#infinity pool 2022

[femslashspuffy]

No thoughts only the way Infinity Pool portrays women's abuse of men and how James feels trapped but honestly does not know how to help himself in a world where men are taught they should enjoy sexual abuse and that they cannot be abused by women

[pintsofguinnesmakeyoustrong]

how does mia goth play all these unhinged terrifying evil characters and then in every interview she has the energy of a mouse that lives under a spotty mushroom and wears a bonnet made out of a rose petal

[doll4viets]

Mia Goth, 2024.

[coredrill]

So much for a romance heroine, eh?

GWENPOOL in LOVE UNLIMITED

[thechills]

HORROR VILLAINS IN RED

“Red is the color of life. Beginnings and violent end."

[changethecircumstances]

Apparently it's Skarsgård day cause i just finished barbarian and now I'm starting infinity pool and I forgot Bills brother was in it lol

[amageish]

Marvel United: A Pride Special #1. Art by Luciano Vechio.

I saw some discussion about this cover and people not recognizing all the characters... so I did the only logical thing and made a reading list. Here's a comic recommendation for every queer character on this cover!

Shela Sexton / Escapade: A trans mutant superheroine figuring out her place in a bigoted world In a subversion of the usual mutant metaphor, Shela's parents accepted her mutanthood wholeheartedly... only to disown her when she came out as transgender. You can read her debut in Marvel Pride 2022.

Natima Ngoza / Beisa: A trans woman born in Mohannda who fled to Wakanda when running away from her judgemental family. She's a love interest for T'Challa and a take on the Catwoman archetype. Read all about her in the underrated 2023 Black Panther run!

Cooper Coen / Web-Weaver: A Spider-hero from Earth-71490, Cooper Ceon saved his classmate/crush Peter Parker from a spider bite on a high school field trip... only to be bitten himself. You can read about an adventure of his on Fire Island in Marvel's Voices: Spiderverse.

Gwen Poole / Gwenpool: An aroace Marvel Comics superfan iseaki'd into the Marvel Universe. With the power of meta knowledge, she will find her own place in the canon she loves so much. You can read her realizing she's aroace in ARomancing of Gwendolyn Poole (get it?), part of the Love Unlimited Infinity Comic.

Jean-Paul Beaubier / Northstar: Gay French-Canadian mutant sports superstar and Marvel's first textually gay superhero. You can read about him taking on anti-mutant bigotry in his home country in Alpha Flight (2023).

Rachel Summers / Askani: The sapphic daughter of Scott Summers and Jean Grey from the Days of Future Past timeline. You can read about her and her girlfriend fighting bigots in the British wizarding community (I wonder what THAT could be an allegory for) in Betsy Braddock: Captain Britain.

David Alleyne / Prodigy: Bisexual mutant supergenius. New Mutant, Young Avenger, X-Men, and most recently a professor at Empire State University. You can read about him and his boyfriend in the Young Avengers arc of the Marvel's Voices Infinity Comic.

Bobby Drake / Iceman: Founding X-Men and jokester who realized he was gay later in life. Bobby... He's gay! You can read about him bringing Rogue home as a fake girlfriend to meet his bigoted parents in Uncanny X-Men #319. While this story is before he came out, I think it is an EXCELLENT showcase of his character.

Xuân Cao Mạnh / Karma: Lesbian mutant hero and founding member of the New Mutants. Depending on how you define "superhero," she's arguably Marvel's first lesbian hero. You can read about her relationship troubles, as well as her reunion with her once-lost brother, in Karma in Love, part of the Love Unlimited Infinity Comic.

Charlie Webber / Sun-Spider: A pansexual Spider-hero with EDS. Originally a fan-submitted Spider-sona, she's grown in relevance and even had a speaking cameo in Across the Spiderverse! You can read her story in Edge of Spiderverse #4.

Logan Lewis / Nightshade: Sapphic teen genius and legacy hero to the original Nightshade, a redeemed supervillain. You can read her solo adventures as part of the Marvel's Voices Infinity Comic.

Billy Kaplan / Wiccan: The gay son of the Scarlet Witch... to grossly oversimplify the situation. He also may kind of be God? Good for him! Read about him in Young Avengers (2013).

Teddy Altman / Hulkling: The gay son of Captain Mar-Vell and Skrull princess Anelle. A Skrull/Kree hybrid, he was sent to live on earth for his protection - y'know, Superman stuff. Read about his wedding to his husband Hulkling in Empyre!

Ms America Chavez: The multiverse-travelling latina lesbian of the Young Avengers, Ultimates, and West Coast Avengers. Read about her helping her CLOSE PLATONIC FEMALE FRIEND Kate Bishop raise the baby landshark Jeff in It's Jeff! Yes, that is my America recommendation. I also love her role in Ultimates, but this is funnier.

Aaron Fischer / Captain America: An unhoused gay man and champion of the marginalized, selected by Steve Rogers to have the title of Captain America. You can read about him in Avengers Academy.

Justin Jin / Kid Juggernaut: The Korean-Canadian gay himbo grandson of Jin Moon-Ho, the original Juggernaut who Cain Marko took the name/powers of. Read about him summoning Doctor Strange to ask him about PreP (yes, that happens explicitly on-panel - it is awesome) among other things in Avengers Academy.

Raven Darkhölme / Mystique: The shapeshifting sometimes-nemesis and sometimes-ally of the X-Men. While she may not care about things like "human lives" and "the law," she does harbor a lot of love for wife Destiny - as well as their adopted daughter Rogue and biological son Nightcrawler. There's a lot I could suggest here, but I'm going to pick Marvel's Voices: X-Men as I ADORE the Mystique/Destiny flashback story in that.

Kate "Kitty" Pryde: The original new teenager on the block, Kitty Pryde has had a LONG road to embracing her bisexuality. After literal decades of queercoding, you can finally read her dating a woman textually in the currently ongoing Exceptional X-Men (aka the best current X-book).

[fishenjoyer1]

Fish of the Day

The fish of the day today is the devils hole pupfish!

The devils hole pupfish, scientific name Cyprinodon diabolis, is an endangered fish known to live in exactly one spot, Devils hole. Devils hole is a limestone cavern with a geothermal pool found in Nye county of Nevada, and a disconnected section of Death Valley National Park. The geothermal pool keeps the water at a consistent 33 degrees Celsius all seasons, and has low dissolved oxygen amounts. The surface of water at the cave is only 72ft by 12ft, but below that the cave descends deep into the earth. Below the surface pool there is a larger cavern descending to 150 meters at its deepest before branching into a smaller tube at the bottom, the depth of which is currently unknown.1965 two teenagers went diving in the hole with scuba gear, and were never seen again,  rescue divers sent after them found a dropped flashlight, and other scuba gear but the bodies were never found. One rescue diver dropped a weighted plate that fell a full 932ft without contacting a bottom to the chamber, describing the water below him as an "infinity chamber". Later scans of the cave revealed it is at least as deep as 1,247ft, although to this day the depth is still unknown. Another well known aspect of the cave is that it can be used to determine when there are earthquakes all over the world. The water surges and has displayed unique patterns during the 2022 Mexico 7.6 magnitude earthquake, along with other strong earthquakes further from the hole. Such as: the 2012 6.2 magnitude earthquake in Papua New Guinea, or the 2018 7.4 magnitude earthquake in Indonesia. Devils hole pupfish are known to live only in the first 80ft of the cave.

Devils hole pupfish are unique in appearance, getting only as large as an inch, and being one of few species that have no pelvic fins, however when raised in colder conditions these pupfish will regrow these appendages. As juveniles these fish are an off white color, and females retain some of this coloring in adulthood. This species has only ever been recorded with as many as 500 wild fish at its highest, hitting an all time low point of 42 fish in 2007. The more recent numbers are looking up however, and there were 263 pupfish observed in spring of 2022. The survival from egg to adulthood is small, but the likelihood with human effort that this fish will survive the test of time is high. Described as possibly the most isolated wild vertebrate species in the world. These fish live only 10-14 months, reaching sexual maturity at 8-10 weeks old and spawn year round with peaks in mid February-May, and a smaller peak in July-September. Due to the unique oxygen levels of devils hole, these fish have adapted to enter a state of tupor, similar to hibernation, where they can live anaerobically. This allows them to go without breathing for up to 2 hours, however they produce ethanol as a byproduct.

Most of the devils hole pupfish life is on the rocky outcrops of the surface waters of the cave system. Breeding, egg laying, diet, resting, and schedules surrounding the placement of the sun all depend on these rocky outcroppings of stone near the surface of the water. The diet of these fish is dependent on the rock outcroppings of the cave, as they eat anything they can find in the cave system. This includes: small freshwater crustaceans, beetles, flatworms, freshwater snails, inorganic matter made of small sections of the caves limestone, along with spirogyra and diatom algae, which grows on the rocks themselves and makes up most of the pupfish's diet. Due to their diet being mostly algae types, pupfish are incredibly susceptible to the seismic activity in the devils' hole, as it creates small tsunamis along surface water and washes away algae on the rocks, leaving them without a majority of their food source until it regrows. When these earthquakes happen the pupfish are known to flee into the deer waters of the cave until the water has stilled, and are thought to perhaps feel earthquakes before they happen, although not much research has been done on this yet.

Have a good Wednesday, everyone!

[notbecauseofvictories]

The full list is quite long, so I didn't want to clutter up the last post with it---still, it is impressive to see them all laid out together. So without further ado!

THE 50 MOVIES AND 50ISH BOOKS I WATCHED/READ IN 2024

MOVIES

The Count of Monte Cristo (2024) Emilia Pérez (2024) Wicked (2024) American Psycho (2000) Heavy Trip (2018) La Planète sauvage / Fantastic Planet (1973) The Slipper and the Rose (1973) Bottoms (2023) I Saw the TV Glow (2024) *We’re All Going to the World’s Fair (2021) Oddity (2024) Maxxxine (2024) *The Substance (2024) *The Wicker Man (1973) Housebound (2014) Problemista (2023) Showing Up (2023) *Arsenic and Old Lace (1944) It Comes at Night (2017) The Boy and the Heron (2023) Abigail (2024) Seven Samurai (1954) The Iron Claw (2023) Talk to Me (2023) Bodies Bodies Bodies (2023) Rashomon (1950) *M (1931) Lord of Misrule (2023) The Tale of Princess Kaguya (2013) *Crimes of the Future (2022) Sanctuary (2022) After Yang (2022) **The Florida Project (2017) Pig (2021) The Favourite (2018) Poor Things (2023) Infinity Pool (2023) The Feast (2021) Office Space (1999) *Corsage (2022) Robots (2023) The Deer King (2021) Madame de… (1953) Orphée (1950) Master Gardener (2022) *Something in the Dirt (2022) Black Orpheus (1959) Priscilla (2023) How to Blow Up a Pipeline (2022) *The Lure (2015) To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar (1995)

BOOKS

The Shambling Guide to New York City, Ghost Train to New Orleans, Mur Lafferty What Feasts At Night, T. Kingfisher *Bad Girls, Camila Sosa Villada Don't Fear the Reaper, Stephen Graham Jones *Vintner's Luck, Elizabeth Knox The Barrow Will Send What it May, Margaret Killjoy You Know How the Story Goes, Thomas Olde Heuvelt Bloodchild, Wild Seed, Octavia E. Butler The Angel of Indian Lake, Stephen Graham Jones The Default World, Naomi Kanakia Fantasyland, Mike Bockoven Something is Killing the Children, issues 1-15 The Night Eaters Book 1, Book 2, Marjorie Liu This Wretched Valley, Jenny Kiefer These Deathless Bones, Cassandra Khaw *Dead Inside, Chandler Morrison Mental Diplopia, Julianna Baggott A Human Stain, Kelly Robson The Shape of My Name, Nino Cipri Daughter of Necessity, Marie Brennan The Mist, Stephen King A Skinful of Shadows, Frances Hardinge The Chalk Man, C. J. Tudor *The Rehearsal, Eleanor Catton Come Closer, Sara Gran The Underwater Welder, Jeff Lemire Blink, Christopher Sebela Pulling the Wings Off Angels, KJ Parker Thirteen Ways to Kill Lulabelle Rock, Maud Woolf An Elderly Lady Is Up to No Good, Helene Tursten Thornhedge, T. Kingfisher HEX, Thomas Olde Heuvelt Midnight Rooms, Donyae Coles Aglaeca, Mohnfisch Dr. Limos Plays God, Stevie Barot Home by the Rotting Sea, Otava Heikkila Last Crane, Narsid Sacred Bodies, Ver No Trouble at All, Various Authors (short story collection) *Wylding Hall, Elizabeth Hand Glass House, Paul Jessup Agony's Lodestone, Laura Keating * Big Swiss, Jen Beagin House of Rot, Danger Slater Dreadful, Rebecca Rozakis *Diavola, Jennifer Thorne Lute, Jennifer Thorne Regrettably, I Am About To Cause Trouble, Amie McNee The Rules Upheld by No One, Amie McNee The Sacrifice, Rin Chupeco The Bog Wife, Kay Chronister The Unmothers, Leslie J. Anderson *The Eyes Are the Best Part, Monika Kim Paying for It, Chester Brown Snow, Ronald Malfi Midnight on Beacon Street, Emily Ruth Verona Haunt Sweet Home, Sarah Pinsker The Doll-Master, Joyce Carol Oates The Third Person, Emma Grove The Werewolf at Dusk, David Small It's Lonely At The Centre Of The Earth, Zoe Thorogood Mom's Cancer, Brian Fies Mary Astor's Purple Diary, Edward Sorel Impossible People, Julia Wertz Roaming, Jillian Tamaki

[davidayer]

Alexander Skarsgård The Northman (2022) ‖ Infinity Pool (2023)

[irregularcollapse]

Hey B!! Happy new year ✨ My 2025 resolution is to watch more films, and you seem to have very good taste. Would you be willing to recommend me some of your faves? 🤍

anon hi hello yes! in 2025 we should ALL watch more films <3 thank you for saying i have good taste! that's very flattering.

i always find it really hard to think of my Favourite™ films because i feel like i love heaps of different films for different reasons! i will truly watch anything and always try to find something that i like when i watch a film (although sometimes that doesn't work).

these were my top watches of last year!

other films newish i watched last year that i thought were really cool:

Infinity Pool (2023) dir. Brandon Cronenberg

Summer of Blood (2014) dir. Onur Tukel

Bug (2006) dir. William Friedkin (not terribly new, i know, but severely underwatched imo! very cool concept and staging, and the performances are incred)

Aftersun (2022) dir. Lluís Galter (not that Aftersun though I do hear that one is good too hfhfhfff)

The Sweet East (2023) dir. Sean Price Williams

Of an Age (2022) dir. Goran Stolevski

Kinds of Kindness (2024) dir. Yorgos Lanthimos

La Chimera (2023) dir. Alice Rohrwacher

Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person (2023) dir. Ariane Louis-Seize

Triangle of Sadness (2022) dir. Ruben Östlund

Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood (2019) dir. Quentin Tarantino (I actually think this is his best film since Death Proof! Don't write it off, don't go in expecting A Tarantino™. It's super well-paced and so competently edited, truly)

Problemista (2023) dir. Julio Torres

Conclave (2024) dir. Edward Berger

Neptune Frost (2021) dir. Saul Williams and Anisia Uzeyman

also just for directors that really hit my taste every time... [timmy chalamet voice] shoutout Julia Ducournau, shoutout Amanda Kramer, shoutout Wong Kar-Wai, shoutout Gregg Araki, shoutout David Lynch, shoutout Luca Guadagnino, shoutout Gus Van Sant, shoutout Todd Haynes, shoutout Agnès Varda, shoutout Rose Glass, shoutout Claire Denis, shoutout Jennifer Kent, shoutout Lizzie Borden, shoutout David Cronenberg.

also i'm vamplibrarian on letterboxd if you're ever curious what i've been watching! i'm currently picking lots from the Criterion Collection though we'll see how long that lasts xoxo

[bitter69uk]

How fitting that birthday girl and cinema’s sublime reigning scream queen Mia Goth (Mia Gypsy Mello da Silva Goth, 25 October 1993) was born during “Halloween month.” The angel-faced Goth - rapidly becoming the Barbara Steele de nos jours - is a riveting, singular presence and one of THE great modern actresses of any genre (The Guardian’s Peter Bradshaw aptly called her “the Judy Garland of horror”). From her debut in Nymphomaniac (2013) by Lars von Trier, she’s clearly sought provocative, challenging work. Goth made a vivid impression in Luca Guadagnino’s 2018 remake of Suspiria, and then cemented her megastar status collaborating with Ti West on the trilogy of X (2022), Pearl (2022) and MaxXxine (2024). (I consider Pearl a modern horror masterpiece). I still haven’t seen Goth in Brandon Cronenberg’s Infinity Pool (2023), regrettably. In the pipeline: she features in Guillermo del Toro’s upcoming interpretation of Frankenstein.

[bambitheslave]

It's making a kinky heist movie!

So it's studying kinky movies, to figure out how to depict kink on film better

Here's its list:

Justine (1969) The Night Porter (1974) The Image (1975) Mistress (1976) Caligula (1979) Nine 1/2 Weeks (1986) Hellraiser (1987) Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988) Tokyo Decadence (1992) Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992) Exit to Eden (1994) The Last Seduction (1994) Crash (1996) Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996) Preaching to the Perverted (1997) Quills (2000) Hellraiser: Inferno (2000) The Piano Teacher (2001) Secretary (2002) Hellraiser: Hellseeker (2002) Hellraiser: Deader (2005) Hellraiser: Hellworld (2005) S&M Judge (2009) A Dangerous Method (2011) Hellraiser: Revelations (2011) Magic Mike (2012) Nymphomaniac: Vol. 1 (2013) Nymphomaniac: Vol. 2 (2013) American Mary (2013) The Duke of Burgundy (2014) Cruisin (2014) Magic Mike XXL (2015) 50 Shades of Grey (2015) The Ceremony (2015) Hellraiser: Evolutions (2015) The Handmaiden (2016) 50 Shades Darker (2017) Kakegurui (TV 2017-2019) Professor Marston & the Wonder Women (2017) Gerald's Game (2017) 50 Shades Freed (2018) 2 in the Bush: A Love Story (2018) Hellraiser: Judgment (2018) Dogs Don't Wear Pants (2019) Bonding (TV 2019-2021) 365 Days (2020) Sanctuary (2022) Love and Leashes (2022) Crimes of the Future (2022) The Next 365 Days (2022) 365 Days: This Day (2022) How to Build a Sex Room (2022) Hellraiser (2022) Magic Mike's Last Dance (2023) Infinity Pool (2023) Fall of the House of Usher (TV 2023)

NOTE: it is intentionally skipping Eyes Wide Shut (1999) because fuck Kubrick

It will see if it can watch all 58 of those in the next 6 months

It will be posting about each of these

(If you want to help support its kinky heist movie, it's posting sneak peeks for $1-$5 at Patreon.com/MoviesAndHeists)

[coredrill]

congratulations to julie power for being the first marvel character to say asexual on-panel!!! 😄

[pedanticpunk]

☢️ Modern Era (Peak Ruination)

Dune (2021)

Stellan - as Baron "I will have you, on a desert planet, worship a giant meatball for 166 minutes, and you will not question it." – Skarsgård

Era: Post-Thor ("Daddy has mouths to feed and sons to raise"), Pre-Dune 2 ("...and more sons to raise"). Peak Stellan? Objectively yes.

Ruin Method: Makes Butler method-act like Bill for months just to ghost his calls. "Sorry Austin, the Baron only takes communiques via spice-induced vision."

Odette's Verdict: "LOTR is better". ---

Film: 8.7/10

Skarsgård Impact: 7.8/10 ★★★★☆ ("Stellan devours scenery like the Baron devours… everything.")

PSSP: 68% (Stable)

Harkonnen Hospitality Rating: "1/5 stars. No towels, only betrayal. Would not get murdered here again."

Succession (2021)

Alexander - as Lukas "What if I was a tech bro with a God complex, a p*ss fetish, and the worst texting habits known to man?" - Skarsgård

Era: Post-The Northman muscle, pre-Infinity Pool meltdown.

Ruin Method: I will eyef*ck you into giving me your entire family empire.

Odette's Verdict: Not enough therapy in the world. ---

Series: 9.5/10

Skarsgård Impact: 9.4/10 ★★★★☆ (Points for power moves, deducted for oversharing.)

PSSP: 19% (Catastrophic Collapse)

Would I let him buy my company? I don't think I would know what is happening before it's too late. Would I let him send me weird DMs at 3 AM? Unfortunately, yes.

Eternals (2021)

Bill - as Kro "I couldn’t help but wonder... what if the real eternal love story was a Deviant licking your face for 7,000 years and still getting ghosted?"– Skarsgård

Era: Post-It Chapter 2 (post-clowning), Pre-John Wick 4 (pre-waistcoat villainy). Dad did Marvel, why not me too? Peak Bill? Debatable.

Ruin Method: Slides into your DMs with "we’re the same, you and I" after you tweet a single sad meme. Blocks you before sunrise.

Odette's Verdict: "Bill was in it? When?" ---

Film: 6.5/10 (5.9 if you watch it during a Marvel burn-out)

Skarsgård Impact: 7.2/10 ★★★☆☆ (The man can monologue for 20 minutes of screentime and you still think it's the best thing at the cinemas that week")

PSSP: 61% (Stable)

Insert jokes about the Skarsgård thirst being eternal *here*

The Northman (2022)

Alexander - as Amleth "I couldn’t help but wonder… what if the real Viking fantasy was screaming into a fjord naked while your abs do 90% of the acting?"– aka a feral himbo with a PhD in daddy issues – Skarsgård

Era: Post-Big Little Lies (post-suburban rage), Pre-Infinity Pool (pre-rich-people rot). Peak Alex? Objectively yes.

Ruin Method: Convinces you to raid a village for "honor," then ditches you to monologue at a volcano.

Odette's Verdict: Swedish man playing the Northman, the bar is low here. ---

Film: 7.8/10

Skarsgård Impact: 9.7/10 ★★★★☆ (The man grunted his way to an Oscar snub.)

PSSP: 15% (Catastrophic Collapse)

Viking AirBNB Review: ★☆☆☆☆ - No hot tub, just blood eagles. Host left me for a ‘prophecy.’ Would raid again.

Barbarian (2022)

Bill - as Keith "I couldn’t help but wonder… what if the real horror isn’t in the basement, but in trusting a man who seems too perfect?" aka hot guy mumbles his way through offering you a glass of wine while you're rambling about your favorite film - Skarsgård

Era: Post-Clark, Pre-Boy Kills World. Was it the best Bill? No.

Ruin Method: Ghosts you after getting your Hooker/Canned heat LP. You’d still defend him.

Odette's Verdict: "Awww, he actually looks nice here for once." ---

Film: 6.2/10

Skarsgård Impact: 8/10 ★★★★☆ (He weaponized awkward eye contact.)

PSSP: 42% (Critical Condition)

Detroit Airbnb Review: ★☆☆☆☆ - The host left me one bottle of water and 37 hidden tunnels. I would not survive again.

Infinity Pool (2023)

Alexander - as James "What if I was a rich failson with a humiliation kink, and Mia Goth made sure you’d never look at me the same way again?" - Skarsgård

Era: Post-Northman brute, Succession was still a thing (perhaps James in alternate timeline?). Best Alex? No. Hottest Trainwreck? Yes.

Ruin Method: I will make you question your morals and your attraction to me.

Odette's Verdict: Why is he barking? ---

Film: 6.3

Skarsgård Impact: 9.2/10 ★★★★☆ (Points for commitment, deducted for feral degradation kink on main.)

PSSP: 11% (Catastrophic Collapse)

Resort Review: ★☆☆☆☆ - ‘All-inclusive’ meant all my dignity. James cried in my lap after I said ‘no.’ 10/10 would ruin again.

John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)

Bill - as the Marquis "I couldn’t help but wonder... what if the real High Table power move was to not blink while ordering a man's death in a €5000 waistcoat?" - Skarsgård

Era: Post-Clark, Pre-Boy Kills World (pre-screaming). Is this Peak Bill? Oui.

Ruin Method: He ghosts you after making you book his same-day Michelin-starred revenge dinner. You’d still Venmo him for the wine.

Odette's Verdict: "He looks like he has a B2B SaaS startup that never got picked up." ---

Film: 7.1/10 (It's a JW film, what do you want from it?)

Skarsgård Impact: 8.8/10 ★★★★☆ ("The man delivers his French like it’s a threat. And it is.")

PSSP: 33% (Critical Condition)

Yelp Review: "The host promised ‘a night of elegance.’ I arrived to find 37 corpses and a non-refundable tasting menu. The Marquis called this ‘ambiance.’"

Oppenheimer (2023)

Gustaf - as Hans "I am here for the awards because I can act like Dad on the big screenz." - Skarsgård

Era: Post-Vikings typecasting purgatory, pre-???. Still suffering from success like DJ Khaled.

Ruin Method: I will make you take me seriously, whether you like it or not.

Odette's Verdict: "Awww, he looks like a divorced math teacher." ---

Film: 9.3/10

Skarsgård Impact: 8.7/10 ★★★★☆ (Points for range, deducted for lack of hair.)

PSSP: 82% (Minimal Threat)

Would Trust This Man With Nuclear Secrets? No. Would Let Him Mansplain Physics? Maybe.

Boy Kills World (2023)

Bill - as Boy "I will have you, a white woman, yell boy for 111 minutes and you will not question it" - Skarsgård

Era: Post-John Wick 4, Pre-The Crow (aka "If I have to get shredded, I'll try to do a franchise.")

Ruin method: I will have you defend the poorly executed fighting scenes.

Odette's Verdict: Why are we not watching the Raid? ---

Film: 7.2

Skarsgård Impact: 8.4/10

PSSP: 58% (Stable)

The action isn’t poorly executed - it’s authentically exhausted. You try doing 47 takes of a hallway fight sequence after three months of keto.

Dune: Part Two (2024)

Stellan - as Baron "I will have you, a desert messiah, worship my nephew’s corpse for 165 minutes, and you will not question it (aka floating through the plot like a rancid birthday balloon)." – Skarsgård

Era: Post-Dune 1 (already greased up), Pre-Mamma Mia 3 (MERYL SAY YES AND MY LIFE IS YOURS).

Ruin Method: Forces Butler to actually drink the Baron’s bathwater for "authenticity." Still won’t follow him back on Instagram.

Odette's Verdict: "I can see why Academy voters skipped this one" ---

Film: 9.1/10

Skarsgård Impact: 8.5/10 ★★★★☆ ("Stellan’s least sweaty performance.")

PSSP: 65% (Stable)

Harkonnen Yelp Review: "0/5. No brunch, just war crimes. ‘Moisture for the moisture god’ my ASS."

The Crow (2024)

Bill - as Eric "I will 10000% make this about me by saying it's not about me." aka THE BILL AWAKENING - Skarsgård

Era: Post-Boy Kills World’s mute himbo arc, pre-Nosferatu’s emo vampire era. Best Bill? No. Was he chasing his big-tiddy goth fantasy? Absolutely.

Ruin Method: Slides into your DMs with “u up?” at 3am, then shares his off-key industrial demo. You’d still set it as your alarm.

Odette's Verdict: "0/10, but post a shirtless BTS pic pls." ---

Film: 5.8/10

Skarsgård Impact: 7.3/10 ★★★☆☆ (2.6 of those stars are for the line delivery alone)

PSSP: 48% (Critical Condition)

Nosferatu (2024)

Bill - as Count Orlok "I gotta make up for that line delivery while staying on theme" - Skarsgård

Era: Post Crow, Pre Locked. There is a theme here.

Ruin Method: You respond to his "Art thou free this eve? (I hunger) text, forces you to look at his creeping shadow while he hums Wonderwall.

Odette's Verdict: "Nepotism is bad. Not the best Robert Eggers film. Fight me. Also, ew - toxic. " ---

Film: 6.9 (Odette is right, pacing was off - don't lie to yourself)

Skarsgård Impact: 9.8/10 ★★★★★ (The man hisses in iambic pentameter. Enough said.)

PSSP: 48.06% (Adjusted for inflation, you can't be ruining real estate just because).

Transylvania Airbnb Review: ★☆☆☆☆ "Host demanded I renounce daylight. ‘No mirrors’ policy strictly enforced. Would let him curse my bloodline again."

Locked (2025)

Bill - as Eddie "You will discover your new kink, your directorial signature, and the OG psycho of your dreams will pass on the torch in the most fatherly way possible, while I'm making you my baby mama." - Skarsgård

Era: Post-Nosferatu. A daring experiment of Bill flying solo in a high-stakes heist gone psychological. The best Bill for now.

Ruin Method: I’ll steal your car and your heart, all while schooling you on the real consequences of street smarts and dump you on my way to get my kid.

Odette's Verdict: Absolutely not. --- Film: 6.7/10

Skarsgård Impact: 8.9/10 ★★★★☆ (Points for survival skills, deducted for not eating before the heist.)

PSSP: 29% (Critical Condition)

Would I let him steal my car? No. Would I watch him slowly lose his mind again? Absolutely.