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talesofely · 10 months ago

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— Desired Reality - Uno.

A Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader Series

Summary : Six people who claimed to be from another universe arrived at the Avengers Tower out of nowhere. The fact that the group of people—NOVA—are essentially Avengers clones only serves to further complicate matters. The only unmistakable distinction between them is that they are of opposing sexes. How will things play out for the two groups of superhumans?

Word count : 1.5k

Warnings : Nothing that I know of.

Next - Series Masterlist.

"Is this it?" A red headed male asked, looking around the unfamiliar yet familiar building in front of them. Nathaniel.

"If the smarties' calculations are correct, then supposedly, we are where we need to be." The youngest member of the team replied with a small sigh. Stephanie.

"Of course it's right, it's us. When are we ever wrong?" The richest member of the team snarked back, making sure to add a sassy eye roll. Antoinette.

"When you said everyone in our team is straight." The archer responded in a tone so flat that you could mistake it for a serious statement. Clarissa.

A chuckle erupted from the quietest member of the team. "She got you good this time." Brielle.

"Bite back, Ms. Snarky." The group's ray of sunshine egged on, wanting to see drama unfolding in front of her very eyes again. Theodora.

"You guys will seriously argue any chance you get, huh?" A white haired female said with annoyance. Everyone immediately stopped talking as if it was their mom scolding them. Y/n.

"Six people are exiting the building. Two on your right, Steph. Two on your left, Brie. And two directly in front of us." Everyone immediately went into full alert mode, ready to fight if necessary.

Just like you said, six people came out of the building. Surprise was immediately shown on the Avengers faces when they saw the six people standing outside the building.

Steve Rogers, Captain America, was the first to speak up. "Who are you?"

"Luke, I am your father." Antoinette said seriously, making direct eye contact with the super soldier.

"Luke? My name isn't Luke." Steve furrowed his brows in confusion as the group of strangers infront of them tries to stifle a chuckle.

"Idiot, it's 'No, I am your father.'" The archer of the younger team would never pass on an opportunity to piss the young billionaire off.

"No? He says 'Luke', you dumb bitch, not 'No'." Y/n let out a loud sigh once those words left Antoinette's mouth, knowing this will lead to a long fight again.

Thankfully, she wasn't the only one who didn't want to go through the banter between the two girls.

"We're you, from a different reality." Steph answered seriously and truthfully, stepping forward to hide the two girls arguing and ignoring the confused looks on the heroes faces.

Silence immediately enveloped them, the avengers trying to study the unfamiliar faces infront of them. You decided to break the silence, knowing that you all didn't have time for staring contests.

"I believe it's best if we speak about this matter inside." You said with a friendly smile, revealing your dimples on both cheeks. Your london accent also surprised everyone, but no one chose to comment on it.

"And how can we trust that you won't try to kill us?" Steve asked, stepping forward to try and intimidate the group.

"Cuff us then." A chorus of disbelieving 'what?!'s could be heard from the younger group. A raise of your right hand, however, was able to silence them.

That didn't stop the quiet cursing and swearing from your group however.

"So you're saying that, you're us, from a different universe?" Tony asked with furrowed brows. They were in the avengers meeting room, the younger heroes all had cuffs on their hands, much to their displeasure.

"Yeah. I'm you," Annie said as she pointed at Tony. "from another reality, wherein you're a gal."

"Wait, wait, wait. So what are your names then?" Clint asked reluctantly, crossing his arms as he stared at the cuffed heroes.

The Vigilantes all looked at you first, seemingly asking for approval from their 'leader' before revealing important information. When you nodded, Clint's counterpart broke the silence.

"I'm Clarissa Francesca Barton, they call me Claire. I'm you, Hawkeye."

"Stephanie Grace Rogers, Steph." Steve raised his brows in surprise at his supposed female counterpart.

"Roxanne Brielle Banner. Guess you can call me Brie." Bruce nodded at his counterpart who just raised a brow at him in response.

"I'm Theodora Odinson, you can call me Thea. Hi, Thor." Thor waved at the girl who smiled at him in return.

Everyone then looked at Annie, who raised a brow at them once she noticed their gaze. "What? I wanna go last."

She sighed before rolling her eyes. "The name's Antoinette Edelle Stark. It's Annie for short, not Toni, not Nette, not anything else."

Tony smiled in triumph when he confirmed that he looks good in every universe, despite being the opposite gender.

"I'm Nate." The only boy in the team said flatly, earning a huff of annoyance from you.

"He's Nathaniel Alister Romanoff." You finished for him, ignoring the look of betrayal on his face.

"I'm Y/n Dawn Maximoff, according to our research, I'm Pietro Django Maximoff. I also have a twin," Your eyes shifted to Wanda, a look of understanding flashed in both their eyes. "His name was Walker Marco Maximoff."

"Wait— I appreciate knowing your names, but that doesn't prove anything, much more being from another universe." Steve asked, still cautious against them.

You sighed in annoyance, you didn't appreciate being asked multiple questions, especially again and again.

You stared at the keys of the handcuffs on the table away from you. You frowned and shifted your gaze to the cuffs on your hand, and suddenly it disappeared.

The avengers looked at you in shock, immediately going into a fighting position when you stood up. You raised your hands in the air to show you weren't doing anything fishy.

"Care to help us here, Y/N/N?" Annie said sarcastically, raising her hands that are still in cuffs.

You walk over to them and touched each of their cuffs that magically disappear each time. You walked over to Cap who backed away slightly. You scoffed and held out your hand that somehow now had all the cuffs.

"Take it, then I'll explain." You threw the cuffs at him, which he caught easily.

Nathaniel walked over to you and frowned, seeing that your wrist had red marks around them from the cuffs being too tight for you.

"Who placed cuffs on you? They need training or something." He said, adding a soft 'tsk' as he examined your wrists. Steve brows raised in surprise, obviously taking offense from that.

"I'm fine, Nate." You pulled your hands away from him and gave him a subtle glare for touching you.

"Anyways, as I was saying-"

"Are you two dating?" Your words were cut off by Natasha's sudden question. You raised your brows in shock, before smirking in amusement.

"Interested in my dating life, are we, Ms. Romanoff?" You asked, smirking teasingly. You saw a few of your members letting out a huff of annoyance hearing you flirting again. You chose to ignore them.

"No. We just don't appreciate having a couple in the team." She answered flatly. You tried reading her even if you knew very well you couldn't.

"But according to our research, you and Mr. Banner over there, had a small thing going on." You countered, raising a questioning brow at her. You didn't know why you even mentioned that, you and Nate really aren't a couple anyways. Maybe YOU are curious about her dating life.

Bruce cleared his throat awkwardly. You didn't let the obvious awkward tension in the room deter you, instead, you sat on the arm rests of Nathan's chair, crossing your arms as you look at the team boredly.

"Being romantically attached to someone doesn't affect my team's performance in the field, don't worry." You saw Steph and Nate giving you a thankful smile, which you gladly returned as a teasing one once you saw them holding hands underneath the table.

Silence overtook the meeting room. The avengers were trying to read you and your team, while your team were just relishing in the fact that you guys know I'm something that the older heroes don't.

"As much as I like the confusion on your faces, we'll have to tell you why we're here." You paused, looking at Steph, a silent cue for her to explain.

"Our universe is fucked. Someone fucked with us a week ago, they wanted to destroy our reality. Luckily, we were able to somehow freeze the entire timeline there. We need to go back in time to fix this mess, to be able to prepare, to avoid our universe from disappearing."

"So you want to create a time machine in this universe to travel back in time to your universe?" Steve asked, his brows furrowing even more than before.

"Yeah."

"Why us?" Natasha asked, raising a brow— specifically at Y/n.

"Why not?" You answered with a shrug. "We have 2 years to do it."

Next - Series Masterlist

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha x reader #gay gay gay #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanov #natasha x you #natasha romanoff x female #avengers x reader #avengers x y/n #ely !! ★#by ely !! ★#desired reality by ely

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littlemessyjessi · 9 days ago

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"To Woo A Warrior": A Holiday Hobbit Imagine: Dwalin Fundinson

….

A Holiday Hobbit Imagine

Dwalin Fundinson x Reader, Plus Size Reader, PS Reader, Human Reader

Warnings: Middle Earth in and of itself? This is post BOTFA . HOWEVER, we’re rewriting it in which I’ve chosen to keep the line of Durin alive because I don’t want to bawl my eyes out this holiday season. That’s the joy of fanfiction and writing it myself. I can do what I want.

Use of Y/N because we’ll all be lucky to see this if I stop to figure out a character. For those of you who are still waiting for Thorin and Fawn’s story… I’m sorry. It’s coming. I just… got stuck in world building mode. *cowers in writer’s shame*. Back to Dwalin and this fic though.

TBH… this is loosely based on a story I’ve written for Dwalin but I just haven’t had the confidence to post.

Fem Identifying Reader just cause I wanted to. If that causes gender dysphoria for you, hey, please take care of yourself. No hard feelings if you scroll on. Totally fine. I just like writing a fem Y/N a lot of the time because I love writing women because women are awesome.

Disclaimer: I don’t own the works of Tolkien or his characters. I just own my own characters, my writing and such.

Additionals: If you are under 18, listen. I love you. I wish you well. A very Happy Holidays. However, this would be the time for you to leave. My page is not for you until you reach a certain age. Sorry but it’s not. Love you but shoo. But also be kind to yourself, remember to drink water and do something nice for you today. Tootles, though.

……

The markets of Dale were bustling and busy as ever.

The morning was crisp and a certain cheer seemed to saturate the very air itself.

Winter Solstice drew closer and closer every day, urging the citizens of Erebor and Dale to leave the cozy warmth of their homes and venture to the markets.

Delightful trinkets and trades laid out just waiting to catch your eye and make you think of the perfect recipient.

This morning was no different but the buttery sweet scent of star bread cut through that crisp cool mountain air that morning and a certain Captain of the Guard was all but paralyzed in fear.

Dwalin knew that no one else made star bread that smelled like that.

Y/N.

A very talented baker who lived in the city of Dale… though she frequented the halls of Erebor so much that she might as well have lived there.

This was, in part, because of Thorin.

He sought out her services on a fairly regular basis because, frankly, Bilbo Baggins had a remarkably large appetite for such a small creature.

It had nothing to do with those little blackberry and brie swirls of bread, fruit and cheese that danced on his taste buds as if his very ancestors came to bless him.

Most certainly not.

It was just because the hobbit had an insatiable appetite and a seemingly endless cavernous void for a stomach.

Bilbo was very much aware of Thorin and his pride.

And he let him keep it because Thorin’s borderline obsession with blackberries actually served to further his matchmaking tendencies.

You see, the baker, Y/N was a lovely woman who Bilbo had spent many an afternoon tea with at this point.

A delightfully charming creature with a wonderfully surprising duality.

The woman could throw together a handful of anything and turn it into something scrumptious…. and that was high praise coming from a hobbit.

However, she also seemed to have a penchant for weapons.

He’d seen the impressive set of kitchen knives … and the endless array of weapons that seemed to produce from seemingly no where.

Bilbo swore that she and Fili would have a grand old time speaking of weapon concealment if he could ever get her out of the kitchen and Fili out of council meetings.

But back to how Y/N came to Dale.

After Smaug the slughead had been slain a relative had sent word.

Her ancestors who had lived there previously had long since passed many years ago.

However, it was a great surprise to her when she received word from her cousin, Bard.

She’d been to Dale only once before and it was directly after the passing of his wife.

Dale was struggling as were all its inhabitants.

Suddenly, Bard had lost the love of his life, his partner and was left to care for their little ones alone…. and unable to do so because he could not leave them.

Sigrid and Bain were still quite small and Tilda was just a newborn.

It was an impossible situation.

He couldn’t leave them alone to care for themselves but if he didn’t leave for work they would all starve.

He’d sent word to his nearest kin… all of which rejected him by claiming they had their own problems.

Y/N, who’d barely been out of adolescence herself at the time, wrote back and told him that she’d only just turned sixteen but that she’d had plenty of experience in caring for children, keeping house and plenty of other things.

And most importantly, she said she’d come and help.

He’d been a bit hesitant because it seemed she was still a child herself and that seemed like another mouth to feed and care for.

However, he was desperate and sixteen was old enough to be in charge and look after the others.

He’d wrote her back in thanks and acceptance.

Imagine his surprise, when she showed up by the next full moon with a wagon of supplies.

He learned that she was a highly resourceful creature and given the right equipment and ingredients… could make delicacies that brought many a man to his knees.

What had surprised him was how she managed to evade the shake down upon entering.

He learned just exactly why the next time Alfrid saw her in public.

The man had apologized profusely and ran the other way.

When Bard had asked her about it, she’d given him a vague answer involving a frying pan and a battle axe.

He hadn’t questioned her about it since.

She stayed with the family for a few years and when Tilda, who’d been a baby when she came, reached five years of age… another family member wrote to her asking for help.

A cousin of her father’s had lost a child and succumbed to the darkness of it herself.

The father had followed after her in heartbreak.

Understandable, but it had left the twins without anyone to look after them.

And they were only seven.

It had broken her heart to leave the family she’d come to know in Dale.

Bard’s as well.

She’d come to be like a younger sister to him rather than a cousin.

He hated to see her go but understood that the twins had needed her more than they did now and so she left.

It had been many, many moons since they’d seen her.

They’d received the occasional letter from their Y/N but had not seen her in years.

However, when Smaug had been slain and Erebor restored… Dale had flourished and her cousin, Bard, was now the King.

Of course, all those family members he’d reached out to before came in droves then but they mattered not.

He hadn’t been heartless about it but they hadn’t been the ones he had missed.

When his duties as King only increased, he found himself with less and less time for his children.

They understood, of course, and they were well looked after… but he knew what was missing.

So he finally wrote to his cousin, Y/N, asking for her help once again.

She was there once again by the next full moon.

Though this time, it hadn’t been needed; she arrived again with a wagon of supplies.

She had been embraced by Bard and the children once again.

Auntie Y/N had returned to them.

Upon remembering how wonderful her baking had been, he’d immediately offered her a job as the royal baker.

She’d accepted the frilly title but in reality she much preferred her old apron that had been worn soft with age.

Bard had provided her with a room and kitchen of her own and that’s where she really created her magic.

Sure, she worked in the kitchens where she was in charge of the feasts and delicacies and every other ridiculous thing one could think of when it came to food.

But where she found her joy was on the days of the market where she sat up a little stall with her wonderfully charming little treats.

They weren’t over the top in design.

Simple but pretty and the taste always felt like a warm hug.

Her prices were fair and she always gave samples.

Bard had assured her that she didn’t need to, as he’d buy her whatever she wanted.

She had thanked him but informed him that she enjoyed it and to let her be for she was far more pleasant to be around when she was happy than not.

Bard, who had been married to a woman for years, understood that that roughly translated to, “Bard, thank you but mind your own business. I need a project to keep me from overthinking everything. Either this can be my project or annoying the ever living hell out of you can be my project. Take your pick.”

He chose wisely and didn’t question her again.

Fortunate that he didn’t because it was for this very reason that led her to Dwalin Fundinson.

Or rather, led him to her.

You see, Dwalin had a sweet tooth about as big as his arm and when word spread about the new royal baker and her amazing creations… he’d been intrigued.

When Bilbo returned to the castle with two guards carrying boxes upon boxes of them… it got his attention.

When Thorin nearly had a stroke over a blackberry pastry and suddenly had to place an order from the woman every few days… Well honestly he hadn’t been surprised by that one.

His cousin had a serious problem with blackberries that he really thought he might need to see someone about.

Gold sickness looked like a jealous pouty child compared to what Thorin Oakenshield looked like when there were blackberries to be had.

However, one day Bilbo decided that he was going to the market and Dwalin, having had enough of listening to stuffy council meetings all day, volunteered to be his personal escort.

Bilbo was happy to have the company of his dear friend and they set out to the city of Dale.

Bilbo drug Dwalin all over the market looking for this vegetable or that fruit or that jam or those herbs but he didn’t mind.

The fresh air did him well.

Dwalin did not miss hardship in the slightest but occasionally he did miss the freedom of his old life.

The simplicity of it.

For example, a lot of peace can come to the mind when doing something as simple but useful as sharpening your blades.

‘Maybe a new whetstone…’ he thought to himself as he caught sight of a stall ahead.

Bilbo, having already followed his gaze in that incredibly observant way of his, simply waved him off and told him that he would be right here looking at honey for quite some time.

Dwalin had laughed for he knew just how long the hobbit could spend deciding on honey.

He’d nearly watched Kili explode out of impatience once when Thorin set the young dwarrowman to be Bilbo’s guard as a punishment for falling asleep during a council meeting.

Bilbo, the mischievous little creature that he was, actually took the opportunity to ask about every. single. honey infusion available.

It had taken hours and Kili nearly lost his mind.

So he felt assured that the hobbit would be just fine for him to peruse the stall and check out the new wares.

Dwalin spent some time looking at the stones as well as a bit of time eyeing some new polishing cloths.

However, his mind was clouded in a haze as the scent of buttery, sugary sweetness filled his nose.

“Hello, Mr. Kaznia. How are you today?”

“Quite well, Miss Y/N. And yourself?”

“Lovely actually. I love it when the air is a bit crisp like this.” “Oh aye. It’s coming strong off the mountain today. Probably a fair bit of wind coming.”

“I hope so.” she giggled.

“You hope for wind?” the dwarrowman asked with a laugh.

“Oh definitely!” she said. “I sleep best with a bit of cool air. I’m no fun when I’m too warm. A bit too stuffy and I become right unpleasant.”

“Oh, Miss Y/N. I’ve never seen you be unpleasant a day in your life.”

“Well, Mr. Kaznia, you haven’t known me my whole life either… nor have you been round when I’ve just woken in the morning.” she said. “Let me tell you. Perhaps, the lot of you should have loosed me into the mountain on the great slug when I’ve just woken and there’s no tea to be had. According to Bard, I am quite the fire breathing beast when there’s no tea.”

Dwalin couldn’t help it and he laughed a bit.

However, he’d gotten a first hand account of Smaug and was well aware of Bard and his … Bardness.

“You must be tha’ cousin then.” Dwalin said. “The wee fancy baker that's the cause o’ me cousin’s blackberry addiction.”

She turned to face him fully and his breath caught in his chest as he looked at her.

She was a beauty absolutely ridden with a soft fullness that had him absolutely enchanted.

“You must be a cousin of King Thorin then.” she smiled.

“Aye. Dwalin.” he said with a bow. “At your service.”

She gave him a kind smile, “Y/N. At yours. Charmed to meet you, Master Dwalin.”

It was there that began the very long and drawn out game of cat and mouse between Dwalin and Y/N.

And subsequently the testing of every last nerve that Bilbo Baggins had in his possession.

For months, the two of them did this song and dance.

Sometimes they met at the market at the stall where they first met.

Sometimes Dwalin hand delivered Thorin’s latest order.

Sometimes she slipped a tiny star bread into his hands as she passed him while she hand delivered the order to Erebor.

Over time the both of them just kept making excuses to see one another … and yet neither would make a move.

Bilbo was about to lose his patience.

But that day, on yet another cool crisp market day… with Winter Solstice drawing near… the pair of them set out to find one another again.

Bilbo had had just about enough and he was about ready to take matters into his own hands.

It had been months, nearly a year, and no progress had been made.

He knew and if neither one of them would make a move… he was going to make it for him.

He was so sick of dwarvish courting customs and human wooing.

Hobbits had their own ways of course but this was simply ridiculous.

He set off to grab Dwalin by that mangled ear of his and drag him to Y/N if he had to.

However, upon nearing that little stall… the hobbit halted in place.

There they were strolling through the market.

Dwalin happily munching away on a massive star bread in his hand.

Y/N gleefully clutching a shiny new axe in hers.

And their free hands entwined together swinging between them.

The hobbit tilted his head, a funny little smile on his face.

It seemed that Miss Y/N knew exactly the way to woo a warrior.

It wasn’t how he thought this would go but he was happy nonetheless.

He nodded to himself, thumbs tucked under his suspenders in contentment until…

“Miss Y/N!”

Bilbo nearly jumped out of his skin when Thorin lumbered past him towards the pair of them.

“I heard you had blackberry bread today at your stall. How many more do you have? I will buy them all.”

Bilbo sighed and turned his face to the heavens.

“Yavanna, help me.” he said in exasperation, “Thorin, come back here!”

Thorin did not, in fact, come back there.

Bilbo did have to chase him down.

Dwalin never stopped eating his star bread and Y/N simply laughed at scene before here.

This blackberry obsessed dwarf being chased by a tiny meddlesome hobbit.

She turned her gaze to her own dwarf, “Dwalin, love?”

“Hmm?” he asked, licking his fingers along with the last of his treat.

“On a scale of one to ten-”

“Ten.”

“What?”

“Tha’ was a ten, lass. Best one yet.”

“Well, thank you, sweetheart but that wasn’t what I was going to ask you.”

“Ok, ten again.”

“What this time?” she giggled.

“Yer definitely a ten in mah book, love.” he said with a bit of a smirk.

“Smooth.” she said, hand reaching to smooth over the top of his head. “But not that either.”

“Alright. What is it then?”

“On a scale of one to ten, what would I have to do to get you to help me make a certain dwarf king and a certain hobbit to admit their very obvious feelings to one another?” she said.

“Ah, lass. Let them be in their own time.” he groaned.

“I will make you a yule log cake, cranberry creme puffs and star bread.” she said. “As well as kisses and canoodling.”

Dwalin chuckled, “Ye had me at cake, lass, but I’ll definitely be taking everything from cake to canoodling.”

“Good.” she said with a nod before pulling him into the bushes. “Let’s have dessert first then.”

His eyes lit up, “Oh? Ye got more treats you been keeping from me, lass? Where are these secret treasures?”

She gave him a smirk of her own, “The cakes come later, love. They’ll take time to make. However, I can make good on my offer of kisses and canoodling right now.”

The two of them shared a massive grin before the sweetest of kisses... a lots of canoodling.

Miss Y/N certainly knew how to woo a warrior.

……

…….

Hello, loves! I hope you enjoy this holiday content!

Hope ya’ll are having a great day!

Love you.

—

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K, Love you, Bye!

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feebelle · 2 years ago

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Munchkin going hammock mode (featuring brie)

#pet rats #rat #rats #rattus norvegicus domestica

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lucksea · 10 months ago

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against all odds the only consistent character in both timelines is that damn fox

#null havoc damage #cult of the lamb #planes of projection au #half-god brie against the world #indroducing my newest galaxy brain take: brie and that fox might have something going on.#narilmb is NOT real in penitence mode timeline. brie killed his ass and earned the favor of the god of darkness and bloodshed #truly i love brie. like camembert is more important to me but brie is living their best villain protagonist life. and i love that for them.#camembert looking at the fox: i can.... fix him.......?????#fox looking at brie: i dont even know if i can make them worse but im obsessed with whatever they have going on already

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finndoesntwantthis · 4 months ago

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BRIE MODE IS SO ON FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!

#and Birdy and Buddyyyyy #aew #brie bella #bryan danielson

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a-d-nox · 1 year ago

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*SALE* holiday leftovers: build your own plate

[ status: CLOSED ]

hello, my friends/followers! i am so excited yet sad to announce this sale. firstly, i am excited because i never thought i would ever hold a sale AND WHO DOESN'T LOVE A SALE!!! secondly, i am sad because this is the LAST CHANCE for you to purchase all of the below reading options (unless i see fit after this sale to re-instate any of them as options). i am grateful for everyone who has previously purchased a reading from me and thus helped me to see a trend in the readings everyone enjoys!

a few things:

- please note that with the sale i am likely to have an increased demand.

- the sale will last from today (november 22nd, 2023) until november 29th, 2023. BUT if the demand gets too high i am at my leisure to close/end the sale early.

- you must fill out this google forms. if there are issues with the link please dm me.

- all readings are non-refundable.

reading options ->

drink options (1.50 USD)

apple cider: a tarot reading. you ask a series of 3 yes or no questions (they must all be different questions). you may chose if you want to hear the why or why not.

cranberry juice: a tarot reading used to identify the energy that surrounds you and how can you best protect your energy.

espresso: an archetypal reading. i use the fantod pack, a creepy little deck, to tell you what disturbing image you are. from the waltzing mouse to the burning head to the body bag, this deck keeps you guessing and i can tell you how you can beat the elements of this strange archetype.

pumpkin juice: a tarot reading. a short reading regarding the energy of the day (or surrounding a situation) and what you should look out for.

appetizer options (3.00 USD)

baked brie: a matrix of destiny / wyrd web reading. side hustle potential assessment based on the wyrd web.

cheese ball: an astrology reading. pick three things you wish to know about your mercury return cycle (what your communication style will be like this cycle, what your voice is like, how your thinking changes, your health changes, perspective changes, your writing style or endeavors, social media trends (your online status), short trips you could be taking, your mannerisms and how they change, your mode of transportation / transportation woes, etc.).

cranberry brie jalapeño poppers: an astrology reading. pick three things you wish to know about your mars return cycle (your confidence and lack thereof, sex life, what will make you angry / frustrated / aggressive / competitive, your impulsive behavior, where you are dominant / a leader, the challenge(s) you face, etc).

cranberry-glazed turkey meatballs: using the green glyph's rune deck, i give general advice on any given subject matter.

fried mashed potato bites: a tarot reading. why you struggle in romances. warning: harsh / brutal honesty.

mac and cheese balls: using the green glyph's oracle deck, i give general advice on any given subject matter.

popover: a matrix of destiny / wyrd web reading. a generational number combo assessment based on the wyrd web.

pumpkin hummus: a tarot reading. what is your strength and what is your weakness - great for job applications as well (i don't care if you want to copy and paste it for use in your applications).

sugar roasted nuts: a matrix of destiny / wyrd web reading. a love assessment based on the wyrd web (matrix of destiny). assesses what is stopping you from finding love, what your romantic partners are like (the ideal and toxic versions), and how you can keep love flowing towards you in this lifetime.

sweet potato bites: a tarot reading. vibe check on your mind, body, and spirit as well as advice (if needed). this is NOT a medical assessment and can NOT be used as a diagnosis.

side options (6.00 USD)

mashed potatoes: a tarot reading. seven card draw evaluation of the energy of each day of your week ahead as well as advice to make the week the best and most efficient that it can be.

rolls: a tarot reading. best bet for any topic NOT seen in the list - will address the past, present, and future regarding your question as well as the energies involved.

sweet potato casserole: a tarot reading. stuck between two options? this reading will help you weigh pros and cons as well as tells you the potential outcome of acting towards either option.

main course options (20.00 USD)

turkey: using the green glyph's lenormand deck i give general advice on any given subject matter. this a reading using the maximum amount of cards in a lenormand deck.

glazed ham: a tarot reading. at a crossroad in life with three options and no clue which to go for? this one is for you - lets you know where each leads and gives advice cards as well.

duck confit: a tarot reading. the current vibes of each energy associated with the astrological houses (1h-12h).

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