#bribing
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folk hero really
#house md#gregory house#stacy warner#Peter Foster#screencap#s02e10 “Failure to Communicate”#longpost#yeah bribe him in 5s#maybe throw in some viagra too fuck it#long post
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Pompous Debate with Kinnock and Parkinson!
#spitting image#lolitics#brian walden#bribing#neil kinnock#cecil parkinson#glenda jackson#uk politics#political satire
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Duke, filming a TikTok walking through the halls of Wayne Manor: “I’ve never understood why people want to know what it’s like living with the Wayne’s.”
He walks past a dark, candle lit room. Dick, Tim, Steph, Cass, and Damian all stand in a circle around Jason. They hold hands and rhythmically chant out the words to Smashmouth’s “All Stars.”
Duke: “Like, they��re just regular people doing regular people things. They aren’t aliens, you know?”
Duke cracks at the last second, laughing at their skit.
#they did have to bribe Damian into participating#shut up spicy#batman#dc comics#batman comics#dc#damian wayne#batfam#batfamily#batman dc#damian wayne al ghul#duke thomas#dick grayson#Jason Todd#Tim Drake#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#the signal dc#batgirl#orphan#red Robin#Robin#redhood#Nightwing
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Danny did his best to ignore the person trying to wake him, but they were annoyingly persistent. After a wave of "Hey"s, "Get up"s, "You can't be here"s and one muttered, "How did you get in here?" Danny finally opened his eyes to see a boy about the same age as him staring while holding up the lid to Danny's casket.
He had thought he was done being woken up after he successfully escaped his superhero responsibilities by running away from Amity, "Am I just not allowed to rest in peace?"
"Not when it's in our attic."
The ghost boy scoffed, "Shouldn't have a casket in here if you didn't want to risk something crawling in."
The guy stared at him for a long moment before Danny decided he had enough and yanked the casket closed again, this time making sure to seal it shut with ice on the inside.
"Hey!"
The ghost rolled over with a huff, determined to ignore him.
Unfortunately, he underestimated how nosey this family could be...
#dpxdc#prompts#fanfiction prompts#danny phantom#danny fenton#tim drake#the waynes have a casket in this attic for some reason and danny took one look at it and said Free Realestate#tim knows something is wrong cause he couldnt find a pulse when he first tried to wake the intuder but he responded to his voice#tims convinced danny is undead but no one believes him#danny has no negative reaction to crosses or anything religious...except for christmas appearently#damian has tried evicting danny repeatedly. casket and all. usually through a window. he failed of course#no one can get danny out of the casket. no threats or bribes affect him. he just wants to sleep 24/7. he wont even eat which concerns them
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Guess who's still thinking about them
#cassandra cain#duke thomas#damian wayne#I'M A BIT BITTER. CAN YOU TELL#robin war and gates of gotham you will always be famous#this is sick... damian and cass having ongoings and STILL not interacting ever#duke should be a supporting character in damian AND cass' ongoings. bouncing back and forth between his two fav siblings#remember that really interesting dynamic where cass made damian insecure. remember when duke and damian went to the movies#if you've forgotten don't worry so has dc#sick and twisted that this has happened to damian so many times 😭 like they didn't even keep his relationship to steph#who do i need to bribe to get duke into damian and cass' ongoings...
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Do u think there might be spiders down here

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TGR SPOILERS
Jean looks dead into Andrew's eyes and tells him that he won't be fast enough to save Neil the next time someone takes a swing because of his smoking.
How cruel it must have felt to be on his knees just 3 WEEKS later - collarbone shattered watching while Neil was curled in on himself at the end of a racquet from another Raven and Andrew too slow to stop it ?!
Anyway the next time we see him with a cigarette he's crushing it in his fist.
#Jean called him brisket lungs and I've never laughed harder but can someone check on the foxes ?#how many bribes did it take to get this twin back on court ? or could they peel him away from it now that Neil has been almost taken from#him twice ??#does he watch from behind the plexiglass itching to be out on the court? how much terror did it take to cancel our the need for nicotine ?#aftg#andrew minyard#kevin day#neil josten#kandreil#the sunshine court#tsc#jeremy knox#jean moreau#jerejean#the golden raven#tgr spoilers#spoilers
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had to draw them after i read this fic ( ˵ > v < ˵ )
#i need more of this specific dynamic (╥﹏╥)#this is my official attempt at bribing the universe (and this author) for more#liu qingge#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#bingliushen#bingqiu#bingliu#liushen#scum villain's self saving system#fanart#sad draws
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I never understood the concept of bribing someone not to tell something. Because like, you give the money, and leave. Then they have the secret AND the money. And if they tell, literally what's going to happen?
- You told the secret?!
- yes...
- Give me back my money?!!!
- no.
Like it would only work if you're extremely threathening, but still, most of the times the secret puts you in such a nasty position you can't act out your retribution.
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stan being able to turn on and off the mr mystery persona on a dime, my beloved
#him just having money in his sleeves at all time too#ready to bribe not ready to pay money for pancakes#gravity falls#stan pines#stanley pines
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Danny plays superman
Danny is in metropolis for school and Superman is off planet or in another dimension with the justice league
Danny is sleep deprived and studying for exams so when some super villain asshole interrupts his daily routine he puts them down swiftly only to flee the scene thinking he’ll be found out.
Instead, as he gets to his dorm ready to flee the city one of his dorm mates stops him to show him a funny post about superman stopping a giant robot on laundry day.
What he sees is a blurry, indistinct photo of him destroying the robot.
Danny decided he can work with this.
He was tired of villains fucking around with his day just because superman was out of town for a bit and gets one of the ghosts to help him make a perfect replica of the suit.
He’s bulked up over the years and learned to control his transformation so now all he has to do is transform everything but his hair and eyes and just refuse interviews for a bit
Easy peasy!….until he meets his, we’ll Superman’s, clone.
Superboy confronts the counterfeit kryptonian about him slacking on his duties only to immediately realize this isn’t Superman.
This dudes chill though so Conner decides to just go with it
He doesn’t mind being Danny’s second clone
Lex is confounded by Superman’s sudden immunity to kryptonite
When Superman gets back no one says shit. Why would they? It’s been a completely normal month in metropolis. Though with less property damage.
Conner already explained things to Lois so she doesn’t say anything. She wants to see how long they can keep it up.
2 years pass before clark finds out.
The rest of the league figured it out at various points during the first year
Clark will never live this down
#danny phantom#ghost king danny#dc x dp#brain vomit#superman#Danny secretly missed fighting his villain of the week#Lois is vibing#jimmy does everything he can to hide the truth from Superman#he was bribed with fudge#Conner goes on clone retreats with Ellie to pandoras laberynth
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More than half the League is betting at any time that they know when it's actually Batman under the mask, or someone else. Unfortunately, they were wrong when:
Dick was doing a phenomenal job of playing Bruce (didn't give himself away even once by smiling), because he fell asleep
Batman stubbed his toe against a table and swore like a sailor which led to cash exchanging hands as several people figured it was Jason, but Bruce had recently switched out of Matches Malone to dress up as Bats and hadn't shaken the Mindset yet
Batman's suit sat weirdly empty at the table and Oliver, annoyed, tried to tell Damian that this was too serious a meeting for Bruce to delegate, but it was Batman, hit with a de-ageing spell and too stubborn to sit out
After sustaining pretty serious injuries, Batman was whiteknuckling the table, in an awful mood, and nobody thought anything of it. Barry offered to help Bruce up (if the pain was keeping him trapped, trying not to insult Batman too much), and Jason tightly replied that if he moved the suit was going to tear.
Clark and Bruce had a bet for how long they could replace Bruce with a mannequin without anyone noticing, and because Clark kept looking over at "Bruce" and giggling (pretty par for the course for them), nobody noticed for five hours.
#Diana barely resists using the lasso to cheat#Hal Jordan consistently bets completely wrong#There have been many bribes to J'onn but the man insists he would never go against Batman's wishes for a silly bet#“I can always tell when it's batman” leaguers lost a lot of money#identity shenanigans#watchtower shenanigans#Dick Grayson#Jason Todd#Barry Allen#Superbat#Clark Kent#Superman#batman#bruce wayne#dc comics#batman headcanon#jla#justice league headcanon
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Part 34! Alfred let Tim leave the poster up for a day before he makes him take it down
Prev ~ Beginning ~ Next
#twitter au#tim was actually only restrained so jason could take that picture and laugh at him for a bit#damian arrived like literally five minutes after that photo was taken and they just played video/board games for a while#(this whole thing was actually just a ploy so they could distract tim from thinking about this dangerous mission that kons on rn)#((damian honestly wouldn't've been grounded if he had bribed jason to kidnap tim in private rather than on twitter lol))#batman#dc#bruce wayne#richard grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#red robin#damian wayne#robin dc#duke thomas#the signal dc#stephanie brown#spoiler dc#batgirl#jonathan kent#jon kent#superboy#timkon#conner kent#kon el kent#cassie sandsmark#wonder girl#batfamily
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emma dupain cheng on the brain😽🎀
more:





#ml#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#my art#emma dupain cheng#emma agreste#(i think that may the more popular tag for her lol. she is a dupain cheng in my heart though)#plagg#she is thirteen almost fourteen here btw. because i love circularity#emma dupain cheng to me is like. what if emilie or adrien grew up in a stable home with no trauma. that’s emma#and she is theater kid✨#and adrien and marinette are soooo so so supportive and love going to her shows and are so proud of her#/marinette has to be held back from trying to manipulate the school play casting process to secure emma the lead every year#but then emma sets her sights on bigger things(broadway west end)#and adrien pumps the breaks big time#and he’s so torn between supporting her interests and wanting so badly to keep her from like. being a child actor. having a job. b#being pulled from school#and emma gets upset bc he is standing in the way of her dreams#and they fight about it:(#and then emma discovers plagg and convinces him to help her sneak out and go to her callback that she secretly auditioned for#(and forged all the parent signatures for lol)#and. well. plagg CAN be bribed#and also she just reminds him so much of baby adrien🤧 he is a softie#and she runs away to her callback. and adrien and marinette wake up the next morning and see on the news that there is a new chat noir.#anyway. not that i’ve thought about it or anything
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knight!ghost x reader. hand-waving details. all vibes, as usual. cw: noncon touching, manipulation
After years beneath your mother’s watchful eye—less a daughter than a jewel kept safe under lock and key—you are at last released.
Invited to accompany your elder sister to court following her marriage to the esteemed Lord Garrick. Your first steps beyond the confines of home toward something far grander. The world opens before you like a storybook.
It’s a rare opportunity for a young lady of gentle birth. The kind of chance your mother spent years safeguarding you against, fearing the pitfalls of courtly life. An opportunity your sister now extends like a gift.
You intend to follow in her footsteps. To make the most of it.
As his carriage ferries you across the countryside, Lord Garrick indulges in his role as guide and guardian. He names estates and their residents you pass, calling out their banners and bloodlines, reciting them from memory like a living codex, its margins filled with his own notations and stories from years of soldiering in the King’s service and court.
Most names you know from lessons or gossip: daughters and sons married off, the odd spoiled reputation and scandal, matriarchs and patriarchs pulling strings. But being the sheltered girl that you are, one name catches your thoughts like a burr.
Lord Garrick slips a miniature into your hand. It is no larger than your palm, with rich watercolors painted on smoothed ivory: a large man, almost comically set in the tiny frame.
His skin is pale, his eyes a warm, untroubled brown. He wears a slight smile, and his armor gleams with the seal of the King.
“An old comrade—Sir Simon Riley.”
You run a thumb over the edge. “Is he as handsome as his portrait?” you ask, shy as a girl should be when entertaining fancies.
Lord Garrick only grins. “He is, dear one.”
“And noble? Chivalrous?”
“The very image,” he assures. His wry expression is lost on you.
You are too steeped in fantasy to notice. Already imagining the weight of his hand around yours, already composing the vows he might whisper when he asks you to dance. Him, tall and solemn. You, breathless and giggling.
You do not yet understand how generous portrait artists can be, the choices they make to soften a mouth or warm a gaze.
When you arrive, you trail in your sister’s shadow, a daisy behind a rose, trying not to stare too openly at every knight that turns his helm. Try not to appear too eager.
You curtsy. You dine. You take your place among the constellation of other young and unmarried ladies, each one a little star burning with her own hopes.
Time passes. You thrive. You charm. You are granted permission and invitation to winter beside your sister, a small victory. Come spring, you’ll be presented formally.
On the morning of the first frost, Lord Garrick finds you in the solar, where you sit with your companions and needlework, your thoughts pleasantly idle.
“There’s someone I’m due to introduce you to,” he says. “Sir Riley.”
He offers you his arm, and you take it. He guides you through the winding halls, past tapestries older than your bloodline. The keep quiets as you tread through an unfamiliar wing. The room he stops at is narrow and dark, the hearth cold, the shutters drawn.
It rouses an unsettling feeling in your stomach. A wrong note, a song sung off-key. Doubt prickles, fine as thorns. The chamber is too plain, too tucked-away for an introduction.
But the man you’ve come to love as a brother—steady, kind Lord Garrick—pats your hand, and the doubt recedes, momentarily quieted.
He bids you wait. He’ll fetch Sir Riley himself.
You let him go with a wobbling smile.
When the door creaks open again, it is not Lord Garrick who enters.
It is Sir Riley. You know him at once, though the helm conceals his face. Your heart skips.
“‘eard you been wantin’ to meet me, girl,” his low voice rolls thick like smoke. Heavy, like the blade at his hip.
You do not move. The knight fills the doorway as he did his portrait frame. Your hands knit loosely before you, trembling.
“It’s…an honor, sir,” you manage. Your eyes dart toward the door, hoping Garrick will follow, show his face. “I wasn’t expecting…That is, I thought Lord Garrick would–”
“Thought he’d stay? Look after you?” Sir Riley asks, stepping inside. “Nah. Garrick’s a busy man. ‘Sides, if it’s lookin’ after y’need, no one’ll do better.”
The door shuts with a click, and the bolt sliding shut might as well stick between your ribs.
You offer a smile, trying to summon the composure that’s served you well in the halls. Yet even your propriety has teeth, and it gnaws at the edges of your nerves. This isn’t how introductions are made. You know that. A lady does not meet a man alone, knight or not, not without a chaperone.
And yet here you are.
He moves further in, slow and certain, untroubled by the circumstances and its consequences. He unfastens one gauntlet, then the other, metal clinking as he sets each piece aside.
You step back, heart kicking against your ribs.
“I only meant…we’ve only just met, and I’m sure your time is better spent elsewhere—”
He says nothing. His fingers move next to the clasps at his shoulders. One pauldron. Then the other. Each piece comes away with unhurried care, as though he has all the time in the world.
The bulk sloughs off like a shell, revealing more and more of his frame until only the breastplate and helmet remain. You realize then that you’ve backed into the wall.
“I should go,” you eke out. “I’ve no doubt you’re very tired from your duties, and this isn’t right—”
Sir Riley laughs, rough like the scrape of flint.
“You’re a nervous one.”
He reaches up and unhooks his helmet, slow as sunrise. When it lifts off, you are not prepared.
He is not unhandsome, no, but he is not the man in the portrait, either.
His nose has clearly been broken more than once and healed crooked. A jagged scar bisects an eyebrow with a fleshy knot on the end, mirrored by another that pulls taut across his lips. His skin is a map of violence—keloids, silvered cuts, and pitted lines all speaking to a life earned inch by brutal inch.
He tilts his head, eyes catching yours. Rich brown, as the painting promised—but the warmth there is tempered with something else. Hunger. The kind you’ve spied in the King’s hunting hounds. Not the gentle yearning or tender longing you had quietly imagined for yourself.
“What’s wrong? Kyle said you found me pretty, pet.”
The word—pet—snaps like a ribbon.
In its reverberation, you feel the whole truth of it: you are very much alone, and Sir Riley is very much not what you were told.
You open your mouth, but no sound comes. You are caught between alarm and something stranger. It burns low in your belly, confusing and unwelcome.
You look at him again, truly look this time.
And realize: perhaps the artist hadn’t lied or embellished. Not entirely. Perhaps the man in the portrait once matched reality, before war carved itself into his skin. Before duty hardened whatever youth he’d once had.
You try not to flinch when he steps closer, but your body betrays you—a stiffening of the spine, a renewed tremor in your limbs.
Sir Riley notices.
He watches you the way a wolf watches a fox kit or rabbit. Clearly delighted by the prey he’s cornered. He lets the silence sit, lets your discomfort curdle before breaking it.
“You’re more beautiful than your picture,” he murmurs, almost to himself.
Your mouth dries. There aren’t many portraits of you beyond your family’s walls. Yet months ago, Garrick had insisted on one—a secret commission, a memento for your sister, a gift. All before your invitation to court.
You never questioned what became of it.
“I—I should go.”
You move to slip past him, but he doesn’t allow it. One step, and he cuts off your path with his bulk, the door now out of reach. Trapped between the edge of the room and him, the air tastes different—ash and smoke, hay and wet dog. It wrinkles your nose.
You try again. “Lord Garrick—he didn’t say—he never said you—”
“Yeah?”
He smiles. Not kindly.
“That I-I,” you whisper, heart beating hard enough that you’re sure he must hear it. “That I’d be alone. This isn’t right—”
“Not alone, pet,” he shakes his head. “I’m here, aren't I? I’ll see you well looked after.”
Without pause or permission, he takes your hand.
You could faint.
Your bare hand disappears, swallowed by his callused palm. His thick knuckles are as battered as his face, broken and reset countless times. His thumb brushes the inside of your wrist and applies a brief and slight pressure, just enough to remind you of his strength.
You jerk instinctively, a soft tug.
He doesn’t let go. Instead, he brings your hand to his mouth.
“No need to shy from me,” he rasps.
Your breath catches.
(You really could faint, but a deep, sharp fear urges you to stay upright. Awake. That to fall now—the alternative—)
He kisses each of your fingers, one by one, unhurried. His lips are cracked. Chapped. Your skin burns under each press. You can’t move. You should, but your feet fail.
He smiles into your knuckles. Almost fond. “You’re shaking.”
You don’t answer. Can’t.
“You don’t know what to do with yourself now, do you?” he drawls. “Bet you had a whole story in that pretty little head. Knight in shining armor, riding in to sweep you off your feet.”
His grip tightens, and he leans in, breath fanning over your cheek.
“Want me to do that, pet? Sweep you off your feet and take you away?”
Your heart screams no.
But nothing comes.
He watches you in that awful silence—measured and methodical. Like he’s trying to decide what to do with you first. His hand, still curled around yours, begins to move again, with new purpose.
He lifts your fingers and guides them toward his face.
You resist, weak and instinctive, and he overcomes it with barely a flick of his wrist.
“Go on. You’ve been staring.”
Your fingertips brush the ridge of the scar across his lip. It’s rough, raised, healed poorly. You flinch, but he doesn’t let go. Instead, he shifts your hand higher, until your touch ghosts over the thick welt at his eyebrow.
“Ugly, isn’t it?” he asks, almost amused.
Your throat tightens. “No—no, I—”
He clicks his tongue. “Don’t lie. Don’t like liars. You scared?”
You are. You’re mortified, shaking with it now—caught between a girlhood fantasy and the brutal reality of the man standing before you. There’s something violent in your own confusion. In the heat crawling down your neck and into your chest, in the tears prickling hot behind your eyes.
He sees it. Of course he does.
And he pounces.
One blink, and then his mouth is on yours without ceremony. It’s a brutal kiss, a claiming thing, harsh and sudden and full of heat. Devoid of the romance you once imagined.
You gasp, startled, but his free hand comes to the back of your head, fingers spanning your skull to hold you in place. He doesn’t let you pull away. He licks into your mouth and steals the air.
It’s too much. He is too much.
When he finally pulls back, your breath is ragged and your tears have finally broken free, hot trails slipping down your cheeks. The horror of what’s just happened crashes over you all at once, like a bucket of cold water sloshed down your spine. Your legs nearly buckle.
He stares, thumb wiping spit from your chin.
“There she is,” he says quietly, near reverent.
You stand there, unmoving. Caught. The pounding of your heart drowns out every thought, each beat frantic, panicked. A bird slamming itself against a windowpane in desperation. You don’t know what to say. You don’t know what you’re allowed to say. The room grows smaller by the second, the walls pressing in.
He studies you, a delicate thing worth examining up close.
“Didn’t think you’d be this sweet,” he mutters, mostly to himself. “Garrick said he had a girl for me. Said you were pretty. Polite. Court-bred. Figured I’d ‘ave to steal into your rooms, take some insurance to make you mine, you know. But Garrick said there’d be no need. That you’d behave. A proper good girl. That what you are?”
His eyes flick over your features—warm cheeks, wet-eyed, lips parted in confusion and fright. His thumb grazes beneath your chin.
“Look at you. Shakin’. Precious thing. ‘Course you are.”
He kisses you again. Harder.
No longer exploratory, no longer testing the waters. His moves as if owed. He takes and takes, lips dragging against yours, breath hot and heavy through his nose. Teeth sink into your lips, imprinting themselves on the pith of your mouth, sucking your tongue. You whimper, but his hand is already sliding down the line of your throat, splaying wide to feel your pulse.
Another panicked noise makes him smile.
He sighs. “Didn’t guess you’d be this soft. Bet you’re soft everywhere.”
Then—
The door bursts open.
A gasp of startled voices—servants. They freeze in the doorway, wide-eyed at the sight of the two of you locked together.
Panic explodes inside you. You jerk back from him, gasping, desperate to speak, to explain—this isn’t what it looks like—but you never get the chance.
Sir Riley doesn’t release you. His arm tightens, his grip anchoring you in place. He turns toward the intruders, unbothered and unashamed. Cold.
In a few short, lethal words, he promises consequences. He names each one of them—their roles, their kin. Swears they’ll feel his hand and blade personally should they utter a word of what they’ve seen.
They flee. Mute. Terrified.
When the door shuts again, it’s like the last breath is sucked from the room.
You’re a mess. Shaking, weeping, mouth swollen and burning. You are ruined. You know it. They will talk. People always do.
With the cuff of his sleeve, Sir Riley dabs your cheek, and then your chin. A mocking taste of the tenderness you’d dreamt of. He hums, too soft for the wicked glint in his eye, and tips your face back up with two fingers beneath your jaw.
“What a predicament we find ourselves in, hm?” he murmurs against your damp skin. “How fortunate that Garrick and I already ‘ave an audience with the King.”
He plants a chaste peck on your cheek.
“Dry your tears, pet.”
He smiles. A pleased shape that rekindles the hunger in his eyes.
“By spring, you’ll be Lady Riley. That’s a promise.”
#ghost x reader#all vibes as usual#anyway i spent a lot of time in museums on vacation and enjoyed the kind of historical catfishing in portraits.#i imagine queen laswell orders kyle to help find simon a wife. price's influence isn't enough to keep him in line anymore.#he needs someone soft and sweet to wed and bed. pop out a litter of brutes. etc etc.#and kyle struggles for a year. simon has the audacity to be picky after running so many girls off.#then when kyle meets your sister and finds out you exist? and you're just simon's type and so impressionable? bingo#bribes simon to sit for a portrait. he makes it a half hour. kyle forces the artist to literally paint simon in a flattering light.#i could go on.
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