#broken door

[deuxcherise]

Collar Crimes: Self-Preservations

C/w: Unhealthy behavior, OCs, yandere male, tsundere male, kidnapping, violence against doors, slight fluff (?), slight comfort (?), reader insert, gender neutral reader, includes a picture of cutting board with fruits and a knife (you’ll see why~).

A/n: So! Back with another chapter for Collar Crimes. I had a plan originally to introduce another yandere in this chapter, but the build-up here is quite delicious in my opinion so I’ll save the introduction for whenever the time comes. Basically a tiny time-skip from the last chapter because I was thinking that the problem was that everything that was happening to you, the reader, takes too little time between each “event” so to speak, so yeah! Also exploring some of your personal life outside of Eris and friends. Enjoy~!

Masterlist | Part 5, Part 6 (you’re here!), Part 7

It has been about a month since the Family Portrait incident and life has returned to normal…

But what would be considered abnormal at this point?

Briiing! Briiing! Tch.

“Hello~ This is Lychee speaking~ How may I sweeten up your day today?” you sing into the phone.

“Sweetheart~ I’ve missed you sooooo much!” the caller answers.

Although no one besides your coworkers can see your face, you resist the urge to roll your eyes at yet another cringey lovey-dovey line of your newest client. That nickname is one of the many roles you’ve had to take on.

“Darling”, “honey”, “sweetie”, “sweet talker”, “beautiful”,  “my special”, “youngster”, “lady”, “sir”, “ma’am”, “dad”-

Sometimes, you get called even more vulgar things you do not wish to recall at the moment. But whatever the customer wants, the customer gets— you play the role, they pay your bills. Can't really complain.

Of course, your mind echoes, no one could beat the way Eris calls you “lov-

You slam your head against your desk, producing a loud bang. Your client on the line worriedly exclaims, “S-sweetheart? What was that?”

You clear your throat, fingers tenderly pressed against the sore area on your forehead. “N-nothing at all, dear~ I just accidentally dropped a heavy stapler. It’s been a long day, ah…”

Speaking of that guy, ever since he dropped you off at home and went, you haven’t seen him around. Specifically, only physically, seeing as your fridge is still stocked with fresh meals. Still, the lack of his dopey smiling face for a whole month straight is… concerning.

“Aww~ My sweetheart is working so hard… I’ll tell you what. Tonight, I’ll take you to the fanciest restaurant in the city, okay? My treat.”

Wow. Such a grand gesture. This client really enjoys roleplaying some rich savior. Kind of like-  “Ehhh? Don’t worry about it. And besides, I’m working pretty late tonight so… ”

“Noooo! You can’t refuse,” your client says. “I’ll march right up to your company and kidnap you away myself if I have to.”

“Pffft. Don’t make that kind of joke, Ren,” you fake laugh. Dear lord, if only the police were more reliable in this godforsaken city…

“Ah~ I really like it when you say my name. Do it again.”

“Ren?”

“Again. But more lovely.”

“Ren~” you repeat with a soft and breathy tone.

The caller on the phone giggles maniacally before they bid you goodbye with lots of kisses and other corny romantic lines, making you shiver. You hang up the phone with a little force and release a heavy sigh as you slouch back against your chair. One of your coworkers leans back far on her own chair to show her face past the divider between your desks.

“Long daaay?” she asks.

Eye closed, you nod. “Mmhm.”

…..

Sensing eyes on you, you open your own and turn towards your coworker, who looks like she’s a soda can about to burst. You almost laugh. “Yes?”

She puckers up her lip, humming, “Mmm… ya know~ The usual? Can I? Please?”

You mentally prepare yourself and shrug. “Yeah. Sure.”

“Yay!” She celebrates with both arms raised before she takes a deep breath. “So-”

-----

“-or not? Like how do I know if she really loves me? What do you think, (Y/n)?”

Truth be told, you might have zoned out after twenty minutes before zoning back in during the last few minutes of the hour-long rant. Shockingly, not a single call came in to interrupt the conversation. “Uh… so what’s the problem again?” you ask. “Didn’t she already agree to date you?”

“I know,” Cherry insists, throwing her hands up in defeat. “But I'm still so worried. Like what if she looks at someone else and finds them better than me? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO COMPARE??? SHE IS A GODDESS, I TELL YOU. I AM NOTHING BUT A DISGUSTING BUG THAT NEEDS TO STEPPED ON OR SO HELP ME-”

You keep silent as she releases her passion out loud, much to the detriment of your other coworkers. Your other coworker, Azure, sat on your other side, leans back on his chair to join the conversation. “Hey, Cherry. If you’re this crazy about your girlfriend now, what’s gonna happen when you finally marry her?” he chuckles.

She quiets and turns towards Azure slowly like one of those possessed dolls, tears beading at the bottom of her eyes and crooked grin on her lips. “Ohoho… Well… If I had it my way…” She looks up thoughtfully and wraps her arms around her body. “I’d lock her up with me in our house and we’d stay in bed all day. Just me and my honey~ Isn’t that a wonderful idea?”

Old memories of a familiar dynamic bleed into your head, sending a shiver up your spine. That’s a horrible idea, you want to comment, but your voice doesn’t leave your tightened throat. Instead, what comes out is: “Uh… uh…

“Doesn’t your girlfriend like being outside though?” Azure points out.

Cherry tilts her head, still smiling. “Um... Yeah?”

“So if you keep her inside all day, won’t she come to hate you?”

Cherry’s maniacal face shatters into terror. “I… I…” Her pupils begin to tremble. “Could that happen? Could that really, really happen?”

“Oh, absolutely,” Azure responds. “If you love someone, you have to let them have the freedom to come and go. If they love you, they’ll stay. If they don’t, then let them go.”

Wow… that’s a really mature-

“Then again,” His voice then becomes more dark and gravelly, “You never know who’s just waiting to come in out of nowhere and sweep them off their feet. Relationships are… a delicate balance, of giving and taking. If your girlfriend wanders around too much, maybe you should keep her on a tight leash. I know I would…”

You stare at him and then your eyes move towards the solid, light blue top of your desk where your keyboard lies. Perhaps it may be because of your age or because of the recent chaos you’ve experienced, that you’ve started to notice these little things. Like how some of the keys on your keyboard that you use a lot are a little lower than the ones you typically don’t use. Or how there are tiny, tiny imperfections on the surface of your desk that you don’t feel at all when you pass your fingers across. Like how far back you and your coworkers have to lean back just to see each other past the deep dividers, just like how you’ve never noticed how… odd they were before despite working here for about five years now.

What exactly attracted Eris to you in the first place? Is it the same as what attracted your ex? What about you exactly causes the attraction, because you would really like to stop being a magnet for all of these weirdos, romantic or platonic!

…..

Well, one weirdo is okay. When he’s not annoyingly clingy, Eris’s… a decent person. Like when you’d come home after a long, hard day, he greets you at the door with that dopey smile of his. He’d draw a bath for you or massage your shoulders. Then he’d present and serve a dish he spent all day cooking. And then dessert. And then tuck you in for the night, making sure the AC is at the optimal temperature to sleep comfortably and cozy.

…..

You groan. Maybe it’s better this way. You’ll get used to being by yourself again, just like after you left…  Besides, it was getting annoying having to endure his warm hugs and sweet whispers all the time…

“(Y/n)!?” Cherry shrieks after you bang your head on your desk again.

Azure snickers. “You must be thinking of lover boy, huh?”

You glare at him through your eyes and voice, your ever-present blank expression lending no assistance. “No. Say that again and I’ll stick my foot up your ass, Blueberry.”

You can visibly see his shoulders shake as he smirks, containing his laughter. “I really can’t take you seriously when you have such a straight face.” He settles down with an amused sigh, a look of concern replacing his smirk. “But seriously, you seem kind of… I dunno. Out of it lately.”

You wrinkle your eyebrows. “... Really?”

“Yeah! Azure’s right. Even your Lychee voice is lacking that… that sparkle-sparkle quality,” Cherry adds, mimicking fireworks with her hands. “Are you okay, (Y/n)? You’re even banging your head…” Her red eyes go wide. “You’re not trying to erase memories of those perverted callers, are you!? THERE ARE BETTER WAYS-”

“I’m sure that’s not what (Y/n)’s trying to do, right? ‘Cause if you need forgetting,” Azure says, patting your back before taking out a black bat with skulls and x’s patterned all over it from under his desk, “all you just need to do is ask. I’ll help you out for free, courtesy as a fellow Fruity Friend~”

“Yeah…” You ignore the happy-murderer look on Azure’s face, sit up straight, and place both of your hands on your desk with determination. “You know what? I think I need a vacation.”

Cherry and Azure gasp. “A vacation!?” 

Indeed… You stand up from your desk with such vigor it elicits a second gasp from them and walk straight towards the manager’s office. A vacation is exactly what I need. Away from this job. Away from my apartment. Away from all of these crazy people!!!

-----

“YOU CAN’T, (Y/N)! PLEASE, YOU CAN’T GO ON VACATION. YOU’RE ONE OF OUR BEST CALLERS! Y-YOU KNOW WHAT?? HOW ABOUT I RAISE YOUR SALARY, HUH?”

You click your tongue. “You can’t buy me with mon-”

“I’ll raise your salary to XXXXXX.”

“.....”

-----

You close the office door behind you with a sigh. Looking next to you, you find Cherry and Azure waiting with bated breath, making the questioning gesture with their palms up to receive the verdict.

“So?” Cherry speaks, her pouty lips making an ‘o’.

You simply answer with a shrug, “I got a pay raise.”

The two of them drop their arms and groan. “I knew it,” Azure sighs, burying his face in his hands. “The money’s too good to quit!”

While you failed to acquire approval for vacation, you’re not feeling too bad considering your income has just upgraded from rent money and leftover takeout to rent money and luxurious restaurant dine-in and leftovers. Though, with your fridge stocked, you suppose you could apply the extra funds towards other things…

But what things? you wonder. Other than a place to live, something to eat, and the bathroom, there is not much you desire nowadays. Once upon a time, you would’ve slobbered over luxury brand items and all that stuff… You found out the hard way that all the sparkling opulence in the world couldn’t afford you any warmth and comfort in a cold, restrictive cage.

Out of an old habit you haven’t gotten rid of, you start to caress your left ring finger with your right index finger and thumb. “Riiight?” you agree, bitterly.

-----

With the end of the work day, employees of Fruity Friends bid their adieus to each other and  either set foot home or to an outing. You, Azure, and Cherry head out of the doors of your company building and down the stairs onto the sidewalk.

“C’mooon! Are you sure you don’t want to join us?” Cherry whines, behind you with hands on your shoulders.

“Yeah, gonna go home,” you answer, shoulders wobbling from side-to-side with each step. “Wanna sleep.”

Azure snickers on the side. “What are you? A senior citizen?”

“Hardy har har,” you laugh unenthusiastically, gently brushing Cherry’s hands off your shoulder. “You guys go on ahead without me, okay? Have fun.”

At that moment, a black limousine with tinted black windows drives up the curb and stops into front of you three. The chauffeur comes out, a middle-aged man with salt and pepper hair, dressed in a fancy chauffeur outfit, and gestures towards you before greeting, “Good afternoon, dear esteemed guest of the Ermine Family. We are here to escort you to your dinner reservation with our eldest son, Eris Ermine.”

You stare like a deer in headlights. “Huh?”

Azure and Cherry look between you and the chauffeur before teasing you with an, “Ooooooh!”

“Wow~ fancy, fancy~” Cherry nudges you with her elbow.

“Got a dinner date with lover boy, huh~?” Azure nudges you on your other side.

They said Eris, but… “I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong person,” you say, jabbing your coworkers with your own elbows at their sides to make them stop.

The chauffeur shakes his head. “I do believe we have the right person. You are (Y/n) (M/n) (L/n), are you not?”

You almost click your tongue, but don’t out of manners. You haven’t seen that stupid guy in over a month and now he suddenly sends someone to pick you up? That’s so… unlike him.

“I’m not. I’ve been mistaken for that person before. Good day,” you say, grabbing your coworkers by the shoulders and dragging off. Your coworkers luckily get the memo and decide to go along without resistance.

“My deepest apologies, dear (L/n),” the chauffeur says, pulling the visor of his hat slightly downward. “I was informed by Mr. Ermine that if you do not come willingly, we are required to use force if needed.”

Goosebumps race along your skin upon his words, sending you into high gear as you grab your coworkers by arms and pull them into a run, managing only a few feet before to get pulled down by the weight of your coworkers. Looking at them in confusion, you find little fuzzy-ended darts embedded into the back of their necks. Before you can scream or make a move, gloved arms cover your mouth and wrap around your body, lifting you up into the air and towards the limousine. Struggle as you might, your restrained punches and kicks have no effect on the kidnappers.

After you get thrown into the backseat of the limousine, you immediately try to get up and out only for the door to slam shut. The push button is immediately locked, trapping you inside. You hear the chauffeur getting to the driver’s seat. Making a last ditch attempt, you throw yourself against the windows, the side windows and the tinted window separating you and the chauffeur, but your effort is vain and all you end up with are two bruised shoulders. Punching against the glass, you screaming, “LET ME OUT OR I SWEAR TO GOD I- I- I'LL-”

Tssshhhh…

“Apologies, dear guest” the chauffeur merely says, as you begin to lose consciousness from the gas leaking into the backseat. The last thing you hear from him is, “This is just business.”

-----🔔-----

For newcomers who would dare set foot in the city of Agobury, it is highly advised to pay close attention to where their foot lands. Any one spot could be the right step into the right places, or tossed into the water for the wild piranhas to eat.

…..

Most of the inhabitants of the city live on paved streets like the classy folk they are, and no one has the time to dig six feet down at the edge of the city for some nobody's corpse to rot in. Make sense?

Of course, as humor goes, there is no clear distinction or indication for which streets belong to who. To an outside, that is. It is often said that only those born and raised in Agobury can survive in Agobury. And those who used to live in Agobury… Well, nobody talks about them, get the gist?

However, if an outsider does somehow manage to succeed in assimilating into the city, then it is often said that they have made a deal with the Devil. The May Devils, to be exact, who are rumored to own more than half of the city. The other half is supposedly scattered between smaller organizations, but they too warrant respect or fear by their own right.

“Or so they say,” Ollie murmurs, arms crossed as he leans against the wall.

He stands up straight and looks at his best friend, who’s humming a tune while placing a tin full of batter into the oven. This scene of Eris dressed up in a pink apron decorated with red hearts and matching oven mitts goes against Eris’s typical image, prompting him to demand, “What the hell are you doing? Training to be a malewife or something?”

Eris snaps out of his daydreams and looks over. “Hm? Oh! Nah, I suggested that to my lover already and they refused. And this, I'm just baking a cake for my six-month relationship milestone~”

“Oh.” Ollie deadpans. “That's a thing?”

“Uh, yeah?” Eris answers as if Ollie just asked if the sky was blue. He takes off his oven mitts and tosses them on the counter before prepping the washed fruits on a cutting board. “So make sure your men take extra care in delivering this one, mkay? I'll kill them if my lover gets a mess.”

Ollie tosses a glance behind himself, taking note of the stone walls and surprisingly mahogany-plated bolted steel door separating this room from the rest of the world. Of course, there is a guard waiting outside to help him get in and out, and several cameras to serve as extras eyes in case of an emergency, but he knows better than anyone that even with the room being several hundred feet underground and locked behind several dozens of thick, reinforced steel gateways, it all wouldn’t be enough to keep Eris cooped up here.

In fact, for the last four weeks, Eris has turned what used to be an empty stone-covered haunted looking basement into a cozy home for himself, and having Ollie’s men deliver the goods. To be fair, the May Devils probably gave the weasel some furniture and a usable kitchen just to keep the violent man occupied and placated with the lack of windows and any access to the outside world. So million dollar question is-

“Why haven’t you broken out yet?” Ollie asks. “I thought you'd put up more of a fight.”

Eris pops a blueberry into his mouth to test out if it's sweet or not. Finding it at the right level of sweetness, he hums in delight as he imagines you happily enjoying this same sweetness.

“Oh, that. Well… y’know your parents visited me a few days ago and gave me some advice. They said that distance makes the heart grow fonder. I don't exactly agree with that since I feel like I'm dying every day I don’t see my lover,” Eris says with a smile on his face though his eyes are dark and his chopping of the apples is audibly sharp as if to emphasize the point. “But your parents have been married for so long and have many children together and they still clearly love each other, so I trust them.”

The same parents who have been urging me to make a move on (Y/n) ever since you’ve been locked up, Ollie almost wants to add out of spite. Almost. Trust is truly a fragile commodity around these parts.

“Besides, I gotta stay away for a while,” Eris continues. “I didn’t realize the flies around my lover were devils.”

“Huh… How kind of you.” And out-of-character! The Eris he knew didn't care about consequences. What kind of sorcery have you casted on that beast of a weasel? Not that Ollie himself hasn't been bewitched somewhat, if he had to be honest… 

Eris’s expression turns wicked with a condescending smirk. “Oh, right. You probably don’t understand ‘cause you haven’t fallen in love yet. My bad~ ” he teases.

One of Ollie’s eyes twitches. “I'll have you know-”

“That our Ollie has fallen in love~”

Eris turns and Ollie twists around to find Ollie's mother, who has appeared out of nowhere along with Ollie's father in tow.

“Mother!? Father!? What are you doing here?” Ollie exclaims.

Ollie's mother pouts and places her hands on her hips. “We can't visit our son and his best friend?”

“Well, that's-”

“But anyway~” Ollie's mother waves her hand, cutting Ollie off. “Our dear Ollie has fallen in love, dear Eris. Unfortunately, it is…” She places a hand over heart and the other over her forehead in a dramatic pose with fluttering eyes. “A forbidden love,” she finishes. Ollie's father nods, placing a hand over his heart and looking forlorn to emphasize the drama.

“Again!? You two, stop it!” Ollie pleads.

Eris crooks an eyebrow in disbelief. “Forbidden love? Ollie?”

Ollie turns back to Eris, fear in his wide eyes. He wouldn't call what he felt for you… “love” as his parents keep telling him, but… it might be… something close to it. Maybe. Despite having the back of his head slammed against the wooden floor of your apartment, he still hasn't forgotten how your heavenly happy face made his heart skip a beat-

Ollie would be hard-pressed to call that “love”. It’s not! He barely knows you. It's like, uh, like admiring a beautiful piece of art, okay?? Art prompts feelings. That's what it's supposed to do!

But there's no possible way he could share and work out these feelings with Eris or anyone else without getting beat up or made fun of. Damn it… “It's not love!” Ollie insists.

Eris snorts. “Okay.”

Ding!

“Oh! My cake!” Eris chirps, forgetting about the other people in the room in favor of bringing out the cake and prepping the frosting and icing for when it cools down.

Ollie's mother wraps an arm around Ollie’s shoulder to keep him in place as she leans towards Ollie's ear and whispers behind a hand, “I see you've already made a move on our dear (Y/n). How devious~”

“What??” Ollie shouts in shock.

Eris looks over curiously. Blocking his view is Ollie’s father, who flops a hand up and down as if to say, “Don't mind them.” The unsuspecting weasel nods in understanding before Ollie’s father points to the bowl of cream in Eris’s hands, which prompts Eris to explain the whole six month relationship milestone thing while the mother-and-son duo are scheming in the background.

Ollie's cheeks are being squished almost to the point of painful by his mother’s fingers. “Since when have you decided to raise your voice at your mother?” she jokes menacingly before she releases his cheeks and drags him out of the room and through one gateway. Once that gateway shut, his mother crosses her arms with a pout. “What's with that reaction earlier, hm?”

Ollie only looks at her incredulously. “Mother! One, I'm not interested in-” He whispers, trying to avoid his voice from being picked up by the cameras in the hallway. “(Y/n) like that. Two, they’re Eris's lover and I like living, thank you very much. And three, I haven't made any kind of moves.”

“Eh?” She looks at him with confusion. “Well, first of all, there’s no ring so you still have a chance. Secondly, everyone knows, besides Eris, that you’re interested in them so might as well make your move-”

Ollie chokes on his tongue. “Huh-”

“And three, how come you made the reservation for Eris and his lover if you’re not attending?” his mother asks.

Ollie's eyebrows furrowed. “I didn't make any reservations for them. Did you?”

“No…?”

The two go back inside the basement and interrogate Eris, who is in the middle of deciding what color to make the frosting. Ollie’s father, on the other hand, is assisting with coming up with potential designs for the cake, utilizing parchment paper and colored frosting.

“Huh? I didn't make any dinner reservations?” Eris says, confused before his eyes begin to light up. “Wait, are those devils letting me go?”

“No. But if you didn't make any reservations, then who is your lover going with?”

“You weren't joking?” Eris's voice goes shrill. His eyes panically jolt all over the place until a particular thought enters his mind. He slaps the palm of his hand against his forehead and groans.

Without needing a word, Ollie’s own eyes widen in horror. “It's not who I think it is, right?”

“Ah, could it be?” Ollie's mother wonders aloud, a person on her mind. Ollie's father tilts his head before his own eyes widen.

“DAMN IT!” Eris roars, slamming a fist on the counter before grabbing the knife and storming towards the door.

Ollie tries to stop him. “Eris, you can't-”

Eris sends the steel door flying with one kick. The impact against the parallel wall shatters the beautiful mahogany-plating instantly, leaving only a bent door collapsed on the wall, much to Ollie’s horror. 

This particular door was only as thick as probably two doors. The rest of the reinforced doors standing in Eris’s way, well…

WOOOO! WOOOO! WOOOO!

The alarm goes off, signaling to the May Devil's security team to come take down their most dangerous prisoner who's on his way to you.

Ollie pinches the bridge of his nose. “Why is it always the mahogany…”

[whats-in-a-sentence]

Rushing over it we found ourselves in the inner room.

"The Illustrated Sherlock Holmes Treasury" - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

[kaal-naagin]

Door to nowhere

Tagging: @guzzarishh @waywardmorgann ​​ @swayamev ​​ @voidsteffy ​​@iams99 @lazydreamer19 ​ @enigma-the-mysterious ​ @sanskari-kanya @mooonboy ​@jukti-torko-golpo @just-another-godless-god @witchhere

[mars-aint-a-planet]

My door was already broken due to the last sales guy. boi, you guys are getting way too aggressive!

>Breaks down your door

Hey!! Did you watch Cosmic Wonders Ep. 1 Yet?

You can give it a lil look over here, right now

I’ll fix your door if you do

[lovekenney]

[dreamsofannpc]

08/17/23 Four Dreams in One Night

In the first dream, I am in a room with my twin, my uncle J & my dad. I don't realize my dad is there, and in frustration or anger, I bite the TV remote in my hand. It gives way, and a piece snaps off, and then a little smoke comes out of the remote. I check, and it still works with the TV, but because neither my twin nor I are sober, I tell her to lie with me and say the remote fell and a piece broke off. But my dad is literally in the same room and asks what's wrong with the remote. I confess what I did and ask if he'll take me to pay for a new one.

In the second dream, I'm driving somewhere at night. There's a horrible storm happening with lots of heavy rain, wind, thunder & lightning. I'm nervous but I want to get home as soon as possible. At some point, it feels like I'm driving through the storm clouds because I don't see the road or anything else.

In the third dream, an apocalypse has happened. I don't remember what caused it, but I know I was not a good person. I remember luring people into my house to kill them, but I can't remember why. One of these people is Claudette from Dead by Daylight or looks a lot like her. All I remember is seeing her walk around my house, lost, and I beckon her to come in. She seems unsure at first but trusts me eventually. Then I remember us sitting together in my basement, then nothing.

In the fourth dream, I'm in a house with a bunch of cousins and relatives. I go to my room to change but my door is broken. It does not give me full privacy anymore. My twin and a lady relative block the door so I can change. I thank them, and then my twin and I start settling in this room to go to sleep.

Morning mood: Good

[jhsharman]

The Electronic Robot

I think the matter of getting entertainment product back would take a back seat to noting a destructive robot on the rampage.

[choccy-milky]

merry christmas !🎅❤️💚

[kikker-oma]

Art for Chapter 1 of "Travel Through the Darkness" by @mariasparrow ! (Also happy late birthday🎉)

Hope you like it❤️

[hotdogmchiggin]

Aw shit they put the horrors of late stage capitalism into my Pokémon Mystery Dungeon 😔

(Mostly) Based on the mouthwashing dev QnA about each character’s favorite Pokémon. Couldn’t get the idea of throwing them into PMD out of my head.

Typical job at the Poke Express Guild:

Some more bonus drawings below

Jimmy secretly wishes he was a mega rayquaza but he’s just a poser who’s obsessed with pikachu’s popularity and position as the mascot. So. A mimikyu.

Daisuke is a zorua because it’s the closest to weregarurumon and I think it matches his vibes. Just a guy who causes a little bit o mischief here n there :)

I did make Daisukes weregarurumon wishes come true (No mega rayquaza for jim)

I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do with the background so I threw them into the dungeon. WOE upon ye

[deuxcherise]

Collar Crimes: Pop Goes the Weasel

C/w: Unhealthy behavior, OCs, yandere male, tsundere male, violence against doors, car ride, slight fluff (?), slight comfort (?), reader insert, gender neutral reader, includes a picture of hospital hallway (you’ll see why~)

A/n: So I decided to post the original chapter that was going to go after chapter 4, basically the in-between before the next event. If you happen to read the author’s note in the next chapter after I post this, it’s gonna be a little confusing but rest assured the plot itself is flowing in the right direction. As for those who been following up until now, thanks for keeping up! :D

Masterlist | Part 4, Part 5 (you’re here!), Part 6

The last time you went to the hospital… was probably when you were born?

Do- doon!

“Nurse, to Room 103.”

What an eventful day- night- day- Oh, who are you kidding?

You lean against the backing of the bench, letting your cotton-filled head hang back and rest against the wall.

Right after Eris and his stupid friend returned your family portrait safe and sound, you urged Eris to immediately rush Ollie to the nearest hospital to make sure he didn't accidentally kill his friend with his strength.

Which begs the question as to why you're here, instead of sleeping the rest of the night at home? Work starts in a few hours…

You slap a hand over the top half of your face and drag it downwards as you groan.

Hospitals are the worst.

You lean forward and hold your hand in your hands, thinking about your next actions.

Just when my life was beginning to be peaceful… Well… At least, it can’t get any worse than this, right?

“Hey, you okay there?” a voice asks from in front of you.

“Uh-huh,” you answer, face still hidden. Must be one of the staff or a passing empathetic visitor.

The voice hums. “Doesn’t really look like it. Ya sure?”

“Yep,” you pop the ‘p’ for emphasis.

“Ya suuuure?”

“... Yessss…?”

“Reaaaally?”

You let your hands fall from your face, resting your elbows on your thighs, but you don’t lift your head. “Yeah. Listen, I just… I want to be left alone right now.”

“M’kay.”

The owner of the voice plops down right next to you on the bench and begins swinging their legs despite how their feet can reach the floor. A casual dresser, with jeans and sneakers. like Eris. 

What a weirdo.

…..

Minutes of silence pass, before it is broken. 

“So~ What’s got your panties in a twist?”

You purse your lips. “.....”

“Hm?”

“.....”

“Hey.”

“.....”

“Hey!”

“.....”

“Hey, I know you heard me.”

“... What part of ‘leave me alone’, don’t you understand?” you mutter.

“Mm… Sure, but it sounds to me like you don’t want to be left alone right now, though?”

Good lord, this guy is almost as annoying as Eris. “I’m pretty sure I know what I want, and right now I want to be left alone.”

“M’kay~”

…..

“So, do you want to talk about it?”

You groan, facepalming. Even when Eris is not in vicinity to invade your space, there just has to be another, doesn’t there? First it was Ollie, and now it’s this stranger. What did you do to deserve this?

“... Not really.”

“Why not?”

“... Like I said. Leave. Me. Alone.”

“You know, they say talking things out loud helps.”

You take a moment. “... Fine,” you acquiesce. “A… friend of mine accidentally hit a friend of his hard enough to knock him out, and right now my friend is in the room, waiting for his friend to wake up. There. Happy?”

“Oh, okay… and what are you doing?”

“Waiting.”

“Oh okay.”

…..

“That’s it?”

You tilt your head side to side. “Yeah. What else is there to do?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” you hear him shrug by the swishing of his clothes. “Go home?”

You roll your eyes. “I can’t just go home.”

“Why not?”

That… is a good point. Why are you here? You don’t have any reason to really care about that cat burglar, but… “I… I have to know if my friend’s friend is doing okay.”

“Huh…” the voice pauses for a moment. “Why? You like your friend’s friend romantically or something?”

You scoff. You and Ollie? “Please! As if. I barely just met the guy like yesterday night. He’s a thieving asshole, for all I know. I’m just worried for him. As a person.”

“Oh.” The voice seems to ruminate on some thoughts. “... OH. Then you must like your friend, right? The one that punched his friend.”

You pause. You and Eris? The guy who became obsessed with you when you were just barely a voice on the phone with a fake personality? The guy who broke into your house at 3AM just to bake you a cake for your birthday that nobody else remembers? The guy who constantly keeps your fridge full with homemade food that you like that’s also good for your health? The guy who managed to get your family portrait home safe and sound? The guy who you’ve just recently started to miss–

“HAHA. HELL NO,” you screech, eyes wide as you turn towards the owner of the voice. “He is 100% delu… lu…”

A young man. The top half of his attire is a bomber jacket with a hood, giving him a college aura. Underneath the shadow of his hood, he possesses nearly black eyes and tousled brown hair with a reddish tint. His face looks familiar, but your mind doesn’t want to make the connection. It straight up refuses to make the connection because somehow the horrid idea of that guy having a sib–

“Oh ho~ Am I that handsome that you’re suddenly speechless?”

His voice brings you out of your daze instantly. Cringe fills up your expression. “Yeah, no. I just… you look familiar, is all.”

His eyes dimmer to disappointment. “Eh…? No way. That’s all?”

You shrug and turn away. “Yeah. I’ve seen better.”

Actually, this guy is pretty handsome in your books. Now, if you had to compare this guy to Eris and Ollie– No, scratch that. Back up, back up! There will be no comparison. You are not interested in any one of them, or anyone at all. You’ll just settle on this guy’s looks being decent enough to warrant being ‘handsome’. On the cuter side. Cuter than most guys you’ve seen, but that’s it.

“Boo. You’re such a liar,” he huffs, crossing his arms and leaning against the back of the bench.

What the- Well, good. If he’s too disappointed to deal with the fact you don’t think he’s that handsome, he won’t talk to you anymore. You smile in satisfaction and begin to relax, enough to close your eyes.

Minutes of silence pass, before it is broken. Again.

“So like, what is your type?”

Your eyes pop back open, and a frown replaces your smile. “I’m not answering that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t have a type.”

“Oh c’mon, everyone has a type.”

“No, they don’t. I don’t.”

“Yes, they do. It’s true!”

“I'm pretty sure it's not.”

“Oh c'mon. You gotta have a type. Even someone as handsome as I am has a type.”

“Oh, really?” you say sarcastically. You cross your arms and look at him with a smirk. “Okay then, what’s your type?”

He meets your eyes. His lips part and he whispers, “You.”

-----🔔-----

[A little earlier…]

Beep… Beep… Beep…

Bright white initially fills Ollie’s vision as his eyelids part slowly but surely. The white diffuses into splotches of fuzzy pastels before turning back to a white canvas with black speckles. A ceiling.

Soft fabric lay underneath him. The sound of beeps matches in time with his heartbeat if he listens close enough. It smells of disinfectant spray and sterile conditions. His head feels heavy and his mouth is dry.

Ollie slowly shifts his head to look over to his right and finds a closed window with sheer curtains. It looks dark outside, but he figures with the time he went over to your apartment, dawn seems to be on the way. With the way the back of his head aches, he returns his head back to the neutral position and concludes that he must be in a hospital.

He turns to the left just to look at the other half of the room.

MURDER.

Despite the headache, Ollie instantly flicks his head back to the other side. “JESUS CHRIST, WHAT THE FUCK, ERIS!?" He groans from the whiplash. “Why are you…?”

Sitting on a chair next to the bed, Eris uncrosses and crosses his legs the other way. He sneers, “Aww~ Did I slam your head too hard? Okay, let’s see…” He begins counting with his fingers, holding his index and thumb together as starts with his middle finger. “One, you broke into my lover’s apartment, without my knowledge. Two, you stole their precious family portrait for some fucking reason. And three, you had the audacity to gawk at my lover like some lovestruck idiot.”

“Lovestruck?” Ollie repeats, turning his head back to Eris and facing his murderous stare head on, adrenaline pumping through his veins. “Are you hearing yourself? Me??? What??”

Eris narrows his eyes at Ollie. Out of all of the words… Wait.

Does Ollie even realize…?

Fear enters Ollie’s system as he watches his friend’s face suddenly break into a smile, with imaginary flowers dancing around his head— Ollie figures he should get an MRI or something…

Eris's voice turns sweet, sickeningly sweet. “Oh, my bad. You’re… Heh. Sorry, buddy~ Didn’t mean to slam your head down that hard,” Eris pats him gently on the head. 

Ollie wrestles an arm from underneath the tucked blankets and slaps Eris’s condescending hand away. “Dude, are you okay?”

“Oh yeah, for suuuure~” Eris chuckles before he gets up from his chair and heads towards the door.

“W-where are you going?”

Eris stops at the door and turns his head. “To be with my lover. Of course? They're waiting outside,” he answers matter-of-factly, stopping at the door. “Sorry for knocking you out, by the way. Buuuut you had it coming, ya know? Anyway, I’ll pay for the hospital bill. I hope you get better~”

Eris exits the room, too excited to see you again after being away for about a good half an hour waiting for the motherfu– his best friend to wake up. He turns to where you’re sitting and— What the fuck is he doing here?

-----🔔-----

Your mouth falls agape. The audacity!

You place your hands together, palms out, and then wave them outwards in rejection. “Nope. No. Nuh uh.” You stand up and take several steps back, adding, “I'm sorry. Not interested. Absolutely not.”

“What? Oh c'mon? That's mean!” he whines, standing up. Although you can't see his eyes all that well, his mouth is grinning.

Politeness be damned. You already have a lot on your plate dealing with Eris, and not to mention now you probably got an Ollie on your hands if he's still alive. Another weirdo? Heck no.

Behind this stranger, Eris's head pops out of the doorway, smiling brightly when he sees you. “My love-”

His face immediately falls as his eyes land on the stranger standing between you. He walks out into the hall, narrowed eyes focused on the back of the stranger.

The stranger places his hands in his jacket pockets and begins to shiver, releasing soft cackles as he slightly bends over. He deeply inhales, straightening back, and says, “Hello, Er-”

Eris immediately wraps an arm around the stranger’s neck, making him release a choking sound out of surprise, and drags him backward before spotting the door of a storage room. Eris rips it open—without breaking it off the hinges—tosses the stranger inside, walks in himself, creates some flinch-inducing chaotic noises involving broken glass and heavy metal objects, walks outside unscathed, slams the door shut, and then heads over towards you with the most innocent expression in the world.

“Eri- Whoa-”

Without a word, Eris picks you up and throws over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and starts fast-walking down the hallway. You see the storage room door fly off the hinges and crash onto the opposite wall to your horror. Eris turns the corner before you can see the stranger exit the room.

Stomach on his shoulder and with your head hanging over behind him as you bob up and down despite his attempt to walk as smoothly as possible, you begin to feel the remnant of last night's meal start to come up. You slap his back. “H- urm- Hey!”

“I'm sorry, my love. Just a little-” he pauses for a moment, allowing you to catch a single breath, before he turns another direction and continues walking with a growl. “Fucking mutt…” he mutters, much to your confusion.

You make it outside the hospital, the cool night air doing wonders for your predicament. He finally releases you on the ground. You bend over on your knees, gagging as you catch your breath. “What was that? Urh- Who was that?” you demand.

Eris shakes his head. “Nobody. Let's go home,” he says, fishing his car key out of his pocket and unlocking his car before opening the passenger side door for you.

You're much too tired, mentally and physically, to argue, so you simply enter the car without a complaint and plop onto the plush leather seat. He softly closes the door, walks around and gets into the driver's side and drives off the hospital parking lot.

He puts on some soft music as you lean against the window, watching grey buildings and neon city lights zoom by.

The car ride is quiet, with only the radio and the sound of tires against pavement, all the way back to your apartment. It sort of reminds of your childhood days, when your parents used to just drive around the city without a destination in mind.

Once he parks and opens the passenger door for you again, you stay in your seat.

“Are you okay, love?” he asks, crouching down.

Your heavy eyelids blink slowly before you nod and attempt standing up, only to basically flop your body out of the car.

He catches you with a chuckle. “Are you too tired to walk?”

You think about it for a second. You nod again.

“M'kay… Can I carry you?”

… You nod a third time.

He smiles softly as he reaches over you and unbuckles your seat belt before tucking his hands underneath your back and legs and hoists you up out of the car. He uses his leg to close the door, and walks towards the elevator. He shifts you a little gently to input the codes— you don't bother asking him how he got the codes— to your apartment's level, and successfully enters the pin to your apartment itself. Once settled inside, he carries you over to your bedroom and places you down on your bed.

You don't thank him, there are a million things you want to say that’s on your mind, but your mouth is less than willing to work against the euphoria of your mattress beneath you.

“Comfy?” he asks, caressing your cheek.

“Hn.”

“That's good. Sleep tight, okay?” he says, tucking you in under your blanket. “I love you…”

As he turns to leave, your hand shoots out from under the blanket and brushes against his fingers, making him stop to look at you with wide eyes. Your hand returns back to you as your eyes finally close, sending you off to dreamland…

.

.

.

.

.

-----🔔-----

Eris returns back to the hospital towards the hallway where Ollie's room resides. At the sight of two people he recognizes, he comes to a halt.

“Omo~ Where did you run off too, hm, Eri?” Ollie's mother asks, her eyes glinting dangerously with a finger on her cheek.

Eris shrugs nonchalantly. “Sorry. My love works in a few hours so I had to send them home. I'm back, aren't I?”

“I see…You know who did this to my kit?”

“I did,” he confesses.

“Hmph. I suppose he must've deserved it then,” concludes Ollie's mother with a hum, before she gestures with chin towards the other person in the hallway. “But your troubles aren't with me unfortunately.”

Eris looks over with annoyance. “I'm not stupid enough to kill my own best friend,” Eris spits.

“But you are stupid enough to kill a May Devil,” Lyn responds, standing up from leaning against the wall, sending a glare his way. “Several, in fact.”

Eris scoffs. “Really? Must've not noticed. Maybe you should ask them to wear something striking next time. Not my fault they all look like trash.”

Lyn pokes her tongue against the inside of her cheek as she thinks back to what she saw earlier. “Who were you carrying out of the hospital earlier?”

“None of your business,” he answers right away.

“Huh. I’ll tell you what. If you don’t come with me, whoever it was…” Lyn says, taking steps towards Eris. “No matter where they are, when I find them…” Her height towers over him. “I will make sure you will never see them again. Capisce?”

Eris almost wants to laugh in her face about the person she's threatening about, but holds his tongue. He raises his hands in surrender. “Fine. I don't care what you do. To me. What cha want from me?”

Lyn straightens up and smiles as she says, “Lock him up.”

Erie's wrists are grabbed from behind and placed together behind his back by some May Devil goons. He begins to struggle until Lyn says, “Ah, ah, ah. You escape now, and all bets are off.”

Only then, does he let himself become a ragdoll and allow her goons to drag him off to wherever they're taking him.

Ollie's father exits the room and raises an eyebrow at the sight of an obedient Eris and his son’s bodyguard, Lyn, heading down the hallway.

“He messed with the May Devils somehow,” his wife explains, with a shrug. “Anyway, how is our Ollie?”

He nods in understanding and pats the top of his head gently.

“That's good. Adult children are so rowdy these days,” she sighs. “But I wonder how we'll get to meet Ollie's first love now if Eris gets locked up…”

“Hn.”

“You're right. Curiosity did kill the cat… but satisfaction brought it back~?”

He pats her on the head, which she slaps away. “Don't pet me,” she pouts.

He simply grins in response.

[chubbychiquita]

so who's gonna feed me until i can't get up out of bed on my own 🥺

[cipheramnesia]

Based on life experience.

[jackwhiteprophetic]

HE'S BREAKING OUT OF THE CLOSET GUYS

[veerbles]

Kaz's attic rooms in the Slat

(canon notes under the cut)

All canon descriptions of Kaz's attic rooms:

"The Slat wasn’t much [...] crowned with an attic and a gabled roof." -> most likely a room with slanted walls.

"The attic rooms had been converted into his office and bedroom." -> the attic is partitioned into two separate rooms.

"The [office] room was mostly taken up by a makeshift desk – an old warehouse door atop stacked fruit crates – piled high with papers." -> the office isn't large; considering the dimensions of a warehouse door, and that it takes up most of the space, the room is VERY ROUGHLY 4x3m (13x9 ft).

"...he walked through the door to his tiny bedroom. [Inej darted] a glance at him through the open doorway [as he] dipped a cloth in the wash basin." -> (1) the office and bedroom are separated by a wall and door. (2) the bedroom is even smaller than the office - around 4x2m maybe. (3) assuming Inej was standing in the middle of the office, she had a line of sight to the wash basin through the bedroom door.

"Whenever he sat down to try to get some work done, he’d find his eyes straying to the window ledge." -> the window has enough room to sit, and there is a direct line of sight from kaz's office chair to it.

the slat is pretty clearly modeled after amsterdam's canal ring houses. I based the room's overall set-up and position within the house on this incredible post by @arany-studio.

furniture designs and bedroom features are inspired by 17-19th century rooms. I didn't try to be very specific with the style because (a) Ketterdam is not really a direct adaption of the early 19th century, (b) Kaz is a barrel rat and his furniture just came from wherever he could get them, including the street, abandoned buildings and mansions he robbed.

there are probably more things in the room that aren't depicted. I didn't want to crowd the drawing.

[nenoname]

Why am I spending so much time staring at the show's backgrounds to talk about doors? Listen. Don't worry about it.

Rambling on about Stan's control over his mindscape made me curious so I skimmed over some episodes to check out a certain detail...

You can see that the door Stan conjured up during his deal with Bill has a diamond window and to me, there's only one door in the Shack comes to mind.

And that makes sense! During the deal with Bill, Stan recreated the living room where he feels most at home and the most himself, and the porch door is the entrance to the home part of the Shack where he doesn't have to put up the Mr Mystery front

But the thing is; the handle isn't quite right and its consistently the same throughout the series, except...

When Stan first arrived in Gravity Falls and reunited with Ford.

Overall, the diamond door appears pretty prominently in Stan's mindscape:

It acts as entrance to the main section of his mindscape

It's the Dipper memory door, where Memory!Stan has his own flashbacks (with the doors in the hall opening up by themselves as Stan talks about each memory) and was able interact with Dipper to explain how the mindscape works

And it's his Hope door (aka where he was still hoping that he could save Ford)

(Of course not all of the diamond doors were important. Unless you think him being stuck in stocks all afternoon counts-- wait whaddya mean those things are actually called pillories??? and stocks are for ankles?????)

But the thing is, the porch door is made out of one entire piece and is noticeably missing that wood panel on the bottom of the Deal door... but that did remind me of something else--

The Shack door that has this panel detail is the one to the twins' room. And I doubt this is too far of a leap because this door is also made of planks and its edges seem kinda ramshackle too.

Another detail I noticed is that the Deal door seems to be greyscale on the outside but colored on the inside to match the interior. (I'm saying "seems" cos it's kinda inconsistent in the actual scene but whatever-- sometimes it's colored, sometimes it ain't!)

What I'm getting at is I think the only door in Stan's mindscape we saw before that had color inside was the Dipper memory one. (Personally, I think it's the unique case of the memory door being in the same position as where the porch door actually is, so it ends up acting as both- if that makes sense? One side has a handle, the other a door knob). But behind both of these doors, we get a pretty confident mindscape!Stan

Anyway my point is that the Deal door is a fusion of the porch door that represents both the Shack being his home and his reunion with Ford, and of the attic door representing the twins--

...or maybe a door is just a door! Who knows!

Another tidbit is his Dipper memories door being represented by a pine tree when we know they knew each other for a few days before Dipper got that hat (something something, this episode firmly establishing Dipper's zodiac symbol with Bill nicknaming him that even though the crew didn't have plans for the Zodiac at this point)

but I'm honestly surprised that the door for Ford's room wasn't used in Dreamscaperers cos look at it--

It's just so fancy!

Of course there's the elephant in the living room of "...But what about the border around the diamond window that's unique to the deal door? That sticks out a lot!" To which i say: i dunno lol