#british tv is on another level

[mmkayokay]

Watching broadchurch to fill the david tennant shaped hole in my heart except it's actually really good

Plus david tennant in glasses cmon

[lintillaarchaeologist]

“America has effectively built a Green Zone in our cultural consciousness, replete with the obligatory Maccas. Our imaginations, memories, and selves have been well and truly occupied, and the schizoid psychic agony of mainlining our nation’s duel nightmares is, more often than not, excruciating.”

I Should Be Able to Mute America

wake up cunts new nobel prize for journalism just dropped

[jeanbie]

SWEET UNWIND ★ masterlist.

pairing: levi x reader

warnings: sexual content, unprotected sex, rough sex, creampies, foodplay, grumpy & sunshine, fem!reader, piv sex, silent sex (little dialogue) | wc: 6.1k

note: proudly inspired by the insatiable thoughts i had while watching charles bake his cake and kill people in "the brothers sun". also i got cheated on and felt horny, so turned to my favourite cartoon man for relief

⏤ When Levi's not working, he likes to take things slow, and as of late, he's found that baking desserts is an excellent way to unwind. Yesterday, he made a beautifully sweet strawberry drizzled cake with cream. On today's menu, his personal favourite: cream pie.

Gangnam, Seoul; five to midnight, the city turning in for the night as bold and bright lights flicker to life, the streets lined with neon glows that on the waterfront look like blurry fireworks. While constant lines of traffic come and go, honking and revving at the lights as they hurry to wherever they need to be next, Levi switches off the egg-timer that blares to life loudly and sets it down on the kitchen island.

Behind him, baking in the oven with a warm and golden glow, is the sponge for his lemon drizzle cake. He glances up at the TV screen across the room and watches as one of the contestants drizzles extra veins of lemon curd across a wide canvas of white meringue cream, then looks back at his own display of ingredients. 

First, he heads to the oven and using the oven glove, he pulls down the door and extracts his top sponge layer. Immediately, Levi sets it aside to cool — too hot and the dollop of cream that will spread into his smooth centre will melt and dribble off like water. 

When Levi’s not working, he likes to take things slow, and as of late, he’s found that making desserts is an excellent way to unwind. It’s a simple step-by-step process where the final product produces something he can feel proud of, and something he can enjoy with a cup of tea or even something stronger.

He’s found over the last three years or so of baking that a hard liquor blends well with cheesecake, one with crumbled biscuits as a garnishing layer. Bailey’s accents any type of chocolate dessert almost too perfectly, and even does well inside of one. Last Christmas, for example, Levi enjoyed a whole chocolate truffle infused with the alcohol all to himself.

Baking takes a level of concentration that actually requires very little of him, and being able to see something he’s made all on his own at the end of it all can often be more rewarding than the stakes in the real world, outside of his entirely too fancy penthouse apartment. His job is often too demanding, too vicious, but coming home with a bag of ingredients that will eventually transform into something beautifully delicious feels like he’s turning a switch and stepping out of one life into another. 

Outside, out there in the harsh city, Levi Ackerman is a force to be reckoned with, a danger to those outside of his inner circle. But here, inside his home, his fortress, he doesn’t have to be anybody but himself — Levi Ackerman, the man, the neighbour, the dessert enthusiast.

Now that the sponge has cooled and the decorations have been sliced and prepared, Levi takes to assembling his own version of the British Bake Off lemon drizzle cake. Instead of it being baked as a tray bake, Levi’s followed the same style as Mary Berry herself; circular, smooth and comfortably petite.

He takes the cream he prepared before and slaps it with a wet plop on the bottom layer of sponge, smoothing it out with the flat-knife until he’s satisfied with the coverage. Then, he uses a spiral technique to create a lemony blend to bite into.

He spares a single glance at the swirling iron staircase leading up to the upper floor of his apartment when he hears movement, a simple and quiet rustle of sheets and an equally low-volume groan — a stretch of some kind. Then, he looks back at his cake and sets the top sponge over the finalised inner workings of his cake and gets to work on the pipework and decorations.

It is so easy for him to get lost in the craft. One minute rolls into five and rolls into ten as he perfects the lemon slice arrangement on top of the cake. He even prepared some lemon gratings beforehand and uses them as a powdery layer on top of the smoothed out blanket of cream. Once everything is in place, Levi looks back up at the TV and watches the contestants present their final results to the judges. 

Back and forth — his eyes move from their cakes to his. He thinks his cake would have earned him Star Baker that week, that’s for certain.

Even though Levi chooses to bake after work to dispel the tension building up in his bones, he still doesn’t feel completely satisfied with his work today. The cake is as good as he can get, especially when it’s his first real attempt at a lemon drizzle. But an ache lingers in his shoulders, a buzzing feeling of discomfort in every joint and muscle. 

Today has just been extra hard. One dessert won’t suffice.

After a long haul of tracking down one of the leaders of a local crime organisation known as the Hannam Tigers, and successfully putting a few of his henchmen in early graves, Levi knows that one small cake won’t be enough to satiate his irritation for the night. In his line of work, things went wrong sometimes, even when they were annoyances he could do without. 

The Hannam Tigers operate in a network of highly trained men with highly decorated backgrounds, and even with Levi’s colourful skillset, it can be a challenge to rid them from the world. 

Levi rinses his hands under the tap and uses a cloth to dry them, catching the final portion of the competition on TV before tossing the cloth to the side and dumping his utensils into the sink. For now, he focuses his attention on the assortment of ingredients he’s set to the side to make his all time favourite dessert.

But first, he’ll need to head upstairs.

With what he needs in his hands, Levi escapes the kitchen before it swallows him into creating more and more desserts and then climbs the staircase curling up into the upper floor. Up here, there is a study that he barely uses — not because of his incompetence to utilise it, but instead for a general lack of need, considering he prefers a much more physical and hands-on approach to what he sensitively calls his ‘career’ — a small bathroom and his bedroom, which he heads for and catches a glimpse of the glistening city from the window inside, the door ajar.

Inside, he takes a few steps forward and sets his things down, looking up to make out your shape in the swamp of black bedsheets. He can barely see you in the dark, but you groan and make your presence known, sitting up on your elbows to peer at his silhouette cast by the light from the hallway.

“You finished your cake?” you ask, your voice tired but nonetheless sweet, caring, genuinely curious.

Levi makes out your face in the dim light and waits until his vision settles. Once he sees you more clearly and sees the smile on your face, he nods simply and looks back down at his messy pile of ingredients.

You arch up a little higher to see what he’s looking at.

“Bring any for me?”

Levi doesn’t look up. “No.”

“Rude,” you reply, amused and unable to make out what he’s arranging neatly on the ottoman at the bottom of the bed. “I happen to like lemon drizzle.”

He knows. That’s why he picked that episode to watch, those ingredients at the store. 

“I don’t,” he replies. Levi’s not a fan of lemon anything, really. 

The door behind him creaks ever so slightly, the light widening across the room. You sit up straighter, watching him as he falls into a carefully analysed breakdown of his mystery items.

“Can I have some later?” you ask, filling the silence with conversation. If you strain, you might make out the next episode of Bake Off beginning to play, but you search for Levi’s signature noises instead; his silent yet attentive laughs from his nose, the grunts under his breath, unbothered hums of his attention and or interest. 

Levi looks up then, and rolls up the sleeves of his white dress shirt. His blazer is downstairs hanging off one of the bar stools under the kitchen island, his shoes by the door. Now, he’s just dressed in whatever he came home wearing — there hadn’t been time to change, what with you slumbering like a princess in his bedroom. 

It’s a good thing he likes you, otherwise the lights would have been on and his work clothes off. Instead, he left you to it, heading for the kitchen when he came home and switching on his complimentary British Bake Off episode to accompany him in his regular routine of baking.

“I only made it for you,” he tells you. 

You arch an eyebrow — not that he can see, anyway. “Oh, really?”

He gives you a hum, thoughtless. You rearrange yourself under the sheets.

“I thought the whole point was to eat the dessert yourself after making it,” you say, filling the quiet moment with something as he skims his gaze over the ottoman again. 

He doesn’t look up when he says, “Well, I haven’t finished baking yet.”

“Oh?” you reply. “Something else cooking?”

“Yes,” he says. Then, he rounds the bed slightly from the right and whilst looking at you, he climbs up onto the bed with his knees. 

“What’re you making?” you question, a grin widening over your face as he looms near. You feel his hand just miss your leg under the sheets as he lays his hands flat on the bed, lifting his weight closer to you all whilst maintaining an unnaturally cool composure.

If you didn’t know him any better, you’d think he was bored by the entire exchange. His face is covered in shadows, and yet you can still see the slipping shift of something in his eyes as they catch in the light from the windows. 

Levi’s face reanimates in the city lights, now not far from your own. He curls his fingers around the bedsheet and tugs it down, exposing your legs to the cool shift of temperature in the bedroom. You shudder, leaning your head back until it softly hits the wooden headboard. 

“Pie,” Levi says.

“Mmm. I love pie,” you comment. 

He grunts, another one of your favourite Levi-sounds.

His hand shifts from the bed to your leg. In the dark, everything feels more pronounced; his ever-so-slightly rough palm smooths across your thigh and down your leg, past the knee and down towards your ankle. Once caught in his grasp, he manages to pull you from your sloped position against the headboard and back down into the pillows. He knows you're wearing nothing else from the waist down — all the more reason to tug you down and snatch a glimpse of what he knows is his.

“What kinda pie?”

Levi finds your eyes again in the dark, and you’re not sure if he planned it, but now you can see his face in a spectrum of light. His expression is flat, toneless, yet intrigue dances across his eyes as they wander across your face, down past your neck, and down to the exposed skin of your chest from underneath one of Levi’s shirts you stole from his drawers.

He says nothing for a moment. Using both hands and releasing your ankle, Levi presses his hands against your abdomen, running them up underneath the shirt until he reaches your sternum, the sloping sphere of your breasts against his fingertips. His eyes flick up to yours as he pushes the shirt all the way up over your breasts, and uses his body to part your legs until your knees are on either side of his hips.

The weight of his gaze makes you squirm slightly. 

He blinks. Licks his bottom lip so quickly you almost miss it and says very simply, “Cream.”

Your grin widens.

Levi lowers his face to your stomach, his lips pressing against the skin above your belly button. Immediately, as if practised, your hands jump up to his head of hair, your fingers threading through it as he works his mouth down from your stomach to the damp space between your legs.

A home within a home; a place he loves to push his face into when he’s had a particularly long day.

Levi doesn’t even have to put in any effort anymore. You quite contently lift your calves up over his shoulders, widening them enough to feel his lips circle around your clit, two fingers widening your folds so he can stuff his face with your cunt.

Coating your clit with a layer of wetness, he replaces his lips with his right thumb and moves his fingers, using his tongue to part you down the middle, and making you writhe against the bed with a satisfied moan. 

He’ll admit it to nobody but himself — he’s missed you. You’ve missed him, too, and the way it feels when he rubs his thumb against your nub in careful circles and plunges two fingers up your cunt. Levi could fool himself all he liked with the fantasy that baking a cake was enough to relieve his pent up stress from work, but nothing quite works to ease the burden like a face full of his favourite girls’ pussy.

Levi’s left hand drifts from your stomach to your thigh, smoothing over the top before curving down and round to the inner of your legs, his forearm wrapped around you comfortably and effectively locking you in place. He likes to watch the wetness pool between your legs as he gorges himself on your taste, but today he closes his eyes and closes his lips around you, tasting every inch of you like you’re his own slice of dessert, his favourite kind. Topped and served with a string of elated moans, just the way he likes it best.

“Mmf—!” There’s not a lot for you to say, nothing you can conjure up from the air gasping in your throat as Levi’s tongue licks laps around your clit, his thumb just shy to the side as he leaves a wet present for him to massage into your skin, his mouth very quickly preoccupied by the space neglected beneath. 

As his fingers curl up inside of you, then widen apart, your calves drop as if you’re trying to pull Levi closer to your body, and in turn he pushes his left arm down on your thigh and drags you with a smooth motion down the bedsheets and closer to his mouth. Your head arches back with the angled slope of your back, reaching up off the mattress in a coordinated performance of pleasure, and Levi finds the time to open his eyes and look up over your stomach and breasts to find your face; mouth agape and lids closed, gasping silently into the dark. 

Yeah. Out of all the desserts he could possibly create in his kitchen, he’d probably have to confess that his favourite one was one that could be made in the bedroom. 

Your hands take fistfuls of his hair and feeling the hot flatness of his tongue in the space between your clenching hole and your clit, you find your hips grinding up into his mouth, the slight nudge of his teeth making you squirm even harder beneath him. Levi’s no longer phased by the aching tightness of your fingers woven in a knot on his head. Whenever your fingers twitch and the clutch on his hair tightens, Levi knows he’s doing something right.

Every lick and nip against your cunt is matched by a groan, and as you ride the dampness between your legs against his lips, your voice thins out into a raspy nothingness. Your mouth is dry with the air of the bedroom, your eyes forcing themselves to close when they try and open to peer down at the man snug between your thighs. 

Levi feels a mixture of wet substances around his mouth and on his chin, but before he can grant you the pleasure of cumming down his throat, he pulls back.

The emptiness of the space between your legs is jarring, and almost immediately you sit up. Your hands drop from his hair and fall onto the bed, which you use to lift up your shaking body to watch as Levi leans back on his knees and retreats to the forgotten ottoman. It is only when he rises to his feet to observe the array of secret items displayed for his eyes only that you realise Levi is still wearing every article of clothing he was before. 

“What’re you doing?” you ask him, finally finding your voice as he arches over and fiddles with something that sounds plastic.

You catch the shine of your own arousal on his chin as he scans the catalogue of items.

“Preparing dessert,” he replies.

Your brows quirk, but when Levi stands upright and begins to shake something with his left hand, you feel your heart and its fast beating plunge straight to your stomach. A knot wells and tightens, and you bite a moan back and feel your thighs coming together like a magnet in anticipation.

Levi is shaking a bottle of whipped cream.

It shouldn’t surprise you nor excite you the way that it does. Levi has always had reservations about whipped cream — it should be from a bottle or made in a bowl; exclusively used as a side for a tart or cake slice, as a topping on a pancake, as the twist of sweetness on top of a hot chocolate. Levi doesn’t use whipped cream on his desserts in the same way he does as an accessory to the bake, but today — tonight, it seems as though he has found another valuable use for his generally unused bottle of whipped cream.

“This is new,” you say, feeling your ass lift off the bed as you struggle to contain your writhing excitement. Levi tests the nozzle; a burst of white cream spits out onto his finger, and without looking away he puts his finger in his mouth with all the nonchalance of a chef tasting his dish as he makes it. “I thought you didn’t like bottled cream on your desserts.”

“I like it on some things,” he replies. “First rule of baking is that you never feel afraid of trying something new.”

You hum thoughtfully as he retakes his position on the bed. It should make you laugh with the way he looks down at you while slowly twisting the bottle from left to right, but it doesn’t; it only makes you breathe heavier, your pulse quickening and legs opening as if on automatic and letting him take the space he’s claimed between them.

“They do say that it goes well with pies,” you say finally, watching as he angles the nozzle down on your stomach. The placement, if nothing else, has surprised you, and you suppress a moan of eagerness when he presses down and watches with a newfound intensity as the spiral of white cream pools out onto your skin. He’s cautious with the amount; just a small bud of cream, enough to swallow in just a mouthful.

Levi leans himself forward and pauses just before he can lick the dollop up off your tummy. 

“Clue’s in the name,” Levi replies, and with his eyes boring into your own, he presses his lips around the blob of cream and mouths it up off your body. It is entirely too fast, your jaw slacken as he pulls away, as if gauging your reaction. The yearning expression on your face has the nerve to almost look endearing to him.

He swallows. “Sweet.”

He receives from you something sounding like a whimper. Then, his finger is back on the nozzle and using the cream, he creates a trail from where he last was all the way down to your clit. 

You feel yourself clench when the cool texture of the cream sits in a melting bundle on your bud, and your teeth bury themselves into the flesh of your lower lip, biting down with extra force when Levi’s mouth shifts down to your clit and in one teasingly slow strip, he licks the trail of sweet cream up from your cunt to the wet spot on your stomach.

With his tongue, your back arches up off the bed, your knees by his shoulders. Levi is uncomfortably aware of the pooling arousal between your legs, his own forming tightness in his trousers. Watching you writhe with a glistening shine getting more and more pronounced so close to his face has proven to be exactly what he needed to unwind today, but he’s still not quite satisfied.

He’s not ignorant to the way your hips meet with the empty space he leaves when he moves away again, as if fucking an imaginary cock or grinding against an invisible set of hips. He uses his right hand to press you back flat against the bed and savours every second of your aroused moaning when he slathers your cunt with the cream, leaving no wet patch untouched. 

He watches with only minimal irritation when the cream slips down your folds into a white pool on the sheets — his sheets — but he takes its sliding as a sign to move back in. 

Levi licks the cream up as if it isn’t even there; it’s as if he’s taking gulps of you like it’s nothing, licking every inch of the cream and enjoying the wonders of your pleasure as you cry out above him. His nose brushes against the hidden bump of your clit, the feeling of his hot tongue making your toes curl behind his back, your fingers clenching around the sheets.

Ordinarily, you may have laughed at the sight of his lips coated in a white sheen, the cream on the tip of his nose, but today you can find nothing to laugh about. Every unit of energy is devoted to the tightening clench of your cunt, the tingling warmth growing inside of you as Levi wipes his nose and rises off the bed and onto his feet, right where the ottoman stands as a barrier between you.

He lets you play out your imaginary fantasy, rolling your hips into the empty vacuum of space where he was just situated and uses his hands to undo the belt around his waist. His trousers fall with an effortlessness when he undoes the front button, and he compels himself to watch you stare at him with a lustful gaze as he pulls his trousers down to his ankles. He decides he’ll keep his shirt on — it’s only fair, since you’re still wearing his, albeit the fabric is bunched up under your neck in the way he likes it.

He mounts the bed once again and meets you when you moan expectantly, and relishes in the sharp intake of your breath when he takes your right leg and folds it to the side. You look at Levi over your shoulder, your neck to the side as he presses you down with his left hand and uses the right to hold his cock.

You are once again reminded of how truly lucky you are to have a man like Levi; a man who needs nothing but your cunt in his face to get his cock standing rigid against his lower stomach.

You swallow a moan when Levi pokes the tip of his cock against your fluttering entrance, and when his eyes catch yours, the sharpened edge of his grey eyes staring straight into your own, you can’t catch the cry of pleasure that escapes when he pushes himself into you, feeling you wrap around the tip of him like your cunt is a mouth on its own.

Levi watches you gasp as if pained and he rolls his eyes.

“Shut up. You’re wet enough,” he says in a low tone.

“Hmf—!” And then the length of his cock is buried inside of you, only proving his point.

There’s nothing to explain the way it feels when he’s stuffing your hole: it’s as if he was made for you, a perfect fit to make you whole. Even with virtually nothing to ease the slip into your pussy, there’s no agonising stretch, no painful play — just a wholeness that feels as natural as anything else in the world.

Levi’s fucked you so many times that he might as well claim he lives up here, and each time he makes himself at home, he’s welcomed with open arms and a swallowing gulp. He pushes his hips all the way against you, until the underneath of your thigh is squished against his stomach and you feel the slight slap of his balls against your ass.

He’s never quite fucked you from this angle before, but it’s not unwelcome in the slightest. He wraps his wrist around your thigh and holds the front of it with his hand, his left coming to hold the sinking curve of your waist, which he uses to push you further into the mattress. 

Every time his dick sinks further inside of you, you let out a moan — he moves in and out so fast it’s as if he’s trying to keep your noise at a constant speed, never wanting to be left in a silence.

Levi looks down at you as he fucks, no longer interested in the way his dick disappears into the dripping darkness of your cunt and instead entirely devoted to mapping out the pleasure on your face. Nothing he hasn’t seen before, but everything he loves to see.

His hips rock against you, his shoulders tensing as you clench furiously around his length. Surely you don’t mean to be coaxing him into an early finish — surely you wouldn’t be rushing him along when he’s trying to enjoy his dessert.

The tip of Levi’s dick kisses your insides, but from this angle and the burning heat pooling in your abdomen, you don’t know if he’s hitting your cervix or deeper into your literal stomach. Levi’s fucked you from all different angles in every corner of his house, but he feels extra large today. The darkened edge of his eyes might be deceiving you, the sticky residue of cream still on your skin. 

You’re almost vibrating with pleasure as he fucks you, and all you can do is stay pinned to the bed like a doll and gasp out your praises.

Like most fucks with Levi, he says nothing besides, “Fuck,” in a dragged out, strangled type of way. He likes to make you suffer by dragging it out for as long as humanly possible, just to see you writhe and cry underneath him, your pussy pink and pulsing, begging for him to stop. 

Today, however, luck looks to be on your side. 

Unlike normal, Levi has little desire to unravel you into a sobbing mess. All he wants today is to fuck the brains out of his girlfriend and watch as her cunt fills with his cum.

Levi’s fingers clench into your skin, and for a second he closes his eyes in an effort to ride it out just a little bit longer before filling you up. When he feels your hand wrap around his wrist like a vice, his eyes fly open to look at you; you’re curled up, sunken in the bed, contorted into his favourite shape. 

Levi spares a glance at his cock swallowed up in your hole and watches with pride as he thrusts in and out of the wetness, and after a stuttering sequence of your hips jerking and mouth falling open with the release of some of his all time favourite sounds, Levi devours the sight of white squeezing from around his dick. 

He feels his throat catch. He’ll let you have that one.

Around the quivering clenches of his cock, Levi shudders and lets you squeal until you’ve run dry. He runs his fingers across the width of your connection and smooths the cum between his fingers. Then, without giving you the satisfaction of catching your breath, Levi continues his thrusting which gives him the continued pleasure of hearing you squeal and cry, your free hand reaching to the slip of sloping skin above your pussy as if you were trying to suppress the feeling rippling through you.

Long forgotten are the fingertips pressing bruises into your skin, but each thrust of his dick hitting the same spot inside you is met with an exhausted groan. Finally, when you’ve gathered the energy and courage to look up and around your body at his face, Levi lets slip what you think might be a satisfied smile, and he falters.

Ropes of warmth fill your cunt, and you hear Levi moan, loudly, and he unwraps his wrist from your leg and holds the base of his dick with his right hand. Carefully, he pulls himself out, save for the tip which remains snug in your hole, leaving no space untouched by his seed. He watches with wonder at the way your hole gapes around his cock like a mouth, swallowing his cum up until it billows out. Finally, he slips out of you, staring down at the oozing, swollen hole that is pulsing with cum. 

For a while, he stares at it, breathing loudly as he waits for all of his cum to squirt out of you; it’s like squeezing a cream doughnut and watching the sickeningly sweet contents slide out. 

Levi glances back up at you, amazed that you’ve been bold enough to watch him until the end, and he pats your waist appreciatively before rolling you back so that you’re flat on the sheets, legs apart, cunt wide.

Time to taste.

You watch as his head disappears between your legs, but he leaves no element of mystery. Your body almost jumps up off the mattress when his tongue pushes into your gaping entrance, lapping at the mixture of your cum and his and whatever else he can catch a taste of while he’s savagely licking down there.

Barely having the energy to pretend to stage a protest, you elect for moaning your approval and tiredly rake your hand through his hair again, pushing it from his forehead as you stare half-lidded at the crown of his head.

You lose count of how long Levi remains nestled down there. The only way you notice he’s no longer there is by the way he sweeps his hands down your legs and lays them flat, making note of every twitch and quiver your body makes.

Staring up at Levi and reluctantly forcing your body back up on your elbows, you grin up at him as he licks his top lip and appears thoughtful.

“Yeah,” sighs Levi, sniffing once in the way he does when he’s trying to fall back into his characteristic charade of coolness. “Homemade cream tastes better.”

Unable to argue, you heave out a laugh and meet his gaze.

“You’re fucking greedy,” you say, but that he actually does smile at. 

“So what,” he replies, reaching for another one of the items on the ottoman; a cloth from downstairs that he uses to wipe the mess between your thighs, “we both know I like cream pies. I even shared.”

You flinch when he dabs the cloth against your still-sensitive pussy. You take it from him to finish the honour, meanwhile Levi gathers the bottle of cream and whatever else he brought and never used before opting to watch you shift the cloth between your legs, throwing it back at him in a forced huff. He catches it effortlessly.

“Whatever,” you say, very slowly moving across the bed to the floor. The wooden slabs are cold beneath your feet. “I’m sure your lemon drizzle is miles better.”

Levi shakes his head affectionately and moves to meet you face-to-face when you stand on your feet. He hums when he gets there and strokes his finger down your arm, charming his way into your arms and once he’s close enough to your face, he allows a smile to warm over his features.

He dips his head to greet your lips with a kiss, the first of the day since he left you in the morning.

“Trust me when I say,” Levi says when he pulls away, his expression amused as he croons his finger under your chin and quickly leaves another kiss on your mouth, “I very much doubt that.”

[killjoynest]

[ID: A photo of a man pointing to the sky, where an panel of the fridge from the comics has been added. Text in the image reads: "If nobody got me, I know mysterious fridge in the desert that somehow has power got me. Can I get an Amen?" End ID]

[ID: The Destiel confession meme from Supernatural. With teary eyes, Castiel says: "I love you." Dean, looking unruffled, replies with a tweet from the NewsAGoGo twitter account, "This station is no longer operational. Have a BETTER day." End ID]

[ID: The Oh No Anyway meme made from two screencaps from the British TV show Top Gear. the caption reads "dr death-defying announcing yet another clap with the exterminators going all costa rica". Panel 1: Show host Jeremy Clarkson says "oh no!" with feigned shock. Panel 2: He looks into the camera with a straight face and says "anyway." End ID]

[ID: The 2-panel "turn up the volume" meme. Panel 1 is a motion-blurred image of a hand turning a volume knob up to the maximum level. Panel 2 is a motion-blurred image of Viner Jay Versace crying with headphones on and pumping his fist in the air. The caption reads "when cherri cola gets too polka dotty to go on air but that means jenni cocaine is covering poetry corner for the evening". End ID]

[ID: Griffin McElroy holding up a piece of paper that reads: "I don't know whats in the grafitti bible and at this point I'm too afraid to ask." End ID]

in-universe posting back yet again

and a few bonus ones:

[ID: A meme of the outline of the side profile of a person's head, labelled kobra kid, with a speech bubble to the left. The person thinks: "this is not a great situation" Out loud, they say: "bit shit innit." End ID]

[ID: A meme of Viktor and Five Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy, looking out the window at each other from the driver's seats of their cars with confused expressions. Viktor is labeled "me in re-education after my neighbour reported me" and Five is labeled "my neighbour being put in the next tube over." End ID]

[copperbadge]

Sam, I'm getting in my feels by watching people auditioning on the TV show THE VOICE by singing one of the judge's songs. And one of the videos one of the judges actually starts crying he's so verklempt about how lovely the adaptation is.

And now all I can think about is Buck on the British and/or Shidvah version of some sort of Pop Star audition show, absolutely weeping his eyeliner down his face at some kid rocking the hell out of one of his songs. Or Caleb's. Maybe that scrungy hopepunk version of "Hitsville".

Aw, that's kinda fun, watching people see others cover their songs -- like how Trent Reznor was mildly upset at the idea of Johnny Cash covering "Hurt" but then he heard the song (or saw the video, I don't recall) and had this thought like "Oh -- that's his song now" and was okay with it.

I don't watch reality television much -- I had a colleague who liked The Voice and I tried to watch it so we'd have something to chat about, but I just couldn't get into it. There's a lot of interesting game theory you can learn from some of the shows, but I can't engage for whatever reason, so I don't think I'd be great at writing about Buck participating in that. That said, I have been playing around with doing another Eurovision story eventually, if not a full novel at least a short, because Caleb does keep writing songs for it, it's like his second job now. I haven't quite sorted out how it will work yet but I think it'll be set up so that the National Final winner is given the option of either taking their own song to the semifinals or working with Caleb to have a song custom-tailored for them. Performing a song by Caleb Canto pretty much guarantees the artist will go viral on some level, whether or not they win Eurovision, so it's an attractive offer.

I could see Buck and Caleb getting to jury the Eurovision 2023 national final, especially since Gregory and Eddie are just barely new dads of infants, which makes concert attendance a low priority. I could see a performer covering a Buck Haverd single in part as a way to sass Buck -- you don't cover a song by the artist judging you unless you know you can knock it out of the park. And I could see Buck getting an attitude about it...right up to the moment the artist starts singing. Buck puts up a very convincing facade as a tough guy so I don't know if he'd go full on Colbert Weeping but he might get a smear of eyeliner or two :D

Currently, having discovered that wee Serafina loved his last drop, Buck is working on an album of punk-inspired lullabies. He's gonna call it Baby Rocker.

[themollyjay]

Watch ARK: The Animated Series!!!!

So, I binged ARK: The Animated series today. It's a TV show, which is based on a video game and not only is it great but, I swear to God, whoever wrote this set out with the intention of pissing off the Gamerbro crowd as much as humanly possible.

Stuff that will make the Gamerbros cry and whine like little babies: 01). Main Character is a Aboriginal Australian Lesbian (Voiced by an Aboriginal Australian Actress no less). 02). Main Character's wife is a blue haired women who works as a translator for a humanitarian air organization (voiced by Elliot Page). 03). Main Character is a neurodivergent paleontologist. 04). Main Character's mother was a civil rights activist. 05). There's a plot line revolving around protesting the taking of Aboriginal lands. 06). Another major character is a Chinese Warrior Woman who is also a great big lesbian (voiced my Michelle Yeoh). 07). Main villain is a Roman General (Voiced by Gerard Butler) 08). Secondary Villain is an 19th century British Scientist (Voiced by David Tenant) 09). Tertiary Villain is a female Roman Gladiator. 10). Another major character is a Lakota man from the 19th century who was abducted from his tribe and sent to one of the Indian boarding schools. 11). The Main Character is better at science than the 19th Century British Scientist guy.

Great things about the show: 01). It's very gay. Like, so gay. 02). The characters are freaking awesome. 03). There are freaking dinosaurs. So many dinosaurs. 04). It makes you feel. Just, seriously, it makes you fucking feel.

Cons: 01). Content Warning: Self Unaliving in episode 1 02). This show is fucking violent. Like, I get that there's this whole 'battle for survival' thing going on, but we're talking kind of gratuitous 03). levels of violence. Seriously, half the animation budget was spent on red paint. That much violence. 04). The show is predictable AF. Like, I don't mind that, but don't expect any real surprises or plot twists.

In conclusion: Watch the fuck out of this show, because cons aside, it was freaking amazing. It's not like, Arcane levels of perfection, but if you want a fun, gay, show to watch, this is a great choice. There is also a part too already filmed and in the can which will drop later this year, so we're definitely getting more, and even the preview for Part II has gay in it.

[lilyrizzy]

silly little something about max & daniel watching 'how to build a sex room'. day 6 of the 12 days of maxiel advent calendar for @catofthecanals289

"I think this lady thinks she is much more kinky than actually she is."

It's winter break, which means they are in the middle of the rare collection of lazy weeks, that feel both endless and never quite enough. During this time they can be normal people, can spend days getting tanned- or sun burnt, in Max’s case- and evenings lounging on sofas, cuddled close despite Australia's scorching summer, can drink a beer and watch crappy TV.

Like, 'how to build a sex room.'

Max's head lifts from where it was resting on Daniel's chest to give his scathing review of Melanie, the British host who is strangely obsessed with floggers. The rest of his body stays tucked securely underneath Daniel's arm, where it belongs.

"I don't know baby," Daniel says, shrugging only one shoulder so as not to jostle Max around. His fingertips trace patterns across the top of Max’s pale arms, imaginary tattoos Daniel would like the idea of putting there, if the idea of defacing Max’s skin wasn’t worse. "There are like, different levels of kink I guess."

Max snorts, apparently unimpressed by Daniel's reasonings.

"This, of course, I know," he says petulantly, "but why is she always pulling out her metal butt plug like it is the wildest thing ever. I know even people who are not gay use those. Martin does."

Daniel laughs at Max’s idea of not kinky being his world famous DJ friend, who must have a shag in every major city. The sound bounces around the ranch’s living room, the entire house having become an echo chamber of happiness recently, their giggles never too far away.

"Well, not everyone can be as wild as you, Max Verstappen," he says easily, watching Melanie reveal another sex dungeon that must have a few too many clichés for Max’s liking, if the way he wrinkles his nose up at it is any indication. "Not everyone can be as lucky as me, I guess."

This seems to please Max. Enough to have a pink flush spread across the top of his cheekbones, and for him to watch the remainder of the show with significantly fewer critiques. It gives Daniel time to ponder.

Butt plugs, spanking and handcuffs were all things he didn't try until his late twenties. Until Max, really, until he had someone in his bed enough nights in a row that it felt safe to bring up ideas of what he might want or like, outside of head and a good fuck. Things he’d been worried would be too strange, would say something about him to strangers he wasn’t quite ready to say to himself.

Max, on the other hand, had been shameless. Since the very first time Daniel had braved a conversation starting with, ‘don’t you think it could be fun to try,’ he had been willing and ready for any of Daniel’s wants, but he’d also wanted in return. Had opened his eyes to a whole new collection of Max’s desires only for them to become Daniel’s too.

It is one of the thing Daniel loves so much about him. Not his kinkiness, but how he is never ashamed of being anything other than wholly himself.

"I still do not understand why there is the room," Max half mumbles, his voice bringing Daniel back to the TV. His lips catch on Daniel's nipple as he speaks. Its too hot for t-shirts. "Can these people not just be kinky in their bed?"

Daniel hums, considering. Then, thinking back to comments both their sisters have made-

"Maybe it's hard," he suggests, "like if they have kids and stuff."

Then again, because he's feeling brave-

"Maybe we'll be commissioning Melanie to build us a whole sex house, you know, when we have little terrors."

Max's breathing catches; Daniel sees the way it stops and then shudders out from his chest in one long exhale. When he rolls his head back to look up at Daniel again, his cheeks are pinker, but his smile softest one he knows how to curve his mouth into, reserved usually for their nieces and nephews.

"Okay," is all he says, like it really is that easy. Daniel still remembers realising years ago and with a shock, that for them maybe it could be. "A sex house, for when we have babies. I'm holding you to that promise."

“Deal,” Daniel says, holding this his hand up for Max to shake. The awkward angle of it while cuddled together makes them both laugh again, and Daniel can’t resist letting the laughter linger by tickling Max’s side.

There are no more serious questions to ask about their future that they don’t already know the answer too, deep down. Some things in life have been a given to him since Max Verstappen joined Red Bull Racing; he was going to be a world champion, Daniel was not, and they were going to spend their lives loving each other in spite of that. Whatever each of them wanted that life to look like, the other would be on board.

There are some things Daniel doesn’t know though. Some things he has to ask. Like-

“Can it be cowboy themed?”

[lolotheparagon]

Every Yonderland Episode in a Nutshell - Season 1

For those who dont know, Yonderland was a British fantasy comedy show about a stay at home mother named Debbie, who finds a portal to another world in her utility cupboard. She finds a bunch of Elders who claim her to be the Chosen One, but they have no idea what a Chosen One does cos one of the Elders threw up on the Chosen One scroll and completely destroyed it in the process. So Debbie and her friends Nick the Stick and Elf go on daily quests in Yonderland, whilst trying to find out what her destiny as Chosen One even is. Meanwhile a Robbie Rotten like villain named Negatus and his imp minions cause trouble as usual.

Its a very tongue and cheek parody of 80s fantasy movies like Labyrinth and Dark Crystal, with the usage of puppets and live action actors in a fantasy setting. The humour and dialogue is quite British, but not enough to be alienating to ppl. You will still get plenty of jokes as the show is reliant on snarky comebacks, Family Guy like cutaway gags and surrealist humour. Which is, quite frankly, what British comedy is best at.

Anyway, I've loved this show so much for being just a sheer riot and the humour is practically tailor-made for me. Even when the show got more 'story-heavy' as much as that phrase makes me want to gag, it still retained its charm and goofy spirit.

So without further ado, here's my quick reviews on each Yonderland episode! Starting with Season 1!

The Chosen Mum - 9/10

The idea of a someone being deemed a Chosen One by the leaders of a fantasy realm only to find they have no idea what a Chosen One actually does cos the one scroll that is all about that has been vomitted on and destroyed is fucking hilarious and that should be in a lot more legit Chosen One stories more often. Also love how Debbie is not at all impressed by the fantasy world. Its like the opposite reaction of an isekai and I love that

The Wizard Bradley - 7/10

Debbie and Elf try to do marriage counselling to get an elderly Caddicarus-like wizard and his Muppet husband to make up so they can continue their magic act. And also so the wizard can help Debbie find a copy of the Chosen One scroll. OH YEAH THERE'S COPIES OF CHOSEN ONE SCROLLS NOW. LEGENDARY SCROLLS ARE LIKE FAX SHEETS IN THIS WORLD XD. Btw I love how Debbie asks the wizard to make a potion to help cure her husband's flu, that was sweet.

Reformation - 10/10

Debbie finds a group of monks that have Sheldon Cooper levels of unfiltered honesty and in order to save them from poverty after their truth has caused one angry customer to destroy their monastery, Debbie tries teaching them how to lie...by turning them into real estate agents. I have never laughed so hard at a TV episode in all my life.

The Ultimate Prize - 8/10

Debbie tries to get a nerdy page to enter a grand tournament cos the knights keep on dying before they enter lmao. A bit weird that Debbie has to kiss the page in order to give him confidence for a kissing trial cos Debbie's been hit on by the characters quite a lot in this season and it gets old really fast. This is what happens when 5 men write a show about a female protagonist. Meanwhile, Negatus risks sending his boss' most strongest warrior behind her back so he can win the tournament. What a fucking dick, I love him.

Closing the Portals - 10/10

When Debbie declares she's had enough of Yonderland, Elf and the entire realm helps her on her last quest and bid farewell to Debbie throughout the whole episode. This episode is one giant guilt trip and I fucking love it. Although, it was really sweet that a tribe of fluffy babus made Debbie an embroidered apology, like do you know HOW DIFFICULT EMBROIDERY IS TO MAKE?? ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU HAVE TINY BBY HANDS?!

The Idiot King - 8/10

The Elders team up Debbie with a narcissistic king (btw love how there's monarchies all over Yonderland and not one of them is in charge of the whole realm) in order to find another copy of the second scroll. Turns out the king is absolutely hated by the public and he's blissfully unaware that him showboating his wealth is the reason why everyone hates him. So its up to Debbie's speech and Little Orphan Timmy to get this king to have a change of heart and give out his wealth to the people. Oh, if only monarchies were this easily fixed in real life. Highlight is definitely the king trying to serenade Debbie and its clear from the first lyric, its not working. He even drags his poor butler to do backup singing. Its hilariously pathetic.

The Heart of the Sun - 6/10

Okay, the joke of Debbie being the only smart person in the room and be practically a mother figure to a bunch of grown men is getting old now. The fact that she has to teach a group of idiots to not be idiots in order to save themselves from catapulting into the sun wouldve been a fine episode on its own, but it only highlights one of the show's biggest problems...Although. The ending does make it worth it. Im not gonna spoil it but it did make me laugh which is all i ask for in a Yonderland episode. Kendall was definitely the highlight. I mean, look at this guy: he was MADE FOR TUMBLR

Dirty Ernie - 10/10

After kidnapping Elf, Negatus dresses up as a hobo in order to lure Debbie into his lair. I love how the characters Debbie has helped in previous episodes: the real estate agents, the wizard and the polite knights have banded together to help her save Elf. It really makes Yonderland feel like a community repaying Debbie for all her good deeds. Its about time this woman got some respect. I also love how the guys came up with a legit clever plan to save Debbie when she gives herself up. Also love that small scene where everyone celebrates at Debbie's house for tea. Man, this episode's just great.

Conclusion:

A great first season to start off the show. Funny, endearing, has that wacky yet dry wit that is a staple of British humour and its just unapolgetically fun. Which is a relief from all the peak tv nonsense that plagued the 2010s. I have been warned that the second season gets a bit more into Debbie's past and her relationship to the looming villain Imperatrix bullshit. but due to the strictly episodic nature of the show and the fact there are 8 episodes a season, its not as bad as other shows cos there's no time for waffling. It also helps that the few bits of season 2 ive seen still have Yonderland's charm and goofiness, so that definitely helps.

[freakymcnastys]

“possibly in michigan” a creepp book - headcannons

general headcannons:

slenderman is british.

despite what people might think the mansion is way bigger on the inside

it has its own theater, bar, hell even a convenience store, no one actually knows how the store gets stocked

ben is too scared to go down there bc of that

the slender brothers come over every thanksgiving and christmas but offender is limited to the living room and dining room…

sally FORCES jeff to dress up for tea parties

jeff cuts his own hair but is surprisingly good at it

thinking about how smile dog is basically jeffs therapy dog :(((

jack has def tried to eat jeffs kidneys but give up cuz jeff woke up 💔💔

toby is an AVID game theory/matpat stan like he loves watching everything matpat is in so when he announced his retirement….lets say it was ROUGH.

slender puts all of sally’s drawings on the fridge and when they isn’t enough room he would rather buy another fridge then get rid of them

masky is like the stressed out older sibling 🤷‍♀️

ben has drank paint.

has a snapchat gc where they send each other snaps

whenever slender and jeff (or anyone for that matter) talk/argue slender has to bend at a 90 degree angle 😭😭

devon’s headcannons:

definitely butt dials people and scares the shit outta them 💀

going along with that devon totally prank calls people with ben and is like “is ur refrigerator running” 😭

her and jack watch reality tv shows (love and hiphop, dr phil, kardashins, etc)

devon’s fav movie is donnie darko…😁

she always sends jack funny tiktoks while he sends her reels

her chainsaws name is jellybean !

sometimes when she goes out with the proxys she brings fake slender pages (saying stuff like “bitchless” and the entire bee movie script) and hangs them up (but slender always finds them and yells at her)

her fav slenderbrother is probably trenderman

PERSONALLY i think that like the demon and jack are two different ppl so like whenever ‘the beast’ gets out it’s not rlly jack? yk?

so one time ‘the beast’ was fed up with jack actually letting himself feel feelings for devon that he brought devon to the tree where she got hung, to kill her 😁 but dw he failed but jack felt bad after ☹️👎

has told hoodie to ‘turn that frown upside down’….

goes up to masky and gets up real close and whispers… “i know what you are..” and just walks away..

maxine’s headcannons:

isn't quite used to newer slang so she still talks how people in the 1920s did and nobody really understands her that well...

she hates her cellphone and WILL NOT use it unless it's direly needed.

she definitely has a record collection but it's all jazzy and "old-timey" music and she does not let anyone else near her records or her record player

she would teach ben how to ballroom dance and then force him to have dancing sessions with her because her favorite thing to do when she was human was to dance at parties

slenderman FOR SURE banned smoking in the house but maxine is allowed to break that rule so she waltzes around the house with her huge cigarette holder bullying jeff cause he definitely wants to smoke.

she generally dislikes getting help with wounds and stuff because of all the malpractice that was preformed on her when she was human

the phantom of the opera (1925) is her absolute favorite movie and one day slender comes back from the store with the 2004 version and she literally falls in love with him right at that moment

she's like your grandma that 1. doesn't know how to work her phone (or tv or anything) and 2. says things that she thinks mean one thing and they actually don't... like for example....maxine: im sending lols jack: maxine someone died...why are you laughing out loud... maxine: oh i thought that meant lots of love :( jack: oh my fucking god bro

the effects of her lobotomy pop up from time to time when she's doing stuff so sometimes she loses the ability to focus and kind of "dumbs down" because people who are lobotomized often lose their higher levels of intellectuals and then she loses the ability to emotionally respond so slender has to help her out and keep an eye on her cause she might do something dumb. :(( then once she comes back she feels so bad that slender had to basically babysit her and he feels worse cause how could anyone do his love like that

IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN THIS BUT- maxine and slenderman compliment eachother so well. he's a gentleman and she's a ladylike woman and they just...fit perfectly together

her favorite modern (ish) movie is the shining cause it reminds her of the good old days and she would be like "ah yes i remember when people would kill at parties" and everyone else is like "what"

her 1920s brain loves coloring books cause she's probably never been stimulated via colors so she has a bunch of coloring books and people come over and are like "slender i didn't know you found a child" and he's all like "oh no that's just maxine"

i think sometimes she forgets she doesn't live alone and she will walk out of her room in her underwear and is like "oh great heavens my bad gs"

- love always, kat + devina <3

[dynamoe]

Boy Genius wrapped up Feb 2023, but I got this nice review 10 days ago.

Maybe it was someone from Tumblr? If so and you're reading this, it has been the one light in a deeply hopeless two weeks— sincerely, thank you.

As I responded on AO3, I promise I will attempt to make all future backstory adventures more Eurocentric.

→ back to the Billy & White index

↓ more details ↓

Now, me, as a vulgar Ugly American— what do I know about European pop culture in the 1990s? What would have broken through to unambitious, uncultured suburban American teens?

Hmmmm... Barcelona '92 Olympics? The mascot was a scribbly dog thing. That's all I remember.

Ace of Base (Swedish) dominated 1994 with The Sign. They had another hit with All That She Wants (Is Another Baby) from the same year. Urban legends immediately started that they were Nazis and "the sign" was a swastika (an Ankh in the music video). Various levels of confirmation on that.

Do we count Björk as European?

I'm trying to think of European movies that broke through— the 1990s is the era of independent film but that was mostly focused on American auteurs. The big international hits were for an older audience— teens weren't into Lars von Trier or Three Colors Trilogy.

La Femme Nikita and Léon: The Professional (French-Italian) appealed big-time to the guys already into Tarantino and Hong Kong Action. At the end of the decade you get Run Lola Run (German), very big with teens and college students.

Billy and his date go see Jeunet-et-Caro's Delicatessen (French) in Tomorrow's Just Another Day. (Their City of Lost Children already referenced in VB for the design of Watch and Ward.)

Note, I'm excluding British pop culture, which I've already included a lot of in the fiction. The UK is still in the EU in the mid-90s, obvs, but American pop culture has a far different relationship with the British than with the rest of Europe. Even before the Beatles. "Cool Britannia" had a major hold in the US after 1997. A Ben & Jerry's ice cream. Tony Blair was on The Simpsons, before he became a war criminal. Trainspotting, Britpop and Elisabeth Hurley— God Save the Queen. As a British Comedy obsessive, I can write endlessly about the UK in the '90s—music, politics, TV, actors, comedians etc. Ask me anything about Spitting Image or all the stock jokes associated with Deputy PM John Prescott from Have I Got News for You. Except you shouldn't, it will be very boring for you.

Now the big European backstory story I have notes for would be a 1990-1991-set road trip through the Eastern Bloc and newly independent ex-Soviet Commonwealth of Independent States as Billy and White try to pick up abandoned super-science research from former state-sponsored labs for pennies on the dollar.

Starting in East Berlin, they stumble through Poland, Hungary, Yugoslavia into the Federation of Former Soviet States, heading east. White tries to trade Levis blue jeans for death ray plans. Billy mangles translating a dozen languages he barely understands (he's only 16).

They cause international incidents and nearly get killed over and over, running away to the next country. They are tailed by EuroPol, accidentally become oligarchs and have to be airlifted out of the US Embassy in Tashkent.

Tetris would be key. A Trojan Horse— it was actually a coded super-weapon meant to destabilize the west. Billy and White somehow figure it out and neuter its power while fucking everything else up.

I dunno. I might never write it but it's fun to think about.

→ back to the index

[shitpostingperidot]

Kamala Khan’s bookshelves

Kamala’s room in The Marvels is an absolute treasure trove of little details to zoom in on, and I’ve identified so many books on her shelves!

Shelf 1, top to bottom:

1. Landmark Experiments in Twentieth Century Physics by George L. Trigg

College-level book about experiments that helped us learn about x-rays, lasers, isotopes, superconductors, and all kinds of other things I don’t understand. Meant to be more practical than theoretical since it talks about the actual methodologies of these experiments. Could be for school, or for Kamala and Bruno to run their own tests of Kamala’s powers. The first of many books in the Khan house that come from Dover Publications.

2. Space Time Matter by Hermann Weyl

“An esoteric initiation into space time physics” -Amazon reviewer. I’m gonna be real, I don’t understand half the words in this book description, but apparently it’s famous for introducing gauge theory, which was later reborn as phase transformations in quantum theory. I can see this being something Kamala reads to try and understand the bangle transporting her to the Partition. Also from Dover.

3. A Map to the Sun by Sloane Leong

A graphic novel about a high school girl’s basketball team learning to work together despite their many differences and conflicts. Also it has a gorgeous color palette. Seems fairly self explanatory why it’s in this movie. I’ll definitely be borrowing this from my library! Like my friend Kamala recommended a book to me herself.

4. The Good Immigrant anthology edited by Nikesh Shukla

21 essays from Black, Asian, and Minority Ethnic (BAME) people in the UK about their experiences. It was crowdfunded initially, extremely critically acclaimed, and has gotten spinoffs and sequels. Riz Ahmed, who is British Pakistani, is one contributor, and a fun fact is that Rish Shah (Kamran from Ms. Marvel) worked with Riz Ahmed in an Oscar winning short called The Long Goodbye. Also, the editor, Nikesh Shukla, is currently writing the Spider-Man India comics series!

5. Bright Lines by Tanwi Nandini Islam

A coming-of-age story about 3 young adults with complicated family, friend, and romantic relationships between them. They have to travel from Brooklyn to Bangladesh together one summer and thereby discover a lot about themselves. I haven’t read it, but there seems to be a ton of complex representation of LGBTQ, POC, immigrant, and Muslim characters. I wonder how much the three main characters can be compared with our three characters with complex relationships in The Marvels, and I wonder which character Kamala most relates to!

6. I can’t tell! The font is bugging the hell out of me because theoretically, with that amount of contrast, I should be able to read a word when I get two inches from the TV and mess with the settings. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

7. I also can’t tell, but I’m being easier on myself because the title is written in white on a yellow background. It’s not the only book I know off the top of my head with this color scheme (Yellowface by RF Kuang) because the title is definitely multiple words. Help!

Shelf 2, right to left:

1. One Night that Changes Everything by Lauren Barnholdt

A YA romance where, through a convoluted series of events, a teenager must face all of her insecurities in one night. I can see Kamala devouring this as brain candy after wrestling with those advanced science books, or using it as fic inspiration!

2. Can’t tell, but love the color scheme!

This next one is a weird one, because I am 100% sure of what book it is, but I cannot find a picture of a matching edition.

3. Wizard at Large by Terry Brooks

It’s definitely, without a doubt, this book (where a character and a magical medallion are accidentally transported to Earth from another realm and switches places with an evil genie). Like those are the words on the spine and the plot of the book is an obvious choice for this movie. The fonts match on the audiobook, the ebook, and the next two books in the series. But try as I might, I cannot find any proof on the internet that the physical book that appears in Kamala’s room, that uses those two fonts and that spine formatting, exists. This is haunting me…

4. (On the other side of the box) It’s not The Twilight Saga Eclipse, but I definitely thought it was before I could watch in high definition. I think it’s a journal or sketchbook of Kamala’s; there are a bunch scattered throughout the room.

Shelf 3:

I’ve only identified the bottom book, which is Einstein’s Theory of Relativity by Max Born (Dover Publications). The third one up is HAUNTING me, it looks SO identifiable and yet!

Living Room Side Table:

1. Amateur Astronomer’s Handbook by JB Sidgwick (from Dover Publications)

2. Cosmology by Hermann Bondi (also Dover)

Both of these seem less difficult than the science books in Kamala’s room, but reviewers note that it helps to know calculus when reading Cosmology. Idk which member of the Khan family is reading these, but I love their family’s connection to the stars 💫

Tbh I’m having so much fun doing this! And I really wish we got to see Monica’s living space so I can analyze her books 😭

[broadwayfangirl222]

Spoilers for Hazbin Hotel Episodes and my thoughts/initial reactions:

Episode 1:

I adore the opening narration, it genuinely feels like a fairytale being told to a kid and I get the vibe Lilith and Lucifer were trying to help Eve by giving her the apple. And for people worried about her being Stella 2.0 It comes off more as Lilith taking over since Lucifer became low key depressed and while there might be issues between them it might be more communication issues than anything else

Husk's voice sounds a bit gruffer than it initially came off as in the trailers and I really like how it sounds

Angel brings up good suggestions of having a celebrity be a selling point for the hotel and why can't Alastor use his connections to bring more people to the hotel

and their answers (of Charlie not wanting to exploit him and people needing to choose to be there, not be forced to be there) were also really great points

I feel low key dumb for thinking Adam was actually there, he wouldn't bother to bring himself down to their level

Charlie's realization this asshole is her mom's ex is hilarious

Tbh I would've wanted to see more of them making the commercial but it was so much fun to see and I love how Alastor only agreed to put genuine effort in the commercial if he never had to do anything related to TV again

Niffty zoning out when the camera is on her just game me hypnotoad vibes (dumb and obvious comparison but that's where my mind went)

Wow...what the hell, they really are cutting the time in half just as a "fuck you" to Charlie and her idea?! Really harsh and just this whole thing works to show they're not so different than the demons

Is it just me or is there weird audio mixing issues with Brandon Rodgers' audio as Katie Killjoy?

Ohhh interesting the 6 months thing is cause an angel managed to be killed and it's a cover up! I'm genuinely curious where this goes

Episode 2:

Good point with this being something that could make people be willing to hear this idea of redemption out

Omg of course Niffty is into Pentious. Also interesting she didn't know who the V's were.

Vox in the trailer sounded like seth rogan to me but he sounds way more gameshow host to me

VELVETTE'S BRITISH?!?! Also kinda cool to see her being a bit more business focused and not just kinda high energy chaos

OMG! Finally we get to hear Valentino! It's kinda cool how his accent is partly there, like it's thicker when he talks in some parts than others. It's done in a way that's less the VA dropping the accent and more it being a deliberate thing for the character

For Vox and Val's relationship we got this idea of Val being the one in charge and mistreating Vox but Vox trying to calm Val down feels like him and Velvette just let Val think he's the one who's in charge of the V's while Vox is actually the one to plan stuff through

Fun little bit of Val poking fun at Vox's obsession with Alastor and I kinda like it's all of them kinda snapping at eachother and messing with one another

I've seen thumbnails for this song on youtube and i've been trying to avoid it and I'm so glad I can finally see it. This song and Adam's songs were low key my faves of these first couple episodes.

One thing that stood out to me in this song is two lines from Alastor is "Is Vox as strong as he purports or is it based on his support? He'd be powerless without the other Vees" (and cute little bit of Val and Velvette looking kinda smug at that line) Cause it does raise an interesting idea: The Vees essentially all prop each other up, how would they handle being purely on their own

"And here's the sugar on the cream, he asked me to join his team, I said no and now he's pissy" Oh so basically he tried asking Alastor out and didn't take the rejection well?

Is that a robo fizz?!?!

I actually appreciate Angel wasn't the one told to be the spy on the inside but rather Pentious. It's a good way to get him involved with this and just isn't the more obvious plot choice

With Angel feeling jealous and insecure I'm actually really glad there isn't that thing where this new character is suspicious and one character points that out but they keep getting dismissed by everyone else and just accused of being jealous

Poor sir Pentious...And honestly this moment is just really sweet and honestly Charlie's design with her hair and Pj's are so adorable!

[maximumwobblerbanditdonut]

The Scottish winter scuppered plans for a second domestic series of Men in Kilts.

Sam Heughan revealed he had hoped to make a follow-up to the 2021 Starz TV show and Clanlands book which was set in Scotland.

But the 43-year-old Outlander star has revealed the follow-up, which was filmed in New Zealand, was moved down under due to a combination of short days and the schedule of his and co-star Graham McTavish, 63.

He said: “We initially looked at options in Scotland, doing another season of the show exploring the north of Scotland, Shetland, its ties to Scandinavia, Ireland etc.

“I am very much interested in the Viking influence (growing up in Galloway near Whithorn and the Viking settlement there).

“My initial idea was to do ‘Men in Kilts - in boats!’, have us in Viking longship, speed boats, kayaks, swimming/scuba, however challenges with our schedules meant our window for filming would fall in the winter months, not ideal for daylight in the UK.”

Mr McTavish added: “We’d really enjoyed the first experience and hopefully will do another. We did New Zealand because I live there and New Zealand has a very strong connection with Scotland.

“One in five have Scottish ancestry, and it’s a mirror of Scotland in many ways - the people, the landscape, you can see why the Scots settled so easily.”

And the pair are set to reunite for a third chapter.

Mr McTavish added: “Our sights are set on North America particularly the eastern seaboard, from Nova Scotia down through Maine, New York, Virginia, North Carolina, Tennessee, places with a strong connection to Scotland.

"There are bears and moose. I’m sure Sam is drawing up a list.”

It is unclear when SH and GMcT were selected and interviewed by the Scottish Sun to reveal their plans 🤔 Whether there are any projects underway at commitment level for a third chapter.

In fact, excavations showed a Norse trading settlement around the Galloway coast. SH was born in New Galloway, which is 34.7 miles (about 55 km) from the Viking settlement of Whithorn; I don't think he went very far to play every day when he was a kid. I don't remember him being interested in Viking Ages, maybe he likes watching Vikings: Valhalla drama series 🤷‍♀️

Filming has never been easy, but filming in the middle of a Scottish winter, in the Shetland islands, during the dark British winters, means that the goal was not clearly defined, unless his idea was to go to Lerwick to the Up Helly Aa parade with torches marching a Viking longship through Lerwick, during the "Shetland Fire Festival", and the idea didn't work. Lerwick Up Helly Aa is a superb spectacle, a celebration of Shetland's history, from the Norse sagas.

But there is something interesting that SH always forgets to mention: in winter 2021 he had a motorcycle accident 🏍️ which would also have prevented him from filming. So the hours of darkness and his demanding schedule led him to an unforeseen change of location for MiK2: he tries to tell a different story and that doesn't convince. He went to New Zealand to have fun and to recover physically from the motorbike accident. MiK2 was filmed when the country was on “Red alert level” 🚩 of the Omicron virus new variant and was closed to foreigners.

There is no doubt they really enjoyed the New Zealand experience because GMcT lives there, and GMcT confirmed that Sam's trip to New Zealand was a "well-deserved" holiday. However the strong connection to Scotland was not present and indeed the mirror of Scotland in New Zealand was not shown in MiK2. A trip dedicated to enjoying adventure adrenaline activities, it was a fantastic holiday.

If he misses Scotland and is looking forward to seeing it on screen with Men in Kilts: why a Roadtrip in North America, why not take up the original idea of doing it in Shetland? Or it will continue with an American romance novel construction about Scotland.

So what is the goal of MiK3, or are these two trying to turn MiK3 into something more than a business? 🤷‍♀️ while SH makes a list?

@dlansing53 His mishap was in Scotland, after a training. On that occasion, he didn't mention anything and tried to cover it up. The accident was mentioned months later in an interview in the U.S. he confirmed that he fractured his knee and tore his MCL, as you can seen in the New Zealand’s photos he received stitches and has a large scar on his left leg after the mishap.

Here at Pharos Athletic Club with Pieter Vodden (He’s not in the picture) trainer in the U.S. he’s not his physio. This photo is from before his trip to New Zealand 🇳🇿

@ajrajraj In Britain Motorcycle is a Motorbike or "Bike" 🏍️ and motorcyclists are called "bikers". When SH says "bike" he fell off a motorbike, not a bicycle. The mishap occurred when he was supposedly on his way home from the gym. SH doesn't go to the gym on a bicycle, he goes on a motorbike 🏍️

After his trip to New Zealand 🇳🇿 He mentioned his accident on the GMA show it was posted by @imahalfemptykindofgirl I reblogged her post

and days later he confirmed it in a talk in Men's Journal. if you are interested you can see both published on my blog.

@ajrajraj On 14 December 2021, on Twitter (X) SH posted that he had been in an accident "on a bike". In a conversation with Charles Thorp of Men's Journal, in the article SH says: he was on a bike, not on a bicycle. If you have the interview where he clarifies that he was on a bicycle, I would like to know more about it, because his injuries did not correspond to this situation.

He limps to the gym to pose for a photo to his fans. He plays stupid games and wins stupid prizes.

[candlelightreader]

I am currently on a Jane Eyre bender, having watched every single adaptation since 1943 (I couldn't find 1934 or prior) in the last two weeks, and I have a lot of thoughts! But two thoughts are at the very top:

a) This piece of literature has had a TV or feature adaptation practically every decade, sometimes more, since the 1910s (and I'm only counting British and American version) and is we're due one this decade. Bring it on! I'll take a series after 2011, but hey 2006 is great already so maybe we just need another film? Or just give us the 2011 director's cut, you cowards!

b) (and this is the bigger point for today) I cannot explain to myself why, while I find age gaps intolerable in real life and especially in modern times, I really can't see it (and forget about it even) in Jane Eyre--for the most part. It doesn't truly bother me that she's barely 18 and Rochester 20 years older. Not even when you take into account the kind of life he led before he meets her and the added major power imbalance in their situation as boss/employee.

I mean, I have come to understand that the power imbalance given the norms at the time is the reason he brings in Ingram to try to get her to admit her feelings. He can't come outright and ask her for fear of appearing like a cad and stepping over the line if she doesn't reciprocate his feelings. At the same time, she can't ask him plainly because if she is wrong about his feelings, she'll only be the cliché governess who comes on to her boss and probably have to leave the very nice job and first refuge she ever had. So they are both at an impasse.

(I choose here to take at face value the idea that Bertha is truly mad and not driven mad and that the whole thing is tragedy because he's unable to divorce her. It's its own rant to discuss what she may represent or what the truth may be with her. Also noting that the age gap is only problematic because she's a teenager and he's basically middle-aged. If they had met later, at least nearer 25 for her, then it wouldn't be the same, although it really only stops being concerning after about 29, right?)

Anyway, I come back to the fact that I feel bothered that I am not that bothered that they have such gap. Because the other imbalances (wealth and employment status) adjust themselves eventually, but not age; he remains older and she younger. Is it because in the very specific context they are in they are equal in spirit and each really have something to teach the other? Or perhaps the time period? Because I definitely feel I would have an issue with the story if it was set in the 21st century, only because an 18yo today is not in any way the same as one in the mid 19th century.

She also has a superior self-awereness to her, given her life experiences that he lacks when they meet. He just has to first be humbled and taken down notches to get to her level. In that sense, he is no more mature for having lived longer and is stuck emotionally and perhaps mentally too in the age he was when his father and brother's died soon after his first marriage. But it remains she is a girl with absolutely no experience with men and he's a lothario who's been gallivanting the globe seducing women and being a sugar daddy.

One may say it's also because it is addressed by the characters themselves and that Rochester seems self-aware that he is much older, even at a time when many men of his station would see it as their due to get the 'young thing'. He makes remarks on his age in a way that diffuses the idea that she is blind to the potential for corruption that is there in their situation. He knows she deserves better.

But most important perhaps is that, in real life, the idea of a 38 yo and 18 yo getting together feels wrong because we have no insight into the relationship and only see the imbalance (justifiably because we know too well of the way older partners will manipulate their younger ones) no matter the gender. So the insight into Jane Eyre's mind manages to convince me of the validity of the relationship than if I was reading it as a document removed from her voice.

Jane Eyre is not the only story where I have contradictory views of age gaps. I am sure I've read other romances with gaps that don't bother me, when in real life I find it reprehensible for the most part.

Anyhow, I will certainly be looking into academic breakdowns of the couple to seek some answers, as I do.

These where thoughts I wanted to put down. Will come back later for thoughts on the adaptations.

[lesbiandonnanoble]

hello! i dont know if there is someone better to ask but youre one of the most prominent dw blogs i can think of: are there any episodes that stand out to you in their discussion or promotion of space colonization? especially using rhetoric of "its human nature to explore" or even religous backing.

if not no worries haha, im just writing a paper and i wanted to use a scifi example!

this is really awful cos you asked this last year and i suck and obviously your paper is already written and i'm so sorry. this ask made me think about how the topic as a whole is approached in the show/the extended universe and this is sort of a poorly done summation of those thoughts.

there's a lot in doctor who to work with in terms of human/humanoid/dominant species colonisation in space. key word work, because it is very much on the shoulders of the watcher/reader/listener to draw up a complex or accurate allegory in almost every case. rather than the "right to explore," i think often by nature of needing an easy conflict doctor who goes more for the "right to utilise resources no matter where they're found, even and especially luxury resources". an example all my followers are the most likely to have seen/remember is planet of the ood. obviously this is slavery, but the abduction of a slave labour force is often part of the colonisation of an inhabited place. it's an especially on the nose critique because the colonisers in this case were physically preventing communication and the reforming of the community they colonised to exploit, but this is done on a very simple level and not extrapolated or discussed in real world terms or with real world context.

the extended universe deals with the topic of colonisation in a more frequent and usually slightly less basic way. jamie mccrimmon is a character who even in the show was (pre-doctor) living under militant colonial (british) rule. this is explored more in depth in a couple of audios; it is genuinely rarely touched on in the show. in certain companion chronicles jamie's survival of british colonial rule is discussed directly (the glorious revolution) or alluded to with parallel space colonisation plots (stuff like the edge comes to mind). c'rizz is another character from the audios who the doctor met after his community was violently colonised and imprisoned but c'rizz has sort of a very strange and very particular thing going on so i'm not really sure how much there is in terms of a colonialism discussion with him; i'm sure you could find something but again the work to find commentary on it is put on the shoulders of the audience. also in the way of extended universe, the EDAs will (like the show!) often have sort of basic space colonisation as a plot point which is not very explored or discussed or looked into beyond that it's a familiar cut and dry situation for the doctor to walk into and be the good guy. they go for this often in the show and the books, they'll pull up a complex and violent social situation and then not delve into it as a social situation (or in this case an act of colonialism) in favour of delving into it only as a plot point, if that makes sense. however I did think dreamstone moon (EDA) actually had something to say about how late stage capitalism/commodification is both an arm and heart of colonialism. i have a (very short) post about that here.

ultimately, doctor who as a creation began in the early 1960s in britain. the universal reoccurring threat that has persisted over the subsequent sixty years within the fiction of the show (perpetrated by any and all villains) is that of the fascist, the authoritarian, the idea of a world-conquering absolute dictator. the (white) british collective consciousness, reeling from the second world war, could not picture any greater evil than the global surge of fascism in the late 30s-40s. colonisation, especially with britain's history as the perpetrators, is something that held visibly less evil in the minds of these british tv writers, and that is reflected in the writing more often than not, especially in classic who. often, colonialism in doctor who is a backdrop, a setting, and not something that is examined, especially not fully, in the episode's text. it betrays something about the show and the country it came from. it is a nasty fact of doctor who and the context it rose out of.

i know i'm too late to help you with that essay but this just made me think, and these are just my thoughts. i don't know. i guess more than any wealth of strong examples when you look at colonialism in doctor who you notice the general lack of sociopolitics, realism, and empathy in any portrayal of colonialism. to pull strong, more-than-surface-level anti-colonialist narratives out of doctor who, you have to do most of the work yourself. i do think this has to do with the show being synonymous with a country that was historically the biggest perpetrator of military colonialism in the world. i don't know. it's grimly interesting in a way that puts a sour taste in my mouth.

[fox10927]

Family Guy

2 more months before Family Guy changes in late Spring 2024. Fans are really excited for the animated to become a family friendly show on Disney on May 2024. Family Guy the animated sitcom will be facing major changes as Family Guy seasons 1-23 and beyond is about to be rewritten on May 8th 2024 as the animated sitcom focuses on friends and family.

19 main characters of Family Guy

Stewie Griffin: Stewie is the youngest member of the Griffin family. He is a highly intelligent and diabolical baby with a British accent who constantly devises elaborate schemes and plans for world domination.

Brian Griffin: Brian is the anthropomorphic family dog and the most intelligent member of the Griffin household. He often serves as the voice of reason and offers witty commentary on the events happening around him. Brian is also known for his intellectual pursuits and struggles with his romantic relationships.

Meg Griffin: Meg is the teenage daughter of the Griffin family. She is often portrayed as socially awkward, unpopular, and the target of ridicule both at school and within her own family. Despite her struggles, Meg occasionally displays moments of strength and resilience.

Chris Griffin: Chris is the teenage son of the Griffin family. He is depicted as overweight, not particularly bright, and often the butt of jokes. Chris is known for his simple-mindedness and his love for food.

Peter Griffin: Peter is the bumbling, overweight, and often clueless father of the Griffin family. He frequently gets into outlandish and ridiculous situations and is known for his distinctive laugh. Peter works at a toy factory and has a love for beer, TV, and unhealthy food.

Lois Griffin: Lois is the patient and level-headed mother of the Griffin family. She serves as a voice of reason and tries to keep the family in check. Lois is a stay-at-home mom but occasionally takes on various jobs throughout the series.

Joe Swanson: Joe is one of Peter's best friends and a neighbor. He is a paraplegic police officer who uses a wheelchair. Joe often participates in Peter's misadventures and provides the group with law enforcement knowledge and skills.

Cleveland Brown: Cleveland is another one of Peter's best friends and a neighbor. He is a mild-mannered and good-natured character who often finds himself caught up in Peter's shenanigans. Cleveland later got his own spin-off series called "The Cleveland Show."

Glenn Quagmire: Quagmire is Peter's perverted and sex-obsessed neighbor. He is known for his catchphrase "Giggity giggity goo!" and is constantly on the lookout for sexual opportunities. Quagmire works as an airline pilot.

Patty Patterson: Patty is one of Meg's teenage friends. She is often seen hanging out with Meg and the other girls.

Ruth Rutherford: Ruth is another one of Meg's teenage friends, often seen in the group.

Esther Esthederm: Esther is a teenage friend of Meg's.

Beth Bethany: Beth is another one of Meg's friends. She is occasionally featured in the series and shares some of Meg's struggles with popularity and social acceptance.

Olivia Fuller: Stewie's love interest and a baby. She is often portrayed as sweet and highly intelligent

Jillian Russell: Jillian is a human girl and Brian's love interest. She is portrayed as attractive and somewhat dim-witted but good-hearted

Neil Goldman: Neil is a teenage boy who has a crush on Meg and often appears as a socially awkward character.

Tom Tucker: Tom is a male news anchor in the fictional town of Quahog. He often provides exaggerated and sensationalized news reports. Tom is known for his smooth voice and occasional romantic interests.

Diane Simmons: Diane is a female news anchor and Tom Tucker's love interest. She is often involved in outrageous and scandalous situations.

Connie D'amico: Connie is a popular and manipulative teenage girl who often antagonizes Meg.

14 Recurring Characters include

Principal Shepherd

Carter Pewterschmidt

Babs Pewterschmidt

Bonnie Swanson

Loretta Brown

Angela Everwood

Evil Monkey

Ernie the Giant Chicken

Tricia Takanawa

Mayor Wild West

Mort Goldman

Miss Tammy

Jerome Cool J

Pouncy The Talking Cat

The Main Plot is in a wacky Rhode Island town, a dysfunctional family strives to cope with everyday life as they are thrown from one crazy scenario to another.

Sick, twisted, and politically incorrect, the animated series features the adventures of the Griffin family. Endearingly ignorant Peter hangs with his friends Glenn Quagmire, Cleveland Brown and Joe Swanson, goes on crazy adventures. Homemaker wife Lois reside in Quahog, Rhode Island with their three kids. teenage Chris their eldest, is a social outcast; Meg Griffin a smart teenage girl, cry baby, hangs out with her friends, Patty, Ruth, Esther and Beth goes on adventures, Stewie, is a genius baby bent on killing his mother, destroying the world, and in love with Olivia Fuller vows to marry her someday, Their talking dog Brian keeps Stewie in check, book writer, in love with Jillian Russell vows to marry her someday and sipping martinis and sorting through his own life issues. Connie being popular girl at the High School. Tom and Diane work as news anchors at the Quahog 5 News Station.

Stewie, Brian, Meg, Chris, Lois, Peter, Joe, Cleveland, Quagmire, Olivia, Jillian, Patty, Ruth, Esther, Beth, Connie, Neil, Tom and Diane are Outcasts, family, hero and main characters of the show.

The 19 main characters go on crazy adventures.

Stewie gives up being evil after season 6 and starts being with his girlfriend Olivia and his family.

Connie gives up being bully after season 9 and begins being nice, taking things seriously being with her friends and the Griffin family.

Stewie Griffin, Brian Griffin, Chris Griffin, Meg Griffin, Peter Griffin, Lois Griffin, Olivia Fuller, Jillian Russell, Cleveland Brown, Glenn Quagmire, Joe Swanson, Connie D’amico, Patty Patterson, Ruth Rutherford, Esther Esthederm, Beth Bethany, Neil Goldman, Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons will enjoy family dinners in all 23 seasons in the animated sitcom.

Family Guy is a feel good show.

The animated sitcom is about friends and family working together and never giving up, above all they’re family.

Meg, Patty, Ruth and Esther keeps Beth in check and preventing her from causing so much trouble.

Stewie, Brian, Peter, Joe, Cleveland, Quagmire, Olivia, Jillian, Connie and Diane keeps Chris in check to prevent him from causing trouble.

Olivia Fuller lives with her mom and dad Tom and Diane, Penelope Tucker is Olivia’s real name. Diane uses her maiden name as Simmons on the Channel 5 Quahog news.

Meg, Patty, Ruth and Esther working at the Sub-Hub.