#btw that’s a stupid name for an evil side just saying

[rununcal]

Ehehaha. Hehe.

[firemenenthusiast]

the tag is so cute but lmk if this works cs the post is still up 💔

https://x.com/SexualLoverz/status/1778850070810542313

basicalky tho shes riding his face while hes cuffed n all, i can go into more detail if it doesnt work js lmk x

shout out to stacie for the request ! (and for waiting for a damn long time for me to write, im sorry 😭)

—“influence”

sub!kai x reader

summary: based on the link above (account got suspended btw), kai is a dumbass who is easily influenced by zac who’s NOT a good person 🤯

warnings: 18+, smut, p link, sub!kai, no actual penetration, face sitting, face riding, cunnilingus, name calling (bitch & slut) 😢, cumming in pants, restraints (m! receiving)

a/n: guess who’s back LMAOOO guys uni is no joke im getting my ass beat

hate’s maybe too strong of a word to describe your dislike towards zac but everything he does pisses you off. it’s like theres physically a bad bone in his body navigating him in making stupid and evil decisions. like telling kai to stop others from taking the blue, resulting in chaos on the ship since richard’s no longer here to keep things in line. he was also the one who thought it was a good idea to have a party, celebrating god knows what, eating and wasting every resources you guys had on the ship.

he was also the reason the ship’s data room got destroyed and everyone had to clean up after him. the ship’s up and running again now, thanks to christopher. but the reason you hate zac is because he’s such a bad influence to kai. you couldn’t blame kai for the things he’d done, he wouldn’t have done them if it wasn’t because zac told him to.

maybe he just felt like that was his calling, like he had a purpose on that ship, leading him to do everything zac told him to eventho they’re stupid. in reality he’s more than that, he’s actually really smart, and good with electricals. he’s also really nice to you, it’s just that he tends to do the stupid things zac tells him to do because he thinks he’s not good enough. he needs to feel like he’s important, which is why he never wanna leave your side. you make him feel special, and needed. between that and the lack of blue in his system, he had grown to be really clingy with you. and his needs, his certain needs, now washing over him like a big perpetual confusing wave

you hear his stalking steps behind, following you through the ominous hall connecting the working quarters to your dorms. he’s been after your back all day, and now he’s even sniffing the trail of scent you left behind. “you smell good” he starts, throwing his head back while dragging his hands down his face. he is getting ridiculous. now he’s sniffing you around like an animal ? “did you shampoo ?” he continues, making you halt your steps for a moment to take his dumb words in before continuing to walk. shaking your head in disbelief that you’re responding to his question, “they sent me the new ones to sample so yeah, earlier” you explain, telling him about the new shampoo they’ve formulated, experimenting with improved ingredients from the lab. “can you stop for a moment ? where are you going anyways ?” he hasten his steps behind you, pondering on how are you walking so fast. before you know it he manages to quickly grab your hand and intertwine his fingers with yours. now that you’re forced to stop, you turn and raise your chin to look at him, who’s grinning.

“i need to report back to them, kai”

“what ? like now ?”

“yes, now”

“they can wait”

moving the strand of hair out of your face, you sigh at him. looking up at him through your lashes, your face clearly unamused. “no kai, unlike you who clearly has nothing better to do they’re actually working and contributing to the ship” you squint your eyes as you say that, making him take a step back to scoff at you. if only he could channel this newfound energy or hormones on something else, he would’ve actually made a difference. like maybe fixing and updating your database thats turning obsolete from how ancient it is, or come out with a new security system. that would’ve made you drool over him, even reward with after a hard day of doing men’s job. instead, he’s been chasing you around the ship all day since yesterday, snooping up your ass, waiting as you do chores hoping to get in your pants. like you said, it’s the lack of blue

you gesture your hand around signalling that you’re done here if he doesn’t have anything else to say, too tired of him to even roll your eyes. he’s frustrated to say the least, confused with his own neediness, struggling to navigate the feelings. he could’ve just gone to any other girls on the ship, they’ll gladly let him into their dorms but he doesn’t want that, he doesn’t want them. what the both of you have is something sacred to him that he refuses to jeopardise. even so, you’re starting to give him blue balls, he’s wondering how can you be so composed, as you’ve also stopped taking the blue while he’s sweating and fidgeting. “go find something useful to do kai, leave me alone”. it’s not like you’re mad at him, but it hasn’t been long since the last time you gave in because of his pleas.

“why are you being such a bitch ? zac’s right, girls are fucking difficult” kai’s towering over you, letting go of your hands. he almost gave up when you start walking away before he continues his petty tantrum. “you act like you’re sooo important, always doing this and that, acting like you don’t want me” you’ve turned your heels away from him long ago, ignoring his silly words that are far from insults. you were about to block his voice out of your hearing before you hear him, “walk away all you want but we both know you were begging for my cock like a slut” you’re lucky the hallways empty or else anyone could’ve heard him easily. his last words flicked a switch inside your head, making you turn around to quickly stomp towards him. he can’t be serious.

he could’ve accepted and just walk away like a man but decided to act like a bitch instead, whining around that you wouldn’t let him get his dick wet. you reach over for his shirt, pulling him by fisting the fabric on his chest, your bodies almost colliding. you can feel his warm breath fanning over you as he falls quiet and his face drops. “you’re so fucked, kai” you say as you start dragging him by his shirt, walking across the hallway before taking a turn towards his dorm. he struggles to follow your steps with you pulling him forward, forcing him to bend a little. he almost trips over multiple times on the ship’s floor. as you stop in front of his dorm, you push him forward, he almost stumble over his feet. “unlock it” you order him, to which he quietly obeys, pressing his code into the lock display.

you push him inside quickly before locking the door behind you to avoid anyone noticing. after making sure it’s just the both of you, you step forward, making him step back before his heels hit the side of his bed in the small compound. he’s forced to sit as you settle between his legs, his head tilted upwards to look at you, too scared to look away. “im so tired of you running your mouth,” you begin, lifting your hand to cup his cheek, smoothing your thumb over his clear skin. he’s starting to regret the things he said to you, nervous anticipating what’s going to happen now that he’s pissed you off. “do you think you’re better than me ?” you ask him softly, waiting for his answer patiently as you can clearly see him keeping in his answer, his eyes trailing somewhere else. moving your fingers over his lips, you play with them, gently pulling at the bottom one. you smile at him.

“so you do think you’re better ?” before he could give you any response, you thrust your index and middle finger pass his lips, pushing down on his tongue. “you’re pretty, kai,” you say, as you thrust your fingers further. “but sometimes you can be such a bitch” your fingers are now slotted snug against his tongue, he struggles to keep himself from gagging as his eyes are becoming glossy, small tears pooling at the corners. he shuts his eyes for a moment before shaking his head, he tries to make out something but they’re mumbled because of your fingers. you coo at him before retracting them and cupping his cheek. he’s short of breath yet wastes no time, “m’sorry” you shake your head, giving him a look before firmly tapping his cheeks with your saliva covered fingers. traces of spit sticks onto his face as you push him down by his head, his hand grabbing at your wrist.

you quickly push your pants down with your free hand before quickly getting on top of him on the bed. he’s starting to smirk from seeing you sitting pant-less on him, thinking that you still gave in after all. he raises his hands to place them on your waist, before even starting to rub at your exposed thighs. you smile at him as you take his hands, guiding and placing them on your covered tits, earning a soft small moan from him. he’s happily kneading at the soft flesh as you reach over beside the bed, where there are drawers. you pull out one of them to fish out something before placing it over his hands, zip tying them together swiftly.

he was too caught up in the feeling, eyes closed and all to notice what you’re doing. he looks as if he’s panicking, trying to break the zip tie off but the friction’s hurting his wrists. “fuck- i said i was sorry ?” he lets out, his bent knees moving around and hitting the wall. you let out a sigh looking at him, as he returns a wide eyed look at you, hoping for you to take the zip tie off. “please baby ?” he tries again, before you move over him, your knees settling on each side of his head, your pussy hovering right above his face. “don’t baby me”.

you couldn’t be bothered to look at him as you run your hands through his tight curls, tugging slightly at the roots before settling all of your weight on his face, his mouth open to take your pussy. just as he flattens his tongue to lap up your juices he lets out a hummed moan, the vibration sending chills down your spine. you tighten your grab on his roots, making him hum, his tied hands behind you flailing around, tortured that he doesn’t get to feel you. one thing kai is if he’s not anything else is he’s a pussy eater, and he can so it for hours. he gets off from eating pussy, and does it like nobody’s business. but you’ve never sat on his face, though he’s begged you to before. you weren’t comfortable with the thought but you know this will shut him up.

he continues his laps against your pussy as his tongue licks at the sensitive nub, before gently sucking on it, making you whine loudly. you quickly snap out of the feeling to control your loudness, with the compound walls being thin as ever and people outside that might hear. kai doesn’t have to worry about his sounds as they’re all muffled by your pussy, so he’s moaning and whining against your folds each time his tastebud indulges your taste. his cock’s hard in his pants, begging to be let out and touched. so kai settles for the next best thing he could get right now, his tied hands cupping over his hard on and rubbing across the bulging length.

the friction of the fabric of his pants against his cock makes him feel good, he’s moaning as his hand rubs over his sensitive tip yet nothing compares to sinking inside your warm pussy. if you give him a chance right now he’s willing to kneel before you and beg for you to let him fuck, he’ll promise to do all the work while you just lay down and be a pillow princess. unfortunately his mouth is covered and pressed down against your pussy. not that he’s complaining, he gets to suck and lap the juices off your folds.

you’ve had enough of him having fun so you start grinding down, moving your hips back and forth, your pussy rubbing against his mouth and his nose. all you can see now is his eyes, glossy with long lashes staring back at you, his eyelid heavy from the pleasure. he’s moaning uncontrollably underneath you now that you’re grinding against his face, your clit nudging at his nose making you moan, your fingers tugging down at his roots. his hands are cupping his hard on, obvious bulge poking through his pants. his bent knees are flailing around from the pleasure, his hips bucking up into thin air, not quite enough to turn the restraint on his cock into pain. his waist hovers over the bed, as he speeds up his lapping against your folds. all while he’s tortured by the blood rushing to the tip of his cock, he’s overwhelmed by the sweet taste of your pussy and scent pushing down against his face. you let out a whine as you feel his lips sucking at your hole, slurping up the wetness leaking out with his tongue before fucking your hole with it.

he’s now fucking you with his tongue, sending you waves after waves of pleasure that’ll eventually come down sooner or later. “mnmgh, fu- so good kai” your praise fills him with more excitement to please you, as his slurping on your sex makes loud noises in the compound. “fuck, kai- you-you’re gonna be good after this ?” your question comes out staggered and whiny, the pleasure invading your words. he nods against your pussy, his nose nudging against your sensitive nub. “mmnhgh- oh my god, f- you’re gonna stop calling girls with that word ?” he nods rapidly, the repeated nudges of his nose making you twitch. the knot in your lower belly tightening as you pin his head down by his hair, before grinding harder against his face. you could feel his plump lips sucking on your clit. arching your back from the pleasure before looking down, you see his brown eyes already set on you, looking away just to watch your body move and writhe on top of him.

“oh my god- kai, fuck- gonna cum” you’re now borderline bouncing on his face, your hips twitching as you chase your high. he knows that you’re about to cum as he speeds up his tongue fucking into your hole. “gonna give you my cum” you hear him let out a muffled sound, as you’re busy chasing your orgasm. his hands are rubbing and squeezing down on his covered length, trying to calm the blood rushing that’s making him rock hard. you let out your final whine before moaning hard, your hips halting its movements against his face as your orgasm washes down, and you’re cumming on his mouth.

you begin to raise your hips to hover over his mouth as you immediately hear him moan, his tied hands tugging at the back of your shirt. “fuck!” curses flow out of his lips as soon as he gets to speak. his hips are bucking hard because of his twitching thighs. your breasts are heaving, trying to catch your breath and settle down. you turn your upper body to look behind you to notice the small beads of white seeping through his pants, and the bulge poking through it twitching around. your eyes go wide at the view of him cumming untouched in his pants before turning back to look at him who’s smiling at you, his eyelids droopy from being pussy drunk.

his smile is crooked and he’s seconds away from passing out. you cup your hands over your mouth for a moment before leaning down to gently kiss him, your fingers running slowly through his curls to massage his scalp. you reach again into the drawers to find a scissor, before turning behind to release his hands. he immediately reach up to wrap his arms around your waist, before you pull them away to slowly rub at his wrists. “mmhm” your gentle touch offers him some relief, making him hum in contentment. the traces of the zip tie leaving red marks as your fingers smooth over the skin.

you tsk at the obvious imprint of the restraint on his wrists, which are probably hurting like hell yet he’s too awestruck to complain. you’re still on top of him, sitting on his steady chest as he just lets you inspect his hands, too worn out to even do anything. “i love you” he mumbles out. you take his hands and place them together against your chest before leaning down again to kiss his lips. he gently returns the kiss before letting you kiss all up his cheeks, nose, eyes and forehead. “promise to be good, kai” his glossy eyes search into yours as his hands roam across your waist.

“maybe”

taglist: @radioloom @r4vn @themoonchildwhofell @imjustheretoreadsmuthaha @love-me-pls @szapizzapanda @luckystrikerealness @fuckshitslover @khxna @juniperhasfallen

[starstabberzirc]

Swapping out the knife in favor of other weapons seems to be a ways off from my programming skills just yet, but I'm toying with some concepts for other weapons you can use against the evil hordes (all names pending):

Summon the Doss: a huge friendly statue flies through, destroying any enemies or obstacles in her way. (The statue in question is the Dame of Saint-Sernin, a Neolithic menhir or kurgan stelae of unknown significance because the French hadn't invented writing when it was carved around 3000BC)

Bell: ring it with your knife and it shoots in random directions

Eyeball Friend: this one's been with us since the earliest concept art, just your standard shmup assist shield

Knife Halo: standard video game invincibility powerup, just in the form of a spinning ring of knives

Friendly Spikeball (distinguished from other Spikeballs by its gold spikes and Zirc-teal body): poke it with the knife and it bounces away from you, hurting enemies and destroying obstacles

Good Soda Bottle: break it to release a splash of Anti-Enemy Juice (yes this does imply the existence of Evil Soda Bottle, a hazard that is harmless unless your knife or an enemy projectile breaks it, releasing a similar splash of pink Anti-Zirc Juice)

Kiwanocopter: seems to be a normal if stupid enemy until you stab its propeller off, then it falls and damages enemies underneath. Wait helicopters have rotors on top not on the side, this needs a new name

Cool S Storm: collect enough Cool S's and summon a storm of enemy-damaging Cool S's in random spots around the screen. BTW I checked and no the Cool S is not connected to clothing brands, Superman, or Nazis as various urban legends have tried to say; technically it is trademarked by a guy named Mark May but he says he just secured the trademark to prevent some big corporation from getting it first and then suing kids about it and that he's not planning on stopping anyone from using it. Guess we'll find out

[tapwater118]

pinned post jumpscare blauughh

pronouns.cc | strawpage

hiya i’m flower!

i'm plural i think. i (the host) also go by golf ball, GB, gaty, maddie, tap water, tap, captain coinpin (<- silly), etc. queer person on the internet with too many names, check

collectively tap/tap water, she/they, 21 y.o. (individual names/pronouns can be found in the pronouns.cc)

fictkin with a bunch of weird blorbos (if you couldn’t tell from the first part)

i like various things and then will proceed to draw them. big fat bfdi/osc special interest mostly (i am a huge multishipper (based) btw so erm yeah)

feel free to use my art and such as pfps/banners/whatever, just give credit pls

let the record show that i am bad at using social media so uh i am probably a terrible mutual sorry in advance

also if i like over explain something to you please do not take it as a slight against you, i am just autistic (as if it wasn’t obvious)

if ya wanna know more, feel free to shoot up the ask box or dms, i love answering questions. i also like taking requests over asks! just note that it may be some time before i get around to your request

(regarding dms, please come in with something more than ‘hi’. i’m not comfortable initiating conversation with someone im not familiar with.)

(also don’t flirt with me. you don’t have a rat’s chance)

dunno where else to put this but all the stuff you send to my strawpage is posted on @taps-strawpage-sillies so look there!

things you’ll probably see me blabber about/draw at some point:

object shows (particularly bfdi, but i also fw inanimate insanity, hfjone, boto, animatic battle, team room 125, orb, burner, object kerfuffle, love of the s*n, ppt2, itft, and others im probably forgetting) (oh and idfb fear garden tee hee)

mario

kirby

pikmin

undertale/deltarune

pizza tower

fnf

homestuck

fnaf

petscop

horror stuff in general

regretevator

to be expanded once i remember more stuff

(art may be suggestively crude in humor but never nsfw)

(also if you ask i can always add tags to stuff if you have something in particular you want to mute, i dont mind)

i am working on some cool projects i think you should check them out because they are cool:

Occasionally Coinpin: hosted over at @occasionallycoinpin. posting coinpin, occasionally (the main reason you don’t see coinpin content here all that often)

Book Askblog: hosted at @twotonedhardcover, where i pretend to be a gay little novel for shits and giggles

Battle for Hopes and Dreams: a bfdi x undertale au that puts the characters of bfdi in the world of undertale. tagged as “#battle for hopes and dreams”

Competition for Fantasy Retreat: a bfdi swap au that swaps characters’ compositions and parts of their personalities. tagged as “#competition for fantasy retreat”

BfDI 1990: an unfiction reimagining of bfdi as an NES game from 1990. tagged as “#BfDI1990” (unreality content warning for this). please note that this is NOT an ARG, there is no game or puzzle to be solved, it is simply unfiction

Tap’s BFDI D-Side: a bfdi d-side take, where characters’ designs and personalities are remixed for something new and refreshing! (based on fnf d-sides obviously) tagged as “#tap’s bfdi d side”

BFDI Redux: a hypothetical bfdi season 6, featuring many of the tpot rejects as well as underutilized veterans. tagged as “#bfdi redux”

OSC horror content: i like turning the silly blorbos into fucked up evil creatures. general tag is “#FLApasta” but each story has its own separate tag (general content warning for these)

other tags i’ll use frequently i think:

“#asks” all the crud that ends up in my inbox and also some very nice things. it is a mystery

“#yap fest” for general inane ramblings. i say some very stupid things

“#ultra yap fest” for long posts, including rants and character analyses

“#slop tier post” art and other things that are generally below a certain threshold of quality i hold for myself. i’m probably too harsh on myself but oh well

“#word salad yummy yummy” fanfic stuff. im on ao3 and wattpad if ya didnt know

“#top tier post” “#all the day every day” “#one for the ages” posts that i really really like. usually from moots

“#literally me” fictkin id posts. you get it. no you don’t. i don't get it either

“#oiny” wife

[therealjoeyquinn]

Stupid Zeroday theory

I think Cal's last name is a reference to Gabriel the angel.

Cal keeps his 'evil' locked away, to most people he probably seems angel esque right? In an innocence way?

To most people, including Rachel, Andre seems like the more violent/evil one in their friendship. Meanwhile Cal is just a follower.

If Rachel had to describe Cal, she wouldn't have anything bad to say about him, since she hasn't seen that side of him. Nobody except for Andre has.

Compared to Andre, it also seems like he's more active socially than Andre. Wether it's with his own family or Rachel's friends/people from his school. He tries to appear as someone he isn't. He doesn't want anyone seeing that side of him.

He is a devil wearing the mask of an angel. Simply just a fraud

(Btw, sorry if my English seems off.)

[cloverdaisies]

WISH YOU WERE SOBER: JI CHANGMIN

“nineteen but you act 25 now. real sweet but i wish you were sober.” a ji changmin very lightly suggestive¡ angst¡ fem reader¡ based on conan gray’s wish you were sober.

request from anon🤍 , that is your anon now btw i’ve named you bc your req was so sweet ☆

☆*:.｡. .｡.:*☆☆*:.｡. .｡.:*☆☆*:.｡. .｡.:*☆☆*:.｡. .｡.:*☆

“Spin the bottle, y/n.”

“It’s your turn bae”

“What are you so scared of have a bit of fun.”

My intoxicated classmates around the circle hollered and cheered for me to grab the empty bottle of bud on the ground. chewing at my lip in a fit of nerves, The alcohol intruding my conscience, as i wrapped my slightly damp palm around the bottle. With a twist of the wrist, I looked around the circle before I let go of the glass.

What is the worst case scenario?

The predatory eyes of every boy around the circle alerted my sense of safety in the room.

The intimidating glare of Juyeon.

The lick of lips from Hyunjae.

The hopeful eyes of Sunwoo and Haknyeon.

This is definitely

Or the face of the boy I used to love, his deer-like eyes watching the glass spin, a glint of light appearing over his face from the reflection of the moving bottle. Another girl clung to his arm like a parasite protecting him from the circle, despite the poor girl just being his bit of fun for that night.

The glass slowed, making a dragging sound across the floor eliminating each next person from the possibility of some time in the bathroom with me.

The bottle drew closer to my worst nightmare, the nerves in my stomach booming like thunder.

It landed on him.

Ji Changmin, a man that I swore was the love of my life at some point, but was no more than a lethal lover who stomped on my heart for his own selfish needs of alcohol, girls and a good time. Despite his innocent looks, he was a man of desire, abhorrent evil that tied his strings around the heart of women and pulled them like a ventriloquist because the status it gave him.

As the crowd around us chanted mixes of cheers and suspenseful “Ooooo” noises, his eyes darkened, landing on myself as I cowered away from his intense glare.

In my mind, his old words and bitter memories resurfaced and split to form new wounds on my heart.

“Nothing’s going to hurt you baby” but you did.

Taking me to intimate places where the music just drowned out into the background of our romance.

Kissing and loving me in the backseat of your car, fooling around like the stupid 18 year olds we once were. It’s a shame you act so much older now, time has moved in ways that shaped you to be the horrendous man you are.

“I’ll love you to the end” but you didn’t.

Dragging me back into my thoughts, I was pulled up by the girl hosting the party, dragging down the short black satin dress I was wearing in order not to flash the drunk staring crowd.

Moments flashed by before I was thrown into the harsh lighting of a nearby bathroom and facing the one man I couldn’t bear to be near.

“You look gorgeous.” He purred, panning down my attire tongue poking at the side of his mouth.

“Shutup. Is that all you have to say to me after all this time?” I crossed my arms in frustration, watching his eyes flick back and forth as if they were observing all the memories that had flashed back to me earlier.

“Still heartbroken?” He patronized me, with evil intent that shattered my heart - it was if he was a completely different boy to the one i had loved. “Be quiet and be mine again. Just for the night.”

His almond eyes became glossy, lust painted deeply inside of them which evidently juxtaposed the hints of regret behind the water which welled up in his tear ducts - as if he was trying everything in him not to fall at his knees and take me back with everything he could give.

“I will never be yours again.” I spat at the boy who edged closer to me, his hands falling over the sink behind me caging me in like prey.

“You want to be though.” He chuckled, “I can see it in your face, your ears going pink with embarrassment like they always used to. I know every little thing about you, (your name). I know you wore that dress because you knew I liked it, you knew I’d be here.”

“You’re still selfish. I hate you. I hate everything about you.” I hissed, infuriated by his every word that spiked into my heart like daggers piercing into my already slit wounds of romance.

“I think it’s clear we don’t hate each other baby.” He drew his face closer to my own, his minty breath laced with traces of beer, feathering on my lips.

Without a reply to give, he sealed his lips with my own, becoming more passionate as every memory exploded like bliss. A kiss that could only be described like a nostalgic masterpiece of romance, memories of his ripped jeans, bright smile, loving words that played on my mind like a piece of claire de lune.

Getting carried away with our love affair, memories of lust, want and need slowly started to interrupt my thoughts of logic and his too as our setting faded back into the background as it always did. Hands riding up clothing, roaming the skin of each body, unwanted memories forgotten about in seconds.

Tears started to slip from my eyes, everything I ever wanted was him. How I wish he never changed, how I wish he never hurt me the way he did.

“Darling you’re crying.” He halted his actions, immediately tending to wiping his thumb against my face to clear away the running water. Genuine concern laced his expression.

“I still love you.” I sobbed slightly, watching him as he stuttered, taken a back by the words

“I als-” He began, the familiar chocolate brown eyes that spoke to me of pure romance overbearing his shallow façade. Before the door could open he kissed me again, a quick conceal of passion that revealed his every intention to return my words.

“TIME’S UP LOVEBIRDS!” The host slammed open the door, as he moved away from me in conflict with himself. The crowd of the party hollered and cheered for us, dirty minds thinking thoughts of what happened behind that door.

Returning to my friends, I caught eyes with him across the party, he quickly downed another bottle of beer trying to shake my gaze - it’s clear he was in battle with his idea of status and his idea of love which broke my heart.

Wandering through the crowd, I attempted to grab the boy’s arm in hopes of stealing him away from the party again but no. I was beaten to it.

“Baby, did you do anything with her?” The girl leeched to his arm earlier asked, as she caught me trying to whisk what I could only assume as my last dooming thought was his girlfriend.

“No sweetheart, I don’t know her at all.” He smiled at her with reassuring eyes, a sick lie that helped him spin another web around another woman.

Into a thousands pieces, he’d hammered my heart with a mallet with each word of that sentence. My eyes welled up as I watched him look back about to leave the party.

“Give him time (your name).” Juyeon appeared behind me in the crowd as if he’d observed our every move.

“Time won’t fix him.” I sighed, tears cascading down my cheeks in a waterfall of bitter memories. “Time won’t fix me either, I just wish he was sober.”

Without him there wasn’t a reason anymore, without him I lost everything about myself.

The ghost of everything he ever did right, haunted me in bittersweet angel thoughts. He’d ran away with my heart and I would never get it back.

☆*:.｡. .｡.:*☆☆*:.｡..｡.:*☆☆*:.｡. .｡.:*☆☆*:.｡. .｡.:*☆

[bonefall]

Thoughts on the warrior cats ultimate guide? I love that book, I'd read it to my little brother a lot for fun and we would look at the cute cat pictures. It is canon for Rock to tell stories to dead kits... interesting?

I'm very favorable to most of the field guides, with Code of the Clans being my favorite. It's been my favorite since I was young, honestly, it was a very formative book for me growing up.

The Ultimate Guide actually came out during the time I wasn't reading Warrior Cats, after OotS made me ragequit as a kid by 'killing' off Hollyleaf and replacing her with Dovepaw (I love dove now though I got better).

I've never had the desire to pick it up though, it just sort of seems like retellings of stuff we already knew, mostly inspired by Cats of the Clans instead of the other field guides... which...

If you're thinking of the framing device of Rock and the kits, you're probably thinking of Cats of the Clans! I wish I had nicer things to say about it, Anon, because... I'm so sorry, I think it's by far the worst field guide in terms of original content.

I love that framing device where Rock is telling stories to kittens (and I plan to keep it for my rewrite in a very "I HATE CHILDREN HOW DO I MAKE YOU ALL LEAVE ME ALONE" way), but this book also did these other things,

"ThunderClan is the best and most noble Clan of all and they never attack unjustified and they love the warrior code more than you but hey I don't take sides."

"Also ShadowClan is literally evil. Be quiet Blossomkit this is only your first microaggression. This is not taking a side btw"

"The Tribe has such stupid names and they're so useless, anyway I'm a neutral observer"

"StarClan didn't mean for Cinderpelt to get hurt :( and she proved herself worthy of a second life by uhhh not letting her brother's children get eaten"

Rock ships Bramblesquirrel "He's the only one who can match her fire not contain it" cringe post from hairless rat

"Ashfur only ever tried to protect Squilf and was very loyal when he tried to kill his ex's three children. I'm still a neutral observer btw and not a writer self-insert."

I've actually like, always hated this one particular line in Brightheart's segment where Rock says that kits "shriek" when they see her face. Like... what the actual fuck. No, if a major member of your community has a big scar, in a society where big scars HAPPEN A LOT, it's normal to that child.

This entire part is like "Brightheart's life sucks so bad because shes so ugly, and people scream and wail and piss when she walks by, and she can't look at her face in the water without wanting to cry. Cloudtail understands though because his mom eats friskies. This is comparable."

Formative experience little Bones sitting there reading this like, "Brightheart's beautiful and super super cool. this is fucked up"

Aaaaaand lastly this is THE book where we get the Nightcloud Slander.

"Nightcloud should stop being such a bitch because she's the only one of Crowfeather's mates lucky enough to live with him"

"And also she's jealous and arrogant for... reasons"

"And she's overprotective of Breezepelt for Reasons"

Remember kits; if you're a male warrior, you're Protective and Ambitious. If you're a female warrior, you're Jealous and Arrogant.

Also Heatherpaw was selfish for meeting Lionpaw in the tunnels somehow because????? Rock Is A Neutral Observer, Remember

In a nutshell, this book makes Rock suck and was basically full of the rancid takes you see in a bad website article. It's got everything you hate to see in WC.

In any case though, god, you can't knock the old Wayne art. It's always an absolute delight.

[stuffedsand]

There's something interesting to be said about the opinions of different fanbases based on culture and how it affects the votes but it's late and I can't write it out too much so only one example for today: amane

Down under the cut so if it gets too long it won't affect anyone's scrollin

Also warning the tags are long on this one

- <- this indicates a new talking point

Basically I think the jp/more asian parts of the fandom tend to lean towards greater good (amane guilty to protect shidou/mahiru/fuuta because if shidous incapacitated in any way someone's dying, mahiru is prone to dying any moment, fuuta is prone to cult mindset rn). Despite my non japanese speaking ass not being able to gather direct evidence for this, I use those surrounding me (asian in asian country) as evidence; namely, how they're mostly amane guilty voters

-Now I'm not saying my personal take but the reason given for guilting her is well. As much as it will cause her more woe it's one way of guaranteeing the safety of the prison. Shidou is the only medical professional after all, and she's "completely hostile" towards him, acc to jackalope. And she doesn't need to overpower him; shes smart, and could sabotage his equipment or just like. Go for his hands to incapacitate him. I doubt he'd fight back.

-Alternatively, it's because it would cause her to fall back on believing she's right. Telling her she's forgiven with how she's acting would cause her to believe her persistance and dedication to this (harmful) mindset is what got her forgiven in the first place

-Meanwhile more western? English fanbase ig I'm not too sure of demographic, but the English speaking side tends to focus on how it affects her. Because of the belief that another guilty verdict will cause more harm to her, an innocent verdict is the obvious solution. What I've seen is the greater focus on what caused the murder over the murder itself and the effects of an innocent verdict on others and then her beliefs. A focus on the past over what she's promised to do in the present and future perhaps. Idk.

-Another reason for the difference could. Possibly be how punishment is viewed? Western countries have much more stigma over any form of punishment but in Asian countries it's normal. Now while I'd say physical punishment isn't the way to go, the refusal of punishment shouldn't be rewarded (imo) but that's all I'll say on it.

-The English fanbase also focuses a lot on how young amane is and how her circumstances were terrible and all that. Those around me tend to focus more on her thoughts around the crime, what she believes the crime was for and how in the right she thinks she is. This may also be the cause of the moral grandstanding I see so often (ie. If you vote amane guilty you're a baaad person) (I don't agree with this btw. That's stupid this is fiction don't insult others over an opinion)

What I will say is the English speaking side is more sympathetic towards amane. They (y'all?) Take her situation into a lot of consideration, and focus on her age as a large factor. Whereas those around me and I assume might be close to the views of the japanese fanbase are more objective, looking at what harm she could cause and what's the greater of the two evils, as well as what she's going to do with the verdict (ie. Use the inno verdict as her doctrines are correct and very right).

There's slight thought given to her age and circumstance of course, by it that's not the main concern rn. Given the current situation, most of my milgram voting friends stay certain that an innocent verdict will not end well, hence the guilty vote. I mean I have a couple friends that feel bad for guiltying her because of her circumstance, but do it anyway cuz it's for the better. My opinion is that she should've been innocent trial one, since we wouldn't have known the concequences, but it's too late now and an innocent will cause more harm overall

tldr asian fanbase from experience focus on the crime itself + what they're gonna do with that experience whereas eng speaking fanbase focus on the circumstances surrounding the crime and on judging only the crime

In myyy opinion. Judging only the crime based on your interpretation isn't how the system should be working, it should take into consideration the prisoners' attitudes and how the prisoner perceives the crime as well.

I hope this was coherent I typed it out at 11pm and went to bed immediately after and I've barely edited anything cuz awake me is less coherent than half asleep me

Also hope this was an interesting post? This topic is interesting to me but I explain better in speaking over typing so it's probably hard to read but I hope this topic scritches y'all's brains like it does mine :)

[gwyns]

An e/riel talked about how the fated mates quiz answers on sjm website could be potential plot lines and this was one of the comments they made:

“Emotional manipulation? She who must not be named - you know who - could have some emotional manipulation power. It fits in my opinion, especially with 'for whatever reason'...”

at the end of the post they added in a smaller font - “just want to add that emotional manipulation can be used in a positive way, like Max from Zodiac Academy does on occasion.”

I’m going to assume the she who must not be named is referring to Gwyn. I don’t understand is why e/riel’s harp so much about Gwyn being a side character/not important enough to further the plot, but constantly come up with theories of her being a lightsinger or being evil/having ulterior motives. If Gwyn turns out to be a lightsinger or evil there is no way that won’t take up a big portion of the book, that won’t be ignored and will be important. At least the added emotional could be used in a positive way, I guess. I’m just really tired of people being hateful (and misogynistic) towards Gwyn because of her possibly being Azriel’s mate. Why is it always somehow Gwyn possibly being evil? Why is it always trying to make her the villain? I’m so sick of it. It’s quite disheartening.

i really think stan culture has rotted their brains because in what world does a silly little quiz hold any relevance when it comes to future books? i promise you sjm had little to no say in that and it's just there to give fans something to interact with while we wait. looking for clues in a buzzfeed style quiz is like bringing a clown to a gun fight, it's stupid, wastes everyone's time and the clown is needlessly killed

the clown is e/riels' literary comprehension btw

i rubbed my temples in real time reading the rest of your ask. "for whatever reason" is just a fancy way of sjm saying "hey look! this means something!! pay attention!!!" sometimes i wonder if this is all just some big joke we're not part of because how do so many people miss the point? but then i go out irl and realize that oh! some people are just stupid

it's always the same, isn't it? oh gwyn isn't important, she's an irrelevant maid, side character, her story is over and blah blah... yet they get online to write paragraphs upon paragraphs about how evil she is and how she's going to corrupt az and be an obstacle for e/riel. that sounds like a pretty important character to me but hey! what could i know? i only get my information from the books themselves and not outside sources like our smart queens, the e/riels 👑

[knightsofsomethingorother]

Episode 04 - Even Knights have to Eat

"Merlin are you sure this bird knows what it's talking about?"

"Unlike human beings birds do not know HOW to lie."

EXCELLENT START TO AN EPISODE. After that Merlin opens by summoning a storm and blasting it with magic. Anyway Arthur makes the below face twice and they reuse the same gasp for both.

So their quest is to find the "keys of thruth" so they can get the real King Arthur and his knights back, which I am excited to see because I desperately want to know which knights they'll pick, or if they'll name them at all. Also this means that the real Arthur is getting cucked by his... doppleganger? Reincarnated self? I am also very excited to see if Arthur King gets cucked by Lance. That thought is the only thing getting me through this.

Merlin exposits some more about how each knight has their own key to unlock, so I guess each football boy is going to have his own episode dedicated to his character. Interesting! Can't wait until we get to the very racist depiction of an Asian guy.

Anyway Morgana feels a disturbance in the force aaand more exposition. Yay. This is also a good time to stop and say that Morgana deserves a WAY better and dumber outfit. She's the main baddie and all of her henchmen have stupid outfits and she looks... fine. Which is a TRAGEDY. This woman deserves SPIKY SHOULDER PADS at the very least!

The plot for this is that Arthur... *squints* Gallop, Breeze, and... Phil won't be allowed food or quarter from the peasantry, who we've only seen once and he was evil. Implying that the lower classes are all on the baddies side which is interesting! I'm sure they'll do something interesting with this!

We get a super long transformation sequence and a super long fight scene with that same music and 'guys shouting' audio. It's also revealed that Arthur picked the guys with the silliest voices to come with him to find his Key of Truth. Two of the baddies get knocked into each other and... Guy with vaguely southern accent said 'You two make a looovely couple!'

Next up they find a man being assailed by three little goblin guys with Mexican accents who then beat up Guy with Southern Accent who I think is either Phil or Gallop?

Then the goblin's accents change as it's revealed that the peasant accidentally stumbled on their territory. The goblins run off, the peasant tells Arthur about the 'don't allow quarter' thing, then the show surprises me with a bit of continuity and Arthur demands proof that the peasant is loyal. The proof is that Merlin's bird lands on him and that's good enough for Arthur.

So basically we aren't doing anything interesting conflict here. Are we? Thanks, I love it.

They get some food from these peasants and southern voice guy is revealed to be Phil! We have another name to a face! The baddies show up and the football boys decide to hide so they won't know the peasants helped them. I mean they could just take these two back to Camelot or fucking... kill/imprison the dudes that they've been kicking the asses of this whole time, but sure. Whatever.

TIME TO HIDE IN SOME HAY.

The baddies show up, kidnap the peasant's wife. And then Phil gets pissed off and announces that he's going to save her while the other three hold him back, showing both Agency and a Character Trait. He is thusly launched into #1 character status. I can't wait to see how long he holds it.

Phil comes up with a plan to be delivered to the baddies by the peasant and then once the prisoner trade happens he'll fight his way out. The other three offer nothing and decide to 'add something else' to his plan. The baddies take Phil and the peasant hostage and then the goblins phase out of the ground to offer their help because... AND FOLLOW ME ON THIS.

-The football boys saved the peasant who was being ganged up on (the guy admitted to trespassing btw)

-Arthur then 'spared their lives'

SURE OKAY FINE. DEUS EX MACHINA WHY NOT?

We've got another fucking fight scene, can't delay that! Fight scenes that have zero tension because all of the football boys can summon giant animals from their shields. If I was a little boy watching this in the 90s, I'd probably be more annoyed about that than I am today.

But yeah, the goblins open up holes beneath the baddies feet, Phil and the peasants are freed, Phil joins the fight, aaand we're done. Phil gets to knock two guys over and fight the bird baddie for like 2 seconds. GREAT. THANK YOU.

Everyone learns about Loyalty or something.

Anyway this next part legit pissed me off.

So they find the key, and Phil goes for it. Being the guy who exhibited the most Loyalty in this Loyalty-based episode it would make sense for this to be HIS key.

NOPE. IT JUST MELTS. OKAY.

He can't touch it because that's ARTHUR'S key. His specifically. This sucks ass! Phil epitomized the lesson, he got the most focus aside from Arthur, and he had a bunch of silly shots. I wasn't expecting a lot from this show but it would have been SIMPLE to say 'oh yeah he was the loyalest guy here and got the key because he was worthy of it, guess it wasn't Arthur's'. Boom, done, lesson's packed up with a bow and now they never have to use Phil in a main role again reducing cast bloat. It isn't groundbreaking, but it works and it's narratively satisfying, which is all it needs to be.

Not Bohbot, though. Not Knights of Justice. My man Phil got robbed. 0 goblins phasing through reality out of 5.

On to the next episode, Assault on Castle Morgana.

Bus Boy! (I'm not calling him Lug) Glad to see you again! He exhibits cowardly traits as they are attacked. This is surely set up for payoff later. Right? Right???

You're not going to wound me twice in one night, are you Knights of Justice?

So yeah. Fight scene where nobody uses their shield animals. Camelot the STONE building is set on fire by... rocks that were set on fire. I guess stone is just flammable here. That's honestly the least of nitpicks here.

Anyway the football boys decide to go on the offense and attack Castle Morgana and the baddies capture a unicorn. Roll with it.

This unicorn looks rad by the way? I mean I get that they made it explicitly more 'masculine' to appeal to little boys but we aren't here to examine that sort of thing. I like this high school mascot of a horse.

Then Merlin's shit starts floating and that can "only mean one thing. A unicorn's been captured." There's an explanation but I'm overlooking that in favor of the first funny joke in this show.

Things are starting to look up!

Merlin exposits some more, there's some stuff with the squires and... Holy shit they're strategizing?

THEY'RE STRATEGIZING, GUYS!

Send a decoy in through a sea-level entrance and sneak in through an entrance up at the top. Wild. An actual plan. Arthur brings along BOTH black guys, the largest meathead, and Bus Boy who looks down about something. We might have a good episode (for this show) on our hands! Maybe the black guys will get some character beyond 'black guy'!

Maybe.

This came out in '92 after all.

Now I'm sad. Where were we?

OH MY GOD PEOPLE LIVE IN CAMELOT. Did I start watching a different show? What the fuck is going on?

They leave, there's a fight scene with the guys camped outside Camelot, one of the squires is revealed to have fallen asleep inside one of the... chariots? Chariots. The football boys are upset that Tyrone (the squire, his name's Tyrone by the way) is there despite encouraging other squire (I forgot his name) being encouraged to fight like 2 episodes ago. Tyrone is the squire who beat the shit out of a grown man on his own, by the way.

So the plan works and they're able to sneak in.

They grab Morgana by her forearms, completely depowering her. That's not like a joke on the trope by the way, she apparently channels her magic through her hands and if she can't move them, no magic. Not sure why she couldn't have cast a spell- WAIT.

They don't even need the fucking unicorn! Just grab her ass and run! She's the main villain! THEY, FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES, JUST WON! What the FUCK?

AND NOW THEY'RE IN THE PRISON THE REAL ARTHUR AND CO ARE STUCK IN? This is episode 5 our of 26 why are they blowing their load this early?! What's going on?!

Oh.

Okay.

She just slipped out of their grasp and ran away. Nnneat.

Anyway real Arthur tells football!Arthur to leave him, go find the unicorn, and trust Exaclibur or some shit.

Aaand I guess Bus Boy can summon Cthulu judging by his shield! Good for him! He saves Tyrone and the unicorn and everyone goes home. The unicorn caches them about halfway back and uses the telepathy it (and Real Arthur apparently) have to thank them and tell them that it'll tell ALL ANIMALS that they're on the football team now.

So starting with the good. The first 2/3rds of this episode were solid, there was a single funny joke, and Bus Boy never outright said 'gee golly I wish I was more courageous I sure am a sad pathetic loser'.

The bad. They should have won the television show. They had the big bad and her second RIGHT THERE. That's just writing yourself into a corner. They didn't NEED to put in the part where they just fucking... caught the bad guy and depowered her. They could've just gone for the unicorn and had some traps or spooky poltergeist stuff going on to scare Bus Boy. Fuck, you could've still shown the real Arthur and co in prison and show the audience that just hitting the weird crystals they're stuck in doesn't work, reinforcing the importance of the Keys of Truth.

They could've done any number of things but they went with the single most frustrating of all possible options to piss me off 31 years later specifically. Clearly that's the only logical explanation. They foresaw that a dweeb of an adult would be watching it for a Tumblr Dot Com Blog. Knights of Justice? More like the Knights of... low... stakes and... even lower tension! Ha!

Gottem.

This one's 2 Cthulu shields out of 5.

I'm going to start keeping track of which 3 characters I like the most, starting now:

1- Phil

2- Bus Boy

3- Tyrone

[kingofdinosaurs]

god actually sorry i have GOT to say this somewhere else besides discord. P4AU SHADOW YU FUCKING SUUUUUUUUCKS!!!! the manga and the p4 anime BOTH handle him better and it pisses me off so MUCH that the version of him that people will probably encounter most is that stupid fucking thing. like he just straight up doesn't work as a counterpart to yu? because he's nothing that actually hits close to home and is undeniably the way he feels. the p4au original shadows are a little shaky on how much they actually work as shadows to their respective selves (because they aren't really. but they're supposed to imitate it well enough) BUT shadow yu is absolutely the worst because he just isn't actually anything to do with yu narukami's deepest hated feelings!

like, the version of shadow yu in the anime (which, btw, actually is referenced in p4au!!!) is absolutely my favourite version of the concept, because he just rings so true as something yu would feel and do his best to repress. he's all that desperation for connections with others, for any kind of companionship in his lonely life. and now that yu has all that he pushes those feelings away and pretends they didn't exist. but the cracks keep showing, and he sees his friends die. and he'd rather turn against every moral he has, give up on the quest for the truth that brought him this far, the works. because he would do anything not to be alone again. and i think shadow yu in the p4au MANGA works really well as a continuation of that! in his brief time in the manga he's almost hopelessly dependent on outside forces for confidence and stability, and switches sides on a dime because yosuke was kind to him. and this actually WOULD bother yu! he's spent so much time working towards this goal they all share! and yet he gave it up in a second so he wouldn't have to be left alone. it works for him, and it IS a critique of his worst qualities that he cannot deny.

with this in mind, p4au ingame shadow yu makes me so annoyed. he's just this edgy "what if yu was evil and hated his friends" cliche that fucking sucks and doesn't actually constitute any useful commentary on the character. if you're GOING to canonise his name from the anime and reference how shadow yu looked there, you could at LEAST carry the actual concept of the shadow across! it fucking sucks.

[wantonlywindswept]

mando 3.8 liveblog (at least it’s finally over)

alright here we go

hey what happened to not being able to use comms

i will consider it justice if axe dies too

ahh feckin imps with beskar

did they? drug him??? hit him?? HE WAS WALKING FINE BEFOR---nevermind

ewwww they even have flamethrowers???? fuckin mando wannabes

also lol really only 2 of them for din??

baby~!!

no torture for din :(

btw BO YOU LET THE INFANT WANDER OFF ON HIS OWN??

tracking?? WHY IS HE RED AND GROGU A GREEN DOT oh cos droid mb? that would make sense. fucking hilarious if they were color-coordinated by gideon tho lmao

scomp. what. what is that word

frankly surprised R5 wasn’t scrapped tbh, he DID deserve it

guys you. you cannot make another R2. i do not have emotional investment in a droid that betrayed the covert

din why ask questions when you can’t understand him

yes! yes if axe dies on the cruiser as his epic death scene i will allow it for paz

fuckin love mandalorians just. flinging themselves out into space. love them.

ah yes the stupid vader shields

IS THIS GONNA BE ANOTHER DUEL OF THE FATES bc it can’t, that shit was too cool to be remade

mmmmm knives

PARRY THIS BLADE BETWEEN THE ARMOR YOU FILTHY CASUALS

i am loving all of his kicky moves

tube people! 

are these the mandalorian jedi i wanted--oh my god the bitch cloned himself THE NARCISSIM. i mean im not surprised but

damn that life beneath the surface though, so green

oh boo that means the armorer isn’t the spy doesn’t it

is it just gonna be ‘facist chick and gideon were the spies for the evil facism council’?? so boring.

oh my god that flying saber pose pls

lol u bitches wanna try to take on mandos mid-air? you’re not THAT good of copies

I WAS RIGHT I WAS RIGHT HE WANTED TO PUT THE FORCE INTO CLONES/MANDALORIANS I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT DEMAGOLKA 2.0

technically he exploded them before they could draw their first breath

guys beskar v beskar hand to hand is. silly.

ohh worm? mando vs shithead fake siths?

baby jedi vs sith??

oh god that heartbroken little ‘no’ din yelled

guys you’re being beaten by a giggling infant

oh gideon totes put an exoskeleton in his suit didn’t he, loser

no. no. no. really? really bo vs gideon? my fucking god it hate it.

we were shown how gideon vs mando was important, their fight vs each other during the seasons, and the fight gets passed over to bo. like yeah i get din saving his kid more important but i just. the lack of payout.

woves you’re still alive?

OH?? OHHHHHHHHH UIT BROKE? IT BROKE IT BROKE IT BROKE FUCK YEAH FUCK YEAH

seriously the classist bitch gets to live but paz doesn’t??? lame. uber lame. go down with your fucking ship woves

so slippy slidey

okay if gideo died in that fire they abso---NEVERMIND BABY FOR THE WIN

damn love that precedent being taken advantage of. would love if more things were too

rip the great forge

oh??? mythosaur??????? please??????

oh no ragnar

why you gotta be like this

oh i guess they didn’t count his as complete

FUICKING. BAPTISM??

oh we gonna baptize grogu now too?

OH? OH I WAS FUCKING RIGHT YOU DIDNT CONSIDER YOURSELF A DAD YET YOU MOTHERFUCKING GO ON, SAY THE FGUCKING WORDS FUCKING DO IT

MYHSAUR NOW??  FOR MANDO JEDI???

DIN GROGU HELL YEAH. also does that mean the naming styles are eastern asian style? IS DIN ACTUALLY HIS LAST NAME. WOT. is ‘din’ some form of appellation? WHAT IS GOING ON

oh my god are y0ou fuckign srs he has to leave mandalore already what is this SHIT

MTYHOSAUR??? BABY SEE MYTHOSAUR????

oh worm visiting the pubs? yay more carson!!

oh my god are we ACTUALLY bringing back the droid

lawls vacation cabin, glad to see the secondary ‘obtain a house’ quest was fulfilled

oh god we brought the droid back as the marshall

din get a landscaper in there

congratulations din djarin on successfully becoming the npc side character he always wanted to be

[reservoirreputation]

I have a problem called Harvey Keitel, but damn do some of the movies he stars in sound real fuckin depressing.

AND. THEN.

I spot 'Two Evil Eyes'

SO GET THIS

it's got Harvey in it (duh) it'S DIRECTED BY GEORGE ROMERO AND DARIO FUCKING ARGENTO????? DOING ADAPTATIONS OF STORIES BY EDGAR ALLEN POE????????

THIS SOUNDS AMAAAAAAAZZIIIIIIIIIING

Romero's first, THE FACTS IN THE CASE OF MR. VALDEMAR

Our main female character's suit is both very eighties, but actually looks nice? It was *only* 1980, I guess it's before things got our of control.

Couldn't help but like her a bit. Practicing her retort in the car is so human, you can't help sympathizing with her.

The mistress wants to get paid- is it wrong I kinda agree with her? I mean, assuming she has nothing to do with her husband's impending death.

Obvious forgery is obvious.

Ernie and the Doctor sound very similar *side-eyes*

One, the house is beautiful, two, are Jessica and her totally-not-sancho wearing clothes made from the same bolt of fabric? I mean, that's one way to code that they're working together.

Jessica at least has some shame- the titular Mr. Valdemar is pretty much a puppet, at this point. Her cohort is trying to justify it, saying her husband's a bad man.

ROBERT AN JESS ARE EXES

Valdemar literally stole his girl, damn.

Well then. I went from pitying the poor guy because he's awake now and in so much pain, to disliking his ass because of how he talks about his wife.

Wall safes are so cool. Also, Robert clearly didn't know about it. Looks like he won't need Jess' full cooperation, huh?

'nothing at all to connect us' nothing telegraphs that their romantic relationship is dead more than that, huh?

Gotta love Ernest having such a timely death. So much for those efficient millions.

Three weeks at Valdemar's baaaaabbbbbyyyyyy.

oh shit, at fist I thought they chopped him up (stupid, they were just talking about making him look fresh for a mortician) but DAMN my brain really went there.

So many similarities between this and Bernie. Wild.

That shot of the feet disappearing under the stairs- *chef's kiss*

'I'm glad to see that you're finally doing the right thing' YES NIGHT NURSE, RUB THE SALT INTO THAT WOUND

Damn, that pool might as well be an ocean between them, huh? Also, they're wardrobe couldn't be visually further apart, now.

Those massive fuckin' sunglasses, listen to the Eagles baby, you can't hide your lyin' eyes (also a song about a young wife cheating on her cold as ice husband with a much younger man, more 'age appropriate')

OH NO DON'T TELL ME THAT POOR BASTARTD'S STILL ALIVE

OH NOOOOO

DON'T ACTUALLY MAKE ME FEEL BAD FOR HIS BITCH ASS (they're all terrible tho)

FUCKING HELL ROBERT, KNOCK ASSHOLE

He's totally alive down there.

OK tubi's got ads, no shit, but I just got a Credit Karma ad? With a non-binary MC named Morgan?? I LOVE THIS?? I LIKE THIS PICTURE BECAUSE I AM IN IT?!?!?!

Back to the movie 'I'm here, I'm with you, nothing is gonna happen' SOMETHING IS ALREADY HAPPENNING

I love how Jesse's vibe is never 'oh no, my husband's still alive and is suffering!' and instead is 'I'm being HAUNTED'

No, wait she's not in denial?

Hm, your husband has some freezer burn, I'm afraid you'll have to throw him out.

NO WAIT, OH SHIT OH FUCK IT'S THE HYUPNO BULLSHIT MOTHERFUCKER IS STILL ALIVE

What a fucking nightmare.

Nope, sorry, he is in fact dead. I'm apparently as confused about it as this doctor is. BTW, trying to pry his frozen eyes open? That's also good shit.

Boy, I started this to get to some Harvey Keitel, and I ended up watching some existential terror.

Oh god, he just wants to be woken up.

'The others are coming'?? Oh shit, I've seen this Doctor Who episode.

'It's over' insert John Cena meme 'are you sure about that?'

'they're coming for you Jessica' is so close to 'they're coming to get you, Barbara' that I am unreasonably delighted by it.

Yo, Robert, you might wanna GTFO

Hey, isn't that the guy from Night of the Creeps?

When all your budget went into the location and Ernest's special effects, that the 'others' gotta settle for body suits.

Nevermind, a good portion of the SFX also went to Robert.

Heh? Get it?? Blood money??

Next is Dario Argnto: THE BLACK CAT

We get a bunch of crime scene photos, and then one very good boy (a black cat) Look, I've got four black cats, I don't know if I can put up with any impending slander.

'Sir, you think there's any chance of me being transferred back to parking violations?' SHIT GIRL SAME WE'RE IN THE DEEP END ALREADY

You know, I was wondering why they were using an obvious dummy, and then we get the overhead shot. In just a few seconds, we get a very different tone and execution, holy fucking shit.

"I'm sorry' proceeds to take cool-ass shots of a death trap. Gee, I wonder what fate will befall this poor artsy bastard.

AHHHHH IT'S A CUTE BOOOOOOOOOY (Harvey in a bow tie)

AHHHHH IT'S A CUTE BOOOOOOOOOY (Black cat existing)

Correction: AHHHHH IT'S A CUTE GIIIIIIIRRRRRRRLLL

Found the cat on the street, story of all my animals. They just show up, know that we'll feed 'em. Sure, you might get your balls cut off, but ain't that worth the kibble? Also, you'd better not be pointing out that white mark on her chest just to kill her later, and that be the only identifying marker. I swear to god, movie-

One, yeah that cat's staring at you. Two, this sweet girl reminds me so much of Buttons. The eyes, the white patch. God, I miss him.

You know what, fair enough, worrying about gettin' your eyes clawed out. One of our cats likes to attack people's feet, but only when they're covered. He prefers my Mom's which just comes across as spiteful. (God, this movie's gonna expose me as an annoying cat owner, isn't it?)

How the fuck did this fucking cat get OUTSIDE? Bitch, you were in the hallway, stop teleporting. Also, LET THE BABY INNNNNN.

You motherfucker, throwing the shoe and then pretending you were asleep. Your girlfriend needs to smack you.

My dislike of the photographer aside, Harvey looks great in a bathrobe, soaking wet. Also, is he contractually obligated to have a comb with him in 90% of his films? 'Cause it sure feels like it.

If this doesn't end with his obvious witch girlfriend sacrificing his ass because he pissed off/hurt the cat, then I don't know what's gonna happen.

Welp, the cat's dead, innit? Well, she may come back and haunt his ass, but he totally killed her. Girlfriend's underreacting BTW. If I knew with certainty that my partner/anyone I was living with killed my pet-

Now I'm really hoping his ass gets cut in half. Or that the cat comes back to eat his eyeballs.

There's something very wholesome about a village coming together to execute an animal abuser.

'But I didn't finish!' is unintentionally hilarious. Buddy, I think you got them all.

Who the fuck is this student?? And why does he literally look like a child?? Who looks at a woman crying and goes 'God you're beautiful?' *Grabs spray bottle for both of these idiots*

Did he really- deny killing the cat- and then release a book showing him killing the cat?

THE BITCH IS BACK

IT'S DEFINITELY HERS

Buddy- did you not learn your lesson? Killing the cat twice isn't gonna help. Also, he's apparently gonna hang, a shame. I was really banking on him getting cut in half.

That shot of the staircase from the top down- I think I know where Rod's gonna hang.

Something about the CC reading 'knife pierces skull' that just- oof.

The shot of him frantically scrubbing off blood, then it cutting to her blood staining the bath water- that's cinema, right there.

Oh shit OH SHIT ARE WE ABOUT TO HAVE A SECOND BODY

Nope. Something about jazz music playing loudly in the background makes this feel even more insane.

'together forever' honestly made me think he was gonna kill himself. No, I think he's just gonna- carry her corpse everywhere. They're going on vacation, after all.

HE'S HIDING HER BEHIND A WALL!?!?! BITCH WHAT THE FUCK

*Grumbles* Piece of shit still looks cute in a bowtie.

The cutout of her face is hilarious. You can't tell me they didn't do that for a laugh.

'Nobody will think of looking for you in the house' AND WHEN SHE STARTS TO SMELL?! WHAT THEN!?!?!

I guess you could say that the call was coming from inside the house? Eh?

OH CAT VISION THE BITCH IS BACK

So, the student that looks like a child is Christian. I'm still convinced this fucker's in high school, or he's just got a baby face.

Okay, I don't like the little twerp, I'm biased against him, but like, acting all cocky, like a know-it-all going, 'That's strange. Well, you think if she'd have gone on tour, she would have taken her violin.' And then Rod calmly replying 'She has two' I actually cackled.

God, Gloria looks horrified to know she's friends with a woman who was living with her boyfriend, not her husband, like they're shacked up in sin.

Look, Christian, you're right, but I don't like you. Fuck off.

The hole starting to form, bringing something into the light, as Rod slinks off into darkness- I LOVE MOVIES, OKAY!?

Oh, I see, it's a symbol. Neat.

Wasn't the phone just unplugged? Did they force him to plug it back in when I wasn't looking?

OKAY. LISTEN.

WHEN THE LADY FROM THE BAR SAID 'IT'S DESTINY' THE CC READ RIGHT AFTER 'SHE'S PREGNANT' BUT I DIDN'T HEAR SHIT. I THOUGHT IT WAS A GLITCH

THIS IS FUCKING NASTY/GREAT

Not to help the animal abuser/girlfriend beater, but don't you have a knife, buddy? To cut off the dead weight? I know fear makes us stupid, but um

AH FUCK HE DIDN'T HANG IN THE STAIRWELL

Thank you movie, for that Humane Society seal of approval. Like, the cat was so obviously not being tortured, just a little squished, but it is still nice to see.

Trust Dario Argento to pick out a catchy soundtrack.

This movie got batshit crazy by the end. I definitely prefer the second movie to the first, but both are good. *jams out to 'woman singing in Italian'*

[rsbry-beret]

watching vox machina for the first time!!

SPOILERS BELOW. SO MANY. FOR ALL THE EPISODES IN SEASON 1

telling apart vax and vex is gonna SUCK

liam obrian my beloved

they’re so stupid this mean council guy is OBVI a dragon who can shapeshifte,, these fools

the king is a dilf

awwww vax with kids

AWWWW THE KIDS ARE DEAD UH

gnc barkeep nice

this show is rly gross like. barf blood ew

THSI INTRO SLAPS

thought fince the dragon was just trying to drive down real estate prices until he mentioned bargaining w gold

TUSK LOVE in gilmore’s shop omg

WAIT THE SCOTTISH GUYS THE DRAGON WHATTTTT NOT THE RAISIN GUY ???

why is there a troll dick

this sad victorian stage coach??? apparently his name is DESMOND which. yeah.

omg vampire nevromancer power couple?? hate them but also love that for them.

i’ve been told to stop chanting “horsdeourves” (how spell)

oh 1% anime boy has trauma D:

THE SNAKES NAME IS SIMON 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

vax ur awesome

yea okay i love percy hes my fav

apparently he needs wooden bullets?

side note would silver work ???? bc ik silver works for “evil” creatures generally like werewolves and steel for “nice” creatures like fey?? so would vampires count hmmm

also btw their fancy outfits are so coooool i love them !!

we’re taking a break and i have many thoughts;

do grogs tattoos have significance??

also cleric struggling w faith hell yea cool side quest tho

vax being disaster bisexual ICONIC of him

surprisingly i am not struggling w vax vs vex names v much :0

BEADS OF LOVE

your soul is forfeit dude ur so cool

duuuude secret passages!!!

WHY did the guards keep the twins together??? big stupid moment ngl

woa the ever light kinda dark tho. just saying.

keyleth <3 ur so nice 🥰🌸😇

ghosts fuck yes

NOOO THE GUARDS WERE SO HOT NOOOOO

aw grog not wanting to break piles shrine

ghost grabbed grogs titties lol

why doesn’t ANYONE have the light spell omgggg

PERCY IS CURB STOMPING A GHOST RN WHAT

He’s my fav

oh my GOD grog’s “what if i need you?” 🥺🥺🥺

“you’re their light now” stfu 😭😭

omg gilmore’s back :0

ok but what the heck IS percys weird shadow smoke thing??? intriguing

oh my god vax is a bisexual disaster wow.

these scenery shots are sooo pretty oh my god

oh my god that’s a massive fuck off dog

woaaa cool omg it’s just a torso that’s metal as fuck

that’s awesome ok

wow

hahah cool blood dogs okie

it’s sorta trottin along aww

percy’s tutor guys is eugh

AWWWW VAX “kiki”

bruh “friend”

wow these guys. suck at not accidentally bringing up percys trauma lol

vex’s abandonment issues popping off okay

this whitestone flashback is GORGEOUS so it’s gonna be in ruins now :/

yea it sucks now 😬 sun tree looking uhhhh

fits the vampire aesthetic a lot more now ngl but i like the pretty version personally

oh damn. the ending of episode 5. damn. augh

percy V pale. vitamin deficiency? very very white boy

why tf are there giants/goliaths here?? does not make sense bestie like is it an ecosystem thing? additional guard force?? i am wondering.

whitestone? more like graystone OOOOO BURN it’s bc the city is dirty.

religious person keeping the peace? BOOOO RISE UP VIVA LA RESISTANCE

Oh nvm she’s in the resistance ! sick. good for her.

aww archie and percy childhood crushes?? adorable

everlight on FIRE?? i guess not dark now but that can’t be good oof

“those were bad ideas and you should all feel bad” so tru bestie

also vax and percy standing like a power couple in that scene polycule rights

that’s a RLY COOL gun scope omg

haha back door team are all bottoms

oh my GOD they can’t open the door jesus

help action unsuccessful yikes scanlan

scANLANS FOOT???

PERCY FELL OUT A WINDOW

oh my god archie is nice and i like him <3

keyleth going FERAL I LOVE THAT FOR HER

WAIT. scanlans piercing is on the gay ear !!!!!

FUCK YES NO MERCY PERCY

and the NAME melts off the GUN this RULES

Cassandra is alive!!!!! holy shitttt

percy was a NERD in his youth

still is lol

this tutor suuuuuuucks booo

“who’s the sixth barrel for?” THE SHADOW. OH.

awwww archie and percy <3 <3 cute

let. me. be. annoying.

oh this lute music is a VIBE.

scanlans song slaps as well this is great

OMG THE GUARDS ARE PLAYING DND HAHA

“he’s a really tall guy” “scanlans just got shrunk” thanks @a-human-pippin-took i’m dumb at moments

WHAT FIRE BREATH WHAHAHAT HA

HEY HE IS BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE!!!!

this rules.

DUDE HES A TRICERATOPS THIS IS AMAZING 🦖🦕🦖🦕🦖

So dinosaurs are real??? or are they like mythical creatures in this universe ?

i can’t believe this mission was a total success good job scanlan

dick lightning omg nice sam

oh shit. cass. fuck man.

FUCK this tutor guy !

this loser brought a sword to a gun fight. sHit nvm he brought golems

OH MY GOD SHES ALOVE SHE SURVIVED JESUS CHRIST AH THANK GOD

pikes side quest goin Wild rn

oh THATS what it’s supposed to look like. a bit more light-y

oh this possession thing is uhhhhhh Fucked Up

oh my GOD percy is cool. fucked up but cool.

cass is. she has trauma as well! oof moment

oh my god. keyleth and the de rolo crest. that’s cool as fuck 😌😌

this vampire building is cool af and definitely trustable!!

uhhh that’s some. strange looking ceiling mold. 😬

oh FUCK THAT the hanged children have been ununalived now

ARCHIE NOOOOOIIIIIIOOOOOOIIOJOOKOOOOOOO THIS IS SO SAD

still torn up about that but holy shit keyleth

aw “kiki” 💚💚💚

that was a V good speech percy!! i miss archie :,(

oh my god “you know i’m in love with you, right?” “NOW?”

PIKE YES

“marry me?” “yes right now let’s do it” “really?” “no”

aw fuck still zombos

necromancer lady tattoo is messy as fuck. stick poke?

vax u CANT just free EVERYONE who the briarwoods hate,,

woa percy what did she do tho

oh this credits song!! <3 cute

oh FUCK this doctor lady

egh i rly don’t like anna ripley eghhhh

i agree w scanlan lol the smoke is a Bit fucked up lol lol hmmmm

WOA

OH MY GOD WHAT PERCY WHAT UR SOUL DUDE WHAT WOAH WHAT

this is so sus

cass u better be chill and not not chill

OH THATS SO COOL OMG “you’re at the bottom of my list”

taliesin king of one liners and crow noises

i only just realized pike is astral projecting

sick dagger vax 🔥🔥🔥

WAIT THE NAME CAS NO

shit fuck balls i called it

shittttt

percys crying vex is crying i’m gonna cry

HEAVY METAL

grog why is ur dick named that,,,,,

oh scanlan u genius

WATCHING W SUBTITLES ORTHAX IS THE WEIRD DEMON WTF AHHHH

percy holding his arm back from shooting cass,,,

oh my god scanlans muted,,,, smart but UGH

PIKE !! ❤️❤️❤️❤️💕❤️💕❤️❤️💕💕💕

KEYLETH THE LIGHT YEs

WEAKENS VAMPIRE FREES VEX THIS RULES YES

FUCK. YES. PIKE. THIS IS AWESOME KICK HER ASS

ok that fight was EPIC

And cass is more chill again!

aw fucks sake vampire lady pls stop it jeez

KEYLETH

the demon is orb

shittttttt

percy nooo ur soul is being overtaken haha

okay i got so wrapped up in the last episode i forgot to write ANYTHING but this show is VERY GOOD i highly recommend

!!!

[s-brant]

Cherry Bowl (3/8)

(gif: @kiekiecarrera) (PART TWO) (PART FOUR) (SERIES MASTERLIST)

Summary: When Kie cancels their plans together, Y/N asks JJ on a date to the Cherry Bowl Drive-In. Unsure of how to navigate his first ever date, JJ seeks out advice. Unfortunately, the night doesn’t go as planned, and both parties are left shaken by miscommunication.

Word Count: 10.6k

Warnings: Smut, public sex/exhibitionism, sexual choking, angst, depictions of mental illness, post-traumatic stress disorder, and implied/referenced abuse.

A/N: Welcome back to Tokens! Slight trouble in paradise is brewing for these two lovers, so buckle up and read because it’s gonna be a rollercoster for a little while after what happens in this chapter. I hope you all like it, and if you did, feedback is very appreciated. Have fun!

"I'm just saying that oatmeal raisin is superior to chocolate chip, why is that such an egregious crime, Kie?"

The lunch room is filled to the brim with students going to town on questionably cooked frozen foods, soggy tater tots, and sugary drinks from the vending machines despite the Obama-era posters on the walls advocating for healthier school lunches that never seemed to make their way to Kildare County High. The extent of their healthy lunches extended to a serving of overcooked canned green beans served with the worst slice of doughy pizza known to human kind, so it was sort of contradictory.

Y/N sits across the table from Pope and JJ, the latter of which being the one who launched into a full-fledged debate with Kiara about which type of cookie was better.

The clear cling wrap sits, unfolded, on the table with one of her stickers neatly placed on the back of it. As consolation for his epic loss yesterday at the beach, she paid an extra .75 cents to get him it when she arrived first to their shared lunch period—one of only two class periods they have together, the other being gym. He was still in line when she peeled a surfboard sticker off of her sheet and placed it at the center of the wrapped up cookie as if to remind him of her triumph over him in the waves.

"Thanks, hot stuff," he said, voice somewhat quieter despite the fact that hardly anyone was in the cafeteria with them. Then his smile dropped into an deadpan expression as soon as he saw her choice of sticker and looked back up at her. "You're never gonna let me live that one down, are you?"

"Never in a million years. I'll be gloating about it until I'm elderly."

"That's my girl."

The sound of the constant chatter surrounding them from at least two hundred other people drowns out the memories of yesterday that threaten to haunt her when she watches him debate with Kie. The mere recollection of their night in the back of the van has her reaching to pull the collar of her cropped tee up to assure that the hickeys remain hidden on instinct, and he catches the action out of the corner of his eye. It has him fighting a smile.

Kie quips, "Maybe on another planet, but, here, I think we can all agree chocolate chip is better, right Y/N?"

Y/N's eyes widen around a forkful of mushy "green beans" at the sound of her name being said bringing her from the depths of her memories.

Usually, she's quick to jump in and give her two cents on whatever stupid back and forth they're all having, but her mind was elsewhere. Unbeknownst to Kie and Pope, she was mentally reliving every second of getting fucked in the van last night, so her attention to detail when it comes to the Chocolate Chip vs Oatmeal Raisin case isn't all too sharp.

"Uhhh," she stops for a second, looking at the half eaten chocolate chip cookie in Kie's hand, "If I say chocolate chip is better, can I get a piece of it?"

Kie's face lights up at her words, and she's already pulling off a generous chunk of the baked good to hand off to her. The sound of a certain someone whose lap Y/N's legs are outstretched onto from beneath the table scoffing distracts her from the first bite.

"I know you prefer oatmeal raisin, you traitor," JJ says.

Their brunette friend's brows scrunch.

"Why is she a traitor?"

They try to keep from making any faces or giving anything away, but Y/N has to stifle the sound of her choking on her mouthful of cookie at the question. You'd think one of them came out and asked if they were dating or something with how she reacts, and she feels JJ squeeze her ankle in a non-verbal way of telling her to hold it together. It was her idea in the first place, yet he's a lot smoother with keeping it under the radar.

Under it all, the aspect of keeping it a secret does unnerve him to a degree. He doesn't think he'd be brave enough to communicate it, especially not when their relationship remains undefined, but the darker side of his mind wonders...

He shrugs, saying, "Cause we were friends first. Duh. Other than John B, I've known her the longest."

None of them stop to acknowledge the identical aches in their hearts at the mentioning of his name. They skip right over it like it never happened. After the funeral a few days ago, they've filled their quota on mushy-gushy sad talk for the next week and a half.

The real reason is something far more complicated than him having a claim staked on her loyalty through having the longest friendship. It's something tied up in days of slowly getting pulled into one another's worlds like the tug of gravity itself, in how he has to refrain from slipping his arm around her waist in the hallway or kissing her goodbye after a sleepover at the Chateau. But until she gives him the go-ahead, he won't let it slip to anyone.

Pope speaks up from beside him, "You literally met her twenty minutes before we did."

"Still counts. Technically, I did meet her first, so her betraying Team Oatmeal Raisin is enough to be tried for treason in Pogue Court."

"Pogue Court isn't a thing."

He crosses his arms after he pops the rest of the cookie into his mouth.

"It is now. You can be tried for treason for breaking the rules. Rule number one is that all Pogues have to admit oatmeal raisin is superior."

He's about to ball up the cling wrap to throw away later when the surfboard sticker catches his attention again. It's the same color as his board, which he'd like to think is a result of her being an evil mastermind that went out to get this sticker sheet for the sole purpose of teasing him, but he's the one who got her the sheet as a gift for her birthday, so he knows it was pure coincidence.

Last second, he peels the sticker away from the cling wrap and looks down to place it over the top of her yellow converse that were once a vibrant, paler color when Big John got them for her, but have since turned into an ugly mustard/dirt-dusted color they heckle her over.

"What are the other rules?" Y/N asks.

One of the hands holding onto where her feet are casually planted in his lap, something that they've done long enough that their friends won't see it as anything odd, slides down to caress the stretch of skin beneath the frayed hem of her dark jeans. Something she didn't know about him before whatever it is they have together started was that he constantly needs to be touching her. She can't say she doesn't love it though.

Pope answers, "The oatmeal raisin rule is not official"—a pointed glance at JJ—"But I'd assume the rest of the rules of Pogue Court would be no lying and no macking."

"So, basically you two break almost every rule except the oatmeal raisin one, and I lie," JJ says and turns to look at her, "How does it feel to be better than everyone, Y/N?"

"Pretty good, not gonna lie."

He keeps caressing little circles and tracing up and down her skin beneath the flared out pant leg of her jeans while he swipes his phone off of the table top without attracting the attention of their friends, who continue on to a new topic. She isn't too focused on what it is. She only picks up that it has something to do with a class they're in that's more advanced that hers, so she promptly checks out of the conversation.

Ever since John B died, she hasn't been performing too well in school. She tries, truly tries, but her mind outright refuses to absorb any of the information. When she reads her assigned reading, she hovers over the same paragraphs over and over until she shuts the book in a huff and hides it in her backpack again. Losing someone you love has a surprising amount of side effects.

Her phone buzzing in her hand brings her away from the impending cloud of doom that often accompanies any thoughts of John B, and when she taps in her passcode, her brother's birthday, a message bubble appears with a banner displaying JJ's contact name.

JJ (Derogatory) ur a good liar. prob could've fooled me if i weren't the one macking on u

Their eyes meet for a second across the table, then he watches her thumbs move to type a response.

Kief Princess Little do they know I break every rule now that I've switched sides on the cookie debate. Kinda impressive ngl.

JJ (Derogatory) triple threat, baby

JJ (Derogatory) thanks for the cookie btw

She smiles to herself, so wrapped up in their own world that she doesn't notice everyone in the room starting to pack up their stuff in anticipation of the bell that is due to ring any second now.

Kief Princess Had to repay you for last night somehow ;)

When she glances up to see his reaction, she watches his chest rise with a particularly large inhale, and he chews on the inside of his lip in thought.

JJ (Derogatory) strategically bringing up last night so i'm turned on in physics? ur an evil mastermind

Kief Princess I try.

Kief Princess Apparently whooping your sorry ass at surfing isn't the only thing I'm good at.

She hears him scoff.

JJ (Derogatory) first of all, ouch. second, u barely beat me

Kief Princess I'm happy to challenge you to a rematch. I have plans with Kie tonight, so I can't till this weekend. All it'll prove is that I am the rightful winner, but we knew that already.

JJ (Derogatory) what r the stakes this time

Kief Princess No sexual favors. If you beat me (fat chance) I'll formally rejoin team oatmeal raisin.

JJ (Derogatory) :( sex makes it more fun but i still accept those conditions

JJ (Derogatory) team oatmeal raisin needs u, even if ur a traitor

Kief Princess Why bet sexual favors if you're just gonna fuck me after anyway?

JJ (Derogatory) good point

The sound of the bell ringing echoes through the cafeteria, and they both pop their heads up from their phone screens to see everyone, including Pope and Kie, already packed up and raising from their seats to scurry off in the direction of their next classes. Meanwhile, their stuff is all bestrewn across the table, particularly JJ's belongings.

The sight of Kie walking away makes Y/N ask after her, "We're still on for tonight, right?

She stops with Pope's hand interwoven in hers. The look on her face when she turns would make you think she got caught doing something she wasn't meant to. Something like forgetting about the plans they made last week to watch Fear Street together. The Cherry Bowl Drive-In is premiering the first two movies as a double feature for the horror movie buffs of Kildare, so they decided to get tickets. Kiara shares a fondness of horror movies with her. Since gory movies make the boys squirm, though JJ pretends they don't, it's their own thing.

"Actually, Pope and I were gonna go to the beach. I'm sorry."

JJ knows she's more upset about it than she lets on, but Y/N simply gives the pair a smile that doesn't reach the eyes.

The sound of JJ behind her makes them laugh on their way out, diffusing the minor tension lingering in the air from the awkward encounter, "Use protection!"

After their friends offer them a goodbye, they gather their stuff quite leisurely, not really caring about being late.

It's something they've talked about before here or there: her feelings surrounding Kiara and Pope's sudden relationship. It's not as if she harbors any ill feelings for them, she doesn't, but the ripple effects of their pairing on the group, and more importantly the girls' own friendship, couldn't be clearer from her perspective. Between the missed hangouts, forgotten plans, and the convenient way she never seems to have time to hang out with her and JJ unless Pope is there too, it's been building up for a month now.

What makes it sting the most is how close her and Kie used to be. They didn't hit it off immediately the way she and JJ did as children until her thirteenth birthday when no one she invited showed up to the party Big John helped her set up in the yard of the Chateau.

She was the one who rallied the boys together to walk to ask their school friends from the year above to come hang out for an hour or two, promising a slice of the wonky-looking but delicious strawberry cake her and John B spent the morning crafting together. She can remember the sound of their high-pitched laughs and the cloud of flour that hung in the kitchen when they high-fived over the finished product like it was yesterday. In her heart, it was yesterday.

That night was when she fell in love with her friends, and that was when she first knew Kiara was her best friend. They wove friendship bracelets on each other that night and wore them for years until they withered away. No one had ever done something like that for her before. Not even JJ.

"You okay?"

Feeling his hand on her arm, slipping down to take her hand for a moment in the seclusion of the empty cafeteria, makes her glance up at him with a distinct sorrow washed over her features.

You know what? Screw this. Why should she be torn up over Kie and let it ruin her excitement for the double feature tonight? There's no way in hell she's letting her best friend ditching her for her boyfriend get in the way of her plans.

"Do you wanna go on a date tonight?" she asks him abruptly, then adds, "To the Cherry Bowl with me instead of Kie?"

The question sparks a pause in his mind, a halt of hesitation in which he worries about her avoiding having to answer what he asked, but he attempts to play it cool and not fuss over her outwardly. There have been times where being treated like that has made her feel suffocated, so he doesn't want to risk it. When she's ready, she'll talk about it, and if she takes too long and buries her feelings, then he'll intervene. For now, he tries to keep his face neutral despite the frown tempting his lips at her disappointment.

JJ looks around once more before throwing his arm around her shoulder to walk her out.

"You bet your ass I do."

What is a person supposed to act like on their first date that's not actually a date cause everything between them is the same, but kinda is a date because they called it one? If you ever find out, please find JJ and tell him because he has no clue.

Pope wasn't too much help in the Instagram group chat he made for it seeing as his and Kie's relationship is too fresh, John B isn't even alive, so he's out of service for advice unless there's Ouija Board he can borrow, and, thankfully, Kiara was his savior.

Their phones began blowing up as soon as he reached his class after lunch period ended. He couldn't under any circumstances let it be known that this mystery girl he had a date with was their friend, but thankfully Y/N already had the alibi of going to the Drive-In alone. All he had to do was make up a fake date scenario and get basic advice.

danknugstickiestickies added kiara-c and popeheyward to the groupchat

danknugstickiestickies named the group HELP ME

danknugstickiestickies i have a date with this chick i met on the beach when i was out with y/n last week. i need ur advice

His phone screen lit up with the notification that both of his friends were typing, signified with the three dot symbol bouncing in the bottom left corner as he thought it through. They couldn't possibly figure it out, right? They'd been careful, he'd been respectful of her wishes, and they'd been too busy together to notice anything new with them. He figured it would work. It was a risk, sure, but it was worth it to him. He didn't want to fuck this up with her.

Knowing her, she probably wouldn’t even treat it differently than any of their other hang outs. It's not like they haven't been romantic or sexual with each other. They've done everything but go out on an actual date, so why was he nervous?

kiara-c ummmm

popeheyward Yeah, I'm gonna need you to ELABORATE!!

kiara-c did hell freeze over? since when does jj maybank go out on dates??

danknugstickiestickies renamed the group hell froze over

kiara-c very funny, I'm laughing so hard 😐

popeheyward Do we know her?

danknugstickiestickies don't think u do. she moved here last week and hasn't enrolled in school yet. her name's steph

popeheyward What about Y/N though?

kiara-c ^^

JJ's chest muscles tightened with the question prompting a rush of anxiety that made his breathing feel slightly harder. He glanced up at his Physics teacher, who was essentially dozing off behind his desk with his hand in a bag of chips and an educational video on the projector as an excuse to not teach, and looked back down at his phone without the added stress of possibly getting his phone confiscated.

Pope's message might as well have been a sucker punch. Forget butterflies, he set a wasp’s nest loose inside of his stomach to tie it into knots and flip it every which way. His neglected textbook served as a prop for his phone to lean on as he set it down to think.

Did they know? As far as he was aware, they were getting away with it. No evidence, concrete or circumstantial, was there to prove it. At least the stress of the situation killed any chance of him being turned on by her reminder of last night in their messages. This shit was boner repellant of the highest degree.

He played stupid. Better to let them volunteer whatever information they had before he went in saying anything incriminating that they didn't already know. If anything would sour the experience of their first date, it would be him accidentally making their strange in-between relationship public behind her back.

danknugstickiestickies ?? what do u mean

Three dots bounced in the bottom left corner of his slightly cracked phone screen.

popeheyward ...

kiara-c I mean, you don't see it?

danknugstickiestickies see what

popeheyward I guess we were wrong, but all of us always thought you two had some feelings going on.

"You don't say?" JJ murmured sarcastically to himself under his breath. "Never crossed my mind, Pope."

danknugstickiestickies bro that's jb's little sister

kiara-c so?

danknugstickiestickies forbidden fruit? making john b roll over in his grave? do those ring a bell or am i speaking in tongues

He was already a proficient liar in real life, but, fuck, it was easy in text messages. There's no chance at deciphering facial expression or tone, just a plain message with no room to budge. Thank God he didn't do this in person with them. He could've survived, but it wouldn't have been as quick and painless as the group chat was.

kiara-c jeez, sorry

Pope didn't voice it, but he noticed something.

He looked up from his phone and stared off at the wall in thought in his AP European History class. It piqued his interest that JJ simply said she was off limits, forbidden fruit as he put it, but did not outright deny having feelings for her. In fact, he didn't even address the question. He made excuses for why he shouldn't have feelings for her, but he never said he didn't have feelings for her.

Kie did not notice. Not because she wasn't smart enough to either, but because she was too busy hiding her phone behind her backpack to think too deeply about it. Her teacher was one of those teachers that would flip shit if they saw a cell phone turned off and faced down on the desk, let alone being used by a student during a lesson.

In his classroom across the hallway, JJ bounced his leg up and down beneath his desk in an absentminded urge to release the built up energy the anxiety produced in an over abundance.

popeheyward Our bad then. Even John B thought y'all were sus lmao.

Since when was that a known fact? Could he tell? Did he talk to Pope about him and Y/N before he died? Either way, it wasn't the time to pry about it.

kiara-c yeah you guys honestly could've fooled me if you wanted to

danknugstickiestickies well thank u, glad ur invested in our friendship but

danknugstickiestickies please help, i have no fucking clue how to act on a date and this girl is too cool for me to screw this up

That was when they finally dropped the interrogation session and started offering up tips. The best ones came from Kie, which made sense to him since women are more likely to know what other women like than two dudes who share one collective brain cell and never had real relationships.

Rule One: Be ready to pick her up five minutes early.

He wasn't ready to pick her up five minutes early. His bike broke down by the time he made it halfway down his street, so he had to push it back up the road and into the yard before setting off on foot to reach the Chateau quickly enough. And by quickly enough, it means he got there five minutes late, not early.

Rule Two: Compliment her after you get in the car.

She tossed him the keys to the Twinkie from across the hood, not giving him the chance to open the door for her, and it wasn't until they were setting off down the road that he remembered the next piece of advice he was given.

Side-eyeing her in his peripheral vision, he tried to find something to compliment her on specifically rather than the general compliments about her being pretty that she never fully believes when he says them. He was intending to say something about the skirt she had on, but when he chanced a glance over at her, she caught him and asked—

"What is it?"

Sent into panic mode, JJ blurted out instead, "I like your shoes."

He could've bashed his face against the steering wheel twenty times right then and there at the utter absence of reaction on her part for the next few uncomfortable seconds. It wasn't that it was a bad compliment. She appreciates any compliments at all...but her shoes were hidden from his view. Not to mention, they were the dirty, mustard yellow converse that the Pogues bash on a daily basis.

She laughed, lifting her leg to expose the sneaker on her right foot, and asked, "These? Dude, you roast me for these all the time. You and John B said they look like Big Bird shit on them."

The skin on the apples of his cheeks scorched hot with embarrassment, and he was never so glad that the overhead lights in the van were burnt out until that moment. He would've died on the spot if she saw him blush like that, face flushed pinker than sunburn. All he could do to save himself was murmur something about the color growing on him and keep driving in the direction of the theater with his hands white-knuckling the steering wheel he fantasized about banging his face into.

Rule Three: Insist on picking up the check.

In this case, it meant insist on buying the popcorn and drinks, and he miraculously managed to drop his wallet somewhere along the way when he ran over to the Chateau, so when he stepped up to the makeshift concession stand with her standing at his side, he felt around for his wallet in his jeans to no avail.

His thoughts echoed back to him, You gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously? Is this actually happening right now?

"JJ, it's honestly fine," she said softly as he leaned over to search back of the Twinkie for the wallet. "We can look for it on your street right now if you want. It has your ID and stuff, you don't want a stranger to have that. We don't need to stay—"

It took all of his control to not shout it in reaction when he said, "No way. You've been waiting for this, and Kie ditched you, so I ain't ditching you too. We're staying."

His wallet could go kick rocks.

He came too far to be dragged down by the old leathery piece of shit anyway. Would he go out and search for it tirelessly the second the date ended? Hell yeah, that fucker had twenty dollars and his debit card in it, but he couldn't bear the thought of abandoning her or ruining her anticipated movie night by taking her out to search the streets with their phone flashlights for a wallet they might not find. He'd wait till the movies ended, take her home, then haul ass around the Cut searching for it after.

Thankfully, he found a couple bucks crumbled up in his front pocket while she scavenged for coins in the glove compartment, and they came up with enough to buy a water bottle and small popcorn to share together.

Rule Four: Don't have sex on the first date.

And it may sound easy enough to not act like a complete Neanderthal for the length of two movies, but the girl makes it pretty damn difficult if he's to say so himself.

That's what led him here, laying in the back of the sideways-parked Twinkie in the farthest corner of the outdoor theater with her practically on top of him. In any other instance, he wouldn't be opposed in the slightest, but with the cursed fourth rule in mind, he isn't too thrilled with the feeling of her hand rubbing up and down his thigh.

It isn't even meant to be sexual. They're constantly touching one another this way. She'll even slip her hands up under his shirt just to feel the warmth of his skin or when he asks her if she can get an itch on a part of his back he can't reach, but for some reason his brain is short circuiting right now.

The thing is, when Kie and Pope said he shouldn't do it on the first date, they meant it for his and Steph's made up circumstances, not his and Y/N's full-blown relationship without labels. When you've had sex with someone as many times as they have with each other, the hesitancy on the "first date" is nonexistent. It doesn't matter. But JJ, trying to follow the advice given to him to the letter for the sake of being the date she deserves, doesn't think about it that way.

It shouldn't be this nerve-wracking. They've been best friends since they were children, they've been flirting since they found out what basic attraction was in the first place, and they've been forming this relationship ever since John B died. Why can't he relax? Why is this so different compared to how easy it felt between them yesterday on the beach or today at lunch?

Rule Five: Be yourself.

It takes him another few moments of laying here with her before he realizes quite abruptly what went wrong in a quick flash of a thought that brings the fifth rule back to him. The problem wasn't the bike, or the weird compliment about her Big Bird sneakers, or the lost wallet.

The problem is him. The problem is that he's trying way too hard to make this something it isn't. The part about them that he adores so dearly is how they never have to try when they're together. With any other girl or guy, they'd have to fake something or act a certain way, yet when they're together, they can simply exist and everything is runs smoothly. That's not to say they don't disagree or bump heads, they do, but short of those outlier moments, it's easier than anything else they do in life.

His eyes flicker away from the screen for the first time since the movie began, which, by the way, is gruesome enough at times that he had to divert his eyes to prevent himself from seeing it happen. They land on where she lays, completely content with the night in spite of its mishaps, with her head propped up on the pillows they brought from the Chateau.

He wonders if she can tell he's acting differently. Surely she must notice. She's the type of person that typically never misses a thing, perfect for the gold hunt they went on in the summer with picking up the clues and helping her brother unravel the mystery, so maybe she noticed how flustered this date has him. Does it bother her? Does he bother her?

With a confirming glance back up at the movie to see nothing important happening, he can't fight the urge to speak anymore.

"Can I tell you something?"

His voice appearing through the darkness of the shut off van after spending the past half hour in complete silence makes her jolt at first before realizing who it was. Though she loves horror movies, she can't claim to not be affected by them. The night she falls asleep after watching one, she often finds herself compelled to turn a light on and keep her feet from dangling off the edge of the bed. It's worth the fear, though.

When she turns to look at JJ, there's a warm smile on her face. She's cuddled into his side with a hand placed casually atop his thigh, caressing with no purpose or intent, and her movement halts when the light from the movie on the projector allows her to see the expression on his face.

Anxiety has become an increasingly significant presence in his life with the recent events in mind; John B and Sarah, the four-hundred million dollars they lost out on, and dodging his father whenever he sneaks home to switch out the backpack of clothes and personal belongings he keeps at the Routledge house.

It manifests itself in jittery nerves, stomach pains, shortness of breath, and, at worst, panic attacks striking either at random or in response to a specific trigger. It's one of the few things he still tries to hide from her, and she tries not to push him too hard with opening up about it.

She abandons the movie for the time being and rolls onto her side to face him, upper body propped up on her elbow as she examines his face with downturned features.

"Of course," she says.

The words left unsaid are, "You can tell me anything. Whenever you need someone to listen, or to talk to about shit, you can tell me." He's heard her say it enough that he doesn't need to hear it now to know it's true.

There's a pause, then—

"I feel like I fucked this entire date up," he starts to ramble and cuts her off before she can think about saying what she wants to, "and I know it's okay to you. You have way too high of a tolerance for my bullshit, and I've been trying so hard to make this perfect, but all that did was screw it up."

She's left quiet for a second, taking it all in.

Maybe if he hadn't been so anxious about it, he would've realized what was wrong with his bike when he rode it home from school, or he would've noticed his wallet fall out of his pocket. The point is, he wishes he hadn't let the label attached to this freak him out so much. He isn't sure why it does, but it does.

But she doesn't do what he expects. She isn't drowning him in reassurances and, "It's okay's" because she knows he doesn't care for them much. When he, the most stubborn person she knows, apologizes for something he did, he doesn't want it to turn into the person accepting the apology coddling him.

Y/N sighs.

"Is that why you've been acting so different all night? I scared you with the whole ‘date’ thing, didn't I? It doesn't have to be a date if you don't want it to be."

What she doesn't know is that he wants it to be a date. He wants it to be a date so badly, he risked Pope and Kie finding them out for the sake of getting some proper advice on it, and now he's caught up in the same game of tug and war in his mind that always occurs when he wants to tell her the truth about his feelings for her.

Part of him doesn't understand why he doesn't outright say it. With every other girl he once showed interest in, he had no issues in letting them know he wanted them, but this is different. This isn't simply wanting someone, he thinks he's fallen for her. But whenever he says he's gonna grow a pair and tell her after all this time, he chokes. Involuntarily, he's reminded of his parents. Other than his friends saying it platonically, the only people to tell him they loved him were them, and with how they treated him, he sure as hell doesn't think that is love.

From his dad's brutal physical abuse to his mom's abandonment, he's too timid to tell her he loves her because of what could happen if she loves him back. Everyone else that has said that to him has either hurt him, died like John B did, or abandoned him.

He won't let that happen with him and Y/N. What they have, albeit undefined and codependent, is safe. It's the only thing he has left. Maybe it isn't right, and maybe he should open up about it to communicate the correct way, but somewhere in the misshapen logic of his mind, he correlates love to abandonment. And he doesn't want that to happen with her.

There are two sides of him at battle inside his mind. One side, the side that wants to do right by their relationship and actually communicate his feelings for once in his life, wants him to tell her everything. The other side, the side that responds based on the history of his past, wants him to hide it all.

"Will you be mad at me if we don't call it a date?" he asks.

She shakes her head.

The heavy sensation inside of JJ's chest nears a point of vitriolic violence against him as he starts to realize what he's doing to her, clearly letting her down, but he can't stop himself. Like a passive witness watching himself from outside of his body, the instantaneous trauma response to the sudden confrontation of his true feelings for her guides his actions without his permission. It shuts down any protest he has.

The sound of the movie fills the gap of silence between them the entire time. It’s a variety of bloodcurdling screams and disgusting sounds that would've made him gag if he weren't as distracted.

They can make out each other's faces through the darkness, but barely. It takes a flash of bright color from the film or a nearby car's lights turning on for them to fully see one another. Without the other knowing, they both put masks of calm and collected coolness on their faces despite the feelings raging beneath the surface—more so on his part than hers.

"Maybe," he says, pausing, "we should just keep things the way they've been."

As soon as the words leave his mouth, a soul-crushing amount of disappointment weighs her down. She said it was fine if he doesn't want it to be a date—and it is, she would never hold it against him—but that doesn't mean it can't hurt her. Things have been going so well, she almost thought...If tonight went well, she was thinking about no longer keeping it a secret, but if he said he wants things to stay the same, then maybe he isn't as ready for it as she is?

Meanwhile, JJ is on another page entirely.

She's embarrassed of being with you, a familiar voice in the back of his head croons. She's gonna leave just like everyone else does. If she doesn't even wanna tell your friends, why should you pretend you're dating?

The internal comments are the type that cause him to physically grimace when he's alone. Intrusive thoughts are just that: intrusive.

Sneaking into the guarded sanctuary of a person's mind, they set out to convince them the opposite of their reality. The only thing is, where most people's minds are guarded sanctuaries with walls of impregnable defense, his mind is the equivalent of a fortress blown to smithereens. The castle walls lay in rubble, the guards no where to be seen, and the path for these thoughts to slip past and straight to the vulnerability of his mind is left wide open.

In the privacy of his room, these thoughts attack him the most at night when he tries to fall asleep—when things get too quiet. With nobody around, when they get this bad there's nothing he can do except break down. It builds from the mere anxiety of attempting to force the thoughts away to full-blown panic attack mode. The more he resists them, the more aggressive they become. He'll gasp for air with tears streaming down his face, hitting his head with the heel of his hand as if that'd do something to stop his relentless mind.

But he can't afford to react in front of her, so the extent of his reaction is a subtle twitch of his face that she cannot see in the momentary darkness before the movie switches to another scene a second later. In a way, it does make the thoughts go away to have her here preventing him from spiraling alone. Having to focus on her keeps his mind away for moments at a time until the thoughts ease their grip on him.

When she hasn't answered for a while, he asks, terrified that he did something bad, "Are we good?"

The question seems to wake her up, snapping her out of the lonely direction her thoughts went into when he "rejected" her. It takes every bit of common sense she has left to force herself to understand that this doesn't mean he doesn't want her. He does, and not calling this a date doesn't mean they won't be together in the way they have been since John B's death, but she isn't perfect. She gets as unsure and insecure as he does.

As if the cloud of doom was lifted off of her, she makes her face lighten where she lays on her side next to him. Seeing this expression makes his chest feel less heavy, and he could let out a sigh of relief at the realization that he didn't break her heart and stomp on it. He should've known. Y/N is the sweetest person he knows, so she never would've flipped shit over him not wanting to label this as a date. That's not how she is.

And he's partly right. It isn't how she is. She would never hold it against him if he didn't want something further with her since she got herself into this position by pursuing him with his reputation with girls in mind, but she can't ignore it. Whether she wants it to or not, it had its affect on her as soon as he said it.

She leans in to kiss him, their lips meeting in the middle with the faint taste of popcorn salt mingling at the soft peck.

When she pulls away, she brushes the hair back from his face and says, "Don't worry. Nothing can change how I feel about you."

She has no clue what it feels like to hear that from her.

Despite the turmoil they unknowingly share beneath the surface due to this conversation, he could cry hearing her say it. It doesn't feel real to him that she feels the same way he does about her, because nothing could change how he feels about her either. That’s why he manages to work up the courage to repeat it back to her, and, for now, this is the closest he's physically capable of coming to telling her the truth.

"Ditto," he says.

It isn't what she wanted, but it's close enough, and if she dwells on this any longer, she might start getting too emotional and let the urge to tear up become too strong. Why does she have to be this sensitive? It's no secret that it's remarkably easy to make her cry, but this is insane to her. When all of this began with him, she didn't give a shit about him not wanting a label. She understood him, and she understood that he doesn't do this kind of thing, so why has it changed? Why doesn't she want to keep it a secret anymore? Why does she want this to be a date when she knows he doesn't want it to be?

Pulled by an invisible string back to him to silence her mind, she leans in to kiss him again with a hand cupping the back of his neck to guide him the rest of the way to her.

It shouldn't be laced with any sexual intention. She should be kissing him simply because she wants to, and, in a way, she is. Their kisses and touches are never lacking the motivation that is their underlying connection and mutual feelings for one another, but this is not the same. As he kisses her back with as much confidence and passion as always, she is reeling from the conversation that reminded her too much of a breakup.

It takes another minute of this for the kiss to heat up, their breathing becoming shallower in the moments they part to inhale, and she is undeniably the one instigating when she officially crosses the line between casual and sexual by crawling onto his lap. It's not hard for him to pick up on when their innocent moments take a turn. She's easy to read in that regard, and this has happened a multitude of times with them, so the shift of a mini make out session turning into something more is nothing out of the ordinary for them.

If he knew how shaken she is on the inside, he'd never want this. And the same would go for her if she knew what he was thinking before this. Neither of them wants to admit what they're feeling.

With her legs seated on either side of his hips, she kisses him like it's the last time she'll ever get the opportunity to. Her hands wander wherever they can, pulling at his shirt and feeling him up as his hands guide her hips to move against his in a steady grinding that she has no issue partaking in. It's an eagerness he hasn't seen from her in weeks. She's never un-excited when it comes to being physical with him either, but this is another level. The last time a girl was all over him like this, it was desperate touron at a party a few months ago.

In the span of time it takes her to glance over her shoulder to see if anyone could see them and reach to pull her skirt up until it bunches around her hips—no one can see them, by the way, since they got here late and were forced to cram the van into the back corner of the lot with no street lights illuminating the path—his brows raise at her presumptuous behavior. Not that he's one to complain, however, seeing as he's typically the one doing what she is.

Their next kiss clashes their teeth hard enough to make them wince, but he loves it. It makes him smirk into her parted mouth, alive with both the feeling her reassurance provided and the fuzzy-headed high that often finds him when they're together in this way. Incomparable to past flings or the high related to any drugs, she is the peak of everything to him. It's no contest.

His chest stutters against hers with a bout of amused laughter, asking within a brief pause in what feels like the most JJ thing he's said this awkward night, "Two for two in the Twinkie. What's gotten into you?"

Y/N's hand dips between where their bodies move together to unclasp the closed buckle of his belt in one smooth motion that has it falling apart with a clinking noise.

Her features are set with a look that tells him she means business. Whatever it is that sparked this, he wonders how the fuck to make it happen again another time. She's begged for it before, but never taken control so dominantly, and he can't deny what the role reversal does to him. The evidence is obvious in the distinct hardness she feels pressing up against the hand undoing his jeans.

"I was hoping it'd be you," she says, voice breathless and airy from the constant contact in a way that makes it ten times hotter for him.

If there were any chance of him not being in the mood prior to this, which wasn't the case anyway, it's gone now. He never wants to hear her say she doesn't deliberately try to tease him ever again.

He doesn't need to be told twice.

JJ surges forward to capture her mouth with his, this time with no intention of pulling away to breathe or speak again. No, he'll let himself get lightheaded and dizzy if it means he can stay with her for as long as possible.

With the circumstances of it all, them being visible to someone if they happened to pass by the open door of the van, they move at a pace quicker than usual. She's immediately helping him shimmy his jeans and underwear far enough down his hips to free his dick from the confines of his clothes, making him sigh out a breath of relief when her hand brushes against him in the process.

There's no opportunity to slow down, it has exploded into a full-throttle speed race that neither of them can halt.

His hand blindly flies out beside him to grope the floor of the van for the set of keys he tossed carelessly to the side once the movie started, eyes shut in the midst of the hot, messy kiss they share. His fingers find the fabric of one of the blankets they brought in case they got cold, then drifts again and lands on her Big Bird sneakers until he feels the sharp metal of her keys meet his calloused palm.

After the events of last summer, she bought a switch blade to keep on her key ring alongside the keys to the van, HMS Pogue, and Chateau. She may not like violence or weapons, seeing as she was a skeptic of JJ keeping the gun alongside her friends, but she saw it necessary. Between Rafe, Topper, and Kelce, how could she leave the safety of her and her friends up to chance knowing what some of the kooks did to them not long ago? What happened to Pope on the golf course alone was enough to make her skin crawl.

Right now, though, the knife flips out from the pressure of his thumb pushing the button to release it. He holds it out away from her at first to assure it doesn't nick her in the process, then uses his other hand to tug the side of her panties that hugs her hip far out enough to press the sharp side of the blade onto the inside of it.

She can hardly believe what she's watching as JJ cuts the delicate maroon underthings from her body as if he were doing something so normal, like it's something he's done before. Her forehead is pressed against his, her mouth parted both in shock and in a need to pant for oxygen, and she watches the knife ruin her favorite panties. The stitches come apart with a satisfying ripping noise that can hardly be heard over the sound of people reacting to the movie in the background.

Other customers of the Cherry Bowl Drive-In are too glued to the screen as a beloved character is chased down, reacting in shouts when she's seized by the killer and shoved onto the table of an industrial bread slicer, so they remain wholly unnoticed.

The lace, now ripped in half, dangles on the tip of the knife when he lifts it away from her, tosses it aside, and presses the button once more to retract the blade. It clatters to the floor, but is in no way forgotten with them resuming in a desperation to keep going until they both satisfy the need clawing at them from the inside. But her sense of need is different from his, and even with the fresh memory of him with the switch blade in mind, she's still somewhere else the whole time.

Her mind is faraway, muted through layers of sadness, anger, and disappointment as he reaches between them to line himself up to her entrance. The sensation of him running his cock, hard and messy with a few drops of precome, through her dripping pussy to coat it in her slick arousal is enough to make her moan pathetically. Yet when he's about to guide himself inside of her, she stops him.

"Wait, wait, wait," she breathes out rapidly, heart pounding so hard she can feel herself pulsating between her thighs, "Condom."

They were so antsy to get to it, they almost forgot.

"Fuck," he curses under his breath, and his eyes flicker from where they were trained between their bodies to glance back and forth around the van before it hits him. "I lost my wallet..."

But right when he thinks their public rendezvous in the back of the Drive-In is over due to his unfortunate mistake, she shakes her head and slips away from her perch astride his lap to crawl over to her bag.

She fumbles with the old tote bag and plunges her arm in to sift through the hodge podge of things that are purely Y/N in nature—stickers, glitter pens, a half-eaten bag of candy, etc—for the square foil package she decided to toss in before she left just in case. She usually doesn't keep them on her because he never fails to have one, but, thankfully, she had the random instinct to bring it tonight.

The only thing to bring her out of her cloudy, malevolent storm of feelings when she settles back onto his lap with the condom wrapper ripped open for him is him saying, "So you planned this, huh?" with his mouth tipped in a familiar self-satisfied grin.

She didn't plan it. In fact, she threw herself at him the second she sensed him withdrawing from her and can't stop herself despite the fact that she constantly feels two seconds away from letting a tear slip down her cheek. If that counts as "planning it", then sure.

"Maybe so," she answers, cool, calm, and collected—the antithesis of the truth.

They usually don't lie to each other.

They're thrown right back into it without any other hiccups once he rolls the condom on, and he takes in a shaky breath at her hand wrapping around him to align their bodies up. Before she can do anything, though, he takes chance to swipe the blanket he found a moment ago and wrap it around her back to keep her covered in case they get caught.

Y/N sinks down onto his cock with her lip caught between her teeth to stifle the sound that threatens to escape. JJ, on the other hand, doesn't bother concealing the sound of the groan he makes at the sensation of having her wrapped around him like this. The tension in her entire body from the anticipation and the looming threat of being seen by someone has her squeezing him so tightly, he can't help but be a little louder than he should.

Her soft palm slaps over his mouth with enough pressure to force his groan to quiet itself, and she watches his pretty blue eyes widen in reaction to the dominant action. Who is this girl and what has she done with his sweet, submissive Y/N? Don't get him wrong, he is very turned on by it, but it's unlike her to take the lead this way. He can't figure it out.

"What's wrong, angel?" she asks in a whisper into his ear, her hand over his mouth and her hips starting to slowly rock against him, "Watch the movie."

Once the words leave her mouth, she drops her hand, just in case he wants to stop and can't say anything because she had his mouth covered, and JJ is pretty sure he's died and gone to heaven.

He doesn't watch the movie, not at all, because he's too busy watching her. For someone losing their mind internally, she does not let it show, nor does she let it distract her from what's happening. If anything, the distraction in this situation is the sex, not what's going on inside of her head.

There's a moment of adjustment and going as slowly and gently as possible while waiting for the dull pressure of feeling him inside of her to fade away, but, for the most part, she doesn't waste any time. As soon as she feels comfortable enough with the ache between her thighs giving way to a spark of pleasure when she grinds her clit down on his pubic bone, she starts to ride him at a better pace than the initial slow movements of her hips.

She raises herself up and takes him again inch by inch, enjoying the sense of fullness she gets from having to fit him in spite of the slight discomfort at first, and she could swear that he'll leave bruises in the shape of his handprints with how tightly he clutches her hips. It's all he can do to prevent himself from moaning or saying something, ever the vocal lover she's come to know.

Unless his mouth is preoccupied like it was on the beach yesterday afternoon, JJ is usually impossible to shut up, especially in this context. With him always whispering dirty things to her, whether it be praises, pet names, or plans on what he wants to do to her, she has come to find it breathtakingly hot. He could likely get away with saying something if he wanted to, but he isn't sure he wants to risk it. If he opens his mouth to spew something filthy to her, he won't trust himself not to make a louder, different kind of noise that won't fit in the with background audio the other moviegoers are listening to.

The wet sound of their bodies colliding that fills the space of the van is drowned out by the loud and violent sequence occurring on the screen far ahead of them, and hearing it makes her bounce herself on him a little harder. She's fueled on by it all, and, strangely, what happened before she practically pounced on him is the main contributor.

Similarly to the nature of his intrusive thoughts, the harder she resists the memory of how it felt when he told her he didn't want this to be a date, the more forceful it is in its return. Her eyes trail down to watch where they connect with her forehead pressed to his, then she's thrown back into the feeling of helpless disappointment and insecurity. His head tips back against the window with his bottom lip dropped open and his brows furrowed just enough to create a crease on his forehead, and she's bombarded with the look of relief on his face when he realized he didn't have to be tied down to her with a label.

It makes her want to get rougher, harder, and she doesn't even care if it'll make her sore later on. She presses herself down so far every time she slides down on his cock, her teeth draw blood on her lip with how hard she must bite it to remain quiet. The pain of her hipbones rubbing against his doesn't even matter to either of them at this point. They're both too lost in the pleasure that has begun to take control of them to care about something as minuscule as that, or the burn in her thighs from the repetitive physical strain.

She grabs his wrist and brings his hand between them, flattening hers overtop of it and pressing down on the base of her abdomen in the midst of the increasingly feverish thrusts.

"Feel you here," she murmurs to him through a quiet moan, hoping he can hear it over the movie, and pushes down on his hand for emphasis. And if the way he reacts by cursing under his breath tells her anything, it's that he picked up on it. "JJ..."

He reaches out to grab her by the throat with his free hand and tug her forward to kiss him, as if something inside of him snapped in response to her doing that. The motions of her jolting up and down throws the already messy and uncoordinated kiss off-kilter, but they don't mind. It has them separating every time she lifts up, producing this heady little head rush from from them breathing in each other's air without actually letting their mouths meet in the middle.

Though they're trying their hardest not to alert anyone outside of what's happening, it didn't occur to him until now, when his eyes catch John B's old bandana swinging back and forth where it's secured around the rear view mirror.

They're worried about moaning while the entire fucking Twinkie is rocking with their movements. Well, at least it makes good use of the corny sticker he gifted John B last year as a gag gift. He tried to peel it off after JJ snuck it onto the side window to no avail. So, now Y/N is stuck with a sticker on her car reading, "If the van's a-rockin', come on in, we like orgies," rather than the more common phrase.

It almost makes him start laughing, and he prays no one takes that shit seriously, 'cause he is never intent on sharing this breathtaking girl. Ever.

Y/N isn't anywhere near laughing like he is, in fact, she's finding it difficult to keep herself together. She feels her eyes sting with the promise of tears, and she's never felt so pathetic before. Is she seriously about to cry during sex? Is she really that girl that is so ill-equipped to handle rejection, she can't get through it without tears?

She won't cry. Perhaps if he sees how glossy her eyes have become in a rare moment of good lighting, she can blame it on the hand around her throat putting pressure on the sides of her neck.

The worst part about her being near to crying is the timing of it.

The emotion of what she feels mentally mixes with the swirling, building sensation she feels in the pit of her stomach that tells her she's close to going over the edge, and it's so overwhelming. Was she imagining that their friendship had changed? More importantly, is this all she'll ever be to him? Sex is the only thing she's sure of with him, it's the only thing that doesn't require deeper emotions, and when the ground beneath their fragile relationship felt shaky...

He can feel her starting to unravel, and he knows that he'll come before she does if he doesn't do anything now, so he decides to take control.

JJ pulls the hand he had resting on her abdomen away as though he were burned by it, wrapping his arm around her waist to steady her body against his and using the hand around her neck for leverage to thrust up into her, effectively reducing her to a teary-eyed, moaning mess atop him. They both stopped caring about making noise the second he began to fuck her like this.

She cries out in ecstasy at the sudden change in pace and depth that has him hitting all the right places. Every time he thrusts up into her, just as rough as she wished for, the tip of his cock nudges into that perfect spot inside of her that makes her incapable of silencing her moans. This time, it's JJ that puts his hand over her mouth, letting the one he had around her neck move away to keep her from alerting everyone around them of what's happening.

There's nothing she can do to stop her climax as it barrels through her in its initial sweeping wave of bliss to contrast the venomous doubts in her mind. She's never felt such conflicting, yet powerful feelings before—the intensity of the physical pleasure that makes her whine into the palm of his hand, then the part of her mind replaying every word he said in their conversation before this.

Her body is rigid and tense through it all, squeezing down around his cock with the involuntary spasms of her orgasm, and he can't help himself anymore. All it takes are a few more frantic thrusts for him to bury himself inside of her one last time and spill into the condom, uncovering her mouth so he can drown out his own groans into a kiss.

Their skin sticks to their clothes on the inside with sweat from the exertion of their actions, and he can feel her stomach tremble where it presses up against his with each undulation of her hips that meet his as he rides it out.

But even with the added distraction of the sex, she can't rid herself of the feeling that started plaguing her as soon as things went awry. That was why he was acting weird all night. He must have been so worried about her thinking this was anything more than their typical hangouts that he couldn't bring himself to act normally.

She forces herself to look happy when they pull away from the kiss, panting, and JJ, unaware of what she's been thinking, doesn't notice the small deception.

Tag list: @gabiatthedisco

[beautifulterriblequeen]

B2:S - Chapter 5

Much of this series will be about the differences and additions in the novel version, and how they contribute to my understanding of story canon. But there will be character appreciation, the odd theory and headcanon, and suchlike as well.

Here be lots of Viren deets, Best Boy Soren deets, some writing/continuity stuff, worldbuilding appreciation and half of a theory, Detective Rayla, Moon Temple geeking, Claudium and dark magic, and more!

Spoilers for Book Two: Sky below.

(I know for darn sure that I wrote up a post for chapter 4, but I can't find it anywhere so I guess Tumblr ate it and I'll have to redo it at some point, but today is not that day)

Viren, my evil dude, my bad guy, coming in clutch with the worldbuilding and backstory again! If you want to know decades of information, you gotta talk to Viren. Or read his scenes, at least. Here, he seems to not sleep much when he has a big problem to analyze his way through. Solutions trump pretty much everything else in this guy's life, and he's had a really hard week with a lot of new and complicated problems. Of course he's getting sleep-deprived trying to find his way through them all.

Harrow put so much trust in Viren when he made him High Mage! He just threw himself extra hard at that Lady Justice blindfold, didn't he? Didn't really want to see what Viren was doing in his magic study, so he left Viren to his devices. And Viren has a lot of devices.

Also, this is fascinating: Viren made the secret passage to his "less official study" in Katolis Castle! And he was inspired to do so by the way his own mentor kept the Puzzle House. What else could a Puzzle House be, except a place with secret passages? Yay! secret headcanon that "the Puzzle House" is just "Katolis Castle" from Kid Viren's perspective tho

So either Viren built all of those passageways, or at least the ones to his dungeon. Which means he has to have, or know where to get, a stash of those glowing blue Moonshadow crystals. Hmmm.

I can't wait to learn more about Kpp'Ar and young Viren, btw. From this description of Viren and all his literal secret ways, it feels like another parallel between Viren and Runaan, with the whole "secretive paths, members only, insider knowledge" type stuff. Only the really cool members of this cult club get to know the secrets, and guess what, kid, you're cool now but you can never tell anyone, okay? Our secret.

Yeahhh, that'll never backfire in any way for either of them.

Kpp'Ar calling puzzles and secrets "man-made magic," though. Yes sir, knowledge is indeed power.

This chapter mentions Runaan by name, from Viren's perspective. Generally that would imply that Viren knows his name, even though assassins do not share their names, and Runaan didn't seem to give his to Viren in the first book. However, there was a scene in book one where the last paragraph switched perspective from Viren to Runaan - a technique that's very common in visual media like movies and shows and gives you that "ohoho they left the room and didn't notice this, but you do!" vibe. Using Runaan's name there in book one, where Viren couldn't see it but readers could, helps them keep track of the assassin's story arc while maintaining Viren's racism.

So in book two, in which Runaan has no onscreen scenes (alas), using his name in a scene that calls back to the events in book one helps us remember what happened in that dungeon cell. It would be a bit muddier to recall the specifics if Viren kept thinking about Runaan as "Elf." So I'm cool with the perspective nudge because it serves a narrative purpose: clarity. But I'm also enjoying the angst of considering that, somehow, Viren learned Runaan's name either during or after the coining spell. Mwa ha ha haaa. (Obligatory "Keep my pretty name outta your mouth" goes here)

Okay, back to Viren's scheming! He took the mirror because it was human-sized in a dragon lair. He knew it didn't really fit there, and that made it interesting, so he stole it. But he realized it was really powerful when Runaan wouldn't tell him squat about it - the assassin's instinct to protect Xadian secrets from human hands meant that Viren was holding a very powerful Xadian secret. And that just made him want it all the more. Ah, Runaan, if only your relationship with lying was, like, the exact opposite of what it is. Nyx could've spun Viren a believable tale in 2 minutes flat.

Also of interest: Viren considers his cursed coins to be a final fate. He expects Runaan to remain in his coin forever. With the Chekhov's coins still extant in the storyline, we can assume that they'll come up again eventually, but Viren has no current plans to do anything with his elf money except carry it around.

It's worth noting that Viren admits that he got impatient when he trapped Runaan in the coin. Runaan's first fate in Katolis was supposed to be death at Soren's hands, but Claudia "saved" him from that. His next fate was to become spell components, but Viren's frustration with his stubbornness "saved" him from that fate, too. So now he's in a coin, where no one can chop him up at all. Yay? No, boo!

We get one last line about Runaan before Viren shifts gears: he makes a point of noting for us that Runaan's shackles are still locked shut. However much of Runaan made it into that coin - body, soul, hair care products - he was magicked there, pulled right out of his restraints.

The creepy black liquid that Viren pours right into his eyes is the last of a powerful potion he got from Kpp'Ar, and its recipe is ancient! Humans used it back in the age of Elarion to see through the illusions of the world. And we get a delightfully creepy bit of description about the preparation of this serum, which makes it abundantly clear that it's a Moon magic-based concoction, harvested from eyeless vipers on a moonless night, with the threat of irrevocable madness ("madness" by whose definition, though) if it's done wrong-

Hang on. Hold up. This is a Plato's Cave reference. OH MY GOD.

No no I'm fine, this is brilliant. Sorry, sorry, I couldn't figure why there was so much description for a potion prep that Viren didn't even have to perform himself. But now I get it. I see the light. HA. I should make a separate post for this, it's amazing.

Anyway, for reference, the humans who used this serum were called the Oracles of Ophidia, and Ophidia is a taxonomy group that includes all modern snakes. Can you say "creepy ancient snake rites"? I can! Woo!

Viren activates the serum with a spell, but apparently he's never done it before. He's not sure if it's supposed to be hot and bubbly, and he worries that it's been tainted by moonlight.

Oh, I do hope so.

The magic potion hurts, a lot. Viren will do just about anything, to himself or anyone, to do what he believes is necessary. He just risked madness and blindness to find out what this mirror does! Viren. Can you just. Take a nap or something. Have a Snickers.

This chapter gives us a fun clue that I don't remember from the show: when Viren's vision clears and he can see, his reflection has white pupils and the room reflected in the mirror has inverted colors. You know where else has inverted colors?

You know who else got white pupils for a hot second?

Okay, now it makes sense! Viren and Lujanne were both seeing into the realm beyond life and death. Him with his moon magic potion, and her with her moon powers on a full moon night at the Moon Nexus. Which is Very Interesting! Is it a direct hint about Aaravos's location, or just a separate cool detail? Orrr, does it look like a direct hint because Aaravos is actually trapped in the world beyond life and death, but it's actually separate and we'll see something about white pupils again later on?

Viren really does have self-esteem issues, we all picked up on it with his rant at his reflection. He throws a fit when he catches himself wondering if he's actually worthless. In the book version of his tantrum, he shoves the mirror and hurls a candelabra instead of flipping a table. He didn't need to shove the mirror to set the fire, but it's in here. Foreshadowing that perhaps, if push comes to shove, Viren will choose himself over Aaravos? Giving Aaravos time to peek through and see that the coast is clear?

Soren, my boyyyyy. He has a rough night at the Moon Nexus because two sides of him are fighting with each other. He struggles to understand Callum's friendship with Rayla, and he also fantasizes about chopping off Rayla's head. One of these is a pretty ordinary thing to do. The other is Soren's internalization of what he needs to do to gain his father's approval. If he brought his dad a chopped off elf head every week, he'd probably feel a lot more confident because Viren would praise him a lot more.

Okay, okay, omg, is it just me, or does the "Moonshadow Madness" story, as it's told in the book, seem like Soren just doesn't know what a monsterfucker is? He thinks an elf bite puts humans under a spell. But vampires are sexy, and some people want them to do more to them than just bite them. A passionate kiss under the moonlight could look very bitey, especially if one of the participants has horns and you're already culturally trained to hate them. No yeah, I'm already headcanoning an actual human-elf kiss that got misunderstood by an observer long ago.

it's Lujanne isn't it, we all know, because what is a love spell but a sweet soft illusion, I mean how else does she get supplies for her Caldera, I ask you, and also Corvus was totally sent to investigate once and he told Soren at camp what he saw

And then back to magefam angst: Soren pretending that his sister's nose-tapping is stupid, even though he actually thinks it's cool, just because their dad thinks it's stupid. Viren, istg. Let your kids like harmless things. It's so cute that Soren taps his nose back at her, though! Like they have their own sibling code. I hope we get to see the nose tap again, especially now that they've chosen different sides. It could mean so much, that they're not too far apart yet.

Rayla knows what buttery pancakes smell like. I love this. Do Moonshadow elves have butter and pancakes, does Rayla eat a stack of eight giant pancakes in the morning? Orrrr it is just illusion food? I don't care, let Rayla have pancakes! Everyone loves pancakes. Pancakes will save the world. this message brought to you by the fact that I can't eat pancakes rn, send help

I love that Rayla is both sus of the pancakes and hungry, and that combines into a very motivated "I will get to the bottom of this" attitude. She kind of goes into Poirot Mode when she inserts herself into Soren and Ellis's conversation about Ava, explaining about the wolf's illusion leg and segueing into her claim that the pancakes taste sus. Claudia confirms she used dark magic, and Rayla is furious. It's different than the show's version in that it puts Rayla in detective mode, as the only Moonshadow elf in the scene, and boy does she take that role seriously. Also, she doesn't actually swallow the dark magic pancake bite. It ends up on the ground just like Lujanne's grubs from that earlier meal. These poor kids are so nutrient-starved. You guys gotta eat!!

Rayla's determination and prejudices and the fact that she super knows Harrow is dead all dovetail to make her try repeatedly to persuade Callum that Soren and Claudia are Not To Be Trusted. It's nice that the book keeps taking the time to point out that Rayla is Well Intentioned But Flawed, just like Callum and pretty much every other character in the show. No one is Right All The Time, no one Knows More Than Everyone Else.

Callum loving the sound of Claudia's unique voice is so wholesome. When you like someone, it only makes sense that you like all the things about them that they can't change - like the sound of Claudia's voice. Her choices with dark magic, not so much!

Claudia seems to have the same concerns Soren does about Callum's relationship with Rayla, but she comes out and asks him. The inherent possession implied in "your elf" is interesting, though. Elves are not people to Claudia. They're enemies who can be disassembled for the magic inside them. So maybe more like robots than living beings, if she knew what a robot was. Maybe she heard Soren's "Moonshadow Madness" story and realized he totally missed the kissing implications - but she didn't, and now she's genuinely worried that Rayla could kiss Callum under a full moon and enchant him to do her will. Good thing it's only a half moon, then!

Okay, Callum nervously making a puppet hand and then not knowing what to do with his hands and freaking out about itching and moving and pointy elbows is such a ND mood. The sudden stress of knowing that someone else is noticing your existence and maybe you're Not Existing Right, amirite? Ugh, poor Callum.

The Moon Temple! Omg it's so pretty in the description! Made to be beautiful and useful, full of knowledge but also allowing light and life inside (butterflies and vines). Lujanne, when can I move in, please? Also, it's all the more angsty because Lujanne is the only one who gets to see this beautiful place, but it has lots of chairs and shelves and tables, and it was meant to be used by lots of people. :(((

Claudia knows some of the runes on the walls. She isn't in a hurry to copy the rest of them down or anything, either. Her spellwriting is very precise, and she's a skilled mage. Her father would have made sure she was aware of the dangers of drawing sloppy runes, as much as he made her aware of the dangers of doing dark magic wrong. And the whole point of dark magic is that it's easier to learn than primal magic. Claudia supports her dad and their shared knowledge and life path. She's not gonna go nuts over an elf library she can't translate.

Side note: Between Claudia knowing some Moon runes and Viren building a secret passageway and a dungeon and lighting it with the same blue crystals that Lujanne and Ethari use for light--and Claudia exclaiming that she loves ruins--I wonder once more if there are really Moonshadow ruins somewhere in Katolis, which Viren has found and looted. Father-daughter relic hunting trip, maybe while Soren is away at camp? Omgsh that would be so wild!

Callum out here having a Viren moment with his "I feel powerless unless I've got magic that lets me help" vibes. God. I love their complicated mirroring. One of the hard differences between them is that Callum is very sure dark magic is bad because you have to kill stuff and take its power to cast spells, and he doesn't want to be a person who kills and takes like that. The line he walks to be nice to Claudia on their tour of the Cursed Caldera because he likes her, while telling her that he doesn't want to do her magic, like, ever, is so fine that it might as well be a shifting shadow on the ground. It's a very fitting conversation to be having during the half moon, with its tricks and little white lies.

Callum being out of the castle and his comfort zone, having to deal with the fact that the Claudia he loves is not quite the Claudia who's chasing him down across the kingdom, but of the two of them, he's the only one with a problem with this.

They say that if you really want to get to know someone, you should spend time with them outside their comfort zone - in heavy traffic, with a small baby, taking care of a new pet, trying a new skill, following unfamiliar directions, etc. While the castle is familiar territory for them both, Callum's never really found his comfort zone yet, while Claudia is pretty comfortable with her growing skill set. The creepy part starts to kick in when Callum begins to realize that Claudia's comfort zone encompasses a whole bunch of stuff that seems like it should make her uncomfortable... but it doesn't. But that'll be for a future chapter!