#bruce actually sucks at cooking

[staggersz]

how would you rank them from worst to best cooking skills? I like this ranking thing, it’s fun

I love this question AAAA and im glad u like rankings and lists!! :3

Bruce is 100% the worst. mf cant cook for SHIIIIIT. does he still sometimes cook anyway? yes, absolutely

Billy also can’t really cook, and he’s scared he’s gonna set stuff on fire 😭

Amy is like. mediocre at cooking I would think. She likes when other people cook for her though :)

Gwen like passes the line of mediocre. With terrence being black out drunk sometimes, she and Finn have to cook for theirselves

Donna is good at cooking things, and I think she’d like making treats for her friends and family to enjoy :')

I think Finney would have good cooking skills. He still wants to learn some stuff, and it isn’t his STRONGEST skill but he’s still good at it

Griffin can cook really well, especially with Bonnie teaching him recipes and giving him home made food all the time, he has a good concept about food

Vance is second best. With Bonnie teaching him how to cook + having to cook for himself when he had to go to his dad’s, he has some pretty good cooking skills under his belt

Robin sits at the top with probably the best cooking skills out of all of them, so naturally, they’re all asking if they can have stuff if there’s leftovers of the stuff he makes. His mom taught him a lot, and he still has her recipe book even after she passed, so he’s still learning. He likes doing it a lot also :)

[captain-marble]

silly thought that i’ve been rotating at might write someday (although knowing me…)

anyways!

someone gets mad and pranks the justice league by releasing clips of their embarrassing moments on tower (nothing that could reveal identities but still embarrassing)

it’s stuff like marvel failing at cooking

batman being sleep deprived and trying to parent different league members (namely marvel)

flash running into walls and things (a lot)

superman being afraid of a shoe and litterally leaping into the air to get away from it. (it was green)

anyways everyone find this hillarious and the members are a lil mortified. But fawcett takes it into their own hands to give marvel food (litterally he has too much food to know what to do with) to the point he ends up like going around sharing it with the homeless kids and stuff

not only that but the league decide to take it into their own hands to teach marvel. cut to videos being released of marvel learning to cook with different leaguers

superman: marv can you pass me a rolling pin? so what you’ve got to do is-

marvel looking at a pot of utensils questioning…. before tentatively holding out a masher: ?

superman: (blinks)

supes probably teaches him how to make apple pie and talk about how if you don’t use the sugar you can use the pie crust to make savoury pies too and blah blah life hack. his parents probably mean he’s the worst offender for trying to shove food or recipes onto marvel

hal and barry prolly teach him how to make like single guy with a shitty job type grind shit that’s like carb loaded and you can just bulk make and store ands got everything you need (cuz they always busy as hell and ain’t rich or anything so don’t got the time or stuff to make tons of food) (it kinda looks like struggle food but yk it gets them through)

hal: so yeah you just dump everything in and if it starts to look radioactive then you know it’s cooked-

billy ‘orphan street rat will eat anything’ batson: damn bitch you live like this? /silly

diana teaches him a greek dish from her childhood that she thinks marvel would feel nostalgic for (i mean billy doesn’t but he remembers eating it in past lives and the thought diana put into it really comforts him)

bruce either a) refuses to teach marvel anything as he himself cannot cook and won’t let the work know that (as all of these cooking videos have been being leaked to the internet who are EATING IT UP like it’s not just fawcett anymore everyone loves cap now becuase you can tell he’s just that authentic cuz his ass does not know these are being filmed) b) cannot cook so it ends up just being a hot mess c) they learn to make a new recipe together d) he has alfred teach him how to make something so he doesn’t embarrass himself e) he teaches marvel how to make struggle food that’s worse than hal and barry’s

marvel: aren’t you funded by a billionaire?

batman: hm

marvel: batman….damn bitch you live like this???????????

everyone just dogs on batman online for like banging bruce wayne (no one believes that the butts match :/ ) and yet still being ass at cooking, like bro is at nuclear levels of damn you live like this with his struggle food

anyways cap finds out about the cooking with cap vids and immediately gets all embarrassed that people know he sucks at cooking, fawcett lay off a little on giving him food now they know that the JL are helping him, but he regularly receives copies of old cook books and someone’s nans favourite recipe and stuff and he’s taking home enough food from the JL to actually eat well and is therefore a lot happier and so the JL are like wow marv really likes cooking, and so at least like once a week (usually more) someone (or sometimes just he will) will cook with him and he’ll take home the left overs (if people eat any otherwise he just takes it all himself (despite him frantically offering the food out to people cuz he feels bad for taking so much))

years later when the identity reveal happens they’re like wow??? this makes so much sense???? i’m so glad we’ve been inadvertently feeding the homeless child??? yippee for him not starving and being more healthy that he would’ve been????

but yeah it’s so silly and i think billy would actually love having the chance to eat foods he’s never had before, especially where he spent so long on the streets that he kinda was forced to like ration and buy cheap food, so like he’s being treated by trying new foods and risking not liking it and stuff

but yeah i just think cap cooking and baking is neat teehee

[caratheewriter]

Controversially Young ~ Matt Smith x fem! actress smau

Synopsis: You were recently cast as Bruce Wayne's love interest, which everyone adores, Selina Kyle. The age gap though, has some in a tizzy.

Warning(s): sexist comments, big age gap

Rating(s): NC-17

Word Count: 694

Actress Y/n L/n Cast alongside Matt Smith in upcoming Batman Movie

Here's what you need to know about Zack Snyder’s new project...

~~~

y/nl/n

now wait just a meowment...

are you going to see Batman (2024)?

see comments

charliebushnell y/n we've talked abt this

↪️ y/nl/n I couldn't help ittttt

user420 still have no idea how they could subject you to this

↪️ user2 subject her to what

↪️ user420 working with someone twice her age

hater2 be honest... whose d*ck did you suck to get this role?

↪️ hater34 probably Matt's

~~~

y/nl/n

Press paws and live in the meow!

trash007 if I were Matt, I'd hit

↪️ trash006 same

user360 y'all are gross up in these comments

↪️ trash56 if she didn't want these comments, she wouldn’t have auditioned for CATWOMAN

↪️ trash001 the sexist dc character to exist

user49 I could never work with someone twice my age, I'd be scared

↪️ user86 y/n's worked with Matt before I think she knows how he is

batman2024 we love our bat and cat

leahsavajefferies as purr-ty as a picture

↪️ charliebushnell no! no puns

↪️ diorgoodjohn these puns are hissterical

↪️ y/nl/n lol

~~~

Y/n L/n talks Catwoman, DC, and new interests

by Young Hollywood

Interviewer: Hello Readers! Today I am joined by one of these most known young actresses of our generation, Y/n L/n! Thank you for being here.

Y/n: Thank you for inviting me. I love doing interviews.

Interviewer: So, how have you been?

Y/n: I've been good. Doing a lot of filming for Batman, catching up with old friends, trying to up my instagram game. I've gotten into videography, shooting mini vlogs and cooking videos.

Interviewer: Sounds fun! I love that! Is there any insight into the movie that you can give us?

Y/n: Sure! If any of you were wondering, this is going to be very different from any portrayal of Batman and Catwoman that you've seen or read. Obviously because Selina Kyle is a lot younger than Bruce in this adaptation which is a plot within itself. This Selina, and because she is younger, her story has changed, is a street rat or stray cat. She lives on the streets, and her story in this, is similar to that of her portrayal in the show, Gotham. She meets Bruce as she is trying pickpocket off him out in the open. Then, it goes from there.

Interviewer: Wow! That certainly is a must-watch. Now, I hate to get deep all of a sudden, but have you seen the comments regarding your casting?

Y/n: Yes, I have actually. A lot of them are for disgusting middle-aged men, so I don't really bother with them. I knew what I was getting into when I auditioned.

Interviews: You also get to work with Matt Smith again. Did you know that he was casted as Bruce or did you find out after you got the call?

Y/n: You know what's funny? Zack told me that Matt told him not to tell me. So, I didn't know until our table read!

Interviewer: Oh my god! What?!

Y/n: Yeah! And I hadn't seen him in so long that I almost jumped across the table to hug him.

Interviews: Aw!

Y/n: A lot of people also would say that they felt bad for me because I'm the love interest to someone twice my age, but I've known Matt for a long time. He worked with my father in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I played young Rhaena in House of the Dragon. He's a family friend, a beloved friend. I trust him.

Y/n: I understand the public's concerns though. I did just turn 24 earlier this year. The age gap is big, but it is strictly for storytelling purposes.

Interviews: There you have it. I loved talking with you today.

Y/n: I always look forward to interviews with you. Big fan.

Interviewer: Big fan of you too! Any last words?

Y/n: Go see Batman in theaters near you coming this December!

fin.

I tried my best.

[suzukiblu]

Day four of fic NaNoWriMo, obligatory sugar daddy Tim/sugar baby Kon AU.

"Dead," Tim says, because it's not like it's a secret in the community or anything. "Joker happened to him."

And a lot of other things. Sheila Haywood and Felipe Garzonas and Bruce's eternal control-freak paranoia and constant inability to just talk, to name a few. But Joker, in the end.

Still, Tim can't help thinking about the chances to have avoided what happened to Jason. Especially when thinking about what's currently happening to Kon.

If Kon gets taken advantage of or hurt or killed because no one's paying enough attention . . .

Tim takes another drink.

"That sucks," Kon says with a grimace. "No wonder Batman goes all weird mama Bat on you all the time."

Tim chokes on an incredulous laugh and also a mouthful of soda, because Bruce is definitely not that and this isn't something to make light of either, but–

But also, he thinks about how no one ever goes "weird mama Bat" on Kon. No one ever has, as far as he knows.

No one takes care of him at all.

Tim really, really doesn't like that. Kon shouldn't have to rely on working for people who think they can build custom-designed personal-use superheroes based off of stolen dead bodies and are constantly making clones that are just inhuman-looking enough to not be able to blend into society outside the lab, and therefore don't have a choice about where they live or what they do with their lives.

Maybe it's not as bad as it sounds, or at least not as malicious as it sounds, but it's still the results of what Cadmus is doing either way. Kon has the option of being a superhero, at least, but he also has a custom-designed face that looks exactly like the face of one of the most famous heroes in the sector and was given absolutely no idea how to either establish or support a civilian life, so that's just about his only option.

Aside from, again, just working for Cadmus for the rest of his life.

Tim definitely hates the world.

"Please don't call it 'going mama Bat'," he says to distract himself.

"Please tell me what else you'd call it," Kon says.

"Micromanaging," Tim replies matter-of-factly, and Kon chokes on a laugh of his own.

"What, is being Robin your after-school job?" he teases. Technically it is, Tim supposes, but he doesn't exactly think of it that way.

"I consider it more of an unpaid internship," he says, since explaining the whole "emotional support sidekick" thing would probably damage Bruce's Bat-mystique, and if he tells Kon the full story there he's basically telling all of Young Justice. Kon barely seems to understand the concept of secrets, much less the concept of keeping them. "Like I get an expense account but not a paycheck, you know? And sometimes we get cookies in the Batcave."

"Cookies. In the Batcave," Kon echoes, his eyebrows shooting up. "Are they bat-shaped?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," Tim replies with a pleasant smile. Alfred doesn't usually bother with anything quite that on the nose, but according to Dick there are Halloween cookie cutters in the kitchen that he's not above bringing out when Bruce has been being especially ridiculous, so . . .

"Oh my god," Kon says delightedly. "Does he make them himself? Is there a Bat-apron? A Bat-oven? Or does he just order them special from the Bat-bakery?"

"There is not a Bat-bakery," Tim says, trying not to laugh again. Goddammit, Kon shouldn't be so fucking funny all the time. He's not even that funny, objectively; Tim is just a smitten idiot.

"So there is a Bat-apron?" Kon says with a smirk.

"I plead the fifth," Tim says, since explaining the novelty Halloween apron Jason bought Alfred when he was thirteen is not actually on the table. Details compromise identities, loose lips sink ships; all that.

"Listen, man, Cadmus doesn't have a bakery unless you count the test tubes they cook us up in," Kon says with a snigger, grabbing himself another slice. Tim thinks thoughts about incendiary devices. "They buy our cookies frozen or just get the industrial-sized pudding cans. Or make bread pudding, the bastards. So you gotta tell me about the Bat-cookies."

Tim winces at the thought of industrial-sized pudding cans and bread pudding, because that sounds absolutely horrifying and he never, ever wants to taste industrial pudding. Ever.

"Well, they're definitely not frozen," he says. "But Nightwing started being Robin a lot younger than I did and the last Robin started younger than me too, so I think I'm just reaping the benefits of younger kids needing after-patrol snacks and everyone else getting in the habit of it."

"I could get into that habit," Kon says musingly as he tears a bite off his newest slice. Tim immediately resolves to order takeout after every possible Young Justice mission that he can. Or they could go get ice cream or something, he doesn't know. "What do you think, wanna make me Bat-cookies sometime, Rob?"

Every weekend for the rest of their respective lives, although Tim would never actually say that. He's not even a good baker. He doesn't even like to bake.

This crush is definitely a problem.

"You're not Gothamite enough to handle Bat-baking, Kon," Tim says dryly, and Kon sniggers.

He also ducks his head a little, looking . . . oddly soft, for a moment. Tim doesn't understand why, until he realizes–oh. It's because he just called him "Kon", isn't it. He wasn't even thinking about it; just did it reflexively.

Tim is pretty sure he needs to ruin the credit of every single "responsible" adult in Kon's life for not naming him sooner. Well–Dubbilex can have a pass, considering he was also made by Cadmus and his own name is Dubbilex, so it probably never occurred to him that "Superboy" wasn't a perfectly acceptable name. And also he probably doesn't have credit either. But all the rest of them, definitely and for sure.

Superman is getting an envelope of powdered Kryptonite in his fucking mailbox, to start. Or maybe Tim could aerosolize it and pepper-spray him with it. That might work.

"You don't know, I could be," Kon huffs, putting on a mock-offended expression. "I was born and raised in a lab, I'm way tougher than the average guy."

"A Metropolis lab," Tim says pityingly. "Might as well be a kindergarten science class."

"Oh fuck you, Batboy!" Kon protests with a laugh. "Tell that to the next alien invasion."

"Aliens know better than to invade Gotham," Tim says. Kon laughs again. It's–weirdly nice, honestly. Usually Kon's too busy trying to act cool in front of whatever "audience" he thinks they have to actually, like . . . just talk all that much or anything. And also usually he gets offended really easily or starts being annoying about something he doesn't know as much as he thinks he does about or just . . . something.

Tim admittedly is less and less annoyed and more and more endeared by that kind of stupid behavior these days, but still. It's the usual pattern their interactions follow.

He guesses they're actually just, like, hanging out right now. It's not like there's a bad guy or a crisis or even any teammates around or training to do, so . . .

Yeah. He guesses they're just hanging out.

Kon decimates the pizza and wings, Tim pretends to be helping and takes a few mental notes on how much Kon is eating and what that may or may not say about his required caloric intake, and they just kind of keep . . . hanging out, really. And they talk, at least as much as Tim lightly interrogating Kon and subtly evading providing any personal identifying information counts as "talking".

Tim really doesn't know if the guys at school or Young Justice are more authentically his "friends", at this point, but at least Young Justice knows there are things they don't know. Everyone from school . . .

Not so much, with them. They all only know Tim Drake, and none of them have any reason to suspect the existence of Robin. Young Justice only knows Robin, but at least they know there is a Tim Drake somewhere, whether they know him or not.

Maybe they are the ones who are more his friends, thinking of it that way.

It'd explain why things never really go anywhere with civilians and he's developed this stupid inadvisable crush on Kon, at least. Though not why things fizzled with Steph, since she knows Robin better than anyone in Young Justice. If he should be having a stupid inadvisable crush on anyone, at least it could've been someone with an equally stupid and inadvisable crush on him.

Unfortunately, he and Steph have officially friend-zoned each other and also Kon exists, so Tim is having his stupid inadvisable crush on an alien hybrid metahuman clone in a terrible living situation with stupid taste in sunglasses and a mysteriously infinite-seeming supply of leather jackets. So now Tim is in this situation and his supervillain timeline needs recalculated, and also he's going to be buying Young Justice so much takeout to make sure Kon gets to eat something that isn't cafeteria food in a way he won't get offended by.

Hopefully, anyway.

"Well, I'm glad the new job's working out," Tim comments eventually, after some very careful conversational maneuvering, and Kon . . . pauses.

"I guess," he says after a moment, picking olives off the remains of his current slice and not quite looking at him as he says it. Tim resists the urge to absolutely pounce on the blood in the water and makes himself wait. "I mean, it's fine, it's not like it's bad there. Like, I don't love that it's my only real option and I don't love the same lab that made me out of DNA that it literally got out of a literal grave being in charge of me, but it's not like Westfield's still running the place or anything. So like, could be worse."

Tim hates the world. All of it. Seriously. Alfred's snickerdoodles get an exception and that's it. Nothing else.

"I'm sure it'll all work out," he says, because yeah, he officially needs to actually do something about this. He doesn't know what something, but something. If he doesn't, who else is going to?

Kon puts on a fake grin and says something stupid and easy in reply, the comment lighthearted and dismissive and a screamingly obvious coping strategy from someone who doesn't see any way out of their current situation but through, and Tim . . .

Tim finishes his Zesti and starts to think.

[i-yap]

Hello here another request from Dick Grayson. I hope you are well and that you are not putting pressure on yourself with these requests, sleep well.

Could you write something about Dick's Girlfriend who is an artist 🎨 she went to university and graduated with a degree in Literature or something like that she is like an artistic soul she writes, plays the piano, paints maybe she knows a little about ballet [she is just as flexible than Dick] and speaks several languages. Maybe Dick convinced her not to "work" [on a schedule for someone else] so they could spend more time together and so she wouldn't fill her little head with things like forced labor or bills. He covers all expenses and more. He spoils us too much. ...it also makes it so that you focus only on your art out of passion, writing, painting, playing music, learning to play the guitar 🎸 just because you want to and have the time.

and on the nights when he has patrol you go out with your friends "Sex And The City" style.

You also learn to cook in the huge kitchen of their shared apartment and he tries everything you make, he also cooks for you (sometimes) you also do a Skincare routine for him and he loves to smell just like us.

Dick Grayson x artist!y/n

man has money, I can see bruce paying all his vigilante children and he got alfred's billion plus man is the best detective at the pd .

So how could you expect him to not feel sorry for his -pretty but stressed overworked surrounded by idiots who don't know art having to commercialize herself and loosing her sense of style and art because of the nonsense requests of her bosses -gf. Your pain is his pain after all.

You know you are very creative I mean- your ballet could give grayson a run for his money. You have always been talented, drawn to the creative arts. But here you are stuck being a designer for a corporate job. AND IT SUCKS BALLS.

The boss keeps asking you to design templates and after designing 3 boring asf template she's like yea that fine now just do content. But even the content cant be fun or innovative. It has to be corporate and easily consumable and its just so dumb like let ai do it and why even hire you if she wants you to do the labor that is just ctrl c ctrl v LIKE FUCKK

And your creativity is dyinggg. you cant remember the last time you picked up a paintbrush and you loved art. Now you're loosing a sense of self and you don't even know if any of this is worth it. WHY NOT BE A BARISTA?? AND DO ART ON THE SIDE...CUZ OF THIS FUCKING ECONOMY. ONLY THE RICH CAN BE ARTISTS ONLY THE RICH AHHHH

(sorry this turned into a little self vent ahem ahem)

anyways dick sees your talent and he sees your pain and...he wont take no for an answer.

So here you are, live in girlfriend , but he calls you an investment whenever you feel down because dick is paying for both of you.

So other than art, you make him food. And he makes you food too dw girlie but you do it out of passion of trying out new recipes .

You go out and teach students dance at underfunded public schools and perform without contracts...just for the love of performing or focus on writing a book.

You spend the day focusing on your passions and build up your skill, having a loving supportive boyfriend.

Dick is really busy with detective work then as Nightwing so you spend the alone time focusing on your work rather than being distracted by your pretty boyfriend...that too actually.

And with this amazing man by your side, you have plenty motivation.

SO when you do become a hit, No one is prouder than Mr grayson here who believed in his girl all along.

and If you don't? you can always start a small art school, language school or ballet school. There is no lack of talents

And with such a talented gf , dick has the perfect trophy wife who he loves very very much. You are the talk of every gala, you accompany him on business meets (language skills and art is universally needed) and honestly dick couldn't ask for more!

In modern society its now believed that the only way to get self respect is to be a working woman. Why cant we stop telling woman to be something? Staying at home, raising or not raising kids, focusing on your passion and loving your husband ( future husband too) is just as acceptable as going to work( if you can find a man like dick ofc). you do work hard, you did have a degree or not depending on your circumstances and you are genuinely working towards your goals. And dick comforts you in it. He sees your passion he sees your talent and more than that he loves you so no matter what, he's supporting you through this journey.

I am actually writing a batboys skincare thing which ill post over the weekend. Im sorry this turned into a personal rant. Im working two jobs and studying 3 courses while preparing to start university..so this hit a little close to home . What I would do to have a dick grayson just marry me and let me focus on my passion rather than juggling various stuff. This blog is maybe the only thing I do for myself..which is sad cuz I had a lot of hobbies. Anyways ...hope this didn't suck too much.

[froggibus]

Valentine's Day HCs - Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Duke Thomas, platonic! Damian Wayne

Includes: Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Duke Thomas and platonic! Damian Wayne

Summary: how your fave batfam member would treat you on valentine's day

CW: gn! reader, some are a little ooc cause its my first time writing them, fluff and sweetness all around, dames is strictly platonic!!!

another part to my valentine's hcs!! if you guys enjoyed this, consider checking out some of the other ones!

Valentine's 2023 Masterlist

————

Bruce Wayne:

probably one of the only nights you can actually convince him to take a break and pay attention to you

(read: Alfred would ground him for weeks if he forgot to do something nice for you)

leaves you a big gift box on your bed stuffed with fancy tissue paper and a little card 

it just says ‘wear me’ and when you unwrap it it’s a super formal outfit 

Bruce doesn’t tell you where he’s taking you until he shows up at your house in one of his cars, holding a dozen roses 

he ends up taking you to his private airstrip in Gotham 

he flies you to Monaco and takes you to a restaurant you always wanted to try!! 

and since you’re away from Gotham, the press isn’t even bothering you

after dinner, he takes you to a nice speakeasy for drinks and dessert 

he even turns his phone off so that he can focus on you 100%

you guys stay the night in a penthouse suite above Monaco 

“I know I don’t always have a lot of time for you, but I hope you know that I do really love you.”

Dick Grayson:

this man is CHEESY I’m sorry 

like he goes all out and he’s not even embarrassed about it 

probably asks you to be his Valentine in like a cute promposal-esque way

he’s somewhere between between Bruce and Jason on Valentine’s plans 

like he doesn’t want to go all out to all these fancy places, but he doesn’t want to just do a date at home 

so he ends up taking you ice skating!! 

(unrelated but I HC him as a really good figure skater)

holds your hands the whole time and does like some cutesy couples skate 

also he definitely shows off what a good skater he is and does some cool gymnastics moves 

after skating, you guys go through a walk through the park 

he takes you to get some yummy street food and hot chocolate too 

“Thanks for always sticking out the good and the bad with me, y/n. Whenever you’re with me, I feel like there’s nothing I can’t do.”

Jason Todd:

I feel like this man is secretly super romantic 

he doesn’t really like big crowds and don’t even get him started at fancy restaurants where the portion is way too small 

also he’s a big softie so he probably plans something super intimate for you guys

picks up a copy of his favourite book and annotates his favorite passages 

and writes little stories and things he loves about you in the margins 

he invites you over to his place to cook dinner for you

has a playlist of your favorite music playing while he cooks

definitely something super yummy and comforting!! 

he gives you the book after dinner while he waits for dessert to be done

you guys eat dessert and cuddle on the couch and talk about books and movies 

he would definitely dance with you in the living room too!

like cute dorky dancing where you stand on his feet and just kinda sway around the room 

“I’m pretty sure you know how I feel about people, but y/n? You make me think not everyone is so bad.”

Tim Drake:

he is definitely the type to not care about Valentine’s Day 

anytime someone brings it up he has to go on this tangent about how it’s not a real holiday 

however, if his partner cares about it, he can put his own feelings behind him and suck it up for the day

definitely stays up for several days trying to plan out a perfect for you guys

but since he’s so tired he ends up sleeping in past when he’s supposed to pick you up :((

you don’t mind tho because Tim sleeping is a gift in itself lmfao 

he scrambles to get ready and picks you up not much later than he was supposed to 

he takes you to a super cute video game cafe 

you guys get some yummy drinks and cute little heart shaped cookies and snacks 

and then you guys hop on the computers to play some games!! 

he probably plays some fun little coop games with you so that you can actually spend quality time together 

takes you home and you guys just relax on the couch and watch tv 

(Tim definitely watches Criminal Minds and relates a little too much to Spencer Reid)

“I know I said I don’t really care about Valentines and honestly I don’t but I know you do and I know it’s not a lot but I just really wanted to give you the date you deserve.”

Stephanie Brown:

this is HER holiday 

like it might as well be St Steph Day

she has MAJOR plans for the two of you

and she definitely asks you to her Valentine with this cute little homemade Valentine she made just for you

she brings her camera with new film because she’s going to take so many pictures!! 

probably coordinates her outfit to yours just so you guys look all cute and matching

she takes you to a light dinner first, probably like sushi or ramen or something 

and then you guys go to a special Valentines concert in the park!! 

of course Steph knows all the songs and all the choreography 

she dances all goofy and tries to get you to dance with her too! 

sends you copies of all the pictures she takes after and posts them on her Instagram with a cute caption like

“Best Valentine’s Date Ever!! y/n truly is the loml !”

Cassandra Cain: 

she’s probably never celebrated Valentines before

just never did as a kid and then never had any interest as an adult 

but you seem so excited about it that she wants to try 

she definitely goes to Steph and Barbara for advice on what to do for you

and of course her girls have her back!! 

she’s really shy when she asks you, but she decides to go the simple route and straight up asks 

she’s so relieved when you say yes!! 

she gets you a potted plant instead of flowers cause she doesn’t really get the point of getting you something that’ll die soon 

she packs you guys a really nice picnic and the two of you go for a hike by her favorite spot 

there’s a really nice waterfall up there and some dry rocks where she spreads out a picnic blanket 

the two of you snack on the food she brought and just chat 

you’re honestly really touched that she was thinking about you this Valentine’s Day and wanted to do something special for you 

“I know it’s not much, but it’s my first time celebrating and I really wanted to do something nice for you.”

Duke Thomas:

he’s super nervous to be celebrating your first valentines together

and knowing him he just has to make it perfect 

he’s probably had his dinner reservation for like a month at least 

picks up a bouquet of your favourite flowers too (bonus points cause he gets them from a local florist instead of a supermarket) 

spends hours and hours picking out the perfect outfit too

probably calls Steph and asks for her advice on his outfit, cologne, his gift for you etc. 

is at your house ready to pick you up super early 

waits as long as you need to get ready and his jaw DROPS when he sees you 

all flustered and shy and stumbles over his words while he tries to compliment you!!

he definitely relaxes a little on the way to the restaurant

by the time you’re eating, you guys are making easy conversation and by dessert he’s holding your hands across the table <3

insists you guys go for a walk after dinner to look at the stars !!

“so, how did I do? did I nail it?”

Damian Wayne:

he is a complete stranger to the concept of Valentines 

And much like Tim he simply does not care 

however his teacher makes them make little mail boxes in school and teaches them about the history of the holiday 

and he gets a bit of a heavy heart realizing this is something normal kids do and he just really wants to fit in even if he’ll never admit 

which is what leads him to you the day before Valentine’s Day 

and of course you can’t say no to him because he’s being vulnerable with you and he’s just so fragile :((

that’s how you end up taking him to the craft store to pick up foam and ribbons and glitter glue and stickers 

the two of you sit down at the table and get to work making cute little heart shaped valentines for all of his classmates 

he probably handwrites a message on each of them individually 

things like “I tolerate you” and “you’re not the stupidest person in our class”

the spirit is there lol 

Steph and Dick definitely join in and help you guys make them at some point 

and Alfred makes sure you guys have snacks and drinks the whole time 

at school the next day he’s so nervous to give them out but when he gets his first ever Valentine he’s so happy !!

and when he gets home you’re waiting there with the rest of the family with more Valentine’s for him!! 

pretends he doesn’t care but he’s smiling and blushing and hides them in a shoebox in his closet

he looks at them whenever he’s sad :((

“As stupid as Valentines are, thank you, y/n, for helping me join in this year”

pretends he doesn’t care but he’s smiling and blushing and hides them in a shoebox in his closet

[killianthebee]

I love the idea of a DC/Marvel crossover where Bruce Wayne adopts a young Tony Stark.

I like to think he would be the second youngest, Damian being the youngest. The Wayne family had only met him briefly at galas and they're only made aware of Tony again when there is an article about the death of his parents in a tragic car accident. Something tugs at Bruce's heart strings and he ends up adopting Tony. Luckily before Obadiah could get to him.

Tony would be around 10-12. But he is still amazingly smart. Howard Stark was already talking about signing him up for college. Though, Maria Stark interfered before it could actually happen.

Imagine Jarvis comes to live with them at Wayne Manor and becomes a butler alongside Alfred. They would probably be good friends. They both just want to care and serve their wards. Ana comes too and everyone loves her food, it's second best to Alfred's...maybe even better.

Stark Industries go to Obadiah Stane. Tony keeps an eye on it...until he gets kidnapped. Yep, Obadiah still felt the need to do that. He can't mold Tony to his standards now that he's with the Wayne's (and the company will go to Tony when he's of age) so the next best thing is to have him eliminated. But that fails and Tony basically has the same kidnapping as the movie with arc reactor and all.

The Wayne's are so relieved when Tony makes it home. Bruce freaks out when he discovers the arc reactor. I think they would probably be much faster at finding a solution to the palladium problem.

Tony knows he need to stop the weapons manufacturing but Stane won't listen to him. He and the Bats figure out that Stane was the one behind the kidnapping.

I think Tony would definitely try to build a suit and stop Stane himself but the Bats stop him and then go handle Stane themselves.

The Bats then work to collect and destroy all the weapons that got out.

The company is put into the hands of Pepper Potts.

As for the relationships...

Bruce and Tony have an okay relationship, probably better than the other kids. Tony thinks Bruce mostly pities him and that's why he was adopted. He also resents Bruce for not letting him be a vigilante. He just wants to be like the rest of the family! But Bruce FINALLY realized that maybe he should stop making child soldiers. Bruce loves that Tony can challenge him so much with his intellect. Bruce doesn't even fathom the idea of sending Tony to college, which Tony greatly appreciates.

Alfred and Tony. Tony loves Alfred, honestly. He thinks he's the third best person in the world (Jarvis and Ana are before him). They have routine chess matches and Tony always wins. Alfred teaches him how to do laundry and cook because there's no one way anyone taught him that stuff.

Tony thinks Dick is cool but a bit dorky. Dick thinks Tony is like a little miniature Tim but a lot smarter. Dick teaches him flips that Tony actually kinda sucks at it but it's fun and great bonding for them.

Tony and Jason. Tony is a little iffy about Jason. He does think he's super cool, he's all tough and stuff. But...he's a little weird about the killing. He's a little wary around him as a result. Jason eventually explains to him the ins and outs of his whole operation and how he only kills bad people. Tony comes around a little after that and even offers advice for his organization.

Tim kinda resents Tony because he's like wtf that's literally me. But then he realized how cool and sweet Tony is. He also finds out Tony is even smarter than he is. Tony loves that Tim can almost match his intellect, he doesn't get that a lot and it can be pretty boring.

Duke likes Tony solely cause he helps Duke with his homework. Tony also has pretty good pranks and so far they haven't gotten caught.

Tony thinks Cass is probably the most epic person ever. He likes to try and sneak up on her but he hasn't succeeded yet. Doesn't stop him from trying and inventing new tech.

Tony does not like Damian and Damian does not like Tony. Tony thinks Damian is a brat and Damian thinks Tony is stealing all the attention. In reality, Tony just lost his parents and is going through a hard time and needs love. Damian hasn't grown up with a lot of love and now that he had it and he feels it was stripped away, he becomes defensive and angry. They get along...eventually.

Barbara thinks Tony is a brat. Tony likes to hack into her computer and he is GOOD. Though, she comes to like it as she realizes it is kind of helping her get better and it can be fun.

Steph likes Tony's spitefulness and sometimes they team up to tease the others. Tony thinks Steph is pretty cool.

I love this idea so much but I don't have the time to write it 😞😞

[ankahikoibaat]

okay. OKAY.

so yesterday i fell into people's 'dick grayson' tags - i say as if i wasn't purposefully doing that - and now i have Thoughts on the writing of the current Nightwing run. someone described it as 'Bruce: Year One' instead of Nightwing, and look - look, I agree, because they massacred my boy!

Nightwing as a character has been doing this for almost two decades so why is he having to learn things from other characters who have been doing this for a shorter amount of time? he's the Original, the Standard - you're telling me this man wouldn't have contingencies on contingencies? this is a character that's gone head to head against Deathstroke multiple times, handled his own city and lead teams and you're telling me, what, he needs his hand held and other people to make the plans?

bull-fucking-shit.

having to nerf a character's capabilities and intelligence in order to make others look good in their own series is proof that the writers a) don't know the character and b) don't care for them. Nightwing's been nerfed so fucking hard and it frustrates me so much because he's done it all. in one comic you tell me he's a multiuniversal constant, he's the hero everyone knows they can call, and in his own series he? needs Babs or the Titans to take the reins? what the fuck?

way I'll accept the downplaying of his intelligence and his capabilities is if there's an outside influence slowly affecting him - its been so slow that the people that would notice (the Titans, who actually care about him and not just what he can do for them) haven't because they're not around as much, meanwhile the Batfam just starts believing they're outpacing him. maybe this is a demon that took the chance to attack him after he, you know, died. or after he was shot in the head and lost his memories. maybe it's an aftereffect of said headshot.

maybe it's a misgotten wish by someone else who is jealous of him or - or - something. because this guy they're trying to tell me is happy go lucky, can't cook, can't take care of himself? that's not Dick Grayson. we have YEARS of comics saying otherwise about him so like, fuck you current comic writers.

spitefic where it's only when he almost dies/whatever's affecting him almost sucks his lifeforce right out that someone realises it. spitefic where Dick finally gets to react to the way no one cares about him only what he can do for them, only what they can take from him - Dick reacting to being himself again and seeing that barely anyone noticed he was different and finally, finally putting himself fucking first. he's still Nightwing, he'll still show up for others, but he's not going to carve away pieces of himself trying to be who everyone demands him to be, who everyone casts aside and blames when things go wrong or he makes a mistake. spitefic where everyone realises they fucked up but it's too late and they see that while Dick's everyone's safety net, he's got maybe one or two people he believes he can count on (and it's not who anyone thinks).

(i will say the art for the comics and WFA are really good, i just wish the characterisation of Dick wasn't 'himbo who bears the emotional weight of the Batfam and occasionally fights i guess'.)

[umbrellajamming]

Post-Knightfall - Batboys and Domestic Chores

aka What To Do When Your Alfred Quits Because Bruce Is A Self-Destructive Dingus With No Regard For His Own Health And So Now You Suddenly Have To Adult All By Yourself

aka despite both being raised by Alfred from roughly age 9 onward, Bruce is still a completely helpless fumbling rich boy when it comes to domestic tasks, while Dick is very much not, lol.

Tim also starts out as a typical sheltered teenage boy who doesn't even know how to fold laundry... But fortunately for him, he has a new older brother to teach him what's what while they're partnered up during Prodigal! :D

...Sort of. Once Bruce is back and he and Tim are on their own, they both still fumble without Alfred or Dick around. Tim's embryonic domestic skills can't make up for Bruce being a sad wet cat re: household tasks, pfft.

In chronological order, starting after Bruce and Alfred have both fucked off and Dick and Tim are holding down the fort in Gotham as Batman and Robin:

DICK AND TIM

Batman #512 - Dick can cook! And he cooks for Tim :) Also, the house-robes are adorable, as always. Tim: "I can't believe you can actually cook..." Dick: "I like to eat." Tim: "So does Bruce - but he had to order Chinese last night." Dick: "That's where I'm one up on him - I've lived on my own without an Alfred. Still miss him, though... He was good for a lot more than cooking and cleaning." Tim: "Yep - but at least we don't have to miss him on empty stomachs."

Batman: Shadow of the Bat #32 - The Manor was thrashed after Bruce's fight with Bane, and was never cleaned up after Bruce's back was broken and Jean-Paul Valley took over as Batman. The Batbros are on the job! Dick (sweeping): "Bruce told me a story once: Two philosophers talked all day." Tim (blithely eating a banana): "And...?" Dick (tossing him the broom): "The mess was still there next morning!" Tim (grinning): "Message received and understood, Captain!"

Batman #513 - Timmy is amazed at Dick's mastery of the household arts! Tim: "Awesome - you can cook and do the laundry?" Dick: "Hey, if there's time, I may even putty some new panes in those smashed windows." Tim: "Blimey - does Alfred the Pennyworth know you've mastered all his domestic secrets?" Dick: "Who do you think taught him?" Tim: "Not to get too serious, Dick, but it's good to see you loose again - and good to see the Manor taking shape, too. Since Jean Paul didn't care about it and Bruce relies on Alfred, it looks like you can teach a trick or two the other Batmen couldn't."

Robin #12 - More Dick handling the laundry, and Dick flinging a towel in Tim's face - er, teaching him how to fold so that he can pitch in instead of sitting on the side and moping. Dick: "Does that mean that things are going smoother between you and Ariana?" Tim (mopily): "Not really. Every time I think we're finally getting along, something happens to change all that." Dick: "Welcome to the opposite sex, Tim." Tim: "Look at you with the laundry. You're going to make some woman happy someday." Dick: "Well, it's about time you learned to fold a towel." (throws one in Tim's face) Tim: "Hey!" Dick: "I can't do everything around here until Alfred gets back."

BRUCE AND TIM

Bruce is back! And he straight up sucks at all this stuff without Alfred, lol, and doesn't have a Dick to lean on like Tim did.

Batman: Shadow of the Bat #35 - Bruce attempting laundry in the washer (laundry strewn all over the room and bubbles ominously emerging from the machine), getting pizza delivery, and asking the delivery boy for limo service recs, lol. Delivery Boy: "Good afternoon, sir. Three-cheese special, right?" Bruce: "You don't happen to know a good limo service? Or anything about washing machines...?"

Detective Comics #685 - Bruce infamously ruining tuna fish sandwiches. Bruce: "Sorry about lunch, Tim. I'm not much of a hand in the kitchen. With Alfred gone I'm pretty much helpless." Tim: "It's okay, Bruce. How can you screw up a tuna fish sandwich?" (takes a bite) "Oh. That's how."

Detective Comics #687 - Bruce attempts to toss an Armani tuxedo in the washing machine because reasons. Tim: "Are you sure you know what you're doing, Bruce?" Bruce: "How dangerous can it be, Tim? Alfred never seems to have a problem." Tim: "Well, he makes everything look easy. What are you washing here?" Bruce: "My summer tux. It smelled like the river." Tim (pulling out the now-tiny tux jacket and smirking): "Guess you didn't know you were supposed to dry clean these things, huh?"

Batman: Shadow of the Bat #40 - The central heating system at the Manor has gone down, and Bruce is aghast that he (a) has to make a reservation with the maintenance man, and (b) it might take him more than a week to take care of it. Bruce decides to just fix it himself - I wonder how that went, lol. Bruce (hand to his forehead dramatically) : "A butler, at butler, my kingdom for a butler!" Tim (coming down the stairs into the basement): "Specifically Alfred?" Bruce: "Very specifically. He'd have had these central heating tyrants fixed in minutes. Losing Alfred has caused me as much pain as anything Bane did to me."

THE RETURN OF ALFRED! Yaaaaay! And more Bruce and Tim.

Batman #521 - More overflowing laundry shenanigans 😂 Bruce: "Not again, Tim!" Tim: "Honest, Bruce - I know I didn't go overboard on the detergent this time!" Bruce: "You mean you added detergent too--? After I already did it?" Tim: "Uh oh. Hey, I was only trying to help..." Bruce: "The mops." Tim: "Yeah...again." Alfred returns to Bruce and Tim both attempting to mop up, suds everywhere, including in their hair. To preserve both his and Bruce's dignity, he's pretended to come in answer to a Help Wanted ad that he himself placed in the paper, for a butler at Wayne Manor. Bruce and Tim both warmly welcome him home.

Detective Comics #689 - Batman and Robin pick the wrong rooftop to talk on, and startle a woman coming up to hang her laundry so badly that she faints, dropping and scattering the whole load. Robin: "She'll be okay. Just passed out." Batman: "I hate when this happens." Robin: "Well, what do we do now?" Batman: "How about demonstrating some of your new skills - the ones Nightwing taught you?" Robin: "Man..." He does, and the woman wakes up to her neatly folded items in her basket, while Bruce and Tim swing away. Tim (indignant): "It wouldn't hurt you to learn how to fold clothes, even though Alfred is back." Batman (grinning): "You know what they say about old dogs, Robin." Robin: "Right."

(All of these were published within a one year span, from November 1994 to September 1995. Very fun little recurring D-plot in the aftermath of Knightfall c:)

[blurrymind11]

Branch is on his way to join his Brothers! Everyone’s so excited for his premiere!

Also sidenote why r people replying with hashtags as comments? I’d appreciate comments! Like positive ones obviously

I dont really have anything else to write so ig im just gonna write headcanons specifically Branch ones

- JD is back! But he’s trying to distance himself from Branch…branch finds out his older very protective brother is dealing with alot, even stuff branch never recognized

-Branch is actually the third to forgive JD with Floyd and Bruce being first and Clay being last

-Branch is worried about all his brothers and tries to spend time with all of them

-Doing reading and math with Clay and Golf obviously

-Floyd teaches him how to rock out and write more music aswell as how not to party

-He hangs out on the beach with Bruce collecting shells and helping at the restaurant

-Him and JD go exploring in the wilderness and they both exchange all kinds of skills

-He sucks at cooking

-Branch has hip dips

-His colour fluctuates and he’s still gray once in a while

-He actually loves sunlight and relaxing in grass clearings

-Branch low spectrum has autism,resulting in him to be overstimulated once in awhile.Everyone in his life knows how to help him especially his brothers and Poppy. JD is the one Branch prefers because he’s really comforting and helpful which he can switch on whenever any of his brothers need help

[thesevenwondersofawitch]

The Brothers Sun ep8

Understandable that the Tea Leaf guy won't talk unless Big Sun is brought down

Aw, they're staying in a motel

Mama Sun is so done that Bruce couldn't get the name for dragon head right 😂

She makes her son drive at night because she gets lost😭

She bought 6 pasta strainers just because they were on sale

"You are not a crime boss. You're my mom." She can be both

I get where she's coming from, but it never sits right to be mad at the kid who didn't

NOOOOOOOOOO Charles nooooooooooooooo

Oh thank god, he shot above his brother's head

The mom's hand on Charles shoulder 😭 I bet she came running

I love that Bruce said that it's going to lead to decades of therapy (that his brother was sent to kill him by their father)😂

Charles don't hurt your brother! He has a point about killing your father

The fact that Bruce said he'd do anything to protect his brother 😭

The way the mom admitted that the chairleg incident was a test and she didn't push back against the father when he forced Charles to kill the first time😭

At least she's showing the remorse and guilt she feels for sacrificing

"Forget dad, you can be Charles -churro baker Sun"😭

The way that the mom has a charger for her son's phone😭

Oh, Charles just realized how he was betrayed

Xing telling the Wang bros that they need to shut up makes me hope she at least feels some guilt for betraying

The dad is such an asshole

Good for you Charles, telling your dad you want to stay. I'm proud of you❤️

The way I cheered when Charles shot those douche bags😂

Oh no, Xing is going to kill the mother and brother 😭

Well fuck indeed, Charles, fuck indeed

Alexis saying that they don't have shrimp chips😂

Him asking for a charger is not permission to track his phone

Alexis is far worse than Charles ever could be

Mama Sun wearing an oversized jersey is so cute

Yeah, Xing sucks and blood boots would never

The fact that the mom is immediately chastising Bruce for getting the wrong milk😂

FUCK YOU ALEXIS. FUCK YOU

Bruce is absolutely playing her😂 the improv classes work!

I love how Charles is just as shocked that the mom can fight 😂😂

Bruce planning to kill their dad😂

I mean, him being good at Laser Tag and also beating his actual assassin brother at a shooting video game is hilarious and actually makes sense

Bruce: "Neither of us are who our parents thought we were."

Charles"Yeah, but both our parents are crazy."

Bruce: "yeah."

Bruce, hugging Charles: "I don't think we've ever hugged before."

Charles: "Well, you're probably gonna die, so might as well get one last one before you go."😂

Bruce: "Right."

Bruce, handing his visitor badge to Alexis: "The Brothers Sun don't work with cops." HA!

Oh no, Bruce don't listen to that serpent of a father who's telling you to join him.

I love that Charles made sure to shoot his dad and missed the internal organs 😂 It definitely pays

The way that Bruce said he'd use his spit to make his taco dumplings 😂

I'm pretty sure that it was Bruce's plan all along to get his brother and mom to cook for him forever😂

FUCK YEAH! THE MAMA INJECTING THE DAD'S IV BAGS WITH INSULIN IS WICKED AND GENIUS AND I'M SO HAPPY FOR HER!

Awwwww she bought her son a bakery 😭🥺

Hopefully that other girl isn't

The way she brought gifts to her friends

I love that she wants her kids to have lives and be happy 🥺❤️

Good for Alexis that she got a tower of her snack

The pictures in the mom's room with both her boys🥺😭

I'm crying with Bruce and Mama Sun too😭 nothing bad better happen to her

Oh nooooo, Charles is leaving too😭 I mean I'm happy that he's gonna get some time with his mama and that she's finally getting what she wants

I love that June has dinner reservations already 😂 she's got her priorities straight

The fact that Bruce still struggles to drive his car is hilarious and relatable af😂

I really hope we get another season, just because this was so well written and I enjoyed this show so much. But it also ended on a great note.

Ooooooo I wonder who that guy with the sunglasses sounds like he's being sent after Tea guy

Also still curious about who the man was that Eileen had been dancing with in Taiwan

[tmntkiseki]

Batman vs Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles liveblog reaction

Just a little over a minute into the movie and Barbara Gordon stops some shuriken with nothing more than a filing folder. Awesome.

Not going to lie, when I first saw a clip from this movie on Youtube, I had no idea that Batman was being played by Troy Baker and not the late Kevin Conroy. I'm looking forward to how he plays The Joker in this movie.

These heavily stylized intro credits, man. Absolutely in love. The music also fucking slaps.

Is it bad that I genuinely like Leonardo carrying his katana on his belt rather than his back like in most iterations? I know it makes him look more samurai than ninja, but it looks so badass.

I love that the Penguin is only mildly perturbed at discovering he's being attacked by mutant turtles.

"It's always the time for accuracy, Leo." If I don't see that line pop up in another TMNT iteration, I'm rioting.

I had to avoid hooting and hollering when some blood finally showed up. LET MY ANIMATED TMNT BOYS BE BLOODY!

"It's a sword-brella too? I think I love this little guy!" MIKEY

SHREDDER JUST KILLED ONE OF HIS OWN GUYS <- Less shocked that it happened and more shocked that it happened explicitly on-screen

I love that the Turtles' battle with Penguin was full of goofy wise quips whereas Batman's battle with the Foot + Shredder is 100% serious with very little dialogue to speak of

Mikey is gonna spend this movie fanboying over all the stuff in Gotham, isn't he?

RAPHAEL LITERALLY JUST KICKED PENGUIN'S HENCHMEN OFF THE ROOF SFJGKDJFKFH

Raphael throws the first punch; gets his ass kicked by Batman

"I think we should see other people." "But I don't like other people." Awkward lesbian breakup is interrupted by random turtle being thrown into the pizza parlor by Batman.

"Ninja... turtles?" That's TEENAGE MUTANT Ninja Turtles to you, Bruce Wayne!

Ah, so this is one of the iterations where Baxter Stockman was turned into a mutant fly? He's also surprisingly polite. (I'm used to him being more self-centered and egotistical.)

"So he wears a Dracula costume and punches clowns. Who cares?! Dirtbag stole my sai!" "Dracula costume? What kind of Dracula movies are you watching?" SJGKDFJGKFDHJKGH

I am loving how Leonardo and Raphael were characterized for this movie. I'm kinda wishy-washy towards Donatello and Michelangelo.

The shots where the turtles are silhouettes with the only colored parts being the masks * chef kiss *

Mikey is 100% fully aware that he is touching things that are not supposed to be touched.

"What are you, five?" Says Donatello before having his bo stolen by Robin. "Hey, little guy. We didn't come here to fight," says Leonardo before Robin beats his kneecaps.

I keep forgetting that most iterations have the turtles capable of partially or completely retracting inside their shells. (The 2003 series is one of the few iterations where they can't, although they might have if Peter Laird got his way.)

"So, are we not going to beat up these green losers?" "It's not looking like it, no." Robin is literally a mini Raph.

Ra's al Ghul: * decapitates a security guard * Me: * proceeds to check the movie rating online * I'm sorry, it's only rated PG-13?!

God damn, this movie is literally what TMNT 2003 could have been if it didn't have to SOMEWHAT restrain itself so it could air on the 4Kids block.

Harley Quinn literally beckoned Shredder over to her cell just to check her makeup in his mask.

"I offer to cook a gourmet meal and they want pizza. Teenagers." To be fair, I'm one of the cheapest dates around. You could take me to Wendy's and I'd be happy.

"An immortal Shredder? That would... suck." Is someone gonna tell him?

"Calling me 'dude' is not helping your case, Master Michelangelo." It's worth noting that Alfred said his name how it's actually pronounced in Italian. Nice touch.

Donnie soothing Mikey by putting a slice of pizza in his mouth while patting his head. Weird, but oddly wholesome.

Okay, how the ever living FUCK is Troy Baker not only able to channel Kevin Conroy's performance as the Batman, but Mark Hamill's as the Joker?

Fucking Commissioner Gordon's reaction to the turtles just breathes "this might as well just happen at this point."

Harley Quinn being offended at Joker referring to her as "Nurse" instead of "Doctor," oh my god.

Even Batgirl and Robin are aware of how much of a downer Batman is.

Oh god, this bit where Scarecrow's fear gas makes Leonardo hallucinate his brothers being devoured by crows is absolutely brutal.

Is it bad that I think Donnie and Batgirl actually have quite a bit of chemistry?

Welp, Poison Ivy learned the hard way that being mutated into a giant Venus Fly Trap does not have its perks.

Mikey's reaction to Joker and Harley kissing with tongues was basically my reaction.

Okay, the reveal that combining the Joker Venom with the TCRI Ooze not only transforms you, but drives you mad is highkey disturbing. And Joker just injected Batman with it. Oh fucking shitnuggets.

Did Batman just kill Mr. Freeze?

Batgirl just proved that you CAN give your superheroes capes as long as they're detachable.

"You saved him... Thank you." * MIKEY GIVES ROBIN THE BIGGEST BEAR HUG * "Please stop!"

Mikey freaking out over Batman being Bruce Wayne, and Raph facepalming... god, I love these brothers.

Damn, Raph being the one to give Batman the talk about what a family is and how it works...

How is it that Robin and I had the same reaction to the Turtle Wagon in this movie. "Lame... OH FUCK, IT'S ACTUALLY AWESOME."

Did Donnie just take out the crane using manhole covers painted with pizza designs?

Donnie and Batgirl continue to bicker over calling the antidote "anti-ooze" or "retro-mutagen"

"Michelangelo, press some buttons." "I've always wanted to hit every button." Bruce, you need to be nicer to your child.

I'm 100% Ra's al Ghul took off his shirt just to show how muscular he is to Leo and Don.

"You... are a terrible disappointment." I feel like that's something Shredder wanted to say to Stockman for a while.

RA'S AL GHUL JUST BROKE DONNIE'S ARM, THE FUCKER

God, this movie's climax is just the definition of TENSE

"Foolish child. I'm hundreds of years old, and have trained with the greatest teachers in history. How could you possibly--" IS KICKED IN THE BALLS. "Oh yeah? Well, I'm 16, and I learned this from a rat."

We literally have Mikey to thank for Gotham not becoming infested with feral mutants. He and Donnie are also saved from falling to their deaths by a combination of their turtle physiology and sheer dumb luck.

So, uh, is Shredder going to become crazy like The Joker now?

Movie ends with a pizza party in the Batcave just before the turtles head back to New York. Friggin wholesome.

These ending credits are so awesome

Why did I have to fucking right about Shredder becoming a second Joker? AND WHERE IS THE SEQUEL?

[princess-of-the-corner]

Once Again, More Fanfic Quotes! Now with Bonus Quotes from DC Comics!

Thermostat: Izuku only likes me for my body.

Tamaki: that sounds a bit risqué

Thermostat: I meant literally.

Thermostat: the side he stands on depends on the weather.

*

A Special Boy: Can I just interrupt to say that I hate when people leave trans people out of the LGBT community? Like what do you think T stands for, triceratops?

jackoff: tricycle

eight feet: tango

Cake Boss: tiramisu

cha cha real smooth: teammate

me me big boy: tetsutetsu

barry benson: tETSTUTETSU

sword lesbian: The triceratops named Tetsutetsu that liked to tango, rides on a tricycle, eats tiramisu and is a true teammate

*

RIDLEY QUEEN: *bakugou voice* welcome tO FUCKING FLAVORTOWN

*

Kirishima: *holds knife, and is about to start cutting the carrots diagonally*

Katsuki: Hand that the fuck over, right now.

*

Katsuki: …wait attention that isn’t annoyance or frustration is a thing? People actually do that shit?

Kirishima: …bro are you ok?

*

OzaiAndUrsa'sLovechild: murder :)

HereComesDatBoi: Agreed :)

GreenOverlord: guys no!

OrangeJuiceGoVroom: i agree.

GreenOverlord: thanks Iida!

OrangeJuiceGoVroom: oh no i was agreeing with them. Definite yes on the murder.

*

“Alright, what have we got?” Momo asked as he closed the door to her room behind him. 

“Smoke inhalation.” [Bakugou] told her. “I’ve got smoke inhalation.”

*

Best Jeanist: how the fuck do i correctly kidnap a child

Snipe: Kill their parents and tell the kid that they were actually monsters sent to pretend to be their parents.

Midnight: Candy or ice cream will get most kids on your side, just make sure you let them pick the flavor.

Thirteen: Maintaining a polite and calm demeanor will encourage the child to trust you.

Naomasa: … Kidnappings are usually committed by family members or someone close to the child so if you’re going to frame someone, I’d recommend using that.

Gang Orca: Just claim they’re your kid, fake DNA test results, and absolutely deny what anyone says to the contrary.

Ectoplasm: Not announcing your intentions in a group chat full of pro-heroes is also probably helpful.

*

“I have no idea how you survived your childhood.”

“My running hypothesis is that I’m immortal. I’ve been testing it rigorously and so far it’s held up.”

*

Eraserhead: You don’t count as an adult unless you can do laundry properly, cook real food, and go to a boring dinner party without someone dragging you there.

Hawks: What do you mean “do laundry properly” you put the clothing in the clothing sink, you put the soap in, you turn it on and then once it beeps you moved it to the clothing oven.

Hawks: It’s not that hard.

*

Elphaba: sucks to be wrong doesnt it uwu

Mine-a: don’t uwu at me in that tone of text

*

“If we’re gay, how does that make us unqualified to kill space aliens? Does being hetero make us more violent?”

*

Actual Comic Books Quotes

*

Kid Devil: AH-HAH-HAH-HAHH! FLEE! FLEE FROM THIS PLACE OF GODLESS SCIENCE! THAT’S RIGHT! You have summoned the APOCALYPSE with your love of SCIENCE! I HAVE COME TO COLLECT YOUR SOULS! You brought this on yourselves! By teaching EVOLUTION!

(Beat)

Robin: Well. It IS clearing out the lab.

*

(Headbutted)

Blue Beetle: AH! That hurt through the armor! What are you packing in there?!

Lonar: JUSTICE!

Blue Beetle: You have a forehead full of justice? What does that even MEAN?!

*

Jaime: Do you think they saw us?

Dan Garrett: We’re five grown men dressed in bright colors inside a clear plastic bubble set against a rainbow background, Jaime. They saw us.

*

Dick: For what it’s worth, how’d I do with him?

Bruce: … Are you asking me if you were convincing as a homicidal maniac, Dick?

Dick: I suppose I am.

Bruce: Then yes, as a matter of fact, you were.

*

Batman: Why haven’t you taken a side?

Catwoman: I’m not like them. They’re criminals.

Batman: You’re currently breaking into a safe that’s not yours.

Catwoman: You know what I mean. I’m not like them. They're unsuccessful criminals. 

Batman: Do I need to worry about you?

Catwoman: (amused) Are you checking up on me, Bat? Are you trying to protect me?

Batman: No. No one needs to protect you.

Catwoman: Oh. Well then, yes. You very much have to worry about me.

(They kiss)

Bruce: (In the present) Afterward, I slept. When I woke, you were gone. With the diamonds.

Selina: OK, yes. But in my defense, I did warn you. I’m not exactly unsuccessful.

*

Gordon: (Rubbing his nose) Just close your eyes and think about retirement.Somewhere warm where the giant turtles don’t talk.

*

(personal favourite)

Black Mask: Somehow, I don’t think you would be surprised at all to learn the life I have chosen can be a lonely one.

Red Hood/Jason Todd: Don’t take this the wrong way, but it might have to do with the whole BDSM theme. Just saying - maybe lose the mask once in a while? (Beat) Like at breakfast, as the most immediate example.

-

These are beautiful.

[staggersz]

Headcanon: Finney and Vance can and will cook. Billy and Griffin can’t and won’t cook. Robin and Bruce can’t but will cook

Finney can cook. He had to get used to his dad not being up to cook breakfast and sometimes dinner, so he learned to cook for himself and Gwen.

I think Robin can actually cook really well. In fact he probably cooks the most out of the six of them. They’re all obsessed with Robin’s food, which makes Robin really happy. He uses his mom’s cookbook a lot, which makes him emotional, but he likes making the things she used to make for him.

Bruce can’t cook for SHITTTT he is the worst at cooking he legit can’t even make oatmeal. He burns eggs. He doesn’t know how to make pancakes. He’s even worse when it comes to dinner. He overcooks pasta. He burns meat. He can’t do ANYTHING. Luckily he has Vance! 😇

Vance can 100% cook. He does it because it’s a way for him to settle down. When he and Bruce are older and get a house together, Bruce always makes the “woah, something looks good in here” joke and Vance is like “thanks Griffin lent me the recipe for-“ and Bruce being the charming mf he is, is like “i wasnt talking about the food 😁” but ofc Bruce loves Vance’s cooking.

imo Billy can’t make savory foods, but he’s really good at making small and simple treats. Only thing he’s amazing at making that isn’t simple is a fucking apple pie. APPLE PIE. Literally all of them are shocked that he can make that without almost starting a fire. He sucks at making other foods though.

Griffin is surprisingly really good at cooking. He doesn’t cook that often, but he likes cooking with his mom, and Vance. Whenever Griffin tries baking with Billy though, they always end up burning the desert because they keep messing around and dont take a single thing seriously. They end up covered in flour most of the time.

[megamindsupremacy]

Crossover PJO fics

PJO/DC

Sons of wisdom by darkmagyk

'Bruce has always known he’s meant for war.

As a son of Athena, the gods probably think he’s meant for their war.

They are wrong.'

Bruce Wayne is a Demigod. It changes absolutely everything. It changes almost nothing.

-

The ship of Theseus by zipadeea

“What do you think of the Waynes?” Percy had asked Annabeth the week before. “Seems like they’re in Gotham’s headlines all the time, and not always for great reasons. You think they’re involved with the mob or something?”

“The opposite, actually,” Annabeth had replied, a wry smile on her face.

“What’s the opposite of the mob?”

“In Gotham? What do you think?”

Percy’s eyes had widened. “No. No way. Bruce Wayne is such a goof, there’s no way--,”

“Wouldn’t that be the best cover, though?”

***

Poseidon once told Percy he was his favorite son.

But he's not the only one.

-

Oh my Gods by siren_of_the_ocean

Tim Drake is a demigod in the Battle of Manhattan. He sends Thalia to inform the Justice league about well…Everything. And Kon is concerned.

-

PJO/Marvel

Toil and trouble by silverbird6

The air was thick with magic, so similar to the Mist and yet much more…chaotic. It pulled at the strands of Hazel’s hair and clutched at her mind, trying to convince her she was Betsy, a member of the neighborhood women's club and was very interested in making sure the town talent show went off without a hitch. Hazel was more concerned with the way she seemed to lose time every once in a while and wake up in a strange house, usually cooking or cleaning or tending to the garden.

After the events of Avengers Endgame, Hazel follows some unusual magic to the small town of Westview.

-

The File by denimbeans

The elevator dinging was probably the best sound Hazel had ever heard. Thanking the Gods for Leo and his well thrown screwdriver hitting the button, she had rushed to the Doors.

Clytius got there first.

When a body had collapsed on the threshold, Hazel almost felt like throwing up. It was Percy, it had to be, but…Gods of Olympus, he looked horrible. His hair was longer than she remembered, matted and streaked with blood. His clothes were torn and coated with golden dust. His skin looked like somebody had sucked the life out of it.

-

Can I Write 'Tried to rob Tony Stark' on My Resume? by hyperInactive

Percy was at least happy that this wasn't a prophecy. Stealing back some demigod weapons from a mortal? Sure, Iron Man was a superhero and a genius, but after dealing with Gaea, that was nothing. They just had to steer clear of anyone who might recognize them, and they were positive that they could pull it off easier than most of their quests. And potentially land Leo a job, while they're at it.

But Percy should have known better. Nothing is ever that simple for a demigod.

-

The Battle of New York... the SECOND Battle of New York by Variscite

The Seven (plus Nico and Will) fight in the Battle of New York with the Avengers.

This is set after the Trials of Apollo, so if you haven’t read that you’ll get pretty major spoilers, just a heads up.

ROUND TWO ADDITION:

Ancient History, Modern Times by tearsofsaudade

Clint was the first one to notice the kid, maybe sixteen or seventeen years old, wearing an old blue hoodie over a faded orange shirt and sitting cross-legged on a bench in Central Park eating a sandwich.  All normal things for teenage boys to be doing.  He shook his head and brushed black hair out of his face as he took another bite, completely unconcerned.

Meanwhile, Thor flew two feet in front of him at the speed of sound as a giant robot flung him away from the fight happening literally right in front of the bench.

Or: Percy Jackson meets different Avengers because he's doing things he shouldn't be doing. As usual.

-

And Death Won't Come Knocking by icewhisper

The history books remember Steve Rogers as the son of an Irish immigrant, but the people who saw him every summer remember him as Greek.

[quotidian-oblivion]

I see you have an ask game active so why not send you asks? :D

Also I just realized that I don’t really send you asks and that must be fixed immediately so without further ado

☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

Share some ideas! I’d love to see it

Ask game

HI VIBEY!!!

Aww, tyy. I really appreciate it! /gen

I have... ideas alright! Hold on- I got a perfect one.

The Rogue's Bi-monthly Meeting

So I wrote this while just being lazy on the bus and my mind was not staying still and kept bouncing around in my skull. I was gonna post it on Tumblr sometime after finishing it, but couldn't bother so. Here ya go, enjoy:

[Jason goes undercover as Red Hood to a rogues' meeting when Bruce got some intel that some of Gotham's rogues get together to discuss plans. Here's how the conversation goes basically.] Riddler: As the nominated chairperson of the bi-monthly rogues meeting, I officially declare this meeting open. State your order of businesses.  [They all give a vague idea of their plans] Penguin: hey wait. You can't attack Gotham City Thomas Wayne Orphanage, Croc. I'm attacking it on the 23rd of April.  Croc: Too bad.  Penguin: Back off. I thought of the idea first.  Riddler: Now now. The whole reason for this meeting is so that we don't pull the same gimmicks over and over. I'm sure there are plenty of other orphanages to go around. Penguin: I don’t want other orphanages. I want this one. It always ticks off Batman more than the others.  Croc: You're supposed to be clever, Penguin. Figure something out.  Penguin, pulling out his umbrella: now listen here you— Riddler: Do you want to be banned from the meetings like Kite-man? No? Then shut your trap.  [Penguin grumbles but sits back down] [They discuss special days and who's doing what on which day and Jason's recording everything when—] Riddler: And what about you, Hood? We still got Christmas Eve, Saturnalia and Eid-ul-Adha. Choose your pick.  Jason, absentmindedly: Uh, Saturnalia. Condiment King: You kidding? There are so many gigs happening at that time that you'll go unnoticed.  Scarecrow: I believe it's the opposite. Batman always had a hard spot for Red Hood. Makes me wonder what he did to earn the Bats' love more than the rest of us. Jason, gritting his teeth: Nunya business. Riddler: Moving on! Now… the vigilantes themselves. Does anyone know if any of the Bats are on their period right now? Catwoman: Black Bat's on hers.  [The whole room bristles with fear] Penguin: There's no way I'm pulling off any gigs now. Scarecrow: This sucks. Croc: Yeah, I'm pulling out. I'm not ready to be paralyzed right now.  Puppeteer: Yeah man, I'm out too. Now's a good time as any to go to that Hawaii trip I've been planning. Jason, mouthing under his helmet: What the fuck? Bane: Why does Black Bat always have to have her periods irregularly? It sucks balls. Riddler, sighing: I agree. And I had cooked up such a beautiful surprise for Batman. Anyway, is Spoiler's periods still regular? Judging from how stiff Firefly is looking, I'd say yes.  Firefly: Those are two Bats who have their period at the same time! Riddler, having giving up on his mission to stay out of Arkham this week: Indeed we are truly in hell. Next order of business is— [Harley and Ivy bust through the doors] Harley: We just got word that Batman just banned Red Robin from drinking coffee! Ivy: Red Robin's on a caffeine withdrawal! [Immediately, the whole room bursts into shrieks. One of them give a classic high-pitched scream] Penguin: Why?! Why?! Can't Batman just let him have his coffee?! And that too on Spoiler’s and Black Bats’ periods! *wails* Riddler: Now I gotta postpone all those riddle hunts I planned! If he wasn't on caffeine withdrawal and two Bats weren’t menstruating, I would have gotten enough time to establish an actual game! Scarecrow: Puppeteer, you got room for one more person for that Hawaii trip? Jason, squirming cuz he was the one who dobbed in Tim's hidden coffee stash: Uh… Can I come?