#bro has been here for probably 12 or 13 years

[thattheater-kid]

I always wonder about the older alters, the ones who were here when I was little and first traumatized. I wonder who “descended” from them, who they are now if there’s any of them still left. I wonder if they’re still dormant. I didn’t have to wonder today, when I put on a movie to take notes to write a paper for school and a fictive who was in the first generation of alters was triggered forward to help out for the first time in YEARS.

Because who better to write about Lightning McQueen’s character development in the movie Cars than Lightning McQueen himself?

[byers-bowlcut]

Mike’s love for El being platonic, and not romantic, and realizing it over the course of season 3 reconciles nearly every contradiction with his behaviour.

He stands like a gay scarecrow as she kisses him in front of Will’s closet. That's him realizing that when he blurted out "I love her and I can't lose her again!" he meant it platonically. But her saying "ily too” WAS CLEARLY NOT PLATONIC, so now he’s left very confused (If he was simply shocked by the fact that she overheard him, he would’ve been surprised initially, and then kissed her back, and been all emotional and happy. But he wasnt.) 

In fact he probably realized his heart fluttered when Will said “not possible” to him in the scene literally 1 minute prior, but NOT when his gf was attempting to make out with him? That’s clearly a problem! lol

This leads flawlessly into season 4.

Mike has apparently been refusing to even write the word 'love’ in his letters for 6 whole months. Why? Cause he didn't want them to look like love letters.

Meanwhile, he’s jealous of Will painting something for a girl. So he argues with Will about growing apart.

El argues with him about not saying ily. In the fight, he deflects romantic connotations with words like “care” and superhero idolization that he seems suuuper into this season.

He NODS when Will says “What if they don’t like the truth?”. That’s him thinking “Yeah, El won’t like the truth that I don't return her romantic feelings.”

In the van, he says their meeting was dumb luck and anyone could've been there for her that night. That’s hinting that he was just being a decent human. Not that it was a fated love at first sight meeting.

Then Will says, “You’re afraid of losing her”. And THAT is the true issue here.

This whole concept of ‘losing El’ (be it in relationship/daily life, or in death), is scary to Mike, because of what he went through seasons 1-2. At 12 years old, he saw another kid that he developed a bond with, die right in front of his freaking eyes. But they didn’t have a body or anything. So Mike kept getting signs and intuitive feelings that she was still alive. So he questioned his own sanity. For a WHOLE YEAR. Can you imagine how traumatic that is? And then for a kid that age?? That’s exactly why he develops an unhealthy codependency with her in Season 3. And we see it have a negative impact on the unity of the party, and on Will.

But a traumatic response doesn’t change the fact that Season 3 transitions us through the party’s puberty and growth into teenage hood. 

And because of said puberty, Mike starts to realize what actual attraction towards someone is, or in this case… isnt.

Like if we think about the first two seasons, for a 12-13 year old living in that type of society, era, and a picture perfect white suburban American family, it would’ve been really really hard to figure it out back then! Like simply becoming very close friends with the opposite gender caused everyone (cough Nancy cough Lucas) to tell him that “ooooh you must like her”. So yeah, he thinks “I really must like her”. Because he does! He just can’t separate it from actual romantic attraction at that point due to age, and strong heteronormative standards, and no role models like Jonathan telling him “it’s okay to stray from the norm bro”. So of course he acts on it? That’s the NORM. He’s like, “You’re supposed to take a girl you like to the ball”, “We're supposed like girls now”, “This is what growing up means”, “This what old people do”. Like HELLO? Mike says stuff similar to that constantly. Dustin and Lucas do not. So yeah, it can be easily be read as heteronormativity. Not romantic attraction!

And so despite wanting to spend every day in the summer with El because of copious amounts of trauma from S1-2, he can’t continue believing its romantic attraction when his hormones say otherwise. 

Like just look at their kissing scenes S3-4:

Seasons 3 starts with him pulling her hands OFF of him when kissing. He’s voluntarily kissing her instead of spending time with his friends, cause he thinks that’s what he’s supposed to do as he’s “not a kid anymore!”, yet he’s evidently not even enjoying it if he’s taking her hands off lol. Then by the end of the season he doesn’t even kiss back, and has his eyes wide open. Then six months later, when he’s way more self aware of his own feelings, this dude wears SUNGLASSES to the airport. We (and all the characters there) can’t even see his true expression when kissing her. And what’s more, he puts the bouquet of flowers between their bodies, to SEPARATE FASTER. When he could’ve very easily put that hand/arm around her, not between them (that's what he does with his other hand holding the bags).  

And all of this: all this repression, the contradictions, the unsaid things... it all culminates to the monologue. Will told Mike in the van that El really needed him. And then Will reminds him of this again when El is in the piggyback, cause Will is annoying! (jokes lol). So of course, all rationality, all of Mike's realizations or progression, goes out the window. After all, he is THE HEART. He is needed by her. He can’t go through what he went through in season 1-2 again! It doesn’t matter if it’s not totally true. He needs to tell her what she wants to hear so she won’t DIE. The stakes are extremely high. So he delivers. He even takes all his knowledge of mediocre romance stories, and blurts out that it was love at first sight. It's silly to us the audience, cause if you actually go back and watch season 1 you can see that it's not even fucking true. 

So why would he lie? Well because he doesn’t KNOW when he fell in love with El. Because he never fell in love with her. So yeah. It’s PLATONIC with a capital P.

(And to add a cherry on top, he gives his sister’s ring to her jfc) 

[wutheringskies]

Re-reading MDZS; CH 1 - 11

rereading mdzs out loud with my bestie and we're only doing 2 chapters a day, and discussing everything and here are things I never noticed:

1. from the start, the narrative exposes us to how Wei Wuxian is when he's upset: he's unfocused, walking off the wrong way, disliking his reflection, organizing his thoughts, crying but not saying he cried.

2. despite being miserable, when lil apple tries to cheer him up, he thinks "the poor donkey even went out of its way to drag him" and decides to be get up and move on. it's not an in-built setting - it's not a "being born chronically optimistic" but rather a conscious choice.

3. frankly i never noticed just how sombre his tone is in the first couple of chapters. it's quirky and sarcastic but sombre all the same.

4. also, this guy is literally a Lan. like I'm sorry, he probably has a degree in the Lan Sect. he keeps explaining everything about them.

5. Sizhui already made such a huge impression on him that the first thing he thinks of when he sees Jin Ling is that he's of Sizhui's age.

6. Wei Wuxian IS traumatized about Jiang Cheng. His reaction is simply to run off into the distance. He DOES NOT like being around Jiang Cheng, and his opinion about him is not good, as he keeps adding comments about Jiang Cheng's arrogance, his anger, and comparing him to Lan Wangji (knowing JC hates being compared, and I personally think this was something he never allowed himself to do.)

7. Jin Ling was such a jerk under Jiang Cheng and Jin Guangyao's tutelage. Like, sincerely.

8. Lan Wangji does not even acknowledge Jiang Cheng.

9. Also, a comment that my friend and I made: MDZS is a book about Lan Wangji, with Wei Wuxian casually throwing some trauma on the pages in between. Like, goodness, the narration from Wei Wuxian's point of view rarely describes a lot. But come to the point of Lan Wangji and this guy won't shut up. His clothes, his face, his voice, his sword, their meaning, the clan rules, what they stand for - Wei Wuxian tells us more about Lan Wangji and the Lan Clan than about his own life.

10. Wei Wuxian was so in love with Lan Wangji. Since he saw the Lan Clan this guy was on his head. THE FACT WEI WUXIAN CAN RECOGNIZE LAN WANGJI JUST BY 2 STRUMS OF HIS ZITHER after 13 years of being dead!!!

11. When Lan Wangji held his hand, he was breathing hard and his notes on the flute kept cracking

12. Wei Wuxian is so good at meditating btw

13. Wei Wuxian describing Lan Wangji's voice as "deep and magnetic" and "stirring the heart" like bro trust me Jiang Cheng's not feeling any tugs upon his heart, and Jingyi is most probably just scared.

14. Wei Wuxian is such a flirt with women - his best flirting tactic is "give them space" 😂😂

15. Wei Wuxian did not ask, expect or even comment upon the absence of gratitude from the villager clan after saving them and instead even thanked them for providing him with information.

16. Wei Wuxian is so keen on people's behavior. Noticing the orb of souls that could've been saved if people were more focused on their duty than catching a prey like Wen Ning, understanding people's discomfort etc.

17. He's such a good teacher, earning the respect of Lan students just like that, asking good questions, not even complying with his own worship, and appraising them when they get things right and also playfully scaring them with Hanguang-jun's punishment (what a husband)

18. Wei Wuxian has great self esteem but poor self worth, but he's working on the second part.

@zenenini

[ofmdrecaps]

08/12-13/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; David Jenkins; Rhys Darby; Taika Waititi; Vico Ortiz; Kristian Nairn; Samba Schutte; Leslie Jones; Dominic Burgess; Alex Sherman; WBD News Articles; Fan Spotlight: Cast Cards; Our Flag Means Fanfiction; Never Left Podcast; Love Notes; Today's Taika Tuesday;

== David Jenkins ==

Chaos Dad has certainly been living up to his name! He's been keeping the fandom busy with reposting lovely artwork from our crew, and responding to various ponderings!

Source: David Jenkins Twitter

Source: David Jenkins Twitter

He even confirmed some Evelyn/Mary Theories made by our dear friend @patchworkpiratebear!

Source: David Jenkins Twitter

== Rhys Darby ==

Some more shots of Edinburgh Fringe!

Source: TheWeeReview Instagram

== Taika Waititi ==

Just a quick vid of Taika out in Ibiza a couple weeks back!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Taika Ora (Fan Page) (@taika_ora)

Source: Taika_Ora's Instagram

Also-- 3 years ago Aug 13th, Free Guy came out! So folks are celebrating the anniversary!

Source: Instagram

== Vico Ortiz ==

Vico has been posting lots of pics lately-- but recently shared that Aug 12 was their 2 year anniversary with Jack!

Source: Vico Ortiz Instagram

In other news, Vico will be honored with the Coyote Courage Award a the 1st Annual 29 Queer Film Festival! Thank you to @adoptourcrew for highlighting this amazing honor for Vico!

Here's the Article:

Source: Adopt Our Crew Instagram

Vico is asking for some feedback! You can send it to them on their Instagram Story!

Source: Vico Ortiz' Instagram Stories

== Leslie Jones ==

Leslie met Sha'Carri Richardson!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Leslie Jones (@lesdogggg)

Source: Leslie's Instagram

== Samba Schutte ==

Samba's back in Holland!

Source: Samba's Instagram

== Kristian Nairn ==

The new Audo Drama Podcast -- Dungeon Masters with Kristian is finally out! Check it out wherever you love to listen!

Source: Dungeon Masters Spotify

== Alex Sherman ==

#AssTonight has been extended to #AssTomorrow and #AssForever!

Source: Alex Shermans' Instagram

And if you didn't love Alex enough, he's been a camp counselor for the "Experience Camps", which is a non-profit that helps transform the lives of grieving kids through summer camp programs and year round initiatives!

Source: ItsAshlyPerez' Instagram

== Dominic Burgess ==

Dominic is out at the new Alien Premiere!

Source: Dominic's Twitter

== WBD News ==

More Articles on WBD and the tanking stocks!

Source: Never Left Podcast Twitter

Source: Never Left Podcast Twitter

Source: Never Left Podcast Twitter

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Cast Cards =

More cast cards tonight from the wonderful @melvisik! You just keep bringing more and more of our lovely crew to light! Thank you hon! First up is Kian F, and Marcin K! They are unspecified but Mel thinks they're Action Talent found via ofmd-crew.com!

The next up almost needs no introduction, she's our fabulous Costume Designer for S2, Gypsy Taylor!!

And last but not least, you probably recognize her from all her BTS, Set Dresser, Lindsey Cantrell!

Source: @melvisik's Twitter

= Our Flag Means Fanfiction =

New Epitizer from Our Flag Means FanFiction! Ready by Cheesecake3! Check them out here!

Source: Our Flag Means Fanfiction Instagram

OFMFanfiction needs your help! Help them pick a new sign off slogan! Reach out to them on their instagram!

Source: Our Flag Means Fanfiction Instagram

= Never Left Podcast =

New episode of Never Left Podcast! Part 3 of Motifs! Check them out on your favorite listening platform!

Source: Never Left Podcast Instagram

== Love Notes ==

Hey there lovelies, another busy couple of days. My son starts kindergarten tomorrow! Boy how time flies, huh? I feel like I was pregnant like last month, and here he is grown up and 5 years old, and off to school. Do you remember those days? I remember my first day of kindergarten. I'm 38 years old, and that's still a day I remember. I remember the brown wall with the pink buttlerflies of my classroom, and the desks I'd never seen before. I remember being scared...wondering why I was in a new place I didn't recognize, but I remember having such a great time too. I remember counting to 25, and reading Berenstain Bears books, and making friends and I don't remember a lot of other days from that year, but I remember that one. It's amazing what little things in life we remember, even 30+ years later. Remember to take a moment to smile and enjoy things even when they're a bit scary lovelies. Sometimes they turn out to be wonderful memories. I hope you're all staying healthy <3 Just some quick love notes tonight-- the first from our Pirate queen, and the second from the darling TheLatestKate <3

Source: Ruibo Qian's Instagram

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by @thelatestkate

== Today's Taika Tuesday ==

In honor of this Taika Tuesday which falls on the 3rd anniversary of Free Guy, have some Antwan <3 Gif courtesy of the lovely @neverswungonswingingstars

[homestuckreplay]

‘scrawling notes furiously into [my] psychoanalysis journal’

(page 460-471)

8/12/2009 Wheel Spin: Long Pesterlog Verdict: One Day Too Soon

8/13/2009 Wheel Spin: Movie Reference Verdict: somehow, incorrect

Yesterday was the one hundredth update day, today is the four month anniversary, and what do we get for the occasion? Plush Rump. Which is probably accidental but it is upsetting all the same.

cw: a lot of this post is about puppets.

So I originally assumed Dave’s bro was around 16, but this update has me questioning that. The fairly adult website that ‘rakes in thousands of dollars a month,’ the recent mention of taking Lil Cal out on gigs, and the control that Bro has over the common areas of the house all could be true of a teenager with permissive guardians, but I also wonder if he’s Dave’s sole guardian. If that’s true, I wonder if this is a long term arrangement, or if going to live with his cool adult brother is a recent move Dave’s made in response to other circumstances. It would definitely explain how Bro isn’t used to sharing his space, and maybe how Dave has latched onto Bro as someone to emulate, if he’s lost other people in his life.

Dave ‘starting to flip the fuck out’ on p.465 really plays into this. It’s really unclear if Dave flipping the fuck out about puppets and then confessing it to his friends is a regular daily occurrence, or if it’s happening for the first time now after building up for weeks, months or years. We do find out Dave has nightmares about Cal and wakes up scared, possibly even with panic attacks, and this happening regularly in the daytime hours could explain why Dave pesters John so constantly.

While Dave’s been on the computer, Cal has swung his legs round to the other side of the speaker tower and is staring at Dave. I still think Bro is hiding somewhere and messing with Cal. Honestly, just from seeing Cal’s face up close on p.463 with his too-realistic eyes, I can understand why he haunts Dave’s nightmares. But if Bro is regularly stealth-moving Cal around the house like an evil elf on the shelf… even if it’s done as a joke, that sounds like a genuinely distressing way to live.

Back to Plush Rump, I guess. :/ We’ve got categories! Following ‘Gallery’ and ‘Live Video,’ the site caters to a variety of puppet subtypes. These definitely don’t represent all the types of puppetry out there – but maybe these are what make the big bucks in the Smuppets industry. I didn’t know all of these and some seem fairly niche, so here are the definitions.

Marionette – a puppet (often wooden) controlled with strings Bunraku – a form of traditional Japanese puppet theater Plush/Foam/Felt – all materials a soft puppet could be made from Marotte – a medieval rod controlled puppet, associated with jesters Senor Weñces – a Spanish ventriloquist who lived to be over 100 Chinface – using the human chin as a puppet, where the upside down real mouth becomes the puppet mouth Finger puppet – a very small puppet worn on one finger

So how ironic is this, really? Bro is clearly spending a lot of time and energy on this, it could be his main source of income, he knows a lot about the art of puppetry. So what level is he on? Is he actually genuine about the puppet stuff, and telling Dave it’s ironic because Dave is too young to know what’s really up? Was it originally ironic and then Bro accidentally committed way too hard to the bit and backdoored his way into becoming part of an actual puppet subculture? Is Bro cool and above it all this entire time, mistakenly thinking that all the puppet fans are also doing this ironically? Or is ‘being into Smuppets ironically’ actually a massive trend among hipsters in this world, and everyone’s doing it ironically?

To be clear. I think puppetry is a genuine art form. But I think it’s written in Homestuck to be intentionally unpleasant to think about, the webcomics equivalent of reblogging a post that causes psychic pain. And I think it is definitely accomplishing that.

In today’s much more pleasant update, we get Pesterlogs! Dave messages John (no reply), Dave messages Rose (we see their previous conversation from p.419), and Rose messages John (no reply). This brings Dave almost in sync with Rose and John in the timelines of their pages – he’s a couple minutes behind at most. My hope is that these three will fully sync up, and then GG will get introduced either slightly in the past, or slightly in the future.

I like when previous Pesterlogs get repeated and we see them again with new context from the other participant. Now we’ve seen the puppets and the websites, Dave processing his feelings about them feels more genuinely anguished. Rose claiming she ‘likes’ Bro’s websites takes on its own disturbing new tone, although I’d guess she just likes psychoanalyzing the mind behind those sites. But my favorite line is Rose saying she and Dave don’t have time to ‘evaluate each other's radically debilitating pathologies.’ It really paints a picture of their relationship – we’ve seen now that they both have pretty strange lives, share their homes with odd people, and maybe aren’t doing well because of it. I think the same is true for John, but Rose and Dave don’t see that from their perspectives. They do recognize this in each other, so they’re both the one person the other can be honest with about their mental state.

On p.471 Rose deploys the punch designix, and I am SO excited to see what this thing does, we are BACK and it is SBURB TIME. Rose moves the piano to place it, and it kind of looks like a piano, except with no keys and instead had a computer keyboard attached to it. It also has what looks like a slot on the upper left… perhaps even a slot for punch cards, to design them.

[mitamicah]

The full käärijä stickers project + bonus stickers

Concept sketches; 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th update ; Bätman, Fashionista

Stickers in order of when they were done being rendered;

June > 1 (CCC), 2 (ICIP), 3 (Pocket Size), 4 (Mr. WW)

July > 5 (Kiitos)

August > 6(häärijä), 7(PR), 8(Stay Hydrated), 9(Bätmän), 10(Fashionista)

September > 11 (Väcätion), 12 (Are You?), 13 (Honorary Slovene), Bonus 1+2 (Voittaja + Kiss Your bros)

It has been exactly four months after first publicly sharing my idea of this insane project of making a 13-piece sticker set as a tribute to the man that won my heart at this year's eurovision. Four months and many hours sketching, rendering, deleting and re-rendering art to get to this point.

What a journey this has been: starting more or less after eurovision I can honestly say I have grown through this process and I might have been frustrated at times but all in all I've enjoyed the journey especially since it has involved all you wonderful kääryleet. Your comments and happy tags has get me through even the toughest of days and kept me motivated to finish this project.

From the bottom of my heart thank you for staying with me through it all :'D I probably won't stop making käärijä fanart so this is not a goodbye. It is more of a proof to myself that with the right support and drive, you can even finish the most insane of projects

Love you all and I hope you like this series as much as I do <3

Also if somebody is nerdy like me here's the list of the stickers by popularity at time of rercording (September 28 2023);

14. Paidaton Riehuja (orange); 42 notes

13. A Wild Häärijä appeared (yellow); 44 notes

12. Stay Hydrated (teal); 46 notes

11. Fäshiönistä (pink); 47 notes

10. Are You? (white); 53 notes

9. Pocket sized (purple); 55 notes

8. Gig stickers (the bonus ones); 71 notes

7. Cha Cha Cha (green) 83 notes

6. It's Crazy It's Party (purpleblue); 86 notes

5. Kiitos (red); 88 notes

4. Bätmän (black); 92 notes

3. Mr. World Wide (blue); 101 notes

2. Väcätion Mode: On (peach); 114 notes

Honorary Slovene (group hug); 140 notes

[rulerzreachf4n7]

I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE THOSE ANNOYING ASS PARENTS (SPECIFICALLY CHRISTIAN ONES, no offense to y'all, just learn TO FUCKING MIND UR BUSINESS AND USE COMMON SENSE) SAYING AND YAPPING ABOUT "erm guys, you uhm, shouldn't take ur kids to watch inside out 2 🤓👆" LIKE SHUT THE FUCK UP KAREN AND LISTEN TO MY DAMN REASONS NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT

Reason number one- you're five year olds aren't the targated demographic for this movie

Yes come at me all you fucking want but this isn't like the first movie where it's much more innocent and doesn't handle heavy topics like having an anxiety attack and puberty, I'm sorry Karen but you're two six year old kids won't be needing to learn about what puberty is, TRUST ME THAT IS GOING TO SAVED FOR ANOTHER TIME, and it was obvious this movie is targated for teens, especially the ones born in 2010 cause like half of y'all (including me) are 12/13 years old already, and just because it's a Pixar film doesn't mean it can't be mature it was definitely not targated for people under puberty

Reason number two- take a fucking hint and stop being homophobic

Personally me, RILEY X VAL IS A HILL I AM WILLING TO DIE ON, I WILL DEFEND THAT SHIP LIKE MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT, but from a more...different view...just because two girls are interacting and holding hands DOES NOT FUCKING MEAN THEY'RE DATING TAKE A FUCKING HINT YOU TRUMP SUPPORTER, sure Riley x val may not be canon due to obvious homophobic people complaining, and a kinda underrated one where people think the age gap is too big given that Riley is a freshman but I think Val might be a sophomore? Not sure it's never like mentioned but calling val a super senior is fucking weeeird bro, and also Disney is a SHIT at writing gay couples and probably would stereotype them is more to add of how bad it'll make them look

Number three- surprisingly there's racism???

Not really a big one but I've heard some people complaining about Val's hockey team, saying it's "too diverse"...BITCH WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN " TOO DIVERSE " YOU WANT EVERYONE TO BE AS WHITE AS RILEY??? not much to speak on here but it truly is infuriating

Number four- Riley's belief system makes her a bad person??

Another small one but still very annoying people complaining that Riley's not a good person and has a bad belief system but even though she considers herself a good person but makes mistakes it doesn't matter because God isn't in it and that alone apparently makes her a bad person...SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M ALL FOR RESPECTING RELIGIONS BUT THE PEOPLE I HATE MOST ON EARTH ARE FUCKING CHRISTIANS LIKE TAKE A FUCKING HINT WHAT HAPPENED TO LOVE THY NEIGHBOR??? SHIT WENT OUT THE WINDOW SINCE ADAM AND EVE SINNED

And number five- peoples ever decreasing media literacy

Every since the movie came out people have been complaining over Anxiety and saying she's "the villain"...im going to take your hand while I'm saying this...DO Y'ALL NOT KNOW WHAT FUCKING ANXIETY IS SHE LITERALLY EXPLAINS IT HER FUCKING SELF WHEN SHE'S FIRST INTRODUCED YOU DUMB BITCHES, " B-But she made Riley have a panic attack🥺🥺 " first of all It's an ANXIETY ATTACK second, people were saying "w-why was anxiety making Riley over think and worry so much? 🥺🥺" TAKE A LONG WILD GUESS IT'S IN HER FUCKING NAME, I'm convinced people who went to watch it, saw thirty minutes of it then left cause they didn't even know what anxiety is and what it causes, half of the people watching don't understand anxiety's motives CAUSE Y'ALL HAVE NEVER HAD ANXIETY, coming from someone who has anxiety and social anxiety I get where she's coming from (and maybe secretly rooting for her at the end, like fr let her cook) and y'all wouldn't have acted like this in the first movie cause everyone HAS experienced sadness, everyone HAS HAD sad moments so it's no difference with anxiety, except this time only a certain amount of people will get it

Also am I the only but I fucking HATED Riley's friends like they were SO GODDAMN ANNOYING 💀💀

[katethevampire]

All right so the new episodes just came out like 20 minutes ago for me (oh yeah me from the future here it ended up taking me about 3 hours to finish watching the episodes cuz I kept pausing to write stuff in between so uh yeah lol) so everything under the cut will be my live reaction to everything. I'll add time stamps so you know where I'm at in the episodes. I can guarantee you that I will be sticking to my promise about potentially eating paper if I'm wrong about Sir Pentious not dying. Which honestly now I'm not sure if anyone will die, it was pretty much confirmed in a live stream that angel dust isn't going to be the one to die so my money is on one of the Angels. Also I'm using voice to text and while I'll try and fix any misspellings or wrong words I might miss them.

LOTS OF SWEARING PROBABLY also I very much abuse capslock

EPISODE 7

00:51- I love Sir Pentious looking at Keke I just thought I should mention that

01:03- OH MY GOD NO KEKE MOVED TO HIS LAP AND HE'S PETTING HER I LOVE HIM SM

01:10 aw Alastor was sleepy you guys woke him up!

01:22- I CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE RAZZLE AND DAZZLE BEING CUTE CHARLIE IS CRYING

01:29- he did the gay little hand thing

01:50- okay so I've already seen this part because of the small leak but I cannot get over the fact that Alastor has his shoes on the bed!! Like man take those off you're getting it dirty!!!!

01:59- mfs kicking his feet on the bed acting like a high school girl about to ask out her crush on the phone at a sleepover like dude you're a serial killer you can't do this to me 😭 also I should probably slow down cuz I'm making an update literally every 2 seconds

02:18 BROS CHECKING HIS NAILS AND DOING THAT POSE WHILE MAKING FUN OF HER ABOUT THE FACT THAT SHE UNINTENTIONALLY MIGHT HAVE CAUSED THE DEATHS OF MILLIONS 💀💀💀 so fruity i love

2:33- Alasto be like "it's called masking deary. Ever heard of it?"

2:44- if he wasn't saying this in such an evil manner right now I'd be saying he's so me frfr

3:07- what do I even say to that line. He popped off but also like respectfully I think I've heard a third grader say the exact same thing

3:53- OKAY SO I WAS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING BUT I'VE COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN LOOK AT THIS FRAME, this could easily be the profile picture for someone's film review channel and I'm not 100% sure that people will understand what I mean by that unless you know a very specific person

04:38- Alastor is in his hat man era

4:33- okay so a few things, thank you subtitles for telling me that the music is edgy I feel like just the word tense would have worked on its own but I appreciate it nonetheless. Number two, I don't like seeing the girlies be mad at each other :(

05:34 I will support my boy Sir Pentious through and through he did nothing wrong!!

06:54- not the voice I was expecting for Rosie but pop up Queen she speaks the truth

07:24- ROSIE KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE ALASTOR. Also his confusion, I love him so much

11:04- she's kind of like that one Pokemon

Ad time!- I DON'T CARE ABOUT VITAMIN PILLS THAT DOUBLE MY LIFESPAN

11:13- catabettes! Cannibals and catabettes!!! This is going into my vocabulary from now on. Also this frame that I paused at I love her face.

11:57- ugh, susan. All my homies hate Susan

12:54- I have a dream, I'm here to cause a scandal in the cannibal square

13:37- :( well it wasn't obvious to me I just thought the x over the eye was to look cool :(

14:35- SONG FUCK YEAH

15:26 If this song came out years ago I know for a fact there would have been an undertale parody version of it. Also I just got a cosmic brownie and some chocolate milk let's go guys we're eating good tonight

16:00 HOLY FUCKING SHIT SHE CAN JUST GROW BACK HER WINGS

16:30- therapist Rosie is not something I thought I'd be seeing today but honestly I love it. Also I don't think I'm going to be able to finish these episodes today because I'm only a little over 15 minutes through and I've been watching for like almost over half an hour and also I just realized that what if Lucifer is the one that dies?

18:12 ALASTOR GAVE HER HIS MICROPHONE I'M GOING TO EXPLODE INTO A BAJILLION CRYING PIECES RAHHHHHH

19:38 I'm going crazy I'm going insane right now bro literally what how I don't know what to say I love this act I don't know, it's just really good I don't know what to say like this is cool I don't I DON'T KNOW! IT'S I I LIKE IT everybody in cannibal town is cool and I like them and it's like 10 seconds later now and they're literally So based like free food like so me I don't know I'm just rambling at this point

20:56 ALASTOR AND ROSIE'S LITTLE DANCE THEIR LITTLE TIPPY TAPS OH MY GOD YES

21:06- alastor, you know it's not right to make someone your political puppet. Your little dances are cute though so I'll allow it for now.

I don't know why it thought I was speaking Spanish for a second but anyways that episode was really cute and good and I liked it but I'm also scared for the next episode cuz like now I'm wondering is someone actually going to die or were people just lying. I feel like either Adam is going to be the one to die or it's going to be Lucifer cuz they mentioned a lot in the previous episode about how Charlie needs to take up the throne and get ready to take her place on the throne like why does she need to take her place on the throne? Isn't that her dad's job??? Please don't kill Lucifer off please please please 🙏 also I'm still not on board and probably will never will be on the whole political puppet thing. Like I just know I just have a feeling in my bones that alastor's favor is going to be something like "Let me be the ruler of hell lololol" or something anyways

EPISODE 8

01:01-Why are you watching other men get fucked?🤨 (/j)

01:19 🥺 I love 🥺 I oove him so 🥺 so much 🥺🥺🥺 does he have a spatula like spongebob

02:02- wait so how is Vox watching them like does he have bug cameras in the air like those little guys in v3 (woah now I have to put a Danganronpa spoiler on this)

03:42 SOFT ALASTOR FANFICTION WRITERS QUICK WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN!!!

04:18- I'm not even the biggest huskerdust shipper but awwwww also I don't ship him with anyone but I just want to see Sir Pentious happy pleaseeee also the little Melody of loser baby in the background

04:48- ugh I am clutching my heart right now Sir Pentious is my SON and I LOVE HIM

04:58- what the fuck that ao3 tag was canon this WHOLE TIME???? WHEN DID YOU GUYS HEAR ABOUT THIS?????

05:05- I told you angel dust wasn't going to die

05:38- it's like the song but different! Reprise it's called a reprise also is Mimzy gonna come back

07:15- Vox, you know that you guys are going to die if they lose too right?

Okay I can't timestamp this cuz I'll just be pausing every 2 seconds but just know that everything I'm saying after this is from 07:52 to whatever number I put after later right here->09:47

Okay, so this might be a weird comparison but you know like My Little pony Battle scenes? This feels like that in the very best way possible where they have the scenes with all the different characters fighting with the different music.

Oh my God yes Cherry bomb and angel dust I love them also that was a fire transition also I JUST NOTICED THAT SIR PENTIOUS HAT ALSO HAS THE EYE DOES HE JUST HAVE I HATS FOR EVERY OCCASION

Uh oh Adams angry he's going to do a my hero academia

Oh shit it actually worked that's not good.

I TOLD YOU I CALLED IT VOX IS HORNY

Oh my God that is such a cool shot guys someone should make that frame of Alastor their computer background

OH MY GOD WHOEVER ANIMATED THAT SCENE I LOVE YOU I'M LITERALLY GIVING YOU A METAPHORICAL KISS ON THE MOUTH IN THE PLATONIC SENSE ALASTOR LOOKED SO COOL

Guys I think Adam's going to die

😨 okay so Alastor's microphone just broke and I paused it to add that emoji but as I did the people I live with got home so I'm going to have to pause it for there? I'll update if I get prime working on my phone. Also isn't alastor's microphone alive? Maybe that's the character that died.

Update: all right I got it set up on my phone about 30 minutes later now we're resuming

09:47- okay so I think it's interesting that Alastor pretty much lost all his powers as soon as his microphone broke, my guess is probably that whoever has his soul (lilith, eve, or anyone else) gave the mic to him.

09:53- I like the detail that Alastor is still smiling even though he literally just got slammed against the wall, also Vox has the biggest hate boner for Alastor like

10:02- Alastor: "Have to disagree with you there, radio's not dead." Hun you are bleeding out I'm sorry but I don't think you can gaslight girlboss your way out of this one, also I'm sorry to tell you but the only thing they play on my local radio station now besides music is like, a show that's only on at like 7 in the morning where people call to complain about how their husband wraps Christmas presents

10:38- haha silly also EGGS!!

10:43- NO WAIT MY BRAIN DIDN'T REGISTER THAT THAT EGG WAS CRACKED THEY KILLED THE FUCKING EGG!!!!!! Angel, kill them.

11:12- no no no Sir Pentious you better not I don't want to eat paper

11:21- good for him

11:44- NO GOD DAMN IT PLEASE HAVE A REVEAL THAT ALASTOR OR LUCIFER OR SOMEONE ELSE SAVED HIM PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏 I AM BEGGING ON MY HANDS AND KNEES

12:03- okay this is really cool but is he actually dead cuz I'll legitimately be really sad if so

12:50- *that one vine* "*gasp* Adam."

13:23- KILL HIS ASS CHARLIE

14:12 yes Vaggie, queen shit

SIR PENTIOUS ARE YOU DEAD /J OR /SRS?????

14:35 I KNEW IT I KNOW HE WAS GOING TO COME BACK I MEAN I GOT KIND OF SPOILED CUZ I I SAW THE COVER OF THE EPISODE BUT WOAH 10/10 ENTRANCE

14:44- gasp! His face!

15:00- he is, so stupid. I love him.

15:51-okay I went quiet for a minute cuz there were so much happening but oh my God what do I even say this is just so cool also I don't know if this is intentional or not but the blood stain on Charlie's hair is shaped like an apple

16:34- NIFFTY RAHHHHHHH

17:08- wait okay I had a brief thought that maybe lute was actually Eve but I think I'm wrong on that

17:13- Sir Pentious would've liked pancakes :((((((

Ad Time! I don't care about hard Rock Cafe I just want to know whether or not Sir Pentious is actually dead please I'm going through all the stages of grief right now and Brandan Rogers just came on my screen as Katie killjoy please

18:04- Keke :(

Oh my God they're going to find him in the rubble right? ... Right?? Right guys right???????

18:10- fat nuggets survived that's good I see a rock that looks suspiciously shaped like Sir Pentious military hat whoa guys I wonder if that means anything and it looks like it's up like someone is standing? Whoa I wonder if they'll check behind that rock please

18:16- wait is he actually dead I'm genuinely about to cry

19:16- I am not crying about his death until the episode ends I am not crying until it is 100% CONFIRMED that he died

20:50- omg alastor's alive, he's in his Jack's skeleton era that means that maybe Sir Pentious is also-

21:08- friends :) he said friends just saying

22:04- I TOLD YOU I FUCKING TOLD YOU I TOLD YOU THAT BY DYING IT WAS JUST A CHARACTER BEING REDEEMED I TOLD YOU I'M SO SMART I'M NOT EATING PAPER HAHAHAHAHA I'M THE GREATEST MAN ALIVE HE'S NOT DEAD MY SNAKE BOY ISN'T DEAD HOW DID I GET SO ATTACHED TO HIM I DON'T KNOW BUT I LOVE HIM YES I CAN'T EXPRESS MY EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW I'M GENUINELY SO HAPPY THIS IS WHY THIS IS WHY I WAITED UNTIL THE VERY END TO CRY ABOUT HIM I KNEW HE WASN'T GOING TO BE DEAD THEY WOULDN'T KILL HIM OFF THEY WOULDN'T KILL MY SNAKE BOY OFF JUST LIKE THAT

22:34- you're telling me Lilith was just doing hot girl shit on the beach for 7 years.

[aerodaltonimperial]

Might be a little late for besties prompts but I had a Bad Idea and figured I'd share it - remember your headcanon from your euclid aftermath fic, that Jack would need to be coached in, ahem, certain matters? What if Jack realised that himself and decided to ask his best bro for advice?

(i'm sobbing, this is so terribad, but here we go)

The knocking is an insistent, erratic rhythm until Hook opens the door to reveal Jack on the other side. "I need help," Jack proclaims, and pushes in without another word.

"What kind of help?" Hook asks, and then glances at the clock on the bedside table. "Jack, it's after midnight. Can't this be a text? Or wait until tomorrow?"

"This can't be a text." Jack holds his hands up, as though steadying himself. He sucks in a deep breath as his gaze skitters off to the side, and then goes back to Hook's face. "I think I might be a bad kisser."

Hook stares at him for long enough that Jack starts nervously fidgeting back and forth. "Goodbye, Jack."

"No, no, no! Hear me out, hear me out, please. Listen." Jack grabs Hook's arm with too-tight fingers. "Listen. I was in the middle of...progressing things, okay?"

"Jack, oh my god, no."

"And then she got all weird, and kind of squirrelly, and ended up leaving and wouldn't tell me why. It has to be me."

"Yeah, your personality and the fact that you came here at 12:30 to dump this on me. Bye."

"Hook!" Jack's grip tightens, and he's gonna leave bruises at this rate. "What if I'm a bad kisser? How do you ask this? I need help!"

Hook is gonna kill him. He's gonna redrum Jack into the cheap hotel carpet and never look back again. "I cannot believe we are having this conversation right now."

"Well, I need your help! You're the only one I can trust."

"How am I even supposed to tell you if you're wrong or right?" Hook demands. And then, when Jack sort of...purses his mouth funny, groans. "No. No. Jack. Absolutely not."

"Please. I have to know."

"Go find someone else!"

Hook tries to shake Jack off, and Jack throws his arms around Hook's entire torso, clasping his hands on the other side like a vice. "Hook! You're my best friend! I need you for this, there's no one else I can ask!"

"Oh my god." Hook shakes his arms to no avail. Jack is a spider monkey with a death lock on his wrists. "Okay, okay, Jesus Christ. Just...let go."

Reluctantly, Jack complies. Hook pushes him into the center of the room with both hands flat against Jack's shoulders. He sucks in the longest breath ever and counts. Then he sighs. "Okay."

"Okay?" Jack repeats.

"Just...ugh." Hook leans forward to kiss him. It's fast: a chaste press of their closed mouths together. When he pulls back, Jack's expression is deeply annoyed.

"How are you going to tell anything from that?" he asks. "That was like a 13-year-old kissing his crush on the playground."

"Come on," Hook whines. "God, this is the worst."

But, ugh, whatever. He's probably kissed people in the past that he regrets way more than this. He leans in again and fine, fine, this time he puts some effort into it. Jack's mouth is a lot more pliable than some of Hook's lip-locking partners have been, so it's not like it's horrible from the get-go or anything. And when Hook offers more pressure, coaxing Jack's lips apart, the man obliges without hesitation. It's not bad. Actually, it's pretty good—Jack sweeps his tongue in along Hook's lower lip but doesn't press the issue too hard, and gets a hold of Hook's head as though he's going to control the angle they work from, touch just strong enough to be a suggestion.

By the time they pull apart, Hook's breathing a little hard, a sure sign that the whole situation was working for him. He presses his tongue against the corner of his mouth, and says, "No, no, that was pretty good, actually. I don't think it was you."

"What?" Jack balks. "What else could it be?"

His phone dings from his pocket. Frowning, he pulls it out and types in his passcode, eyes flickering across the screen as he reads. Then his expression changes. "Oh."

"Oh what?" Hook asks.

"She, uh, ended up getting sick. Left because she didn't feel good." Jack has the decency to look guilty. "So, uh."

"Are you fucking serious? Jack. Now we're both probably going to get sick!"

"Ah. Well. Hm." Jack nods. "Okay. I might have overreacted a little bit here."

Hook stares at him. "You think?"

"If it makes you feel any better, you're a great kisser?" Jack offers.

"I hate you so much right now." Then Hook pauses, contemplative. "You said great?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'd say great, yeah."

Well, that's a win, Hook supposes. And that's pretty much all he has to cling to when the two of them both spend the next 48 hours with the stomach flu, stuck on their respective bathroom floors as they pray for the sweet release of death.

[the-invisible-queer]

HELLO I'VE DISCOVERED THAT YOU CAN SUBMIT ANONYMOUSLY BY LOGGING OUT OF TUMBLR so now we're finally back, with another wholly unnecessary and novel-length timeline of a Jonas Brother’s hoe ass antics. I almost didn’t do a Nick timeline after the Joe one, for reasons I’ll explain when I get there, but like I said I needed something to distract me/kill some time and writing out an extensive history of this man’s Nonsense turned out to be great for that, so here we are. I’m sorry so much of this focuses on the Disney love triangle (my preteen ass was HOOKED on that soap opera and apparently a lot of it has just been dormant in my brain ever since) and even more sorry it’s INSANELY long. Though at the end of the day it’s not my fault that this man’s teenage years alone were such a goddamn mess that they require extensive lore to fully explain so. Blame Nick for all of this is what I’m saying.

Same disclaimer as with Joe’s, this is all just stuff I remember with no research or anything, so I’m sure some of it is probably wrong and very sure some things were left out. Also I had to kind of weirdly switch up my formatting here since Nick’s first two relationships were extremely…entangled...for a while and couldn’t really be cleanly divided into “every girl gets her own bullet point” the way Joe’s timeline could, so bear with me:

Nick and Miley started dating in 2006, when they were both 13 years old. They were allegedly introduced by Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens (which is ICONIC honestly, like the passing of the Official Disney Power Couple torch) and apparently became attached at the hip right away. Here are some random bits of Niley 1.0 lore that I remember:

Nick once claimed that Franklin (who was like five at the time) also had a crush on Miley before they met and “tried to beat him up” when he found out they’d started dating. This is genuinely one of my favorite bits of Jonas lore ever lol like please that’s so funny and cute

At some point in like 2007 Miley was papped holding her phone in such a way that the background was clearly visible, and it was a pic of her and Nick kissing, which was hilariously major news on the tween gossip sites back in the day since they were still playing the “we’re just best friends!” game at the time; the same thing happened again when she was heavily photographed at an event with “I <3 Nick” written on her hand. At some point one has to assume she was doing this on purpose.

In literally like the mid-2010s Nick finally admitted that Miley was his first kiss (which, no shit??? Incredibly funny that he played coy about that info for years when like bro, you were 12 and homeschooled before her, literally who else would you have been kissing), and said he was embarrassed to realize later that he kissed her right after eating something with a bunch of onions on it and his breath probably smelled terrible.

According to a 2007 interview that I still vividly remember to this day, Miley and a certain “friend” (there’s Disney’s favorite word again) dressed up as Sonny and Cher for Halloween 2006. The fact that not a single photo of this has ever surfaced nearly two decades later remains one of the greatest disappointments of my life.

Niley 1.0 lasted roughly a year and a half: according to Miley’s autobiography, they started dating in June 2006 and broke up in December 2007, with one short ‘break’ at some unspecified point in between. During said break Miley wrote the song G.N.O. and a few others, and Nick wrote S.O.S., Still In Love With You and possibly some other songs I’m forgetting. They also worked together a lot during their relationship, filming the boys’ iconic Hannah Montana episode and then going on tour together with the boys opening for her on the Best of Both Worlds tour, which awkwardly was still going on when they broke up. Miley claimed they ended things mutually because they were just too busy to manage a relationship at the time, never getting to spend much time together because they were both so busy with work, and had started fighting a lot from all the stress they were under. Speculation abounded about whether or not that was truly the reason, especially once Selena hit the scene so quickly and the “you love me you like her” of it all, but it was the official story regardless.

Immediately post-breakup Miley dyed her hair black as a rebellion against Nick, who apparently liked her to have blonde highlights when they were together, and Nick seemingly coped with the breakup in a different way because rumors about him and Selena started cropping up as early as January 2008. One such rumor I remember involved them allegedly flirting at the Best of Both Worlds movie premiere, which is so hilariously shameless that I could easily believe it of Baby Fuckboy Nick despite there being, as far as I’m aware, zero actual evidence supporting it. Regardless of when it actually started though, by I want to say spring of 2008 Nick and Selena were definitely a thing and Miley was definitely mad about it. It was at this point that this entire mess truly started derailing into the endlessly chaotic trainwreck that captivated tweens all over the world for the next two years.

Very rough timeline of Nelena 1.0/general 2008 triangle lore, listed in the probably incorrect order that I vaguely remember things happening in when I was like 12:

Miley and her friend Mandy uploaded an episode of their “The Miley and Mandy Show” Youtube series pretty obviously making fun of Selena and Demi, who at the time were very close besties which just made Demi also guilty by association I guess. This video was the official start of The Feud between Miley and Selena (and their respective sidekicks for a while). Shortly after this they uploaded another video ‘apologizing’ for causing drama, saying it was all in good fun and the girls were all friends; this apology was blatantly insincere and nobody believed it.

Private photos Miley’d sent to Nick during their relationship, clearly intended for his eyes only, were leaked online after her computer was hacked. We don’t need to discuss this in any further detail as it was really gross and invasive, especially considering Miley was very much a minor at the time, but it was a notable event within the love triangle lore so I couldn’t not mention it.

The Burnin’ Up music video dropped, featuring Selena as Nick’s love interest. Fans everywhere were SHOOK by this, both because it seemed like much more of an official relationship confirmation than Disney “We’re Just Friends” Channel stars were normally allowed to give AND because fans quickly started putting together that Burnin’ Up was likely written about Miley, who’d worn the famous high heels/red dress combo commonly thought to have inspired it to an event with Nick long before Selena was even in the picture at all. The drama! The mess! To this day I would love to know if this casting choice was Nick’s decision or if it was Disney’s – it was heavily speculated that Disney sometimes escalated the love triangle drama on purpose, either to capitalize on it for publicity or to distance Nick’s image from Miley’s after the photo scandal by associating him with Good Girl™ Selena instead – but it was very entertaining either way. All of this was truly great television tbh.

The 7 Things music video also dropped, featuring a lot of very blatant references to Nick and completely gagging all of us again before we’d even finished gagging over Burnin’ Up. (I genuinely don’t remember now if these two songs/videos actually premiered like a week apart or not, but that’s definitely what it felt like at the time lol. Just new bits of wild drama dropping every other day like these damn kids thought they were Kendrick and Drake. It was insane to live through as part of the target demographic and tbh this whole experience probably rewired my brain permanently and is why I’m like this.) Dissecting this song and video kept fans busy for a good while; I still remember how super smart my friends and I felt when we realized the melody of 7 Things was just the melody of Hello Beautiful sped up.

Kevin, of all people, popped up somewhere wearing a “Team Demi and Selena” shirt in reference to the ongoing feud between them and Miley + Mandy. He of course denied that it was referencing this and IIRC tried to claim it had something to do with like a bowling team that Demi and Selena were supposedly starting??? Okay, Kevin. Again, I’d love to know if Disney orchestrated that or what bc otherwise what was his grown ass doing jumping into beef between a bunch of like 15-year-old girls to begin with lmao

At some point Nick was directly asked if 7 Things was about him and said it couldn’t be because his friends aren’t jerks, which is somehow the funniest possible answer he could have given so props to him for that one honestly

Miley performed 7 Things live at some event that all the other Disney kids were at, and during the song she walked into the audience to where Selena was and they sang a line or two together. Around this time (I can’t remember if it was also at this event or a different one) the three Disney girls took pictures together and Demi and Selena took pictures with the boys, but Miley avoided them. I remember there being speculation around this time that Nick and Selena might have been on a break or at least having issues, bc of how very suddenly the two girls appeared to start getting along and bc of Selena lowkey shading her own boyfriend? But I have no idea if that was true or not. Nick was probably rattled either way though lmao

Miley’s album Breakout dropped, obviously featuring a lot of songs about Nick but, infinitely more unexpected than that, also featuring a message at the very end of the dedication page thanking ‘Prince Charming’ for inspiring the album and saying “I loved you then, I love you now, and I’ll love you always.” Fans reached levels of gagged so unprecedented that one girl I personally knew jumped the Team Nelena ship and converted over this.

JB’s album A Little Bit Longer dropped (again, what felt like very very shortly after but may not have actually been idk, I’m not about to look up release dates for this) also obviously featuring a lot of songs about Miley – and ones spanning their entire relationship, at that. I don’t think I truly realized until years later how funny it actually was that Lovebug and Can’t Have You were literally released at the exact same time lol.

At some point in the midst of all this 15-year-old Miley started dating a 20-year-old underwear model, which always creeped me out even as a literal child. Not long into their relationship said pedo boyfriend took the tween gossip world by storm by dressing up as Nick for Halloween, which at the time I found somewhat funny despite my reservations with him, but looking back on that as an adult it’s sooooo…that kid is barely sixteen. Why are you dating this teenager and mocking her also teenage ex over their messy teenage beef that does not concern your grown adult ass literally at all AND ALSO WHY THE FUCK AREN’T YOU IN PRISON. Anyway. 12-year-old me always lowkey tried to avoid learning anything about this pedo since he creeped me out, so I really don’t know when exited the picture, but he must not have lasted super long because…

In roughly early 2009, Nick and Selena broke up. Just like last time it did NOT take Nick long to bounce straight back to his other option and in no time at all he and Miley were fueling rumors, publicly flirting and suddenly hanging out again – the iconic lunch date where they were seen alone together for the first time since their breakup and where Nick embarrassed himself by getting into a fender bender while driving his ex around lmao happened during this time period. I remember that Selena spent a lot of time publicly angsting and vagueposting about all of this on Twitter, but can’t really recall the specifics of that anymore. It was clear she was going through it though.

Niley 2.0/general mid-2009 lore highlights, again probably out of order somewhere (also for the full effect imagine all of these things happening literally back-to-back within the span of like two months):

Miley’s book released, suddenly revealing a ton of Niley 1.0 lore all at once. A lot of fans who met Nick around this time got him to sign the ‘Prince Charming’ chapter page of their copy, which admittedly was very funny and something I’m still surprised he actually did.

Before the Storm was written and recorded somewhere in all of this.

Miley, Selena, Demi and the boys all filmed the Send It On music video and its accompanying Disney Channel ads, including several clips the three girls had to do together in which it was painfully obvious that Miley and Selena couldn’t stand each other and poor Demi looked like she’d rather be eating glass than sitting there between them. Candids from the set dropped showing Nick appearing playful and flirty with both girls during filming, despite Niley being pretty obviously back on by this point and him and Selena still seeming to be on bad terms otherwise?

Joe opened his big mouth on Larry King and accidentally confirmed Niley 2.0 despite Nick trying desperately to avoid this, surprising no one but greatly amusing everyone (except Nick).

Nick flew out to visit Miley while she was filming The Last Song in Georgia, where paps caught potato-quality yet still iconic pics of them making out on a jet ski.

Miley made a surprise appearance to sing Before the Storm with Nick for opening night of the boys’ tour, which remains to this day the only time they’ve ever performed it live as a duet.

Selena Gomez & The Scene dropped a song called I Won’t Apologize which (on top of just dragging Nick for filth in general) pretty obviously referenced the love triangle, basically saying he’d tried to turn her into Miley or at least that she’d felt like she needed to turn into Miley to make him happy, and also seemed to imply there was overlap between Nelena 1.0 and Niley 2.0. At the time this last bit was very scandalous lore for young fans to digest, even though in hindsight that was really like. The least surprising revelation ever lmao. ALSO this song was meant to be like an empowered I Don’t Need No Man anthem, with her being all “you don’t deserve me” and “I won’t go back again” which is just…genuinely so fucking funny in context. Spoiler alert: she sure as fuck will go back again.

Then at some point that summer Miley got into her own insane love triangle which somehow seemed even messier than the first one, and after a few weeks of general chaos and confusion (apparently so confusing that even Miley herself walked away unsure of some of the exact dates involved) things eventually culminated with her and Nick apparently breaking up again and her stepping out with co-star Liam Hemsworth not long after. Mess upon mess. I very vaguely remember that in the months following Niley 2.0.’s death Nick was spotted two or three times with…some girl who had like a bit part in one of the Camp Rock movies, I think? I want to say Courtney or Chloe something but again I’m not looking shit up for this. To this day I’m not really clear on if there was anything to that or if it was just a rumor bc he was seen near a girl during his first time ever being single for more than like a month, but if he and Random Third Girl actually did have anything it must have been very brief because…

Did Nick learn from the experience of seemingly being on the other end of a love triangle, as one of the two people being played with at once by the third, that this feels like shit and maybe he shouldn’t do it to girls anymore? NOPE! By late 2009 he’d already run straight back to Selena, who happily took him right back as if she hadn’t just spent the last year publicly whacking him all over Twitter and in her music. God every single one of these kids was a fucking disaster GIRL WHERE’S THE SELF-RESPECT WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT ENTIRE DISS TRACK YOU WROTE

Anyway. Nelena 2.0 and general 2010 lore highlights, once again probably out of order but oh well:

Miley was very blatantly pissed when Nelena reunited and publicly shaded both of them several times, despite the facts that 1) she actively had a boyfriend at the time and 2) by all appearances she was the one who’d dumped Nick for someone else anyway, because apparently her not wanting Nick did not mean Selena could have him. Okay girl. One of these occasions that I remember being HUGE gossip was when she changed the lyrics in 7 Things to say Nick’s brothers were jerks, rather than his friends; it remains unclear to this day what, if anything, the brothers did around this time to suddenly warrant their own specific lashing.

Nick Jonas & The Administration’s album Who I Am dropped, featuring several songs commonly thought to be about each of the girls, but I don’t think Nick ever explicitly confirmed any of them.

For some occasion (maybe Valentine’s Day?) Nick, nothing if not dramatic, built some sort of elaborate rose garden at Selena’s house as a surprise – likely a reference to the NJ&TA song Rose Garden which was allegedly about her. Roughly a year later after they’d broken up again Selena would do her own on-stage lyric change in reference to this, bitterly saying something like “the roses you built me were only made of plastic.”

Justin Bieber made his first appearance in Selena’s life while she was still with Nick. While there’s no evidence that anything beyond some mild public flirting happened between them until after Nelena 2.0 ended, him showing up in this timeline at all is still just…incredibly fucking funny to me. A THIRD love triangle has somehow hit the fucking towers.

Nick performed the song Stay for the first time, setting off a fandom debate over its muse that still persists to this day. Some think it was about Selena because they were together at the time and because she was present and seen crying in the audience when he performed it; others think it was about Miley because she also had a song called Stay that Nick’s seemed to directly respond to in a lot of ways, and because Selena’s tears as he sang it didn’t really look like particularly happy ones. Many OG fans still have passionate opinions about this today, and we will almost certainly never find out which group is right.

Nelena 2.0 was ultimately rather brief, not lasting more than 3 or 4 months into 2010 I’m pretty sure, and with its death the official Disney love triangle era finally concluded as Selena jumped out of the frying pan into the fire left Nick behind to enter her Bieber era, which by all appearances was also a giant chaotic mess because apparently none of these kids ever did anything that wasn’t. It was at this point that Nick finally started to have confirmed relationships with people who weren’t the same two girls over and over, so we can finally try out the relationship bullet points now.

At some point that couldn’t have been more than a couple months at most post-Nelena, in like mid-2010, Nick started dating Samantha Barks whom he met while they were preparing to star in the Les Mis 25th Anniversary Concert together. They were pretty quiet about it, and I was also hyperfixating on something non-JB at the moment and not super interested in general, so I’ve never known too much about this and am honestly not sure if there was even any more public info to know. As far as I remember this relationship was also not particularly long-lived, lasting like 5-6 months maybe, but also didn’t seem to involve any public drama which was a new and refreshing change for Nick.

I’m really fuzzy on the order here but somewhere in 2010, right around the time Jonas L.A. started airing and their characters were will-they-or-won’t-they-ing and then dating, it was rumored that Nick and Nicole Anderson were together. Most fans never believed this (I personally still don’t) as with the timing it seemed like a very obvious ploy for show publicity, but to this day there are some truthers out there who insist something happened between them. If it did then it must have either been very short-lived or overlapped with either Selena or Samantha, if not both – but by this point it was clear Baby Fuckboy Nick was no stranger to his relationships lowkey overlapping so honestly who fucking knows.

GUESS WHO’S BACK, BACK AGAIN. MILEY’S BACK, TELL A FRIEND. Niley 3.0, which happened in I want to say very early 2011, was Nick and Miley’s briefest and last obvious attempt at…something. It was never clear if they were really back together during this period or just hooking up or what, but they were definitely doing something notable enough to include here. (Bonus: Miley was definitely also still being messy with Liam, who by this point she’d also already been on-again off-again with like twice, at the exact same time as this all this was happening because of course she was. Why would any of these damn kids ever have had one unhealthy situationship going at a time when they could have two?) They were pretty quiet about things this time and I also still wasn’t paying super close attention, so I don’t remember much aside from a few spottings of them together and a lot of vague Twitter flirting, and it didn’t seem to last longer than a few months. ALSO there was a really weird incident during this time where the day after an event they both attended, where they were rumored to have been very flirty and left in the same car, several articles came out alleging that Nick and/or his car had been spotted outside Miley’s house that night or the next morning…and then all of these articles just disappeared all at once. Like they were literally scrubbed from the internet, leaving only some gossip site comments from the young fans who’d happened to see them (including me which is how I vividly remember this) as the only recorded evidence that they ever existed at all. The most accepted theory for this bizarre occurrence is that it was true, there were pictures that someone was threatening to publish, and Disney, not wanting to clean up a “purity ring-touting teenage star spends the night with girl he’s not even officially dating” scandal and beyond rich enough to take the hit, just paid everyone off to make the entire situation go away by gaslighting everyone who had seen the original articles. So. That was a thing that happened once.

In like spring 2011 Nick started dating Delta Goodrem, who at the time was 26 or 27 and very fresh out of a broken engagement with another grown ass adult while he was barely 18 with no relationship experience outside of at most a small handful of teenage girls around his age. This relationship always made me uncomfortable at the time and if anything makes me much more uncomfortable now that I’m an adult, so I intentionally did not follow it at all then and am not about to seek out any information about it now either. All I really know is that it did seem to be relatively short-lived, which I can only imagine was probably a good thing.

At some point in like 2012 or early 2013, Nick and Rita Ora were seen talking at a couple of events. They looked kind of flirty but I don’t recall anyone thinking there was anything to it beyond them maybe hooking up once until he namedropped her in the song What Do I Mean, seemingly implying she’d burned him in some way…but when Rita was asked about it, she said she was super confused by the song because they were always just friends and she had no idea he liked her. Apparently she confronted him about it and he admitted he must not have done a good job expressing his feelings, and I guess it was all some kind of weird misunderstanding between them that he...made no attempts to clarify with her before publicly calling her out in an angry song. Alright then?

Olivia Culpo showed up in I want to say mid-2013. For full disclosure I was already not super into Nick when their relationship started, and after he broke up the band and then picked up his solo frat boy Jealous persona that I was just very very not into – it reminded me of my controlling over-possessive ex and grossed me out – I pretty much completely lost interest in him and just stopped following him at all for a few years, so I honestly missed most of their relationship entirely. Mostly all I remember of Olivia is that she wasn’t well-liked in the fandom (at least not in the beginning when I was still paying attention) because she and her family and friends were…incredibly blatant about very much enjoying the attention that her dating Nick brought them, we’ll say, and also quickly developed a reputation for being rude to fans both in person and online. Nick largely seemed happy with her though and they lasted…around two years? I think? She presumably inspired much of his early solo discography and I’m pretty sure appeared in at least one music video. Again, creepy possessive solo Nick gave me the ick, so I wasn’t consuming any of this and only know what I picked up through osmosis while keeping up with the fandom just enough to somewhat keep tabs on Joe and Kevin. (I do vaguely remember seeing a lot of discussion among fans about Nick’s then-bestie Demi not seeming to like Olivia/being subtly snarky about her on multiple occasions, which…hoo boy we’ll get to all THAT in a minute.) I want to say they broke up at some point in 2015. I feel like there should be more things to note in this section considering I’m pretty sure this was his longest continuous relationship until his marriage, but if there are I simply am not the person to note them because I just truly don’t know crap about this era of Nick’s life.

Continuing on from that, there was still at least a good few years post-Nolivia where I wasn’t keeping up with Nick at all, so other than the next few bullet points (that I learned about mostly via keeping up with the other person involved and not him) I really have no clue what he was doing. At some point he was connected to Kendall Jenner, and then I think Kate Hudson??? I have zero idea when these relationships happened, how long either of them lasted, or if they were even relationships at all or just rumors I saw on my infrequent trips through Jonas Twitter. This is why I almost didn’t write a Nick timeline to begin with, because there’s this whole big chunk of time that I’m just blank on so there’s definitely stuff missing. Sorry.

GUESS WHO ELSE IS BACK! BACK AGAIN!!! In I want to say 2015 there was a super weird little moment where Nick and Selena hung out together at some event, looking a little flirty, and then like a few days later he dropped the horny song Area Code out of nowhere and liked a bunch of tweets implying it was about Selena. Clearly this led to nothing, so I can’t count whatever this was as Nelena 3.0, but it was still notable and also very funny so I’m including it anyway. Jury’s still out on if they hooked up that one night and the song was written in response or if they didn’t hook up but he wanted to and put the song out as a request to be booty called; I’m equally amused by it either way. Maybe a tiny bit of subtlety next time, Nicholas.

This is kinda out of order but while we’re talking about the Disney days rising from the dead, Miley also popped back up a few times in surprisingly recent years, especially every time she and Liam broke up because Nick was apparently still perfectly eager to be her back-up plan. I feel like roughly 2015 and early 2018 both had periods where those two were suddenly interacting much more than usual, mostly via social media flirting that made observant fans wonder if something else was going on in private. Obviously we have no way to really know if anything was actually happening or if Nick commenting heart emojis all over every pic she posted was an attempt to make something happen that went nowhere, but either way it’s still enough to include here. (Also I didn’t mention it when we were on 2012 but obligatory shoutout to Nick performing Wedding Bells for the first time after Miley got engaged, which was genuinely ballsy as hell and a lowkey insane thing to do. Gagged the absolute hell out of literally everyone.)

Okay, now we have to talk about Demi. No one truly knows what exactly happened between these two, and unless Demi one of them decides to spill the tea in a memoir or something someday we probably never will, but whatever happened was definitely notable enough to be listed here. Basically they were very close friends for a long time and over that time other feelings definitely developed on at least Demi’s part, which was long suspected but finally confirmed in I think late 2017 when she dropped the songs Ruin the Friendship and Only Forever – both of which were clearly and unsubtly about Nick (No I Can’t Keep Denying Every Minute I think of you!), despite her refusing to outright confirm this no matter how many interviewers bluntly brought it up. She also claimed that the person they were written about had written songs about her too; many theories exist about this to this day but, as far as I’m aware, no one knows for sure which of Nick’s songs are about Demi or if these alleged songs were ever even publicly released in the first place. I can’t remember if Nick ever publicly responded to this whole ‘my best friend just told the whole world she’s both in love with and horny for me’ scandal or not (I kind of want to say he just ignored all of it and acted like nothing ever happened lol which…valid way to deal with that situation, I guess) but they did seem to spend a bit less time together right after that and it’s often speculated to have been the beginning of the end for their friendship. I’m not sure when exactly things exploded but I remember she publicly complained about not being invited to his wedding in late 2018, after unfollowing him on social media I think weeks or months before; there was seemingly a bit of drama between her and the boys when she left their formerly-shared team/manager and they stayed; and by 2020 she said in an interview that she no longer kept in contact with any of the boys. Two unreleased Demi songs have leaked in the years since that seemed to add more context to their falling out: Ain’t No Friend, which basically said he betrayed or abandoned her when she needed him most, and Big Little Lies, which seemed to confirm that there was something romantic between them at some point, or at the very least that Nick had made empty promises of something romantic happening in the future, and also implied he didn’t tell her about his engagement before the public found out and…kind of confirmed that the news was hard for her (I don’t really want to touch this too much but a lot of speculation exists that Nick getting engaged and Demi almost fatally overdosing like a few days later were directly related events). As far as I can tell they still don’t seem to be on speaking terms today, or at least they never interact publicly despite Demi having positive public interactions with Joe and Kevin since then, but apparently she did go to the boys’ Remember This tour in 2021? So. There’s that I guess.

In what must have been like April 2018, there was a series of pap pics of Nick kissing some totally random girl in Australia or somewhere after he like helped her when she fell off her bike or something???? Idk. The whole thing was very strange and I remember a lot of people speculating that it must be staged bc both the pictures and the whole situation were just so bizarre. As far as I know the girl was never identified and never popped back up with Nick again. Also this was very literally the last thing I heard that Nick was up to until literally like two months later when I heard he was suddenly engaged to a completely different person, which was a fucking insane thing to experience. This man’s life is such an enigma.

Anyway in like summer 2018 he got engaged to Priyanka, who I guess he’d met at some previous time when I wasn’t looking, and then a few months later they got married and now they have a kid. There’s…not much else for me to say about that really lol. The fun of these things is truly in recounting the past messiness, not the current longterm relationship everyone already knows.

SO WE’RE FINALLY DONE! That was absolutely ridiculous and I should be ashamed to have spent so much time on it but here it is. This actually was a really good distraction when I needed it but please feel free to judge me for possessing all this useless knowledge regardless lmao

[adultswim2021]

The Venture Bros. #49: "Pinstripes & Poltergeists" | December 14, 2009 - 12:00AM | S04E08

The mid-season finale! The season four split of Venture Bros has been covered somewhat, but basically the boys burnt themselves out behind the scenes and needed a break, so they asked Adult Swim if they could cut season four into two halves, while also upping the episode order from 13 episodes to 16 episodes. The network went for it, and it took them nearly a whole ‘nother year to deliver the back half. So, this ends up sorta being a mini-finale.

This is another one of those episodes that’s more effective if you’re devoted to the story of Venture Bros. Meaning: it’s a little light on laughs. There are jokes in here, and they’re all fine, but there probably won’t be a big long list of all the times I laughed at this one or anything like that. It’s goal is mostly to get Brock back into the fold and to set up story elements that are going to come into play for the second half of season four. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I prefer when the show makes me laugh. But I don’t not care about the story, either. 

In this one: The Monarch gets swindled by Monstroso (mentioned in a previous episode and now here in front of our eyes) into signing a bad deal thinking that he’s merely going to help the Monarch defeat Dr. Venture. Turns out he’s signed away his rights to arch Dr. Venture to Monstroso.

Monstroso’s methods are lawyerly by nature, attempting to financially ruin Dr. Venture by making him use a certain amount of square footage of his compound towards some public good. When scoping out an abandoned factory on his property he discovers that Brock and SPHINX, the super-secret organization dedicated to stopping villainy that falls outside the purview of the OSI by being non-costumed and non-Guild-of-Calamitous-Intent-affiliated, have been using the space secretly. In other words: Brock has been with the Ventures this entire time. Aww. 

Also of note: 21 is shown speaking to 24’s ghost. We’d seen him chatting with 24’s skull throughout this season. He also confronts Brock, a callback to the scene in Tag-Sale, You’re It (apparently repeating the same dialogue) where 21 tries to take Brock on with a non-working light-saber. Brock’s dismissive “boo.” to get 21 to run away is now met with a punch to Brock’s face. Brock doesn’t kill 21, but his newfound respect for giving him a decent fight leads him to team up with him to go beat up Monstroso. The episode ends with Brock casually eating a bowl of cereal in the Venture’s kitchen and Hank, in a delayed reaction, being stunned to find him there. 

SPHINX were previously portrayed as bad guys, but it’s explained that when they were conquered, it was decided to just take all their Egypt-themed crap and use it to start what’s essentially a new group. This explanation seems squarely aimed at the fans of the show who just wish it were an unironic action cartoon. But it's alright! I like it fine, okay! I'm not pissed off at all! At this, I mean.

EPHEMERA CORNER

The Family Guy Chicken Star Wars Double Feature (December 20, 2009)

Sometimes I’ll make note of something to cover for Ephemera Corner; like some kind of specially scheduling thing Adult Swim does that in theory is worth mentioning. But then it comes time to talk about it and it’s like damn, I do not care about this at all. Consider how now in 2024, it seems like they run marathons of certain shows all the time, just because that’s a proven-to-work model for cable television nowadays. So, I might get choosier with these EPHEMERA CORNER programming things.

But for those of you who care: Take note, Star Wars heads! Your favorite Seths went head to head and did a Star War double feature rivaling the Ewok TV Movies. The sci-fi epic about one man turning to the darkside and deciding to deprive his children of committing incest with each other by moving them to different planets will knock your socks off, because that’s what this is: It’s just the movie Star Wars but with cartoon guys in it. I don’t even think they changed the words or anything. Have fun imagining how it must’ve played with 2009-era commercial breaks.

[doggiewoggiez]

what is the reading list you’ve been doing

This meme. Got reposted from 4chan to Reddit to Twitter and finally to Tumblr. I'll update this post as I read each book. Here's the complete list:

1. Goosebumps #28: The Cuckoo Clock of Doom - R.L. Stine. Very middle of the road Goosebumps book not especially good but not terrible. 6/10 dead sisters.

2. Call of the Crocodile - F. Gardner. This book is a meme on /lit/ cause the dude's batshit and is constantly trying to promote his books that are extremely poorly written. He calls himself a famous author, doesn't believe gorillas or giraffes are real, and advocates chainsmoking cigarettes to help with the writing process. This book is the funniest thing I've ever read and made me so fucking angry by being so awful. 10/10 misplaced commas.

3. No Longer Human - Osamu Dazai. A semi-autobiographical story published before the author's suicide about a severely mentally ill character named Oba Yozo through his life of addiction, women, suicide attempts, and so on. An incredibly depressing read. His whole inner life is laid bare and it's disgusting and grotesque and you see yourself in him and you wish you could hold him and cry for him but even if you could you would never have the power to make anything okay. Beautiful fucking book, genuinely 100% no fucking joke changed my life. 10000/10 shitty cyberpunk adaptations.

4. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoevsky. I cried hard as fuck dude. Another life changer for reals. Dostoevsky had such a deep understanding of human nature whether it be the lowest, most base and vile instincts or the unending capacity for love and compassion that exist in us all. All while being the blueprint for like every heady crime drama like Death Note, Breaking Bad, etc. The shit all you fags like. Most people just remember it as maybe required HS reading and definitely something people are pretentious about but it 100% deserves all the love it gets. Fan fucking tastic. 100000/10 years in Siberia.

5. Becoming - Michelle Obama. A bit too heavily ghostwritten, but when Michelle's voice shows through it's not terrible, it's kind of interesting to hear the inside scoop on White House life. It's kind of sad that Barack is the most interesting part of the book, and book-Barack seems like an extremely interesting and cool guy. But the book doesn't address all his dead civilians. 5/10 drone strikes.

6. Ulysses - James Joyce. The modernist novel, from what I understand. Half retelling of the Odyssey in 1900s Ireland, half a troll on literary critics, all around a pretty damn fun read. Not very far yet. Definitely the most difficult thing I've ever tried to read. Unfinished/10 Agenbites of inwit

7. 48 Laws of Power. This is like, THE sigma bro self help book as far as I've heard. It's pretty iconic, but I'm not especially excited for it.

8. Frankenstein - Mary Shelley. We all know it and love it, I'm interested to read the OG story.

9. Catechism of the Catholic Church 2nd Edition. Book from the Vatican that lays out what the church's official opinions, rules, shit like that are. Will be boring but interesting.

10. The God Delusion - Richard Dawkins. One of the biggest atheist dude books there is and probably by far the most influential. God is bad people who believe in God are stupid etc etc. Hopefully it has something interesting to say and isn't just a jerk off. It might just be a jerk off.

11. The Love Hypothesis - Ali Hazelwood. Some booktok romance schlock afaik. People make fun of it.

12. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole. All I know is it's about a guy in New Orleans in the 60s. Might be good, people seem to really like it.

13. The Art of War - Sun Tzu. Im gonna get so good at surprising my enemy.

14. Kodomo no Jikan - Kaworu Watashiya. Pure pedoslop, I don't think there's even an official English translation so we might not read it but I'm preemptively giving it 0/10.

15. The Iliad - Homer. The story of the Trojan war. All I know is Helen, Horse, and that's about it.

16. The Odyssey - Homer. It's the Odyssey. I think it's funny that it comes after Ulysses since I don't actually know the whole story of the Odyssey itself.

17. Ted Bundy: Conversations with a Killer - Stephen G. Michaud and Hugh Aynesworth. This is that thing they made a Netflix doc about a while back.

18. The C++ Programming Language 4th edition - Bjarne Stroustrup. Exactly what it says on the tin, by the guy who wrote the language.

19. Empress Theresa - Norman Boutin. A classic, it's a weird self-published story by a guy who's extremely unwell, usually referenced in the same way Sonichu is.

20. The Sound and the Fury - William Faulkner. His most difficult to read work, about a Southern family at the beginning of the 20th century.

21. Black Future #1 - Whitney Ryan. A very racist BNWO sissification porn story that was probably written as a joke. Possible skip definite 0/10.

22. The Cat in the Hat - Dr. Seuss. You know this.

23. The Trial - Franz Kafka. One of Kafka's most famous unfinished works, about a guy who's on trial for something and he doesn't know what.

24. American Psycho - Bret Easton Ellis. Supposed to be way darker and more fucked up than the movie, really supposed to chill you to the bone afaik. VERY excited for this read.

25. Gravity's Rainbow - Thomas Pynchon. One of those famous "Really Fucking Long And Hard Books" like Infinite Jest or Ulysses, incredibly autistic foray into WW2 rocket science. Classic Pynchonery.

26. Magick In Theory and Practice - Aleister Crowley. Thankfully it's not the entirety of Magick Liber ABA Book 4.

27. Minecraft Jokes for Kids - Steve Minecraft. Not a real book but we'll substitute Jokes For Minecrafters by the Hollow family.

28. The Jews and Their Lies - Martin Luther. One of the most notorious antisemitic texts, right up there with the Protocols. It's going to be a pretty apalling read but it has pretty damn significant historical value so it's probably worth reading.

29. Dianetics - L. Ron Hubbard. The scientology book. It's way longer than you'd expect.

30. Everyone Poops - Taro Gomi. I don't understand this because girls don't poop.

31. In His Own Write - John Lennon. His writing and art, mostly just a bunch of absurd bullshit. I want to remain neutral and not just hate the book because I hate the guy. We'll see if it deserves that.

32. Bear - Marian Engel. This is that Canadian novel where the woman has a romance with a bear.

33. How To Get A Girlfriend - Chad Scott Nellis. Some bullshit self published thing. I'm gonna be swimming in punani.

34. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck - Mark Manson. Some self help schlock afaik.

35. Gabriel Dropout (vol. 3) - UKAMI. This is that cutesy manga about those angels and demons in human high school.

36. 120 Days of Sodom - Marquis De Sade. Old story of elite sex cults, I'm pretty sure it's the origin of that being like a thing that people conspiracy theory about.

37. Phenomenology of Spirit - Hegel. You probably know Hegel from either Marx or Fallout New Vegas. I know Hegel because a chick at my friend's co-op talked at me about him for like ten minutes while I was way too shit faced to know what the fuck is going on around me at all but I nodded along.

38. Star Wars: The Ultimate Sticker Collection. I bought this used for a buck fifty with half the stickers gone. All the new trilogy ones were still there.

39. The Anarchist Cookbook. Vom hard at the idea of "buying" this but I want to make sure I get the version as it appears in the meme so I guess I'll drop a few bucks on it.

40. An American Life - Ronald Reagan. Practical applications for previous book.

41. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger. Had to read this in high school, hated it, maybe it'll be better this time around.

42. Finnegan's Wake - James Joyce. An early postmodernist work about uhhh fucking whatever it was about. I'm not gonna lie if Ulysses is this hard for me this one will kill me.

43. The Charles Mingus CAT-alog for Toilet Training Your Cat. I'm not in the know when it comes to music but apparently this guy is like one of the gods of jazz. And he wrote a book on teaching your cat to shit in a people-toilet.

44. Am I Disabled? - The Simpsons S7E7. This is the book Homer reads where he learns obesity is a disability and gets really fat so he can work from home. Story of my life.

45. Serial Experiments Lain: An Omnipresence in Wired - Yoshitoshi ABe. The Lain artbook, with the short manga The Nightmare of Fabrication. Will be very expensive to get ahold of.

46. Pounded by the Pound - Chuck Tingle. We've heard enough about this guy the bit was holding onto the last molecule of funny it had like five years ago but I now had to buy a compilation paperback of his work for this.

47. Ford Capri II 2.8 & 3.0 Owners Workshop Manual 1974-1987. Had to order this from the UK couldn't find any in the US.

48. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov. We all know what this is. Of all things when my mom saw this list this was the book she pointed out as being really good, which I thought was funny.

49. Man's Life Magazine, September 1956 issue. "Weasels Ripped My Flesh." Good god it will be difficult finding the actual magazine, but the weasels story itself has been reprinted.

50. Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs (2nd Edition) - Harold Abelson et al. I like when people make anime girls have it :)

51. Shiver - Junji Ito. Never been a major Ito fan but a couple of his works I really liked are in this compilation.

52. Neon Genesis Evangelion (vol. 2) - Yoshiyuki Sadamoto. The Eva manga was really good I've actually read it before.

53. How To Avoid Huge Ships - Captain John W. Trimmer. Classic meme because I guess the cover and premise is very funny but I don't really get the joke. It's not that ridiculous sounding of a book, it's just niche.

54. Spice and Wolf (vol. 1) - Isuna Hasekura. Light novel for that manga we've been seeing around. They put a generic cover on it and replaced the anime girl so it could sell to non-weebs.

55. Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand. My sister read this in like middle school and unironically no joke started bawling crying sobbing because poor people are so evil and awful.

56. The Very Hungry Caterpillar - Eric Carle. Oh Boy I Sure Hope This Little Wiggly Guy Eats Something Normal! Oh no.. oh dear ...

57. Glow In The Dark - Kanye West. Very very hard to get a physical copy but we'll try. Photo book of his tour of the same name.

58. Mein Kampf - Adolf Hitler. Now obviously this wasn't included on the list for the genuine important historical value this book has but that's what I'm going to be reading it for. In reading it critically afaik it really paints a picture of how pathetic and unwell he was.

59. Higurashi: When They Cry. I hear it's really good.

60. This is a naked photo of Daniel Radcliffe posed with a horse.

61. Aberration in the Heartland of the Real - Wendy S. Painting. This is a book on the life of the OKBOMB guy, Timothy McVeigh. I hate how true crime shit has become so polarized as either sensational dogshit to make women walk with their keys between their knuckles or some awful horrible thing that's not worth looking into because "they were just racist/misogynistic/etc" I think it's all very reductive so this promises to be a good read.

62. KUBARK Counterintelligence Interrogation. CIA document on breaking a prisoner and interrogating from the 60s.

63. The Game - Neil Strauss. The Bible for pickup artists.

64. Identifying Wood - R. Bruce Hoadley. Yep, it's wood.

65. Fresh And Fabulous Meals in Minutes - Ainsley Harriot. Lots of memes about him but this is just a regular cookbook.

66. The Turner Diaries - Andrew Macdonald. Far-right racist book that inspired terrorism and hate crimes. People who read it and didn't already agree with it going in have said it's poorly written and just blows, and in the peek I took that seems to be true. It's too influential to not read if I'm going to be reading about Timothy McVeigh. Hard to get since it got pulled from most online stores following Jan 6th.

67. The C Programming Language (2nd Edition) - Brian W. Kernighan & Dennis M. Ritchie. Gonna learn to code I guess.

68. A Little Life - Hanya Yanagihara. It's a story about a group of mentally ill gay men living in New York. Has been described as trauma porn written by a woman fetishizing gay men and is on there because channers like making fun of it, but it was also shortlisted for a Pulitzer.

69. The Rose of Paracelsus - William Leonard Pickard. The author was the victim of one of the largest acid busts and he wrote this in prison.

70. The Book of Mormon - Joseph Smith. Interested to learn what the fuck Mormons are actually all about.

71. Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone - J.K. Rowling. Like most people I read these in middle school. They were mid then and they're ass now but I'm not gonna tryhard about how bad they are because you've probably heard enough at this point.

72. A Critique of Pure Reason - Immanuel Kant. As someone who doesn't know shit about philosophy I'm excited.

73. Autobiography - Morrissey. Notorious for being published through Penguin Classics which is NOT for Morrisseys. Bad Morrissey. Go to your room.

74. Official Final Fantasy 7 Strategy Guide. I'm gonna get so good at FF7 dude.

75. My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness - Kabi Nagata. Think of the most annoying bpd she/they you know and then imagine a really mid book that she'd become way too annoying about. You've imagined this book.

76. Children of the Matrix - David Icke. The origin of the reptoids conspiracy theory.

77. Anti-Oedipus - Deleuze and Guattari. Mario and Luigi for your leftist roommate who won't do the dishes

78. Infinite Jest - David Foster Wallace. It's a book about a person place or thing I know that much.

79. Sonichu #0 - Gonna be near impossible to source a physical copy from its short Lulu run.

80. Uncle Tom's Cabin - Harriet Beecher Stowe. Obviously of great historical importance but I get a sneaking suspicion that's not why they put it on the list.

81. Bronze Age Mindset - Bronze Age Pervert. This is... Well, it's sure something.

82. Drilled By My Two Cowboys - Aurora Sommers. BBW Cowboy porn 😋💦

83. The Brothers Karamazov - Fyodor Dostoevsky. People say it's his best work and if it's anywhere near as good as C&P was it'll blow me away. Also the Godfather was inspired by it.

84. Spare - Prince Harry. Really unfunny inclusion I can't imagine there's much value in it.

85. Da Jesus Book. That's the Hawaiian Pidgin translation of the New Testament. So basically I'm just reading the bible with extra steps.

86. Elon Musk - Ashlee Vance. Biography on Elon Musk apparently, not especially interested cause good chance it'll just suck him off hard.

87. Where's Waldo (Deluxe) - Martin Handford. Oh god I hope I find him.

88. Dracula - Bram Stoker. Shoulda subbed to Dracula Daily......

89. Bart Simpson's Guide to Life. I'm excited to see what Bart has to say about what I need to do with myself.

90. Bakemonogatari (vol. 1) - Nisio Isin. I've heard of this in passing I don't really know anything about this light novel except there's like girls and they're monsters maybe?

91. Business Secrets of the Pharoahs - Mark Crorigan. Fake book from S8E2 of the show Peep Show, which I've never heard of. It's British.

92. Industrial Society and Its Future - Ted Kaczynski. All I really know about Ted's ideas in the end is that everyone on here says he's based. I definitely want to read him and formulate my own opinion but I will probably also end up agreeing that he's based.

93. My Twisted World - Elliot Rodger. This is the manifesto of that incel shooter, probably a pretty worthwhile read in the same way a lot of this stuff is, a look into a deeply troubled person's mind.

94. Wash Your Penis - Jordan B. Peterson. This doesn't exist so we'll just read 12 Rules for Life.

95. Andrew Tate's Exegesis of the Quran. Unfortunately he did not actually write one though I bet it would be soooo terrible and funny. But we will read the Quran.

96. Art of the Deal - Donald Trump. Time to find out why people respected this guy.

[lgcjino]

MOON JINO ( 문지노 ) ╎ TWENTY Y/O, KOREAN KIWI. YOUNGER BRO OF @lgcjiah.

TL;DR signed around the same time as jiah (jul. 2022), doesn't really know what he's doing, having fun anyways.

howdy all! sorry it took me forever to post an intro, it's literally been years since i've been on tumblr and it's insane how much has changed so i had to ... re-learn everything and that was a trip. anyways, i'm a newbie here at lgc so please be easy on me! i still have much to read but i'm always open to anything / brainstorming. down below are some not-so-short ipso-factos about moon jino. i'm so excited to get started, i'll be answering messages now but (if this isn't totally old school) please like this post for a plot?

TIDBITS

born 2003. 02. 13. in raglan, new zealand -> the younger brother of moon jiah

tall boy, standing at 189 cm

outgoing, loyal, idiotically optimistic which makes him an easy target for his naivity and for pretty much being a doormat

probably overly friendly, he's never really had a problem making friends, keeping them may be the problem bc he can come off as annoying -> chronically the friend always hitting you up to do something even if you just saw them yesterday/or hours ago

followed his sister to korea bc he was worried about her -> ended up auditioning with her for lgc bc if she's gonna get scammed again, at least both of them will be together to pick up the pieces!

a siscon in the most innocent way possible -> aka an overprotective younger brother who follows his sister around like a little puppy (think clifford the red dog) but actually is just being an annoying little brother

has no real dreams or aspirations, kind of went into this thing willing for some calling to call to him – has yet to have it but he’s enjoying his time here

has always been someone who enjoyed doing things with no questions asked; not really someone who’d enjoy doing nothing (likes to fill his time with things like gaming, hanging out with people, etc.)

he may seem like someone who’d enjoy being center of attention, but he leaves that to his sister, he doesn’t mind just being there and basking in their glory (aka he lit rode his sister’s coattails all the way to seoul lbr)

a health fanatic, he snacks sometimes. dislikes soda because he doesn’t like the way the fizz feels in his throat; works out quite frequently, several days a week with a notable routine, goes on hikes when he can

likes to take pictures can’t say he’s good at them, but he tries his hardest

very rare but when he is feeling shy, usually he covers his mouth with his hand, as if trying to hide his smile/blush

fairly independent and adventurous, given his parent’s lax childrearing, he got his license at 16 and always has an up to date passport ready

chronic texter, and texts right away, too; hardly takes calls unless he really needs to

thinks he can be a comedian if this doesn't work out

learned how to play the guitar at 10, side by side with the piano but was more into the guitar -> transitioned to electric guitar by 12

PLOT HOLES

we !!! want !!! friends !!!

ik im a bit late but plotting for trainee mission 014?

im tired and as you can see from the lack of grammar now that i have lost steam, i promise ill be better in the morning!

[ruleofrosethorns]

notes for kuwtm!! (since some of yall seem to really enjoy this au)

the main au takes place a few months after SH3

james is here because harry kinda just felt like visiting sh after a couple of years and lo n behold

CAR IN TOLUCA LAKE FEAT. DEPRESSED WET CAT!!

he saved wittle old james and the rest is history

Harry DID NOT DIE because his protective bf (james) saved his sleepy ass

they decided to go on a road trip to Silent Hill and fuck around for a bit

(i might start writing a separate thing for that hehe)

anyway at some point harry got separated from the gang(tm) and went to alchemilla hospital

AND HOLY SHIT LISA IS HERE SHE IS VIBING

(oh and Maria was out and about terrorizing James like old times <3)

pretty much there's just a group of monsters who are kinda just hanging out and smoking weed

they're cool w/ the gang and through undisclosed plot developments i'm still tryna work out in my brain-

the weed-smoking sh group survives the purge of Harold Mason and move into the human world

not directly next to but in the same area as the Masons (much to their concern (except for Heather))

and thus, the mlm wlw rivalry begins /j

Heather enjoys hanging out w/ them but Harry and James are UNDERSTANDABLY conflicted

like idk bro letting our adopted daughter hang out with the manifestations of my guilt seems kinda wack...

but regardless they all love Lisa because she has never done anything wrong ever

Harry's alright(???) w/ Maria and PH?? James is mostly just annoyed by Maria and PANICKED BY PH

Harry and Lisa are honorary siblings <3 they didn't really get to know each other during SH but that all changed when Lisa moved in

Maria and Lisa are in love and sort of formed a found family with the monsters. co-workers of the otherworld ig

the monsters sort of look up to Maria and Lisa as mother figures, PH being the weird uncle that they all love bc he supplies them weed

James & Harry tend to COINCIDENCELY run into Maria & Lisa whenever they go on a date its an ongoing issue

Most of the monsters can't really go outside?? (y'know because grotesque eldritch horrors aren't "allowed" in public SMH)

So Maria, Lisa & Heather usually go on shopping sprees to get their demonic buddies things that they want

Unfortunately Lisa sometimes starts leaking blood so that's sometimes an issue

(she has to inhale & hold her breath to keep it at bay for long periods of time)

She is like a balloon

ALSO Harry is still an author!! He's moved away from murder mystery's and works on supernatural horror & non-fiction novels about certain cults...

NOT BECAUSE OF SH OR ANYTHING HAHA

James doesn't really have a job.

he just sort of fucks around and gets a new part time job every time the last one realizes he has been legally declared missing for 12-13 years

Heather's still in school (doing her last year), had to repeat once because of SH3 kinda resulting in her family needing a REAL vacation

Maria and Lisa don't have jobs. No one knows how they managed to rent a house. James thinks they probably killed the landlord.

Like seriously, where does their money keep coming from.

Heather asked one day and Lisa spoiled the mystery by admitting they sell random demonic items they find in the Otherworld.

SPEAKING OF HEATHER. she is a girl liker. i don't make the rules (i do)

Harry is also teaching her piano (yknow for puzzle related purposes), James "trys" to help her maths homework to various degrees of success.

James does most of the cooking, but can and will resort to eating dirt if needed.

(He doesn't cook because he's good at it or enjoys it tho. it's not like he is better than Harry at cooking-he just REALLY wants to help out around the house)

Oh also James &  Harry got married a few years before the events of SH3. It was a tough decision for them at first but Heather helped them work things out

(She also hijacked the music at the reception and played My Chemical Romance)

Maria n Lisa had thought about marriage but they're sort of stuck with each other for eternity sooOo

LEMME TALK ABOUT HARRIA REAL QUICK (yes harv i have coined that name it is TOO GOOD)

So Maria is directly, y'know, connected to James' subconscious, so she can go back and forth between the forms

Again, James fell in luv w/ Harry and SH panicked and said "FUCK MARIA CHANGE UR PFP"

At first she didn't have much control over it?? So like a year after SH2, Maria's just chilling w/ Lisa and then POOF

HARRIA. And Lisa's like "AYO :O I KNOW THAT GUY?!" So they found out about the boyfriends PRETTY early on

It took a few months, but she managed to figure out how to shapeshift at will. Turns out shes genderfluid!

But after SH3 she doesn't use it that much (yknow considering harry is RIGHT THERE) but she will shapeshift just to fuck w/ people

James is ashamed to admit he actually fell for it once (he was SLEEPY and half-awake, okay?!)

Harry was a lil bit freaked out at first but now he just thinks it's kinda cool

Heather just thinks it funny that this eldritch demonic horror from another world is basically just a yassified vers of her dad and James' ex-wife

>:3

[cannedkopi]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

So, this has popped up in my feed several times within the last few days, so I thought, why not give it a go and expose my fic writing persona. So....

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

7. All posted as Sequanea

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

103.282, which I know for some writers is like one story, but for me is quite a lot.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently only Bridgerton. I used to write for other fandoms waaaaay back in the day, specifically Buffy and Harry Potter. But looking at when the former wrapped up, you can see that I do mean way back when I say way back.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

When the world ends (675)

Lift me up (667)

Heaven is here if you want it (558)

Don't fight it (if you don't know what it is) (283)

Year of Hell (194)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I usually do not, because I feel extremely embarrassed about what to say without sounding stupid and not being able to show my appreciation properly. Which I know is doing exactly the opposite, and I really, really want to change that, but unfortunately old habits die hard.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

All of my fics have a HEA, but I think the angstiest thing I have written so far is “Year of Hell” since the angst goes all the way until the last few paragraphs.  

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

As above, everything I write is HEA in the end.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully no. There were some weird comments that did not make much sense in the context of what I have written, but no hate.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Ehm... I try? I still feel quite embarrassed writing smut, but I am doing my best to push myself to get out of my comfort zone and include more M or E rated content in the future. I'm a very vanilla kind of girl though, so don't expect anything other than that.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not anymore, but the very first fic I have ever written was a Harry Potter/Discworld crossover (which was pure comedy) and there is an abandoned Harry Potter/Buffy story probably still buried somewhere on fanfiction.net that I never finished. You get the picture. .

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I did write a few fics in German. Needles to say, all have been abandoned.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I have to say Bridgeton’s Kathony (Kanthony?), but there was a time when my heart belonged to How I met your Mother’s Barney and Robin. I shipped these two even before they became canon and still remember the discussion if they should be called Robarn or BRo (It's BRo btw. Robarn just sounds so wrong).

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I really would like to finish that Buffy/HP crossover, but a) I am so way out of these fandoms by now that don’t think I could come up with a proper plot (and I forgot most of my initial outline) and b) I  have lost my password to all of my old fanfiction accounts as well as access to any email addresses that I used for them.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I can write an entire story without any dialogue. Does that count?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Finding the right words after dialogue in order to not repeatedly write he said/she said or a variation thereof. Not repeating myself, including not using the same words multiple times in a sentence or paragraph, is in general something I struggle with.

Courtesy of my lawyer brain, I also get stuck on details a lot and over think things far too much. It’s hard for me to sometimes just say “screw it” and not go down the rabbit hole of research because I want to get each and every fact right.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Only if it serves a purpose, and at least in my stories it never would. I exclude terms of endearment from that though. In my opinion these do not count as full dialogue.   

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter (and Discworld, since my very first fic was a crossover).

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Surprisingly Year of Hell. Which has a very similar structure to another one shot I am very proud of that I wrote for HIMYM like 15 years ago and found earlier this year on one of my old hard drives. I think it is still somewhere on fanfiction.net, but I really don’t remember under which nick I posted it, especially since I don’t even remember what nicks I used to go by back then to be honest

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Since I am still new to tumblr and don’t really know anyone around here, I tag whoever stumbles upon this and decides to give these 20 questions a go. Cheers!

[chenria]

I posted 262 times in 2022

That's 12 more posts than 2021!

183 posts created (70%)

79 posts reblogged (30%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@chenria

@mimikoflamemaker

@sofia-d-asb

@tippystreasurebox

@miasmat

I tagged 205 of my posts in 2022

Only 22% of my posts had no tags

#original character - 24 posts

#litg carl - 22 posts

#litg s2 - 21 posts

#litg season 2 - 20 posts

#litg mc - 18 posts

#thunderbirds are go - 17 posts

#litg carl x mc - 13 posts

#litg fanfic - 13 posts

#shameless self promotion - 11 posts

#digital art - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 81 characters

#i am really looking forward to play more with my new character of princess elodie

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Okay... I threw m plans for a Mermay picture out of the window. I've been binging "My Time at Portia" for days now. This is just such a relaxing and unagitated game that brings me so much joy with building and fulfilling the commissions for the townspeople.

My builder Cassidy nearly instantly fell in love with the head of Civil Corps (the "police" of the town) and Arlo is just so cute.

So I had to feed my current hyperfixiation with a quick fanart of Cassidy with her husband Arlo (yes, she managed to marry him on the last day of the first year :3)

107 notes - Posted May 29, 2022

#4

Patreon reward for the lovely sissy_the_siren - she requested a picture of her adorable Hawke and I hope I did her justice.

110 notes - Posted February 9, 2022

#3

Okay... so... this was supposed to be my "personal art" piece for March. But migraine... I at least managed to finish it and I am mostly satisfied with the outcome. Since it's not a commission I am not going to fret too much over the parts that didn't turn out quite like I wanted them.

But at least I got myself a Lynn/Bruno fanart while I am still enjoying Season 4 of "Love Island the Game".

This game is truly a guilty pleasure and I am probably 20 years older than the target audience XD but it's silly and fun and I need that in my life right now XD Lynn is the main character in this season and I am playing her in the game.

And I know about the controversies around season 4. But I decided that I can't shut out everything in my life that I enjoy because capitalism is a thing... I have fun - you just don't have to take this season too seriously XD

Lynn and Bruno would never work outside the Villa... but that's a problem for another day XD

[My Patrons get the high res version as well as sketches and progress pictures leading up to this piece.]

Patreon || Twitter

112 notes - Posted April 2, 2022

#2

Of course... right before I need to get back to work I find my inspiration and the motivation to draw again ;) At least that's a good sign that I am really over Covid (now I only need to get rid of that annoying cough...) But at least I could seize the remaining time and managed to finish something small for myself. A picture of Virgil Tracy - yes, it's that time again that I need Thunderbirds escapism and a self-indulging picture of Virg... 

Btw... Virigl has horrible hair and I hate to draw it...

The background is a photo of the sky ... I was too lazy to come up with an actual background...

115 notes - Posted May 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

It’s the 16th... so we can post this, right? I’ve been waiting since May to finally be allowed to share this XD  My contribution to this years TAG Mini Bang ( @tagminibang2022 / @tagminibang ) I got assigned to illustrate one of @womble1′s great fanfics and there was so much to chose from and many brilliant fics! ♥ But that one scene totally brought an instant image to my mind, so I had to illustrate it after I read the little story called “Rest”.

In the sunken seating area, Scott was stretched out across a sofa, head propped up on a cushion, a book in one hand, legs crossed at the ankles.

“That's right little bro,” he [note: Gordon] crouched lower, draping an arm over Alan's shoulder and lowered his voice in his best nature programme voice over impression. “Here we see a very rare sight, for a while it has been thought to be extinct by several scientific communities, it’s a resting Scott Tracy”

Story: “Rest” by @womble1 

121 notes - Posted July 16, 2022

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