#btw this is the first time i’ve drawn anything in like a YEAR

[galenti]

discovered epic the musical and it has completely taken over my life lately so here’s my odysseus

[xskyll]

Izuku: Is this the second time I’ve hurt your hand? Gosh, Todoroki-kun, I’m so sorry. It’s like I’m some sort of…hand crusher, or something.

Shouto: What an absolutely silly concept.

Pg 1-30

Prev / Next

[cowboyinternist]

does anybody else make up birthdays for their favorite characters or is that just me

[l-cereta]

-

[modernmanblues]

challenge! write a nice message for each of your fave mutuals! feel free to tag them if you want.

You know, this has been sitting in my inbox for ages. Reason being is that 1) I really don’t like to pick favourites and 2) I wanted this to be meaningful so, seeing that we are heading towards the holidays and for those of us in Yankee land, are currently bathing in the season for showing gratitude, I would like to take this opportunity to show my gratitude to these lovely darlings who have moved me in some form or another (not in any particular order btw):

1. @burn-on-the-flame m’lady, your friendship has meant so much to me since the time we became mutuals. At the time, I was just beginning to relearn the ins and outs of tumblr after being dormant here for so long, but you were one of the people who showed me that it’s ok to vent about everything and anything on here. You’ve made me feel at ease about being myself on here and that has meant a lot to me. Thank you so much for being a great friend, and for always encouraging me to just be myself on tumblr. I love you so much, Mrs. Tucker!!

2. @freezerfreys also an OG fave of mine!! my dear your fashion, your musical talents, your charisma, your charm and the way you’re so confident in your own skin. Forgive me for saying this but I feel like I’ve just described all the attributes that attracted me to Eric Stewart from the very beginning but all that aside, those are also the reasons that keep me drawn to you as your mutual. Your genuineness, the way you keep it real on here, I love it all. I aspire to be you, my dear lady frey. You are a literal boss lady, I hope to be one the first to get an autographed copy of your first worldwide hit single!

3. @clockworkfairy thank you so much for the many times you have checked in on me. You have shone a light in times when I saw nothing but darkness on here. It’s so comforting to find people like you that restore a special kind of equilibrium in people’s lives. It’s what you’ve done to me, and I can’t thank you enough for all the times you’ve brought sunshine into my life when there was rain

4. @faeriejones you are an absolute sweetheart and I feel lucky to have crossed paths with you. Your warmth, kindness and very loving personality are so refreshing to see especially with how ruthless social media can be at times. Amber, with how little we’ve interacted, I still cherish the moments we have had to bond over common interests and gush over them! We need more of those type of interactions in the world. Pure fun, you know what I mean? You’re the kind of person I would frolick in a field of tulips with and have a laugh about it at the end. Thank you for being such a great friend, and for always being so thoughtful. It’s not much, but to me the effect is massive 💗

5. @channel-swimmer Loller!! I think you of all people on here probably know me best being friends with me on ig. If it’s one thing I’d like for you to take away from my ig stories it’s that I deliver the same fun and jovial energy irl as I do here on tumblr. I must admit I have way too much irl than I do on social media, and that’s the way it should be but anyway I digress. I am still so very happy to have found someone who is as passionate and charmed by 10cc as I am. I’m also grateful to be getting feedback from you on my fic Chances I do appreciate all that. You’re an epic bass player and before you I bow down, sir. I am not worthy!

6. @starrybluez Secret Rocker Santa 2023 brought me to you and it’s the reason I joined a second year of it so for that, I am so very grateful to you. Thank you for staying in touch with me and for all the great laughs (may I remind you of our Marc Bolan/Ringo Starr stint). Anyway, your brilliant Dee and I hope we get to share many more great laughs.

7. @lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar I love the way you are with Russ, because you remind me of how I am with Eric. Like, WE ARE THE EXACT SAME. Like when you mention that you keep track of Russ’ activities on other social media platforms is how I am about monitoring Eric’s whereabouts on ig or Spotify (like I just NEED to know when that man is dropping a new hit single). All that to the side, I love how passionate you are about your favourite artist because like you, I have also found the one artist that has made a major major MAJOR impact in my life and that is none other than my Eric Michael Stewart. He is my greatest inspiration as a musician myself, and as an individual. He reminds me to be a better version of myself, as I imagine Russ does with you. I’m just glad to have found people like you who look up to one artist as a symbol for hope, joy and happiness. And I’m sure that’s what Russ and Eric would want us to feel and experience, love.

8. @veryfancydoilies you are my second mutual that I gained through secret rocker santa and from the very beginning I knew you had this gentleness about you that just captivated me. Thank you for having such wonderful interactions with me and for gushing over cute 60s/70s guys with me. You’re such a sweetheart and I’m so pleased we’ve crossed paths 🩷🩷🩷🩷

9. @milkyway-ashes Like I said before, you are one of my absolute favourite people on here! You’re so knowledgeable about bands that I only listened to on occasion before you telling me a whole lot more about them! I’m always delighted to see you on my dash! You’re just so sweet and darling, I will always cherish the times we have had to interact with one another 🩵🩵🩵🩵

10. @mrsrogerwaters I love that we stay in touch and all those times we’ve talked about PF! Honestly, you’re probably one of the reasons they became my number 3 artist for this year, haha! Anyway, thank you for being so thoughtful always. Roggie’s a lucky guy, isn’t he? 🥰❤️

If I have forgotten anyone, I do apologise but this list is long enough as it is but that’s not to say that I don’t appreciate every single one of you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you to each and every one of you for the interactions, the kind words, the thoughtful gestures, etc. I cherish all of it and I wouldn’t be carrying on doing what I do on tumblr were it not for all of you, so thank you thank you thank you loads! xxxxxx

[beemynumberone]

All The Colours (2/7)

-> In which Idol!Minghao and Actress!OC convey their heartfelt messages through colours.

-> slowwwwburn romance. friends to lovers. no smut.

-> constructive feedback is always appreciated!

All pictures are from Pinterest, I do not own them.

Writer’s note: Hi! I am writing these scenarios to placate my active imagination and hopefully make someone’s day/night. I do not intend to hurt anyone/anything through this fic.

Thank you for picking up my story and happy reading!

Masterlist

*btw, Yile is pronounced as Yi Le (in Chinese pronunciation), it is not supposed to rhyme with Kyle

Part 2: Yellow

Yellow. A colour to symbolise hope and in Chinese culture, royalty and power.

Minghao toyed with the idea as he went back home. If Yile found self expression through her makeup and outfit, could he? As corny as it was, as he gazed into her eyes, he felt drawn to the stars that sparkled in them. The hope they shone invigorated him to recall the passion and sincerity he started his journey as an idol with. Of course he never lost that desire to perform, but when you’re 9 years into the industry, the “first love” does fade slightly.

And now, that hope and will was back. Minghao felt ready to jump to high heaven- actually no. But he was really pumped to try emoting with his fashion!

Minghao opened up his personal schedule. It seemed like there was a fashion show happening next month. Perfect to showcase some fashionista individuality. Problem was, he sighed, that Jeonghan was coming along too. Knowing Jeonghan, he would choose to wear black any day as it seemed practical and efficient. However, if Minghao wore yellow and Jeonghan wore black, they would make the headlines as “The-Idiots-from-that-13+3+1-member-boy-group-who-wore-bee-cosplay-at-a-fashion-show”. Minghao had a headache just thinking of the clashing colours.

Minghao made up his mind. He would convince his hyung to wear another colour. Something that preferably matched yellow. He looked at his watch, 1am. It was late, he would have to ask him tomorrow.

Yile’s POV:

Yile fanned her flaming cheeks and tried to force cool air down her lungs. “You what? With who?” Xinhui was badgering her non-stop since the event ended. Yile rolled her eyes jokingly. Xinhui had seen the interaction between her and Minghao at the food table and had winked at Yile. From then on, Yile knew her plan of sleeping a good 7 hours was futile.

Yile shared an apartment with Xinhui. She was an absolute joy to have, but this was one of those times when Yile wished she lived alone.

“So what did you say to him?” Xinhui egged.

“So he said hi then I snapped out of my daze. Then he complimented my dress and makeup. So I complimented him back.” Yile recounted.

“And what did you tell him?” Xinhui surely could be a great journalist if she tried, Yile thought.

“So I told him he looked dashing.” Yile replied.

“What are you, an English lady in the Victorian era?” Xinhui teased, “Will you be writing a letter to this dashing young gentleman then Yile?”

“Of course not, Minghao’s just an industry acquaintance.”

“Look at you saying his name!” Xinhui ooo-ed and squealed. Yile sighed nostalgically. She felt like she was in school again.

Minghao’s POV:

The next day, Minghao had to go early to prep for the Going Seventeen episode. After the scissors paper stone game that ensued during the last session, he volunteered was forced to go first to get his makeup done. He sat in the makeup chair with heavy-lidded eyes and dozed off.

“Wang Yile”

Minghao’s heart sprung to attention. “What do you want?” He looked around, annoyed.

“So rude for a loverboy.” Junhui teased.

“What do you mean loverboy? We’re just…We just talked for 5 seconds then went on our merry way.” Minghao said disgruntled.

Junhui had a Cheshire smile on his face that spelled trouble. “Keep telling that to yourself, Minghao. I’ve never seen you so happy after going to an event before.”

“Who is happy?” Seungcheol entered the makeup room, Jeonghan following closely behind.

“Nobody. Don’t take what Jun says seriously.” Minghao sulked.

Jeonghan seeing his younger member all pouty, guessed it must have been to do with the other boy’s teasing. He motioned the two to keep silent and took Minghao to the waiting room.

“You alright?” Jeonghan’s words were a warm embrace and a gentle ointment to Minghao’s sore wounds. “Yeah, I feel better now. Thanks hyung.”

“As I always reiterate, when you’re ready please let me know what is happening so I can help you or even just support you. I know you’ll do it at your own discretion but I hope that it would not take long. Our team is bonded by trust and you know you are very important to us.” Jeonghan encouraged and Minghao nodded. He was extremely grateful to have such an astute and empathetic friend.

After the Going Seventeen filming, Minghao caught up with Jeonghan. “You know we have that fashion show next month right?” “Yeah, what about it?” Jeonghan smiled curiously.

“So like Ikindawanttowearyellow and Ihopedyoucouldlikenotwearblack.” Minghao could slap himself, why was his mouth moving faster than his brain?

“So you want to wear what?”

“Yellow”

“And you hope I could not wear black?”

Minghao nodded eagerly.

“Why though? We would look like the best bee cosplay in the whole fashion show. Such an aesthetic if you ask me. We would be unforgettable. More attention for us!” Jeonghan retorted.

Minghao sincerely hoped he was joking.

Yile’s POV:

“Yile! You’ve received an invitation to the XXX fashion show. It’s happening next month!” Yile’s manager exclaimed over the phone. Yile’s bleary eyes opened as she digested her manager’s words. “What?” Yile burst out laughing. “What a coincidence, my sister is working for that show as a makeup artist.”

“Good to know Yile, and as always, please prepare your outfit for the event and run it by us by next week. Our fashion manager has decided to hand you the reigns of curating your outfits. Says that you have a unique style she wants to explore more of.” They said their goodbyes and hung up.

As a curious cat in the age of social media, Yile scrolled through brand XXX’s Instagram page. The most recent post was of a sneak peak into the photoshoot of the brand’s ambassadors - Seventeen’s Jeonghan and Minghao. Her jaw dropped.

Minghao POV:

“Please hyung, we cannot look like bees at the fashion show. I will not condone it.” Minghao pleaded.

Jeonghan sighed, “No can do Minghao. Unless…”. He winked.

Minghao groaned, “Hyung, it’s really nothing. I just met Wang Yile, an actress at the social networking event 2 days ago and said hi. That’s all.”

“Do you want to get to know her more then?” Jeonghan questioned.

Minghao thought about it. He did want to know more about her interesting character. It was lonely being the pink-and-purple in the sea of grey overalls. (Iykyk) He could envision deep conversations with Yile about fashion and self-expression and meaning and… Wait was he imagining conversations with her?!

Minghao replied stately, “Yes, I want to.”

Jeonghan smiled at his seriousness. If his younger “brother” wanted to get to know Wang Yile more, he would make it happen.

“What colour should I wear then Minghao?”

“Navy maybe? You could try brown but we might look like a sunflower.”

“Who doesn’t want to look like a sunflower?”

“Hyung…”

“Navy it is then.”

Yellow. A colour that now represented Minghao’s hope to be fashion buddies or even friends if you will, with Yile.

Yile’s POV:

Yile sifted through the online brochure her fashion manager sent her. Humming to Our Dawn Is Hotter Than Day, she stopped and looked at a dress. Its outline was simple, which was perfect since it didn’t steal attention from the models. But it would do the trick of enhancing her gracefulness and maintaining a clean image from the “mistress rumours” that came from her prior acting role. It would also do the trick of looking more open to talking to a certain someone.

Yile called her manager. “Hi unnie, for the show, I’m thinking of wearing the pink aline dress. I know it looks on the plainer side but hear me out, what about adding gemstones for embellishment. Yep, that sounds good. Thank you for arranging this! Love ya, bye!”

[komotionlessqueenmm]

Hi there

I know you said you don’t do requests and I suppose this isn’t technically a request but I’ve been wondering if you’d ever write something with Ivan Drago and a female reader who’s insecure about her body (this is kind of a self insert ngl). Like, how would he act? Would he constantly assure her that she’s pretty and would he pay special attention to certain parts of her body she doesn’t like during lovemaking? I’d personally love to read something like that but it’s totally up to you if you wanna write it.

Keep up the good work, love your stories btw ❤️

Omg hell yes! (Why didn't I think of this?) I'm insecure af so this is also self insert af on my part. Enjoy!

Headcanon/Preference # 32

Picture & Gif NOT mine.

Year posted - 2023

*So I've got this coworker that I get along with well. And he's a muscly guy that's into plus size women, and we've talked about that sorta stuff a lot. So I'm using his insight about why a guy like that, would be attracted to a bigger girl. He'll never see this but hey shout out to him. Also a real story might just come out of this in time, but for now enjoy these headcanons.

✨Ivan loves his plus size sweetheart~

🌹 When Ivan first met you he was immediately drawn to you like a magnet. He'd never seen a woman like you in Soviet Russia, and you looked like a pure goddess in his eyes.

🌹 When he finally got the chance to touch you for the first time. He was instantly smitten, your so soft and squeezable. He's not used to that, and he's finding that he's obsessed with the contrast.

🌹 Once you're together Ivan will spend hours worshipping you from head to toe. Every single inch of you is paradise to him. But his favorite part? Your soft tummy.

🌹 There's just something beautiful about your soft plump belly. It's his favorite thing to caress and kiss, and often times his favorite place to lay his head. And one day he hopes he'll get to see it swell more with his child.

🌹 On a bad day when you were feeling particularly down about your pudgy body, Ivan took the time to explain to you why he loves your supple body so much.

🌹 Everything in his life until now has been hard and rough, from his work, to his home life, his environment, and so forth. Finding you was like an oasis to him.

🌹 When you try comparing yourself to his ex-wife, he immediately stops you. Making you chuckle by telling you she was like a skeleton, and nowhere near as cozy and lovable as you are.

🌹 During intimacy Ivan shows you what love making really means, his words of praise, his adoring touch that leaves fire in its wake, and his hunger to show you just how much he wants you makes you dizzy.

🌹 If anyone says anything bad about you while Ivan is around, odds are he'll kick there ass, or at the very least he'll berate them. Ultimately making them apologize no matter what tactic he uses.

🌹 If he's not around, and only learns about it when you break down and tell him about it. He's pulling you into his arms and assuring you that they don't know a single thing about what their missing with someone as amazing as you. (Making a mental note to scare the shit out of them next time he sees them.)

🌹 You got stretch marks? Ivan will trace them idly, and commit them all to memory, mapping out the span of them as if it were vital.

🌹 Got cellulite? He'll caress every inch, nuzzle into it, and all around worship it. Explaining that it makes you more you, and that much more beautiful.

🌹 Not a big fan of how pudgy your face is? Ivan is cupping your cheeks. Looking into your eyes with so much love, as he tells you how cute your chubby cheeks are. And to him you are still small, as his hands can easily cup your cheeks.

🌹 Got big boobs? He fucking adores them, he adores you! There big and round and soft, the perfect place to lay his head at night when you cuddle. Plus there fun to play with not gonna lie. (and not just sexually, but that's a plus too.)

🌹 Not a fan of the size or shape of your butt? Are you kidding? Ivan is obsessed with smacking your ass every single chance he gets, doesn't matter who's around or where you are!

🌹 Worried you'll never fit in his shirts? Haha that's funny! Ivan is huge, you'll fit in his shirts just fine. Maybe not swimming in it, but it'll fit comfortably.

🌹 Ivan grows obsessed with making sure you're well fed, and simply watching you eat. It makes him feel like he is providing for you well, and that makes him very happy. (Plus you look adorable when you do a happy little food dance.)

🌹 Once he convinced you to sit on his face, though you had agreed anxiously, you still refused to actually sit down, and instead hovered over him. That wasn't gonna fly, so Ivan pulled you flush against his face, and gave you the best head you've ever experienced in your life.

🌹 Anytime you act as if you'll crush him, maybe saying he'll strain or hurt himself picking you up. He'll prove you wrong again and again, when he just hoists you up as if you weighed nothing. If anything he takes those worries as a challenge, and he'll never fail in proving you wrong.

🌹 The first time you wore a sexy lace piece for him, he was practically drooling. Needless to say the lace was ruined in his nearly feral haste to have you. But he happily bought you more, a lot more.

🌹 Within a year of being with Ivan, and him chipping away at your insecurities. You become the confident goddess you were meant to be! And he's so fucking proud of you, he's always showing you off, and praising you.

🌹 Ivan doesn't want you to change for anyone, not even him. He loves you just the way you are, it's what drew him to you in the first place. And he's beyond honored for not only getting to love you, but to show you just how sexy you truly are.

Buy me a coffee sometime? ☕️

(Click the coffee for my Kofi link, IT'S NOT NECESSARY BTW.)

*Hope this was satisfactory!

[chimkin-samich]

Honestly, what started your interest with these specific game characters? (Btw, I don't know if this has been asked before or not since I'm quite new to you and your comics! Amazing work btw.)

Also what peeked your guy's drawing and writing interests? It would be interesting to know how you guys got to this point. 😁

(It's also creepy how the ask thing is just like: "Go ahead, put anything." XD)

It has not actually been asked before! Your the first, so for anyone who’s interested in some Feral and Sly lore well feel free to click the read more since it’s kinda long lol

For the interest in Sun/Moon/Eclipse, Feral was honestly the first one to get drawn in, she has been a long time fan of fnaf, likes to brag about how good she was at the first few games (she is I’ve seen it lol) so her getting interested in SB was obvious, she especially like this one for it highly interactive gameplay

I on the other hand knew of fnaf but I was never in the fandoms or played any games, anything I knew about the games was either seen while scrolling thru tumblr or my little brother blasting a gameplay in our room and I didn’t mind listening in if it was YouTuber I liked as well

Feral got a bit interested in the boys after reading a few fics around last year June, she tried to catch my attention but I didn’t really bite at the time, it was around August were she caught my attention when she first drew them, saying they reminded her of me, even drew Sun with chipped rays as a little call to my SH scars but it kinda dropped off since we were in the midst of fighting with the system to let us get married lol

Around December it really kicked in for her and then me, I started delving into reading fics and searching for fan art and was like “oh shit das me” and feral ran with it saying let’s do self insert shit and I was totally down for it, it wasn’t the first time we did something we’re she put herself in and I was a character that I related to heavily

From there we started planning the storyline but decided to do little meant to be yours animatic to kick off some attention towards our stuff lol

As for what got us interested into writing and drawing? Honestly the answer is the same for both of us, we started drawing young them jumped into writing for our own little stories and ideas, we’ve both always been artistic from a young age and when we met it was one of the first things we bonded over, oh and I do also have a passion for singing as well! Which also caught her attention I used to send her audios all the time or sing on call for her

Just something about being able not only to write your own stories but create visual pieces really helps when you have extremely hyperactive minds and imagination, sometimes we yell at each other cuz someone says something cursed and cuz of how we can perfectly see the image in our mind it makes the cursed thought so much worse 😭

But yeah that’s pretty much it! Love of creativity and such started our art and writing passion and that led to us wanting to create our stuff now here with the lovely robo boys, we do have our projects of course, Feral plans on making a comic/book (2 in one kinda thing) that’s gonna be a trilogy and I have my own OC’s that I still world build with

Not to mention all our world building with OCs weve plan on making into story’s as well in the future ✨

[faith3231]

// NEW UPDATED PINNED POST FOR 2024/25 //

Hello people on tumblr!

Just in case if you don’t know me, the name is Faith!

I’m a 21 year old autistic woman who basically struggles with anxiety sometimes and lil bit of depression. BUT I always have a safe space on loving to my fixtations like basically cute but (rarely) scary stuffs for example like Pretty cure and Sonic.Exe.

Overall, I joined this media back in November 10th when people back then used to dislike this place but thankfully stopped.

I know I’m rarely active on the place now but just in case if you guys still want to know me better, feel free to for this introduction post!

(UPDATED: 11/21/24)

★INTRODUCTION:

Name: Faith

Nicknames: Rapper Faith, Lil Faith, or Mom of Hog

Current Age: 21

Born: September 8th (9/8/03)

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Bisexual

☆Polyamorous and Demisexual

I live in USA so sadly yeah,,, I’m a American :(

♡Taken (Currently by 2 people)

Autistic

Favorite color: Blue and Pink

Artist and (Beginner) Animator

Fandoms I’m mostly in rn currently: :0

Sonic the hedgehog

Sonic.Exe

Bocchi the Rock

Pretty Cure

Studio Ghibli

Friday Night Funkin

Godzilla

My Hero Academia

Helluva Boss

Hazbin Hotel

And DanDaDan

MAIN PERSONA:

(NOTE! Hog belongs to Jack Gore whenever it comes to me and hog Art! + Lore of their friendship will be worked on later on)

★彡FOLLOW MY OTHER MEDIAS! :

YouTube - LilTilOne3231 (MAIN) / Faith3231 (Alt)

Tiktok - LilTilOne3231

Wattpad - LilTilOne3231

DeviantArt- Faith3231

Twitter (Not calling it X btw) - Faith3231 (Rapper Faith)

NewGrounds - Faith3231

BlueSky - Faith3231

Other Fun Facts!

•I’ve been liking Exe stuffs ever since July of Last Year when I got introduced to Hog and Scorched.

•My first animes I saw was Lucky Star and Ponyo

•I have been interacting with voice actors before in rl (Example: Kellen Goff)

•I mostly interact with newer fans, friends, and people better on my sever so if you wanted to be friends with me on my discord sever, please do if you have the same interest as me!

(Again, social anxiety can suck tbh)

•I’m really big into Nostalgic stuffs. So if you see me ramble about the crap I like, I’m sorry-

•I’m more active on YT, Discord, or Twitter sadly but again, sorry if you see me posting reshares and Art here!

•I really dislike Loud shit sadly. This mostly includes due to my trauma from my parents divorcing and fighting. :(

•I’ve been drawing for 11 years by the time I’m making this post.

•Christmas is my favorite holiday ever/srs

•My persona does have other looks plus in the fandoms I am in.

•I rarely drawn my own Original characters so one of them will be listed later on.

•I’m a Yume/Self Shipper lol

•And if you have any Gifts or FanArts of me that’s related to Exe, YumeShipping, or anything else, please do mention or ping me to let me know! 🩵

And yeah… THAT IS MOSTLY IT.

Hope you liked this introduction pinned post and feel free to interact with me if you liked!! 🩵

(OLD PIN POST - https://faith3231.tumblr.com/post/700545129587539968/all-art-is-not-mines-and-belongs-to-its#notes )

♡

-Faith

[bermudianabroad]

So after talking with @amreekiyakasuula about accents, I figured I do a little summin summin about Bermudian accents and phrases. Also because Cup Match is coming up (click for cultural context: tldl version it’s a cricket match between east and west ends of the island in celebration of Emancipation. Four day weekend, people camp*1, you can gamble*2 and much swizzle*3 is drunk). It’s been yuuurs (years) since I went and I guess I’ve just been bit by the nostalgia bug (go St Georges btw; I’m a east end girl, true blue on blue). And one more video for a range of different voices. It is 8 mins long and about local cricket so don’t feel you have to watch any of it the whole thing lol. 

 Anyway. Here we go.

First of all you can’t get by without ya acebye/acegirl. Nothing to do with sexuality, your acebye/acegirl is your main man (genderneutral), your best gal pal, platonically speaking. The person that will alway have your back. Term of affection, also scathing and derogatory when speaking of a stranger whose behaviour you do not condone: for instance,‘What you doing, acegirl?’ you might say to someone driving erratically, you voice dripping with condescension. ‘Acebye is getting on my last drop of nerve,’ you’ll say when the electrician fails to turn up when he said he would for the fifth time in a row. Not to be confused with ‘bye’ which is a kind of Bermudian filler for ‘man’, ‘dude’ etc. ‘Those guys over there,’ would become ‘Them byes over there.’ (or ‘dem’ and ‘dur’, since “th” becomes d or f but let’s not go into that right now.)

Onliest. More than only, profoundly only. ‘I was the onliest one at acebye’s comedy show.’ For a completely random example, not at all based in reality. (A lie: this happened to me at the Edinburgh Fringe one time. It was awkward. Being the onliest one there, I couldn’t leave lol).

Well, (but said drawn out like vooow). Gooder than good. Usually in the context of delicious food. ‘Bye, she tastes well,’ you say, monching down on your fish sandwich. Delicious food, like a ship, is always female.

Mug. So shit it’s beneath your contempt. Not worth the time or effort to even explain why it’s shit. Also anything that’s a hassle or a minor inconvenience.

The Other Day. A period of time that could span 24 hours or 70 years. ‘Oh I went to the supermarket the other day (day before yesterday)’; ‘Oh, I was in New York the other day (27 years ago)’.

To mice. To daydream, to lack situational awareness. Micing or Myscing. Take your pick of the spelling.

Full hot (and fullish); to be inebriated (and foolish). See also half hot, for when you still retain some semblance of sober propriety. See also three sheets to de wind.

[A brief note on letters when speaking:  sometimes ‘e’ becomes ‘a’; ‘w’ is swapped out for ‘v’; ‘th’ can be ‘d’ or ‘f’ (Vans-dee for Wednesday; Furs-dee for Thursday; ‘de’ instead of ‘the’). ]

Vexed. Not best pleased. Grumpy as fuck. (thickest accents would say it like ‘waxt’ lol.)

Fack. For when you’re in polite company and can’t say fuck. Also chingas/cheekumburgers for when children are present.

Ax. the process of inquiring to ascertain an answer. As in, you axt me about Bermudianisms and I answered. :) 

*1. camping = put a tent up by the side of the road and drive back home to shower and use the toilet, get in a little sneaky AC use when it gets too hot.

*2. gambling is illegal, but during cup match you can play Crown and Anchor which is a dice game based solely on luck. No skill required which is great considering everyone is full hot on...

*3. a truly leathal rum based fruit punch. It goes down easy, and bye she tastes well. I’ve linked you lot a recipe here. Not responsible for any decisions you make make whilst three sheets.

[shmaptainwrites]

Hey, so I totally understand if you don't feel comfortable answering this. I was just curious if you had any like tips for writing? I'm new to writing, especially about Wilson, and I LOVED your stories and blurbs and etc. I'm just having trouble like getting out there and getting my own ideas written as well as certain requests. Anyways again, it's totally ok if you don't have an answer! Great work, btw!

oh my goodness nonnie i’m so honoured you came to ask me about this and i’d love to share a bit about my process with you!

first i wanna put a little disclaimer: this is just my process and not necessarily some tried and tested thing, it’s just what works for me, and if it doesn’t work for you that’s okay! sometimes you’ll find things that don’t work for you before the stuff that does

so usually most of the stuff i write starts with a small concept or idea, and from there depending on how much motivation/inspiration i have i go one of two ways. if i have a lot of motivation and inspiration i often just go in head first and write without an outline and just get everything out into a document while the creative juices are still flowing.

if i’m feeling like i enjoy an idea but am a little stuck on the progression of things in my head, or i have motivation but a LOT of ideas i want to include, i’ll make an outline to help guide me, this is just really rough bullet points, sometimes interspersed with small pieces of dialogue i want to include for certain scenes

i think getting a feel for what type of things you enjoy is pretty key, but that just comes with practice which is also how you can improve your writing skills (along with reading! my english teacher always used to say a good writer is also a good reader)

i’ve done a lot of fandom hopping since i was a teen and so not being hard on myself when inspiration begins to fade for one thing or move to another helps me always come back to writing even after hiatuses that can last years (i never force myself to write if really not feeling it, because then it’s not enjoyable anymore and this should be a fun experience!)

in terms of characterization, sometimes having a beta reader who is familiar with the fandom is helpful because then they can tell you if they’re struggling to hear something in the character’s voice or think they may respond to a situation differently than you had described

i think all writers have certain preferences for certain parts of stories, for example, i know some people who much prefer dialogue to description or vice versa, now sometimes when you’re stuck there’s ways to get around doing one or the other, but really you can do whatever you want as long as the flow of your story is good. also on this topic, if you’re really feeling drawn to writing a particular scene that’s not linearly next in your storyline, do it anyways! there’s no rules that say you have to write your story linearly, if jumping around from scene to scene works for you then go for it

okay i think this is probably a lot and i can’t really think of anything else that would be helpful at the moment, but i hope this helps on your writing journey and please feel free to continue to reach out and update me on how things are going!

edit: i forgot to mention, also don’t feel obligated to take requests if they don’t work for you! i honestly almost always have my requests closed and when i open them it’s for short periods of time and for blurbs which i find more manageable:)

[a-mag-a-day]

MAG 61 - apple cutting

HA! Another ambiguous episode title! Hard Shoulder as in Breekon & Hope being like solid wood when Daisy hit them (like them having a hard shoulder) and the hard shoulder of the road. Or possibly Daisy' shoulder was meant as well? Jarring her arm when hitting Breekon & Hope and then being hold with a firm grip by her shoulder so she wouldn't follow Zack into the coffin.

I love Fay's voice btw. I could listen to zir for hours.

JON "…Right. Um, so, you came to deliver one of the tapes. From Basira? The uh, the, the audio tapes. … So… can I have it? Please?" DAISY "I’m thinking." - Is it already happening here? Does Daisy already feel Jon's compulsion and tries to parse what it is? Because next time, she's already prepared:

JON "…If you don’t mind me asking, hhhow long have you been sectioned, now –" DAISY "[angrily] I do mind – … 14 years." - Here it definitely happened.

DAISY "Not as long as you understand my policy: if it gets out, I’ll break every bone in your body." JON "[sigh, muttering] There are worse things that could happen to them…" - It makes me sad, that he is already expecting all sorts of horrible fates that could (and will) happen to him.

(Cont.) DAISY "[confused, possibly offended] What?" JON "Uh, nothing. Uh, statement of Detective Alice “Daisy” Tonner of the London Metropolitan Police. What’s the subject?" - Peak office comedy again.

It's the 1st December. Jordan Kennedy's statement was on 3rd November, exactly 4 weeks ago. Including Jordan's and this statement, that means Jon recorded 7 real statements in a span of 4 weeks.

"A Wednesday afternoon doesn’t see a lot of traffic" - Is it also tradition in the UK that public services are closed on Wednesday afternoons? In the village I'm living in, even all the non-supermarket-chain shops have closed on Wednesday afternoon.

"Part of me wanted to spot some idiot who I could take my bad mood out on" - First time around I immediately decided that this character is an absolute asshole and that I hated her. (Wow, that would drastically change in S4…)

Seriously, delivery vans driving reaaaally slow I find justified to check out. That's very suspicious for not having their load secured correctly and that being the reason for them to drive so slow.

"The man who got out looked normal – so normal that these days I can’t really picture his face. Said his name was “Tom.”" - High probability that this is Not!Sasha's Tom.

"From the back of the van, there was a sound of moaning." - While on my first listen I was lucky to recently already have relistened to MAG 2, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to connect things (because I couldn't remember anything from that episode). But heavy rain and moaning I immediately thought that it's gotta be the coffin!

"I yelled at them to explain what the hell was going on, but they just stood there, staring at it. So I hit one of them with my baton." - Oh yeah, that Daisy definitely is an awful person…

"I shouted for him, started to run but I felt a huge hand grip my shoulder. I grabbed it with my good arm, tried to escape it, but the grip was too strong. The texture of the flesh was like hard rubber. All I could do was watch as my partner kept walking into the earth, on stairs that couldn’t be there." Isn't it ironic? Here they saved her, but the next time Daisy would see Breekon & Hope and the coffin again, Breekon will make her go into the Buried herself.

JON "Uh, there is one other thing – I’ve been meaning to ask Basira, but you might know better –" DAISY "I’m done." - He's doing it again…

(Cont.) JON "Oh – yes, it’s just, j– [quickly] do you know anything about vampires?" - Now here's why he makes the perfect Archivist. Just can't shut up, asking more and more questions even when facing possible violet people (and later monsters)… tbh I'd probably also totally abuse a power like this.

DAISY "[anxious, drawn] Don’t tell Basira. She doesn’t know about that procedure. I, I’m not sure how much she’d understand" - Daisy worrying about what Basira might think of her? Even if it's actually straight up killing monsters in this instance, but Daisy really don't want Basia to know what she's capable of.

It's interesting that the coffin is connecting Jon and Daisy that much. When they met for the first time Daisy tells her statement about the coffin. Next time both of them will be dealing with the coffin, they actually start bonding, which slowly turns into a genuine friendship.

JON "Well, that’s a matter for later. I need to go home. Try to get some sleep." - Good! Keep up that attitude!… I'm also going to sleep now XD

Fay's voice is indeed great,

The Archivist, The Wolf and the Coffin... sounds like a Narnia book

[aronarchy]

https://twitter.com/butchanarchy/status/1575245320413646850

Contrary to popular belief, experiencing childhood abuse DOES NOT make you more likely to be an abuser as an adult.

It does, however, make you more likely to be the victim of abuse as an adult.

Source on the first claim: Adults physically abused as children not more likely to physically abuse their children

Source on the second claim: People who were abused as children are more likely to be abused as an adult

Okay so this is a dynamic I’ve been thinking a lot about lately, as someone who experienced childhood abuse and neglect and then proceeded to end up entrapped in multiple abusive relationships in adulthood, so I’ll share some of my thoughts about why I think this might be.

I spent a lot of time, and I know other survivors have too, with some intense anxieties like “am I drawing abusers to me?” “It must be something I’m doing wrong if it keeps happening.” “Maybe this is all I’m worth and that’s why no one wants to treat me well.” Etc.

Tbh, after essentially dedicating the last 3 years of my life to research on power and abuse, I, thankfully, have a much different perspective on why being a survivor seems to make you more vulnerable to being targeted repeatedly for abuse.

I think when you experience abuse at any time, but especially when you experience it throughout your childhood, it is a kind of social training. You learn that threat is everywhere, that there is little to nothing you can do to defend yourself, and that you must simply endure.

Regardless of your age, the abuser always lies the blame for the abuse at the feet of their victim. When you are a child, your abusers have total power over you, they literally teach you what to expect from the world and how you’re expected to act in it.

Your abusers, when you are a child, are also typically your primary attachment figures. You are actively learning what relationships are like from them. It is NOT safe to feel at odds with adults in your life, it is much easier to internalize their message. It’s survival.

So you learn as a child that you don’t get to have boundaries, that love means pain, that if people have a close enough relationship to you that means they are allowed to control you. You believe your abusers when they say your abuse is your fault.

You learn to accept that other people around you have a better interpretation of reality than you can ever come to. You learn to mistrust your senses, to see yourself taking up space and having needs as equivalent to being a burden.

And let’s not forget that this is all happening in the most impactful self-formation period in your entire life. Your literal brain and body is being shaped in this environment.

Abusers may or may not have been abused as children, it can go either way, but it’s not determined by that (as detailed above), but abuse is a learned behavior.

It’s a learned behavior in the class we all take in this abuse culture in one manner or another: we’re all taught who is vulnerable, who is most socially acceptable to mistreat, how to use someone’s vulnerability to gain power.

Abusers simply take a lot of the messages we are all taught about love, relationship, power, control to their logical conclusions. They’ve fully bought into the ideology of control, and they live that in their day to day lives.

I don’t think that there is anything particular about survivors that “draws” abusers to us. I think that abusers are playing power games all the time and what brings us more solidly into their line of sight is that we tend to be more materially and socially vulnerable people.

We tend to have less social supports and we also tend (this is all just personal reflection from experience btw) to have a lot less personal defenses online. The people responsible for teaching them to us in fact taught us that we were only worthy of being controlled.

I think it’s not that abusers are drawn specifically to us, but that they already have a mental map in place of how they treat people they’re in relationship with, already see them as worthy of control, and are putting out hooks pretty much constantly.

And we get hooked a little more easily, or at least I did, because we never even got the chance to learn that we have a right to our own autonomy and to respect from the people who claim to care for us. I personally feel like I was sent into the world emotionally defenseless.

Also I think the above conceptualization of how abusers act in social space also makes sense of why not being abused as a child still doesn’t save you from being abused in adulthood. Someone can literally just throw out a hook that gets you regardless of how boundaried you are.

[somelonelywordmonger]

I have no idea if I will be able to be able to relay all I am experiencing adequately, but here goes nothing. At any rate, I’m better at writing after putting thought into my words. TLDR is at the bottom, but I appreciate anyone who reads through this whole thing. But I understand skipping to the bottom or just skipping me altogether.

Tomorrow, I will see this rheumatologist who I started seeing this year. I got the blood work done for her again. I don’t know how many times I’ve had my blood drawn this year, but the lady who gave me my CT Scan with Contrast back around (May??) said my left arm was tough to find a vein in because the skin was getting tougher and the veins were showing signs of hardening with like scar tissue. But I think she was just struggling, tbh, because the guy I go to for my bloodwork, who practically knows me at this point, can get the vein on the first go with minimal bruising (usually.) I didn’t bruise this time too badly, anyway. So once again, another complete metabolic panel, and for the 50th time this year (a bit of an exaggeration, but every blood test has this one, and I’ve had my blood drawn a lot this year), I had C-Reactive Protein tested, too. Sedimentation Rate made a reappearance and is now being monitored with the C-reactive protein (I guess.) The SedRate was high in Spring/Early Summer but has since normalized. Unfortunately, the C-reactive protein has remained high and has left the 30s. Congrats to me! C-Reactive Protein is 44-49 (I had another recent blood draw from my primary doctor, which was 49 then.)

Anyway, let’s quickly break down my blood results, which, according to Labcorp, are abnormal.

The first runner-up is RBC or Red Blood Cells. Technically, this is normal at 5.26 x10E6/uL but becomes moderately high at 5.29, so I feel I am pushing it. However, the good news is that hemoglobin is normal on the lower end of the halfway marker for the normal range, and Hematocrit is on the higher end for Normal. So this probably won’t mean anything to my doctors, who have yet to figure out why my C-reactive protein is high and going up with my symptoms worsening. There has been no real concern about diagnosing me or no big rush, anyway, and no treatment, of course, because how could there be any treatment with no diagnosis? So let’s just keep ordering the ambiguous CRP test and see where that gets us, right? (Sarcasm.) 

Anyway, the next one that caught my attention: MCH is low at 24.7. Otherwise known as the average amount of hemoglobin found in the red blood cells in the body. This is not unusual for me, actually. My MCH and MCHC seem to like these low values. What I find strange is that they like these low values while my ferritin and hemoglobin tango in the realm of “normal.” MCHC, btw, is at 30.2 and is the average weight of hemoglobin based on the volume of red blood cells. A low MCHC value may be a sign of anemia or other conditions. 

Ready for the next confusing thing concerning my red blood cells? My RDW is moderately high at 15.6, which isn’t unusual either, technically, since with these blood tests over the past five years, it has been staying around there. (Although so have my symptoms, albeit a milder form of them that wasn’t debilitating.) The RDW test measures the variation of size and volume of the body's red blood cells. Typically, red blood cells are relatively equal in shape and size - however, red blood cells can have a distorted shape or be smaller or larger than normal due to some health conditions and diseases. Low RDW values generally do not have clinical significance. Other than that, things were fine. However, some of the tests for liver function, damage, and disease are showing that I am starting to trend up. In other words, I am working my way toward liver damage or something with the gallbladder or kidneys. But it was no surprise since the CT scan revealed evidence of fatty tissue on my liver. But I’ll see a new primary doctor at the end of the month and await the dismissal of everything I am experiencing in favor of “Have you just tried losing weight? Or how about we staple your stomach at a young age even though eating isn’t your problem?” I’m not holding out hope for this new resident. The old one wasn’t very helpful, nor was the one before that. And on it goes. I am in my mid-twenties and can’t keep up with those my age because I am so sick. But sure, it is all the fat. Never mind the fact that the weight came after the symptoms started. I was always plus size, but I miss being XL. I want to be XL plus size again. I want to be able to live ffs. Let me be 100% clear: I am not fat-shaming or saying people larger than XL can’t live a normal life. They can. There are plenty of people larger than me who can outpace me. It’s just I have body image issues, and the weight is a detriment to me getting doctors to fucking listen. Or wear certain graphic tees that don’t run in my size. But, ya know, choose your battles or whatever.

And that’s why I’m screaming into this void. Because I want to live, but my body doesn’t, and it is absolute bullshit. It is such a sick fucking joke that growing up, I dealt with depression, no support for my autism, trauma, bullying, and wanting to die. And then, I get all healed and better. I have a will to live; I work on improving myself and growing. I want to go out in the world and contribute. But then my body becomes a new prison, and this time, I am absolutely held against my will because I can’t do anything to fix it! I don’t know why my abdomen is having digestion issues, cramping, bloating, and tenderness. I don’t know why I am dealing with costochondritis again and feeling my ribs in my body because I can feel the sting and the stab of the inflamed cartilage. I don’t know why my left leg is larger than my right. I don’t know why my neck and shoulders or my knees hurt. I don’t know why I am so unbelievably fatigued and why I also have a general feeling of just being ill. I don’t know why it hurts when someone applies the faintest pressure anywhere on my body. I don’t know why lying down to sleep, especially on my left side, makes my vagus nerve act like a little bitch so that I think I’m about to throw up right when I am almost asleep, and then I have to breathe calmly to calm it down as I feel the tingles of the nerves go down each arm. I can’t even walk for long without pain, my hip clicking, and the sickness in my gut reaching such an unbearable point of discomfort. Not to mention the costochondritis is making it really fucking hard to walk right now.

Because of all that is going on with my gut, vagus nerve, fatigue, and total body tenderness and aching, the last thing I needed was my rib cage to protest being a part of this body. I actually don’t eat that much now. I’ve always been a grazer. Lately, however, my grazing foods have also made me feel sicker. Eating makes me feel sicker. Water makes me feel sicker! My gut absolutely wants no part in what helps it to do its job. Which is, you know, FUCKING FOOD. I recently went on a trip to North Carolina and couldn’t do all the things I wanted to do because I was so ill.

So, let’s summarize what all this means. The TL;DR: I can’t fucking eat. I can’t fucking sleep. I can’t fucking breathe. I can’t fucking move. I can’t live my life to the fullest or go and do things I want to do because all the shitty and chronic sensations are building up and taking their toll. I can’t even get upset or excited or jump up and down, scream, or cry. That would make everything flare up. I think about killing myself several times a week despite not actually wanting to die. (So I have high doubts I will act on it, but at the rate my body is falling apart, I don’t know if I can say the same for it.) And doctors have no fucking idea what is going on, and I am so sick and tired of being SICK AND TIRED.

Really feeling Geralt's rage here. Need me a magic cure, man, because I cannot keep going on with this shit.

[adventuresinclientservice]

English as a second language.

I’ve met Rick English just once, nearly six years ago, when I traveled to Buffalo, New York on a surprisingly temperate day (by Buffalo standards anyway) to lead a couple of workshops for Rick’s forward-thinking friend Ted Johnson.  Johnson is President of the Hadley, a firm masquerading as an “exhibit design, fabrication, and installation” enterprise, but as I’ve written before, is more aptly and accurately described as a solutions company. 

English is an account person of longstanding who taught client service at Canisius, who now is a sometime blogger at Small Market Suit.  Rick first connected with me by email nearly eight years ago, when he wrote, “I read your blog often, actually regularly… Thanks for keeping your blog going.”

Ever since, we have been exchanging emails on a host of topics, some of which sufficiently noteworthy for me to cite in Adventures, as in here and here.  A couple of weeks ago I heard from Rick, who had this to say about a recent post:

“Liked your latest post ...   How do you find the energy, motivation, or maybe it’s the spark, to write a post so often?  The fact that you do is impressive.”

I wrote back to reply:

“To the matter of “How do you find the energy,” what I can say is, when I sat down to write Brain Surgery for Suits 25 years ago, I had no illusions about how challenging it would be to write a book-length manuscript, so I gave myself a simple goal:  write 500 words a day.  Writing 500 words or thereabouts a week for Adventures seems relatively easy by comparison. “In the scheme of things, finding the motivation is easy.  I’ve often said I like a person on a mission from god, hellbent to do whatever I can to help readers get better at client service.  In all the years I’ve been posting, I’ve never lost sight of that goal.  There have been moments when I feel like I’m speaking to the void, given so few people write to tell me they find value in what I’m doing, but then I remind myself of why I do this, perhaps best expressed in this post (I refer to you in it, BTW). “The biggest challenge is your third, ‘the spark,’ which for me is about where I find the ideas to write.  I say as much in ‘The sanctity of deadlines:’ ‘I struggle to formulate a story line engaging to me and ideally helpful to at least some of you, which is why I often turn to other sources for a starting point:  something I see on television, an opinion piece I see in The New York Times, or an article I read in The New Yorker.’ “In this confession is an answer of sorts:  I look to others for inspiration, sometimes finding it in the most unlikeliest of places.  In fact, the piece I’m drafting even as I write you now isn’t about anything anyone would expect; it’s about rock-and-roll.  “On occasion I find inspiration in something that happened to me; for example, a piece from two weeks ago, drawn from an experience largely unfamiliar to me, where I could reinforce principles I think are price-of-entry for clients, for which many if not most clients have disdain.  Does anyone care?  I don’t know, but if one person gets something out of it, I have done my job. “I do draw inspiration from an exchange like the one we’re having, which no doubt will prompt me to email you again, ‘Rick, would it be okay if I converted our recent exchange of email into a blog post?’ “I appreciate you’re saying, ‘The fact that you do is impressive,’ but truth be told, context is everything.  Bloggers in our space like the Georges -- Tannenbaum and Parker -- have posted thousands of times.  Me?  I’ve posted hundreds. “The process of writing helps.  I don’t draft these things on the Adventures website; I’ve learned platforms like Tumblr are too unstable to be trusted.  Instead, I draft them in Word, store them on my computer’s c-drive – which has the benefit of allowing me to keyword search my files whenever I’m looking to link to a piece I wrote ten years ago – then back them up to the cloud.  When it’s time to post – Wednesday’s mostly – I cut-and-paste these into Adventures.  For royalty-free photos I mostly rely on Unsplash. “I’ll know when the day comes to quit.  Until then, it’s email like yours that keeps me going, so thank you for this.”

I’ve been exchanging emails like this with Rick for so many years it has become a second language for me.  On that subject, I always strive to improve my fluency.  And in case you’re wondering, I’d welcome the opportunity to become tri-lingual.

[rrickgrrimes8]

hi! i was thinking if you could write an imagine of reader being rick and lori's daughter and sister to carl, rj and judith. i don't have a specific idea in mind, but just her before and after the time jump, struggling with being there when lori and carl died, and looking for rick with daryl, her relationship with her siblings and michonne, maybe maggie and hershel too (i was thinking since carl was 10 when it all started, she was 7 so now she's 17) thank you so much, and btw i loved your imagines i've read so far 💞

Being a Grimes ~ Rick Grimes x Grimes!reader

thank you so much for requesting i really enjoyed making this one. i also have a series kinda like this about Jacey Grimes which i’m currently making a book two for.

warnings: alluding to sexual assault or rape, suicide, death, gore (lemme know if i’ve missed anything off here)

sorry if there is any mistakes please tell if there is and give me feedback i’d love to here back from yall

masterlist

request guidelines

request are open

It was strange for y/n. This world would be strange for anyone really. But she was different. At only a mere 7 years old when the world went to shit she struggled as did many others. With the recent loss of her father - one she didn't entirely understand - still protruding through her heart, it was hard - so hard. 

When it happened she was at daycare. The teaching assistant tried and successfully ate the teacher in front of her. She was next and was so close to being eaten until Shane rushed in. He kicked Ms Twune and grabbed y/n. Her mom sobbed at the sight of her, covered in blood and the tears smothering her daughters face. Carl was shocked too. He wanted nothing more than to protect his little sister. His dad always used to tell him that that was his duty - his job. And he hated how he had failed in this moment. 

They made it to the quarry soon after. Y/n thought the group was nice - well mostly. The Dixon brothers scared her was what she told her brother or any of the children she had befriended. But she was lying. Yes, she was scared but only of Merle. He was creepy and mean to anyone he saw. Daryl was somewhat the same but he always found himself being nicer to the young child. And often kept her company when Lori and Shane went for a ‘walk’ in the woods. Glenn was another she found herself drawn to. He unlike Daryl happily invited her company. Glenn was sweet and funny. He never failed at making her laugh till she felt like she was going to pee. They were good friends which came to a fault when he had to go on runs. She’d scream and cry and refuse to let go of him because she was afraid that what happened to her father would happen to him. 

That’s what happened earlier that morning. Glenn and a few others were going into Atlanta, despite her dismay. Glenn assured her he’d be fine, which she didn't believe and continued her tantrum. 

“Can yer’ shut that damn baby up?” Merle spat covering his ears. 

Shane shot him a threatening glare while Glenn stayed preoccupied with the distraught girl. “Hey, it's okay. I’m coming back,” He insisted holding her tightly at his hip, “I promise you, sweet girl.” 

“No, b-b-but dada promise too a-a-and h-he,” She stopped herself, sobs erupting from her small body. 

“I know sweet girl, I know. But I’ll be back I know I will.” Glenn placed her on the back of the RV, “I tell you what I’ll bring you back some of your favourite sweeties, huh? Would you like that?” 

Giddily she nodded at his proposition, “Yes! Yes!” 

“Alright, then I’ll bring back some for you, okay?” She nodded smiling cheerfully, “I love you, kid.” 

“I luv you too, dumbass,” y/n giggled. 

Glenn looked around cautiously hoping no one heard that “Hey sweet girl you can't say that.” 

“W-what? Why?” the child began to cry again, “Y-y-you say it.” 

“I know b-but its adult words okay? Not y/n words. When you're older, alright?” She nodded her head again kissing his cheeks softly and hugging him. “Thank you, sweet girl. I’ll see you soon,” He kissed the top of her head and started towards the car smiling as she shouted, “With sweeties!”

The group returned hours later bearing a new man instead of Merle. Y/n waited patiently for Glenn and the aforementioned sweets. "Gen!" She screamed happily still unable to say his name fully. The man sprinted over to her, pulling her into a much-needed cuddle after the day he had. 

"It's Glenn, sweetheart," He chuckled while correcting. 

"Oh sorry Gen," She wrapped her dainty arms around his neck. 

"That's okay, sweet girl. I missed you." 

"I missed you too," She whispered before letting out a longwinded 'ew', "You stinky, Gen." 

The man smelt his shirt and nodded as the potent smell of walkers reached his nose. "I know yucky right?" 

"Yucky!" Y/n buried her face in Glenn's shirt ignoring the stench and just enjoying his company. She always became clingy like this after coming home from a run. He loved it. On runs, if he ever encountered a life-threatening situation - like the one today - he always finds himself realising how much she means to him. Glenn saw her as a little sister - one almost replacing the ones that were cruely ripped from him when this began. 

"How was it?" She inquired. 

"Not fun, sweet girl. But I got your sweeties and a nice man helped us out. Saved us," She beamed. 

"I like the good man. I'll give him two kisses when I see him. Maybe even one of my sweeties," Glenn chuckled. 

"Why two kisses, y/n?" 

"One for saving you. Two for bringing you hom," Glenn grinned contently and kissed her forehead. 

"Its home bubs with an e on the end." 

"Oh," She mumbled burying herself again. 

"Oh my God," Someone muttered as they exited the van. 

"Dad! Dad!" Carl screamed causing Glenn to snap his head in their direction. Carl came running towards the man, Rick, who had saved them in Atlanta. Y/n hadn't moved yet as she feared it was only a dream. That her dada wasn't really here. 

"Sweet girl," He pulled her out of his neck, "Look it's your dad." The child gazed over to where her brother had run to. Sure enough, it was her dad. He held Carl as he cried, looking to Y/n wanting to hold her too. 

"Dada!" She screamed jumping out of Glenn's arms dangerously. The girl scraped her knee on the way down but continued throwing herself into the hug. 

"Oh, Carl! Y/n!" She kissed all over his face childishly, "I luv you, dada." 

"I love you too, baby girl."

~

The years hadn't been kind to Y/n. She lost so much. Too much in fact that it had driven her to the depts of insanity and made her do things to herself, to others that she more than resented. The first loss was her mothers. She wasn't there like Carl was but the grief burned through her still. Y/n was too young to understand it really. Just how she was when Rick supposedly died. Y/n couldn't understand where her mom had gone she just knew she had a little sister now. One she swore to protect. 

She thought she had failed that when the prison fell. The young child was on her own. Injured and lost. She wandered through the woods for days until she stumbled across a group. The group were mean and despite her resistance wouldn't let her go. They hurt her in ways she didn't and wouldn't speak of it even now. But that all changed when Daryl showed up. He protected her - stopped them from hurting her. And eventually led her back to her family. Where for the first time she began to fear her father. 

Terminus was next. The people there snatched her from her family. She was forced to watch from afar as they were guided into the crate. Rick fought against them, Carl too but it was to no use. They had sectioned her off in a playroom. Every once in a while an older woman came in to fed and played with her. She hated it. Being in this world for more than a year now she knew that people like them didn't just want to play even if she did. She learnt that from the Claimers. 

Carol found her. Although having never have been all that close to the older woman - the only relation being the closeness between y/n and Sophia - seeing her after so long made her cry out of joy. Carol was happy too as she rushed out of that place to take her to safety. The pair ended up in the woods. Carol had stopped a moment ago to clean the dirt from her face, "lemme help." 

The girl sat up from where she was put down and cupped some water splashing it on Carol's face. Carol flinched as the water hit her, "Uh thank you." 

"Welcome," She looked away getting distracted by the nearing sound of footsteps. 

"Get behind me, y/n," Carol ordered to which she shook her head. 

"No it dada," She ran away from the woman and towards the group. 

"Y/n come back here!" Y/n continued ignoring Carols pleas and crashed herself into the back of Rick's legs. 

The father shot around and began to cry as he saw the child he thought he lost at his feet. "Oh, baby!" He collected the girl in his arms. Carl rushed to them too happy to see her alive after Gareth claimed he killed her. "Oh y/n, never leave me again, okay?" He looked directly into her matching blue eyes, "Promise me." 

"I promise, dada." 

Later Carol led them to Judith. Y/n was over the moon and refused to let her out of her sight, which was exactly what Rick was doing too. They found the church a while after. There they had some semblance of peace. She was glad to have Glenn back - Maggie too. Along with the new people although Eugene was a bit weird. 

At the church was also when the questions started. Daryl had told Rick about the group they were with and regretfully had to inform the father how she was there before him. Rick asked y/n - begged her - to tell her what happened. But she refused. She couldn't say what happened. What they did, which just made Rick fear more. Eventually, she spoke a little about it. She was vague and could barely string two words together without crying. He hated it. He hated how this was a reality for his daughter. He saw the bruises they left. And he couldn't understand how someone could touch his child. Or how he could be so powerless to stop it. 

Bob died. She didn't really know the man but it still upset her. Beth too. Although she was a lot closer to her. Beth was one of her only friends and was someone who would look after her when her father couldn't. They bonded and now she was gone. 

After Beth's demise, they spent lots of time on the road. They suffered, almost died countless times but they prevailed. They got stronger - she got stronger. And they eventually found Alexandria. There everything was good again like how it was at the prison or even before this hell. She liked it there and didn't understand why the others were so sceptical. 

Though that didn't last for long. Y/n began to hate the place when Carl got shot. Alexandria almost stole her brother from her. So she despised it. She refused to leave her brother's side as he adjusted to his injury. Yes, he found it annoying how she wouldn't leave him be and he often snapped at her. But she was there when he needed her. Despite the age difference and the many years of memories they had lost to this fight, she understood his pain. When he saw himself as ugly, a monster even, she made him think otherwise. She kept him afloat, which he was eternally thankful for. 

Glenn was next. 

She didn't believe it even after she was forced to see it with her own two eyes. She was next to Glenn in the lineup. She had to watch up close. Y/n had to be mocked by that man. She had to stay the whole night with her best friends brains on her face. After that night she blamed herself. She told herself that if Negan was just one person off she would be dead and he would live. He would get to see his child born and grow old with Maggie like they had spoken about. She wholeheartedly believed he deserved to live over her. 

The war with Negan shook her to the core. At the time his face filled her nightmares. He just looked so normal. He looked nice even. Yet he hurt and he hurt and he hurt. 

He killed her Glenn. And then Carl. It wasn't Negans fault although she did blame him. Carl had gotten bit. Y/n held his hand as he died in that tunnel as the home they had built above them fell. She got a letter too - even though she would rather have preferred to have her brother back. In the letter, Carl told her how proud he was of her - how thankful he was to have her as a sister. He told her to protect Judith, their dad and Michonne, who she had recently begun to call momma. 

After Carl's death, y/n shut herself from the world well everyone except her father. For days she would cry until she couldn't anymore. She would scream and scream until her voice was gone. She just didn't understand why it had to be Carl? Why mom? Why Glenn? Why Beth? Why was it never her? The following weeks she found herself wishing it would be her next. She could never bring herself to say it out loud but with any battle, any fight, anything, she wished it would be her. 

So when she lost her father her whole world fell apart. He was her consistent so why did he leave her? She was at the bridge that day. Daryl held her crying frame as Rick set off that final shot blowing him and the walkers off the bridge. Y/n Grimes' father was dead. 

She stayed in Alexandria for a while afterwards. For the sole reason to protect her siblings. Yes, siblings - plural. Somehow through all the bad some good came from it. She just wished her father and Carl could've seen it. RJ Grimes came into this world 9 months later. And he was perfect. For months she would assist in taking care of him as Michonne wasn't doing the greatest without the love of her life. Truth be told neither was y/n she was just better at hiding it. 

Until one night it all became too much. Y/n didn't know how it happened but she found herself balancing on the edge of her window. She wanted to jump - to end it. But she just couldn't will herself to do it. And when Daryl showed up she knew she couldn't. "Hey step away from ta window, alrigh'," The man ordered as he saw her shaking frame rocking back and forth. 

"I-i can't," She sobbed. 

"Ye' ya can. Jus' step back I'll catch ya," Daryl moved closer but paused when she shouted to stop. 

"I can't, Daryl. They're all gone. They're all dead," The tears clouded her eyes. She shut them tightly picturing her families faces wanting so badly to join them. 

"Please jus' step back, y/n. Yer' not alone. I'm here," He croaked the tears floating down his cheeks, "Don't jump." 

"I love you, Daryl." 

"I love ya too, okay? So step away from the window," He watched as she turned her head slightly catching his eyes. 

"I love you but I can't. Tell mom, RJ and Judy I love them as well." 

Suddenly she went to fall forward but Daryl reacted quicker. He gripped her waist pulling her into the room unwilling to release his grasp. "Yer' not leaving me," He told her as she cried into his shoulder, "Yer' cant leave me." Overhearing the chaos, Michonne entered her daughter's room to see the window wide open and the two of them crying. Daryl looked at her. The look telling her all she needed to know. Michonne began to cry herself and joined them on the ground. 

"Y/n?" A small voice called from the door frame. 

"Judith go back to bed, okay?" Michonne told her but Judith continued towards her sister. The girl said nothing as she wiped her sister's tears and held her hand.

It was 5 years later now. After her attempt, she left Alexandria with Daryl in search of her father. She didn't believe he was alive despite everything inside her wanting to. But Daryl did and after what happened they became a lot closer. He was happy she joined him. Even though the act of being out there was gruelling at times he was glad he could look after her. And if something would've happened to her while he was gone he could never have forgiven himself. Understandably Michonne was angry that y/n decided to leave. Y/n was her daughter and Michone her mother. They needed each other but she was willing to let Y/n leave to figure that out. It brought her peace looking for her father. 

The silence was her favourite and as Daryl wasn't much of a talker she got lots of it. They got a dog too, which Daryl cleverly named Dog. Everything was a messed up version of okay but it was still good. Being out there made her find her purpose. She went home a lot more than Daryl did, which pleased her siblings and mother. It was always for a few days never longer as she feared she'd stay forever and she couldn't. As much as Alexandria is good it also drives y/n to a dark place. One she was in that night. She lost so much there. And staring at those four walls drove her insane. It didn't help how Negan was imprisoned there. Just thinking how close he was made her skin crawl. She knew how Rick visited him when he was alive that he believed Carl was right about the killing. That it had to stop. Y/n knew he was right too but she could never bring herself to one admit or two face Negan. 

It felt like a story she read as a child when the Whisperers showed up. Like Negan, they scared her. So when she was told about his escape she only assumed the worst. The Whisperers took so many from them. Like Enid for example. Her story was cut short because of them. The two never really spoke but she understood how she and Carl felt for each other at a time. So ultimately it felt like she lost her final piece of Carl when she died. Y/n wished she had spoken to her when she could've. She wished she could've heard the untold stories they shared. She needed to know about Carl's final years with her. But now she's gone too along with those memories. 

The war with the Whisperers took everything from them. The Kingdom. Hilltop. Alexandria. Along with the lives they lost in the process. With the group separated she found herself protecting Judy and RJ. Michonne had gone. Where she had gone to, y/n had no idea. For a messed up reason, she began to prepare herself for her mother's death before it was even announced. That was until she got the call. She was okay and... apparently so was Rick. 

Disbelief was what hit her first. She couldn't hear his voice nor see his face so how could she know it was true. Michonne didn't know either she couldn't if he was really there, still alive. That night of the call she left. Without hesitation, she kissed RJ and Judith's heads, told them she loved them and told them to tell everyone else that and left. She left in the direction Michonne had told her. 

She left to find her father. And she knew she wouldn't return until she did. "I'm coming, dad."