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mythos-writes · 4 years ago

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Trainee Love

Jethro x Reader

Plot: You were Hoppo's daughter and also worked with the boys in blue on Bondi’s beaches. When Jethro joined the ranks, they were the new trainees for the season. While being ripped into everyone during the summer and trying to prove their spots, something else forms.

(For those who might not know, Roots is a Canadian brand that sells sweaters, sweatpants, etc. with the word roots on it, but in Australia, Roots mean something else than just the tree system in the ground)

Miscellaneous Masterlist

Warning: mentions of abuse, lifeguards saving people, words meaning different things (like thongs are flip flops), sappy

Word Count:2.6k

I do not give permission for anyone to repost/ post my stories, with or without credit. Reblogs, comments, etc. are more than welcomed, but please DO NOT copy and paste my stories that you may like onto another platform.

Divider by @firefly-graphics

Being the boss’s daughter was always hard, and for (Y/N)’s case, she had about 9 uncles watching her everywhere she goes on the beach. But this summer was going to be different. (Y/F/N) Hopkins was going to be a trainee lifeguard this season. For her it was exciting, but for Hoppo, he was nervous as he knows what the job entails.

With that, it has all lead to this morning. (Y/N) was sleeping when she felt someone shaking her shoulder. She whines at someone waking her up so early before shaking them off.

“I am guessing that you want to miss your first day then?” her dad questions.

Her eyes shoot open and she quickly got up, causing her to fall out of bed. As she lets out a grown and stumbles to get up, Hoppo was quietly laughing at her antics. She looks over at him and glares at him, before getting up and stretching.

“Ok, I will let get ready and I will meet you in the kitchen,” he says before leaving her room.

She sighs before going over to the (one-piece/ two-piece) bathing suit before pulling on some gym shorts and the lifeguard blue top. She then grabbed a sweater to put on, as it is 5 am and it is still chilly out and made her way to the kitchen. As soon as she entered, her father handed her a breakfast sandwich.

“Are you excited for today?” he questions while leaning against the island and taking a bite of the egg sandwich.

“Yeah, but not looking forward to them ripping into me cause I am the trainee,” she says.

“Well, you won’t be the only one that they get to pick on this season. There will be a kid named Jethro joining us this season as well.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that there was going to be another trainee this season?” she questions him.

Hoppo chuckles at his daughters’ reaction before turning to her.

“Thought I would make it a surprise. Now, come on, we are going to be late opening the beach.”

(Y/N) finishes her breakfast before putting on her sweater. Hoppo turned to her and sees what sweater she had decided to grab.

“I hate that you got that sweater in a gift box from (Y/BF/N) when he/she went to Canada,” he complains.

She looks down to see she had pulled the salt n pepper-coloured sweater with almost velvet letters that spell out Roots and a small beaver on top. (Y/N) looks back up and just giggles while getting her thongs (FLIP FLOPS/SLIDES) on.

When they arrived at the beach, there were already a few other lifeguards there. Some of them noticed that Hoppo wasn’t alone this morning and they knew who exactly it was.

“Good morning Hoppo and (Y/N)!” Harries yells from the tower, causing the ones who were close to the tower to look.

(Y/N) Looks out to see that Chappo, Beardy, Maxi, Matty Dee, and a new face. Harries brings her into a side hug while the others start to make their way up to the tower.

“Are you excited for your first day on the beach as a trainee?” he asks. She gives a small nod.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Awe if it isn’t (Y/N/N), now you get to run with the big boys this year,” Chappo teases. (Y/N) just rolls her eyes before lightly pushing Chappo.

“Alright, you will have all day to push her around,” Beardy says with a small chuckle.

Before she could respond to his words, Harries jumps in quickly.

“Ok, before this can go on any further, how about we introduce our trainees for the season? (Y/N) Hopkins this is Jethro James, the fellow trainee this season,”

Her eyes fell upon a kid who looked to be 5’9 or 5’10, long blonde hair, with the same blue lifeguard shirt on.

“Hey, it is good to meet you,” she says with a smile while shaking his hand.

“It’s good to meet you too, these guys wouldn’t stop talking about you all set up,” Jethro confesses. She turns to the boys with a fack, over sweet looking smile.

“Awe guys, are you excited to work with me,” (Y/N) teases them.

“Of course we are, we get to be your babysitter, and get paid for it,” Chappo says, causing her to drop the smile and roll her eyes.

“Alright you bloke, let’s get our teams together before the film crew is on us, Hoppi and Chappo will be in the North end, Jethro and Maxi will be at the South end and Beardy, Matty Dee and myself will be in the tower and leaving Hoppo in the office,” Harries tells the group.

As they all agree with how the morning set up was, (Y/N) just looks at Harries with a disappointed look.

“What?” he questions.

“Hoppi?? Really?” (Y/N) questions.

“Yeah, your dad is Hoppo and you are Hoppi,” Harries says with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.

The rest of the guys were stifling their laughs as she just glares at him. She grabbed her water bottle and started to spray him with it. This caused Harries and (Y/N) to run around the front of the tower and the rest of the group just laughing at their antics. Hoppo just shakes his head watching his daughter and his friends antics and thinking ‘It is to early for this.’

“Anthony Carroll you will regret that!” you scream, causing him to stop and laugh.

He turns and throws her over his shoulder and started to walk back towards the tower. As they were walking back, the sounds of the guy’s laughter relaxed (Y/N) just a little.

“All right you two, let’s get the buggy’s ready to go, so we can have a good first day for our trainees today,” Hoppo says.

(Y/N) helped with putting boards on the buggies and making sure they all are stocked with first-aid. Chappo grabbed the keys and radios before he made his way to the blue rhino and met her down there. She puts her hair up and places her sunglasses on as the hot Australian sun starts to peek over the buildings looking over the beach.

“Are you ready?” Chappo questions while starting the buggy. (Y/N) smiles before answering.

“I was born ready.”

“That a girl,” he says before driving the buggy down to North Bondi.

After about 3 or 4 hours of watching the calm waters of North Bondi, Yatzey had shown up to take over. As they started to make their way back to the tower, her stomach growled. Chappo laughed at her but kept his eyes on where they were going.

“Lunchtime?” (Y/N) question.

Before he could respond, his stomach growled as well. Now they both laugh at their body noises.

“Definitely lunchtime.”

As they arrived back at the tower and walked up the stairs, Jethro and Maxi were back there.

“Hey guys, how was the south end?” Chappo questions.

“Had to make a few saves, told some people off when they wouldn’t listen, but nothing too serious,” Maxi answers.

“Well that’s good, I am going to go for my lunch now, does anyone want to come?” she asks.

Jethro looked like he was about to say something, but Chappo quickly jumped in.

“It’s all good (Y/N), we are going to eat in the tower,” Chappo replies.

“Alright, I will be right back,” she grabbed her things from the tower and walked to one of the restaurants on Campbell Parade.

Jethro POV

Once (Y/N) left, Chappo and Harries turned and gave me a look.

“What?” I question.

“You better be careful who you give googly eyes to, or you will have a whole fleet of lifeguards on you,” Harries explains.

“I know she is Hoppo’s daughter, but come on,” I defend myself.

“You are just lucky that you didn’t see what the last boyfriend did,” Maxi chimes in while looking out over the water.

I quickly shoot him a confused look. Now, this really caught my attention. “W-why what happened to the last one?”

The three didn’t say anything. I watched as they gave each other looks before one of them decided to speak.

“She had introduced us to this kid named (Random boy name here) and he was nice, but had an off feeling about him. We tried to warn her about it, but she wouldn’t have any of it,” Chappo explains.

“One day she walked into the tower with bruises all over her body. Without even asking her what happened, we knew that he did this to her,” Maxi said.

“Luckily for us, she didn’t hide who did this to her, they had broken up the night before and he decided that he wanted to show his true colours,” Harries says, leaning on the rail.

“So, what happened to him?”

“That night, we decided to go to the Iceberg and have some drinks after our shift was done. Just to relax. When we saw (Random boy name here) walk in, we took this matter into our own hands,” Chappo says, making my eyes widen a bit. Before anyone could say another word, the door opened and (Y/N) walked back in.

Back to Normal POV

“I thought you were on lunch?” Harries question.

“Yeah, but I would be too lonely, so I grabbed a sandwich and came back,” she says while opening it.

She then looks around to see the guys looking at her.

“What?” she questions. They quickly averted their gaze away from her and back to the beach.

“Harries and Maxi, can you help me with some stuff that is in the storage area?” Chappo questions.

“Yeah, you two keep eyes on things, we will be right back,” Harries says, while Maxi and Chappo follow him out of the tower. This leaves the two trainees in the lifeguard tower. As (Y/N) ate her sandwich and watched the beachgoers have their fun. Jethro’s mind was racing.

“Hey (Y/N)?” Jethro’s voice breaks the silence in the tower.

“Yes, Jeff,” taking her eyes off of the water and turning to the blonde.

“I was wondering if you wanted to hang out after work tomorrow?” This question shocks her, but she smiles at him.

“ I would love to Jethro,” she replies. Jethro looked shocked at her answer. His shocked expression quickly turned happy.

“We can get some food and hang out at Bronti,” Jethro suggests.

That sounds perfect,” she says before they both turn back to watching the water.

~A couple of weeks later~

After (Y/N) and Jethro had spent their afternoon together, they were spending more time together, both during work and after work. The crew started to notice how often they were together and started to poke fun at them. This wasn’t new for trainees to be picked on and pranks being played on them, look back to Harrison counting people on the beach and getting sunburned, but they would do it to the two of them at the same time. But today seemed like a calm day from what they had been dealing with.

As (Y/N) was returning to the tower, she saw a bunch of them and a member of the public looking out the back of the water.

“What’s going on?” she questions.

“They had sent your little boyfriend out to retrieve a big Texas dude,” Deno responds. This caused (Y/N) to pick up a pair of binoculars to look out and sees Jethro toe paddling him back to shore. She then joined in on the laughter that was forming in the tower.

“I’ll go meet them at the shoreline,” she says quickly leaving the tower. When (Y/N) gets down there, the two were just getting out of the water and the camera crew was setting up a quick interview with the both of them. After that, Jethro was drying off.

“That was quite the rescue,” she says, making him jump a little.

“Awe thanks, that was the most intense rescue I have done all summer so far,”

“You were his hero,” He then starts to laugh before bringing her into his wet chest.

“NO JEFF!! I DIDN’T WANT TO GET WET YET!” she yells, but he laughs more and just holds her tighter.

“So I was thinking of having a little surfing competition between the two of us,” he says, still holding her.

“Oh yeah, so you are prepared to have your ass kicked,” (Y/N) says with a shit-eating grin. He then releases her and puts back on his shirt.

“If anything, I will beat you,” he corrects her, causing her to roll her eyes.

“How about after work I can prove you wrong.”

“Deal now let’s get back up to the tower before the others think we are doing something other than lifeguarding.”

When (Y/N) and Jethro’s shifts had ended, they quickly put on their wetsuits and grabbed a surfboard and headed out to the surf. As the waves started to roll, they would take turns riding the waves. When she would fall off of her board, Jethro would laugh at her, but she would do the same to him.

When they came in from the surf, they sat on the sand and watched the sunset. (Y/N) leans against him and Jethro put his arm around her shoulder. She looks up at him, her feeling for the blonde had grown over the last couple of weeks. She feels her cheeks blush at her thoughts before leaning her head into his chest. He smiles and kisses the crown of her head.

She looks back up at him, and he looks down at her. She then leans up and places her soft lips onto his. He was shocked at first, then he leaned into the kiss. Sparks were felt between both of them and it felt magical. Before it could get too heavy of a kiss, cheers and laughter were heard behind them. They released each other and saw the rest of the lifeguards were standing by the tower and buggies.

“Well they seem happy,” Jethro comments, causing both the chuckle. She turns back to him with a smile.

“So what does this make us?” she questions. He smiles before getting up and putting his hand out for her to get up.

“I think this makes up for than friends. How about I make you my girlfriend?” he questions. This caused (Y/N) to smile before hugging him.

“I like that… but…”

“I won’t be like (Randon Boy's name). You will never have to worry about that again,” he says while looking deep into her (Y/E/C) eyes. She was shocked at his words.

“How did you…”

“Thank Chappo, Maxi and Harries for being the protective people that they are,” he says with a small smile. (Y/N) looks back up to the tower before turning back to Jethro. She brings him into another kiss. Jethro smiles into the kiss and brings her into a heated kiss.

“All right you two, come back to the tower,” Hoppo says through the megaphone.

They break apart before looking back to the tower once again. (Y/N) could feel the nervousness coming from him.

“It will be ok, my dad will be fine,” she says while starting to walk.

“That’s not what I am worried about…”

“So what are you are worried about?”

“The team being the protective family that they are to you and Hoppo letting me go.” (Y/N) holds his hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

“If they do anything, they will have to go through me first,” she says, causing both to laugh.

“Oh my hero,” he says while smiling, now ready to face the protective squad of lifeguards.

#bondi rescue #bondi beach #hoppo #bronte beach #bruce hopkins #jethro #jethro x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #fish out of water #joel and jethro #australia #Jethro “Jeff” James #Jethro james #harrison reid #chappo #maxi #singlets #jethro x y/n

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theliterateape · 6 years ago

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I Like to Watch | Dark Phoenix

by Don Hall

When I look back on the debut of Bryan Singer’s X-Men in 2000, the display of serious charisma and acting gravity was significant. Patrick Stewart. Ian McKellan. Famke Janssen. Halle Berry. Anna Paquin. James Marsden. Bruce Davison. The then unknown but amazing Hugh Jackman. I mean, this was a cast of serious talent.

X2 (also Singer) was even better. Brian Cox and Alan Cumming signed on. Once again, great freaking cast, solid writing, great love triangle, with each of these premiere actors getting at least a few moments in the movie to really chew things up.

In that regard, at least Singer understood something that previous attempts at superhero films hadn’t entirely grasped: it isn’t about the powers on display or the special effects, it’s about the people who have them. It takes a lot of fucking charisma to pull off a role derived from a comic book. Imagine Wolverine even being a blip if any other actor had played him but Jackman. Imagine any other actor playing Charles Xavier but Stewart. Then jump to 2017’s Logan and try to conceive of any two actors who could pull that cinematic stunt off.

All told, the first two X-Men movies had five Oscar-winning actors.

When I was a die-hard comic reader, back in the day, it was the artists who made the difference with their specific and distinct drawing styles. My favorite artist was always John Byrne and his take on The Fantastic Four and later the X-Men. There is something about his work that brought characters I loved to a certain kind of life and it always ended up being something about the pen and ink magnetism of the heroes.

When you look at the non-Fox MCU, it isn’t Iron Man that makes that first foray work. It’s Robert Downey, Jr., an Oscar-winning actor with so much natural appeal dripping from his pores and Jeff Bridges oozing palpable malevolence that electrifies the kind of silly storyline. It took Captain America to reveal Chris Evans as a truly exciting actor to watch, and The Hulk isn’t awesome because of the advanced CGI but because Ruffalo is a great actor. Add the extraordinary screen presence of Sam Jackson and how can you fail?

Less than technological advances, I’d argue the primary reason superhero movies are the Big Gorilla in cinema today is about the casting.

Christopher Reeve as Superman. Michael Keaton and Christian Bale as Batman. Jack Nicholson and Heath Ledger as The Joker. Cate Blanchett as Hella. Tobey Maguire and Tom Holland as Spiderman. Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman. Anthony Hopkins as Odin. Gene Hackman and Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor. Ron Perlman as Hellboy. Wesley Snipes as Blade. Hugo Weaving as Red Skull. James Spader as Ultron. Michael B. Jordan as Killmonger. Paul Rudd as Ant-Man. Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool. Alfred Molina as Dr. Octopus.

Christ, the Nolan Batman trilogy has both Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman in secondary roles!

When FOX decided to re-invent the X-Men with X-Men: First Class in 2011, they followed suit. James MacAvoy. Michael Fassbender. Jennifer Lawrence. Kevin Bacon. Fuuuck. That’s a chunk of star power by actors with some serious street cred, yes?

Following that up with X-Men: Days of Future Past, we get Stewart, McKellen, Jackman, Berry, MacAvoy, Fassbender, Lawrence, as well as Ellen Page and fucking Peter Dinklage!

Sure, X-Men: Apocalypse still has Fassbender, MacAvoy, Lawrence, and Oscar Isaac(!) but suddenly, the X-Men team consists of actors with almost zero screen presence: Nicholas Hault, Evan Peters, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Alexandra Shipp, Tye Sheridan, and Sophie Turner. Who? Why? Each one with a diminishing return on presence or pop. None of whom would be interesting enough to have dinner with let alone spend two hours watching them pretend to be superheroes already played by far more charismatic actors.

So, finally, we get to the final FOX X-Men movie. Dark Phoenix. Fassbender and MacAvoy look tired. Lawrence mails in a quick “Thank God I don’t have to do these fucking movies anymore” performance. Jessica Chastain seems bored out of her mind and the heavy-lifting is done by these dull, milquetoast actors trying really hard to emote the big scenes but falling short of a single moment. Even the big message (You are a woman and so your power comes from being emotional) is a watered down version of Brie Larsen’s journey in Captain Marvel, which is flawed because Larsen has the charm of a brick of sod.

Frankly, I love these movies derived from comic book superheroes. I grew up reading this stuff so to see them up onscreen with amazing CGI powers is super cool. These characters are a form of modern mythology and no one casts a demi-god with an actor who couldn’t sell me car insurance.

#I Like to Watch #Dark Phoenix #X-Men #superheroes

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movietvtechgeeks · 7 years ago

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Latest story from https://movietvtechgeeks.com/transformers-reboot-superior-marvel-reboot-inferior/

'Transformers' reboot superior, Marvel reboot inferior

Marvel’s Fresh Start Reboot used to be a term thrown around in the realm of computers as the act of re-starting a computer when it acts unusually, acts crazy or simply stalls. After rebooting, the computer returns to an error-free state and works as efficiently as it could, until the memory is again flooded and corrupted with leftover data and buggy code. Nowadays, rebooting also means re-starting or re-doing an old media franchise. The purpose is often to rejuvenate a franchise or updating it to bring in modern and younger fans. Reboots can both be good or bad. The ideas involved in reboots can be cool and fresh but sometimes terrible, lazy and uninspired. Reboots can be a product of love by longtime fans of a franchise but can also be a tool by greedy, unimaginative folks just looking to cash in. There are two upcoming reboots that will affect geek culture and the public in general. One is generally welcome while the other is a mixed bag. The Transformers film franchise and Marvel Comics. The news came out a couple of days ago that Marvel Comics is about to do another soft reboot of its continuity. Something Marvel fans and comic book readers are now quite wary of. Marvel calls it a ‘fresh start’ indicating that several of its titles will be undergoing changes indicative of a reboot. The initiative sounds more like a re-launch. Something Marvel promised about a year ago not to do anymore. For several years, Marvel Comics has been releasing new series, new titles and new volumes of old titles left and right. Aside from that, they keep launching major crossover events one after, the other every other Tuesday much to the chagrin of comic book readers. A series of terrible decisions within the Marvel bullpen has resulted in stagnant comic book sales and more often than not, bad storylines, complicated by mishandling of social justice, politics, and diversity which they used to be good at. Every company enters a slump at some point and to get out of it, Marvel’s new editor-in-chief C.B. Cebulski has decided on another relaunch. Not much is known from Marvel’s Fresh Start initiative other than it being another relaunch or soft reboot much like what it did with Secret Wars 2015 which was followed by All-New All-Different Marvel (ANAD). It was a shame that Marvel didn’t completely reboot its continuity after Secret Wars as it was a great opportunity to finally escape their convoluted sliding timeline and bring new readers in and giving old readers something new just like DC did with its New 52. Well, Marvel could have done better than New 52. Unfortunately, Marvel was pre-occupied with race-bending and gender-swapping several of its main characters and seemed to focus more on politics than telling good superhero stories. Marvel is no stranger to politics and social issues but doesn’t seem to have a good handle on those lately. The stellar performance of the Marvel Cinematic Universe is supposed to help boost comic sales, but current returns are the opposite. Marvel Comics was supposed to promote more Steve Rogers Captain America but instead went with Sam Wilson. After the Success of Captain America: Civil War, Marvel comics decides to turn Steve Rogers into a Nazi., seemingly negating the film’s success as if it was a conscious effort. It was a good story but very ill-timed. Thor Odinson would have benefited from Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston’s popularity, but they instead had Jane Foster flying around. Jane Foster as Thor, however, was good storytelling. People are loving Bruce Banner Hulk thanks to Mark Ruffalo, but Marvel readers are greeted with Asian Hulk Amadeus Cho and later had Banner killed by Hawkeye during an obvious cash-in event. And finally, people can’t get enough of Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark, but when they pick up an Iron Man title, they see Riri Williams. In another time, these would have been cool ideas. Some of these stories are actually good, but the targeted new readers aren’t picking them up because they aren’t relatable. We don’t mind changes to characters as long as they’re nicely timed and executed. The constant reboots and relaunches by Marvel aren’t doing them much good not just with their readers but with their retailers as well. Marvel has about five Avengers title at a given time, and they hardly last 24 issues before they’re replaced with a new volume. So because diversity and politics ‘weren’t working’, Marvel decided to launch the Marvel Legacy initiative. Legacy meaning returning to its roots and bringing back classic characters. This move worked well with DC when DC merged the New 52 reality with post-Crisis reality resulting in DC Rebirth. The aim of Rebirth was to bring back classic continuity as requested by fans, thankfully killing off emo Superman and bringing back the hopeful Blue Boy Scout and most of all, bringing back good, fantastic storytelling. With Legacy, Marvel also promised not to hold any new crossover events for at least 18 months (Venomverse anyone?). However, five months in, with sales still low and more confused readers after the company returned to its classic numbering, Marvel decided to just screw it and do another relaunch, with many news sites calling the move a reboot, perhaps hopefully. Because a reboot would certainly clean things up for both old and new readers. A reboot will certainly help older readers forget about silly events, silly costumes, dialogue that give nosebleeds, bad decisions and retcons fans just can’t wrap their heads around. And a reboot would certainly encourage more new readers to pick up comic books of characters they’ve just seen out of theaters and in TV like Black Panther the Guardians of the Galaxy, the Runaways and the Agents of SHIELD. Marvel just seems deathly afraid of throwing out decades of continuity. Again, Secret Wars could have given Marvel a clean slate to work with, but the company is afraid to let older fans down. Personally, while I’m still invested in the X-Men’s Dark Phoenix Saga, Fatal Attractions, and the Onslaught Saga, I wouldn’t mind an adaptive reset. I enjoyed reading Ghost Rider’s Rise of the Midnight Sone, Road to Vengeance and Midnight Massacre and won’t forget those. But Robbie Reyes’ Hellcharger is the dope and wouldn’t mind a fresh start with new and adaptive adventures. I say adaptive as imaginative writers can always bring in classic events and make them seem like new. They did those fairly well in X-Men: The Animated Series, Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes and Spectacular Spider-Man. So letting go of old continuity is quite possible and would allow the creativity of Marvel to go wild. Not too wild as Marvel’s editor-in-chief still needs to rein things in and act like a miniature Kevin Feige. Or Marvel will just keep the current continuity but launch its titles again beginning with Number 1s, confusing the readers more and making this fresh start seem like another gimmick in a long series of uninspired cash-ins. We’re not throwing shade at Marvel Comics. Without it and its stories, we wouldn’t be having the time of our lives right now. I wish them luck on this little venture. Hopefully, they come up with something as awesome as DC’s Dark Knights Metal. Transformers Overhaul Meanwhile, in the world of transforming robots, Michael Bay’s film franchise is up for a reboot. Should we be happy with this? After the dismal performance of Transformers: The Last Knight, we should be. Transformers: The Last Knight is definitely the worst Transformers film since Revenge of the Fallen. Though it’s sad to know that there won’t be a cinematic follow-up to the Last Knight to completely wrap up the story we’ve wasted our time on since 2007. The only follow-up to it would be the Bumblebee prequel that’s currently shooting. After the poor performance of the Last film, Michael Bay will be stepping away from the director’s chair. Maybe he himself is already tired of filming the franchise because Last Knight was all over the place. It’s a terrible waste of talent of Sir Anthony Hopkins. The franchise itself is not yet out of steam with Hasbro continuing to launch toy lines and Machinima producing some G1-based web series. While I love Machinima’s generation one robots, it’s stories have much to be desired. Combiner Wars and Titans Return are based on hit IDW Publishing Transformers storylines that birthed Hasbro toy lines of the same name. Perhaps the next good Transformers film should be an animated one. It probably wouldn’t hurt as the best Transformers movie continues to be 1986’s Transformers: The Movie. What critics call a 90-minute rubout commercial has become much-elevated due to the bad taste brought about by Michael Bay’s films. Transformers fans continue to watch this classic wishing that something similar would come out, or simply justifying it as the best, giving Michael Bay the middle finger because a decades-old cartoon still bests the director’s multi-million dollar beasts. We Transformers fans now have a problem as to what stories or how to bring Transformers to the modern audience. Many want to see their favorite G1 incarnations come to life, looking much like their cartoon counterparts instead of the inconsistent, indiscernible pieces of metal Michael Bay pushes out. If so, the new film series could be a 1980s period piece much like the hit Netflix series Stranger Things. The film will please Transformers fans old and new as the period will fascinate the majority millennial audience and show off the beautiful-looking period vehicles. Hopefully, Volkswagen cooperates this time to finally give us a Volkswagen Beetle. Oh right, that’s what the Bumblebee prequel is supposed to look like now. Maybe there should be fewer humans this time as it’s the continuing complaint of all of Michael Bay’s films. The first episode of the G1 cartoon showcased only the robots where Spike and his dad only appeared at the end of the first episode. That’s entirely possible within the new film’s first hour. Spike will then play a mere supporting role for the rest of the film. The humans’ main role would be just to run away screaming while the Decepticons steal energy from power plants and to fail spectacularly while defending said plants. The Autobots meanwhile explore the planet and trying to decide whether they should stay and defend it. There’s plenty of ideas to throw around, hopefully, better than Michael Bay’s creative team of Michael Bay, Michael Bay, and Michael Bay. Poor guy has had enough trashing, and that is not my nature. We are thankful for the guy for rejuvenating this almost dead franchise, but it’s time for another rejuvenation. Time for a renewal, an escape from the convolution of stories and metal parts. Best of luck to the Transformers reboot. It will be very difficult to top the 1986 Transformers: The Movie.

Movie TV Tech Geeks News

#Chris Hemsworth #Featured #Marvel #MCU #Michael Bay #Thom Hilldeston #Tranformers

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its-just-like-the-movies · 8 years ago

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Date Night!: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Back when the swell fella who would become my boyfriend and I were in one of those strange middle grounds where we were on our way to becoming a couple and very, very aware of it, our first sort-of-date was when Tommy invited me to go see Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice on its opening night. I, of course, accepted, somewhat reluctantly. I can’t remember if I was expecting the film to be good or bad, though I’m sure before then some of its abysmal reviews had been public. I was also nervous about the whole “oh my god this is probably sort of a date isn’t it”, especially since at the time I didn’t know him all that well. This would be the first of many dates at Ze Cinemah, although after this we’d be perfectly, happily aware that they were all dates. Even better, I think, is our immediate discussions after the film is over, and how eager we are to talk about it and discuss what we’ve just seen. We’ve seen plenty of films together, and maybe I’ll talk about other ones we’ve seen someday, but I can already feel a pit in my stomach drop at having to talk about this stinking pile of steamingness. All said, Batman v Superman is one of those truly atrocious films, like The Judge or The Danish Girl, that works like so much manure and makes me start sparking and frothing with how horrible they were. It’s an energizer more than it is a depressive, though it for sure is both, and there is one thing about our date in particular that haunts me every day. It’s not even something the film did, but something I did, or almost did, but could have done more of. Something that perhaps could have changed the screening for the whole theater, or as Anthony Hopkins keeps saying in the trailers for the new Transformers movies “change the tide of human history itself”. I wonder about it every day and every night, as I sleep and as I wake, and especially as a type this story to you, The Void, and now I must share the tale of my screening of Batman vs Superman with you to get it of my chest, to free myself, and to see where the tides of human history itself shall take me. Also: I’m going to be very mean to this film, and am very not interested in hearing about how wrong I am from random eggs as I and many others I know have been on Twitter. I hate it, don’t care if you love it, for fuck’s sake leave me alone.

It didn’t take the two of us long to find a pair of seats, though we immediately moved to the row behind us because our view was partially blocked by the structure of the stairwell. We warned the couple who ended up taking those seats about it, though I can’t remember if they moved too. And the film starts. Zack Snyder has the gall to open the film by reminding us that Batman’s parents died in front of him during a robbery gone wrong. He also seemingly cannot hire Jeffrey Dean Morgan to do much beyond die in the openings of his films, though I remember he had more to do in Watchmen. The visual of Martha’s(!!!) pearl necklace snapping in the gun’s safety as the trigger is pulled is sort of fascinating but also pretty grotesque, all things considered. Batffleck is saying something, though I cannot remember what. We see the funeral, little Bruce running into the woods in sadness during the procession, only to fall into a well or pit or some such hole in the ground. The score, I’m sure, was going crazy.

And then, it happens. Baby Bruce is levitated out the pit by seemingly hundreds of bats flying around him like a tornado, floating him towards the light. This is how we are abruptly told that this is a dream sequence, and reader, I laughed. Not the cackle it deserved, but I couldn’t stop it from escaping completely. I chuckled, giggled, whatever; I’m pretty sure Tommy hit me on the arm to calm me down and get me stop but I’m not quite sure. The giggle is what counts, though, and it haunts me. What if I had just burst out laughing at a moment that the whole theater was palpably flummoxed by? Batffleck wakes up but I am still reeling from the horseshit prologue we have been subjected to. It is not the most nonsensical thing we are going to see in this movie. It is not even the least plot-relevant indulgence that Zack Snyder will take us through, nor the least inexplicable jump of energy or plot logic that we’ll be forced to sit through. Academy Award winner Holly Hunter will be forced to stare dramatically, in close-up, to a jar of piss before she and dozens of other people are killed in an assassination plot meant to frame Superman, whose own close up registers at the subtle, bottomless despair and discomfort of sitting on the can and realizing you’re not quite done shitting, except Henry Cavill also registers as remarkably bored. Jeremy Irons reads every line as Alfred Pennyworth with such bitchy, subtly nasty inflections that I actually found the character an unwelcome presence, though if anyone found this a life raft of something enjoyable happening on screen, particularly Irons, then by all means savor him. Amy Adams will throw a Kryptonite spear into an underwater pile of rubble and, with no indication that Lois Lane has been told why the heroes need it to vanquish the rock monster that is Doomsday, dives into the water and nearly drowns recovering it. Batman slaughters - in fact, he often guns down - dozens of criminals on screen, brands sex offenders, had one montage that’s just him training to become even beefier and another, completely bizarre dream sequence that may also be a warning from another dimension’s Flash where Superman is technically Hitler, and Barry Allen screams about Lois Lane before Batffleck wakes up at his desk, which is meant to convey that this May Have Been A Dream Or Is It Ooooooh. This scene has no narrative impact and is never referenced again, though it is not as patently stupid as is the sight of Superman, wielding that Kryptonite spear, deciding to kamikaze himself by killing Doomsday with the knowledge that he cannot survive any assault the giant may bring on him while he is in such close proximity to said spear, ignoring the two superheroes who have been helping him fight Doomsday this whole time.

There are plenty of other absurd, delicious, amazingly shitty one-offs. Michael Shannon is credited for appearing in the film for the three seconds General Zod’s corpse floats in the remains of his spaceship. The President of the United States decides to nuke Superman in the middle of his fight with Doomsday after the latter threw the Man of Steel into the Earth’s orbit (a safe enough distance to nuke him, I suppose). Diane Lane is duck taped and tied to a chair, threatened to be burned alive as Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor throws photos of her with “Witch” written on her face, and all of this is tied into some mythological asinine crap that is Luthor’s motivation for wanting to kill Superman and create Doomsday in the first place. Eisenberg spends the whole film as some combination of Edward Nygma and a meth addict’s impersonation of Heath Ledger’s Joker, and it is by far the biggest trainwreck in the whole film. I think I also resisted laughing once “MARTHA!!???!?!?!?!!!” happened but in truth, I blocked that out of my memory. The sheer joy of seeing Wonder Woman, and hearing the score come alive as she roars into battle, literally, at some points, is all that is keeping me from giving this film an F grade, though perhaps I just can’t rate an Amy Adams film that low. Gal Gadot is at least enjoying herself, which is in even bigger contrast to the stark constipation that Cavill and Ben Affleck are constantly exuding. The film has ideas about literal hero worship, about what Superman could mean or stand for, and wants to have real conversations about his necessity, but it jerry-rigs them through Christic imagery and working hard to undermine the criticisms of genuine challengers and the critics themselves. Bruce’s hatred and suspicion of the Man of Steel seems completely arbitrary, banking on the fear of Superman turning on humanity in spite of his big coming-out party as a global entity being the eradication of his home species for the sake of mankind. Horrific as the collateral damage was, it’s not in line with anything Superman does in the film, is shown as doing, or is framed as doing by Synder himself, who doesn’t pretend for a moment that there’s actually anything wrong with Superman. He’s content to make the man a misunderstood martyr, a golden boy whose death inspires the formation of The Justice League and the warming up of Batman’s glacial, inherently distrusting heart. Superman is basically fridged on behalf of Bruce Wayne, and it’s clumsily executed as Smallville himself is.

There are so many vile, absurd, abstracted, unnecessary, horrific moments in this film and yet, I still wonder how much that night would’ve changed had I actually burst out laughing at the beginning of the film. What would’ve changed for the whole theater if some jackass sitting hear the back-left had cackled as a small child is literally lifted out of a scene the filmgoing public had seen at least seventy-eight million times by now, one that kicks off an indefensibly ghastly excuse for a Hollywood spectacle lit worse than even the lowest budge episode of The X-Files and colored like it’s scared that bright shades will deflate how Dour and Serious this Cinematic Experience is? Recounting many of the set pieces I’ve already mentioned back to my sister afterwards I couldn’t help cackling at some of them, though I did so far more angrily with Tommy immediately after, baffled not just that I had paid for this film but that it even existed, that anybody who made this gigantic dumpster fire thought that it was in any way a competently crafted, psychologically or emotionally coherent picture. Could we, as a crowd, as a community, have laughed at this horseshit for what it was? I love that in horror movies the audience always make the pact with itself that fine, this is a lot, you deserve a good scream. This picture was even more upsetting, and perhaps if I’d laughed, having taken the piss out of it so goddamn early, we wouldn’t have had to just sit there and take it. We could’ve fought back and laughed at it (with it?), openly railed against it, or just fucking not be quiet throughout this whole ordeal. I will always be haunted by this inaction on my part, and to this day it shames me.

He did try to defend parts of it, but not much, and for sure stole my comments about how Eisenberg wasn’t even playing Lex Luthor when we starting talking about the film to our RA Josh and fellow hallmate Dylan in the hall that same night. Josh peddled the theory that Marvel people had paid off critics to hate on DC’s live-action features, which I challenged by asking why Marvel would even need to do that. It’s not even that DC’s films are so drastically worse than any of Marvel’s features, but Marvel at least has a brand formula at work. Their knock is never that their bad, just predictable and uninspired, though they’ve been getting a little better at going against both those counts lately, with the Guardians films at least. And I will say this for Batman v Superman: It’s awfulness has staked a far larger claim on my mental landscape than The Avengers or Deadpool or most Marvel fare ever has. I liked Man of Steel fine, was particularly impressed by the early minimalism in portraying Superman’s powers, especially his x-ray vision, and was even playing devil’s advocate with family members I saw it with. I’m semi-interested to return to it, but not passionately so. You for sure couldn’t call this film formulaic, perhaps unworthy of all the bombast it’s applying to itself but worthy of notice the way a burning car is, or how Jeff Goldblum and Laura Dern are seemingly in awe of that giant pile of shit in Jurassic Park. As dubious as literally every aspect of this film is, the sheer magnitude of its awfulness is compelling in such a way that I became anticipatory of the film’s eventual Rifftrax takedown as I was watching it. I don’t know how soon into it this idea started, but once Amy Adams dived in to get that spear I could already hear the befuddled joke about Lois Lane: Plot Psychic that Kevin Murphy would probably hurl at the screen, and it made this mess a little bit better.

All things being honest, I am absolutely going to see Justice League with my boyfriend, though I wonder how much more excited he is than I am. I loathed Suicide Squad but thought it was so poorly edited I stopped caring and would up having something of an okay time, appreciating Margot Robbie trying to find a character in Harley Quinn and relishing that Viola Davis actively seemed to want to be there a little as I did. Of course I’ve seen Wonder Woman, a step above most recent DC efforts in that it’s compelling, competently told and emotionally resonant, though it really shows Gadot isn’t much of an actress. There’s a lot about it I questioned in the moment but I am so, so appreciative of Wonder Woman as a film that exists, and one I mostly enjoyed seeing even as I actively wished for a better version of the film while I was watching it. Maybe I should just not see these given how much I end up railing against these projects, but I love watching movies with my guy (who I also love) and they are great conversation fodder. Plus, we watch lots of better movies together! Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice was the first of many, many delightful date night movies, and we weren’t even dating yet! My guy was easily the best part of the film, though it’d be a discredit to it say that it wasn’t a memorable experience, future boyfriend or no. I truly hope I never see it again, at least not sober, but I got a great story out of it, and a great man too, which is more than a lot of movies have ever given me. And at the end of the day, it’s that the biggest reward a person could get? It’s not like this makes Batman v Superman anything more than a gray, ugly, violent, gross, despicable, unpleasant, misogynistic, time-wasting, utterly horrendous, steaming pile of shit. But hey, it counts for something.

#my posts #my reviews #tommy #batman v superman #dc #2016

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