#bro depression has been kicking my butt

[emo-trash101]

Hiiii! I would absolutely love if you did an arcane women x asthmatic child! Maybe Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn, Mel, and Ambessa?

Oh yes ofc I would love to do that! I am moving Ambessa over to another ask (from Nina ml 🫶) since there's gonna be multiple parts of these and I'm low-key getting lazy

Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn, and Mel x Asthmatic! Child

Pronouns: second person

Tw: SEASON 2 SPOILERS

Jinx (Season 2) -

- She knows what it's like to be abandoned, and to feel like it's more work for you to be taken care of than it's worth.

- I think she knows better than anyone else.

- That's why when she takes you in, it isn't just a simple impulsive act, it was a promise.

- It was a promise to you, to Isha, and most importantly, to herself.

- In general, she enjoyed the company you brought her. You gave her more creative input for her weapons, and gave her a new hobby.

- She suddenly developed a slight addiction to making you new and more colorful masks.

- By the first month you've lived with her she's made you at least 10 more.

- But she's a good mom, even if she can't see it herself very much.

Vi -

- She would honestly probably be one of the few people who sees tiny kid who like can't breathe and is just like, "Oh shit, normal lanes behaviour." And just walk away

- Like she isn't exactly the person to take a kid under her wing, especially cause she has this whole self deprecated mindset of how she isn't good enough for really anything

- But you likely end up following her, considering that it's probably a better choice than suffocating on the cold and dirty ground, and eventually, she just accepts that you're following her

- She brings you surprisingly to Jayce to figure out if one of your face masks can be built, and bro has such a soft spot for kids you get like 10 in one sitting made for you

- She has no specific opinion or worry about your illness, aside from the constant fear of you dying

- Her abandonment issues kick in an oddly large amount when you have coughing fits, and she can't keep herself from worrying if this is gonna be the last time she'll hear them

- But even when she's worrying like that, she tries to focus on just caring for you

- It makes her feel like when she used to take care of Powder

- And it makes her feel like she got a second chance.

Caitlyn (season 1) -

- So when she finds you on the streets during one of your patrols, her bleeding heart causes her to almost immediately leap to action.

- She immediately tells Marcus she's taking a break (whether he wants her to or not) and takes you to the best doctor she can find

- She holds your hand when you get diagnosed

- She may not really know you, but she doesn't really care, she just wants to help people, even if it ends up just being you who she helps

- After that, the doctor gives you your mask and she presumes you'll go on your merry way, doing whatever else it was in Piltover before she basically disrupted your life.

- But even months after she had met you, you both seem to run into each other much more.

- Whether it's you following her while she's on patrols, or just potential coincidence, you both seem to run into each other more and more.

- Eventually this leads to the conversation about where your (lack of) parents are.

- And this is when she decides to take you in.

- Her mother obviously lectures her about taking in stray children, and how hard it is to raise a child, and more

- But after that you basically just became a Kiramman from that day forth.

Mel -

- She never expected to meet you (but then again neither did literally any of the others), but it was especially not gonna be today

- it felt, odd to find a small child alone in Piltover, usually they would be with family, or at least some semblance of a caregiver

- But you were just sitting there, propped up against a wall, coughing your poor little lungs out

- So, regardless of her inhibitions, she takes you to a doctor.

- She feels a twinge of guilt when you receive a diagnosis, like she could've done something to prevent it

- But a part of her feels connected to you

- She knows what it feels like to be cast out from family, to have no one to turn to in your time of need.

- And right now she feels a need to be that rock for you to rest upon

- So you stay with her, after she convinces herself it will only be until she can find you a suitable family.

- She talks to Jayce and Victor about how to handle your illness, the mental and physical support that is required, along with just generally everything

- Before she knows it, she has an adoption certificate for you, and you're officially her child.

- And on that day, she makes a silent promise that she will be better than her mother was

Ik this took forever to come out, I've been low-key kinda mega depresso, but I promise that the final part with the rest of the characters will be coming out soon 🙏🙏🙏

Make sure you eat food and drink water

[sneakyswag]

⭐️, 💥, and 🍕 for the ask game please!

⭐️ Most controversial fandom you like the media of

Ah man I’m not sure. Perhaps Smash Bros lol. A lot of questionable things on there. I used to be into Dream SMP, like two years ago, but got over it after all that drama and besides, no hate, but it’s legit people gaming over a game of Minecraft. That’s something I could’ve been doing with my friends instead of watching it.

💥 Character you wish there were more art of

Axl and Marty! Definitely. Axl has his fair share, but there could be more! Marty on the other hand, my goodness, I’ve only found art of her on Pixiv. The Japanese seem to like her, but what about everyone else? She’s awesome I love her she needs more art and more clout so she can get a model kit stat or a plush or anything like come on it’s a powerful fish woman she’s amazing and could kick your butt (and her bfs 👀). Need more of them. Also Harpuia and Phantom. Like DUDE we need more art of them. Poor Leviathan gets art, but we all know why that is. Fefnir too. The guardians need more love :(((

🍕 Character that would make for the worst date

Now that I think of it, probably Zero. He’d never go willingly. He’d probably still be traumatized because of the whole Iris situation and went because X forced him to go touch some grass. He’d be depressed, though and probably not even want to talk for the whole date. He’d probably leave mid way as well without a word. I get it, though.

[love-killed-the-superstar]

OK THATS ACTUALLY SO RELIEVING TO ME THAT SOMEONE ELSE INTERPRETS HIS BEHAVIOUR IN FF AS DEPRESSION BECAUSE SOMETIMES I THINK IM READING WAY TOO DEEPLY INTO IT (i mean i know i am because he was written this way for gags, but yknow what i mean)

i definitely think mikey would experience some imposter syndrome, thinking "hey there are things here i like so clearly i can't be THAT miserable, my bros have it worse than me" and burying those feelings down. the way he treats turtle titan is very interesting through this lens, because here is a guy who looked up to mikey, was inspired to follow in his footsteps, and all mikey can see is someone who is doing everything right while all season he's been kicked while he's down (thanks again, ff writers, for making mikey the butt of the joke whenever serling isn't around to use as a verbal punching bag). the low self-esteem culminating in jealousy towards a guy who is loved for a superhero identity he has always been made fun of for makes total sense. no wonder they got off to such a bad start.

i'm glad we at least got raph's perspective, but i wish we'd seen more from the others. leo and donnie had basically no reaction to what was going on and to this day it blows my mind. leo especially. THEY DID NOTHING WITH HIM!! when this would be a golden opportunity to touch on those feelings of helplessness he's struggled with throughout season 4 - the whole 'this situation is out of my control but i'm the leader so i still feel responsible and useless' emotion applies perfectly to being stranded against their will. and it would have been great to have this leo-focused episode which then pivoted to him realising mikey has been displaying all of these depression symptoms and they have all been writing it off as laziness... it would have been so nice to see the brothers lean on each other and just let themselves feel sad and frustrated. i wonder if they knew they were going to give don a similar arc in btts when they started writing ff... because the sense of urgency and responsibility to fix things as soon as possible would have worked just as well for getting the time portal up and running as it was for getting splinter's nft parts back, lol

PLEASE TAG ME IF YOU DO WRITE IT, I'D LOVE TO READ SOMETHING LIKE THAT

mikey ask game, 8 and 13!

(these answers will be about 2k3 mikey unless stated otherwise because he's ~my~ mikey. i apologise for the length of these answers, it seems i had a lot to say?! i also apologise for how much i bring up fast forward here, it seems that i'm fixated on it really hard right now.)

8. what’s your favorite dynamic of him and any other character? what makes it your favorite?

It's so hard to pick just one!!

i thought a lot about this, but i think splinter? he's exasperated that his son can be a bit lazy and distracted from ninja training, but still had him specialise in nunchaku, showing that he believes in his ability to master a difficult weapon. splinter surrendering in the battle nexus so that mikey could advance was so heartwarming and honestly makes me emotional to remember. in the first turtle titan episode even though he doesn't understand why mikey admires superheroes so much he acknowledges that his intentions are noble and he needs to follow the path truest to his heart. veering a little more into headcanon territory, i do think that being the most openly affectionate, baby mikey was a master manipulator in terms of melting his rat dad's heart. i can picture him climbing onto splinter's lap every time he sits down and being the most reluctant to go down for naps. and in a particular au i'm cultivating that delves more into mikey's potential romantic life, i think he would go to his father for advice. splinter may not be well versed in romance outside of his soap operas, but he will always be here for his kids when they need him.

(this, of course, makes me very bitter over the flanderisation of their relationship in fast forward. ff!splinter might as well walk around wearing a shirt that says "i hate my lazy video game addicted son" and it breaks my heart.)

honourable mentions for other characters i think he has a great dynamic with: leo, silver sentry, klunk, serling, angel, april, renet and turtle titan ii.

13. what’s something about mikey that nobody seems to talk about that should be talked about more?

tbh i think a lot of people love mikey and have analysed him in just about every way possible and what i end up saying is probably not the most groundbreaking take, but here is something that i've thought about a fair bit but haven't really seen from anyone else?

in fast forward, mikey is depressed. it is handled by the narrative about as delicately as a bull in a china shop, but it's there.

5 seasons of being bombarded with trauma-inducing storylines culminates in temporarily dying, going full dragon avatar mode to defeat the demon shredder and then finally they are able to relax, breathe easy, process some of these emotions - but noooo, instead they get ripped out of their timeline and dropped 100 years in the future with no way home and the studio execs wouldnt let them rightfully lose their shit at cody so instead we see the turtles bottle that rage and slowly descend into semi-flanderised madness. /lh

mikey in particular becomes very sensitive to rejection (see: losing his goddamn mind and going on an all out offensive against turtle titan ii, after being talked down the first time he raged out, because raph made One Comment about how his successor is better at heroism than he is), prone to emotional outbursts, especially anger (remember that iconic clip of him beating up cops and stealing their cars because they pissed him off?), loses interest in his ninja training, maintains very poor hygiene/living conditions, grows addicted to video games, and in rare moments of vulnerability (namely in graduation day of 2105) he expresses that he sees himself as lazy, unfocused, a 'goofball', and undeserving when it comes to being recognised for his ninja skills like his brothers. my man's self-esteem is in the toilet, he is craving normalcy after years of constantly fighting for his life, and his dopamine is clearly critically low because he is dependent on all the fancy material goods of 2105 to be happy. his method of coping with the difficult emotions being stranded in the future has brought up, while still maintaining the silly funny guy routine that his family expect from him, is to bury himself in VR. and why wouldn't he, when among the uptick in mikey roasts over the course of this season we literally hear splinter say the words "where did i go wrong with that boy?" THOSE WORDS STAY WITH YOU WHEN THEY COME FROM YOUR PARENTS. THEY HURT.

he's very empathetic to leo's own depression in season 4, being the voice of reason at the beginning of samurai tourist when raph is ready to fight him. we also see at several points in seasons 1-5 that his loud ego is a front and he is actually very aware of his shortcomings, especially seen in grudge match. in a different timeline where 2k3 wasn't neutered following insane in the membrane, i do wonder if the turtles would have been able to explore their turbulent feelings regarding the 2105 situation. since mikey and leo are often paired up for adventures in 2k3, it would be an interesting parallel to see leo recognising signs of depression in his brother and helping him, imparting some of ancient one's wisdom (and, in the great year of 2105 where mutants are equal citizens and cody has money to burn, finding him a good cognitive behavioural therapist).

i don't think the writers INTENDED to code mikey as depressed / struggling to cope in season 6 - i think it was a toxic combo of writing more 'mikey is lazy/immature/irresponsible and needs to be taught a lesson' episodes than the usual season average + thinking it was a funny social commentary gag to make him obsessive over video games. but i saw a lot of those traits in myself when i was deep in a depression hole. the show has already told us that the turtles' mental states have been impacted by the ridiculousness they have gone through. why would mikey be any different?

I DIDN'T MEAN TO WRITE AN ENTIRE THINKPIECE, BUT IF YOU REACHED THE END, THANK YOU FOR READING. AND THANK YOU FOR THE ASKS!

[bunnys-beetlejuice-blog]

come on in, folks, i got some kind of goof ass Beetlejuice/Evil Dead crossover for you to enjoy.

He’s eighteen, and it’s Saturday, which means that he and Lydia are wandering around Manhattan, looking for trouble to get into. Lydia, eleven and ever his little shadow, is standing next to him, as they take a moment, on the busy New York street corner, to sip their boba and think about their next move. They were meant to be watching some horror movie that had looked alright from the previews, but ended up being so stupid, it wasn’t even fun, and the Deetz siblings had found themselves walking out, one hour poorer but a bucket of overly butter saturated movie popcorn richer. “I still can’t believe how bad that was,” Lydia says, again, huffing, because they’d actually paid money to see that stinker, instead of sneaking in, which is their usual habit. “Ya get one big name attached an’ everyone apparently stops givin’ a shit. Musta figured th’ droolin’ masses would eat it up,” he agrees, and he slurps up the last of his tapioca balls, and then proceeds to eat the plastic straw. “Is it too much to ask that characters actually be interesting, and, I don’t know, behave like normal human people?” Lyds bitches, as BJ takes a bite out of his cup, too. She glances up at him, dryly. “I mean, I guess maybe my standards for normality are low, but still.”

He grins at her. “Whatever could you possibly mean, sister dearest?” he puts on a posh, almost transatlantic accent, and she rolls her eyes, and sucks boba up in her straw, then shoots the pearls at him like a pea shooter. He snorts and laughs.

It’s a good day, despite the letdown at the movies. It’s nearly that time of year, just about the start of his seasonal depression, as the sun becomes shy and things go cold and gray. Still, there’s some time left with the sunshine, so he’s drinking it up, savoring it, and it feels good, to stand here with Lyds, and talk about nothing. “Alright, come on, let’s second act it,” he grins, and she perks up. “I think Wicked’s playing!” “Wicked’s always playin’.” “Well, I’m not sitting through Hamilton, it’s a Saturday. I’m not learning if I don’t have to.” “Totally fuckin’ fair. Music Man, maybe?” “Hugh Jackman’s weirdly brick shaped head freaks me out.” “There’s gotta be a show we can sneak into,” BJ frowns, scratching at the scruff of his chin, and then he catches a scent he’s never smelled before, as Lydia puzzles through their remaining options. It’s like death, sort of, but not. Like death warmed over, or death, refried. He takes his sister’s hand, and leads her away from the street corner, following the smell, nose in the air, pupils blown wide, and Lydia laughs. “Great, time to go poke a dead thing. That’s more fun than The Last Four Years, at least.” She’s seen him go like this before, and thinks she knows what to expect.

Neither of them know how to react when they follow the scent down an alleyway and see the violent fight happening in front of them.

Parked at the far end of the alleyway is a car, some 70’s make that he doesn’t know enough about such things to name, and between it, and the Deetz siblings, is an one handed man absolutely going feral on a group of three refried dead smelling zombie… things. “Deadly-vu,” he hears Lydia whisper, as they watch the man perform a scissor kick that sends a zombie head flying. It bounces like a basketball against the brick wall that makes the alleyway, rolls, and lands at the Deetz sibling’s feet. There’s a beat, as they stare at it, and it stares back, before the head on the ground opens its mouth and speaks. “DEMON!” it shrieks, and then it makes the life ending choice to roll at Lydia, teeth bared, and his boot is going through it, crushing through the skull like an overly juicy bug under his heel. He takes a second to wipe the gore from his sole onto the pavement. “Maybe Wicked could be good,” he turns and says to Lydia, who responds by ducking behind him, because the body the head formerly belonged to seems to be stumbling at them, clutching something in it’s boiled and infected and puss covered arms, and it thrusts the thing at BJ, before falling down and collapsing into dust. It’s a book. Some kind of creepy old demon book, from the look of it. He wrinkles his nose in vague disgust, and then takes a sniff. If the zombie things are refried death, this thing is a whole fucking Mexican food buffet of it, and it makes his head spin in a way he’s never felt before. He kind of likes it. He’s about to give the cursed reading material a tentative lick before a boom rings out from in front of them- the one handed man has pulled a sawed off shotgun off his back, and dispatched another corpse thing. There’s one left, and it’s circling the man, who by this point is so blood covered, he looks like he was tricked into being prom queen, or something.

“Is it just me, or do you freaks just keep gettin’ uglier?” the man quips, and the corpse lunges, a stumbling move which earns it the butt of the shotgun to the jaw, which goes flying. The zombie is shot through the gut, and drops, but is a twitching, squirming mess. BJ’s seen enough horror movies to know that thing is getting back up. The stranger has apparently, too. He takes a moment to reload the shotgun, then double taps, blowing clean through the thing’s skull. He blows at the slightly smoking barrels of his sawed off, twirls it, and holsters it, re-slipping it onto his back. It’s a pretty cool move, actually, and the siblings watch in rapt attention. It takes the three remaining people (well, two people, one demon,) in the alley a moment to actually focus on each other, and there’s silence, before the stranger speaks. “Uh,” says the man, covered in blood, and Lydia peaks out from behind BJ, and stares at him, with big eyes. “Kids,” he hears the man mutter. “Great, just what I need, a coupla kids, gettin’ in my way.. Hey, kiddies,” he says, louder, with a smile, which might be really charming when he’s not soaked in rot and blood, but the effect at the moment is not as sincere and friendly as he clearly thinks it is. “Looks like you two little heroes managed to wrangle my book away from those deadites. You wanna do your pal Ash a favor, and hand it over?” He makes a “come here” motion with his stump arm, and then seems to realize that’s not so appealing, because he tucks that appendage behind his back, worried, suddenly, about scaring them. As if a man with a missing hand is the weirdest thing they've seen in the last five minutes.

“What the fuck,” Lydia says, and BJ can’t help but agree with that sentiment. Also, he feels a vague sense of sudden responsibility for this weird old tome. It doesn’t exactly seem like the kind of thing a human should have. Maybe those zombies… deadites? Maybe they were trying to get back what was stolen from them. Though he’s not charitable enough to assume that they’re the good guys in this feud. The stranger, Ash, takes a careful step forward. “It’s alright,” he says, like he’s talking to a wild animal he’s trying to tame, and not a teen and preteen, respectively. “I’m not gonna hurtcha. Just need to get my book back.”

A sudden screeching wind roars down the alleyway, and both living humans react, ducking, as it bellows and swirls around them, kicking up dust and trash and chunks of leftover deadite. “Demon! Aid us!” BJ feels a presence in front of his face, something he can’t see, but a great, ancient something, reaching out to him, demanding, begging, pleading, for him to assist in whatever macabre goal it wants to meet. He responds by sticking his unglamoured tongue out at it. “Ewww, gross. No.”

The thing shrieks again, and makes a beeline for Lydia, which is just about the stupidest thing it could have done, because he drops his glamour fully and snarls, gives the ancient being a psychic push back, and he sends the thing that cannot be seen flying, out of the shady darkness of this alleyway, past what he assumes to be Ash’s car, and out onto the city street, into the sun. It shrieks and moans and curses him. He flips it off, as it dissipates. The vibe in the air, however, tells him it’s not “dead,” just gone.

Ash straightens up and looks at him. BJ’s already slipped his human disguise back on, so the effect is that Ash has just seen what seems to be a slightly too pale and definitely overweight human teen somehow push back an ancient evil, totally unaffected. Now it’s his turn to let out a confused, “What the fuck?”

“Come on, BJ!” Lydia grabs her big brother’s arm and pulls him away, running from the gore and the confused zombie slayer. “Wait, kids-!” Ash rounds the corner, after them, but the Deetz siblings are already gone, disappeared into thin air, flash stepping the span of blocks in the blink of an eye, and they don’t stop until Lydia, sick from the teleportation, gives his hand a squeeze. They appear on a rooftop, confusing and traumatizing some pigeons that had been roosting.

“Wait, why did we run?’ BJ asks, and Lydia looks at him like he’s a moron. “Because that guy was clearly a monster hunter! And kind of really good at it!” she says. He mulls that over, and smiles. “Worried for your big bro?” he bats his eyelashes at her, and she responds by slugging him in the gut, which he reacts the barest amount to. “Last thing I want is to explain to mom and dad how you ended up with a shotgun blast through your skull,” she says, and crosses her arms, before leaning forward, to study the book he’s still holding. “So. What is that?” He grins. “Wanna open it an’ find out?” Read the rest of the first chapter here!

[stevebucks]

If you were given full permission and all the power to rewrite and film Endgame's ending, What changes would you make? In short, tell me any one of the million other ways marvel could gone and used some common sense to not fuck up!

P.S.- I am still bitter about the injustice done to stucky

I actually answered a similar ask recently here!!!!

But I’ll rant some more.

Steve wouldn’t go back to the 1940s because what the fuck?? First of all, he leaves Bucky behind after spending years trying to get him back. He leaves Sam behind, his friend who has his back no matter what. He leaves behind a time where he has:

Already brought down a terrorist organisation (Hydra)

Dismantled a government organisation infiltrated by said terrorist organisation (SHIELD)

Saved his best friend/love of his life from 70+ years of torture

Witnessed less bigotry and dictatorship than he had experienced growing up in the 30s/40s.

On WHAT GOD GIVEN PLANET would Steve go back to a time where sexism, racism, homophobia and so many other types of bigotry were the norm??? Where Bucky is STILL being tortured?? And have a cute little dance with a woman who as already built a happy and successful life for herself without him and (who would hopefully kick him out when he selfishly shows up after years to butt in on her life)?? NOT my Steve Rogers.

On another note:

Natasha wouldn’t die because????????????? why. fuck you cowards she’s better than you all. She didn’t deserve the end you gave her and I will never forgive you for that.

Tony wouldn’t die because it just makes me sad even though I definitely am not a Tony stan. He and Pepper got away from it all and had a life together and had a young daughter and it just makes me :(

Clint wouldn’t become a serial killer?? Like yes this guy has just lost his family but would he not turn to his best friend Natasha to try and help get everyone back (and love of his life if the writing was done the way that made sense ahaha x) rather than kill a bunch of people?? Idk it just shit on his whole character tbh.

THOR. He was made a laughing stock in endgame. My boy is literally traumatised and depressed after everything he’s been through and everything he’s lost. He has a whole boatload of guilt, and they make him a source of mockery and make him drunk and cowardly and think that making him no longer Big and Muscular is a great way to make him a joke. He needs a hug not to be ridiculed.

Don’t kill Gamora bro what the fuck don’t reduce her to the purple raisin’s only source of “humanity” and kill her?? I know she came back from the alternate timeline but still. No.

Sorry for the rant but there you go :) tattoo ‘fuck endgame’ on my face.

[adultswim2021]

Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law #1: "Bannon Custody Battle" December 30, 2000 - 4:30AM | S01E01 Welcome to the first episode of Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law, the first show on Adult Swim’s roster that I rejected as a substandard product. It should’ve been the Brak Show. In the opening episode, Birdman takes a case from Dr. Benton Quest, better known as Jonny Quest’s father. Race Bannon is fighting for custody of the boy, arguing that he’s a much better, much more present father figure to Jonny. Harvey Birdman was first conceptualized with an episode of Space Ghost Coast to Coast. In the episode “Pilot” we’re shown a supposed disastrous pilot episode of “Coast to Coast” where Birdman was originally attached as the star. Birdman, a depressive, out-of-work super hero, utterly botches the job as his inability to host a late-night show due to his deriving all his powers from the sun becomes more apparent. The character recurs a few more times, most notably in the episode “Sequel”, where Birdman guest-hosts the show. Still, to call this a proper Space Ghost spin-off requires carrying a big asterisk along with it. The character name “Harvey Birdman” was invented for Space Ghost, but besides both being based on the old 60s Birdman Hanna-Barbera show, they have little to do with one another. One would get almost nothing out of watching the original Space Ghost episodes before watching this (except for, you know, getting to see episodes of a much funnier show).

So in Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law you have one 60s Hanna-Barbera character as a lawyer taking court cases from various other Hanna-Barbera characters, usually of a similar vintage. In this particular episode we’re treated to a lot of jokes about the homoerotic subtext of Jonny Quest, specifically the relationship between Race Bannon and Benton Quest. The writers decide to tastefully side-step the seemingly pederast relationship between Race and Jonny. Watching the original Jonny Quest with the same attempt to subvert and recontextualize the relationships between the characters through a modern lens, a certain type of observer would probably note the amount of shirtless roughhousing Race does with Jonny. Speaking of watching Jonny Quest: I have to admit something: I never really watched Jonny Quest at all before writing this blog. I’ve had an interest in older shows and cartoons my entire life, but the entire genre of action cartoon didn’t appeal to me whatsoever when I was a kid. So last night I watched my first episode of Jonny Quest, in glorious 1080p on my new 4K television; a format it was never EVER intended to be viewed in. Jonny Quest is objectively junk. It’s fun, boyish, escapist entertainment, and there’s a lot of good irony in it, especially with it’s antiquated portrayal of other cultures from a bygone era when we were far less connected to the rest of the world. It has limited animation and simplistic design. The backgrounds look like they were painted on a post-it-note and most of the men are drawn to look like reskinned versions of Race Bannon. But there’s at least something a LITTLE charming about it. In fact, there was one moment of beautifully scripted action that absolutely won me over: Race and Jonny’s speed boat goes airborne briefly and crushes the bad guy’s boat from above as they speed towards one another. I nearly cheered when it happened. I knew The Venture Bros took liberally from Jonny Quest, but the coolest action sequences on that show seemed to be striving for the same exact visceral reaction I got from seeing Race crunch up some lizard men on a boat. Birdman is a similar deal: He was a cookie-cutter imitation of comic book heroes from the silver-age of comics (the obvious comparison here is DC’s Hawkman). I actually did watch a Birdman adventure late last night as I was falling asleep to follow up on Jonny Quest, but it felt less important. I can remember checking out the original Birdman on DVD not too long ago. Also, your typical Harvey Birdman usually focuses on jokes about shows other than Birdman. Still, it’s neat to see those characters in their original context, as well as that Hanna-Barbera stock-explosion animation we all know and love from Space Ghost blowing up Zorak on Coast-to-Coast. Also the episode I watched will be heavily referenced later, but not for this. I only watched the first episode of Jonny Quest taking a cue from my friend Kon who noted that most of the references in “Bannon Custody Battle” are directly from the first episode. The most specific (and funniest) scene in the whole show involves the Lizard Men, the main villains of that first installment. Other characters show up very briefly, and are all ones that appear in the opening sequence. Unless I find out differently (I’ll probably try to make my way through the rest of Quest in preparation for Venture Bros.), it really does seem like the writers just watched the first episode of Jonny Quest to write this show. Watching this episode of Harvey Birdman was like batting away an existential crisis. I remember vaguely at the time not being SUPER hot on this show, but I cut it a lot of slack and trusted that it would simply get funnier. I wanted to love all the shows on Adult Swim. Anyway, I went from being lukewarm on Birdman, to hating it. Reading my own earlier review of Birdman I blasted this episode for being homophobic. I used to have a very low tolerance for gay jokes, back when they were highly in fashion. But now that we live an era where there’s an arms race to find new ways to scold one another for perceived slights gay jokes can sometimes, NOT ALWAYS, be a little refreshing to hear. The fact that my stance on gay jokes can change as long as it’s in direct-opposition with the rest of the world is at least a little troubling. Does this mean I’m an inauthentic reactionary? Yes. Yes it does. There, I admitted it. Now, let me off the hook, please. I say that sorta jokingly. The gay jokes in this are mostly pretty lame, and come off like Mike Scully-era Simpsons gay jokes. The early scene at the beginning where Birdman eyes widen when he’s misunderstanding the nature of Dr. Quest’s and Race Bannon’s relationship really does come off as early 90′s homophobia. I remember it seemed out of place at the time. I’m sure it played just fine in the midwest, but the show didn’t really put it’s best foot forward with that. Speaking of lame jokes, this episode has a few that have nothing to do with insulting gay people. One of my least favorite bits involve the specific gag of undercutting a dramatic moment with characters fumbling around awkwardly in true-to-life fashion. Why, if a person tried to recreate a dramatic sting you’d see before a commercial break in real life, you’re right, it’d probably go awkwardly! But this 11 minute show has at least 3 explicit examples of this, and it’s only mildly amusing once:

Bannon dramatically walks out on Dr. Quest, after announcing his intention to take Jonny with him. He awkwardly comes back because he forgot his keys

Birdman dramatically argues with a rival prosecutor and summons his personal digital assistant, and then awkwardly fumbles with it

Birdman proves that the Race Bannon on the witness stand is actually a robot by unplugging him, but he accidentally pulls the wrong cord and has to spend a few seconds untangling and retracing the correct cord.

Another thing about Birdman is that there is usually a lack of strong jokes. The show usually includes a layer of comedy where there are simply characters who simply have odd, scattered speech patterns or odd ticks. The rival lawyer in this slurs his speech in a particular way: cut to the jury looking confused. That’s the joke. The Judge grumbles in an ornery fashion and generally acts like he doesn’t wanna be there. He says stuff that sounds like bad improv. That’s the joke. The show will only ocassionally come up with jokes to justify these character traits. It’s just silliness that doesn’t usually go anywhere. But, I do kinda like some things about this episode. It was animated by J.J. Sedelmaier, known for early digital animation seen in the crude era of Beavis and Butt-head and SNL’s TV Funhouse. They really do have their own style of comic timing, and there are some gags in this where the animation works in their favor. There are some jokes where the drawings really sell the comedy. I’m not sure if I liked this animation better or worse, but it does match the oddly-stilted Jonny Quest animation better than the episodes that came after this would have. Oh, one of the funniest bits not on the show was when I popped in the DVD I forgot that the menu music is Wesley Willis’ “Birdman Kicked My Ass”. If I were in high school when the DVD came out I would have loved it just for that reason. Same could be said “Jonny Quest Thinks We’re Sell-Outs” by Less Than Jake. I was an easily impressed kid.

[lesyah]

Guardian stream of consciousness watchthrough ep. 40 aka the finale :(

THE LAST EPISODE NOOOOO

IM SO SAD

PLEASE RECOMMEND ME OTHER SHOWS

ok let’s gooooo

Da qing is like um ok

Ew what’s coming out of his head

This is mad stressful

“That’s such a great question, zhao yunlan, thanks for asking!!!” *pulls up a powerpoint*

No one ever asked him what he wanted to do 😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 CAUSE NO ONE CARES YOU INGRATE

“History has always been written by the winner” ummmmm

That is actually some piping hot tea

Why is he actually so right……..wtf

“Losers are always in the wrong” ok u lost me there

You’re so dumb ye zun 😭😭

Yes kick his butt my guy

Zhao yunlan’s habit of always holding sacred items comes in handy

OMFG SHEN WEIIIIIII

Omg

He sees all these people, including Lin jing who he thought was dead and the first words out of his mouth are “where is shen wei”

Other shows have the decency to be like “omg you’re alive!!!! Yay!!!!………..wait wheres______”

This show doesn’t play

Ugh zhao yunlan’s face and tears 🥺🥺

OFNCOOSKCIS

ONG. D

GUYS

GUYS FJCIENICKS

IFISOLSKXKXKSKDKS

BRO

OH MT GOSKSOXKWKKCOWKKCKEW

I AM

SO SOEECHLESS

IH NY GOSHNMCKKXE

IDK WHAT TO DI WUTH MYSELF

you’re telling me ye zun believed that for 10,000 years

Wtf

HE THREW HIM OFF A CLIFF????? VERY MUCH THE OPPOSITE OF ABANDONMENT

ridiculous

Omg and that scene where shen wei was like “I thought you were dead” UGH IM SAD

I hate it here

The necklace omg

Are you telling me that shen wei is dead

Are seriously telling me that rn

Are YOU TELLING ME

THAT SHEN WEI IS DEAD??????????????????

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the rage I feel? Incomprehensible

Omg zhao yunlan ………….. omg

Wtf

🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣 I hate it here🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

Wait he’s gonna suffer forever?

Wtf?

Actually what on earth

Zhao yunlan 🥺🥺 I love you

This is the worst day

There’s light in the underground??? 🥺

Time is going ???!!!

Oh my gosh

The underworld and earth are completely separate now?

Omg zhao yunlan

Omg cong bo flirting with the doctor

I love Li qian being the director. Heck yeah.

Omg guo changcheng on a blind date

He’s so awkward

She said he’s like a character in a manga

CHU SHUZHI WENT WITH HIM? EYE—

He does not care for this gal I think

The way changcheng imitated himself being afraid omg

She’s terrible

Omg chu shuzhi appeared and took him away

Shook

Hes like “YOU💢💢 ARE THE BEST!! 💥💥 AND IF YOU EVER THINK DIFFERENTLY 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥☄️☄️☄️☄️���🤬🤬 ITS ON. SIGHT. 💢💥🔥😡”

His lil smile as he walked away 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Zhu Hong being chief………………obsessed.

I love her not letting her uncle call her Hong.

She’s amazing and I love her endlessly.

Wait zhao yunlan is standing here

Wtf

I’m

????????????????????????????????????

Ok

It’s been a year? 😭😭😭😭😭

Omg

Oh I get it

Wow

I’m

Ok

I see I see

So actually everything sucks and I’m sad

Oh no the tears have come

They’re here and they are MANY

“A new story will be written from today”

Hi I love pain and suffering

Wow these ads………..I have a bone to pick with viki

HOW DARE IT END LIKE THAT

WHAAAAAAT

THE AUDACITY

You guys I am djcokeockwkcooenekw

This is all so depressing

I hate it here

I was not expecting this show to end like that

I really wasn’t

I’m

Suuduejicjekckkwkciww

Angry and upset rn

😤😤🤧🤧

All I have to say is:

[anxietyprime]

Life updates

So I'm back, I haven't used Tumblr much but no one I really know uses it either. So back to my problems. Instead of bottling my issues up and explode I'm going to shout them into the void here.

I have some issues with my family that I still live with in my 30s, life hasn't been kind to me but that is a different issue. Because of how my family is I feel like Atlas that the whole world is on my shoulders. I mean that I feel like I have to do the bulk of the chores, I have to take out the garbage, do the laundry, take care of any electronic issue that may rise, go food shopping. Now granted it doesn't seem like much but with my anxiety, depression, and ADHD it is much more. I fight to feel better each day so I can function and not be so pissed off at the world. Until I take my pills I'm usually angry, and that anger stems at that I can't be myself, mostly because of myself that stops me from doing the things I want to do.

Now my problems with my family is that my Mom doesn't understand how difficult it is for me to function, she wants me to feel better and wants to help me, but then gets passive aggressive when I don't do much because it is difficult.

My Dad who I've been afraid of most of my life recently recovered from a Stroke over a year ago, he's not the same person he used to be which is a good thing but I find it hard to talk or connect with him even though that was the same before the stroke. He just asks repeatedly do this or do that and asks a thousand times to do it if I haven't done it yet, which is difficult to get done because of the aforementioned mental illnesses. Now I've been afraid of my Dad because he was really strong beforehand, but never physically abusive, but he is definitely a king of the castle type of person, his way or the highway type of person and it was always tough to deal with or embarrassing at times.

My Brother is pretty good, would like him to help me out a bit more but he has physical issues that bother him so I do a lot of the work, but he drives because I have chosen not too and have developed arthritis in my knees. We see Eye to eye my bro and I but sometimes we're not on the same page, that gets frustrating but a minor issue overall.

My anxiety and the rest make everyday tasks harder and that's why it had become so frustrating for me. Also, that I make arbitrary tasks for myself that seem to crush my spirit too because I make so many of them.

Let's evolve the topic because I have an annoying friend who just gets on my nerves because he is a king of the castle type of person like my Dad and everything has to be about him. He can make fun of you but gets butt hurt if you say something about him. It's like walking eggshells with him. I don't talk much around him because I don't know what will set him off. Also he makes these repetitive jokes that being friends and hanging out often over the course of 8 years becomes insanely tiring and they are sexual/perverted jokes. I get tired of everything being a sex joke, like there is more to life than sex but apparently not to him. I also feel that he is a bit disrespectful to women because he says I'd hit that or only cares about wanting to have sex with them, the tone he uses feels more that he thinks of them as objects than people. I have no problems if you only want sex and not relationships but just make it sound like they are people not just things. He also gets a kick out of instigating our friends and thinks he's funny, like it's more mean or rude than funny.

He's been a large problem of my life for a while now but he's become less over the last year but still an annoying ass of a friend. He has his upsides that's why he is still a friend. However, he does get annoying when he watches a show or a game and has to mention every single part of it all the time, or talks about his life or his work. Like please shut up I am trying to have my own life and memories not just your entire life too. It gets annoying because we also like similar things and basically feels like he took a lot of what made me special or my role away from me.

[mysterylover123]

BNHA Rewatch: Two Heroes

mysterylover123

And before we start Season 3, one more road stop: The Big Freaking Movie, Two Heroes, last year’s surprise anime blockbuster and HeroAca’s first excursion onto the big screen. Time to share my thoughts and rewatch this very entertaining film!

We open with bald eagles, deserts, and cowpoke themes, to make sure we know we’re in America. We fly into “California” which looks more like Las Vegas (not really complaining, I loooove that they picked my hometown state for this) to find young, white schlera eye-having All Might and his hunky bro David Shield kicking ass and taking names. My state’s name, to be precise. 

Some exposition follows, basically recapping the premise of HeroAca, as I’m reminded of what a stroke of genius Hori had when he decided to make the MC an easy expositor thanks to his geeky knowledge of all things Hero. Deku will always be Captain Exposition.

Melissa! She’s fun and adorable and amazing, and I just love that the first HeroAca movie chooses to focus on a geeky, kind and energetic lady. 

Deku looking back and forth between Melissa’s breasts and All Might’s crotch belt is peak Bi energy.

I’m so jealous that Melissa gets to touch Deku’s hand.

Melissa describing All Might as someone David ‘loves’ is just throwing away all pretence of his heterosexuality, if it ever existed. How the hell did this guy end up with a kid?

Deku blushing around and enthusing over both Melissa and David is max bi energy.

Uraraka’s Annoying Crush Counter: 5

But I’m glad the girls are here! The Bones animators clearly know well what the fanbase wants to see, choosing to give all 6 class 1-A girls at least a cameo in the film, and three of them involved in the main plot. I especially love that, despite being initially pitted against each other, Uraraka and Melissa develop a bit of a womance in the film. OchaLissa ship!

My one major regret about this film is that Mineta is included in the Main Cast. I wish either Mina or Tsuyu had come along for the ride instead - one, they’re better, more lovable characters who could do the same job he does, and two, then we’d have a nearly gender-even cast! (6 Boys: Deku, Katsuki, Tenya, Shoto, Kiri, Kaminari; 5 Girls: Ochaco, Momo, Jiro, Melissa, Mina or Tsu). 

Kacchan makes his appearance! This bit was leaked online before the film’s release and drew quite a lot of ire from BKDK shippers and Bakugo fans. I’m mostly annoyed that Deku is acting OOC here; this is Post-Final Exam Deku, post Hero Killer Deku. Would the guy who punched All Might in the face and Bakugo in the face and the Hero Killer in the face be cowering in fear behind Iida, the guy whose life he saved, from the guy he, only a few weeks ago, punched in the face?! Badass Deku Rights!

Ooh a wild Todobaku moment! I always love when they bicker. Or rather, Katsuki bickers and Shoto ignores him.

OH NO you cannot slap me with the Ingenium OST theme and hardcore feels out of nowhere! God this scene is heartbreaking. I love, however, the cut to the whole of Class 1-A and Melissa when they talk about the future.

AH Bakugo’s feet! Why are we staring up his crotch? So this movie has a lot of KiriBaku scenes, and I should probably talk about them a little, since their friendship is a big deal in S3. They’re the only major HeroAca ship I’ve never shipped as a romantic pairing, per se. Like, in this scene, I see Kiri as Katsuki’s wingman, his bro, the guy who teases him about his obvious feelings from someone, not as the guy he has feelings for.

And for Kiri’s sake, I kinda dislike making him basically Bakugo’s sidekick. He willingly hangs out with the guy, when he wants to, in canon, he doesn’t follow him around and become the butt of the joke, and he has lots of other relationships in canon to draw from, so this dynamic between them doesn’t appeal to me.

Melissa being a quirkless kid like Deku is a great idea for the film, especially since she and David still find a way to help others. They’re a brighter image of the person Izuku could have been. 

Full Gauntlet is pretty cool

Everyone dresses up pretty! The movie suits/dresses are awesome and (almost) everyone looks great. Why Deku is wearing a baggy zoot-suity mess is beyond me, but hey, he sheds it pretty quickly so I’m not complaining. 

If by ‘female assassin’ you mean Beauty Queen. Jiro is gorgeous.

OK the plot ensues! Darn, I could’ve easily enjoyed a movie that was just everyone hanging out and goofing off...ah well, I still love what we got.

This villain does what neither Tomura nor All for One could ever do! Subdue All Might! My god he’s a criminal mastermind!

Deku wants to help, and everyone but Shoto basically piles on the bandwagon afterwards. “And me!” “And me!” “Me too!” “And Me” “Nobody cares Mineta.” I like how they bring up the Powers dilemma, since that’s a big deal in Season 3.

I was pretty impressed by the amount of level grinding our heroes had to do to make it to the top floor. 200 freaking floors, that’s impressive.

Todoroki saved Bakugo! Yay! BTW I love all the tactical planning stuff in this portion, and how lots of characters get to contribute.

10 little superheroes, trying to save the day. Two got lost and then there were eight.

8 little superheroes, escaping from the garden. One saved the others and then there were seven.

7 little superheroes running against the sea, four were trapped by robots and then there were three. (i don’t count mineta). 

Three little superheroes, reached the top and flew; one had to float them so then there were two. (she’s fine, Bakugo saved her. Save to win!)

Two little superheroes, faced with a gun. One fell out the window and then there was - never mind, she saved him, he’s fine.

That was fun. Anyway, to sum, the group gets split up as they work to get to the top, leaving only Deku and Melissa to reach the final boss dungeon. Highlights include the usual Kamijiro bantering, Todobaku making an awesome combat move, Uraraka standing against the coming onslaught of robots in a weirdly dramatic scene, and Reciproburst.

Dislikes include Kirishima being portrayed as not much use and kind of stupid (c’mon, he can do better than that!) and Uraraka not getting to kick any real ass other than floating Melissa and Deku. 

So we make it to Dramatic Plot Twist Tower and find out that David set up the whole thing. I joke, but I actually didn’t see this coming the first time around and was genuinely surprised. I also think it fits really well with the story they’re telling here: about trying to hold onto the past and forgetting to look to the future. I usually measure good plot twists in terms of how they change the story, characters and themes, and this one does.

On the other hand, Sam betraying him is just kind of silly. “Oh no, not...that guy!”

The villain being named Wolfram makes me wonder if there are any secret Buffyverse fans on Bones’ writing staff. With the next movie’s villain be named Hart?

I love how Melissa is a quirkless character who gets to save the day every bit as much as the powered ones. Also, Deku is freaking awesome in this scene, ngl. It has vibes of his fight with Muscular, that “pinned by an unstoppable wall” thing.

And this has vibes of Deku vs Overhaul trying to save Eri. OMG S4 IS GONNA KILL ME. Anyway Deku tries really really hard to save David Shield and does lots of cool leaps and gets beaten up while doing it, enough to earn some of Wolfram’s respect, but is unable to. Fortunately...

Watashi Ga Kita!

But then...duh duh duh! Wolfram has that power-enhancer-plot MacGuffin! Actually, it’s not a MacGuffin now, because now we the audience kind of care about it. It has weight, it’s significant. The characters care about it, but there’s more to it than just being an interchangeable object.

I LOVE how they animated the metal on this guy. That’s Metalbending. OMG. 

Class 1-A showing up and kicking ass as always. I just wanna quibble for a second with how this movie uses Howitzer Impact: a giant mind-blowing explosion in manga canon, a small underwhelming fizzle here.

DUH DUH DUH DRAMATIC PLOT TWIST. Again this one floored me the first time around. My jaw actually dropped when AFO’s theme started playing. Holy crap WHAH How what how. I’m not as excited about this plot twist, as it basically just happens for the sake of being shocking, but hey, that is clearly something AFO would do, and I like seeing him and hearing his theme here anyway, so who cares. Just roll with it!

And now, the reason this movie was made and the premise behind it. We never, in the canon of the manga, actually get to see All Might and Deku fight the same villain at the same time, so the movie I think was made for that purpose: DOUBLE DELAWARE DETROIT SMASH + YSR

OH YOU SAY RUN. You could soundtrack a scene of people sitting around staring at the wall and turn it into the most epic thing ever. I will never get tired of this beautiful, peerless, impossibly good composition. And this is honestly one of my favorite YSR scenes, because dayum, you can’t get much cooler than the Double DD smash. 

Visual storytelling here is on point. David Shield’s image of All Might turning into Deku is perfect.

We end on a sunrise, fittingly, and Long Hope Philia sountracked credits - with a small bit of depressing to end on, as we see David is probably gonna get arrested and All Might can’t do nothing about it.

Two Heroes is great. My quibbles with it are all minor. It’s the perfect first movie for BNHA; it is big and bombastic and action-packed, but more important, it gets what MHA is about at it’s core. BNHA is a story about the prior generation of heroes (and villains) passing the torch down to the next one. You know, like how teachers pass info onto their students in Academia. The movie gets that, and it delivers it with aplomb. It’s a great script, every scene and moment is necessary and everything happens in the right place and right order. It’s a thrill to watch, and I can’t even begin to imagine what insane stuff they’re gonna put in Movie #2 BKDK Boogaloo. Starting S3 tomorrow!

BKDK CORNER:

On a rewatch, I’m a little more OK with this scene, because Deku pretty quickly bucks up and takes the challenge - and he doesn’t exactly cower from Kacchan, Iida just gets in the way. I also love that gay sounding “Kacchan, people are watching!” line in the sub. 

All of Deku’s Love interests where white flowers on their fancy wear.

NGL this is my favorite part of the movie. That is the sweetest, softest, most endearing smile Bakugo has ever had, and Todoroki seeing it and smirking is just perfect. Baku is peak Tsundere in this scene.

RANKER: The Formal Wear

Girls:

4. Momo - I like the tiara, and the dress is kind of a nice color.

3. Melissa - pretty but a little birthday cake-y.

2. Ochaco - Very cute and well-tailored. The tights really sell it.

1. Jiro - unconventional is the winner of the day here.

Boys:

6. Izuku - Deku where the f did you get that suit? Take it off, please. Why is your taste in clothing so bad.

5. Kirishima - it’s ok, but a little generic.

4. Kaminari - the waiter look isn’t half bad on him

3. Iida - sharp dressed, of course. It looks nice!

2. Todoroki - perfectly handsome, and of course his suit is white.

1. Bakugo - that vest tho. damn. 

[soysaucevictim]

First week of new stuff.

(And having a hard time for different reasons...)

-

June 27

Somehow managed to get up before 11AM.

Played Gemcraft for a few hours before making today’s HF Dinner. Steak with mushroom cream sauce. Dad enjoyed it and I liked it well enough. Pretty happy with that and getting the dishes taken care of afterwards.

After a bit of time to digest my food, I went into today’s exercise.

First, today’s DD. 40 reverse angels with EC. Took a bit of mindfulness to negotiate floor space. Hand clipped against desk and chair leg once each... but oh well. Kept the arms above floor. Just about doable.

Second, Day 1 of the 1′ Cardio Challenge. I think this would be a good bit of cardio and warm-up for my program work. Today was 1′ jumping jacks. Managed it in one go, with 69 reps by the end. Will endeavor to track my performance like that for the whole thing~

Last, Day 1 of the Xpress Tone Program. This is a weight-training program. Grabbed my brother’s dumbbells, couldn’t find the 3 lbs plates so I just went for 2x5 for each hand. Wasn’t sure if I should do it circuits or straight sets, but the way the page is formatted made me settle on former (IRONBORN did explicit straight sets.) I also endeavored to record my “to fatigue“ numbers here.

Alternating bicep curls: 30-26-20-16-12

Tricep extensions (I liked that we could brace the elbow for this one, these are always a bit hard on ‘em): 10+10, 8+8, 6+6, 4+4, 4+4

Spent some time chatting and wound up pulling an allnighter playing KH.

-

June 28

I spent a few hours this morning to finish playing some KH. And cleaning up after Dad made a mess with some food. Sleep deprivation probably didn’t help with my headspace, was irritable and anxious about Dad’s decline from lapsing on his meds...

I then took a couple hour nap, before exercising.

First, today’s DD. 1′ raised arm circles with EC. I counted 118 reps by the end. Very close to 2/sec. But still a relatively breezy one.

Second, Day 2 of the 1′CC. 1′ butt kicks. One go, 140 reps. I was happy I managed to stay over 2/sec with this one. That was a pretty brisk pace to go at!

Last, Day 2 of the XTP. Leg day, particularly aerobic on top of the challenge.

Forward lunges (I chose to alternate sides): 30-24-20-16-14

Goblet squats (wound up with the same numbers): 30-24-20-16-14

Because of the hour we started and my headspace (was rattled by bro yelling at dad), we didn’t do a double feature tonight. Just watched a documentary about the Fyre Festival... it was fun to just be entertained by that travesty.

Spent sometime on YouTube before sleeping. Red zone... but before 3AM was a modest accomplishment, by recent standards..

-

June 29

I somehow woke up a bit after noon.

I spent most of my day BSing with Gemcraft because I’ve been having pretty bad brain days thanks to mistake the VA made with Dad’s meds a bit over a week ago. He’s been so restless and unfocused - he couldn’t play cards, today. (I didn’t really want to, and I had I feeling it would be futile as a distraction for him... but I felt I should try, it was Grandma’s idea.)

Took some willpower to get on with my exercise, given that...

First, today’s DD. 40 reverse plank kicks with EC (20/20). Fairly breezy.

Second, Day 3 of the 1′CC. 1′ march twists. One go, 77 reps. Manageable one to do non-stop, but it can be difficult to go too fast at risk of slamming the knees against elbows. :P

Last, Day 3 of the XTP. This kicked my ass, in particular, the weighted knee-to-elbows were awkward. My numbers were:

Upright rows: 15-10-8-8-6

Bilateral bicep curls: 8-5-4-4-3

Did poke an outline for a potential future fic before getting to bed. Later than yesterday.

-

June 30

I woke up after 11AM.

As far as exercise went, all I managed to get done was today’s DD. 50 squat step ups with EC (20/20). Just about manageable.

Most of the rest of my day was spent chatting and gaming. Got to bed a little earlier than yesterday, but still in the red zone.

-

July 1

I woke up a bit before noon, today. Somehow.

After a couple hours of circular emotionally taxing conversation with dad... I didn’t think I could rightly muster enthusiasm/attention for anything.

But chatting with a friend and taking the dog for a short walk was nice to break things a bit so I could do my exercise today.

First, Day 4 of the 1′CC. 1′ split jacks. One go, 72 reps this time. Pretty intense pace, happy I managed >1/sec.

Second, Day 4 of the XTP. I suppose it was a rest day, manageable tendon work this time around. Strictly bodyweight stuff but it definitely took a bit of willpower to get through the leg extensions part, swings/hold was a nice relative step-down in intensity though.

Last, today’s DD. 3′ half jacks with EC. I managed to lock in a pace of 1/sec and wound up with a little more than 180 reps.

I decided to spend the next couple hours to distract myself productively by giving the bathroom a deep clean. Exhausting and got to sweating buckets. Though it needed to get done, I kind of regret not going with my bro when he took Dad to the hospital.

Between COVID visitor policies and HIPPA and the circumstances of his admittance - the fucking hospital system has been giving us a fucking headache wrt information. =_=

After the hospital, spent rest of my night chatting and gaming. Got to bed earlier than yesterday, red again, but whatever.

-

July 2

I think I woke up around 10AM. Was half expecting to go with Grandma to check on what the hell is going on with Dad.

Still fucking stonewalled.

Was too fucking angry and exhausted to do much more than game and watch YouTube.

I went to bed in the green zone because I was way too fucking depressed at that point to be able to make myself stay up. Exercise be damned.

-

July 3

I woke up after 11AM.

Did some gaming before making today’s HF dinner. Chicken sausage, couscous, and kale soup. We liked this one well enough, I liked it’s taste but especially it’s simplicity. Given my spoons situation.

After a bit more games and dishes, I caught up on some of my exercise.

First, yesterday’s DD. 1′ squat hold with EC. Slow steady breaths is always key. Took a good amount of willpower to get through it, but happy I could.

First, today’s DD. 1′ chest squeeze with EC. Same note about the breathing. Arms definitely got to trembling in the later half.

Second, Day 5 of the 1′CC. 1′ seal jacks. One go, 68 reps. Having “Rhythm Redux“ play made me find a nice groove.

Second, Day 6 of the 1′CC. 1′ high knees. One go, 150 reps. I’m glad that I could stay over 2/sec today.

Last, Day 5 of the XTP. Arm stuff. I’m going to endeavor to try to continue improving my PBs for this program and did more of the following than from Day 1).

Tricep extensions: 10+10, 10+10, 8+8, 6+6, 6+6

Alternating bicep curls: 34-30-24-20-16

Last, Day 6 of the XTP. Leg day. I’m probably going to question doubling up today... because stacking this on top kicked my ass. :P

Forward lunges (alternating): 34-26-22-18-16

Goblet squats: 32-26-22-18-16

I spent the rest of my time playing KH Re:CoM. Stayed up pretty late doing that.

[quarterette]

Utawarerumono: The False Faces ep 13-25 Liveblog

Gonna just straight up do individual episode comments, since the second half is gonna be denser in content. As with the first half, this is a rewatch and will have spoilers for the games.

Opening Comments: Man there’s not much movement in the animation but its beautiful all the same.

Ep 13:

- *spit take* why are they sending Rulu? IDK if it was because the directors weren’t informed about the whole “baby of the family” detail because I can’t imagine Shis letting this happen

- Interesting how instead being of a secret force that Oshtoru sent, Haku and gang are now the accompanying force to Rulu and Atuy.

- I’ll be pleasantly surprised if Entua makes more sense in the anime than in the games

- oh wow Dekopompo is even worse in the anime, straight-up running off on his own.

Ep 14:

- I like how instead of Atuy catching the arrow the twins have a force field. Granted, it make Atuy even more of a non-entity

- the extreme long shots of the CGI soldiers are really nice. I don’t feel like we see the loss of formations as they come into contact with each other often in war anime

- why are the twins running like that - imo that way too much movement for dainty girls (maybe I’ve watched too much anime)

- wow they totally recontextualized retrieving Shinonon and cut down a lot of potential runtime.

- did they seriously remove Atuy’s bloodlust

- you know open-eyed Ougi is growing on me, him and Nosuri have such lovely eye color

- poor Maroro

Ep 15:

- I’m relieved that the adaptation art makes Raiko look less like Lelouch. Always seemed like lazy design to me, him and Mikazuchi look nothing alike.

- did they introduce the telepaths in MoD? I can’t remember.

- that triple-take of Zeguni dying was just silly. If it were one slice x3 it would have been fine but this... Oshtoru be flexing with that mountain.

- I never really felt calling Witsu an Eva was quite right but with the Akuruturuka.... yeah I see it.

- truly we are in the war arc proper now.

- Heh wouldn’t it have been interesting to have the proxies’ subservience kick in instead of having the twins shield Haku. Oh well missed opportunities. IMO it would have worked well with the accelerated timeline the anime needed to achieve.

- what is with the triple takes this episode

- ah haku wasn’t even able to save them gg

- post episode revisiting the VN comments:

they hint at the telepaths, and as I thought the Vurai razing the city wasn’t in the VN. It was a good showpiece and works with Vurai’s characterization, but messes with Haku’s as a cost - the VN suggests that Haku inherently can be ruthless (he suggests scapegoating Moznu for Anju’s kidnapping, which the anime totally skips over), while it looks like the anime is gonna use this mass destruction as the reason for steeling his heart. I can’t say I hate that the writers chose to have the main characters in the fray, but it definitely requires more suspension of disbelief that everyone got out okay compared to the VN.

- Interestingly we don’t see Oshtoru’s mech form at all. I do like the increased bro scenes between Mikazuchi and Oshtoru

Ep 16:

- Yeah we immediately feel the ripples of that last episode changing Haku’s trajectory... its a logical trajectory but... ugh. I’m not sure how I feel about such a contrary Haku. It wasn’t really a thing in the VN? So frustrating augh. Utawarerumono was never a story big on moralizing about war... and the anime writers aren’t doing a great job adding it in.

- I’m 99% sure they pulled some of Ukon’s lines for comforting Haku here from a conversation they had in the VN waaaayyy back around the gigiri fight, making the scene all the more frustrating. The concepts of powerlessness and loss of life is something that Haku had been introduced to the moment he woke up and had already been working on dealing with. I can’t say its an invalid take that he’d be shook over mass destruction (I mean, most people would) but it’s a sharp deviation from the VN.

- Oh wow they’re totally gonna retool the banquet to deal with haku’s trauma instead of him dealing with his memories of being the LAST OF HIS KIND aren’t they.

- yeah they did

- oh god don’t say the word seduce haku, rulu’s gonna die from blood loss

- lol i don’t remember the twins being tied up

- rulu is dead

- and now haku is dead too. I think only Ougi and Yakutowaruto escaped unscathed.

- this did give me the bro bonding that I had been missing in the show thus far. Not enough drinking scenes! like literally the VN is literally just baths and booze between the action lol

Ep 17:

- ah finally the flashback episode. lol all the crunchyroll comments are like “watch the first season”.

- haku calling his new buddies family... oof mito’s knowing gaze makes it all the much sadder

- Haku:”did you need to go that far” Mito: “lemme do it again with Tuskuru”

- hah “reposition your camera” nice, easy way to not show his face

- heh stares at your sister-in-law’s butt, that’s actually a pretty subtle hint without adapting any of the monologue from the VN that he kinda had feelings for her

- damn this is probably the most complete vision of the future we get in any medium

- hey to be fair the ameterasu blast was mutsumi and not exactly a product of mankind fighting each other - but it does go to show just how little Mito knew about what was actually going down

- to continue with my frustration, we see that haku is called out by his bro that he has a habit of “conceal don’t feel” so it makes his emo bit last episode even more jarring - though in hindsight I guess his depression comes less out of the blue for his friends now - its just that the reason is misattributed

- oof “make up for lost time”

- ooh I like the final scene with Woshis as the delegate to Tuskuru. The VN did fine without it but man what a cliffie for those watching the first time.

Ep 18:

- oof we’re not going to have any shinonon/kiwru antics are we

- man I can’t wait to see Benawi - he was my favorite chara in Uta1 after Touka

- wow they really did just ignore the fact that Kiwru is the prince of Ennakamuy and cut him out of the party

- dugh never mind I don’t like ougi’s open eyes here

- speaking of ougi they totally glossed over his role as reconnaissance

- and have they even mentioned that nosuri is trying to retake their clan’s name?

- cocopo still best bird

Ep 19:

- of course you’ll be sweaty haku, boro boro only wears that brown undershirt in tuskur smh

- i love how all of the dads we see dote on their daughters so much

- of course only now do they mention the fact that atuy and haku are drinking buddies and we just have to take it at face value

- actually seeing those sailor uniforms in action make atuy’s regret that much funnier, the stills don’t quite do it justice (though really, it’s the sound effects carrying the team)

- lol the background soyankekur antics are great

- cocopooooo noooo damn this romance with mukkur is great

Ep 20:

- huhu woshis was allowed down to the underground garden huh

- benawiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

- dang they didn’t use the hot air balloon ;-; so disappointing like if they do it this way they won’t even get to retake the supplies ;-;

- i guess its a good way to hint at kuon’s identity

- something is wrong with kurou’s face

- also where the fuck is nosuri - i know kiwru is a lost cause for this show but nosuri too? they really are trying to wipe out the tactics seen in the VN

- i do think the line about kurou’s line to kuon about “ripping the country in half” is nice - can’t remember if it was in the VN but at this point most of the good lines seem to be coming out of the VN

- ugh the twins are such a cop out, still think they should have went with the hot air balloon strategy

- we hardly knew ye mito

Ep 21:

- dang I’m pleasantly surprised by these CG soldiers

- bye bye munechika, still salty you can’t turn into a mech

- oof “I’m sure my mom was someone like you” this show lives and breathes on dramatic irony

- bye bye anju, what was the point of actually having oshtoru there when the tea was delivered? makes him seem more incompetent than he is, though entua was nowhere to be seen - imo for the best

- oshtoru, an honorable man through and through, giving up your mask, lowkey too honorable for your own good

- okay one of my favorite things is how regularly dekopompo is ignored during the generals’ council meetings; overlapping voices isn’t really a thing in the VNs due to its nature as a written medium first and foremost

- oh interesting Oshtoru’s men are coming to defend him that’s new

- oh no torture time ;-;

- post episode VN notes: ugh they also dropped the Woshis power grab of locking Dekopompo and Raiko outside of the gates

Ep 22:

- Yes go be a dad Yakuto and stop Nekone from doing stupid shit please oh please oh please

- Man they are seriously retooling oshtoru’s downfall aren’t they - wish it didn’t come off so crudely planned. Like, y’all know Oshtoru is loved by the people, did the generals not think some sort of rioting would happen if you let that info go public? Granted the original plot of having Entua sneak the info out is pretty contrived... but at least it better preserves the perceived competency of the generals by forcing a smaller timeframe in which everything goes down.

- man people watching this will be so confused next season when they realize Kiwru is a prince

- wut Kuon you should know you probably won’t be able to get info to the princesses once y’all leave. Good that Shinonon is going on ahead to Ennakamuy though.

- eh are they’re gonna try leaving by sea this time? even though Ennakamuy is in the mountains?

- secret tunnel ~ ♫

- aw no Evenkuruga reveal for Nosuri and Ougi. Though, I guess the anime never established that their base was in the Hakuorokaku basement...

- you know, since they just generalized the jamming barrier it’s kinda nice to see that the gang had to sneak in the hard way. IMO that’s one of the “game design justifies the plot” moments - the VN tries to keep everyone together so you can have all your unit options when fighting, but let’s be honest smaller strike teams work at times.

- oh hi Honoka, you’re not arrested here? guess not.

- oh god have they been translating Atuy’s “onii-san”s as “mister” this whole time? I can’t say that “love” was a better translation but that’s just tragic

- I wish we got more hints that haku actually has been doing some training (aka the SRPG parts of the game) rather than these random moments of competency and knocking out the guards.

- good god oshtoru your honorableness is gonna be the death of you. how can you trust Vurai. Seriously idk how it’s gonna turn out here, but Vurai literally wants to see Anju dead in the VN.

- ok i lie splitting the party was a terrible idea. they are taking way too long to convince oshtoru to take a stand. these men are way too stubborn. jk its fine

- whelp there goes the boat

- aw yeh Yakutowaruto lets go

Ep 23:

- Yakutowaruto continues to be a badass

- ugh and of course Oshtoru gets hurt, and he’s not gonna tell anyone

- ok I’m enjoying how acrobatic these twins are

- the plot change ripples continue to be seen; there’s no distractions at the gates since dekopompo is inside the gates. Raiko’s strategy stuff does make for good tension tho.

- ugh the fact that Soyankekuru is in the capital is gonna complicate things. The moment Atuy is seen to defect he’s screwed. That’s gonna change the timeframe of things second half.

- lol Kuon god powers time, hope there weren’t too many casualties. Poor Nosuri now has two sacks of people to deal with...

- ok I feel like I’m seeing more poor art quality this episode

- wow it seems that everyone’s on board for some arson today

- bruh don’t take him through the sewers Oshtoru’s wound’s gonna get infected

- oh god who thought it was a good idea to give Rulu a blade.

- Cocopo best bird. Period. MVP.

- Soyankekuru, what a guy.

Ep 24:

- ooh mech fight in the city? oh nvm its just a sword fight. a sword fight between two beasts. thank god vurai ain’t that dumb

- wait they said there was a barrier in the palace, but i don’t think there was a barrier for the outer walls? why the frick didn’t the twins just teleport out for the last bit? they were pretty close to the gates... unless they needed the gates open anyways?

- vurai? not dumb? scratch that, good god do y’all not care about the safety of the people? guess not cuz it’s MECH FIGHT TIME (ok, if we’re honest oshtoru’s the one who initiated so yes he’s equally dumb)

- water vs fire, groudon vs kyogre, this is what animation is all about YASSS

- the twins’ shield is too OP

- haku please stop indulging Nekone

- will the twins actually be able to seal Vurai? they were kind of trash at doing their job in the VN (though they did have the good excuse of being exhausted for this particular instance)

- ok that nekone running sequence is jank

- damn haku blocked that punch? oh no he’s on fire

- looking like nekone’s “it was my fault” is gonna be part of a cascade of setbacks rather than the final blow. I’m kinda glad - the VN’s take was probably the most exasperating part of the whole story - gutwrenching but also made me want to punch her. I’m up for arguing whether or not taking that away was a good thing

- oh no the salt. no. how could you put it at the post-credits scene.

- vurai’s confirmed dead? that could be a problem next season.

Ep 25:

- dang what an opener giving us no info just kuon looking sad. we had emo haku now get ready for emo kuon i guess

- nuedori is probably my favorite song after kimi ga tame, such a good song to overlay the time skip over

- man anime viewers must be so confused. like they saw Haku and Oshtoru get out of town but only Oshtoru show up. man this is so effed up.

- no not the fan noooo augh  brokoro in the kokoro

- sad nekone really sells it doesn’t it

- dang I knew Ennakamuy was surrounded by mountains but I guess the anime went and interpreted that as a CRATER

- at least kuon didn’t leave until later in the night?

-i know the twins did a spell in the VN as well but seeing the visual change between haku and oshtoru is a bit silly

- what’s with the flower field that’s so cheesy

- i can see why someone said laughed rather than cried during this particular use of kimi ga tame - the alternating shots to his saltification is just silly, there’s so many prettier shots for showing people dissolving - like the VN gave you a very serviceable “standing on a cliff as the sun rises and you fade into dust” why didn’t you take it

- side note in the VN i was imagining it something like this scene from CCS but different lighting (sorry I could only find the english dub on short notice, timestamp at 1:13:24):

- also how could you get everyone off model during such an important part

- you know what I’m just gonna pretend that there was some really bad production crunch so they had to do a rush job smh

- i do like this orchestration tho

- oh god the cheese never ends, now it’s raining

- that said it’s not terrible, but definitely missing something compared to the VN

- haha with some of your decisions next season you might just end up in Denebokshir Haku. jk we all know how it ends

- boro boro ;-; yes go hug your kid she needs all the comfort she can get

[twilightvolt]

And so, another year has come to pass.....almost. ^  ^

Remember when i said i was branching away from Digimon back when i drew up Venom fanart? y’know, “I wanted to be more than what i used to be.” that being “a Digimon artist.”

2019 was basically just that. lots and lots and LOTS of fandom hopping.

If last year was me recovering from the pain and crippling anxiety of 2017, then this year was me finally getting up again, learning to stand up and live for myself rather than in fear of those i shouldn’t care about anymore. life still hasn’t been too kind to me even though, compared to last year, we’re in a better space. but i’ll get into more detail about that while i go through everything month by month on the clock.

Before we begin, if you’d like to see the previous years, here’s the links!

2018:https://twilightvolt.tumblr.com/post/181732950569/i-kinda-was-saving-this-for-when-i-had-the-time-to

2017:https://twilightvolt.tumblr.com/post/171806337539/a-3-month-late-art-summary-featuring-art-that-i

Might wanna grab your popcorn, my dudes. this is a long one.

January: On the Web

Coming out of 2018, things were pretty ok if i remember. i don’t remember much from this month aside from a few doodles i did like this one from when Spiderverse was the hottest thing. this was one of the last things i drew in my old style. before i decided to officially change things up in the next month.

February: Gotta Kick it Up

Pokemon Sword & Shield were announced and things were hype! oh, how things soured as the months went by. lol

But yeah, this was me taking that experimental sketchy pencil style from that Smash Bros. drawing and rolling with it all the way! it’s become my new go-to style and even though it’s still hella sketchy at times, i feel like it looks better in comparison to my old ink outlined drawings.

March: The Overdrive Dweebanoids

Oh right. my old Ben 10 phase that lasted for a millisecond in 2016 returned with a vengeance. and it was glorious. lmao

It spawned an AU that i didn’t delve into much, but if i ever get that spark for my favorite alien watch bearer, i’ll get back to it.

April: True Blue Lizard Bois

My Ben 10 streak continues and i was crankin’ out art left and right for it. i luved all the “doodle dumps” i made, but this drawing was wholesome and i picked it because of that.

To some extent, this could be a comparison between my past and my present. that being Overdrive!Ben being what, at the time, was my current obsession while Digimon!Vivi was a representation of where i used to be, back when i was starting out and entering Digimon OCTs on Deviantart.

May: Return to the Realm of Sleep ~HD ReMIX

Now THIS i feel was one of the grandest drawings i’ve done this year. hell, i even made a wallpaper out of it.

like, it was just a redraw of an old drawing from 2017. but to me, it was a way to tell me just how far i’ve come since then. and i couldn’t be happier.

This was also the month i rebooted my DA after a long time of inactivity!

....Iiiit didn’t really work much, but i’m still working on it. though i highly doubt it’s worth it considering most of the ones i used to hang with there are either people i don’t wanna associate with or people who left while i was gone. seriously, it’s a ghost town there.

June: Art Fight 2019 ~Dreams Vs. Nightmares~

Ahh, my second year of Art Fight. for this year’s event, i wanted to be a tad more grandiose. like drawing up this banner. i like being extra and stuff even if it kills my drawing hand, so yeah. lmao

...

Florida thunderstorms are friggin’ terrifying. idk HOW anyone can get used to that.

July: - BREAK DOWN -

Oookay, it was hard picking my favorite attack this year cuz i pretty much was satisfied with all of them. but i had to go with this attack because the artist i drew it for was someone i really admired for years and i’m just happy i could finally have an opportunity to draw them something. like, i luv how it came out, so yeah.

This was also the month i forced myself to finally do the thing and let go of the constant fear i felt towards certain people i used to hang with. while remembering 2017 will never NOT hurt, i can’t let that fear rule over me forever. i have to take control and not let it stop me from doing what i want. and that’s exactly what i did.

August: Ricky ~Sapphire, Emerald and AlphaSapphire

Oh yeah! after Art Fight ended, i returned to Pokemon randomly cuz i wanted to go back to my roots for a moment. revamping Ricky, formerly Ragna, and Yagami was something i’ve been meaning to do for awhile and it reignited a waning love for a series i started growing distant towards since Gen VII.

I used to really like Ricky’s old design even though i barely ever used him. but i guess this just shows how much more original i’ve gotten in terms of character design. ^  ^

September: Heartbeat Inferno

Now, i haven’t really talked much about what’s been going on life wise for most of this post, but trust me when i say irl, things weren’t really.....happening. like, it’s hard when you live (or rather, lived now) in a place with little job opportunity and you have NO experience whatsoever. the lack of progression must’ve hit something in me, so the week i drew this was me just....shifting moods, feeling everything at once. one day i’d be agitated as hell, the next i’d be so depressed i took a some odd hour nap and didn’t wanna get out of bed. like, for most of this year, i haven’t felt this stressed out and frustrated with myself. so this sudden crash was kind of....unwelcome.

But this drawing was a fresh change though, if i’m being honest. i’m not usually this uncaring about how clean the coloring job is, but i like it! i’d choose that other drawing i did for my friends’ birthdays, Skirmish at the Cable Club, but this one had a more personal drive behind it.

October: - PAPERMOON -

beastarsbeastarsbeASTARSBEASTARS--*COUGH COUGH AHEM* I MEAN....hai. :D

Continuing with my Pokemon shenanigans, i drew this big piece which was something i had in my head for years now, but never actually acted upon it cuz i always felt it was too big of an idea to work on. i’m happy i’ve managed to capture what i envisioned originally.

As for interests, i’m sure most of my current followers can deduce that i quickly shifted gears to Beastars as soon as the anime was released and so far, i regret nothing. it’s spawned a metric butt ton of new art from me and the way i see it, this phase ain’t stopping as long as this series continues. brace yourselves fam, i believe i’ve finally found the successor to my Digimon phase. lmao

Like, damn, i had a tough time choosing art for this month. i was stuck between this, - SMILE/WILD SIDE - and Slip Into Madness. so many good drawings i was satisfied with, y’know?

November: The Future is Now

I was SO planning on putting something else here, but then suddenly i just kinda had this urge to redraw that uggo gouache painting of Miyagi from highschool. and it turned out so good that i had to. like, really. lmao

As with the redraw of Dream Drop Digital’s key art, it was a reminder of how far i’ve come since then art wise. and i feel like i’ve accomplished so much this year because of it. ;w;

December: Winter Lights

And now we’re back to the present time. after over a year or so of living in Florida, we’ve moved once again back up north a bit. yet another clean slate, but things seem to be looking up despite the rather large bumps in the road the past week or so. lately i’ve been feeling that seasonal depression starting to set in, but i think i’ll be fine as long as i stay positive. cuz y’know, it’s not being happy all the time. it’s just knowing that things will get better someday.

One of the other reasons i drew this drawing was cuz i REALLY wanted to have something Beastars related on this clock. this series (and Legoshi in particular) really inspired me, so i had to leave a wedge open for my boi.

Looking back at the beginning of this decade (as 2020 would mark the next one), i realized that the 2010′s were basically me becoming more artsy. finding enjoyment for a new hobby that quickly became something i’m now more passionate about than video games which i didn’t think would EVER be the case.

Funny enough, it all started in the RP section of a little forum for an MMO called Wizard101. i was only in middle school at the time and, to tell you the truth, i had no idea i’d be going at it for this long. thought i’d just do it on the side but not really delve into the art world more.

But despite all the trips and falls, fandom drama or otherwise, i wouldn’t change anything if it meant i wouldn’t have the friends who’ve stuck by me in the aftermath of those times.

I may not be really succeeding in much, but it’s the small steps in life that matter most in the end. these past few months in particular was me getting fed up with feeling sorry for myself for not doing the things i was interested in in the past, getting over my regret and making plans for starting something new even though i know i’ll suck at first and not worrying so much about how others might perceive me.

And just like how life was changing for our resident grey wolf this first season, mine seems to be doing the same. and i believe this decade ended on a better note than i thought it would during the past couple years leading up to this.

Here’s to a new decade! ^  ^

~ For a future I want to believe in. ~

[specialmindz]

“Sans, take your brother and go to sleep…need to put the croceries away…”

          “uh, pops?”

          Gaster handed Sans a bag of what was left of the groceries, exhausted. There HAD been more, but Papyrus had decided to throw most of them into Hotland’s boiling magma as a “sacrifice” to the “volcanic gods of Mt. Ebott.”

           “NYEH HEE HEE HEE!”

          “Sigh…”

He wasn’t even supposed to leave the lab…

          “dad you’re putting paps in the fridge.”

          “KI-ET SNAS! Dis where he keep da’ milk…”

          “you know babies drink more than-DAD!”

          CA-THUNK!

          “ME HEE HEE! I OUGHT IT SNAS!” cried the baby bones, his voice muffled from inside the fridge. “I OWES IT CAUSE’ DA’ CONTAINER FEEL LIKE A IZARD!”

          SCRITCH, SCRITCH, SCRITCH!

          “CAN YOU HEAR THE IZARD BIG BUTHER?”

          FUMP!

          “HEY!”

          “sorry bro, gotta put these…three bisicles, away. also, don’t scratch on the milk carton, it’s bad for your fingers.”

          “Dis MY milk and I does what I wants with it!”

          “it’s everyone’s milk, not just yours.”

          “NO!” Papyrus spread his little arms and legs out to block Sans from the fridge. “Dis MY milk, go sweep!”

          “i’d love to go to sleep, but first i need to put these away.”

          “Well dat’s very un-for-tun-ate for you big Buther, cause’ I don’t plan on moving out the way. I’ve decided dat dis gonna be my new room. Is close to da’ food AND the milk. Very efficient.”

          “oh yeah? and what about your toys? where are you gonna put all your toys pappy? that’s an awfully small fridge…”

          “Well I’m an awfully small baby, besides...” Papyrus reached down and pulled out a block of cheese.

          “are you kidding me with this?”

          “We both know dis all I need right here.”

          “what about air?” asked Sans, deciding to stuff the bisicles into the freezer. “do you need ai-ewww, papyrus what is that?!” he pointed towards a bowl of…something, not caring whether or not his brother could actually see it. He couldn’t hazard a guess as to what he was looking at, but there were a few clues that told him the baby bones was probably responsible; one of them being that he recognized the bowl as one he’d use for cereal, which meant this thing was DEFINITELY homemade.

          “Daz baby’s food. Not for you. Is like cookie dough, cept’ is not made of cookies.”

          “it’s got meat in it!”

          “Dat’s cause’ is not made of cookies…is made of meat. Meat and milk. Lots of nutrients in there. Lossa proteins and normal teens and calcium and-”

          “stop. stop right there. what do you mean ‘normal teens?”

          “Sometimes is hard to find new puppies.”

“new pup-is this more of your puptart crap?! i asked you not to do that!”

          Those poor dogs…

          “Is not puptarts stink head! Puptarts go in the brave little toaster! Dis Puppydough! Is like cookie dough cept’-”

          “except it’s made of meat, i got it! it’s gross papyrus!”

          “YOU NOT EVEN TRY IT!” shouted the baby bones accusingly. He quickly returned to his smile. “And you’s not GONNA try it…cause’ is mine. My ice cream. Not for you, sad, but true. You can has the Dog Salad...”

          “are you seriously trying to make me jealous of this…?”

          “Try not to get any of yo’ jelly in my noms Snas. I prefer my eats to taste like victory, not your depression-”

          “ALPHYS, PAPYRUS IS BEING AN ASSHOLE!”

          “PAPYRUS IS ALWAYS AN ASSHOLE.”

          “I’M NOT TALKING TO YOU DAD!”

          “You tell Babybop! You tell Babybop and Daddy and even Dirt-Butt, they all gonna side with the baby! They see mah dough and they probly think, ‘Wowie! Dat baby so talented and smart! Only a genius baby would think of mixing milk and meats! If only I had been nicer to sweet widdle Papyrus, then maybe I could have some of dat Puppydough…”

          “*pfft!* is that how you think that’s gonna go?” Sans chuckled despite his disgust. “iiii think you might end up a bit disappointed then pappy. i personally wouldn’t touch that to throw it away.”

          “You won’t touch it cause’ I told you not to.”

          “heh heh is that right?”

          SHINK!

          “WOOOAHH! where’d you get that?!”

          Papyrus narrowed his eyes at his brother whilst clutching a switchblade in his tiny fist. “Black babies always armed…case whitey wants to rumble. Nyeh? NO! NO DIS MINE! IS MIIIINNNE! MIIIIAAAHHHHH!!! NYEHHHHHHHHAAAA! NYEH-HAAAAAHHHHHH!!”

          “sorry bro, but you’re the LAST person who needs a switchblade-”

          THUMP THUMP THUMP!

          “heeey, now you know better than that-”

          “NYEHHHHHHHH-HAAAAAAAAA!!!”

Wailing loudly, Papyrus kicked the inside of the fridge with even more ferocity than before while his brother tried to keep things from tumbling out onto the floor.

          THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP, THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP!

“HEY, WHO’S KICKING THINGS UP THERE?” shouted Gaster angrily.

“HE TAKE MY DOG-OPENERRRR!!! NYEHAAAAAHHHHH!!!”

          “SANS WILL YOU KEEP YOUR BROTHER QUIET? YOU HAVE ONE JOB!”

          “papyrus stop kicking the fridge…also get out of the fridge.”

          “I DON’T LOVE YOU ANYMO-HORRRRRE!!”

          “yeah, sure you don’t.”

          Drama king.

          I can’t wait till he grows out of this.

          …

          …

          God I hope he grows out of this.

          “I JUST WANTS TO EAT HEALTHY SO I DOESN’T GET FAT LIKE YOU-HOOOO! JUST CAUSE’ YOU CAN’T FIND HAPPINESS DOESN’T MEAN YOU GOTS TO TAKE DA’ BABY’S!”

“lemme know when you’re done, kay’? imma go throw this away or something.”

“YOU CUSH MAH DREEEAMSSS!”

Walking towards the elevator, Sans paused only slightly to consider maybe throwing the blade into the lava pits of Hotland, but in the end, he decided against it walking into the Nursery instead. Papyrus didn’t need a knife, he was dangerous enough as is, which could only mean he had taken it from someone else…someone who ALSO didn’t need a weapon, seeing as everyone used magic.

Monsters with weapons are always bad news. Papyrus must have run into a really bad person who planned to use this knife as a surprise attack against someone. That’s all these things are good for down here; fighting dirty.

Asgore really needs to put some kind of fence around the Dump or ban it or something. That’s exactly where dangerous garbage like this is coming from, right there.

But that’s not to say it wasn’t useful to people like Sans.

My ATK is so low, I’m pretty much the only person who needs something like this to protect himself. My bro can’t be there for me ALL the time, and I wouldn’t want him to be. The older he gets, the more responsibilities he’ll have to take on, and eventually I’ll become a burden. He doesn’t mind protecting me now; he’s a baby, he has nothing better to do, but one day…

Sans took a few swings with the knife.

“Nyeh? Snas what chu-no. Nuh-uh. Give me that. That’s not a toy.”

“p-papyrus..?”

Using his wingdings, Papyrus took the opportunity to take the blade out of his surprised sibling’s hand.

“hey i need that!”

“Why? You want to end up a little punk like me?”

“huh?”

“Well I’s very flattered big Buther, but the answer is ‘no.’ Nobody like a copycat ya’ know? Also, how you gonna weave baby crying in da’ fridgergator?! You wants me to catch a cold? You weave the door open too! I could’ve fallen out and broke my widdle head-”

“papyrus-”

“It’d be like Humpy Dumpy.”

“bro-”

“Dead baby. Egg yolk erywhere.”

“would you listen to me?! i need that knife!”

“What for?”

“for protection! i only have 1 atk…”

“You’re not gonna need any protection other than me until you’re eighteen…and given your personality that too is a shot in the dark.”  

          “what does that even mean?!”

          “Means ‘no.”

          “DAD, PAPYRUS HAS A KNIFE!”

          “SHOCKING.”

          Sans glared down the hallway.

          Alright…

“ALPHYSSS, PAPYRUS HAS A KNIFE!”

          “SWING WITH RESPONSIBILITY PAPYRUS,” replied the young girl from another room.

          “SERIOUSLY ALPHYS? DOES NO ONE CARE THAT THIS BABY HAS A KNIFE? HE’S USING IT TO KILL PUPPIES!”

          “Nyeh? What chu talkin’ bout’ Snas? I not make dat Puppydough.”

          “you already admitted that you made it papyrus!”

          “No I didn’t! Is made by puppies…like the spidie doughnuts. Dat’s where I gots da’ idea! Is made by puppies, OF puppies…”

          “it’s gross!”

          Not that I believe you.

          “IT HELPS DA’ ECONOMY! You know how diffi-cult it be to be a baby in Snowdin?”

          “you’re not SUPPOSED to be in snowdin-”

          “The snow be deep as hell big Buther, and the doody dogs leave their doodies erywhere. They gets covered by the snow and then cute babies such as myselves steps in them.” Papyrus lifted up his foot. “Today I’s wearing the baby booties cause’ I go shopping wit Daddy. No shirt, no shoe, no service Snas; but OTHER times I’s in my onesie and I get the brown feets-”

          “then wear boots all the time or don’t go out. killing these dogs is not the answer baby bro, It’s wrong.”

          “But it IS the answer Snas! Dis not the only bad thing they do! Sometimes they pick up the baby.”

          “…what?”

          “They bite down on baby’s skull and they picks me up! They picks me up and they run around and I’s like, ‘PUT ME DOWN DOODY DOG! I’S TRYING TO GET TO DIRT-BUTT!’ and they’re all like, ‘WOOF!’ and I’s like, ‘YOU STUPID DOG!’ and they’re like, ‘WOOF!’ and I go ‘IMMA KILL YOOOOOU!”

“…”

“…There dis one dog dat be useful dough. You remember Long-Neck? He carry the baby waaaay up high; the big peoples be using him to get crystals from the ceiling.”

          “wait, magic crystals? Are you talking about magic crystals?”

          That wasn’t good. As desperate as the Underground currently was for power, Sans didn’t want the false stars on the mountain’s ceiling to disappear. It made him sad to think of all the wishes people had made on them over the years being turned to powder along with them.

          All of HIS wishes…

“Yep! Is got me thinkin’ too…I could use a high dog like dis to get to the sparklies you wants. I could do that Snas. If dat stink ceiling weren’t in the way, I could reach those sparklies and maybe even visit the moon…”

“my wishes…”

“…?” Papyrus looked up at his brother in confusion and then smiled, realizing what he meant. “Don’t worry big Buther. I got chu. I tell the peoples collecting that if they don’t weave the fake sparklies in Waterfall alone, THEY gonna be my ice cream. Yo’ wishes be safe like the womb.”

“uh…thanks.”

I think.

          His baby-isims are so creepy sometimes…

          …

          I wonder though…

          “hey bro, do you have any wishes?”

          “Nyeh? Wishes? Nyeh heh hee hee hee! What I gonna wish for? I’s just a baby! A baby lacks petty big people ambitions and obsessions. All we needs is some toys, love, a cwib, and lossa nutrients.”

          “c’mon pap, there’s gotta be something that you really really want and can’t get on your own. everyone’s gotta wish like that, I know you’re no different.”

          “No different hm? Kay’ then, I wish you’d stop asking me so many personal kestions.”

          “personal questions?”

          “Mm.” Papyrus nodded. “I wish you’d stop asking me personal kestions and stop playing with sharp objects.” And with that, the infant crawled out of the room, all the while making a mental note not to pull weapons out in front of his silly brother again.

Sorry about the wait...and the short fic; like I said on AO3 (and not on tumbler like I should have) I’ve decided to focus more on Fonttale 3 since every time I make these it takes a month and then I wind up with no time for the main fic. So far with this method I’ve managed to finish another chapter and a half, so things are going well.

As compensation for taking so long, here is a special tip (though hardcore Undertale fans may already know about it), messing with the SAVE file like you would to find Gaster in the main game will also allow you to find Papyrus’s Puppydough...and if you screw up the Horror Font has a few things to say unlike everyone else who simply says “Error”

Papyrus’s Fight Error: THIS IS AN ERROR MESSAGE. REALLY!!!

Papyrus’s Puzzle Error: Error, Pepibs. (probably a rendition of bepis, an inside joke Toby inserted into Undertale usually meant only for hackers to see...though they too might never guess it’s a synonym of “penis.” Toby uses it in place of curse words sometimes. Basically, Papyrus is saying “Error, fuck.” in a quiet voice which I personally find hilarious as it completely breaks character).

Papyrus’s Troll (remember the good ol’ days when Undyne was looking to murder you and Papyrus took it upon himself to work together with Flowey to screw you over? Back when he’d call you and ask you what you were wearing and then no matter WHAT you said, WHAT you changed into afterwards, or HOW many times you reset, he’d ALWAYS “accidentally” give her the right info? Pissed you off too didn’t it? Well guess what? There is in fact a way to give them BOTH the finger. If you recall, Undyne isn’t a fan of Temmie Village, she even tells you where it is so you can avoid it. That being said, she doesn’t know shit about Temmie armor including what it looks like. You know where I’m going with this right? Hack your file and pop that shit on before you get that call to effectively piss off Team Cute Truth and get this message):

 HELLO! THIS IS PAPYRUS!!!                                                                        HOW DID I GET THIS NUMBER...?                                                                  IT WAS EASY!!!                                                                                                    I JUST DIALED EVERY NUMBER SEQUENTIALLY UNTIL I GOT YOURS!!!    NYEH HEH HEH HEH!!                                                                                SO...WHAT ARE YOU WEARING...?                                                        I’M...ASKING FOR A FRIEND.

Yes        No

(Picked yes)

SO YOU ARE WEARING A BEPIS....                                                             GOT IT!!! WINK WINK!!!                                                                               HAVE A NICE DAY!

Obviously this immature call was Flowey’s idea, which is understandable since he’s a child AND the one doing all the legwork just to tell Papyrus you’re wearing something Undyne will never recognize. Nothing like revenge colder and more disgusting than the spaghetti your “friend” left outside in Snowdin, am I right?

Papyrus’s Toolshed (If you get into Papyrus's toolshed by manipulating save data, reading the note will result in this message): WHAT!? THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE.

Mortal Enemy Request ( As this comes right after Napstablook's friend request in Hotland, it may have happened as a result of rejecting the request. In the final game, the friend request rejects itself regardless of your choice and don’t worry, the request isn’t from Papyrus, lol):

METTATON has sent you a Mortal Enemy request. Congratulations! You are now Mortal Enemies with Mettaton. COOLSKELETON95 has posted a comment on this change. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU TWO! WISH YOU A LONG AND HORRIBLE RIVALRY. You rejected the request. METTATON has sent you an invitation to "Die." RSVP? Respond Ignore

Another small apologetic gift you may find interesting... You remember the guy from room 272 right? The inaccessible room?  It’s also known as room_water_redacted if you don’t recognize the name. When you get closer to this guy he fades, and, when spoken to, says "* [redacted]" in Wingdings. This NPC represents one of two theorized sprites for Gaster and you can see why...it looks like his face has melted off though his body looks fine. "Premonition" plays in this room too by the way. If you leave through the south exit, you enter the sound test room, room 270. One of the four playable songs in this room IS "Gaster's Theme" and when the protagonist attempts to exit the room, the game crashes (big surprise). If the protagonist chooses to play "Gaster's Theme," they can select no other song.

Why am I mentioning this?

Well, among the lines for the garbage dump and Napstablook's house, there are a few lines implying there was a horse stable somewhere in Waterfall and that’s not all, look at the message.

* (It's a horse stable.)

* (Do you want to go&  inside?)        

Yes         No  

* (You jostle the door.)

* (It's locked.)

* (Suddenly, from inside the [redacted], you hear a

Interestingly, we're hearing a noise from inside what is supposedly the horse stable, but for some reason, whatever it was is replaced with "[redacted]", and whatever it is that we hear at the end is just outright removed (I’d say that it’s weird that the stable ITSELF was removed, but with no disrespect to Toby mind you, it looks so bad when it appears in-game you’d half-expect the video about it to be trolling). This dialogue seems to be triggered by a trash can that appears in Napstablook's courtyard for some reason. Inspecting it if flag 92 (one of the unused ones) is less than 3 will cause the same figure from room 272 to appear inside the stable, and say “*x”

In Wingdings.

To be frank and funny, it’s possible Gaster somehow got himself locked in a horse stable and ended up cursing when we showed up holding the key to his escape. Granted, “*X” isn’t a curse word, but if you recall, Toby doesn’t curse in his games and Gaster, like Papyrus, doesn’t put an * next to his sentences, which is something even Alphys did in her notes found in the True Lab. It’s a looong stretch seeing as it’s only two symbols, but I still like to think he’s keyboard mashing the word “shit.” XD

I hope this made up for the lost time and the time I’ll be taking to focus on Fonttale 3. Damn, I started this post at 12:00 something and now it’s 2:48 pm...see this? This is that bullshit I’m talking about.

Can’t shut the fuck up when I write...

[tiredrobin-scooted]

arthur headcanons (w some general trio ones) evn tho nobody asked. it’s long. talk to me about them if u want. 

i just feel like rambling with a mild aim, so. claps hands together. lesgo

he has ocd

he hoards items as a result, and he doesn’t like people touching his things. throwing stuff away is hard. he has methods of managing it, tactics that help when he knows he needs to reduce clutter, but it’s still difficult.

one of his personal rituals involves the pins on his jacket. he checks them frequently throughout the day to make sure they haven’t fallen off. when he washes his jacket, he has to put the pins in the exact same spot (the holes there are worn open and visible, which makes it much easier). he has a specific pattern when he checks them too, & he jokes that its like those games where u have to hit the buttons in the same pattern that they light up in

violent intrusive thoughts central, babey! often coupled w graphic imagery. hes having a great time! love it

also like. anxiety and depression

sighs. and insomnia. he cant sleep! especially in unfamiliar environments. and he has to turn things “away” or else he feels watched (which i think is from his ocd)

SIGHS. and adhd, while we’re at it. infodumping hours are the best bc vivi and lewis are very good listeners even when they have no idea what hes talking about. (and vivi, although not inclined towards mechanics and robotics, is good at asking questions that help push the conversation forward. lewis has a tougher time but he makes up for it in attentiveness)

he doesnt medicate because finding meds that dont exacerbate other aspects is difficult. he had a therapist for a good while, though, after uncle lance took him in, so he has a lot of different methods of helping himself

and he has rly supportive, understanding friends who also have their own mental and physical issues so it’s like. they get it. Everyone Gets It.

hes a gamer...... 

he likes puzzle games a lot, but rpgs are usually what he plays

not that he plays them OFTEN because turns out he has 20 other projects to work on (haha what do i mean im projecting. dont talk to me.)

also trans??? hes dfab binary trans guy

he didn’t make, like, robo-prosthesis himself, those existed before his amputation, but when he was fitted with his own he either built the whole thing from scratch or he totally revamped the one he got

he has a shoulder port and actually, he’s decided, it SUCKS,

if he isn’t careful about the weather, the metal will freeze or heat up and i mean. you can imagine the consequences

rapid changes in weather and pressure causes pain

phantom limb pain in general is just here. and he

is tired

also hes bi, and poly, and

laughs

but yeah. i hc hes been on t for.... a while? but i have a side hc where he hasnt been on t purely because i get really shitty cramps and im projecting those onto him. u cant stop me. 

and now..... some (more) vivi, and also some lewis stuff, and actually just a buncha general stuff

lewis joins arthur in the depression club. they high five about it

vivi is also trans! shes hella nonbinary. still uses she/her, but like. .. .

shes nb. mayyyybe genderfluid btwn Woman and a smattering of nb identities. i havent made up my mind yet

all of them actually have adhd, ive decided just now. all three of them. its party town, its infodump hours, no one can stop them and no one can stop me,

lewis and arthur bond over puzzle games. they all play mystery games when the desire hits

vivi almost ALWAYS gets first in mario kart. shes just too good

arthur kicks butt at super smash bros tho and can usually win

lewis’s strong suit isnt really fighting-based games. he likes exploration and socializing. theres probably an mmorpg they all play together

vivi is the fighter, arthurs the spellcaster, and lewis is the combination alchemist/healer

theyve probably played dungeons and dragons. i can see them sitting in the back of the van on late nights out, trying to play but devolving into conversations about enemy logistics or game mechanics or like. something entirely unrelated

lewis deserves his own section to discuss this in greater detail but he came from a wealthy/royal background. i have evidence to back this up. i have no idea if other people have thought of this

hes VERY bi

lewis is the mom friend, except he runs himself into the ground caring about other people so much so that vivi and arthur actively have to work to get him to relax and take time for himself. its a lot of work! he just wants to make sure everyone else is taken care of, “which is lovely, lewis, really,” vivi assures. “but you really need to look out for yourself too, y’know,” arthur pipes up.

like you either gang up on him or it just isnt going to work. hes full of love and a desperate need to prove himself

wheezes. he and arthur bond over abandonment issues

ok if i dont stop i will actually never stop, so. folds hands. thanks for listening.

[amnachil]

The College Society Chapter 3 Part 7

I’m back ! Holidays were fun but it’s time to go back to my very serious schedule. (Believe it please).

Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey Monday February 11

The blond lad moaned when he felt the girl's tongue lick his balls. Softly, she grabbed his prick, and put it in her mouth. He grunted. It was good. That's what I'm supposed to do. It was exactly his place. Here, on his feet, while someone was sucking his cock. With an ultimate groan, he came. His dick had a convulsion when he ejaculated. With both hands, he forced the girl to keep it in her mouth. For a moment, they stayed like this. Then, he let her go. Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey was extremely satisfied. I'm at the right place. Yeah, this is me.

"Was it good ?" asked the whore.

"Shut up stupid. I told you, I don't like your voice."

She lowered her head. What an idiot. He had finished a lesson half an hour ago, and decided to take some good time. His timer rang. The pancakes are ready. He let the stupid girl put her clothes back on. They were doing it in the kitchen, because he had these pastries to do. He put them out of the frying pan and tasted one. Good. Not my best shot, but I hope it'll be enough. He had made quite a generous amount.

"It's so hot when you're cooking in the same time." the girl said.

"Just shut up already ! Your voice make me nauseous and I don't want to puke on the pancakes !"

She stood back and mumbled an apology. The Dean's grandson couldn't wait to see Liam. I hate to admit it but... It was as enjoyable as sex. His boyfriend was so lovely, so cute... And I'm worried for Nate. I think he must tell the truth, but I can't force him. It was a real disappointment. Him, Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey, the king of the hunter, couldn't force someone to do what he wanted. Just because he respected Liam too much. Me. I respect this baboon.

"You're still so hard." commented the girl. "I should take care of this..."

"Cut it out ! It's not... I mean I'm not... Whatever, you can't understand."

Even think about Liam was making everything awkward. He told to this bitch to leave, and then put on some clothes. When he looked at himself in the mirror, he pouted. He had always been a chameleon. Sometimes skinny, sometimes chubby, sometimes athletic. As the best hunter, he was adapting at his prey's taste. And for Liam, his frame started to fill out again. He had this bad habit to taste everything he was cooking, and since his boyfriend asked for a lot of bakes, there he was. He patted genltly his butt. As always, the weight made it rounder, softer. Same for his belly, which had a little curve, he noticed. It had been only a bit more than two weeks since he had begun to date Liam, one month since he had begun to cook all those pastries. But I'm not doing any sport at all at the moment. Well, except sex. A short moment, he thought it was fine as long as Liam liked him. But he was the hunter here, not the prey. Stop thinking this way. I'm gaining only to catch him. Yeah, that's it.

Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey was going to his ferrari when Theo came to talk to him. All around, some students looked at them. Especially hunters. The newbies... They all think this was an important war. They don't realise it was nothing but daily life among the hunters. You're always fighting for a meal.

"I'm sure you've heard about my withdrawal." started Theo without a hello. "You won the bet."

"Of course I did." smiled the blond lad. "I gave you a chance to give up before, but you refused."

"Well, Liam is such a special prey... I was desesperate. Of course, D.R. didn't like my last strategy and punished me. I can't come next to Liam nor his relatives. Otherwise, I would be kicked out of the hunters, and even the university. And I'm not allowed to hunt for the end of the year. Will you still try to catch him ?"

The Dean's grandson hesitated. For now, nobody knew about the boyfriend stuff. They all were thinking he was still hunting. But honestly, I'm just happy to be with him. I'm not looking for sex. Which is weird. For a hunter like him, it was a shame.

"He's my prey." he eventually ansewered. "You all know that, so don't approach him."

He knew there were hunters interested. A prey who escaped to Theo and made Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey struggle ? Some people would maybe try their luck. That was why the blond lad had to be clear.

"Well, you don't have to worry about me anymore." mumbled the dark-haired lad. "However, I have a question. Did you do something to Laura ? She said you talked together."

"I intended to but I changed my mind, lucky bastard."

It's Liam fault, again. His boyfriend asked him to not punish Theo. And they had this condition... I'm not allowed to have sex with people he knows. I'm lucky he's not a star athlete or somethin' like that.

"Thank you." whispered the swimteam captain. "I don't know why you decided to be nice all of sudden, but thank you. I can survive without Liam or Nick but Laura... You know like me what she went through. She shouldn't be involved with hunters anymore. D.R. has been clear about it, I'm supposed to protect her."

"Yeah, I know. And you did quite a bad job here. Are we done you idiotic stupid pig ? I mean, I don't like you being so nice, it make me uncomfortable."

Theo just smiled. Such a sexual smile. If I had time, we would do sex for peace but sorry man, I have a date.

Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey waited Liam outside a building in town. His boyfriend had this session with a shrink. God knows he needs a treatment. The guy was believing in unicorns, ogres and aliens. And me, I'm waiting. Not normal. I'm never waiting anyone. He masturbated discreetly before Liam arrived. When this one entered in the car, he had a bad expression. He was upset.

"What happened baboon ?" asked the blond lad.

"Ms. Hang wants me to see my father and to learn from him. I don't like this." explained the freshman. "It's like going to hell to learn from the devil."

"Why ?"

They never really talked about their respectives families until now. I know he has issues, but not much more.

"My mother brought up my siblings and me all by herself. He was never here. She sacrified everything for us. And then, last summer, he showed up and decided to take the custody. They've been in trial since, and he's winning everytime. Even now, I thought Theo's father would help, but it seems like he didn't. My mother will have to pay 800$ per month as child support !"

"Hold on a sec. Mr. Meyers is your dad's lawyer ?"

"Yeah, why ?"

"You're Isaac Stucker's son ?!"

Why Nancy didn't found that ? Bad. Bad. Really bad !

"You know him ?" asked Liam, surprised.

"My father and yours worked together a long time ago. Let's say they have a little argument still ongoing..."

Fuck it. My dad will kill my boyfriend. Let's forget about any form of introductions before he dies.

"You know what ? I'm gonna come with you next weekend to see your father. Will you feel better that way ?"

"Yeah. But I would feel even better if you give me these delicious pancake I smell."

Liam Wednesday February 13

"I got a call from your parents. They said to me they got a letter from your college..."

The chestnut lad sat next to Nate, in their shared bedroom. It had been a week, and things weren't getting better. His bestfriend wasn't eating well, he stayed inside, mostly alone. He started to grow a beard, and looked sloppy. And now Liam had got this call. According to Nate's parents, the university was asking where he was, because he was missing lessons. Which means he's not expelled. It was good news, but also meant the short guy had lied. I just don't know why.

"Bro, you can talk to me, you know that right ?"

"Yes." mumbled his bestfriend.

The unicorns were using her whole power to cheer him up. Nick was doing his best too. But still, Nate looked depressed, and Liam didn't like it. Dami had told him to give it time. According to his boyfriend, it was extremely important to be there and wait.

"Can I get you something to eat or drink ? You ain't eating enough."

It showed. Nate was melting like icecream in the heat. For Liam, it was another source of stress. He felt bad for his friend, and didn't know why.

"It's not necessary." assured the dark-haired lad. "Stop worrying for me, I'm fine."

He said that, but the unicorns could guess a lie. Nate remembered to Liam how himself was after all the stuff with his ex. When he had been sued for attempt of involuntary manslaughter.

"You shouldn't feel guilty." he whispered. "Whatever you did, I'm sure you had a good reason. Please, stop punish yourself, you're the best man I know."

Nate looked at him with anger.

"Maybe you know craps Liam. Just... let me alone please. Thank you for being nice, but I don't need nor deserve your pity."

The words hurt the chestnut lad's feeling, but he said nothing. I'm sure he doesn't mean this. To see his bestfriend like this was heartbreaking. He had tried to bring him to some event in order to take his mind off this darkness, but never succeeded. Liam stood up and left, respecting Nate's demand.

This late afternoon, he decided to go to the pool before his date with Dami. It wasn't exactly date anymore, they just saw each other at least one hour per day minimum and a lot more when they had time. It was hard to manage the lessons, his workout routine, Nate and his boyfriend, but until now, he did. (He had also to feed the unicorns with his dreams, which meant he had to sleep a lot). (They got their magic from his dreams, yes). Anyway, he started to do some lenght when he glimpsed Nick, near to the water, looking scared. I promised to help him too... (Liam had this bad habit to promise things to a lot of people). (Besides, he didn't know how to help his roommate against his irrational fear. He didn't know any mermaid eager to show him it wasn't dangerous).

"Dude. Do you hear me ?"

He turned towards Colton, surprised.

"Sorry, I'm preoccupied and didn't see you."

"No problem, I'm used to it now." smiled his friend. "You're just in my way for my lenght. What's the matter with Nick ?"

"Sorry again, I can't tell."

He had promised to keep it secret.

"Is it because he can't swim ? Rebecca told everyone." revealed Colton. "She was laughing at him until Laura showed up."

Oh. It wasn't good. Why she turned so mean ? Liam looked at her : she was hanging with Matthew. This latter was said to be the next head of the club, when Theo would retire. Once the freshman heard someone call him a "good hunter". What did that even mean ?

"You know... I think I can help him." whispered Colton. "I already teach youngs kids in my town how to swim."

"Really ? It would be wonderful !"

They decided to try. Colton was so nice and considerate. At start, he reminded me of Raphaël but the more I know him, the more I can see their differences. He's just a real teddy bear.

This evening, Liam and his boyfriend had agreed to meet at the second's apartment. The chestnut lad had been there only once before. It was a vast flat in the campus, provided by the Dean. (Dami and this old man had a connection, but he couldn't figure which one). Before, Liam had thought the apartment would be decorated with photos of all the conquest of his man. But it wasn't the case. In fact, it was austere, with only the most necessary. Well, except one room : the kitchen. Dami had such an impressive equipment. (Liam had also noticed a lot of boxes full of condoms. A whole closet to be honest). (He had freaked out a bit, but he had made himself a reason, his boyfriend was a clairvoyant and a succubus). Anyway, when the freshman entered, Dami was cooking some aromatic plates.

"You're early baboon !" he yelled. "It's not ready."

"I never thought you were feeding the army." laughed Liam, impressed by all the food he saw.

He kissed his beloved and took off his jacket and shoes. I shouldn't have worn this jeans.

"By the way, I'm coming in France with you." announced Dami. "I asked the autorisation this afternoon."

They had talked about this yesterday. Liam really wanted his boyfriend to come. But with Nate...

"I don't know if I'll go." he confessed. "I'm worried for Nate, and I don't want to let him alone."

His partner rolled his eyes.

"Look, there's still more than two weeks." he recalled with reluctance. "I'll talk to Nate, and we'll try to find a solution. I think I can even manage to make him come with us in the worst case."

"Really ? You're so sweet."

Dami mumbled something incomprehensible. (He often did, it was weird but cute). (Liam assumed it was visions). The cook put all his plates onto the table. He sure did a lot.

"Dami, I have a question I wanted to ask for a while now... Would you prefer me fatter, or are you just cooking this to please me ?"

He had decided to be straight. He needed to know, not that it really matter. But if he likes me soft, I'll go for it. His boyfriend remained silent for a while. He seemed on the point of screaming. (Vision again).

"I cook because I like it." he eventually replied. "And I'm glad you enjoy it. But your physique ? I'm not a chubby chaser but I'm not particulary fond of muscle and abs either. I guess I... like change. Sometimes soft, sometimes ripped. I would say both can be attractive. Your physique isn't the first reason why I... appreciate you."

He almost said it. He almost said love. Liam blushed. They both did. (The tomato couple, it was a good movie name wasn't it ?)

"So you're fine if I stick to my workout routine ? I have nothing against a bit of belly, but I would like to remain in a relatively good shape."

"Baboon, you do whatever please you. If you feel more confident like this, so be it. But I count on you to be okay with my softer figure too. All the cooking is taking a toll on me, and I definitely don't have time for exercise at the moment."

"I think you're cute." replied Liam. You know I love you."

And again, they blushed.

Barbara Thursday February 14

Irina Peskov was a tall and beautiful young adult. Barbara wouldn't have been surprised if she did modeling. To meet her, the blond girl had gone through assault course. As a senior, she had a lot of work, and Barbara had to take an appointment. For this, she had met three different secretaries from different departments. She doesn't want to be found, I can tell this. And Javier hadn't been helpful, since he had refused to give her an adress. According to him, it was too risky, and Summer could have find out. But after all, I succeeded eventually. Now she was in this little work room with Irina, the previous queen of the university.

"So, why are you here ?" asked the russian after the introductions. "I'm not involved in these things anymore."

"I know, but I've heard you have some rancor against Summer." Barbara confessed. "Since I'm gonna run against her for the next election, I thought you could give me a hand."

Nothing official yet, but Summer would stand, for sure. For now, the freshman had Steve Callagan, Ms. Linda Weber and Amber at her side. This latter had said she was perfect for the role. I can guess she wants to manipulate me, but she'll end up disappointed.

"It's not that simple." stated Irina. "I'm not allowed to do whatever I want. I'm under surveillance."

She probably was speaking about Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey, or his greatfather himself. It could explain why she had shut herself away.

"Well, can you at least give me information ?" begged Barbara. "Nobody will know it's from you."

Irina pouted.

"What do you know about the hunters and the community exactly ?"

"We use it to refer to people who are hunting for sex or power." the blonde girl supposed.

"Not exactly." contradicted the old queen. "The community is a closed group of people who are specialized in hunting for sex, power or whatever as long as their hunt is more enjoyable than the outcome. You for example, you want to become more powerful. You like each stage which make you stronger and better. You can't stop. It's the same for all the hunters, they like the difficulty, the struggle."

Barbara nodded. It was right, she liked the ordeal. The fight.

"In our college, it had been reducted to sexual hunters, mostly because Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey is a perfect specimen, but there are also other sorts. Anyway Summer's what we call a collector hunter."

"Wait. Do you mean there are different names ?"

"Of course, only for sexual content there are collector, alpha, omega, exlusive, voracious, satisfied and home-hunter... And you have to take note of their sexual preference, hetero, gay, lesbian ect... there is a list but I don't have it. Besisdes, we're running out of time, I have a presentation in five minutes. About Summer, her kind of hunter is known to have between three and five partners at the same time. They're all official, which means they don't know each other, and she pretends to be in a relationship with each."

"So if I manage to make two of them meet..."

"Yeah, it would be explosive. Summer can't handle the break-up part, like a lot of hunters. They start a collection, and sometimes, it implode. And before I leave, I'll tell you a name. Samuel Bayers. He was the first boyfriend of this bitch when she arrived at this college, and she never get rid of him, even if he's himself a collector hunter too."

When she left the old queen, Barbara felt pretty proud of herself. It was more interesting than I expected. Now, she could attack Summer personally. She just had to meet this Samuel as soon as possible. She entered her apartment with a smile. I'm gonna be the queen even before the next election if I deal with it well. The youngest queen ever of this college.

"Hey Barb." greeted Jessy. "Your sister came by two hours ago. She looked pissed."

Damn. Not her.

"What did she want ?"

"Well, she asked why you left Colton, and assured you would regret it later." related her roommate. "And she also said she was ashamed by your weakness. According to her, you should've already take down Summer. I don't know what it mean, how can you take down the summer ?"

"Forget it." mumbled Barbara.

I shouldn't have told her I was at war with another girl. Her sister could be quite annoying when it came to make a war. Anyway, she had a strategy and a head start. I can't lose. It's impossible.

Barbara headed towards her bedroom, and called Javier. This little roach answered almost immediately.

"Hey dude." she greeted. "I need your help."

"Well, you know what I want in exchange."

Always the same. Men were pigs. Stupid pigs. She could've asked Ms. Weber or Amber, but it was safer with Javier. He was devoted to her.

"First, did you send to Archie the expensive gold ball I bought ?"

"I gave it to Oliver. He said he would pass it, but it wouldn't change his quaterback's mind. Seems like he's quite stubborn."

"Yeah, I knew this."

She could see he was a dangerous and famous hunter. She expected the same kind of aura from Amber, the captain of the cheerleader, but it appeared she wasn't that much impressive. That's why I need Archie, and the whole football club with him.

"I'll come to your flat." she said. "But you've to find for me everything possible about Samuel Bayers. I need to meet him."

To be continued

As promised, it gets better. A long part again because there are a lot of thing going on.

Damian and Liam are evolving as a couple. It’s weird and confusing but they manage. Our hero deals with his friends and family at the same time. Damn, did he become mature ?

No surprise but Barbara is ploting again. Nothing good will come from this.

There are still 6 part for chapter 3 !

And To the Perfection is back ! Chapter 2 on monday.

[snarkysims]

(Be sure to read Part One first)

This piece is longer and heavier than what I normally post. I don’t plan to make a habit of it. 

Narrated by Jonathan Parry

“Jonathan!” Jerilene called after me. She had to jog to keep up with my long stride, but I refused to slow my pace. I felt like I had been punched in the gut, but really I’d been punched in the heart. I fought with the tingling behind my eyes because I would be damned if I let her see me cry, but I felt the tell-tale wetness on my cheeks.

Jerilene grabbed the hem of my shirt. “Jonathan, please stop.” I complied to let her catch her breath.

“Look at me, Jonathan.”  She continued to breath raggedly.  I ached to console her, but I clenched my fists and jammed them into my pockets. I kept my head down, my eyes focused on the sand. I’d count every damn grain if I had to. She walked around me until she was facing me. She put a sable-toned hand to my cheek and guided my eyes to meet hers. 

“Oh,” she said when she saw the tears shining in my eyes. She slid her hand up to wipe my eyes and returned it to my cheek.  Her breathing was steadily returning to normal. “I should have known you were going to confess your feelings to me after planning such a romantic date. I’ve been dying to hear you say you loved me.”  

I sniffled to dry up the last of my tears. “If you’ve been dying to hear me say it, then why didn’t you answer my question?”  

She sighed and looked away. “You caught me off guard, and I went into a full panic attack. I’m a mess, Jonathan.”

This time, I brought her eyes back to mine. “Hey, I’m the guy who’s going to be cleaning out Sims’s mouths for a living. I can handle mess.” 

“I have issues.”

“I’m the poster child for issues. Daddy issues. Mommy issues. Commitment issues...obviously.”

She sighed. “Please stop making jokes.”

I put my forehead to hers. “Please stop making effing excuses! My point is everyone has baggage. Let me help you carry yours. I love you. For Will’s sake, Jerilene, I know you love me too.”

“I do.” At least she didn’t hesitate to answer that time. 

“Then, it’s simple.” I looked her in the eyes again and said each word deliberately, ‘Be. With. Me. Jerilene.”

“It’s not that simple.” I stepped back from her and threw my hands up.

She closed the distance between us.  “You were right. Someone did hurt me. Michael Harris was my older brother’s best friend. I’d known him practically all my life. Michael was tall like you. People assumed he was amazing at basketball, but he couldn’t dribble a ball to save his life.

“Michael loved math and science. Physics was his passion. He wanted to be a mechanical engineer. Ninth-grade geometry kicked my butt, so Michael tutored me. He got to know me as someone other than Damion’s little sister. We fell in love. He was my first, Jonathan. My first...everything. We were together for two incredible years.”  She smiled as tears spilled out of her almond-shaped eyes.

“You don’t sound like you’re talking about someone who hurt you. You sound like you’re talking about someone you might still be in love with.”

She looked down. “A part of me is. A part of me might always be.” 

I gritted my teeth. “Well, I appreciate your honesty.” 

I turned away from her, but she grabbed my hand. “I want to be honest with you so you know what you’re getting into.”

“If you still love him, why aren’t you with him?”

She said softly, “Because he’s dead. I don’t want to go into the details now, but his life was taken from him. That’s the person who hurt me, the person who took my Michael.” 

A chill went through me. “I’m so sorry, Jerilene. I had no idea.” I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head.  “Sweetheart, we’ve been in an intimate relationship for two years. Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

She pulled away from me to look up at me with her chestnut eyes. “No, we’ve been in a sexual relationship for two years.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but she put a finger to my lips. “You and I came to this college unattached, and we happened to find someone we were extremely compatible with in bed. That’s nothing to be ashamed of, so let’s not fool ourselves into believing we started out as more than that. I haven’t spoken about Michael to anyone at SSU. Not even to Everson. I’m telling you now because I do want an intimate relationship with you. That intimacy starts with showing you my demons.”

I nodded. “Then show me.”

“I’ve always had to manage depression and anxiety. When Michael died, my symptoms intensified. I withdrew from my friends and family, and I only left our apartment to go to school. My grades tanked. I thought about taking my own life.”

“No, Jerilene,” I gasped. I didn’t want to imagine a world without her in it. 

“My mom found a therapist for me, and Dr. Curtis was literally a lifesaver. Along with helping me manage my condition, she urged my mom to get me into formal singing lessons. Singing was my safe haven. It helped me remember the good times with Michael because he loved to hear me sing. The more I sang, the more I came out of my cocoon. Eventually, I pulled my grades back up and got a scholarship here. My plan was to breeze through college and land on a stage in Bridgeport or Starlight Shores. Heck, I’d even settle for Downtown. I certainly wasn’t thinking about falling in love again.

“But you came along. At first, I just thought you were sexy as hell and fun to be with. As I got to know you, I saw how caring you are, and you encouraged me in my singing too. No one had done that since Michael and Dr. Curtis. My feelings for you got intense way too soon for my comfort. I reacted badly when I saw you out with Patty because I was already falling in love with you. I do love you, Jonathan Parry, and I’m terrified if I lose you I won’t recover this time.”

I kissed her soft, full lips fervently. She matched my hunger in a return kiss. For the second time that evening, my cheeks were wet with tears, but these tears were hers. 

Eventually, we both needed air so we reluctantly broke contact. "Jerilene, you’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. And you aren’t the only one who could get hurt. You nearly shattered my heart earlier. Sweetheart, I get that you’re scared, but you don’t have to worry about losing me. I’m not going anywhere. You’re it for me."

“Jonathan, you’re only twenty. How can you even say that?”

“I know my heart, Jerilene.”

“But what if I’m cursed and something happens to you too?”

I laughed. “Then I’ll die a happy man!” Her glare told me she didn’t appreciate my joke, so I kissed her on the forehead in apology.  “I’m sorry about the bad jokes. I swear I’m not trying to be a jerk. And I certainly wouldn’t make light of what happened to Michael. He sounds like he was a good guy.”

“He was. I think you two would have been good friends.”

I shook my head. “Doubtful. It’s hard being friends with a dude when you want to steal his girlfriend.” I leaned in. “And that wasn’t a joke. I meant every word.”

A blush crept into Jerilene’s cheeks. “Mark and Jin-Sang somehow manage.”

“Trust me, those two aren’t the bros they seem to be. I guarantee you they’ll come to blows before Graduation. Jin-Sang is one of my best friends, and even I don’t get why Mark hasn’t already pounded him into the ground. 

Anyway, my lame jokes are an attempt to make you smile. Sweetheart, when you smile, your eyes get this twinkle in them. It was one of the first things I noticed about you.”

“Really?”

“Well that and your banging bod.” I winked at her. She rolled her eyes and tried to glare again, but she couldn’t help breaking out into a smile. The edge that had been in her eyes gave way to a doe-like expression. I grinned at her. “Ah, there it is. There’s the twinkle...it’s mesmerizing. I could look at it forever...”

I trailed off because Jerilene was now gaping at me.  She tried to speak a couple of times, but her mouth kept gaping open. It was adorable. After several seconds, she recovered. “Damn, boy, why do you always talk like you’re in an effing Simlequin novel?” Then, she launched herself at me.

Thanking Will Wright for my reflexes, I caught her and rocked her in arms. “So to clarify...you will be my girlfriend then?”

“Yes, of course! Do you think I would literally throw myself at just any guy?”