#I made the latter a few days ago and only finished it today

[rununcal]

Ehehaha. Hehe.

[callsign-mayhem]

heartbreak feels so good (part 1)

Pairing: Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x Reader Word count: 8081 CW: Shitty boyfriends, angst, fluff, slow burn.

Your boyfriend's callsign is Viper, which is fitting. Bradley doesn't know how much longer he can watch this man destroy you, but luckily for him, he doesn't have to wait too long.

Use of Y/N, but no description of reader. THIS IS A MULTI-PART FIC.

Part Two Part Three

After another day of having your feelings totally ignored by your boyfriend, you were looking forward to some alone time. Elijah was so hot and cold that you felt as though you were in a constant state of fight or flight, just waiting for him to either make your day or ruin it completely. Most of the time, it was the latter, and although good days with him were few and far between, they were enough to make you stay. See, you didn’t half-ass anything—least of all relationships—so when you were in something, you were in it. You told Elijah that much after your first date. You’d been sitting in the front of his beemer eating ice cream, having the first of many deep talks. Between sweet, sticky kisses, you’d told him that you were dating to marry. He told you he was, too. 

He said, ‘I’m yours if you’ll have me, Y/N.’ And that was that.

And it was almost a year ago. You’d survived a somewhat tumultuous winter with him, desperately trying to cling on to the version of him he’d been during the summer. As time went on, he stopped putting his mask on, secure enough in your relationship that he no longer felt the need to pretend to be caring and considerate. The days were starting to get longer, and the weather was warming up again, but Elijah was so far from the man he was at the start that you might as well have been in a relationship with a different person. Every morning, you woke up with no idea what personality to expect that day, whether or not he was going to take all his personal drama out on you, even though you only ever loved and supported him. 

Today had been one of those days, and as you finished up with the F-18 engine currently in pieces in front of you, you silently prayed that he wouldn’t text you asking to come over. He was also a naval aviator, but you were working on different parts of the base today. Thank God. Elijah’s callsign was Viper, fitting since vipers prey on small animals by envenomating them and watching them die slowly. 

Coyote appeared behind you, helmet tucked underneath his arm.

‘Hey, we’re all heading to The Hard Deck for beers,’ he told you. ‘You comin’?’ You grabbed a rag and made an attempt to wipe some of the oil off. ‘I don’t know,’ you sighed. ‘I want to, but then I’ll have to bring Elijah, and I don’t really wanna see him tonight.’ ‘Why do you have to bring him?’ Coyote frowned. ‘He’s a lousy drunk and never lets you have any fun.’ ‘If he finds out I went out with all you guys, he’ll think I’m up to something.’ ‘Like gettin’ with me?’ He joked, wiggling his eyebrows. ‘Probably,’ you laughed. ‘You or one of the others. Or maybe he’ll accuse me of getting with all of you if he’s in a particularly bad mood.’ ‘Listen, if you wanna come, you’re welcome. We’ll just make sure nobody posts about it, and we’ll get you a fake moustache or somethin’.’

It broke your heart to think about all your closest friends having a fun night without you. Over the past year, you’d lost count of the amount of experiences you’d missed out on because you didn’t want to make Elijah upset or angry with you. The worst part was it was a double standard. He went out without you all the time, didn’t tell you where he’d gone or who he was with, and expected you to be okay with it. If you weren’t, you could kiss your peace goodbye; he’d spend the next week making your life a living hell, ignoring you entirely until you apologised to him for being hurt by his actions.

‘You know what Javy? Count me in.’ He grinned. ‘Thatta girl.’ 

It was hard to regret coming out when you felt this good. It had been months since you’d gone on a night out without Elijah, which was to say it had been months since you last enjoyed yourself. As you sipped your second sex on the beach, you mused that some kind of higher power must have been looking out for you because you’d yet to receive a single text from your boyfriend. Most of the time, when you spent the night apart, he’d call you incessantly. It was annoying, sometimes bordering on obsessive, and you didn’t need him to tell you he was checking on you, or rather, checking that you were alone in your apartment. That much was obvious. 

Dating an insecure man was not for the weak.

You were sat at one of the high tables next to the window watching Jake, Mickey, Javy, and Reuben play pool. Nat was opposite nursing a beer, glowing in the golden light of the evening. Her phone buzzed, and she picked it up, smiling at the notification. 

‘Rooster’s on his way,’ she told you. ‘He wasn’t gonna come out tonight, but I told him he didn’t have a choice. It’s not every day Y/N Y/L/N leaves the comfort of her apartment.’ You scoffed. ‘That’s not exactly how I’d put it.’ ‘No?’ Nat raised a brow. 

You hadn’t drunk in months, and despite only being on your second drink, the booze had loosened your lips significantly. 

‘No. It’s not that I’d rather stay home, it’s that staying home makes my life easier because then I don’t have Elijah breathing down my fucking neck.’

Little did you know, Javy had told everyone about your conversation earlier. Not because he was a gossip but because he was worried about you. It was rare for you to open up to the squad about your relationship, but it wasn’t hard to guess what happened behind closed doors. They all worked with Viper, for one, and they were familiar with his temperament. Not only that, but you dropped off the face of the Earth a few months after you started dating him, and it didn’t take a genius to put two and two together. 

‘I don’t know why you’re still with him, Y/N. He’s an ass.’ ‘I know,’ you sighed, frowning into your drink. ‘It’s just not as straightforward as just leaving. I still love him. If I can make this work, I don’t have to start all over again with someone else.’ Nat nodded in understanding. ‘I get wanting to make it work, but at what cost? You don’t see your friends, and he uses you as an emotional punching bag. You can’t even come to the beach with us without him checking on you every five minutes,’ she reached over the table and took your hand. ‘He’s killing you.’

This was the first time someone had spoken their mind to you about the situation. While you already knew all of it, hearing it from one of your best friends hit home. Vodka made you emotional, and if not for Bradley, you would have broken down there and then. 

He walked up to the table and engulfed you in a hug, practically pulling you off your stool. You pressed your face into his shirt, inhaling the scent of clean cotton and sandalwood. Half expecting Elijah to spring out and catch you in the act, you reluctantly pulled away. 

‘Hey, Bradley.’ ‘Hey yourself, stranger. Can’t believe you’re gracing us with your presence.’ ‘I know, it’s been a while.’ ‘A while? Try six months,’ he glanced at your almost empty glass and Nat’s empty bottle of Heineken. ‘Can I buy you lovely ladies a drink?’ ‘Do you even have to ask?’ Nat retorted.  ‘What’re you drinking, darlin’?’ He asked you. You smiled sheepishly. ‘Sex on the beach.’  ‘I can make that happen.’ He smirked.

Luckily, you didn’t have to come up with a response to that remark because he turned around and headed to the bar. You locked eyes with Nat, and both of you burst out laughing.

Just like that, all the negativity you’d been feeling dissipated like rain against hot tarmac. 

Bradley came back with the drinks, and the three of you took the opportunity to catch up while the others finished their pool game. You shouldn’t have been as surprised as you were to find out that you’d missed a lot. Bradley had started dating one of the medics, but the relationship had crashed and burned almost immediately. He hadn’t bothered trying to meet anyone else since. Nat, after watching all her friends have such bad experiences in the dating world, had decided she was better off alone. 

‘Honestly, I don’t blame you.’ You told her. ‘You should dump Viper,’ she said with a devilish grin. ‘And we can have a hot girl summer.’ Bradley laughed. ‘Can’t say I ever imagined you saying that, Nix.’  ‘Isn’t that what it’s called now? We can’t be that out of touch, surely.’ ‘I don’t wanna think about how old I am.’ You said, picking up your phone to see if you’d missed any texts from Elijah. You hated to think what kind of argument missing one of his calls would start.  Nat and Rooster shared a knowing look. ‘It rings, you know? Out loud.’

Being this transparent was embarrassing. 

‘I think I’m going to confiscate this for now.’ Ignoring your protests, Bradley swiped your phone and tucked it into his pocket. ‘If he calls or texts, I’ll let you know.’

You were tipsy enough not to try and take your phone back but not tipsy enough to be unbothered by the idea of Elijah calling and you not picking up.

‘If he calls, I need it back straight away,’ you told him sternly. ‘If I don’t pick up, I’ll never hear the end of it.’

Bradley rolled his eyes, but you knew it wasn’t aimed at you. He hated Elijah the most of all your friends. Perhaps sensing some tension, Nat slid off her stool and grabbed your arm, practically yanking you off yours.

‘Let’s go pick a song,’ she suggested. ‘We can get more drinks on the way back.’

Since it had been so long since you last visited The Hard Deck, she let you choose. You picked Rebel Yell by Billy Idol, your mum’s favourite. Admittedly, you’d been missing your home town a lot more than usual lately, perhaps because you were in such a weird place mentally. Things must be worse than you thought if you were considering running home with your tail between your legs. 

As the night went on, you got drunker and drunker. Bradley watched with a bemused grin as you dragged Bob off to the jukebox again, since he was the easiest person to coerce into doing things. How Bradley wished it was him you were clinging to. Not that he was jealous of Bob—because that would be like being jealous of a puppy—he just desperately wanted to be the object of your affection. 

While you and Bob went to change the music, Bradley struck up a conversation with Natasha and Reuben, who erupted into laughter when you pulled Bob’s arm so hard he almost toppled over. 

‘It’s nice to have Y/N out, huh?’ He observed. Nat looked at him like he was the biggest dickhead in the world. ‘Come on, Bradshaw. He might be an ass, but she’s got a boyfriend.’

Bradley sipped his beer, desperately trying to come up with a believable response. Reuben smirked knowingly, which only made Bradley more annoyed.

‘I don’t have a thing for Y/N.’ ‘Whatever helps you sleep at night, man.’ ‘Come on, Payback. You too?’ Reuben shrugged. ‘Doesn’t take a genius to work it out. You look at her like she’s God’s gift.’

The reason Bradley looked at you like you were God’s gift is because you were, but nobody was supposed to know that. 

‘Why do women stay with guys that treat them like shit?’ Bradley asked. ‘Depends on the woman,’ Natasha started. ‘But if you mean Y/N, it’s because she can’t do anything halfway. She told me earlier that it’s because she doesn’t want to start over with someone new, but I don’t think that’s it. She just loves so hard, and it takes a lot out of her. Why would she wanna start the process all over again if she already has someone?’ Bradley was incredulous. ‘Erm, I don’t know, maybe because he’s emotionally abusing her.’

You and Nat were close. In a way, she knew you better than you knew yourself, so she was the best person for Bradley to ask about things. Now, however, he was kind of regretting opening his mouth. Knowing why you were staying with a guy who treated you so badly didn’t make it easier to accept like Bradley thought it would; it only filled him with white-hot rage. 

‘It’s not as easy as just leaving. She has to come to it on her own.’ ‘Yeah,’ Reuben chimed in. ‘You can’t convince Y/N of shit.’ Natasha scoffed. ‘Yup, and believe me, I’ve tried.’  ‘So what, we just sit around and watch him ruin her?’ ‘Y/N’s a smart cookie and one of the strongest people I know. She’ll come to her senses, and when she does, we’ll be here.’ ‘You know, I read somewhere once that you can’t save anyone. You can only hold their hand while they save themselves.’ Nat raised a brow. ‘Damn, Payback. That might be the wisest thing you’ve ever said.’ ‘Hey, why do you sound so surprised?’ ‘You really want me to answer that?’

Bradley had a lot to think about. Realistically, he knew there was nothing he could do. His only option was to let things unfold naturally and have faith that things would work out exactly the way they were supposed to. The only problem was, that sounded too much like ‘sit back and do nothing,’ which didn’t feel right either. 

Bradley needed another drink. 

In fact, he was just about to head to the bar when you came bounding over, dragging poor Bob behind you. 

‘Roooooooooster.’ You cooed.

His heart just about melted when you started batting your eyelashes at him. 

‘What’s up, Y/CS?’

Everyone else was watching the interaction expectantly, waiting to hear what you were going to say next. 

‘You’re really pretty.’ Bradley laughed, hoping you were too drunk to notice the blush he could feel creeping across his cheeks. ‘Thank you. You’re really pretty, too.’ Nat, sensing the need to intervene, came around and gently grabbed your arm. ‘Hey, let’s get you a glass of water, huh?’ ‘But I need to tell Roo how pretty he looks.’

Bradley’s heart fluttered at your use of the pet name. He really didn’t want you to leave, but Nat was right. You needed some water and probably your bed. 

‘You told him already, Y/N. And when you get back, you can tell him again.’

She started leading you away, and Bradley immediately missed your presence. 

A very flushed-looking Bob took Nat’s empty stool. ‘That girl is somethin’ else.’ He murmured, pushing his glasses back up his nose. ‘I don’t think you should let her drink anymore.’ ‘I’m not her keeper,’ Bradley responded. ‘Can’t stop her from doing anything.’ Bob shrugged. ‘Maybe so, but you’re all she talked about. You and the fact that there’s no Fall Out Boy in the jukebox. Pretty sure she called it a ‘fucking tragedy.’’  Bradley leaned forward. ‘What did she say about me?’ ‘You know,’ Bob waved a hand dismissively. ‘You’re pretty. Her boyfriend is gonna kill her if he finds out she’s here with you because he thinks you have a thing for her.’ Bradley was at a loss for words. Reuben, however, was grinning like a fool. ‘What was that about not having a thing for her? Even her boyfriend’s caught on, man.’  ‘How many times do I have to say I do not have a thing for-’

An annoyingly loud ringing sound interrupted Bradley’s sentence. It didn’t sound like his ringtone, but the noise was coming from his pocket. It took him too long to remember that he had your phone in his pocket, and that it was probably Viper calling. Sure enough, when he took out your phone, he was greeted by a sickeningly sweet photo of you and your boyfriend on the beach. You and Nat were still at the bar, and he knew he should just let it ring so you could call him back later. 

But something had a hold of Bradley, and he answered the call and pressed the phone to his ear before he could really process what he was doing. 

‘Y/N’s phone.’ 

A beat of silence, then some of the most colourful language Bradley had ever heard in his life. 

‘Who the fuck is this, and why the fuck have you got my girlfriend’s phone?’  ‘Y/N can’t come to the phone right now. She’s at the bar with her friend, gettin’ another round of drinks, and I just know hearing your voice would ruin her night. It’s ruined mine, that’s for sure. If you want, I can take a message, and she’ll get back to you in the morning.’

Reuben was nearly on the floor, trying desperately not to laugh in case Viper heard him. Bob had paled significantly, like he’d seen a ghost—or worse. 

‘That you, Bradshaw? I just knew something was going on-’

Bradley hung up. The severity of the situation was beginning to hit, and despite the sick satisfaction he’d felt when he picked up the phone, he was regretting his decision already. 

‘Y/N is gonna kill you, Rooster.’ Bob told him. 

Nat made the sensible decision to cut you off, but she said you could stay out with them until closing if you promised to keep drinking water and stop fucking around with the jukebox. That was how you ended up in the corner of a booth with Bradley next to you to stop you from escaping.

Not that you’d want to escape. 

Mickey had joined, and the guys were playing cards while you and Nat talked. She was catching you up on her life, and it made a change to think about someone other than Elijah for once.

That’s when it hit you.

You hadn’t checked your phone in hours, and you dreaded to think how many texts and calls you’d missed. 

‘Bradley, can I have my phone?’

He set his hand of cards down on the table and reached into his pocket. When you reached out to take it, he pulled away.

‘Before I give this to you, I need to tell you something.’

A wave of nausea hit you. 

‘What? What’s going on?’ ‘Viper called about an hour ago. You were at the bar, and I didn’t know what to do, so I answered it.’ Reuben leaned forward in his seat. ‘Oh, this is about to be good.’

You thought you knew what panic felt like, but up until this very moment, you had no idea. Bradley was lucky you didn’t throw up in his lap from the nerves.

‘What?’ ‘I’m sorry, Y/N. I wasn’t thinking-’

You snatched your phone from him, ignoring the kicked-puppy expression he was sporting. A slew of angry text messages that were borderline abusive greeted you. You skimmed them quickly, not wanting to read too many in case you started crying in front of the entire squad. 

What started out as the best night you’d had in a while quickly turned into the worst. Your boyfriend's hateful messages reminded you why you never went out and why this was the biggest mistake you could have made.

The worst part was you saw it coming.

‘Move,’ you said, grabbing your bag. ‘Bradley, let me out now.’ ‘You can’t drive like this, Y/N. Let one of us take you home.’

Bradley sounded destroyed. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. 

‘Move.’

He nudged Bob, who stood up so Bradley could climb out of the booth. You were close behind him, and when your feet touched the floor, you nearly keeled over. Bradley reached out to steady you, but you shook him off.

‘Y/N. You can’t leave like this. How are you gonna get home?’

Ignoring his pleas, you made a beeline for the exit. Nat shoved Reuben into Mickey, trying to hurry them out of the booth so she could follow you, but you were surprisingly fast for a drunk person. Bradley was right about one thing: there was no way you could drive in this state. You ducked around the corner so Nat couldn’t see you and sank to the floor. Hot tears prickled behind your eyes as you did the one thing you didn’t want to do, but the only thing you could do.

You called Elijah. 

He didn’t answer the first, second, third, or fourth time. 

Half an hour passed, and you didn’t move. At one point, you heard Bradley, Nat, and Reuben talking around the corner, coming up with a plan for where to look for you. They knew you were on foot because your car was still in the lot, and since you’d disappeared so quickly, you couldn’t have gotten far. If the situation weren’t so tragic, it would’ve been funny that you were hiding ten paces away, and none of them could find you. 

It was getting very late. People were getting in their cars and leaving or jumping into Ubers. Soon, your Jeep would be the only car left. You couldn’t face the daggers, and you couldn’t drive home, so you picked yourself up and took a slow walk down the beach to where the water met the sand. 

What a beautiful night to have your heart broken. 

There was no way Elijah would ever forgive you for this, no way you’d ever be able to convince him that nothing had happened between you and Bradley. The sane part of you knew that it was crazy to feel guilty for simply enjoying a night out with your friends, but the sane part of you rarely won these days. The part of you that loved Elijah was always loudest and knew this could never have gone any other way. 

You were just about to resign yourself to calling a cab when you heard someone yelling your name from the top of the beach. 

You either had the best or worst luck in the world because it was Bradley. 

He made short work of the distance, giving you no time to come up with something to say. He looked otherworldly in the pale moonlight. His hair was slightly mused, and the same insane part of you that loved what it loved was whispering at you to run your fingers through it. 

‘We’ve been looking all over for you, Y/N.’ He sounded very concerned as he pulled out his phone and texted the others to let them know you were safe. ‘I’m sorry, I just needed to be alone.’

You hadn’t even realised you were shivering until Bradley draped his Levi jacket over your shoulders. 

‘You needed to be alone, or you needed to call Viper back?’ The tears threatened to make another appearance. ‘It’s none of your business.’ ‘What makes you think it’s not my business? I care about you and don’t want to keep watching you get hurt.’ ‘Then stop watching!’

Bradley recoiled, and you immediately felt awful. How Elijah spoke to you like that day in and day out without feeling guilty was a mystery to you. 

‘I’m sorry, Bradley,’ you sighed, pulling his jacket tighter around you. ‘I didn’t mean to snap. I’m just very drunk and very emotional right now.’

He softened immediately and seemed torn about whether he should let you stand there freezing or pull you close. You hoped he wouldn’t try to pull you close because you didn’t think you’d have the guts to tell him no. Good feelings had been so incredibly hard to come by as of late.

‘Why are you still with him, Y/N?’ Bradley asked almost pleadingly. 

Wow. He didn’t waste any time getting right to the point. 

‘That’s a loaded question.’ ‘I need you to explain it to me because it’s killing me.’

You thought about it for a moment, and Bradley waited with bated breath to hear what you had to say.

In the end, it was this: ‘I guess we accept the love we think we deserve.’ 

Until you said it out loud, this phrase held little meaning to you. Now that it was out in the open, it was very heavy. In the last few months you’d tried coming up with a decent explanation as to why you were staying with Elijah, and you fell short every time. Turns out all you needed to do was get drunk and have an honest conversation to figure it out. 

Coming to the realisation that what you’d just said was true felt like being in freefall. Everything in your life was changing shape to fit around this ugly truth. The good things in your heart shied away in the face of this monstrous fact. 

You didn’t think you deserved a healthy love. 

Somehow, Bradley was more hurt by this than when you’d snapped at him earlier. He was staring at the ground, unable to meet your eye like you’d just told him he wasn’t worthy of love.

‘You don’t think you deserve to be happy?’

Hearing him say it was somehow even worse.

‘Apparently not.’

You were both quiet for a moment, and then, for whatever reason, you laughed. 

‘This is news to me too.’

The waves crashed loudly, water lapping at your feet as the tide came in. You couldn’t stand out here having epiphanies all night. 

‘Listen, Rooster, I need to go home. I’m sorry for snapping.’ ‘I’ll take you home,’ he said quietly. ‘But we should talk tomorrow when you’re sober. Maybe we could get coffee.’ You shook your head. ‘After tonight, I don’t think that’s a smart idea. I’ll probably be spending tomorrow trying to salvage what’s left of my relationship.’ ‘You’re not serious.’ ‘I am.’

He opened his mouth to protest but then appeared to change his mind. You watched as all the fight he had left in him dissolved. There was nothing left for him to say, and he knew it. 

The irritating birds that constantly chirped right outside your bedroom window woke you up. It was too damn early, and your head felt as though it was splitting open. When you sat up, you were hit by a wave of nausea so strong that you had no other choice but to sprint to the bathroom, smashing into the corner of your chest of drawers on the way. 

Which was to say, it was a bad morning. 

After you had puked up the entire contents of your stomach, you jumped straight in the shower, brushed your teeth, and did your skincare. At least if Elijah showed up at your front door, you wouldn’t look like you got super drunk last night, even though he’d probably already guessed. 

When you checked your phone, there were still no notifications from him, and when you called, there was no answer. This wasn’t unlike him, but it had been almost twelve hours since Bradley picked up your phone, and you would have thought he’d have something to say by now. 

To distract yourself from your impending doom, you threw open all the windows in your apartment, made your bed, unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher—all the usual morning tasks. It seemed a shame to waste such a beautiful Saturday, but you doubted you’d enjoy any of your hobbies when you were this anxious and hungover. 

With nothing else left to do, you set about making some breakfast. 

Just as you put your bagel in the toaster, somebody knocked on the door. 

Your stomach twisted itself into an impossibly tight knot. You were rooted to the spot, unable to move until whoever it was knocked a second time. 

You looked through the peephole, expecting to see Elijah standing there with his dark eyebrows knitted together in frustration. It was the only scenario that had crossed your mind, so when you saw Bradley standing there, you were very surprised. 

You took a deep breath and opened the door, greeted by the warm scent of sandalwood once again. 

‘Bradley?’

He was holding two iced lattes, which you were betting were vanilla—your favourite. Elijah hadn’t done that for you since the first week of your relationship.

‘Hey, Y/N. Thought you could use this.’

He wasn’t wrong. You ushered him inside, and he headed to the kitchen, where he 

perched himself on one of the stools at your kitchen island. This morning, he was sporting one of his more toned-down Hawaiian shirts and dark jeans. His eyelids drooped, and you wondered if he’d slept at all. 

‘I was just about to make bagels. Want one?’ ‘Sure, thank you.’

You busied yourself, putting bacon and eggs into a pan while he sipped his coffee. He eyed you with the curiosity of someone who had come over to check that you were all in one piece. Once he was satisfied that you were, he relaxed slightly. 

‘Thank you for bringing me home last night. I really appreciate it.’ You told him earnestly.  ‘You don’t need to thank me. You’d have done the same thing.’ ‘True, but still. And I’m sorry for snapping at you.’ 

Last night was gradually coming back to you in flashes, like a supercut. Each time you remembered a new detail, you cringed internally. 

‘You also don’t need to apologise. Has he called you?’ 

While the eggs and bacon were cooking, you toasted another bagel for Bradley and buttered yours. Even though you’d known him for years and been quite close until you got into a relationship, you were struggling to admit that you were pretty much being ghosted. It was already hard to walk around on base knowing that everybody was aware of how Elijah treated you. When you didn’t respond, Bradley took that as a no. 

‘Well, that’s his problem,’ he spat. ‘You did absolutely nothing wrong. Maybe if he were less of a control freak, you would have felt like you could tell him you were out with us rather than hiding it, and then he wouldn’t have found out the way he did.’

The toaster popped, and you jumped. It felt like somebody had run a cheese grater over your nerves. Bradley ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath, clearly trying to reign in his anger.

‘I should apologise too,’ he continued. ‘I shouldn’t have answered your phone. It was a dick move, and I regretted it the instant I did it.’ 

You buttered the second bagel, put one egg on each of the bottom halves, and stacked two pieces of bacon on top before adding the top part. You didn’t say a word the entire time, and Bradley was starting to get antsy. 

‘Y/N. Please talk to me.’ ‘I don’t know what to say, Roo. I’m struggling even to think straight right now. He knows it drives me fucking crazy when he’s having a go at me and doesn’t respond. I don’t understand why he does it, knowing how it makes me feel.’ Bradley sighed. ‘Because he doesn’t give a shit how you feel. He doesn’t give a shit about anything other than himself and how he feels.’ 

This wasn’t news to you, but again, it was more impactful to hear someone else say it out loud. Really, how long could you keep this up? Whether you thought you deserved it or not, you were starting to wonder if you might be better off alone than with someone who made living feel like walking next to a cliff with your eyes closed. 

You pushed Bradley’s plate across the counter and picked up your bagel. Eating felt impossible, but getting through the day with this headache would be excruciating if you didn’t at least try. 

‘Come and sit down,’ Bradley said. ‘It’s not good to eat standing up.’ Despite everything, you managed to laugh. And this time, it was a real laugh. ‘Why?’ A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. ‘I don’t know. My mum used to say it all the time.’

You did as you were told, and you walked around the island, taking the seat next to him. The two of you ate in companionable silence, periodically taking sips of your coffees. This was how easy it should have been with Elijah. 

When you were both finished, Bradley put your plates, pan, and utensils into the dishwasher. You were too tired to tell him to stop. 

‘Thanks for breakfast.’  You smiled. ‘Thanks for being you.’

Bradley’s smile mirrored your own. Unsaid words hung in the air, but you didn’t know what to say. His leaving didn’t feel right, but if he stayed and Elijah made an appearance, he’d most definitely break up with you. 

But wasn’t this radio silence all the confirmation you needed that things were pretty much over, anyway? You were starting to wonder if this weekend had all happened exactly the way it was supposed to. Your eyes were indeed open, that was for sure. Of course, you’d known that the relationship wasn’t healthy, but this weekend had really driven the point home. 

‘Do you wanna go for a walk along the beach?’ You asked, hopefully. ‘We could grab some ice cream at that little place next to the arcade.’

Bradley didn’t just look happy. He also looked relieved that you weren’t asking him to leave. 

‘I’d love to.’

It was a beautiful Spring day, perfect walking weather. Honestly, it was the last thing Bradley expected you to suggest, so he jumped on the idea before you could change your mind and send him home.

Because he really didn’t want to go home. 

He’d sensed that you didn’t want to talk about Viper, and you’d yet to bring up your conversation on the beach last night. Bradley was beginning to doubt that you even remembered everything you said—all that nonsense about not deserving a healthy love. Bradley didn’t take you as a liar, which meant you believed that you weren’t deserving of happiness. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt quite so sad and also angry at the same time. So many emotions were warring for the top spot in his heart, and as a result, his brain was incredibly foggy.

A walk along the beach with you was perhaps the only cure.

‘Did you hear about Hangman?’ Bradley assumed you hadn’t. ‘No?’ ‘He’s getting deployed. He’s leaving next month.’ ‘How long is he going for?’ ‘Six months.’ You whistled lowly. ‘Damn.’ ‘I know. I think he’s looking forward to it, though. I sure am.’ ‘You know, I don’t think you hate him half as much as you say.’ Bradley chuckled. ‘Maybe not, but being nice to him wouldn’t feel right. Even after everything that happened on the mission.’ 

The two of you walked down the beach, chit-chatting about anything that came to mind. You were about halfway to the ice cream place when your phone pinged. Bradley guessed it would be Viper, but he never could have guessed what the message said. 

It was a photo of you and Bradley walking down the beach, taken from behind. The picture had been forwarded to you from someone else. 

E<3: always knew you were a slut.

You inhaled sharply, obviously hurt by the words on the screen. Not two seconds later, he sent another text. 

E<3: PS: we’re fucking over.

The two of you had stopped walking. Bradley watched over your shoulder as you furiously typed a reply and deleted it again. You turned to face him, and his heart just about broke when he saw the tears streaming down your cheeks. You didn’t need to say a word. He pulled you close to him, wrapping you tightly in his arms. You stayed that way for a while, sobbing into his Hawaiian shirt as he rubbed your back soothingly. When you eventually pulled away, the first thing you did was apologise. 

‘There’s nothing for you to be sorry for, sweet girl. He’s the one who should be sorry.’ You sniffled. ‘I don’t know what to reply.’ ‘Leave it for now,’ he said. ‘We can go get ice cream, take a slow walk back to yours. Then I’ll help you think of something.’ ‘I don’t know if I feel like ice cream anymore.’ ‘Well, that’s too bad because I do. Ice cream is the best remedy for heartbreak.’ ‘Did your mum tell you that too?’ ‘She sure did.’ 

It turns out Bradley was right about ice cream being the best remedy for heartbreak. The two of you sat on the wall, watching the waves while he munched on a mint chocolate chip cone and you butterscotch. It was hard to tell whether it was the best ice cream you’d ever had or if it was because you were with Bradley. If you remembered correctly, you’d had ice cream from this same place with Elijah before, and it hadn’t been this nice.

Thinking back on your memories with him only made you want to cry, so you did your best to shove them to the back of your mind. Despite the fact that he was actually a very shitty person, he’d been a dream at the beginning, and that didn’t just go away. The happy moments didn’t just suddenly turn to ash, as much as you wished they would. 

‘What are your plans for the rest of the night?’ Bradley asked around his ice cream cone. ‘I don’t know, Roo. I’m kinda working on a minute-to-minute basis right now.’ Bradley nodded. ‘Okay, well, what would you say to junk food run and a movie night?’ ‘With you?  ‘If you want to. I just don’t think it’s good for you to be alone.’ ‘I don’t want you to feel like you have to babysit me.’ ‘Is that what you think this is?’ ‘No, but I don’t want to be a burden. Or a charity case.’ ‘Y/N, you’re none of those things. I always want to spend time with you. Just so happens I have a good excuse today.’ You frowned into your ice cream. ‘Okay. As long as you’re sure.’ 

The two of you finished your ice cream and took a slow walk back to your apartment. When you got in, the first thing you noticed was a framed photograph of you and your now ex-boyfriend on the side table in the hallway. When your bottom lip started trembling, Bradley picked up the photo, put it face down, and then proceeded to run around your apartment and take down any others. It didn’t feel like the same place you’d left a few hours ago. It was haunted by memories that would never look right in the light of day. Even the happiest ones from the start were tainted with the ugliness of his cruel words and actions. 

‘This place is so depressing.’ You grumbled.

Bradley stood in front of you with a stack of photos and one of Elijah’s t-shirts. 

‘It’s not. It’s your home, Y/N. We just have to pack away his stuff and put it all in a box.’ ‘An ex-boyfriend box.’ Bradley smiled sadly. ‘Yeah, exactly. It might be over, and he might be a dick, but it was still a big part of your life, and it’s important to keep the memories safe in case you wanna look back on them someday.’ ‘Or in case I wanna burn them.’ ‘That too.’ Bradley chuckled

So you helped him gather all the mementoes from your relationship and put them in an old Dr Martens box. It all looked pretty pathetic, packed away in a shoebox.

‘I found one of his hoodies and a few other things.’ You called from your bedroom. ‘Can you grab me a bin bag from the top of the fridge?’

You heard shuffling, and then Bradley was standing in the doorway holding out the bag you requested. 

‘Damn, he doesn’t even get one of the nice Trader Joe's bags?’ ‘No,’ you giggled. ‘He gets a trash bag because his stuff is trash, and he’s trash.’

You weren’t really at the stage where you believed that just yet, but saying it was really satisfying, and it felt good to laugh. Fake it till you make it or whatever. 

‘Want me to give it to him tomorrow?’ ‘Thanks, but I should really be the one to do it. I haven’t even texted him back.’ You thought about it for a moment and then continued. ‘Would it be cheeky of me to ask if you’ll come with me? Maybe Nat, too? I could use some moral support, and he’s less likely to make a scene if the two of you are there.’ ‘Of course I’ll be there. I won’t say anything unless you need me to or unless he starts. I can’t make that same promise for Nix, though.’ ‘I haven’t even told Nat yet,’ you sighed. ‘I don’t think I wanna talk about it right this second.’ ‘I’ll text her. Don’t worry about it.’

From your spot on the floor, you looked up at Bradley. The evening sunlight was streaming in through the windows, casting an ethereal glow around him. 

‘You should change your callsign to angel.’ A look of pleasant surprise flickered across his handsome features. ‘Why?’ ‘Because you’re literally my angel, Roo. I don’t know what I’d have done without you.’

Half an hour later, Bradley convinced you to go on a junk food run with him in the Bronco. He said tonight was a mandatory, post-breakup wallowing sesh because if you bottled up your feelings now, you’d explode later at a much more inconvenient time. 

The two of you had been screaming along to all the classic breakup songs: All Too Well by Taylor Swift (yes, he knew all the words), Who Knew by Pink, What About Now by Daughtry… He’d driven the long way to the store because you got so into it. 

Now, as you scanned the shelves in Target, you asked: ‘What is it about screaming sad songs that makes you feel better?’ ‘It’s cathartic,’ Bradley explained. ‘Helps you relieve the strong feelings.’ ‘You know a lot about heartbreak.’ ‘Well, I’ve had my fair share of sadness.’ You froze. ‘That was insensitive of me, I’m sorry.’ Bradley took the packed of Reeses Pieces from your hands so he could hold them. ‘Can you make me a promise?’ ‘What?’ You asked sceptically. ‘Promise you’re gonna stop apologising to me all the time. You have nothing to be sorry for.’ ‘Sorry.’ You smiled sheepishly.  He shook his head. ‘That’s not what you’re supposed to say.’ ‘Okay, fine,’ you huffed. ‘I promise to stop apologising all the time.’ ‘Thank you,’ Bradley said, releasing your hands reluctantly. ‘Now, pick out five more things.’ ‘Five? There’s already five things in the basket.’ ‘Did I ask?’ ‘I’m gonna get fat.’ ‘Don’t be so ridiculous. Wallowing means junk food, and I don’t know if you’re looking at the same basket I am, but that’s not enough junk food.’ ‘Christ Almighty, okay.’ 

He helped you pick out five more things, and then you headed to check out.

‘What movies are good for wallowing?’ You asked. ‘Well, we have to start with a couple of sad ones and then finish with a happy one.’

The cashier told you your total, and Bradley tapped his card before you could even get yours out. You gave him a withering look.

‘I would’ve paid for that. You paid for the ice cream.’ ‘So?’ ‘So we should take it in turns.’

Obviously, he carried the bags as well, and as you walked back to the Bronco, he couldn’t help but wonder if Viper made you take it in turns. If you were his girl, you’d never have to tap your card.

‘What’s your favourite sad movie?’ He inquired.  You opened the trunk for him so he could put the bags in. ‘Technically, it’s not a sad movie. But there’s this part in Inside Out…Wait, have you watched it before? I don’t wanna spoil it for you.’ ‘The part where Bing Bong gets forgotten?’ You gasped. ‘How did you know?’ ‘Because it gets me every single time.’

The way you looked at him in that moment, like he had hung the moon in the sky—God, it was too much. 

‘We’ll start with Inside Out,’ he told you, opening the passenger door so you could climb in. ‘And then we’ll think of something else.’

Without giving much thought to what he was doing, Bradley found himself buckling your seatbelt for you. You were holding your breath, and it dawned on him how easy it would be to kiss you if he were that sort of guy.

And as much as he wanted to kiss you, he was not that sort of guy. He wasn’t about to take advantage of the fact that some asshole had just taken a sledgehammer to your very beautiful heart. 

‘Can we watch Bridge To Terabithia?’ You whispered.

Bradley hadn’t moved, and you were so close that he could feel your warm breath on his cheek. 

‘Are you trying to break my heart, Y/N?’ ‘Yes. I want you to feel my pain.’ 

He was grinning the whole way around the car to the driver’s side and still grinning when he got in the car. You already had his phone in your hand, searching for more sad songs so you could continue your car concert on the way back to your apartment. He drove the long way again so the two of you could finish your rendition of ‘I Don’t Love You’ by My Chemical Romance, which Bradley didn’t know the words to. He tried his best, though, because you seemed to love it, and he couldn’t deny you anything. 

By the time you got home, the sun had almost entirely set. While he set the snacks out on the coffee table, you went around lighting candles and switching on fairy lights. He’d never seen your apartment in the dark, and it was incredibly cosy. Even though it was relatively warm, you dragged all your blankets and pillows from your bed and made a little nest on the sofa. You were so adorable, it was hard to believe that someone could treat you badly. 

If you were his girl, every night would look like this—except you’d be a lot happier, and there would be no tears. 

Halfway through Bridge To Terebitha, you fell asleep. Bradley had been trying to keep his distance despite wanting to wrap you up in his arms, yet somehow—in your sleep—you’d ended up with your legs in his lap. He’d frozen at first, but once he realised you were dead to the world, he allowed himself to rest his hands on your knees. Really, it was that or sit with his arms crossed, and that would be silly. 

For the duration of the movie, his attention flickered between you and the TV. Every time he tried paying attention to what was happening, his eyes wandered back to your peaceful face. He marvelled at your astounding beauty, the delicate way your eyelashes rested against the tops of your rosy cheeks. Bradley had always admired you, and you’d been good friends for years, but what he felt in that moment was something else entirely. By the time the end credits started rolling, he knew without a doubt that he’d set whole cities ablaze to keep you warm. Feelings as rapidly growing as his should have been terrifying, but Bradley wasn’t scared. Falling in love with you seemed to be as easy as wading out into a calm ocean on a warm summer’s day. 

He knew you’d yet to learn that falling in love and staying in love should always be this easy. He knew it was going to take some time to convince you that you deserved healthy love, that the right person would never run away from you and keep turning around to make sure you were chasing them. 

But Bradley was a patient man, and he would wait as long as he had to.

End of part one.

[onlyhereforthestories]

Bumpy History - Part 1 (Aitana x Reader)

I have just finished a placement for UNI and the first thing I wanted to do was relax and write and so I did. Here is something that I started ages ago and finally finished. Two more parts of this to come!

Being a dual citizen wasn’t easy in the profession you were in, being born in the US to a Spanish mother and an American father also made life a little complicated. You had grown up moving back and forth between the two countries and so you never really felt like one was home over the other. The problem was you were being called up to the under-18s of both national team squads right now due to your performances for your college team.

Deciding that you felt more comfortable in Spanish culture and knowing that you had no plans to go to university in the US after you finished college you decided Spain was the country you were going to commit yourself to. This is where you met Aitana.

She was one of the best players playing for the team when you joined and for some reason you both just couldn’t get on, you were convinced she hated you. It was like she saw you and decided that you were someone who wasn’t worth the time of day. This meant that you didn’t fit in, everyone else looked up to the girl and you were seen as an issue.

This didn’t stop you from playing and playing well. You scored a goal on your debut and got a couple of assists on your first start for the team, one of those assists was for an Aitana goal. It was the first time you both went within arm’s length of each other. It was brief and you could see the realisation dawn on her face when she registered who she was hugging.

After that first time, you went back to the States and continued with your studies. You only ever thought of the woman when camps were coming up and even then it was a fleeting thought, you wanted to make sure you kept her out of your mind. She obviously didn’t think about you.

Two years later you had been signed by Barcelona straight out of college, you got the call the day you graduated to confirm your place for the next season and you moved back over to Spain the following week. What you didn’t know was that Aitana had also been promoted from the Barca B team to the first team at the same time, a fact that you only found out when you stepped into the coach’s office on your first training session of the season.

“Y/n, thank you for coming in slightly early for this. I want you to meet Aitana, I believe you might already know her from both your Spanish youth team days but as you are both new to the team this year I thought it would be a good idea to have you paired up coming into today. I know joining a new team can be scary so I want you two to look out for each other.” He gave you both a pat on the back as he left the office.

“Hola. It’s good to see you.” As you were now going to be teammates you decided it was time to be a bigger person and offer that metaphorical olive branch. You were adults now, the petty youth nature of ignoring each other surely couldn’t happen anymore.

“Hola” She didn’t look at you but at least she replied. You took this as a good sign, maybe you could get on this time around.

“Shall we go get our new stuff? I don’t want us to be late on our first day.” The smaller woman nodded and followed you into the hall and towards the training room. You couldn’t tell if her quiet nature was due to nerves about being on the team or not wanting to speak to you. You were leaning more towards the latter based on your history.

You both got introduced to the players that you would now call your teammates and started training. By the end of the session, you had spoken confidently to a few of the other women on the team and was happy with how you had settled yourself in. You were worried about this the most when accepting the contract, you had not lived in Spain since you were 13. This meant you felt a disconnect from the culture and the people, a disconnect that you were happy was all in your head. Aitana on the other hand had been quiet and reserved and you didn’t know if you could help her, you didn’t know if you wanted to help her.

It shocked you when you thought about it later that night at home, the woman who had been the top dog, the woman who was so confident in her obvious ability was shy and reserved now even though she had made it. You spent that night thinking about what you should do in this situation, you were torn on whether you should try and help the smaller woman or not.

It had been a good year for you, your debut season had been perfect. You were a starter now and got a good amount of game time, you were the joint top scorer in the league and you had made some wonderful friends on the team. You only had one issue, Aitana. The woman wasn’t necessarily mean to you anymore, she hadn’t been the whole season. Well, not like she was back in your youth days anyway. The shorter woman just didn’t speak to you even when you tried to speak to her. She would avoid being in the same room as you if she could, didn’t pair up with you unless asked to and would always steer clear of you if you were on the same team during training games.

After trying to engage her with your new friends at the beginning of the season, she retreated away even more. It was like she was scared to be around you and that seemed to extend to some of the girls you were closest with.

You just didn’t understand what you had done to make her hate you that much, this is what you were currently explaining to Leila and Patri, two of your best friends on the team. She really must hate you to treat you the way she had back in your youth days and to then go on to ignore you now.

“I just don’t get it, when we first met it was like she hated me just for what I looked like or something because she was horrible before we even really spoke. She was so good and everyone looked up to her so I was just on my own, the little American who shouldn’t be there. Now she just doesn’t say anything, I’m confused. I want to get on with her for the sake of the team at the very least, I see her laughing with some of the other girls and I just don’t know why she can’t do that with me?” It was honestly starting to get to you, you just wanted to know what you did wrong so you could fix it.

“She might just not know how to talk to you because of the fact you have a past. You have two options really, you corner her and make her speak to you or you carry on crushing on her from afar.” Your head whipped to the older woman at that.

“I don’t have a crush, what? I. Shut up.” The two women laughed at you. The fact that you found the midfielder a little attractive was the best thing the two of them had heard in weeks. “I hate you both.”

You walked out onto the balcony of Leila’s apartment where you were currently having a girl's evening. The sun was setting in the distance and you could just about make out a group of girls kicking a ball in the park over the road. You don’t know when it happened and you don’t know why it happened but at some point over the last year, your dislike for the woman from your past had turned into affection.

You were screwed.

[millervrse]

𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄𝐑! BY THE COFFEE MACHINE ! javier peña x reader

summary: Javier Peña doesn’t like you. You’re too nice, too bubbly, and you get on his last nerve. He didn’t get how anybody in this line of work could be so goddamn cheery all the time. Though aside from your, in his eyes, forced and fake kindness, you had no bad features, and perhaps that, added to your beauty, is what ticked him off so much. Could he learn to like you the more time passes, or would you do this dance of hatred forever?

pairing: javier peña x afab!reader

warnings, notes: EVENTUAL 18+ smut, reader has a bit of an established backstory, a few uses of y/n but only when necessary, r! has a dog, references to narcos and thus real life people and occurrences (pablo escobar, the cartel, etc), ENEMIES TO LOVERS but it’s one sided because javier hates r!, r! has an established personality, grumpy x sunshine

word count: 500-

LYN SPEAKING! so this is an already finished piece that i wrote nearly a year ago, a word count of 20k+ to boot! holy fuck! this is a series from javier’s pov, though if people are interested, i’d like to throw in more chapters from reader’s pov using second person, especially for smut as the original piece was written as an sfw work. if people like this, i’m down to share much, much more! anyway, enjoy this little prologue. lyn out!

edit: read the next part HERE!

My name is Javier Peña, and I work as an agent for the DEA in Bogotá, Columbia.

I’ve never been a commitment kind of guy. Not unless we’re talking about work, anyways. For the longest time, the only thing I’d ever call myself loyal to was just that: Work, with a side of coffee and cigarettes.

And tracking down a Columbian drug lord, but we’ll talk about that later.

I’ve seen this job do a lot of things to people. I’ve seen it better them as a person, and I’ve seen it tear them to shreds even more. I’ve seen it end up in friendships, just as much as it ends in divorce.

And I’m no genius, but if you look at the odds, the latter happens way more often.

I never would’ve guessed that, of all the goddamn people in the DEA, I would be one of the ones to experience the phenomenon that is this job bringing people together.

If you think the odds of people in the DEA either making friendships, or divorcing, or even becoming enemies is low, the odds of them falling in love is ridiculously lower. It’s almost laughable.

And let’s just say: Javier Peña was not the kind of guy who those odds would fall upon.

A year ago today, I was bullying the woman who would soon become my girlfriend, and hopefully, one day, my wife. Now that I look back on it, it doesn’t seem palpable that it even happened at all.

That same woman is in my line of vision now, playing with her dog as they run around in front of me. She’s laughing as she throws a frisbee around, chasing the Shepard mix as it runs after it. From time to time, she’ll turn back to me, flashing that brilliant smile of hers that made me fall in love with her in the first place.

“Hey, Peña! Are you coming over here or what?” she yells at me with that witty sass that’ll always bring me to my knees.

Or, in this case, my feet.

I get up from where I lay in the sand, shaking my head at her as I approach. She looks even more gorgeous than usual as she holds her hands on her hips, hanging fire for me as the sun is setting behind her.

I don’t like getting sappy. I didn’t like getting sappy, I guess. But every love with no end, surely has a beginning.

Allow me to give you ours.

if you made it to the end of this, i really hope you liked it! please consider leaving a reblog, as they help my work immensely <3 kisses!

[mrwxrldwide]

Birthday

bau team x bau!gn!reader (platonic)

This is me practicing writing again ! <3

Summary : it’s reader’s birthday and the team surprise them

Warnings : swearing, mentions of neglect ?? Fluff fluff fluff !! I think that’s it ? Maybe mentions of abandonment and abuse ??? Idk. They/them pronouns. Second person.

Word count : 0.7k

Request : no

Also I think elementary is the same as primary but diff?? (Primary finishes at 12 years old) Idk I’m not American I’m just using what I think is right and I don’t feel like researching

“---“ in place of reader’s name / y/n

I apologise for any grammatical and spelling errors or if I’ve written anything wrong

My requests are open for writing only !!!

no proofread !!

It was just like any other day. You got yourself ready for work, dressed in your usual attire, and had a cup of coffee for breakfast. Was that healthy? Definitely not. Did you care? No, not really.

After spending a total of fifteen minutes getting yourself ready, you finally made your way out of your apartment, closing and locking the door behind you. There was nothing special about today, at least, that’s what you had accepted as a fact over the years anyway.

It was your birthday today. But you stopped caring for those a few years ago, your birthday had just lost its spark after all this time.

Walking into the bullpen, you noticed something was off. Being the expert profiler you are, and just using your fucking eyes, you deduced that no one was in the area— and figured out that they were all in the briefing room.

Frowning, you place your bag down on the floor near your desk, standing up tall and making your way to the room where they probably planned to surprise you.

Why would they care for your birthday anyway? Your parents stopped caring when you finished elementary school, your siblings blew out your candles on the days you actually celebrated it, your birthday gifts came months late as Christmas presents. You were so sure that birthdays didn’t matter. Or, at least, yours didn’t.

Even though you expected a loud yell as a surprise, you still jumped once you opened the door and was greeted with a ‘pop’, as well as confetti blasting in your face and sticking itself to your hair.

“Happy birthday, my darling!” Penelope exclaimed, wrapping you in a tight hug before you could even get a word in. Her head was tucked in to snugly to the crook of your neck that you could smell her strawberry scented perfume, that sweet fragrance filling your nose and instantly calming you down. Penelope released you from her deathly tight hug before the others started crowding you with ‘happy birthdays’ and ‘see you in the nursing home, oldie’, the latter being a snarky comment from Morgan.

After accepting their birthday wishes with a smile (one you tried to fend off, but failed), you look over Reid’s shoulder, seeing a pink and yellow cake set on the table, unlit candles placed randomly on the colourful dessert. Nearly tearing up, you look between all of them and smile. Showing them a genuine smile they rarely saw from you, and this made everyone even more happier.

“If you like the cake, just wait til you see the gifts.” Rossi chuckles, “I’m not sure about all of you guys, but I wanted to go all out— not too all out, ---, don’t you worry.”

You chuckled softly at his little reassurance, but was glad. You didn’t really want them spending so much money on you.

They all laughed at Rossi’s little joke, before Emily ushered you into a seat directly facing the cake, forcing you to sit in it.

“This is all too much, you guys.” You confessed, hiding your actual feeling behind a grin. Though, the smile was a genuine one, you just weren’t used to this much attention all at once. And they didn’t look at you like you were a burden!

“Nonsense, ---, you are apart of our team— our family— and families celebrate birthdays.” Morgan scoffed at you and rolled his eyes, as if your thought that they spent too much time and effort on you was absurd. None of them thought that way, but you did.

After the singing of happy birthday and blowing out of the candles (which you got to blow out on your own), you guys ate the vanilla flavoured cake and opening gifts, smiling and laughing.

You couldn’t believe that this is what birthdays were like, that they actually bought you things and spent time on you. That was your favourite thing about your birthday.

Morgan, of all people, offered to take all of your paperwork. Which was strange. You accepted, obviously, but it was just unlike him. Maybe JJ out him up to it.

If this was what birthdays were like every year, you could sure get used to it.

The end !!!

Thank you for reading this far, hope you enjoyed it and feel free to request or give feedback !!

- estelle

[maarrgarr]

The Unknown Heir.

part eight

masterlist of the Unknown Heir.

Gojo Satoru x fem! reader.

Synopsis: The reader returns after being gone for two years and leaving her boyfriend, Satoru, without giving him a reason. But now she doesn't come back alone.

Warnings: English is not my first language, possible grammatical and spelling mistakes, some plot changes.

N/a: This is a flashback!!

Satoru's arm was wrapped around your waist, while your head was lying on his chest. You both liked moments like this, the two of you naked and cuddling, after having had fantastic sex.

You wanted to sleep so badly, but you had things to do, as did your boyfriend, but he didn't seem to mind as you could feel his breathing heavy. You moved to get out of his arms, causing him to wake up. You sat up in bed and lay still doing nothing, you didn't feel like leaving, but you had to. "What are you doing? Go back to bed" Satoru asked you in a hoarse voice. "I have to go see Ieiri" you answered him and looked at him, his hair was tousled and his eyes narrowed looking at you, "And you have to go talk to Yaga-sensei" you told him to get up too. Yaga had called Gojo to come to his office, as he wanted to tell him something, both of you guessed to scold him for something.

You bent down to grab your underwear that was scattered on the floor and when you stood up your gaze met a picture that was on your desk, in it were Satoru, Suguru and you smiling and hugging each other. "You still haven't heard from Sugu?" you asked Gojo. A few days ago your best friend had gone on a mission and still hadn't returned, the strange thing was that he didn't answer any of the messages you had sent him, which was a habit whenever any of you went on a mission. "No, I also called him and he didn't answer me" Satoru answered you. For some reason this made you feel uneasy, there was something you didn't like, but you thought it was just a bad feeling, and soon Suguru would be back.

When you finished putting on your panties and bra, you stood up from the bed to look for the other clothes, but while doing so you felt how you got dizzy and soon you felt like throwing up, you quickly ran to the bathroom and threw everything in the toilet. Quickly Satoru followed you and knelt next to you, rubbing your back, "Are you ok love?" he asked you, you just nodded, stood up and washed your mouth. "Yeah, I just got dizzy out of nowhere and felt like throwing up, maybe I stopped too fast" you answered trying not to make him worry, "I understand, but it's like the fifth time you've been dizzy this week, only this time you threw up" he put a strand of your hair behind your ear, "Why don't you go see Ieiri and ask her to check you out?". You only nodded, you had been feeling sick for several days, but you couldn't find a coherent reason, although you didn't worry much, you thought that maybe you had eaten something bad.

When you arrived with your friend, Ieiri, and you started to tell her what you were feeling, she only looked at you with suspicion, something you noticed, "What's wrong?" you asked her, "Y/n, when was the last time you fucked Satoru?", "Today" you answered without shame and she rolled her eyes amused, "Well, let me rephrase the question, when was the last time you menstruated?". Suddenly a silence was created in the room, you couldn't remember when was the last time, and soon you understood what Ieiri was thinking, "No way" was the only thing you could say.

Before they could continue talking about it, Satoru and Professor Yaga entered the room. The latter didn't have a very good face. Your boyfriend moved to your side when he noticed that you didn't look very happy either, in fact he noticed you looked a little pale. He gently pinched your cheek, bringing you out of your reverie, "Everything okay?" he asked you, and he looked between you and Ieiri, both of you nodded.

"I have something very important to tell you, and I know it won't feel good, but it is my duty to tell you". The three of them turned their attention to Yaga, "As you may know a few days ago, your partner Geto, went on a mission and still hasn't returned. Well apparently something made Geto react badly and he ended up killing everyone in that city". That took you by surprise and it was as if, for a minute, nothing existed around you. It was impossible, your friend, Suguru, killing people, it couldn't be.

"It's impossible, maybe it was a curse" said Satoru just as in denial as you, "No Gojo, I'm afraid it's true, it has been proven that what happened in that city was the work of Geto and not some curse. Therefore and as stipulated by law, Geto Suguru is now a deserter and is considered a cursed user".

That was the last thing you heard, before feeling a blip go through your ears, suddenly seeing everything black and losing consciousness.

[hoe4sports]

“The world stops turning”

Caroline Graham Hansen x reader

AN: No trigger warning. This has been re written as of 31st of May.

You were fresh out of University, and for sure done with anything related to lectures, studying and assignments. You grew up in this silly little Norwegian town, Tromsø. You know, a place where you can see the northern lights, reindeers and polar bears! Well, the latter is not entirely true. It is just a dead polar bear stuffed for tourists to see and take pictures of. Regardless, you grew up here with your grandparents. Your father left when you were a baby, and your mother? You went no contact a few years ago as she put you through a lifetime of trauma. That is exactly why you decided that when you was finished with your bachelors degree in sports leadership, you needed to get out of this sad little town. It is always cold, and the town has winter for 9 months a year. Three of them are in complete darkness, no sun or no daylight. It’s just as bad as it sounds. That’s why you decided to apply for jobs pretty much anywhere but here. Places like Oslo, London, Greece, Australia (hello Sam Kerr) and even the us. You however ended up getting a job offer from the women’s department in the club known as Barcelona. It was just what you needed; Sun, beaches and Spanish women.

You decided to go to Barcelona a week early, you figured you had to take advantage of checking out the city and the nightlife! Barcelona had arranged this beautiful apartment for you downtown. It was a decent sized apartment in a new building with spectacular views from your bedroom window in the 23rd floor. You had never seen anything like this as you grew up very poor, and only lived in an apartment with your grandparents. You spent the first week checking out bars, restaurants and beaches. You also found a huge mall with all of your favourite stores! Naturally, you had to purchase new clothes as I was told that there would be an athletic dress code. Lululemon for the win!

You didn’t really meet a lot of hot Spanish women during your first week, but yoy made a few friends in the building. One of your closest neighbours, Ingrid Engen lived two doors away from you. She recognised me from a talent camp for 13 year olds in Norway. You had spent the first week getting to know each other, and when she found out you were going to be working for Barcelona; she was beyond excited. You two clicked naturally, and you went out to all her favourite bars, restaurants and shops. She really gave you the full experience! 

Fast forward to today, Monday morning. The first of August. At 5.30. Let’s just say that you regretted the last bottle of wine from last night. But today was the day! The day were you finally start your first “big girl job” and you bet you were feeling excited. You got your tired body out of bed and opened up the blinds in your apartment. The views were simply breathtaking. It was stunning! A beautiful sunrise with the most beautiful colors that you could possibly imagine. You made myself an iced coffee, and wrapped your fuzzy around yourself so you could sit outside on your private balcony. It felt relaxing. The air was crisp, the sound of the ocean was lingering in your ears and you could smell the salty beach. It was like a dream come true.

Your daydreaming soon became interrupted as you knocked myself intro reality. First day of your first job, right. You quickly made it to the bathroom and had a steaming shower. The smells of the floral soap felt like a full on aroma therapy session. You quickly got out of the shower and patted your body dry. Your blonde long hair dried and put in a half up half down bun and you did light makeup as your skin was tanned from the week in the sun. You always used some mascara, it really made your icy blue eyes pop. You got dressed up in what you had been requested to wear; Black athletic shorts, a black athletic top, your trusty black hokas and a hot pink lululemon jacket. It felt wrong, but your new boss had insured you that any athletic wear was good.  You grabbed my bag and you took a deep breath. One look in the mirror, some lip balm and you were out the door. This was going to be the first day of the rest of your life. 

*fast forward to being with your boss*

“Ah, and this office is where you will be working from! Feel free to decorate however you like.” The Spanish woman said. You nodded and listened as active as you could. “Here is your work phone, your laptop and your camera. If there is anything you need, you let me know.” she said as she handed over what looked like a tower of apple and canon products. You felt stunned. “Wow, this is amazing, thank you so much! I’m so excited to get to know the team, and I’m eager to get to work.” You replied as you sat down your new gear and followed the tall woman as she talked enthusiastically about Barcelona and their work culture. 

*Caroline POV*

Jonathan was going on, and on and on and on about what this season was gonna look like. I was tying up my white Nike cleats, they were brand new as the team wanted us to start fresh. I however, hated fresh and new and change. I liked stability, routine and same old. Why change something that isn’t broken?

The door to the hallway suddenly swung open. There was the head of staff, Maria. She was always so bright and shiny and talkative. Not really my way of life. “Ah, Maria, just in time!” Jonathan called out. “Come, come!” He urged and a blonde petite woman popped up from behind Maria. “This, ladies, this is Y/F/N. She is one of the new assistant coaches, and she will be primarily working with the wingers. With her, we will be unstoppable!” Jonathan said enthusiastically. The girl blushed, and smiled. “Hi squad, Im looking forward to kicking your asses on a daily basis”  she said with a cheeky grin. I was staring at her as I couldn’t remember why she seemed so familiar. “Caro, stop staring!” Mapi hissed at me. I rolled my eyes. “I wasn’t staring” I hushed, but with no luck as the team was already making their way onto the pitch.

[frc-ambaradan]

A long time ago in a... well... galaxy full of ducks and mice

Hello there!

How should we celebrate Star Wars Day? Uhm... what about a ride along some italian Disney "parodies" of Star Wars? And I use quotation marks 'cause, it'll probably surprise you but, as of today, there is no real Disney parody of Star Wars.

There are, though, many stories that draw inspiration from some elements of Lucas' saga, starting from "Topolino e la spada di ghiaccio" (1984) amazing fantasy saga by Massimo de Vita that has nothing to do with Star Wars but gives us the first Disney character whose design's been heavily inspired by Darth Vader: the evil Prince of Mists!

The nefarious Prince of Mists from "Topolino e la spada di ghiaccio".

Scattered throughout the years there are many other stories inspired by Star Wars from Silvia Ziche's Topokolossal (1997):

Mickey Skyrunner weilds his legendary catalytic baguette as he faces off Pietro Galactus.

up to "Paperoga eroe dello spazio" (2013) a splendid, touching story by Roberto Gagnor and Claudio Sciarrone that culminates in one of the best plot twists ever on Topolino's pages (this story is the dream of any Galactic Empire fan ❤️).

Easy, Gorgius "heir" to Behlpost's throne... who do you think you are? Luke Skywalker? (Spoiler: you're not).

You may call it Behlpost, but that's Naboo royal palace for sure... with imperial guards as it seems 😁 (or are they forerunners of Operation Cinder sentinels? 🤔).

The only story (well, saga actually) that comes the most close to a real parody is Giorgio Pezzin's "Topolino e i signori della Galassia" (1991) which draws heavily inspiration from Star Wars expecially in the second episode.

The main character of this story is Goofy, who finds out to have inherited special powers from some old relative. Powers that make him the only one able to help the Galactic Confederation in their struggles against robots named "the Metals" led by general Titanio who seeks to eradicate every biological life form from the galaxy.

Jeez, Titanio's soldiers may be robots but their aim is as bad as Stormtroopers'... 🤣🤣

That's definitely the Battle of Hoth.

I know for sure there are also Star Wars inspired stories starring Josè Carioca out there, and McGreals' "May the farce be with you" (2005), but, unfortunately, I never had the chance to read them 'cause they've never been published in Italy.

But today's biggest obstacle to a Star Wars parody is Disney's auto-censorship. Yes, 'cause there's a strict rule at Disney that forbids authors to write parodies of other Disney franchises... so any parody of Star Wars (and Marvel) it's a very loud no-no. Sad :'(

We do know, though, that there are at least three finished legit parodies that never saw the light of day. One by Francesco Artibani that was supposed to be published on Topolino and two made-in-Egmont drawn by Cavazzano and Freccero.

Of the latter we can appreciate a beautiful illustration and a single page thanks to Freccero sharing them online a few years ago:

Alas, unless Disney change their internal directives (and there's no way it's gonna happen anytime soon) we'll never get the chance to see these or any other Star Wars inspired story in the near future.

But we can sure appreciate the older ones and if you wanna indulge yourself in something different today... these are the stories you're looking for ;)

May the Force be with you!

(And LONG LIVE THE EMPIRE!!! 💪)

[fiftysevenacademics]

The Portrait

Summary: The Juniors get curious about what Wei Wuxian looked like before he died, and collaborate to paint a composite portrait based on what they can find out about his appearance. Inspired by this post.

************************

Lan Wangji and Lan Sizhui sat on opposite sides of a low table with a tattered scroll between them. The library was silent but for the whisper of quick brushstrokes on crisp white paper, giving new life to the ancient words, and for the rain tapping a lullaby on the roof.

The grey afternoon slanted through the windows at a peculiar angle, and the teapot had been emptied long ago. Both figures sat perfectly poised, but their fingers manipulated the brushes as if of their own will and their eyelids felt like lead. Lan Qiren always said copying manuscripts should be something they could do even in their sleep, and today, it almost felt like they were.

"Hanguang Jun?"

The question punctured the stillness like a firecracker. Lan Wangji's eyes shot open wide and he took in a sharp breath. He threw a scolding glance at Lan Sizhui, and dipped his brush on the wet inkstone.

"Quiet."

Lan Sizhui made a few more strokes then put his brush down.

"How did you recognize Wei Wuxian when he returned from the dead?"

Lan Wangji paused mid-stroke and his eyelids fluttered, but he finished writing the character without replying.

"He looked like Mo Xuanyu, so how did you know it was him?"

This time, Lan Wangji kept writing without any outward reaction but slightly flushed earlobes, which only Wei Wuxian would have noticed.

"What did Wei Wuxian look like back then?"

Now, Lan Wangji's mouth looked pinched, and Lan Sizhui knew if he continued, he might end up copying the whole manuscript by himself, three times over. So he picked up his brush again but gave in to a sudden impulse. Punishment be damned! He made long, fluid curves and sharp, defined lines on a clean sheet of paper and, when he was done, accented two points with red ink. The latter caught Lan Wangji's eye because they had not been using red.

Lan Sizhui pushed the paper across the table. Lan Wangji looked at the charicature of a wild-haired man with a brutish jaw and bulging red eyes, and was instantly displeased.

"Not accurate."

He continued writing for a moment, then said calmly, "You have seen Wei Wuxian. You should paint what you remember."

"But I don't remember his face," Lan Sizhui said plaintively.

"Clear your mind and paint the images that surface."

The rain continued for a few more days, and life at Cloud Recesses slowed. Disciples used the weather as an opportunity to spend more time in meditation, study, or practicing music. The idea of Wei Wuxian had taken root, however, and Lan Sizhui heeded Lan Wangji's advice. He had no choice, since Lan Wangji refused to speak of the matter.

He composed himself on a cushion, closed his eyes, and released a big breath, thoughts dissipating like smoke. He sat like this for a while, his breath measured and slow, images surfacing and fading until they began to take form, then he opened his eyes, and began to paint. But every time his brush touched the paper, he felt farther away from the face he saw in his mind, which was more of a feeling than memory. How could he paint a person he remembered only as a mood?

On the second day of trying, Lan Jingyi came to visit.

"It's more boring than usual around here. Where have you been, Sizhui? Let's go do something. We won't melt in the rain."

"I've been trying to paint from memory Wei Wuxian before he died, but I always get it wrong. I can't vividly remember what he looked like, but I know I'm doing it wrong."

Lan Jingyi leafed through the discarded attempts.

"I'll say! This one is all eyes, this one is all mouth, and this one looks like a monkey."

"Don't be rude." Lan Sizhui looked sad.

"I'm sorry," Lan Jingyi said sincerely. "Why do you want to know what he looked like back then?"

"I should remember, but I don't. If I knew what he looked like, maybe a lot more of my memories from that time would return."

"Hanguang Jun..." Lan Jingyi began but Lan Sizhui cut him off by shaking his head.

"Well, you know who knew Wei Wuxian even better back then? Jiang Cheng."

"I don't dare ask him about Wei Wuxian."

"Right. But Jin Ling can."

********************************

Jin Ling crumpled the letter and threw it into a wastebasket. He had long since made peace with the fact that he had grown fond of resurrected Wei Wuxian. But when he thought of the old Wei Wuxian, he longed to be held by his mother, a comfort he could not remember and had not experienced since infancy thanks to Wei Wuxian, and he was filled with rage. How humiliating to be a clan leader and miss such childish things!

He kicked the wastebasket over and paced the room with his arms crossed over his chest, Fairy looking at him quizzically from a little bed in the corner. Lan Sizhui had a point. The man who saved Sizhui's life was also the man who had ruined his. It didn't seem fair that neither of them knew what such an influential person looked like. Would knowing sedate the nameless, helpless thing clawing at his heart? It couldn't hurt to ask Jiang Cheng if he happened to have an old portrait laying around, and his uncle was scheduled to visit next week.

*******************************

"Why do you want to see that?" Jiang Cheng fumed. "Do you feel so much affection for that traitor in his resurrected form that you want to feel it for the version of him responsible for the deaths of your mother and father, too?"

"No, jiujiu. But shouldn't I know the face of the man that left me an orphan?"

Jiang Cheng softened.

"My parents had portraits painted of all three of us but they were damaged when Lotus Pier was destroyed, and then, after..." his voice caught. "I burned his."

They looked away from each other awkwardly, Jin Ling at Fairy and Jiang Cheng at a butterfly hovering near a flower.

"But I can describe him for you."

*********************************

Jin Ling, Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi, and Ouyang Zichen sat around a table beneath a shady pavilion at Jinlintai.

"How did I get dragged into this?" Ouyang Zichen said, waving his hand at the stack of paper and brushes, several colors of paint, and a little porcelain pot of water in front of him.

"You're the artist, Zichen," Lan Jingyi said. "In fact, you should be honored to paint a portrait of the infamous Yiling Patriarch."

They all pictured the Wei Wuxian they knew, flitting around Hanguang Jun like a moth and subtly encouraging the juniors to make small transgressions against the Lan's many rules, and snickered at the dramatic moniker.

"Jiujiu said he was vain, always bragging about how handsome he was and checking his hair in mirrors like a girl, but he wasn't really all that great," Jin Ling said. "He thought that girls swooned over his looks, but girls do that for any man with money and status."

"Why aren't you painting, Zichen? Get this down!" Lan Jingyi scolded.

"He hasn't said anything! I can't paint 'vain braggart who fancies himself a ladies man,' can I? Did clan leader Jiang tell you anything specific, like what shape his eyes were or how big his chin was?"

"His eyes were big and could make you feel like the most important person in the world one instant and and like a worthless ant the next. He smiled easily, but there was always a hint of cruelty in the corners of his mouth."

Lan Sizhui looked at the painting taking shape.

"No! His eyes were kind and bright and his smile was generous."

Ouyang Zichen altered a few strokes and Lan Sizhui said excitedly, "That looks so familiar!"

They went on like this for some time, until Jin Ling relayed everything Jiang Cheng told him and Lan Sizhui's hazy memory ran dry. Ouyang Zichen held aloft the painting of a young man with long black hair tied up in a red ribbon and a face that might be considered handsome if it could decide what expression to wear. The nose had a bump in the middle-- Lan Jingyi had slapped the table laughing at his own joke and it shook Ouyang Zichen's hand. The smile was crooked, and one eye was a little higher than the other, but overall, it was a passable painting, though not one Ouyang Zichen would endorse with his good name. He handed it to Lan Sizhui.

"You have two people at Cloud Recesses who can tell you how accurate this is. Good luck!"

****************************

Lan Sizhui knocked on Lan Wangji's door.

"Who is there?"

"Sizhui. Hanguang Jun, I have something to show you. May I come in?"

He heard frantic scrambling then the door opened and Lan Sizhui saw Wei Wuxian standing by the bed, hastily fastening his robe and smoothing his hair. His cheeks looked a little flushed, but Lan Wangji, as usual, looked icily elegant, even though his forehead ribbon was askew. Lan Sizhui cleared his throat.

"Do you remember what you told me a few weeks ago?"

Lan Wangji spied the roll of paper in his hand and recalled the moment precisely. "Show," he said.

Lan Sizhui unrolled the painting, and Lan Wangji struggled to control himself. Lan Sizhui knew this because something close to a big, proper grin played on his mouth, which he had seen only on the rarest of occasions, all of them since Wei Wuxian's return.

"Accurate," he said. "Wei Ying?"

Wei Wuxian bounded across the room and snatched the painting from Lan Wangji's hand.

"Is this supposed to be me, Sizhui? Is this some kind of joke?"

Lan Sizhui felt mortified.

Turning accusatorialy toward Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian said, "Did Lan Zhan tell you this is how I looked back then?"

Lan Wangji strained so hard to contain his laughter and let no emotion taint his cheeks that he feared he'd either burst a blood vessel or qi deviate.

"Hanguang Jun told me to look deep into my own memories, but what I found were feelings that looked like images that I couldn't paint. So Jin Ling asked clan leader Jiang. Then Ouyang Zichen painted what clan leader Jin and I described."

"Jiang Cheng! No wonder the person in this painting looks like a shifty lowlife with a weak chin and beady eyes! Is this how you respect your elders, Sizhui?"

By now, Lan Wangji was visibly struggling.

"Did you know about this? Are you in on it, too? Lan Zhan, please tell this naughty child how beautiful I was!"

"Wei-qianbei, if Hanguang Jun loved you, I knew you must have been beautiful. And every feeling, every memory of you I could summon was beautiful. But I wish I could remember clearly. I apologize for offending you."

Wei Wuxian handed him back the painting and patted his head.

"A-Yuan. Those were hard times, and maybe it's best you don't remember," he said gently.

It was likely, after all, that he had witnessed Wei Wuxian being torn to shreds until nothing was left. He hoped the child never had to bear the burden of that memory. If the face of the man who became his father was the price of blissful ignorance, Wei Wuxian considered it a fair one.

[smkkbert]

Time for a story - Tremors

“The living room is fully completed, including the personal stuff like the photos you asked for. The dining room will be completed today. There was a delay because the carpet you picked wasn’t available in three of the stores that offered it previously. Anyway, it will be delivered today, and we can finish the dining room then.”

Oliver nodded slowly, listening to Thea’s oral pleadings.

When he had arrived here – here being the Queen Mansion that had been rebuilt in the behest of Felicity years ago – Thea had been ordering the helpers around. She had been completely in her element. Bossing people around, politely even so, had always been her thing. As a teenager, she could have been quite mean, but once she had found a purpose, something reasonable for her to do, she had put all the effort necessary into it. She had helped with Verdant in the first few years of its existence, and now she helped setting up this place for Oliver and his family.

Admittedly, Oliver was feeling a little guilty for having Thea take care of everything. She had offered it herself, but he knew that she was still feeling guilty for not going into the field with the others the night of Rose Blood’s final attack. No matter how often he told her that he understood, she would only smile sadly and say that she wasn’t ready to forgive herself for it.

The truth was that Oliver was grateful that Thea was taking on the task of making this rebuilt mansion ready for them to move in. She was seeing things rather rationally and tried to make it a new home instead of trying to make it resemble the old Queen Mansion or Queens’ last burnt down family home. The first would have been difficult as Felicity had made changes when rebuilding the house in the first play, trying to make it lighter and more family-friendly. The latter had been difficult because the entire style of the house was different from the home Oliver had built for his family.

It had been weeks since he had been released from the prison and pardoned by the president. All that time, he, Felicity and the kids had still been living in the penthouse of the hotel that Bruce had bought, so Felicity and the kids had had a safe place to say. Although it was comfortable there and they had arranged themselves there, it wasn’t a real home. It was just a place to stay, and they all needed to get back into a real home and to their new normal.

Oliver looked around shortly. The foyer that had been covered in dark wood and old, dark furniture back when it had been the original mansion that he had grown up in, was almost unrecognizable. The paneling was simpler and lighter, so were the carpet and the furniture there. It was different than the mansion had been, and it was different than their home had been. But it was a style that he liked, something to get used to and something to feel at home in.

“The floors and walls in the offices are done, so you can choose what to do when you are ready. Since you said they aren’t priority-“

“They aren’t,” Oliver interrupted her, shaking his head. “We have our offices at Queen Incorporated and City Hall, and we can work everywhere. Our priority are the family rooms – living room, dining room, kitchen, bathrooms, bedrooms.”

“Raisa is currently filling the kitchen cabinets, and the bathrooms have been finished three days ago. There is only a little bit of decorating missing, but I found a nice local shop whose owner was so thrilled when I told her that I was looking for decoration on your house, and she immediately agreed to come here and decorate the rooms herself.”

Oliver opened his mouth to say something, but Thea lifted a hand.

“Before you say anything, I told her what you like and don’t like, and the ideas that she told me sounded great. And of course I called Felicity, who ran a quick security check on her. I wouldn’t let a stranger into your new home before I knew that the stranger could be trusted.”

He knew she wouldn’t. Oliver smiled gratefully, but Thea just turned back to her report.

“The bedrooms are a little bit more difficult.” Thea turned the page on her clipboard and skimmed the precise lists that she had made to always know where everything was at. “Your bedroom is almost done, but the bed is still not delivered. I checked back with the shop, and it should be here by Wednesday. The furniture for the dressing room is delivered, but the dressers and shelves aren’t set up yet. Even if they are – what would you put in there? You barely have any clothes.”

Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “We can buy new clothes.”

“Again, not a priority,” Thea concluded from his tone and nodded her head, “understood. If Felicity is ready for a wild shopping spree-“

“-I am sure she will call you.”

“She better does.” Thea grinned, but she turned serious again quickly. “I took Emmy and Tommy here to check the progress on their rooms earlier this week. Unfortunately, Emmy’s room was painted in the wrong color, so we had to redo that one, but we were able to put in some of the furniture yesterday. Emmy will come by again tomorrow, so she can decide if she wants anything placed differently. She also needs to decide on some more decorations. Tommy was happy with his progress, but it turned out that we made a mistake measuring the room, so the planned astronomy corner wouldn’t have fit with the furniture. We sent the furniture back and ordered new ones which should be here by tomorrow or the day after that.”

Oliver nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

“William’s room is finished. We will have a video call later today, so he can make sure everything is the way he wants it to be.”

Again, Oliver nodded. He was glad that William had a room in their new house too. Although he wasn’t home that much anymore, Oliver was glad he still had a place in the house. It would feel wrong otherwise. He wanted William to know that he was always welcomed here and that they loved him like crazy.

“Millie’s and Addie’s rooms are still mainly undone. Neither of you has told me yet what the two really want. I sent you the drafts for the rooms, but… no reply.”

Oliver sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Millie and Addie can’t really decide on an idea, and Felicity and I just had so much on our hands lately and…”

Thea smiled at him sympathetically. “I know. I didn’t mean to reproach you. I’m just saying that I need a decision to continue my work.”

“I know. You will have our decision by tomorrow. I promise.”

When Thea was able to start working on Millie’s and Addie’s rooms by tomorrow, they might be able to move in by the weekend or maybe the beginning of the next week, Oliver estimated. That wasn’t too long away, but it wasn’t too close to feel hurried either. They didn’t have much stuff at the hotel as it was, so it wouldn’t be too hard to move. It could be done in a day.

Still thinking about the upcoming change in their life, Oliver caught the hesitant expression on Thea’s face. Perking his eyebrows, he cocked his head.

“Is there anything you aren’t telling me?” he asked. “A murine plague? Must? Safety defect?”

“John, Bruce, Felicity and you certainly turned this into another Fort Knox. I doubt that anyone comes in that isn’t supposed to. I am not even sure anyone will get out of here if you don’t want it.”

“Good to know,” Oliver said, thinking about the kids and the fact that they would grow up into teenagers. He knew the things he had done as a teenager. They had been stupid back then, for his children they could easily be dangerous. “So what else is there?”

Thea looked at her clipboard, pursed her lips and held it out for him.

“It has to be bad,” Oliver joked.

As soon as he took the clipboard from her and looked at the item on her list that was marked with three big question marks, Oliver felt his smile fading from his face though.

Mia’s nursery was written there in Thea’s neat handwriting.

He thought about the mobile he had found in the ruins of their homes. It was the only thing that had been left of Mia’s room, and it was almost the last thing left of her at all. They had their memories and photos, but every other evidence that she had been a part of their lives had been burnt with their house.

Well, of course there was the devastating pain they had been left with too. It wasn’t really visible to anyone else, but that pain was with them all the time. Mia had come into their lives unexpected, but they had loved her just as much as they loved all of their children. She had been left with them because they had been trusted with her.

“I watched the TV interview,” Thea said into the silence. “Felicity is still suffering, isn’t she?”

“We all are,” Oliver whispered, “but we have to move on.”

“There’s no chance you are getting her back?”

Oliver shook his head. “Apparently, our lifestyle is not appropriate for being foster parents.”

Thea shook her head. “It’s not fair.”

“No, it’s not.” Oliver sighed. “But they don’t want to take Mia out of her new foster family either. They think it’s necessary for her to have stability. I can’t argue with that, so…”

Stepping forward, Thea wrapped her arms around Oliver and hugged him tightly. Oliver wrapped his arms around Thea in return and sighed once more.

He remembered how hard it had been to learn how much time of William’s life he had missed when he had learned that he had had a son for years. In some way this was worse because he knew what a short time of Mia’s life he had been able to be a part of. There wouldn’t be more. At least with William, he had always known that they had an entire future to look forward to and to make up for the time they had missed out on.

With Mia, all they had was their past.

→ → → → →

“At the time Oliver turned himself in, we were fostering the little girl that was abandoned outside of the Smoak & Queen Science Center. We fell in love with her instantly. It felt like there was a reason why she was placed right where we would find her. The social worker that was responsible for her told Oliver that the little girl would have quite some troubles to find a family to take her in. Even in foster care, it wouldn’t be easy for her. The media had already taken interest in her, and her health issues might shy away possible adoptive parents too. That is how Oliver and I made the decision to take her in. It was a difficult process, especially emotionally. Living with the fear that she might be taken away from us because her biological family would want her back or because we would be seen as unfit to take care of her was difficult.” Felicity took in a trembling breath. “We were afraid of getting our hearts broken when she would be taken away. And she was. In the process of-“

The recording of the interview stopped on Felicity’s face. Her eyes were filled with tears, a single one rolling down her cheek. The stress and pain of talking about her loss was all too visible. It was a heartbreaking image, one she had seen a few times too often these last days.

Shaking her head, Felicity muted the TV and went back to cuddling Hawk. He was lying on his side in front of her, his back pressed to her front. Felicity snuggled her face into his fur and closed her eyes.

It had been a week since the interview had been broadcasted. Ever since she had seen herself crying about the loss of her youngest child at least five times a day. That snippet of the interview had been broadcasted on TV multiple times, and it was shown on every gossip website too. Everyone on social media seemed to be talking about it too. Since everyone in the city seemed to have watched the interview, she had been looked at with a lot of sympathetic expressions in the eyes.

All she had wanted to do was watching the news and of course the first piece had been about that interview. It should have been about a lot more than their loss. It should have been about the new beginning for the city, the new transparency about what they were doing and how they were doing. It should have been about Starling City’s future. Now that seemed to be a little, almost forgotten fragment of what that interview had been about.

Blinking through one eye, Felicity tried to figure out if any important local news had started yet. She found a reporter, an elderly man whose name she had forgotten, reporting from in front of the Office of Children and Family Service. Behind him, she could see protestors.

Felicity sat up and unmuted the TV.

“…since early this morning. We have talked to some protestors who explained that their main reason for gathering here is to show loyalty to the Queen Family. Oliver Queen, one of them said, was ready to give up his freedom to save this city. He thinks that the least people can do for the man that turned this city into a real union is to show up in support and fight a fight that he himself might be too tired fighting.”

The image changed. Instead of the reporter, a group of protestors were shown now. They held up signs, saying Bring Mia back! and He gave us our city. Now give him his baby. or We trust them with the city, why not trust them with a baby?

“The CPS did not respond to any of our requests for an interview so far and-“

Felicity switched off the TV and just stayed sitting on the couch without moving for a moment. Hope had sparked inside of her, and Felicity hated that. She had hated that Mia wasn’t with them, but she had accepted that there was nothing to be done about that. That was why hope was dangerous.

When the elevator that led to the penthouse opened with a quiet sound, Hawk jumped over the back of the couch and ran to welcome Oliver back home.

“Hey, Buddy,” she heard him say, “what would you think about a run? I could need a good run.”

Hawk barked in response, making Oliver chuckle.

Felicity lifted her hands and rubbed them over her face. The sooner she forgot about this report, the better. She would just have to pretend like she had never seen it in the first place.

Putting on a smile, she breathed out slowly once more and turned to follow Hawk to the specious entrance area where the elevator was. Oliver was standing there in his suit, the jacket tossed away and the sleeves of his shirt rolled up. Hawk had climbed up on him, his forelegs hanging over Oliver’s arms and his head snuggled against Oliver’s chest while he was petting him.

As soon as Oliver lifted his head and his eyes met Felicity’s, she frowned and cocked her head. He rarely ever looked tired. Today he did though.

“What’s wrong?”

They asked the question at the same time as Oliver must have seen the same tiredness in Felicity’s eyes. Chuckling softly, Oliver set Hawk’s forepaws back on the ground. He crossed the distance towards Felicity and wrapped his arms around her body tightly then. Felicity leaned her head against his chest, closed her eyes and breathed him in. With Oliver here, everything was easier and she just felt at home. Even in this still quite cool and impersonal penthouse.

She hummed contently, wrapping her arms around Oliver’s middle loosely. His heartbeat was slow and firm, just the way it should be. Whenever she took the time to listen to it, she realized why he had to like sleeping his ear pressed to her chest so much. There was something incredibly soothing about listening to the heartbeat of the person you loved.

“Are you okay?” he asked with whispered voice and placed a kiss to the crown of her head.

“I am now.” Felicity snuggled herself a little more into his arms before she leaned her head back to look at him. “You?”

“Okay now.” He smiled at her softly before dipping his head forward and placing another kiss on her forehead. “I’ll make dinner. You can tell me about your day in the meantime.”

He tightened his arms around her briefly before he let go of her. His hands moved to her back, back up and down her arms to her hands. He tangled his fingers with her and pulled her with him towards the kitchen. Hawk followed, surely hoping to be used as a tester for everything that would go into the meal.

While Oliver was already gathering everything he needed for tonight’s recipe, Felicity poured both of them a glass of wine.

“Where are the kids?” Oliver asked, getting a knife to chop the vegetables.

“Emmy is meeting with Priya and Rosalie. Tommy and Millie are in their rooms. Addie is at ballet.”

Oliver nodded without looking up. “So, how was your day?”

“Unspectacular,” Felicity replied with a shrug of her shoulders. She didn’t want to talk about it. If she said more, she worried that she’d tell him about the reports. It was the least she wanted to do. “How was your visit at the house?”

The house. Felicity wasn’t quite ready to call it a home. Back when she had decided to rebuild the mansion and maybe live there one day, everything had been different. She hadn’t been used to live in a home that was completely hers and Oliver’s. Now that she was, it felt a little weird to move into the old Queen Family Mansion, even if the changes she had made back then and the changes that had been done in the last weeks made it a completely different property.

“Good.” Oliver looked at her briefly and smiled. “I think we can move in ten days to two weeks.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “Thea must have put a lot of work into it.”

“I think she has worked on it every free hour.”

Although Felicity hadn’t really expected anything else because Thea always put all the effort into things that were important to her and this was important to her.

“Great. I think it’s time that we move out of here and into a real home again. We need to settle a real new normal.”

“Agreed.”

Sipping at her wine, Felicity watched Oliver closely. He was very focused on chopping the vegetables which she found weirdly suspicious because she had watched him cook like a million times before, and she knew that he could chop blindly.

“You have heard about the protests, right?”

Now Oliver lifted his head and looked at her with a frown. “What protests?”

Apparently, she had been wrong, Felicity realized, pressed her lips together and rolled them over her teeth. Oops.

“Nothing.” Felicity shook her head and took a gulp of the wine. “Just forget about it.”

Oliver chuckled, putting the knife down and crossing the distance towards her. He came to stand behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder. He swayed her from side to side lightly.

“What protests?” he asked.

With a sigh, Felicity leaned back against him and put a hand to forearm on her stomach. She was sure that telling him about these protests would ground her again. It would help her accept that each and every spark of hope that Mia could come back to them would only add to the pain of accepting that Mia wasn’t coming back. She didn’t want to make Oliver’s heart break though.

“Felicity.” He said her name slowly and syllable-by-syllable. It was his way of saying that she wasn’t getting out of this. She had to tell him whether she wanted to or not because he wouldn’t let it go. “Tell me.”

Another sigh escaped her lips before she turned around to him and explained, “Apparently, some protestors have gathered in front of the CPS. They want Mia to be given back to us.”

Although Oliver tried not to show any reaction to her words, Felicity could see the emotions flickering over his face. There was hope for a split second, followed by worry, pain and finally worry again.

“Felicity.”

“I know.” Felicity clicked her tongue, shook her head and turned away from Oliver. She went to the opposite side of the counter and continued chopping the vegetables that he had left there before. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry.”

With held breath and biting down on her tongue, Felicity continued to chop the vegetables and waited for Oliver to say anything. He was about to when-

“Is Mia coming back?”

Oliver and Felicity both turned their heads to see Millie standing in the door, looking at them with her soft eyes. Oliver shot a brief look back at Felicity before he approached Millie and kneeled down in front of her, so they could look eye-to-eye.

“No, Millie.” Oliver shook his head and reached out his hands to take Millie’s in his. “Mia is not coming back. She is with a new family who will take good care of her.”

“But it was my birthday wish.”

Felicity had to fight the tears that threatened to well in her eyes. Even without having Milie explain what she meant, she knew it.

“I wished for Mia to stay with us,” she explained anyway, “so why doesn’t she?”

Oliver pulled at Mia’s hands until she was in his arms. He hugged her tightly, just like he had hugged Felicity before. Millie snuggled into his arms and released a long, sad sigh.

“Mia is with a new family,” Oliver repeated, “and that’s okay. All we ever wanted was for Mia to be healthy and happy, didn’t we?”

“And to stay with us.”

True, Felicity thought, but they couldn’t tell Millie that. It was hard enough for her to understand why Mia couldn’t stay with them. If Oliver and Felicity added to the confusion, it would be even harder for her.

“If I was taken away from you, would you just let me go?”

Felicity felt the air being sucked from her lungs and her heart being clenched down on until it had no more room to beat. If she had thought that her heart had been broken before, it was completely shattered now. She had always thought of herself as a mother who had an eye for the thoughts and feelings of her children. Today she seriously questioned her opinion of herself.

Of course she had known that Mia’s sudden disappearance from the family had been hard on the kids. She had known that they were sad and that they couldn’t really understand why that decision had been made or at least why Mia wasn’t taken back to them now that Oliver was back with them. Until now, the thought that their reaction to Mia’s removal caused them to think such unthinkable thoughts.

“Of course not.” Oliver pushed at Millie’s hips lightly until she was standing in front of him, and he could look her in the eyes. “We would never just let you go and be okay with that. We would fight until you were back home with us.”

“But not for Mia?”

Millie looked at Oliver for a long moment. He didn’t have an answer for her. Neither had Feliciy. So Millie probably made her own answer of that, turned around and walked away.

The silence Oliver and Felicity were left in was deafening. Felicity doubted that she’d feel worse if Millie had cried and screamed at them and just told them that she hated them. This was at least just as bad.

→ → → → →

When the alarm went off, Felicity felt Oliver rolling onto his side and switching it off. With a sigh, he turned back on his back again and looked at the ceiling just like she was. She hadn’t caught any sleep last night, and there was no use asking Oliver. He had been lying in bed next to her and brooded at least as loudly as she had.

“We need to talk to Millie again today,” Felicity said quietly, still looking at the ceiling.

“I know.” Oliver sighed. “I have been trying to find out what we could tell her, but nothing has come to mind. Have you thought about anything reasonable?”

“We will tell her that we have tried to get Mia back, but that we just don’t have many rights because we aren’t her legal parents. With her, that is different. We have more rights and we would use them to fight until she was back home with us.”

Oliver didn’t have to say anything for Felicity to know what he was thinking. Was that really enough to convince Millie? Would she understand and accept this answer? Felicity doubted it, and she knew Oliver was thinking the same.

There had been a lot of impossibilities in their lives, and they had always fought against it until they had succeeded. This time, they had made a few calls, met a couple of people and that had been it.

“I will make breakfast.” Felicity rolled to the edge of the bed and put on one of Oliver’s large hoodies that had been discarded on the floor. “Take your time with the shower.”

It was her way of telling him that she wanted a moment for herself, and she knew that Oliver would agree.

Felicity went to the kitchen barefoot and headed right for the coffee machine. Smiling, she found that Oliver had prepared it before they had gone to bed last night already. He had known already that she would need that coffee first thing in the morning.

With the mug of hot coffee between both of her hands, she went to the kitchen island, rested her elbows on the counter and closed her eyes for a moment as she breathed in the smell of coffee. She wasn’t surprised that the scent didn’t relax her as much as it usually did. It was a lot to ask of coffee to take away worries like hers.

She was about to try and distract herself by preparing breakfast when one of the smaller alarms she had set up for the security went off. Frowning, she went over to the nearest display and found that the elevator was being used. There were no signs of a break-in, but since she hadn’t been informed of a visitor by any member of the security team, she guessed someone must have sneaked past them.

Well, at least that would get her mind off the conversation she would have to have with Millie later today.

Felicity took her tablet and called up the control panel for the penthouse. She was already about to stop the elevator when she decided to take a quick look at the footage from inside the elevator first-

and felt her heart stop beating.

The entire world seemed to stop around her. Time froze and refused to continue. Felicity felt unable to move, unable to think. She was unable to do anything but stare.

Only Oliver’s quick steps behind her made time go on again. She turned around to him, still feeling trapped in time, only able to move very slowly. Oliver was standing there in jeans and a white shirt, his muscles tense, his face worried.

“The alarm went off,” he said, “what’s wrong?”

Felicity opened her lips to say something, but no sound came out. She tried again, but the result was the same.

In that moment, the quiet pling! of the elevator made Oliver turn around and hurry to the entrance area to face the intruder. It took a moment until Felicity could convince her feet to follow Oliver.

And there they were. The elevator doors were already closing behind Mrs. Wheeler, who was holding a bouncy Mia in her arms.

Oliver and Felicity just stared at the visitors, neither of them able to speak. Again, it felt like time had been frozen though Mia didn’t seem trapped in time. She went back and forth between babbling to her stuffed sloth behind her pacifier and squealing at Oliver and Felicity. Mrs. Wheeler just smiled softly, not saying a word. She didn’t seem to be frozen in time either, Felicity realized, but rather just patiently waiting for them to process this visit.

“Mrs. Wheeler,” Oliver was the first to find his voice again, “what are you doing here?”

Mrs. Wheeler’s smile grew even softer. “You might have heard about the protestors that have been taking up position in front of our offices?”

“Yes, it was on the news.”

“Well, they called our offices at least a hundred times since early last morning to talk about this case, so my boss eventually decided to call in an emergency meeting and revisit this case.”

Only now Felicity realized that she wasn’t breathing and sucked in a much-needed breath. She believed that she understood what Mrs. Wheeler was trying to tell her, but she didn’t dare to hope. That hope she had felt yesterday when she had heard about the protests had already been too much.

“I- I don’t think I understand,” Oliver said, his voice shaking slightly. “What are you saying?”

As if she had understood what was being talked about, Mia leaned forward in Mrs. Wheeler’s arms, reached out her hands in on Oliver and Felicity’s direction and said, “Mama. Dada.”

“I couldn’t have said it better.”

Mrs. Wheeler crossed the distance towards Oliver and Felicity. Since Mia’s arms were still reached out for them, Felicity automatically lifted Mia into her own arms and held her against her chest. Immediately, Mia’s face brightened with a wide smile, and Felicity felt her breath getting shaky.

“Before you outed yourself to be the Green Arrow, we thought of you as the perfect family for Mia,” Mrs. Wheeler explained, “but after you turned yourself in, we had to react. The president pardoned you though, so the reasons for taking her away have actually been erased.”

“But you said-“

“I know.” Mrs. Wheeler’s smile turned almost a little sad. “We said that Mia needed stability more than anything, and we still think so. I was finally able to make everyone see that Mia finds stability in you more than in anything or anyone else though.”

Mia clutched her sloth to her chest and leaned her head against Felicity’s chin with a sigh. Felicity kissed her forehead and pressed her nose against the top of Mia’s head. Her arms tightened around her. Even if someone tried to take her away from her again, she wouldn’t let them.

“And her foster parents?” Oliver asked, taking a step close to Felicity and rubbing his hand up and down Mia’s back. “What did they say?”

“Their report about Mia’s time with them actually made most of my colleagues agree to bring her back to you. They told them about how restless Mia was. She didn’t like to eat much and she-“

“Mia!”

At the excited exclaim behind her, Felicity turned around to find Millie standing there. The five-year-old ran towards her parents and her youngest sister. When Felicity kneeled down on the floor, Millie hugged Mia tightly and peppered her face with kisses that made Mia giggle.

The loud noises seemed to wake the rest of the kids. One by one, they came from their rooms, saw Mia and joined the reunion on the floor of the entrance area until they were all sitting there. Mia was in the middle of it all, slightly overwhelmed, but obviously very happy. Only Oliver was still standing, looking at the scene before him like he couldn’t process.

“I will give a moment to enjoy as a family,” Mrs. Wheeler said, “if you could just tell me where to wait, so we can discuss the next steps for Mia’s adoption.”

“The kitchen,” Oliver suggested, gesturing towards it, “there is coffee and-“

“I’ll be fine.” Mrs. Wheeler smiled once more before she turned and left to go.

While the kids were still telling Mia how much they had missed her and how much she had missed in these last weeks, Oliver just watched them. Felicity knew how he felt because she was feeling the same. If she hadn’t felt Mia’s heartbeat against her chest a couple of minutes ago, she wouldn’t be able to process this at all either. Even now she was scared that she would just wake up and all of this had just been a dream.

When Felicity reached out a hand for Oliver, he took it and let himself be pulled down on the floor with the rest of the family.

“This feels like a dream,” he whispered what she had thought before and finally turned his head to look at her. “Is it?”

Felicity shook her head and squeezed Oliver’s hand. “This is real. Mia is back with us.”

Her words seemed to be what he had needed. A smile spread on Oliver’s lips and he put an arm around Felicity’s shoulder to pull her into a tight hug. They had been lucky before because they had gotten out of that impossible situation that Blood Rose had put them through. Now with Mia back with them, they were more than lucky. They were experiencing the highest form of happiness one could feel. This was what it had to be to be truly and implicitly happy.

[unknownfrom34]

Either Come Back With Your Shield or On It.

The title is inspired by the quote made by the Spartans, it is for @muzzleroars obviously, this story will be after this and before this if I had to be honest. Also, story is based on what they said here and I seized it.

I haven't worked on this until a few days ago, I had to finish up writing this up today. Enjoy!

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

"...So you two are willing to learn how to fight?"

The older Archangel looked down at the two smaller Archangels, Michael and Gabriel, one looked nervous as the other was a tad less than his older brother.

Azazel cocked his head to the side, a smile cannot be seen from under his helm. The two brothers looked at each other and then back at the teacher and trainer. They nodded.

Azazel leaned in closer towards them, his light pink closing ever slightly and his hands on his hips. "You two think that you will throw yourselves at each other and throwing paws willy-nilly will be a way to fighting? Lucifer had told me how you two have fought the moment you were brought to life." he then shook his head.

He looked at them closely. Gabriel is shorter than Michael, Michael is a lion cub but a lion cub that is all skin and bone while the hatchling has a little bit more meat on his bones than the latter. "No offense, but I do not think that tactic is going to save you cherubs the trouble."

"Are you saying that we are weak?" Gabriel lifted his head up towards the older knight before him. Azazel chuckled lightly at this question. "Oh boyo, I am not saying it but the way you two are; could be but I can change that."

"But, why would Father need an army?"

Azazel could only look at Michael. "You talk too much, boys."

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

"And make sure your Light is channeled into your thoughts if you desire to have a weapon in hand." Azazel crosses his arms as his wings beat steadily. Looking down at Gabriel who looks uneasy.

"I-I am not too sure on how I can think..." "The think you will be able to do in mind, but-" Azazel turned towards Lucifer's personal guard, Beelzebub, who had one pair of arms crossed, the other pair on his hips, and the final pair are either held a spear or laying by his side, the four eye holes glanced up to Azazel and gave him a firm nod. "I will help you out on this matter, look upon me, little lamb." Azazel turned his head, unsheathing his sword and held it upward horizontally, held it there for a moment. "Look at this sword, and, although if you still can't think; recreate this in your head."

Gabriel looked at him for a moment, hesitating for a moment as Azazel held it for a few minutes before lowering it down and sheathing it. "Now you get to do it too."

Gabriel was worried still but he considered the advice, creating weapons from thin air using his Light can't be that hard, right? Gabriel held his shaking hand upward and then he strained his mind, he grunted for a moment like he was putting into the effort in doing so. It seemed like it wasn't working until he started to feel something; the air felt dry before he jumped slightly once he saw a crackle electricity for a moment before it formed into something. The wisps of electricity and hard light shaped roughly before it formed a perfectly shaped sword but it wasn't Azazel's that he knew.

This sword was curved and single edged blade with a circle guard and in fact, it was long grip that made him grabbed onto it with two hands. He grunts in surprised once he was losing balance, steadied himself once he got a good grip. He heard Azazel laughed as he flew down to the startled Cherub. His feet planted onto the ground, looking at the newly made weapon of light. "I have never seen anything like this before, boy."

Gabriel smiled sheepishly.

"Now," Azazel rubbing his palms together. "Once you and Michael start training, you will remember this one quote I have been working on in mind in case you will need it in battle: You can either come back with your shield or on it."

Gabriel nodded silghtly. "Alright." He took a deep breath. "Where can we start?"

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Lucifer had to admit it, he had made a wise choice in selecting Michael in being a new Prince of Heaven and yet, as his personal guard had put it: Fairly stubborn.

This cherub of an Archangel wanted to wrestle any threats that dared come at their way once they brought light to all. "Do you think that you are still too young for being a hero, Michael?" Beelzebub spoke gently with a hint of sarcasm, standing by Lucifer as per usual. "Anyone can be a hero at a young age." Michael rebuked, like before when he wanted to challenge his elder brother.

"But you are still too young to be one." "I know Lucifer, but if anyone had ever threaten all of Heaven, I will litter them in chains within seconds!" He spread out his four wings in many shades of purple as he does a heroic pose dramatically, "You may not know it, Beelzebub doesn't know it, even the Father himself knows it but I have got the moves!"

His usually dark mask's right eye shifted, unamused yet entertained by this. "Oh really now?" he tilted his head towards the right for a little bit.

"And what moves are you talking about, Michael?" Beelzebub questioned, confused.

"Well, I don't think that the celestial army knows this but I have a moves called "the Shredder!"" he whipped his chains around but he ends up on his butt upon doing so in a twirl. "A-And then I call this the-" He then created a staff from thin air, using the Light within him thanks to Azazel's teachings. "The Flare of Death!" he spun and twirled around the place, the so-called "The Flare of Death" does not include fire, it is just Michael swinging a hard-light stick around like a club before stopping for a moment to look around as if he was facing an invisible enemy.

"I am sure our enemies will run away before they could even face you." Lucifer mused, before long he looked somewhere unimportant. until, his expression shifted to worry and fear right away as he saw something. He lets out a startled gasp. "We are being invaded! They are coming for us!"

Michael had stopped his self-imposed battle play, his staff vanishing into thin air, his fire on his head shifted into pale yellow color, color of fear. As he ran towards to hid behind Beelzebub who looked ready to attack whoever had invaded Heaven as he shouted "Where!?" Upon a sight he caused, Lucifer could only chuckled at this sight, he was relaxed as usual. His personal guard and younger brother looked at him, confused. It took Beelzebub a good moment to realize what is happening. Lucifer had tricked them, and tricked them good. "Typical." Lucifer scoffed, crossing his arm around his waist, leaving one to cover where his mouth should be. Michael poked out from behind Beelzebub once he realized what had happened as well, he chuckled nervously. "You..." he started to say. "You got me good, actually." Lucifer lightly chuckled.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

"What do you think the Father is doing now?"

Lucifer turned to his personal guard, Beelzebub, who was created long before the birth of the special cherubs known as the Archangels. Basically he was somewhat curious on what plans now for the future.

"I am more curious as you, Beelzebub." Lucifer answered slightly, simply shrugged his wings for a little. "The reason why the Father wanted my help in creating them is unknown to both of us. But afterwards, He had spoke that He will be postponing any births of our people and spheres for a few months until He declared Himself feels refreshed enough to continue." He trailed off, looking at the ceiling of his chambers.

"I can not help but feel that I am somewhat justified."

"What do you mean, Lucifer?"

"I had expressed concerns that His Light will run out if he continues on making more. Think of it as you need clay to make more. And more to the extent of nearly running out." Lucifer looked at his friend once again. "Except the clay is a part of you, and you kept using it until you've nearly have exhausted your body. To the point of burning out."

This weighs on Beelzebub for a long while, turning over each word the Light Bringer had told him. Endless vs. Limited. He wasn't sure which to pick.

"You think that He-?" "I wanted to believe Him but I think it is best that we must let the Father rest for now." Lucifer rationalized, shaking his head with his eye closed, waving his hand a little moment. "He truly needed it the most."

Beelzebub looked at Lucifer, then a mischievous thought came into thought. "Much like you wanted to with me by your side?"

Lucifer's flames flared with a slight red and pink hue with widen eye out of embarrassment and shock. "Beelzebub!"

Lucifer's guard raised his hand to his helm to cover the non-visible mouth to stifle a chuckle. Ever since he was born, since he had gotten to know the Morningstar himself, he knows EXCATLY how to ruffle his feathers. Lucifer is adorable in this way that he blushes.

Cute even.

Beelzebub then waved his hand dismissively.

"I am only joking, Lucifer."

[skimmingmilk]

d and y for ask game perhaps?

D: What’s the most personal fanfic you’ve written?

This is a tough one... It's hard to pinpoint what makes a fic more personal than another. There are personal elements in all my fics, a piece of myself in each of them. But I think I have at least one that stands out for every major fandom I've been in for the past decade.

Two Roads in the Woods (Over the Garden Wall) - I hadn't written in years, I was severely depressed, recently laid off, and in crushing debt. Then I watched Over the Garden Wall for the first time in 2014, and then I started writing. Writing that fic saved me, posting it gave me a reason to wake up and get something done. It gave me purpose, as silly as it might seem. I don't think I'd be writing today if it wasn't for that fic. It's the only one I've never reread because I need it to stay just as I remember it.

Divine Restorations & Repairs (Good Omens) - I co-wrote this with one of my best friends, sylwritesstuff, and it was truly a labor of love for both of us. I won't speak for Syl, but for me, a lot of my own personal experiences with abusive relatives and self-worth were woven into the story and it was very cathartic to resolve some of that in the text through multiple characters.

Where Water Wears Away the Stone (Sonic the Hedgehog) - I think if this fic hadn't been written when it was, it would've been the original Picket Fence trilogy that was most personal to me because that was a story I've wanted to tell since I was a child and it opened the floodgates to more writing than I could've imagined and new friends and community. However, Water Wears Away was the first major project I finished after a debilitating injury that left me bedridden for months and was the catalyst for my chronic pain being an every day struggle instead of just an occasional one. I was exhausted and always medicated, writing was a serious struggle. I didn't know if I'd be able to be as prolific as I'd been because I just didn't have the energy anymore. But this fic was not only a success, it was hard to write. There was so much action and hardly any dialogue, which isn't my strong suit, but I'm so proud of how it turned out. Because once I finished that, I knew I could finish anything <3 And Sonic's personal journey ended up making me so emotional in ways I didn't expect... just that pivotal moment where he realized how much Tails actually meant to him. He wasn't just a tagalong until something better came along. He made everything better.

Y: What are your thoughts on your personal satisfaction with something you’ve written vs. the popularity of your stories?  Do you tend to be most satisfied with your most popular stories?  

No, it's so funny! Most of the time my popular stories take me entirely by surprise xD "Sometimes the Picket Fence Isn't Perfect" is one of the few where it feels like my pride and its popularity are evenly matched, but like... "Sharing is Caring" has only been out for two months are already had more kudos than "Where Water Wears Away the Stone," and the latter is one of my all-time favorites. Not saying I'm not proud of Sharing is Caring or that it doesn't deserve the attention its gotten, but Water Wears Away has been out for almost a year and a half, so I just expected it'd have taken longer for the former to catch up, you know?

And then "Little Gestures" being so popular is always a shock for some reason xD

But I feel like this happens in every fandom I've been a part of. I never expected "Wishful Thinking," my Thanksgiving one shot for Over the Garden Wall, to be my most loved fic on AO3 ever, but it is! It was just a prompt request I took 10 years ago, but it consistently gets love all these years later. Whenever I get a comment for an OtGW fic, I'm like, "It's Wishful Thinking, isn't it?" xD

I'm starting to learn and accept that the fics I put the most effort into aren't always going to reap the most rewards, and that I can't possibly pretend to predict what's going to resonate with people. And that's perfectly okay~

Thank you! <333

[stay-armycrtz]

Sugar and spice- with everything nice

I am officially back! I've been away for a longg time and am now officially putting my work back out there! I've moved over from my Styles account and am now here- mad crazy for everything Kpop and my boys! 

You'll soon be able to see which fandoms I'm mad about and I will also make a new master list- as soon as I figure out how to work this app again! 

Without further ado! Here's Sugar and spice- with everything nice. Bang Christopher Chan version! 

--------------

Y/N shoves another tray of chocolate chip muffins into her beloved oven, slamming the door closed with a huff once the tray was placed down on the shelf. The noise that squeezes it was past her lips borders on a small growl and her normally well loved kitchen shivers in response to the noise. Y/N moves away from the oven and leans over the kitchen counter, placing her head in her hands and massaging at her temples- the ever present headache she’d had since her and Chan had started arguing had slowly been getting worse. These are not the sounds she usually makes in her kitchen, never banging and huffing around. Y/N’s happy place has always been her kitchen, it’s somewhere she smiles without even realising it, where she sways her hips to the beat of Stray Kids or 3RACHA songs without even realising what she’s doing, all the while food sizzles in pans and delicious smells flood their home.

Today, Y/N is anything but happy. Today, Y/N’s face is pinched up into a permanent scowl rather than the happy/pleased smile she usually wears in her kitchen. No music plays and even if it did Y/N was in absolutely no mood to be dancing around the kitchen. Not a single word had worked it’s way past her lips since Chan has left hours ago.

She’s just wasting time. She knows exactly what she’s doing- there’s papers sitting in her desk in her office. Papers that she really should be grading- her student are eventually going to need them back. But here she stands, glowering at her kitchen instead. Baking. Angrily. Any chance that she may have had at focusing at her work was long gone, and had been- the second that they had started fighting.

“Oh, I could kill him,” Y/N growls into the quiet of the room as she snatches up the mixing bowl she had just finished using, she looks down at the bowl, debating if she could be bothered to clean them again. She shakes her head, deciding to just get another one from the cupboard by the sink. She had several sets for this purpose- well, not this purpose- so that she can keep baking, without needing to constantly clean, for special occasions like Christmas or their birthdays. Chan has always made sure that she had loads of baking equipment to use.

Y/N drags another set of bowls out from the cupboard and places them on the side to start mixing together another batch of cake batter. This time she decides she’s going to use dark chocolate because she knows that Cham prefers milk chocolate. He had always preferred the milk over any other kind of chocolate.

It’s not very often that her and Chan fight, it’s not. But when they do… they can be ridiculous, sometimes their fights only last a few house, sometimes days. This time it’s the latter kind of fight. Y/N’s not even sure where Chan is right now, she thinks he’s probably at the gym, more than likely he’s at the studio. Those are the places that he usually goes when he storms off, it’s Chans own way of clearing his head- just like the kitchen usually is for Y/N.

When Y/N’s phone vibrates on the kitchen counter, she snatches it up- uncaring of the flour that she’s getting all over the device, only to realise that the notification is another email from one of her students asking about one of the assignments. Not a single message from Chan, he’s being stubborn now, not even texting her to let her know where he is and when exactly he plans on showing his face and actually coming home. To be fair, Y/N’s being exactly the same, she hasn’t messaged Chan all day either. And she certainly isn’t going to be the first one to cave and give in, she’s not going to be the first one to message him. She throws her phone back onto the counter and moves back to the cake batter, she picks the bowl up and starts spooning the batter into cake cases, waiting to be able to put them into the oven.

Y/N decides that since she’s done everything else from scratch she might as well make the frosting for the cakes from scratch as well, it’ll take longer- not that the frosting will take long to make, it’s just a little extra time she doesn’t have to think the argument she’s having with Chan. The fact that the frosting only takes an extra 10 minutes to make frustrates her to no end, and she slams the spatula that she had been using down on the counter. It’s really not fair, the spatula and her poor kitchen hadn’t done anything wrong and here she was, taking her frustrations out on her kitchen.

She’s in the middle of frosting the first batch of cakes when she hears the front door open. Y/N actually feels how her spine stiffens and she turns her body just enough that she can’t see him coming down the hallway. She can tell that it’s Chan regardless on if she can see him or not, the sound of his front door keys hitting the glass bowl to the side of the door and the sound of him slipping of his shoes- them being left to lay in a semi neat pile just inside as familiar as her own breath.

Y/N glances up, listening out over her shoulder for Chan in the hallway, she can hear him coming, he’s walking slower than he normally would, and he doesn’t even stop or say anything when he enters the kitchen. Anger wells up in Y/N chest, the silent treatment that they had with each other had finally reached its limit, for her anyways.

“Are you kidding me?” Y/N shouts as she spins around to look at Chan, her jaw set tight as she clenches her teeth, her small fists clenched down at her sides. “Not a single word?”

Chan, earphone in his ears, just stands there for a few seconds, staring at her. Just like Y/N thought he’d been at the gym, his gym bag sat near his feet, a small towel rapped around his neck, hair damp- Y/N’s going to assume his showered. Of course, he looks amazing, standing there all sexy, muscles bulging out of his gym shirt, hair ruffled. God damn Bang Christopher Chan for being so sexy when all Y/N wanted to do was be mad at him.

Before Chan even takes his earphones out of his ears, he shakes his head, “You didn’t say anything to me either Y/N,” he growls in response to her comment,

“And how exactly would you know,” she counters, he’s not wrong. She didn’t. “Maybe I did, how would you know when you had your earphones in!”

Chan blinks at her, shaking his head again, “You didn’t though, and I was only listening to some music,”

“That’s…” she huffs again, “That’s not the point and you know it!” She clenches her teeth again, fists clenching even tighter down by her legs, “And where have you been?” She questions back. Chan looks down at his gym clothes and then back at Y/N, as though the answer should’ve been obvious enough that she shouldn’t have needed to ask.

“The gym,” he grunts back, “I’m going to get changed,”

“And I suppose it would’ve killed you to pick up the phone and at least text me, or call?” She shouts at him before he can even move.

“It’s not like you called or texted me either is it Y/N!” Chan shouts right back,” You didn’t seem that interested in knowing where I was either,”

Chan’s right. Y/N knows that he’s right. He’s not right about Y/N not wanting to know where he was, she had wanted to at least know that. Y/N was very interested in knowing where he’d been the last couple of hours, she was just being stubborn- not wanting to cave and text him first. It was silly, she knows that. It was silly and immature, but Y/N’s sure as hell not going to admit that.

Y/N doesn’t know when she does it, hasn’t got a single clue why she picks one up but her hand reaches for a frosted cupcake and then all of a sudden she’s shoving it into Chan’s face. Chan gasps as the cupcake makes contact with his face, the cupcake crumbles to pieces and falls to his feet on the floor. Crumbs fall down onto the front of his t-shirt, the salted caramel frosting that Y/N had decided on smeared across his cheek down to his chin.

With the remains of a cupcake falling down his shirt, Chan just stands there, his mind not quite grasping what Y/N had just done. He’s half confused, not sure on what’s just happened and how the hell he’s meant to respond. Chan reaches up to wipe the frosting off his face but his hand never touches his skin to get rip of the sticky mess.

Y/N has absolutely no idea what in the hell made her decide to do that, she can’t take it back now, she’s not even sure if she would take it back. Chan’s reaction-or lack there of- is so funny that Y/N doubles over, laughing. She can’t help it, she definitely shouldn’t be laughing. It was extremely immature or her but she couldn’t help herself, and Chan didn’t look like he was finding the funny side of the whole situation.

“I’m…I’m so-“ Y/N stutters out, she can’t decide if she should wrap her arms around herself or cover her mouth to stop the flow of giggles from coming out. “I’m sorry, Chan! I don’t know what… I’m so sorry!”

Licking at his lips, Chan can taste some of the caramel frosting that she had decided to use, he nods his head slowing making his way towards her, his slow approach makes Y/N back up further into the kitchen, she’s really not sure what Chan’s response is going to be.

“Chan, no I…” Y/N doesn’t even know how she can explain what she just did, let alone try and justify it, if also doesn’t help matters that she’s still laughing. “It was funny! A little. You would’ve done the same thing!”

It takes Y/N’s back hitting the counter top on the other side of the kitchen for her to realise that Chan had backed her that far into the kitchen. Chan nods his head again, a little nod and a sarcastic little smirk works it’s way onto his face. Chan reaches behind Y/N, and before she can even realises what’s happening, a full measuring cup of flour is being poured over he head, falling into her hair and down onto her shoulder.

“OH!” She shrikes,

Chan steps back and crosses his arms, smirk still ever present on his beautiful face, “See? I can be funny too.”

Now as well as cupcake crumbs being all over the floor of her kitchen there was a whole measuring cup of flour, and now instead of what was genuine laughter coming from her mouth only moments before, Chans laughter was anything but.

For the exact same reason that Chan didn’t find it funny, Y/N doesn’t either. She can’t even remember why she found it so funny in the first place. And now, instead of just being angry at Chan, Y/N was seething. And instead of going about the argument in a mature adult way, she looks along her counter top for something that she can throw back at Chan. There’s still some left over cake batter in one of the mixing bowls on the counter top, just sitting there, just waiting for her to pick it up. Right there. Right where she was standing. Y/N scoops up a handful of batter and tries to fling it at Chan, only to have her hand caught mid-air, most of the cake batter ends up on the floor- joining the cake crumbs and flour- Chan does however, need to quickly jerk his head to the side to miss getting what’s left of the batter in his face. He gets some, but instead of getting it all, he only gets a small splatter of batter across his cheek, joining the already smeared frosting.

“What the hell has gotten into you today!” Chan asks, shaking his head as if that would remove some of the batter from his cheeks.

“You!” Y/N exclaims, pulling at her hand to try and get out of Chans hold, “You’ve gotten into me!”

“Yeah,” Chan huffs as he drops Y/N wrist and steps back away from her, “You wish,”

A gasp works it’s way up Y/N throat, squeezing past her lips, she’s not sure if it’s because of what Chan said, the way he said it, or if it’s even the way he let go of her hand and backed up. She all of a sudden doesn’t want what’s happening to carry on, she wants Chan to hold her. Not even 2 seconds ago she was trying her hardest to get out of his grip, but now, she’d give anything to be back in his arms. To hell with this argument, she doesn’t care who’s right or wrong, Y/N just wants this to be over.

Chan’s whole attitude has shifted too, it’s subtle- but it’s there. His eyes has softened and his lips are now slightly turned down into a frown instead of pressed together in a hard line. His entire posture, instead of trying to get away from Y/N, seems just about ready to comfort her, or seek some form of comfort from her.

They both stand there, staring at each other- Chan’s face covered in frosting and cake batter, and Y/N covered in flour, cake batter dripping from her hand. All of a sudden Y/N’s throwing her self into Chan’s arms- or Chan’s lunging at her- either way, there both a complete and utter mess, and all over each other.

Messy hands and all, Y/N gets a tight grip on Chan’s hair and pulls him closer to her, her legs moving up to wrap around his, Chans hands fitting snugly around her ass. It doesn’t even matter that their making each other even messier, the combination of cake batter, flour and frosting getting everywhere. Y/N would spend everyday like this, if she could.

“Oh my god,” Y/N groans against Chans lips, already breathless, “you taste amazing, Chan,”

“Mmh,” Chan’s hands grip Y/N’s ass even tighter, lifting her up a little higher so her legs can wrap around his waist completely, “cause’ your baking is amazing,”

Y/N huffs a small laugh into their next kiss, “Not what I meant,”

Chan laughs back, “I know, still the truth though,”

Y/N no longer in the mood for their arguing, shrugs her shoulders, allowing Chan to move backwards in the kitchen and drop her onto the counter. She complains at this, all of her measuring cups, bowls and bags of different ingredients go crashing to the floor.

“My cakes!” She shouts, “watch my cakes,”

Chan nods his head, even as he begins to draw Y/N top up and off her body, only stopping to answer her when the offending piece of clothing is up and off her body, dropped onto the floor.

“I can see your cakes,” he growls back at her, voice heated. “Now stay still,”

A small whimper falls from her lips, goosebumps rise all over her skin, even with the whole house being nice and toasty with all of the baking that she had been doing all day. Y/N can’t help it, not with way that Chan’s talking to her. Chan drags his fingers down her throat and front, his fingers grazing over her nipples through the lace of her bra and she arches into his touch, her whole body coming alive.

Chan leans down, licking at the skin above the top of her bra, Y/N can feel how wet she’s becoming. Her whole core tingling, wanting Chan to touch her. Needing Chan to touch her. Chan reaches up behind Y/N and unclasps her bra, it falls lose around her tits and Chan drags it down completely, it swiftly joining her top on the floor. Chan starts mouthing at her chest, the skin rolled between his lips, his teeth lightly grazing over her nipple, just enough for her to arch her whole body into his touch, her core clenching and flooding with wetness.

Y/N reaches out and grips Chan’s chin, pulling him up and slamming her lips to his, a resounding moan works it’s way past Chan’s lips as Y/N works her way down his neck, mouthing and nipping at the skin she can reach from her position on the counter. There’s already pretty red marks blooming underneath the skin that she’s nibbling on. Chan let’s out a small whimper, Y/N pulling him closer so she can grind down on his leg, trying her absolute hardest to get some form of friction against her core.

“Fuck,” Chan groans into her ear, “gonna fuck you right here... right in your kitchen,”

Of course he is. And of course Y/N wants him too, wants him to take her where she sits. And she sure as hell isn’t going to say anything to stop Chan’s train of thought or argue with him.

There close enough now that when Y/N slips her hand down Chan’s front her hand automatically searches for his cock so she can wrap her hand around his head. She finds him quick enough, hand gripping him as he begins sucking his own marks into the skin of her neck. Chan had always loved marking her up, loved seeing the small round marks all over her skin.

Y/N’s fingers work over Chan’s head, his eyes widening, mouth going slack, his groans and whimpers muffled into the skin of her neck. Y/N grins at his response a small huff of a laugh working its way out of her mouth. Chan’s own lips curl up into his own smirk when he looks up at her.

“You think your funny, don’t you?” He grins at her, Y/N shrugs her shoulders in response, “I think you’re a brat,”

Chan reaches up and tugs at the hair at the base of her neck, pulling her head so that she’s looking up at him. Chan bends down and starts sucking on her neck again, nibbling at the skin. No doubt leaving even more marks that Y/N will most likely flush over when she looks at herself in the mirror later.

“Chan… daddy,” Y/N groans, it sounds more like a whine, both to her ears and Chan’s, “I…”

“You what, Y/N?”

There is not a single word or response that Y/N can think of that is an appropriate answer to what Chan is asking. She does however know that she can do more for Chan than just sitting in the kitchen counter looking pretty, kissing at his neck, but as soon as she tries to slide of the counter top to get down on her knees in front of him, Chan grips at her hips to keep her positioned on the counter.

“Where do you think your going?” Chan asks as soon as she tries to move herself of the counter top, “I thought I told you to stay still?”

Without even waiting to hear what she has to say in response, Chan’s yanking at her leggings, pulling them down her legs with enough strength that Y/N has to lean back and grip the edge of the counter so that she doesn’t fall off. Once the legging were down her legs they also get thrown into the collected pile of her clothes on the floor. Chan bends down and bites up her thighs, being less than gentle about the marks he was probably leaving. Chan reaches the apex of her thigh and noses at her through her panties, breathing in deeply, he groans deep in his chest at her scent.

“You smell so good baby,” Chan groans into her skin, he pulls her panties to spine side and runs his tongue up her centre to her clit, Y/N whines, her head falling back, hitting the cupboard behind her head. Chan’s still bent down, head buried in her core, tongue still running up and down, trying to taste as much of her as he can. Chan lifts his head, still tonguing at her and smirks at how wrecked she looks. Huffing out a laugh at how quickly he was able to bring her to the edge in such a short amount of time. Y/N grins back at him, her hand training down and gripping in his hair, pulling him up her body and slamming her lips against his, letting her tongue explore his mouth. Tasting herself in Chan’s mouth she slides her way down the counter, her body grinding against Chan’s the whole way down so that she’s standing next to Chan.

The second Y/N’s feet touch the floor, the second before she can sink down onto the knees in front of him and get Chan’s delicious cock into her watering mouth, Chan’s turning her around and shoving her over the counter she was just sitting on. Bending her over so her ass is sticking out, he lands a quick swat to her left cheek.

“Don’t even think about moving pet,” Chan growls out as he bends down to bite at the skin on the base of her neck, Y/N groans, her pussy flooding with so much wetness she’s pretty sure she can feel it leaking down her thighs.

“Don’t wanna,” Y/N whines back at Chan, attempting to stand back up, she doesn’t get very far before Chan is shoving her back down- holding her there this time- and landing two more smacks to her ass, he growls, really not in the mood for her to be even a little disobedient right now.

“Stay fuckin’ still. I mean it Y/N,”

There’s already bring red hand marks blossoming across the cheek where Chan had decided to spank her, he doesn’t mind – neither does she- clearly loving the expense of red marks that he’s leaving against her beautifully pale skin. Y/N whimpers, legs shaking as Chan slowly drags his hands over the marks,

“See baby, all you had to do was listen,” he coos, she knows by the tone of his voice his not the least bit sorry about the marks on her skin, “just listen, and then daddy wouldn’t have had to spank you,”

She knows he’s right. He’d probably been right all along, this however, is the only situation that she would willingly agree with him,

“Know daddy, didn’t wanna though,” she murmurs back to him.

“I’m fully aware of that fact let,” Chan says into her skin, his hand gently running over her soft ass, “are you going to listen now?” He question, his grip slacking that was still holding her down.

“Yes. Please,” she whines back, pushing her ass out into his hand, Chan lowers his hand, just enough that his fingers are running over her sopping core, she whines again, pushing harder so that his fingers push into her.

“Oh god,” Y/N whines again when Chan moves his down to push against her opening, “Chan…”

Chan responds by shoving his fingers into her, pulling yet another wine out of her mouth, this only makes Chan shove his fingers in harder, faster. Once again bringing her close to the edge she was tethering on earlier.

Chan keeps it up, shoving his fingers in and out of her, working his way up to two before she even realises what his doing. Y/N whines and groans, trying her hardest not to buck down against his hand- which is really difficult considering the fact that every few thrusts of Chans fingers, he drags the across the spot inside her that makes her toes curl and almost fall over the edge she so desperately wants to.

“Fuck! Fuck,” she almost screams, “right there! Please daddy! Right there,” Y/N turns her head to the left, Chan see this and gives her exactly what she wants, shoving his tongue into her mouth and kissing her so hard that she doesn’t even realise that his fingers have slipped out of her and he’s working in shoving his cock inside her.

She screams into the kiss, eyes snapping open as she’s stretched around his huge cock. Chan keeps her hips still, still kissing her lips as he begins to thrust away at her core, pulling almost the whole way out before he’s shoving his cock back inside, all the way down to the base, his hips pressed up against her red ass. She whines, mouth falling open as tears worm their way past her eyes falling down her cheeks she has never felt this good.

“Good pet,” Chan groans in her ear, hand moving up to grip at her throat, he squeezes slightly. Not enough to cut of her air, just enough that she can feel his hand. Just enough that she wants.

“Holy fuck,” she whimpers back, “god yes, daddy.”

Chan snaps his hips faster, he can feel how wet she is. Can feel it practically dripping down her thighs and onto the floor. This makes Chan groan, makes him realise that his release is some much closer than he thought.

“Come on baby, come for daddy,” he reaches down, his fingers rubbing at her clit as he still relentlessly pounds away at her core, chasing his own release so they can come together.

Y/N comes, her whole world shattering behind her eyes as she creams on Chans cock, his following her over, shoving his cock so deep and hard inside her it lifts her off her toes. He comes so much it overflows, his mess joining hers on her thighs and the mess on the floor.

——

They end up on the floor, both curled around each other, sitting amongst the mess of cake batter, flour, crumbs and all of Y/N’s baking equipment. All of which is waiting to be picked up, dusted off and out back into its rightful place in her now once again happy kitchen.

“Didn’t hurt you did I?” Chan whispers into her ear after a few minutes of them lying together, basking in their glow together. He’d taken his shirt of- god knows when- considering it was covered in a multitude of different things, and Y/N runs her hands down his stomach.

“No,” Y/N grins back up at him.

“Good, Y/N… I… I’m so sorry, I should-“

“No Chan! Please, it was my fault,” Y/N interrupts his talking, “it really was my fault,”

She stops talking, their quite with each other, calm. And for a few moments they just lay there, wrapped around each other. Y/N snuggles down closer into Chans chest, and they sit and do absolutely noting. She hopes their done fighting now, she definitely is.

“Hey Y/N,”

Y/N turns her head, looking Chan in the eyes, nodding her head and waiting for him to ask his question.

“Do you?… do you remember why we were fighting?” He asks, face scrunched up into beautiful confusion.

Y/N pulls the exact same face, racking her brain to see if she can remember what had been the cause of all of this, “No. No I don’t.” She states, almost as though it’s a question.

“Yeah,” Chan murmurs, his eyes widening slightly, a small smile working its way onto his face, “me neither,”

They sit there, looking at each other. Matching looks on both their faces, and then suddenly their laughing. Grasping at each other as giggles work past their lips. Eventually they both decide they should get up and get themselves and her poor kitchen clean. Y/N turns off the oven, the cakes that she had been cooking were most definitely ruined by now- she’ll make new ones anyways, this time with milk chocolate instead of dark just to make sure that Chan eats them. They both walk naked towards the stairs, Chan insisting that they get themselves clean and dry before they attempt to clean her ruined kitchen.

“Hey Chan?” Y/N murmurs, being up to kiss the corner of his mouth, Cham hums out his response. “We should solve all of our problems like this from now on,” he laughs head thrown back slightly, eyes creasing shut. He smacks her ass and she squeals in answer, her ass still sore from the slight spanking that she had gotten earlier. Y/N speeds up a little, almost running up the stairs to the bathroom, and into the shower, hers and Chans laughter fill the now happy house, the argument they had long forgotten.

-----------------

AHHHH!!!! 

She’s back!!! 

Let me know what you think! Missed you!

Dari! 

[jjksimp]

Hanging out with them for the first time

A few hours later, both Izumi and Setsuka were starting to get tired of unpacking. Setsuka decided to take a break and picked her phone to see what time it was. As she checked her phone, she saw some texts from Panda and Izumi in their family group chat:

Izumi was the first to arrive in the common room. As she came in, the group greeted her and invited her to join them around the table. Izumi sat between Maxi and Toge, leaving an empty place for Setsuka next to Nobara and Megumi. The first thing she noticed when she entered the room was the delicious aroma surrounding the place!

“It really smells amazing!I’m soooo hungry”, claimed Izumi.

“Is your cousin coming? We’re starving!”,wondered Maki.

“I guess so.. she said she’d be on her way as soon as she finishes her last boxes..”  At the same moment, Setsuka came in and exclaimed: “wow it smells so good in here!! I’m so hungry I could eat an elephant, sorry for the wait  by the way I really wanted to unpack as much as I could today!” 

“Well I hope you’ll settle for chicken”, said Megumi.

“Oh-Oh my god Megumi.. D-did you attempt to make a joke?? HAHAHAHA oh god Fushiguro, since when are you such a clown HAHAHAHAHA”, cried Nobara. 

“Tsk, shut up”

With Megumi’s reaction, everybody bursted out laughing. 

“Is it ready yet?”, asked Nobara.

“Salmon, Salmon”, confirmed Toge.

“ALRIGHTY, let’s dig in”, said Izumi excitedly! 

“WOW!! These meatballs are great!! Who made them?”, asked Maki. 

“Oh, I did.” announced Fushiguro. 

“Mustard leaf”

There was a moment of silence as they were all surprised to learn that Megumi could cook so well, then Nobara broke it with: “You can cook for yourself? Not really surprising, actually.”

“No, Itadori taught me how to make these..” 

“I see”, answered Nobara with sadness written all over her face. 

Before she could stop herself Setsuka asked: “Who’s Itadori?” 

“He was a 1st year.. Sukuna’s vessel.. he passed away a few days ago..” replied Panda. 

 “He was a good friend.. He deserved better..” added Megumi, his eyes glistening. 

“I’m really sorry.. I didn’t know..”

“It’s fine.. How could you have known?”, replied the latter with a sad smile. 

“To Yuji!” , cheered Nobara. 

They continued their meal in silence until Maki broke it with a question: “ So why were you two sent to Kyoto if you’re Yaga’s daughters?” 

“hmmm actually it was a punishment.. The elders sent us there because we were slacking off and not taking the whole sorcerer thing seriously..”, explained Izumi.

“It wasn’t Yaga’s decision though.. They said it was too risky to have us not trained properly.. as if we were dogs, tsk.” added Setsuka. 

“Why did the elders get involved tho? I’m pretty sure you were not the only two curse-users that didn’t care much about the whole sorcerer thing?” questioned Megumi.

“Salmon”, Inumaki said, curious. 

“For real Panda, are you ashamed of us? How come you never talked about us to your friends?” complained Izumi. 

Before Panda tried to reject Izumi's claims, Setsuka retorted: “For starter, we were supposed to be executed with our family when we were young and Yaga made a contract with them to spare our lives. Secondly, it might be because we’re Special-grades users. I guess it was too risky to let us do whatever we wanted.. anyway that’s what we deduced from what we've heard.. They never really explained anything to us” 

Everybody but Panda looked at them with wide eyes: “SPECIAL GRADES?? YOU’RE KIDDING RIGHT??”, said Maki.  

“Salmon Salmon”

“Show us your student IDs!!”, demanded Nobara. 

“See, that’s why I barely talked about you two.. No one would have believed me..” said Panda, bummed out. 

As they showed their IDs to their new classmates, they could see the astonishment on their faces: “Wow, they were actually telling the truth.” gasped Nobara. 

“Of course we were!Why would we lie about something like that? flexing nonexistent skills are not really our thing.”. Setsuka was annoyed. 

“Oh Tonkatsu, you know they didn’t mean it that way. We don’t exactly look that strong and you know it!”, scolded Izumi. 

“I guess” grumbled Setsuka.

“We’re glad to have you on our sides then” laughed Maki

“Yeah well we won’t go berserk in the inter-school event either.. We're gonna keep it low profile” said Izumi. 

“Igura?”

“Yeah why?” followed Megumi. 

“Let’s just say that we have.. limitations.. We’re not allowed to use our full powers.. Because of the contract you know” 

“Kinda like Yuta at first” explained Panda. 

“I mean even then, we can still hold our own in hand-to-hand combat and our cursed techniques are still on point”, pressed Izumi “I even won against Todo once”, added the latter with a smirk.

“Izu, we’ve been through this already, that pea-brain let you win back then.”

“No he didn’t, I won fair and square!! Setsuka insists that Todo has a soft spot for me so he let me win on purpose back then, but that’s simply impossible! Todo is not that kind of guy .”

“If you say so, Izumi. Let’s just say that I never won against him, but that you never won against me either, which means we're equally strong” 

“Alright girls, let’s spar tomorrow then! We’ll see what you’ve got!”, defied Maki, winking.

[dsandrvk]

Thursday, August 15 - Wayag Islands

We tried to fit as much into today as possible, and pretty much succeeded. We had signed up for a kayak trip today, which was leaving at 10:45, so had time to do the first Zodiac trip of the day at 7:45, even though it wasn't our "color group". We had to get up at dawn for it to happen, but we are at the equator (actually just north here at our positioning - we can't anchor, so just use GPS and thrusters to keep in place). As a result, first light is quickly followed by full day, and by our launch time it was already warm and sunny.

We were lucky to have Jess as our Zodiac driver, and she and fellow expedition staffer Peter told us a lot about the rock formations here. Although things can look vaguely volcanic, everything here is actually limestone, laid down and compressed eons ago. Between the natural fault lines and the slightly acidic sea and rain, the rocks have been worn down, leaving these wonderful mounded islands. Further erosion from the sea has also led to the undercutting of these islands, leaving lots of "mushroom" rocks. Here the tide is only about a meter or two, so much of the erosion happens during the cyclone season.

The bare karst rocks have over the years become thriving plant communities, in some ways similar to our desert southwest, where plants will use every trick to gain a foothold in what seems to be bare rock, gradually adding to create soil through decomposition, and then stretching their roots to find soil and nourishment and growing straight and tall to seek the sunlight. Although our weather was beautiful, the seas were quite choppy and we had a fairly bouncy ride from the ship into the lagoon, but once there it was smooth and lovely. The combination of the dark rocks, intense greenery and turquoise and aquamarine waters made for a colorful trip, and we even saw little bits of purple orchids clinging tenuously to the rocks.

After a couple of hours we were back on board the ship and ready to do it all again, this time from a kayak. We took another Zodiac back to a beach we hadn't seen before and had a couple of hours to paddle around the different formations. We were lucky in that everyone was an experienced paddler and so we were able to cover a lot of ground (or water). We paddled under some of the undercuts and through narrow channels, before finally finishing on a different beach where we took a swim before heading back to the ship. In the intense sun, we are trying to keep mostly covered, so the picture of me is in my sopping wet outfit.

After lunch we once again took a Zodiac out to a reef to snorkel over to a Zodiac platform, looking for lots of fish and critters. I saw a couple of anemone fish (Nemo types - also called Clownfish) next to an amazing coral shaped like a perfect sphere with little patterns. Unfortunately, my water camera has malfunctioned and although it was closed properly, it still managed to leak, so it appears to be "dead in the water", and has most likely fried the SD card that had my first two days of incredible snorkeling on it, so no pictures now or probably in the future. Things happen.

The snorkeling, while wonderful, was not quite as clear as it had been at Gam Island yesterday, but the latter is considered one of the best in the world, so that's an unfair comparison. There are so many types of coral here, and so many fish, that I could have snorkeled for hours, but we only had 45 minutes in the water, and then had our 6th Zodiac ride of the day through the choppy waves. Splashing wasn't a problem since it's plenty warm, and we were wet already.

We finished off our day with a recap and preview for tomorrow and decided to go up to the club for a sushi dinner, which was delicious and relaxing. Tomorrow we are going to another set of karst (limestone) islands, but while similar, they are more eroded into fanciful shapes, and also uninhabited (like today) except for a few diving camp/resorts. We have signed up for another kayak outing in the late morning, so will get up early to do the first Zodiac at 7:45 again. It will be an early to bed night!

[ilaiyayaya]

Finally Another Long Schizo-post, Been Too Long

Fuck I need to stop making everything a draft again and like actually post things, this blog exists for a fucking reason, and that reason is only partially for awawa_happy.mp4. I need to stop fucking reverting back into neet-mode every time I somewhat open up I literally made this to have an outlet to more easily prevent that.

Fuck I effectively went back into isolation again without even realizing it. In the last 6 months I have barely left my house outside of going to work and occasionally buying groceries, and I've even been buying groceries less frequently specifically because I've become afraid to go out in public most days again. Even when I do go somewhere now I more often than not spend like 30 minutes just sitting in my car trying to calm my nerves before going inside and it wasn't until today that I noticed I'd consistently been doing that again recently. Around August my car was broken for nearly 2 months and because of that I wasn't really able to go anywhere non-essential during that time, and I feel like that's probably what's started this downward spiral, before then I'd pretty consistently went somewhere fun every other weekend, and uhhh now I don't do that ever at all. It definitely didn't help that a few weeks ago I was stuck in my house for an entire week due to snow, and that was not a fun week, I think I may have actually been traumatized from being stuck in isolation for years before because within a single day of that week I was breaking. I really need to find the motivation to actually go out and do something more frequently again, it'd probably be a lot healthier than just rotting away at home.

In general I've felt a lot more anxiety-ridden recently, and the last month especially has been like, really bad. For as long as I can remember, usually my mental state fucking plummets around the holidays, but it always rebounds pretty quickly around January, that did not happen this year, very fucked up. I don't even know why exactly I've felt so shit this month, like there have been a few bad things happen but like, nothing more than like the average of most months, and a lot worse things happened in the latter months of last year than this past month. Like, my job's been even more hellish than usual recently, but like, outside of work I can't really pinpoint much, and I've literally been feeling worse on days where I'm off than when I'm at work so like, I don't think it's only that. But yea anyways anxiety bad, I've been a lot more nervous and irritable lately and that's not really fun, and I have a lot of weird, bad habits I do when I'm nervous like running my hands through my hair or biting myself that I've been doing way more recently and like, my hands hurt, I literally have a light bite mark on my wrist right now and I wasn't even conscious I was biting my wrist until I started thinking about writing this.

Lalala work bad I hate work, work fucking SUCKS right now. There's like double the people there normally are and that's gonna remain the case for the next month at least and it's too fucking loud and people are scary and it's too fucking cold. Actually I think I figured out one of the reasons I feel like shit even on my days off recently, my schedule fucking sucks right now, I'm not even working that many hours but every week I'm alternating between having to wake up at like 6 a.m. and having to be at work at like nearly midnight and it's massively fucked up my sleep schedule and now I've just been eeping in like 2 hour intervals at completely random times throughout the day and I constantly feel eepy and some days I sleep like 1 hour and other days I sleep like 15 and I feel exhausted either way and now that I'm thinking about being eepy I'm getting eepy honk shoo honk shoo hoooonk mimimi that's a lie I'm not eeping I can't eep until I finish writing this otherwise I'll forgor everything I was gonna write zzzzzzz.

Lalalalalalalalalalala bangs pans together really loudly to scare away the demons of self-consciousness (not to be confused with the angels of self-consciousness which are actually far worse). Dude being a girl is really cool and all but like whoever invented gender dysphoria is really actually not my friend (it was god, god did it, mods invert god's controls until he apologizes). Like I've always kinda hated myself in a lot of ways, and feeling dysphoric about my body especially is not at all a new thing, me being trans isn't even a new thing, but like with each passing month it just feels like it gets worse and this month was a big spike. Also I started slowly coming out to most of my friends like 6 months ago and most of them have been like relatively fine about it, but I've like kinda sorta maybe (?) sorta lost 2 friends and like 2 isn't a big number but it still feels pretty shit to have 2 people you considered friends, even if not super close friends, just stop talking to you completely. Anyways I don't know how to write about this kind of stuff without being too embarrassed or internally dying so no more gender talk BEGONE!!! maybe I'll eventually make a full post about it that I don't just keep as a roughdraft, someday.