#bruh any woke people out there

[suiana]

(yandere! loser harem x gn! reader)

LOSER #1: 𝖉𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌🥀⛓️

LOSER #2: baby are you awake? :)

LOSER #3: wake up

LOSER #3: Wake up

LOSER #3: WAKEUPNOW

read at 06:09

you stare at your phone, blinking tiredly before you chuck your phone at a nearby wall. afterwards, you hid your face in your hands, screaming loudly as your phone pings repeatedly.

you weren't doing this today. you just wanted some peace and quiet for once, away from this loser harem you managed to gather out of nowhere.

this harem of yours never left you alone, never gave you any space. it was almost like... they didn't know the meaning of personal space or privacy. they were always bothering you, popping up from your closets and stuff... you could swear you were going insane.

LOSER #1: my dear don't 𝖎𝖌𝖓𝖔𝖗𝖊 us...🥀⛓️

LOSER #3: freakster it's time to wake up you literally read our messages

YOU: yall shut up for a second pls omg

YOU: i literally just woke up

LOSER #2: i knew it

LOSER #2: people never like nice guys

YOU: what if i just kill myself.

you stare at your phone, squatting down on the ground as you text your harem of losers. your eyes were half open, your body still half asleep as you blink at theflurry of messages you were receiving.

you know, you actually didn't mind them or the attention they were giving you. it's just that, they were so annoying that it made you want to tear your hair out and go bald.

LOSER #1: my love 𝖉𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖉𝖆𝖗𝖊 🥀⛓️

LOSER #1: you wouldn't hurt us like that... 𝖜𝖔𝖚𝖑𝖉 𝖞𝖔𝖚? 🥀⛓️

YOU: 🤓☝️

LOSER #3: you really want to do this right now? you want to see me mad huh?

LOSER #2: i knew our saviour just wanted to hurt us... :( they never appreciated nice guys like us </3

YOU: quit yapping bruh

YOU: no wonder all of you have NO rizz

you facepalm at their messages, standing up before you throw your phone at your bed and get ready for the day. surely the rest of your day will be great, right? it's not like these losers would randomly appear in your bathroom when you wanted to go in and freshen up haha...

meanwhile, your loser harem was waiting for you in your kitchen, wearing maid costumes as they get ready to be bashed in the head by you for breaking in. how fun!

[issdisgrace]

I hope you really meant it when you said it's okay for me to request more.

These are just some ideas, you don't have to write any of them. God they're so lame, bruh your league is too good.

For now I'm gonna take advantage of your random slasher sfw/nsfw hcs hehe.

1) Michael Myers (michael freqently jerks off in public + michael has a thing for teeth):

- What about Michael x male reader where reader tries to find Michael outside bc reader is horny and Michael was gone for too long, He finds him, notices his heavy breathing and a boner. - Reader takes his knife away and makes him kneel to suck him off, he takes his mask off and holding it in his hand while he puts Michael's knife into his mouth to hold it (he doesn't want to alarm Michael by holding the knife in his hand not to pose as a threat).

- Reader then notices Michael started moaning (Michael started jerking off), realizing it has something to do with him holding his knife in his teeth looking like an aggressive wolf.

- He then starts to play with the knife, biting it, licking it, showing his teeth and licking them as well.

- Reader starts to get close so he throws Michael's knife away, takes his hand and bites his fingers, causing a domino effect. Michael comes, continues to suck reader off more aggressively making reader come into his mouth.

- When Michael swallows he looks at reader and he's grinning like a devil, which makes Michael weak.

2) Vicent Sinclair (has fisted himself before):

- Basically Vincent wants reader to fist fuck him while licking, bitting and kissing his butt cheeks. He lets him do that as a sign of trust so they move frurther into the relationship.

3) Patrick Bateman (patrick likes to roleplay as a doting house wife):

- Reader comes home from work to find Patrick in an arpon, cozy and cute clothing, being all sweet and gentle.

- They are all lovely dovely, and as a doting housewife he tells reader that he needs to take care of himself so he makes him eat delicious dinner, have a bathand then Patrick and reader fuck, but it's more like patrick riding reader and just doing all the work to help reader relax.

4) Bo Sinclair (bo likes wearing panties):

- Reader and Bo having make out session (reader laying on the bed and Bo sitting on him), Bo then gets off of him to take his cloths off and reader notices his panties and teases him about it and basically they fuck while Bo still has the panties on (just put aside) and when they're done Bo teases reader for liking him in panties.

I'm gonna shower you in love if you write even just one of these. Or even when not. I love you man.

ALLEYWAY BLOWJOB

WARNINGS: Blowjob/face fucking, semi public, Michael got a thing for teeth, knifeplay??

A/N: @charliedakotariley I hope you enjoy this. I've written the other 3 requests, so be on the lookout for those in the near future.

God, why can’t Michael be around when I need him? He’s probably avoiding me because I found out about his thing for teeth. To be fair, it’s not my fault I woke up with his fingers running across my teeth and his dick in his hand. Anyway, right now I just need to let off a little steam after dealing with morons all day.

Sighing, I go to the back door, open it and step outside, closing it behind me.

“Michael, you around. I need your help with a little something.” 

I called out. I then hear something rattle then a cat hiss. Call for the devil and he shall appear I think as I step off my back porch. I cross the backyard to the gate leading into the alley. Unlocking it, I open it, stepping into the alley. There in the shadows a few feet in front of the gate is Michael knife in hand. Must’ve just gotten back from slaughtering some people. I take slow steps towards him until I’m directly in front of him, towering over him. I force him to walk backwards until his back hits the neighboring fence. Blocking him against the fence, I lean down and whisper into his ear.

“I need to let off some steam, so how about you put that mouth to good use?”

 Michael grunts. I’ll just take that as a yes. Reaching up, I grab the mask and pull it off of his head, his brown locks falling into place. Chucking the mask on top of the nearby trash can. I then take the knife from his hand. Quickly swapping our position, I lean against the fence with my free hand. I push Michael down by his shoulder. He gets the memo and kneels before me. Now face to face with my hard on he looks from it back up to me. 

“Suck.”

He nods and reaches up. His hands making quick work of my belt. He then unzips my pants and tugs them down with my boxers. My cock springs out and hits him in the face. I let out a laugh and Michael looks up at me with a glare.

“Don’t look at me like that. Get to sucking or you won’t be getting anything from me anytime soon.”

Michael looks back down at my cock for a moment before wrapping his lips around the head of it. Reaching up, I scratch my face as I sigh in content as he starts to work my cock. His mouth felt so good on my cock.

Looking down at him, I realize I’m still holding his knife. Lifting the knife up I notice how shiny it is. I can see my reflection in it. That sparks an idea. Smiling, I check out my teeth in the reflection of the knife for a minute. Hey if Micheal likes my teeth might as well indulge him. I laugh to myself as I continue to check out my teeth for a couple more minutes. I suddenly feel Michael groan around my cock. Looking down, I notice him jerking himself off.

Laughing, I fix my grip on the knife before stabbing into the fence beside me. Letting go of the knife, I reach down and grab the sides of his head. Forcing eye contact with him. I then shove him all the way down onto my cock. I feel him gag around me, which draws a moan out of me. I start brutally fucking myself in and it of his mouth. 

God his mouth felt so good around me. If I could fuck his mouth all day, I would. As I fuck into his mouth, I feel him groan more and more around my cock. Each vibration bringing me slowly towards the edge. I hum to myself, the groans getting louder and more frequent. He must be closing in on his orgasm. But I’m not gonna let him finish before me. Tightening my grip on his head, I animalistically fuck his mouth. It doesn’t take long for the knot in my stomach to tighten even more. Then he lets out one last long loud groan, causing me to go over the edge, cumming down his throat. Coming down from my high, I lean my head against the fence. God that felt amazing. As I bask in my bliss, I feel Michael pull himself off my cock slowly with a pop. Looking down at him, I notice him wiping his hand on the pants of his jumpsuit before he puts himself away. He looks up at me the look in his eye that tells me he wants more. 

“If you tuck me back in and we’ll continue this inside.”

Michael nods as he reaches down and grabs pants from where they pool at my knees and pulls my boxers and pants back up. He then zips my pants back up before buckling my belt. I pat his head and give him a little praise before helping him up. His knees cracking in the process. Hmmm, I’ll have to see if I can get him those knee compression sleeves.

[liaarxse]

hiii I love your work and you're probably busy with a lot of requests but,, I was wondering if you could mayyybe do a super tough, neutral, intimidating but chill s/o with the sweetest hidden heart they're protectin so people don't think they're weak or worry about their emotions? 😭 with mitsuya, kazutora, and sanzu? Even if you can't I wanna say thank you cause you work super hard for super great work :D hope you're well! <3

I was almost brought to tears. Thank you so much 😭💕

Don't worry, apart from the continuation request for my last work and yours, I don't have any LMAO

I've never written for Sanzu but I'll do my best !! <3

Heart of gold

Characters: Mitsuya Takashi, Kazutora Hanemiya, Sanzu Haruchiyo

Warnings: None

A/n: What if dare dared every single one of y'all to send a request? Would you? 😨

— Mitsuya Takashi

Husbando here

So, Mitsuya worries about you

Doesn't matter if you're a pro at hiding those damn feeling behind some sort of invisible shield

Mitsuya has x-ray vision when it comes to you

You CAN'T fool this man

Well, you fooled him in the beginning, but still

He knows how you feel and why you're doing it, but please

Don't act like that when you're alone with him

Let the man love you y/n

The first time he met you, he swore somebody shoved a stick up your ass

You were either not showing any emotions or were frowning

Like, even when Nahoya cracked some half-ass joke, all you did was just "puff"

???

Bruh

But Mitsuya was INTRIGUED

We know the man doesn't judge, so instead of making fun of you (like that giggly bastard would), he opted to trying to befriend you

Which worked a bit TOO well

The first time he saw you break out of your shell was when you met Mana and Luna

Like, the moment Mitsuya left the room and only Mana and Luna were with you, you just started beaming

But how can you not? They're the cutest kids ever

And come on, they're kids. They can't harm you or anything, so there was no reason for you to hide it

And they LOVED your smile

Later, when you went home, the girls didn't stop talking to Mitsuya about it

And he was shocked

Nah

Flabbergasted

Who's the one with the stick up their ass now?

The following day, he called you over to talk about that

You were kinda disappointed when you found out the girls said that because what if Mitsuya finds you, like, weak or something like that?

Yeah, no

He loves you, and he made sure to let you know you could express your real emotions when with him

And that's when he saw you smile for the first time

And he swore to cherish it for the rest of his life

— Kazutora Hanemiya

You knew banana since y'all were kids

Like, you knew Mikey and Baji as well, but after some time, you just split apart

Nobody knows why

You just woke up one day and you never saw him again

Until now, when you're dating LMAO

You were always this, intimidating kid

You had the worst glare back in the day, which led to you always playing with the toys you wanted from the other kids

Now it scares away creeps and assholes

Which Kazutora LOVES

But sometimes he gets scared too

He's tried so many times to get you to smile

Poking your cheeks, making funny faces and sounds, doing stupid shit, watching funny videos with you but nay

You didn't smile

Sometimes, you gave him glares, which resulted in him almost shiting his pants

But he loves you nonetheless

The first time he saw you break out of your shell was when you were going back to his place, late at night while it was raining.

Thankfully, you had an umbrella that you shared so you didn't get soaked

And it was pretty romantic ngl

He gave you sweet looks, smiles, winks

And you didn't even notice them

Ass

What you did notice was a small kitty on the side of the road, drenched

And you had too weak of a spot for baby animals so you stopped in front of it and gently took it in your arms

You held it right next to your chest, keeping it warm

And you were even slightly smiling

You didn't even notice when Kazutora snapped a picture of you

You looked up at him with your usual harsh look, but it melted away, just for tonight

You both gave the kitty a quick bath and food back at his apartment, pretty much adopting it

And unbeknownst to you, his shared petshop it the future holds your name with the picture he took that night, framed on the wall

— Sanzu Haruchiyo

I'm a Barbie girl in a not so Barbie wooooorld

Life with drugs, it's fantastic

You can't brush my hair, but let me kill you any or everywhere because I forgoooot

You like my version of Sanzu girl?

I know you do

Anyway how did you meet?

Bitch I have NO IDEA

You were friends with Senju (love her sm)

You've only seen him a couple of times, didn't even talk, so how did it happen???

Y'all just randomly started dating

I mean, Mucho probably knows

Oh wait he's dead

ANYWAY

You're dating, and you're both happy

But nobody knows that

They know you're dating, but not that you're happy

He wears a mask, and you're constantly bitching around so they think it's just forced love or something

He's a master manipulator after all

Obviously not the case

But how did they find out?

You were out with Sanzu and some other Toman members when, all of a sudden, some guys from a rival gang approached them

It was obvious they wanted a fight, but you, unbeknownst to anyone except Sanzu, knew how to fight

So, in the blink of an eye, you both just wrecked their shit

And were LAUGHING

Maniacs

The other Toman delinquents didn't even try to take part, they just sat there and stared

Some were fighting back, others tried to run away, but not no avail

Mercy isn't a word in your dictionary

And neither was losing

So, you both finished them pretty quickly, of course

After all that, he removed his masked and kissed your cheek while you were both still grinning from the adrenaline

Cutie pies

Which just got exposed to everyone since a gang member took a picture of you and sent it to half the gang

Ah shit

Y'all didn't even mean to expose yourselves like that

But they didn't have the right to do you like that

So

You did what any other person would do

You kicked them in the nuts

But who cares?

In the end, all it matters is that you love each other

How cute <3

Maybe run from the police now <3

[randomthefox]

So ABT is now pretty much denying that there was any change to Lanolin's character, even pointing out that when she was thanking Sonic that one time her smile was fake.

And sure, he's her creator, if he's fine with the changes, that's also fine, but it still feels like the man is on his second or third five stages of grief speedrun now.

I wanted to not directly respond to him but I am weak and I just woke up lol

Still hilarious to me that people would try and tell me that ABT was one of the best artists working on the comic. And now ABT spends his days having meltdowns because someone accused him of tracing, and insisting that a character he drew with a =D face isn't actually smiling.

"look at the corners of her mouth" yeah they look just like how every other characters mouth looks when they're smiling. Tf u talking about?

"Who you gonna believe? Me or your lying eyes?"

You drew her smiling, bro.

I also love this

Uh huh. Right. Totally the same character.

No differences here. You're not gonna even try and say "she had off screen character development"? No, this is the same person acting the same way with no changes whatsoever. Because I said so.

Bruh.

Bro

Breh

Broseph

Brotholomew

[amazingdudesblog]

Summer games fest was saved by sparking zero. I wish they showed at least any of these: little nightmares, gta 6, maybe something for spider-man 2, the wolf among us like come on I am starving bruh.

Also how are you gonna show something for inside out 2 but not go all out with a sonic 3 trailer like bruh either keep this a GAME event or go all out and show something people would have been hyped as hell for even if it’s not necessarily a game.

Fuck all the gamers complaining about WOKENESS tho. Like get a job bruh

[jalluzas-ferney]

I will never uundertanad how people care about like..inclusive language. Like in the way that they act bothered by it. Like mf why does it bother you? How does it affect you? It always feels like people simply feel attacked by the simple inclusion of other people into a conversation or anywhere really. And that applies to many other things. Like when people start calling a video game woke or whatever cuz you can choose to have a same sex relationship or there’s a person of color. Hell even a little lgbtw flag or whatever. It’s like when people say all lives matter when somone brings the BLM subject in. It’s like…mf this isn’t an u. Stop taking everything personal.

And going back to the language thing. Like as a cis girl. It does not affect in a single way if someone uses any kind of gender inclusive language? Like if someone says “person w a vagina” like sure? Idc. Like I reaaallllyyy don’t care. Don’t careee. I’m a person. I have a vagina. Yeah they’re referring to me. I still feel like a woman. I feel sure in my gender. I feel strong in my identity. Like damn cis people have to learn to be sure of their identity. Be more confident in your gender bruh.

Like duh people who get offended by inclusive language are really just simply bigots but I feel like it’s still happens with people who claim to support certain groups- but then act annoyed if someone talks an inclusion as if it’s a personal attack on them or people do it for the sake of annoying ppl. I remember I was in this shitty theatre class where instead of theatre kids there were a bunch of popular kids who joined to not do anything- and the teacher walks in- he was very weird btw- like in the way he thinks he’s super wise and he makes you think he’s wise but then a year later you like damn what a fraud - anyways;

He walks in and he’s like - “oh, now we are not allowed to say ladies and gentlemen because it’s not inclusive “ or smth like that, and the rest of the kids are like “uuughh🙄🙄🙄😒😒” and I just stood there like- girl? 💀

I know damn well you pulled that out of your ass cuz no one is forcing you to not say ladies and gentlemen. Ik damn well the school doesn’t give a fuck and neither of the parents. He probably saw it on the internet and took as “oh now I’m FORCED to say NOT ladies and gentlemen 🙄 wow the audacity of these annoying humans” like bro no one is putting you at gun point.

And even if someone said, “yeah you should change the intro and say smth else other than ladies and gentlemen” is it really that deep? Like to complain? It’s an intro. I really dgaf. Again. As a cis girl. I’m already included so it doesn’t nessecarilly affect me. But neither does anything else. Mf just say welcome students teacher and parents or whatever? Bruh I dunno it really isn’t that deep to groan ab- it simply respect 🤨

It’s like those Disney adults complaining ab doesn’t saying “welcome dreamers “ ….like yeah it’s pretty on theme. And again. How does it affect you. Your a dreamer, aren’t you? Unless your not lmao which if that’s the case that’s pretty miserable ngl.

Anyyywaayssss

Sorry for the rant but like I just keep seeing it everywhere and I just needed to blow some steam off. It’s so stupid. It really is .

[sparkyz-plug-writes]

Stay with us!! Yandere Luz + Amity x male reader! + Some of my TOH ocs (Also I don't condone yandere behavior this is just fiction!!)

!Requested!

Characters:

Luz Noceda: She/Her (more of a obsessive yandere)

Amity Blight: She/her (possessive and aggressive yandere-)

Y/N: He/Him (Bruh he doesn't want to be here-)

Kamora Firethorn: He/Him (Friend 1, has a pet Griffin named butterscotch)

Denndy Yumo: They/Them (idk-)

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

It was a beautiful day in the boiling isle, you got out of bed and did your normal daily routine, but during it, you couldn't help your two best friends Luz and Amity, they were acting really strange since a week ago when your classmate confessed to you, and when you made a Grudgby team with your other friends, Kamora and Denndy, you said you'd think about it but it scared you! But you got your mind of it and went to school, but before you could open up the door your best friends showed up

"Hey Y/N how are you? Are you okay do you feel well?!"

"Amity give him some space!"

"Oh right sorry... But Y/N why are you in your school uniform?"

You question them and they said their was a incident at the school again so school is off! You secretly questioned it because you didn't get any information that the school was out but since you didn't have to get thrown in the detention pit again you're completely okay with that!

"But hey can we come in? We have a surprise your you!~"

You agreed, when they stepped inside they gave you a small fairy pie,

"we mad sure to get it perfectly!"

"yep, and the ingredients are very fresh."

you took a bite but it tasted weird... Sleeping nettles..? Was this a prank, but before you could do anything you fell and we're losing consciousness

"Awww!! The plan worked!!~ Their asleep!"

"and there so cute when he sleeps! But goodnight Y/N...~"

And with that you fell asleep, but when you woke up, you were in a nice comfy room, but you were tied to a chair you were panicking, you started screaming for help but only two people came, Luz and Amity...

"Hermosa what is it? Are you hungry?"

"N-No I'm not, where am I? Did you bring me here?! LET ME GO!!" you tired to get out of the ropes but they were strong (amity got edric to fortify the rope)

"but... You're safe here! You'll never have to worry again!"

They hugged you, Amity even gave you a kiss on the cheek but you didn't want this... You wanted to play Grudgby with your friends! Like Kamora and Denndy ! You wanted to go home!! You stay there for days, maybe a week, only Amity and Luz could see you, but when you heard something but down the door you didn't expected to be your friends! it was your friends!! It was Kamora! And Denndy-

"Dude your here?! You've been missing for 2 weeks!"

"Yeah, and I had to cover your work!!"

You explained the Amity and Luz situation and how they basically kidnapped you, she used magic to cut the rope

"Well I'm here dude, now let's get out of here!! I only managed to get in here bc of butterscotch, but let's get you out of here!!"

"Yeah you know that big fat Griffin Kamora takes care of?"

"He's not fat >:0"

"Is!"

"is not!"

"is too!!"

Kamora took your hand and started to make their was out of the house, there and antics always put a smile on your face but it wouldn't last for long... Bc when you were outside a abomination grabbed Kamora and Denndy, while you were grabbed by Luz

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Hey let go of us you psychos!!"

"Amor are you okay? Did he hurt you!?"

"NO LET GO OF ME!!"

You tired to get out of Luz's grip but to no avail until

"BUTTERSCOTCH!!"

Then a Griffen showed up and started fighting, tbh it was a shit show before you managed to use a electricity spell to get out of their grass before getting to Kamora, then they got on the Griffen

"Y/N NO! Stay with us!! You'll be safe- WE can keep you safe!! Please!!!"

". . . ."

". . . I'm not.."

Kamora wasted no time getting up in the air, you were free..! But for how long... But you shook your head, you were with your two friends, you new best friends...

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Auughh first one-shot I did, idk if I like it that much but idk- I'm more used to writing headcanons-

[greekbros]

"greek-Bros": Spared no Expense

*Ares has invited Apollo, Artemis and Dionysus to Themiscyra*

Ares: Well I hope you guys like it, dad's been complaining about me not being "productive" enough for a god so I've decided to show you what I have been working on for a few weeks now. Spared no Expense.

Apollo: Well that is fine and all but I must ask why us?

Ares: Well why ask Athena to do the work of three already competent and much more trustworthy gods am I right?

Artemis: This place is huge seriously what have you been doing this whole time? Also the fuck do you mean "spared no expense" we're gods, money is completely beneath us.

Dionysus: Duuuuuude hope you set up some farms around here this place has got some nice greens.

Apollo: Um Dionysus, I'm wondering mostly because that outfit of yours suits you but why are you wearing a black button up? And where did you get those sunglasses?

Dionysus: *dressed up like Ian Malcolm* No reason why?

Ares: *literally dressed up like John Hammond* Yeah Apollo seriously I thought you were about that whole "clothes can mean whatever you want them to mean" stuff.

Apollo: *a little huffed at that remark* well then.

Ares: Ah we're here. *Stops his chariot*

Apollo: *turns and looks in awe at the distance with the over dramatic yet relatable disbelief of someone who has seen a fucking dinosaur*

Artemis: *had picked up a huge pinecone earlier* Ares, this species of pinecone shouldn't be here, this hasn't been around since th-*Apollo gently turns her head and is in equal disbelief*

*literally sees an entire civilization of purely just women*

Apollo: ....that's....that's all women ....this is literally more women I could have ever imagined seeing in one place

Artemis: Holy shit this looks actually cool

Dionysus: *who's been in on this fucking project the whole* He did it, that crazy son of a bitch did it. *Thunder rolling in the distance because he accidentally called Hera a bitch*...oh boi.

Ares: hehehe, welcome to Themiscyra.

*Jurassic Park theme*

Apollo:..Ares how did you even achieve this also why are there no men around?

Artemis: and why is that something you want to know?

Apollo: because to sustain such a population even you had officially kidnapped thousands of women or that has to be some sort of source of procreation.

Ares: Heheh, I did it all by myself, I told I spared no expense.

Apollo: oh my chaos you asexually reproduced these women?

Ares: What the fuck NO you glittery nerd. Remember I had that falling out with Aph a few months back?

Apollo: yes.

Ares: Well, I sat on the beach, trying to make myself feel better and after I was done I was really chafed so I took a nap. After like 2 weeks I woke up and I saw a bunch a little mounds all over the beach and I heard a baby crying, I dug were the sound was coming from and someone had buried alive infant on the beach. However I put two and two together and well....I'm dad of like roughly 39768 Amazonians. *Gives that smile one would give when they don't know they have done something impossible*

Apollo:...you...masterbated on the beach....than....this?

Ares:...yeah kind of. Oh by the way be careful with some of them because I haven't taught every single one of them to be social enough to not immediate kill anyone who isn't me in this place so stick with me ok?

Artemis: well sounds like my kind of people.

Apollo:.....you.... ejaculated....all over a beach...and..

Ares: Look I spared no expense that's all I can tell you. The advanced and "organized society" thing they did that all by themselves and I'm very proud.

Apollo:...for gods sake man

Dionysus: fuck yeeeaaaah bruh. *Hi fives Ares*.

Apollo: well....at least things can't get any worse*

*everything went worse after the Amazonians saw Apollo and Dionysus and everything went to slightly shit*

Bouns Scene:

Dionysus: *after some how breaking his leg, he lays down with his bare chest out seductively* We need to call for dad maybe he can help.

Ares: No I can't let him know about this he's gonna lose his shit.

Apollo: OH YOU THINK?!?

Ares: Look NO ONE told your sociopathic twin to hostility takeover after the girls accepted her into the city as a leader. I am going to give a serious talking to.

[femmeidiot]

Bruh you’re literally 100% correct about teens and kids believing they know the entirety of any given social justice cause just because they watched some (biased, misinforming) tiktok videos about it. They will argue that their generation is the most woke even though the last two major mass shootings in my country were a misogynistic teen male and a homophobic teen male.

I would contend that this current generation is more sexist and homophobic than mine was in the 2000s. Even when people were still openly using the word “f*g” as a general pejorative, at least we all knew the dudes hitting on lesbians were creeps and the men telling women how to do feminism were assholes

I think it’s honestly even more complex than that and I hate the whole concept of generalizing generations overall (this is not like a dig at you mentioning that btw). I think so many of the teens and young adults and kids right now do so deeply and genuinely care about social justice issues but they don’t want to see the problems with social media and how it is organized. There have been so many people who have tested (not necessarily in an academic sense) the way that algorithms work really well to allow impressionable kids (usually white boys) to spiral very quickly into right wing terror propaganda. However, algorithms are dangerous for everyone, and TikTok’s algorithm in particular is really good for curating a very specific experience, like you can create a perfect echo chamber of things you already agree with if you want to.

I think a lot of people, at all ages, don’t want to admit that these algorithms can be super dangerous to our thought processes. Even if you are looking at social justice topics, you can get so focused on something you heard and it just becomes a full truth to you and you will not be able to even consider the opinions of other people who even have a similar world view to you. Like a year or so ago I remember there was like a whole thing with young lesbians on tiktok campaigning against he/him lesbians, despite historical representations of lesbians who are transmasc, etc. and the fact that gender and sexuality are not the same thing and also the fact that pronouns do not equate to a gender, which is insanely binary thinking.

The reality of social media is you can curate a perfect feedback loop of things you agree with, and therefore when you see something you don’t agree with, or even if you just see someone you would normally have a lot of solidarity with you can become super defensive even over a really minute detail and become unwilling to have a normal conversation. The real world outside of social media (because social media is an aspect of the real world with real consequences) does not work like that. You cannot completely eliminate people you disagree with from your life. Even the people you are closest to you will disagree with and that’s literally just a normal human experience. You will have to be civil with people you don’t agree with or like and I know that only goes so far you shouldn’t give people a pass on being terrible but there is no way to avoid conflict in person to person connection forever and yelling at people you disagree with and calling them stupid in most settings will get you absolutely nowhere (and it doesn’t actually get you anywhere on social media either it only creates further divisiveness). This is not even to mention the way that it’s so easy to misunderstand tone and stuff online.

we really just need to, in both online and offline spaces, find ways to have open conversations with people because continuing the cycle of curating every single experience will only lead to further divisiveness. Individualism and focusing on your own individual beliefs so hard and fast can harm your ability to have true solidarity with others, and I’m not talking about people who are out there saying the nastiest shit you’ve ever heard I’m talking about other people working in social justice spaces. Making mistakes and having disagreements is normal it’s human it’s to be expected and you cannot just shun people out of those spaces when they’re trying to do positive work just because they fuck up. People have to be able to learn and grow and social media divisiveness does not allow that to happen.

[frodo-with-glasses]

More friendship asks! If you haven't already done them, then 1, 3, 5, and 13 for Beregond and Faramir. - Princess of Words

YOOOOO MY FAVORITE PERSON AND HIS FAVORITE PERSON LOL Let's go!

1. "When I think they became friends"

Listen, if you learned that somebody put his life and honor and reputation on the line to save your butt from being flambéd while you were passed out with a fever, there is no way you wouldn't automatically like that person.

Sure, it probably took some time before Beregond and Faramir were speaking more as friends than as lord and servant—since Beregond would doubtlessly be too humble to expect any special treatment, even after everything he did—but Faramir has a canonical superpower of putting people at ease around him, so after the whole arrangement in Ithilien got settled, it probably took no more than a few weeks of a polite fight between Beregond's sense of duty and humility and Faramir's obvious gratitude and good favor before they started to ease towards a relationship with a shocking resemblance to Frodo and Sam. Does Beregond still call him "my lord"? Yes he does. Is Faramir technically in charge? Yes he is. Are they besties tho? Oh abso-frickin'-lutely yes.

3. "A random headcanon I have of them"

Okay this might be really dumb but imagine:

Faramir goes to Beregond for parenting advice.

THIS IS VERY SELF-INDULGENT BUT also??? It's right there tho?? Beregond is canonically a great dad and Faramir canonically uhhhh didn't have the best role model and even if Denethor wasn't The WorstTM by the end of it, it's not like he's still around for encouragement and advice.

So I'm. Just seeing. Faramir calling Beregond in to the fantasy equivalent of his "office" to talk in private, and Beregond thinks this is gonna be something to do with the bodyguard (because that's his area of authority) and Faramir finally shyly being like "so uhhhh...you seem to be pretty successful with the whole 'raising kids' thing....and I'm new at this and really over my head so....help??"

And lemme tell ya, the way that Beregond's face would go from 0 to 200% SoftTM in the span of half a second might just keep me going for the next WEEK bruh

5. "A scene I wish we had of them"

Okay I exaggerated a little bit last time I said this but SERIOUSLY, give me the moment Faramir learns about what Beregond did for him or give me DEATH.

Again, this is only the second time I've read this book, and last time I was a kid and hardly paying attention, so I could have missed a lot. But I've just read "The Black Gate Opens" (you'll see my chapter review later today!) and skimmed "The Steward and the King", and so far as I can tell, the narrative basically forgets about Beregond altogether until he's pardoned by Aragorn.

I need to know how and when Faramir learned the truth. The Warden was instructed to keep it from him for the time being, and Beregond and Pippin weren't allowed to say anything, but he can't have been kept in the dark forever!

We know that Beregond and Bergil stayed behind in Faramir's room after Aragorn woke him up. What happened after that? Did they talk at all? Did Bergil run around helping Ioreth prepare some food and something to drink? Did Faramir say anything that made Beregond get a strange look on his face, but he kept silent, not wanting either to brag about himself or inflict the pain of what had just happened on his lord yet?

"I know your face. Tell me, whence before have I seen thee? For I cannot recall your name." "I am no one of great consequence, lord. Beregond son of Baranor is my name, if your lordship asks for it; and I am but a man of arms of the Guard of the Citadel." "Ah, there is the answer to my riddle. But here is another! Does not a Guard of the Citadel have his duties other than playing nursemaid to an invalid? He is needed elsewhere, I am certain." "...Nowhere more than here, lord."

Did anyone even tell Faramir the truth until Beregond had left for the Black Gate with the rest of Aragorn's company? Who would there even be who knew the full story? I imagine only the Warden would have any of the details, since he's the one who met with Aragorn and Gandalf at the end of "The Houses of Healing".

"It is only the plain truth that I seek, Warden. Three days now have passed, you tell me, since the evening I was admitted into this House, and my father has not yet come to call after my health; nor am I permitted to leave this place and go to him. What has happened? For I feel weary, and there is a great foreboding on my heart." He bowed. "It is regrettable that the truth needs be kept from one so far-sighted. But your lordship has already guessed the nature of it, I deem." "Yes; and it grieves me. My father has passed. He has joined my brother. Alas! Dark are these days! And heavy is my heart. Yet how this came to be is a mystery to vex me. No orc or troll or foul folk of the Enemy has breached the upper crown of the City, and my father would not go down to contest them. How comes it that he was slain?" "Ah! To tell the whole tale would multiply your grief, my lord. I know it only in part, but what little I was told would be a great burden." "My burden could be no greater. Yet I think I can guess what you disguise. Dark have been my dreams of late. I thought I heard my father's voice, marred with great anger, and uttering evil words. I had hoped it were not true, but there seems no other answer." "Then as your lordship has guessed so far, I must relent. Your father was taken by madness, and sought to escape thralldom to the Enemy through the only recourse he still knew; and to take you with him." He was silent, his head bowed as if with some great grief. At length, he spoke, and his voice was troubled. "So the Enemy assaults us from both without and within. Alas for my father! For he was a noble man, and proud in bearing, and good of heart once. To take me with him! How was it that I was spared? For I knew nothing of it, and certainly was not saved by my own hand." "By your own hand! No, my lord. It was the doing of Beregond of the Guard. Did you not know?" Then the Warden was called away to other duties, but Faramir stood still under the pavilion, deep in thought, and turned his eyes to the darkening East.

Anyway I just. Yeah. I need to know how Faramir found out. Sure, he could have learned it when Beregond was pardoned, but what's the fun in that?? I'm starting to think it would be even better if HE approached Aragorn to plead on Beregond's behalf. "I know he committed treason, but he saved my life." "I know, I'm not going to punish him. I've got this great idea for a prank tho—!"

13. "What I think would've happened if they had never met"

Faramir is McFrickin' Dead. Crispy crunchy roast Faramir.

FRIENDSHIP ASK GAME!

[ididkn0w]

That green and blue machine are both 125,000$ each can u fucking believe that. Only those two bro holy fucking shit. Omg and in the third pic u can’t see well but behind the fence is a robot arm it’s like a while ass transformer. And so it does shit don’t even ask me what but it was rlly cool. Btw this entire time Ive been at the restaurant and me my aunt and my gma and we’ve been waiting while my mom uncle and gpa talked with other clients and business ppl and babe it’s been like two hours and they just got back and they’re arguing about them bc idk prices n shit they said and whatever n they’re like yelling a lil at the table rn and my uncle is saying like u guys are treating this like a spy game and u guys are always so skeptical and thinking shit and my mom and gpa are like being like in a way it is we’re the top 20% more expensive in the market which is bad bc ppl want cheaper obv. N apparently an employee sent these people a list of our costs like how much It cost to produce n stuff n that’s rlly fucking bad like crisis type shit bc ofc we sell at a much higher prices and whatever like there’s a lot more to it that I don’t understand. Now my uncles saying u guys are always so negative and ppl are looking at us. Anyways I’m listening and talking to u it’s 3:31 pm rn. So back tl where I was. We went back to the conference room and they gave us giftssss Ik they’re like mini coffee cups. Omg bruh I can tell my moms backing out now😭 ok so I didn’t take pictures of them inside cus I wasn’t trynna open that shit. Oh yes and this typical Arabic cup to make coffee in. Cool souvenir or whatever. Ok I just got up it’s 3:41 rn I’ll finish typing In a bit. It’s the same thing following them around the fair. Then we finished the tour and got the gifts and then they took us to eat and resturaunt was sooooo pretty idk like the nature outside I felt like I was in the backyard of a rich Californian home idk and bro the food was soooooooo good and I drank Turkish tea again I loved the food. And once again no fucking wifi I always take screenshot to show u so we are and talked for like two hours and then we left and we went back to the factory and we left to the city again in the van and I slept the entire way and they woke me up and we were at a fucjing mall and I was mad as fuxk bc bro I was tired and I’m trynna get home to my man. And so we were there and like nothing was even open like it was rlly new. And I was bored as fuck but it was rlly pretty and then I’m so fr I took a picture of every cat I saw. And so we walked home and we stopped to get groceries and omg I forgot I to tell u at the mall we ate at a cafe. In the morning I took a picture of this place called mustafah u can look again n I thought it was silly bc everyone’s name here is mutsafah and we coincidentally ate there and it was sooooo good I ate a carénele tres leches it was so fucking good and I drank a coffee and they were in these cups that I loved they reminded me of u so much so I wanted them so bad so I went to buy them n they didn’t sell them so I got another ones that I think ull think are rlly cool they remind me of underthink logo. So they’re for our house. Then we walked home n we stopped be a grocery store for food and that’s when k got my Piña and then I stopped at this case place bc I’ve still been trynna get ur sparkly thing for ur cameraaaaa so I went and looked and asked for ur phone n they didn’t have any at that place but they had for mine but I just know they’ll have it at another one of those so don’t worry ur still getting one and I also got u this thing for ur charger u can put on it. I love you😄 n then got home n talked to u for like four hours I think even five

[the-kipsabian]

first, saw the tags on the reblog. what if it's like a trick to lure someone to the belt, giving them this small taste of power or at least put into their imagination what sort of power they would have if they held the belt? either to lure in a new host or someone to break the current host down further? idk. just woke up from a nap and have no idea if that makes sense.

second, thoughts on a vampire AU fic with orangekip… but orange is the vampire and bites/feeds off of kip? something i'm considering adding to my wip list once i work out plot details

i was gonna go to bed but i have to write this down cause i will forget bUT ITS A SIREN CALL. THE BELT HAS A SIREN CALL. it will promise you the things you want beyond your wildest dreams and it differs for each holder (if we include pac, its the spot in history as the first ever holder and defender on non-us soil, for kip it promises obviously power and prestige beyond believe like he wont be underrated anymore, and with oc its about people taking him seriously finally and him actually having gold and what is reflected as good career marks in the company)

bruh im always down for a vampire au 👀 i have some thoughts but if you have ideas im not gonna throw them down right now in case i mess your ideas up lol, but yeah yell at me any time you work something out tho!!

[into-the-center-of-things]

day eight: indiana expedition!!!

"a town choking on

weeds green with modernity—

time passes over."

Think this will be another short one because we kind of stayed in the same place for a lot of today.

We woke up and headed to the dunes around 10:30am, or the Indiana National Park Dunes or whatever the fuck its called. It took like an hour to get there, traffic was fine, passing through state lines was fine (immediately greeted with advertisements for dispensaries which was kind of funny).

The lake beach was kind of populated but not entirely, we found an empty spot to set up a towel and we spread out our snacks to eat. The sky was beautiful, there was an incoming storm so it was full of big bloated white clouds and I was really obsessed with it. That and the goat cheese. The goat cheese was really good with the cantaloupe peach black pepper jam that @germfreeadulthood brought. Huehuehue.

Anyways. The initial tide of the beach was covered in rocks, so entering the water hurt a little bit but once you got deeper in the water it wasn't as rocky. There wasn't any danger of sharks or sting rays since it was a lake, not the ocean, so I'm glad of that, and there were no crashing waves to sweep me away like the ocean. Again, just the lull of the lake water which felt nice.

We played frisbee and laid in the sand and splashed around for most of day. People watching was also an activity—there were these two teenage boys having a stupid sexist conversation about girls that we found hilarious (one referred to a girl he didn't find attractive on the beach as "she's dust, bruh" which was awful and hilarious at the same time). We didn't leave I think until like 6pm.

I have too many beach pictures so I'll talk about the rest of the trip in a second post.

[aquadreamsiac]

I've been putting off writing about these next two dreams for like two weeks idk why. but i recorded myself speaking them so i havent forgotten. anyway dream one. my extended family, close friends, and gf were all at this campsite.. kind of french shallay campsite vibe. it was sunny. I didn't see a lot of my extended family. i knew my ex best friend's extended family were there too, i saw the back of their heads in a different picnic field, but we didn't interact. woke up one morning in a bunk bed dorm room shallay with jess issi soyeon and freya and we were all really grogy and had slept really weirdly, we were saying it was as if we'd done MD the night before. my grandma was there and started crying, she was really upset at the idea of me doing drugs and being messed up like that, she thought we meant we had actually done md that evening and i was cuddling her telling her of course I wouldn't bring drugs on a family camping holiday. she was very relieved and we had a long hug and a cry. she was saying how I'm still her baby granddaughter. there were stepping stones over shallow streams around this campsite that i remember walking across. i kept noticing that i was naked from the waist down and was trying to style it out. i was walking around down this street that had loads of huge pubs/taverns. there was a really cocky annoying guy who i think was outside one of the pubs trying to get in and i was on the other side of the door... we had some kind of altercation through the door i can't remember exactly what was said. he was being really annoying about it. i kept walking and found my two half cousins who i havent seen for ages. i kept remembering i didn't have any clothes on and getting really embarrassed. and then one of the cousins looked at me and said "do you think you'll ever get labia reduction surgery like get them sniped because they're so big and long they look like open barn doors" WHAT THE FUCK. (SIDE NOTE I WOKE UP LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME HOW LONG HAS THAT PHRASE BEEN IN MY SUBCONSCIOUS BECAUSE IVE NEVER HEARD ANYKNE SAY THAT BEFORE. OPEN BARJ DOORS??). i made him feel SO BAD about havinf said that to me and then left. on my way back to the campsite the annoying guy from earlier had turned out to be a comedian and he was doing a bit about the weirdest most annoying people he'd had altercations with in pubs and he was talking about me as i walked past. then i woke up??? bruh ☠️☠️

[streetcornertwoam]

Bruh...

I just fucking hate him

It's been over 10 yrs, and you still REMEMBER MY PHONE NUMBER?? Are GIVING IT OUT TO PEOPLE?? STOP

Like what the actual fuck

Context: I had a missed call and voicemail when I woke up this morning. Figured it was just spam, but listened to it earlier to just double check, and then delete and the first couple of words I hear are his name. So that IMMEDIATELY threw me. I had to replay it 'cause I was so confused. Basically it was some lady calling from some...court payment thing, I don't even know, reaching out TO HIM about paying something or other to do with the county clerks office

And you give them MY NUMBER WHY???? This also isn't the first time this has happened. I had a very similar voice message left several yrs back now about almost the same thing. I don't remember exactly what it was about, but I do remember it having to do with paying fines or tickets or something

And then, and I just remembered this, it was shortly after we broke up and stopped talking I was receiving texts about how he wasn't showing up for the Marines or something, and he needed to get into contact or something. I don't know. Again, this shit was over 10 yrs now and I remember thinking then, so you signed up and just what... fucked completely off?? Idk

BUT...this shit of over 10 yrs and you can still remember my number??? (Admittedly, as far as phone numbers go it's pretty easy but nonetheless) And just are seemingly SUPER OK with giving it out to people?? Why?? I didn't do fucking anything to you. YOU fucked me over. YOU stole money from me and my family. YOU stayed with us for MONTHS when your parents kicked you out (or did they actually? did you just claim that's what happened 'cause you wanted out, and figured we'd help you? I honestly don't know anymore). YOU somehow got my MOM'S information so that YOU could set up a phone ON HER ACCOUNT FOR YOURSELF. I wasn't the best girlfriend. We should have broken up LONG before we did. I was beyond immature, and I'm sure I did guilt you into staying with me longer than you wanted. But the thing is...you really still could have left at anytime. You eventually got to the point where that's what you wanted, and made it happen. Again, admittedly I think my family also kinda pushed the issue 'cause they caught you out with another girl and called you on your bullshit. So hey, who knows, maybe you would have just stayed living here and going off doing whatever if you'd never been caught. I wouldn't half doubt it. 'Cause even I KNEW you were cheating. Fucking coming back with hickeys all over your neck. Like...I wasn't gonna see? Or did you just want me to see and end it 'cause you were too big of a fucking puss to do it yourself?? I don't know. I hate that even now after all this time, it still can get me riled up like this. It's stupid. And lowkey maybe it still gets to me 'cause we never got to hash shit out. You just left, and I was still so stupidly in love and was miserable, and you still texted every now and then, and kept giving me false hope. Until months later my mom found out about the phone thing, and after that it was over. I never spoke to you again, you never tried to reach out again. After that it really sunk in that, oh...no we're over over. It's never gonna work out. We're officially done done. I never got to confront you about any of this. And while I could message you on facebook (which you also tried to friend me on years ago you fucking freak), and say my peace. It just...it honestly doesn't matter. Would it maybe help me to get past all this? Yea maybe. But I'd honestly be afraid of what you'd try and potentially pull up or something, that I don't feel it worth my time.

If I didn't have such anxiety I'd at least call that woman back, and be like I'm sorry this is number doesn't belong to who you think it does, and I have no way of getting in touch with him or how to tell you to do it. But he's a lying piece of shit, and don't trust anything he says. And if it could written down somewhere that if he ever tries to give this number again, call him out on it and tell him you know that it's not his ACTUAL number.

Like you wanna give out a number that doesn't belong to you, fine. I don't care. But why MINE?? Like seriously why fucking mine. 'Cause you know they're gonna call and I'm gonna have to hear your stupid ass name, and then it's gonna just wreck my entire day? For why. We'd known each other since we were 5 goddamn yrs old. We dated for 3 1/2 yrs. But sure whatever dude. If that's your way of getting back at me, or just trying to get to me...or I honestly don't know. But it's done. I'm done.

I'm typing all this and sending it out into the ether in the hopes of clearing my mind, and hopefully moving the fuck on. I blocked that number, so at least I can't get any more calls from it. But that doesn't mean future ones won't come in still. But maybe the next time it does, I'll be able to handle it better. And by that I mean, listen to the call, roll my eyes, and immediately block and delete.

[fall-shorter]

THE NIGHT RIDE - GFR (FlashFic, WAFF)

Everybody remembers those late night rides home with your family. That's a tiny slice of life of just that, but instead of family there are thugs :D

***

It was late at night, well past midnight. A black van was quietly going through a highway. The car inside was dark as well and only orange-tinted street lamps made it possible to see people inside.

Majority of them were already asleep, leaning on the doors and breathing quietly. The vampire in the right corner was wearing big headphones, that if you paid enough attention, you could hear a faint sound of obnoxiously loud, japanese game soundtrack blasting in his ears, somehow completely not bothering him. The rest - The big lizard on the left and leaning on him, a boy with cat ears, were sleeping in complete silence. Because of that the radio was also turned off, to not disturb them. Two people on the front were also silent. The red-headed driver wasn't even holding the wheel correctly, rather just resting one of his hands on the bottom part, his other hand holding a closed cup of gas station coffee, completely washed out of any significant taste. It was just to keep him awake.

On the passenger seat there was a sleepy phoenix. She did her best to not fall asleep, leaning on the window and trying really hard to keep her bird eyes open, constantly blinking to the point it was making her dizzy. The constant loop of the street lights and the fact there was nothing on the road to distract her made it only harder to stay awake.

– You can take a nap if you want. We still have a few hours to go. – A sudden voice of Ivo, the driver, woke her up.

– Few hours? Bruh, that's what you get for wanting to skip the gates. Like, the gas will cost more than if we just went through, y'know?

– Whatever. I'm not paying them, Szili.

– yea...

She looked to the side where, besides three other highway lanes, there was also a faint, dark silhouette of a forest. She couldn't make out anything coherent out of it however. It was quite to be expected, her kind is not suited for darkness and her night vision was even worse than human's. Sziliana frowned a bit, irritated with her sleepiness as her eyelids began to fall again. Her hand slowly reached the button on the dashboard and the window went down a bit with a quiet buzz. Everything outside got a bit louder and the fresh air hit her face, making her a bit more lively. She took a deep breath.

– When I was like, younger – The bird started – I would often come back from family parties this late. Like, I was always asleep on the back, yea? Weird, I was calm enough to fall asleep, cuz I knew that my pops was way too drunk to drive…

The phoenix chuckled weakly and smiled as if her consciousness was slipping away. Well, it probably was, the fresh air only could keep her awake for so long. Ivo exhaled air slightly louder, signaling that he considered her "story" rather funny.

Sziliana yawned and then frowned very quickly. She raised her hands and gently smacked her cheeks a few times.

– Ugh! Dude, talk to me, or I'm really gonna snooze. – She pouted like an angry teen girl and stared at Ivo with reproof.

– Huh? I don't have anything to say. Just get some shut eye. – Ivo didn't even peek at her, just kept his calm, serious eyes on the road. Unfazed, as always.

– What if you fall asleep, tho? I need to, like, keep an eye on ya! – Bird smiled proudly, as if that was a very important task she had.

The demon rolled his eyes, finally looked at Szili and raised the white paper cup with brownish accents and shook it lightly in his hand.

– I drank three. This will keep me awake for the next few hours, amigo. You're good.

– Ugh, fine mom. – She said mockingly, puffing up her lips, but quickly changed her face to something more genuine – Just wake me up in like two hours or so, I'll swap with ya… With the wheel and all.

And those were the last words spoken for now. Sziliana rested her head on the car's window and her eyes almost immediately shut. Her feathers fluffed up, making a cosy cocoon for her to snuggle in and so she fell asleep really quickly.

Ivo however, did not wake her up two hours later, not like he agreed to do it. He didn't want to bother her.