#btw all those sentences and this were all typed with my eyes closed

[princessofgotham777]

Dating Jason Todd (Part Twelve)

fanfic type: angst, fluff, comfort (ongoing)

If you liked the Titans show but wish they handled Jason’s story line differently you might like this fic!

Hey so this is in fact my first time writing fanfiction (idk what my life has come to). Sorry if it’s cringy but also I would eat this up cause I LOVE some good angsty comfort fanfiction. I won’t write smut. I don’t think I’m gonna do requests but if you have any ideas feel free to let me know. Also of course I don’t own any DC characters this is purely fanfiction. Thank you and I hope you enjoy. (I hope you like run-on sentences💀) (if you don’t like it don’t be rude just move on dude😃🧍‍♀️)

So story line, this doesn’t really take place in any specific universe but I’m gonna be pulling concepts from Titans, Arkham Knight, The Batman, Under the Red Hood, and whatever lore I remember from the CW shows cause I grew up watching those, then just my imagination of course. Reader is referred to as she/her btw.

Warnings: talking about death, suicide, depression, torture (it’s not graphic I hate gore it’s just sad), talking about intimacy (not graphic), struggling with eating, topics of grief, violence, panic attacks, PTSD, brief talking about rape (reader recalls a time she helped Catwoman kill a rapist)

Part Twelve: Prince of Gotham

You’d fallen asleep rather peacefully. If only the dream you found yourself in was equally as peaceful. You were back in the abandoned wing of Arkham, holding Jason.

“Please…I’m not ready to die,” he cried. The bloody “J” engraved on his face was wet with tears.

“I’m sorry,” you cried.

“Please Y/N, please help me,” he cried. You closed your eyes and rocked back and forth as he died in your arms. You opened them and were faced with his lifeless corpse. You screamed in horror.

Dick shakes you awake as he says, “Y/N! Y/N!” You begin hyperventilating. “Hey it’s okay, it’s okay,” he says as he sits with you. You calm down but he still wears a grave look.

“What is it?” You ask.

“The notes, Chicago police found new Joker notes here,” he says.

“Shit,” you say as you jump out of bed.

“There’s something else,” he says.

“What?” You ask.

“The note was signed by Joker…and Poison Ivy,” he says. Your face goes pale with shock.

“I thought she was locked up,” you say.

“She got out,” he says. You close your eyes trying not to cry.

“Right so what’s the plan then?” You ask in a defeated tone.

“We’re gonna go back to Gotham, to stay at the manor. At least there we can all work together,” he says.

“Okay,” you say meekly. You then notice Dick is fully dressed; not in pajamas. You throw on Jason’s leather jacket and grab your bag. He and you then get in his silver Porsche and head back to Gotham City.

When you get to the manor it’s like a living nightmare. Thea and Roy had to go back to Star city to help Oliver deal with Damien Dark. So it was just the titans, Donna, Bruce and Alfred; and they were all in mission mode. You all gathered in the batcave to discuss the note. It said, “even though the bird is dead, there will be more dread, once the kitten is taken, bonds will be broken, know that I’m not joking.”

“Doesn’t Poison Ivy hate the Joker?” Donna says.

“She does,” a voice you don’t recognize says. Out from the shadows of the batcave comes a short slim woman wearing leather pants and a form fitting leather coat. It’s Selina Kyle, Catwoman.

“Selina?” Bruce says surprised. “How did you-“ he begins to say.

“Relax honey, I come in peace,” she says calmly. “I’m just delivering a little message for Ivy; she wanted me to drop by and say she had nothing to do with Jokers little note.”

“Why would we believe her,” you say.

“Believe what you want Y/N, just remember she’s not the one who put Jason in the ground,” she says as she walks up the stairs.

“Right I’ll talk with her later for now focus on the note,” Bruce says. How you hated him ordering everyone around.

“When Y/N first started out the media thought she was Catwoman then they figured out she wasn’t so they called her “the mystery archer”,” Dick says.

“Original,” Gar says.

“So Y/N is the kitten in the note since the media sees her as a second Catwoman of sorts,” Kori says.

“Right and Jason is the Robin he’s talking about,” Donna says.

“Basically he’s gonna try to kidnap Y/N,” Rachel says. Your head feels fuzzy, you can’t listen anymore. You quietly slip out of the room, you were beginning to remember your talent for disappearing.

Upstairs you find Selina in the parlor.

“What are you really doing here?” You ask her.

“Maybe I’m just worried about my protege,” she says with a smirk.

“We went out once together years ago, you barely even taught me anything,” you say.

“Wrong, I taught you how to disappear. And if you’re smart you’ll go hide somewhere Joker won’t think to look. This stupid house can’t protect you and you know it; plus I can see it in your eyes that everyone’s driving you crazy,” she says.

“Why do you care Selina?” You ask.

“You know I’ve never been one to stick to one side, I work with Harley and Ivy but that doesn’t mean I agree with everything they do,” she says. “Plus replacement Robin actually got things done, he wasn’t afraid of a little blood; so I just came to give some friendly advice.”

“Thank you,” you say softly.

“I would say you can come to my place but I don’t think you want to risk a reunion with Ivy,” she says.

“Yeah I’m good,” you say. “I know a spot and sorry if when I go missing they think you kidnapped me.”

“Don’t worry about it, stay safe little cat,” she says. You and Selina had met a few times in the past. Once you helped her take down a couple of guys who raped one of her friends. And by take down, you mean you helped her hide the bodies. Batman never found out you did that, he wouldn’t approve. Dick and Thea don’t even know; only Jason knew. You aren’t ashamed of your part in their death, those guys had it coming. You just didn’t want Dick or Thea to see you differently. You didn’t exactly tell Jason, he found out back when he was Robin. You were worried he’d tell Bruce but he simply said if there’s ever a next time he’ll help you.

You quickly grabbed your bag and headed to the garage; not the one attached to the batcave, the one attached to Wayne manor. You’d been on Jason’s motorcycle many times and he taught you how to drive it. This wasn’t the exact one you learned to drive but it would have to do. You got on the bike and headed to your destination, Iceberg Lounge.

Two days since you left Wayne Manor.

The Iceberg Lounge: top floor consisting of partying the violence and pain of living in Gotham away and the basement consisting of the minds that create all the violence and pain in Gotham discussing their next move. You heard the club was under new management and Penguin was missing. You figured the last place Joker would look for you is at the most infamous nightclub in Gotham; and if all else failed you could always just blend into the crowd. You changed in a near by alley, your outfit now consisting of a black mini skirt and lace black strapless top. With the set you wore your fighting boots in case you needed to make a quick get away. You stashed your bag in a vent and then let the crowd swallow you.

The blaring techno music made your head pound. You’d been to the Iceberg before many times with Thea; dispite Oliver’s warnings and pleas for you two to stay away from Penguin’s territory. Looking around the room you saw people dancing in pure bliss. Some were high on snakebite; others high on the music. You knew in your heart no drug or song could mend the wound Jason’s loss has created in your heart. Regardless of your acknowledgement that nothing could take the pain away, you dance.

The music is so loud you can feel the waves of vibration floating through your body. You feel a faint vibration from your boot pocket. You quickly check and it’s Dick calling you, you ignore it. He’s called you about one hundred times the past few days and so have Rachel, Thea, Kori and Gar. After you stand all the way back up you notice someone watching you from the balcony above the dance floor. He’s wearing a suit and a red mask covers half his face. His eyes are hidden behind tinted red lenses, he’s unrecognizable. Fear washes over you at the thought he could be one of Jokers guys. You dance further into the club to better use the crowd as coverage. You had never been this deep in the club before but you’d heard some pretty fucked up things were known to happen. People overdosing on snakebite, people going missing, deals happening; the iceberg had all the crime in Gotham packed into one nightclub.

You’d officially lost track of time, you weren’t sure how long you’d been relying on the people dancing around you to hold your tired body up. You knew as soon as you left the crowd you’d drop. You climbed the stairs to the balcony that wrapped around the inside of the club. Your boots banged against the metal floor as you walked past people doing snakebite and making out. You leaned against the wall and sank to the floor.

You passed out but were only asleep for a few minutes. You felt someone’s cold hand shaking your arm trying to wake you. You opened your eyes and saw the man with the red mask. He pulls you off the ground, you’re so out of it you barely register what’s going on. You try to throw yourself away from him but you fail.

“I’m not gonna hurt you,” the robotic voice says.

“I’m supposed to believe that,” you say out of breath. You pass out and he gently catches you.

When you wake up you’re in Penguins old office. You take note of the fact that you’re not restrained, a good sign.

“Who the fuck are you?” You say coughing. He doesn’t answer, he simply opens a bottle of water and hands it to you. “I have a boyfriend by the way, I’ll stab your fucking eyes out if you try anything,” you say.

“What’s your boyfriend’s name?” the man asks.

You are quiet for a moment, not out of hesitation, out of sadness. “Jason,” you say. You become more awake. The lighting in here is better than the actual club and you notice a white streak in the man’s hair. You mentally go through every criminal, anti-hero and hero you’ve met but you still don’t know who he is. “Why are you helping me?” You ask him. He says nothing. “Why were you watching me?” You ask.

“You should be more careful, this place is dangerous,” he says.

“I can take care of myself,” you say.

“So where is your boyfriend anyway?” He asks.

You don’t know what to say, the answer of course is that Jason is dead but you know you shouldn’t be truthful. “He’s on his way to pick me up,” you say as you start walking towards the door. He grabs your arm, not harshly just enough so you stop walking away. Standing so close to him you swear he’s familiar. He simply stares at you for a moment. You wish you could see his eyes then maybe you could tell who he is. He lets you go and you hurry away back into the crowd.

Hey, I hope you enjoyed the fic if you did please like. If you want to keep up to date with the series please follow me. Any positive feedback is much appreciated, it encourages me to keep writing and posting parts. I have a lot more ideas to develop the Redhood plot and then also I have another fic idea that would be a prequel to this (it will be how reader meets Jason and Dick and becomes a titan). Then I also have another idea for a reader x Jason story which would be separate from this one. If any of that sounds interesting please check out my Masterlist and follow me🩷

Here’s a link to my Masterlist if you want to check it out.

Masterlist

[novemberhope]

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

That's 21 sentences I guess 😂

This is refering to this post btw.

“Name’s Calamity Star, but you can call me Star. And you are?” “Nami,” she replied, looking around with curiosity. “Nami,” Star repeated. “That’s a pretty name for a pretty lady. Now, Nami,” she continued, “what was a sweet thing like you doing in that den of vipers?” Nami swallowed, trying to regain her composure. "I… I might have gotten a little lost, and… and maybe I wanted someone to point me in the right direction…” Star chuckled. "Lost, huh? Well, that’s a mighty fine excuse, but I reckon you were looking for more than just directions. Those pirates don't take kindly to strangers sniffin' around their loot." "And you do?" Nami countered, raising an eyebrow. "Depends on the stranger," Star grinned, taking a step closer. “You, for example; I'd be happy to give you all the attention you want.” Nami blushed slightly, her hands going to her hips. “Well, I was… looking for some money. This was a gambling saloon, was it not?” “Gambling, huh?” Star’s eyebrow rose. “You don’t look like the type to play cards.” “I’m not,” Nami said, a hint of a challenge in her tone. “I’m… good at other things.”  “Oh?” Star stepped closer. “Like what, darlin’?” She could see her blushing again and found it adorable. “What about you? What are you doing out here? You’re very good with a gun.” “Learned from the best,” Star winked, a playful grin spreading across her face, “My grandpa was a legend. Taught me everything I know. The rules of this land are easy to understand, and if you don't play by them, well, you will be shot.” She shrugged with a lightness that didn't match her serious tone. “And as for what I’m doing out here… I’m just making sure our little town stays… relatively safe.” Nami met her stare. "And what do you usually do with strangers on this island, Miss Star?" she asked. Star smiled which lit up her whole face. "Oh, I usually show 'em the finer points of this land… how to survive, how to shoot a gun, how to maybe…" She paused, leaning closer, "…have a good time." Before Nami could ask more, however, the sound of approaching voices reminded them of their current situation. The pirates, clearly not giving up so easily, were still hot on their trail. “Looks like our little chat will have to wait,” Star said, grabbing Nami's hand. “Up to the loft. Quick.” “What about your hor---” Star's horse was used to these kinds of adventures by now. He disappeared into the night, leaving no trace behind. The two girls ran into the barn and scrambled up the ladder to the hayloft, the scent of dust and old straw filling the air. They settled behind a stack of hay bales, their bodies pressed close to one another. “Stay quiet, sweet pea,” Star whispered, her breath tickling Nami's ear. "They get real mean when they can’t find what they want." Nami nodded. She peeked through the hay, her eyes wide with a mix of fear and a touch of excitement. She couldn't help but wonder about this strange young woman who had saved her. Star, on the other hand, wanted to protect this beautiful stranger from the dangers of her world, and wanted to discover all of her secrets. Surely she was not alone. There were rumors of a group of young pirates stiring up trouble in town a day or two ago. Was she one of them? She certainly was not from around here. The pirates’ voices grew louder below, their heavy footsteps echoing on the barn floor, yet Star was completely fixated on the way Nami was looking at her. A small smile played on her lips. She could not deny the chemistry between them. Did she dare trust this pretty stranger? And Nami, her heart pounding, couldn't help but wonder if she could trust the mysterious gunslinger with the freckled face and the mischievous glint in her eyes.

[niziye]

Omg

I read your thing abt Kai’s changing eye colour being due to abbey experiments and can I just say I am on the same frikin wavelength 😭😭😭😭 heck I even believe that the front grayish part of his hair was also due to the weird experiments

Forgive my rambling but oh my god it’s an HC very dear to me that Kai’s eyes turned crimson when black drawn we was split from dranzer during abbey experimentation, so his eyes are pure red to show that the “darkness” of his bit beast no longer exists.

I wanted to ask about your HC’s on the matter, I’m sure it’s interesting!

Love your art a lot btw keep slaying!

Wah, thanks for sending an ask ✨✨

Firstly, english is not my first language, so I'm using the good old translator and reviewing the things I know.

I love HC about the duality of Dranzer and Black Dranzer, so your HC about color reflecting the lack of counterpart is sublime. I loved this 🌟

To be very hosnestly about this HC (abt Kai's eye color change), I think it's incredibly common, but at the same time I don't see much about it out there. I wonder if it's because it's something very implicit in the fandom or it's just in my head lol

I've had that for a while actually, and several other things. I liked to use some of them when I was writing fanfics many years ago, nowadays they just gather dust in my notes 🍃

The fact that Kai's eyes change color I attribute to two things: 1) her state in relation to the control of Dranzer or Black Dranzer - and any versions of her - that are from another HC, and 2) the experiments at the Abbey. So I'm focusing on that second one.

Lesgo

✦ Kai began receiving medical treatment after the events of the first season in the Russian championship.

✦ He developed some late symptoms due to the lack of certain substances and one of the side effects was the change in the color of his eyes and the tone of his hair.

✦ This also happened to Tala and Bryan, it depends on the type of substance used and how long they were exposed.

✦ To alleviate symptoms, both physical and mental, a medical treatment provided by BBA in association with Miss Judy was developed.

✦ This treatment was difficult to achieve for the simple fact that the substances used were known only to Balkov scientists. At the time the majority were in prison, so Mr D had to give in to certain "methods" which included special treatment and reduced sentences.

✦ Ironically, Kai was a guinea pig even with the fall of Voltaire and Balkov, because even the emergency treatment was experimental.

✦ At first he took a lot of medicine, vials, packs and even injections. He was troublesome at first, but about two years in he managed to stabilize. Medications have also been used to try to improve the symptoms of amnesia.

✦ He still carries bottles with him, but only those for daily consumption.

✦ From time to time he finds flaws in his hair, sometimes strands appear in different tones or are "switched". He knows when he is close to undergoing another change by observing the roots of his hair and around the pupils of his eyes. (I find the idea that he actually "checks" very funny xD).

✦ Since he wears reading glasses, the contact lenses excuse is quite convenient.

✦ Sometimes the medicines are not enough to control some symptoms such as dizziness and tremors and he needs a few days off. Some medicines are really potent and he is often warned by his doctor not to exceed his limits, not when it comes to his medications and rest.

✦ At some point he was asked why he took medicine, to which he replied that they were, in fact, vitamins for your training, until one time Max secretly took a pill - they were for insomnia - and slept for a whole day. This caused quite a bit of confusion and so sermons and admissions were made.

- note: of course I'm going to use Kai's appearance in V-force to promote HC, it's convenient that this part of the story also works as a transition.

Sooooo

I consider this summary to be quite superficial, If I count all the side effects, we will have enough drama for the rest of the year (and I'm not even counting the Borg boys) bwahaha

Please forgive me for any translation errors 🙇🙇

[sinclarify]

WAIT OMG I DIDNT FINISH THIS BUT!!!!!!!!!! hwre's a little cutesy thing i wrote featuring two of my sillays (the not evil ones). this does not happen in the actual universe btw. in universe theyre too busy dying. god i love them

The night was uncharacteristically warm. Not warm in the literal sense - Ami felt shivers dance down her spine as the breeze swept through, winding and crashing down onto every inch of her body. No, not warm in the literal sense, but there was absolutely no denying the spark that had ignited deep within her: gentle, dancing twin flames occupied with their own tantalising waltz. 

It seemed as if everything was swept up in a dance, now that she looked further; of course, the stars winked at each other as they bowed, pirouetting around each other with all the grace and refinement one would expect of a prima ballerina. Even the grass flirted with the wind, swaying ever-so-softly beneath its cool embrace. Yes, this entire landscape was nothing short of a ballroom, and who would Ami be if she didn't join in with the festivities?

She wasn't alone, after all - a worthy partner sat mere metres away from her, and though Ami wasn't even sure if he was the dancing type, there'd surely be no harm in simply... asking. Besides, the chance of seeing Tatsuya stumble all over himself was too tempting of a situation for her to just pass up!

 …And perhaps she caught herself thinking that it wasn't just his embarrassment that she wanted to witness, but also the feeling of being close to him, her hands on his as they moved together... but she shook those thoughts out of her head immediately, trying to make the pink flush that suddenly adorned her face go back down as she scrambled to her feet,  stumbling towards him until the two were face-to-face.

It was only in that moment that she realised she'd been holding in a breath, the rhythmic beating of her heart providing the bassline for the melody carried by the wind - and God, when he looked up at her, his head tilted with a curious distinction, she could have sworn that she felt the ground quake beneath her. Nonetheless, she swallowed down the lump in her throat along with all of her inhibitions, stretching her hand out to his with a wide grin.

"Hey, Tatsuya. You up for a dance?"

Despite her nervousness, her words rang as clear as ever as they carried through to Tatsuya. It seemed like he hadn't fully processed the request, though -  his head remained tilted, his eyebrows furrowed slightly as he parted his lips to speak, but to no avail. Just as Ami's breath began to hitch in her throat, he let out a noise that sounded awfully like a mix between a laugh and a hum. Even in the darkness of the night, Ami could notice the blush that had scattered across his pale face.

"Dance? I, uh- Miss Takahashi, I'm not- I don't dance..." 

 He was stumbling over his words like he'd never spoken a sentence in his life, and Ami couldn't help but giggle as she noticed the flush on his face turn an even deeper crimson. In this moment, she wasn't thinking at all; with  a teasing click of her tongue and a roll of her eyes, she bent down, grabbed his hands in hers and pulled him up, the gap between them only being filled by the rushing of air that twisted its way between their two bodies. She sucked in a sharp breath.

"Maybe I can teach you, then."

She knew she was getting in over her head. She knew that she may have been asking for too much, letting her own teen-fantasy-esque desires get the better of her... but God, she was too swept in with the moment to even care, and as Tatsuya's gaze lingered against her own for just a second too long before flickering back to the floor, a sheepish, crooked grin flashing on his face, there was only one thing on her mind: just for this one night, she was going to make Tatsuya Fujiwara her own. Once more, she let in a sharp intake of breath, nodding her head with an insurmountable determination. 

“I'm not very good myself, but… just follow my lead, anyway! We’ll figure it out!”

She looks to him once more to make sure he’s comfortable - it’s always quite difficult reading Tatsuya’s emotions, but she seems to have a pretty good grasp of it, and judging by the way his stare softens ever-so-slightly, the tremor of his hands calming to just a small, barely noticeable vibration, it’s safe to say he’s okay with the whole situation. So, she takes his hand in hers for the second time, tentatively placing it on her waist and holding it there – and she’s quite sure that Tatsuya did not expect this at all,  the action completely frying his poor brain! His Adam's apple visibly bobs in his throat as he swallows down the lump lodged in there, the pure heat emanating from his flustered face warming Ami right through to her bones.

“Is that okay, Tatsuya?” she loosens her grip on his hand, her words laced with nothing but pure gentleness, “If it makes you uncomfortable, you can just put your hands on my shoulders or something! It’ll work the same, it really doesn’t matter!”

Tatsuya doesn’t respond straight away, still trying to calm down the sporadic beating of his own heart… the words seem to get caught in his throat, too, and all he’s able to do at that moment is clear his throat, eyes flickering down to the floor, because he's not entirely sure if he could look at Ami without actually malfunctioning. Nonetheless, he manages to pull himself together… in somewhat of a bold move, – in his standards, at least – he presses shaky hands back down onto her, meeting her gaze for just a split second before it immediately shoots back down to the floor. 

"No, Miss Takahashi, it's– it's alright. I can do this."

Oh? Ami's stunned in place for a couple seconds, blinking slowly as she tries to register exactly what he just said and did. It's so utterly out of character for somebody like him – which, she supposes, is what makes it all the more endearing, and all of a sudden, there's a flurry of butterflies swarming her stomach, and she thinks for a second that she might be sick right then and there. She can't stop herself from smiling, though, head dropping for just a second before it pops back up again, a short giggle bubbling through her. 

"Okay! Okay, that's…great. Now, I'll just.."

She hesitates for a second before lifting her hands off of Tatsuya's, reaching up towards his shoulders. Her original plan was to just place them separately on each of his shoulders… but she can't ignore the part of her that wants to put her arms around his neck, the part of her that wants any possible distance between them to be closed completely, so that he'll have all her attention – not that he doesn't already, of course, but still… Ami thinks she deserves this little act of selfishness. So she caves,  wrapping both arms around his neck, trying her best to keep herself stable amid the dizzying state her body seems to find itself in. To her surprise, Tatsuya settles into the touch pretty quickly – he tenses up at first, but all of that seems to  melt away in a matter of seconds, and she swears she can see the corner of his lips twitch upwards into a smile.

[unluckyhoneybee]

From the Dining Table (Daniel Ricciardo)

Even when you and Danny broke up months ago, you can't avoid ending up with him each time you see. Angst + Smut.

From the Dining Table by Harry Styles.

Note: Requested. I'm sorry if it took too long. It's difficult to write about songs sometimes (I will only accept songs if I like them, btw) (PIC)

Warnings: +18. Brief descriptions of sex scenes. Alcohol consumption.

When he opened his eyes, reality hit him.

Your hands around his neck. The movement of your hips as you rode him slowly, just like he liked it. The curve of your chest and the shape of your waist. He could even feel your teeth leaving those deep purple marks on his chew right over his heart. He could taste you on his lips.

It was a dream. He was in the States and you were at home. But most important. You weren't his anymore.

He groaned and turned in bed, painfully hard on his underwear. What was he expecting? The dream had been so real he could have even come untouched. A cold shower could make it.xxxxx

He went there and opened the water. It fell over his black curls and he sighed. He couldn't belive how much he missed you. How much he missed sharing this with you. The vivid image of you two together under the shower for the last time came to his mind. Nothing had happened yet. You were still happily together.

He remembered how you knelt in front of him, how sweetly you smiled when he brushed your lips. He remembered the way your eyes closed shut as you took him deep in your throat. The moans you made as you blowed him were the thing he loved the most.

And there he found himself, forehead against the cold wall, warm water falling on his shoulders and his hand around the painful hard on. He tried to think of someone else, the girl he fucked last week or the one who kept sending nudes to him. No. They weren't you.

Woke up alone in this hotel room

Played with myself, where were you?

Fell back to sleep, I got drunk by noon

I've never felt less cool

The beer was empty, it was past midnight and there weren't more. The last one. He was pissed drunk but he kept thinking of you.

.......................................

You didn't expect to find him in Monaco. Max told you he barely lived in there anymore. Not since... Max didn't finish the sentence. You didn't need him to.

Daniel was leaning against the bar, there was a girl next to him. She was pretty. Not his type though. You well knew what his type was. You well knew that he only had eyes for you. And as he took a sip from his drink, you walked to him. You leaned on the bar next to him, almost ignoring his figure. He is watching you.

Daniel loved you so fucking much. You looked perfect. Make up and hair on point and just how you loved it. The dress was new, he thought he had never seen it before. He felt jealous of the person who would take it off you later that night.

Daniel was waiting. You were the one who left. You were the one who cut things if after that last fight. You were the one who cried and felt hurt although you had been just as bad as him. He really had nothing to say. He had said it all that night.

We haven't spoke since you went away

Comfortable silence is so overrated

Why won't you ever be the first one to break?

Even my phone misses your call, by the way

You turned your face to him and smiled. Oh boy, how much you missed his soft eyes.

There was still something there. Two months later you could both feel it. Nothing had changed.

"How are you?" He finally gave up. He couldn't have you there, a millimetre away from him, and not say anything.

"I'm... Fine." You said. "How are you, Dan?"

"I've been better" He chuckled and drank from his beer.

You felt that sting on your heart. He won't hide it, not from you.

"Yeah... It's not easy"

He waited. Just say it. I'll have you back if you say it, YN.

Two days after the disastrous break up, he had reached to you. He wasn't expecting to make up the fight and go back to you. He just had this knot on his throat and needed to tell you how sorry he was. He didn't got the same back.

"It's not" He said as you did say those words. Michael keep telling him to move on from you. He had to keep leaving. What you two had was over. You didn't even want to admit you were sorry, how could you even want to get back to him? "It's not easy"

You bit your lip. It hurt so bad to see him like this. He was pure sunshine and now... You broke him. And you did it on purpose.

"I miss you" He said. Michael would definitely punhc him after this.

You looked at him and fuck. You missed him too. You missed him so bad. But this was what you got for treating him like shit, for behaving like a teen and not solve your problems with him. For running away.

It happened fast. You hands curled around his face and soon you were kissing.

Once on his apartment, he fuck you hard and deep. He wrapped his fingers around your neck and made you look at him in the eyes. He wanted toake you break first. He wanted the first I still love you to come out of you.

He kissed you deep and whispered in your ears, he had you under his spell. You were all moans ans whimpers. You missed him so much.

"Danny"

"Yes, tell me" He said pulling you leg up higher. The new spot he reached made you moan high.

"I'm gonna cum. I'm gon a cum Danny"

He groaned.

"Tell me you miss me." He pleaded while looking at your face.

But you couldn't. The orgasm washed over you. You grabbed into him, fingers digging on his skin and surely leaving marks. He came soon after, gasping for air and looking for your lips. He sealed them on a kiss. It tasted like glory, like the good old times, those memories you had with him. Then he pulled back and looked into your eyes.

Daniel brushed your nose with his. How could he let you go now? Then you reached to caresse his face and he had to pull away. This was a mistake.

A mistake that repeated after you two found each other in London for a birthday party. He fucked you on his car, parked in the middle of nowhere like when you had just started dating.

Then you made another mistake in Monaco after the race, Max had invited you to a yacht and Daniel was obviously at the party too. The toilet was a small cabin and it was uncomfortable as hell, but you soon find yourself laughing as he fucked you. It was so warm. Just like it was before. And he adored you. He could barely let you go once you opened the door to leave.

The biggest one was when he found you on Monaco. He was on a quick run to the supermarket and you were on your way home, your apartments were close.

"Hey"

"Hi, Daniel"

"How are you?" It felt weird to ask. Only a few weeks ago you had been together.

"Good. I think I'm getting a promotion"

And his smile grew so big.

"OH come here, I knew you would"

He hugged you and you closed your eyes. You missed him. You missed him like mad. There is when you made the mistake.

"Do you wanna... I don't know. Come home or something?"

"What?"

"We can open a bottle of wine"

He nodded and bit his lip.

Two cups were enough to loose a bit. Before even pouring the third, you were already on his lap. And it was probably the best sex you had since you broke up.

It happened once on the sofa. You were both too impatient to go somewhere else. His hands were everywhere and his lips left marks all over your chest. He still had his trousers down on his thighs as you rode him deep and slowly. Just as you had missed it, you let your hands wander over his hair and neck. And it was awesome.

Then in your bedroom. Daniel laid you facedown on the mattress and with all his body pressed down on yours, he fucked you until you had tears in your eyes. You had a smile on your face and he turned you around and kissed your lips.

In moments like those, Daniel forgot you weren't his anymore. He forgot you haven't been together for months. He forgot you weren't his girlfriend anymore. He was just there. He loved you and he showed on the best way he knew. He forgot it wasn't supposed to happen and how you were still so stubborn to even say you were sorry. He forgot about that last fight, cruel words and tears. He forgot about how you pushed him away, screamed at his face and then left.

Meanwhile, you felt like you couldn't breathe. He was hugging you, playing with your hair and kissing your face like he used to. And you felt like shit. It had been you. What started like a normal argument between you two, something you were disagreeing about, ended like the worst fight ever in your relationship. You ha exploded. You didn't even know where those feelings were coming from. You just knew you were frustrated, the whole situation about his seat had been tiring you a lot. You threw it all on him. He got angry and you for even angrier, and then you started talking. Your pride was big. You said horrible things and ended up breaking down. Then he tried to at least tell you he was sorry and you? You just ignored him. Now you felt like you didn't deserve this care. You didn't deserve his hand on your hair and his lips on your cheek.

Daniel stayed for the night. He left early in the morning after saying goodbye with a kiss and smiling at you like he used to. You dreamt about him. About him going for a run and coming back to you. About him being there when you woke up getting something nice for breakfast. But he wasn't. You only found silence in your empty apartment.

...

Daniel knew about you only a few weeks later. Scotty had told him you had talked a bit. He mentioned some Mark guy. He said you were together there doing groceries. Daniel felt as if his friend had stabbed him in the heart.

But it was worst when he saw Mark. Because he knew him. You worked together. Daniel had had dinner with him. He knew Mark and he didn't like him. And at that moment Mak was in front of him on the street, close to your apartment and too early in the morning wearing one of his t-shirts. Not one of his merch t-shirts. Daniel remembered well that one. It was his. You loved it and he ended up gifting it to you because you loved it so much for sleeping. You always said you felt so warm and comfortable with it and didn't miss him that much if you were wearing it. Why the fuck was Mark wearing it then? He had never felt something like that. It was more than jealousness, more than anger. He didn't know what to do with himself. For a moment, he wanted to cross the street and punch Mark in the face. For a moment he wanted to run to your flat and scream right in your face. The shirt was his and he had given it to you. Only for you to wear it, not for Mark to walk around Monaco with it.

He thought of what Michael would tell him and took deep breaths, then he changed the playlist and chose something hard, some hard rock and turned the volume too loud. His ears kind of hurt, but he didn't care.

Daniel was going to cross the street and his eyes found Mark's, he smiled and lifted his hand. Mark was a dick and was only interested in his racing. He prayed for him to not wanted to talk. But well, he wasn't the luckiest man recently.

"Hey mate!" Mark had the nerve to hug him.

"Hi"

"I was with YN just like ten minutes ago"

Daniel gave him a tight smile.

"She is doing really well"

"I know" Daniel spat. He wanted to show Mark that he wasn't completely gone. He was still there.

"Yeah" Mark nodded "She told me she had seen you a while ago"

"Yeah, a couple of weeks ago" Daniel wasn't sure if that was correct, but well, Mark didn't have to know that.

"She is amazing. You should see her at work. With the new job... She is one in a million"

"I know, Mark. I always told her she would get there."

"Yeah... Pretty special woman"

Daniel wanted to tear that shirt off him. And it wasn't only the shirt. Mark wearing that shirt probably meant he had spent the night with you. He didn't have clean clothes and yours didn't fit him.

Daniel was angry because Mark had his shirt and his girl. He hated him. He wanted you back. He wanted to wake up next to you wearing only that shirt. He wanted to run his hands over your body and hear you wake up with soft giggles.

I saw your friend that you know from work

He said you feel just fine

I see you gave him my old t-shirt

More of what was once mine

I see it's written, it's all over his face

...

Daniel was looking at you and you felt weak. Again, another party, another drunk feeling of longing and wanting. You fought yourself but lost. You felt stupid as you walked to him. His hand found your waist immediately, but he didn't say anything. He would wait for you to speak. And you almost scream. Why was he looking at you like that? Why was he so quiet? Daniel wasn't a quiet man. Why do those brown eyes want from you?

You couldn't speak. You couldn't find the right words. You were just drunk after all. Still a coward too.

Comfortable silence is so overrated

Why won't you ever say what you want to say?

Even my phone misses your call, by the way

Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry too

Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry too

Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry too

But you, you never do

And watching how you still didn't speak, he opened his mouth. He regretted it later at home, but he was furious when he spoke.

"How is Mark?"

You gasped.

How did he know about Mark?

You didn't say anything.

"We have the same size, right?"

You blinked the tears away. He had seen him. You had felt horrible watching MArk wearing that t-shirt. It was yours and you had asked him to bring it to work the next day. It didn't smell the same though. It didn't feel as warm as it did before. You hated yourself for that, but Mark had gotten wine on his shirt and had nothing to wear the morning after. You had called him Daniel while he was fucking you. You felt the worst but he had just played silly. He didn't mention it.

Daniel didn't know what he was expecting from you. But he saw your teary eyes and something in him broke.

"Nothing to say?"

"No" You said and brushed a tear away. "What do you want me to say? That I fuck guys as a single woman does?"

ouch. He groaned and turned around, his hand falling from your waist. You felt cold. Daniel drowned the two shots he had waiting for him at the bar.

"Have fun being single, YN" He said before leaving.

You felt your knees shaking.

One hour later, you were watching him with a girl on his lap. You had never felt worst.

...

Daniel opened his eyes and looked around. The sun was too bright.

"Fuck..." He groaned.

He looked down and saw Samantha's hand on his abdomen. He looked at the woman sleeping next to him. Her hair, her nose, her eyes... He was an idiot. He was the worst.

Woke up the girl who looked just like you

I almost said your name

She opened her eyes and smiled. Without saying even good morning, she kissed him deeply, her tongue roaming around his mouth and pulling a groan out of him. He turned his mind off and pushed down on the bed. He thought of you while he kissed down her throat. He thought of you while he pulled her hair. He didn't open his eyes much. He did to her all the things you loved. He almost says your name when she made her come because in his mind it had been you.

Danny felt like shit right after. He walked out on the balcony only wearing his boxers and looked far. He felt so lost in his thoughts. He wanted you back. He needed you back. You two were made for each other, you were just too stubborn.

Then Samantha came out of the bathroom and hugged him. She smelled like his soap. She kissed his back and Danny groaned.

"You have to leave"

"What?"

"it was fun, but you have to leave"

She pulled away and he turned around.

"You are a fucking prick, Daniel Ricciardo"

"I am, yes."

She stormed out and changed quickly. Soon he was watching her walking away in the street. Samatha deserved better.

Daniel learnt from Scotty again that you had travelled to London early in the morning and he felt miserable. You were further away every second it passed. He saw it all so far.

What he didn't know is that without him, Monaco felt too much. It didn't feel like home anymore and you were feeling how he was slipping away from you. You needed to be away and think.

It took too long for him. He was desperate. But you found each other once more. You looked different. You had changed your hair. The first thing he told you was that you looked beautiful.

All these weeks away had made you change. You weren't the same, but you felt better.

"Do you want t grab some dinner?" You asked with a smile.

Daniel almost said no. This had happened before. And for what? For you to part ways again in the morning.

"Okay"

You went to his flat and ate Japanese food together. Then with a cup of wine and your legs on his lap, you talked about the job, about the big things you were doing and about his problems. Just as you did before. Just as it was when you were together.

You knew you had things to talk about to be back together. But you couldn't bring yourself to speak. Not when he was looking at you with so much happiness.

It was 1 am when you got up and said it was late. Daniel move fast and grabbed your waist. He couldn't let you go, he was feeling at home again.

"Stay"

You didn't need more. The first kiss that night felt like home, like a warm shower after a cold day. You almost cry when he pulled back.

That night was different from the others. It was slow and tender. You were both sweaty and sticky, on the edge of extasis for too long, leaving marks everywhere and barely breathing. It was mindblowing. Your feelings felt huge and made you feel small in his arms.

We haven't spoke since you went away

Comfortable silence is so overrated

Why won't you ever say what you want to say?

Even my phone misses your call

We haven't spoke since you went away

Comfortable silence is so overrated

Why won't you ever say what you want to say?

Even my phone misses your call, by the way

But Daniel woke up alone that morning. He punched a pillow in anger. He screamed and pulled his hair. He thought he had you back after that night. He thought you were his again and you would wake him up with soft kisses on his face.

Daniel called for a sick day. Michael complained. "YN was here yesterday, she spend the night and disappeared in the morning" Michael didn't say anything more. He understood. He had been with Daniel through everything.

But when Daniel was already deep on The Office Season 3 and had just eaten ice cream and pizza, he heard the phone. It was on the floor, it had fallen and he didn't bother to pick it up.

He saw your name on the screen and his heart skipped a beat.

"Hello" He said when he pressed the answer button. His voice was hoarse from barely speaking that day.

"Hey, Dan... Um...I'm sorry I left early this morning. I had a meeting and I completely forgot last night. I just..." You talked about the meeting and how hectic the day had been.

Danny could hear your nervous breath on the other side. He just waited.

"I just wanted to tell you that... I'm sorry." You paused "For everything I've said and done. I'm sorry, Dan. I didn't tell you last night because everything was so perfect and... I didn't want to fuck it up"

You bit your lip and looked down at your feet. You had tears in your eyes. You wished you had done it sooner.

"I know, love. I know." Danny said with a smile on his face and tears in his eyes "I'll be here waiting for you. Actually... I have been waiting for a while. Just... Just come home, okay?"

"Okay" You answered with a smile.

Uffff the feels... I hope you liked it and this made up to your expectations!

No second part, though.

[thytaenic]

Hi! I don't know if I missed it or something but I couldn't find anything that said if your requests were open or closed. If they are closed just ignore this. Tw! For scars and abuse mention.

Can I request riddle, Azul and Jamil with a reader who has scars from past abuse that happened by the readers family? Like how did they find out about the scars and how did they react when they found out? How would they react when they found out it was from the readers own family? Gender natural is fine!!

Sorry if this was too much info or something, have a good day!

thank you for requesting! while drafting this request, it has come to my mind that these types of request made me feel happy because it helped me to empathise others. enjoy the req btw !

⊹˚︵‿₊˚ʚɞ˚₊‿︵˚⊹

ʚɞ ～ ❝ 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘'𝐒 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐌 ❞

╰‧₊˚ riddle rosehearts, azul ashengrotto, jamil viper x gn!mc

╰‧₊˚  𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: mention of abusive, slight descriptive scars

everything happened when it was your first time playing croquet with the heartslabyul members— mainly being invited by the dorm leader Riddle Rosehearts

you delivered one powerful swing and was about to proceed to your next swing when you accidentaly stepped on a random stone, causing you to fall down to the front

riddle saw how you clutched your left arm, hissing in pain and immediately rushed to you as he crouched down

he rolled your long sleeve up to examine for any wounds and to his surprise, dashes of scabs were visible on your arm. riddle was undoubtedly surprised with his eyes widen but he knew, his reaction would make you feel uncomfortable so he, in a loving way rolled down your sleeve back. without wasting more time, he didnt want you to be bombarded with questions and so he carried you bridal style in his arms out of the court to the lounge instead

"let me help you."

"riddle wait—"

you slowly opened up to him and trying to sound calm and collected despite the broken sobs leaving your throat but you were caught of guard by the sudden closeness of riddle pulling you in his embrace

"old scars, i assume?"

"..y-yeah, from my dad. but i-its nothing, really. i can reassure that hes not abus-"

for a moment there, you were scared to be judged by him for acting tough but deep inside, youre hurting. your sobs turned to a heart-wrenching cry of a child who has been facing many difficulties in their life.

"shh, just let it all out. youre alright now and i'll make sure no one will ever lay a single finger on you ever again."

you excused yourself to the vip room since you needed to do something. it was unusual for you to ask for a break and this piqued the dorm leader of octavinelle's curiosity. he wasnt sure if he should wait for you to return or check up on you but jade managed to shoo him away to see you

upon stepping into the room while he formed some sort of sentences to say when hes in the room later on, he heard a faint 'ouch' from you. worries were written all over his face as he barged into the room, slamming the door open.

you were busy applying some ointment but jolted from your seat and turned to look at the merman. realising how your back was fully exposed to his view, your hands quickly pulled down the hem of your uniform but theres no point in hiding anymore when he walked towards you and sat next to you on the couch.

it was starting to grow awkward between the two of you but you excused yourself again and this time, azul gripped onto your wrist— not wanting to see you left without explanation. seemed like he saw those horrible scars covering your entire back.

he really wanted to let you walk out of the door and hoped to pretend like he did not just see someone's consequences of abuse but no, azul ashengrotto would never do that. his arms wrapped tightly around your waist, pulling you closer with less space between you two and carefully kissed the top of your hair.

"(y/n), are you-"

"yes, its exactly what youre thinking, azul. now let me go."

you felt the burden being lifted up with azul holding you so close to his chest now, not showing any sign of letting you go from his grasp. afraid that if he let you go, you would suffer the same pain over and over again and its a nightmare to him for not realising earlier than now.

hes warm and it felt nice. your plan to bottle up everything was ruined the moment he pulled you in a hug, tossing the bottle of your worries to the ground. it shattered into pieces, symbolising how hes ready to be the one to listen to your worries now.

"there, there. youre safe now, love."

kalim had decided to throw a party in scarabia to celebrate the end of the winter holidays. because crowley asked you to watch over the school compounds, you were invited to the party by the vice dorm leader, jamil viper. its hard to decline his offer since he insisted to let you at least taste his cooking.

in return for the generosity of the dorm members and to the dorm leader too, you persistently asked to help out in the kitchen. jamil was over the moon to have you over for the night especially when you said something about wanting to see him cook.

you were tasked to cut the vegetables while jamil stirred the curry when he noticed how you didnt roll up your sleeves when cutting— you were practically struggling there. do you want to dirty your clothes, perhaps? jamil refused to let this happen so he stood behind you as his hands worked to help you roll up the sleeves of your sweater, causing you to drop the knife down.

jamil's eyes now nailed to the sight of your wrists, gazing at those slashes. no point in hiding them anymore. you noticed how emotionless he looked and your eyes brimmed with tears, biting hard on your lips to muffle your sobs. feeling overwhelmed for the things happening to you now, you crouched down with your palms covering your face as you felt the weight of the world accumulating on your shoulders.

you were so ready to receive lectures from jamil but instead, he kneeled in front of you and wrapped his arms around you securely. his hand slowly rubbing your back as he whispered words of comfort to you. the world seemed to spin slower than before and all you can think of was how he didnt hesitate to take the ointment from his pocket which he carried all the time and applied it onto the scars, planting a soft kiss onto your forehead .

"i cant afford to see you suffer alone. let me at least tell you that everything's fine now."

[technowoah]

could you pls do a karl jacobs x reader with 9 & 11 from the fluff prompt list? fem or gn pronouns are fine!! <3

Crush Culture

karl jacobs x reader blurb!

Thanks for the request!! I hope you like it 💓

9) "Dumb ass I love you" "That was aggressive-"

32) "Oh shit you're Jealous?!"

(They changed the number from 11 to 32 btw)

⚠︎ swearing, jealousy, angst, fluff at the end, not that much dialouge, unrequited love, I didn't proofread..sorry

Masterlist!

Karl was such a sweet and caring soul. He would do anything for anyone, but sometimes that got in the way of your plans.

You and Karl lived in the same area, well you both found out you two lived in the same after planning to do a streamer meetup to show both of your fans. He had thought you lived further away, so when you both showed up at the selected place at the same time you both realized you live in the same state.

Ever since then you two hung out more and more, fans thought you two were dating because of how many times you showed up on Karl's streams instead of your own. You both debunked the idea multiple times but fans still insisted that you two were lying, jokingly saying that you were replacing Sapnap.

After a months of hanging out, having sleepovers, listening to his laugh, looking into his eyes, you started to slowly fall for the man. Especially with all the time he's willingly spending with you. He invited you to shoots with the Mr. Beast crew and after that you both went to Taco Bell, and that became a regular thing for you two.

The falling point for you is when Karl started to get touchy. He started hugging you from behind at random times, draping his arm over your shoulder, jokingly tries to kiss you during streams. At some point in the day Karl had to have a hand on you shoulder or at least two hugs. It made you want those hugs more often, and it slightly bothered you that he gave those out to anyone.

It was selfish of you to think like this, but isnt that human nature? It was a new thing for you to want to be with someone this much. It felt like you had to go all out to get Karl to notice you wanted to be with him. You started reciprocating his hugs and small touches, started making plans more often, sending little hearts after text messages. You could've told him your feelings toward him, but that wasnt your forté. At least right now.

Karl didn't notice the change in your attitude. Maybe he thought that his actions were rubbing off on you. You were so close to straight up saying "I love you" to him at this point. Looking back, you thought that your advances werent good enough, so right now you didnt try that much. You really wanted to be with Karl, but it seemer like it wasn't the time right now.

When you made up your mind that you wouldn't confess, Karl seemed to find someone. Her name to you was "candle girl", she was a girl who worked at a candle store that Karl had a crush on. He talked about her with a smile, the smile that you loved. He told you how she looked, and how sweet she was and how he went out of his comfort zone to talk to her.

Karl talked about her so highly you seemed like a second thought to him. He talked about her on stream while you were there too and you had to act like you were happy for him when in reality, when you wanted Karl to talk about you with the same gleam in his eyes like he talked about "candle girl".

It was one particular stream where you finally blew a fuse.

"Okay so me and y/n are going to head out. This stream was fun! Thank you all for joining." Karl exclaimed.

The chat went fast as Karl tried to pick out comments. You were swaying back in forth in your chair just wanting to get to Taco Bell before they closed. The stream ran longer than usual and the only thing you two ate where popcorn and Monsters.

"Where are you going? We're going to Taco Bell as always." You answered the question that someone commented.

"It's a tradition we have!" Karl added on.

"Y/N is replacing Sapnap? Yes I am hopefully." You said jokingly, knowing that would get clipped.

There was a pause, Karl was about to end his live until a question came up about if he has a crush on someone. You knew the rant about the candle girl was coming soon so you braced for the heartache you were inevitably about to face.

"My crush? There's this girl that works at like a Bath and Body Works you know? And I really like her. I actually got het number!" Karl turned to you when he said that last part.

"You did?" You asked stunned.

He laughed like he was surprised at himself.

"Yeah! Aren't you proud? Im a man now!" Karl joked around.

You mumbled an incoherent sentence, clearly not wanting to hear what he had to say about the girl. It was selfish of you to be jealous that he wasnt talking about you that way. Karl finally ended the stream and closed everything on his computer before the two of you headed out to his car.

You sat in the passenger side and he climbed into the drivers seat. He turned the car in and you both sat in the car not talking only with the radio playing softly in the background. It was a comfortable silence, but you wanted to say something, anything, but it wasnt coming out of your mouth. Seemingly the universe was for you because the text message on Karl's phone finally made you speak up.

"Oh!" Karl exclaimed as he opened his phone.

"Whos the text from?" You asked.

Karl laughed, "How'd you know?"

"Im a genius aren't I?" You smiled.

"Yeah you are. Its the girl! She texted me." Karl said while typing on his phone, clearly focused.

He kept doing so while smiling at the textx sent back and forth. It was uncomfortable for you while Karl and the girl texted quickly.

"I was actually anxious if she was gonna text me back or not. She's actually a fast typer-"

"Can we just go to Taco Bell." You interrupted Karl.

"What's wrong?" Karl put his phone down, but the notifications were still glowing in his screen in the dark car.

"I dont know. Just drive."

"No Y/N tell me."

"Karl I'm hungry lets go, please?"

"Not until you look at me and tell me whats the matter!" Karl pressed on.

"I said it's-

"Y/N!"

"Okay! Dumb ass I like you!" You shouted finally fed up with his pressure.

"That was aggressive-" Karl laughed after that.

You shouldn't have said that. His eyes widened at your sudden, agressive, confessions. It was embarrassing. You were about to get out of the car, your eyes kept staring at your lap or anywhere else, but Karl's way. Karl placed a hand on your shoulder while his phone was still blowing up from text messages.

Karl suddenly gasped and started laughing.

"Oh shit, You're Jealous?!"

You immediately looked towards him with confusion in your eyes. "Yeah I am! You're talking about this girl you like, you have this glow in your eyes when you talk about her, and I know it's selfish, but I want that."

Karl leaned over the armrest and kissed you on the cheek while you stared out of the front windshield.

"There's no need to be jealous!" Karl said as you both stared at eachother.

"I like you Karl. If you haven't figured it out yet." You laughed slightly.

"I like you too." Karl smiled wide and you matched his smile.

"Wait!" You started again. "What about the other girl?"

"Oh yeah about her." Karl started to laugh. "Its just a small crush. The real crush I have is you. I get so giddy when we spend time together and when I get a small text from you. Everything."

You both were leaning against the arm rest, Karl leaned his head on your shoulder as your hand rested in his hair. It was an akward position, but that didn't matter right now. Taco Bell could wait

"Maybe I was trying to make you jealous." Karl spoke up.

"Really?!"

"No!" Karl laughed. "I'm not that smart."

"Well everything worked out in our favor." You spoke up.

"Yeah. I love you, but you knew that already." Karl sat up and gave you a smile.

"I love you too Karl Jacobs."

[magnus-the-maqnificent]

Let's Analyze - Alec in CoFA

So, I’ve been seeing plenty of discourse on two of my mutual’s blogs about this topic… so I thought I’d sit down and write another analysis post about my beloved Alec Lightwood cause people are still giving him shit for a book that came out ten years ago 🤦‍♀️

This is gonna be in two parts, and I'm putting both under the cut:

PART 1 - ALEC’S INSECURITIES 

So, the first part - how Alec’s insecurities drove him to saying stupid things in CoFA

A quick disclaimer - I’m NOT blaming Alec alone for his and Magnus’s break up. What happened was pretty complicated, and the blame cannot be put on one person alone. 

That said, let’s start with Magnus and Alec’s early ‘official’ relationship, in trsom.

These scenes are taken from only the first part of the book, but I’m pretty sure they’re more than enough to get a sense of Alec’s insecurities and all the chinks in their relationship. Throughout the entirety of trsom, we see more bits and pieces of Alec’s insecurities about Magnus’s sexuality, and his past and all the people he might have known - and that’s okay! Insecurities happen, cause brains are stupid like that.

But all of Alec’s insecurities could’ve been laid to rest with a simple conversation. But the conversation never happens. Magnus tends to deflect and change the topic every single time his past is brought up. I understand Magnus’s reasons for hiding his past, of course, but it doesn’t help his relationship with Alec. Magnus hiding a good chunk of his past will inevitably lead to Alec questioning himself - why is he so secretive? Why is he not telling me anything? Does he not trust me? ...and so on.

And when Alec is already feeling insecure in this relationship, this happens - (sorry about the terrible cropping btw)

And then later, while Magnus is talking to Camille,

Now… when people are insecure about something, they get irked at the smallest of things. I’m saying this as an insecure person myself. So now, you've got Alec, who's insecure as fuck, and his vacation with the person he loves got cut short by his ex who refuses to talk to anyone but him, and when they get there, his lover and his lover's ex seem to have obvious chemistry, he gets hit with the reality that his lover has dated several, probably even hundreds of people before him; and he has to leave them alone in a room so they can talk, and then he hears the ex basically just list all his shortcomings - i.e, his mortality, his appearance is compared to some random dead guy (sorry, Will) whom your lover had a crush on, which is just weird, and when you've had enough and open the door, it's to see your lover and his ex, standing close as fuck, and he's! touching! her! face! and! looking! into! her! eyes!

*takes a sip of water* yeahhhh... Alec was straight up having a bad day.

And at this point, a) Alec is still in his first relationship. He didn't get to navigate romance when he was younger, and while there's nothing wrong with that, there weren't exactly cutesy presentations titled 'how to keep your relationships healthy' floating around the internet. Heck, he didn’t know the internet. He didn't know that he had to communicate with Magnus, and it doesn't help that boy avoids conversations about feelings like the plague. And b) at this point, Alec would be facing several negative emotions - insecurity, obviously. Hurt. Helplessness, because of his mortality. Fear, that he might not live up to Magnus’s past lovers. Jealousy at seeing Magnus and Camille so close.

Negative emotions like these often tend to show up as anger or sorrow... and in Alec’s case, that would be anger. Which leads us to THIS- (🙈)

*sighs in second-hand embarrassment*

*drinks more water*

*this is gonna be so hard aksjakak*

So. Alec dealt with his insecurities... by being a mean, mean bitch to Magnus :/

Let's break this scene down, slowly, bit by bit.

First, Alec cuts into a conversation between Magnus and Jordan, when Magnus mentions Woolsey Scott, followed the rest of that particular page. To Alec, he's just a figure from Magnus’s past, and a possible lover, though in Alec’s defense Woolsey Scott WAS Magnus’s lover. This is the first instance that we see in which Alec lashes out at Magnus. It seems like he's trying to make a point to Magnus - "I don't know anything about your past, and so I don't know who you've had romances with, but I want to know." Except he makes his point in the worst way possible and ends up slutshaming Magnus.

The "What's true?" line, in response to Jordan saying "so it's true what they say about warlocks, then?" is pretty obvious. Alec is clearly not liking the idea that this random werewolf might know about warlocks, and in particular, his Warlock boyfriend.

Next... ooh boy... Alec basically snaps and in the next few paragraphs accuses Magnus of wanting to flirt with others which... is not a good look on ya honey 😕. These lines are the ones that get him accused of being biphobic... but is he really? I'm gonna talk about that in part 2.

So, in the first paragraph, where Alec makes the comments about Jordan, I find his choice of words pretty... interesting, seeing as 'messy-haired', 'broad-shouldered' and 'chiseled-good-looks' are all used to describe Alec in the series. Not sure if its relevant, but definitely interesting.

And in the next one, where Alec says, "or there are plenty of pretty girls here, since apparently your taste goes both ways. Is there anything you aren't into?" The 'apparently' makes me curious. In rsom, Alec mentions that he's only recently heard of the term bisexual, and there's plenty of time between rsom and cofa, so Alec should be absolutely sure of atleast the basic meaning of bisexuality. But I'm pretty sure it's just inconsistency on cc's part, since if rsom didn't exist, this book would be the first time Alec learns about Magnus’s bisexuality. (Which is obvious when you look at the scene after Magnus reveals that Camille is his girlfriend.) And as for the second sentence, I feel like it's a fallback to earlier in the book when Magnus says (I'm just gonna write the dialogue from memory), "I've dated men, women, warlocks, faeries, vampires, werewolves and even a djinn or two." Here, Alec is angry, and he takes the knowledge that Magnus has dated a variety of people and once again, lashes out.

Looking at all of it together, Alec’s insecurities are definitely a factor in all of this. We know Alec has pretty low self esteem in tmi, and he keeps having irrational thoughts about someone else grabbing Magnus’s attention, like in the trsom scene I've posted above. And he ends up taking out his insecurities on Magnus.

Was it wrong of Alec to say all those things to Magnus? Yes, absolutely. But looking back through all his scenes in cofa, it's easy to see how he could've fallen into the pit trap of emotions.

And before anyone says "but it wasn't addressed in the later books", it was, in CoLS. I’ve hit the image limit, so I'm just gonna type it out -

"[Magnus] said it would be better if he didn’t come. Apparently him and the Seelie Queen have some kind of history."

Isabelle raised her eyebrows.

"Not that kind of history," Alec said irritably. "Some kind of feud. Though," he added, half under his breath, "the way he got around before me, I wouldn't be surprised."

"Alec!" Isabelle dropped back to talk to her brother....

So, there. Alec makes yet another slutshaming comment, Isabelle overhears and is clearly not happy about it, and it's clearly implied that she talks to Alec about it. And Alec doesn't make any more slutshaming comments since then. Boy now knows what he did was wrong, and makes sure not to repeat it again.

Although, I do wish we had more than this. I wish we had more of Magnus and Alec talking about this argument, heck, even about all their arguments and the reasons they broke up, but you can't get everything you want, apparently :(

And now onto the next part...

PART 2 - IS ALEC BIPHOBIC?

The short answer, uh, no, not really.

The long answer.... would be complicated.

So, back in the day, when this discourse was at an all time high, I remember reading a bisexual person's essay about this topic, and they said that this comment from Alec - "or there are plenty of pretty girls here, since apparently your taste goes both ways. Is there anything you aren't into?" - would be a biphobic microagression.

According to Google, a microagression is "a statement, action, or incident regarded as an instance of indirect, subtle, or unintentional discrimination against members of a marginalized group such as a racial or ethnic minority".

And in Alec's case, IF his words were biphobic, they were completely unintentional. They were microagressive. Which is... still bad, of course, but it's more complicated than that.

If you look back on Alec's supposedly biphobic statements, they're more about Magnus’s hypersexuality and promiscuity than anything else. Yes, even the line i mentioned like two paragraphs ago. At first glance it may seem like a direct attack on Magnus’s sexuality, but think over the explanation I gave for the line and it will make sense. And a lot of people know that the whole 'bi people fuck around a lot and are cheaters' thing is a stereotype.

Now, it may seem like I'm going off topic here, but bear with me. I couple of days ago, I watched this video by chance. (Tw for the aids crisis and lots of biphobia, not from the narrator, if you wanna watch the video). Basically, back in the 1980s, bisexual men were scapegoated for spreading aids to the straight community and were vilified by popular media as being promiscuous scepters who would cheat on their wives with gay men and then give aids to their wives. (Yikes 😬). And since bisexuality was practically unheard of before all this (several bisexual activists have stated that all this shit, though unfortunate, pulled bisexuality out of the closet), it's safe to assume that this is how those stereotypes came to be - through 1980s propaganda.

But living with this propaganda is... a very limiting experience. The people who leaned and unlearned and fought against this propaganda are mostly US Americans who grew up with it, either the actual propaganda itself or passed down by their parents. But like I said, it's a very limiting experience. US is but one country out of many, and even for those living in the USA there's a chance that they grew up in a very hush-hush environment. People who grew up hearing all these stereotypes will see it as biphobia, while people who didn't - like Alec, and me, and several other people will not. A lot of people grow up with absolutely no knowledge of the queer community, and chances are that they'll be incredibly confused when a stereotype is pointed out to them, and they often get no more explanation than 'this is a harmful stereotype'. Queer experiences aren't the same for everyone, and while I respect the people who see this as biphobia, they should recognize that there are many people who won't see it that way.

I have seen bisexual people say that Alec's words were biphobic, and I've also seen bisexual people say that they weren't. Thus, there is no clear consensus about whether or not Alec was being biphobic. And like I said earlier, Alec grew up far, far away from mundane anti-queer bigotry. He was essentially a clean slate when it came to knowledge of eer microagressions of any kind, because microagressions and stereotypes are often incredibly specific, don't have anything to do with a person's race/sexuality/gender, etc. and will make zero sense unless you know the history behind them. To Magnus, who lived through the anti-bisexual scapegoating, the words would've definitely stung, but Alec didn't even know the implications he would be making with this words! Of course, the impact is greater than intention, and I imagine Magnus would sit Alec down one day and talk about all this history with him.

And idk if I can even blame cc cause the history of bisexual men is RARELY ever talked about, atleast on the internet.

Also, this scene in cofa is the only instance where he can be interpreted to be biphobic. Nowhere else in all of tmi, and even tec, do we see Alec express hatred or disgust or microagression towards bisexual people. If this was seen in a repeating pattern from Alec, one could argue that he's biphobic... but he isn't. Some might point to some of his internal thoughts in trsom to argue otherwise, but I believe that actions are superior than thoughts.

There's also the thing about unlearning prejudices, but in Alec's case there was hardly anything to be unlearned. The only prejudices he did pick up on were against himself, through vague homophobic comments from Robert.

P.S if you've read this far, I am legally entitled to compensation for thinking of cofa Alec for 48 hours. Put your favorite Alec moments in my askbox cause I wanna focus on his good side now. 😎

But yeah, the main thing here is that Alec has grown from his mistakes, apologized, and hasn't repeated this behavior at all.

And lastly, I just wanted to add - I don't think all this was unintentional on the author's part. She's grown up with the us American queer community, and has mentioned that she has bisexual friends, who have no doubt faced prejudices because of these stereotypes. I think she was trying to condemn making such statements, but a lot of people don't read between the lines and end up misinterpreting it and make both the character and her to be biphobic.

So... TLDR; was what Alec said biphobic? Maybe. It depends on who you're talking to. Is Alec, as a person, biphobic? Nope. Not at all. 😌

[animeyanderelover]

Hey! I saw your request were open.sorry if their not you can delete this of their not.anyway can i please request prompt #32 with Ran-Mao from black butler please?thank you a lot! Btw I really love your blog.your a great writer!!

I’m always giving my best darling❤️.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, harassment, stalking, obsessiveness, violence, killing, blood, body parts

Prompt 32: “Babe! I brought you a gift. You don’t know what that is? Let me tell you. These are the eyes of the person who kept looking at you today.”

You wondered where she had gone. It was not like her to miss out a chance to spend time with you, this just wasn’t like Ran Mao. Usually she always waited in front of your house, following you silently in the house and spending the rest of the night and early morning cuddling with you.

You had no idea when exactly she had even confessed to you, you couldn’t remember that she had ever told you about her feelings. Ran Mao wasn’t very talkative.

When you had first met her, together with this guy named Lau, you had even doubted that she could understand your language at all. The few times she had said something, she had spoken in a more broken tone, giving you the feeling that she didn’t know the words.

But she seemed to understand everything just fine, you had taken notice of that the moment you had accidentally mentioned one time that you had wanted desperately some pastries a new bakery had started selling. Sadly you were at that time a bit short on money, having to miss this sweet temptation.

Maybe that was how she had confessed to you now that you were thinking about it. Because she had stood for the first time in front of your house at that time, holding a huge box with the logo of the bakery in her hands. Not a single word had been uttered, she had just given it to you, waiting for your reaction.

You had never interacted with her before, she had only sat on Lau’s lap, watching when you two had been talking. God knows how you had managed to make friends with that guy, but he was a funny guy to be with after all.

But at one point she had just started to pay more attention to you, her golden eyes constantly watching you and seemingly being interested in whatever word you had spoken.

And on that night you had let her for the first time in your house, this gorgeous Chinese beauty.

And from there on this had become a routine, her always waiting for you at the front door after you had finished work and you two just spending the following few hours together before you two fell asleep together.

You had at first been worried for Lau, fearing that he might be somewhat hurt by Ran Mao’s sudden change in behavior. But luckily he didn’t seem all too affected by it. Much more on the contrary. He had told you that he was happy for her since he had noticed that she seemed to be in a much more good mood since she had met you and you had started dedicating more time to her.

The first time she had suddenly started sitting on your lap rather than Lau’s, you had been a bashful mess, not a single word had left your mouth. You hadn’t been able to think clearly, not with her on your lap and hugging you in front of Lau, who had seemed more amused by this.

You still weren’t completely used to it, Ran Mao was incredibly distracting. Not in a bad way, but she was very attractive, no one could deny that. You had once tried to talk with her about this behavior of hers. It wasn’t like you didn’t like it, but it was just the fact that you would like to avoid misunderstandings since she even did it in front of other people.

She had not understood it, she had just tilted her head back then and watched you as if not sure if she had heard it right. You had felt terribly bad afterwards, trying to make it up by being more cuddly and tolerating when you two were in private. It wasn’t like she wouldn’t have been touchy even if you wouldn’t have been.

She had learned to restrain herself more in public even though she still clinged into your arm all the time. But at the very least she had stopped placing herself in your lap except when with Lau or alone. You had never expected her to be the clingy type when you had first seen her, she had looked more cold.

In reality she was anything, but cold. In fact she was one of the most lovely persons you had met. She rarely talked, but she was just so mindful and lovingly with everything else she did that you felt thankful for having crossed paths with her. She had always been there for you.

Maybe that was why you felt a bit hurt right now. Because she wasn’t here. And especially today you really would have needed someone to comfort and listen to you. Ran Mao knew that as well, didn’t she? She had been there when this person had kept looking at you, the reel of alcohol and his rotten breath still causing you to feel nauseous.

Luckily he hadn’t approached you, Ran Mao having stopped him with a quick kick which had led him to landing on his face before she had grabbed your hand and quickly dragged you away from the man who had started shouting and cursing at you two, spitting out some rather nasty words before an police man had stopped him and taken him under custody. Letting a drunken man like this run freely around wouldn’t have been a good idea anyways.

You turned around in your bed, eyes trailing instantly to the spot Ran Mao would have layed by now. You missed her a lot right now. Lau had informed you that she had been busy with something, but you hadn’t expected that it would take her that long. Normally she always finished her tasks in the matter of less than an hours. What was taking her so long?

He could only stare at the person in fear, shaking like crazy. It was too dark to confirm who exactly it was, but from the dim light that the moon was gifting him, he was sure he could indentify the body line of a woman.

But that was not possible, not from the utter display of skilled and brute strength he had just witnessed. No one fought like this! No human could destroy a whole wall and knock out all officers!

Maybe he was still drunk? He had quite the few shots after all. No, he surely hadn’t drunken that much. The fear was way to real and even if he should still have been somewhat foggy before, he was sure he had sobered up by now.

“No human can do this...” There was this small and terrifying thought crossing his mind, one he refused to believe. What was he thinking? Stuff like vampires and witches where some dumb shot from fairy tails. And yet, when he looked into those golden eyes, ice-cold and yet burning with a bright fire, he couldn’t help, but think of one word. “A demon.”

It seemed like the devil had decided to go after him. He should have listened to his parents, his friends, everyone around him. Everyone had warned him that one day he would get a payback for his actions, his disloyalty, his habit of drinking until late at night. And now death would finally punish him in the form of the creatures he had always chased after. How mocking fate was.

“You hurt...the most precious person.” After that he only remembered darkness. Eternal darkness.

“Babe!” You stirred up from your slumber, being softly shaken by someone. Who? What? Where? You slowly sat up, stretching yourself to get rid of the stiffness and rubbing your eyes.

With still half-closed eyes you turned around, blinking several times in an attempt to widen your field of vision. And that’s when you finally noticed the person sitting beside you on the bed.

You were at first happy that she had finally made it, you must have fallen asleep whilst waiting for her. But that’s when something else crossed your mind. How did she get inside...?

Just as you were about to ask her the question, you noticed the open window, halting in your actions. Had she...?

“Ran Mao...” Judging from the way she had cuddled herself comfortably next to your side, she was listening, eyes waiting you to finish your sentence.

“Did-did you enter through the window? The closed window? At least ten meters above the ground?” You were flabbergasted the moment she simply nodded like it wasn’t anything special. It wasn’t like you weren’t aware of the abilities of Ran Mao, you knew she was agile, strong and an excellent fighter. You hadn’t known that she had much more up her sleeves, but that wasn’t what shocked you so much. It was the fact that she didn’t seem to realize that breaking into your house was...well, wrong.

“Why are you here?” You we’re still staring stunned at the opened window, asking yourself how she had managed to open it from the outside without breaking it. That was before your attention was shifted from the window to a small and noble looking wooden box, fine patterns being carved into it. “I brought you a gift.”

Her words still sounded a bit slow-spoken, but it was surprising that she was talking so much in the first place. You didn’t mind, you really liked her voice. But mixed with this rather...odd situation it felt a bit weird.

You slowly took the box, observing it a bit. “Is that the reason why you were so busy?” A small nod of confirmation from Ran Mao was all you needed. And in that moment you started feeling a bit guilty, giving her a somewhat unsure look.

“I appreciate it, really. But I feel bad since I don’t have anything for you...Just like all the other times you gifted me something.”

It happened all so often that Ran Mao gifted you something, no matter how expensive or rare. She seemed to always find ways to get you what you wanted. And different from with the physical affection, she hadn’t slowed it down when you had talked with her about it. You had felt terrible because you knew you would never be able to get her the things she gifted you, there had even been a time where you had tried to reject the presents because you had felt too bad.

You had stopped not long afterwards, after she had just stood there, holding her arms out in expectations of you taking it, a certain feeling of slight desperation and hurt surrounding her. You hadn’t been able to say no to those leading eyes.

What had she gifted you so far? Pastries, expensive ingredients, jewelry, clothes, flowers, decorations...The list was long. Whenever you had expressed your interest in something, you had gotten it only shortly afterwards from her. But you couldn’t recall that you had showed interest in anything lately, making you curious about what she had gotten you so suddenly. You suspected she had bought you something due to the recent accident.

“You don’t know what this is?” You guessed your reaction could have been worse than just kind of freezing the moment you opened the small box and were met with a nasty stench, two round-like things laying inside the piece of wood. You didn’t know why you were so calm, this would have been the perfect moment to scream and have a panic attack.

Maybe...just maybe it was due to the fact that you had used to work in a hospital and had seen some stuff in there.

But you had definitely never seen eyeballs that detailed and clearly before, not to mention not placed in the skull which they should have been instead of in a small expensive box, gifted as a present to you. Were you crazy for suddenly thinking how she had been able to rip them out so clearly and cleaned them up so well? Shouldn’t you worry more about the person who was missing them right now or if they were even alive anymore? Yes, yes you should.

“Let me tell you.” You really wished to find out how she could sound so incredibly casually right now given the fact that she had just given you the eyes of someone. Shouldn’t she act a bit different as well? Panicked? Guilty? Maybe angry because that person did something wrong to you? Really anything, but her usual clingy and calm self?

“These are the eyes of the person who kept looking at you today.” You didn’t do anything when she started rubbing her face against yours, wanting more physical contact with you. You didn’t know if you were either too shocked or if your brain had just stopped working, you only knew that you felt somewhat blank in that moment. You probably just didn’t know how to react to this and what to think, leading you to doing nothing.

Ran Mao seemed to notice it as well, blinking a bit confused. “Don’t you...like it?” What was this even for a question?

[whumpersdump]

Project Rebirth - CH4: Final Touches

Content! From Whumper’s POV. (They’ll get a title soon btw, I just haven’t decided on a name yet).

[ Previous ] -- [ Masterlist ]

TW: (None of these are graphic) Restraints / blink-and-you-miss it use of  “it” as a pronoun / dehuminization / non-con surgery (non-graphic, whumpee isn’t awake) / lab whump / pet whump / sedation / sensory deprivation (not from Whumpee’s POV) / brain-fiddling? (he talks of an implant that restricts basically everything from speaking to moving. It’s mentioned, not shown)

Everything is set for the first practical stage of Project Rebirth to begin. All that is need is some final surgical attention, and a last talk to Whumper’s new investors. Also no editing we die like Toby’s previous owner...

Whumper sat next to Subject One, like he had every moment of spare time in the past five days. The last two, they barely twitched a muscle. Of course this was in part because of the starvation, but it was nice to have achieved nonetheless. Even if would wear of. Their body may be still, but the occasional twitch, hitch of a breath, told him their mind was racing.

He already picked out a name for them. Their masterpiece, even if it would take nine months before he would see their frantic eyes again. Everything was prepared. Their nursery—which was a rather misleading name, but it fit the process, and the marketing—was almost done, the housing facility would be complete in three months.

Subject One was the only one who really needed to be in the container for the sake of the time that it would give Whumper, but the aspect fit the aesthetic his investors expected. It would be what kept the program running for decades to come.

Subject One shuddered. They’d gotten the message. He’d chosen one of his newly acquired sponsors to deliver it through the earpieces. Not because it needed to be. He could just as easily move, then sedate the subject. Make the chaos in their mind spike just before they’d awake in ominous calm. Comforting calm, though it would take a while for the subject to feel about in that way. They had nine months, it would be enough.

The sponsors needed to feel special anyway. Some of them could make perfect pets, the way they seemed to crave special attention. He could try it someday. With this Project, even they could be reborn.

He nodded at Toby. “Bring them to the surgeon. It’s time for stage 3.”

Toby exited the corner he’d been standing in for the past day. It was a test, to see how obedient he really was. So far, Whumper had been pleased. Sure, seeing pets shiver at the thought of accidentally moving a muscle without permission could be rewarding, but it didn’t bring the type of productivity he needed. Toby’s compliant personality, in combination with Whumper’s training, did.

Toby reached for the subject’s shoulder like he always did.

“Not anymore, Toby,” Whumper commanded. “No more touching of any kind. You can move them, tube and all.”

Toby obeyed. With precision, he took the hand truck out of place and rolled it over to the doors that opened to the medical wing. Subject One would feel this, but it wasn’t enough to skew the results. If anything, it could amplify the result he was looking for.

He followed behind Toby, but entered the door to the watching room instead of the OR like Toby did. That’s where his funding was waiting. He hated having to care about it, but money was simply necessary for him to scale up the Project. “Thank you for coming back,” he told the seven investors waiting for him. “As I’ve said before, most of the program is completely tailored to your pet and the pet you wish they become. That means, no program looks or feels the same. This part though, they all have in common.”

He guided their gazes down to the OR—where the surgeon had sedated the subject—and begun the procedure. Toby watched from his corner, as Whumper had told him to. This would be the only time he was allowed this close to a subject before Rebirth, so Whumper made sure he knew as much as possible. The pet didn’t lie. He used to, but his previous owner trained it out of him.

If he were to fulfill any purpose at all in the future, he would have to learn to. Knowing about the stages before meeting the Reborn subjects was a good way to teach them. After all, he’d be the one to truly push the subject’s minds over the edge.

The investors patiently waited for Whumper to explain what was happening. “The implant all subjects receive is what makes this project so realistic. Like a newborn child, they have to learn everything. Eating, speaking, resisting, if you want them to. All in an effort to recreate them into the pet they were always meant to be. Now of course, some of them have skills we do want them to keep. Take Toby down there, he’s a master on the piano. For each pet, the implant’s functions can be customized.”

One of the investors raised her hand. “What are your plans for this one then?” she asked. “Does it have anything worth keeping?”

Whumper smiled. “In a less dire situation, we might have chosen to keep certain parts of them, but as you’ve noticed this is not the average pet we’re talking about. They will be reborn a blank slate. The only thing any pets are allowed to keep is their understanding of language—so they can obey commands, and their ability form minimal amounts of coherent thought and memory. We’ve found that this process works best if to some extent, the pets are aware of the changes. A risk, I know, especially with this one, but it will prove efficient.”

He straightened his tie. “This one in particular has quite the mouth, and they tend to use a bit too much of what they hear against their trainers. For that reason, we’ve limited their access to their vocabulary a bit more than usual. They’ll be able to understand simple sentences, but we won’t have to worry about their natural perceptiveness.”

“What’s he doing to their eyes?” a second investor asked.

Whumper’s heart fluttered. He’d hoped they’d ask. “Those, are highly sophisticated remote-controlled lenses.” They weren’t necessary, they function was mostly aesthetical from the subject’s perspective. They helped make it all a bit more realistic on both sides, though.

“They don’t have to be removed, ever. Which is why we’re putting them in so early. They control the subject’s ability to see color, and light. Like them implant, we can control them from behind the scenes. They aren’t vital, but they smooth out the transition from the Rebirth into the following stages of the program.”

He glanced down into the OR, where the surgeon was finishing up, and the other staff had begun to prepare the subject for stage 4’s container. “I’m afraid that I can’t show you anymore at this point, so my staff can take on this challenge with as little distraction as possible. However I’m happy to answer as many of your questions as I can.”

Several hands shot up. Whumper smiled.

“What are they doing?” Was the first question.

Whumper gazed down. Four people were removing the restraints and the jacket, and outfitted the subject in the thin white suit that would help keep them healthy and alive throughout the following stage.

They connected the dozens of tubes and wires that would take care of everything they couldn’t handle from outside the container, as he called it. “I’m afraid this is another one of those trade secrets, but what I can tell you is that in spite of how it looks, this will make the pre-Birth stage as realistic as it can be.”

“What about these nurseries that your people kept going on about. I’m sure they’re important, but it all sounds a bit too… human for my taste. I prefer my pets are used to the necessary restraints and housing conditions, so to speak.”

Whumper nodded. He wasn’t surprised to hear this investor thought his standard approach too kind. She’d demanded her pets were kept muzzled and bound at the facility’s daycare, even though they were among the most compliant creatures he’d ever seen.

“As I said,” he answered. “Everything can be customized. This subject I believe, will gain more from approach that teaches them that as a placeable pet, they will be cared for as long they don’t resist. Should you trust us with your pets though, if we decide after the evaluation that another approach may achieve the desired results more efficiently, we’re prepared. We have nurseries of all kinds, and our staff is prepared to fulfill any role they need to play.”

That seemed to please them. Whumper turned to the last question.

“How long does this program take?”

“We have multiple options. The standard program Subject One will go through can take up to sixteen years starting at the Rebirth, with a minimum time of three years. Now of course, that is a long time for a pet to be away. We have two accelerated programs that last either a few months, or even just a few weeks. You’re free to choose, but after the evaluation we will provide you with a suggestion. Not all pets need the full experience. Especially if they’re not old enough to be placed, a longer program can harm the natural development.”

A frown formed on a few faces.

“I can see you’re worried about the results I’ve promised you. You won’t have to wait long. The program may be an intense procedure, but the results will start to show after just a few weeks. The rest of the Project is about making them last, so these—” He dangled the subject’s bright red collar in front of them— “will soon be no more than a reminder of what I’ve solved.”

Whumper clasped his hands. The subject was moved out of the OR, into the container hall. “I must go now. My assistant will be up shortly to escort you out. I should mention Toby’s not allowed to be too talkative around strangers, but he’s still learning. If he breaks any rules, please contact me. He doesn’t respond well to strangers punishing him, he’s a bit too loyal for that.”

Taglist (asks are open if you wanna be added or removed): @suspicious-whumping-egg

[haequarius]

prince

pairing: jeno x fem reader

genre: smut, slight angst

word count: 2.6k

warnings: soft dom!jeno, fingering (with a ring), corruption kink, mouth fucking, finger sucking, tearing, praising, swearing, protected sex

summary: prince jeno is the perfection itself; he’s cold and attractive, he seems a god. he’s dangerous and you know that, but he’s addicting.

notes: i was inspired by jeno’s resonance pt 2 teaser pic, his vibe there is immaculate; also this has a lot of plot, I’m warning you :D btw let me know if u like this/if it’s worth it to write a part 2^^ 

-

Jeno climbs on the bed on top of you, looking dangerously at your naked body. The red silk material wrapped around his thigh softly rubs your skin as he makes himself space between your legs. 

he smirks watching you eagerly, his heavy breath is the only sign he’s already broken at the sight of you waiting for him to take you. his confidence, his strength, the way he acts like he’s always in control, always perfect, are the things that make you weak for him. 

you don’t know if his personality is really like this or if it’s because of his role; after all, he’s gonna be king someday. his image has to be perfect, impeccable, and he knows that damn well. 

his presence is stunning and intimidating, his gaze is always scanning everyone, just like god judges souls. His eyes are bullets in your heart, and you’re sure that every person who gets to be near him feels the same. However, not everyone close to him gets to fuck him. 

He wraps his hand around your neck tenderly, then he caresses down your chest and massages your breast. He makes sure to rub your nipple with his ring, making you shiver at the sensation of the cold material. Now his grin is even wider; even if you try to hold yourself back, he’s aware of the effect his every move has on you. You’re literally down for him, for everything he wants. 

His hand travels on your body, you feel him everywhere. His touch is intoxicating. 

He rubs his hand on your thigh, up and down, making you bite your lip in anticipation. He lowers his head to leave soft kisses on your jaw.  

“There’s no way you can hide how you desire me baby, you know that” he whispers in your ear, his hot breath tickling your skin, “but the fact that you think you can, makes you so cute” he attaches his lips under your lobe, sucking hard on your skin. he lets go and licks where he sucked, and then sucks again until you let out a moan. “I wonder what I’ve done to deserve a pretty girl like you who waits for me all naked until i come back. you’re so good to me” 

you wonder that as well. before jeno, you didn’t even know what sex was. you’ve always touched yourself, from time to time, but you had never fucked or had anything like that with anyone. you’ve always thought about sex but never found someone to experiment it with, until you met jeno. 

the first time you saw him was at a royal party. you were beside the princess you work for, as always, staying behind her and talking only when she needed you. that night, as you scanned the hall to see who your princess was going to meet, you saw him. and as if he knew, his eyes were already on you, and you weren’t able to think about anything else from that moment on. 

he was like fire to you, so dangerously attractive. his gaze so deep and poisoning, so evil it makes you shiver at the only thought of it. 

you tried to avoid him, of course. he looked exactly like the kind of boy who makes you fall in love with him, plays with you until your completely broken and then leaves as if nothing happened. but from that night on, you started to see him everywhere. physically and mentally. you touched yourself, thinking of him. you thought you were going crazy and tried to act chill, even in front of him. 

then he tried to talk to you.

the way he speaks is mesmerizing; he has a soft deep voice that is so charming, the way he talks is so captivating and he’s incredibly smart. 

Judging from the way he looked at you, it was obvious he wanted your body. 

even though you were perfectly aware of being just one of his many preys, you accepted. 

as he leaned his hands on you the first time, you were completely his. 

“I can’t believe no one touched you like this before”, his hand is now on your core, caressing it slightly. you can’t stop yourself from watching down.  

He smirks against your skin, starting to rub your clit with his ringed finger. “you know”, he sucks on your lobe, “that’s the ring that’s gonna make me king, pretty girl. what would people think if they knew I fucked you with that, uh?”

you moan at his words, the pace he’s rubbing your clit faster and faster. he drags his index inside you and presses your clit with his thumb, fucking you impossibly slowly. his finger goes in and out your hole, making you whimper every time the ring slides inside of you.  

You grab his wrist with both your hands. “jeno, faster, please” you say breathless.

he grins impossibly widely. “or what, my baby?”

you’re almost crying. “or don’t move at all, please, this is painful” 

“oh baby” he fakes disappointment, frowning and pouting. he slides his finger out and tries to back off, but you stop him, grabbing his arm with urgency.

“no, no, don’t leave me, please” 

he’s enjoying this so fucking much. “why don’t you touch yourself as you want, my pretty? I’m gonna go and you get to please yourself as you want, mh?”

“no, please”, you tighten your grip around his arm, watching him with teary eyes, begging. “I’ll be good, I promise”. 

you know he’s really gonna do it, if you misbehave. It happened before and it was awful; him leaving you messed up after overstimulating you, alone in his room. 

when you least expect it, he slides his finger roughly inside of you. you moan loudly, arching your back as he presses his body on yours while fucking you, his thumb back on your clit. your body slightly moves up and down the mattress, and your hard nipples rub harshly against the metal of the royal brooches on jeno’s jacket. 

“you’re over the edge, and it’s not even because of my cock, you’re so fucking cute”.  

He adds another finger and speeds up his pace, the sloppy sound of his fingers covered in your wetness rubbing against your skin makes your walls clench.  

“you’re so tight, how’s your tight pussy gonna take my cock?” 

you’re not even thinking straight. he’s pumping his fingers so hard into you, you have to grip his hair and hold on his back, to keep yourself grounded. you moan and scream his name in non-coherent sentences as your orgasm hits you, a multitude of bright colors shines behind your closed eyelids as your reach your high. 

your breath is heavy, and as you open your eyes and start to focus on reality, you find jeno’s eyes on you. you expected to see him with an amused smirk on his lips watching his favorite show, but there’s no trace of amusement in his expression. his eyes are dark, darker than ever, his expression serious, dangerous. the last time he looked at you like this, you couldn’t walk for the next two days. 

he finally slides his fingers out of you, completely coated in your arousal. his piercing eyes are deeply into yours as he brings his fingers into his mouth, sucking your juices as if it was the sweetest thing he’s ever tasted. when his fingers are clean, he pushes them inside of your core again, coating them with your arousal til his knuckles. he brings them back into his mouth, licking them eagerly. his eyes never leave yours and you grasp for air at the sight, pressing your thighs together. 

he smiles and takes his fingers out of his mouth, touching your lips. you open your mouth and wrap your tongue around his long, slim fingers, licking them until he presses them down your throat, making you tear. you feel his cold ring pressing on your tongue, and you moan. 

“can you taste yourself?” he’s sitting on his knees, watching you from high, “of course not, I couldn’t let off a single drop, it was so sweet”

you grab onto his palm as he fucks your mouth with his fingers, a little river of saliva running down your neck. you watch his dark gaze, stoic and apparently cold. as you lower your eyes down to his crotch you feel your pussy clench. his cock is so hard, aching in his tight silk red pants. 

you moan again, not able to stop yourself. 

jeno chuckles fondly and pulls out his fingers from your mouth, pouting. he climbs off the bed with still that grin on his face. he’s playing, like he always does. he wants to tease you and leave you over the edge, he wants to have fun.

he stands in front of the bed, hands behind his back. his strong figure is impeccable as always: his tonic legs in those silk pants, his muscled torso covered by a white shirt and a black jacket covered in royal brooches; one for his family, one which indicates his dynasty, one which is the prince’s sign and so on. a lot of complicated royal shit. 

Such elegant signs on a man who watches your weak, naked figure on his bed, waiting for him to move. or speak. or even breathe. 

“sit on your knees” he orders, slightly lifting his chin to watch you from behind his eyelids. 

you do as he told you, obedient like a puppy to his owner. 

he chuckles, letting his head fall a little. “no, baby. you don’t have to face me. turn around”

you gulp. you help yourself leaning your palms on the mattress to turn, then kneel and sit. you rub your palms on your thighs. your heart pounds furiously on you chest and your hands tremble. it’s adrenaline, and you love this so fucking much. 

You hear him taking his clothes off and the sound of the fabric slithering on his skin. you imagine his beautiful naked body exposed. jeno rarely lets you touch him as you want. when he lets you it’s because you need to, or because he orders you to. the occasion you get to touch him more is usually when you ride him; you can lean on his chest, hold him, suck on his nipples, kiss his neck. that’s why that’s the type of sex you like the most, and he knows that. of course he knows.

you hear him opening a drawer, taking a condom and sliding it on his dick in a minute. you feel his weight pressing on the mattress as he reaches for your body. the first thing that touches you it’s his hard cock, pressing on the bottom of your back. you gasp feeling the tension building at the base of your stomach. 

he comes closer, pressing his length between his abdomen and your lower back. he caresses your arm, up and down, and rubs the tip of his nose on the crook of your neck. 

he wraps his strong arms around your body and holds you tight, making your back lean on him. when your back touches his warm torso you automatically lean your head on his shoulder, sighing heavily. he caresses your breast and down your stomach, making you tremble under his touch. he touches your core with two fingers. “you’re wet again, for me. such a cute baby” 

he kisses your shoulder and you pant already, wishing his cock inside of you. feeling his aching length pushed against you is torture. 

“I want to fuck you until I break you, until I bring you over the edge and you can only scream my name, until you can’t think straight, baby girl. and i want you to think of that every time you touch yourself”

you think you already do that. “jeno” you whisper softly, your impatient body moves slightly making jeno’s cock rub against your back.  

he lets out a growl. “stay still”

you nod and make a sound that is something between pleasure and agreement. when jeno touches you, it’s impossible to think straight. just the thought of his hands on you makes your brain malfunction. having your body completely laying on his, and his hands not letting a single inch of your skin not touched, is the most lustful thing you can think of.  

he holds you tighter and lifts you with him, both of you now standing on your knees. jeno presses his palm on your lower back to make it arch. he rubs the tip of his cock on your entrance and coats it with your arousal; the sound of his heavy breath is mixing with yours, both your hot bodies clinging. he taps your mouth with his finger, and before you frown and ask him why, he buries his cock inside you with a sharp move that makes you scream and catches your breath.

he fucks you just like he told he would: rough, with no mercy, like he was possessed; every thrust deep and harsh into you, until his balls are pressed against you. he fucks you hard and holds your body still, hugging tightly your torso against him. You lay on him, your eyes rolled back while you’re completely drowning in pleasure. It goes like this for a while, jeno so overwhelmed he can only say your name and let out deep growls from the back of his throat, breathlessly thrusting into you with all of his strength. It’s a matter o minutes before you leave your head on his shoulder, completely gone. Your pussy continuously clenches around his cock and Jeno starts moaning, incapable of holding it. He moans, and swears, and says your name, and you cum again, reaching one of the most intense orgasm you’ve ever had.  

“fuck, fuck. fuck, i’m losing it” he grunts, and with a few slow and sharp thrusts into you he cums, releasing himself.  

He pants leaning his sweaty forehead on your shoulder.  

You both stay like this, catching your breaths; you still hold onto his forearms wrapped around you, his is cock softening inside you. he rubs his forehead on your shoulder and slips out of you. as he backs off, you suddenly feel cold, and your still shaking body almost falls flat on the mattress.  

Your eyelids feel heavy but you don’t want to close your eyes; you watch him throw the condom in the trash and run a hand between his slightly sweat brown hair. he catches your gaze, like he always does.  

“you can sleep if you want, pretty” he says while grabbing his clothes from the floor.  

you lay on the mattress leaning your head on your arm, exhausted. You shake your head. “where are you going?”

he looks up at you for a moment while jumping into a new pair of expensive silk pants he just grabbed from his huge wardrobe. “to a boring place with boring people” he grins, “I needed something to think about, tonight”

you slightly smile. “I think you have it”

in a few minutes the usually god like jeno is back. His perfect, stoic and heavenly presence, his hair not messy anymore, his dark gaze focused on his duty. And you already miss him, you miss the jeno who loses control while drowning in your body, the jeno who looks at you full of lust and calls you baby.  

but he’s not there anymore. he looks at you briefly before leaving. “i’ll call you” he says, and closes the door behind him.  

You’re left there, caressing the white sheets where you get to have him, imagining to kiss him, to hug him, to have him for a little more time with you and you feel so, damn pathetic. You knew that’s how this story was gonna end up. you knew that.

[insomniziam]

Okay I'm ready. I'm the anon from yesterday who lost a whole ass rant. I'm ready to do it again(I'm typing this is the notes app first!!)

So I follow quite few Larry blogs that I love and respect cause they never give any shit about the stunts and defend Harry and louis so fiercely. I really like them for that. But lately they've been getting anon asks about ziam and idk why would people do that?? Like we'd make it very clear if we are ziams. Super crystal clear cause there are few of us(compared to the whole of directioner fandom). Honestly these blogs replied quite civilly like "I don't have any opinion about ziam cause I don't follow them closely" and such which is mature and good. But sometimes after numerous asks things do get heated and they let slip a sentence or two that really hurts. Like someone said the name ziammies is a fucking joke and I know we don't like it either and we'd prefer ziams. But it is so much more different when someone who doesn't believe zayn and Liam say that. And someone else listed all the things that make people believe in Larry and told that for ziam they only know about Zayn posting a selfie with a filter and both of them going blonde after a breakup(?)

It hurts my heart cause there's so much more than that. The casual soft reverent touches. Sharing orange eye ring that Zayn recreated in his like I would mv. Wearing brands that are associated with each other. Zayn fucking tatooing Liam's single cover waaaay before it got announced. Zayn literally having Liam's name and face tatooed on him. The almost kisses. The definite kiss on that dark stage that louis had to transform into on-the-spot cuddle. Eyebrow slits even after all these years. Family's support of the other boys. How they almost let it slip that they got a dog together in 1D day. One missing feather in zayns wing that is conveniently tattooed in Liam's arm with the words I figured it out curling around it. Which are the words to the song you & i which is point blank ziam anthem. It was the only song confirmed by Liam to be played before he let other 1D songs to be chosen by fans to be played at his online gig.

I don't need anyone to validate the "realness" of ziam. They are screaming enough. I'm hearing enough. But I can't tell all these to those blogs cause that bridge is burned and any talk about ziam is soured.

And I can't help but notice this. This is not comparing. I'm a larrie and a ziam. More people recognise Louis' babygate cause it happened with a nobody and people were screaming about his closet. Zayn's happened with a well known model who has a fanbase of her own so she can get away with not showing the baby's face(she "accidentally" revealed it anyway). Jungle family has only he-looks-like-louis-card so they overuse it. Posting baby's pics with ads? Check on both sides. Family members using the baby to promote their life? Check on both sides. Supposed baby mamas posting pics of the baby which gets far more likes than their regular posts? Check on both sides. Zayn likes louis' father announcement post(he rarely likes the boys' pics) and 4 years later louis goes out of his way to like zayns father announcement pic when zouis has never interacted once in those 4 years and there's beef between them?? And that's normal? That's not louis hinting at something amiss with the baby?? That's not enough proof to know that this is babygate 3.0? Liam's is more of a backburner babygate but it's still there. Like he has a baby with reclusive Cheryl and conveniently has one shit Polaroid pic and then bam. She just posts the baby's voice and stuff and that's done?? The common thing btw Liam and Zayn is that they know shit about babies. Liam telling his son can talk good when he was one??? Zayn telling it's really easy to be with a newborn baby?? Sure Jan. This irks me really. Anyway this is my loong looooong rant and I hope this finds you safe :)

Again, I'm so sorry this took me so long to respond to!

I share all of your frustrations, but you can't help people that don't want it, unfortunately, but at least then it's no longer your problem!

Just know that you're not crazy for holding differing beliefs, and you have a legitimate reason to do so. You'll learn that there's no point in having these discussions with people who don't want to listen, and save your time for things you actually love to do!

Again, so sorry this took me so long, I hope you're safe as well! Feel free to come back at anytime 😘

[suganovakawa]

Hello I wanna say that I love ur work 🥺 I’m new to the haikyuu fandom and ur work gives me life! Can I request a HC with Tanaka, Daichi, Suga & asahi and how they would react when they see other teams at a tournament flirt with you and how they act when they’re jealous? Thank you !

absolutely omg i love my karasuno babies and them being jEALOUS??? this is my calling goodBYE

btw btw welcome to the hq fandom bby !! enjoy your stay here 🥺💞💘💓

𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐋𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐎𝐅𝐅 !

karasuno boys fend off other teams as they try to flirt with you !

— check out my masterlist !!

these boys don’t take too kindly to other teams trying to flirt with you . . . and they’re not gonna deal with it for much longer ! >:)

a / n : jealous anything >>>> and you cannot change my mind because it’s my weakness k thx bye 🥰

— ask to be added to my taglist !!

taglist : @yams046 @janellion

ryuunosuke tanaka

lmao flirting w you is like asking for a death sentence i do not make the rules

tanaka is not afraid to show you off , nor is he afraid to show off your guys’ relationship at tournaments either

he has full trust in you dw , but that doesn’t mean he trusts the men that get a little too close for comfort

if his death glare alone doesn’t scare them off i feel so sorry for them

ryu will 100% call someone out if they’re obviously flirting with you

“ hey , punk ??? you’re trying to flirt with them , huh ??? gotta tell ya , you’re out of luck , go find someone else . this hot stuff right here is mine , thank you very much . ”

he gets so confused when you get embarrassed because what ??? he’s just telling them the truth

“ ryu ! you can’t just call me ‘ hot stuff ’ in the middle of the gym !! ”

“ why not , baby ? you are hot stuff ! they’re just bummed out you’re not theirs . ”

not to mention , 8 times out of 10 noya will probably be right there with tanaka scaring off the suitors

those two are literally your bodyguards , and once they know that someone else has their sights set on you , do not expect them to leave your side

also , he holds a FULL GRUDGE against ladies men type people

cough cough tooru i’m talking bout u bby

you are to stay a mile away from oikawa and all of aoba johsai at all times , ryu will not accept otherwise

oh , and terushima ??? YEAH HES NOT EVEN GONNA LAY EYES ON YOU ONCE LMAO

at least , not without tanaka’s arm wrapped around your waist

gotta make sure they understand you ain’t on the market

all in all a very protective baby crow , can and will fight anyone who tries flirting with you so pls don’t test him

daichi sawamura

daichi is definitely the silent but deadly type let me assure you

i don’t care where that man is , he’ll always have an eye on you regardless

oh and he’ll probably have the rest of his team have their eyes on you too ; just in case there is a small instance where he can’t keep his eyes on you

yuu , ryu , and shoyo will be paying the most attention to you when the captain is not able to watch over you at the tournaments

lord have mercy to those who somehow actually get past daichi’s security

my best guess is that you’re probably on like , a water bottle run in between games , so that everyone can have fresh cold water during timeouts n whatnot

yeah you’ll probably get hit on by another guy in the halls ( let’s pretend it’s yuuji because i love him so much LMAO pls hit on me teru )

anyway he’ll def be at your neck like how he was tryna get kiyoko’s number

sadly you can’t do much because you have a bunch of water bottles in your hands so you’re just tryna shimmy away but terushima is not having it

out of nowhere his face blanks

literally pales

you’re about to ask him what that’s about until you feel an arm snake around your waist

like i said , the silent but deadly type

you can’t see daichi’s face as he’s staring down yuuji , but you can hear the annoyance in his voice

“ oh there you are , y/n . you need help carrying these water bottles , baby ? ”

you turn to yuuji , who has his hands up — clearly getting the message daichi was giving to him

“ alright alright , my bad ~ ! didn’t know they were yours , man . i’ll take my leave . ”

but he did add a “ see you later cutie ” before leaving the two of you alone

you couldn’t help but laugh as the captain latched onto you protectively as the two of you went back to the gym

“ daichi , it’s okay , he’s gone now ! you’ve done your job in saving me ”

“ nonsense . i can sense their eyes on you from everywhere . you’re not leaving my sight again , y/n . ”

koushi sugawara

koushi is definitely also a silent jealous type

but he’s more mellow when showing it subtly

but don’t get me wrong , the effect it leaves on others is just as menacing

he’s the type to leave that shiver of fear when he shows up

basically he’s a sweetie until people mess with you and that’s just on periodt

suga is not too protective over you , since he does trust you and has full confidence you won’t do anything to hurt him

cough cough he still wants the other nasty boogers keeping their hands off you though

i literally just imagine him going up to people like “ :))))) ??? ” when people try flirting with you LMAO

like ?? no ??? they’re ??? mine ????

not ???????? yours ??????

he’ll have that chilling ring in his voice that’s deadpan but menacing at the same time — sometimes he even scares you with it

you had a run in with tooru at the preliminaries , RIP bless his soul

you went to go watch a match while karasuno was resting ; seijoh was resting at the same time

he got a little too close for comfort in the audience stand

flashed you a famous smile of his , “ what’s a cutie like you doing here alone ? ”

“ she’s not alone , actually . ”

KFKKDKFKFKD both of your heads went a whole 180 at the sound of koushi’s voice

oh no he had that creepy smile again

“ baby , we were just looking for you . is oikawa bothering you ? ”

he turned his :) to tooru , who had already stepped a decent distance away from you

“ heaven forbid you’d be bothering y/n , oikawa , when you have a whole fanbase of girls you could be bothering instead . ”

the great king had never been so scared of a karasuno player in his life

he left in a hurry without saying much — though he was grumbling something you two couldn’t understand

switch from scary suga to soft suga uwu

he wrapped his arms around you and grinned pleasantly this time as he hugged you

“ sweetheart , don’t hesitate to tell me if anyone else is like that to you , okay ? i’ll make them go away . ”

“ koushi , you’re so scary when you’re angry ”

“ i am ? i didn’t think i was ”

“ look at how oikawa backed away when you came up ! hardly anyone can phase him ”

“ oh . maybe i am scary , but only when it comes to you . ”

he laughed and took you by the hand , and you two walked back to the rest of the team

scary suga never fails to keep the nasty boogers away

asahi azumane

he won’t even realize he’s jealous until someone points it out to him

i think nishi would be the one to point it out to him , because woah asahi looks mad

“ yo , asahi ? you good ? your knuckles are turning white ! ”

he’s been looking your direction ever since the date tech players started surrounding you , striking up conversation

he didn’t even realize yuu was talking to him until he literally had to jump up and wave in his face

asahi snapped out of it once noya caught his attention — his fists were still clenched tho

“ oh — noya . i’m fine , why ? ”

the libero didn’t buy it one bit because he didn’t know the ace even had it in him to be angry

he looked to where asahi had his eyes on the whole time before turning back to the third year with a smirk

“ you’re gonna let them just flirt with y/n like that ? what kind of boyfriend are you ? go go go ! ”

oh no yuu what did you do

“ they’re flirting with y/n ? ”

he was f u r i o u s at the thought of it

oh no no no they were not going to be flirting with you , not while asahi was your boyfriend no sir

he stormed over towards you — your back was towards karasuno so the date tech players noticed him first

asahi + scary dark death glare = run

and the date tech players — besides aone — did just that , scampering off in a hurry

you were confused until you turned around , smiling when you saw your giant teddy bear of a boyfriend

you were utterly oblivious to the stare down between him and aone

“ asahi ! shouldn’t you be practicing now ? ”

he placed a gentle but firm arm around your waist , pulling you closer to him without taking his eyes off date tech’s ace

“ yeah , but we were looking for you . i’ve come to bring you back , y/n . ”

oh heck yeah there was tension as he brought you back to your guys’ court

“ those players weren’t flirting with you , were they y/n ? ”

“ huh ? oh no ! i was just catching up with a couple of them , since i went to middle school with some of them . why ? ”

“ oh , nothing ”

you couldn’t even ask him anything else as he walked away without another word , which was very not like him

you had to get the answer from nishinoya later on , who was laughing hysterically at your description of the way your boyfriend was acting

“ OMG Y/N HE REALLY WAS JEALOUS , I TOLD HIM THAT DATE TECH WAS FLIRTING WITH YOU I CANT BELIEVE HE BELIEVED ME ”

after the tournament both of you were blubbering apologies to each other

you apologizing for making asahi jealous

and asahi apologizing for acting like a brat about it

in summary , asahi + jealousy = pls save yourself from that man he is terrifying

he’ll make it up to you with tons n tons of cuddles later so he’s still your big teddy bear <3

[sophie-writings]

maybe some angsty shinsou for the prompt “It was supposed to be you!” 🥺👉🏼👈🏼 ((i love your writing btw))

ahhh! I loved how this one turned out!! Another soulmate AU!! 🧚🏼‍♀️

Character: Shinsou Hitoshi

Type: Headcanons

Soulmate AU: Every time your soulmate lies, their words are written on you.

Shinsou Hitoshi 

☁️ Once upon a time, everyone had a soulmate, but as time went on and the Gods grew resented towards humans, the magic was getting weaker.

☁️ In a world were soulmates were disappearing, you were one of the ones who was born without one.

☁️ You didn't really mind since being born with a soulmate was rare these days.

☁️ The only person you knew who actually had a soulmate was your best friend Shinsou.

☁️ You met Shinsou during middle school and were inseparable ever since.

☁️ He always knew what to tell you to make you feel better, and it was like he could see right through your lies whenever you told him "I'm fine." And you weren't.

☁️ You didn't know for certain what his "hint" was, but you knew that sometimes there would appear a sentence on his wrist.

☁️ He never let you read it though.

☁️ Honestly, the fact that Shinsou had a soulmate was heart-breaking.

☁️ You knew the butterflies on your stomach whenever he got a little too close wasn't normal.

☁️ And the jealousy whenever caught a glimpse of his wrist was an absolute give away.

☁️ You had feelings for your best friend, but you couldn't bring yourself to tell him that since he already had someone assigned to him.

☁️ Someone perfect for him.

☁️ So you did your best to hide those feelings for him while helping him out in every step of the way to become a hero just like he wanted.

☁️ Time passed and when you realized, you're both graduating from the hero course at UA.

☁️ Shinsou still didn't find his soulmate, and you didn't leave his side for a second.

☁️ Your feelings for Shinsou haven't subsided, in fact, they only grew stronger as you saw him grow into the hero he was today.

☁️ But life goes on, and you couldn't feed into the feelings of a love that would never come to.

☁️ So you started going on dates, meeting new people, and doing your best to spend more time away from Shinsou.

☁️ You didn't want to, but you had to think about your feelings too.

☁️ It's been a month since you last saw Shinsou, and you actually felt like you were finally getting over him.

☁️ You didn't think about him as much and felt pretty confident you only saw him as a friend now.

☁️ But all of that came crashing down when you opened the front door of your apartment, to find Shinsou staring down at you.

☁️ "Why are you avoiding me?" He asks, his glare burning into your eyes.

☁️ "I'm not avoiding you, I've just been busy!" You say, breaking eye contact, his glare being too much for you to handle.

☁️ Shinsou eyebrow twitched and he looked down at his wrist, moving the band covering it. "You're lying."

☁️ "No, I'm not!"

☁️ "Stop lying! I know you are because I can see it right here!" He raised his voice and showed you his wrist.

☁️ In black ink, almost like a tattoo, the words 'no, I'm not' were there plastered.

☁️ "Wait, that means..." Your brains couldn't process the situation.

☁️ “It was supposed to be you!” He finally let out. "You were supposed to be my soulmate, but no! My lies never appeared on your wrist!"

☁️ "Shinsou..."

☁️ "What happened? You finally found him, didn't you? That's why you've been avoiding me?"

☁️ "Shinsou!"

☁️ "You promised you'd stay by my side no matter what-"

☁️ "SHINSOU!"

☁️ Shinsou finally stopped talking and sighed, bringing his hands to his face.

☁️ "What?"

☁️ "Your lies never appeared on my wrist, because I was born without a soulmate." You hold your arms up, showing your wrist to him, trying to get your point across.

☁️ Shinsou didn't say anything for a second, letting the shock settle down. "I... I didn't know."

☁️ You sighed and smiled lightly. "I've had this crush on you since we were like 13 and you never told me I was your soulmate?"

☁️ "I thought I wasn't your soulmate when I lied to your on purpose and nothing happened." He stated. "I thought you had a soulmate, but it wasn't me."

☁️ "Oh God, we're so stupid."

☁️ "Yeah, we are." He said before getting closer and pulling you into a hug. "But we can be stupid together now."

[pomegranates-and-blood]

The Holly And The Ivy

My Masterlist

Pairing: Ivar/Reader, Sigurd/Reader, Sigurd/Margrethe

Summary: “I had this idea where Sigurd (or any of the brothers really) were to marry a Christian, but their marriage is dry and more political than anything, but Ivar is fascinated by her attitude (being opposite of him) and her love for life and simple things. He hears the reader and who she's married to talking about how she loves Christmas and he shuts her down, but Ivar decides to let her pick out a tree from the forest and put it up in the Great Hall and decorate it any way she wants. And the ending would include a kiss under mistletoe? If you can work with it.”

I’m very sorry if I dissapoint you anon, but the story was easier or smoother for me to write as a Modern!AU. I really hope you don’t mind. I can try something in the actual time period still, if you are not happy with au’s.

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: Mentions of cheating, passing mentions of abusive relationships (not involving any of the relationsips in the tag btw), angst, my poor attempt at holiday fics or holiday spirit. Also, a part is not smut or explicit but getting closer to it than most of my work, so that too.

A/N: I really hope I don’t dissapoint whoever requested this. Also, I made this way more complicated than it needed to be, bc I always do, and for that I’m also sorry. Hope you like this, thank you for reading!

The title is from a Christmas carol, cause why not lol

Taglist: @1950schick @youbloodymadgenius​ (I realized you once asked to be tagged on my Vikings works and I forgot, sorry)

“When we are done with this trip we’ll go back home.” Sigurd points out one night as you both say goodnight, in some hotel somewhere in Norway.

“Home?”

“To my mother’s, in a week. Family time and all that.”

Before you are to leave for your own room, you call out, “For Christmas?”

The blond shakes his head, “Yule. You can celebrate your Christmas when we return.”

“That’ll be after the New Year!” You complain softly, offering a smile because you cannot help it.

“I will have to deal with Ivar and my mother, you can deal with this.” Sigurd sentences, the harshness startling you and prompting you to accept the words with a nod.

He mutters a goodnight again, hesitating for a moment on his bedroom door, as if questioning whether he should say sorry or not. You choose to relieve him of that choice, going into your own room and closing the door with a quiet click.

As if it were waiting for the door to close, your phone lights up on your nightstand.

How’s Oslo?

You type a quick response,

You could just ask me if we’ll be attending your mother’s celebrations, you know.

The response takes a while longer, and you cannot help the smile that pulls at your lips.

…Are you?

I expect all those lessons of yours with Floki to come to use. I’m going to need to learn about Yule, apparently.

So I’m supposed to teach you?

Who else?

Your fiancé. Is the reply you get, so fast you think he already knew what your reply was going to be before you even sent it. After a moment, before you can even think on what to answer, another message comes through. Nvm, my brother is useless. I’ll do it.

Your lips pull into a wide and stupid smile, and God, not even the shame at the quick beating of your heart or the warmth that spreads through you could make you be any less thankful for this, if anything. For him.

Thank you. Are you going to be there by Christmas?

This time the answer takes a while longer, and the indication that he is typing appears and disappears a few times.

I don’t know. Before you can ask anything, or send anything, a new message pops up. Princess, this doesn’t get any easier. I don’t know if I can.

Tears rise in your eyes because a part of you knows you’re meant to say goodbye at the end, and every time you are reminded, either by the pain in your own chest or Ivar’s words, that you are on borrowed time; you realize that end is close than you think.

Well, in that case, Merry Christmas, Ivar.

____

You find yourself being driven to that massive and fancy house by your fiancé.

You toy with your engagement ring as the car approaches the house. You know, rationally, that you have nothing to fear. The brothers have never been mean or hurtful -well, most of them haven’t-, and Aslaug has always been courteous and kind and…incredibly performative.

A part of you never ceased to feel like an outsider looking in. Between the pariah that a stupid business practice will be made into Sigurd’s wife, and the silent and soft woman they ignore as if she were another piece of furniture, you’d much rather be the latter.

“Heavy little thing, isn’t it?” Sigurd teases as he turns off the engine, motioning with his head to the rings on your left hand.

You don’t say anything in response, simply getting out of the car in silence. You know he meant well, he always does.

But a part of you that is hopeful and childish and still looks at the snow that starts to fall lightly over the ground as some miracle that means Christmas is upon us…that part of you cannot help but feel bitter about it all. Regretful, or, maybe, resentful.

You never imagined life would be this, engagement -marriage- would be this. You thought of happiness and warmth and fidelity.

Foolish hopes, really. The hopes of a child that watched her parents dance to the light of the Christmas lights, to the music of the soft music her father hummed. Nothing but foolish hopes.

So, when Sigurd steps out and hesitates in offering you his hand, you offer a smile and take his hand in yours, choosing to appreciate that at least the man you will be forced to marry is one you might call a friend, a partner, one day.

It is easy to forget, it is easy to let your heart be light and just enjoy the adorable giggles of Björn and Torvi’s children, the sympathetic smile of Margrethe, the warm and brotherly embrace of Hvitserk.

You are sipping on wine and watching Ubbe throw Asa over his head as she yells for him to throw her higher when a presence stands by your side and a wine glass clinks with your own in silent toast.

“I know you know about Sigurd and me,” Margrethe whispers, “And I want you to know I am sorry. But…I won’t leave him, not until he asks me to.”

If a year ago someone told you that you’d spent Christmas Eve being told by your fiancé’s mistress that she refuses to stop seeing him, you would have assumed the world turned on its head.

It did, but…you still find it in you to love this world that hurts you, this life that tests you.

You offer a smile, “I know you love him. It started as…”

“Gold-digging?” The blonde supplies, a sheepish grimace on her face.

“I wouldn’t be as unkind as to-…”

“You should. That’s what it was,” Her smile loses the edge, and she falters, “At first.”

You accept her words with a nod, and another sip of your wine.

“Then as long as you are discreet, I don’t mind. Keep him happy, Margrethe, he deserves it.”

You start to walk away when she stops you with a call of your name.

“And you don’t? Deserve to be happy, I mean.”

You hesitate, faltering for a few seconds too long. Her blue eyes are big and uncharacteristically honest as they look at you.

“I…”

You take your gaze off hers, because it feels like she will know something she shouldn’t, something you don’t want her to; but your eyes betray you, it seems.

“Oh, him. Well-kept secret, that one,” She states, and when you open your mouth to argue, Margrethe shakes her head, “It’s okay, I don’t…I don’t blame you. Even if I don’t understand at all how that came to be.”

“It’s…”

“Complicated?” The blonde supplies, and you allow yourself a smile, you loosen your shoulders and close your eyes with a deep breath.

“Ivar, he…understands me.”

“But you two are nothing alike,” She states, and at your shrug, concedes, “Maybe that’s why.”

“Maybe,” You offer, and after a breath, because bitter regret at being the thing that keeps her from the man she loves chokes you for a moment, “Margrethe, I…”

“Don’t you even think of apologizing to me,” She laughs, “Gods, woman, you truly are a soft thing, aren’t you?”

“I have the privilege of being it.” You offer with a kind smile, because you’ve seen the scars, because you remember her when she was more fragile.

Margrethe shakes her head, “The burden.” She corrects, and with a soft squeeze of her free hand on your arm, she walks away.

____

It’s on the day before Christmas that the last of the Lothbrok arrives. You walk down the stairs to a very early breakfast, and jump when the front door opens to reveal Ubbe and Ivar.

He came.

“You are up early.” Ubbe comments as he passes you by, dropping a kiss on your cheek.

You greet Ubbe absently, your eyes on his brother. Numbly, you hear him say something about telling Aslaug that Ivar has come home, and quick steps carrying him up the stairs.

Your lips curve into a smile, or at least they try to, “Hi.”

“Hello, Princess,” Ivar greets, what months ago would have been a smirk curving his lips. Now, now it’s more tired and worn than anything. “Just in time for your…Christmas, right?”

You nod, feeling the stupid urge to cry, “Yeah. Means a lot, you know.”

“Well, I could feel you pouting over the phone, love,” His eyes check the stairs before he moves aided by his crutch towards you with a wince of pain -the cold, you remind yourself, the cold making his legs ache-, and once he is before you, a hand that shouldn’t feel as tender as it does cups your cheek and brings your mouth to his. “I couldn’t leave you alone here. You always find ways to embarrass yourself.”

You chuckle, burrowing your head on his chest as you embrace him.

“I may have fucked up a few times,” You concede, eyes closed as you take in his scent, his warmth, “But I’m cute, I get away with a lot of things.”

____

As the timer on your phone dings, you get up from the couch, leaving a warm but strong drink behind, and make your way to the kitchen, ready to take out the sponge cake -no, a voice too alike Ivar corrects you, Bûche de Noël-.

Uneven steps behind you let you know of who walked in behind you, and you turn around with a slight frown on your brows, meaning to ask something before he interrupts you.

“He’s groping and kissing her in front of you, and you say nothing?” Ivar demands, anger shining clearly in his blue eyes.

“Sigurd and Margrethe?” You ask, and shake your head, “Why would I say anything?”

“You know about them.”

“Of course I do. He doesn’t hide it from me, and he shouldn’t hide it from his family. He loves her, and she loves him.”

“You don’t care that he’s humiliating you?” He presses, and you sigh.

“Everyone here knows how things truly are between Sigurd and me.”

Ivar’s mouth curls into a snarl, and cruelty spews from his lips, “Well, if you had let Ragnar know you had no problem letting your husband fuck whoever he wants, you might have been able to marry Björn, like your father wanted.”

You close your eyes, “Don’t be like this.”

“Like what, hm? Like someone that’s watching the woman he-…What am I supposed to be then, hm? What would make you happy?” He accuses, not losing the cruel edge in his voice even if you both know what he stopped himself from admitting. When you don’t answer, Ivar takes a deep and angry breath through his nose, “I’ve always been jealous of my brothers, you know this. Growing up their poor crippled brother is nothing to knowing Sigurd gets you and doesn’t even know what he-…what I’d do to be him.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Make him be the man you deserve!”

“He’s not the man I want,” You point out before you can keep the words trapped behind your lips. Ivar is inexplicably stunned by your words, it seems, and you lower your gaze. Resting your hands on the counter you drop your shoulders and shake your head, letting go of the previous argument and returning to…peace, or as close to it as one can get with Ivar. “Your brother deserves to be as happy as he can, with the woman he loves. It will not hurt me to see him with her. As long as-…”

“‘As long as it is discreet’, yes, I know. My mother and Ragnar have the same agreement.”

“It works for them, does it not?”

Ivar meets your gaze and doesn’t answer for a few moments, long enough that dread sets in your chest and questions arise in your mind.

Eventually, on the side of his jaw the clear tell of gritted teeth, he replies,

“Not as well as you think.”

“Well, Sigurd and I are friends, we…things will work out. They have to.”

“They have to, of course,” He mocks, moving his head as he rolls his eyes, “Anything to keep Ragnar and your father happy, hm?”

“Ivar…”

His eyes search yours, searching for the answer to a question he has not yet asked,

“I-If I asked you not to do this, if I…if I asked you for more time…” He leaves the words hanging between you, and you blink past helpless tears. He knows the answer, you know the answer.

Thankfully, you don’t have to remind him -and yourself- of the world you live in, of the lives you were meant to live, because the door to the kitchen opens and Aslaug walks through.

You keep your eyes firmly set on the tray before you, even though you can feel Ivar’s eyes on you, demanding an answer. When he realizes he will not get one, he grunts, a clenched fist hitting the counter once before he walks away.

“I’m sorry.” You offer the matriarch as she keeps her all-seeing eyes on you, but Aslaug offers a smile. A fake one, but a smile nonetheless.

“The cold gets to Ivar, it makes him irritable. It is not your fault.” She soothes, but the smile you offer her in thanks still trembles. You both know these are lies you are sharing with one another, and though it makes you falter and stumble, Aslaug moves gracefully from one lie to the next.

“I’ll-…” You point behind you, to the living room, but the woman shakes her head.

“Surely you have time to help me with this?” She asks. It feels like walking into a wolf’s den when you nod your head and approach her.

“Of course.”

She watches raptly as you assist her in preparing the Yule Log, and you focus on doing your best to keep your hands from trembling.

“For someone that doesn’t follow the Gods, you know a lot about tradition, girl.”

“I…It was the least I could do, learning about what is important to your family, to Sigurd.” You offer, and whatever she -who always has the look of someone that sees beyond what normal eyes can- can sense in your words makes Aslaug stop.

She turns to you, and surprises you with a hand on your cheek. The woman towards over you, but the gentleness in her touch, the warmth in her eyes, they help you to not feel threatened.

“Still loving the world that hurts you, sweet thing?”

“It’s all I know how to do.”

Aslaug’s smile is almost sad when she looks into your eyes, “To love, yes, I know. Wish I saw that sooner,” You don’t know what to answer to that, so you offer her only a shaky smile and a shrug. Aslaug chuckles gently, “And you love my son, don’t you?”

The terrifying thought that she knows what she’s doing when not saying any names, the realization nothing gets past her and neither did whatever is between you and Ivar, it all settles in your stomach with a dead weight.

Still, whether she asks about Sigurd or Ivar, the answer is the same.

“Yes.”

One as a friend, a partner, a man you can learn to respect and build a life alongside of. The other, as everything you ever wanted, as someone that will always make you wonder about the ‘what if’s.

She shakes off whatever takes a hold of her, and before you can ask what she means, why it pains her, she steps back from you and turns her back to you.

“You know, Ragnar isn’t the only one in this family with an eye for business. I was once in the same position you are now, the heiress to an empire,” Aslaug’s smile seems to thaw as she hands you a refilled glass of wine to match hers. Resting her backside on the counter behind her, she continues, “My parents were able to teach me a few valuable lessons before their death.

She grabs your left hand, stopping you. Her eyes look deeply into yours, but her thumb rolls your engagement ring on your finger.

“Like how to understand when I can’t make any more moves. And when I can change the wording in a deal to make it favor me.

Your lips part, you think to say something, but Aslaug stops you with a smile.

“Let’s hope you’ve learned the same lessons, my dear.”

____

Ubbe is dancing with Asa standing on his feet, and you watch with a smile on your face as the family enjoys time together, and celebrates the holidays in their own way.

A part of you misses the Christmas lights, the decorations you’d help your parents put up when you were a kid. A part of you misses how simple life was back then, how in this time of year you could forget there was a world past the snow drifting down and the warmth of a hearth and a home.

Ivar comes right up to you, but doesn’t sit next to you, choosing to remain standing.

“Grab your coat,” He orders, and at your confused frown, he rolls his eyes and amends, “Please.”

The most insincere please in the history of pleases, but you know you get more than most, so you don’t comment on it.

Still, you have to ask, “Why?”

“I-…a surprise,” He says, and insists you move with a gesture of his head, “Come on.”

You follow him to the small house the Lothbroks have by the pool, a cozy little home of big windows. When Ivar motions for you to go in ahead of him, a part of you is suspicious, but you still skip your way inside and try not to ask questions as to how it is so warm here when it should be vacant.

Ivar turns the lights on, and you find in the middle of the living room a Christmas tree.

The tree is bare, but still lively and familiar.

You turn to Ivar with tears in your eyes, because you cannot help it.

“You did this for me?”

“You love your Christmas,” He mumbles, embarrassed at the reaction his -to some, uncharacteristic- thoughtfulness got out of you. “I figured you deserved to have some of it with you here.”

“Did you buy Christmas lights?” You ask softly, almost moving up and down in the balls of your feet in excitement, eyeing the bags on a chair nearby.

Ivar chuckles, endeared, and nods, “Go ahead, Princess.”

You skip your way to the bags, quickly looking over the goods and already planning on how to decorate it, how to make it look pretty, how to make it yours.

You don’t truly know how long you spend on it, gleefully putting up Christmas lights, and little ornaments. During the whole time you spent excitedly decorating the tree, you can feel Ivar’s eyes on you, and when you look back at him you find him staring with a strange softness in his gaze.

You choose not to think too much on it, and instead ask his opinion on the decorations, that he gives gruffly and with a very poor attempt at making you believe that -either because Christmas grew on him, which you find very unlikely, or because of your own happiness- he isn’t happy to be here.

____

You smile at the warm and twinkling lights, and burrow closer to Ivar’s warmth, refusing to take your eyes off the dancing lights and refusing to put your feet back on the ground.

Refusing to step out of the fantasy that this could be your life.

Ivar shifts his position, and you lift your head from the juncture between his neck and shoulder and meet his eyes in question.

His eyes give away so much, always have, at least to you. And now they reflect the warm sparkle of the Christmas lights, and they reflect hesitation, fear, uncertainty, love.

Before you can ask what is wrong, Ivar leans in, his hand previously around you tangling in your hair as his lips claim yours.

His kiss is always demanding, but this time it holds desperation in the way Ivar begs for your lips to part with his own, it holds an urgency in the way his tongue dances with yours, it holds a ragged edge in the shaky breath that he lets out through his nose, it holds a goodbye in the way he ends the kiss as if forcing himself to pull away from you.

You try getting your breath under control and your voice to be yours again, but he’s so close, and warm, and yours; and all you want to do is kiss him again.

Kiss him again, and make the furrow in his brow, the pain in his eyes, go away. Kiss him again, and pretend you are not living on borrowed time.

So you do.

You kiss him, and take control of the kiss, and make him groan lightly against your mouth when you tug on his hair, and whimper his name against his own when you straddle him and feel him getting hard underneath you.

When your need for breath makes you part from his kiss, Ivar wastes no time trailing fervent kisses down your neck, panting breaths against the hot skin that he kisses and licks and bites.

You moan his name, forgetting everything but the touch of his lips on your skin, forgetting everything but the scent and taste and feel of him.

Either at the sound of your voice or the grind of your hips against his hardening cock, Ivar’s breath stutters and he breathes your name back at you, voice low.

His brow rests against your collarbone as he takes deep breaths, and your fingers toy at the hair that flows down to his shoulders.

“You know…” He murmurs, pressing a kiss that makes you shiver right on the dip between your collarbones, “There’s nothing I want more right now than marking this pretty neck of yours. Leaving you with…” His teeth scrape against your skin, a tease both for you and himself. Ivar does it a few more times, and moves up your neck again. Your breath shudders past your lips, and you tug on his hair to remind him of what he was saying. You always did love hearing him speak. For all the months you spend apart, his voice telling you what he’d do to you, what he’d have you do to him, is all that keeps you warm. Ivar chuckles, but continues, “Leaving you with my mark all over you, where everyone can see, so…so that they don’t doubt you’re mine.

His hands tighten on your waist, before they travel down, caressing your thighs as he sighs.

“But you’re not, are you? And I can’t…I can’t do any of that. I can’t-…”

You interrupt him before his thoughts can get ahead of him, before he can twist himself into knots about the situation you are both in.

“I am yours. Only yours.” You remind him softly, your lips by his ear. You lean back so you can meet his eyes, and seal your promise with a soft kiss over his lips.

Ivar’s eyes search yours when you pull back, with the same look as before. Uncertain, lost, tender and yet almost sad.

“Marry me.” He whispers, keeping his eyes on yours.

“What?” You squeak, eyes wide. He couldn’t have…he knows that…none of this makes any sense.

“Marry me instead of Sigurd,” He insists, and as if remembering the part he forgot, he curses and hurries to fetch something from his pocket. He offers you a simple but beautiful ring, and swallows, “I-I can make you happier than he ever could, I…I love you.

I know you can, you already do.

I love you too.

But you can’t say any of that, because your breaths are shallow and your head is filled with thoughts and…and you need space.

You scramble to stand, to put distance between the two of you. After a few controlled breaths, you return your eyes to Ivar, whose hand has now fallen back to his lap even if he still holds on to the delicate ring.

He grits his teeth, the obvious tell at the side of his jaw, and he seems to want to divert his eyes from you, but he only blinks and keeps certain eyes on you.

“Your father wants you to marry one of Ragnar’s sons, he doesn’t care who. I…have talked with my father, he agrees that if you want to, we can…” He licks his lips in a nervous gesture, “Mother says any backlash from breaking the engagement can be handled.”

“You’ve thought this through.”

“Of course I have, y-you’d be Sigurd’s wife if I didn’t think of something,” A twitch of anger, of uncertainty, of fear, on his face, and then he amends, “You still can be. But I want you to be able to choose.”

Choose me, is what he doesn’t say.

Your heart is lodged in your throat, and you try a few times before you can finally speak,

“Ivar, we haven’t…it’s been only a few months.”

“And it will not work out, that’s what you’re saying?” He huffs, defensive, “It won’t work out if you marry my brother either.”

“I-…this-…”

“Stop thinking of excuses,” He snaps, gritted teeth and hurt written in his eyes, “I’ll handle everything, no matter your answer. Just…just give me an answer, Princess.”

____

It is open ended cause there’s two ends to this, I wanted to leave the choice to you guys! So, follow the link for the epilogue of your choice:

Will you accept the proposal and be bound to Ivar, for better or worse?

Or will you stay with Sigurd, and be content with companionship and friendship?

Hope you liked this, even if it wasn’t very holiday-ey. I wish you all very happy holidays and a great (or decent, after 2020 I’m happy with decent) 2021!!

(Ik it’s like the 13th and I’m gonna be very much around here posting and bothering the whole lot of ya till the holidays and beyond, but holiday fic and all that, ‘twas the perfect time to send good wishes and all. Love ya!)

[the-irish-mayhem]

I don’t know if there are AU fics there about Thor meeting Jane in Asgard instead of his mom in Endgame but... could you write if there are none? Love your writing style btw

I started this in quarantine last April, and here I am a year later finishing it. ANGST AHOY. (and thank youuuuuuuu!)

She’s more beautiful than he remembered. He sees her from behind at first, her small frame swathed in a simple, blue wrap gown. She’s folding her clothes from Midgard, hands deft. She misses Rocket darting behind the small lounge, syringe in hand. 

Thor steps fully into the room, and she must hear him. She calls out, “No, I don’t need any help with my clothing, but thank you for the offer.”

He can’t immediately speak. He means to say something, he... he must’ve had a plan before Rocket shoved him through this doorway? Surely, he’d thought of something clever and suave and charming, something that he would’ve said to her when they’d been together and he could make her laugh. Something he would’ve said before--

Before.

Then she turns and--Norns, she is beautiful.

“Oh, Thor,” she says, and then she smiles. “Hi. Sorry, I didn’t realize it was you.”

His tongue feels thick in his mouth. “Y-you-you, uh--” He swallows and tries again. “You don’t have to apologize. For anything. Ever.”

Her brow furrows. “Hey, are you okay?” She’d always known him so well, hadn’t she? And he’d just--allowed her to slip away. Over two years of living together, years of loving and being loved, and he’d just--

“Thor, what’s wrong?” The sheer concern in her voice as she sets her folded clothing down makes his knees feel weak. Then she’s walking towards him and he doesn’t feel prepared for this moment at all.

Norns, he’d made such a mess of everything, and then he’d never gotten a chance to fix it.

She seems to realize at that moment that he’s not the Thor she knows, and she freezes halfway to him. There’s a small, needy part of him that wants to reach out to her, just feel her touch one more time to remind him of a time before his failure so catastrophically rocked the universe.

The other part, that knows he is on a mission and needs to do this in order to succeed, tries to come up with an excuse or a plan. He had one before he walked in, certainly.

“You--” Jane draws back, adopting a tentative, novice defensive stance, “--are not Thor.”

That’s an easy enough answer. “Well, yes, yes I am.”

Her eyes narrow. “Mm, no. Last I saw him, Thor’s beard was shorter. His hair wasn’t, uh--” She glances at the top of his head, “--that. One of your eyes is brown.” She looks down at him. “If you’re Thor, then where’s your armor?”

“Um. Not. On?”

“Yeah, consider me unconvinced. If you’re Thor,” a clever smile dawns on her face, like she’s just solved a long series of complex equations, “then call Mjolnir.”

“Oh.” He’d somehow forgotten that at this time, he still had Mjolnir. He still had his honor, his courage, his--

He’d been worthy, at this time.

“Jane, that’s--I just--” Thor sees Rocket moving behind her, his arm cocked back and ready to take the infinity stone that flows through her veins. “Rocket, wait!”

Jane’s eyes widen, and she whirls around and screams, “What the fuck is that?”

“Thor, come on!” Rocket exclaims.

“Jane,” he says again, “Please just trust me. We need your help.”

She backs away slowly, trying to keep both Thor and Rocket, with his arm still poised to stab, in her sights.

“That’s a talking raccoon,” she breathes. “I’m talking to a raccoon on an alien planet.”

Rocket protests, but Thor cuts him off. “Jane, please.”

“We need to borrow the Aether for like two seconds,” Rocket says. “The fate of the universe kind of depends on it.”

“Someone better explain to me what the hell is going on and fast,” she says, voice raising to nearly a shout, “or you will not like what happens!”

Thor notices the molecular red and black swirling at her fingertips and in her eyes. If she stays this stressed, she’s liable to explode on them. That might knock her unconscious, and while that might make their task in stealing the Aether from her easier, but he can’t stomach the thought of doing that to her.

“Jane, listen to me,” he says, voice soft, falling back into a familiar pattern of calming her down when she’s upset. “I am Thor, but... not the one you know.” He desperately wants to reach out to her, as was his way when they were together, but he holds himself back. “I promise I am not deceiving you. I know that you cannot carry a tune when you sing in the shower, but you do it anyway. You graduated summa cum laude from Culver and got your first doctorate before you were twenty-two, and you always wondered if you should’ve slowed down to enjoy university life more. You always chew the end of your pen or pencil when you’re working. We had dinner with your mother every other weekend--” He winces a little at that mention. "That--um. I guess that hasn’t... happened yet.”

He sees wheels turning behind her eyes, and there’s something easy here between them, a familiar thread of trust that feels all too good for Thor to pick up again. Her brow furrows slightly as her incredible mind works, and her bottom lip ends up between her teeth.

“You’re saying this is time travel,” she says, matter-of-fact. Like she’s positing a hypothesis with Tony or Darcy in the lab.

He’s missed this. He’s missed her. Norns, has he missed her.

“Oh my god,” Jane breathes, “Time travel.” A massive grin spreads across her face. “It’s possible; I knew it!” Her eyes are alight and Thor is struck with another stab of longing. She’s standing right in front of her and yet he misses her so fiercely. “Tell me everything. How did I do it? I’ve only got some rough schematics drawn up of a wormhole generator, but I bet that’s how it was done. Ha!” She pumps a fist in a small victory motion.

“We’re wasting time, here, loverboy,” Rocket interrupts, his small claws wrapped a little too eagerly around the syringe meant to transport the stone.

“Rocket, shut up,” Thor growls.

She steps closer to him, her eagerness for knowledge shining from her face like a light. “How’d we compensate for the energy? Ooh, and how are you planning on returning to your timeline? Do you have some sort of recall device? How is that powered? Or is it like a yo-yo type of device which sends you for a certain amount of time and then calls you back automatically? That would make sense for why your raccoon friend is in such a hurry.” Her eyes widen a little. “That seems like something I’d do. It would probably be beyond the scope of our capabilities to make a power cell small enough to carry on your person, depending on when you guys came from--”

It comes out of him like pus from lancing an infected wound: “You didn’t do it.”

It breaks his heart a little bit to see her imagination come to a grinding halt, to see the shock and disappointment flood across her features. “I... I didn’t?”

Tears prickle at the back of his eyes. “No. You... no.”

“Oh,” she breathes. He can see her visibly shrink, shoulders caving in and her previous exuberance extinguishing like a snuffed candle.

His chest hurts. He wants to hold her.

“I’m sorry.” His voice cracks.

“Oh,” she says again, a different note to it this time. “Am I, um... you know. Dead?”

It feels like a punch to the stomach to hear her say it. He can’t voice it out loud. He’d seen her name on the list of known Avengers asset casualties. Her name was chiseled into stone on the Lost Monument in London. He’d only visited in a fit of drunken self-flagellation one time, and once had been more than enough.

Apparently he doesn’t need to say it. Even without years together under her belt, he’s never been particularly subtle nor she particularly obtuse.

“I see,” is all she says, her arms crossing over her chest, one hand coming up to her chin. Her thumb taps her lower lip once. Twice. “How did I die? Old age?” She winces a little. “Something sooner than that?”

Thor’s tongue sits thick in his mouth.

“A bad guy snapped his fingers and killed half the universe,” Rocket says, impatient with Thor’s inability to communicate. “You were part of the unlucky half.”

Jane’s eyes widen. “Snapped... his fingers.”

“Yes,” Rocket grits, “and if we don’t borrow the Aether we won’t be able to bring any of those people back, so if you don’t mind--”

She’s already offering her arm before he finishes his sentence. “Take it. It’s killing me anyway, although--” Jane lets out a harsh chuckle, “--if you’re from a future where I’m killed by a finger-snapping psycho-killer, then I guess I won’t die from this, at least.”

Rocket smiles at Jane and then sends a seething look Thor’s way. “See, Thor, how efficient a little cooperation can make things?”

For how much they struggled with fixing Jane’s Aether affliction in this timeline, it’s almost trivially easy for Rocket to jab the needle into Jane and take the stone. The syringe is specially crafted to draw in and store this particularly finicky stone, but it goes off without a hitch, and when Rocket withdraws the needle, Jane simply covers her now bleeding arm with a hand.

Rocket thanks her, the caustic raccoon strangely polite now that he’s realized what kind of person Jane is, and turns to Thor.

“Time to jet, big boy,” he says.

“Wait,” Thor says, impulse overriding any other judgements, “give me a moment.”

Rocket sighs, and glancing between Jane and Thor, he seems to understand. Given the chance, Thor knows Rocket would want to talk to his family that he lost. Thankfully, it looks like he will afford Thor the same courtesy.

“A moment,” Rocket echoes, a not-so-subtle reminder that they cannot stay here in the safety of the past when they have a job to do. A universe to save. People to bring back.

Rocket exits the room, leaving Thor and Jane alone.

“Do you, um.” Jane’s hands scrunch up the skirt of her dress before she gestures at the couch. “Want to sit?”

As he sits down, Jane follows next to him, so close and warm, he realizes belatedly that he has been dying to talk to someone who loves him. Desperate to talk to someone who knows him on a deeper level than his friends on Earth and New Asgard. (At this time, they’re all alive. His mother, here and hale. Volstagg, Fandral, Hogun, Sif, likely somewhere nearby and plotting with him on how they’re going to solve the latest challenge. And Jane.)

She asks him a simple, “How long has it been?” and it all spills out of him, a dam overdue to be broken after five years of holding his pain and guilt at bay. He tells her of Ragnarok, the broad strokes of it anyway, losing his friends and his home and Mjolnir, that they’d broken up, Thanos, the stones, the battle they’d lost, the five years of wounded peace, and the chance they now have to fix it.

“It doesn’t feel like enough,” he whispers. “All that suffering and pain because I failed. We found him, and I killed him... but what was the point? We were too late, and I was just an idiot with an axe.”

“I might not know you as well as your Jane does,” she says slowly, “but I know enough to know that you’re no idiot.” She leans into him, looping her elbow around his and reaching for his hand. Their fingers twine, something familiar to Thor but new for her. “Everyone fails at something. That doesn’t make you a failure, it just makes you like everyone else.”

“But I’m supposed to be better.”

She shrugs. “Then prove it. When I first met you, and you failed to get Mjolnir back from the crater site, you didn’t shut down or stop trying. You just...” She sighs. “I don’t really know, but you just decided that you were still going to be better, even if you didn’t have your hammer. You taught me about the realms, you went to Izzy and apologized for smashing her mug,” she chuckles a little at that, “and it probably wasn’t what you wanted, but what I saw then wasn’t a failure. I didn’t fully get it then, but you had literally lost everything--your home, your way of life, your family, Mjolnir and your powers--but you still smiled at us, still kept moving forward when everything was trying to crush you. That’s a hero, if you ask me.”

He swallows, his emotion for this woman threatening to overwhelm him for a few heartbeats. “Thank you,” he whispers, leaning his forehead against hers. She leans back, relaxed and easy.

“You should try to call Mjolnir,” she suggests, so casual and offhand that it nearly knocks him off the couch.

He could, he realizes. Mjolnir is not gone in this timeline, and if they will return the Aether to it’s proper place, Mjolnir can make the trip back just as easily.

He’s spent the last five years proving himself to be a worthless lump of a man, being the exact opposite of what Jane thought him to be, but it isn’t too late for him. It had never felt right, being in the skin of a depressed, lazy drunk who sometimes couldn’t summon the energy to leave his bed or talk to his friends. It hadn’t been him. In fact, he’s felt more like himself since he’d come back to the Avengers for this wild, last-ditch effort to fix what Thanos did than he’s felt in a long time.

The last five years have changed him, certainly, but if Jane can still see the man who’d unflinchingly faced down death as a human man in New Mexico, then he can try to see him to.

Thor stands and reaches out, calling for a presence that had been his constant companion since he was a boy.

He calls, and Mjolnir answers.

Thor smiles.