#broken pain
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No amount of pain made anybody stronger. Strength is built, not fuckin carved.
#orcspeak#like how can you watch someone eat a hundred lovingly crafted meals and sleep in a lovingly crafted bed#and wrap their broken bones in lovingly crafted casts and then say ''it's the pain what healed em''
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I hate myself.
I hate my face.
I hate my eyes.
I hate my ears.
I hate my nose.
I hate my mouth.
I hate my lips.
I hate my hair.
I hate my neck.
I hate my shoulders.
I hate my chest.
I hate my back.
I hate my belly.
I hate my hips.
I hate my arms.
I hate my hands.
I hate my fingers.
I hate my skin.
I hate my crotch.
I hate my thighs.
I hate my knees.
I hate my legs.
I hate my feet.
I hate my ankles.
I hate my toes.
I hate my smile.
I hate my laugh.
I hate my scars.
I hate my stretch marks.
I hate my bones.
I hate my body hair.
I hate my voice.
I hate my mind.
I hate my thoughts.
I hate my dysphoria.
I hate my depression.
I hate my anxiety.
I hate my eating disorders.
I hate my trauma.
I hate my nightmares.
I hate my past.
I hate my memories.
I hate my childhood.
I hate my adolescence.
I hate my adulthood.
I hate my existence.
I hate my life.
I just hate every single thing about myself so fucking much...
#dear diary#worthless#empty#tired#useless#i want to die#i hate myself#i'm sorry#pain#alone#anxiety#self harm#suicidal#sad#depression#heartbreak#hurt#hopeless#kill me#lost#lonely#broken#numb#not good enough#i have no words to express how much disgust i have for myself...#i just hate myself#tw
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Turtle hunt gone wrong.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#tulu xuanwu#The charming bunny socks betrayed him#the handknit socks have been given a blood sacrifice. The pact is sealed.#I will also add that lwj was sitting down last comic to give his already injured leg a break so now he’s injured twice#I had to double check I did not make up the fact that lwj gets injured in this fight (he does)#the fact his leg has been broken and untreated for days was already enough for the ‘nurse you back to health’ scene#he must be the most stubbon man in the world to have gone this long with only showing minor signs of pain#That or he is just built different. They are putting something in the water in the cloud recesses that is making the teens too strong#Too bad they are also putting something in the water at lotus pier because this teen is about to be gently carried with no issue#I like to think the turtle just gets sad at the implicated rejection and waddles back into the water while the next few scenes happen
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Holding on gets harder and harder everyday and I don’t really see myself having a future.
#holding on#no future#broken#sad#depressed#alone#lost#falling apart#depression#lonely#pain#bpd#depressive#self harming#depressiv#suicidal#crying#borderline personality disorder#suicide#sad world#offing myself#hopeless#bipolar#anxiety#i hate my brain#hate myself#empty inside#empty
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So...... Loop and Odile huh?
v THE OTHER RESPONSE I DOODLED v
yeagh
#isat#in stars and time#loopdile#isat spoilers#spoilers#myart#fanart#siffrin#loop#Look#Loop considers Siffrin to be worthy of redemption#but they may not hold themselves to the same level of forgiveness#where softness and comfort are what Siffrin needs from his party#Loop would struggle#because if they're with the party they're in a different role than they were before the loops#they cant have what they used to have and that would chafe at them with every little comfort and hug#this leads up to Odile not being as emotionally robust as Isa and Mira but she IS logical and doesnt take any shit#Loop and Odile getting together is a NEW dynamic to Loop#they wouldn't feel like an interloper#plus they canonically find Odile someone to emulate so they heavily respect her as a baseline#idk i just think Loop would get more catharsis from someone who would give them what they wanted in terms of self flagellation#but also someone who wouldn't let them escape afterwards and would force them to acknowledge the source of their pain#changing is destruction n I think Loop needs to get broken a few times before healing#like if Siffin and Loop were broken bones#the party caught Siffrin and were able to set him straight before he healed wrong#Loop healed in a super fucked up way and its causing pain for everyone#sFNFnGFGN IDK ITS LIKE#NOT A ROMANTIC SHIP#ITS SOMETHING COMPLICATED#but i also want Loop to whimper yknow
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ripple effect legacy // my tears are becoming a sea, M83
#weaving parallels but god at what cost#something something luffy inheriting the will of a burnt out sun#something something the things we leave behind (broken promises. pain. little brothers. cool fire punch moves)#see the significance of ace is that he spends his whole life asking 'should i even have been born' and then through the positive#impact he has on everyone around him he creates a continuing cycle of change where people reach out a hand to help others#he said 'im not sure i deserve to live' and then became the most remembered and loved and sorely missed dude in one piece#like it's almost comedic how luffy keeps finding his big brother in the stories and best qualities of all the people he comes across vs.#people who knew ace and keep seeing pieces of him in luffy#anyway happy new year portgas d. ace trauma be upon ye~#one piece#op#portugas d ace#portgas d ace#asl brothers#yamato#wano spoilers#one piece spoilers#CJ's edits#amv#monkey d luffy#straw hat luffy#monkey d. luffy#portgas d. ace#CJ's op watch-through
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Headcanon that Leo really loved to give his family massages growing up. We know that he’s good at them from the episode “You Got Served” and we know he likes spas and relaxation and getting massages himself from when he tried to get these in “Bad Hair Day” and from when Donnie made a tennis ball massage machine in “Smart Lair.”
So I think it’d be cute to think that maybe one day Leo overheard Splinter complaining about a bad back and immediately Leo thinks back to a comic or movie or something he saw where a massage helped so he offers to give one and it actually ends up helping Splinter.
Then April swings by the Lair at a later time and mentions her back hurting because of her backpack from school and Leo’s all like “I gotcha!”
From there, he occasionally manages to convince Donnie to sit for one because Donnie’s shrimp posture does not help him any (Leo pokes fun at how sandpaper-y Donnie’s shell is despite knowing it’s always like that and Donnie smacks him for it.) Donnie usually prefers hand massages instead however as all his typing and inventing adds up over time, and shoulder massages too once he starts wearing his battle shells more. Leo also figures out how to give massages to Raph and Mikey’s shells as well, though it’s a struggle at first to not scratch his hands on Raph’s spikes.
I think since Leo has such bad luck with spas and the like, he tries giving himself massages (though it’s not as helpful.) Like, with how his abilities work his legs are probably always aching from his portal jumping and one foot landings, so maybe he branches past back massages out of a need to help his own aches too. (Though he really wants a shell massage himself, the same way he’d give them…the one time with Donnie’s tennis ball massage machine was but a short moment of what Leo’s been missing out on and what he’ll continue missing out on…)
I don’t know, I just think it’d be cute to think Leo could have honed his massaging skill this way in order to help out his family (and also partially because he wants a massage himself.)
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#this unironically is a smidge pointing to the medic Leo headcanon too#because massages are really good at relieving pain you didn’t even know you had#not just for backs but for your hands your feet your neck#poor Leo just wants to be the one getting a massage for once in ‘Bad Hair Day’ but no#he’s really good at getting everyone else to chill and rest and relax in general it’s very interesting to see#unironically I wonder if Leo could be really good at meditation so long as you call it relaxation instead#also after the invasion I’d imagine everyone has some aches and pains#ironically enough Leo himself likely has the most from the sheer amount of blunt force trauma and potential broken bones#so it’s sad to think the one who massages best is the one who needs it most alas#imagine a time where Draxum finally manages to get on Leo’s good side and Leo hears him complaining that his cafeteria job gives back pains#and Leo’s like UGH FINE I GUESS I’LL HELP#I also like to think that for all they tease Raph for his ‘chasm’ Leo sometimes will massage Raph’s face#and when he does Raph finally relaxes enough to look his age#when Mikey starts growing hair he loves when Leo massages his scalp esp if he’s helping to wash it too#mayhem doesn’t like Leo much at first but QUICKLY warms up to him because of how good his pets are#smart lair shows they all canonically love massages actually I was reminded! so this makes even more sense with that too
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Finally. After over 5 hours with little to no breaks, I finally finished it. I really wanted to do something different and attempt digital art with a wrinky dink setup and this is the results. Our fav readerbot as my subject of course lol.
Check out the story where this silly lil guy is from by @bones-of-a-rabbit
Hope you enjoy it, please, my back is fucked up from this.
#artists on tumblr#illustration#aftereverythingwasfixed#after everything was fixed fic#after everything was fixed (but you were still broken)#art#artwork#art tag#drawing#my art#fnaf#five nights at freddys#fivenightsatfreddysfanart#sun and moon security breach#moondrop fnaf#staff bot#readerbot au#readerbot fanfic#readerbot#back pain#digital art#fnaf fanart#fanart#fanfic#fnaf security breach#five nights at freddy's security breach#security breach#fnaf superstar daycare#moon fnaf#fnaf moon
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Cooper Howard & Lucy MacLean | Betrayal
#fallout#fallout prime#cooper howard#the ghoul#lucy maclean#fallout tv#fallouttvgifs#the PARALLELS between this and episode 7 is just *chef's kiss*#cannot wait for the two to have to parse through this stuff looking each other#staring into broken mirrors in all it's wretched painful truths#maybe they'll find some comfort in that within each other amongst the desolate wasteland#UGHHHHH#ghoulcy
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Stolitz, and their fear of rejection and sense of worthlessness turning into a self-fulfilled prophecy.
Blitz—
Does anybody love you, Blitzo? / No.
Eventually everyone goes...
Stolas only cares about having a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his mattress. It's nothing... You know. It's nothing else.
I'm going to die alone, aren't I? Just a wrinkly, old, withered waste.
Royal demons don't give a shit about guys like us. They're all the fucking same.
Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you. You make that really clear all the time.
But you don't want to do things alone, Blitzo.
I mean, Stolas is just a loud, thirsty bitch who loves feeling the thrill of being dicked by the lower class. It's a novelty to him.
And then he'll call me and try to see how my day was, and he'll pretend to care about me, and comment on my photos, and laugh at my jokes... /Oh well that's definitely your clue right there that it's all bullshit / I know, right?!
It's all my fault. I'd hate me too. I mean, I do hate—
You're going to die alone. You're gonna die alone, Blitzo.
[My worst fear has come true. He couldn't possibly want me. This has to be a joke. He's selfish and an asshole, just like the rest of them. He's trying to get rid of me; that's the only explanation. I'm just a broken toy he's finally gotten bored of, just like I knew would happen. He won't even fight for me, and why would he? I could never be good enough for him. It's happening again. I'm being abandoned by someone I care about. I really am going to die alone.]
Stolas—
Would he want me if he was free? And if he's only here as a prisoner, what kind of monster does that make me?
I mite b bsuy / I wouldn't want to bother you!
You see... I seem to have found myself with, um. Feelings for him. And I'm not sure if it's a mutual thing.
Dearest, I know better now, I must give you this choice.
I'll save us both before we grow cold.
What's between you and I? Just a comfortable lie.
I'm sorry it's a bad time yet again, Blitzy...
He deserves the choice to stay or go.
So I'll grant you this mercy, this bind on our souls needs to end...
Next time you come over, maybe we can talk about what happened at Ozzie's? / Y? / I'm sorry! Nevermind, it's not a big deal.
What's left for me and my broken heart if I cannot have you? Unless it's me, and no matter what in this world I could give, it's not enough to get through the walls you've conjured up to live...
I'll believe him, and not the voice that says I'm not enough.
I'll fucking die alone if this goes bad!
[My worst fear has come true. I truly am not worthy of being loved. He's rejecting me— no, mocking me for even thinking he could ever want to be with me if he didn't need my book. I've been taking advantage of him all this time, all the while believing we had something real and being naive enough to think he could love me back. I am a monster. And now that he can, he has chosen to leave me. So now the least I can do is quietly let him—the only person I have ever wanted and felt alive with—go. I really am going to die alone.]
#helluva boss#helluva boss spoilers#helluva boss the full moon#stolitz#blitz helluva boss#helluva boss blitz#stolas helluva boss#helluva boss stolas#helluva boss full moon#helluva boss meta#More or less?#image description in alt#I am sorry for inflicting pain but I simply cannot suffer alone#They both think they're being rejected when truly they're both desperate to be enough for the other#But as soon as they give the other a chance to say 'I want you too'#(Stolas with his heartfelt confession; Blitz with his 'hold on Stolas' and his 'LET'S GO!')#The other immediately goes 'oh so I was right. He really actually does not want me around. Just like I feared#And acts accordingly. Which just cements the other's belief that what's happening is just a very cruel and mocking rejection#HE'S NOT REJECTING YOU HE'S REACHING OUT SAYING 'WILL YOU LOVE ME ENOUGH TO TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL' YOU IDIOT#<- me at BOTH of them#Their trauma is so well written I am in awe always and forever. Every step of the way. Their brokenness heals me.#It's going to be so cathartic when they grow to understand one another's perspective
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I would say today has been a bad day.
But that's been every day for quite a while now.
#worthless#empty#tired#useless#i want to die#i hate myself#i'm sorry#pain#alone#anxiety#self harm#suicidal#sad#depression#heartbreak#hurt#hopeless#kill me#lost#lonely#broken#numb#not good enough#personal
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"See you tomorrow"
MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 4 [prev parts]
#better drawn mdzs#MDZS Disco Elysium AU#mdzs au#Lan wangji#wei wuxian#yiling laozu#Happy Belated Halloween!#digital art#Thank you all for your patience as I drove myself into a madness only known by those lost at seas alone.#I put a lot of time into this one! It's not perfect but I am very happy with it + I am so happy to put down the tablet pen.#Digital art has some nice features but I'm sticking with traditional! I need a month to recover from the 2+ weeks of torture.#Okay lets talk about the AU and the comic now#Disco elysium has some of the best existential-horror-dream sequences I have ever seen.#The dialogue here is heavily inspired by The Final Dream - A scene I'd love to talk about more were it not so heavy with spoilers.#My AU is a lot more complex than a simple character swap but I really felt like LWJ + YLLZ fit this scene.#The final dream is about being unable to move on from a lost love. From something You made holy. From something You ruined.#It is about realizing that no matter how smart you are or what you offer or how you try to change -#You will never be able to turn back time. You will never ever be able to fix what is broken. That you also have been broken for a long time#You are a fuck-up who worships the nail covered ground of someone who did not want to be holy. And even though it hurts-#You cannot let this nightmare go. The pain keeps the love close. It is worse to forget. You promised to remember.#WWX died thinking LWJ disliked him. LWJ lost someone he thought was revolted by his love.
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how it started
how it's going :')
#have I been broken-hearted all night? yes; yes I have! :D#stolitz#helluva boss#hellaverse#helluva boss spoilers#stolitzo#the full moon#vivziepop#vivienne medrano#helluva boss stolas#helluva boss blitz#STILL IN PAIN MAN#STILL IN PAIN
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LA MODERNA ― E203
#la moderna#laurita x celia#mine#heart: BROKEN!!!!!!!!!!!#no this scene was so painful to watch#seeing celia crying like that :'(
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Joke has always been a silent crier.
Maybe it's because of his childhood trauma, growing up in a family where crying would be seen as a weakness and another thing to be taunted about, but he always puts on a brave facade in front of the world and never lets anyone see his tears. He always tries to cover his mouth to silence his sobs.
In ep 2, when he thought that the sweet boy who believed in all the goodness in world was long gone, he shed a silent tear.
In ep 7, when he had his heart broken, he tried to fake a smile for grandma. It was later when he was alone that he let his tears out.
Even in this episode, at the hospital, though he breaks down, he tries to silence his sobs and control his tears.
So, imagine the pain this man is going through when he literally lies down on the floor and starts sobbing inconsolably. He's breathless and has to be taken care of by Aran and Hoy.
#jack and joker#jack & joker#jack & joker u steal my heart#yinwar#yin anan#war wanarat#jackjoke#this episode has broken me through and through#i don't think i have been this affected by a show ever#i can feel the pain in my chest
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Question about tattoos, if that's alright! If not, please feel free to ignore this. I have four tattoos, but none were handpokes. I've always been curious about getting one done, perhaps across my hand. Is it truly so painless as you described in the comic? Can you find a professional artist willing to do them? I had one tell me that none would, which was disappointing. Thank you for your time ❤️
based on my experience - YES. it was maybe 2/10 pain for me, it hurt less than getting my ears pierced. it takes a long time and you can kind of feel your skin like. popping. which is a bit weird. i can't say anything about the most painful areas for tattoos but to compare, i have one on my inner bicep next to one of my more painful machine tattoos and i hardly felt the handpoke at all.
you can ABSOLUTELY find professional handpoke artists!!! the idea that you can only get them in someone's dirty basement is outdated, most handpoke artists work in studios and they can be just as clean and professional as machine tattoos. also you can have a nice nap which you don't usually get with most tattoos
#ramble#disclaimer this is MY experience!!!#but also i've never been in like. SEVERE pain#like i've never broken a bone or been seriously injured#i think my wrist tattoo is one of my most painful experiences#so even for me my handpokes weren't that painful and my pain tolerance is uhh. not GREAT#so i would def recommend#do your research and make sure it's a legit person but also. you should be doing that for any tattoo you get anyway#also i said i would never get one for YEARS bc it freaked me out too much but then i finally did it and i loved it#if i get any more finger tattoos i'm going to go to a handpoke artist because my machine tattoos hurt like hell
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