#bro has a few screws loose

[creatively-cosmic]

Meeting the Missing One.

[girlrotterr]

✧ ⁺˳ She might not look like she gets bitches.

꒰ streamer!ellie headcannons ꒱ a/n: I know this is a little short but wanted to write something silly!

✧⁺ — Streamer!Ellie whose bad posture is only made worse by the massive gaming headset permanently denting her hair. By the end of each stream, there’s a wild, flattened patch on her head. Chat’s constantly telling her to take a break, but she just grins, shaking her head with a stubborn “This is the look, trust.” ignoring the fact that her neck is basically molded to fit the headset

✧⁺ — Streamer!Ellie whose mic is almost as old as her setup, hanging off a stand with a few screws loose. It crackles with static if she yells too loudly, but she refuses to upgrade.

✧⁺ — Streamer!Ellie whose webcam glitches, freezing her mid-sentence in the least flattering positions, like mid-eye roll or tongue out. She’ll smack the side of her screen, muttering. “Oh, fucking come on!” 

✧⁺ — Streamer!Ellie whose desk is a mess of clutter: tangled cords, stray stickers, and half-finished doodles scattered across the surface. Chat is obsessed with trying to guess what all the random junk is, especially when something odd slips into frame—like an old action figure with a missing arm or an unopened can of Spam.

✧⁺ — Streamer!Ellie who leans back in her chair, stretching out her arms with a carefree sigh, her hair falling messily over her face. When suddenly, the camera catches a glimpse of her strap-on, casually hanging out in the corner of the screen. 

"IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?!?!

"DAWG NO WAYYY"

"NO WAY BRO GETS ANY TYPE OF PLAY!!"

✧⁺ — Streamer!Ellie whose chat’s favorite pastime is mocking her everytime she gets cocky. She’ll brag like, “Watch this fucking clutch.” only to immediately fumble, staring straight into her webcam, deadpaned. The chat spamming with messages like: 

"JUST UNINSTALL BRO"

"HOW TF IS SHE THIS BAD?!?!"

✧⁺ — Streamer!Ellie whose quick to pick up on any kid’s attitude in the game. The second she hears a high-pitched “You’re trash!” she instantly counters, “YOUR DADS STROKE GAME IS TRASH!” She’ll sit there grinning, hyping herself up as the kids try to come back with more insults. Chat’s losing it, spamming, "BRO HE'S 12?!?!"

✧⁺ — Streamer!Ellie whenever in the heat of a game, her brows furrow, her jaw sets, and the chat braces for impact. When she misses a shot, her frustrated yell reverberates, echoing through thin walls that neighbors are definitely complaining about. “I’m never playing this shit again!” Spolier: She always plays it again.

✧⁺ — Streamer!Ellie whenever she’s roped into playing with Abby, her chat lights up with anticipation. Abby always manages to take her down, which only amps up her muttered curses and exaggerated sighs. “I WAS FUCKING LAGGING” she yells, while her chat’s ablaze with "IM CRYINGGGFF" and "ELLIES ACUTAL FUCKING CHEEKS BRO" Abby barely has to try; one word and Ellie’s thrown off, dropping all her ammo in the wrong place.

✧⁺ — Streamer!Ellie when you show up in her game lobby, she clears her throat, trying to play it smooth. She lowers her voice a full octave, attempting some kind of “cool” introduction. But the chat? They’re absolutely losing it.

"DID ELLIE JUST TURN INTO A FUCKING MAN?!"

"I CANNOTTFF!!"

"PLEASE ELLIE UR EMBARRASSING"

✧⁺ — Streamer!Ellie always tries to play it smooth by making some bold promise, like, “Stick with me, and we’ll clutch this.” But then she immediately gets taken out. Chat explodes, throwing in every possible roast, like, "BRO ELLIE PACK IT THE FUCK UP" and "THE HOES ARE RUNNING"

✧⁺ — Streamer!Ellie who, by the end of the stream, knows you’re still there in chat. So a quick, stumbling sentence slips out, “Uh, if you...you know, ever wanna game or whatever, just hit me up.”

✧⁺ — Streamer!Ellie when you send over your Instagram, she freezes, her in-game character getting KO’d. But she’s too hyped to care. She jumps out of her chair, nearly flipping it backward, screaming into her mic, “BRO, BRO, BRO, NO WAY—LETS GOOOO!!” She starts pacing, muttering, “CHAT, ARE WE SEEING THIS!?.”

The Chat’s blowing up like: 

"WWWWW!!!!"

"OKAY ELLIE WE SEEE YOUUU!!"

"THERE'S ABSOLUETLY NO WAYYY"

"BROOO!??!?!"

and she’s just laughing, all out of breath. 

✧⁺ — Streamer!Ellie who’s bouncing in her seat, half-yelling at her monitor, “FUCKK ” She’s pointing at your handle in her chat, looking dazed, like she’s still trying to process it. Her hands are shaking, and she’s practically yelling over her poor-quality mic, “I FUCKING DID THAT CHAT!”  Chat’s spamming, "PLEASEEE SHE'S DOING CHAIRTY WORK ELLIE" and "NAHH THATS DEFINITELY AI"

✧⁺ — Streamer!Ellie who’s too hyped to even hear the first few bangs on her door. But then, it’s like her soul leaves her body. “dude, what was that?” She leans closer to the mic, whispering like her neighbors can’t still hear her, “um… chat…?” Chat’s flooding with "NUHHH UHHH" and "AWWWW SHITTT" and she’s just grinning, trying to stifle a laugh. “Alright, hold on, lemme go check”

✧⁺ — Streamer!Ellie where a moment later, she comes back into frame holding a piece of paper up to the webcam: an eviction notice. She stares at the camera, lips pressed into a thin line as chat explodes, crying.

"NO WAYYYYY!!!!?!??!?!"

"SENDING YOU JOB APPLICATIONS"

"IM FUCKING CRYINGFFFF"

"UR GONNA HAVE TO SELL THAT STRAP"

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Nurses whose shitty boss is a shitty app

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/12/17/loose-flapping-ends/#luigi-has-a-point

Operating a business is risky: you can't ever be sure how many customers you'll have, or what they'll show up looking for. If you guess wrong, you'll either have too few workers to serve the crowd, or you'll pay workers to stand around and wait for customers. This is true even when your "business" is a "hospital."

Capitalists hate capitalism. Capitalism is defined by risk – like the risk of competitors poaching your customers and workers. Capitalists all secretly dream of a "command economy" in which other people have to arrange their affairs to suit the capitalists' preferences, taking the risk off their shoulders. Capitalists love anti-competitive exclusivity deals with suppliers, and they really love noncompete "agreements" that ban their workers from taking better jobs:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/21/bondage-fees/#doorman-building

One of the sleaziest, most common ways for capitalists to shed risk is by shifting it onto their workers' shoulders, for example, by sending workers home on slow days and refusing to pay them for the rest of their shifts. This is easy for capitalists to do because workers have a collective action problem: for workers to force their bosses not to do this, they all have to agree to go on strike, and other workers have to honor their picket-lines. That's a lot of chivvying and bargaining and group-forming, and it's very hard. Meanwhile, the only person the boss needs to convince to screw you this way is themself.

Libertarians will insist that this is impossible, of course, because workers will just quit and go work for someone else when this happens, and so bosses will be disciplined by the competition to find workers willing to put up with their bullshit. Of course, these same libertarians will tell you that it should be legal for your boss to require you to sign a noncompete "agreement" so you can't quit and get a job elsewhere in your field. They'll also tell you that we don't need antitrust enforcement to prevent your boss from buying up all the businesses you might work for if you do manage to quit.

In practice, the only way workers have successfully resisted being burdened with their bosses' risks is by a) forming a union, and then b) using the union to lobby for strong labor laws. Labor laws aren't a substitute for a union, but they are an important backstop, and of course, if you're not unionized, labor law is all you've got.

Enter the tech-bro, app in hand. The tech-bro's most absurd (and successful) ruse is "it's not a crime, I did it with an app." As in "it's not money-laundering, I did it with an app." Or "it's not a privacy violation, I did it with an app." Or "it's not securities fraud, I did it with an app." Or "it's not price-gouging, I did it with an app," or, importantly, "it's not a labor-law violation, I did it with an app."

The point of the "gig economy" is to use the "did it with an app" trick to avoid labor laws, so that bosses can shift risks onto workers, because capitalists hate capitalism. These apps were first used to immiserate taxi-drivers, and this was so successful that it spawned a whole universe of "Uber for __________" apps that took away labor rights from other kinds of workers, from dog-groomers to carpenters.

One group of workers whose rights are being devoured by gig-work apps is nurses, which is bad news, because without nurses, I would be dead by now.

A new report from the Roosevelt Institute goes deep on the way that nurses' lives are being destroyed by gig work apps that let bosses in America's wildly dysfunctional for-profit health care industry shift risk from bosses to the hardest-working group of health care professionals:

https://rooseveltinstitute.org/publications/uber-for-nursing/

The report's authors interviewed nurses who were employed through three apps: Shiftkey, Shiftmed and Carerev, and reveal a host of risk-shifting, worker-abusing practices that has nurses working for so little that they can't afford medical insurance themselves.

Take Shiftkey: nurses are required to log into Shiftkey and indicate which shifts they are available for, and if they are assigned any of those shifts later but can't take them, their app-based score declines and they risk not being offered shifts in the future. But Shiftkey doesn't guarantee that you'll get work on any of those shifts – in other words, nurses have to pledge not to take any work during the times when Shiftkey might need them, but they only get paid for those hours where Shiftkey calls them out. Nurses assume all the risk that there won't be enough demand for their services.

Each Shiftkey nurse is offered a different pay-scale for each shift. Apps use commercially available financial data – purchased on the cheap from the chaotic, unregulated data broker sector – to predict how desperate each nurse is. The less money you have in your bank accounts and the more you owe on your credit cards, the lower the wage the app will offer you. This is a classic example of what the legal scholar Veena Dubal calls "algorithmic wage discrimination" – a form of wage theft that's supposedly legal because it's done with an app:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/12/algorithmic-wage-discrimination/#fishers-of-men

Shiftkey workers also have to bid against one another for shifts, with the job going to the worker who accepts the lowest wage. Shiftkey pays nominal wages that sound reasonable – one nurse's topline rate is $23/hour. But by payday, Shiftkey has used junk fees to scrape that rate down to the bone. Workers have to pay a daily $3.67 "safety fee" to pay for background checks, drug screening, etc. Nevermind that these tasks are only performed once per nurse, not every day – and nevermind that this is another way to force workers to assume the boss's risks. Nurses also pay daily fees for accident insurance ($2.14) and malpractice insurance ($0.21) – more employer risk being shifted onto workers. Workers also pay $2 per shift if they want to get paid on the same day – a payday lending-style usury levied against workers whose wages are priced based on their desperation. Then there's a $6/shift fee nurses pay as a finders' fee to the app, a fee that's up to $7/shift next year. All told, that $23/hour rate cashes out to $13/hour.

On top of that, gig nurses have to pay for their own uniforms, licenses, equipment and equipment, including different colored scrubs and even shoes for each hospital. And because these nurses are "their own bosses" they have to deduct their own payroll taxes from that final figure. As "self-employed" workers, they aren't entitled to overtime or worker's comp, they get no retirement plan, health insurance, sick days or vacation.

The apps sell themselves to bosses as a way to get vetted, qualified nurses, but the entire vetting process is automated. Nurses upload a laundry list of documents related to their qualifications and undergo a background check, but are never interviewed by a human. They are assessed through automated means – for example, they have to run a location-tracking app en route to callouts and their reliability scores decline if they lose mobile data service while stuck in traffic.

Shiftmed docks nurses who cancel shifts after agreeing to take them, but bosses who cancel on nurses, even at the last minute, get away at most a small penalty (having to pay for the first two hours of a canceled shift), or, more often, nothing at all. For example, bosses who book nurses through the Carerev app can cancel without penalty on a mere two hours' notice. One nurse quoted in the study describes getting up at 5AM for a 7AM shift, only to discover that the shift was canceled while she slept, leaving her without any work or pay for the day, after having made arrangements for her kid to get childcare. The nurse assumes all the risk again: blocking out a day's work, paying for childcare, altering her sleep schedule. If she cancels on Carerev, her score goes down and she will get fewer shifts in the future. But if the boss cancels, he faces no consequences.

Carerev also lets bosses send nurses home early without paying them for the whole day – and they don't pay overtime if a nurse stays after her shift ends in order to ensure that their patients are cared for. The librarian scholar Fobazi Ettarh coined the term "vocational awe" to describe how workers in caring professions will endure abusive conditions and put in unpaid overtime because of their commitment to the patrons, patients, and pupils who depend on them:

https://www.inthelibrarywiththeleadpipe.org/2018/vocational-awe/

Many of the nurses in the study report having shifts canceled on them as they pull into the hospital parking lot. Needless to say, when your shift is canceled just as it was supposed to start, it's unlikely you'll be able to book a shift at another facility.

The American healthcare industry is dominated by monopolies. First came the pharma monopolies, when pharma companies merged and merged and merged, allowing them to screw hospitals with sky-high prices. Then the hospitals gobbled each other up, merging until most regions were dominated by one or two hospital chains, who could use buyer power to get a better deal on pharma prices – but also use seller power to screw the insurers with outrageous prices for care. So the insurers merged, too, until they could fight hospital price-gouging.

Everywhere you turn in the healthcare industry, you find another monopolist: pharmacists and pharmacy benefit managers, group purchasing organizations, medical beds, saline and supplies. Monopoly begets monopoly.

(Unitedhealthcare is extraordinary in that its divisions are among the most powerful players in all of these sectors, making it a monopolist among monopolists – for example, UHC is the nation's largest employer of physicians:)

https://www.thebignewsletter.com/p/its-time-to-break-up-big-medicine

But there two key stakeholders in American health-care who can't monopolize: patients and health-care workers. We are the disorganized, loose, flapping ends at the beginning and end of the healthcare supply-chain. We are easy pickings for the monopolists in the middle, which is why patients pay more for worse care every year, and why healthcare workers get paid less for worse working conditions every year.

This is the one area where the Biden administration indisputably took action, bringing cases, making rules, and freaking out investment bankers and billionaires by repeatedly announcing that crimes were still crimes, even if you used an app to commit them.

The kind of treatment these apps mete out to nurses is illegal, app or no. In an important speech just last month, FTC commissioner Alvaro Bedoya explained how the FTC Act empowered the agency to shut down this kind of bossware because it is an "unfair and deceptive" form of competition:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/26/hawtch-hawtch/#you-treasure-what-you-measure

This is the kind of thing the FTC could be doing. Will Trump's FTC actually do it? The Trump campaign called the FTC "politicized" – but Trump's pick for the next FTC chair has vowed to politicize it even more:

https://theintercept.com/2024/12/18/trump-ftc-andrew-ferguson-ticket-fees/

Like Biden's FTC, Trump's FTC will have a target-rich environment if it wants to bring enforcement actions on behalf of workers. But Biden's trustbusters chose their targets by giving priority to the crooked companies that were doing the most harm to Americans, while Trump's trustbusters are more likely to give priority to the crooked companies that Trump personally dislikes:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/12/the-enemy-of-your-enemy/#is-your-enemy

So if one of these nursing apps pisses off Trump or one of his cronies, then yeah, maybe those nurses will get justice.

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[k-hotchoisan]

from the back

<Wooyoung x fem!reader>

part two of 🔥to the side🔥

where Wooyoung finally gets to fuck you so good

Taglist: @bro-atz @diamond-3 @mcarebearsstuff @choisansplushie @pre1ttyies @hwallazia @songmingisthighs

Genre/Warnings: pervDILF!Wooyoung, smut, sexual tension, backshots, dirty talk, cream pies, orgasms, alcohol consumption, Wooyoung drinks but he keeps it within the limit because he’s driving y/n home (please do not drink and drive)

Needless to say, you were holding up pretty well, despite the countless times you squeezed your thighs when Wooyoung’s hands slid too close to your cunt. It was still driving you crazy from how full you felt. Your plate was half cleared, because half of the time the feeling of how full your cunt is with Wooyoung’s cum made you want to just spread your legs and let his cum leak all over out of your pussy and onto your thighs and chair. Maybe you’d beg Wooyoung for forgiveness for letting his cum spill out of your poor pussy, and let Wooyoung breed you so full, over and over again until he was satisfied.

Fuck. It was driving you nuts. Alcohol was served during the dinner, and even without it, you felt your face flush.

Your thighs are still tightly pressed against each other from the feeling of his cum just ready to pour out of you if you made any sudden movements. It doesn’t help that Wooyoung has his eyes on you—watching you like a hawk. He’s good at keep his face neutral and poker, almost perfectly nonchalant as he takes a sip of water. You stand up, feeling your thighs shake slightly. Screw this. You decide to go to the kitchen for a breather. It’s the only reasonable place to escape to for now. Not mention, it was big as fuck anyway, no one would know if you hid in the balcony for a breath of fresh air.

Wooyoung casts you a side glance, deeply and sickeningly satisfied that you’re squirming because of him. But in all honesty, he plays the facade very well, because he knows, given any moment if he were to be stuck with you alone, god knows what the fuck he would do to you.

And when you’re missing for a few long minutes it’s when he decides to take the gamble. Nonetheless he was quite concerned that you’ve been missing in the kitchen for a while. Even your friend noticed.

“Where’s y/n?” She asks, swirling the wine glass in her hand, casting glances around the table when she finally realises that you’re missing.

Her brother is about to stand but Wooyoung is quick. He cuts his nephew off, taking his niece’s words cue to go off and find you. “I’ll go get her”, Wooyoung says coolly.

He plasters a smile at his nephew as he gently pushes him down back to his seat. “Enjoy the dinner. Your plate still looks pretty full.”

You hear footsteps approaching behind and your back immediately straightens, well, barely because you’re still feeling all over the place right now. You expect it to be your friend, but when you turn and your eyes land on Wooyoung with his loose polo shirt, a hand in his trousers and the other holding his wine glass. The sight is just making your face heat up even more.

“Are you doing okay?” He asks, joining you at the kitchen balcony. You can’t meet his eyes. You think you’d just combust if you did.

“Barely”, you reply, biting back another moan when you feel his cum about to seep past your folds again. It doesn’t go unnoticed by Wooyoung.

Wooyoung is insanely horny but he isn’t stupid. At least, not yet, he thinks. He would gladly take you right here and then, but he knows he’d enjoy it even more if he had you confined within his walls instead of here. He’s also not in the mood to ruin a happy occasion and a family relationship. At least, not yet.

“A little longer, darling”, he says, almost in a whisper. “Good girls get rewards.”

“Stop teasing me”, you pout, giving him a light slap on his shoulder. Wooyoung only laughs.

You glance at the glass he has in his hands. “Aren’t you driving? You shouldn’t drink too much.”

Wooyoung lifts the glass in his hand higher and tilts his head. “It’s my first glass for the night, and I’m not planning to down another.” He takes a step dangerously close to you. “Wouldn’t want to miss my plans with you later too. We’ll leave when I squeeze your thigh.”

Red flushes on your cheeks again, and you break eye contact, only for Wooyoung to shift your glance right back at him with a single flick of his wrist on your jaw.

“Uncle, what are you doing?” The voice snaps the trance the both of you were in. Your eyes dart to the intruder, who stands with crossed arms, staring daggers at the both of you.

Wooyoung doesn’t falter. He shoots his nephew a glance and slowly releases his fingers from your jaw and smiles curtly at his nephew.

“Just making sure she doesn’t throw up”, he replies, knowing that your eyes are widened and glaring daggers at Wooyoung. He turns back to you, amused by your expression before he messed your hair with his hands. “Let’s go”, he gestures to the both of you. He doesn’t miss his nephew furrowing his eyebrows, so he plays it off by messing his hair up to, and your friend’s brother running off after his uncle, berating him about messing his hair that he took hours to style. You release an exhale. You’re in the clear, at least for now.

It’s not evident to the rest of the dinner table except you, that Wooyoung is getting irritated by the way your friend’s brother keeps trying to get your attention, and that only makes you friend satisfied, as she only eggs him on to openly flirt with you.

Throughout the dinner, Wooyoung keeps topping up the other male’s wine, and he observes the way his nephew progressively gets more tipsy, encouraging him to have more since he was back in the country.

Midway through the conversations, you feel a gentle squeeze on your thigh. You glance over at Wooyoung who’s laughing at something his brother is saying. His hand trails higher up your thigh.

“I think I’ll take my leave now”, you say, slowly standing up. “Thank you for the dinner.” You walk over to your friend who gives you a tight hug.

“How are you going home? By cab? I’d ask my brother to send you home but Uncle Wooyoung made him drink quite a bit.”

Before you answer, Wooyoung cuts in, “I can send her back safely.”

Your friend’s father raises an eyebrow. “You sure you don’t want to stay a little longer?”

Wooyoung shakes his head with a smile. He goes over and gives his niece a hug before he hand hovers over the small of your back, as he leads you out of the estate.

The car ride back felt agonisingly slow. The anticipation was just surging through your veins, and evidently leaked into the atmosphere in the car with Wooyoung. Wooyoung still keeps his soft and light tone when he talks to you in the car, but it’s obvious he’s at his limit, especially from the way he’s gripping the steering wheel with force.

The moment you step in his penthouse, his fingers intertwine with yours, and your jaw drops at how fucking huge his place is for a singular person to reside in. His hand is warm against yours and you wonder what he’s thinking.

He leads you to his bedroom, and when the door shuts, Wooyoung immediately has you pressed against the shut door, trapping you with his body as he tilts your chin to face him.

“Fucking hell. I think I’ve waited long enough”, he hisses before he dives in for a messy kiss. You let yourself be claimed by him, raising your arms to let Wooyoung pull your clothing off your body, letting him admire at your bare chest. You feel like you’re at your limit from the way Wooyoung is teasing you—his hands tugging your pants off, but he doesn’t touch you there just yet. But he leads you over to his bed, letting you fall onto his plush bed.

“Look at your panties. Ruined by yours truly,” Wooyoung hums, tugging the piece of pink clothing, completely stained dark with cum and fluids, now almost transparent. When your panties are finally removed, a drawn out whine echoes around the room, your head throws back, and Wooyoung watches in breathlessly as his cum leaks out of you, load by load, listening to you moan in relief.

“I’ve been good. Kept your cum in my pussy like a good girl”, you whine, tugging against your wet folds, thighs twitching as Wooyoung’s cum continues to spill out of your hole. Wooyoung plunges two fingers into you, pushing his cum back into your pussy, and it makes you flex your abdomen from the pleasure.

He smiles.

“Indeed you have, darling. So well-behaved”, he hums, as his hand brushes against your cheek, swallowing hard when you lean your face into it, staring at him with kitten eyes.

He’s so fucking weak for that. So he pushes his fingers deeper in you, drinking every single fucked out expression you wear. Oh god, he wants to break you so bad. Wooyoung’s fingers press against your g-spot, and your hands clasp onto his veiny, muscled arm, as you jerk with a gasp. Wooyoung tilts his head back slightly, and he wears a smirk when he feels you clench around his fingers.

Then he curls his fingers in you as he finger fucks you, making sure he draws out every dirty moan out of you.

“Wooyoung! Oh fuck. Right there”, your hands slip off his arm, back now completely on his bed letting yourself succumb to the pleasure.

“I know, baby. Feels good doesn’t it?” Wooyoung coos, watching your body jerk from the pleasure. “Look at you, fucking yourself on my fingers too”, he teases. And he’s right—you don’t realise when you even let your hips snap against his wet fingers, but at this point, shame is the last thing you’re worrying about.

The feeling builds so dangerously quick that soon enough, you completely let go, letting your jaw hang open as your orgasm hits, your cunt fluttering and your mind flooded with dopamine as moans leak out of your mouth freely like your cum.

“That’s it”, he encourages, applying light pressure on your clit with his thumb, feeling you convulse around him. “Good girl. Cum on my fingers like that. Dirty them for me just like that.” Your eyes are shut, your mind completely turned into mush.

Wooyoung pulls his fingers out of you slowly, watching the way your eyes slowly open as you catch your breath. At that moment is when you catch the way Wooyoung is eyeing you down, licking your glistening release from his fingers.

“Fuck me, darling. If I had known you tasted this good, I would have stolen the panties you keep in your little friend’s room when I came over for dinners”, Wooyoung sighs.

“Pervert”, you mutter, although the thought of him rubbing his cock onto the fabric, making it as wet and as dirty as possible, and leaving his cum stains all over your pretty little panties makes your cunt flutter.

“No better than you are, darling”, he shoots you back playfully when he watches your cheeks turn red, as he inches closer to you onto his bed, capturing your lips with his.

And you completely surrender to him, melting into the kiss that tasted more than just desire and lust. Wooyoung’s hands slide to the back of your neck to pull you as physically close to him as possible.

You pull back, breathless a few seconds later, a small prick blooming in your heart as the reminder that this man is your friend’s uncle sticking out like sore thumb at the back of your hand. You knew it was wrong to do this to your friend. What would happen if she found out then? What kind of repercussions would there be? Wooyoung senses the slight shift, and has his hands cup your cheek, and your eyes focus on his handsome face again.

“What are you distracted about, darling?” He asks, concern reflected in his expression. “Do you want to stop?”

You shake your head instinctively. “It’s just.…”

“-that I’m your friend’s relative?”

You bite your lip.

“But we’re both consenting adults, aren’t we? I can’t help it if every time I see you, I just want to make sure that you’re only looking at me.”

Oh gods, he was making your head spin.

“It’s just that it’s making me have a lot of thoughts”, you mutter, your hands toying with the bedsheets. Wooyoung plants a firm kiss behind your ear, before he leans into you and whispers, “then I’ll fuck the thoughts right out of you darling”, Wooyoung assures with smile, then he turns you over, now your stomach on the mattress. You hear him unbuckle his trousers, and your heart beats in your ears.

“I’ll take good care of you. I can definitely promise that”, he assures, letting his hands run down your sides, leaving goosebumps across your skin. He gives the nape of your neck a kiss before you feel his very hard erection pressing against the curve of your ass. You can’t see it but his cock is just wet with precum, but you hear the sounds he makes as he strokes himself before he presses his cockhead at your entrance.

Then he slides his cock in, inch by inch, so fucking good that you’re gasping and drooling. His cock fits in you so well, and even though he fucked you just hours before, he feels so different now.

“You’re so fucking thick. Fuck”, you curse, your eyebrows scrunched. Wooyoung chuckles behind you, trying to hold his composure as he watches your pussy stretch perfectly to accommodate him, as he sinks deeper into you. It doesn’t take long till he’s completely in you, and you’re drawing shallow breaths from how full you feel, his cock just resting in you.

“Gonna move now, darling”, he says, giving your ass a soft squeeze before he pulls back and thrusts in again, and a squeal leaves your lips. He’s definitely fucking every single thought out of you tonight, and you weren’t about to complain.

Every time his hips slam into you, you grow slightly light headed from the pleasure. Wooyoung has his hands grabbing your hips as he fucks you into the mattress, groaning himself as he watches you fuck his cock. “Fuck. You’re so fucking perfect, baby”, he groans, watching you swallow his cock in once more.

“So good. Keep fucking me like that, Wooyoungie”, you cry, feeling his cock grow bigger in you.

“That’s a cute nickname you’re giving me”, he smirks, biting back another moan when he feels you clench around him again. “I swear you’re gonna make me cum at this rate with how cute you’re acting.”

“Then do it. You promised me right?” You pout, and then jerk with your eyes rolled back when his cockhead presses onto your g-spot again. Wooyoung swears you could drive him insane just with the shit you say.

His cock twitches in you and another soft moan escapes from you.

“I’m cumming, baby. Fuck”, Wooyoung curses as he forcefully shuts his eyes, white spots splattering beneath his eyelids and cum filling you up again. You whimper softly as he fills you up, fisting the bedsheets beneath you as your body shakes. You could get addicted to this, you swear.

You almost lose feeling in your lower body, but Wooyoung catches you, littering your neck with more kisses once more before he sits you on his lap.

That’s when you realise—he’s still fucking hard. His cock is still covered in a sheer white layer of cum. His hands slide up and down your thighs, giving them squeezes.

“Sit on my dick, baby. You know you want to”, he coaxes, assisting you in lifting your hips over his cock. You’re completely entranced by Wooyoung’s expression and you slowly sink onto his cock—he looks as fucked out as you are, and so fucking beautiful. He sucks his teeth at the sensation of being deeper into your warm, cum-filled pussy.

“One more load to go, baby”, Wooyoung hums as he cups your breasts, giving them circular licks with his tongue, making your cunt leak another layer of fresh slick once more. Your arms wrap around his neck, tugging against his hair as he licks and sucks your nipples.

“Wooyoung, please-“ you cry out, only to be ignored as he switches to the other nipple, making sure he stimulates you to his liking. He finally pulls back, licking his lips. His eyes are glazed out, fucking horny from the feeling that he’s seated inside you, sensitive and overstimulated.

And when you start bouncing on his cock, his jaw slacks, his fingers finding yours to intertwine with. “So fucking good. You’re so warm baby. Oh my fucking god”, he groans, squeezing your hand. This position granted easier access to your g-spot and Wooyoung watches you wordlessly as you chase the feeling of his cockhead hitting that perfect spot over and over again.

“Gonna cum. Your cock feels so good, Wooyoungie,” you whimper, at one point pushing your hips down and slightly grinding to have his cockhead just rub against your g-spot, which evidently drives Wooyoung up the wall when he throws his head back and lifts his hips by instinct.

When he barely gains an ounce of rationale, he moans, “cum all over my cock, baby. Oh fuck. Such a good fucking girl you are for me.” And you do, clamping against his cock as your orgasm hits you for the second time, with Wooyoung holding your thighs down, watching you squirm and twitch as your orgasm sends you into a fucking orbit. Wooyoung can’t help but cum in you once more when the feeling of your pussy fluttering around him, which causes you to squeal and lift yourself off his cock, cum and fluids just trickling out of your abused hole and onto Wooyoung’s cock.

You don’t have time to react before Wooyoung cups you by your jaw and brings you in for a steamy kiss again, his hand snaking around your ass to give it a good squeeze before he lets go.

His eyes are as blown out as yours are, but he still manages to ask, “you doing good, darling?”

You nod, combing his wet bangs back, the both of you catching your breaths from your high.

“Time for a shower, baby”, Wooyoung says, lifting you off him completely, before he takes your hand in his to lead you to the bathroom.

Wooyoung’s arms are curled around your waist and he buries his nose into your neck, breathing deeply at the fact that you smell like his shampoo. It almost makes him horny again. Almost.

The thought of your friend and her brother pops into your brain again, but gets muddled when you hear Wooyoung groan softly before he gets pulled into slumber.

Well, that’ll be a problem for another day when Wooyoung comes around to your friend’s house. But you make a mental note to keep more pretty panties over for Wooyoung to steal the next round.

[noodlesketchbook]

“Dude, you’re totally in love with them.”

Bakugo’s going to strangle him, hero ethics be damned. Kirishima Eijirou is a dead man. He’ll make sure of it with his bare hands.

“The fuck d’ya mean?” Bakugo snarls with as much intensity as he can muster. If he wasn’t stuck in the classroom, he’d be shooting grenades at his so-called friend. Damn shitty hair has no idea what he’s talking about, “Did your hair gel finally seep in your smooth-brained ass or something?!”

Kirishima’s not deterred and it makes him seethe. If anything, his classmate’s grin only seems to grow wider, “[Y/N]! You’ve been staring at them for the past ten minutes, bro. Did you even hear a single thing I was saying?”

He makes a pointed glance towards a few chairs away from Bakugo’s desk. There, talking to their little gaggle of friends sits [Y/N]. Dumb, annoying, stupid, dumb… annoying…

Did Bakugo mention that they’re annoying?

“Fuck off and go bother some extra or something,” Bakugo hisses, “I was not staring. You’ve got loose screws if you’d think I’d give a shit over some loser like them.”

“I don’t know, man,” Kirishima shrugs, “I’d say you’ve got it pretty down bad. It’s like sparks fly every time you look at them!”

Sparks? Oh, they’re flying all right. Bakugo’s got that all covered. 

“... DIE, SHITTY HAIR!”

“BRO WAIT I WAS JUST KIDDING- PUT THE QUIRK DOWN-”

--------

here's a sort of part two cause my friend asked for it lol

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman Groupchat (Final Timeline)

Warnings: suggestive, dark humour, mentions of abuse (kazutora's dad) in a serious and non serious way

Desc: so uh, it's not exactly like this (the request), but this is the basic format of events. the founders know kind of but Smiley and Angry don't. 🍎anon, forgive me if you hate it 😓🙏

Side Note: all the dark topics i'm making fun of (homophobia, abuse etc) are things i've personally gone through! i'm not just an asshole who jokes about bad things✋️😪!

Angry: i'm beginning to think there is something wrong with our friend

Draken: be more specific

Baji: that's literally all of us

Baji: ESPECIALLY Mikey

Mikey: ?

Mikey: you can't prove that

Baji: there's a deep sadness in your eyes

Baji: *madness

Mitsuya: tbh, both work

Mitsuya: sorry

Mikey: what do you mean

Mikey: i'm perfectly fine

Mikey: everyone in my life is alive and no one is dead

Mikey: i haven't committed any unforgivable sins

Mikey: see? i'm fine

Mitsuya: what are you ever talking about dude

Baji: see? he's crazy

Baji: i'd say something's wrong with Takemitchy but he's just ugly. does that count

Takemitchy: my wife would think otherwise😒

Baji: idgaf

Mikey: i also think otherwise just btw

Draken: bro let it go

Mikey: let what go😁

Mikey: it should've been me walking down the isle fr but like, i don't mind

Takemitchy: Mikey-kun i can't tell if this is a joke 😂

Chifuyu: Mikey you're making him uncomfortable😒

Mikey: Chifuyu, did you know that in another universe, i shot you in the head?

Chifuyu: yeah i bet, fucking psycho

Takemitchy: Mikey-kun😐

Anrgy: i mean Kazutora

Angry: there's something wrong with Kazutora

Draken: can't argue with that

Mitsuya: yep

Mikey: oh yeah definitely, but we all knew this?

Chifuyu: he should be admitted to a psych ward, in my personal opinion

Smiley: he has a few screws loose, but that's what makes him funny

Smiley: he threatened to kill me the other day and i genuinely didn't know if he was joking or not. i love that guy😁

Takemitchy: i'm sure he was joking. we all joke like that🤣

Chifuyu: he probably wasn't and we all know it

Draken: why did he threaten to kill you

Draken: did you do that thing where you intentionaly trigger people to get a reaction out of them

Draken: cause then i can vouch for Kazutora and say that Smiley would deserve it

Smiley: i only do that with you, Draken. it's really easy

Smiley: you're hot when you're mad

Smiley: i love seeing that vein pop out of that big ass head of yours

Smiley: makes me wonder what else is veiny

Angry: ew😠👎

Mikey: do you mean his penis?

Mikey: cause yeah it has like one vein

Baji: how do you even know that

Mikey: Emma has pictures

Draken: i'm gonna hurt you, Smiley

Smiley: see?

Smiley: easy

Angry: can you please stay on topic😐

Smiley: fine

Smiley: he tried to kill me cause i beat him at UNO

Smiley: insisted i cheated🙄

Mikey: did you?

Smiley: yeah

Angry: you find new ways to disappoint me big bro😡

Smiley: it's just a game lil bro 😁

Draken: one day, i'll do something i can't take back

Smiley: what, you'll fuck me?

Draken: enough

Angry: before you hurt Smiley, can we please talk about Tora

Angry: since you guys are super close

Angry: i really am worried

Chifuyu: he's fine

Angry: how do you know

Chifuyu: i'm with him like 24/7?

Chifuyu: okay maybe he's not fine fine, but Baji-san and i are dealing with it

Baji: he's going to therapy, so it's not like he's not getting help

Takemitchy: but what's wrong with him?

Takemitchy: oh, nevermind, i remember

Baji: how would *you* know🧐?

Takemitchy: uh

Takemitchy: i don't

Takemitchy: i just didn't want to look stupid!! yeah, that's it haha😅

Mikey: dude, you're gonna blow our cover

Mikey: when you could be blowing me instead 🤣🤣😭💔😂🍆💦

Mikey: anyway

Takemitchy: i don't know what to say anymore 😄

Angry: GUYS

Angry: PLEASE

Draken: see, idk if we should be disclosing why Kazutora's the way he is

Draken: isn't it like, super personal?

Baji: his dad used to beat him, real bad

Baji: his mom too. they'd fight all the time and they'd make him pick sides and shit

Angry: his mom also used to beat him🙁?

Baji: no, his dad would beat Tora and his mom

Baji: i set his dad's car on fire once 🔥

Draken: ...😐

Baji: what? it's not like he keeps it private. if you ask him, he'll tell you

Draken: yeah, we should have asked *him*

Baji: you don't get him like i do fr

Chifuyu: wait 😌🤚

Chifuyu: they don't love you like i love you 🫵

Baji: ?

Baji: i love you too?

Chifuyu: it's... it's a trend

Chifuyu: yk, on tiktok

Chifuyu: nevermind

Mikey: you look so fucking stupid🫵😭

Draken: why do i ever bother

Draken: i'm gonna leave this group for good

Mikey: you've been saying that for the past 10 years 🥱

Angry: oh😕

Angry: is there any way we can help him?

Smiley: man i feel like we should have known this

Smiley: that's why he gets so mad at "yo mama" jokes

Smiley: i feel bad now 😬

Baji: just don't talk about dad's or mom's or families at all

Baji: he's not gonna do anything, but i'm sure it hurts him inside

Mikey: we should find his dad and kill him

Mikey: amiryt guys

Draken: why are you so casual about murder

Draken: but i agree, this once

Mitsuya: you literally always agree

Kazutora: who are we killing

Kazutora:

Draken: why does it look like that

Kazutora: hang on, let me catch up

Draken: don't do that. we weren't talking about anything

Baji: we were talking about your abusive parents

Draken: 😐

Kazutora: ...

Kazutora: i thought i was hiding it well

Smiley: hiding what?

Kazutora: mental illness

Smiley: oh

Smiley: you weren't

Mikey: dude

Angry: there's something wrong with all of us! so it's okay

Smiley: yeah but it's more obvious with Kazutora

Draken: are you good tho?

Kazutora: yeah i'm fine. my dad came to the pet shop the other day and i guess i've been freaked out

Kazutora: but i killed him👍

Angry: 😧

Takemitchy: SHIT

Mikey: oh god, please tell me you're joking

Baji: dude😐

Kazutora: i'm joking lol

Kazutora: i just hit him several times in the head with a crowbar

Draken: ...

Draken: so you, killed him?

Kazutora: he's in the hospital. he's fine

Kazutora: well, he's in a coma, but he's alive

Smiley: dude, you're gonna go to jail?????

Kazutora: nahhh

Baji: fym "nahhh" ???

Kazutora: no evidence

Kazutora: i followed him home and he didn't see me

Takemitchy: what about camera's??

Kazutora: i have an alibi

Draken: holy shit you're gonna go to jail man

Draken: ok we need to have a meeting or something. plan of action

Mitsuya: Kazutora why would you do that man

Mikey: Kazutora

Mikey: do you know the amount of work you just undid😟

Mikey: why do you like bashing people's skulls so much holy shit 😓

Angry: what do we do

Kazutora: guys it'll be fine

Kazutora: my dad has so many ops. he's the worst guy ever. people hate him

Kazutora: and i stole some stuff so they'll just rule it as a mugging

Draken: ...or as an attempted murder😐

Kazutora: you guys are bumming me out😒

Draken: us????

Takemitchy: ok you know what

Takemitchy: let's all meet at my place

Takemitchy: we'll eat and drink and uh, discuss the situation at hand

Takemitchy: in a normal, non bumming out way

Mikey: we're cooked

Baji: i'll take the fall, if necessary

Mikey: holy shit i'm going to kill myself

Draken: THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU

Mikey: YES IT IS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND

Takemitchy: we're cooked

[sprintingficcommentator]

Okay, I can't take it anymore.

Doesn't anyone else find it weird that Wei Wuxian went through the worst time of his life, being betrayed or abandoned (even in his mind) by everyone he ever loved, right before comitting a gruesome and horrifyingly violent suicide and then coming back to life seemingly completely fine and mentally stable?

Because dude confessed he didn't remember anything about his time dead, so in the beggining of the book for him his sister's (and other adopted sibling's) death, his brother's betrayal, his child's supposed death and that of his adopted new family must have happened literally 10 minutes ago. And he's totally fine???? Either he has the Dissociation, Denial and Ignoring Your Problems Power of the gods themselves, or bro has more than a few screws loose and went through the entire mental cycle all the way back to "life goes on as usual, nothing happened, everything's fine".

Like, bro, no. My poor man needs a break, some time to process everything he went through; past or current life events; and I'm kinda mad we didn't get that in the book.

[helpfandom]

Yandere TAS! Riddler x Platonic Reader

Hcs under cut. If you're my bestie who told me to do this: <3

Reader just doesn't care in this one, they have been transformed by the Gotham-ite lifestyle of don't care, and as such, is a snarky little bitch to Riddler. Brat is in loose terms.

Why would he take interest you, well... He took interest because you were one of the few who didn't care for his antics, and were one of the fewer who could go toe to toe to him that weren't an enemy. Well, honestly, you didn't care about what he did and went on with your day, and with all that goes on in Gotham, how could you not?

The next part is that in order to get him to not interact with you, you would be a stupid little 'brat'. God, you were slightly insufferable to be around when Riddler would try to antagonize you. "Riddle me this, Riddle me that, why are you such a big 'brat'?"

He's definitely hacked into cameras to watch you interact with people, and once he found out that you interact with people differently than him, he takes it to heart, but in the way that he finds delight in you being a 'brat' to him. He notices that you only are that way to him, If you're only a brat to him, surely that means you're comfortable with him! ...Right?

Despite being 'super intelligent', Riddler is quite unperceptive about the fact that Reader dislikes/hates him. To you, this is just some weirdo on the street who likes to bombard people with riddles and take over Wall street for revenge. But soon you start to notice that he attacks more towards places you go to frequently and even people who, to your knowledge, haven't interacted or offended him. Of course, to him, interacting with his kid is a major offense, so he attacks your parents and friends, even a couple teachers who he thinks aren't teaching you well enough. "My, My, You simply don't have the brains for teaching my dear adolescent, perhaps I should remove it? Hmm?"

Because Reader can go 'toe to toe' with him [most of his riddles have multiple answers that he doesn't realize and when Reader points them out, he takes that as a sign of intelligence, and Reader being able to keep up with his 'genius'], he assumes that Reader has intelligence that can only match his, and as such, he must fuel this potential intelligence. [He means adopt you].

He definitely tries to kidnap you a lot, but with how much he has done schemes related to you, Batman (and maybe Robin if you're friends) already know and stop him.

Although, if he were to kidnap you, he would set up cameras everywhere THAT DOESN'T INTRUDE ON PRIVATE SPACE. So nothing in your bedroom or the bathroom. Everywhere else is free game though. Escape is possible, but unlikely, because of his many cameras and intelligence.

Although, he would fake the idea of an escape in order to test your intelligence, he would put a series of puzzles (Not riddles) and if you solve them all, he congratulates you. He finds a small bit of selfish pleasure in watching you fail to escape, and he thinks that escaping is a game for him, a fun thing for you to challenge his brain.

Absolutely has no idea how to take care of a kid though, so you're screwed if you're super young and don't know how to take care of yourself.

"Listen well, my dear adolescent. I will act as your father figure now. The rest of the society is too,, unintelligent to take care of minds like our own. I will hone your mind until we create father/kid pair the world has never seen!"

"Bro literally, I don't care, your riddles are stupid. Shut up."

"Oh, how I enjoy our banter."

[emperoryumemomo]

MEET MORIA (yes another one)(probably not the last one :3 not sorry) as always lore ramble and flag under the cut

Moria island, formerly Machida island, is a japanese micronation that's been around since the 1700s. She's owned by a rich japanese family who's always loved Europe and its aesthetics, trying to immitate it themselves by building european style buildings and garden on their island and by dressing in a somewhat european way.

The latest queen of the island, Setsuko Machida, is a loita gothic fashion influencer whose aesthetic is different from the regular lolita gothic stuff because she takes more inspiration from old european styles. She's renamed the island to "Moria island" which is supposed to be a mix of Mori and the name Maria which are both words in her online username.

Setsuko wanted to make contact with some european micronations because she thought it would be really cool to have some european friends, so after looking up some and finding that Welland is usually friendly to any micronations who try to interact with them, she just announced on social medias that she was now allied with Welland without consulting either Welland himself or his boss. When the boss out out about it, he just accepted it cause... well why not. When he went to tell Welland, he found him missing.

Because Moria had kidnapped him and brought him over to her place, this is how you make friends, source: trust me bro. Welland however has a few screws loose (he's a kirkland after all) and instead of panicking or being surprised he just accepted to befriend her and spent some quality time at her tea party. There aren't many pictures of Welland online and Moria didn't imagine him to be a silly farmer, she had something more refined and elegant in mind, but you can't be picky about who you befriend i guess? i won't go into their relationship too much, maybe in a future post, but they eventually date :3

Moria loves anything european just because it's european, but she also doesn't care to be accurate with her aesthetics. At first she only befriends Welland and other european micronations just for the novelty of having european friends, but eventually she does start viewing them and loving them for who they are and not where they're from.

Moria likes to assign titles like "duke", "baroness" and "sir" to people based on how she views them, Stomaria gets no title he's just Stomaria cause fuck him am i right?

that's all i can think of rn

[izunias-meme-hole]

One Villainous Scene - Love Fading Into The Bleck

Considering this this month is around the same time as Valentines day, I chose to focus on a villain that was created from love, a loss of love to be exact. Said villain comes from Super Paper Mario, and if you've played this game, you know exactly who I'm talking about. If not then allow me to explain the story of Count Bleck.

When the player first meets Bleck, he's presented to be as dangerous as he appears, being a ghastly figure with a white top hat, a white cape, a monocle, a glowing red eye, and a glowing mouth. He also wants to destroy the universe using a book called the Dark Prognosticus, and a destructive power born of a false love, known as the Chaos Heart. While he certainly has menace and a big goal, he comes off as slightly hammy due to a little speech quirk, like bro goes "BLEH HEH HEH BLEEECK" and talks about himself in the third person sometimes. In other words on the surface he seems like just another fun yet terrifying one-shot villain that these Mario RPG's like making. I mean just look at him.

However as the game progresses, through both the main story and the 7 memories of someone called "Lord Blumiere", we pick up some very interesting information on our big bad. Blumire is a member of the Tribe of Darkness who fell off a cliff and got nursed back to health by a human named Timpani. The two fell in love and they were seemingly inseparable, though their fates ended up being one big Romeo and Juliet level of tragedy, with Blumire's father wiping Timpani's memory and cursing her, and Blumire searches endlessly for her after his father told him that "she no longer resides in this world".

When we end up looking at the seventh memory Blumire ends up believing that Timpani is permanently gone, and decides to go to an extreme. He goes to obtain the Dark Prognosticus. His father makes an attempt to stop him, but Blumire responds to him with a few simple words.

"I do not care, Father! A world without her is empty. A LIFE without her is empty."

Blumire makes his stance obvious to his father. He's given up on life, not just his own life, but on all life. Timpani was his world, and as far as he believes, she's gone, so he might as well bring an end to it all. As the nihilistic Blumiere opens up the Dark Prognosticus he utters a laugh that is all too familiar to the player before its prophecy and declaring that he will wipe every inch of the worlds. His father once again pleads for his son to stop, but Blumiere says this...

"Blumiere is no more! I am Count Bleck! And no one shall stand in my way! BLEH HEH HEH HEH! BLECK!"

Count Bleck was Lord Blumiere. Count Bleck, the entity who wants to commit mass omnicide, was a man who found true love and it ended in tragedy thanks to forces outside of his control. And to honestly make matters worse, Timpani was implied to have been the original form of the pixl, Tippi, meaning that while she may not have been dead and just didn't remember him until they met again in World 6, it just means that Bleck set into action a prohecy that ends in mass omnicide for nothing. The mere idea of loosing the one he loved more than anything, set him on this path, and as we reach the finale we see him acknowledge that how massively he screwed up, and encourages Mario, a hesitant Tippi, and the rest of the party to kill him if they want to save everything, until Dimentio decides to hijack the finale as the final boss using the Chaos Heart.

So yeah, Count Bleck everyone. (Apologies if this seems half-assed, my ass is getting kicked in college due to an essay that's due on tuesday)

[rmd-writes]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤

Thanks Michelle! Choosing five fics was like trying to choose a favourite child which is to say, it's impossible. Okay, that's a lie, my favourite child is the one who is not sucking the life from my soul at any given moment. Yesterday both of my kids got a turn - first my youngest, because he very sweetly packed me a little fun size Crunchie bar from his personal stash of lollies and brought it to the movies for me and kept checking whether I'd eaten it yet and if I liked it. But then later he was being so loud I couldn't think, so his older sister became my favourite child because she told him to be quiet. Anyway, I'm turning into one of those recipe bloggers who can't give a recipe without sharing their whole life's story, so here is my list of fics I'm proud of in which I absolutely cheat by sharing some fic series:

don't estop me now (RWRB)

(read to the victor, the spoils first and then the prequel, what, like it's hard?)

I'm really so proud of this lawyer AU! I had an absolute blast writing these fics and I think it shows in my writing - it's definitely some of my best. What, like it's hard? is the first really substantial long fic I've ever written and that in itself was a challenge but the snarky rivarly between Alex and Henry is just so fun to write! Whenever I see comments roll in on these fics it just makes me smile so hard to see other people enjoying them

Soon (Tarlos)

PWP but make it bite-sized (aka 37, 100-word chapters). This started as a drabble but then I got the slightly unhinged idea to continue the fic in drabbles (ie precisely 100 words at a time). Was it a challenge to write only 100 words and make sure each chapter told enough of the story in so few words? Yes. Did I have so much fun edging Carlos and the fandom alongside him? Also yes.

Feeling kind of sketchy (Schitt's Creek)

artist!David unwittingly helps Patrick find himself and finds love along the way. This one is a little different in style to my usual writing, and I really leaned into the slightly more poetic style in the second part which I actually structured around a poem.

Precious Love (Tarlos)

A 5+1 exploring TK's relationship with love and self-worth. I don't usually write much angst but I dove into it for this one and I like how it turned out! Don't worry, it has a happy ending, I'm incapable of writing anything else!

Do you even lift, bro? (Tarlos)

aka my Tarlos gym AU - each of these fics (Let's Get Physical, Let Me Hear Your Body Talk, I gotta handle you just right) stands alone as a one-shot but they are part of a planned seven-part series which contains an actual plot, despite the way they read like pwp. The thing I'm most proud of in these fics though, is the coding - with a big assist from @celeritas2997, I learned to code well enough to embed actual instagram posts and DMs with photos in these fics, which for someone who is absolutely not a STEM girlie, is a very big deal.

The Grindr Toolbox: A Guide to Getting Nailed

A Helping Hand (Tarlos)

This Is Not A Drill (David x Patrick)

Are You Screwing with Me? (firstprince)

I set out to write three fics for three fandoms based on one prompt, and while it was a tricky balance to set up three very different fics using the same loose structure, I like how these turned out!

[princeescaluswords]

So I'm trying to write a "Scott has enough patience so he becomes the monster everybody kept forcing him to be" fanfic (keyword on the trying lol I'm not good at writing fanfics) and it got me thinking something.

What would make him actually snap, taking all the comments until the point he's tired of being the good guy and for once shut all of those comments down by going to the other side of the cause? I mean, he almost died -and actually died three times which is weird how he's handling it like he's pro at it -that could factor the mental side. The consistent negative comments from the "evil" characters (and from his own pack too wtf bro) so why can't the fandom write him an actual good evil plot??

Scott is smart enough on his own, he got outshined by Stiles and Lydia's since they're a lot smarter academically than Scott's (they dared asking him wtf AP stands for??? Just because he does bad in one class doesn't mean he's bad in every class ya get me? He stupid but he's not everyday stupid) so giving him some moments of darkness, and him actually do a type of "I don't harm innocents but I'll slit your throat if you harm one" type of manipulation evilness then expect me to die because I want that Evil Scott more than the typical Scott is a bad friend/true alpha/beta/hE forCEd [blank] shenanigans

Davis did Scott dirty by not making him bad from the Meet Nemeton Day episode alongside Stiles...full of potential to make Scott actually face his mental and emotional health but they have to make the definitely not supernatural token human jackhammer to become the bad boy of the week.

Sorry for the rant I just want you to know how I feel it could go down if Scott had a few loose screws and go downhill.

I sense the frustration coming off this post and it's something I can empathize with but I feel I have to caution you -- and people who feel as you do -- about a bad habit we fans of Scott fall into. We let fandom's poison color our appreciation of our favorite character.

Peter never said that biting Scott was a mistake, and that he wished he had bitten Stiles that night in the wood. When Peter complained about Scott it's because Scott had too strong a will to fall for his manipulations. His complaints were never about Scott's inadequacies, but about Scott being 'morally bland' and 'incorruptible.' When fandom states that Scott wouldn't have a chance against Peter, the first person in line to disagree would have been Peter, considering his canonical behavior.

Derek didn't resent the Master Plan because he recognized that Scott's actions saved him and his pack. In fact, he chose to learn from Scott and became a better person. Part of that evolution is that he stopped caring about the Hale legacy or revenge; the only reason he came back to Beacon Hills was for Scott. In the end, Scott's influence enabled Derek to become a True Alpha as well. His last words weren't to Stiles or Peter, after all. It's only parts of the fandom that think that Scott took something away from Derek or brainwashed him into a cult.

Theo and the Doctors recognized that the threat to their plans that Scott represented. After all, he was the only one that had to be eliminated. Deucalion told Scott that it was him that Gerard was truly afraid he couldn't beat. This was what was on the screen, and that's the only thing that fans of the show should take into account.

And not just the villains. The Sheriff of Beacon County turned to Scott when the crime was supernatural. Satomi Ito. His mother. Hellhounds. Banshees. Even Stiles. They all believed, even if they were angry with him, that Scott would be able to save the day. They didn't care that he got a D on a test or that he took summer school, because they weren't looking for a reason to dislike him. That's what parts of the fandom do, and for the chance to shift attention to the nearest shitty entitled white boy.

Because Scott did have moments of darkness and violence, no matter how much parts of the fandom want to diminish them, but the difference is he overcame them, no matter how much parts of the fandom want to act as if he didn't. Heroes have something different that marks them as such, and they have had it since humankind first started writing heroic stories. I would tell you what it is, but I'll let Derek say it from The Divine Move (3x24).

DEREK: When there's no chance of winning, he keeps fighting. When all hope is lost, he finds another way. And when he's beat down, he stands up again.

Scott's darkness is Despair. It's the temptation to give up, to recognize that his opponents are too powerful for him to care about other people, that he can't win without becoming like them, that what he wants is forever out of his reach because of what was done to him.

This includes Night School (1x07) when he barely manages to shake off Peter's mental enslavement. This includes Battlefield (2x11) when he has every reason to give into Gerard's manipulations, including his own mother's pleas and threats to Stiles and Allison. This include Motel California (3x06) when he convinces himself that his suicide would be the best thing he can do for everyone else. This includes The Divine Move where he pushes aside the memory of Allison dying in his arms to take care of Stiles while finding a way to win. This includes the entirety of Season 4 to the moment he rips that skull off his head. This includes the end of Status Asthmaticus (5x10), when he asks "why would they come back?" instead of focusing on what was done to him.

This is what happened, in both the show and the movie. This is what this story was about. This is why he is the heroic lead protagonist. This is why we like him, not because he never touched the darkness, but because he did touch the darkness and he rejected it. Well, maybe I'm being too presumptuous, but that's why I like him.

But too often, I think we've allowed ourselves to be blinded by an overwhelming majority of fandom who wanted a white guy instead so much that they'll look for ways to bash Scott. And they have to bash him really hard in order to make the real hero a guy who broke into Scott's house, threw him up against the wall and threatened to kill him on their third meeting and then bit four kids to serve as soldiers in a war. They have to bash really hard in order to make the real hero a guy who was so much of a coward that he worked with the woman who burned his family alive in order to get what he wanted. They have to bash really hard to make the real hero a teenager so fundamentally insecure that he lied to every single person he loved about an accidental death and then worked with there enemies to cover it up, selling his best friend out in the process.

So we spend time defending Scott from these people and their fanon creation -- and don't get me wrong, it's a good thing we do that -- but we have to remember that they are wrong. Absolutely wrong. Because their alternative version comes from banality and racism, and the story they wanted would be full of brutality, selfishness, and the capitulation to the worst instincts of human nature.

So my advice to you is to keep that frustration, but direct it at the media that actually deserves it.

[rocksandmirrors]

I had an idea

Matt is a huge overthinker. Not like oh did they like me or not but more like oh I messed this thing up here is how that could spiral into the apocalypse. Or hell be sitting on something mechanical with gus and just mention how it could break and kill them both. Gus will usually point out how unlikely it is for that to happen and play with mates hair to distract him. However he once said it around amity and now amity refuses to go on any machine with him becuse "I don't need to panic because someone brings up how we could die" and when asked why he thinks a screw will just come loose he simply shrugs and says sabotage. Gus has gotten a few stories of kids making it so thongs would fall apart or break at glandas including a railing witch caused Matt to break his leg and injurhis wrist.

hi i forgot i had like. an ask box AGHDAS

bro is plagued by the horrors (i could see it work tho)

[goldammerchen]

Since he is no longer representing a nation, do you think Gil could run for office in Germany or maybe the u.s senate or something?

I see him as a former HVA (GDR's foreign intelligence service) agent so even if he was a mere human I don't think he could sdfsdfdsf. A former know Stasi member having a candidature? Never. Imo he was on probation after the reunification, not jail only because what East Germans would think, and Ludwig would have dusted off his law degree, not resting (and not working) until his old bro that just got back was out, in a rare moment of defiance (family first).

(Extra hc: I think he mostly participed in foreign espionage, making him spy his own citizens would result in malicious compliance.)

...All of this being said, a joke candidature would be amazing. To cause chaos, or to pressure actual candidates to take some of the useful proposals, or both lmao. Chaotic from start to finish (imo after everything that happened he has more than a few screws loose), at the same time he does have a strong personality (too strong or too serious prussian persona would attract, weirdos tho...)

Trying to make sense of the contradictory wild hooligan canon character, and the actual prussian stereotypes makes Gilbert attractive to play with. Serious when needed, otherwise a wild card. In present time I see him a bit as an unsocialized animal (lol), that and his bad fame would make nearly impossible for him to get big rank public charge, but he still could be a public worker 🤔. The public service tradition predates Bismark after all, and he can be reliable and diligent. Could be trusted with jobs for Berlin or Brandenburg laenders, or small consulates; him being a kids teacher would be cute...

He does need action though, I think he would never stay in one work for too long. Plus, his situation is uncertain enough to make difficult to settle in one job, one profession, etc. He maybe would want to try everything while he can, or think he has too little time to put down roots, an habit that all nation-people probably have to certain extent, but for the contrary reasons: outliving humans.

[talesfromsiteredacted]

Random Things Overheard On Site

Ah, my coworkers. The weird, wacky, wonderful folks who keep the wheels turning. They're a real cast of oddballs, but no one normal ever works at the Foundation, excluding Doctor Glass, of course. Dude's totally got his head on straight, and welded in place. The rest of us... yeah, we're all nuts. Even Site Command has a few loose screws, in Jack Bright's case it's every last blessed one of them. Hold on to your hope, abandon sanity all those who enter here.

On 049:

"Sure, he can kill you with a touch, but at least he'll apologize as it happens, and unlike some people, his hands are clean."

On 076-2:

"Wow. Uh... where were you keeping that axe, buddy?" A pause. "Huh. After training, mind checking over a few weapon designs? I'm doing a new character in D&D."

On the Foundation, to the new hires:

"No, you don't have to be crazy to work here. Clef and Bright will train you in that."

At target practice:

"Come on, ladies! I've seen senior citizens shoot better their first time playing Call of Duty. Eyes on the target, fingers on the trigger. Let's try this once more, with accuracy."

On 053, playing with 682:

"Aw... it's actually really cute how 682 lets her draw flowers all over him."

"Yeah. Remember the 'ballet lessons' last week? Who knew they even made tutus in his size?"

"Not me. Uh, any chance of photos?"

"Sorry, Benji... kinda dropped my camera in the scaly jerk's acid bath."

On 073:

"He's smart, funny, sweet, a total Arabic fox... why not ask him out, Sarah?"

"One. He's an anomaly, and off the approved list. Two, even if I were allowed to date him, isn't he gay?"

"Oh. Yeah. Got a brother?"

On Doctor Gears:

"Can't stop, gotta get the coffee to the Doc."

"He's out? Shit. Caffeine emergency, out of the way people! Do not block the intern, he has Gears' coffee."

On some anomalous weaponry Agent Strelnikof found:

"It took the door out. And the door behind it. And the door behind that door. And half the target range. I think the Insurgency would sooner meet 682 than face one of these guns. And I think both Doctor Clef and I are in love. With the gun."

During a Keter Breach:

"Do you HAVE to follow the anomaly while blasting 'Gangster's Paradise' by Coolio?"

"You'd prefer 'How I Can Just Kill a Man' by Rage Against the Machine?"

"I'd prefer it if you just did your job, Doctor Bright!"

On 079:

"Not sure who's more annoying... the Old Man AI or the homicidal bitch in 'System Shock'"

"Shodan doesn't have 079's sense of humor."

"And neither of them trump the Red Queen in the Andersonverse 'Resident Evil' movies in terms of creepiness."

"Kid AIs are the worst. And she is a creepy little psycho."

During training with 076-2:

"You threw a sword at my head, Abel!"

"But... did you die?"

And... finally, some Multiverse hijinks. A bit of background here: one of the reality warpers pulled a villain, well HE said he was a villain, from a place called Central City in the other universe. He has some ice powers, but... it wasn't Mr. Snart. Nope, we got an incompetent wannabe cryomancer with a stupid name. And... Iris being Iris, she told him off.

"Chillblaine? You call yourself... Chillblaine? Do you even know what a chillblain is? It's a flu symptom. What are ya gonna do, asshole, sneeze on us? Worse, it sounds like a rich spoiled white uni bro trying to get his jerkwad buddy to calm the fuck down. 'Chill, Blaine. She ain't worth it, bro.' Fuck off until you come up with something we can take seriously." Dude looks like he's gonna cry. I look over, and the rest of the team, even Big Brother, are trying not to laugh at this loser. I have no idea who the hell this Flash dude is, but he's got one pathetic nemesis here. Fifty bucks says he couldn't even steal a wallet.

[spotlightstudios]

Oc Ramble Below the Cut:

Okay so, Prism is a character I've been rotating in my head:

He's the oldest of two siblings. He comes from a family of superheroes that are notorious for having two kids, one That's a support, the other who's an attacker.

Prism was a late bloomer to get his powers, but was the older of the two siblings. When his younger brother (Yuni) awakened powers that had a Light-based attribute it was obvious that he was the attacker and Prism was the support. Therefore they were both still trained as though they both had powers.

When Prism *did* get his powers, it was when Yuni was getting attacked by a Villain out in broad daylight (targeted attack) and he wasn't strong enough to fight the villain 1 on 1. Prism, y'know, manifested his powers in the moment. He's an Ore specialist who can form Glass off his body. He used that to amplify his brother's attacks and make shields for then against the attacker. Due to their training, they were able to work together really well and beat this guy as two rookies in a matter of minutes before pros could even show up.

Of course, Yuni and Prism didn't notice that Prism's powers had manifested weirdly. When the Pros showed up, Yuni and Prism were excitedly hugging and shoving eachother (like brothers would), but they misinterpreted it as a fight and separated the two, because Prism had Villain powers + the Villain title. They both tried to fight back, but it was p obvious they were outmatched by professionals, and so they were both taken by force. Yuni for his safety, Prism fir being a Villain.

After that point and a lot of legal trouble, Prism started to crack under anxiety of being unable to protect and help Yuni. His "Villain Obsession" was his family. In particular, his little brother. This was noted, and after a lot of fighting from the outside and bribes, Yuni got Prism released from prison and placed on as his 'body guard' of sorts. He promises to make sure Prism would abide by hero rules or he'd let them take him back to prison.

Of course, Prism has a few screws loose, but mostly was completely normal around his brother. They went back to classes, lived normally as civilians, it was only in battle that things would change. Prism was known as Yuni's 'pet villain' because he was usually on a metaphorical tight leash. It was unheard of for a hero to use a Villain as a support, but Yuni's special circumstances and heritage allowed it.

Of course, the brothers really liked being able to fight together and put up an act of beast and tamer, but they were really just goofy siblings. Some part of them were aware of the injustice within both the hero and villain sides, but they had a good gig so they didn't bother caring too much. It was simply a game to them, because they were so isolated.

.

I imagine this happens to them a few times: Either villains kidnapping Yuni to try and use him as ransom, expecting Prism to help them, only for Prism to personally hunt them down and explode them to smithereens. Or. Villains kidnapping Prism to try and free him from Yuni, only for the villains to just release Prism after he either beats them up or explains very clearly that he's there willingly cuz Yuni's his brother and they're very content.

.

Prism is also a very strong villain on his own merit, lots of training and honing his abilities so he's not just a useless support. He's probably a whole rank stronger than his lil bro (and could easily defeat him), but that's just how he works. He simply wants to be as strong as he can so his brother never has to be alone. (If he gets caught, killed, goes crazy, etc that would leave Yuni alone, and Prism won't let that happen.)