#btw what helped me finally calm down is that i finally broke down a little and also took some.pain meds 😭
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the-acid-pear · 6 months ago
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Life truly feels earth shattering when you're having a mental breakdown huh. Like when you let your emotions bottled up they spill everywhere and you just can't do anything it really feels like you'd kill yourself right that instant and then it all gos sback to normal this is so dumb I'm goin gto start killing people like straight up I'm serious
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toythrob · 4 months ago
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Too shy to slide in your dms but I need to get something off my chest. I saw how detailed your answer to the last ask about edging regiment was (that wasn't me btw) but it made me believe you'd be the best person to approach
I'm extremely new to this side of Tumblr. I literally didn't even know about edging until a month ago. I'm very interested in learning more about it. But, I've been cumming non stop since I had my first ever orgasm years ago. I've had like 3 orgasms a day at minimum. So it's not easy for me to just flip the switch and not cum again. I tried getting into edging myself but I'd literally end up cumming on the 3-4th edge.
I realised I needed actual guidance from someone, someone who can teach me and hold me accountable, so I made this Tumblr. Since then, I've encountered a few doms/mutuals who claimed they could help me in this journey. But their instructions were always "don't cum for the next 3 days", "don't touch yourself for a week" and punishments if I broke the rules. Obviously it went nowhere because i ended up cumming pretty quickly.
This is just leaving me more frustrated now. I know what I need, i need a schedule, i need someone to let me cum in the beginning and then slowly increase the gap between when I'm allowed to cum. Use my love for orgasms as a way to ease me into edging. But no dom seems to understand it.
Am i wrong for wanting this? Is this an absurd approach to even expect? am i just a failure at being an edgeslut?
Sorry if this is too long. Feel free to ignore if you don't want to respond, i totally don't mind!
- ✹
I‘m happy to hear from you. I’m sure that you’re not the only one in this situation, so I‘ll try my best to answer this in as much detail as possible as this could be helpful for others as well.
First of all, you’re not in the wrong at all and you‘re not a failure. Sometimes people can be too impatient or inconsiderate. I think it’s perfectly reasonable for you to start off slow, especially considering that you’re still quite new to all of this. You should always have fun and not feel like you’re being pushed to do anything.
I‘ve got a few ideas on how you could ease yourself into this and slowly increase the intensity.
For the beginning, it might be enough to try edging just once. Make sure to stop when you feel yourself getting close
it’s better to stop too soon rather than too late. Over time you will get a better feeling for how far you can push yourself before you inevitably cum. Then take a break for a minute in order to calm down again.
This might already be the point at which you want to reward yourself and make yourself cum. But depending on how you feel, you could also stop altogether and just go about your day (to practice being denied) or start over again with another edge (maybe pushing yourself just a little bit further this time). You could even see how long you can keep doing this and just edge again and again until you can’t control it anymore and finally cum.
I don’t know what the right starting point for you is. I could imagine that you might want to start increasing the number of edges first in order to get used to controlling yourself and stopping in time. Once you think that you’re comfortable with that, try denying yourself
for example start with a manageable amount of edges in the morning and wait until the evening to give yourself an orgasm (or maybe just a few hours if that’s too hard in the beginning). Next, try to increase the denial period and/or number of edges.
Regarding an exact plan, I’m not sure what the right approach for you is
that’s for you to decide. Especially after hearing about your experiences so far, I could understand if you wanted to start on your own and explore how far you can push yourself. Needless to say, it’s easier when someone else is in control and tells you what to do (as long as that’s reasonable). I‘m of course more than happy to help with that if you need it 😉 (communication is easier if you dm me but it’s not a problem if you want to keep this anonymous)
And don’t worry too much about the occasional accidental orgasm
you’re still very new to this and need to learn how your body reacts. As long as you’re not doing it on purpose, I don’t see a reason for such harsh punishments 😉
I hope that this was helpful for you. Let me know how you get on with edging and denial. As this is public, maybe also let others know what helped you and if you have some other useful tips and ideas for starting off.
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cumulo-stratus · 10 months ago
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hii!! luv ur layout sm! also I have a little request >_< !
do you think you could do a Spencer x Male!Reader fic where Reader is having a rough week, just super overwhelmed and eventually he just has a meltdown over something small that everyone can tell that he isn't crying over that. and then Spencer feels horrible for not having noticed his boyfriend struggling and he immediately goes and comforts him and takes him home to relax. at home he just helps Reader calm down finally, making sure he okay and apologizing for not noticing the little signs earlier. maybe just have him holding Reader and kissing him (like all over his face and hands) until he falls asleep?
the melting down over nth efinitely hasnt happened to me btw đŸ€—.. but if it had i wouldve loved to be comforted like that + by Spencer
Mellifluous
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Male!reader
Summary: Mellifluous; Sweet-sounding; pleasing to the ear. Spencer's voice is Mellifluous
Warnings: descriptions of being overwhelmed/having a meltdown , reader yells at Spencer, use of y/n, not proof-read, boys kissing đŸ€©
A/N: thank you so much for the request lovie!! I had so much fun writing this especially since i have t written as much lately! mwah đŸ«¶
wc: 1.2k
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It was all wrong. 
Emily wouldn't stop clicking her pen, somehow Rossi was managing to breathe loud enough you could hear, and Derek wouldn't stop trying to chat up some trainee. Although to most people these seemed like regular, not at all bothersome noises, and most of the time they were- today it was going to drive you mad. So there you sat in your office chair, paralyzed, but somehow incredibly fidgety at the same time. And no one seemed to notice, mostly because they were wrapped up in their own excited conversations about the upcoming weekend. 
“Hey y/n would you mind double checking this consultation I'm doing?” Spencer's tone was perfectly friendly, as well as his general demeanor. Although in his hurriedness to finish his work for the day—he had planned a surprise date for you—he hadn’t noticed your unusual state. Usually the master profiler/boyfriend would have noticed these things, but it was for a good reason. 
“Oh my god Spencer- can you just shut up for once?!?!” you raised your voice at spencer and tears stung your cheeks when you were done speaking. Spencer was immediately taken aback at your tone, you never raised your voice at spencer, ever. For the split second after you spoke, everyone, including yourself, was stunned silent and still. You took the opportunity to dash out the doors of the BAU and down the stairs, still rubbing tears off your cheeks. 
Back in the bullpen, everyone was still silent until Spencer broke it by saying “ something’s wrong, tell hotch i'm going to check on him-” Spencer didn't seem angry, more like concerned, it was his boyfriend after all. Spencer did give anyone the chance to respond before he had grabbed your things and his, knowing he probably wouldn’t be back to the office. He could finish his paper work tomorrow, Spencer thought to himself as he rushed down the many stairs down to the first floor of Quintico. His only focus in that moment was you, and making sure you were alright.
When he arrived in the large parking garage under Quantico he found what he was expecting, you and your car gone. Since you had carpooled in together Spencer was left to walk the 15 minutes back to your shared apartment. 
The walk back was brisk, in all senses of the word. Spencer was eager to his boyfriend, make sure he was okay. His fingers twitched as gripped the strap of his leather bag tighter. 
The lights were off in your apartment when Spencer arrived, and in that moment Spencer was eternally grateful for the apartment key you had given him for emergencies.
“Y/n?”
Spencer's voice echoed solemnly into the quiet of the dark apartment. Even though it was only five pm, practically all the light had disappeared under the horizon. 
No response came, Spencer wasn't expecting one. His calling of your name was more of an announcement of his arrival than an actual calling for you. 
Spencer finally crept his way towards the living room and away from the entrance area, after dropping his messenger and shoes, knowing you didn't like shoes in your house, and you were often particular about these things. 
The floorboards of the god knows how old apartment building creaked underneath his brightly socked feet as he approached the couch. Spencer knew he was going in the right direction when he heard small sniffles and stifled sobs coming from the couch.
Spencer's heart breaks right there at the sound of his boyfriend's cries. “Sweety?” Spencer speaks with a softness to tone as if he was speaking to a spooked animal. 
As Spencer rounded the couch you came into view, you were sitting criss cross, your head bowed trying to calm your breathing. Your hands sat pressed against your ears, trying to block out the ringing. Spencer knew it was irrational, you couldn't stop the ringing with your hands- but you couldn’t think that far right now. It was one step at a time. 
Spencer could see your whole body tilting back and forth slightly in a self soothing motion. “Can I hold your hand?” Spencer was always careful to ask permission, especially as someone who found physical touch to be unnerving himself sometimes too. 
you nodded, and Spencer carefully pulled your palms away from your ears and into his hands. His skin was soft, but cold. You found it grounding. He started placing soft, feather light kisses all over your knuckles and fingers. 
Even simply Spencer's presence had a calming effect, it often did. Although a few stray tears sometimes fell, or the occasional hiccup erupted, you felt a good bit better, and the grounding of his cold fingers in your burnings ones allowed you to focus on something, bring yourself back to the present and away from the sound of emily clicking her pen incessantly. 
Spencer started trailing said featherlight kisses up your arms, scattering them here and there until he reached your shoulders. It isn't in any way sexually charged, like one would expect- it was an act of intimacy in the most comforting of ways. You allowed your eyes to flutter closed when spencer placed a chaste kiss on your lips. 
“wanna talk about it?” Spencer always had an ability to read you, he had already figured out what was most likely the cause of your burst of anger. But talking always helped, Spencer always helped.
Something about his voice, his touch, his everything, had a calming effect on you. “No, I just want you” you said, voice barely above a whisper. But in the silence of the apartment it felt like a shout. 
Spencer smiled softly at your request, nodding. He then rose from his kneeling position on the soft carpet, sitting on the couch next to you and pulling you into his arms. Spencer places little kisses on your face and lips ever so softly, kissing away the last of the stray tears. 
you sat there in comfortable silence, Spencer's fingers gently carding through your hair, and your fingers idly fidgeting with the promise ring you gave him. Spencer still pressed the occasional gentle kiss to your forehead, still not saying anything. 
The silence was comfortable for a while, until you felt Spencer start to shift slightly under you, preparing to get up off the couch. Spencer thought you couldn't tell, but in the tail ends of the breakdown still lingering in your mind, your senses were still hyper alert.
“Don’t go. I don't wanna be alone tonight..” your voice trailed off in embarrassment, not used to feeling unusually vulnerable like this. But Spencer was quick to reassure you, “don't worry honey, i'm just gonna bring you to bed. You're practically falling asleep right here,"Spencer chuckled toward the end of his sentence, causing you to let out a breath that could constitute a laugh as well. 
you sighed, looking ruefully at where you'd previously nested yourself into Spencer's arms. When you arrive at the end of your trip to your bedroom, Spencer carefully releases you onto the bed. He almost immediately climbed in next to you, beginning to softly card through your hair with his slender fingers again. 
“ i love you..”
spencer spoke into the darkness of the quiet apartment, hoping for your answer. But the only response spencer was given was the sound of soft snores falling from your lips as you unconsciously curled yourself farther into spencers embrace, leaving spencer to let the rythmic sound of your breaths, lulling him to sleep as well.
The End
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cosmikazie · 1 year ago
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RAINED WORLD RASCALS RELATIONSHIP CHART IS HERE!!!!
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<NOTE: SUBJECT TO CHANGE>
Nobody asked for it, but I decided if I wanna get to know the personalities and types of my main AU's scugs better and more properly nail them down, this is a way of doing that!
The Rained World Rascals AU is another one of those ones where all the scugs end up in the same point in the timeline (approx. Surv/Monk's time) and have to work together. Much like those ones, this one has LORE!!! And no shortage of it, despite me still hammering out the details. But I've been working on this for as long as I've been a part of the community, and it makes me happy to finally be able to share this stuff around!
BTW, no line just means that the character isn't known well enough by the other character to constitute an opinion either way.
(I'll elaborate on this a bit more under the cut)
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Survivor & Monk
Hunter: They were the first one who the duo properly got to know, and thus became incredibly tight-knit as time went on.
Gourmand: Auncle/parental figure! Back at the big OE tree they watched the siblings grow up, but the Gourmand stuck in the superstructure watershed is much younger and timeline-wise hasn't actually met them yet.
Artificer: Survivor has their disagreements with them, but ultimately respects their rule as a leader. Arti admires Monk, on the other hand, for their innocent youthful attitude towards life. They remind them of two pups who used to be in their life.
Rivulet: (i forgot to draw the line oops) Monk really likes Rivulet's fun-loving attitude towards everything around them, and enjoys playing games with them. They are good friends with Monk.
Saint: Survivor isn't a massive fan of Saint's aloof, uptight and spiritual nature--a fact that Saint is very well aware of--but overall still manages to get along. Meanwhile, Monk spends a lot of time around Saint simply because Saint's got a good listening ear.
ENOT: Neither of the siblings really have any major grievances with ENOT, but Monk is a little bogged down by their tendency to hide behind something when around them.
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Hunter
Survivor & Monk: *see above*
Gourmand: They have massive respect for Gourmand for keeping Monk safe while they helped Survivor search for their sibling.
Artificer: Look me in the eyes. No, look me in the eyes right now. You knew this was gonna happen.
Spearmaster: Hunter really likes having spears at the ready whenever they need them, and while they don't approve of Ol' Spearsy's spear-producing methods, you can't fix what ain't broke.
Saint: Hunter cannot stand how "above everything" Saint is. Their cool, calculating, disciplined behavior is no match for a hotheaded, rambunctious action-lover like themselves.
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Gourmand
Survivor & Monk: Doesn't actually know the siblings all that well yet, but knows they're supposedly their family members from the future, so will do anything to keep them safe.
Hunter: Has great respect for them guarding and escorting Survivor to help Monk find them.
Artificer & Spearmaster: Sorta like co-workers to both of them, seeing as how the three of them together are the pack leaders. Even in disagreement, they are peaceful and kind to the others.
Saint: Not sure how they became so close, but they're pretty sure a blood pact was formed somewhere along the way.
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Artificer
Survivor & Monk: Arti has taken a liking to Monk, as they remind themselves of their own pups from back before... the incident. Survivor on the other hand is a little disobedient and is seen by them as a bit of a troublemaker, but they still make themselves useful, so it's not a big deal.
Hunter: yeah
Gourmand: Gourmand is good at being resourceful and calm, even when the going gets rough. This orange fellow literally has no enemies.
Spearmaster: On the other hand, Arti and Spears have very different ideologies and methods of dealing with problems, especially when it comes to scavengers. For every "if we can be friends, we should be friends" from Spears, there's an "easy for you to say" from Arti.
Rivulet: Arti has no strong opinions on Rivulet, other than that their speed is insanely impressive.
Saint: Arti has ample reason to be terrified of Saint. But they are a great confidant.
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Spearmaster
Survivor: Had a short friendship that didn't really end suddenly, but more just... decayed. No reason in particular, just more important stuff came up, I guess.
Hunter: Hunter values their skills and cares about their hobbies and talents. That's enough for them.
Gourmand: Gourm caters to their digestive predisposition by crafting meals of all kinds that let them use their spears to consume them. They're a real ally, that Gourm.
Artificer: Spears can't understand why Arti could ever hate scavengers. They're funny little guys who love to tell tall tales and have plenty of folklore. What even happened between Arti and scavengers, anyways?
Rivulet: Queerplatonic couple. That is all.
ENOT: Constantly being asked how kissing works if you have no mouth tends to wear you down over time.
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Rivulet
Survivor & Monk: Rivulet is especially curious as to what it's like to have an older sibling, and figures that even in the scary land of the superstructure watershed, Monk can be as carefree and joyful as they usually are, then Survivor's probably a good sibling. Monk is one of two people in the crew Rivulet feels comfortable being immature around.
Gourmand: Rivulet likes to share seafood cooking insight with Gourmand from time to time.
Artificer: Rivulet doesn't like being ordered around, but likes to be speedy and run around, so it's kind of a double-edged sword.
Spearmaster: Queerplatonic.
Saint: Finds them weird, but is ultimately fine with them as long as they aren't being ominous.
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Saint
Survivor & Monk: They don't have much of a connection with Survivor, but Monk reminds them of their childhood--mind you, they can't even remember when they were a pup. That's how much Monk affects them.
Hunter: Hunter is far, FAR too hotheaded for Saint to handle. Too undisciplined, too violent, and too impulsive. They can never get along with each other.
Gourmand: Saint has a pact with Gourmand. If they ever, EVER try to ascend anyone in the pack, Gourmand has the right to remove them from the cycle permanently, by any means necessary.
Spearmaster: Saint shares some sympathy with Spears for being stuck well outside of their temporal extreme of the timeline. They find some solace and peace in knowing they're around.
Rivulet: Just another over-the-top small slugcat to them. It doesn't really bother them, though.
ENOT: ENOT is actually quite interesting to Saint. They're the only other one in the pack who sees the world through a warped lens, albeit a much different one than the one they do.
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ENOT
good lord man.
It doesn't really take much of an explanation for this one. ENOT is just a being with the express purpose of... well, they'd like everyone else to think it's just to love. But there's something else going on here. Something mysterious...
On the other hand, we also have...
Monk: Out of all the slugcats, Monk is the only one that actually manages to TERRIFY ENOT. Why, you ask? Well, considering how ENOT sees the world around them as some horribly distorted, half-finished mess, and Monk just happens to be a pup, then...
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...yeah.
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falloutjuli · 2 years ago
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OHHH BOYYYY OKAY. HEAR ME OUT RIGHT. HEAR ME OUT.
BUCCI GANG WITH G/N!Y/N (PLATONIC OR ROMANTIC IDM <3) WHO IS AN ALIEN (Like from part 4) WHO'S LIKE PRETTY WELL ACCUSTOMED TO EARTH BUT ALSO. TENDS TO SHAPESHIFT INTO ANIMALS ACCIDENTLY WHEN THEY FEEL AN EXTREME EMOTION!!
like pissed at narancia because he broke their favourite cd? OHHHH BOY ITS A FUCKING CHIHUAHUA
Otherwise, have a lovely day and hopefully you've got some good requests to keep you busy, i know what it's like to be painstakingly bored lmao. if you don't feel like writing this one tho, that's fine :)
DRINK SOME WATER BTW. JUST. JUST A SIP. LIKE. A LITTLE SCHLURP.
I LOVE THIS IDEA SO MUCH THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME THINK ABOUT THIS!!
And thank you so much for your kind words, always means a lot! Drinking water as I'm writing this. And now other people who read this... DRINK SOMETHING. NOW.
Anyways, i think it's on the more platonic side, but i think it can also be interpreted as romantic. Hope you enjoy my little writing!
Same content warning as before, typed on phone by an unhinged person 😎
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Bucci Gang x Alien!GN!Reader - Shapeshifting adventures
-------
The boys and Trish are pretty used to your sometimes weird antics but when they bit by bit discovered the shape shifting? OH BOY.
They were all used to you messing up small things that were normal to them, like teaching you idioms and stuff. But this? This is a whole new level of crazy.
First. The Narancia incident.
It's Narancia, so he pretended to know nothing about no CD. Especially not broken ones he helped pick out. No no, he knows nothing about this, never even heard of CDs.
But you know him and his bullshit so you keep nagging him about it, getting agitated by his constant lies.
And just when you wanted to full on speak your mind to him, poof. Bark.
He stares at a little Chihuahua where just Y/N stood that looked like it was ready to bite him.
Once everything in his brain clicks, he laughs his ass off. Tears in his eyes, his laughter filling all of the house, eventually drawing in Abbachio who just wants some piece and quite and now has to deal with Narancia crying/laughing on the floor and a.... Chihuahua angrily barking at him.
It took a while until Abbachio got answers out of the younger one and once everything was explained (well, everything despite what happened to the CD) he went off to get the rest of the gang, trying to contain his laughter on the way.
So everyone was informed then. Fugo and Giorno were super interested in this newfound quirk you discovered, Bruno and Trish were worried at first but once they saw that you had suffered no harm or were stuck in the form their worries subsided. Abbachio found it a little funny but was also glad you were alright.
Meanwhile to Mista and Narancia it's the funniest shit they have ever seen. They keep referencing it. "Ohhh Mista, don't steal their desert or they might turn into a puppy again!"
Those two are true idiots and once they pushed you a little too far and you accidentally turned into a grizzly bear, they finally stopped. For while.
Bruno had that worry again. He wasn't sure if you could maybe hurt yourself or them if this kept happening but you kept assuring him that's you'd never. It's just the form that changes, never the Y/N inside of the form.
Trish and Giorno are super kind to you as always and would barely ever push you into such extrem emotions to the point of accidentally shifting.
Abbachio and Bruno will always look out for you and will tell the others to stop bothering you/calm you down if they deem it necessary. They are never pushy about it, especially not Abbachio.
Fugo is... Certainly something. You're sure if he too was from your planet he'd be a walking zoo with how easily angered he is. You two spoke about that once and Fugo never felt happier to be from Earth.
While Mista and Narancia can certainly drive you up the walls, they also know when it's too much and after you turning into a bear, they decided they would stop trying to set you off on purpose. (Especially since Narancia brought up the possibility of you turning into a dinosaur. Which they deemed cool. But scary.)
This doesn't mean they will stop bickering with you over tiny things.
Mista also called you once a "Discount Giorno." Nobody found it funny and Giorno was tempted to transform his newly bought shoes with Golden Experience but decided against it.
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ratcatcher0325 · 2 years ago
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A Fraction of Justice (Chapter #23)
Alright, here we go with another angsty mess nightmare hospital chapter. 
So grateful to @not-a-space-alien, @kitn-underfoot, and @thegodmother007 for beta reading and giving me some awesome feedback!  
Chapter #23. Will our hero make it out of surgery and finally be done with this mess?
Previous: Chapter #22
Next: Chapter #24
Word Count: 8,904 Read Time: Approx. 60 mins
CW: adult language, extreme angst, dehumanization, infantilization, fearplay, injury, blood, surgery
Tag list: @gatlily @grbene @patrocolus3 @beautifulunknowntrash @titan-god-420 @andraimeide @themarlo @cup-o-chai @lucentbliss @raccoontoaster @tolsizedlove @not-a-space-alien , @thegodmother007, @honey-olive, @bittykimmy13 ,@aceouttatime, @imvenusasaboy, @liminaldaze, @windshield-patent, @joxter-coded, @rosella35, @narrans, @rubeau-art, @littlescaryinternetguy, @jae-from-discord, @kitn-underfoot, @secretly-small, @writing-forever, @iinogongju, @tales-of-aestus
Btw, DM me if you wanna be added to the tag list!
_____________________
A Fraction of Justice
Chapter #21: Malpractices
[Natalie’s POV]
My leg bounced feverishly up and down as I sat up, board straight, teetering on the edge of the hard, plastic chair. It’d been 47
. No, make that 48 minutes since he’d been taken away. I couldn’t help but worry. Who could blame me? It was the first time since I’d found him that we’d been apart and I didn’t know he was somewhere safe and sound. 
I pictured him making fun of me for stressing so much, like some overly protective mother hen. He had no problem standing up for himself, I knew that. But then, the image of his little face when he was plucked out of my hands came to mind: his clear, blue irises wide and glistening with fear. He was strong, devilishly smart and extraordinarily brave, but he was still so very, very small, and, as much as I knew he’d resent the accusation, he was, also, fragile. I pictured just how tiny his hand was, fingers spread as he squeezed the tip of my pinky, barely able to grip onto the whole of it. Alexander could hiss and spit all he wanted, but the tech that had taken him away could still pin him down with just one finger. 
But it was fine, right? They can’t run and operate a business with neglect and not be called out for it, right?? Was he all worked up for nothing? Was I? I mean, I couldn’t blame the little man
. Being handed off to strangers who were twenty times bigger, a hundred times stronger and not likely to explain just what they were going to do to him, would terrify anyone. They were just running tests though, right? I imagined they’d need to take his vitals and possibly x-ray his knee to see how damaged it was.
But it wasn’t that, alone, that had made him tremble from head to toe and cling to the fabric of my shirt
. He seemed convinced that they might hurt him, mess up his treatment, kill him. He seemed keenly aware that it’d happened before, which utterly broke my heart. 
For the past half hour, I’d furiously scrolled through every review site I could find, double and triple checking for any sign that something could be amiss. I found nothing. Just run-of-the-mill posts about treating a cat’s ear infection or resetting a parrot’s broken wing. Still, I couldn’t seem to drop this chilling sense of dread. It didn’t escape my notice that there was practically nothing in-depth about treating little people like Alexander in any of the reviews, just mostly animals. I chewed on the beds of my nails absentmindedly as I fought to stay calm. 
 My knee continued to bounce, the rubber heel of my shoe keeping time on the discolored linoleum tile. Why did I have this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach? It wasn’t just because the environment around me was cheap and dilapidated
. Was it because the doctor had been dismissive of him in his initial exams? The thing was, he was just right there, beyond that metal door. I could rush in there and pluck him up before they could call security. Maybe? I didn’t know. I had no idea what kind of labyrinth of hallways and doors and operating rooms laid beyond the metal threshold before me. 
The thought of him being afraid or in pain in any way, was unbearable to me. What if he needed me and I wasn’t there? What if he was trembling head to toe like he had just a little less than an hour ago, whimpering in my cupped hand? What if he was scared and all alone, right now, and all I was doing was just sitting here
 waiting
. Had I let him down? Had I put him in danger by trying to get him help? 
Or was I just having some sort of savior complex because I felt this intense need to control the world around Alexander?
I knew I had the best of intentions, but still
. I felt this need to know exactly where and how he was at all times. I shuddered remembering when I’d plopped him down in a box and expected him to stay there all afternoon, or when I’d trapped him inside my bedside table drawer, all alone, because he’d hurt my feelings. Was this another instance of me being overly controlling? Was I underestimating him, even now? To me, he was such a breakable little thing, easily bruised by this world that was much too big for him. 
The way he’d clung to my fingers, the fabric of my shirt
. I’d never seen him so vulnerable and afraid before. I’d never seen him look so small before. I jumped to my feet, my heart in my throat. He was just beyond that door. I took a few steps forward, watching with fixated curiosity as the wavy and warped reflection of my figure mocked me in the metal surface like some kind of twisted fun house mirror.  What if I just checked on him? For a second? They wouldn’t kick us out for that would they? The tips of my fingers journeyed through the ever-shrinking gap between my body and the boundary separating him and me. In the next beat of my heart and bat of my eyelashes, the whorls of my fingertips pressed into cool metal. Just for a second. I just want to see his little eyes and know he’s okay. 
Before I could apply any pressure, the door pushed back. I had no time to react before the doctor and a tech, the same girl in the purple scrubs that had carried him off, burst through the threshold. All three of us jumped, startled by what we unexpectedly found right in front of us. 
The doctor had been the one to shove the door open, and now here we stood toe to toe. Had I noticed before how much taller he was than me? He was the first to wrestle his words into speech after the shock, “E-excuse me, Ms. Marquez, what do you think you’re doing?” We stood uncomfortably close, neither giving ground.
“Where is he?” My voice wavered in such a way that exposed how nervous I really was. I clenched my jaw, trying to pull it together.  
“There’s nothing to worry about ma’am
. Please, have a seat
” The words, meant to be reassuring, came from a voice I hadn’t heard very much before: crisp, coaxing, female. On my left, the vet tech was halfway through the door which she propped open with an elbow. I searched her bare hands, feverishly, for a shock of blonde bangs and blue eyes. They were empty. I panicked. 
 “Wait
 w-where is he? Why’s he still back there? Is he okay? Is he all alone? Is he scared? I need to know he’s okay—“ 
 “Of course! Of course, you’re concerned. Don’t worry, he’s perfectly safe and comfortable. If you’ll just take a seat, Doctor Greene will be more than happy to answer any questions you might have
.” Her smile was blindingly bright, her eyes shimmering and earnest. The doctor nodded along with her as she spoke, raising his brows expectantly in my direction, when she was finished. I froze. Was I being a complete idiot right now? Was Alexander perfectly okay and I was looking insane for wringing my hands over him? But then why wasn’t he back in my arms safe and sound? What did they need to tell me? I just wanted to see him. Before I could process, those disappointingly empty hands with their chipped, dark polish, were lightly resting on my shoulders, guiding me away from the door and back where I began, seating me in that hard plastic chair. 
 I stammered, “W-what’s wrong with him? Why won’t you bring him out here? All he needed was medicine for the infection, right?” As I hurled my volley of questions, the doctor, who I just now noticed had a file tucked under his arm and no longer sported his white coat, sat down and wheeled over to the examination counter, placing the file flat on its surface and resting his elbows so that his poised hands came to rest below his chin. As he did this, the tech settled in the back corner of the room, leaning against a cabinet in the corner halfway in front of the door that lead to Alexander. My pulse pounded away in my skull, that tan folder with its unknown contents burned a hole in my periphery as I stared into the veterinarian’s bespectacled eyes. 
 He cleared his throat as I gripped the rough underside edge of my seat, “First off, I want to apologize for the lengthier than usual wait time on our initial examinations. It’s nothing at all to worry about. I promise, your companion is in very attentive and focused hands, here. Isn’t that right, Nina?” The tech nodded in agreement, smiling again. Why did his tone shift ever so slightly when he included her in the narrative? “Now, to the matter at hand. Unfortunately, the damage is, well, worse than we thought
” my stomach dropped at those words. As he continued, he reached for the file between us, “If we take a look at these
 Nina, if you will?” 
 He flipped the file open to reveal a paper splotched with deep, inky blacks and ghostly, silvery whites. I couldn’t tell what I was looking at. Nina stepped forward at his command, clutching the paper, she turned from me and flipped on the light box mounted on the wall to my left. 
She spoke as she worked, “Your little friend is awfully cute. I can tell he’s a little spitfire, though, too! But, hey, don’t worry, he just needed some gentle coaxing and he was the perfect little patient!” Why did my hackles raise at that? I had a hard time believing her. It wasn’t easy to get Alexander to do anything he didn’t want to. Was he really just scared enough to be docile for once in his life? That didn’t seem like the fiery little man I knew at all. 
 Before I could follow up with more questions, the room was cast into darkness, as she flipped off the lights and clipped up the paper on the illuminated display. Suddenly, the smoky shapes came in to clear focus in the backlight. It was an X-ray. It was his x-ray. I was looking at Alexander’s skeleton. My blood pumped faster in my veins, as my brow furrowed and I felt a tightness in the back of my throat. I couldn’t help but clamor to my feet to get a closer look. Because he was so small, he fit head to toe inside the image, the only part of him that was cut off was his left shoulder and leg on the right side of the display. That was him, his tiny little skeleton, blown up larger than life on a pitch black background. This image of him was at least four of five times larger than the real thing. Even then, how fragile those little bones looked! None of them were thicker than two fingers pressed together. My eyes went immediately to his right knee joint. I was no medical professional, but I didn’t need to be to see the sharp, black line that cut across his bone just above the knee. A complete break, not just a fracture. The blurry white mess that was his actual knee seemed to show how damaged it was. Poor little Alexander had been hobbling around on a broken leg? 
 With a grunt, the doctor rose from his seat and shuffled over to the display, “As you can see, the joint is severely damaged and there appears to be a significant break on the very base of the femur. Have you been allowing him to exercise? Put any unnecessary strain on it?” 
 “N-no. Not that I know of. I’ve been trying really hard to keep him still and off his feet as much as possible
” But it was anyone’s guess what he’d endured before I found him. He wouldn’t tell me anything. 
 “It appears the damage has been exacerbated by too much weight on the wound
 wear and tear from strenuous over-use
” for some reason, he darted a glance at the black-haired tech, before clearing his throat, “In any case
. Nina, turn on the light, if you want it to heal right, he’ll need surgery to reset the bone and to flush out the infection, which has spread to a critical extent
” the room was flooded with blinding fluorescent light, once more, making me wince as my eyes fought to adjust and I struggled to understand him. 
 My world stopped as what he was saying finally hit me like a ton of bricks. I managed to stutter out just one word, “S-surgery??” I parroted it back like an idiot. The thought of his tiny little body being operated on by their comparatively massive hands sent shivers down my spine. 
 “Yes.” His response was simple and blunt, I stood, rooted to the spot, in shock, “Please sit.” As he beckoned for me to be seated he fetched the X-ray from its no longer illuminated display box and sat down, pulling a sharpie pen from the breast pocket of his scrubs, “So, we’d make an incision here, just above the break—“ he began marking the ghostly image of Alexander’s leg with the pitch black ink. I interrupted.
 “W-wait, wait, wait. Surgery? Are you sure there’s no alternatives? He can’t just, like, I don’t know, have a stint or something?” 
 The doctor’s exhale sounded almost amused as he removed his glasses to polish them on the bottom hem of his scrubs. “My understanding is you have no insurance. Is that correct?” 
 “
. Well, y-yes
.”
 “I want to be completely honest with you. The fact of the matter is, this particular procedure will be costly without insurance. And, not only that, performing these kinds of operations on such small animals carries with it a significant risk—“
 “—He’s not an animal
He’s a person, just like you or me
 he’s just littler, that’s all
.”
 “O-of course! Of course he is! He seems very smart, too!” Nina was smiling brilliantly again. I clenched my teeth. I was beginning to dislike her.
 “It is my professional opinion that an operation will be necessary to save Alexander’s life. Now, I understand you may be hesitant, due to the upfront cost–”
 I snapped back, a newfound edge in my voice, “I don’t give a fuck what it costs, I just want him to be okay. Is that a clear enough answer for you? And, anyway, he should have some say in this. It’s his body, after all. Have you told him yet? Bring him here, and I’ll make a decision with him.”
 Another exchange of charged glances, and then a blunt response from the doctor, “Unfortunately we can’t do that.” 
 My heart was pounding faster and the room suddenly felt hot, I scowled and spoke through clenched teeth, on the razor’s edge of holding it together, “What do you mean you can’t??? You most certainly can. I have a right to see him. If he’s fine, like you say, then there’s no reason why you can’t let me talk with him, right now.” 
 The doctor leaned away from me, rolling his chair a bit further back, almost as if in a protective stance between myself and the door that continued to bar my way, “To clarify, what I mean is that would be a very bad idea. You see, in our experience, reintroducing the patient to
. The human they’re most familiar with after they’ve been properly acclimated and relaxed, will only serve to significantly agitate and generate an undue amount of stress for the patient right before major surgery. It is best to keep them calm and in one location prior to operating. You wouldn’t want to frighten him, would you?” 
 “Well, no, of course not, but—“ 
 “—and, as for his consent to the operation, we, of course, agree with you wholeheartedly, that your companion should have a voice, however, we, unfortunately, live in a world where only your signature is binding.” By the time he finished his speech, he’d rolled back to the edge of the counter opposite me. 
 I swallowed, my nervous system awash with adrenaline, my mind abuzz with fear and frustration. I just wanted to see him, to know he was okay, to hold him and never let him go again, “You say he’s just waiting back there? He’s not in pain? He hasn’t asked for me?” 
 The vet tech replied, her intended reassurance somehow unsettling to me, “Believe me, we made sure he was as relaxed as possible before we came in here to talk to you. He’s in no pain, whatsoever.” 
 “A-and there’s no alternative to keep him from having to go under?” 
 “Unfortunately, no.” It was her boss’s turn to reply. All I could think about was the look on Alexander’s face when he begged me not to let them put him to sleep. My chest tightened, the doctor carried on, “The infection is getting worse by the minute. It’s highly possible, if not probable, that if left untreated, it will develop into sepsis, which can lead to organ failure. In addition, he likely won’t walk again if the leg doesn’t have the chance to heal properly. He’s stable at the moment, but he needs to be treated now to prevent further complications
” I blinked hard, trying to settle the fire alarm fire blazing in the back of my skull. I gaped, like a fish, my eyes darting from my own hands, clasped tightly together, and back up to the doctor. 
 “I-I just want him to come out of this okay
” As I stammered, the tech fished for and offered me a document, flipping it open to a signature line, while the doctor offered me a hefty ballpoint pen from his front pocket. 
 “Then all you have to do is sign and date right here and we’ll get your little guy all patched up!” A painted nail tapped along the dotted line. I stared hard at the black blocks of text on white printer paper, but couldn’t make sense of any of them.
 It didn’t seem like I had any choice. He could die if something wasn’t done, and fast. My heart was thundering in my chest. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t do everything I could to help him. He was a fighter, he’d fight through this too. The least I could do was give him a chance. Then, when it was all done, I’d do everything I could to help him get back to normal as soon as I could hold him in my arms again. The sound of an impatient cough broke me from my train of thought. 
 “So? How would you like to proceed?” 
 I bit my lip, my head on fire. I reached for the pen, unable to think about anything other than those two frightened little eyes, “You promise me you’ll take good care of him? That you’ll be gentle? He-he means a lot to me. I don’t— I don’t know what I’d do if anything
.” I choked on the words as my eyes welled. I cleared my throat to hold it down. “I’m not going anywhere until I’m holding him again and I know he’s safe and sound.” 
 “You’ve got nothing to worry about. Like we said, we think he’s just precious. It’s always such an honor to take care of other people’s companions. He’ll be back to normal in no time.” That blinding smile. Paper pushed forward. The pen, slippery between my clammy fingers. I swallowed, hands trembling, the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. 
***************
I was floating, weightless, not quite alive, not quite dead. I felt nothing, I had no sense of my body, where I was in space, or time, for that matter. I was asleep, but dreaming in vivid color of nothing put velvety blackness stretching on for eternity. Who and what was I? I didn’t have the faintest idea. 
Then, as if honing in on some distant frequency, like sudden static from an alien satellite transmission, I heard a babbling of noises, coupled with a repetitive sound, like a beeping, that cycled at seemingly regular intervals.  
They were incomprehensible at first, these sounds, just irritants, loud and untranslatable. But slowly, slowly, this floating, weightless, thing that was and wasn’t me, whoever that was, began to stitch the sounds together into
 words. 
Floating above my consciousness like some ethereal notes in some unknown symphony, I found descriptors for these sounds, or, I think they were called, voices? One sounded female, the other male. I couldn’t, at that moment, remember what those descriptors implied, but I, somehow, knew they were apt. As I floated along in darkness, those words began to form snatches of sentences. 
 The male was first, “Wait, wait, you actually said that?” 
Then the female, “Fuck yeah, I did. I was like, ‘Lady, your little dude literally could not be more relaxed’ and she was just all, ‘Oh, o-okay’. Like, I won’t lie, for a minute there I thought we were gonna have to call security, but she totally ate it up after a while
” 
“No shit?” 
“That’s the thing, Greene pegged her for one of those overly-concerned types. So, it wasn’t hard to build up the drama of it all. These little guys are, like, cash cows if we put them under the knife
”
“Really? Why? Cuz they’re basically the same as people?”
“Yeah. Dude, look I know you’re new and everything but did you not pay attention at all in school? You have to take a whole extra semester of classes just to be qualified to operate on ‘em. And, yeah, he’s still sorta in hot water from the shit that went down a few months ago, but, like, it’s not like Miss Worry Wart and her pissed off little chihuahua here, will ever know about it. I think Greene’s smart to go after the money. Anyway, he showed her how bad the break was and pushed her to go for it. Don’t tell Greene this, but I think the full break in his femur might be our fault. We might’ve been a little too rough– Don’t say a fucking word, Jason, you toyed with him just as much as I did
” 
More sounds accompanied my non-existence as I heard things I think I remember calling footsteps and the scraping of chair legs on a linoleum floor, a new gruff voice, male. Barking, commanding. All the while that same beeping sound, keeping rhythm like a
 metronome? Was that the proper term? 
I heard words like scalpel, incision, stable, antibiotic. I had a sense I was once familiar with them. 
However, as the unknown length of time pressed on, my endless floating began to change. Numbness no longer permeated all around. I slowly began to sense that I was
. Lying down? That I was
. Cold? Very, very cold. Or was I hot? That rhythmic sound changed its beat, getting faster. I heard, “vitals shifting” from
 one of those voices? Or all three? I knew, now, I had a body, even if I couldn’t feel it. Well, not all of it. 
As though waking from a dream, second by second, feeling returned. Like a kettle slowly rising to a feverish, shrieking boil, I too, began to feel a tingling, which turned into a hazy ache, that cascaded into a burning, a searing, an excruciating wildfire of pain exploding from my leg. The background rhythm was beeping like crazy now, inconsistent and frightening. The part of me I remembered as a chest was heaving up and down. 
Above all that, came loud, thundering, angry voices, like gods threatening to rent the sky in two with their rage. 
The gruff, male voice was accusatory, “How much, Nina? How much did you administer?” 
A female voice, high, defensive, “W-well, I didn’t wanna over do it! Look at him, he’s tiny!”
A third, panicked, “His heart rate is spiking, he’s destabilizing
 h-he’s coming to!” 
“Nina, you have to tell me what you gave him or I’ll end up killing the little bastard. How much?” 
“Shit! I gave him 0.2 milliliters, okay??” 
The panicked male rejoined, “I told her that wasn’t enough, sir! I said—“ 
“Oh shut up, why don’t you? I can’t trust  either of you. It’s a simple fucking task
 and you two still fuck it up—“ 
Like being suddenly and forcefully pulled from the quiet, rocking depths of the ocean to flounder helplessly on the deck of a boat, gasping for air and waiting for death, all medicinal haze was ripped away and I was fully aware, fully awake and fully alive to the absolute horror that was my situation. 
The sounds of my own screaming seemed separate from me, as I sat up, flailing, bloodshot eyes wide and twitching. I heard the voices of the creatures so much bigger than me up above. 
“Jesus fucking Christ, restrain him before he fucks this up!” 
 In one panicked, fear filled heart beat, I took it all in: blinding, painful overhead light, blue, monstrous tendrils, encased in latex, like some kraken with twenty powerful appendages instead of just eight, surrounded me. The human fingers were all so huge and overwhelming. There was something shoved down my throat, slick, clear, it snaked off to an unknown destination, on my chest, something adhesive, thick, stiff, with wires protruding from it, an electrode for an electrocardiograph, but seemingly for a much larger life-form than myself. Without hesitation, I pulled on the tube, but was barely able to wrap a fist around it before.. 
“Oh no you don’t, stay still!” Those disembodied fingers wrested it away from me and pinned me back down against the metal surface below. I didn’t want them to touch me, I had to get free. Snarling and screaming, I writhed and kicked, but that quickly came to an end when my entire body was suddenly wracked with a sharp, biting, fresh sensation: the most excruciating pain I’d ever felt in my life. 
“Shit.”
Through the tears welling in my eyes, I hazarded a glance down at my leg. What I saw there made me nearly pass out. 
 Blood was spewing, thick, red, hot, horrendous. My knee was all red, open flesh, slick and horrific. The source of this brand new pain? Still pinched between his fingers, the blade of the scalpel, massive, razor sharp, was buried in the flesh of my knee. I was screaming and wailing, trembling from head to foot. 
 Meanwhile, the man wielding the instrument of death above my head, simply scowled as though he’d found a bruise on his apple or a fly in his drink. He grimaced at his surgical tool in my leg like it was some mildly frustrating inconvenience that was interrupting his work. Planting a finger on my ankle and a thumb on my thigh, he pinched the handle of the blade and ripped it from my leg. My ears rang as my vision faded momentarily. 
 He replaced the bite of the scalpel with pressure from a thumb pressing a strip of gauze to staunch the bleeding, over his shoulder, he regarded his inferior, “Well, at least this one isn’t dead because of your little mishap. Where’s Lindsey? She’s the only person here I can trust to do anything right the first time.” 
 “Y-you put her on laundry
. Sir
.”
 “Go get her.” The young man stared at his boss, with a dumbfounded expression, “That means now, Jason! Goddammit, I’m surrounded by idiots! As for you, Nina. This is the last straw. Pull this shit again and you’re fired. I’ve already got the AHA crawling up my ass about the last case. Go home, I don’t want to see you till Monday.” 
 “-But
 I was just having fun with the little guy, I didn’t mean—“ 
 “Monday. 6 am. Got it?” 
 “You know this little fucker bit me? Maybe we shouldn’t waste all our time and effort and just put him down for aggressive behavior!” 
 “Nina, go home!” And with a dissatisfied sigh, she was gone from my field of vision. He spoke, but not to me, “I’m getting way too old for this shit
” I felt eyes trained on me for a split second, before the sound of a door squealing open, caused us both to turn our heads in its direction. 
 Lindsey practically ran in, Jason, seemingly with no sense of urgency whatsoever, following behind. 
 Breathless, the kind woman rushed over to where I lay. The man pressing his thumb into my open flesh, bellowed at her, “Lindsey, finally! I’ve staunched the bleeding. Clean up this godforsaken mess, intubate him, suture the site of incision, blah, blah. You know what you’re doing. I need a fucking cigarette
 or ten. Come get me when it’s time for client delivery. Ah, and Jason
. You’ve proven today to be utterly useless, too. Go home and get out of my hair before you make my migraine any worse.” 
 The grumbling voices and movements of the men faded from my notice as the young woman with bright, hazel eyes stared down at me with true compassion. I was a pathetic mess, face streaked with tear stains, the plastic tubing thrust down my throat, half naked and trembling as my knee lay cut open and thoroughly rent. 
 “You poor, poor little thing. What’d they do to you? Are you in pain?” I nodded furiously, tears threatening to fall again. My breathing was ragged. Every muscle in my body ached. I didn’t have the energy to make noise anymore, let alone put up a fight. 
 “Of course you are. Okay, well I promise you I will help you. I’ll do everything I can to help. It’s Alexander, right? I’m Lindsey. I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve this, Alexander. Look at me, hey, it’s okay. Don’t cry. You’ll be back home in no time. But first, I need your help, alright? Will you help me? I need to close up this wound here, so you can start to heal. But, that’s going to be extremely painful if you’re awake. Do I have your permission to put you to sleep so you won’t feel anything?” I jumped, snarling and shaking my head,  “I promise, I know how to do it correctly. You won’t wake up in the middle of it, this time. Look, here, I’ll show you exactly what I’m gonna do. You see your knee, how it’s still all cut open and exposed? I’m going to stitch that all back together, with one line down the middle and a horizontal line above your knee. You’ll have a “T” shaped scar once it heals. All the infection is cleared out and, hopefully you’ll regain full use of that joint after the bone in your leg fuses back. But I don’t know for sure, now that you got an abrasion from a scalpel on top of everything else. Hey, don’t squirm
 try to lie still
 I know you don’t know me, but I need you to trust me, okay? I wanna see you reunited with
 What’s your friend’s name? Is it
 Natalie?” I nodded, noticing how my heart fluttered and the machine with its beeping gave away the increase in my heartrate, “I wanna see you reunited with Natalie as soon as possible. You want that, too, don’t you?” I nodded, gritting my teeth through the constant pain, “I’ll make you another promise in return, okay? I won’t leave your side and I won’t let anyone else lay a finger on you until you’re back in Natalie’s hands. Do we have a deal?” I nodded sheepishly. Feeling utterly spent, but still completely terrified, I laid back down, flat on my back, and began counting backwards from one hundred to calm myself. 
 “Okay, Alexander, I’m turning on the anesthesia now. All you have to do is take a deep breath, in through your mouth and out, through your nose
 Good, perfect. That’s perfect. You’re going to be okay, Alexander. Natalie’s waiting for you. It’s time to sleep, now
 jussstttt relaaaaaxxxxxxx
” My eyelids felt extraordinarily heavy as her voice melted and faded. Then, within another cycle of breath, I was fast asleep. 
 ********************
 I’d long since chewed my cuticles to bits until I drew blood. I’d paced every square inch of this hellish little room that was starting to feel more like a cage than a waiting area. I’d driven the secretary crazy asking time and time again if they’d be done soon. Her flat, insincere, “Any moment, I’m sure” made my blood boil. I was about to tear my hair out at the roots when the squeal of the door made me leap to my feet and fly across the linoleum tiles.The woman who entered the room was a stranger to me. She came in pushing the door with her shoulder, her back to me, initially. As she turned around, I saw why she’d come in that way. Her hands were otherwise full with a tiny little body.
 He was cradled very gently in her cupped hands, completely unconscious. He lay there, peacefully, his knee wrapped thickly in a massive bandage of white gauze. I reached out for him immediately, “Let me! I have to hold him. Is he okay?” Wordlessly, she very carefully slid his limp little form from her hands to mine. I cupped both palms, trembling just to feel his skin on mine again. The second his tiny weight landed in my grasp, my eyes welled with tears. 
 He lay there, completely disheveled, his lips parted, his hair sticking up all over the place, his skin looked pallid and shiny from sweat. I cradled his little head on the pad of my pinky finger. The same one he’d squeezed before being carted off. The rest of him nestled safely in the hammock of my two palms pressed together, his heels resting just over the edges of my hands, balancing atop my wrists. I was so grateful just to hold him again, I leaned in and whispered, “Alexander. You’re okay. You’re coming home
 I was so worried about you
” I rubbed his hair from his eyes, caressed his little cheek, traced his chin, rubbed his pecs and relished in the pounding of his tiny heart, all with the tip of my thumb. 
 I had forgotten for a moment that he and I were not the only ones in the room. I glanced up to notice the new vet tech standing politely, staring at the little man in my hands with an expression that mirrored my own. I cleared my throat, hurling a barrage of questions at her, “So? How is he? How’d he do? Is he going to heal successfully?”  
She seemed to hesitate at these questions. My pulse quickened as I watched her cast her eyes down, before meeting my gaze. I furrowed my brow, she cleared her throat, “
 He, he was
 incredibly brave. The good news is he should be free of infection and after a round of antibiotics, he will be back to normal. Um
 However, the surgery involved
 well, a little more trauma than expected
” 
“W-what? What does that mean?” 
She was hushed to silence as Doctor Greene chose this incredibly inopportune time to make his appearance. The second he walked in the door the smell of cigarettes wafted in with him. Did the tech’s shoulders seem to slump a bit when he entered the room? “I see you’ve already gotten acquainted with Lindsey
” he then whipped around to her and mumbled under his breath, “I thought you were going to tell me when you were ready to return him
” She didn’t say a word as he turned to me, his voice back to being chipper and light, “
And your little friend is back where he belongs. Wonderful. Now, as you can see, everything went just fine. He’s still under the influence of anesthesia at the moment, and it will likely take him several hours before he’s fully alert and awake again. Now I will tell you, when he does come to, it is highly possible that he will be disoriented and confused. He may not know himself or you at first. He may ramble on about half truths and hallucinations from his experience with us. This often happens. Their little brains get flooded and they become highly overwhelmed. They often exaggerate the details. Don’t worry if he acts a little skittish, or upset by the ordeal, they almost all do. We do everything we can to keep them calm, but it can still be frightening simply because they don’t understand. Just lay him in some dark, isolated place and he’ll quiet down soon enough.” I wasn’t going to put him in solitary confinement after one of the most traumatizing experiences of his life! He’d be right by my side until he made a full recovery. That was non-negotiable. 
I stared at his sleeping form in my hands. Alexander, his head was no bigger than the tip of my pointer finger. His hair stuck to his forehead in a sticky, sweaty mess, his little chest rose and fell in a slow rhythm. I carefully slid him into one cupped palm, gently taking up his tiny left hand on the tip of my, now free, finger. Even in his unconscious state, his body fully limp, the weight of his hand, his arm, felt like nothing. 
Alexander, were they good to you? Are you going to be okay? What did she mean there was more trauma? I wish you’d open your little eyes and talk to me. I want to hear it from you, no one else. He, of course, stayed motionless. The doctor continued on, “I’ve filed a prescription for a round of antibiotics, as well as pain medication, those will stave off infection and help with recovery. Now, the bandages will have to be changed at regular intervals, and please don’t forget to wrap the sutures in plastic wrap before dipping him in water, otherwise you’ll be right back where you started. Keep the area as dry as possible and, of course, keep him from bearing any weight on it for the first four weeks. Speaking of
”
He began to fish in his pocket. I continued to stare at the sleeping little life taking refuge in my hands, my heart skipping a beat when his tiny hand flexed and squeezed my finger. I looked up long enough to see the vet reveal, in the flat of his palm, something sealed in a little plastic bag printed with labels that obscured what was inside, “Now, he, almost guaranteed, won’t need that walking aide long term, but just in case, or at least for those first few weeks, after the initial month off, he’ll have it. You can give it to some dollhouse enthusiast afterwards.” I reached for the tiny aluminum cane, approximately three inches long, and pocketed it, before caressing his bright, golden hair, “And, if you think he’ll try to mess with his bandages too much, these are highly effective at dissuading them
” He’d fished around in a drawer before offering something else in his outstretched hand. This time, it was a tiny little surgical cone. I set my jaw. Absolutely fucking not. He’d kill me if I put that on him. My disapproving sneer was enough to express my opinion on the matter, “Alright, then. Just a suggestion
. I have one more form that I’ll need from you for our exit paperwork and otherwise, Trisha should settle payment at the front desk.”
“You know he’s gonna tell me if you did something
.” I tore my eyes away long enough to burn holes into his bespectacled ones. 
He raised his brows, smirking a bit in surprise, “Of course, miss. But, like I said, they come up with all kinds of fanciful tales when under the influence of medication. He’ll likely be quite disoriented and confused.” 
“You have no clue who you’re messing with, do you? If you so much as bent a hair out of place, I promise you, you’re going to regret it. He won’t hesitate to come after you.” 
A stifled chuckle and the clearing of a throat on his part told me what he thought about that. The tech just stared at the floor, clearly unamused. 
I raised a brow, challenging him, “Just wait and see what happens
.” It was enough to make the veterinarian and his tech exchange a worried glance. Satisfied, I left that godforsaken room and checked out. It was a blur of curt interactions. I tried not to balk when the total was read aloud. I just wanted to get him home and away from this place. 
The drive home was drizzly, cold. It’d gone from morning to dusk since I’d first arrived, to now, as the hospital finally faded from my rearview mirror. As I drove, I cradled him with one hand against my pounding heart, caressing his head and chest with a thumb. 
 Returning home, finally, after picking up his medications, I collapsed on the bed, unwilling to let him out of my sight for more than the length of a single heartbeat. “You’re gonna be okay, Alexander. You’ll heal up, good as new. I’m right here with you, I’m not going anywhere, never again.” I stroked his head, his cheek, his chest. When I laid the length of my finger down on top of his body, he, as if from instinct, wrapped his tiny arms around it, just like he had the day I’d watched him sleep in my nightstand drawer. 
 I couldn’t help myself, my throat got tight again. Poor Alexander. He was such a fighter, a survivor, but at the end of the day he just needed a little bit of tenderness and love, like everyone else. I burst into tears, “You’re so sweet under all of it. You’re such a sweetheart. So small
. Look at you, look at how little you are. I can feel your tiny heart pounding away. What’re you dreaming about? Do you know you’re safe? Do you know you’re with me?”
 His brow twitched and I held my breath, hoping to watch him stir awake. But no, his little arms went limp again, one sliding off of my finger and landing, limply, by his side. I pinched his other wrist between the pads of my fingers and kissed the inside of his palm with careful lips, “You’re so brave. You’re so incredibly brave. Do you know that? I’m in awe of you. You’re so much stronger than I could ever be
And
I’m so sorry.” My chest hurt as my throat clamped down, the tears cascading down the planes of my face, “I’m sorry if you’re hurting. I never meant to hurt you. You have to know that. I wanted to help. I just wanted to help you get better. Please, please wake up. Alexander? C’mon, open your eyes. Please tell me you’re okay. Tell me that bad feeling I had was just a feeling and nothing more. Did I fuck up? Were you scared? Alone? Did you need me to come rescue you? If they hurt you, I’ll help you kill them and hide the bodies. I swear. I’ll help you make them pay. You deserve so much better than this, Little Nightmare. Let me help make it better. In whatever way I can. Please. Just wake up
.” 
 I took his tiny hand and splayed it out on the tip of my finger. It was his left hand, his writing hand. Tiny little veins protruded from the back of it and along his forearm. His fingernails were hard to even see, slightly purple against the rest of his skin. The fingers were lithe, slender. He had ‘perfect piano playing hands’ as my mother had always called them. I adored this little hand. I rubbed the back of it, with an ever so delicate brush of my right thumb. You’re going to do great things with these hands. I know you will. 
 Almost as if on cue, he started to stir and twitch. My heart leapt to my throat, as I watched wide-eyed and breathless. I laid his little hand back down over his chest. I wasn’t sure if he’d be blitzed out from the drugs and think I was trying to grab him. His brow furrowed deeply as he tossed his head to the side. His whole body shivered and his little hands twitched and then relaxed. My heart was thundering away. Then, in a sudden rush, he opened his brilliant little eyes with a gasp, and stared up, directly at me. Good morning, Little Nightmare. 
 “Hello. How are you feeling? Does anything hurt? Are you okay?” I spoke just above a whisper, trying to be as soft and comforting as I could. His brow furrowed as he listened to the timbres of my voice. He looked confused, his eyelids seeming far too heavy for him to keep open. He didn’t say a word, just blinked lazily, his little mouth slightly open, “Alexander? Talk to me. How do you feel?” 
 His eyes batted in rapid succession, he sucked in air, as if shocked, “You know my name???” Did he not even recognize me? Was he still disoriented like the doctor had mentioned?
 “Alexander? Of course I know your name
. Do you know mine? Do you know who—“ 
 He scoffed, blowing air through his lips, interrupting me. He did this far too loudly and for far too long, even after I’d gone silent. As he laid back in my hand, every muscle relaxed, his cheeks flushed, his jaw slack and his speech lazy as though speaking through a mouthful of cotton, that little know-it-all brain of his still managed to shine through, “Of course I know who you are! Easy
” he paused for a full five seconds, searching for the next word, “
peasy
” Oh my fucking god, this tiny man is still high off his fucking ass!
 He blinked, once, twice, three times, as he lifted himself up on an elbow. But he was barely able to do that before he came crashing back down with a little grunt, his head lolling a bit. I tried to stifle my laughter, reminding him to be careful. “No, nnno! D-don’t, don’t you laugh at me!” 
“I’m not! I’m not laughing at you, Alexander, I promise!” I protested, literally fighting to keep my composure as I spoke. 
His brow furrowed as he huffed, all the while pointing his little finger up at me, jabbing the air like a professional swordsman, “You are! You think I don’t know! B-but I’m nnot stupid! I know! I know exactly who you are! Ex-ac-tly!” He punctuated each syllable while his head lolled about and he blinked sleepily, “So don’t
 don’t act like I don’t know! I do! I’d recognize you anywhere!!” Okay, little man, we get it. You’re right, I’m wrong, what’s new? Even high you’re always ready to pick a fight with me. 
 I’d gone from weeping over his limp little body, to biting back tears of laughter. He was entirely in his own little world right now. I couldn’t believe I was watching the same super serious, uptight, angry little bastard I’d come to know and love now rambling nonsense in his post-surgery daze. I tipped my chin, having way too much fun, “Oh yeah? Who am I, then, smarty pants? What’s my name??”  
“You
. You are unmistakably–  Mmmm, the air tastes funny
”  
“Alexander!” 
“Hmm??” His eyes were halfway to closing as he mumbled. Poor thing. He’d been through so much. I should let it go. 
“Never mind, forget it
 you should rest—“ 
Then, with a sudden burst of energy that made me jump, he stared me straight in the eye and pointed up at me, “Arwen Undómiel!! Th-that’s
 that’s your name
” He was grinning from ear to ear, absolutely delighted with himself for cracking the case. 
“I’m sorry
 what?!” He thought I was a Tolkien elf. And he’d said it in perfect elvish, no less. The smartest man I’d ever met genuinely believed I was a fictional elf. Oh god, I hope he remembers this, so I can tease him about it later. I couldn’t help myself: I burst into laughter.
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percsane · 2 years ago
Text
— did i drive you away? ☆
pairing: riri williams x blk afab reader
content: angst , swearing , upset reader and riri.
summary: riri’s been pushing you away without realizing, and you can’t help but wonder why..?
kendall’s note: okay yall, finally writing some angst (it’ll have a happy ending dw) but i’m not sick anymore so now i can actually fr write, this is inspired by sparks by coldplay btw!
(♡) or rb! :)
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read.
that’s what read underneath the last message you sent riri..
last week.
you decided it’s been enough time since you last talked, you missed your best friend, the love of your life..
you walked up to her room and waited for a second, thinking of what you would even say to her.. today was the same day that her dad died years ago.
you were the one she went to when you both were just 15.. running to your arms and crying into your shoulder and she sulked over her fathers death, and as her best friend, you looked out for her.
you knew this day was always hard for her, every year that would pass it was as if it got worse.
you stood in front of riri’s dorm, and finally knocked on the door, anxious to see how she was holding up.
the woman who opened the door wasn’t your riri.. but she was.
riri had deep dark circles under her eyes, her face was puffy as if she’d been crying all day, her eyes were red, and her facial expression, she looked hurt.
you stood with her favorite snacks and chips and drinks in a little bag you made for her, she looked at you, then down at the bag.
“not in the mood today, (y/n).” she said harshly, her voice hoarse
you pushed past her and entered her room, placing down the bag as if she hadn’t said a thing.
“i promised you when we were 15 that i’d never leave your side on this day, no matter how upset, how angry, how embarrassed you could possibly be, i’m not going anyway riri williams.” you spoke, sternly.
“(y/n). i’m not in the mood today. look, maybe next year i just need space, i really need you to get the fuck out.” she says, you can see the build up of anger getting to her.
“but i-” you started.
“(Y/N) GET THE FUCK OUT.” she yelled brokenly, you decided if she needed her space, you’d give it to her. though, it broke your heart to see her like this, you didn’t wanna push it.
you left and as soon as you were on the other side of the door, you heard it slam behind you.
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a few days after the.. incident you continued to give riri her space, you would notice her stare at you in lectures, and every time you looked back at her, she looked away.
you were in the library, trying to study for your next exam as you clicked away on your computer, headphones in your ears as you listened to music to calm your nerves.
you felt the presence of someone next to you, looking up from your computer, you see her.
riri gives you a weak smile.
you return it, taking your headphones off.
“hey..” she speaks quietly.
“hey riri.” you say blandly.
“can i uh
 talk to you?” she asks, scared you’ll say no.
“yeah.” you shrug, backing your stuff up into your tote bag and getting up to exit the library with her.
“look, i’m sorry for yelling at you.. and being an ass. i really dont fucking deserve a friend like you, you do this every year, and you never disappoint me. i guess i got a lil scared that.. i dunno maybe one year you’ll realize you don’t need to do this shit for me anymore..” you saw tears fill her eyes as she talked, trying to wipe them away.
“riri..” you began.
“no, listen to me i’m sorry, i’m sorry i blew up on you, that i let my own insecurities get in the way of our friendship.. i really just hope i didn’t drive you away. i love you, (y/n). more than a best friend should and that shit fucking scares me.” she confesses, making you look her in her eyes, cupping her cheeks as you press a kiss to her forehead.
“riri, i love you too ight? that’s never changed, i’ve always seen you more than a best friend, and i don’t want that to change. but you could never, ever drive me away. i’m not going anywhere okay? neither is my love for you.” you smile, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips.
riri pulls you closer and hugs you tightly, making you chuckle a little before rubbing her back.
“my heart is yours, riri williams.” you whisper into her neck.
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fiymywings · 2 years ago
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ahh if youre able to, would you mind sharing some tls of hollow? there’s so little content of him? 😭
absolutely! i'll make a few proper posts with translations once i get the time and energy to (very mentally burnt out right now so basically anything i've already done/am working on at the moment are the most i can muster), but this is sort of an assortment of summaries/from-memory translations for the time being
it's a bit long so it's under a read more but hopefully these can suffice until i get on that
from ch. 2 of his beginning of a dream meister story:
hollow and emma run into someone injured in a back alley, and rush to aid him only for a bystander to mistake hollow as the perpetrator behind several similar attacks, insisting it was him on the basis of him being caught literally red handed. hollow doesn't reply and just dismantles a nearby wheel barrel to become a makeshift . i forgot what they're called but they transport hospital patients and tells him to take the injured guy to help which clears the air up pretty fast. the resulting conversation happens:
Emma: By the way... when that guy said your hands were stained red, what was up with that?
Hollow: ... fufu~
Emma: ?
Hollow: Efufufufu~
Emma: ?????
Hollow: I was enjoying a particularly good drink of pomegranate juice that day. Though, I appear to have been a bit clumsy with disposal.
(i think about this exchange so much. yes she did use ??? in actual dialogue if im remember correctly)
Moon route Ch. 3
after having essentially put down a mechanical hound, he approaches emma and asks for her hand before putting a handmade metal bracelet on her. she asks about the details, and he confirms it was made with some scrap parts from the hound, having wanted to carry the memory of the hound around before she realized he had a matching bracelet (this made me start absolutely losing it btw. absolutely broke the hinges off my metal door)
he also said a REALLY nice quote about hardships and relying on each other but i cant for the life of me remember the baseline of it so i'll rb and tack it onto it
guild home interaction
i don't have the exact tls and because it was a random event it might take a bit for me to get it again to tl but essentially hollow was flipping through a book/magazine, saw an illustration of a mouse, and yelled. emma went to check up on him and tried to calm him down but iirc he ended up bolting despite it just being an illustration
train of remembrance ch 5
hollow sits down next to emma after effese (i dont know how to spell his name sorry if i got it wrong hgfdjb) is settled down by her and they take a moment to look out the window (this one i had written down because i was gushing to someone over discord)
Hollow: Would it be alright if I rested here as well? Emma: Of course! Go ahead. Hollow: Nfu~ Then, please excuse me a moment. If you take your time gazing out there
 it's as if just outside the window is but a sky full of stars. Though of course we have our current situation, it begins to feel like we're merely on a journey. Just a bit. Emma: Fufu, looks like it. Hollow: Everyone back at Niji no Kanata too, they're all working very hard, so
 Someday, with you invited along as well, I'd like to go on a nice relaxing journey together. Certainly Lagoon will prepare the finest transport available. Emma: Wah, I'm looking forward to it! [ Idling chatting with Hollow, the tension from prior had abruptly relaxed.] Emma: (Such a nice feeling, it's like my shoulders have finally untensed. Hollow
 he pretty much controlled the energy in the room, huh?) Hollow: Efesse too, shall we get you sat down somewhere so you may talk too?
he later dropped the bomb he had basically picture perfect memory and could remember stuff even back when he was just a lil baby which is pretty in line with his natural talent of not just dismantling at stupid speed but 1. rapid assembly 2. part recognition (i.e. recalling what part in a machine is what series, what number, what alloy, etc)
some uncategorized stuff:
hollows date lines, i dont remember if its 10+ or 20+ since i have him at 26 but hes talking to the player and says smth along the lines of "we look like lovers? ... ah, that makes me happy"
it's confirmed in his sun route he sort of mentally blacks out upon hearing a clock and has to stop everything in order to dismantle it right away assumedly because of a noise trigger. it's played off for giggles in the main story but it seems outright painful for him in the meister story so i have no idea what's going on there but i believe in ch. 3 emma actually asks about that and he essentially goes "although i'm not sure, i'm sure i'll figure it out eventually!" nonchalantly and emma goes YOURE SO CHILL ABOUT IT?!
i'm not sure how well i would translate it, but he speaks pretty politely/formally! i kinda translate it as the type of speech "OH GOOD HEAVENS!" would come from as a result but you're welcome to interpret it as you'd like
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fishflop-00 · 2 years ago
Text
Arranged Marriage
Shoto Todoroki
~part 4/last part~
btw~All characters are aged up to 18
⚠~sayings of sex
pink-y/n
red-shoto
purple-your parents
orange-endeavor
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About a week later Shoto still didn’t talk to you a lot and spent a lot of time at work. So you purposely made him get up late so he would forget something and you could bring it to him at work
you felt bad but you needed to know what was going on
he forgot his lunch so you got on a cute red body-con dress with sparkly jewelry and left to give it to him
Shoto works with his dad (in his dads agency) so everyone knew you as you walked in. You walked up to his office and knocked. You heard a loud “come on!” so you walked in.
“oh hi”
“hey, you forgot your lunch”
“Oh thanks”
“not that you want to eat it..i made it”
“im sure it will be fine”
you two laughed and you put the food on his desk. You two talked a little and as you talked you realized that he was checking you out a little
you leaned across the desk and kissed him. he stood up and kissed you back. you put your arms around his shoulders and he pulled you onto his desk
he made space and you sat on his desk in front of him as you two made out a little.
“can we do it?”
“I mean..I don’t see why not”
he leaned you over the desk and you two had the best sex.
and you finally felt the spark between you two
-
2 weeks later you just got home from a photo shoot when you got a notification from your period tracker app..it was 10 days late
you starred at you phone for a second before starting to freak out. you dropped all of your stuff and quickly got into your car
you went to the store and got a pregnancy test, as you were walking out paparazzi was taking photo of you and you tried to hide the box as best you could
you went home and took it
you are pregnant
you broke down in tears on the ground not knowing what to do.You didn’t feel ready for a kid but you w want to not have it..all you could think of doing was you needed to tell Shoto
you pulled yourself together and drove to his agency
When you got there he was with his dad in his office. You could hear them screaming at each other from down the hall
you knocked on the door and walked in
“Hey y/n, what are you doing here?”
“I um..i need to talk with you
alone”
you were fidgeting with your fingers and he knew something was wrongïżŒ
“Oh ok sure”
he brought you into the hall
“whats wrong?”
“i uh-“
you burst into tears
“hey..hey whats wrong you can talk to me”
“shoto im pregnant!”
he looked at you in shock and put his hands behind his head
you guys had had a conversation about kids once since thats the reason your parents wanted you married, but you two said in a couple years
but it was happening now
“Shoto please say something!”
he looked at you in your eyes and held onto your face
“I want this baby”
“are you sure?”
“yes..very”
“I love you y/n”
“I love you too”
you hugged him and cried into his shirt. he held you close to him and helped you calm down
you both love each other and you finally said it, the baby would have a amazing home
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zorosq · 3 years ago
Text
midnight calls ; various
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↻ pairing ↬ platonic!rayleigh x sabo x ace x zoro x gn!reader! (seperately)
↻ fluff, grammatical mistakes, familial relationship with rayleigh, mention of death (once), modern au and canon au
@saku-changgg asked: Helloooo! How are you? I hope you're not having a bad day (if you are I hope you feel better fast đŸ„șđŸ€—đŸ„°). This is my first time asking for a request lol and I'm kind of shy 👉👈 I just saw your other post about wanting to write about Rayleigh, Ace, and Sabo, are you still up for it? If yes, may I request for a fluff with the prompt "midnight calls". I don't really have a specific scenario in mind, for as long as it'll end up being all sweet/romantic I'm all good. And if it's not too much to ask, I hope you could also add Zoro bc I'm a Zoro simp (tho I enjoy reading fics of other characters, too). Oh and it's with a fem so/reader. Gosh I hope this isn't too much. And I'm in no rush, feel free to take all the time in the world writing it. 😁😊 Umm, that's all. Thank you so much! I enjoy reading your fics, btw. I look forward to reading more. đŸ„°đŸ’šđŸ’š
a/n since i dont write anything romantically for rayleigh (yet) he would be left off as a familial relationship instead and also gender neutral since i didnt mention any gender in this <3 p.s the rayleigh one might be childish but i've had that kind of nightmare before
rayleigh
hearing the soft ringing of his ringtone, rayleigh groaned, being disturbed by a call so late. but when he sees the caller, his annoyance was washed away as quickly ad it came. "h-hey, rayleigh," you spoke timidly.
he could hear the slight shakiness in it, indicating that you had either just cried or maybe had a nightmare. "sorry to call you so late... it's just that, i can't sleep,"
he hummed. "do you want to talk about it?" he asked as he lays comfortably on his back. you broke down into tears, thinking back at the night terror that was hunting you earlier in your sleep. "it's just that... i dreamt of you! and you ― you died in it!" you couldn't even finish the rest of your sentences. it was all so scary that you just didn't want to think of it.
"it's just a nightmare okay? it's not real. do you want to come over here tonight? shakky can make you something to calm down," you could hear the female hummed. "yeah, that would be nice. thank you, rayleigh," you smiled, feeling a little bit calmed.
his comfort might have been simple, but you just needed reassurance. and he get that.
sabo
the blond-haired male could hear the gentle knock to his door. it wasn't unusual for him to stay up late till midnight due to his position in the revolutionary.
but when he heard your voice calling for him from the other side of the door, he was concerned immediately. "y/n? you okay?" he quickly bombarded you with questions while ushering you inside.
"it was nothing... do you think i can sleep here? i missed you," you replied. it was true. even though he doesn't have any mission at the moment, he was making himself busy by helping dragon with the reports and some other stuff little by little.
sabo cleaned his table, putting everything neatly back to its places. "hmm... i missed you, too. sorry that i haven't been spending time with you even though i don't have a mission," the male apologize.
he pulled you towards the bed, laying the two of you under the blanket on his single bed. his blond curls fell graciously on the pillow, making him look ethereal. no― he would still look angelic no matter in what form.
he cuddled you closer to him, kissing the side your neck before pulling back, making an eye contact with you. when he smiled, it was contagious that he also got you smiling.
and before you know it, the two of you fall deep into slumber.
ace
his footsteps grew louder and finally stopped in front of your room. the knocking at the door rouse you awake. you groaned as you woke up from your slumber. "y/n? hey, it's me,"
your eyes were wide opened at the sound of the owner's voice. you scrambled out of your bed and made your way towards the door. the sight before you made your heart ache. "ace? what's wrong?"
"can i come in first?" he asked. you ushered him inside and closed the door behind you. the two of you sat on the bed with your hand holding his comfortingly. he could tell that you were concern about him due to his slight red eyes. "i was thinking about luffy and sabo..." he confessed, blushing slightly from embarrassment. "why are you embarrassed about it? nothing's wrong thinking about your loved ones," you squeezed his hand.
"i just missed them. especially sabo..."
you pulled him into a hug, resting his head onto your chest which he snuggled into. "do you want to sleep with me tonight?" you asked. he just hummed and pulled you until the two of you were laying on the bed.
"i'm sure you'll meet with luffy again soon... after all, he's almost 17 right?" you said, kissing his nose lightly. "thank you, y/n,"
zoro
the green-haired male yawned as he kept looking out the window. the knock on the floor brings him back to reality. "oh, it's just you,"
you fully climbed up the ladder and took a sit beside him. his arm was quick to went around you, hugging you sideways. "what's up? it's not like you to come up here this late," zoro said. "is it wrong of me to visit my boyfriend?" you countered. "nah... it's just weird," his lips quirked upwards into a smirk.
you mirrored his smirk before chuckling. he cup your cheeks before pulling you into a kiss. the kiss was short yet full of passion. "need to recharge," he muttered against your lips before kissing you again.
his kisses left you breathless, making you to pull away unwillingly with how addicting his lips are. when he forced you to pull away, you were chasing after his lips, hearing a deep chuckle from him. "i'm not about to let you die from my kisses,"
"doesn't sound like a bad way to die..." you smiled. his arm around you tightens, pulling you closer to his side so that you would snuggle into him. "sleep," he said ― more of a command than a reply. his eyes saying, i know without him even voicing it.
you just had a nightmare yet again. and he hadn't forced an answer out of you. he knows that when you're ready, you would tell.
"goodnight," he mutters, leaving a kiss on top of your head.
a/n finished! cant believe it 😭
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squishytenya · 4 years ago
Note
May I get aizawa and hizashi forgetting your birthday
Of course you can my love! Sorry this took me a little while btw mwah ily
𝐓𝐡𝐞đČ đ…đšđ«đ đžđ­ đ˜đšđźđ« đđąđ«đ­đĄđđšđČ
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Pairings: Hizashi Yamada (Present Mic), Aizawa Shouta (Eraserhead) x gn!reader
Notes: i love this series and i love getting asked for part 2 of things so asdjhl this was exciting! Hope you guys enjoy <3
Warnings: arguments (Aizawa) but not for a long time, sadness, insecurity, in case you didn’t realise they forget the readers birthday, cursing (aizawa)
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━Hizashi Yamada (Present Mic)
Look, Hizashi is a very busy man and this is something you know
So when he cancels your dates, you’re mostly understanding and he always reschedules anyway
But you can’t exactly reschedule your birthday can you
Which is the exact thought you have while sitting alone on your sofa
He’ll be home soon though, right?
It’s 10pm when you finally five up. Your clothes are creased from you lounging on the couch. You had gotten ready at 6pm since that was when he got off of UA. Yet 4 hours later and your apartment was still empty besides you. You rubbed your arms, embarrassed for being so excited. Of course, he hadn’t actually said he was taking you anywhere but you just assumed since that’s what he did ever year since you met.
It was 11pm when he finally showed up. The bags under his eyes let you know just how tired he was and you felt slightly guilty for the verbal thrashing he was about to get.
“Hey baby, what are you all dolled up for?” He sung, tired voice carrying through the silence
“Oh nothing” you scoffed, crossing your arms, “only my birthday dinner”
The man froze. Your face was blank but your eyes swam with hurt. It wasn’t like him to do this kind of thing. He had never forgotten a birthday before or an anniversary. Hizashi was very organised when it came to events, especially ones that concern you.
Which is probably why he held such a devastated look on his face. He took a few steps towards you and cringed when you shuffled away. Sitting on the sofa, he turned to you. The remorse was evident in his face and it was probably that which tipped you over the edge. Tears started streaming down your face. You looked away, the guilt was evident enough on his face and you doubt you could’ve kept up the anger if you were looking.
Soft fingers held your chin softly, pulling it so your partner could see your tearyface.
“I’m so sorry y/n” he sighed, “I’m just tired and been so caught up with work y'know?”
You sniffled, nuzzling into his hand to show you were listening. His own eyes were tearing up now and you could see the guilt swirling throughout the colour you loved so much. It was obvious he hadn’t meant it but you still hurt.
“I promise I’ll make it up to you tomorrow gorgeous, take the whole day off just for us two?”
Nodding, you rested your head on his shoulder. He hummed you to sleep and your both pretended not to feel the guilty tears dripping down his face. It was a conversation you could have tomorrow. You trusted him to make it up to you, malicious wasn’t a word you would use to describe your partner.
“I love you” he mused, kissing your head as your eyes slipped closed.
━Shouta Aizawa (Eraserhead)
You wish you could say that Shouta wasn’t the type to forget things
He forgot a lot of things but never something like this
Your birthday and anniversaries were like the one thing he remember
There have been more than a few rain checks called last minute but you never really cared
He always made them up to you in some way but this one was different
It was dark already. You hadn’t felt particularly safe in this part of town but while you were waiting it had started raining and now your paranoia was getting to you. It wasn’t even an unsafe part of town but you were alone and already emotionally vulnerable from being ditched for almost four hours by your long term partner. It was now reaching 11 and you were ready to cry.
Finally, you decided to call Nemuri, explaining to her what happened and where you were. The usually happy woman scoffed into the phone at her friends actions and came to pick you up. You were soaking and broke down in her passenger seat as she drove you home.
You shut the door quietly as you walked into your home. You were wet, crying and tired. An interaction with aizawa would have you breaking down in a way you really didn’t need tonight. Just your luck.
“Where have you been?”
You glared at the man on the sofa. He was lounging in a pair of old pyjama trousers, settled ont he sofa as if he hadn’t just humiliated you.
“Really Shouta?” He flinched at the use of his full name, “I’ve been standing outside of a restaurant alone for four hours, waiting for my partner to come and celebrate my birthday”
He checked the date on the calendar on your coffee table.
“Y/n, I-“
“Do you know how humiliating that was? You forgot my birthday, Shou!”
Your voice broke saying his name. You sank down onto the floor, head in your hands. The exhaustion was finally catching up to you, meaning you didn’t protest when strong arms wrapped around you and a familiar scent surrounded your body. His hands rubbed up and down your shoulders, calming you until you could speak.
“I’m sorry kitten, i can’t tell you why other than it just slipped my mind” he murmured into your hair, “I’ll make it up to you i promise”
You sniffled, tucking your head into his neck. You were still a little angry, still very upset but the feeling of his arms around you was a comfort you would allow yourself to indulge in. You trusted aizawa and knew he would make it up to you. This was something that could be sorted tomorrow and for now you just wanted to sleep in the safety of his arms.
“I’ll be better for you, I promise”
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I feel like this was lowkey shitty but it’s all good, hope you guys enjoy and request are currently open!
Remember that reblogs and feedback help content creators! And that ily guys all very much!!
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hpimaginesandblurbs · 3 years ago
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may you make hermione x fem reader x harry smut where the girls are both hard dom and punishing harry. like, reader eating out hermione in front of harry? degrade him, spank him with a paddle, making him ride hermione's thigh while tying his hands? literally they both rail harry and play with each other in every way đŸ˜»
pairing(s): harry potter x hermione granger x reader
warning(s): 18+, threesome, dom/sub roles, dom!reader, dom!hermione, sub!harry, mentions of spanking/paddling, bondage, oral (female receiving), thigh riding, slight anal play, voyeurism(?)
word count: 1.3k
a/n: this is my first time writing anything with two girls so i hope you enjoy! if you want to request anything else with the girls, please feel free! i'm bi so it really is no hardship lol. happy pride month btw to all my lovely lbgtqia+ followers and readers!
“Look at him whining, so pathetic,” Hermione mused from where she laid naked on the bed, waiting for you to join her.
You looked down at Harry, who you had just tied to a chair. His hands were bound behind his back, his legs tied down to the legs, and his chest strapped to the back. He had no relief for his aching cock that hung heavy between his thighs. Or his aching ass that you and Hermione had just had the pleasure in turning red.
You rounded the chair until you were in front of him before you grabbed a handful of his unruly black hair and tugged so he had no choice but to look at you.
“What are you whining about, hm? Is it that sore arse of yours? Because you know you deserved that. Or do you just want to get off that badly like some desperate little whore?” You asked, a smirk coming to your face as he blushed just as scarlet as his house colors.
“Both, Miss,” he forced himself to respond, knowing he would only make it worse for himself if he didn’t answer.
Not that your little masochist wouldn’t love a little more torture. You and Hermione always made it worth it in the end.
“That’s what I thought,” you said, releasing his hair in an aggressive push, knocking him back against the hard chair. He whined at the contact, and you knew the movement put unwanted pressure on his ass. “You’re lucky you’ve been good so far. You should be grateful I’m even letting you stay in the room. All you have to do now is be a good boy and watch me take care of ‘Mione and maybe I’ll let you get off. Try not to make too much noise,” you taunted before turning on your heel and making your way to the bed, sure to swing your hips just enough to torture him.
It was short work getting Hermione in the position you needed her in, exposed to Harry while in the perfect position for you to pleasure her.
You let him look at her exposed cunt for a moment before your fingers were on her and in her, a gasp of pleasure falling from her lips.
“This could be you right now, touching her and making her cum. But you just had to be a naughty little boy who couldn’t keep it in his pants,” you spoke directly to Harry, not missing a beat with your fingers. What you said was in reference to the rule he broke, no touching himself without your or Hermione’s permission. It was the whole reason he was being punished in the first place.
“Please,” he begged in a breathless whine, his eyes clouded with arousal and his chest heaving as he tried to keep himself calm.
You didn’t answer him, just simply turned your full attention now to Hermione who was basking in the pleasure your fingers were giving her. You watched her for a moment, in awe of how lucky you were to have two of the most beautiful people you knew under your command. It was intoxicating and arousing all at once.
Slowly, you kissed your way down her soft thighs, relishing in the way she shuddered in anticipation. When your tongue connected with her clit, you heard twin moans come from the pair of Gryffindors and you were sure you were dripping onto the bed by now.
You worked her effortlessly. With practice came perfection and you knew this way Hermione’s favorite way to get off, so both you and Harry had had plenty of practice. You felt her warm walls grip your fingers as you worked her closer and closer to her release until she let out a cry of your name and spasmed against your face, the wetness of her climax evident on your lips and chin when you pulled away.
You moved your body to kiss her, letting her taste herself off of you in a heated kiss. Her hands trailed your body, already desperate to return the favor but you pulled yourself away before he could get too far.
“I feel like we’ve been awfully neglectful of someone,” you said quietly, but just loud enough for Harry to hear.
“He’s been quiet,” she commented casually, speaking as if he wasn’t even there.
You made a noise of agreement before you continued the little charade. “Maybe he’s finally learning his lesson.”
“Doubt such a pathetic whore could ever learn his lesson,” she teased with a smirk.
It was then he finally made a noise, a high pitched whine as he listened to the two of you speak so openly about him. Both of your heads snapped towards him, and he was watching the both of you with a feral, lustful gaze that made your head spin.
When you took stock of his body, you couldn’t help but grind yourself down on Hermione’s thigh just to ease the pressure you felt between your legs. His face and chest were flushed a pretty shade of pink, a stark contrast to his angry, red cock that was jutting up between his legs. He was leaking an absurd amount of precum, probably of the edge of cumming untouched if you had to guess.
He was beautiful when he submitted like this.
“Have you learned your lesson yet?” You asked, staring at him intently.
“Yes, yes, please, Miss. I learned my lesson. Please. Just want to touch you. Anything. Please,” he begged aimlessly now that he had the chance to speak, his hips thrusting against the air pointlessly in search of any friction. A harsh breeze would probably send him over the edge right now.
“Shh,” you cooed as you made your way over to him, careful only to touch his face when you approached. “You’ve been good. I’m going to untie you now and you’re going to go sit on ‘Mione’s thigh and hump your little mind away. Does that sound fair?” You asked, slowly releasing him from his bonds as you spoke.
“I won’t last,” he whined quietly, sounding beautifully pitiful.
You couldn’t help the smile that came to your face. “It’s cute that you really think we’ll be done with you that easy,” you told him as you coaxed him up from his chair and watched him make his way over to Hermione, his hands still tied behind his back.
You did what you could to help him onto the bed, but even your touch seemed to affect him too much.
When his cock touched the smooth skin on Hermione’s leg, he let out a beautiful moan that had you and Hermione smiling at each other over his shoulder.
“Show us how bad you want it. Show me how bad a little slut like you wants to cum,” Hermione instructed, knowing full well he wouldn’t last long against her body.
With his head buried in Hermione’s curls, he began to rut against her slowly, doing everything in his power to keep his climax at bay for as long as possible. Her hands stayed gentle on his hips, not guiding him but just a reminder that she was there.
From behind, his entire ass was exposed to you and you knew you had to take advantage of it.
Slowly, your hand smoothed circles over his now bruising skin until your fingers were in the perfect position to swirl around his tight hole. He shuddered and groaned at the feeling, but continued in his valiant effort.
When one of your fingers slipped in, he was now rocking back onto your fingers and forward against Hermione’s skin. He rocked one, two, three more times until he was cumming with a cry and a full body spasm, his walls tight around your finger.
You both let him breathe through it for a moment before two sets of hands were on him again.
With your chest pressed against his back, you leaned down closely to whisper in his ear.
“How about you lay down and take care of me now? Show me what that pretty mouth is good for.”
And you relished in the way his body eagerly shivered against yours.
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Text
Work It Out
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Summary: Spencer realizes that he might just have feelings for his neighbor after seeing her in her workout gear.
A/N: I boofed it. Trying to write a blurb and I ended up writing a whole fic. I will never learn.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (Implied that reader is athletic but no mention of her body type)
Category: Smut, Angst, Fluff
Warnings/Includes: bad communication, cursing, smut, graphic descriptions of sexual acts, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, light spanking, please let me know if there’s anything I’ve missed!
Word count: 2.7k
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Requests Filled: 
“blurb idea that’s been living in my head, rent-free: reader is spencer’s neighbor and a dancer, who he has a huge crush on. spencer goes over to her apartment to borrow something and interrupts her daily stretches and spencer gets all flustered because she’s wearing leggings and a sports bra, and she’s so flexible”
“okay so this next thought came to my mind while i was doing some exercise lol: imagine that u started a new routine and you feel super tired at the ten minutes of the video haha, then spencer came back to work and when he see u doing some squats he's so turn on and then he just get close to you from behind and whispers "c'mon bunny, u can't with this, the only thing that u can handle is my cock" and then he just fuck y/n so hard aaaaaaaaa btw i'm the anon who sent that visual the past week of Twitter about the flowery lingerie đŸ˜ŒđŸ™đŸ» â€”đŸ„€â€
“okay so like reader working out in Spencer’s apartment and he’s just watching her and getting all worked up. reader noticed and starts teasing him until he can’t handle it - 🐍”
-- -- --
They’d struck up a friendship almost instantly, from that first day that she moved in. He tried to help her with her boxes but he almost felt like he was holding her back, he got winded just going up and down the stairs on his own, let alone while he carried an entire box he later found out had been full of books. She laughed at him when he placed it down on her kitchen table and read the permanent marker label on the side. He still remembers how light her laugh had made him feel, how perfect it was.
From that first day things were just easy, effortless. He liked that he didn’t have to think around her, about work, about anything, he always felt so comfortable around her. Until that day.
The day that he couldn’t find his dustpan and brush after breaking a glass, so he went next door to see if she had one he could borrow. When he knocked on the door and heard a small ‘it’s open’, he walked in as normal, but nothing could’ve prepared him for the sight.
The furniture in her living room was pushed to the walls as she stretched in the centre of the room. He was sure there must’ve been a name for the pose she was in, but all he could concentrate on in that moment was how her body looked in the spandex of her leggings and sports bra. The smooth way her body contorted into strange shapes, the way her back arched so perfectly, and the way he could make out every curve of her body in a way he’d never really noticed before.
Thankfully she didn’t seem to notice his staring as she concentrated on her movements before finishing up her pose.
“What’s up Spence?” she breathed once she relaxed, turning her eyes to him.
And for a moment he wanted to turn around and run away. He was almost positive that his face was a glowing shade of pink, he could feel the heat as it radiated off of his cheeks while she looked at him expectantly.
“Uh, I um- A glass!” he stuttered out, “I broke a glass” he finally managed but she still just looked up at him with a puzzled expression.
“Okay, we’re really low on news today I see” she laughed, and he sort of wished she hadn’t, because it’s his absolute favorite sound.
“Sorry, I wanted to- I uh- I came over to see if you had a sweeping brush?” the words almost get caught in his throat but he fights to get them out, and he’s more proud than he really should be.
“Oh, under the sink!” she tells him, and he makes quick work of finding it before mumbling his ‘thanks’ and rushing back to the safety of his own apartment.
It’s a day he could never forget, even if his memory was normal. And part of him wished he could forget, because he knows that that’s the day he started treating her differently. It wasn’t easy or simple anymore. It was awkward and strange and he had a huge, stupid crush on her.
-- --
It doesn’t take long for her to notice the little changes in his behavior, the way he avoids her in the halls, or always seems to be inexplicably busy whenever she tries to make plans. And on the odd occasion that they do speak he never seems to be able to hold eye contact. It continues like that for a while until she just can’t take it for another second.
She waits until she knows he’s home, staring out the peephole at the door opposite hers until she sees him open it up and walk inside. She gives him about 5 minutes before she marches over and slams her fist against the door, a lot more urgent than necessary.
When he opens the door he looks tired and deflated, and his tie is undone, hanging around his neck. She can see the fatigue leave his features a second later, only to be replaced by a look of pure shock.
“Y/N?” he asks, like he’s not sure she’s really even there.
“Yeah, can I come in?” she asks, but she’s already maneuvering past him and into his living room like she’d done so many times before he’d gotten strange.
“What are you doing here?” he manages to get out once his shock subsides.
“What’s going on with you Spence? We’re best friends until one day you decide you don’t like me? What’s that about, I just have to pretend like I live next door to a stranger now?”
He looks like a deer caught in headlights. She’s not even sure she can see him breathing as his face begins to flush.
“I’m sorry” he breathes out first, “I wasn’t trying to- okay I was avoiding you, but it’s not because I don’t like you”
“Sure seems like it” she sighs, and for a second he looks heartbroken.
“No!” he blurts out, “It’s not that, I swear” he shakes his head, reaching out to touch her before retracting his grip, thinking the better of it.
“Then what is it Spence?” she looks at him with a softness now, with a pleading behind her eyes, and he can’t hold back anymore.
“It’s because I do like you” he says it like he’s relieved, like it had been gnawing at him, “Because I really like you”
“Like me?” she asks, the realization finally dawning. “As in...”
“As in... romantically?” he can’t look at her when he says it, closing his eyes as if he’s bracing for impact. But the next thing he hears is his favorite sound once again. She laughs at him. It’s not cynical, or rude, it’s the kind that’s filled with joy, and maybe just a little exasperation.
“Well I wish you’d’ve told me that sooner” she says once she’s calmed down, and when he opens his eyes she’s smiling at him, taking a step closer.
“You do?”
“Mmhmm” she nods, “That way, I could’ve let you know all about this crush I’ve been harboring on you for a while now.”
He doesn’t have time to think before she’s got her lips on his, soft and delicate against him. For a minute he can’t really understand what’s happening as her hands reach up to cup his face softly, and they stay there after she pulls back. Her thumbs gently grazing his cheekbones as she admires his shocked expression.
“You’ve had a crush on me?” is the first thing he thinks to say, and she nods, smiling up at him.
“Since that first day when you helped me move in” she admits, and the timeline clicks in his head. She’s wanted this longer than he even had. Something about it puts his mind at ease, the though of being desirable to someone like her just makes him swell with pride in a way he’s not even sure he understands.
“Oh” is all he manages to get out though.
“I know, we gotta work on your self confidence because you, Spencer Reid, are a catch” she smiles at him before diving in for their second kiss.
-- --
It’s probably too crass to say out loud, but his favorite part about moving in together is undoubtedly, her daily exercise routine. Sometimes it’s in the morning, sometimes the afternoon, sometimes the evening. He’s actually starting to suspect that she times it for when she knows he’ll be around to see it.
He waited a little while to confess just know much he thought about her in those leggings. The lilac ones that were still in her rotation. Not that he didn’t find her sexy all of the time, he really did. But there was just something, maybe pavlovian, about seeing her in those lilac leggings. The way they hugged her body, he always found himself staring more than he was proud of.
Whatever routine she’s following this morning has her just a little out of breath. And he pretends to be reading the paper at his desk while she pants less than 10 feet away from him. The sound alone is distracting, but when he glances up and he can see her doing squats, all he can focus on is her ass in those fucking leggings.
“8, 9.... 10″ she breathes out, finishing off with a small groan.
“Too hard?” he chuckles, giving in and laying his paper down.
“No way, I can handle it” she turns around to grin at him before turning back around, starting into another set, counting them out slowly.
He seizes the opportunity and gets up out of his chair, making his way quietly over to her while she concentrates on her form. When he’s finally behind her she’s nearly out of breath again, pushing through the last rep when his hand snakes around her waist and pulls her back against him. He leans in to her ear as he whispers.
“C’mon Bunny, I guess you can handle your squats, but can you handle this” he almost moans it as he presses his already hard cock right up against her ass.
“Fuck” she breathes out in a little gasp, her hands moving up into his hair to pull him closer.
“Do you think you can handle it Bunny?” he groans again, grinding himself against her this time.
“Yes! Yes Spencer please, I can take it” she moans out as his hands begin to roam over her body, gently tracing along the exposed skin between her bra and her leggings, feeling the warmth of it.
“Then be a good Bunny and bend over for me, okay?” he growls against her ear and she moves fast, bending over the back of the sofa, and presenting herself to him. He takes a step back to admire the view for a moment before he’s got his hands on her body again. His fingers go straight to the waistband of the leggings, tugging the smooth fabric down, pulling it until it's gathered around her feet, quickly doing the same with her panties until there was nothing in his way.
“Fuck, you look so good like this” he groans, a soft hand caressing the smooth skin of her ass before rising up and coming back down with a loud slap, followed by a high pitched whine from her.
“Did you like that Bunny?” he asks, gripping a rough handful of her ass as she moans out a meek ‘yes’
So he repeats the action, pulling his hand up only to slam it back down again rough and excited against the now sensitive skin.
“Fuck” she purrs, her legs closing, thighs moving together in an attempt to get some friction. But he puts a stop to that right away, placing one of his feet between hers and kicking them apart so her legs were spread for him.
“If you wanted something Bunny, all you had to do was ask” he teases, moving his hand along the curve of her ass until it was hovering between her legs, where she was desperate and wanting. He purposefully lingers just a moment too long before pushing two fingers inside of her. He’s rewarded with a low moan that pours out of her.
“So wet from just a little spanking, you’re so good for me” he groans, “Do you think you can handle my cock yet sweetheart?”
She can’t help the way she clenches and tightens around his fingers at the very thought. It’s not like they didn’t fill her up, they were so much longer and more agile than her own fingers, but nothing could really compare to his cock.
“Fuck, please” she whimpers, wiggling her hips just a little as though that might help convince him that she deserved it.
“Such a good girl, I think you’ve earned it” as he speaks he pulls his fingers gently out of her, and she forces herself not to while at the loss of contact. He pulls his cock out of his boxers, pumping it himself a few times before he lines up behind her. Though they both love this position, she can’t help but miss watching him. The way his eyes close and and he bites his perfect plump bottom lip. But then he’s easing in and the feeling of him is enough to eclipse every other thought in her head.
“Oh god! Spencer!” she stutters out a moan, her hands flying forward to grab at the cushions on the sofa, digging her fingers into the soft down.
“You feel so good Bunny, always so wet for me” he groans as he pushes the whole way in, burying himself right up to the hilt.
His hands make their home on either side of her hips, his grip is tight as he pulls her back against him at the same time that he pushes his hips forward, slamming in on each thrust with everything he’s got.
Hips hit against her ass each time, rocking right up against the quickly forming handprint there whenever their skin collides. The slight burn only intensifying the already overwhelming pleasure.
“So- ah- I’m so close” she manages to moan out in between all the gasps and pants, and without speaking Spencer reaches down to grab the straps at the back of her sports bra, using the leverage to pull her back up. Meeting her halfway he presses his chest right up against her back, one hand snaking around to loosely grip her throat. The other making its way down between her legs.
“Fuck- Spencer- I-” she gasps at his fingers start to run in small circles around her swollen clit, his hips continuing their motions at the same time. All of it building dangerously fast.
“What’s the matter? Too much for you Bunny?” he teases with a groan, right against her ear.
“No!” she rushes out, one of her hands bracing herself against the back of the sofa, the other draping itself loosely over his hand between her legs, encouraging but not interfering with its movements.
“That’s a good girl. Are you gonna cum all over my cock Bunny?”
She doesn’t have time to answer his question before she’s putty in his hands. Melting into his grip as he continues to move inside of her and against her. The only thing keeping her from falling to the ground is her loose grip on the edge of the sofa and Spencers hand around her neck as she moans out his name.
It’s only a few seconds later that his hips begin to stutter and both of his hands are on her hips again, pulling them tight against his own as he grows closer and closer. And then he’s cumming with a rough groan and a bunch of shallow breaths, filling her up entirely as she begins to slump against the sofa once again.
“Spence, fuck” she says with a deep breath, “That was unbelievable”
They’re both covered in a layer of sweat now, and Spencer can feel the hair that’s probably stuck to his forehead. In his exhausted state all he really wants to do is lay down against her back, gathering their breathing again. But he knows that’s just his cloudy mind talking. So he manages to loosen his grip on her hips and pull out slowly before rushing to the bathroom to get a warm washcloth.
He takes it and gently cleans the mess that he made between her legs before it gets the chance to drip down. Once she’s clean he helps her stand upright once again.
Although he’d come a long way with his self confidence there were still times like this where he let himself feel awkward, or unsure. Especially right after he’d just been so bold. But in times like this she knows exactly what to do. Rising up, she places her hands on either side of his face and kisses him, soft and gentle, just for a moment, before pulling back again to look at him.
“Shower?”
-- -- --
Thank you so much for reading x 
-- -- --
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865 notes · View notes
adorerdraco · 4 years ago
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I’m Here ✧ Draco x Reader
Request: Hi, so I’m not sure if you’re taking these kinds of fics for Draco, but I’ve been feeling really down lately, and I was wondering if you could write a one shot or a scenario where the reader has been having a really bad day/week and Draco comforts them? And maybe Draco lays the reader on his chest and he hums a small tune to make the reader feel better? You can ignore this if it’s an issue, but I’d really appreciate it. I love all of your fics btw! They make me really happy <3
Warnings: none bc mostly fluff, some tears, super soft!draco
Words: 1.9K
A/N: i saw this and had to do it effective immediately bc i am feeling the exact same wayyy so this was really nice to think about ;( thank you so much for requesting this and for reading my stuff and i’m so glad i can help in a way <3 i’m sending you nothing but peace, love, and light !!! but i really hope this is gooood <3 do not own gif
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Life was punishing you, you thought. It had to be. Because there was no way how in the span of a week everything in your day-to-day life had gone from okay to borderline catastrophic. It was as if every situation you were in was taking its form in the worst case possible scenario and all you could do was watch hopelessly as things continuously got worse sprinkled with small misfortunes in between.
It started on a regular Monday morning, sitting down for breakfast in the Great Hall with blissful ignorance. Halfway through eating your toast, your owl had come in through the open large glass windows and dropped a letter onto your plate from home that left you some very unfortunate news and had set forth a ripple effect that began making everything else go downhill as your days progressed. By the end of the school week, you had managed to blow up a potion, lose house points because of said potion when it splashed onto some people and had some physically altering effects, tripped over your footing and fell in the middle of a crowded corridor, failed a surprise quiz, forgot to turn in an essay, got into an argument with a friend, accidentally slept in and missed a morning class, and took a trip to the hospital wing for a migraine that didn’t want to leave you alone. You could’ve sworn you had somehow been thrown into purgatory, or limbo, or something outer-worldly. 
“Are you alright?” Draco had asked you right after breakfast that Monday morning as he was walking you to your first class. “What was in the letter your owl gave you? You look worried.”
“It was nothing,” you dismissed quickly, trying to put on a half-hearted smile while you spoke to make it more convincing. “I’m fine, just tired.”
It was the beginning of the week, and he did keep you up late the night before when you were sneaking around together, so he just shook his head up and down and took your excuse even though he felt like there was more to it than you were letting on. But as the days went on, he was becoming more observant of the way you were acting and even looking. He didn’t like that every morning he saw the shadows under your eyes get deeper and darker, and he didn’t like how you would close your eyes in pain when you would groan about your headache. He also didn’t like the way he hadn’t seen you truly smile or laugh all week even when he tried countless times to amuse you or cheer you up. But what he didn’t like most of all was that he felt like there was nothing he could do. 
On Wednesday afternoon, he tried asking you again. You were sitting in the Quad with him on a bench and he was telling you a story from earlier in the day about how he had ‘accidentally’ tripped this Gryffindor boy and got Snape to take away house points from him that he thought for sure would you make laugh or perhaps give him a disapproving redirection, but when he glanced up to see your reaction, he noticed you weren’t even listening, to begin with. You had been staring down at your shoes and the way they lined up against the cracks in the pavement, kicking around some gravel as your mind was running a million thoughts per second.
“Love?” He said to you softly. You looked up at him swiftly with a quiet questioning hum, e/c eyes widened slightly from being ripped away from your thoughts suddenly. “You know if something’s bothering you, you can talk to me.”
“I know,” you nodded warmly. “I’m okay, Dray. I’m honestly just tired.”
And you were telling the truth, in a sense. You really were tired; physically, mentally, emotionally.
He frowned, dissatisfied with your answer. “Right, well if anything at all comes up, I’m here.”
From then on, Draco took it upon himself to try and increase his affections and compliments. He would hug you a little tighter, kiss you a little longer, whisper sweet little nothings into your ear before he left you for class. You felt a little bad lying to him, withholding the truth from him, and you saw the concern in his light gray’s when you’d meet him in the mornings and for the rest of the day, but it only made you feel a tad bit worse. You were starting to feel guilty for the way he was worrying, feeling like you were dragging him down into the dumps with you and raining on his usual carefree parades.
On Friday morning, you didn’t meet him for breakfast and you were out of the Great Hall faster than he could catch you. He felt like a stalker when he walked by your class, peeking his head in to see if you were there and well. He spotted you sitting at your desk, hunched over your unopened books with a grimace on your face and your head in your hands. He wanted to go in and whisk you away to somewhere far and quiet, but the Professor had caught him by the door and sent him on his way before he could even think of doing anything of the sort.
You felt the day had gone by extremely slow, relative to how the week was moving and also impossibly dismal. You were counting down the minutes until the end of the school day, ready to run to your dorm right after your last class and bury yourself deep into your duvet and pillows for the rest of the weekend.
Head still pounding, you trudged over to your final class, stopping outside the doors when you saw a small group of your housemates standing around with unnerved expressions as they passed each other papers and spoke in hushed tensed tones.
“I studied all night but my friend took the test earlier and she told me during lunch that it had stuff on it that wasn’t even in the reading!” You heard one exclaim in distress.
“We have a test?” You accidentally said aloud and a pair of eyes turned to look at you confusingly.
“Yeah? Professor’s been telling us all week.”
A scoff of disbelief escaped your lips, an overwhelming sense of defeat washing over you as you turned briskly on your heel and in the opposite direction of your classroom. Tears started pricking at your eyes, you felt the stinging of them wanting to be released but you refused to let them all out in the open and especially in front of people who were still taking their time to head to their classes. 
You were making a beeline towards your common room, blinking rapidly to try and clear your vision that was quickly pooling with unshed tears while trying to steady your breathing in another failed attempt to calm yourself. You were nearly there, you could tell by the paintings and doors that you passed by and the black stain splattered on the floor you saw every day on your way to the dorms from someone’s dropped ink bottle that Filch hasn’t been able to get rid of. 
Almost there, you kept repeatedly reminding yourself.
All hope of solace was gone when you didn’t notice the body you had unknowingly crashed into. All you felt were strong hands around your biceps, holding you in place from toppling backward and the very familiar scent of expensive cologne and mint.
“Y/N? Why aren’t you in class?” You looked up at the platinum blond sadly, his worried eyes searching yours with such care that it pushed you over the edge.
You didn’t answer him and instead wrapped your arms tightly around Draco’s middle, burying your face deep into his robes and letting out quiet and frail weeps that broke his heart. He held you tightly, pressing kisses to the top of your head and muttering soft “I’m here’s” into your hair. You stayed in his embrace for a few minutes, letting your tears freely fall into his vest with a sense of relief that only he was able to give you at this point in time.
“I’m sorry I cried on you,” you choked out when you pulled away from him, desperately wiping away at your eyes with the back of your sleeve.
“You don’t ever have to apologize for that,” he said quickly. He brought his hand up to your face, his thumb swiping delicately over a stray tear that was sitting on your jaw while you closed your eyes in comfort. “Do you want to go back to my room? I can set you up really nicely and we can talk if you’d like?”
“Yes please, I’d like that a lot.”
Draco interlocked your fingers with his, bringing the pair up to his lips with a warm kiss on the back of your hand before walking the two of you over to the entrance of the Slytherin common room. It was empty when you walked in, not a soul in sight since everyone was still in class and it made it much easier for him to sneak you into his singular Prefect room you were now extremely grateful he had. He watched contently when you shed off your robes and kicked off your shoes and immediately slipped into one of his dark green jumpers that fit you big. 
You were perched on the edge of his bed, his scent from his sweater engulfing you and doing a much better job of calming you down than you wanted to admit. He followed in your footsteps and changed into something comfier and when he finally sat beside you with his hand falling over yours as an encouragement to talk - you did. You vented to him all about the letter from home, the migraine, your classes, the argument between you and your friend, and everything else that came to mind.
“And I feel bad for ignoring you and not telling you all this before but I didn’t want to burden you,” you finished with sniffles, gazing up at him with a gloomy expression. 
“Y/N, I love you, and nothing you say to me is a burden,” he frowned slightly, “when I tell you I’m here, I mean it, for anything. You’re so important to me and it kills me to see you upset.”
In a careful movement, he had scooted towards you and affectionately cupped your face before placing a loving kiss on your forehead and murmured to you, “don’t ever hesitate to come to me.”
You let him pull you under his covers, draping his large duvet over your entangled bodies with your head resting right above his chest, the steady beatings of his heart instantly sending you into a much-needed peace. His chin was rested right atop your head and you felt his fingers run up and down your arm soothingly while he thought.
“Is there anything else I can do to make you feel better?” He asked quietly.
“Can you help me fall asleep?” you muttered, closing your eyes gently when his hand smoothed over the back of your hair. You felt him nod against your head and after a small moment silence, you heard him begin to hum the faint tune of your favorite song.
You lied there in bliss, enjoying the way his chest was vibrating against your ear and the way his fingers were playing with the ends of your hair, curling the strands around his fingers and then moving upwards to massage your scalp. And for a minute, everything was finally okay again as you drifted off into a peaceful sleep, a full heart and with your love calmly lulling you away with a soft and now distant humming.
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smuggsy · 3 years ago
Note
i would love to see #11 for the prompt thing (just want to say i adore ur current ed/oswald/omc series btw im excited for more! <3)
owww, thank you so much <3 it's nice to hear ppl are actually enjoying it bc i've got almost no feedback. another chapter is coming soon (;
but now onto the whump below the cut. #11 “Please, let me help you.” 
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Getting used to his impaired vision is no easy task, he'll admit. Now that the doctor's made a thorough job of cleaning the wound and administering antibiotics to prevent infection and prescribed him two different kinds of painkillers and now that the initial shock of it all has passed. Now it downs on Oswald that this is who he's going to be from now on, that watching his step carefully when he goes down the stairs and bumping into walls that are closer than they seem is something he's going to have to get used to. 
As if walking around with a limp and a cane wasn't demeaning enough already. He lets out a grunt as he finally makes it to the kitchen, everything is sunk in darkness and he fails to turn on the lights two times before he finally finds the switch.
He sees the switch. He knows where it is. It's always been there, in that exact same spot, and he's walked into the kitchen in the middle of the night to fix himself some tea countless times before.
Now the switch has moved.
"Urrgh," he grunts one more time as he turns around and collides against the kitchen aisle. He nearly grabs one of the chairs and tosses it across the room, a sudden rush of adrenaline and fury coursing through his sleep-deprived mind.
There's a pang behind his eyepatch as if mocking his helplessness but he calms down soon enough, closing his good eye and taking a deep breath to brace himself against the counter. He manages to put the kettle on without any further incidents, but when he stands on his toes to reach the cabinet —how many times has he told Olga to keep that stupid tea-set at hand?!— he topples over and ends up sending two very nice cups to their deaths.
They crash on the floor with a piercing sound and Oswald startles and grits his teeth at the commotion. 
Deep breaths, deeeeeep breaths.
Choosing to ignore the incident he turns around to switch off the gas with trembling hands and pour the water into the one cup he did manage to obtain. 
Except, of course, his mind is still foggy from restless sleep and drugs so he misjudges the angle entirely and ends up pouring it all over his hand holding the teabag in place instead.
He lets out a yelp and drops the kettle instantly.
"Ow! Shit! Stupid little—!"
The water drips onto the floor unceremoniously as he tumbles over to reach the water tap and put his hand under it.
Ed barges into the place only half a minute later wielding a handgun, with hair sticking out and with his glasses askew. Oswald barely spares him a glance, blood boiling under his skin and dangerously close to the edge already.
"Oswald, what—"
"Nothing!" he blurts out almost immediately. Edward bearing witness to this mess is the last thing he needs right now, "just go away."
But, of course, he's Edward.
"What happened?" his friend asks, pistol forgotten on some nearby shelf and rushing over, words the slightest bit slurred by slumber and Oswald thinks lucky you, being able to get a wink of sleep, and takes another of those deep breaths that are doing a poor job of slowing down his heart rate. 
"What does it look like it happened, Ed?!"
Edward stares at him numbly and then his eyes dart around the place like he's only now taking it all in, seeing the shattered china on the floor and the pool of water by their feet. Immediately he brings both hands to Oswald's under the cold water from the tap and tugs at it.
"Let me see."
Oswald jerks him away.
"No— I'm fine!" he bites out, "go back to sleep."
Despite his ill-mannered humour, Edward doesn't move. Oswald doesn't look at him while he stands next to him in silence, letting the waters cool, clearly giving him a moment to backtrack on his request. And then, ever so softly, Ed's hands return, to his elbow this time. A touch too gentle it almost makes Oswald let out a whine — because he's tired, and aching, and sleepy and nothing turns out for him as of late.
"Please, let me help you."
His words are a caress in Oswald's ear. Barely there. Ed keeps his warm fingers on his arm and slowly brings the hand to his chest for inspection. Oswald lets him, this time. All energy seems to leave him with that puff of breath and he lets Ed guide him to one of those chairs he was contemplating taking all of his frustrations out on just a minute ago.
There's a slight hiss of sympathy.
"Should be alright with a little cream and a bandage," is Edward's assessment. 
Oswald rolls his eyes and fights down a sappy retort much like: yes, I know that, I'm not so incompetent that I need you here to issue an official diagnosis, just leave me to rage in peace. He nods tiredly instead, shoulders slumped and yawn unavoidable.
"I'll be right back," Ed says with a hoarse voice, moving around quickly despite his dishevelled appearance, looking perfectly awake now but sounding nothing like it. 
Oswald doesn't try to stop him. Because he knows it'll be a lost cause and because he's afraid if he starts poking too much at the situation he'll end up embarrassing himself and crying out his frustrations on Ed's shoulder.
Not ideal.
So he keeps silent instead, watching Ed's expert hands apply that cold salve on his knuckles and wrap his aching red-looking skin in a white bandage, giving up on not looking miserable because what's the point.
He is miserable.
"There, all done."
Ed pats him twice on the thigh as if comforting a hurting animal and Oswald can only offer a small scoff in return. He can smell Ed's shampoo from where he's standing so close and he keeps his eyes fixed on that loose crumpled white shirt he wears to sleep, afraid to look up into the gentle eyes he knows he'll find behind those glasses.
Because he might start blurting out stuff that shouldn't be blurt out if he does, as helpless and exhausted as he's beginning to feel.
"Now let's get you that cup of tea."
Ed turns around to make himself busy and Oswald takes the opportunity to scatter away.
"Where—"
"Sofa," he crooks out deadpan. 
That's where Ed finds him ten minutes later, staring at the unlit fireplace as if willing it to come to life on its own. Sitting on his usual spot with the lights off and a glassy look of resignation. 
"Chamomile," Ed says as he offers the steaming cup. Oswald doesn't have the heart to tell him he's changed his mind and would rather down a glass or two of that aged Scotch instead. He takes a sip without muttering out a word. Ed sits down just beside, clearly not taking the hint, "you're uncharacteristically quiet."
Oswald shrugs.
"Just tired," he offers, and then, only to put Ed's mind at ease, gives him a practised look of reassurance and a smile, "I didn't mean to wake you up."
Edward turns the attention back to him, ignoring the clear dismissal implicit in the words.
"Did you go to sleep at all?"
"Yes."
"Is your eye bothering you?"
And then the Oswald from the kitchen returns without a warning and he lashes out.
"Goodnight, Ed."
Edward goes to speak again but stops himself when Oswald sends him a sharp menacing look. He looks nothing short of a kicked puppy as he gets on his feet and turns around to leave.
And then he doesn't leave.
"I could start a fir—"
"Goddamn it, Ed! Just leave me alone!"
And just like that the fourth and last cup of that lovely set ceases to exist, turned into another pile of shattered porcelain on the floor. Because Edward Nygma is a pain in his fucking ass, and he doesn't know how to read an indirect and back down and just disappear. He pokes and pokes and pokes—
—and when Oswald turns to look at him with that murderous glare, he sees no reaction from him. Clearly, this was his intention all along, from the very first moment he walked into that kitchen, to see just how much he could take, to push until he broke, to make him talk about it.
Oswald should have learnt to read Edward Nygma by now. Should’ve seen it coming.
As Ed strides back to him with purpose and swiftly sits back down on the sofa and leans in to wrap him into an embrace, Oswald understands he definitely still hasn't learnt to read Edward Nygma. 
"What are you doing?" he pushes him away half-heartedly with his good hand. Edward doesn't let go, an unmovable brick wall that cannot be swayed.
"I'm hugging you."
"Let go—"
"No."
Oswald blinks. Then lets out a breathless laugh. He can't seem to fathom any other reaction to this — provided this is actually happening. Provided it isn't a secondary effect of being drugged up to his eyeballs for a whole week, now. 
He stops trying to tug Edward away and instead slumps against him, head resting on a slim shoulder and cold and runny nose poking Ed's neck as he keeps giggling at the unprecedented gesture. 
Edward's hug is implacable but awkward. He doesn't move, his broad hands against Oswald's back just pin him in place almost in a possessive fashion. He's clearly unskilled in the ways of physical reassurance.
Oswald realises those nervous giggles he's letting out are actually sobs.
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rosachaotic · 3 years ago
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Remember when i said Talbott and Cereza werent over? Yeah.
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I promised yall i would write a continuation of this. For those dont remember that happend, here
Anyways enjoy the fanfic!
Warning: none?? Its more just angst then fluff.(but sorry for my bad english and wording im not very good at writing and I wrote this on mobile)
It's been two months and few days since the big argument Talbott and Cereza had on the hospital wings.
This all happened because Cereza tried to do all the investigation and take down R by herself, but of course that plan failed and it backfired on her very badly. She fought the wizard in white and almost died because of it, losing her consciousness after he ran away, fortunately she was found by Moody who was searching for her after her twin brother said she went missing and was taken to the hospital wings.
She was scolded for it of course, and after that her friends went to visit her. All of her friends were worried for her, especially her twin brother Michael who jumped into her hugging her tight, crying, not realizing her whole body was in pain before he quickly let her go.
After a long chat with her friends and twin brother Talbott got in but he didn't look happy, he asked for everyone to leave him and Cereza alone because he wanted to talk to her, everyone left confused to what was going on.
Outside people could hear both Talbott and Cereza arguing with each other, Talbott was disappointed that Cereza lied to everyone including him about not having any information that could be useful for Circle ot Khanna and that she did is by herself he thought she was dead she could have died because of her reckless decision, Cereza tried to explain herself by saying she thought what she was doing was the right because she wanted to protect everyone which didn't make Talbott feel any less worse but the opposite. Both kept arguing with each other until Talbott storms out of hospital wings not looking at his friend's faces who were waiting outside, Penny tried to stop him but he just ignored her and walked away, once everyone back inside to the hospital they saw Cereza holding back her tears but she did a very job at it once everyone was inside and started crying.
----
Cereza rarely saw Talbott after what happened, she only saw him on the classes they shared but even then he didn't even talk to her, she decided to let it be not wanting to bother Talbott and she thought that this was the end of their relationship. This broke her alot, the happy girl that was always smiling and giggling all the time wasn't there anymore, not only she felt bad for what she did but she thought she lost one of the people she loved the most.
That was until Cereza got a letter in the morning, Andre gave it to her and said "It's from Talbott." She quickly opened the letter and read the paper that said:
"We need to talk. Meet me after dinner in the courtyard."
-Talbott
She thanked Andre for the letter who nodded and said "I hope everything works out for you guys." And left, Cereza also hoped that things would work out but she couldn't help but feel anxious about it. What did he want to talk about after dinner? Why did it have to wait?
"Does he want to end our relationship once and for all?" Cereza thought all day, Cereza knew how to be patient but this waiting was killing her.
During dinner she barely ate anything, Rowen(M!Rowan) was trying to make her eat something but she couldn't.
"You have to eat something, you can't sleep with an empty stomach." Said Rowen, worried for his best friend trying to make her eat. He knew about the letter, Cereza told him about it and he knew how nervous and anxious she was because of it.
"I can't, this wait is killing me.'' Cereza said anxiously.
She then looked around, noticing that Talbott wasn't at the ravenclaw table or at any table of the other houses.
"Did you see Talbott walk in?" Asked Cereza, still looking around, Rowen shook his head.
"No, I didn't, I don't think he is coming for dinner today." Rowen took a bite of his food as he said that.
"Why? Do you know about something??"
"No, no, but...Penny said she didn't see all day, he didn't go to any of his classes." Cereza felt her heart drop, this wasn't like him, he would NEVER miss any class, if there was something Talbott was proud of himself is that he was an excellent student.
"This isn't like him
" Whispered Cereza."I cant, i have to go."
"Wha- B-But dinner time isn't over yet!"
"I'm sorry Rowen, but I have to go."
"...Okay, good luck Cere!"
Cereza nodded and left the great hall running, she opened the big door to the corridor and rushed past the students to the courtyard.
As she got outside she looked around.
There he was, sitting on the tree trunk looking at the stars just like he would when he waited for her for their dates.. Cereza sighed with relief knowing that Talbott was okay...or was he?
She took a deep breath and walked toward him, stopping right before him.
"Hey
" Talbott jumped at hearing Cereza's voice, he was probably so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear her walk in.
"Oh, Sorry I didn't hear you coming in
" Said Talbott awkwardly.
"Its okay
"
"..."
"Penny said she didn't see you all day, you also didn't come for dinner as well."
"I felt sick all day and I wasn't hungry."
"Oh...I'm sorry, I hope you're better now."
Silence took over, the only sound they heard was the cold night wind, making things kinda awkward. Until Talbott coughed and said
"Sit here with me." He tapped right next to him, Cereza then climbed the tree trunk and sat right next to him.
Again, the awkward silence.
Cereza then looked at the sky, it was a pretty starry night, she could see some shooting stars.
" The night is beautiful tonight isn't it?" Asked Talbott, breaking the silence.
"Yeah. It is beautiful."
"It reminds me of when we used to have our dates here, you would make wishes for the shooting stars."
"Stupid wishes, I know." Cereza giggled at her own stupid self.
"I never thought they were stupid." Said Talbott.
"Even the one where I wished for a giant puffskein?"
Cereza shook her head smiling a little bit and she also noticed Talbott was smiling a little as well, she missed seeing him smile, but they weren't there to watch the stars.
"Hey, if that's your wish, who am i to judge?
"Talbott-"
"Yeah?"
"Listen, I-I know you said you wanted to talk to me in your letter, but I want to say something first." Said Cereza nervously, while staring at the floor.
"...Go ahead."
She took a deep breath and then looked at his warm striking hazel, who met her golden eyes. Then she finally said:
"...I'm sorry."
"...Wha-"
"I'm sorry for what I did, Talbott. It was very dumb of me try to all of that on my own and it was and it was insensitive and bad of me not to tell you guys the information I had about R."
"Cereza-"
"I should have trusted you all to defend yourselves without my help, I shouldn't have lied to you guys about not finding anything."
"Cereza listen-"
"I shouldn't have done that, I could have died and i didn't thought about how you, my family and the rest of our friends would feel about it if I died, you were right when you said things wouldn't get any better if I-"
"CEREZA!"
Cereza jumped at Talbott who raised his voice at her, he gripped her shoulders and made her look at him, his eyes staring at her but he didn't look angry he looked sad.
"Just...listen to me please."
Cereza nodded and whispered "sorry" and let him talk.
"Look...after what happened, i couldn't stop thinking about that night on hospital wings. That night kept playing in my head over and over every time I went to bed...I felt awful"
"Huh-"
"I felt awful, Cereza. After I calmed down I realized what I just did and how I shouldn't have talked to you that way, but it was too late, I was already at my dorm and I couldn't bring myself to come back."
"..."
"I was ashamed."
"Is that the reason why you were avoiding me?"
Talbott nodded, he took a deep breath as if was holding himself to not cry.
"I thought you hated me."
"..."
"So I avoided you and everyone else as well, it was painful."
"Tal I-"
"I should have thought of your feelings, how were you feeling that made you do all of that yourself."
"...You had all the rights to react the way you did, it was a stupid and dangerous decision that I made."
"But I still shouldn't have said those things to you."
"..."
"I let my emotions take over me, my heart dropped when I saw Moody carrying you to the hospital wings....blood all over you and you unconscious and i thought i lost you..."
"..."
"When i heard you were alive, I was so happy and relieved...but when i heard about why you did that when I heard Michael talking to Moody I...I dont know what came over me, i was angry and disappointed"
"...I know-"
"Not only on you, but mostly on myself"
"..W-why? Why were you angry at yourself??"
"Because I thought I failed you, I couldn't protect you, I couldn't be there for you."
"But it wasn't your fault-"
"Let me finish..."
"..."
"But that doesn't excuse what I did, i didnt think about what you were feeling, how you were feeling. Your feelings that made you do this and your feelings after it...I called you selfish but I was even more selfish
"
"Tal
"
Cereza's hand went to Talbott's cheek, who jumped at her touch but then rested his face on her hand holding her hand even more close to his face. He closed his eyes while he felt her warmth on his skin again after so long.
"I'm sorry Cereza, I'm sorry for what I did. I'm sorry for everything."
"I forgive you."
Talbott's eyes quickly opened as he looked at her, he was surprised but it also looked like a heavy weight was lifted off his shoulders. She continued:
"But...do you forgive me as well?"
"Of course I do."
Cereza also felt as if a heavy weight was lifted off her shoulders as well, she smiled as she felt tears run down her face and she had to take off her glasses to clean it.
"I-I thought...I thought you called me to end everything between us." Said Cereza as she cried while she tried to clean her tears off her face. She was shaking a little and her breath was also shaky.
"I would never do that." He whispered. "If anything, I was more afraid of you wanting to break up with me."
Talbott got closer to her and hugged tight on to his body, catching her by surprise.
Cereza returned the tight hug, smiling while tears rolled down her face, Talbott also had tears rolling down his face who tried to hide by hiding his face on her shoulder but his shaky breath and the way he sniffed quietly gave it away he was crying. Cereza's hand went to Talbott's hair and was caressing his hair.
"I thought I was going to lose you." Whispered Talbott, not wanting to let her go.
"I thought the same thing
" Cereza whispered back, kissing his head.
Both of them stopped hugging each other as they cleaned their faces but still kept close, Talbott's hand travelled to Cereza's face and caressed her cheek, his hand was cold as always but Cereza never cared about that, she liked his touch.
They both stared at each other, they both knew it was awkward the way they stared at each other but they did not care, their gazes were filled with intense love.
Talbott kept his hand on Cereza's cheek and kissed her other cheek gently but his face didn't move away, in fact he kept face very close to hers moving only a little to her lips, their noses were touching each other and they could feel their heavy breaths, Cereza closed her eyes as she felt her heartbeat go very fast and her face was red, Talbott heart also felt like it was going to jump from his mouth and even his ears were dark red. He brushed his nose on to hers but then kissed her nose, he caressed her cheek once more smiling, Cereza then opened her eyes and saw his smile and smiled back at him. Both of them giving loving smiles at each other.
"I love you." Said Talbott.
Cereza's hand went to Talbott's face and to his cheek as well, as she sighed and smiled again.
"I love you too, meu amor.'
Talbott's smile grew as he heard again the loving way Cereza called him using her first language, while they didn't have their first kiss yet what matters is that they were both together again.
"Just promise to me that you will be more careful." Said Talbott.
Cereza nodded.
"I will...but, do you promise to never leave my side?" Asked Cereza, Talbott chuckled and said:
"I promise, my sunshine."
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