#btw i used google translate so i am sorry if the translation is wrong

[pommepom]

fun fact! pomme was originally meant to be kidnapped by elquackity but due to problems regarding the timezones they replaced her with egg a1.

''Pomme was supposed to be kidnapped (and lose a life) at one point as well. but because everything was delayed, and it was already 2/3 a.m in france and i was explaining to them that FR streamers were tired and wanted to go to sleep, it was replaced by 'Egg A1'''

[sakuraharuno156]

Hi! So while normally I don't indulge in anti... I can't help it, it's fun XD People are so sensitive about some things, but anyway... I'm on board with you since I realized later in life that yeah, Sakura is absolutely brilliant and Hinata is... SO not. I can't say I enjoy her character one bit anymore after she's done nothing but disappoint me. BUT! What I wanted to let you know was something else that kinda pisses me off.

Now we know that it's obvious that Studio Bones and the animators have this insane and somewhat misogynistic favoritism towards Hinata (because's quiet, submissive and kind), given how much to flanderize Sakura's temper to make her look like that's all she is.

Well I think even whoever made the video games favor Hinata too. I used to play this old-ass game called Naruto: Ultimate Ninja 2. Very old lol but there were some joke/unique versions of characters.

Example: "Sealed Orochimaru" in reference to how he couldn't use any jutsu thanks to 3rd Hokage's Seal. And "Nine Tailed Naruto" with Naruto as the Nine Tailed Fox.

And then there's "Byakugan Hinata" I'm not kidding you, they have this... badass version of Hinata who is a competent fighter, has a strong disposition and seems to actually care about her status as a Hyuga. Even though in canon there hasn't been a single moment where Hinata's shown to be competent in fighting (she hasn't won a single battle in combat), strong (any bold moment was just so she could look cool in front of Naruto) or given a damn about her clan or her status given that she spends every moment on panels or screen gushing and thinking about Naruto.

Now here I am thinking... how pathetic is that?

That the creators of this game made up such a farfetched and dare I say fanfic-ed version of Hinata that you can find in any badly written fiction where Hinata is suddenly a badass when she's shown repeatedly in canon that she is NOT.

Hinata is no badass. She just isn't. I thought she had potential once upon a time, and then the fillers (which aren't canon) go out of their way to make her look badass when in canon, she isn't.

So it's not just the anime, the games were guilty of this too.

Okay I'm so sorry this got long lol, but I just thought it'd be neat to tell you this because it's a game many have forgotten because it IS pretty old lol. But... looking back on it, it disappoints me.

Sakura is the true badass female of Naruto. That's a fact.

Hey, there is nothing wrong with being an anti, as long as you are anti-fictional character and not anti-real preson, then you are good! 💕

So let me welcome you to the datk side, and let's go.

(BTW we clarified that it was supposed to say "studio pierrot", a mix-up, it happens ❤️)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

100% true and the worst part is that they don't see they do her an injustice.

Like studio pierrot made Hinata a healer:

But when it mattered she couldn't do anything, because she can't heal, so she looks just stupid.

Neji is dying? Better let him die. People are dying all around during war? Better not heal them because why would she? 🤷‍♀️

Or

They made her meet Naruto when they were children in The Last:

But then Naruto at 12yo calls her a "weirdo" or in that translation "a freak who won'teven look me in the eye"?

They make it seem like "she was always there for Naruto", but when Naruto is thinking about his first bonds she's nowhere to be found?

And I tried to like Hinata too, I even talked about it here, so i understand, but she's such an awfull character to be shown to younger audience that it's painful.

She's selfish and rude, her whole life revolves around a boy, her whole ambition is to be with Naruto and to cook and clean for him.

And now to the games, I had to Google it, because I haven't played it, but:

This is another injustice towards her, because it hypes her character out to be strong and hype her potential just to leave her weak and without accomplishing a thing.

And don't get me wrong, I know that games are supposed to allow the player to decide who wins and who loses based on players skills, but...

That game came out in 2004, by then the manga was at the end of OG Naruto, so looking at how the games are trying to portray her, we (as viewers or players) can assume that she will be strong someday, and yet she never was.

We were led to believe that her father will see her as strong and with "great potential", but Hanabi is still the one that will be the head of Hyuga clan, and Neji was the one who is the strongest (and we know it, it was stated).

"Surpassing the main branch" and "For the brilliant blood of the Hyuga to be flowing within a child who cannot become an heir what natural talent".

And then, Hiashi that had pure hatred (or at least the thought about them as a less than/slaves to main family) towards the branch PREFERRED TO TRAIN NEJI AND HINATA WAS THERE TO BRING THE TEA.

It's pure embarrassment. 🤷‍♀️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's an injustice to her character and I'M THE ONE WHO IS SAYING THIS, WHEN I HATE HER GUTS 🤷‍♀️

[ifaeree]

I don't know how to start (and sorry if I have any grammar or spelling mistakes, my english is not the best and I might use google translate to help if necessary). So... I honestly didn't have many expectations on this new game but I was like "let's see and decide" and at first I was really dissapointed because of the prices of the bank outfits and the VIP pass (which I am considering in purchaising only if I really love the outfit). But... I am enjoying the game at this point for these reasons:

1.- Taki

Taki was the reason I decide giving this game a chance because I love Eldarya and I always wanted the chance to dress the companions ( but it's understandable that it isn't possible since there are a lot of them). I know some players don't like Taki, but I really love him/her and I love it's sound and animations.

2. The messages

When I discover that the love interests where going to send messages to us after the episodes if we are up to date with them I was like "weeeeell, I supose I'm not receiving any messages since I am not planing on in-game purchasing so I might not be up to date with the episodes" (I was SO wrong btw).

I really love this because it give me a little of Mystic Messenger vibes, but I hate that there is a timer which ironically also reminds me of MM.

3. The games

- Style contest: I like it because I it as an opoortunity to get hearts, gems and APs -playing AND voting. I LOVE that we can share items to other players and vice versa. The only thing I don't like are the themes (they are the same always) and I am still trying to win "Green with envy" dressing my newcrette as Melody from the original MCL 😭

- The other game whose name I don't remember even in spanish: just to say i don't like that the times to wait are too long and that it makes me remember Eldarya and I am still sad because the game died T-T

4. Jason and Thomas

So... I was really interested in him before the game was released but I was dissapointed with some of his actions in the first four episodes. But I really love the 🌶️ tension in the last episode.

Anyway, I allready fell for Thomas and he is soooooo cute. i can't and will not betray him.

But... I am still interested in see what will happen with the ones who will choose to make a "deal" with Jason. And I really hope it ends in a really really REALLY bad ending. Because I really need that possibily of having a bad ending in the game. It makes the game for interesting (at least for me).

Anyway. That's all (I think). I am not used to use tumblr and I even forgot my password and had to change it.

Thank you so much @tetrakys for the opportunity to get the e-girl code. I think I am still in time...

And if not, I already wrote all this and it's not like I am going to just erase it, specially since I used every last neuron to remember all the english classes I took at school to write this.

Thank you again Tetra

Love you all

Good luck

And good luck everyone.

5. Room customization

Last but not less important (and I just remember xd)

I love that we can custom the room. This wasn't an option in the original MCL and in Eldarya we only have a background already made.

Now that's all.

Whoot whoot!

[leatherbookmark]

couldn’t help myself.

as usual, absolutely don’t quote me as a Specialist™ (or at all), because i am not one. there’s just something wrong with me and i like to dig around.

anyway, the “perfect” wgxn quote:

WiFi和汪叽都是非常理想的人格，人品上不会有太大争议，做主角最适合不过。我当然非常喜欢WiFi，但是如果要找男朋友，对不起我只要汪叽（。

and exr (i’m copying from a post that quotes it because i’m too lazy to look for the chapter directly myself):

Both WWX and LWJ are highly ideal characters, so there wouldn't be too much dispute on their moral standing. They're perfect as the protagonists. Of course, I do like WWX a lot, but if I'm looking for a boyfriend, sorry, I'll only have LWJ please.

okay. having all that, let’s go.

1. “highly ideal characters”

chinese: WiFi和汪叽都是非常理想的人格

now, disclaimer: i have japanese brain poisoning, and when i know a term in japanese and it occurs in chinese text, i’m probably going to understand it in its japanese meaning, and then go “...but just to make sure” and look it up in chinese.

THAT BEING SAID.

indeed there exists a 理想人格, and as baike baidu defines it and google translate translates, it’s “Ideal personality generally refers to the morally perfect model advocated by a certain society or class, and it is the image of perfect personality that people generally believe. It is the highest embodiment of the moral requirements and moral ideals of a certain society.“

HOWEVER i can’t help but notice that it’s not actually 理想人格, but rather 理想的人格. again, idk etc, but the former looks like a set Term, and the latter like an “adjectivey noun”. in this case, 理想 is the adjective and 人格 is the noun.

now, 理想 means “ideal, dream” (ideal both as in “the ideals of (some group)” and “ideal date/girlfriend”), and 人格 means personality/character; integrity; human dignity.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN THEN: i don’t know. you’d have to ask an actual chinese speaker, not me. i don’t know chinese, but i suspect that a lot can depend on context, just like in japanese; so i exr might be right, or perhaps i am right. i’m not arguing. maybe it really is about Moral Ideals and Integrity! or maybe it’s about characters having personalities that just Work, are fun, engaging and make fans post insane shit on tumblr dot com fall in love with them.

next,

2. “moral standing“

chinese: 人品.

now 人品, according to wiktionary (i’m using wiktionary for all definitions unless i say otherwise, btw), is: one’s character, especially the quality of it; one’s appearance, looks; and in modern internet slang: one’s luck.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN THEN: see above.

3. “perfect as the protagonists“

chinese: 做主角最适合不过.

“适合“ means to suit; to fit; to agree with. wiktionary’s examples include a color suiting someone (assuming: clothes) or spring in beijing being good for cycling.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN THEN: perhaps not as much “as protagonists, they’re perfect in every inch” but rather “they fit their protagonist roles greatly”.

if you put this whole quote into gtrans, you get “Both WiFi and Wang Ji are very ideal personalities. There will not be too much controversy about their personalities, and they are the most suitable protagonists“. of course, gtrans is definitely not the ultimate translator, but i’d just like to point out that there Can be a translation, even though it’s done by a machine, that doesn’t feature even one (1) instance of the word “moral”.

IN GENERAL, THOUGH: the exr translation is... sigh. sometimes i prefer it to teh official one (well, most of the times, because the official one is another can of worms and it’s 3am) because it’s concise and often opts for clarity and less words rather than keeping everything as it was and making things confusing in result. sometimes i notice mistakes or not really correct translations, but understand why those decisions were made. and sometimes there are mistakes that are simply baffling.

it’s not a perfect translation! it was done by a very young person, for fun and no profit, in their free time, and it seems they were in a hurry and didn’t really have a beta. so i really, really advise against using this translation for this like, close reading, focusing on every word and the placement of it in the text kinda interpretation -- the translation simply isn’t the one you can do that with. even if there was a professional translation, i still would be careful because chinese and english are Different languages; if you want it to be as similar to the original text as possible, you’re not going to get a nice, clean, pleasant read, and if you want a nice, clean, pleasant read that sucks you into the world and makes character sparkle with personality, you’re probably not going to get the most faithful translation in the world. it HAPPENS.

that one would use hastily translated a/n to preach to other fans is simply fucking hilarious. but anyway

4. boyfriend???

WHAT DOES IT-- listen, i don’t know. perhaps “moral standing” is important in terms of choosing a boyfriend, even amongst young people. okay, he’s hot, but what about his moooorals? (an euphemism is born.) i don’t know! i find it a bit weird for one to jump from something as heavy as being a morally perfect person to something as silly as “welllllll but if i had to pick a boyfriend between my two characters that i wrote... ;p”, but then i’m not chinese, i don’t know mxtx personally, etc, etc.

BUT i’m thinking that maybe she meant it less like “they’re role models for people to follow”, and more like... yknow, something a writer might say about their characters. that they’re fun to write and read about, to think about; that they’re well written. so for example, for me, a character that’s fun and well-written is one whose good traits are also their bad traits -- they’re smart, but too smart for their own good; they’re loyal, but that means they’re willing to support someone when they’re wrong/hurting others/hurting themself. this way, the characters’ problems aren’t easily solved, because they’d have to change a fundamental part of themself. it’s neat! it’s interesting! emotionally engaging! perhaps that’s what mxtx meant. and perhaps she also wanted to say that wgxn do have the ideals they want to follow, and in general they want to help people who need their help; probably their decisions don’t make the readers seriously hate them.

maybe! or maybe not, again, these are just my theories. i might be wrong, because maybe she actually Did mean their moral qualities! but, etc etc.

[opttagoyeo]

Are you Japanese? Btw thank you for translating the NaruHina doujin!!! I’ve always wanted to completely understand what our fellow Japanese NaruHina fans were conveying in their comic

To answer the first question.. I am sincerely sorry to say that I'm in no way shape or form a Japanese even just by blood. I'm purely not. But I'm an Asian person so I guess that suffice eh? (It's not).

As I always mentioned on my Naruhina Doujin posts, I'm crappy at translating since I only used either Papago, or Google Translate to help me quite understand the doujin and then in my own way tried to revise the translation by writing it on my own (which you shouldn't do and all since you must know the language fully). I only do this for fun and to nurture my skill cleaning and typesetting, so if you think me posting it is wrong— I do understand that too, and if it makes everyone uncomfortable I can take down the posts of my translated nh doujin. I am truly sorry.

To be honest, I didn't really expected that my very first translated nh doujin would get a lot of attention.. cause I really just want to do it as like a hobby.. for fun..

I just want to post it and let it out rather than let it be stuck on my gallery unattended.. anyways

I'm grateful that y'all still enjoy the Naruhina doujins, that's also the very first reason why I started translating them even without a knowledge in Japanese language, solely because I too, was a Naruhina fan and want to read these japanese fan comics in english to truly consume and enjoy them.

I badly want to translate a lot of NH doujin since it's already vacation but I just seriously can't for now because I'm quite busy this week and I just want to go to bed and binge a lot of fluffy Naruhina fics, but rest assured I might post someday (hopefully).

- from a potato nh fan!

[aviad1b]

"יש סיפור על אדם בשם חוני"

Every time I feel lost again, I find myself typing out these words. Sometimes, it'll be in Hebrew. Sometimes it'll be in English.

But always returning to this story, always viewing it from yet another angle and interpretation.

למה?

That... isn't really much of a question, actually. I already know the answer.

I made this account as a part of a community. A fanbase. A fanbase of a story that I felt like brought me back to childhood.

I felt that little me raise up once again, and I wanted to do justice to that little me. I wanted to re-do it. I wanted to recover again but this time do it the right way, this time I would do it the Right Way ™ and

and

.

It only makes sense that when it ended the way it did, I turned back to the story which that very same little me used to look up to.

This reference will not make much sense unless the reader knows what I'm referring to, but before all of this, I told myself that Honi was my Iccarrus. And I wasn't lying, I used to be OBSESSED with that character. I still am.

So.

There's a story of a man named Honi, who lived in the Hashmonean kingdom during the time of Zugot.

You read that last word wrong btw. The emphasis is supposed to be on the GOT, not the ZU.

Oh, and Hashmonean isn't pronounced like that, the H is supposed to be guttural.

Yeah, I suppose that's one way to do it, that's how most people do nowadays, but that's still not quite it, it's originally even more guttural. Yknow, like the Arabic guttural H? The one without a diacritical dot?

Oh I'm not making sense with this. Well, just know that most people read it the way that Google Translate does, but it's still mot quite right, the right sound is somewhat lost due to Roman colonization, second exile, etc etc etc.

Yeah, the Roman Empire ™ which Western culture likes to glorify so much.

Wow, sorry.

Where was I again?

Oh right.

There's a story of a man named Honi, who lived in the Hashmonean kingdom during the time of Zugot.

Zugot means "pairs" btw. It was a period of time in which the Jewish people typically had two leaders at a time (the Nassi and the head of the Sanhedrin). So I say "the Hashmonean kingdom" but actually the whole monarchy system wasn't at this point as it was in the past and-

"Stop referring to your religeon as a nation."

But it is a nation. It was a nation. I am secular and Jewish, Judaism is an ethnoreligeon, it's-

"So you support killing babies is what you're saying."

What? NO! When did I ever say that? I only tried to say that-

"You're using youre white privilege to-"

I'm not even white!

"You are brainwashed, you were literally calling against freedom-"

I wasn't! I WAS FUCKING TRAUMATIZED! Can you blame me? Can you blame me for getting triggered by the same motto that I've only ever seen in the context of death and murder and r*pe, specifically after seeing so many people that I used to know be directly effected in the worst ways possible, and and

You say that I am brainwashed but I only started fearing this phrase after being online, I only started having these horrible conotation by being expose to anything that is OUTSIDE of Israel, YOU have no idea how things work here, YOU only make things worse, YOU are making the only people with the power to DO something BACK AWAY, I see it happening, I see it happening every single day, you won't fix anything like this, you're only

Who is you?

Just

i don't know.

All I know is I keep being sickened by people using "pro life" as an excuse to make things worse,

and that you all are a part of that mold.

One's life is not kept safe by taking another, and I'm tired of people pretending it is.

It isn't your fault.

But it isn't mine either.

I would not have reacted the way that I did if I wasn't

yknow what

I'm done apologizing.

Let me take it from the top

There is a story of a man named Honi, who lived in Eretz Yisrael during the time of Zugot.

He cared for his people and their response was a Herem ("boycott"?)

Untill one other person decided he's fine.

And personally?

I think that's one hell of a circle

and I probably would

just stay inside.

For I no longer believe that a rainbow's promise is forever.

And if that's one too many Jewish references for you to understand,

then think twice

before ever accusing me of stealing culture again.

אנו העם העברי

[ultimate-cinephile]

I absolutely loved your Joker fluff alphabet! I would love to read about him finally getting the light he deserves and (maybe accidentally, whoops) starting a family with the girl he loves 💕

Alright, family man! joker, comin right up!

sorry this is so late btw, Christmas happened

without any furthur disruptions, I present to you-

Dad! Joker Headcanons

First things first, as I said in the Fluff Alphabet, Joker would have to be 100% certain that nothing would be able to hurt you before you ever had kids.

But surprise, surprise, you got pregnant.

You wound up having a beautiful baby girl with his hair and your eyes. Joker insisted on the name, Hikari, which means light in Japanese (at least according to Google Translate. please don't come after me if it's wrong).

Joker loves her to death.

To think that pretty much the entire time you were pregnant, he was freaking out, and the second he saw her, you had to remind him that babies needed air too before he accidentally smothered her.

He would do anything for her and for you.

Sol help the person who hurts either of you.

But as they say, the past has funny way of catching up with us.

And honey, Joker's got a big storm coming.

Lord in Heaven, I actually am going to need to make a protective dad! Joker one-shot aren't I?

MOVING ON BEFORE I FIND INSPIRATION

Once Hikari gets a little older, I can totally see the three of you watching Disney movies every Friday night for a family movie night ordeal.

Joker's a little freaked out at how you seem to know the lyrics to every single movie.

So far Hikari really seems to favor the Hunchback of Notre Dame (kid's got taste, I'll give her that), which is a l i t t l e worrisome, but she's only 4. It's not like she knows what it's about.

As soon as he's able, Joker definitely teaches her how to fight because in his absence, he wants his baby girl to defend herself.

Joker is insistent on protecting the both of you. So it's up to you to remind him that he has limits too and to make sure that he doesn't go past them.

He's incredibly soft for the two of you. You make his world a little less dismal and he would like to keep you around as long as possible.

[genshinconfessions]

[Spoilers for Inazuma/Particularly Peculiar Author quest again)

.

.

This is the person who figured out the alphabet btw

Room 1 - The one with the giant Moon (Or sun, I'm... not sure actually)

"Trivia et notham estis luminibus lunae" - this one was one of the easiest, though the "notham" took me a while to get and I'm not sure about it. If you look closely, you can see really faded runes, and I just matched what I could. A quick google search told me "notham" is a Latin word and I said good enough. Also, there might be something missing before the "Trivia", since there's empty space while the line below that starts further back, and the first letter is rather faded.

Room 2 - The one with the three mountains

Side 1: "Hic tacitus ?er?ana. Calor Arge?" - This one was a bit worse, I couldn't match all the letters and some are partially faded so I was just going with what seemed to match best. That last letter I think might be an N now, but I'm not sure at all.

Side 2: "Vi?i?abi cae??? est no" - Now this one. This one was terrible. I literally can't read half because it's too faded, and I think it may be cut off on the right side too.

Side 3: "In stellare ?a??enti sa?i?ntia absconcitur" - I literally could not get a good look at some letters thanks to the roots, and some are really faded, so this was pretty ouch. I think the first letter on the third word might be a T but again, I'm not sure and I only noticed that right now somehow.

Now, as I just (excitedly) sent in, these runes also appear in the spiral abyss!

Considering the Abyss = Khaenri'ah thing, I think these runes may be Khaenri'ahn.

(Also, I didn't think to check but I think the runes in the Spiral Abyss are just random letters)

Another note: There are some other recurring patterns in both the Dragonspine ruins (especially the pillars match really well, as well as some of the patterns on doors), and some of the electro puzzles in the Inazuma ruins have connecting lines (not the glowy ones, the ones on the ground between these emitter thingies? hard to explain, sorry) have the same golden borders as some things in the Spiral Abyss.

And, interestingly, there are quite a few bird carvings in the Inazuma ruins, which checks out, since we've heard a lot about the thunder bird (?) so far... but it kind of makes me wonder, since a) there's way more in the outer part of the ruins than where you find the Murals, and they're carved, which the paintings aren't... might mean nothing, but it kind of makes me think they weren't made by the same people.

I'll have to think some more about what any of this means other than that the fact that this tells us that... these ruins have some connection to Khaenri'ah/the Abyss I guess? Or that someone who knew Khaenri'ahn wrote these texts and presumably drew these murals, but I think this is pretty neat so far! I'll be back here yelling if I figure something else out

-Seelie

heh i speak latin this is what youve got so far means. its hard to tell with missing words but its the rough idea.

- Trivia et notham estis luminibus lunae

The crossroads and _____ are the lights of the moon

nothem is probably wrong bc that makes no sense lol

- Hic tacitus ?er?ana calor arge

This has been silent ___ ____

- Vi?i???i caelum est no

_______ is swimming in the heavens

- In stellare ____ sapientia absconcitur

In the stars the wisdom of the _________ is being hidden

- keith

.

wow i was gonna get my roommate to translate this but i totally forgot keith took latin asgdfhds i am a false friend

also i think that the missing words are missing on purpose because they seem to be the keywords! in any way, i’m sure we’ll end up knowing them later. how later? good question...

- katheryne from liyue

[skiller0dani]

L’amour De Ma Vie | Timothee Chalamet

M A S T E R L I S T

smut  requests info wanna be on a Timmy taglist? click here missed part 1? read it here

so I did my Billy Mitman thing. please let me know what you think as the chapters come out, I’m so nervous about it. love you babes xx  I’m running out of ideas, please send me requests l m a o 

btw I used google translate for the french bits don’t come at me if it’s incorrect. Timmy isn’t here to write the french parts for me :(  the translation will be located next to the french, italicized and in quotation marks. 

I listened to ‘La Vie En Rose’ by Chloe Moriondo during writing this. is perfectly captures the mood I was going for. 

Catch Up! Read Part One Here!

Public relationships are hard to maintain, with all the attention and expectations. 

The media and even fans expect the relationship to progress at a certain rate, and when Tim was dating Lily-Rose Depp, everyone was waiting for him to propose. But he wasn’t ready for that. Still isn’t. He wasn’t sure if it’s him that’s not ready or if it was the person. It’s not that Lily had done anything wrong, she didn’t. It was all Tim. Whatever he currently had with you was a huge relief, nobody even knew you existed in his life, not even his parents. Not Armie, not his family, not anybody. Tim wasn’t keeping you a secret because he was ashamed, no it wasn’t that. He needs a secret right now, something just for him and you. Something he could hide away in, and while he didn’t intend on meeting you when he’d gone to the club he can say meeting you was exactly what he needed. Tim did have to do some damage control during interviews when asked about the ‘mysterious girl’ he was seen exiting the club with that night. 

Tim always said you were an old friend, he said he hadn’t even seen you since. That it was a huge coincidence that he even ran into you. That’s not true of course, Tim sees you every single day that he can. The days he doesn’t see you, he calls you any chance he can get. Never in his life has he felt so obsessed with somebody, so completely consumed. Sure the sex was great, but talking to you was so much better than any of that. In recent weeks Tim has been avoiding having sex with you, it’s not that he doesn’t want to he does. He just doesn’t want you to think that’s the sole reason he sticks around. Lily took it personally towards the end of their relationship when Tim would turn down sex. He just didn’t feel like it, at least not with her. That’s when he knew he needed to end the relationship. 

Sometimes even private relationships are hard to maintain it would seem.  

Of course there were a lot of tabloids who didn’t quite buy his “just an old friend” story, and wrote speculative articles as to who you were. The two of you found it quite entertaining to read the theories, and to watch the fans unravel because who the hell are you?? Are you and Tim dating?? No you’re probably just family, oh my gosh but are you just family?? It was hilarious, in a cruel sort of way. Tim worried at first, made sure you weren’t too overwhelmed with all this attention on you even though the paparazzi didn’t even get a picture of your face. When you took him home from the club you had no clue Tim was internationally famous, he feels like maybe he should have told you before you fucked in the nightclub bathroom. You seemed intrigued by his career and the films he’d been in, he found that endearing. When the two of you first started seeing each other more often you’d told him you were going to watch every single movie he’d ever been in. Turns out you’re a woman of your word, because you then proceeded to watch every single movie he had ever starred in. Even briefly. 

Tim’s dad was never super inquisitive about his sons dating life, if it was someone Tim really saw a future with then he knew Tim would bring her by sooner or later. However you seemed to be something Tim remained very tight lipped about. Tim almost never mentioned you, and he always changed the subject if his dad questioned him about this mystery women who seems to have captured his sons attention. Tim really doesn’t know why his desire to keep you a complete secret to everyone is so strong, but he feels like he needs to keep you a secret. So when Tim’s phone rang and he saw his fathers contact for the 3rd time today, he grew nervous and nearly declined the call. 

“Bonjour fils,” “Hello son.” His father greets cheerfully, but Tim knows better. He knows something is up. “Dad, comment vas-tu?” “Dad, how are you?” Tim wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans as the dark clouds begin to gather together overhead. “I am well, but I do have a question for you.” His accent is thick, but Tim is used to it. It’s not the accent he’s focused on anyway. Tim’s parents become inquisitive only when they know Tim is hiding something important from them which is almost never. The silence on the other end of the phone is unnerving. “La fille, who is she?” Tim falls silent, he’s not entirely surprised this is the question his father needed to ask him right this moment. Tim itches the back of his neck as rain begins to drizzle down, Tim takes this opportunity to abort the call. “Dad? Dad? Sorry I can’t hear you.” Tim says, before faking a bad signal and hanging up. He feels guilty but he’s not ready to answer his dads question.

He was supposed to be walking to your small condo today, but clearly the rain has other plans as Tim stands a porch soaked to the bone.  

Normally Tim would drive but his car is too easily recognizable and it’s easier for him to disguise himself when he’s walking. His teeth chatter as his phone rings, he’s not at all surprised when he sees your name pop up on the screen. “Tim where are you? You’re going to get sick out there.” Your voice is thick with concern. It makes the corners of Tim’s mouth quirk up. Checking the closest street sign Tim signs, “still a few blocks away.” He says but is cut off when he hears your keys rattling. Seeing the streets flowing with a few inches of water as the rain begins to downpour, Tim’s voice is a little more worried than he intended when he spoke again. “No it’s way too dangerous for you to drive.” He protests but when he hears your front door shut he knows arguing with you is pointless. Tim slides his phone back into his pocket when he sees a bolt of lightning flash across the sky, luckily it should only take you a few minutes to reach him. 

With a flash of your headlights, Tim jogs to the passenger side of your car. 

His teeth are chattering hard and his wet hair clings to his forehead. There’s a healthy shade of rosy pink on his cheeks as he shudders when the heat hits him. “If you get sick I’m going to feel so bad for making you walk.” You begin your eyes glancing over at him during the short drive back to your place. Tim reaches over the center console, his ice cold hand finding yours as he squeezes once. “D-Don’t worry ab-bout it. I’ll be f-fine.” His voice is shaky as the shattering interrupts him. You wrap your tiny but warm hand around his as the rain pounds against the windshield. You can barely see. You don’t believe that he’ll be fine, and if he gets sick his director is going to be pissed. You pull into the garage at your house, and rush him inside. 

“Clothes off!” You exclaim as the two of you enter your kitchen. Tim raises an eyebrow at you, a playful smile on his face as he reaches for the button of his wet jeans. “Because they’re wet.” You sigh when he waggles his eyebrows at you. He shrugs with a wide grin on his face as you turn to get some of his clothes he’s left here from the laundry room. When you return to the kitchen, you nearly have to squeeze your thighs together at the sight before you. Tim is standing in nothing but his boxers, a towel over his head as he dries his hair. Droplets of water run down his toned chest and along his v lines. His eyes are closed as he pulls the towel away from his tousled damp strands. Tim’s eyes open and he smirks when he sees you, obviously letting your eyes trail down his body. “Can I have my clothes or are you going to stand there and check me out some more?” He teases, loving how your face blooms in a dark crimson blush. You release your vise grip on his clothes and hand them to him, your cheeks blushing even hotter when he sends a wink your way. 

You felt arousal rush through your body as you watched Tim yank his shirt over his head. 

Tim rolls his eyes playfully after he pulls on a pair of sweatpants and he sees you still gawking at him. He approaches you and presses a quick kiss to your lips before running his hands down your arms. While the two of you aren’t technically together, you do everything a couple does. Tim knows he could ask you and you’d say yes, but even that feels risky. It makes his chest close when he thinks about it, what you two have now is safe. It’s familiar. “Drink and movie?” He asks and you nod with a smile, moving to choose a movie as Tim heads into the kitchen to make drinks. You both feel comfortable getting a little tipsy, it’s obvious he’s going to be spending the night tonight. Even if it wasn’t raining he’d probably spend the night anyway. Tim spends more nights here than he does at his own apartment. You look through the movies, a heaviness in your chest. Why won’t he ask you to be his girlfriend? You know how you feel, you think you know how he feels. The way he acts, it seems like he really likes you. 

Holding your movie choice in your hand you skip back down the stairs, seeing that Tim has set up the DVD player and is waiting on the couch. 

“Whatcha pick babe?” Tim asks, popping an almond into his mouth as you kneel down to insert the disk. You smile but you don’t say anything as the DVD player reads the disk. The opening screen for ‘Call Me By Your Name’ comes on and you hear Tim groan. “It’s the only one of your movies I haven’t seen yet.” You smile as you snuggle into the couch next to him. Tim’s arm wraps around you as he keeps munching on the almond, watching the opening scene come on. “Yeah but this has sex scenes, you think I enjoy watching myself have fake sex?” Tim asks, discomfort on his face as you laugh. You reach over to take an almond from him, “I know I’ll sure enjoy it.” You smile and you feel his lips press against your head briefly. Your head rests against his chest as you take a sip of the drink he’s decided to make you. “Hm been forever since I had a gin and tonic.” You smile when you feel him squeeze you. 

When you see Tim come onto the screen, you can’t help but gush over how cute he is. 

“Oh Timmy! You’re so cute.” You squeal, loving how his cheeks tint pink at your complements. Tim only shakes his head at you as you continue to coo at the Tim on the screen, the only way he can get you to stop is to press his lips against yours for a short, sweet kiss. As the movie continues, you can’t stay focused. It’s not the movie, it’s a really good movie and you’re certain it’s become one of your favorites. No it’s not that it’s a bad movie, it’s the stupid adorable boy sitting next to you. You’re tired of the two of you dancing around what you really want to be, you don’t know what he’s still waiting for. Your cheek presses into his chest as you only half watch the movie. You take another big drink of your gin and tonic before resting against Tim again. Almost as though he can read your thoughts Tim pauses the movie and sits up to look at you. “What is it?” He asks, turning to sit in front of you, his legs folded. You blink as innocently as you can, but when you see the look in his eyes you know you can’t beat around the bush any longer. 

“I really like you Tim, I want to be with you...it just feels like you don’t want that too.” You admit, your eyes not meeting his as you stare down at the couch. You hear a deep sigh come from Tim before he takes your hands, his thumbs rubbing along the backs of your hands. Tim reaches forward to hook a finger under your chin to bring your eyes up to meet his. He was afraid he’d make you feel this way, he never meant to. He wants you more than you could ever understand. “I want that, more than I could ever put into words. I guess I’m just afraid that if we go there, what we have will change. I don’t want this to change or to become the ‘medias’ relationship rather than our relationship.” Tim says softly, and your eyebrows pinch together. 

“What do you mean?” You ask him, your hands curling around his tighter, and you see him nibble on the inside of his cheek. “When I dated Lily, she always wanted us to act a certain way for the camera. Or maybe I just felt like we needed to be different for the medias eyes. It was so much work always having to be careful about what I did with her or said to her because there were eyes on us all the time. What I have with you makes me feel so free, I don’t want that to change. I don’t want us to be poisoned by the media.” Tim says, and you can tell a huge weight has been lifted from his chest by him saying this. Your hands reach up to cup his cheeks as you pull his lips to meet yours. 

“That won’t ever happen to us. We’ll be careful about the media, we’ll keep this a secret.” You reassure him as you crawl into his lap. You see the look of fear on his face beginning to melt away as he winds his arms tightly around your waist. Tim’s forehead presses firmly against yours, “so do you really want to do this, with me?” He asks and you know he isn’t joking. He’s being dead serious. You wind your arms around his neck with a smile on your face as you brush your nose against his. “I want to be yours.” You whisper and he smiles before he stands, with your legs wound around his waist. “Then be my girlfriend.” Tim whispers and instead of answering you press your lips firmly against his. He carries you up the stairs, his lips beginning to move more frantically against yours. His hands slide down your back to grab at your ass, causing you to gasp into his mouth. 

He drops you unceremoniously onto the bed, his hands immediately sliding up to hook into your sleep shorts you have on. Tim’s lips pepper kisses along your collarbones and neck. Your back arches into him as you card your fingers through his damp hair, still mostly wet from the rain. Tim pulls your shorts down your legs slowly and groans softly when he sees you’re not wearing panties. He kisses his way down to the swells of your breasts. You start to lean up to remove your tank top but Tim reaches up and grabs your shirt between his hands before yanking, splitting the fabric in half. You moan as he does so, immediately pulling his head down to your chest. Tim chuckles against your skin as you arch against him, whining as his right hand slides between your bodies to toy with your clit. “God Tim,” You moan, your voice broken as you wriggle your hips against his hand. Tim’s lips latch to your nipple as he slides 2 fingers into your wet opening. 

You spread your thighs wider for him as his teeth gently sink into your nipple causing you to cry out. Tim begins to quickly pump his fingers into you while whispering dirty words into the skin of your breasts. “Gonna cum all over my fingers baby?” His voice is husky and you can’t offer more than a frantic nod as he scissors his fingers open to stretch you. “Fuck Tim!” You cry out, your fingers curling around your bed sheets as he crawls down your body to latch his lips to your clit. He sucks your clit into his mouth to flick it with his tongue and as he does so you explode around his fingers but he doesn’t stop. Your eyes roll back as he continues to pleasure you, the overstimulation becoming too much. As you feel your orgasm approaching a second time Tim bites gently at your clit and it’s like a switch flips inside you, and you squirt all over him. 

Your chest is heaving as Tim pulls away, quite literally covered in your cum. You blush hard as he wipes his face, his pupils dilated as he gazes down at you with a lustful smile. “Fuck baby you’ve never squirted before, you’re so sexy.” Tim growls as he leans down to press his lips against yours again, to try and kiss away your embarrassment. You feel the head of his cock nudging against your entrance and you immediately part your thighs wider to make room for him between your legs. “Mine?” Tim asks, his eyes soft as one of his hands reaches up to brush hair away from your face. “Yours.” You confirm, nuzzling your nose against his as he slowly pushes into you. With one languid thrust Tim slides all the way inside you, and you both gasp in pleasure. You press a hand to his hip to hold him deep inside you. Tim’s forehead presses against yours as he sits still inside you, “L’amour de ma vie.” He mutters, his French rolling smoothly off his lips. You smile as you press your lips to his, even though you don’t know what it means you’re sure it means something beautiful. 

Tim pulls his hips back and gently slides back into you, and you see starts when he hits that spot inside you that makes your toes curl. Tim continues to slide sensually and gently into you before drawing his hips back and driving into you softly again. Your forehead stays pressed against his as both of you pant into each others mouths as you feel your high coming up on you again. “I’m gonna cum baby,” You cry out softly as you grab and claw at his shoulders. Tim continues his slow and steady pace, his lips finding the skin of your neck. With a few more swift thrusts into you, you come undone around his cock. Feeling you squeeze him Timothee groans, cumming inside you in gentle spurts. 

Tim pulls out of you with a wince before rolling onto his back beside you. “What did it mean?” You ask as you turn your head to look at him. A cheeky smile crosses onto his face as he presses a kiss to your lips. “Maybe learn some French and you’ll know.” He teases and you roll your eyes as you hop up from the bed. Tim smiles as he pushes off the bed, “come on! We still haven’t finished the movie!” Your excited little voice calls from downstairs and Tim smiles while shaking his head. He doesn’t even bother to put his clothes on, you didn’t. 

You really are the love of his life. 

***taglist*** @irishbish​ @y2k-wildfire​ @newletas​ @londonmademedoit​ @80sangelics​ @swim-reaper​ @elisaaru

[stina-is-a-punk-rocker]

stephanie perkins: ‘anna and the french kiss’

SPOILERS AHEAD!

Then again, if you’ve read any YA book, ever, it’s fairly obvious what’s going to happen.

I was going to go easy on this book; I really was. It’s really unfair how media aimed at a female demographic is seen as frivolous and vapid, and more often than not bashed and bullied when it comes to reviews. “People actually enjoy this crap?” ask the powers that be. “It’s worthless! Pulp! Dreamy-eyed nonsense only complete nimrods could ever like!”

And I take offense to that. There’s nothing wrong with liking romance or happy endings or stories about cute European boys. I was ecstatic when I stumbled across Anna and the French Kiss upon a chance trip to the bookstore. The cover was… meh (Century Gothic? Really? There were no other fonts?). But I’d heard nothing but praise about the book, and I was prepared to stay up all night and into the wee hours of the morning to finish it.

Admittedly, I was far from impressed upon the first reading. The characters were unlikable, the plot would’ve worked better for less shitty characters, honestly fuck these characters am I supposed to like them, fuck Anna, fuck Étienne, fuck Bridgette, fuck Toph, fuck Dave and Meredith and Amanda and Seany and every other stupid character in this stupid book.

The second time around, I expected to not hate it as much as I did when I first read it. It’s happened- I hated Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda when I first read it, and when I read it again, all that red-hot anger simmered down into an overall dislike. I thought To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before was trash at first, and then I read it again, and it got promoted to recyclable waste matter.

I found Anna and the French Kiss horrendous the first time I read it, and then I read it again, and… yeah, it’s still pretty awful.

Le Sommaire:

Anna Oliphant is a seventeen-year-old wannabe film critic who is #NotLikeOtherGirls – so she’s exactly like every other female YA lead. To her credit, she never explicitly says she’s special… everyone around her does.

She has a pretty meh life in Atlanta, Georgia with her mum and little bruv Sean- and then her dad decides to ship her off to France for her final year of high school. I’m not judging Anna for bawling her eyes out on her first day; I’m a huge mummy’s girl myself and I’d probably (definitely) do the same.

Meredith is Anna’s next-door neighbor, who does that thing which only happens in YA where she’s like “Oh, newbie? Let’s be friends!” (Or maybe it does happen irl and I tend to make a bad first impression which is why no one has ever approached me.)

Meredith’s friends are: Rashmi and Josh (who are a couple), and Étienne St. Clair. Guess which one is the love interest.

Étienne is cultured in that white person way where he’s half American, one quarter French and one quarter British. A true international.

But- *gasp*- American-British-French boy has a girlfriend, Ellie.

Anna has an absolutely gorgeous punk rocker (yum) boy with sideburns (yikes) back home named Christopher. Also, Christopher’s nickname is ‘Toph’ instead of ‘Chris’ because he too is #NotLikeOtherGirls. Anna tells us that nothing will happen between her and Étienne.

Anna is wrong.

Meredith has a crush on Étienne. So does the Regina George of the school, Amanda.

Étienne and Anna have some moments ™.

♫ Everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but Anna ♫

I tear my hair out in frustration.

Several other white boys vie for Anna’s heart. Anna remains blissfully unaware (♫ that’s what makes you beautiful ♫). Étienne (who is still dating Ellie, mind you) is unreasonably agitated by this.

Étienne’s mum has cancer btw, which excuses all the shitty things he does, because he’s just a poor, misunderstood boy.

Ellie dresses up as a, quote unquote, ‘slutty nurse’ for Hallowe’en, though- so it’s perfectly okay to dislike her (even though, in the first interaction she had with Anna, where Ellie meets Anna and Étienne, after Étienne takes Anna to the movies, Ellie is perfectly sweet).

Anna, however, is NOT a slut. Amanda is, though. And Rashmi’s cold. And Meredith’s desperate. And Emily’s a slut, too. And her friend Bridgette from Atlanta is a traitor. Anna has an intense case of internalized misogyny.

Anna’s friend Bridgette from Atlanta is screwing Toph, and Anna throws a fit.

Étienne and Anna have some more moments ™.

A truly chaotic series of events befall Anna. She somehow winds up dating Dave (one from the harem of white boys who likes her) to spite Étienne, she gets into a fight with Amanda, more drama ensues, there’s a hint for a spinoff, Étienne and her kiss, Meredith sees and feels betrayed… several misunderstandings and more bullshit later, Étienne and Anna wind up together, because true love conquers all.

Mes Réflexions:

(If the French is off, blame Google Translate.)

Usually, it takes me half a page of my notebook to scribble down my thoughts about the book I’m reading. This motherfucker took me almost an entire page.

Granted, a solid 30% of those notes are me throwing insults at Étienne, but still. ‘STOP STOP STOP YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND YOU DICK’ counts, right?

(That was #17 in my notes, by the way.)

For the record, I like Stephanie Perkins’s writing. It’s not as over-the-top and unnecessarily introspective as Jenny Han’s in To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, and the interactions between Anna and her classmates were natural and not the “How do you do, fellow kids?” style of Becky Albertalli’s Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda. The pacing is decent- I didn’t feel like it was too rushed; not the insta-love trope most YA romances unfortunately fall prey to.

And yet. AND YET.

Anna: “What’s your problem?” Amanda: “You.”

Same, Amanda, same.

Anna Oliphant is one of my least favorite leads in a book, ever. Étienne’s even shittier. And it’s not like Nick or Amy Dunne from Gone Girl, or any of the main characters from The Secret History, where readers pretty much unanimously hate them. You’re meant to relate to Anna, you’re meant to find Étienne charming and dreamy. I literally had to put the book away and calm myself down several times- especially in the last quarter of the book.

One of my main gripes with Anna is how… dumb she is. I guess Anna’s “Oopsies, silly me, I don’t know French!” is meant to be relatable to the readers. And some parts (like her not knowing how to order food because she can’t speak French) are plausible, but- sis, you didn’t know how to spell oui? And my idea of a cinematic masterpiece is Kung-Fu Panda, but even a dumbass like me knows that France is the film appreciation capital of the world. And yet Anna, a self-professed film freak, doesn’t?

Of course, Anna’s gorgeous, but she has no clue, because of course she doesn’t- even though she has multiple guys falling head over heels for her.

I’m in a short skirt. It’s the first time I’ve worn one here, but my birthday seems like the appropriate occasion. “Woo, Anna!” Rashmi fake-adjusts her glasses. “Why do you hide those things?”

Étienne is staring at my legs. The scales covering them throb under his intense gaze, and the pincers sticking out of my thighs start clicking rapidly in arousal. My hooves shiver in ecstasy.

… sorry, that’s not funny.

Her friends think Anna’s weird for wanting to write film reviews (which is the most contrived thing I’ve ever heard) instead of being the next Margot Robbie or whatever, but of course Étienne doesn’t and he thinks it’s not weird and cool and that Anna is such a special snowflake.

(Man, I sound like Amanda.)

And then we have this spiel by Anna about how she got into film critiquing (?), because we the readers need to know how special and #NotLikeOtherGirls Anna is.

To this, I say, “Piss off, you pretentious fuck.”

Of course, Anna’s a virgin and she’s never gotten drunk before or worn short skirts- she’s not a slut, she shaves below the knees only.

And would YA really be YA without several hearty helpings of internalized misogyny?

First up, we have the bimbo; the Barbie doll archetype whose only goal in life is acquiring the main guy (who is quite obviously uninterested in her), and making life hell for our protagonist. Amanda Whatsername (is she ever given a surname?) has this coveted role in Anna and the French Kiss. She’s blond (because of course she is); the first time we meet her, she’s in a, quote unquote, ‘teeny tank top’, and she also ‘positions herself for maximum cleavage exposure’. She’s always flipping her hair, getting her grubby paws on Étienne, giving Anna the stink-eye, being homophobic and a grade-A bitch.

Meredith goes batshit when Anna and Étienne kiss, and is very pouty and unhappy during prior Anna x Shittiene moments. Honey… he’s just not that into you. Rashmi’s the Ice Queen reincarnate and halfway to bitchdom. Anna doesn’t go as hard on them as she does on literally every other female her age in the book, though.

Rashmi looks at me for the first time, calculating whether or not I might fall in love with her own boyfriend.

Anna, hate to break it to you, but not everyone’s a possessive fucking weirdo.

About Cherrie, her ex-boyfriend Matt’s new girlfriend:

And maybe Cherrie isn’t as bad as I remember. Except she is. She totally is. After only five minutes in her company, I cannot fathom how Bridge stands sitting with her at lunch every day.

Her lifeless laugh is one of her lesser attributes. What does Matt see in her?

Even Bridgette, Anna’s best friend from Atlanta, isn’t immune to Anna’s anti-female propaganda. She’s screwing the guy Anna used to like, and Anna, the hypocrite, throws a huge fit.

For context: Bridgette and Toph are in a band called the Penny Dreadfuls (why is it with YA books and horrible band names? ‘Emoji’ from Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda was bad enough), and Anna + Matt + Cherrie go to a bowling alley to see them perform. After the performance, Toph announces that he’s sleeping with Bridge, and Anna confronts Bridge… onstage.

“… You’re welcome to move in when I leave again, because that’s what you want, right? My life?”

She shakes with fury. “Go to hell.”

“Take my life. You can have it. Just watch out for the part where my BEST FRIEND SCREWS ME OVER!” I knock over a cymbal stand, and the brass hits the stage with an earsplitting crash that reverberates through the bowling alley. Matt calls my name. Has he been calling it this entire time? He grabs my arm and leads me around the electrical cords and plugs and onto the floor and away, away, away.

Everyone in the bowling alley is staring at me.

I duck my head so my hair covers my face. I’m crying. This would have never happened if I hadn’t given Toph her number. All of those late-night practices and… he said they’ve had sex! What if they’ve had it at my house? Does he come over when she’s watching Seany? Do they go in the bedroom?

I’m going to be sick.

Give me a goddamn break.

Anna, about Ellie:

To my amazement, Ellie breaks into an ear-to-ear smile. Oddly enough, it’s this moment I realize that despite her husky voice and Parisian attire, she’s sort of… plain. But friendly-looking.

That still doesn’t mean I like her.

“Anna! From Atlanta, right? Where’d you guys go?”

She knows who I am? St. Clair describes our evening while I contemplate this strange development. Did he tell her about me? Or was it Meredith? I hope it was him, but even if it was, it’s not like he said anything she found threatening. She doesn’t seem alarmed that I’ve spent the last three hours in the company of her very attractive boyfriend. Alone.

[about Ellie’s Hallowe’en costume] Slutty nurse. I don’t believe it. Tiny white button-up dress, red crosses across the nipples. Cleavage city.

If I didn’t like Ellie before, it’s nothing compared to how I feel now. It doesn’t matter that I can count how many times we’ve met on one hand.

I fantasize about their break-up. How he could hurt her, and she could hurt him, and all of the ways I could hurt her back. I want to grab her Parisian-styled hair and yank it so hard it rips from her skull. I want to sink my claws into her eyeballs and scrape.

It turns out I am not a nice person.

YOU DON’T FUCKING SAY.

Emily Middlestone bends over to pick up a dropped eraser, and Mike Reynard leers at her breasts. Gross. Too bad for him she’s interested in his best friend, Dave. The eraser drop was deliberate, but Dave is oblivious.

One of the juniors, a girl with dark hair and tight jeans, stretches in a move designed to show off her belly button ring to Paul/Pete. Oh, please.

And I’m meant to like this character? I’m supposed to root for her?

I’m not saying every girl in the book should be perfectly sweet and friendly- that’s just not realistic. But when Anna has something judgmental to say about every other young female character… maybe she’s the problem.

In fact, the only girl I recall getting a pass is Isla Whatsername. And why do you think?

Brilliant.

And now we have the amalgamation of almost every fanfic boyfriend trope from 2014, Étienne St. Clair. Brown-eyed Harry Styles. I can’t fucking wait.

Étienne could’ve discovered the cure for cancer, or abolished poverty, or volunteered at animal shelters in his spare time. He could’ve been the most virtuous guy around (fret not; he decidedly isn’t). And I still wouldn’t’ve thought of him as the man of my dreams because HE HAS A BLOODY GIRLFRIEND.

I mean, which girl doesn’t want her boyfriend to say:

“I cheated on her every day. In my mind, I thought of you in ways I shouldn’t have, again and again.”

Fuckin’ smooth, bro.

“No matter what a terrible boyfriend I was, I wouldn’t actually cheat on her. But I thought you’d know.”

Such a gentleman!

“So you can keep dating Ellie, but I can’t even talk to Dave?”

Étienne looks shamed. He stares at his boots. “I’m sorry.”

I don’t even know what to do with his apology.

“I’m sorry,” he says again. And this time, he’s looking at me. Begging me. “And I know it’s not fair to ask you, but I need more time. To sort things out.”

And this gem:

“If you liked me so much, why didn’t you break up with her?”

“I’ve been confused. I’ve been so stupid.”

*me, banging pots and pans together* F U C K Y O U

“Ellie’s not like you, Anna; she’s a slut and a whore even though I’m the one who’s been thinking about another girl inappropriately and I’m the one who gets my knickers in a twist when another man glances in your direction because my masculinity is extremely fragile and I’m a total hypocrite and a dickhead.”

I mean, he didn’t actually say that, but that’s the gist.

WHILE DATING ELLIE: he gets Anna a book of sexual love poems, he calls her attractive (“Any bloke with a working prick would be insane not to like you.”) multiple times, he gets jealous whenever another guy so much as breathes in Anna’s direction and constantly interrupts such interactions, he’s been ditching his friends for his girlfriend but suddenly decides he prefers a new girl over said girlfriend, he thinks bread pudding tastes good- in conclusion, he is a Massive Fucking Prick. Though in hindsight, him and Anna deserve each other. They’re awful.

I had loads more notes taken down (Anna using Dave; “The important thing is this: Dave is available. St. Clair is not.”); the implication that cheating is okay because Ellie is bad or whatever, even though the sudden change in her character seems contrived because she was perfectly okay with Étienne and Anna hanging out before; how my blood boils whenever I read an American book and American girls are like “oOoOh AcCenT!!!1!!1!!”; me reading “DAVE SAYS YER A SLUTBAG” in Hagrid’s voice; the sheer atrocity of the name ‘Étienne St. Clair’ (sounds like a caricature of a French person)… but this ‘review’ is already pushing 3k and I can’t be fucked to expand on any of those points.

Verdict (which is apparently the same in French):

Who needs Christopher when Étienne St. Clair is in the world?

Speak for yourself.

[straynstay]

Astronaut theory

first of all, I am confusion lol

SKZ broke me in a way that my mind is overthinking so many things that now I believe that anything from their MVs might be a sign. And may I add that Chan's recent live only made me even more confused PLS BOY IF YOU SEE THIS DROP THE THEORY YOU SAID WAS QUITE CLOSE TO THE TRUTH cause I'm nearly losing my mind, I need answers!!!!

so here I am again trying to understand their concept and trust me, it's not easy or short and I don't even know if it's right which makes me even more frustrated... also, we may have lost some important pieces to connect the whole story bc we don't know what was taken from the original MV with ot9, so yeah…

anyways... let me put a guide for you guys cause I'm not gonna write the title of the songs all the time, so AS = Astronaut; DK = Double Knot; MH = Miroh; SE = Side Effects; VS = Victory Song; YW = Yellow Wood (teaser); D9 = District 9; IAY = I Am You

Alright, let’s go back to the beginning! In I Am Not teaser we see that each one has a specific function inside the system or is doing sth very particular, Felix is dancing in front of mirrors on a rooftop (where they always are on their MVs) with a building nearby that shows a sign with FAKE on it – clearly indicating that either Felix is fake or their reality is fake, or maybe both; Changbin is in a room full of TVs like MIA; Seungmin is drawing sth that looks like a map (but I guess it was supposed to be sth else?) but he’s also the one in charge of the maps in Double Knot; we have Hyunjin trying to control a VR system, he looks quite frustrated with it, and after Hyunjin removes the headset, we hear a sound similar to when a program is being interrupted on tv and his image is frozen, probably bc he was disconnected from the main system.

and the most intriguing part: we have Jeongin in a bus – also sth reoccurring in their MVs �� and he sees another Jeongin sitting on the bus stop, as if waiting for him. We all know by now that it’s a double, a clone, or whatever you may call it (like I mentioned previously on my Side Effects analysis that clearly shows they have ‘shadows’ like other selves copying their moves).

we don’t see what happens afterwards, but I’m gonna assume he finds out something is not right in the system and probably tells Chan (their leader) about it. Why I think this? Because in MIA they both sing the following lines: “Something is different, carefully look around you” (which is exactly what Chan does in D9) and “Something is changing, even if you hide it so hard, I can see it all” (which is what Jeongin does on the bus and also in Miroh, cause he’s the one in the control room, right?). But the thing is… I believe that the fake Jeongin is the one with SKZ in District 9. The double took his place after he got off the bus and is acting like Jeongin would, helping SKZ and all, but his line “better watch out” shows sth different, it seems somehow too menacing, almost like a threat – at least to me. So SKZ better watch out now cause there’s a fake among them, but SKZ is unaware

moving on.. it’s also in MIA that we see SKZ being duplicated – it looks like it can’t be helped. We know for sure that there’s a double for Chan, Woojin and Felix. In the MV it seems like Hyunjin also has a double that is watching himself from the other side of the door while the one inside the room says “Why are you staring at me again?” and then we see a surveillance camera (they’re onto Hyunjin, but Hyunjin seems to notice it).

this may seem dumb, but Changbin is duplicated in Get Cool (and like I said, any evidence is evidence lol). I don’t remember seeing Jisung, Seungmin and Minho being duplicated in any MV, and isn’t it weird that they’re the ones we see on the cage in AS?

in My Pace we have seven numbers shown behind them when they’re dancing: 137, 163, 191, 223, 241, 271 and 307. I thought they wouldn’t put this randomly so I searched what these number might mean and I found that they’re prime numbers (as you know, prime numbers can only be divided by themselves), and that prime numbers are very useful for creating keys to decrypt data by hackers. So I thought… what if Jeongin and Chan were trying to decrypt the system in order to mess with it but they need a key and Hyunjin was the key? And after DK happened, they managed to create glitches even more powerful than before? (like I explained in my theory).

anyways… moving on to Astronaut. ASTRONAUT = a person who is trained to travel in a spacecraft. But what if in SKZ concept an Astronaut is someone trained to travel their realities? And as we can see in I Am Not, Hyunjin is the one being trained in the VR apparatus.

also, he’s the one with an airplane behind him in Victory Song (and by now I think every little thing in these MVs are clues, sorry)

so what I take from this is that Hyunjin is like the tester of the realities they’ll have to face in order to escape District 9, like he is on a trial mode, if that makes any sense…

in the Astronaut MV, as we all noticed, we have some references from past MVs such as I Am You (the spinning thing); Victory Song (the red flares Chan & Jeongin are holding); Miroh (the boxes); Side Effects (the cart) and Chronosaurus (the plastics)

it’s interesting that Jeongin and Chan are the ones together when the music begins and I think this might mean sth because they’re always referenced as one, like in IAY; and Chan in AS is probably talking to MH’s Jeongin, because if they know what’s happening in the system, they might be able to keep in touch with each other even from different realities – but this is just me speculating too much!

in the MV we see 3 orbs: the 1st one is blueish with a green center; the 2nd is dark blueish/purple with a yellow center, and the last one is transparent with a black center.

so I googled those orb colors and found out that the first one may signify communication, neutrality, healing – might be applied to a master/guide; the second one may signify caution, insight, notice; while the last one may signify insecurity, being trapped or tortured. I don’t know if this makes sense, but I put it in here bc I strongly believe that these orbs represent Chan, Hyunjin and Jeongin, since they’re the ones that seem to be the focus of this storyline (and the color scheme of the scenes the orbs appear reminded me of IAY, 19 and SE)

going back to the AS MV, we also see Felix glitching like he did in MH and I was able to see in the background glasses being smashed, lightening, buildings, a road and a bridge, storm, moon, etc., and these are all elements that are present in their MVs, like showing what they already faced so far.

the cage scene made me think of District 9. When we first see it, Jeongin is the only one inside, but then we also see Han, Minho, Seungmin with him – and they’re slightly glitching, btw.

some other things happen to Hyunjin, he keeps on running, and now he’s outside on a dark road with a storm coming up – which reminded me of SE a lot, especially because of the two moons -, but he seems quite peaceful facing all those terrifying elements

he runs towards the end of the road that he can’t even see what’s waiting for him there – but maybe it’s because he already knows what happens next.

Hyunjin finds Chan in front of a door (maybe the exit?) and they all go through – to me it looks like Felix is the one about to close it, like he did with the gate in D9. Chan then shoots sth towards the sky like he did in VS (which caused a storm), but here it only makes a beam of light appear for them – as if they’re asking to go up? Like ‘beam me up Scotty’? you guys know this Star Trek reference, right? lol

and now we see the sky, but we don’t have two moons… I know it’s probably bc it’s morning, but in SE it was also morning and we saw two moons, so I’m assuming Hyunjin was able to find the finish line of the VR simulation (because I’m assuming that everything with the two moons is actually the VR)

at the end, we see Jeongin walking to the spinning thing like a glitch – like Chan also did when he went to the door, as if teleporting from here to there – and he’s alone, probably left behind. But why would SKZ leave him behind? Probably because they didn’t know he was there...

alright, so what does it all mean? I’m gonna try my best to comment everything and try to link the MVs with the lyrics to create a somewhat decent storyline.

on the released picture of the AS track list, this is what is written (it’s a rough translation, so I’m sorry if it’s wrong): “when we were happy together, we could do anything, where we chatted and laughed carelessly until dawn. Suddenly, I saw a bead… what is it? As soon as I got close, I heard a strange sound. At the end of the sound was a faint mixture of familiar voices calling my name. Without thinking, I started getting drawn by the sound”

To me, the first part means the I Am You setting. They were all happy after being free, they created their own world where they could do anything as long as they were together. In AS we see Hyunjin in this same environment and that’s also when the first orb appears. Hyunjin is attracted by the orb that could possibly be SKZ’s way to communicate with him inside the VR. Because remember, Hyunjin is there but what he’s seeing and experiencing is not real. He’s testing the ways out for SKZ. But he was so happy in that reality that he lost himself, he didn’t know what he was supposed to do anymore. And SKZ sent something to guide him out of this fake environment as we see in AS. He then started his journey back to where the real SKZ are, going through all the tokens from the realities he’s been through (like the boxes with the confusing mazes, but that are easily destroyed bc is not real; the cart from SE, the gate from D9, etc…). What also gives him hints is how the members start to act after he begins his running in AS. After he destroys the boxes, Felix is standing there like a heroic figure, glitching with Changbin, looking almost unapproachable or as if he can’t see him. we see Chan on the floor, so Chan is probably grounded like Hyunjin.

then he sees his friends trapped inside a cage. But the thing is that this cage is really ridiculous, any of them could climb or help the other to get out of there, so I think they’re trapped bc they’re not real, it’s all a simulation, – except for Jeongin, but I’ll get to this point later on, hold on!! – and this cage represents D9.

Hyunjin runs endlessly until he reaches the road I mentioned already, and he finds Chan, they all go through the door (how could they if four of them were trapped? unless nothing of that is real) and they are all dressed in white, like when they escaped D9, dancing happily on the rooftop.

to me, after Jeongin got off the bus he realized the system’s plan and told Chan (their leader), and they came up with ideas to escape, but they needed someone that could control the reality, and Hyunjin was being trained for it – although he was frustrated with it - so they asked him to go unlocking worlds (or roads, or whatever) and he did it, but as farther he went, he started getting lost in the system bc he didn’t know who he was anymore, was he a clone already? What he’s seeing is reality or virtual reality? What’s the truth, what’s the answer?

Chan and Jeongin were able to guide Hyunjin throughout the MVs to continue with their plan, but Hyunjin’s mind was starting to lose itself, although he had a feeling that something seemed off… And Astronaut is nothing more than a recap of all what they’ve been through and Hyunjin’s journey to the unknown in order to find SKZ again and help them escape.

so what about that last scene with Jeongin? Well, I think the Jeongin in white clothes with them at the end is not the real Jeongin, and the Jeongin we see sitting alone is in fact the real one that is trapped inside the VR. Chan was guiding Hyunjin but lost Jeongin in the meantime and didn’t realize it or Chan knows it and is also a clone anything is possible, because to me the Jeongin we see in their MVs isn’t the real Jeongin since D9, like I said in the beginning of this analysis. Maybe the reason Seungmin and Minho were found on DK by the drone is bc Jeongin was with them and he’s part of the system? The others weren’t seen except for these three. I also believe this hypothesis because the gate in AS represents D9 and Jeongin is the only one moving after Hyunjin leaves, probably showing that the real one was lost in D9, but since there can’t be two “Jeongins” in a same place, he needs to wait for them to realize that they’re dealing with a fake one and come back for him.

alright, to summarize this huge analysis...

EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED DIDN’T HAPPEN!! HYUNJIN WAS DECRYPTING AND TESTING THE REALITIES (IN THE VR THING) THEY HAVE TO FACE IN ORDER TO ESCAPE AND OVERTHROW THE SYSTEM AND NOW THAT HE’S FINISHED THE TRIALS HE’S BACK TO DISTRICT 9 AND CAN SHOW SKZ THE RIGHT PATHS TO FOLLOW BUT HE DIDN’T REALISE THAT THE REAL JEONGIN IS TRAPPED INSIDE THE VR AND HE LEFT HIM BEHIND AND NOW SKZ WILL HAVE TO GO BACK TO GET HIM OUT OMGGG I CANT ANYMORE

how else would we explain Hyunjin, Jeongin and Chan’s hairstyle looking almost the same as the one they had in D9?

some other thoughts I had: what if they’re duplicating themselves to leave the clones on the system so the real ones can escape?

ASTRONAUT also has 9 letters... this might mean something?

why is Chan singing all the time “I’m not me” in the background of Mirror? can he be trusted? I’m still not sure about Chan’s role in all of this bc he seems shady like Jeongin lol sorry Chan

from the Victory Song unveil track we have Chan saying this “we are Stray Kids, the owners of Clé. Roll the dice. Our beginning is District 9. We break the frame, escape from the system, and go beyond the fixed line towards STAY. We came to listen to Victory Song. So ring the 승전가”. Isn’t it weird that he says “break, escape, go” instead of “broke, escaped, went” ?? he only says “we came” bc the question is about their entrance in Miroh and Victory Song is after it, but if everything else also happens after D9, shouldn’t the other verbs be on the past tense too?

in Chronosaurus we see someone picking up three keys from the floor and I’m pretty sure it’s Jeongin.

one key for each – Chan, Hyunjin and him. But what can they do with the keys? I thought that maybe they could go spread themselves through the realities these keys unlock and place signs for them so they don’t get lost or forget about what they’re doing, like easter eggs? there are some black balloons on SE that reminded me of 19

in TMT there’s a billboard that Chan sees saying “do what you wanna do” (a message he left for himself there? and look at the background, it’s the space)

and what about Hyunjin? I’m not sure, but maybe the scene where we see him laying on the grass at the end of SE is actually because he just arrived in that reality and lost the key of that reality on that weird pond??? is the easter egg in SE himself??? I still think it’s weird the way Jeongin looks at him and smiles brightly in this scene lol

this is just what I was able to put together, but I still have a lot of questions and a lot of concerns, but unless Chan spills the tea I don’t care if it’s hot we’ll stay clueless about all of this lol

and he says we’re not clowns… right…

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) ok so this may sound so dramatic but; let me paint you a picture: i’m responding to your latest message, sitting on the edge of the sofa. i type in “lovely anon” into the search and see this longgg post come up and i’m like uhhh... i scroll down and see the people you tagged and literally. when i saw @ lovely anon. i . cried . like full on tears. my brother goes “what are you doing” “she tagged meeeee” and he continued what he was doing and didn’t care LMAOO but i was so emotional? i love and appreciate you too and aAH IM CRYING!! you’re just really sweet and i didn’t expect it at all and it was really lovely to be a part of something :’)

the kermit pic sent meee but yes yes yes!! when you start uni let me know, lol i’m so excited for you!! let me know how it goes cuz i’m literally hype hahah & yes we will be in our sad corners of the world, missing england but you’re right it’ll be sooooo worth it in the end!!! and oH i’m glad you talk to them lol i truly thought you like haven’t seen them/haven’t spoken to them this whole time😭 that would’ve been awful!

also i totallyyy get what your saying about the english speaking thing. and idk why you’re insecure (well i *knowww* bc it’s not your first language and you’re studying it in college so yuh) but your english is great :)))

lol yeah that makes sense.. my mom took french in college and she remembers NOTHING HDJSHSJ (the fact that you wanna learn MORE languages i- ahh i so admire you.. you literally know so many languages🥺) yea i mean you know a bunch of languages bc you know the base of words lol, but i wonder if because you know latin it’ll be easier for you to learn french? oh- oh wait you said it’ll be easier HAHHAHA

THERES SO MUCH EXCITING STUFF TO TALK ABOUT HDGSJSJSL it’s so wild to me that you can’t watch chaos walking :( i’m a professional hacker tho so i’ll try and find a way for you LMAO (by professional hacker i mean i literally have gotten multiple free trials and i’m pretty sure the hulu police are after me bUT ITS THEIR FAULT BC WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???) i mean the movie was good? and cute? and funny? but yea don’t think it’s gonna be the most fantastic thing haha AND THE DOGGO AWWW (i saw it again today- or my today lol, saturday, aND THESE OLD PEOPLE CAME AND SAT IN FRONT OF ME AND MY FRIEND LIKE ITS A LONG STORY LMK IF YOU WANNA HEAR IT)

SHARK FILMS?!?!! PLEASE READING THIS I HAD NO IDEA YOU WOULD LIKE SHARK MOVIES TOO FHSKSHSHDJDJGAJAYSJS ok so i haven’t seen any of the classics (i’m working on it) but i would probably watch jaws to laugh at it? not like that lmao but like comparing it. OKAY BUT HONESTLY I BARELY KNOW ANYONE WHO LIKES SHARK FILMS AHHH OKAY im adding “the shallows” to my watchlist bc it sounds super good AND SAME AHSJD ANY BODY OF WATER IN A MOVIE I JUST KNOW ITS COMING LMAO watch me not go in the water anymore after seeing that picture HHDJSJ

WHEN I READ THIS I JUST GOT DONE TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT THE MEG AND THAT SCENE WHERE THE SHARKKK JUMPEDDDD AND ATE THE OTHER ONEEEE AND THEN JONAS HAD TO DO- bro i cannot (i think that one is my favorite because i love me a bit of romance and the subtle romance hAD ME) 47 meters down PHEW could you imagine?? i try not to think too hard about it i’m like “don’t be dumb catherine, don’t put yourself in a dumb situation” (not autocorrect having “dumb bitch” ready i am not lying) and i literally understand... there is no other way to explain 47 meters down

i CANNOT watch horror movies, can’t can’t can’t, i literally hate them i cannot do it!!! the thrill is tempting and it’s cool in the moment but i cant lmao. i don’t have nightmares about scary things (for the majority of the time) but going to sleep i’m like oooohhhhhh shit 🥲 literally what you explained

music !!!! music !!!! music !!!! (u ever write a word and now it looks weird lmao) MY BROTHER DOESNT LIKE MUSIC AND ITS SHIT IM LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- anyway, my music taste is all over the place i mean......... it’s crazy. earlier today i was listening to meghan trainor’s album “title” oUT OF NOWHERE, but just a few minutes ago i was listening to fall in love with me by earth wind and fire soooo lol .. megan is *chefs kiss*, i’m not familiar with stormzy🙈, harry styles.... IM SORRY IM THAT PERSON but i don’t listen to his solo music EEK i only listen to adore you... and not that frequently... the music video freaked me out... i like niall’s solo music a lot more, which i listen to a lot more. now. one direction. favorite. please & thank you. i have a playlist called “boy bands” and it consists of one direction and the vamps (obsessed with cherry blossom btw) but as you can see my taste is all over the place!! fr fr if i sent you what apple music has as my “favorites” it went from ariana grande to carrie underwood to glee (OBSESSED DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT IT) i mean please if you let me i will nonstop (hamilton HDJSH) talk about music all day😩 & NOOO UR MUSIC IS GREAT HAHSK IM NOT A BIG RAP PERSON BUT DOJA CAT IS MY FAVORITE!!

okay good, i’m glad :) i was just nervous that you did feel that way <3 and GOT IT HAHAJ healthy pressure is always good :’) my friend got me these pens cuz i love stationary and school supplies lol and was like “now you have to write something” soooo yea i feel that! and i saw you posted the ficcccccc literally so proud of you 🥺🥺 i’m trying to decide if i read it tomorrow or tonight..... sleep or a literal beautiful creation made by the sweetest person and is v v nice smut and college!peter and 4.7k...... sleep aint really calling no more.

GIRL ALL OF MY SENTENCES ARE TOO LONG HAHAHAH IN FACT THIS IS TOO LONG SOOO (also why am i 3 days late..😑) anywho it’s 1 in the morning so <33 lovely anon

🥰

oh my god the fact that you cried nearly made me cry too😭😭🥺🥺 (also, your brother LMAO), i wasn‘t even sure if you‘d see it but i immediately thought of you so of COURSE i included you <333

the hulu police lsjsjaiaik, girl i was ready to get a hulu membership when i wanted to watch big time adolescence and i couldn‘t find it anywhereee, and when i got to the payment it said i need a bank account that‘s based in the US or whatever. like bro i was about to pay you!! but i was forced to find it somewhere (and i did, on levidia,— not that i‘ve ever used it because it‘s illegal 😤 i would never!!! i‘d rather support billion dollar companies and spend my money on watching films that i can find for free 🥰🥰🥰 not

i‘ve found chaos walking online so i‘ll watch it som time this week!! also YES TELL ME THE STORY

okay so idk if you watched/are planning on watching falcon and winter soldier but i watched the first episode the other day and they were speaking french (just a few seconds) and I UNDERSTOOD SOME WORDS DLDJDJ and i was so proud of myself. i‘ve only ever learned french with duolingo lol (i only do like 5 mins a day and that‘s why i was so surprised that i understood some of it!!). and yeah apart from latin i feel like italian, german, french and english are all similar in a sense.. i mean obviously they‘re completely different languages but for example there are some grammatical constructions in french that i think i wouldn‘t understand if i only spoke english? so when i translate those things into english you can‘t directly translate them bc you say things differently, but when i translate them into german then it makes more sense to me. idk that‘s something i noticed so i feel like if you already know multiple languages it‘s easier to learn another language compared to if you only know one language and are trying to learn a second one. even if the languages aren‘t similar then i think you get the hang of it easier.

ikd slsjsjs also i don‘t want you to think that i‘m a linguistic genius or anything lmfao, like i‘m only fluent in english and german and i‘m just a wannabe (ew that word) polyglot sksj (yes i had to google polyglot— i do think learning ancient greek would be super cool tho? like imagine studying latin AND ancient greek, whew). and honestly i don‘t think i‘ll ever be fluent in another language bc i don‘t plan on living anywhere other than germany or possibly england and i‘m not dedicated enough to properly learn any other languages esp if i don‘t have anyone to speak the language with. but i still try my best and i just love language/languages as a whole so yeah i‘m happy & just learning as much as i can dkdjh🥰

(I guess language/linguistics are/is my passion (which sounds sooo lame lmaoooo) and the word passion comes from the latin word pati (i think💀) which means to suffer, and in german passion is called Leidenschaft which basically means suffering too, idk why i‘m telling you this maybe you know it already. but ok dumb fun fact, in german you can make compound words with as many words as you like, and the longest official german word is Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz which is a law for the monitoring of labels on beef... this is such a dumb fact but i think about that word like once a day idk why dodjsjsj so... 👁👄👁)

but i‘ll stop boring you with my linguistics talk because truly i don‘t know much about languages but i am interested omg i‘m gonna shut up now.

now water + sharks. (so in non-covid times i always go to croatia with my dad during the summer, and even before ever watching a shark film i was always kind of scared in water.. but after watching so many shark films wldjdj HELP Like you know when you go deeper into the ocean and you can‘t see or feel the ground/floor? anymore.. then i just start imagining sharks. like i can‘t help it i just imagine a shark sneaking up on me or feeling something graze my foot ABD I JUST START FREAKING OUT SSKJSHSJ. idk. anyway kdkdh i do love the ocean/swimming though but the older i get the more i realise how fucking scary the ocean is ( even if we’re gonna disregard sharks)

your brother... what‘s wrong with him? HOw CAN YOU NOT LIKE MUSIC LIKE WHAT THE FAWK

OKAY BUT SAME ABOUT THE ADORE YOU MUSIC VIDEO DLDKDJSJSKSLSLKSKSJSHSH and yeah i have to say harry’s style (styles lol) as a solo artist isn‘t reaaally my cup of tea, and i only like the popular songs from his second album and the first album is only good when i‘m in the right mood (haven‘t actually listened to it in a while though, but kiwi is one of my all time favourites along with only angel but i hate the start, like it takes 40 seconds to actually begin properly). i like mgk and because of him i watched the dirt which is a film about motley crue, and now one of my favourite songs ever is same ol situation and i‘m into rock now lol. +++ justin bieber. I had a justin bieber cardboard cutout thingy😭 i was the biggest Belieber on earth when i was 13-16, but i didn‘t like his last album and tbh he‘s become a bit weird lately, BUT OH MY GOD. i Listened to his new album yesterday and i‘m in LOVE with the song hold on

i really like niall‘s music toooo!!!! And doja cat 😌😌😌😌 And THE VAMPS OG MY GOD. i got to see them live bc they were the opening/support act for little mix and ajdsjskslslsjsjsj. (Also i love concerts, some of the best memories of my life are concerts, i‘ve seen nicki minaj live 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and justin twice and my heart fills every time i think about how excited i was, it was my first concert ever (16th of September 2016 😌) and i was the happiest person alive seeing justin drew fucking bieber (even if i‘m not tooo sure about justin nowadays)

i have a confession? Idk what hamilton is. I mean I‘ve heard about it and i keep googling it but i‘ve never watched it (is it even a film???? or like a proper musical? also pls tell me you grew up with high school musical. i have a few friends who didn‘t and it makes me so sad 😭😭😭 hsm is the best thing to happen to my childhood , the sooooongs— i still listen to some of them every week or month lool they make me so happy)

(Okay wait i was about to recommend some stormzy songs but you said you‘re not that into rap so i won‘t dksksjl)

What you said about my fic AHSLSLSJB (i wasn‘t sure if you sent an ask about it earlier? idk that might have been someone else, so if it was (and you‘ve read it already) i hope you liked it sksjsj i was...... unsure about it. and i have this reeaaallly long peter fic that i started writing in december and that‘s the only peter thing i currently want to write but also i can‘t because idk how to continue kddjj.) but I’m definitely getting back into writing i have a few blurbs that i want to write so 🥰🥰🥰

Oh and pls as soon as you read this let me know: violet or yellow? (it‘s just a tiny thing for my new theme slsksj)

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Hana no Shou Yamazaki After Story Translation

My attempt at translating the 「薄桜鬼 真改 華ノ章」ステラワース早期予約特典　ブロマイド　 山崎烝 - Hakuoki Shinkai Hana no Shou Stellaworth Early Reservation Bonus Yamazaki Susumu short story from Chinese to English. 

Finally got around to finishing this... and honestly, after Saito, I like Yamazaki the most (for me, hijikata is 3rd for the feels trip, kazama is 4th for the lore and angst while harada is 5th). He’s just so adorable.... and I think his route is very sweet. Also I love how Shimada is when watching Yamazaki and Chizuru lol. 

^pic is me wanting to post this for no real reason aside from it being cute.

Anyway here’s my last post of the month so if you can, support me on ko-fi here plz~ https://ko-fi.com/V7V2W0HO also check out my “stuff i’m looking for list” if you own any cds since i am missing audio for a number of dramas i have Chinese translations for....

oh, and happy labour day weekend (well, to those that it applies to). Still really busy rn btw....

enjoy!

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Hakuoki Shinkai Hana no Shou Stellaworth Early Reservation Bonus Yamazaki Susumu After Story

Translation by KumoriYami

Yamazaki Susumu who had served as a member of the Shinsengumi's Watch/been a member of the Watch as part of the Shinsengumi for a long period of time, had been a doctor at the Yukimura clinic for half a year. And during one night——

Yamazaki, who was left alone in the clinic, heard/sensed a door open behind him.

"Susumu-san."

Looking back, standing there was his beloved wife —— Yukimura Chizuru.

"Do you want to take a break? Last night you were also reading late....

Her large eyes were full of anxiety. She looked very worried about Yamazaki.

Although he was very grateful for her taking care of him...

"Now isn't the time to sleep, I still need to remember the basics of LanXue/Western studies as quickly as possible, and I won't feel sleep at night.

[I left the term Lan Xue "蘭學” here since I'm not entirely sure of my interpretation of the phrase and put in "Western studies" since I recall that term from the game... which kinda seems to fit? Anyway, according to Wikipedia that was put through google translate, Lan Xue "refers to the Japanese Edo period by the Dutch incoming general term for Japanese academic, cultural, technological, academic literally Netherlands, the idea could be interpreted as the Western academic (referred to as oceanography ). Lanxue is a kind of learning developed by the Japanese through exchanges with the people of the island. Lanxue allowed the Japanese to understand Western technology and medicine during the period of the Edo Shogunate policy (1641-1853)." This was taken directly from from https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/蘭學.]

Yamazaki knows well that the books/studies he needs for the future will not be about Chinese medicine and acupuncture, but rather Western medicine based on LanXue/Western studies.

That said, it's not easy to understand the literature/words of a foreign country, so it is necessary to decrease [the time spent] resting to learn/study.

Chizuru, she should understand his way of thinking——.

"Please rest today."

Her admonishing tone in her speech left Yamazaki at a loss/ perplexed Yamazaki..

".....What’s going on? You wouldn't normally say that, would you?"

".............."

Her expression sank for a bit. Finally, she spoke....

"I think Susumu-san is as if he were back in the past, and I can't help but feel uneasy."

"In the past... like that?"

"Yes. Not only do you stay awake at night and give me the feeling that you were always fighting for the Shinsengumi... [it] felt that [you] were eager to die."

Hearing such an accusation without warning, Yamazaki could not say a second sentence.

However ——.

(Since I was watching my Chizuru all the time, there shouldn't be anything wrong/things should be okay) [says 我的千鶴 which is my Chizuru]

Looking back at his actions in the past months, Yamazaki deeply reflected on himself/his actions.

“Sorry, I worried you. However I'm definitely not in a hurry to die...."

His words stopped half-way. Chizuru (then) urged/pressed him [to continue] as she tilted her head.

What he said afterwards was really embarrassing, but if he didn't speak, he wouldn't be able to eliminate/dispel her worries/concerns.

"Do you remember the other day when Ibuki's wife brought their child over to play?"

"Yes, I remember it well. That child is very like his mother, truly cute/adorable."

"Seeing that child, I though: I can't allow these children to die before they grow up."

Although not all Western culture was good, he believed that Western medicine at least could help many people suffering from diseases.

"Susumu-san...."

Chizuru's eyes were full of admiration.

Then, she squinted her eyes and smiled.

"I think it's a very good idea. I also want to help my husband Susumu-san."

"Ye, yes...."

She spoke so bluntly, Yamazaki couldn't help but be confused and realized he could not remain calm.

When he heard this sentence (alt: these words) from Chizuru's lips [says mouth but I think it sounds better this way], he thought - it's truly wonderful that I chose her (alt: this might say - it's truly wonderful that she chose him) [this part of the sentence lacks pronouns... so it can be technically can be interpreted 2 ways].  

"But today please rest. It's not easy to get used to getting up in the morning and sleeping at night.... and lack of sleep can cause a misdiagnosis.

In actuality, he wanted to read more tonight....

“I know, today I will listen to you.  After all, when it comes to Western medicine, you are (my) senpai/predecessor.”

Yamazaki said that as he looked [alt: gestured, though i’m not entirely sure here] over the books.

"No, how can I be your senpai/predecessor...! I have nothing to teach Susumu-san."

"Don't be so humble. I was helped a lot by you when studying/learning Western studies.”

It's the truth, but to Chizuru, it was a very embarrassing compliment.

When he cleaned up his disk, Yamazaki thought of something.

“Speaking of which/by the way, we were just talking about Ibuki's child...”

"Yes. He is a very lovely child."

"Ah, yes.... ah. But, uh...."

Yamazaki was unable to truthfully speak about what he wanted to talk about, thus he hesitated.

Confused by his appearance, Chizuru blinked and asked.

"What's wrong? Is there something that you're worried/concerned about?"

"No, it's not...."

If spoken, would she misunderstand? This doubt kept Yamazaki quiet.

"If you want to say something, please speak. I want to know what you are thinking."

Having been urged by her, Yamazaki made up his mind to speak his thoughts.

"That.... I want/think (that) we should really consider it....."

"Consider, yes —— "

Because there wasn't an immediate indication of understanding what it meant, Chizuru looked/seemed lost for a while, then....

"Well..."

When she understood what Yamazaki wanted to say, her face was flushed. . “Oh, no! I don't mean to force you! Because it's an important time, and it's not too late to think about it before the clinic is developed.....!”

As he explained  in a panic, Chizuru spoke up.

".......I will think about it."

Her ears were red. After that, she stood up and left the study.

Only Yamazaki was left in the room.

(She said 【will consider】 does that mean....)

She is willing? Or does that mean she doesn't agree?

After that, no matter how he asked again, he did not get a clear response causing Yamazaki to spend countless nights in anguish. [:3 fufufu lol]

-fini- 

————

cyar all next month... still busy rn.... only 3 (harada, souji, heisuke) of these short stories are left from what I have been able to find... 

anyvey, i had to go and bawl my eyes out (not really, but i mean it figuratively, lol) since I finally got around to watching the Shitan Kazama-hen musical.... As a result of that, I’m now super motivated to work on my song transpositions from the original one.... as my motivation for doing arrangements was more than  dead once i lost my work since timing is seriously my bane when working on any music stuff... so hopefully i’ll be able to finish something within the next month.

再见!  

[guylty]

[Sorry for the broken promise of posting the Flat Richie update yesterday. It was a bit of a day from hell, with mother dear playing her manipulation game because she got up on the wrong side of the bed. Talking of beds, her new bed will be delivered today, and the delivery guys have given her the wonderfully exact time window of “7am to 9pm”… She’s sitting in the empty flat, waiting. Meanwhile, I am trying to organise an extra load for the 6 boxes and 6 chairs that need to be delivered to Ireland. And I am selling stuff on eBay, a bit of a practice round for three weeks from now… Otherwise the world is well because my son unexpectedly turned up here while my daughter is still here, too. I am thoroughly enjoying having my children around me for a short while…]

But now to today’s post. We last caught Flat Richie while frolicking with California girl Kathy. Transatlantic parcels take their time, but Richie made it to Korinka last week. The following is her own report, illustrated with her own pictures.

Chapter one: Where is Flat Richie?! 

Hello fellow RA fans!

So, Slovakia. We’re not a total backwater, we have internet, Air Bnbs and Starbucks, but this post-communistic country can still surprise with its laziness. Thus it happened that the first info about Flat Richie I received came from Guylty herself. See, Richie was waiting for me in my local post office, and both Kathy (who sent him a month ago from California) and Guylty knew it, but I didn’t! The post office workers just didn’t send me the yellow slip to pick him up. No idea how long he was sitting there… I finally rescued him on the 18th of July and had a chuckle when I found out from the sticker that there might be some “ass” included. Armitage ass? Anytime 😀

Chapter two: Got him! 

With Richie in my hands and shivers down my spine (not kidding, I was terribly excited) I headed straight to my parent’s, where my mum was babysitting our 16 months old charmer of a son. I explained the Flat Richie concept to her, told her how it crossed the Atlantic several times already and how we’ll get to see goodies from RA fans from all over the world. I got her quite excited too! She made me open the package right then and there and translate all the messages in the log for her. She says hi to all of you and says Flat Richie is a great idea!

Chapter three: Waiting in a special place.

Richie had to wait for more of my attention, though. I had to tackle heaps of ripe apricots that started arriving from well meaning family friends exactly when I didn’t need them to. But now I have a freezer full of fruit puree for the kiddo, which is a good thing (I sent Guylty a photo of a pot of puree that kiddo inhales in about a week). Then there were some assorted shenanigans and impromptu living room picnics (see photo of some treats that were “set free”) that both the kiddo, the dog AND the ants enjoyed very much. Oh, I do love summer! 

I planned to take the travelling shrine and the log to some good photo-op spots in Bratislava so you can see our lovely town, but it just didn’t work out. Instead of introducing you to our castle and an iconic bridge called the “UFO” (guess how it looks, hehe), I opted for a place that is special for me: my home office. I get there so rarely since kiddo’s birth that my Sons of Durin background picture is a veritable treat for me. I thought you wouldn’t mind if I just took a pic of Thorin 🙂 

I added a stock photo of Bratislava for Guylty to post here if she chooses. Google us, though, Slovakia is beautiful. We have about a hundred historical castles ranging from ruin to perfectly habitable, a lot of mineral water springs and some truly gorgeous mountain ranges.

Chapter four: Time to pick meself some goodies! 

You know, the ladies who got Flat Richie before me must be telepathic. How else would they include gifts that were so perfect for me? I’m forever an Oakenshield girl (with a dose of Mr. Thornton thrown in), so the first gift was obvious: a framed picture of Thorin that now rests in a cabinet with my favorite trinkets. I thank whomever put the cute cloud light in the box, my kiddo loves it! The last gift was easy to grab too. See, I did coloring books before they were cool… A Richard Armitage coloring book. What an idea! Here’s a pic of the coloring book with my pens ready.

Chapter five: Sail forth, Armitage in a box! 

As for the gifts that I included, I will just say that there might be a tad more Thorin inside the box than there was before, hehehe. In the end, Flat Richie stayed with me for a week and by the time I’m writing this report he hopefully arrived at his next destination. May he make all of you as happy as he made me, shivers and all! 

Love, Korinka

Big thanks to Korinka for her comprehensive report. Loved all the pictures – particularly the one of that blond cutie!!! Exact opposite of the Oakenshield, but well, I bet he could break hearts, too 😉. Also, the “ass” contained in the parcel was particularly intriguing! Hope you will have fun with your chosen gifts ❤️.

And further good news, btw. I have had word that Flat Richie has arrived at the next destination already!! We’ll hear from him at the weekend, I have been told, but in the meantime, here is the latest Flat Richie World Map:

  #FlatRichie Stop 15: Bratislava, Slovakia But now to today's post. We last caught Flat Richie while frolicking with California girl Kathy. Transatlantic parcels take their time, but Richie made it to Korinka last week.

[emigotchi]

An Open Letter to Unreasonable Cybird Haters

I’m sorry for submitting something like this to multiple blogs but it had to be said.

You seem to hate Cybird for not delivering the type of translation you want and judging by your posts you want them to google-translate everything? If that’s the translation you want then just keep google-translating all you want off public view and leave them alone, your condescending attitude is not gonna make them happily comply with your selfish and tyrannical threats.

Every sane person knows google translations are crap galore, you claiming otherwise only proves that you’re poorly educated.

Google translate was created by ppl whose main language was English, it never worked well with Asian languages bc of how fundamentally different these languages are - the concept of time, place, environment… Google translate will not tell you nuances or double meanings of words - it will pick the first option available bc it’s just a machine. (btw this is why most ppl don’t know that daku means both ‘to hug’ and ‘to sleep with’)

Your hate is not based on facts - it‘s a product of your delusions which are a result of fundamentally wrong machine translations.

By posting an opinion that goes against what most people think (yes, most ppl don’t hate Cybird! otherwise Cybird would be out of business?) you naturally invite people to disagree with you and hiding behind a “loose-translation” and “imma block u” shield is just a silly attempt to make yourself look important and at the same time not take any responsibility for your own words.

The Cybird team knows the language. They can translate without the use of machines. They definitely understand that most references elude the Western fandom. How many people did not even know that “nin nin” was a Japanese reference? You had to make a post saying “nin nin” was also mentioned in the Japanese version. That obviously means you didn’t even know what the reference is from. Isn’t it ridiculous that you complain the game doesn’t make use of all its Japanese references, and instead adapts it to Western ones but you don’t even know a Japanese reference when you see one? This is why some parts are changed to make sure everyone understands and enjoys a scene.

Please be a little more respectful to people who know their work. Unless you have the capacity to translate and understand the language at their level, please sit down and keep your accusations of accuracy to yourself.

______________________________________________________________

Dear Cybird fan, 

Thank you for taking the time to write such a lengthy letter and for sharing your feelings about the situation concerning translations. Considering that you are speaking to multiple people, I am uncertain if you addressing me directly or if you are just hoping that I will spread the word for you. 

You start by saying  “ You seem to hate Cybird for not delivering the type of translation you want and judging by your posts you want them to google-translate everything?” I do not remember posting anything about translation other than the few occasional Google flubs because, as you mentioned, Google translate is not the best tool for translating. If you are referring to a post that an Anon sent me about what Ieyasu said in Mitsunari’s route, I believe that this person had every right to share their thoughts just like you are sharing yours. Furthermore, if I actually hated Cybird as much as you say I do, I would have stopped playing their games and would not have bothered posting anything about Mitsunari’s route.

I’m pretty busy so I apologize for being unable to grace your letter with an appropriate response. However, know that I (and I’m certain others) could have done without the ad hominem. I’m quite saddened to see that this whole translation issue has escalated into a war where both sides simply send vicious comments at each other. Because yes, both sides have gotten nasty with each other. 

And once again, I apologize, Cybird fan, because you are barking up the wrong tree.

[sinner-orion]

Please give me your opinions

Ey I really know I have lots of asks, but I dont have time to answer them, sorry, dont worry I will answer them when I have the time, I promise!!

Btw, please would any of you tell me what y’all think about this thing I wrote for my spanish class (I translated it with the google doc translation and edited it so it makes sense but there are some things that only makes senses in spanish like “ladybug” in spanish is Mariquita, and that word is used too to insult gay people ; I think a close translation is “sissy”; is like a uh is bad if straight people use it, but not if lgtb people use it okay?) Dont spect a good translation anyway...

so yeah, please read it, is really fast to read and its short, and i want others opinions. Its gonna be long so I will put it under Read more.

                                                      I breathe

Sunsets without feelings, sadness without color, I can not breathe and I want to finish.

Do I need this or that? How is this even an option? Who are those with an option?

Tell me, please, I wish I could have it, but why is not that my case?

I walk aimlessly, I'm out, and my life is not mine, nor yours, whose is it? Who does this to me?

I go thinking and believing, what do I believe? I do not know ... I do not know ... Everything is so ambiguous, everything is so open and closed at the same time; I wish I could have it.

It arrived, my house, my destiny, it is at night, or perhaps during the day; depends on the animal, owl or sparrow, firefly or ladybug. The time does not matter.

I enter.

Screams and noises fill me and welcome, is this happiness or anguish?

Sweet cries and cries of welcome, home sweet home. This is my place, without a doubt, this is where I have to find peace and security.

I lie down, is this my room? I think so, although it does not matter.

I close my eyes.

*

* *

I'm out, how much time has passed?

No matter.

Everything is so big, am I the same person? What is it to be me? I ... I am me, does that mean anything? I do not think so ... I wish I had it; I wish I found it.

Ugh, what a shit!

I scream, I cry, I break things, am I my home?

Why do I do this? Everyone looks at me, I should stop, this is not right, I have to control myself, stop, stop, why do not you stop? This is crap, I'm telling you, shit!

I'm fed up, or fed up? What is it that I am? I'm not human, am I? Who can corroborate it? Nobody has seen me, or will see me, maybe it's owl, although they are very intelligent.

Maybe that sparrow, but they are adorable and free.

Maybe it's a firefly! Although I do not like to emit a lot of light.

Will I be a ladybug? This is horrible, this is horrific.

Ladybug? They are cute and small, but if they call me, I am disgusted and we are too many.

Do they crush me? I die

Flight? I die if I get too close.

They see me? I do not want stupid questions, thank you stay with them.

I close my eyes, they are so many questions, I can't stand it.

I wish, I wish ...

I open my eyes.

My home, sweet home home, I'm not well, is it? No matter.

I get to my room, my bed, I close my eyes, it does not matter, it does not matter, it does not matter, it has always been that way, more than 50 years have passed and it has always been that way, it does not matter.

I see through the window; It's so pretty ... Cars to the side, vans, trucks, everything so fast, cries, buildings, houses, shacks, screams, airplanes, children, people, objects, people, run, laugh, cry, scream, jump, dogs, animals , cats, sparrows, cries, cries, screams, cries, screams- This is great!

This is fine, and I know, it has always been that way.

It's so relaxing, I forget everything that worries me.

What is that? My eyes are directed at something small, red, black ...

I lose myself and fall, I fall ...

I want, I want ...

Please, I want it, I can not leave it, I do not want to leave it, is this what one feels in an utopia? Who can deny me that this is not utopia?

Cries of happiness and cries of joy, modernity everywhere, equality among all, is not that what I have here?

Young people of all ages ... Maybe it's utopia for people, and I'm not a person ... Maybe that's why I do not have it ... But I want it, and what do I want? Is it the same as them? Or is it something different for me? Fuck! Shit! Why can't I shut up !?

It's so noisy, I'm noisy, me and only me ...

What would be wrong with the rest? At least they are person and I sissy ...

Why does it offend me to say it? It's normal, they've seen that I'm not a person, but a bug ...

Why am I like that? Why? Why ...

I do not want this anymore, fuck! This is crap! I want to be a person! I'm noisy but I'm sick of being home, is that what I am? Screams and cries? I've always seen it so normal, everywhere in this great utopia ...

I want it, I WANT IT!

I'm going to fight.

I leave my room, I cry, I scream, inside my house, I want to break these walls, scream more, crack, a crack, a wall, scrash, plam, windows, doors, everything falls.

Silence.

Now there is silence. Is this what I wanted? ... Yes, I have an answer. Yes, I wanted this, they have shut up, there is nothing and nobody.

I close my eyes; Is this being a person? Yes, I am a person.

This is my utopia, I am a person, I am free-

Streak.

I open my eyes.

*

*

*

My bed, a familiar face wakes me up, says words, but I do not listen.

His hand, a pill, my hand, my mouth, I swallow.

I smile, screams and crying, this is an utopia.

Is this real or fiction?

Owl or ladybug?

Believe or not believe?

Happiness or anguish?

Want or fight?

I breathe, I go out, I walk ...

This is everyone's utopia.