#bro does the server exist?!?!!?

[felinesassosaurus]

Anybody else remember when you could click "contact us" and see a dedicated customer support phone number and email instead of just getting tossed into the death spiral of FAQ page - useless answer - contact us - FAQ page? Remember when you didn't have to go through an entire 3 part hero's journey arc just to communicate to a human being who might actually be able help? Remember when companies had the guts to have proper complaints channels?

Me freakin too dude

[vehemourn]

found

[yuurei20]

hello! i was thinking about jamil’s family recently and remembered an exchange between him and najma during firelit skies. in EN, she calls him “bro/dude” (can’t really recall which at the moment ;;) and he reacts with “since when do you call me bro/dude!?” I was wondering what this exchange is like in JP? is it possibly an attempt to localize her using casual language with him, or is it a switch from something like “nii-san” to “aniki”? thank you so much in advance!

Hello hello!! Thank you for this question! ^^

Yes yes! This is EN doing its best to adapt to the use of a word that doesn't really exist in English!

For some quick background: there are several ways to say the word "this" in Japanese, depending on how casually you are speaking.

When you are introducing a person (ex: "This is my brother"), one way you can do so is by using the form of "this" read as kochira (こちら）.

In the example above Jade is not introducing anyone, but he is using the polite "this," because he speaks formally all of the time.

Here we have Rollo using similarly polite forms of "that": one for when someone/something is closer to the listener than the speaker (そちら, sochira) and another for when someone is far away from both people in a conversation (あちら, achira).

In this way we know that Idia is closer to Azul than he is to Rollo and that Riddle is far away from all three of them, simply from the form of the "that" that Rollo is using.

And these can be very important distinctions! For example, that time there were translations alleging that Silver was going into the prefect's bedroom, because of confusion about the difference between "this" and "that":

The "this" that Najma uses when introducing herself as Jamil's sister is not the polite こちら but the casual これ(written in katakana above as コレ), which is very impolite to use with humans!

You can use it with objects (re: above, Jamil uses the same これ about a lamp that he is holding), but not people. Najma is essentially saying, "I am the little sister of this."

(Here is an English-language article about this on Tofugu!)

Jamil reacts with something close to, "What's with looking at your older brother and saying "this"!, but as the English language does not have different words to denote different levels of politeness, their interaction had to be rewritten for EN.

That is where Najma saying "dude" came from, which I thought was a cute and effective solution ^^

[emmkitt]

stop calling mephone4 a child.

my credentials(/silly): mephone4’s biggest fan + someone who sees mephone as representative of myself. i am also an autistic adult. (relevant)

i went on an autistic tirade rambling about this in a discord server but i wanted to compile my reasoning and stuff here into a tumblr post because this is very important to me.

alright. lets start with the most commonly used argument.

calling mephone a child is ableist.

now i certainly agree that some children CAN act the way mephone does. however, i think it’s harmful when your ONLY argument as to why he is a child is ‘because he cant spell’ or ‘because he creates fantasy worlds in his brain as a means of escapism.’

I think the issue is, we are reducing these very real symptoms of mental disorders to ‘oh he’s just acting childish,’ instead of understanding them for what they are. autism and dyslexia are not cured the second you turn 18. it doesn’t work that way. giving in to the stereotype that only children can act this way… i dunno man. it really rubs me the wrong way.

i think it’d be better to view him as an adult with these symptoms because, well, VERY rarely do we ever get representation of an adult with mental disorders in media. at least not in a way that’s not villainizing them or mocking/infantilizing them. (sidebar, mephone IS NOT THE VILLAIN. he did bad things, yes, and should be held accountable for it, but he is NOT. THE VILLAIN. he is an abuse victim, and his way of acting is actually very good representation of the way abuse victims may go on to mimic actions of their abuser.) cobs (mephone’s abuser btw) LITERALLY infantilizes mephone IN CANON. IN THE SHOW. WHY ARE YOU LISTENING TO COBS. WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE COBS.

bro didnt go to school

i didnt know how to title this section. basically, people reducing him to a child because he doesn’t know adult things are MISSING THE POINT.

HE WAS RAISED BY COBS.

do you think cobs had ANY interest in teaching him ANYTHING about the real world? about how to be an adult? about how to ride a bike or pay taxes? NO. dude popped into existence knowing nothing except what Cobs WANTED him to know. he was meant to just work for Cobs and do tasks all the time and that was IT. OF COURSE his knowledge is going to be limited to what Cobs taught him. that DOES NOT make someone a child. GO REWATCH THE SHOWWWW.

suspend your disbelief for once in your life oh my god

i dont understand how people are able to suspend disbelief for LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE in fiction. such as murder/death, supernatural creatures, the universe itself as a whole, etc. but when it comes to age, the real world standards MUST be applied, no exception. Like since Mephone was canonically created 14 years ago in-universe that means he is 14 years old. we are completely ignoring the fact he is a fictional talking sentient phone robot for a minute.

and adding in the ‘he acts like a child’ argument for a second… season 1. what 1 year old do you know that can walk and talk and create an entire game show?? he has practically acted the EXACT SAME WAY his entire existence, therefore that argument falls completely flat.

it would be DIFFERENT if in-universe they had established rules, where this age means this and that age means that, but the ii universe DOES NOT HAVE THAT. meaning people are free to interpret age however they want. it would ALSO be different if mephone was canonically stated to be a child (we’re getting to that) OR portrayed to be childcoded. which…. he isn’t.

okay so by these rules all of the contestants are younger than mephone.

the agreement amongst child mephone believers seems to be ‘creation date = birth date = real age’. so bot is like 3 years old. the unvitationals are like 2. all the contestants are somewhere between like 4-14. but wait- some season 1 contestants ACT older or younger than the others? no. no theyre ALL 13-14 only. no exceptions. every newbie in season 3 is like 4-5. every newbie in season 2 is like 10. makes perfect sense.

do you understand how ridiculous that is. WE CANNOT , i repeat, CANNOT APPLY REAL WORLD STANDARDS TO A FICTIONAL UNIVERSE. oh my god. they are holograms. they are robots. they are in a weird plane floating in the vastness of space that has a picnic table that can generate food, and the ability to revive dead people, and ghosts and talking corn and. and all of THAT is fine. but god forbid someone interpret the talking phone as an adult. I DONT GET IT.

b-b-but cobs called mephone a child…

once again, common arguement. i strike thee down with a ‘MANIPULATION TACTIC.’ i feel like this has been covered enough and better in other mephone rambles so im not gonna get into it.

personal section

this is more of a personal experiences and opinions thing. less based on fact. agree or disagree idc this is just my experience.

once again, like i stated in the beginning, i see myself in mephone. a lot. I am an adult. i have autism. i have the tendency to act ‘childish’ sometimes due to my condition. im bad at being an adult. i struggle with tasks that are probably easy for other adults. i’m not a child. it’s very disheartening- i WANT to be viewed as an independent functioning adult, despite my condition, but when even a FICTIONAL PHONE who acts just like i do gets reduced to ‘child’ because he acts similarly to someone who’s mentally ill and has been abused. it HURTS MAN. he’s just trying his best:[

anyways conclusion

idc. you can headcanon whatever you want cause technically nothing is confirmed, but this is more food for thought for the people immediately jumping on the ‘child mephone’ bandwagon.

unless someone is canonically stated to be a child or is very heavily child coded, i don’t think its wrong for people to interpret them as an adult.

if sometime in the future mephone is canonically confirmed to be a child like. in universe. ill probably be disappointed.

i am a firm believer in age doesnt work the same way in ii as it does in our universe. theyre all fictional creatures. they were not created by conventional means. you dont have to apply our world’s standards to it.

anyways uhh. ramble over lol

[weirdmageddon]

some thoughts on dave lalonde

so note this isn’t a kidswap au, just a strilonde guardian swap au; a plausible au wherein dave’s meteor(s) are set to land in upstate new york and rose’s in houston tx where they are discovered by mom lalonde and bro strider respectively. so it’s not even really an “alternative universe” so much as “alternative circumstance” because that’s literally all that changes

their interests aren’t swapped; their interests are a natural result of a mix of what they were always predisposed towards (we can look at their post-scratch versions for constants) combined with their living environment. rose strider is still gothy and writes, knits, and has an interest in the zoologically dubious. perhaps rose might handcraft some delirious puppets for her brother-slash-ectofather’s enterprise as a “gift” in one-upmanship. probably has good rapport with the crows that fly into her ironic knockoff disney-princess themed bedroom (see the post i linked above) and get them to fuck with bro passively in exchange for peanuts. she also keeps all the things the crows gift her, pickpocketed shiny things and whatnot

dave lalonde is still the knight of time, still makes sbahj, likes photography, still loves cooking up unbelievably ill jams, still into post-ironic expression, however he’s not irony-poisoned by bro so he’s more comfortable being genuine. his interest in dead things and paleontology comes more to a forefront because of mom’s predilection towards science and genuine encouragement from her. after all she’s made many a mutant kitten herself

i feel like since dave fell to earth with maplehoof, crushing the pony instantly on impact, instead of using its hide to make a bib like a fucking weirdo, mom would paradox clone maplehoof. so dave has a pet pony with a ribbon and little pink heart on it. a knight needs a loyal steed. and hes been attached to maplehoof since his literal first few minutes of existing. so maplehoof wouldnt be bought anywhere, it would originate from itself

i mean he’s seen with the pony at his side in the post-scratch universe so…..

would make sense if the pony mom gifted to rose in canon was more of an involved thing with dave in this circumstance

the only issue is maplehoof cant become his sprite, otherwise that would break the timeloop (they need to come unaltered to earth with dave on the meteor in the first place during the reckoning). also [S] Ride with dave and the scarf would absolutely be a thing at some point

i was thinking maybe instead of a crow, since they aren’t as “everywhere” in upstate new york as they are in that high rise in texas, dave has something more prehistoric put into a sprite. like a parave theropod. can you imagine parave davesprite. maybe an archaeopteryx or something

i guess mom would indulge in a living museum/zoo for “domesticated” ancient organisms all jurassic parked like a weird ongoing experiment but the ectobiology wouldnt be perfect especially because the dna wouldnt be able to be fully read from fossils and specimens. i feel like jurassic park should be dave lalonde’s sort of in-universe media reference the way con air was with john and putting the bunny back in the box. like his friends would just rip on him for living out jurassic park in an imperfect domestic way

and he accidentally kills it through some fetch modus shenanigans. dave still has the bladekind strife specibus but not because he does rooftop battles but because swords are unironically cool, and flings it out the window by accident and it strikes one of the parave theropods in the enclosed zoo below outside his window and dave feels kinda bad

when jade sees it as his server player shes like “oh nooooo :(��� and dave is like “oh god no dont put that in the seizure kernel while i take a piss in one of the many fancy bathrooms this household has”

[routersims]

president mind situation my take AND WHY I WAS WRONGLY BANNED!!!! (and why you shouldnt hate me!) TW/CW: mentions of shipping (sorta) and nsfw (chonny jash

this gonna be a long wall of text just sayin.. but pleeaaase read im tired of people slandering my name when im not bad.

im way better than the people who got me banned i was literally a scapegoat bro.. cordial and corey and all them mfs are so weird but thats a whole different thing

OK!! FIRST: Addressing the things i was banned for.

i was banned for hms sex jokes and erp yea true there is literally proof of the sex jokes but they're nothing but jokes even ppl who are told of the incident laugh at the screenshots because its so obvious that i WAS KIDDING. and being banned for erp? with no proof? really? yeah whatever literally none of what i did wrong was in the rules. especially for out of server stuff YEAH. IT WAS OUTSIDE THE FUCKING SERVER… IT WAS ALL IN A PRIVATE GROUP CHAT AND SOMETIMES (RARELY) DMS. everyone in the group chat was completely and 100% fine with EVERYTHING happening! everyone had said so. (let me clarify: there was no out of server rules when we were banned, they added them so they can fucking control their server members over shit like this like bffr.) stuff in the rp wasnt supposed to make anyone uncomfortable or be serious in anyway when it came to sexual stuff, the rp itself actually existed outside of the groupchat with extensive lore but it wasn't really sexual at all. the rp was kept private SO PEOPLE WOULDNT BE UNCOMFORTABLE.. even so, it being private wasnt enough apparently because some little rats had to jump into a place they didnt belong and build a whole ass story off the shit I did wrong?? when i literally did NOTHING against the rules. sure you can be like "oohh you were sexualizing chonny jash" sure! hms were there but we never mentioned chonny himself. we treated all three of them like our own ocs and completely unaffiliated with him, we thought it was fucking weird to sexualize chonny in anyway. (soul wasnt sexualized and anyone else in the rp were just OCs).

i never meant to make anyone uncomfortable, I never meant to make chonny uncomfortable i never meant to do ANYTHING wrong. I didnt think i was doing anything wrong. I didnt do anything wrong by the rules. IT WAS ALL PRIVATE. it was all JOKES. other people (CORDIAL) literally make hms nsfw jokes (AND JUST NSFW) about HMS in PUBLIC and get less backlash than i did? like are you serious? what is this favoritism? what did i even do wrong against the rules or in general if we just fucking allow this stuff?

you all act like im a piece of shit and problematic for what I did. but, I wasnt sexualizing chonny jash. I wasnt making anyone uncomfortable. I wasnt being weird in public. I was just a stupid kid bro, I know what I did was wrong. I'm sorry if you want to hear. i havent erped or done anything sexual since that whole thing.. ESPECIALLY NOT WITH CHONNY JASH!!! i dont even rp HMS in general AT ALL and avoid it outside of my roblox group + youtube channel.

Seriously guys It's been a fucking year I'm tired of you dragging my name when you dont know the whole story. you only know the things said by sal and the people who got me banned and they're ALL FUCKING WEIRDER THAN ME.

they fucking ran into something that wasnt their business, they stole screenshots from a groupchat they werent even in and fucking plotted getting us banned for like a week or two? like how odd are you? cordial's weird. cordial did / does the same shit i did that got me banned BUT WORSE. cordial does even more weird shit I can't disclose because the person who came out to me asked me not to. i quite literally was a scapegoat for this fucking weirdos and im so tired of having my name dragged because of them.

now, Sal?? sals a fucking weirdo too. like how are you the owner of a fucking huge fan server and when your server member gets wrongfully banned you continuously TALK SHIT IN PUBLIC CHAT ABOUT THE WHOLE SITUATION? what kind of a fucking owner are you? you really sat there telling EVERYONE about the situation, dragging my name, and for what. because you were bored? you're a fucking adult and im a minor. need i bring up the weird shit you say in general chat too? i remember seeing you saying weird shit about a server member wearing a collar. fucking creep. now lets talk about the other admins!

who are you—fucking adults when the whole situation was with minros—to ban us out of fucking no where when it wasnt against the rules and private. then fucking drag our names with it. YOU ARE ADULTS. WE ARE KIDS. WE WERE DUMB KIDS. mind your fucking business instead of making it a whole big deal and making everyone hate us for over a fucking year.

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO STRESS THIS? WE. WERE. DUMB. KIDS. I'M SORRY! I AM. If i made you uncomfortable, tell me! i will personally respond and give you a fucking apology and im 100% serious bro just stop treating me like im a fucking monster.

all I ever wanted to fucking do was make you people laugh and have fun with you then you fucking get me banned and drag my name and call me problematic when the shit i did WASNT EVEN BAD.

i dont care, if you forgive me i'll forgive you and we can forget everything but you have to fucking see my side of the story. you have to look me in the eyes and understand where im coming from; if you're even willing. i dont hate any of you, I still love the community (maybe not chonny jash as much just because I still feel guilty..) and I just wish I could come back and be accepted for the funny gal I once was known as.

I didnt know I was doing anything wrong, not until I was fucking banned out of the blue without being asked my side of the story. until I got that banned message with no context, without a fucking explanation without ANY reasoning or reaching out to me. suddenly everyone I loved in the server where I met all of my friends hated me and thought I was problematic?? i was so fucking sad and confused and nobody gave a SHIT about me.

ur server died and sucks since u banned me btw should've minded your FUCKING BUSINESS. but thats besides the point,

you mods suck. the people who got me banned, suck. the people who slander my name when you dont understand, SUCK!!! and im sorry. im sorry for everything, im sorry for making you uncomfortable and upset, even if I was wronged. I dont know how many times I have to say it or beg to be understood or how many CJ fans I have to re-meet and tell me im really cool and didnt deserve what happened until you actually fucking understand and let me back in, because Im not a piece of shit! im probably the nicest person you'll ever meet, if you even fucking bother to meet me.

i forgive you, please just forgive me and recognize the fact that i aint a monster or problematic.. im just a stupid kid who didnt mean to do any wrong and ive grown since then.

I'll clear up one more thing, because as you know I'm dating mortis (THE MORTIS) and shes a lot more problematic than me:

mortis does her own things and when we started dating she didnt act like this and I know there's kindness in her thats why I dont leave her for her actions. I dont support all the stuff she does, not at all. I'm afraid to talk to her about it (hi mortis you're definitely reading this!) I love her, even though she does the stuff she does.

I'm pro-Palestine, and I love and support everyone regardless if I know you or not. in order to function, we have to all see eachother eye-to-eye. I don't think any of you are insane, or "mentally ill freaks", I love everyone. except you cordial fuck you but I do love everyone else. even if I have a differing opinion, or think a certain way about you or your behavior, I'm not gonna hate on you or go out of my way to bully you like she does and I apologize on her behalf for the things she has said.

separate me from her actions please, I love her and I could never bring myself to leave her unless she actually does physically hurt someone or do something else insanely bad (p.s. shes also pro-palestine she just um is weird about it. clearing that up)

I like chonny jash still (mostly CCCC), I like the community still, I love my girlfriend, I love everyone and I just want to make everyone happy and smile so please stop dragging my fucking name. I. AM. SORRYYY!!! I have so many people that can vouch for me in the community and outside of it, please for once just listen to me and them.

sorry for bad grammar/formatting and repeating myself I'm really trying to get my point across here and just thinking as I type.. (no this is not president mind returning, he wont ever be this is just routersims here and im trying to get people to like me again, maybe!!! maybe even unban me!!!!!!!! im fucking innocent!!!!!)

yea thats about it guys

as for anything with mortis, we have since broken up and i dont want to go back and edit that right now so yeah, its a whole separate thing and i dont wanna talk about it

ok bye

ps. adding chonny jash tag cuz my friends are telling me to, im not trying to get chonny to see it.. just adding this little note!

[coffeegnomee]

It fascinates me that in this entire conflict with Flame we have this battle between c and cc mindsets and motivations that are so interconnected that the story only exists through the blend of both. 

MAPICC: “I don't care bro. He can't just get away with anything he wants to because he’s Flamefrags. I actually don't care” 

It is so cool how it’s BOTH:

“the villain of the server can’t just get away with anything he wants because he’s the villain” 

AND 

“Flamefrags the person can’t just get away with anything he wants because he’s Flame” 

One is a fully justifiable, and even honorable, story motive: to stop the evil rampage of the evil villain, 

the other is a respect and learning moment for a real person to learn that you have to work with others and not steamroll because you think you have the right to whatever your idea is. 

It is so fully both of that at the same time. 

Flame does it too, he met the story as a story; he said specifically to Zam in DM’s that he’s leaning into a character with blowing up spawn. 

But then when it comes down to it, it’s his video and he just wants to make it, and he's willing to hold the whole server hostage to do so.

He takes both to be true, though he disagrees that the second reason is any justification to oppose him, which is the whole point to what Mapicc is doing. Mapicc is trying to teach him that his actions have consequences and you have to embrace them WHILE doing your video, not separate your video from your actions.  

And that, on a greater level, lifesteal is never about just you, it’s about who you team with and about the server as a whole. Every interaction matters. 

And Mapicc fully embraces that actions have consequences and that he’s going to get shit for blowing things up because now people can say of him, “Mapicc can’t just get away with anything he wants because he’s Mapicc”. He thinks he's in the right, and flame deserved it, but as they walk around the destroyed castle he reflects saying, “yea and then when I cancel the duel I’m the dickhead. Well I mean, no what I did-” and doesn't finish the thought. But he gets it.

And THAT’S what makes lifesteal so interesting.

It’s not just an unscripted story, it’s other people continuing their lore during your lore, because of your lore, which messes everything up and doesn't lead to perfect stories being told. 

It’s a never-ending, ever-building conglomeration of difficult stories, real stories, actual shit going down, and pushing thorough it anyway. In a word: Resiliency. 

---

And then suddenly it’s not EITHER of those two above options, resiliency is necessary as the dual conflict of above boils over into a story about self worth and communication. Not about a video, not about a villain arc, the barriers of character break down, the story of the server which was once wrapped up in the easy rebuttal “It’s minecraft not real life” starts to crumble and suddenly it feels all too much like a real life problem stuck within the veneer of a character, forced to play out because it is in the context of a game, unable to be resolved until the person himself battles against his inner self.

And our villain is stuck under the thumb of someone else, despondent, weary, and just wanting to give up. Anything to end this endless agony that boiled from one mistake, one weak moment in listening to the devil on his shoulder, and has now brought real sorrow and massive stress. 

He talks of Wemmbu having leverage against him, a mysterious hold that keeps Flame from having any leverage in return. What looked like one type of character has boiled into something far more 3dimensional. 

And suddenly I’m getting flashbacks to the greatest story lifesteal has ever told. 

---

FLAME: “How can I control another man’s decision that like, he just logs on and starts blowing stuff up. Bro. what can I do” 

ZAM: “well, [laughs] telling him that’s he’s griefing your video! Tell him that he’s griefing your video! It’s so obvious!”

FLAME:” he wont give a fuck!” 

ZAM: “HOW? He obviously cares. He obviously cares” 

FLAME: “he does not give a fuck bro” 

ZAM: “You can just talk to your teammates, did you know you can just communicate with them? That is something that you can do that we cannot.”

[…] FLAME: “its not that easy” 

ZAM: “but it should be. It should be, Flame” 

------

ZAM: “they’ve been going against your motives this entire time? How is that not betraying? How is that any different?” 

FLAME: “bro they have leverage bro” 

[…] ZAM: “flame the way you’ve described this is that you’re being betrayed constantly by your teammates, your teammates are constantly going against you, always. And now you’re like scared of them as well, […] The way I see it is you’re having a communication problem, I don't know” 

FLAME: “I can’t do anything with somebody else’s problems” 

ZAM: “but it’s not someone else’s problem. It’s your problem […] you teammates are being terrible to you, your teammates are mistreating you” 

----

FLAME: “where the hell am I going? There’s nobody left that’s gonna want me on their team. And that's my fault” 

ZAM: “that’s not necessarily true. You just have to look […] you don't have to betray them, you could just leave the team on good terms”  

FLAME: “that doesn’t exist” 

ZAM: “[conceding] fair”

---

FLAME: “okay tell me what- in this scenario, put yourself in my shoes.” 

oh he’s BEEN there. He has been there. Don’t worry Flame. 

Standing up to your purple teammate is never easy. Especially when you’re so attached to the third teammate in the group. Hopefully Zam and Pangi can give helpful enough advice, but then again did Planet and Bacon and Branzy’s advice give the best conclusion to that relationship? Was communication possible or was the only possible response upholding a boundary and leaving to show how serious he takes it? Putting his foot down and standing up for himself? Is it possible to do that without breaking apart the team while still being serious about what is going on? 

And then there’s Mane saying “flame said that?” “Dumbass flame :sob:” “we already said we’d stop after he asked LMFAO” 

Where this will lend up, I don’t know. But this is the most interesting lore lifesteal has had in such a long time. I’m getting so many flashbacks to how it felt to watch s4 and I couldn’t be happier. 

[twilight-skies]

A copy of my liveblog on discord through the entire DSMP portion of Jack’s stream. If you can’t watch it, this give you the gist, and every piece of lore.

Okay I’m ready

Jacks getting himself into lore mode

“Wiki updaters get ready. Play some jump in the cadillac”

Surreal

Okay he just got distracted by a tweet apparently rosanna pansino is siccing the FBI on mr beast

It’s happening

HES IN PANDORAS VAULT

elder guardian jumpscare

My god the last time I saw this room technoblade was streaming

Disclaimer I was not interested at all in jacks pov so I will not be understanding any references to his own lore. Manishroom. Appears to hold emotional weight

“Wonder where all my friends are (opens tab) ……..oh. Guess I’m here alone.”

“Legitimately emotional. God this is so fuckin’ stupid bro…..I actually got sad. Toby gave me this mushroom on [my] very first day [on the server]”

Calls joining the dsmp as the beginning of the career he has now (affectionately)

Does not know how he got in this prison or how to get out. Trying to remember Sam’s secrets /hj

HES CALLING TOMMY OJ THE PHONE FOR HELP. Tommy is in the bathroom

The phone at the mic. We’re truly back

Jack lost a bet to Tubbo (You Laugh, You Loose) and that’s why he’s on the server now

Surprised that it survives intact to this day. “So I’m actually uh. Trapped in the prison. And I think [Tommy] had OP— not to spoil the illusion”

Tommy never sucked up enough for OP. He was a true bad boy

“Fuck me, man” -Tommy realizing he’s gotta log on to the dsmp

“It’s like looking a dead child in the eyes” -tommy

“Yeah I expected to laugh at that dead child! And now here I am feeling real remorse” -jack

“Oh, christ…….” -tommy getting on

Jack very nearly leaked the dream smp IP in the year of our lord 2024

Tommy was in fact getting ready for bed and has been thrust back into the horrors of his OC

I can’t tell if this horrid audio lag is legit or intentional for lore. The dsmp streamers have returned to gaslighting— oh no it’s legit he’s trying to fix it lmao

Tommy does not have OP on the dsmp but Toby does

Jack is ringing toby

Toby is not picking up

Near leak number 2

TUBBO ACQUIRED

Toby is coming

The DSMP remains a viewer spawnrate hack

The prison has been broken for ages

TUBBO ONLINE

“Everyone’s logging on to break me outta the prison. I gotta put on my lore music”

He has initiated his lore music

Toby is experiencing technical difficulties

Best lore stream ever

Discussing the ending. Mixed feelings on it

This server is so laggy

It will not let Tubbo in

Jack is mortified at pinging the DSMP discord server. However he is threatening to dm badboyhalo to get out of this place

TUBBO LOST HIS OP

toby has departed.

Bad is busy. Jack is dming a secret server operator guy that he hasn’t talked to in years

“We can at this point only pray”

“Get Phil do it” -chat

Jack is refusing. I would die. WAIT HE IS

SECRET GUY PULLED THROUGH

HE HAS BEEN TELEPORTED

WE ARE BACK

Man. The random messes in the sky…..

“IT WAS COOL?!” Jack seeing Las Nevadas

The lag is insane

I’m not being dramatic this is literally the first time I’ve ever seen the inside of the casino

Tommy has rejoined

I think they’re entering lore mode

It’s begun

Jack has canonically been alone at the casino this entire time

“We can make it canon that I’ve been here the whole time” -jack

“Chat, L’Manburg doesn’t exist anymore. We can’t go back there. Now let’s win big” -jack

He has semi broken the roulette wheel. He freaks out, like man who’s lived his life in solitude at that table for years. He walks outside. He gasps,

“Is that…t-t-t-tommy?” -c!jack

c!tommy has arrived.

c!tommy is asking “seriously, what happened”

c!jack is having him fix the wheel

All Jack cares about is the wheel. You can practically hear Tommy. They (characters) are back

He’s following tommy somewhere

“I have a house. It’s nice.” -c!tommy

c!Jack knows he could just take the money but he’s been surviving off the thrill of gambling

c!Tommy moved far away from the central zone. Brings back too much. Feels unreal seeing it again

“Joy, fun, sadness, pain, too much of it all” -c!tommy

They’re approaching the community house.

Oh my god

Are they going where I think they’re going

I know this path

I’m going to explode. Jack doesn’t know where they are

c!tommy doesn’t live here

“No. Oh god, no” - c!tommy at the idea of living here

HE COMES HERE A LOT THOUGH

Sidenote what’s crazy is the server remaining intact yet abandoned and tommy just living here in peace, with everyone just gone and jack being surprised to see him here, fits perfectly with my own headcanon of what happened to the group in the end

c!Jack jokes about buying c!techno’s house. Is told it’s techno’s house. Immediately, comedically, backtracks

c!Technoblade doesn’t even live here but c!jack knows to still put respect on that man’s name

He calls techno living here ‘cultural significance’ this is hilarious from a character pov

he looked at the compound and types “o7”

tommy just sure here outside the fence and sits here “as long as he needs to. Sometimes minutes, sometimes hours”

This is making me ill in every context including that of my headcanons

It appears tommy was for retconning the nuke but jack would rather keep it

Jack’s officially called it the epilogue

The nether……

Hes realized his mistake of sprinting on the prime path. Everyones subbing

Bench spotted

SNOWCHESTER.

Reminiscing in his old house

Looked through the nuke lab. Chat is screaming because he didn’t check on Micheal (guys he’s with his honey-vendor dad of course)

Walking through the battlefield of the prison escape. Like he’s trying to murder me

………

Disregard that. Death begins now.

“There it is! The first place I was a part of. Then technoblade nuked it”

“And now I’m here. And this is the ruin.”

To paraphrase: he really came here expecting to make fun; he’s thought of the smp as something behind him, and it is. He came here to have a laugh but it’s…nice. This arc is finally, fully closed. He is planting the Manishroom, the one thing he’s maintained since day 1, in his original L’Manburg house.

“God just— picking through ruins to make this. So…poetic”

“Not even a lore-bit, this just feels like a nice way to close it out. That feels important to me. Thank you for being here,”

“I always felt like part of the [dsmp] group. Now I feel like my own guy. Really is a new arc”

“I didn’t like letting go of the mushroom. Felt like I wanted to cling on to it forever. But I feel like this was the right thing to do.”

Some more personal reminiscing at the end

Returning to the roulette wheel at Las Nevadas; c!Jack Manifold’s final resting place. Getting that big win; all in on red!

[mayabunny23]

Cringe ass Headcanons about the Don't Starve Together Gang's gender and sexuality

Wilson - Aroace He cares more about science and being a smart ass than he does romance or sex.

Willow - Lesbian She seems like the type of girl that scares men away on purpose... Gremlin woman.

Wolfgang - Aroace He would rather settle down with a friend than a lover. The man also sees most of the people in the group as friends.

Wendy - Aroace She is a kid but even if she was an adult, her grief for her sister is stronger than any love for someone (be is romantic or what not)

WX-78 - Non-binary & Aroace They are canonically non-binary so the obvious is obvious. They don't feel romantic feelings but they can feel many other forms of love... they are not truly emotionless.

Wickerbottom - Asexual Biromantic She wouldn't mind a partner to help her at her library but she might not go with any of the people here... except maybe Wanda.

Woodie - Pansexual More like axe-sexual... Wait wouldn't that make every ship with him a polycule? He loves Lucy but if he was to love someone that wasn't a talking axe, he wouldn't care what gender they are.

Wes - Demiboy & Asexual Wes feels like the type to be referred to with he / them... Be it because of the character he plays or because that's what they refers to themself as.

Maxwell - Bisexual "I miss my wife, Wilson... I miss her a lot... I'll be back." he swings both ways but uh... who wants this pathetic man outside of Charlie?

Wigfrid - Demigirl & Bisexual This queen of theater (Sorry Charlie) uses she / them much the same way Wes does... that and she is just cool like that. Oh and she likes people.

Webber - Demiboy & Aroace His reasoning for being demiboy is because he is literally two beings and the spider is a they / it... also same thing as Wendy, his fixation on bugs and critters is stronger than dumb romantic love. (If he was like an adult)

Winona - Butch [Lesbian] Obvious thing is obvious, she has a girlfriend back on Earth that thinks she's dead. Also like look at her, she is straight up very butch leaning.

Warly - Gay The other side of the spectrum, Warly is probably gay... Totally not because Waokevale and another person influenced me with Warly x Woodie...

Wortox - Aroace Mortal concepts as "love" and "sex" doesn't interest this imp, he is only after chaos and fun.... Also Wortox gives zero DAMNs what pronouns you use on Wortox.

Wormwood - Non-Binary & Aroace The lad doesn't know or really feel that type of stuff [And it's not because he is a "kid", he is an adult.], Wormwood only uses he / him pronouns on himself because they sound nice but he doesn't mind any pronouns really.

Wurt - Aroace Wurt is a kid and she's more focus on creating a merm kingdom and learning to really care.

Walter - Aroace Kid doesn't care about romance but probably had a crush at some point.

Wanda - Asexual Lesbian Wanda doesn't have time to have sex with your mother, she is trying not to turn into dust.

Wonkey - Literally not even a real character.

If you scrolled down this far or read this, thanks! this is probably hell to read for people with like... reading issues (I have some form of it, don't worry)

I might do the DLC characters from Don't Starve next but uh... maybe never, just need to remember they exist.

ALSO!!!!!!! If none of the headcanons suit you then be happy knowing they are HEADcanons and are not real...

ALSO Also... sorry for no art bros, been doodling ocs shit for discord server and no one would be interested in that.

[doom-gender]

Amy looked at the website with confused apprehension. "ApeFist.net" it was called, the design looking straight out of the early 2000s; a simple gif of a starry night sky repeated ad nauseum forms the whole of the background page. "I thought Geocities died?" she thought.

At the fore of the webpage there was a small box for text input with the words "Make your Wish" sitting above it.

At first Amy laughed at it. The link had been spammed by some raider on her favorite trans support discord; it was stupid to even click on it, but she was compelled to check what it was in hopes that it was some kind of NFT scam - she loved making fun of NFT bros and so did most of the server.

She didn't really believe in wishes either, certainly not those given out by a webpage less modern than Craigslist. However that does not mean she had nothing to wish for. Amy's transition was a lifesaver, but her personal results are much less than she was hoping for. She started at age 19 and now at age 24 she's worried that the bulk of her transition is over. Her tiny mosquito bite tits can barely fit an A cup and her hips are practically non-existant - this combined with a general lack of confidence keeps her from being very confidant in her personal style.

After a couple minutes of consideration, she shrugs her shoulders and types into the box.

> I wish I had the body of a thick goth girl with big boobs.

She hit enter and immediately felt silly, she basically just fell for an equivalent of chain mail.

That was before the burning started.

A fire erupted in Amy's chest as she keeled over into the fetal position. Her chest began inflating outwards, settling at two jiggly mounds that were about the size of basketballs. Her stomach grew outwards with a healthy layer of fat as her hips and ass ballooned, giving her that super thick hourglass figure. Her skin prickled as it slowly lightened to a near pale white, her hair itched as it turned into a stylish black bob, and her clothes melted into a simple all black outfit.

When the pain subsided, she took stock of her body; grabbing at her curves and pawing at her crotch to realize her little e-dick had even turned into a pussy. She looked back to the computer to see not the wishing website but... a webcam software? Why was that...

She immediately became drowsy, the late golden hours of the sun shining through the window as it fades ever closer to nightfall. She passes out onto the couch.

---

Amy awoke to the sound of... Moaning? She was sitting up now in what felt like a desk chair. When she opened her eyes she could see through the groggy glaze a computer screen with... herself on it. Her new, goth self at least.

She was squeezing her tits and moaning provacatively into the camera - Amy could see the name at the bottom of the stream: "bigtiddygothgf".

As she came more and more to her senses she expected to feel what her body was doing on the stream, but as she became more intune with her body she became aware of a different stimulation. A hand wrapped around her cock.

She looked down, the messy contents of the desk flashing by her view before it settles on her body. A hairy man's body with a much bigger cock than she'd ever had before. She wanted to freak out, to scream, but all she could let out was a loud grunt as her hand continued to mercilessly jack off her huge, hard, manly cock.

She saw the username next to the chat input textbox: "FatBalls88". 88? Was she a 35 year old man now? The thought died as the stroke of her hand passed the head of her cock once more, matched by the perfect bouncing of the goth girl's tits on the screen.

"Fuck... So hot..."

She didn't say that! Or... did he? She was slowly losing context for why she was here, memories of her life as Amy, her job, the struggles of her transition, the events just preceding these, all began to be replaced with "Adam". Adam is a 35 year old self proclaimed "deadbeat"; in truth he's not doing that bad, he's got a fine apartment, a good job, and he keeps in reasonable shape. What he does not have is a girlfriend, explaining his semi-excessive spending on cam girls.

Amy fought back against these thoughs. "I could use a beer, that would help." She thought before realizing that was more of Adam consuming her. Amy was being deleted from all sides and shlacked over with Adam as s-s-- he came ever closer to cumming.

*click*

"Oh! Thanks for another donation FB! You're my favorite viewer." the girl smooched out at the camera while jiggling her massive tits with her hands.

Adam exploded, his eyes rolled back into his head as white hot cum splattered the bottom of his desk. His chair creaks with strain as his limp body leans further and further backwards. The absolute destruction of whatever remained of Amy and the sudden influx of everything that was Adam left the man dazed for quite awhile only to gain awareness of a ticking sound from the stream.

A spinning wheel full of the names of everyone who donated this stream stuck in front of the visage of "bigtiddygothgf". Adam grunted primally, angry that he could no longer ogle the tits, until...

"Omg FB congrats! Y'know you're my best supporter I think you deserve it the most. DM me and we'll see where we can meet up!"

Adam shook off his lusthaze and remembered: the promise of this stream was that each $1 donated gave you a chance to meet up with the goth cam girl and fuck her live on her next show.

Knocking trash and old beer bottles to the floor he rushed to attention at his keyboard and slid into her dms to set a date.

"Finally," he thought "I'll have that body all for myself..."

[homestuckreplay]

Rare and Highly Dangerous 5x Cliffhanger Combo

(page 756-758)

cliffhanger [n.] a suspenseful situation occurring at the end of a chapter, scene, or episode.

I was absolutely awestruck by this animation. I watched it three times in a row immediately just taking in WV's journey, like a whole road trip movie condensed into two and a half minutes, before I even thought about taking any notes or screenshots. I definitely need more time to process my thoughts on what's happened, so this is just the events of the flash, and current status of the characters.

[S] WV: Ascend summary

[New and very good music track 'Explore' by Buzinkai and Michael Guy Bowman plays]

→ Recap of p.248 (first Years in the future…) → WV emerges from bunker, sees Zazzerpan’s hand and orb → WV’s bunker takes off like a rocket, rises then travels west across the entire ruined US. It's a white cylinder with the green Sburb house logo printed on the side. → Recap of p.246 ([S] John: Take bite of apple), John’s neighborhood becomes a wasteland, tree grows, ‘apple’ bunker drops from tree → Recap of p.723 (the Peregrine Mendicant) → WV gazes down, PM gazes up → Years in the past (many), a meteor flies through a Skaian gate, hits dry earth that is now the Pacific Ocean → A volcano fills the crater with lava. When it dries, a tower is built, depicting seven ascending Skaian gates with a sweet frog on top, and four orb-topped pillars circling this tower. → I love this frog. → The land becomes a small island in the ocean as the tower ages, and a raptor flies above. → Rose curses the burnt out generator, and narrowly dodges a falling, flaming tree → Rose’s mom looks at the nearby lab from the window, types passcode ‘413’ into a keypad, opening a secret tunnel beneath Jaspers’ mausoleum → In a purple castle (likely on the Ominous Planet), Dad is handcuffed and followed by two imps. He breaks loose, and attacks with a cake and Barbasol in typical dad fashion. → Dave and his bro prepare to swordfight. We see Bro’s true form (not just silhouette) for the first time. He looks like a total dickhead. The fire shines in his glasses, just as we’ve seen it do in Dave’s. → In WV’s time, the Pacific has dried up once more. The cylindrical bunker touches down just as its fuel runs out. → WV gazes up at the ancient frog → We see a simple white spirograph.

Status of our existing characters

Wayward Vagabond - Last seen on p.755, falling back down the bunker's ladder as the timer countdown reaches 0. Now halfway across the world, possibly in GG's former home, in a different yet almost as desolate wasteland as before.

Dave Strider - Last seen on p.665, ascending to the blisteringly hot rooftop where his bro had ordered him to come. Now staring down said bro (and Cal), both of them wielding swords, looking ready to fight.

Rose Lalonde - Last seen on p.650, facepalming x2 as her plan to get John a server disc had failed and her generator had burned out. Now outside in the forest fire, with a secret tunnel open to her that may lead to the mysterious lab near her house.

Dad - Last seen on p.421, attempting to fend off imps with a broom in his kitchen. Now attempting to fend off imps with cake and shaving cream in their home territory. Kidnapped but putting up a good fight.

John Egbert - Last seen on p.663, preparing to battle two Crude Ogres on the platform Rose has built above his house. Does not appear in EOA2. I sure hope he's okay.

Which is all to say, I think the 5x cliffhanger combo was successfully achieved, even if those cliffhangers look a little different to how they did a few minutes ago.

[vodkassassin]

bro i'm bored too so this is perfect (btw this is muffin from the spleenectomy server i just have a different tumblr name)

i recently took a break from banging tim drake around my brain like a tennis ball machine in a glass cage bc i was visiting family but now i am back home and back on my bullshit

IMAGINE: after reversing joker junior on tim, he gets amnesia and is taken in by harley, who at this point has realized that the whole situation with joker and junior was horrible. she's also not mentally stable enough to take care of a whole ass child, since she has no idea who this kid used to be before the brainwashing, so she calls in a couple favors and soon enough, tim is getting passed around in a weird custody arrangement by the whole gotham rogues gallery

meanwhile, bruce is shutting down from grief since he thinks that tim killed joker then himself. jason comes back to a broken father he honestly has no idea how to deal with. the green haze of the lazarus doesn't accept a batman who solemnly takes any accusation jason throws at him like he deserves it. the family heals slowly but surely, and eventually damian joins hearing stories about his predecessor, a kind and bright boy taken from them too soon

tim? is living it up with more parental figures than he can count on both hands, learning the tricks of the trade and finally letting his mastermind brain extend to areas he previously ignored. raising a child brought together the rogues in a way never seen before, and any genuine animosity between them has turned into rivalries at the worst. tim still retains his strong moral compass, and while he doesn't approve of his aunts' and uncles' illegal activities, he'll still bail them out after an attack gone wrong

eventually, whispers of his existence spread around to lower level goons and make their way to red hood's ear. something something the bats have to confront the fact that tim, even without his memories, seems happier and healthier surrounded by career criminals than he's ever been with them

and what does that mean about how they've treated him?

OUCHIE muffin you hurt me heart…. Do it again.

Jason meanwhile is like “damn y’all fucked up didnt you” bc he never met Tim. He’s also vaguely rougue-shaped at this point so he gets to enjoy spoiling his younger bro and rubbing it in his family’s faces.

Damian, who also never met a Tim before now, also gets along with him like a house on fire. They play murder-tag across the rooftops sometimes when he’s on patrol. No real murder, ofc, that’s just what they call it. Super safe dw.

Bruce and Dick are jealous as FUCK but they’re also too caught up in their grief and guilt complexes that they have yet to get over their bullshit about the entire thing

[saiintvalentiine]

I’ve watched Mianite so many times it’s my comfort series of all time, Ianite my love.. also yeah they would SUCK as champions. Also Ianite Wifies makes sense to me just because a huge part of Ianite (at least to me) is loyalty to people and (sometimes) a cause. Idk Wifies complete devotion to Parrot gives me Ianite vibes

I actually haven't watched all of Mianite in a long long time I should do that at some point.......

the three worst fuckin champions you've ever seen. they're all too busy committing homosexual activity to actually do the shit their gods want them to. UU POV characters you are all such boyfailures god bless.

aside from me huffing copium, I do actually have some reasoning as to why Wifies would be an Ianitee. His loyalty is in fact so Ianitee to me; he's as bad as Jordan, who insisted that Ianite existed so fucking hard he dragged her from death. Like Wifies would absolutely be capable of such a thing. But also I think that Wifies does a really good job of balancing others. Whoever he's working with, he manages to fit well and counterbalance— he can be the brains, and he usually is (look at that server bro they're so doomed) but in the KWW Collab he also balances well off of Ken as being the right kind of clueless and playful. He has an ability to not exactly energy match, but energy balance whatever team he's on.

and this next bit is a Saiint™ interpretation of his character so YMMV but I do think that if he wasn't specifically running with Parrot he'd have a Justice streak. Wifies may be his moral compass, but Parrot does have a strong sense of justice, and I think he even takes it too far at times and Wifies desperately tries to counter balance it. But if Wifies were running with Spoke or Wemmbu, I think he'd be more Justice oriented— and with characters that are more passive and weak, I think he'd even be Vengeance oriented. Even when he's being Evil™ in the maze video, it's for a "balance" reason— ensuring the survival of more people by ridding weak links. too many poor players unbalances the team. but once again YMMV that's just how I'm running with it

[reinahwanggg]

I Met You At Sunrise • Masterlist

•pairing college student!beomgyu x fem!college student!reader

•genre college!au, strangers to friends to lovers, summer fling!au, vacation!au, socmed (probably will have written parts since i love to describe stuff) fluff, angst (maybe idk yet)

•synopsis beomgyu believes in soulmates (sue him), and when he was about eight years old, he had a dream that he was older, and his hand was intertwined with a beautiful person's own as they waited for the sunrise, very much in love. ever since, he's been desperate to go on vacation to the caribbean and find his "forever". and his chance comes in the form of two menaces graduating high school, and yoon keeho tweeting about being caribbean bound.

or.

beomgyu's kinda delusional, but that won't stop him from meeting the woman of his dreams (literally).

•warnings obscenities (in like the first few chapters cause i wrote it in october when i cussed like a sailor), friends that "bully" each other, "kys" "kms" "ch*ke" jokes, an obscure amount of mentions of food (because y/n works as a server at a restaurant), light mode (just in case you hate it)

•featuring TXT, Enhypen, KEEHO of P1Harmony, YUNJIN of Le Sserafim, and an original character (or several. idk yet lol. more kpop artists might make an appearance)

•status ON HOLD

•schedule whenever i can

•start date 2023.06.15

•end date TBA

•taglist ✨OPEN!✨ to be added, please fill out this form , send an ask, or comment under this masterlist!

•disclaimer this is the work of FICTION! all thoughts, deeds, actions and sequence of events that will be typed out and written here are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES only. it doesn't reflect any of these characters nor does it reflect how i see them. i am making this for fun and for people to read. which means, don't take this seriously, thanks.

PROFILES >

daily dose of slay || beomgyu and the soulmate hate club || jay and his six deranged kids

CHAPTERS >

CHAPTER 1 • Do It No Balls

↳CHAPTER 1.5 • Out for a Vengeance

CHAPTER 2 • Feeding His Soulmate Agenda

CHAPTER 3 • ALWAYS CRY BROKE 1.1k words (smau + written)

CHAPTER 4 • the triangle stuff

CHAPTER 5 • shocking

CHAPTER 6 • so this is pain mmhmm mmhmm

CHAPTER 7 • finals shouldn't exist

CHAPTER 8 • when in doubt; rich people

CHAPTER 9 • jay 🔛🔝 807 words (smau + written)

CHAPTER 10• frickin hermit crab

↳CHAPTER 10.5 • enjoy your flight

CHAPTER 11 • *gasp* nepotism

CHAPTER 12 • your future gf , why ?

CHAPTER 13 • walking around eggshells

CHAPTER 14 • #finalsshouldntEXIST

CHAPTER 15 • i can take you right now

CHAPTER 16 • EXTREMELY COMMON YUNJIN W

CHAPTER 17 • that’s embarrassing 917 words (written)

CHAPTER 18 •

CHAPTER 19 •

CHAPTER 20•

CHAPTER 21 •

CHAPTER 22 •

CHAPTER 23 •

CHAPTER 24 •

CHAPTER 25 •

CHAPTER 26 •

CHAPTER 27 •

CHAPTER 28 •

CHAPTER 29 •

CHAPTER 30 •

...more to be added : chapter names are also subject to change ...

BONUS >

•Director’s Cut 1 (can be read between ch.1.5 & ch.2)

• Gia and Steph (can be read between ch.3 & ch.4)

• Do I Have a Chance ? (can be read between ch.3 & ch.4)

•

2023 © reinahwanggg ... don't copy me and steal my work please ! socmed writers and writers in general work very hard to do stuff like this, and stealing their work is inhuman bro. all credit to whatever happens in this plot is reserved to ME!

[doggendoodle]

It's especially interested how bad the Minecraft movie feels when you compare it to other video game movies nowadays.

Like. For example, the Mario movie in concept was simple. Adapt the basic structure of what a Mario platformer is (person gets kidnapped and Mario saves them) with Mario's alternate backstory of being from Brooklyn as an excuse to make him an easier viewpoint character. And Super Mario is THE video game franchise so it's an easy money grab.

Except they didn't make an easy money grab. They made a kid's movie that respected the kids who play the games, they made references to the games and incorporated them into the movie in a way that enhanced the story, and they did this while still understanding the spirit of the franchise.

Mario and DK being rivals but still coming together to fight a greater evil. The Bros.' relationship being the emotional core of the movie. Bowser being portrayed perfectly as a goofy yet still threatening villain. They even incorporated Mario Kart into the story without it feeling tacked on. They took the world of Mario seriously and treated it with respect - they made a world that's goofy and charming but still lived-in, without making it edgy or "realistic" just to "appeal" to adults.

Most people apologising to Minecraft Story Mode are probably doing it as a joke, but like. They already understood this and worked through it. Even in the first game which features a grand adventure, the adventurers are people from the world of Minecraft, and the epic invasion was a horror unleashed by accident, like the Wither it's based on.

Later episodes and seasons play more into the inherent fantastical elements of Minecraft, with the Far Lands and the End as eldritch, alien places. They also reference the community aspects of Minecraft: power-hungry server admins, fan-created games like Spleef, fantastical redstone contraptions, even the Minecraft YouTuber murder mystery.

And even being a movie instead of an episodic game isn't an automatic death sentence - hell, if you really wanted to stick to the base game of Minecraft, you could showcase the joy of exploration that is a much more common and more core experience than big epic boss fights.

That moment in the trailer, where there's a log floating in the broken tree and the boy reaches out for it? The one at the start where they're looking around at the world and the camera lets us see the surroundings? Those are great moments, because that's how it feels to play Minecraft. I've seen and heard kids play the game, I know that's still how they experience it. If you're going to make it into an epic, make it into an epic journey and show off the world. The vistas we've seen do genuinely look gorgeous, like someone transplanted

Even the visual design plays into this. The weirdly realistic mobs Detective Pikachu/Sonic style do not work. Detective Pikachu still looks uncanny to me, but the world of Pokémon is meant to be similar to the human world, and Pokémon are meant to be animals. The world of Sonic is Earth, and the redone design for Sonic and the other animal characters is beautiful; it really does feel like Sonic exists in a world overlaid on ours, more fantastical but still in reach.

The Minecraft movie trying to have its blocky cake and eat it too just feels like a shoddy compromise. The wolf howling at the moon doesn't look epic or awe-inspiring, it looks bad - in fact it's not even on model. They deliberately made it look blockier, for some reason. The invading piglins have realistic armour, and clothes, but their bodies are desperately trying to fit the voxel shapes and it all feels at odds. And of course the pink sheep and llama look god awful.

Combined with the human characters being Regular Humans, it feels more like some random friend group making a home movie than a fucking big budget production - and honestly, it loses some of the fun and appeal of portal fantasy.

I will say, it does look like they will visit the Nether at some point.

[ID: screenshot from the trailer. The scene is dark and lit by lava waterfalls originating above the frame, but the scenery resembles a Bastion. There are several piglins staring at the young male main character, whose head is peeking into frame. End ID]

Given they're shooting for the "marauding piglin" angle it's probably too much to ask, but the scene cuts away at this point instead of transitioning into that standard shot where all the mobs roar at the main character, so part of me is hoping that maybe this scene won't be at the climax, and we'll get to actually experience the piglins as nuanced mobs.

[lilrainbowcloud]

So many unanswered questions in TUA 4

1. Sloane???

2. Jennifer? What was with her?She was barely developed beyond being a plot device.

3. Why was she in a squid? Does she remember it? Why did she say 'The Cleanse' after getting out of it?

4. Klaus being useless. My fav character being underutilized especially after the character arc in the previous season.

5. Luther seemingly not missing his wife at all. I know its been six years but still...after the timline travelling subway reveal I thought he might try to find her.

6. Lila and Five. I get that they were stuck for seven years but Five would not do that to his brother. Why did they have to be stuck so long in the first place? What purpose did it serve other than that cursed romance?

7. The whole plot of S3 is the Kugelblitz which was caused by the Umbrellas due to the Grandfather paradox. Won't Lila and Diego's kids and Claire create the same problem in the original timeline?

This is pretty long but there's still so much more.

This season feels unreal and I mean that in a derogatory way.

TUA S4 SPOILER!!!

if you want to send me an ask to talk about this traumatic experience, you can!! i welcome you with open arms. here's a hot chocolate ☕

just finished and i had to take a minute and currently listening to chappell roan bcz holy shit

-might i say that i missed the sparrows and my sweetheart babygirl sloane? like damn ..

-yeah the only thing that plot line server was durango and marigold carrier + s*x = the end of the world

-but i think that was the only plot line i liked between ben and jen but GOD it was rushed like i want them to build trust and the relationship moreeeeeee

-OK BRO KLAUS!! MY BABYBOY KLAUS! OURRR BABYBOY KLAUS!!! god i hated that they made him relapsed or what like i was sooo happy that he was doing so well but of course the writers had to fuck him up one last time :(

-it was lost in the sauce. he did mentioned that "oh sloane would love this!" and i thought awwww but that was pretty much it :/

-this...... lila and five....... istg i said it and i'll say it AGAIN. they(the writers) pulled that one out of their asses boys. like what the actual fawkkkkkery was that? and to do it in montage form is VILE. i had to skip a lot of it. hard to watch. y/n im so sorry that you had to go through that😭😭 and infidelity???? i mean come on they killed people but trust and loyalty you cant break that i thought Five was better than that... how dare you Five. and lila wanted to dip the MOMENT that Five told her about the way back... like you did not just s-c-r-e-w him a moment ago

-and oh my god poor diegooooo hes trying so hard to be better and that reunion and the confrontation was HARD TO WATCH like damn... and she didnt answer him when he asked "Do you love him?" 2 TIMES. and yeah lila loves Five wbk fuckkkkkk

-but omg HAHA i have like 5 different angst fics in my head already brewing in my head HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA

-their kids, right?? im not pretty sure about the whole messed up timeline bit bcz theres a lot to understand and tbh i only just watched s1,2, and 3 like a month ago when they announced s4 released date hehe but yes all the things they did messed up the TL up

-oh and btw did you notice the ending?? was the family lila's?? bcz i noticed that the normal people all existed right? i cant rememberrrrr