#british rp

[notacarrotcruncher]

:: cat & mouse // for @notjustajellyfish ::

⸻

Victor Lundy, usually referred to as Vic for short, had met Aggie back when he’d been a mere senior Criminal Investigation Department (CID) officer. He’d worked relentlessly, usually on cases that had long since gone cold and had managed to solve quite a few of them. Now, years later, he was the Chief Constable in Lancashire. He was head of their department. 

He and Aggie had met in Morrisons while both were doing their weekly shopping. They reached for the Cookie Crisps at nearly the same time and a sweet conversation had ensued. Frothy coffee together came after, with a few pastries. Months later, they were going steady and happily dating. A year down the line and they were married. It all sounded very sweet, didn’t it? There was a catch, though, and one he hadn’t been expecting. 

Half a year into their marriage he discovered her rather big secret. He'd been such a fool to not have seen it sooner. Much like her father, and most likely because of him, with such a legacy and his “impromptu” death, she had come to inherit his business. It wasn’t a run of the mill business, either. She was the mob boss. He was married to the fucking leader in their area. A cop and a gangster were bloody married. There were no way out for either of them. They loved each other. He gave her comfort, she gave him love. The sex was incredible. Their lives together were good.

They had to play the game, both of them. Cat and mouse. Always one-upping the other, never quite catching the other one. Never hurting each other and making it look fucking good, too, and all that jazz that came along with hiding such a monumental secret. No one knew. No one would ever discover the truth.

Sat across the table from Aggie now, both of them eating cereal for breakfast, he casually asked, “Any plans for today? We’re working on a massive case. That strangler, we think we finally have him in custody.” 

[nobigneil]

Neil on his RP (Received Pronunciation) accent! The Brummie accent has been voted as "the worst accent in the uk", and Neil has previously stated he ditched it "at about the age of 7" which is hilarious to me considering his twin has kept it!

Credit: cheekylilpupp

[the-other-pack-member]

hate a bitch with an accent. they are TOO sexy. i want them TOO bad.

[chip-chip-its-brexit]

PINNED + reverse

@hearmeknock

Brexit, who usually was very proper and sensible, had had it today.

The champion, who he’d never paid any mind to, had been on his last nerve. She had berated him, pushed him with those..hands..of hers, and made his mind scramble with everything she’d done today.

So he was done. And he had managed to, despite his small stature, pin the diesel against the wall. Huffing and scowling at her as he growled. Not very intimidating though.

"You little.." He bumbled, before huffing. "You little cunt.." He gritted out.

[its-always-british-hour]

I’M HERE TO ANNOUNCE THE RELATIONSHIP OF ME AND @queenbeegertie

YOU MAY KNOW

I AM STRAIGHT

BUT I DON’T THING THERE IS EVEN ONE SINGLE AND STRAIGHT PERSON IN ELMVILLE WHO IS REASONABLY AGED

I’M DESPERATE AND SO IS SHE

THE RELATIONSHIP IS PERFECT, I SEE NO FLAWS WITH THIS SITUATION AT ALL

[damn-student-news]

BREAKING: Local reporter went to sleep and accidentally left treehater on read, prompting the funniest series of anons ever put to tumblr.

[billy-batson-shazam]

The first step to turning British is liking tea more than coffee

The next step is having exclusively British content creators in your YouTube home page

Next thing you know you go "pip pip cheerio and all that rot" and start saying "bo'le of wo'er"

Once you reach the point of calling cookies "biscuits" you're past the point of return. Good luck.

[professorsparklepants]

The absolute one-two punch of a woman coming up to you and speaking with an extremely thick cockney accent, and then her adult son behind her opening his mouth and having a perfectly normal American one.

[markthemannequin]

blinks at some of the asks /lh

But waves hi “British” anon here what are some of yer favorite headcanons you have of mark? :]c

OOC

wringing my hands together evilly

Honestly I haven't given him a ton but he has a few !!

(don't ask for further explanations on these because i could NOT tell you what compelled me to think of half of them)

— REALLY allergic to cats (and cat adjacent things) nonstop coughing sneezing dying fits when drretro, jermbo, or gnarpy enter the elevator

— not the best at picking up social cues and can't for the life of him comfort people (he tries but rarely succeeds)

— since he likes weird al i also have the feeling that he'd enjoy oingo boingo (im projecting 😞)

— despite canonically being 5'9, im convinced he's short (like 5'4 - 5'5 maybe) I think this is purely because he reminds me of engineer tf2 and that guy's SHORT

— speaking of engineer tf2, that's his voice claim in my mind,,, I love you, insane country men

— forklift certified 🫡

__________________________

ty for the ask british anon, I love yapping 🙏

[historianofgalar]

Hammerlock & Their Views on Dragons

Old Hammerlocke Galarian views on Pokemon are so interesting to me. While many cultures of Galar viewed Pokemon as a part of nature and something to live side-by-side with, Hammerlocke Galarians believed that they were above pokemon; that they were something to be controlled. It's the entire reason they used pokeballs.

In the Hammerlocke Empire, killing a dragon was seen as the highest honor a knight could receive. Combine this with the fact they were living in a kingdom that saw themselves above pokemon. A lot of it adds up. Many knights would go out of their way to actively hunt dragons, which, in turn, would make dragon types more defensive and weary of humans. These dragons would now become defensive or aggressive to any human they saw, which would give the Hammerlocme Empire more reasons to hunt them. Pokemon like Dragapult and Noiverm were greatly affected by overhunting, and their populations still haven't fully recovered. Salamence in Galar went completely extinct, and pokemon that were hunted by dragons would now be overpopulated and eat all the crops, leaving nothing left for the other pokemon.

Anyways, the defensiveness of dragons over the centuries would end up leading to Hammerlocke Galarians being weary of all pokemon that wasn't a Wooloo or a Purrloin or anything like that. It's why Hammerlocke has an entire wall around it; to keep pokemon out. And while the dragon head today is used a symbol letting people know that Hammerlocke is "The Dragon Capitol of Galar," it's original purpose was meant to scare dragons off.

It's difficult to explain Old Hammerlocke's views on other pokemon, other than "We are above them and they need to be controlled." That's pretty much the gist of it. That belief has died out a lot today, but their old worldview definitely affected Galar's history.

(I have just realized I've been spelling Hammerlocke wrong this entire time. I'll fix that later)

[kookiekult]

These to mfs are either gonna love each other, hate each other, or fall in love.

[consult-sherlockholmes]

Was that just @criminalisticonsultant at the BAFTAs? What are you doing there?

[chip-chip-its-brexit]

open starter

Brexit had been sleeping again, he always had been.

He had been sleeping in his shed for a while, only 17 hours in total. Snuggled up in his cot like a baby, and even snoring to prove it. Though, that was entirely short lived when a bang on his door shook him awake, and had him tumbling out of his cot.

Brexit yelped, his most precious blankets ruffled over him as he face planted on the floor. "Bloody hell.." He hissed, cursing before huffing and standing up.

who was interrupting his beauty sleep at this time?

[its-always-british-hour]

THIS IS MY NEW FLAG GUVNAS

[dandelionjack]

just gotta wait 16 years, hang in there 🤞🤞

[panarcadia]

We got a tie! Therefore a poll for the three best.