#btw though if youre wondering what it takes to be an ally who goes to gay bars thats what it takes

[anotherpapercut]

my city has 2 gay bars. recently several people were attacked AGAIN at one of them :/

[miss-1ng]

btw, this was written and never finished i just thought i should post it cause why not! oh yes also crimson flower route spoilers i guess though major canon divergence too. I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO ADD THE READ MORE THING SO HERE WE ARE SORRY

She hears a scream.

So naturally, she reacts to it.

Reacting to something has taken so long before.

Flames whipping towards her faster than she can acknowledge them has never been such a prolonging experience. It feels like hours. It’s only been seconds.

She stretches her arms wide as she shoves Byleth out of the way.

The woman barely stumbles, just falls flat onto her back, and stares up at her with wide eyes. Wide eyes rapidly filling with tears.

She’s only ever seen Byleth cry once. It was that day, that one horrible day with the incident with Monica no, Kronya, where her father had taken his last breath to a dagger.

In the numb roaring from her ears, she wonders why exactly Byleth is crying.

The second heat licks her bare skin she realises what she’s done.

Edelgard’s throat feels tight. Too tight.

It was funny in a way. Funny in a bitter, cruel way. The esteemed Emperor of Adrestia, who has survived many wars, prevailed in hundreds of battles, toughened through blows from swords, spears, axes and bows, you name it, can’t survive flames so seemingly easy to avoid.

Something presses against her heart. It takes her seconds to realise it’s a hand. A soft shaking hand. She sees Byleth’s mouth move but no words seem to come out.

The roars in her ears shatter along with the surroundings.

“That was unimpressive.”

The voice startles Edelgard awake, and she’s unable to hold in the flinch when she’s greeted with darkness only pierced by a small green light.

Edelgard takes a staggering step forward. Her stomach hurdles when she glances beneath her feet, only to see pitch black darkness.

The strange voice continues. “At least I came to your rescue, even if you did interrupt my sleep.” A yawn. “Okay, come on over. How bad is everything? How far back do we need to go?”

“Who are you?” Edelgard demands. Her voice wavers but she tries to keep her voice strong.

A figure steps into the limelight, wearing an intricate dress of blues, reds and white. Long green hair swishes over a small and slim frame, though it doesn’t seem like it’s weighing the person down like it should.

“Oh, you must have hit your head.” She mock laughs. “Ha. Ha. Ha.” She claps slowly with each word. Green eyes lock with Edelgard’s. She blinks. “Oh.” She blinks again, then frowns. “You’re not Byleth.”

“Byleth?” Edelgard’s voice comes out in a growl, a shaky growl, but a growl no less. She glares at the girl in front of her. “Wh-what have you done to her?”

The girl looks affronted. Her eyebrows draw upward, and her jaw falls slightly agape. “Are you accusing me of doing something to Byleth?” she demands in a snappish tone. “Because all I have done is saved her. Many times.”

“But then-” Her voice cracks. “-then where is she?”

Her eyes sting with tears.

The girl sighs. She sits down on a throne which was non-existent until seconds ago, pulling her knees to her chest. “I don’t know.”

And here comes the tummel of questions making a ruckus in Edelgard’s head.

“What do you mean, you don’t know?” she cries, feeling tears streak down her cheeks. “What-what do you mean? Where is she? Where am I? Who are you? What-”

“Woah, woah, woah, when I say I don’t know…” The girl inhales sharply. “It means I actually don’t know. I have no idea where Byleth is. But we are-” She glances around. “Somewhere. But my name is Sothis.”

Something in Edelgard snaps. “Sothis?” she growls. “You’re the-the proclaimed ‘Goddess’?”

The girl – Sothis – pinches the bridge of her nose. “Oh, so you’re the girl Byleth yammers on non-stop about.”

She pauses. “What?”

“Byleth has told me about you. About how your goal to eliminate the church, therefore eliminating all belief in the Goddess, AKA me.” She pauses before adding “She’s also spoken very highly of you. You’re important to her.”

Her throat clenches. She feels tears well in her eyes.

She’s important to me too.

“Is that so?” Sothis tuts, pursing her lips.

Edelgard flinches. She takes a wary step back “I said nothing,” she says, even if it’s more like she’s convincing herself than Sothis.

Sothis laughs. She actually laughs, even though it’s more of a delighted giggle. “Oh, you have so much to learn!” She’s wearing a carefree smile, nothing like her sleepy, disoriented gaze from only seconds ago.

“Where are we?” Edelgard repeats. She’s slowly gaining her bearings. “What happened?”

Sothis groans, dragging a hand down her face. “You died,” Sothis tells her. “You died against that dragon by protecting Byleth.”

The reality hits her like a slap to the face. It stings. “I… died?”

“Are you really this thick-skulled?” the Goddess snaps, slapping her hands down on the sides of the throne, to which a resounding smack echoes through the dark area. “You died. You’re dead. Dead. Dead. Dead! Yet I have no idea why you’re here now and Byleth isn’t.”

“Byleth’s… has she come here? Byleth knows you.”

The look Sothis sends her is terrifying, even without words to accompany it.

Byleth.

Her eyes sting again, though she makes no move to wipe the tears off her cheeks.

“You seem to not know much,” Sothis muses. “Would you like a reminder of the battle?”

Before Edelgard can say a word, Sothis clicks her fingers and Edelgard is staggering through a road with flaming buildings on either side.

She stares ahead, vision blurring as she tries to make sense of this situation. Her back presses against the wall without her knowledge and she feels something squeeze her hand.

Dorothea looks down at her, smiling nervously, yet she’s still smiling. Her hand holds Edelgard’s, and she squeezes it once more. “This’ll be fine,” she murmurs. It’s almost like she’s trying to convince herself more than she’s trying to convince Edelgard.

She doesn’t recall this from the battle. She doesn’t recall walking down these paths, ever the same despite the minor differences. She doesn’t recall Dorothea clutching her hand, because no, Byleth was the one clutching hers as they sliced through their enemies and approached Rhea.

A squeaky “Y-yes, it will” slips out of her mouth.

Dorothea walks a few steps forward and Edelgard follows and holds a bow out, squinting at the Demonic Beast snarling at nothing in particular.

The thing is she’s using a bow. She doesn’t even think she’s touched one before.

Empty red eyes suddenly lock with hers and she feels herself flinch and yelp. The arrow flings out of her grip, barely skimming the Demonic Beast’s scales.

The Demonic Beast stomps forward, whipping it’s tale back and forth when Dorothea lunges in front and blasts a Thoron at it.

The creature takes the blow, and Edelgard uses that as a chance to use her bow again.

Why am I using a bow?

That question remains unanswered as she launches another arrow at it. This time it hit’s the Demonic Beast’s forehead. She feels euphoric for a little moment. Almost smiles. Doesn’t. Especially as it’s tail swings around, so fast neither of them can avoid it and knocks Dorothea over some broken picket fences to some Church Soldiers and Edelgard into a crumbling building.

A brick falls and slams against her arm.

The bow snaps into pieces. The brick crushes her arm. Edelgard screams, something so shrill it can’t possibly belong to her.

“Bernie!” Dorothea cries. Edelgard freezes questioning the name of her ally, her friend before another brick clatters down, landing inches away from her face. While her head whips to Edelgard, a spear pierces through her stomach and her head lolls back, blood spitting out of her mouth. “B…ern…”

Dorothea. Edelgard cries out, though by the looks of it Bernadetta is too. Dorothea gone. Dorothea who didn’t care about anyone’s differences. Dorothea who treated every member of the Black Eagles as equals. Dorothea who comforted everyone in times of need. Dorothea who was a beautiful, beloved, and kind-hearted soul who did not deserve to fight in a war she didn’t even belong in.

“What will you do, when the war is finished?” Edelgard had asked one particularly sunny day whilst the two were having tea.

Dorothea had smiled, green eyes full of something so sweet it warmed Edelgard’s heart. It was always a pleasure to see her friend, so awfully affected by war, smiling so happily. “I’d like to return to the opera, I guess,” she had replied, her lips quirking up. “Though I’ll see where my life takes me.”

Her body goes limp.

Another two bricks fall down, and Edelgard’s vision turns dark before she wakes up again nearby Caspar and Lysithea, the two shielding her and fending off the opposing soldiers.

In the distance she can see Catherine, holding Thunderbrand out and staring down at the three with an amused grin tugging at her lips. The sight is sickening. Edelgard holds her hands out, fixing up a gash on Caspar’s upper arm while he takes a breather against the enemies. The wound slowly fixes itself up.

Lysithea uses a Dark Spikes.

Then Caspar goes back to swinging his axe.

Stunned, Edelgard feels herself stare at her hands. She’d never learnt healing spells before. …Why did she know them now?

Catherine runs forward to the three of them suddenly, when Lysithea finishes off the last Church soldier in the area they’re in.

Caspar barely avoids the hit. Lysithea makes a noise slightly resembling the squeak of a mouse (Mice, running around her while she’s caged in her cell) and Edelgard finds herself slowly backing onto a healing tile.

Catherine and Caspar are fighting, newly donned gauntlets against a heroes relic. Lysithea from behind blasts spell after spell at Catherine, obviously exhausted but the girl is not letting up. Edelgard admires her for that. She’s always admired Lysithea, and her relentlessness to not let her younger age get the best of her.

She’s damn powerful as well.

Everything seems to be good. Everything seems to be fine.

Edelgard takes a deep breath in. Then everything goes to hell.

Caspar gets stabbed in the arm with Thunderbrand. He cries out, staggering back and losing his focus on Catherine. Edelgard cries out too, reaching out to try and use Psychic but it’s no use since Caspar gets stabbed again and again.

A scream of rage comes from Lysithea, and just before she finishes the final blow, the young woman uses a critical Dark Spikes which hits Catherine with perfect accuracy. The knight falls down. Thunderbrand falls out of her hand.

“Caspar,” Edelgard finds herself sobbing, though her voice isn’t actually hers. She sounds like Linhardt. “Caspar, please, Cas-”

A hand touches Edelgard’s (Linhardt, she reminds herself, not that it will do much) and Caspar looks up, smiling dumbly. “I got to fight her,” he croaks. “I…I won too.”

Blood pours from his wounds, the stabs scattered around his body. Edelgard feels the sudden urge to throw up. She holds the bile in. Tears are streaming down her face as she clutches Caspar’s body, pulling him to her chest.

“Caspar…” she repeats, not that her words will do much. “Cas-aspar, I-”

“Shh, Lin.” He reaches up to press a finger against her lips, silencing her. He opens his mouth to speak but his eyes suddenly stare at her unblinkingly. He’s limp in her hold.

“Linhardt…” Lysithea starts to say, reaching forward but Edelgard stands up, still gripping onto Caspar despite how much her arms are trembling under his weight.

She sobs and hates how raw she (Linhardt) sounds right now. Linhardt shouldn’t deserve this. Linhardt who already had so many struggles piled upon the other. Linhardt who needs Caspar, and Caspar who needed Linhardt.

It hurts even more now that she realises the real reason Caspar wasn’t there when Linhardt and Lysithea met up with them, only to meet their immediate downfall after stumbling dazedly too close to Rhea.

Her vision twists and she’s now stumbling along with Hubert, stabbing at each enemy who crosses them with her lance. Behind her she sees Petra, struggling with another Demonic Beast, despite each blast Hubert hits it with.

A claw slices her chest open, and she screams, the sound resonating through Fhirdiad.

She turns back, launching her horse towards the Demonic Beast and digging his lance into a small spot of bare skin where the scales of it didn’t cover.

The Demonic Beast makes a ghastly sound before falling to it’s end.

“Ferdinand!” Hubert yells. “What are you-”

His words are silenced so quickly it’s deafening. His mouth falls agape as a lance finds it’s way through his middle.

Edelgard cries out his name. She sounds so heartbroken it makes her want to burst into tears all over again. Hubert deserved more.

No, she thinks with clenched teeth as she directs her horse towards Hubert’s attacker. They all deserved more. So much more than being swept up by me into this godawful war.

She hates herself for this. She’s never hated herself so much before.

She ends up stabbing at Hubert’s attacker, stabbing again and again until her vision is blurred with blood, sweat and tears. Blood, sweat and tears. Fitting, if not for the situation. Fitting if not for the-

Everything goes black. Once more.

Edelgard opens her eyes to darkness. She’s kneeling on the floor, sobbing, and wailing as the images of her allies, her friends getting murdered in front of her.

“Oh don’t cry,” Sothis soothes, but her sympathy doesn’t seem like real sympathy. “There’s nothing you can do about it now.”

Edelgard staggers up, swaying on her feet, and wipes the tears from her face. She glares angrily at Sothis. But her next words come out in a quiet whisper.

“What happened to Byleth?”

Byleth, who I need, and who I love.

Sothis pauses. Silence hangs in the room like the tension, and it’s only broken when she replies in a broken little whisper “I don’t know.”

Mint green eyes matching mint green hair.

A small smile barely noticeable but still there.

Deadpanning whenever Edelgard makes a joke.

Hugging her, hugging them. Comforting them all.

Her obsession with fishing she never seemed to get over.

Her love for fish that could rival Flayn’s.

Her scream, haunting Edelgard for five years.

“This is going to be a problem,” Sothis mutters. “Your thoughts are solely Byleth-centric. Is there anything else that goes in that strange little mind of yours?” She waves her hand in Edelgard’s general direction in emphasis.

“How long must I stay here for?” Edelgard sighs.

There’s a brighter glint in Sothis’ eyes. Her lips quirk up. “Not too much longer as it seems!” she exclaims, clapping her hands together and standing up. The action reminds Edelgard of when she was a child. Young. Carefree. Innocent.

Oblivious to the blatant cruelness the world harboured.

“El…” A whisper. “El, I know I’m bad with words, but I need you to know you can talk to me.”

Hands clutching hers. A squeeze. Locking eyes.

“My teacher, I…” Averting gaze. Letting go of warm hands. “Now is not the time.”

“It’s always the time if you need help.”

A smile, an obvious façade that doesn’t sell as well as Claude’s ones did. Trembling fingers. Warmth dispersing from memory.

“I am fine. Though I thank you, for taking the time to see if I am okay. I appreciate it.”

Why didn’t she just hold on a little longer?

how was that y’all? hope it wasn’t too long and angsty hahaha

[jq37]

The Case File – Mice and Murder Ep 1

The Case of the The Pernicious Party  

Hello, hello, hello! It’s been a hot second but your resident D20 recapper is back to tackle the newest season: Mice and Murder! Y’all had to know I wasn’t gonna sit out the murder mystery, are you kidding me???

I might be playing around with the format a bit in the coming weeks to make sure I have the best possible system for keeping track of possible clues, suspects, and theories as we untangle whatever web Brennan weaves for us this season so don’t be surprised if things change a little. 

Anyway, without further ado, onto our mystery!

Summary

In case you missed it, this season takes place in an alternate, Zootopia/Wind in the Willows-esque universe where all the characters are animals but history seems to have happened in more or less the same way--for example there was still a King Charles but he was a King Charles Spaniel (cute Brennan). Our story specifically takes place in the English village of Tufting Meadows.  

We start with Katie’s character--Gangie Green (Weasel/Thief Rogue) in the graveyard of the Anglican Chapel (Our Lady of Prayerful Paws). Gangie, we learn, is an orphan who was kicked out of the orphanage at some point for thievery. Obviously, he’s not reformed of the habit because he is here to do some graverobbing. On a nat 20 (that Katie hilariously doesn’t notice even though her total is like a 29) Gangie can see through the window of the rectory that there is a weeping window inside--Catherine McCabbage who is being (dubiously) tended to by Raph’s character, Vicar Ian Prescott (Owl/Bard, College of Eloquence). 

Ian comes from a line of men of the cloth but he’s not exactly the best speaker despite his subclass. He’s doing his best though! The widow’s husband (Conor McCabbage) died at the local mill in what has been declared an accident but she suspects foul play. She’s been hearing his voice on the wind and wants Ian’s professional opinion on whether this could be a sign from God or if her husband might be speaking to her from beyond the grave or something like that. Ian gives a very muddled and not very comforting answer but seems pretty sure that something sketchy did in fact happen. Then, he sees a crack of lightning outside which illuminates the graveyard where he gets a glimpse of Gangie. 

He goes to check it out (and Gangie fully has an elderly goat he’s dug up slung over his shoulder) but “gravedigger” is his legit job so Ian decides to assume whatever’s going on is legit and not ask too many questions. He goes back to the widow (who, before she leaves, says that maybe sometimes people need to work on God’s behalf) while Gangie takes the body Loam Hall (a massive manor, built into a hill).

We cut to the next day and our next two characters! 

At 22B Hamsted Street in a pretty well appointed home are Ally and Grant’s characters. First up, we have Lars Vandenchomp (Huge ass Doberman/Battlemaster Fighter) who is so tough looking but also so Swedish sounding--it’s A Lot (so, incredibly on brand for Ally). Lars is security for Grant’s character Sylvester Cross (Fox/Inquisitive Rogue) who is a kinda (to use Grant’s word) “foppish” Sherlock Holmes type. He was hired by Squire William Thornwall Brockhollow to figure out what happened with Conor McCabbage (and clear him of negligence in running the mill) but he couldn’t find any evidence of any funny business, making this the only case he’s never cracked. He’s not as young or popular as he once was so this is, understandably, bumming him out. He’s even more bummed out when he realizes that William has invited him to his 60th birthday party that’s happening that night (as kind of a prop to show that he did his part in trying to solve the mystery) and Lars has already RSVP’d yes. He grudgingly agrees to go as it’s one of those asks that’s really more of a veiled demand but decides to pull the money he was paid from the bank first so he can return it and really stick it to the guy.

Finally, we cut to our last set of PCs who are on their way to Tufting Meadows via a very luxurious train. Inside are Sam and Rekha’s characters! Sam is Buckster $ Boyd (Peccary which is like a small boar/Mastermind Rouge) a Texan Oil Tycoon who acts exactly how you’d expect a Texan Oil Pig to act. Yes, you pronounce the dollar sign as “dollar sign” (even though as we find out later his middle name is Cassius so it’s like Cash which I think is super cool). With him is Rekha’s character, Daisy D'umpstaire (Raccoon/Assassin (???) Rogue another American (from South Carolina) though it seems she’s My Fair Lady’d herself into an upper class socialite (her last name was previously Dumpster). They’re traveling with their accountant, an Armadillo named Armond who seems kinda skittish and concerned about their travel expenses but Buck tells him that to make money you gotta spend money and they’re gonna make a *ton* of money on this trip. They’re also so so mean to him for absolutely no reason. 

When the train stops, they’re greeted by Templeton Padhop (a frog, natch) who is the chauffeur of Loan Hall, sent to fetch them. A wheel on his car is broken so he joins in on the Armond abuse immediately and has Armond roll into an Armadillo ball and replace it. Poor guy. When they show up they're greeted by a footman--a pug in a bowler hat named Milo Snout.

Meanwhile, Lars and Sly (Oh, Sly fox, I see what you did there Grant) are similarly greeted by another footman--a lizard named Basil Baskins. On a 23 perception check, Lars sees that Jeremy “Jez” Brockhollow is inside (the son of William who is a badger btw) and also clocks Gangie (who they know as a career criminal who disappeared like a year ago). Gangie doesn’t notice Lars though. 

Ian, who is also invited, shows up at about the same time as Sly but very quickly, the conversation is taken over by Lucretia “Lucy” Brockhollow, William’s older, eccentric sister who immediately gets into it with Lars about astrology and the occult (she thinks bad stuff is happening because of a curse let loose when Sly’s old rival--a rabbit named Fletcher Cottonbottom who is the son of his former employer--opened an Egyptian tomb). They’re thick as thieves right away because Ally is a nonsense magnet. And not like a regular magnet, one of those big electromagnets. 

Daisy and Buck spot William’s kids--the aforementioned Jez and his older sister Constance--along with their husbands Dr. Corbin Magpie (Constance’s and obv a magpie and a doctor) and Osmond Sheffield (Jez’s who is a Ram and a lawyer). Daisy is too stuck in her conversation with a truly unhinged squirrel (Lady Eugenia Bristlebrush who clearly does not know she’s in a murder mystery because she just keeps talking about how much she hates and wants to kill everyone) to hear what’s going on but she indicates the conversation to Buck who is able to eavesdrop and hear that they’re lamenting that Catherine--the widow--RSVP’d no which is gonna look really bad, like they didn’t invite her (bad PR). 

Buck, introducing himself as a business partner of William, eases into a conversation with the husbands which their respective spouses also join into and we learn that Buck's dad was British and a friend of Willian’s. Buck bonds with Jez (who is a bit of a dilettante) really quickly since Buck is ready to go drinks-wise immediately (and there’s a stellar pun about the “American [Drinking] Constitution''). Through the window, Buck notices Gangie outside getting his attention. 

At the same time, Ian is going from party guest to party guest, giving out the penances he forgot to earlier at church (as one does). We see him talking to the Lord and Lady Bramble (a cow and hedgehog, respectively) and while she wants to pray her way out of situations without doing any legwork, he wants to buy his way out and gives Ian 250 pounds. A frustrating but financially lucrative conversation.  

Buck goes outside to talk to Gangie who has a list of names of the bodies he’s been collecting. We’re not told what Buck is doing but it seems that this list is extremely valuable to him in some way. Gangie (who Buck keeps calling Gangly, to his annoyance) pays him handsomely (like, with a 50% tip) for the list (and Gangie gives him the real list, despite Brennan saying he didn’t have to). We also learn that Gangie has allegedly been getting the orders from someone in Loa Hall and they flow from William himself.

Matilda Molesly (a mole and the head maid) invites Gangie to come in from the rain--she’s the only person who’s been consistently nice to him and he agrees to come in for tea and scones. 

Everyone is ushered together by the butler (because of course there’s a butler--he’s quite literally a fancy rat named Thomas Gilfoyle) and William gives a speech where he wishes Conor well and kinda highlights that he did hire Sly to solve the case in a “Hey, I did my bit don’t blame me” kind of way. He also makes a 150k pound donation to the church (and Ian thought 250 was good) and tells his daughter not to read the praise he got for it from the cardinal when she mentions it (I wonder if that was choreographed). Sly interrupts the speech to “magnanimously” give his money back, to William’s annoyance. Buck notices that Lawrence Longfoot (a nouveau rich, rabbit photographer) takes a pic of the scene but with Sly in the foreground and William in the background. 

Then, a few things happen at once (in a very cinematic way):

As the camera flashes, Mrs. Molesly drops her tray, eyes hurt by the light. Lady Calliope Fawnbrooke (Deer, Matron of the Arts) helps her up.

In the moment of dark, after the flash goes away, the butler disappears. 

Buck thinks he sees a shape through the window, out in the rain. 

A cheer goes up for Sly for returning the money but all Sly can focus on is one figure he recognizes in the back of the room. Daisy, who is downing her drink and not cheering for him. He downs his as well, and looks at her until she breaks the stare and leaves the room. 

And this episode doesn’t end with a dead body like I thought, but with a flashback to a younger Sylvester, 12 years ago when he first met Daisy.

PC INTERPERSONAL DRAMA Y’ALL!!! Get HYPED! 

Case Notes

Here is a compilation of all the characters (PCs and NPCs introduced in this episode). 

Sly mentions that Ignatius Cottonbottom faked his own death as a part of some scheme which seems like a backstory point that might come back later--we now know that there exists a way to convincingly fake your own death in this world. 

Sly walks with a walking stick because of some “mysterious accident” but we’re jumping into a flashback next week so it looks like we might find out about it pretty soon. 

Sly also mentions he used to be the personal physician to the elder Cottonbottom so those are skills he has. I wonder if that’ll be useful to this healer-less party. I wonder if cleric was even an option in this world which seems to be low to no magic. It would explain by Ian is a bad and not a cleric. 

Lars has a military background which I wanted to mention in case it becomes relevant later. 

And Dr. Magpie grew up poor and still acts it a bit even though he married a very rich woman. Brennan uses the very good line, “He forces his body into the shape of an apology”

This might be a really deep cut reference but did anyone else here was the old Britcom “Keeping Up Appearances”? Cause I was getting serious Bouquet/Bucket energy from Daisy. 

This is an all College Humor season and it shows. The energy of 6 (7 if you count Brennan) top notch comedians sparking off of each other, trying to one up each other is off the charts. Some of the best bits this episode:

“When God closes every door but one, you go through the door that is open.” followed by “I’m an owl by the way.”

“Time is money, here’s both” from Buck re his inscribed gold pocket watch--everyone at the table loved that so much and they’re right. 

Armond going from being a third to a fourth wheel. 

And the names--I already shouted out a ton on the main recap but also a rat butler (like Rhett Butler) and naming the mouse Cat(therine). Can’t forget Gangie Green/gangrene from Katie. Also points to Ally for the data stealing Eel Musk which broke Brennan a little. 

I know we just went through this with Crown of Candy but what are these animals eating? Like, in Zootopia there were only mammals so we can assume the carnivores are eating like birds and fish but there are sentient birds here. I know this isn’t important. I’m not trying to do a CinemaSins gotcha. I just wonder, you know?

Y’all were waiting for all the lights to go out during that speech and then come back on and there’d be a body too, right?

If Brennan makes the bad guy a chicken or a duck or something so he can make a “fowl play” joke, he is cordially invited to catch these hands. 

I have been waiting for Raph and Katie to do D20 forever. Their specific brand of nonsense on Rank Room was always amazing. 

I love love love that Grant and Rekha are the PCs that have ~a past~ because they are so funny together. If you haven’t seen their episode of Game Changers, you absolutely must (it’s also a murder mystery actually!). 

[sarahjtv]

BNHA Chapter 316 Quick Analysis: I’m Legit Worried About Deku, Guys...

Chapter 316 is out and it’s called “Your Turn”.  Oh, the parallels; you love to see them.  While I was here loving Shoto’s provisional Hero debut in the anime this week (God, I love him 💙), Deku was getting blown up at again!  All For One is one of those villains who’s incredibly written and you still want to punch him in the face.  I also don’t like how reckless Deku’s being right now.  He needs therapy now:

So far, Lady Nagant’s still alive.  She managed to tell Deku and the others about where AFO probably is, but of course it was all a trap set by AFO.  Thankfully, Nagant’s heroic heart manages to recognize the shine in both Hawks’ and Deku’s eyes despite everything they’ve gone through.  She can still see the good in heroes.  I hope this is enough to redeem herself back into the Pro Hero she was before.  Again, I think she would be a great ally to Deku.  Also some extra revenge towards AFO is nice.

Hawks is so damn good, guys.  Despite everything he’s been put through, he still manages to be an optimist.  It takes a lot of strength to do that.  Maybe he and Nagant could team up one day once his tiny wings grow back again.   Seeing him frantically flap his little wings was kinda funny ngl LOL 😂

There’s a small panel where Lady Nagant says that AFO told others to capture Deku too.  So, there’s Lady Nagant and I think Muscular?  I wonder who else he sent to get Deku?  Stain maybe?  A Nomu?  Maybe one of the LOV?  I’m trying to think of who else.  Since this is the Final Act, it probably has to be some old villain who has a vendetta against Deku.  Or a cool new villain like Lady Nagant would be good too.

Speaking of Villains, Overhaul has been captured!  And Deku finally gets the chance to talk to him.  Deku wonders if Overhaul has thought about the horrible things he did to Eri.  Overhaul doesn’t really show much remorse towards Eri here; he’s seeing her as a solution to his problem.  I like how Deku’s handling this btw.  He’s not going to try to talk Overhaul into going to the good side like I thought.  He remembers what Eri went through and coldly asks if Overhaul feels anything remotely related to guilt.  Overhaul doesn’t need any sympathy.

But, Deku being the good boy he is, offers to fulfill Lady Nagant’s promise to Overhaul if he genuinely feels sorry for what he did to Eri.  Now, I don’t think that Overhaul should see Eri just to apologize.  I think Eri should be kept away from that bastard forever.  But, I do think he should show some sort of guilt towards her.  Genuine guilt.  It won’t change what he did of course.  I hope Deku knows what he’s doing.

And, Overhaul didn’t heal Lady Nagant like I thought.  She’s getting medical aid instead.  Which neither confirms or denies that Overhaul still has his Quirk.  I believe what the Ultra Analysis says that he still does have his Quirk somewhere in him.  It would’ve been good to see Overhaul heal Lady Nagant through.  Seriously, Overhaul could’ve been an amazing Doctor or Pro Hero healer if he weren’t such a scumbag.

And here’s where my worry for Deku increases tenfold.  After seeing Lady Nagant’s charred body, there’s a panel where his eyes are filled with rage.  He is so pissed off!  Dude looks ready to commit murder.  He recklessly goes after AFO in his supposed hideout.  Thankfully the other pro heroes (including Edgeshot, Mt. Lady, and Kamui Woods) are behind him, but even Endeavor’s warning Deku to stop being reckless.  Deku ignores him though.   Deku doesn’t even talk for the rest of the chapter.  He’s just filled with anger and rage.  I’m so scared that this is all going to backfire on him so badly.  But, maybe that will finally convince him to get some help.  Not from a therapist per say (maybe after everything calms down), but from his friends.  Based on an interview from Horikoshi they will come back.  Not sure when, but they will be there.  I still want that talk between Deku and Shoto and Bakugo.  Shoto needs an explanation and Bakugo just needs to talk to Deku in general.  

Finally, there’s AFO.  He’s changed his focus from All Might to Deku now. And now it’s Deku’s turn.  What a freaking twist on that hopeful saying All Might said to Deku back in Kamino Ward.  God, I hate AFO so much.  He’s such a good villain though.  So, he blows up the entire house Deku and co. entered.  Guy loves explosions just as much as Bakugo.  

We shown if Deku and co. got out of the blast, but I want to say they did.  There’s a constant ticking noise during AFO’s monologue leading up the the blast so someone had to know.  Also, you would think Deku’s Danger Sense would go off.  Maybe it did and we didn’t see it.  There was one panel that looked like Deku was activating OFA to escape, but it might just be Deku’s outline against the black background.  Regardless, I think everyone will be fine.  A little more crispy, but fine.  

Me seeing Deku’s mentaity go downhill even more:

[bnhabadass]

When I started this blog last September my goal was to get 500 followers. I saw some of the bigger blogs that I looked up to so much, and still look up to, and figured that my writing would never be as popular or as good as theirs. And even though my writing and my blog is still not on their level of popularity, I never imagined to have this big a following under my belt.

I have made so many friends because of this blog. I have met so many talented people who have inspired me to keep writing and to experiment with different elements of creative writing that I was not comfortable working with before.

I think we all know at this point that I am not the best with the follower milestone events I do, so instead of doing one of those I decided to make you all a mixtape. These are some of my favorite stories from some of the wonderful people I have met during my first year on this blog. This was also not an original idea btw. I’ve seen a couple other blogs do this and thought it was a cute idea so don’t give me full credit!

*** = NSFW

@myherowritings -- Fever Talk

Sof, the main reason why I have made so many unforgettable friends. From her wacky discord server where I’ve had way too many conversations about the different variants of urine to the hilarious social media aus I look forward to reading and rereading after stressful days at work or school, Sof has been there for me in difficult times, both in person and in writing. It is an honor to be her friend and to have the pleasure of talking to her every day.

Fever Talk is one of my favorite Bakugo x Reader pieces of hers. When Bakugo comes down with an aggressive illness, you, his manager, have to take care of him. It’s goofy and fluffy all in one, and it brings a smile to my face every time I read it.

@kazooli -- I’ll Be Gentile***

It’s no secret that I am a Dabi fucker through and through. Kaz’s stories always seem to bring out the dirtiest sides of me and this piece is no exception. When the rest of the LoV discovers you are a virgin, Dabi decides that he wants to help fix that.

@jojosmilktea -- I’m Not Your Fangirl

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Jojo has one of the prettiest and most creative looking blogs I have ever seen. I am an absolute sucker for soulmate aus and this piece is one of the most creative I’ve seen. When you find out that Bakugo is your soulmate, you try your best to convince him that you are in fact his soulmate rather than another one of his fangirls.

@candychronicles -- I’m Your Guy, Always

Candy has been one of the most supportive people I’ve met. She always knows what to say and how to cheer someone up when they’re feeling down. This is such a cute comfort piece for anyone who is feeling down after a breakup. After reading this piece all I wanted was for Kirishima to cuddle me and let me cry into his chest.

@hisoknen -- Chef Boyardon’t***

Raph is one of the coolest people I have met! She is so sweet and I can always rely on her to tag me in picrew challenges. This piece of writing is Hawks in a nutshell. When he takes you out on your first date ever, everything goes perfect until things start to get a little steamy between the two of you.

@ambershaydeoffical -- Lockets, Dolls, and Long Time Pining

Amber was one of the first people I met in the BNHA Sanctuary server. She is one of the sweetest and most supportive people I know. Momo is one of my favorite characters and I never see fluffy fics about her. This piece is very comforting and fills all of my Yaoyorozu needs.

@cutesuki--bakugou -- Anything***

While I don’t know Sarah as well as I would like to, Anything is probably my all time favorite Bakugo piece. I lost track of how many times I’ve read it. I am a sucker for punk rock and piercings, and this piece fulfills some of my wildest sex fantasies. When you sneak into Bakugo’s dressing room backstage after a concert, how will he punish you?

@burnedbyshoto -- Glistened in the Light

Lyssa has been following and supporting me since I was at 50 followers. She’s one of the OG badasses. Glistened in the Light is one of my favorite fluffy Aizawa stories. If my profile pic doesn’t give this away immediately, Aizawa is such a big comfort character for me, and whenever I’m having a bad day I know I can always come back to this piece and feel Aizawa holding me in his arms.

@lady-bakuhoe -- Caught***

Even though Jo is no longer writing, her stories still bring me so much joy. Not only does this piece include three of my favorite characters, but it’s so well written that I could practically feel everything that was going on in the story. Have you ever wanted to know what happens when Shinsou finds two of his classmates stealing his girlfriend’s panties? Well then this piece is definitely for you.

@queensynderella -- Class is in Session***

Allie is one of the coolest people I have ever met. She writes Shinsou like no other and this piece is no exception. What does Aizawa do when he finds you and Shinsou fooling around between classes? I have read this piece so many times and it never fails to get me going.

There are so many incredible writers on this platform and there are so so many people who have supported me throughout my Tumblr writing career. If I went on with everyone’s stories this post would get way too long, so instead here are all the other people I have met through Tumblr and Discord whose blogs you should definitely check out and also other people who’s blogs I just love!

@bnha-violetnote @mhathotfic @ttamaki @lemonlordleah-shinzawa-kitten @kingtamakimurder @kingexpl0sionmurder @gallickingun @cellotonin @antigenius @tamasoft @justabstractthings​ @lesbian-peanut-writer​ @simpingh0e​ @bratwritings​ @pixxiesdust​ @tomurasprincess​ @sea-reader​ / @sea-writer​ @bokutokotaruwu​ @shoutodoki​ @therainroguefanfiction​ @lizardthewriter​ @smol-enby​ @bluewritesmha​ @out-of-my-way-extras​ @olliethegod​ @smol-tired-kat​ @lolicontraband​

[enchanted--realm]

Heatwave

HMS ff Prompt - Hope Valley Heatwave

I had so much fun writing this. This is the first time I've ever written and completed fanfic for WCTH. I hope you enjoy! It's a Nathan x Elizabeth fic btw

Nathan enters his rowhouse, letting out a breath of relief once in the shade of his home.  Though the rowhouse is becoming hotter and hotter as the day goes on, it's an oasis compared to the oven outside.  A heatwave hit Hope Valley today and Nathan knew it was just the beginning of a long, hot week.

Removing his hat and belt, Nathan steps through to the parlor, and then undoes his serge.  A mountie’s serge is not ideal for hot weather and Nathan has been sweating all day and feigning off the heat that is getting to his head.  Clad in his undershirt, he wipes the sweat from his brow and heads to the kitchen.  Dipping his head in the sink, Nathan pumps the water straight over his head to cool off.  The water glides deliciously over his neck and through his hair, giving him temporary relief from the heat.  He cups his hand and drinks straight from the pump, and then washes his face, not bothering to dry off with a towel.  It's a Saturday and Nathan came home to break for lunch, but the heat took his appetite away.  He opts for some fruit to renew his energy and eats an apple on his way upstairs.  After changing into fresh clothing, Nathan puts on a hat and heads out the back door to grab his toolbox.   Allie is spending the day at the river with her friends to enjoy the water and the shade of the trees, so Nathan figures he’ll use the time alone to fix the porch steps that had gotten loose.  Normally, he wouldn’t be outside hammering away in the heat, but he wants to fix the porch as soon as possible so Allie doesn't hurt herself going up and down the stairs.

Rounding the side of the house to the front, Nathan sets his toolbox on the ground and kneels at the bottom step to get to work.   He can feel the hot sun beating down on his back right away and after a few minutes of working the skin of his arms feel like its burning.   Sweat drips down from his face and onto the wood right in front of him and he wipes his face and neck down with a towel.  He only hopes he can finish the job quickly so he can rest for a bit inside before needing to get back to the mountie office later.

--

Sticking her head in the icebox, Elizabeth lets out a sigh of relief.  Hope Valley was hit by a heatwave and it’s been brutally hot all day.  Jack wouldn’t stop crying for the past hour, fussy from the heat, but she managed to put him down for a nap and hoped the weather would make him tired enough to sleep the rest of the day away.  Elizabeth takes a deep breath of the cold air when she hears a faint banging in the distance.  Standing up straight, Elizabeth closes the icebox and walks across the room to her front door.  The noise is consistent, like someone hammering away at something, she thinks.  She wonders who would be doing yard work in this kind of heat.  Opening the door she turns towards the sound of the banging and down the line of rowhouses she sees Nathan crouched down on his porch steps, working away at something.  She smiles to herself, leaning back on the door frame and just watches him for a moment.  Since she and Nathan started courting in the beginning of the summer, Elizabeth has felt the happiest she’s ever been in a long time.  She finally feels like she can move on after Jack and she's ready to do that with Nathan, she thinks.

Going back inside, Elizabeth walks to the kitchen and gets out the strawberry and lemon water she made earlier this morning.  She goes back into the icebox and adds enough ice to fill the pitcher she made.  Then, going next door to Rosemary, she asks if Rosemary can keep watch over Jack for a little bit while she goes to see Nathan.  Rosemary happily obliges and so Elizabeth is off to Nathan’s with her pitcher of water and a full glass ready for Nathan.

As she walks to his rowhouse the banging gets louder.  In the distance she can see the heatwaves rising from the ground and contorting her vision.   The sun bakes her skin and a drop of perspiration skids down her back.  As she approaches Nathan she can see him fitting a new board to the top step of his porch.  He places a nail in the wood and the starts hammering again.  When she gets closer she can see the sweat soaking through the back of his shirt.  His muscles tense with every strike of the hammer, and she tries not to let her eyes linger too long.  Not wanting to sneak up on him while he works, Elizabeth walks around his side so she could be in his line of sight.

Reaching for another nail, Nathan looks up and doubles back when he notices Elizabeth standing in front of him.  He smiles instantly, setting down his hammer and climbing off the stairs to meet her.

“Elizabeth,” he smiles in greeting and takes off his hat.  She smiles brightly at him and it makes his heart light.

“Hi,” she says, holding out a glass of water, “for you.”

He huffs out a breath, taking the cool glass from her hands.  “Thank you.”

He downs the class in one go to her surprise and she pours him another glass which he takes gratefully.  She watches as he sits back on the steps and she follows him, climbing the steps and sitting a couple of steps above him to have her face in the shade.  She sets the pitcher down on the porch and watches him drink the second glass with less desperation.  She looks at the way his neck stretches out and his throat bobs with every pull of water.  Drops of sweat line the perimeter of his face and his hair is dark like he's doused his whole head in water.  She has to admit she likes seeing him in this different state.  When Nathan finishes the drink she takes the cup from his hand and places it beside her.

"Thank you for that," Nathan pants, leaning back on his elbows.

“You’re welcome.”  Elizabeth can't stop smiling at him.  Then looking out at the hazy field ahead of them she huffs out a breath, wiping the back of her hand across her forehead.  “Goodness, it’s hot.”

Nathan groans as he wipes his forearm across his brow.  "It sure is," he agrees.

“Well, what are you doing working in the sun like this?” she asks, leaning back on your hands and looking down at him from the top step.  Nathan’s head falls back to look at her, his blue eyes bright in the light of the sun, taking her breath away.  His left eye squints and it makes her want to laugh a little, and pieces of his wet hair clump together across his forehead, making her want to run her fingers through his hair.  She doesn’t do either.

“The porch step was loose and then the other one was splitting,” Nathan sighs and kicks the new board he was nailing in when she found him, “and I wanted to fix it before Allie got home,” he explains and squints out towards the field.  Elizabeth hums in response and then bids him to come sit up a couple steps so he can get some shade.  He listens and scoots up to sit back beside her, leaning against the porch rail.

Facing Elizabeth this close, he takes in the full sight of her beauty.  The heat makes her skin flush pink and glow with perspiration and he thinks it's the most beautiful sight he's ever seen.  He smiles to himself.   Just her presence makes him feel more awake and lively despite the heatwave swelling through the town.  She sits with her head resting in her hands and looks at him.  They sit like that for a few minutes before he shifts against the porch rail and it groans against his weight.  Reaching behind him with his arm Nathan feels for the pegs in the railing and catches some that are loose.  He groans internally, another thing to fix.  Elizabeth notices his slight sigh and stands up, touching his shoulder as she passes him.

“You know, I have fixed a few porch rails in my time.” Elizabeth places her hands on the railing, feeling where it needs some tightening.

Nathan gets up then from the steps to stand beside her, just mere inches away.  “I'm sure you're more than capable, but a lady shouldn't have to do that." He looks down at her, smiling that crooked smile she loves.

She smiles back at him, looking up into his blue eyes.  Standing this close she can see the dark ring around his irises, making his eyes pop even more.   He takes an impossible step closer and she gravitates to him naturally.

Despite the heat outside, all Nathan wants is to be closer to her, and feel the warmth of her skin under his hands.  He leans down, and closing the distance between them, captures her lips in a soft kiss.  He cups her cheek in his hand and she leans into him instinctively.  She runs her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck and he kisses her more deeply, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer.  Kissing Elizabeth is like a cool drink of water in this heatwave.  Pulling apart, they stand with their foreheads touching for a minute, and then Nathan gets back to work fixing the porch while Elizabeth sits and watches him.  She likes watching him fix things, letting herself follow his movements, memorizing the way the muscles in his arms flex and the way his hair falls over his forehead when he leans down.  She blotts him with the towel when he needs it and pours him more water when builds up a thirst.  After another ten minutes he's finished with the steps and the railing, and he and Elizabeth talk for a little while longer before they part ways, him needing to get back to the mountie office, and her needing to get back to little Jack and relieve Rosemary from babysitting.  She kisses him on the cheek goodbye and Nathan follows her with his eyes and watches Elizabeth disappear into the heatwaves until seeing her again tomorrow.

[autumn-foxfire]

Wow, I’m actually in shock lmao. Just when I thought Hawks couldn’t surprise me anymore. I was trying to see if his “goes too fast.” thing was ever portrayed as a bad thing, and so far I don’t think so? Since that’s what people compare to Icarus, but his flying too high was bad, Hawks being fast is not. In fact, I think being slow is a problem for heroes. He’s about as fast as All Might is unreachable in my opinion. (+)

This got really, really long, so I’m putting the rest under a keep reading XD

(+) Birdman really went and said “I’m going to find the fastest possible solution.” on the same day he gave Endeavor the book and literally two weeks later he found out Shigaraki’s location. That’s so quick omg??? Hawks, dude, bro. I'm gonna start bawling, why are you like this. Let me write it out. (Chapter 253) “Before we knew it, Winter break was over and the new term was upon us.” Winter break ends on January 7th. (+) 

On the 8th, we get the "hospital tip" it was one week after that, and two months before "heroes disappeared from the streets." That Hawks learns where Shigaraki is. The week before the 7th was the internships, making it two weeks in total. Now I'm gonna get into controversial territory. But um??? Hawks manipulating Twice for info is a bad thing, but after he hands Endeavor the book, still January btw. Twice approaches him for help in learning the PLF ideals. (+)

I wanna ask, is it really manipulation? If Hawks is just pretending to be an ally and doing helpful things to appear trustworthy? Oh wait, it does sound like that when I phrase it that way. I'm mostly familiar with the icky kind of manipulation so I don't know. This feels more in-tune with double agent stuff. And that's all he was doing. Being helpful, destro-religious, ("You're working so hard for us already!" - Twice, January.) and charismatic. (+)

But he's not having vile evil thoughts as a contrast either??? So its not super fake since he mostly interacted with citizens (and I feel like he'd genuinely be nice to them. some of them were excited to see him.) and actually reflected on their opinions. Hawks' so called manipulation of Twice lasted two weeks. TWO WEEKS!!! That is nothing, oh my god I thought it was several months. Was he there everyday? Was there really a friendship in that amount of time?

(+) I'm sorry, maybe I'm just being biased and down playing a lot. but Hori showed us in the panel where Hawks was trying to get info, it was @the MLA? And Hawks asking himself "I wonder why I haven't gotten to meet him yet?" Isn't directly prodding at Twice to fish for info, he's not trying to cozy up to him. He's just acting as a natural MLA and kindly citizen would. So yeah, info fishing ended in two weeks for Twice. Maybe they hung out later?

It’s interesting that you brought up Hawks speed because when it’s brought up, Hawks ability to be fast is usually just described as him being “the man that moves too fast”, there’s nothing inherently negative about that. However when Hawks brings up his speed, he describes himself as “the man who moves fast, for his own good” and this is the quote commonly used in the fandom. It was Hawks himself that adds the negative connetation to how own speed and really that doesn’t surprise me considering how self-depricating Hawks is.

What’s also interesting though is that then Hawks blames himself for being too slow when it comes to inflitrating the league because by the time Dabi has given him the in, the league already has man-power and financial aid to back them up.

Hawks actually gathered information as quick as he could to compensate for ‘moving too slow’ the first time around and now I’m worried about how worn thin he pushed himself in order to do so. The poor man, and it’s only going to get worse for him for a while too...

Really all this shares with us is how Hawks is way too hard on himself and it’s probably because of his upbringing (I really hope Horikoshi shares more about the training he underwent).

As for the manipulation point, manipulation itself isn’t necessarily considered an evil act. Google definition (I’m sorry this is my go-to whenever getting exact definitions of words T-T) just describes it as: to control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly or unscrupulously. It still sounds bad admittedly because to try and control a persons will, even if your intentions aren’t evil, is taking their freewill from them so I can understand why people were upset that Hawks manipulated Twice.

However it’s important to remember that Hawks only manipulated Twice to gather information on the terrorist plot to kill people, it’s not something he was doing with malicious intent and it’s certainly not something Twice or any members of the PLF would have given him of their own free will if they knew he didn’t support them. So really all he manipulated was their trust in him towards their cause and teaching Twice the PLF handbook was pretty good way to earn it (it also showcased that Hawks knew the cause they were working for too, which probably earned him more trust among them.)

But you’re right about the friendship being questionable. I’ve never even really though about how much time Hawks actually spent around Twice in those few weeks interacting with him because he was also off gathering information using the PLF members too. At least they just spent the tutoring time together or at most, as you pointed out, they hung out afterwards but even then it would have been a limited time.

Though they might have become friends but it wasn’t like the deep bond Twice shared with league (because it didn’t really have a long time to develop and Hawks was never true about his intentions with Twice either. You can’t build a friendship on lies, even lies that are for the good of everyone). Even if Hawks was ever his true self around Twice, Twice wouldn’t have been able to know because he would have become jaded by the betrayal and just assumed everything Hawks showed him was a lie. He didn’t even question it too, he immediately began to hate Hawks when he showed he was still a hero. It just shows you how deep their relationship really went, at least for Twice.

[montagnarde1793]

Ribbons of Scarlet: A predictably terrible novel on the French Revolution (part 2)

In case you were wondering, that’s not actually the novel’s subtitle, which is really “A Novel of the French Revolution’s Women.” But like, only the famous ones. Ok, I’m done. Moving on...

Parts 1, 3, 4 and 5.

Structural Issues

 While the choice of characters was a red flag for me (and not in a good way), choosing to structure the book the way they did was a mistake.

 This is true for a number of reasons. (I’m sorry, btw, for all the comparisons to Marge Piercy’s novel, but the shared conceit kind of made it inevitable.) Piercy’s characters also only got an average of 80 pages each (though as the typeset was denser, they arguably had a little bit more space), but since the POVs were interspersed, they played off each other much more naturally and allowed the characters the time to develop. Even there it could feel underdeveloped, but here it seems like they’re rushing the undeserved character development so they have some kind of complete arc for each character before the next part starts.

Some chapters are clumsier at this than others. The absolute worst is Pauline Léon’s, which is unsurprising for a number of reasons, but notably because she has the fewest pages of anyone except Charlotte Corday, who doesn’t really get an arc: she shows up in the plot already wanting to assassinate Marat; she succeeds; she doesn’t regret her decision; she’s tried and executed. That’s it.

 This choice also means that the main strength of this type of anthology goes largely untapped: namely, that we get different POVs on the same events. Since each protagonist is associated with a different period in time, we can only ever get their point of view on previous events through awkward flashbacks.

 It probably also accounts for one of the worst, most artificial and amateurish aspects of the book: the way in any given section the other six point of view characters are shoehorned into the narrative, whether it makes any sense or not. The protagonists of the different sections have to have some (highly improbable) relationship with one another or be reflecting on each other’s lives in the most ham-fisted, author-soapbox way possible. We’ll circle back to that last part in a bit.

 Possibly the most ludicrous example of this is Manon Roland’s inexplicable decision to take a random trip to Caen in mid to late August 1792 just so the author can have her run into Charlotte Corday. Like, do I even need to explain how little sense this makes? Apparently so. Look, first of all, going from Paris to Caen was not a trivial trip in the 18th century. Today you could make a day-trip of it and not be missed. It’s about 2 hours each way in the TGV. But in the 18th century, you’re looking at more like 2 days each way, minimum. Not the sort of trip you tend to make without an ostensible reason. Does Manon Roland have one, even as written? No, she does not. She’s going to Caen to flee the temptation of François Buzot’s advances. Which, ok, internal motivation for leaving Paris, but they don’t bother to give her a pretext. How is she going to explain to her husband her random absence of at least 4 days (not to mention the expense)? And why Caen (other than the external reason of the author’s wanting her to come across Corday)? She has no connections there. Does the author even know that the main person Manon Roland knows from the region is Buzot and that it’s therefore the last place she should flee to stop thinking about him? And she’s supposed to be a savvy politician: does she not care about the optics, as the interim Minister of the Interior’s wife, of fleeing in the opposite direction as the Austro-Prussian troops are advancing on Paris?

 And I know what you’re thinking: I’m overthinking this. This wasn’t a book designed for specialists. But I think a reader can tell when a world they’re reading about doesn’t feel fully fleshed-out. In that sense, it’s less about accuracy than it is about how flat and artificial a reading experience it makes for. One of the most valuable things I was taught in school was that when making a presentation, you should always know more than you intend to say. I think the same goes for fiction: you should know more about the setting and the characters than appears on the page. In this book I consistently have the impression that the authors know less.

 Moreover, the authors claim to have been striving for maximum consolidation of characters in order to reduce confusion, but it ends up coming across as both artificial and condescending. Trust your readers to be smart enough to work through their confusion. Otherwise you make it feel like there were a total of about 20 people in Paris during the Revolution, which, again, makes the setting feel completely artificial.

 While I’m not sure anything but better research and writing could have salvaged it, this book would have already been 1000% better if the characters met or thought about each other only when it would actually make sense for them to do so and the narratives were interwoven.

  The Authors are Desperate to Make Sure You Feel the Way They Want You to about Key Figures. They Also Think You’re Stupid

 Don’t get me wrong. I’m not accusing them of supposing their readers to be ignorant about the French Revolution. You should always assume your reader to be ignorant of what you’re going to tell them. Ignorant, but intelligent. That’s the key. The problem is that the authors don’t trust their audience.

 So we also get characters doing things like giving you a who’s who of the most famous (and only the most famous) authors, artists and activists of the time whether it makes sense for them to do so or not, like this is a textbook and we’ve got to make sure the reader is informed of the existence of all these figures (or maybe give them the chance to pat themselves on the back if they’ve already heard of some of them).

 Or my least favorite French Revolution trope: having Robespierre ominously show up in 1789 to start plotting the “Terror” (here they have him spouting the apocryphal* quote “pity is treason” to an audience of Sophie de Grouchy, Condorcet and the Sainte-Amaranthe family sometime in May or June 1789) (p. 89).

 *Presumably, it’s a corruption of declarations such as the one in his 5 November 1789 response to Louvet’s denunciation that “La sensibilité qui gémit presque exclusivement pour les ennemis de la liberté m’est suspecte.” (“I find the sensitivity that groans almost exclusively for the enemies of liberty suspect.”) or the one in his second speech on the judgment of Louis XVI of 28 December 1792: “la sensibilité qui sacrifie l’innocence au crime est une sensibilité cruelle ; la clémence qui compose avec la tyrannie est barbare” (“sensitivity that sacrifices innocence to crime is a cruel sensivity; clemency that compromises with tyranny is barbaric”).

 Again, we see the same need for oversimplification. Robespierre is, as one of the authors’ notes puts it, one of the “dangerous men” (back matter, p. 18) that should have been prevented from ever having power so he’s not allowed to ever do or say anything sympathetic. (And yeah, I know, death of the author and all that, I shouldn’t count the authors’ notes, but they really only serve as explicit confirmation of what could be pretty transparently inferred from the text and this way no one can accuse me of reading things into it that aren’t there.)

Because of this, even real quotes are cited out of context to the same end: when Robespierre says “pity is treason” in 1789, Condorcet says his bit from the Chronique de Paris article from April 1792 to his wife — you know the one, about Robespierre’s being admired by women because he’s basically a cult leader (p. 90). There’s no reason to think Condorcet had any particular enmity toward Robespierre (or even that Robespierre would have been on his radar) just after the opening of the Estates-General, though certainly, contrary to what is portrayed here, Condorcet was not a democrat in 1789 and Robespierre was. But again, historical figures we’re not supposed to like must be set up early and often as stock villains — otherwise you run the risk of your readers thinking for themselves, I guess. Also the Chronique de Paris quote (which is from an unsigned article generally attributed to Condorcet) is pretty damn misogynistic, which given the book’s stated main theme, you would think would be addressed in some way, but nope!

 Conversely, figures the authors like are liked by the characters — or they are at least forced to begrudgingly recognize their merit — whether it makes sense or not. One of the things Manon Roland is made to number among the things going “wrong” in August 1792 is “the hero Lafayette[’s being] forced into exile” (p. 261) and while it is the author of a different section who is a self-proclaimed La Fayette stan (thanks to Hamilton, of all things…) I think it’s fair to say from his portrayal in all the sections that we’re meant to admire him. But here’s the thing. I don’t really care what you think about La Fayette. That’s not the question. To Manon Roland in August 1792, La Fayette was a traitor who attempted to march his army against the Legislative Assembly and all her friends and allies in said Assembly voted to indict him. If you’re writing from her point of view, it should reflect that.

 Likewise, they have Pauline Léon describe Olympe de Gouges like this in July of 1793: “A defender of women, of slaves, I wish I could have admired her, but having aligned herself to my enemies, I could look at her no other way.” (p. 353). Olympe de Gouges is far better known now than she ever was in her lifetime, so making sure every character has an opinion on her is, once again, pretty artificial, but even assuming Pauline Léon had heard of her, Olympe de Gouges’s brand of feminism was an elitist one that excluded women like Pauline Léon and her abolitionism went out the window when the slaves actually started to rise up, so Pauline Léon actually would have had reason to dislike her beyond the logic of ‘you’re with me or you’re my enemy’ (there is a quote where she’s made to think precisely that, but I can’t seem to find it now — or maybe it was Reine Audu; they’re characterized pretty similarly in that respect). Likewise, Pauline Léon is made to disapprove of Condorcet or the Rolands because they don’t “[get] things done,” not because of any actual ideological disagreement (p. 349).

Probably the worst bit of condescension comes once again from Manon Roland’s section, where she tells a fellow spectator in the gallery of the Convention, “‘Don’t bother trying to tell the different assemblies and conventions apart,’” which is pretty transparently just the authors directly talking (down) to the reader rather than a conversation people who were living through events (and invested enough to be attending the Convention) would plausibly have had.

If it sounds like I’m being particularly harsh on the Manon Roland section, btw, I actually think it’s one of the less poorly done, at least in terms of rendering an historical figure’s mentality, most likely because unlike for some of the other figures, we have her memoirs and correspondence. It helps that the figures she’s supposed to hate line up with the figures the authors want us to hate as well. She saw herself as a reasonable republican and her Montagnard enemies as demagogues and that’s also clearly the authors’ assessment of the situation, so there’s less of the strange cognitive dissonance you get in some of the other chapters where even what is supposedly characters’ own POV frames them as wrong.

Stay tuned for style issues and reflections on what it means to “write what you want to know”!

[superman86to99]

Adventures of Superman #505 (October 1993)

REIGN OF THE SUPERMAN! The Reign is over, and Superman does what we’d all do after being dead for several weeks and coming back to life: no, not visiting your parents, making out with Lois Lane.

Or more than making out, since the next page starts with a caption that says “Later...” and lets us know that they both had to take a shower. (NOTE: Check Don Sparrow’s section below for artist Tom Grummett’s definitive take on what happened in that scene.)

Their post-resurrection bliss comes to a stop when they remember a little detail: Clark Kent is still presumed dead. How are they gonna explain his return without making the extremely smart residents of Metropolis suspect that Superman and the guy who looks like Superman but with glasses are actually the same person? Superman’s mind immediately goes into “wacky bullshit excuse” mode and he starts spitballing ideas, like claiming Clark lost his memory, or was carried by underwater currents, or was abducted by aliens. Honestly, I’m pretty sure that last one would work, since there have been THREE major alien invasions in the past few years, but Lois thinks no one would be dumb enough to fall for that sort of thing. Really, Lois? No one?

At this point, Superman picks up some supervillain activity with his super hearing, so he gets dressed and goes there (though it would have been pretty intimidating for the criminals if she’d shown up in that shower rug). A bank uptown has been taken over by Loophole, a S.T.A.R. Labs accountant who stole a gizmo that allows him to phase through walls. When Superman shows up to arrest him and his henchmen (are they all villainous accountants?), Loophole literally puts his first through Superman’s chest, instantly killing him. RIP Superman, again.

Nah, Supes just swats Loophole away and breaks the gizmo, causing him to get his crotch area stuck inside a vault door. Now he has to change his supervillain name to “DickVault”.

(I freaking love Maggie Sawyer, btw.)

After that, Superman goes to one of the areas trashed by his fight with Doomsday and helps clean up the junk that’s still laying around there. It’s then that he finally reunites with his best friend and most valued ally: Bibbo Bibbowski. (Jimmy Olsen’s there, too, unfortunately.)

Bibbo also introduces Superman to the dog he named in honor of his home planet, Krypto -- and it’s Krypto who provides the most significant moment in this issue. The little mutt starts barking at some debris from a destroyed building, leading Superman to examine it with his X-Ray vision and find some kids underneath.

Turns out the kids had been trapped there since the Doomsday fight, leading some random passerby (fine, Jimmy) to wonder if Clark could be stuck in a similar situation. Superman and Lois look at each other... giving Superman an idea and providing the premise for next week’s issue.

Character-Watch:

First appearance of Loophole (real name Deke Dickinson, C.P.A.), who would become a running joke in Karl Kesel’s Superman and Superboy comics. While his phasing powers are tech based, he also has the metahuman ability to somehow convince attractive women to be his girlfriends/henchwomen despite being a balding little dweeb. In this issue he’s dating a blonde named Sheila (who wears a mask, so maybe she’s actually hideous), but I’m pretty sure he had other girlfriends in future issues.

Plotline-Watch:

As I said... holy shit, five years ago: no one draws Supes coming back to Lois after an extended absence like Tom Grummett. This scene is almost a remake of the one from that issue when Superman comes back from his time traveling jaunt. There’s also a callback to Man of Steel #25, when Lois hears a tap on her window and thinks it’s Superman, but it’s just some dumb bird. This time she gets it the other way around:

Don Sparrow says: “There’s a cute visual callback to the last time Superman returned after a long absence on page 18, when Superman is reunited with Jimmy. It’s a near identical pose to Action #643, where Superman returned from exile in space (and in that moment, infected Jimmy with Eradicator-based space sickness, womp womp).” I think he’s instinctively throwing Jimmy up in the air, hoping the cold of space will kill him. Unfortunately, both murder attempts were unsuccessful.

As seen above, Maggie Sawyer wasn’t too convinced that “Fabio” here was Superman at first. That changes when he calls her “Captain” even though she was recently promoted to Inspector, and she’s like “only a dead man wouldn’t know all the precise ranks for the local authorities!”

The surviving non-Supermen are seen arriving at S.T.A.R. Labs for medical care after the Engine City showdown. Don again: “There are some mild continuity issues stemming from Superman #82, which perhaps wasn’t completely finished being drawn while Tom Grummett worked on this one, as Steel’s costume is almost entirely intact, when we last saw it a week ago, it was in tatters. Ditto the Eradicator, who was a wizened husk, and now is apparently a scorched Ivan Drago.” Let’s assume Supergirl worked her clothes-shifting magic on Steel’s armor and the Eradicator’s, uh, hair.

There’s a short scene where Superboy is visited by his reporter pal Tana Moon, who tells him she quit WGBS and is leaving Metropolis. Awww. Goodbye, Tana. Or should I say... aloha?

Meanwhile, Lex Luthor Jr. has a scene with Dr. Happersen where he says he intends to control or destroy anyone who wears the “S” symbol. Basically, if he can’t date them, they should be dead. He also instructs Happersen to help Cadmus’ Director Westfield get in contact with disgraced genetician Dabney Donovan. Get ready for a whole lot of clone-related shenanigans in the near future.

And now, more Don Sparrow-related shenanigans after the jump!

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow​):

This issue is another favourite of mine, but I suppose all these issues around the Death and Return are faves when I really think about it.  My copy of this issue had the holographic fireworks cover, and it’s a good one.  I like that Superman and the Daily Planet are in natural colour, rather than holograms.  The cover credit goes Karl Kesel, Tom Grummett and Doug Hazlewood, so I’m not sure what the breakdown was (or if that’s just a handwritten cover credit, just in case?

The story opens with one of my favourite sequences ever, with Lois waking up on her couch, having fallen asleep following the events in Coast City.  I love the detail as she opens the curtain, we see her engagement ring, indicating she knows her real fiancée has returned.  This sequence is followed up by two pages of splashes of the passionate reunion of the best couple in comics.  All beautifully rendered as they float, locked in a passionate, sunrise kiss.  Just lovely (so lovely that I am willing to overlook a small colouring error, as Lois has black hair instead of reddish brown for one panel).  [Max: I can confirm that they fixed that in the collections.]

What follows is a very cute scene, and one of some debate among Superman fans.  There’s no overt evidence of what happened, all we get is a cryptic caption reading “later…”.   Again, I give credit for the subtlety of the writers, as they depict this scene in a way that can be read either way:  maybe Clark and Lois made love, and the “later” we are seeing is afterglow, or maybe Lois had a shower since she just woke up after sleeping in her clothes. Then, after calling his parents while Lois showered, Clark had a shower himself.  I feel like today’s writers wouldn’t feel the need to be so subtle, and might lose the sweetness of this scene.  

In previous posts, I’ve talked about my friendship with artist Tom Grummett, and how as a boy, I would wear him out with all my dumb fanboy questions.  Once I got older, and our relationship became a little more collegial (just a little closer to collegial, since I in no way consider myself anywhere near his level of skill or success) I would really try not to geek out too much when we would visit.  But the one question I had to ask was about this scene, and what their intention, or interpretation of it was, as I was always curious.  Once I had explained to him which issue it was (the guy has drawn hundreds, so they might not all spring to mind immediately!) he admitted that his assumption was indeed that they had sex.  So there you have it!  [Max: Hot damn! Another Superman ‘86 to ‘99 exclusive, folks!]

However you wish to read this scene, the choreography, and facial expressions as they horse around is really sweet and fun, and such a nice, light tone compared to the do-or-die pace the books had been for the last two years or so.   Their easy joking, and back and forth banter really do a great job of showing them as a real couple.

It’s a very nice pose on Supergirl as she lifts off, simultaneously spurning Superboy’s romantic complaints.

I quite like the design on Loophole, and his gang.  Loophole himself kinda harkens back to the silver age villains of the Flash as Loophole has a unique hairline, is an older man, with a pretty average build, which was rare for villains in the 90s. His gimmick is pretty cool, too, though we immediately see its vulnerability.

The tearful reunion of the now-sober Bibbo and Superman is also a great moment—if anyone rose to the challenge of living up to Superman’s example in his absence, it was Bibbo.  I discuss the scene in more detail in the observations later, but the image of Superman whipping away the debris on page 20 is a great visual, with the dust clouds creating great motion and urgency.

On the whole, a great first issue for the return to the never-ending battle, even if it brings us closer to Grummett’s last issue on this title (for a while).

STRAY OBSERVATIONS:

Could Superman referring to the Death and Return storyline as a dream, while stepping out of the shower be a reference to Dallas, and their famous about-face after an unpopular season, where Bobby Ewing emerged from the shower, alive and well, dismissing a yearlong storyline as a dream?

A coy semi-reference to perhaps my favourite line in the first Reeve Superman film on page 8, where Supergirl says “Easy steel, we’ve got you, then later adding, “ok, you got me”.  

A little more issue-to-issue dissonance with Superboy reversing himself from the end of Superman #82, where he said clearly that Kal-El was Superman, with Superboy pointing out that legally, he’s Superman and not Kal. [Max: I think he’s talking strictly in the legal sense, since he helps Superman deal with the legal problem on the next issue and all.]

For all the times that Superman has used his heat vision on guns (as he does on page 11), we’ve never seen rounds get burned off, firing on their own because of the heat.  There might be an idea there.    

An odd sorta-cameo by Erik Larsen’s Savage Dragon, who Superman apparently defeats in the waterfront district. An eagle-eyed reader asked Larsen about it in issue #6 of Dragon’s own book, and he nixed any proper crossover rumours, saying it was just a shout-out from Larsen’s buddy Karl Kesel.  Eventually they’d meet in Superman/Savage Dragon: Chicago, a so-so crossover in 2002.

A slightly bawdy joke from one of the Loophole gang, on page 14, as the moll of Deke Dickson calls Loophole a “weiner”.  

GODWATCH: A stirring moment when Superman detects the faintest of life-signs, thanks to would-be super-pup, Krypto, and responds “God willing” when someone asks if anyone is alive in that wreckage.  The love and concern in Superman’s eyes when he says he’d “rather die” himself than let little ones perish is a tear-jerker moment for sure.  Bonus points for the cuteness of Superman heaping praise on Krypto, with the line “if that dog could fly, I’d put a cape on him…”

Question:  Does Jimmy know? He comes up with the solution to the Clark problem very conveniently.  Maybe he’s smarter than we (and by we, I mean Max) give him credit for? [Max: It was all Krypto! Okay, I’ll concede that maybe Jimmy is as smart as a dog.]

[ashleyfanfic]

Hi! I know you did a fic rec list for jonerys modern AUs recently. I wondered if you had any Westeros AU recs? Whether it be Rhaegar lives or Jonerys meet differently or whatever else. I love all your stories btw. You are incredible.

Oh, Sure, I can do a canon-divergent ones! You might see some of the same fics, though.  Go South, Get Warm by @lawonderlandwriter​ An alternate route to Winterfell! After being resurrected, Jon Snow leaves for Oldtown to stay with the only person he can trust - Samwell Tarly. But after he receives a raven from his sister Sansa requesting help to take back their family home from the Boltons, Jon goes on a mission collecting allies in the South - the Tyrells of Highgarden, the Sand Snakes of Dorne, the portion of the Ironborn fleet commanded by Yara Greyjoy...and of course, the queen across the sea, Daenerys Targaryen. Jon and Daenerys build a quick rapport and she soon makes him the Lord Commander of her armies. Together they face the Lannister, the Boltons, Euron Greyjoy...and finally, the Night King. A Wolf In The Sand by @notpmahlem​ I did what I thought was right. And I got murdered for it. He died. He was resurrected. Coping with that betrayal, additional information upends him again and sends him to the last place anyone would expect him to go. In search of Dragons. The Masks We Wear by @jaqtkd​ King Robert is holding a grand Masquerade Ball to celebrate his son’s engagement to Sansa Stark and all the great families in the realm are invited. Jon Snow has mixed feelings about attending such an event but a chance encounter with a mysterious beauty is set to make his evening far more interesting. Victory Is In Your Veins by @fierypen37​ As he tries to return to the Night's Watch, Jon is taken and sold to slavers. A fighter sent to fight to the death in a pit worse than the seven hells. Meanwhile, Daenerys is recovering from betrayal in Qarth and planning her next move toward the home she longs for. The Ginger Wolf and the Copper Dragon by @lawonderlandwriter​ Shortly after his election as the 998th Lord Commander of the Night's Watch, Jon Snow is visited by a wildling woman with news that will change his world forever. Winter Roses Series by fairytalelvr Completely AU from the end of the Rebellion! After Ned takes Jon from the Tower of Joy, he stops by King's Landing to see Robert crowned. There, they discover the former Queen had died in childbed. But while Prince Viserys escaped Dragonstone, the baby Daenerys was not born soon enough and was brought to the capital to face justice for her family's crimes. This story is about Robert allowing Daenerys to live in Winterfell, betrothed to Jon to sully her line, rather than disgrace himself by murdering a baby. Across the Sea by @lawonderlandwriter​ Lyanna goes into early labor and survives, afterward escaping to Dragonstone to hide with the last of the Targaryens. Upon Lyanna's arrival, Queen Rhaella summons the one man she knows she can trust to protect her newest and only surviving grandchild, the man who killed her husband, Jaime Lannister. When the queen dies after giving birth to her only daughter Daenerys, Jaime and Lyanna take the children to Essos to hide from the wrath of Robert Baratheon. *There will be quite a few early chapters dedicated to young Jon and Dany and their adventures in Essos but it won't take a terribly long time to get to teen Jon/Dany (about the age we meet them in Season 1 of GoT). *This will be from the POVs of Lyanna, Jaime, Jon, and Dany.**Lyanna is one of the heroines of this story so if you are not a fan of hers, you will not enjoy this fic. Also I'll remind everyone to read the tags. I don't have the Jaime/Lyanna relationship tag on here for funzies. It's part of the story. Warg Riders by @jaqtkd​ For years Queen Cersei has played her deadly game of thrones not caring who suffers under her rule. The north, battered and grieving claims independence, content to bide their time whilst they build their power. But then Daenerys Targaryen returns from exile and decides to pick a side. Her Life, Her Death by magicmoon111 Swayed by the powerful words of a dying queen, Stannis Baratheon takes in baby Daenerys Targaryen as his ward. In the North, Eddard Stark is ordered to raise Jon Snow to wed and dishonor the Targaryen princess, by bringing bastard blood into her line, and ending the Dragons forever. Across the continent, and across the Narrow Sea, the wheel continues to turn, and the Great Game commences. Thus begins a series of events that would change the fate of Westeros forever. Held Captive by @fierypen37​ Upon landing in Westeros, Daenerys makes a pact with the King in the North, with interesting results. Or, in which Robb lives as King in the North and Jon is given to Daenerys as a hostage of war.**Winner of 2017 Jonerys Fanfiction Award for Best Action** Together, We Collide by lustonmyfingers Five years after Robert's Rebellion, Daenerys returned from Essos after the death of her brother Viserys, to be raised at Winterfell, per Ned's request. She and Jon find themselves drawn to each other in a way that tests his desire to join the Night's Watch. Set during the last feast thrown for King Robert and his entourage at Winterfell. Jon, banned from the festivities by Cat, and Dany ducking out by choice on account of the Usurper, together, do some innocent flirting past the walls of Winterfell after Jon boldly carries her there atop his shoulder. They lie in the grass, talking and pondering the meaning of the red comet streaking the night sky. Before the flirtation gets out of hand, Jon tries to retreat, but Dany has something else in mind, as she attempts to change his mind about joining the Night's Watch. (Recent Import from FF, Originally Published: Sep 14 2017) You Can Never Be Mine by @muttpeeta​ Jon Snow knows it's wrong to covet what his brother has. He's never begrudged Robb Stark his title or his claim as the heir to Winterfell. But when Daenerys is taken in as Lord Stark's ward and betrothed to Robb, Jon's honor is tested in a way he never expected.

Built To Love by @frostbitepandaaaaa​ It was nearly as bleak as Dragonstone, and nearly as beautiful. She had resented leaving her home after so long a wait to regain it and so short a stay amidst its walls, but Tyrion had insisted. “For him to come here will be as though he is naught but a supplicant. And the same will be said of you if you travel directly to Winterfell. Best it is done somewhere in the middle.” This Jon Snow had better be worth it. (another arranged marriage fic no one asked for. based on a tumblr prompt.)

[likeshipsonthesea]

can i make a klave request for 76? i love your work, btw!

from this list 76. “You’re so weird.” “You have no idea.” I modified it a little for soldier talk, hope you don’t mind. enjoy!

“I need two,” Klaus tells Fitz when he gets to the front of the chow line.

Fitz raises his eyebrows, unamused. “You know the rules, Hargreeves. One ration per soldier.” Klaus flutters his eyelashes, which makes Fitz snort but doesn’t soften the hard set to his jaw. Klaus sighs. 

“Fitzy, baby, I’m gonna level with you. I need a second ration, and I’ll tell you why, I’ve done and got myself the shits. Real bad ones. Just, like, fuckin’ geyser shits, but I don’t need to tell you, I’m sure.” Klaus gives him a wink. “So you and I know both know that I gotta eat double to keep something in my body or who knows what could happen. What am I gonna do when I’m out there shitting my guts out and Charlie comes up outta no where to kill me? Now, I’m sure you don’t want me scrambling to get my pants up and gun out with the only the strength of a barren empty stomach to support me, now do you?”

Fitz blinks for a few moments before shaking his head with a sigh. “You’re are so fucking weird, Hargreeves,” he says, filling up a second plate.

Klaus grins, taking it. “You have no idea,” he says, turning and swinging his hips away.

Fitz chuckles. “Say hi to Katz for me.”

“If I had a free hand I’d flip you off!” Klaus yells over his shoulder but he doesn’t mean it. Fitz is of a good sort, as far as the platoon goes. Klaus doesn’t think he knows, but he doesn’t think Fitz would go out of his way to say anything if he did. That’s about the best they can hope for, out here.

“Hey baby,” Klaus purrs, pushing into the tent with the rations. Dave sits up from where he was napping, resting his ankle after hitting it funny on the trek here. “Got you some chow.”

“Aw, canned ham and crackers, my favorite.” Dave smiles, taking the plate. “You’re too good to me.”

“It’s only ‘cause you put out,” Klaus says around a mouthful of crackers and Dave shakes his head, still smiling.

They don’t talk much as they eat. It’s habit, even if they’re far from any enemy territory. Klaus munches on the stale crackers and thinks about Fitz, and the rest of the company along with it.

It’s weird to fight for the lives of people that might turn on him if they ever knew who he loved. Fitz is really an exception to the rule, and though it’s an open secret amongst the platoon that Klaus and Dave are close, implying anything beyond friendship is always meant as a jeer. Even Klaus, with his eyeliner and sashaying and calling everyone and their mother “baby,” still gets roped into the nights when they reminisce about girls back home. The guys still think– refuse not to think– that Klaus and Dave are straight as they shoot.

It makes Klaus think about back home. Not that the Academy was ever home. But he worked alongside his siblings and he still isn’t sure if all of them are okay with his inclinations. He assumes Allison must be, working in Hollywood and all, and Vanya is definitely repressing something under all those button-ups and undiagnosed neurosis.

He knows Ben doesn’t care, at least not more than he cares about not seeing what Klaus gets up to. “I don’t need to see this,” he’ll whine or, more lately, sigh, and drift off to wherever he goes when he isn’t haunting Klaus. He acts as if Klaus never gives a warning, like there isn’t build-up before the actual dicks come out. Though, to be fair, there’ve been many a drug deal that went down downtown, if you catch his drift, so possibly Ben had a point.

Klaus thinks Luther is too repressed to even know what a dick is and Diego might be the straightest person Klaus has ever met– come on, the knives are most definitely compensating for something only someone giving it would worry that much about. Neither of them screams “ally.”

There is Five, though. Klaus wonders. Anyone who hits a Diamond Anniversary with a damned piece of plastic is in no place to judge, but Klaus doesn’t know. He wonders what Five would think, though. Think of Dave.

A foot nudges Klaus’ knee and he looks up. Dave is smiling. He’s always smiling. Typically it would irritate Klaus, someone smiling all the time, but knowing what Dave goes through here, what he sacrifices just to be able to smile, it feels so much more than the empty victories Klaus is used to, in smiles.

“Penny for your thoughts,” Dave says, and Klaus is almost positive that the phrase is out of date, even for today’s date, but it’s so perfectly Dave, so sweet and genuine and– fuck, Klaus is so gone for him.

“Wondering what my family would think of you,” Klaus says, because he doesn’t know how to lie to Dave and doesn’t have any inclination to start. It’s weird, but in the good way. Like pedicures or wax figurines.

“Oh? And what seems to be the verdict?”

Klaus thinks about it. “Luther would be confused by you.” He glances at Dave’s body. “Intimidated, maybe. He doesn’t know what to do with people who aren’t more broken than him.” Dave frowns slightly, so Klaus adds a nice thing. “I think he’d make you laugh, and I think he’d like that.”

Smiling again. Score.

“Diego might pull the protective older brother thing because he likes that kind of stuff. He might threaten you with a knife, we don’t know.” Klaus shrugs and Dave shakes his head. “You’d be too earnest for it, though, and he’d give up and probably make you talk about sports. Ugh. Men things.”

“You’re a man,” Dave says, giggling a little the way he always does when Klaus is being ridiculous.

Klaus waves a hand. “Semantics. Moving on.” Dave chuckles and Klaus smothers his own smile by talking. “Allison would see how drop dead gorgeous you are and congratulate me on the spot.” Dave flushes but doesn’t comment. Klaus goes soft, looking at him. “She’d also like how kind you are, I think. She’s always liked that stuff. Vanya, too. She’d talk music with you I think. You’re both huge nerds for that.

“Ben would love you for much the same, he’s a huge nerd too.” Klaus curls his hand around Dave’s unhurt ankle. “He’d like how much you love me. And how much I love you.”

Dave presses his toes into Klaus hip, smile warm like the first rays of sun after days of rain. “My folks wouldn’t know what to do with you,” he says but it isn’t harsh. “I think they’d like you for how good you are for me. They always said I was too quiet and such, needed someone to balance me out.”

“Well I damn well tip the scales,” Klaus preens, fluttering his eyelashes at Dave, who laughs, again.

“Sometimes you’re almost too much to hold,” Dave says, so damn earnest and heart pounding and Klaus can’t help himself, daylight be damned, he leans in to press his mouth to Dave’s smile, and they keep at it, slow and too much, for minutes longer than they should, but Klaus doesn’t care one bit.

They settle into sleep a mere hour later, needing to be up bright and early to keep moving. It’s cold at nights, always is, so they huddle together for warm, Dave the little spoon because Klaus got to be it last time.

With his cheek pressed to Dave’s shoulderblade, Klaus thinks about Five, inexplicably. How would he react to Dave? Assuming he isn’t a bigot, assuming he cares at all, would he like Dave?

They had so little time together, but that’s not it because the rest of the house dispersed within years of Five’s disappearance. The only thing Klaus can base his other assumptions on is who his siblings became later. He never got to see that with Five.

He suddenly, achingly, wants to. He wants to see Five grow up, see who he is beyond the impending apocalypse. Is he funny? He was funny as a kid, Klaus remembers. The dry kind of wit. He’d say something and have Klaus in stitches while the rest of the group hadn’t caught on to the joke. He’d been a condescending asshole, yeah, but he shared some of his cooler facts with the rest of them.

Klaus remembers mentioning once, halfway into a panic attack or something, that he couldn’t tell if he was awake sometimes because the ghosts haunted his dreams. Within days, Five had read several books on the subject of nightmares and, offhandedly, unimportantly, dropped tips on telling the difference between dreams and reality when he was around Klaus. Klaus wouldn’t have known, but he’d been looking for his mask one day and found a whole stack of books, and Five shooed him out of his room yelling, but Klaus had known.

He’d found out Five’s biggest secret: he cared.

Klaus’ chest clenches thinking back to it. Five had spent decades trying to get back to them to fix the apocalypse. To save them. Klaus couldn’t figure out why, thinking on it, because they were all seven shades of fucked up, but maybe they weren’t, when Five left.

There’d been a time when they were as close to a family as Dad– Reginald had let them be. Sneaking out to play after dinner, sharing comics and inside jokes, fighting over the bathrooms and defending each other from the world. Five had left them a family and come back to find them fractured.

Klaus always thought they were strangers who grew up in a house together, but they hadn’t been strangers, really, until after they’d left. After they’d stopped trying. After there’d been something else to hold onto aside from each other.

Five never had that. Neither had Luther, come to think of it, and Ben only had it tangentially. None of them grew up, and the rest of them grew– wrong.

For a moment, clinging to Dave’s sleepless form and shivering despite the sleeping bags he’s cocooned in, Klaus wants desperately to go back. Go back to a time before they all gave up, before it got too hard. Grab on to each other instead of let go, help each other.

Maybe it’s being in the marines, having Dave and Fitz and all the other guys, but Klaus finally knows what being on a team can mean. What it can be.

“You okay?” Dave mumbles, mostly asleep. Klaus nods against his back. “Go to sleep, matok.”

Klaus squeezes closer. No use wondering over the past now– or the future, or whatever it is. Klaus is here, with Dave, and that’s what matters now. Klaus doesn’t have to wonder if Dave loves him or wants him or any of that. He knows the answer, and the comfort in that is worth more than anything his siblings could give him.

Klaus presses his lips against Dave’s shoulder and quickly falls asleep.

[ohayohimawari]

Kakashi Asks-Answer

Q: (From @thetoxicstrawberry) What are your thoughts on Sukea? Do you think this disguise existed prior to him messing with Team 7?

A: I know that you and I have congratulated each other on having the same brain before Berry, and this is another of those priceless occasions, haha! I’ve been hoping that someone would ask me about Sukea so that I could have an excuse opportunity to geek all over my favorite ninja dork’s alter ego. Thank you for reading my thoughts (your thoughts? Our thoughts?)!

*Cracks knuckles* My study of the development of Kakashi’s photogenic photographer not-so-secret identity starts below the cut.

It’s a beautiful coincidence that I answer this question so close to my first anniversary as an outed writer in the Naruto fanfiction community. I wrote my headcanon of the origin of Sukea in my very first (and very naughty) fic! Seriously, I can forgive Kishi for almost everything simply because he removed the mask from my favorite character and put a camera in his hands (for those that don’t know, I’m a photographer).

In my story Supplemental Training, I portray Kakashi just as I imagine him when he’s nearing the end of his ANBU career. While he claims to be a man of many hobbies, he is first and foremost a ninja. He goes to sleep and wakes up a shinobi. His ability to form plans and strategies makes him both a powerful ally and a formidable enemy, but beyond the scope of missions, I don’t believe him to be an especially imaginative person. At the very least, I mean to say that he doesn’t put much stock in his own latent creative ability, and that prevents him from attempting such. Further, at that stage in his life and career, Kakashi is wound tighter than a two-dollar watch.

In my fic, he is reluctantly thrust into a situation that he is suspicious of, and is determined to control. He plays along with another character when she asks what he would like to call her, and Kakashi dubs her with a name that is obvious and unimaginative. She, in turn, christens him with a name that is equally obvious and unimaginative: Sukea.

(Side note: sukea is the Japanese pronunciation of the English word scare. Kakashi means scarecrow in Japanese, so, his alter ego’s name is a play on his own.)

In the story, Kakashi accepts the offered moniker, and it’s not long before he realizes that he stands to gain new skills if he manages to successfully navigate his situation. I’d written that my quick-thinking bean likens this experience to being an actor that is assuming a role. In scrambling for a costume, he tugs his mask down; effectively removing the face that most have come to recognize as his. Then, he’s nervous af.

This leads to the pivotal moment of my story, and in the creation of Sukea. Konoha’s prodigy, for all of his brilliance, doesn’t shine in the social interactions arena. Kakashi, bless his heart, wants so badly to be in control of the situation. However, it’s only when he lets himself go in favor of becoming Sukea, that he finally does gain control of it.

Near the end of my story, I write that Kakashi considers, “… what he had gained, who he had escaped, what he had beaten back, and who he became.” It’s from this moment on that I believe Sukea is an important part of this character’s life.

This transition doesn’t have to play out the way I’d written it in that fic, but I think Kakashi would have to be pushed into stepping outside of himself. We don’t see him assuming different identities in his career. He’s not a role-playing kind of dude in his downtime. He lives in a mask and wears an additional one when he clocks in for his shifts. He insulates himself during missions and isolates himself between them. I sometimes wonder if, by this stage in his life, he’d hidden his identity so well that Kakashi had lost sight of himself.

So, the experience of being Sukea-however it comes about and for whatever reason-would be something between refreshing and liberating for the Copy Nin.

Now I’m going to pull a Kishi tactic and employ a time jump with minimal backstory. A couple of years go by in which bad things happen to the Uchiha clan, Konoha adopts yet another orphan, and Kakashi is released from ANBU.

I imagine that this is one of the most difficult stages of Kakashi’s life. Nothing could be more unsettling for this dork than idleness after the familiar, strict, comfortable routine of the decade he spent in ANBU. I honestly think Kakashi wouldn’t know what to do with himself in the years between Black Ops and Team Seven. As a result, he begins to have a greater appreciation of Gai and his challenges. Also, this is when Kakashi would flesh out his secret identity as Sukea.

Because escapism.

Kakashi can’t stand himself in the years between Team Minato and Team Seven, and after he’s out of ANBU, he’s got too much time on his hands to ruminate on it.

There’s no way in hell that he would just wake up one day and decide to skip along the streets of Konoha without his mask on though. Kakashi would approach this consciously and meticulously. It helps to occupy the extra time. It postpones the moment between deciding to go out as Sukea and actually doing it. He would need time to prepare for this, mentally and physically.

There’s more to my headcanon than loathing himself though. The Third Hokage decided that this traumatized soldier was grade A teacher material, and Kakashi takes his orders seriously. While I don’t think he would view his eccentric nature as odd, I think he would be aware that he is socially awkward (at least, he would be aware that he feels awkward in social situations). I think he would strive to improve at this, if only for the sake of being a sensei.

This is why Sukea is a photographer.

Being a photographer is similar to being a fly on the wall. In order to capture candid moments or gather pictorial evidence, a photographer needs to melt into the background. Kakashi, being a ninja, would know how to succeed at that. He’d come to terms with the fact that the mask that hides his face makes him stand out. He’d know to cover his luscious, outrageous silver cowlicks, his famous scar and borrowed eye.

I can almost hear a couple of you piping up in the back asking, “But Hima, he’s a ninja! He can just don a henge!” The answer to that is no, unfortunately. As long as that sharingan is in Kakashi’s eye socket, that shit never shuts off. Even though he’s wearing a contact lens, as long as both of his eyes are open, it’s a constant drain on this poor knucklehead’s chakra reserve. Also? I think he doesn’t want to.

Choosing photography as Sukea’s schtick was brilliant. Photographers are expected to focus on their subjects, affording Kakashi plenty of time and opportunity to study others. He would definitely learn a great deal about people this way. Relationships and their dynamics are captured by his lens. He gains some new social skills by watching and catches up on the lives of the folks of the Hidden Leaf at the same time. One of his many hobbies is born. The best photographers are careful in their observations, quick in their actions, and Kakashi is already carrying those tools around in his fanny pack.

Unrelated, but, only Kakashi could make a fanny pack look asjkfsd hot. Another trivial detail, but you know how I love those: I’m thinking of one of Berry’s delightful headcanons about his mask and drawing from it now in my imagination. I wonder if Sukea carries Kakashi’s mask in his coat pocket the first few times he goes out in public.

Whether he does or not, after a few field trips around Konoha, I think Kakashi would genuinely enjoy stepping out as Sukea. He would have to if he’s still doing it during his sensei days, and again in the next-gen era.

He delights in trolling Team Seven, that’s for sure. Sukea is his own private joke, and who among us tires of laughing at our own jokes? Kakashi’s no different, and that’s why we catch him smirking at his reflection when we finally got to see the goods in that special manga chapter and anime episode. It felt so good to have my anime crush validated, btw.

Every time Kakashi drifts undetected around the Leaf Village, there is one other jōnin that Sukea’s camera avoids. As much as he enjoys his joke, he wouldn’t push his luck when it comes to the possibility of Maito Gai recognizing him. I think it speaks volumes about their friendship when we see Sukea sweating it out as Gai’s eyebrows invade his personal space and he stares the other man down. I’m convinced that this is how Kakashi learns his eternal rival is hopelessly face blind, but that’s a headcanon for another day.

Sukea is still stalking the inhabitants of the Hidden Leaf when Boruto’s generation of ninja are preparing to graduate. However, we see Kakashi tugging his mask back up and pulling the wig off, transitioning in front of Iruka. In so doing, he proves how much he’s grown throughout his life. I imagine that being Sukea had a lot to do with that.

This alter ego of Kakashi’s-like so much about him-is enigmatic. It seems to me that he’s revealing himself rather than hiding himself; giving others a chance to get to know him underneath the underneath. The person aside from the elite ninja that he is.

I said earlier that I wondered if Kakashi had hidden his identity so well, that he had lost sight of himself. I like to think that in being Sukea, Kakashi reconnected with himself.

XOXO

[nobodyfamousposts]

On he post of Marinette not being able to reject Future Adrien, how will she be able to get out of that situation? Also, is there any chance she'll be able to save the present Adrien? (BTW, I LOVE YOU AND YOUR BLOG!!)

Thank you. Still, I have to wonder why do you people ask for these things?

That’s just it: she won’t. Marinette might be suspicious, but her suspicions can be thrown off easily. Adrien can play up the pity act and attribute any strangeness she’s sensing as being due to the current circumstances he’s been dealing with “that are in no way his fault”.

If she continues to suspect something’s wrong, Adrien not only has justification for his behaviors, but he also has his future knowledge. He KNOWS Marinette. He knows her wishes. He knows how she thinks. And he knows the best ways to distract her and reassure her that nothing is wrong.

And if even THAT doesn’t work, he has the Butterfly Miraculous as well as access to all the OTHER Miraculous. He can have magical means to make Marinette care or specifically NOT care about the things he wants, and he is twisted enough that he would use them.

Could she save present Adrien and restore him to his original, non-corrupted, non-traumatized, non-yandere self? Arguably, yes. But she’s at a severe disadvantage against an enemy she isn’t aware of while he in turn has full knowledge of her. Future Adrien is going to want to keep it that way.

She would have to realize not only that Adrien is acting strangely, but that the strangeness is Miraculous-based. If she goes to check with Fu to see what’s going on, depending on when she gets there, she may or may not make it in time to prevent the other Miraculous from being stolen. If she does, she can get the other Miraculous and hand them out to other allies. If she doesn’t, she’ll at least know that Fu was attacked and the Miraculous stolen, though not by whom.

Only problem is, her first inclination would be to talk with Chat about the matter in either case, which would open her up to potential manipulation by him.

Fortunately, she would still have Tikki, who would definitely be more cautious about matters and would likely notice for sure that something is wrong if not what. This would be helped by Plagg, who would not be happy about this entire situation and would want to take steps to remove this corruptive influence from his kid and return him to normal.

With the two kwamis helping her, Marinette may stand a chance. Even better if she’s able to get the Miraculous first.

But heaven help us all if this is a version where Chaton exists. After all, dolls can be akumatized, and Chaton would be less likely to try to eat one if it’s a “gift” from someone he thinks he can trust. And if his only “duty” as an akuma is to protect Marinette and keep her from worrying about anything? Well, why would he argue with that?

[ace-theatre-ghosts]

Hi, I Am Asexual/Ace

I am just sharing where I am coming from as an ace person. These are by no means guidelines for all ace people but the goal here is to inform or expose. To share with you personally a little bit about what it’s like to be ace. Lately, I’ve had to come out all over again to a variety of different kinds of people who don’t seem to know much about what being asexual actually implies.

Let’s start with a few definitions---

Asexual: someone who is not sexually attracted to others.

Demisexual: someone who only feels sexual attraction after forming an emotional connection.

Aromantic: someone who is not romantically attracted to others.

These definitions are important because there are people who think that being any of these things means that those who identify with them don’t have sex or are afraid or can’t have certain connections with others (whatever it may be). Breaking it down very basically- this is all about attraction not activities. It is all solely about the individual who identifies as one of these. It’s kind of like- someone who is Roma is not Romanian but there are Romanian Roma. So, someone who is asexual isn’t sexually attracted to someone but there are asexual people who are repulsed or indifferent about sex and prefer not to have  it. LIKE ME! Yeah.

I am indifferent about sex and in some ways repulsed by it. I don’t like it, I don’t want to have it, I don’t think it is necessary in relationships (and if you really want to get deep, I certainly don’t think it should play a major part in ANY relationship but that’s just me). You cannot change this. I have had a significant other that thought this was flexible, like if only the right dude came along (like he would be the right dude, uhm excuse me).

When I pursue deeper relationships beyond friendships, they are strictly platonic. I have yet to compromise my lack of sex life for a relationship and I don’t expect to.

^ Nor do I expect to become demisexual. But- who knows. Not current me’s problem.

I consider myself aromantic. Aromantic and asexual are different, you can be one or the other or both. I don’t feel the need to be in a relationship and lack romantic desires so therefore- aromantic.

I feel the need to say this a few times just so y’all get the point- THIS DOESN’T MEAN I CAN’T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP! Some asexual people just so happen to not desire a significant other- some do. A lot do, actually. While I am not chasing anyone down, I am not against being in a relationship.

I acknowledged that I might be ace when I was 15 or 16. I always thought the sexual feelings would just eventually be there- as if they are some vital part of development. Buuuut. They didn’t. SO... Uhm. I came to full terms with being ace when I was 17. But I’ve sort of always, I guess, known... I think that’s what I’m supposed to say but I really wasn’t too educated on the whole thing until I even got to high school.

I am not 100% out for a lot of reasons. This isn’t common knowledge among my family or even some of my closest friends. I’ve been close to someone since I was 13 who does not currently know I am asexual. Unless he’s reading this now in which case SURPRISE *as it rains gray, purple, white, black confetti* Some of my friends- it isn’t necessarily that they’ll reject me but that I don’t think they’ll understand to the point it would hurt our friendship. To be honest, everyone is different and being ace is important- but it isn’t all I am. Someone knowing or not knowing won’t change anything about me and our friendship means more.

I pursue intimate friendships. I tend to cling to small groups of people. Like “quality vs quantity” I guess. I’m an open book overall but I prefer being an open book to smaller amounts of people instead of a bunch-- if that makes any sense. There is a lot of potential it doesn’t.

Being ace doesn’t make friendships and feelings any easier and I don’t really know why people would think that. Then again- I don’t know why people think a lot of the things they do about asexuality or why they ask some of the things they do. I mean, even writing this I’m sitting here thinking, “I can’t believe I actually have to answer this question, why is this even important.” Or I am going through some of the things that have been said to me after coming out and I wonder what is so hard to understand. Anyway, you’ll of see why I would think that in a minute.

I have been in relationships beyond intimate friendships. I don’t really feel like going into depth about this but if you really want to know- certainly ask because I do tell. Usually with a lot of passive aggressive remarks for flavor but I do tell nonetheless.

I do not share my personal sex life (partner or no partner ;) ) with others so don’t ever ask. I’ve told you all you need to know.

I don’t identify as gay or straight or anything else that points me towards a particular gender. I can tell you that my type tends to be masculine and I don’t necessarily discriminate against genders. But as for the types of people I’ve had some serious feelings for: butchy girls, trans men, men... I think you get the point. And I would prefer to be with someone who is also asexual, I just see it going better when both parties are equally yoked and have an understanding agreement vs a compromising agreement. I think it would make everyone happier. But hey- I’ve also never really pursued a relationship with anyone who isn’t ace. Feelings for non-ace, yes. Relationship with non-ace, yes. Pursued non-ace, no... (yeah that probably tells you too much about my dating life...)

I feel alone. Like. A lot. Because while I tend to feel intimate with people without needing a relationship- they don’t. I can care a lot for people who aren’t my significant other but I don’t feel like anyone cares about me the way I care about them. And as for what it’s like to actually pursue relationships, I face the issue of losing out on a relationship because I won’t have sex. A lot of people don’t want a relationship with an ace person or they think they can change that ace person by, “being the right one,” and that just isn’t the case. In fact, a lot of ace people face the issue of sexual assault when with non-ace partners due to lack of good communication and failure to properly recognize signals (or lack there of). Anyway, I feel like no one really understands where I’m coming from and how I am feeling. Like there’s something missing and I don’t really know how to describe it so I wish I could just transfer my feelings to other people, and they magically understand. But. I can’t, so... Here I am writing about it I guess and that’s just how life goes.

yeah so I’ve never really felt like I’m missing out on sex. Logically speaking- if you were to feel that way then... Would you still identify as asexual? I am not entirely too sure about this answer. It’s probably a yes but... that just doesn’t really sit with me as being simple.

Yes... I know what sex is and how it’s done. Thanks. I really... Really could care less for your worldly wisdom and middle school health lesson. Honestly just- THINK about it (sorry this is personal, stick with me).

No I don’t take birth control so I don’t get pregnant... Like most girls don’t take birth control so they don’t get pregnant.

Why do you care if I’m a virgin or not? Why does this even matter? Who asks?! I know who asks... People ask. A lot. Like. Why is this relevant information. This may be (historically) one of my most asked questions. That and, “are you gaaay.”

Being ace is not my “identifying characteristic” and if anyone thinks it is- I would prefer to try to inform them or distance myself from them. Like this isn’t the most important thing going on in my life 24/7. And fuck no, I’m not (will not be) your token ace friend. I am a girl who just so happens to be ace. This is (btw) why I can’t believe I have to answer some of the questions I do (if you recall from a few answers ago).

When I dress in what is considered “sexually provocative clothing,” it is for my personal fashion (like it probably would be for anyone else)- not provocative purposes. I like my boobs, what can I say?

My friends really confuse what it means to be asexual. Having to re-explain this to new people is really frustrating and anxious because I never know how people will react or how I will react to those reactions. I am very open minded of what other people think but to me it should be really simple--- why should my sex life even matter all that much for it to make or break a friendship.

I support marriage and if I find the right person it actually is in my plans to get married one day. Children of my own however-- I am not too entirely interested in having them.

I definitely consistently imply that I’m ace, but some people lack the education or understanding to make the connection. And that’s fine. But I do “come out” formally to most of my friends. It doesn’t usually just lowkey drop in a conversation. I usually make a decision on rather or not to come out. It isn’t advertised on my public social medias, I don’t scream that I am ace when I am around friends I’m not out to. It’s a moment for me each and every time because... what if? What if they don’t like that? What if they really don’t know what the fuck this is? What if they say, “you’re not a plant.” Or assume I’m just some kind of robot?

Though, as someone who identifies as asexual I am technically apart of the LGBTQA+ Community- I don’t personally get that involved outside of being an ally of sorts to my friends. I guess I just feel like I get a lot of pressure to answer to additional sexual identities like “You’re asexual- do you like men or women?” Like. I don’t and that’s my answer. Why does it matter? But I have a lot of friends within the community who totally respect that too so-- depends on the day and phase of the moon, I guess.

I am not ashamed of my sexual orientation. But it’s my business and it’s for me to talk about. I don’t want to be outed by anyone else. This isn’t a card anyone else gets to pull, a joke to flaunt, a topic token they get to just throw around. My orientation is a very serious aspect of my life. It isn’t funny. It isn’t yours

My best advice for someone who doesn’t understand asexuality is to just ask. Don’t make assumptions. Make an effort to better understand especially if you have an ace friend in your life. We are still people with very real human emotions facing problems both just as unique and common as anyone else.

Some of these are answers to questions I personally get a lot or things I wish people knew/understood about me, and some are answers to questions I found online that other ace people get a lot since I do have a history of having very accepting and understanding people in my life over this issue (mostly other members of the LGBTQA+ Community). If you have any additional questions--- I would love to answer them but as I said my sex life as far as what I have done and will do with or without a partner is personal and I don’t care to keep people who don’t need to know informed (you would be surprised so put that eyebrow down, I know the stats). Just as I don’t really care to hear about other people’s sex life (please and thank you). Find another ace to ask if that’s the question.

Everyone is different. What I have shared are not guidelines for all ace people. There are many different kinds of people within this particular community and they are all coming from different experiences, orientations, and situations. For example- some ace people have and enjoy sex. I just so happen to not... It’s very much about the individual as most things tend to be. I hope this helps people understand a little about me or maybe someone you know. Thank much for reading! Continue on with your daily lives, disasters, existence, etc!

[icharchivist]

It is kind of weird Lavi spent 2 years on the Order and Doug was the closest thing to a genuine friend from his perspective. Even then he still hated/looked down on humans even if he maybe thought Lenalee and the scientist weren't that bad. Makes you really wonder why Allen in such a short amount of time made such a huge impact on Lavi's mindset. It's not like Allen is the only kind person who fights despite his suffering. It might be Lavi is aware people block out the pain of others in order -

2 to function (pretty much what he did) for their own selfish reasons. Allen might have been the first person he met who literally can't do that. He has to stare at the hell around him every day. Even then all Allen wants is to help people and turn his own torment into compassionate strength. That kind of thing is very different from even all the other Order members outlook/reason for fighting. I think all kid Lavi really wanted was to see beautiful things but he got the ugliness instead.

Okay before replying if you want i once wrote a.... 6k long meta about Lavi specifically? and we extended on the thing you mention on this ask too (nothing against you btw lord knows I post a hundred of those metas all the time there’s no way people would dig this far. It’s just that whatever i reply there i’m almost certain i have articulated it better in those meta if you want to read it. Although it was before i reread the manga so there might be things that aren’t completely fresh there.)

I do think it’s a lot of that though: of Allen not being to stare away, to distract himself from the horror he’s seeing.

The thing is that Lavi still had seen 49 wars in 12 years of service as a Bookman. That’s a lot and probably enough to lose any sense of sensibility toward people. I think he probably saw everything around as a hopeless cause, of those people dying for nothing. But i also think that he did warm up to some people at time, he just never actually considered he was doing so. 

Doug is especially not worthy because in the novel, Doug repeats that at first he didn’t want to be close to Lavi, that Lavi freaked him out, so that Lavi ended up insisting a lot to try to understand why the good natured guy was so uncomfortable around him. And Doug made it clear that “we can see people’s soul in their eyes and yours is completely empty”, so that he knew Laavi was lying. Which left an impact on Lavi and had therefore often him check over his own mask at least around Doug - because Doug saw right through his mask.

So when Doug points out that Lavi is getting his mask loose around Doug, Lavi is forced to face what it implies in regards to his Bookman’s duty. 

In a way i think it was the difference between everyone else, Doug, and later Allen: before no one was challenging Lavi’s mask. So Lavi didn’t have to mind and wonder where that put him on his caring scale.Doug always challenged Lavi’s perception of his mask, which might have ended up with him taking extra care trying to befriend Doug, like a challenge almost. And Lavi did soften a lot about the fact Doug had a sweet compassionate good heart that he extended to everyone around him, even on the field, even people who wouldn’t remember him. And I think this sort of kindness would have struck to Lavi more than the sort of camaradery back at the Order, especially when he’s paying extra attention.

When it comes to Allen multiple things happened at once to push Lavi to question a lot of things. First Lavi compared Lavi to Doug before he learned Doug’s “kindness” ended up pushing him into calling an Akuma. Upon meeting Allen, directly after Lavi had to kill Doug, Allen mentions that his curse specifically comes from making an Akuma out of his father.

Lavi was grieving Doug in his own way. And i think for him it started to just antagonize Allen in his own mind because “how damn foolish”. That this is specifically the type of kindness that goes out first in the war. That Lavi dared to let his guard down around Doug and Doug was so kind that he ended up just as stupid. 

He projected Doug onto Allen, and therefore he was harsher on him. The guy created an Akuma. The only principle of an Akuma should probably escape Lavi completely, to grief and love someone so badly you can actually bring them back? Him who has no attachement, the whole thing must be a hard sell. And to see people give themselves up to it? How foolish. 

There is also the whole thing about Allen being able to see the Akuma’s souls that Lavi is jealous about. he’s explicit about it: for him, for every exorcist, they have to trust no one. Allen has the luxery to trust anyone as he pleases. Something Lavi could hold against him. Not to mention in the novel there is a huge description of Lavi coming to term with Doug becoming an Akuma by specifically pointing out to “those empty eyes”. Note that it is still very fresh for Lavi! The Doug incident happened right before he was sent to Rewinding Town.

In fact in the whole intro arc of Lavi once you have those lense on, he seems to disregard Allen a lot. When Allen gets kidnapped by the townfolks to face Krory and everyone asks Lavi to go check him since he has the hammer, Lavi is actually very recluent and doesn’t want to do it because he doesn’t care. 

The whole first arc, Lavi was more likely building up that Allen’s kindness was stupid, that he was lucky, that he took his situation for granted, that he was foolish enough to make an Akuma, that his feelings had guided him to such weakness and that said feelings now are holding him back to fight others humans (Lavi calls  Allen a baby when he refuses the idea of killing Road), he’s being naive. So naive it is dangerous, and this is the very kind of danger Lavi had trained against his whole life. The very sort of things he can see Allen do and just scolf because how stupid.

Until he sees Elliade’s soul.

Lavi is horrified by what he sees. He mentions later to Komui that he thought Allen was lucky, but what he was seeing was just hell on Earth. Suddenly it wasn’t that Allen was kind because he was too naive to know how cruel the world was, but it was that Allen was kind because he knew exactly how cruel the world was and he refused to be part of it. That Allen saw hell all the time and he would smile and carry on.

Another thing that has a lot of weird focus on Lavi is actually how he reacts when Allen talks Krory out of suicide. There is this whole feeling as the audience in this scene where you know that Allen is projecting because he himself killed the Akuma of a person he loved. So when Allen analyses perfectly how Krory wants to die and tells him how to keep living, with the way Lavi looks at them? Lavi knows exactly what Allen is talking about.

And suddenly there is a whole new thing he had never considered about Allen opening up.

And the reason it became this important later is that it took Lavi by surprise by going to full on distaint over Allen’s behavior to full blown admiration in the course of a few chapters. The moment he realized that Allen wasn’t misguided but had much more understanding of the situation than himself.

But it’s not like Lavi got it until Allen died. And there was multiple things there too: that first, Lavi feels guilty of not having saved Allen from the orde of Akuma that dragged him to Suman and then to his doom (as emphacized with Lavi having a flashback to it when he yells at Lenalee “we have done everything we could to save him”.) Then Lavi gets to see all of Allen’s final moments from Timcanpy and it is made clear that even near death, even as he was being tortured, Allen priviligized giving hope to others people. He sacrificed himself to save Suman’s innocence. 

It’s after Allen’s death that Lavi starts to feel it weight on him that what they lost with Allen was more important than that.

But also, the point i wanted to make (i know, i talk too much) is that it also is another time he had to confront his mask, because Bookman reminded him that he got carried away.

The thing is that more than the emotions Allen made Lavi feels, it is a question that those emotions were so visible and he didn’t even realize he was there (the anger against Lenalee reads as anger against his own emotions too - why would she mourns while he cannot? He swallows back his tears, he feels the same guilt, but he was never taught to mourn) : but the moment Bookman beats him up and specifically tells him “do you take yourself for an exorcist? You are not one of them. You are not supposed to get attached.” is the sudden recaller that specifically, Lavi’s mask was breaking, that he was feeling stuff.

And that’s why next scene is him looking at the Ace of Spade he picked from Allen, an emotional attachement, and think about “we are not their allies... that’s right, a Bookman has no need for a heart.” He thinks about it like that specifically because Bookman called him out.

The POINt i’m trying to make is that the reason Doug and Allen left such an impact on Lavi is not much that they did, but that Lavi was forced to acknowledge how they both go tunder his skin. He was forced to think specifically about what that brought him in comparaison to others.

I would be inclined to think Lenalee left an emotional impact on Lavi, whenever he wants it or not, which is why we see him remembering his reaction to seeing Lenalee crying in front of coffins. But he never had to acknowledge it. At no time was he challenged by teh fact the bound started, until Allen’s death where his feelings were all over the place and he started to question how good he was at keeping the mask up. And too much loss at once was too much for him to handle.

And all of that to come back: yes to what you conclude your ask with. Because in the end Allen was not the “naive type who will get swallowed by the darkness of the world” but he was litterally the “kind and strong type that helps everyone up even if he gets to fade away into the light to do so”. Lavi’s opinion shifted moreso because he knows of the horrors in life, and he underestimated Allen, and Allen knows those horros as well and Lavi is in awe by how despite knowing all of that, Allen never cease to be kind. That perhaps both of them have very fake smiles, but Lavi’s is so he wouldn’t care too much about people, while Allen’s is for people not to be too concerned about him because he cares too much for others.

I think those are things Lavi ended up understanding.

But it took 1) Allen to shift around his entiere way to piercive him in one arc, 2) the acknowledgement of how his mask was failing him 3) perhaps even more specifically having came out as hardened by the experience with Doug trying not to repeat his caring mistake with Allen who was similar to him and failing, for Lavi to really understand the impact it had on him

So anyway i ended up rambling a lot but yeah. *takes a deep breath* Lavi is a mess. 

.. god i don’t even know if i make any sense i got carried away. But yeah. Lavi man. Lavi.

[stalwartsandall]

Still Pretty Podcast - Chosen

So, I watched Still Pretty's Chosen video and, in true nitpicky form, I'm not going to discuss any of the host's interesting and articulate insights... I'm just gonna latch onto the bits I disagree with and gnaw at them like a rabid dog. And so, a counterpoint in two whingy parts...

Part One - Presumption of Masculine Entitlement

Here's the section I disagreed with most strongly, it's Lani's reaction to Buffy's scenes with Angel and Spike:

The possessiveness and entitlement each them feels to Buffy is beneath both of them. Angel and Buffy are not together. Spike and Buffy are not together. Buffy has promised neither of them her heart nor her fidelity. They are entitled to neither from her, nor are they entitled to explanations or excuses. The presumptive male entitlement to female minds and body is a problem in our culture, so I wanna walk through this carefully.

You know what, it's a nice, tidy, patriarchy-punishing interpretation of the text. Lani's reading paints Buffy (our hero, our icon) as a woman dealing admirably with the immature, presuming bullshit of a couple of dudes, both of whom seem to think they deserve a piece of her. And Buffy's defiant refusal to cede to masculine entitlement would be a wonderful message for the show, especially in the finale.

But it's just not the reading I get. I don't see masculine entitlement; I see three people in confusing romantic circumstances. And, if I've got to pick sides, if I'm forced to call out anyone's bad behaviour here, I'm going to call out Buffy's. Buffy is the one who ducks and obfuscates with both guys. Buffy is the one who is physically intimate with both of them and then engages in semantic gymnastics to avoid discussing that intimacy.

Let's start with Angel. Here's the full exchange:

BUFFY - If I lose, if this thing gets past Sunnydale, then it's days—maybe hours—before the rest of the world goes. I need a second front, and I need you to run it.

ANGEL - OK... that's one reason. What's the other?

BUFFY - There is no other.

ANGEL - Is it Spike? You're not telling me something. And his scent, I remember it pretty well.

BUFFY - You vampires. Did anybody ever tell you the whole smelling people thing's a little gross?

ANGEL - Is he your boyfriend?

BUFFY - Is that your business?

ANGEL - You in love with him? OK, maybe I'm outta line, but this is kind of a curve ball for me. I mean, we are talking about Spike here.

BUFFY - It's different. He's different. He has a soul now.

ANGEL - Oh. Well.

BUFFY - What?

ANGEL - That's great. (mumbling to himself) Everyone's got a soul now.

BUFFY - He'll make a difference.

ANGEL - (mumbling) You know, I started it. The whole having a soul. Before it was all the cool new thing.

BUFFY - Oh, my God. Are you 12?

ANGEL - I'm getting the brush off for Captain Peroxide. It doesn't necessarily bring out the champion in me.

BUFFY - You're not getting the brush off. Are you just gonna come here and go all Dawson on me every time I have a boyfriend?

ANGEL - Aha! (points) Boyfriend!

BUFFY - He's not. But...he is in my heart.

ANGEL - That'll end well.

Gather readers, for this will not happen often; I'm going to defend Angel. Sure he's petty and snippy, but he's not overly pushy or controlling. He asks questions and calls Buffy on her second front lie. He's jealous and a bit childish but, when Buffy tells him to leave, he grumbles good-naturedly and he leaves.

It's not entitlement to voice an opinion about Buffy's choice of boyfriend. When people we love make decisions we think are dangerous or ill-advised—like say dating a creature we know to be an amoral mass murderer—it's perfectly reasonable to question them.

Angel displays jealousy, he wants something he doesn't have, but that's not the same as being possessive. He doesn't imply that he has a right to Buffy's mind or body. The closest he gets to expressing entitlement to Buffy is this line: I'm getting the brush off for Captain Peroxide. And, to be fair to him, that's exactly what's happening. His offer of help is being rejected because Buffy's involved with Spike.

Lastly, it is not possessive nor entitled for Angel to want to know Buffy's relationship status because... he and Buffy just kissed. A kiss is obviously not a declaration of commitment nor a promise of fidelity but it sure as shit means Angel's within his rights to ask about Buffy's relationship status. She doesn't have to answer but he's allowed to ask without being labelled possessive.

Ok, let's move on, to Spike...

So, as Lani points out, Buffy and Spike are not together. They are not in a relationship. They haven't promised fidelity.

But they are in the midst of something. It's ill-defined and non-binding but it's not platonic friendship. The previous night they shared a bed. They held each other and gazed into each other's eyes. Buffy has platonic friendships with Giles and Xander; she would not have asked either one of them to take her to bed and hold her in that way.

And Buffy acknowledges that it was not simple comfort and friendship. When Spike offers to gloss over the incident, offers to strip it of meaning and significance, Buffy chases after him and stops him. She demands that he declare himself and then she tells him she was there with him that night. And she ends their conversation by suggesting that, after the battle with the First, they might discuss/identify/pursue their relationship.

And then she walks out and kisses another man.

Does she cheat on Spike? - no. Is it messy and complicated? - yes. Is Spike's momentary annoyance and jealousy an example of unreasonable entitlement? - hell no!

What's interesting is reversing the sexes of the protagonists and reviewing the chain of events:

A man is depressed, defeated, alone and afraid.

A woman (a friend, an ex, a co-worker, an ally) seeks to comfort him. She tells him she's asking for nothing in return but wants him to know the depth of her admiration for him and how wholly and unwaveringly she loves him. The man cries, is touched and grateful.

He asks the woman to share his bed. No sex, he just wants her to hold him, to comfort him, to give him strength. She does. They lie in bed; holding, stroking, gazing.

The following night they see each other again and they're uncomfortable and unsure where they stand. The woman gives the man a clear out, tells him that emotions were running high and they can dismiss the night in bed together as simply comfort.

The man says no, says he wants the truth, not mixed messages. He demands that they don't ignore the significance of the night.

The woman reluctantly lays it all out: she's in love with him and feeling utterly vulnerable, terrified that she'll be hurt.

Man says: don't be afraid; the night was meaningful for me too.

Woman says: really, what does that mean, can we define what we have?

Man says: do we have to... there's so much going on right now, maybe later. The woman says ok.

The man leaves and, within hours, passionately kisses his ex.

Then he returns to the woman and tries to downplay the kiss as 'a hello'. He dismisses the woman's jealousy as 'crap' and makes a joke about how hot it would be if the two women wrestled in oil for him.

Then he asks if they can share a bed again.

The woman is jealous and demands that she not to be whacked back and forth like a rubber ball.

Does anyone think: Ugh! How entitled is that woman! What right has she got to question the man?

Part Two - A Flat Note

This one isn't so much a gripe as a 'wow, it's amazing how divergent interpretations can be!' This is Lani's comment on Spike's sacrifice on the Hellmouth:

My only regret, that he tells Buffy she doesn't love him, when clearly she does. Spike has grown a lot over season seven and some people hate it—I know, they want their bad boy back—but to deny him this moment of growth, where he can accept love that is given and return it through his sacrifice, is a flat note.

I actually had to listen to that a couple of times because it ran so contrary to my interpretation of the scene that I initially couldn't comprehend Lani's meaning.

The thing is... I don't think it's clear that Buffy loves Spike. In fact I think it's wildly unclear. Buffy's behaviour towards Spike has always been been hugely contradictory and changeable. Her actions in the immediate lead up to the battle in the Hellmouth are especially difficult to interpret. Most tellingly, her 'I love you' is nowhere near full-throated and is ambiguous as hell.

So, I didn't read Spike's gentle 'No, you don't' as lack of character growth. In fact, to me, it felt like the exact opposite. Spike is the character who spent seasons five and six demanding that Buffy admit her attraction to him and love for him. I think it's a sign of his growth that he can (a) recognise and calmly accept her lack of love and (b) continue to love her and be willing to sacrifice himself regardless.

I am an ardent Spuffy shipper. I wanted the finale to include declarations of undying love. I wanted them to fall into each others arms and make eleventy-billion Spuffy babies.

But—based on the episode that came before—what Whedon gave us was better. It was fitting. It was true to Buffy. It was true to Spike. It was a surprise that felt entirely natural and unforced. It managed to neatly and simultaneously fulfil two seemingly contradictory statements: Cassie's 'She'll tell you' prediction in Help and Spike's 'I know you'll never love me' prediction in The Gift. Mostly though, it's an example of Spike (Love's Eternal Bitch) kindly and gently accepting his fate. It is, in fact, the exact opposite of the masculine entitlement Lani was bemoaning at the top of the episode. It's melancholy and pretty at the same time. It's many things but it's definitely not a lack of character growth.

BTW - I’m consolidating content on Tumblr at the mo; apologies to anyone getting this (and few subsequent posts) a second time.