#bring our men back

[cxhleel108]

LITG S8 Thots for this week: Very bad day for loyal girlies…

(Making this while still slightly baked from getting high last night so just know you’re getting ruthless Cahleel today😍)

• So ngl first impressions of the boys…Oakley outsold them all. Call me biased I really dgaf.

• Not even 10 seconds in and Luna already babbling about Jin omg just kill me now.

• Oh bitch I’m officially making it canon that him and my S6 MC fucked around at one point like what? Fusebox stop copying our shit!!!

• Max is Jin 2.0 I literally have nothing else to say about him.

• Kyle not serving to me sorry. I know all y’all going crazy over him and like his body is tea but girl he’s just…no😭😭😭 Also he has a scorpion tattoo which means the Scorpio of the season has been recognized and I care about my MC so I am NOT putting her through that pain.

• And here I thought Oakley was going to end up being the “Gary” of this season…

• Kyle fancies me the most…great! Now leave me alone after I reject you the first time!

• Luna’s going after Jin’s replacement- I MEAN Max! How surprising…

• God I hate you already.

• I can’t stand when they do this. Last time I checked none of these names belong to a 6’3, Ghanaian firefighter with a fat ass and a slutty waist so as far as I’m concerned my eyes are firmly CLOSED.

• Outfit time!

• The other look was boring sorry but I LOOOOVE this one.

• Luna being mad about Jin part 2 omg PLEASE KILLLLLLL MEEEE.

• Ugh yasss we can sleep by ourselves. Y’all will not trap me!

• Bea telling me about this other chick that Oakley went on a date with like I care, ok.

• But you was just mad cuz Jin winked at somebody…girl go to HELLLLLL.

• Outfit time!

• Come on Arabian Nights tease!

• Kyle and Liam been fucking on the low omg?

• Time to suffer through meaningless chats.

• I’m making my girl sound like the most boring person ever trying to ignore these dudes help😭😭😭

• Oh that’s not…

• Luna you are literally only interested in Shawn because you know he’s the only one I’ve given the time of day…does it not hurt being this much of a loser?????

• Outfit time!

• Cute…that’s about it tho.

• Kyle saying he did a tattoo for a celebrity and then the said celebrity being Gabi of all people like wow nobody moved.

• WHERE IS THE FIGHT OPTION??? WHERE IS IT??? LET ME HIT HER!!!

• Liam had us form a whole dance circle around him just for him to start seizing ok.

• Shawn you’re sooooo cute but I really don’t want you baby just stop trying❤️

• This whole conversation with Bea chile I can’t. Oakley went on a date with another girl…ok and??? He called her a head turner…did he say she was turning HIS head??? They connected…OVER FUCKING BAKING. Oakley literally said he was in love with us and was planning on making us his girlfriend it literally makes no sense whatsoever. Fusebox y’all are getting too predictable bruh like obviously y'all are not gonna make our OG LI cheat on us so what is the point of the gossip other than to get US to cheat on THEM?

• And this shit oh brotherrrrr😭 I can’t wait for next week when we find out that Luna was screaming because Shawn gave her a great foot rub like fuck out my face with that. Also even if they are fucking I DO NOT CAREEEEE! I DO NOT WANT HIM!!!!

[gnometa233]

"we need more weird queers" Y'ALL CANT EVEN HANDLE LESBIANS SAYING THEY EXCLUDE MEN.

[starbursticons]

535 icons of remy "the gambit" lebeau in x-men '97 season 1. 100x100, intended for roleplay purposes on my marvel multimuse. caps from capseroo on insanejournal & icons made by me. free for any use & no credit needed, i just ask for a like or reblog if you're using! here.

[giddlygoat]

my brother can make me laugh without moving at all. he can make me laugh on command, just by existing, and there is no physical tell or indication that it is about to happen. it’s like he can will me to laugh and i will. of course we’re not telepathic, but we do speak in unison sometimes. we improvise like no one’s business. we could fool anyone into believing we are psychically linked. when i try to explain it, i sound silly saying it out loud, but i really CAN tell what he’s thinking. we exchange so much information just with a look. he can make me cry laughing and he doesn’t even have to move

[mrgaretcarter]

Honestly I think it would do us all well to go back to kinda cringy feminism again for a little bit idk cause I think maybe for some people the discourse somehow circled back around to supporting sexism just rebranded or whatever so its more aesthetic

[silent-sentinels]

oh. oh.. oh immmm so tired ofbeing angry. oh im sooooooo tiredd o fbeing angry oh my god oh my god

[0-k-4]

my mother will show me pictures of the most mid men ever and go "isn't he pretty though". mom he looks like the models from google stock images or alarmy pictures

[tathrin]

If Finrod is Legolas's other dad, explain Lorien.

Reference is to this post, and also I'm tagging @z-h-i-e because this is their ship-baby, I just popped in to sprinkle some additional inspiration because my brain went "ooh hey!" when their post crossed my dash because that's the kind of supportive community fandom is supposed to be made of fyi.

Right, so. There's no sense of tone in straight-text communication on the internet, so I know that it's entirely possible that this ask was sent in the spirit of giggling-with-popcorn delight while you eagerly await the resulting explanation. It's equally possible that you're playing at being The Ship Police and challenging me in the expectation that I won't be able to make this Just For Funsies ship sail without floundering on the rocks of canon.

Either way: buckle up. Because the boats of Lórien don't sink.

Because when Legolas gets to the woods of Lothlórien with the rest of the Fellowship, he's delighted. He's never actually been here before! He's heard all the stories, and listened avidly, but. well. Thranduil and Galadriel both blame the other a little bit for the nasty way Finrod died (they know it's not the other's fault so they don't say anything, either to each other or anyone else but, well. it feels like it ought to be the other one's fault, somehow).

And there's all that tension re: Doriath still, and why Galadriel couldn't just pick-up where Melian her teacher left off and maintain the Girdle afterwards—because I'm not a maia, Thranduil, you ass! Oh, so you couldn't even TRY?—especially because she then proceeds to do basically that for Lórien just a few thousand years later...and of course Galadriel thinks it's Oropher's fault that so many of Lothlórien's elves died in the Last Alliance, because if only he hadn't been so reckless and pig-headed then surely Amdír would never have thought up that idiotic suicidal charge on his own...and if she'd maybe tried a little harder to rein-in the son/nephew of the Kinslayers, maybe Sauron would never have even made the Rings, and Mirkwood would still be Greenwood, which you'll note she can't be arsed to extend her convenient semi-girdle to either...and if he wasn't so damn prideful maybe somebody could help his precious stupid spider-forest...etc etc.

They aren't like. enemies. but they don't really get along anymore, either. They don't talk. (There's a reason the elves of Green/Mirkwood were moving north even before Sauron took up housekeeping in Dol Guldur.) So even though Lothlórien is like maybe a week's walk away, Legolas hasn't actually been here before. And he is stoked! Because he's always wanted to visit, but he didn't want to hurt his remaining dad's feelings by being like "bye, gonna go visit my aunt whom you haven't spoken to in like three thousand years, nbd!" so he never did — but here they are now, and it's part of the Quest, so it's not like Legolas just popped in for a visit, is it? He's doing something that just happened to bring him here, so Thranduil can't take it personally, and...well, here he is! At last! This is awesome! He's so excited to see his aunt's fabled forest!

And then they want to blindfold him!? He's FINALLY in Lórien, and he's not even allowed to look at the place!? This is his aunt's forest, for fuck's sake — he is an elf and a kinsman here, dammit! No wonder he goes from zero-to-sixty re: "golly Gimli don't be so stubborn" => "hOw dARe yOu!?!?!?" when the blindfold is suggested. He's not just pissed, he's taking it personally. Because he's family.

Okay so far so good, but when the Fellowship comes before Celeborn and Galadriel why doesn't anyone say anything about Legolas literally being their nephew, one might ask? Ah! Well, that's because we have Hobbits for our narrators, and they simply don't know elvish family trees well enough to catch that detail. Which is why when Celeborn says "Welcome son of Thranduil! Too seldom do my kindred journey hither from the North," it's perhaps a little more pointed of a statement than the Hobbits know. Celeborn is saying long time no see nephew, how nice of you to visit FINALLY. But Legolas and Thranduil have called themselves "Wood-elves" since moving to Greenwood, so the fact that he's actually half-Noldor just never gets mentioned, because it's not like it's relevant, is it? He doesn't mention being half-Sindar either. He calls himself a Wood-elf because he is a Wood-elf...by adoption. So why would the Hobbits even think to ask?

And we know that Galadriel uses ósanwë on everybody, so why wouldn't she be using it with her own nephew? What better way to have a private family chat, after all? And she doesn't say anything aloud to anyone while Celeborn is greeting everybody else, and it's not like Galadriel really needs to listen to the "hellos" either; perhaps she and Legolas have a little mental confab just the two of them while everybody else is settling in. You could easily write that in, if you wanted to, without breaking any of the existing canon.

After that, we actually have a perfect textural opening for Legolas to go hang with his aunt and uncle some more: while the rest of the Fellowship doesn't see Galadriel and Celeborn again until the Mirror and then their departure, the book says "Legolas was away much among the Galadhrim, and after the first night he did not sleep with the other companions, though he returned to eat and talk with them." So we know that Legolas is going off to hang-out with the Lórien elves...a.k.a. Aunt Galadriel. Probably sleeping in the guest bedroom and pestering her for embarrassing stories about his dads. And maybe asking her for tips on how to talk to dwarves without putting your foot in your mouth since she's clearly got experience.

And no, none of them went in for stuff like gushing hugs when they meet...but if they haven't spoken to one another in a few thousand years, and probably didn't spend all that much time together even before that (Galadriel and Thranduil weren't much in any of the same places after Doriath fell) then they wouldn't likely be all that cuddly with one another anyway, would they? Distant-but-fond seems like the order of the day to me, and you can definitely read their fleeting interactions in the book that way. (A kickass bow potentially strung with your own hair is a great gift for a nephew you don't know well who's about to go off into danger! I bet he could even shoot-down a Ringwraith with a bow like that!) Tense-and-awkward-but-trying-to-be-polite would work too, of course; depends on what kind of drama you want.

So yeah, actually I think it's perfectly reasonable to posit that Galadriel could potentially be Legolas's aunt; I've seen several fics that present Celeborn and Thranduil as cousins or some other close relative, and nobody gets shirty about the canocity of that kinship re: the Lórien scenes, so why wouldn't the connection be just as acceptable to come via Finrod and Galadriel instead? There's nothing in the text that I know of that says it can't be canon.

Anyway, Finrod-as-Legolas's-other-dad wasn't actually meant to be a serious "look how well canon supports this idea, it's definitely a very plausible thing that people should embrace in a wholly serious and canonical manner" theory to begin with. I was just having fun. Somebody said, "hey check out their weird rare ship, it's a lot of fun!" and my brain had a lightbulb moment and went "ooh what if you took that silly fun ship and leaned-in even harder with it, though?" and here we are.

Does a marriage between Thranduil and Finrod actually fit with all the canon of the Silm? I don't know, probably not; then again it might, simply because so much of the Silm is vague, especially when it comes to the elves of Mirkwood who barely even get mentioned once or twice. Personally I prefer having Legolas be born in Mirkwood and to be relatively young for an elf when Fellowship starts (there's no canon about that either way, I just like the vibes of it). However, this ship is a lot of fun too. In fact, I think it's already my favorite idea for an older-Legolas-with-ties-to-important-people take on the character, if that's how you want to take the character, simply because it is so much fun.

Do I think it's canon? No, of course not. But who cares? We're not writing Academic Articles on Accurate Tolkien Scholarship, we're writing fanfiction. We're having fun. So if you're a giggling-with-popcorn anon: good, awesome, glad to have you here enjoying the fun too. If you're a Ship Police Anon...well, acab and farewell because I frankly just do not have the time to give a shit about what somebody else ships or doesn't. Block the tag and move on.

[volchitsa-of-winterfell]

I think nearly all of lewis' aloof persona is carefully constructed, as is his over the top style in the paddock. He's extremely good at distracting ppl or showing only what he wants to. He mimics vulnerability but he's hiding the stuff he's really vulnerable about. All the woowoo spiritual "ohhhhh he's so GENUINE" stuff is also a front (see how kate wagner talked about him).

ooooh bold take and as a fellow mimicker of vulnerability to hide the stuff i'm really vulnerable about, i'm into it!! i understand from your tone that you don't mean this as a particularly good thing but i personally am here for interesting/compelling characters in the vroom vroom soap opera and don't care too much if they're Good People ™ or not lol. (and thank you for the reminder that I still haven't gotten around to reading that Kate Wagner article!)

[femslashspuffy]

No thoughts only the way Infinity Pool portrays women's abuse of men and how James feels trapped but honestly does not know how to help himself in a world where men are taught they should enjoy sexual abuse and that they cannot be abused by women

[averagelonelypotato]

i would like to create a fic about my blorbo but I unfortunately live and breath angst and also project onto them so it will be oc as fucK......also i can’t fucking write more than one sentence🧍🏽‍♀️

[whoviandoodler]

grandma's real bad for my 'don't anger yourself into further digestive disorders' goal

[britneyshakespeare]

i was hanging out today w a friend i hadn't seen in awhile and kaily and i were catching up on all the drama involving him (my controlling manipulative and abusive ex-friend) and how he keeps going out of his way to ask ppl about where we are and find us and how the only reason i think i get out of it is bc i don't go to the same college as him anymore, i hardly ever leave the house socially and the few ppl i do see all have no connection w him anymore, and i don't work at some place where he can just show up. i work in pre-k-to-12 public schools. my schedule in terms of days/location is irregular anyway, but if some strange adult man shows up for no particular reason and seeks out a female employee, you do not just get let in. that is how you have the cops called on you. but he does know where i live and i have been paranoid about him finding some excuse to show up at my house. i've had legitimate nightmares about that. i never stopped having nightmares about him i'd say at least once every other week and i haven't talked to him in almost six months.

i don't like at all how i don't feel safe in a way that means i have faith that the issue is over; the person is out of my life; our communication will not be renewed against my will once again. bc all of those things have been attempted. i feel safe in a way that means he happens, by circumstance, not to be able to access me in any convenient way to him. any way he could find me (the only way to feasibly do that would be work/home) would be a justification for calling the police. but i don't have any faith that he wouldn't try, because he has shown himself as being capable of being that low. and if i switch jobs or transfer schools finally and he finds out about it, he can just make it an issue there if he so feels like it, and i'm sure he will. he's a monster. he gets some sort of thrill out of making other ppl feel unsafe and having all the control in the situation

[chxxms]

🙄

(small rant)

[countess-of-edessa]

so i think my mother just basically implied that she thinks i am not just dating but actually having sex of some sort with my neighbor, who she met once for five seconds and who i mention to her as rarely as possible without outright lying lol that’s fun

[marklikely]

based on lrb i predict in 2023 a group of r*dfems will start arguing that abortion is wrong because its robbing wombyn of their divine feminine right to reproduce or something