routersims

[routersims]

geez geez dude sorry for the long ass paragraphing ahaah

[routersims]

i really want her to be alive i do i really do but she was suffering and if she is alive probably still suffering , and it was bound to happen eventually

you managed to keep her here for almost two years longer than she intended to stay alive for

but it was only ever able to be postponed, not prevented

she had so many plans, career opportunities, memories, friends, things to look forward to and it was all wiped out or taken from her in an instant, and i know she was the last hope her family had.

she was going to get a good job that pays well, she likely told you that, she loved to flaunt it. she could support the people she cared about, she would have finally been the first kind, successful, well paid person in her poor ass, spiteful family.

she could have broken the familial suffrage if she just stayed a little longer

i know that and i feel terrible knowing the future she wouldve had, if i stayed but i could NOT stay, im telling you i would have broken up with her or killed myself either purposely or accidentally woth how sick i was

it quite literally was inevitable with the chain of events that happened and since she didnt know how to handle her feelings and i didnt know how to either but i really did try my hardest hntil i broke

then i fucked up, and i came to my senses and i tried to be good for her again and now she might be gone and i want nothing more for her to just be okay and grow up and forget about me forever

[routersims]

wherever she is i just hope she’s safe or not suffering as much as she was anymore

i dont care if her and i never speak again, thats all i want for her

[routersims]

I personally did nothing to her, the only thing I did was talk about how much I cared for her and loved her and I watched as the life she once had in her responses changed to monotony and all she would ever talk about is you and how badly she hurt you and how she wanted to blow her brains out right then and there.

I tried my hardest to comfort her and would try to tell her ways to talk it out with you but she was either too afraid of confrontation or too afraid of the aggression you held towards her.

Her intentions weren’t of harm, and I’m not saying what she did wasn’t bad but admittedly if we’re talking from your point of view, but I wouldn’t consider it “cheating” in a sense, she was immature and emotionally unstable & unavailable.

I take into consideration that she is mentally ill in an even worse environment that she likely won’t or wouldn’t be able to leave. I say what you did to her as a sort of way to get her to talk or confess after the situation was worse and drained her of all feelings that she had left, she was guilty, and she has/had a history of punishing herself due to the at home situation with her parents.

Her main focus in the relationship by then was to abide by anything you wanted to do in order to never break you in such a manner that she did, and once you were gone I suppose she was devoid of all purpose left and dropped everyone and everything in a desperate attempt at having something to look forward to.

Many people have wronged her in her life, family - friends - she just wanted to FEEL something or have someone feel something towards her that wasn’t disappointment or hatred or at least that’s what she told me a long time ago.

I showed her as much care as I possibly could have, but when you came around it meant nothing to her unless it was coming for your mouth saying she deserved it. Instead as you both spiraled it was nothing but how “pathetic” she was and how much you regretted everything, her.

If she really were dead I wouldn’t be surprised, last time I saw her she was drained, pale, skinny as hell and had self-inflicted scars all over her arms and probably more hidden below, she hadn’t harmed herself physically in almost 12 years, 12 damn years and she relapsed over some fucking mentally unbalanced white bitch 8 hours away from her.

That’s why I hate you, i hate what you did to her and all you could say in the first few days of her suffrage was how you felt and how she can understand now and how she hurt you and how fucking retarded she is and how she never really loved you and how she was never here for you

and now shes GONE most likely shes gone and it was preventable oh so god damnpreventable she was my friend if not my best friend for years and she got rid of it all so quickly to plan out a future with a woman that’s fulfilling it with another

and the last thing i have to hear from her is how much you guys hurt each other and how she still loves YOU no matter what YOU did to her and how she deserves to rot in hell because she hurt YOU and YOU and YOU and YOU.

i hope shes ok and i hope she got caught

even if she did either way they wouldnt give her mental help at that point, shed likely be berated probably locked away from all she has left bashing her head into the damn wall

i live a few hours away from her and i dont get to visit often so when i do i just hope im not visiting a damn funeral

i didnt want to hurt her, i genuinely went haywire and said some really fucked up shit and lost the kindness im known for because of that, and i dont care if its not technically cheating because it is to me and thats all that matters

point is, i snapped and i fucked up and i know i did and i havent been well in the longest time and i am now

if i could go back and never meet her i would just so that theres a chance she could grow up and be happy

i literally never wanted ANY of this, i never wanted her to be obsessed or drop her friends or hurt herself and i spent so many nights crying and lecturing her about it all and she’d never listen to me

idk what you want me to say tbh because i cant fix it, i cant fix her. believe me ive TRIED, ive tried everything

i had her blocked for her sake until i unadded her to talk about everything and apologize and say i wanted the best for her and she only declined into obsession and everytime id say i need to leave so she gets better she’d flip the fuck out, i was genuinely backed into a corner

i literally was groomed, had both my best friends leave me, was all alone and then got into a relationship with a very mentally unstable girl who only made it worse Yea of course im gonna fuck up and i did

if it makes you feel any better I am sorry and ive told everyone that, including her, but sorry isnt gonna cure her obsession over me or bring her back if she is dead so idk what you want me to do

i am already extremely upset about the whole thing and you havent helped literally anything other than unhealthily taken out your anger and immaturely dealt with me i guess

zero understanding and zero care when you harass others and send death threats, i’d say youre no better than be but you’re just upset like how i was back then when i said those things

now if youd like to dm me and tell me to kill my swlf in private id let you just stop making me do these long ass rants sheesh (i say as im not being forced to do anything)

[routersims]

listen dude sorry for tweaking the hell out on your ass but im scared and my anger deprives from fear im fucking pissed im fuming and i hate your guts

i just want her to be ok and you were the last thing she talked to me about months ago before dropping me out of the blue

please just tell me shes ok if shes still speaking to you or anyone at all bro i need her to be ok

i speak to her everyday about her feelings and trying to console her and make her feel better about the whole thing but i think you failed to consider how she broke me for months, everyone can testify how mentally unwell i was because of that relationship

i told her about everything you were doing and she was very upset, and i honestly dont gaf about the whole thing thats why im joking about it because you dont know how ive tried my hardest the past month to just help her be okay now that ive mentally stabilized again

sure im mad but tbh if i were you id be mad too so i’m not holding it against you but saying you were gonna kill me was a little bit over the line man

last night i got a message from her saying she was ending it after i had nodded out while speaking to her (not negatively) but i woke up and i was pretty devastated and im still processing the whole thing

everyone who knows my side of the story agrees that we were both in the wrong and one party is no worse than the other, but nonetheless i still have forgiven her for everything and honestly i have tried my hardest to help her but the only way to keep her kicking was getting back with her and i could not, i will not, and i can not

my body was PHYSICALLY rejecting her, i threw up everyday and my trust for her was zero after she cheated on me the last time and i was literally mentally broken and i said things i know are shitty and i dont feel good about but i have empathy issues because im an autist so 🤷‍♀️

idk if u wanna actually talk to me about i’ll tell you my side and Um everything i know

i really truly hope shes ok, but she blocked me and i cant get ahold of her and she said it wasnt my fault but idk man

it is but it isnt, because the only way i could save her was getting back with her and id only end up killing my self so.. im not holding it against myself yea

she told me she had dropped all of her friends and i was genuinely very unhappy and i didnt ask for that at all, i told her she had to add them back or im blocking her for her sake and she refused because “i dont like them” and “they make me uncomfortable” so i dont know what you did but it was on her because i tried, and no i didnt block her after because being uncomfortable was a good reason so yk

rant sorry

[routersims]

urine

ur disgusting 🤢

[routersims]

royter oiss

thats it. im literally crashing out. goodbye km deleting all my socials fuck YOU PEOPLE HARASSING ME 😔

[routersims]

router pees

ok not fucking cool can you please stop harassing me youre seriously making me think bad things and this js really getting to me and im considering leaving the internet so PLEASE ADONT SEND ME ANYMORE HATE. IM NOT FUCKING ROUTER PEES.OKAY? STOP. SERIOUSLY. 😓

[routersims]

i was the bigger person and deleted them now suck my dick and go get a life ffs

[routersims]

thats what im saying, idk why people are so dumb but yea im not gonna respond anymore its not worth my time

thnx safari, love u

i was the bigger person and deleted them now suck my dick and go get a life ffs

[routersims]

i was the bigger person and deleted them now suck my dick and go get a life ffs

[routersims]

hi

??? WHO IS THIS AND WHY ARE YOU SENDING ME HIM

[routersims]

You're such a goated friend :)))

YOU TOO THANK YOU

[routersims]

smiles 100% normally

Hi hi hello hi hi :))))) ^_^ jumps with joy

HI

[routersims]

I read "Routersims" as "Causeofdeath"/srs,,,,

I DIDNT DIE OR CAUSE DEATH ISWEAR

[routersims]

ROUTERSIMS I MISS YOU! HOW ARE YOU GALPAL 🎀

I MISS U TOO IM AWESOME SAUCE

[routersims]

i agree

There's someone in the jash community that just doesn't sit right with me because like

The stuff they write is VERY proship but they don't even label it as that??? And it's fucking jashshipping??

NOTE: DO NOT HARASS THIS PERSON EVEN IF YOU THINK OR KNOW WHO IT IS

Like dude I get headcanons are a thing but you aren't even doing headcanons anymore

That's just an oc version of HMSW bro

Like Mind doesn't want his wires ripped out

Heart does NOT love Mind like ripping out a tooth

It makes me feel gross reading it like TISNDNOZKZ that's not HMSW coded at all that's just being edgy and dark with your ships aaaaaaa