#brenda saw iv

[mirroredmemoriez]

One of the reasons I like Valentina from Saw X so much is because I think honestly for a period of the movie- I feel the most bad for her. Right before she's kidnapped, Valentina is literally in the midst of fighting off an attempted sexual assault. The only reason she was able to get out of that was due to Amanda smashing the car window and by proxy hitting Valentina's attacker. You'd rather Amanda have showed up when she did than some minutes later.... Yet Valentina goes from one highly traumatising situation to the next as she's then dragged out of the car and knocked out.

She's a sex worker and it's not a shocking line of work for her due to the fact that everyone who is a part of the scam besides Cecilia and possibly Parker are struggling financially. Valentina is doing whatever she can really to gain any sort of income, which we can only assume is just to get by as there is no mention of her funding something such as a substance issue like Gabriela. This to me is almost... Realistic horror? The horror of the world let's say. It's not the gore or torture, it's the fact that this woman is turning to either amoral or unsafe places to support herself. I'll also state here that I have no issues whatsoever with sex work and that you don't always have to be struggling money wise for it to be where you source your income! However, it's very well known and documented that almost all forms of sex work can take advantage of people in a number of ways. Valentina isn't the only sex worker in Saw either, there is Addison Corday who was also a prostitute and then we have Brenda who was a pimp.

Anyway, I think Valentina day to day would've always been aware of possible violence against her... But just the same as being a member of the scam, it was a risk she had to take for the money. What she could have never expected was being put in a death contraption where her only way of avoiding having her head cut off was sawing her own leg off instead. Oh, she also needed to collect the bone marrow out of said leg in I believe it was 3 minutes overall? It gets better though! EVEN IN DEATH, HER BODY IS STILL BEING USED. First Cecilia disembowels Valentina and uses her intestines as a rope. Then as a decoy to distract Parker, Amanda uses Valentina's severed head.

CANNOT CATCH A BREAK. Not to mention the fact that even though sure she was successful in removing her leg and starting the extraction of the bone marrow... Valentina realised she was still fucked. Impending doom as she watches her time go down and there is nothing she can do to speed the process up. (ADD ON: I also believe that her trap shows everyone else the reality of the situation they're in. She's the first to be tested among them and in that way she's like the guinea pig or even the lamb to the slaughter. I feel for a while there is this atmosphere of disbelief which is shared between all of them and when Valentina's head comes off that's when chaos really erupts. Your life truly is on the line.... And if you don't win your test? You'll end up like her.)

Another thing we discuss with feeling pity for characters and etc is age. With Gabriela she's early 20s for example... Paulette Hernàndez (Valentina's Actor) is 34 now and I always viewed the character as early 30s- THAT IS YOUNG. SHE WAS STILL A YOUNG WOMAN. To end this off because it is just rambling. I think her trap is my favourite from Saw X and I know that's a common opinion. I love the practical effects and the overall set up of it.

I feel as though this one is very well up there into being one of the most iconic Saw traps? I think it's memorable for all the right reasons and Paulette gave an amazing performance alongside that.

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

* I’m excluding Trevor since I’m pretty sure he had no way of saving himself. I’m blaming Saw IV’s poor writing here since it was never clear if Trevor could’ve survived or if Art Blank was the only one intended to survive.

* Hoffman is excluded because (Hello Zepp intensifies)

* Even though Detective Matthews was more a guinea pig for Rigg’s test, he was still given a chance to save himself by shooting anyone who tried to go through the door before the timer ran out. So, he counts.

* Jeff is excluded since his test was already over. He was only really here to get shot by Strahm.

* Brenda counts since, after Rigg saved her, she attacked him as part of her own game.

* Rex is excluded since he was a guinea pig for Morgan’s trap.

[britneyshakespeare]

Nothing I love more than having a little tea w the office ladies

[pascalispunkhq-saved]

It's always my hottest question, spooky films are a year 'round event for me but more so as the days get shorter. Those movies are so twisted! I did see that, yeah. I don't even know if I've seen all of them, I lost track of them! Same as the Final Destination movies. I feel like I don't remember the movies, but there are very specific deaths that still haunt me; I don't remember seeing Saw 3D at all but I remember the car, I don't remember watching Saw IV but I remember Brenda. My favorite movie changes every year. Every week. I guess The Omen is one of my all time favorites, but I could spread a little commotion for The Shining and Candyman. I really enjoyed Beau is Afraid this year, it was so delightfully odd. Joaquin Phoenix and Patti LuPone exceeded every expectation I had. Oh my god, you have to; It's a matter of safety, right? I do it to my nephews now, and they're 18 and 16, their mother - my sister - could've just slaved for 8 hours making them a delicious meal and I will steal something from each of their plates to check it's not poison. If they have berries? It's over, they're all poison, I have to eat them all and spare them. Can't be too careful with berries. Everyone should give their berries to me to dispose of safely, in fact.

seems to be the hottest question as we slowly reach spooky season. my favorite movie is the classic 'the exorcist'. cheesy in every sense of the word, but also so good that i can't look away. also a pretty big fan of the SAW series. did you see there's a new one coming out soon ? looks so bloody good. what's your favorite movie ? have to say my favorite part is taking willa out to trick or treat then robbing her of all the sweets she can't eat. the parent candy tax is a very real thing and i'm here for it.

[bruciemilf]

re: the jaime/jason thing

Paco would love Jason so much either that or he'd absolutely hate him and be suspicious from the beginning. either one. Brenda, i think, would like Jason well enough, but I think she'd get along better with Jason's siblings than Jason himself (im thinking Duke, Tim, or Cass). Traci, Jaime's ex, would want Jaime to be happy, even if thats not with her.

Bianca Reyes would adore Jason, and would try at every opportunity to feed him "proper" food. No shade to Alfred, but he's a rich person butler, not quite in tune with the normal folks. When Jason visits, he'll try to help out in the kitchen, and learn her recipes with her, but she'll try (to no avail) to kick him out because he is a guest. He'll end up helping out anyway, but Jaime will just sit at the counter and watch, a stupid smile on his face, which is good because it means Jaime won't mess anything up (unless asked to help with something) but also shows Bianca how much he really does love Jason.

Alberto Reyes would be a little more wary of Jason, since there are mob problems in El Paso that are decently prevalent in Jaime's original solo run and Alberto got caught in the middle of them, which led to his leg injury that causes him to need a cane. However, Jason is good at working on cars, and Alberto owns an auto shop, and the more Jason is around and wants to help out in the shop, the more invested Jaime gets in helping his father out with the business. And anyone who is that good at working on a car and makes his son happy is alright in Alberto's book. It helps that should Jaime get into any trouble, Jason (and the rest of the Red Hood gang) would be there to help.

Milagro likes Jason. He's like the big brother she never had.... Milagro also canonically likes Guy Gardner so i think that bodes well for her vibing with Jason. Jason also totally bribed her into liking him faster with some homemade cookies and a cool knife that she's not supposed to let her parents or Jaime see.

(sorry this was a really long ask! i just know ive seen stuff about jaime interacting with the wayne family but not jason interacting with jaimes family, who i love very much)

PLS! I'm familiar with Jaime's family from the trailer alone, but the ' they don't get out much' tells me everything I need to know.

Jason watches these people be so tight knit and open and playful and he's like WHATS THE FUCKING PROTOCOL?

The Waynes are clawing and fighting their way towards something just like this, of course, but they've never wanted something softly.

Honestly, I love that Jaime's dad (i think) called Batman a fascist? Which just makes me smile, because Brenda DEMANDS Jason brings his family over for a house warming dinner (Jason might have bought them a house...Maybe)

Imagine Jason squeezing Jaime's hand to keep from laughing as Alberto goes on a SCATHING RANT abt batman, arm around Bruce's shoulder as they're having drinks (Tequila for him and apple juice for Bruce)

Also, I love to imagine Paco saw 6'5 Jason standing next to his very much not 6'5 best friend, and the first thing he did was send jaime the hamster eating a banana meme

[grannybeards]

There's literally nothing better than seeing someone you've been missing and filling them in on the hundreds of pieces of gossip they missed in their time away from u x

[bjornswoman]

Destruction I

Requested by none.

Author's note: Hey guys! I want to thank you for the your support. It means a lot to me. I post you a lot of things I hope you enjoy them. I am trying to make up for making you wait so long for my work. Also, I want to ask you if you want this to end like it this, or make a part two, or make it series. Let me know in the comments. Have a really nuce day you all!

Pairing: Modern!Ivar x Reader.

Genre: Modern!au, angst, sad, drama, maybe romance.

Summary: Ivar hasn't gotten over his ex.

Warnings: Jealousy, heart breaking.

Destruction | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII

You were gazing randomly around, trying to avoid Ivar and everyone else. It was one of those fancy engagement parties. His brother Hvitserk had decided to put a ring on his girlfriend's, Thora, finger. Compared to yours and Ivar's relationship their was really fresh. You had been together for four years and he had never talked about engagement or something.

You weren't the kind of woman who craved so badly to marry, butyou got suspicious after all this time that your relationship wasn't serious for him or something like that. At first, those thoughts sounded ridiculous because you had been together all this time, but now it seemed logical.

Each one of his brothers, even Hvitserk, who everyone considered womanizer and that he would never marry, he was goimg on that step with lovely Thora. Bjorn was married with Gunnhild. Ubbe was married with Torvi. Hvitserk engaged with Thora. Sigurd was married with Brenda. And then there you are. Everyone in that kind of parties, asked when he would put a ring on your finger as well, but his expressions said it all. The way he looked at them, made people not to ask again.

Ivar was drinking scotch, sitting on his mother's couch while everyone was dancing and laughing. You weren't close to him. You didn't want to be. You were out on the the terrace, looking at the starry sky and smoking a cigarette. You were trying ti avoid people. All these fancy parties was tiring and boring.

Your mind was a mess. You could understand him. Freydis, the woman he was with before he met you, betrayed him, but after all these years you had been together, he knew you. He knew that you were nothing like her. You would never betray him by cheating. Sometimes it felt like you were on her shadow, tryimg to fix what she destroyed. Firstly, you knew that you wouldn't be compared to that woman, she seemed perfect, except her betrayal, everyone talked the best about her, except Aslaug. Aslaug was the one who told you that you were the best choice for Ivar. The best woman he could ever have by his side. The woman he deserved, who understood him and helped him open up to people.

You took the glass of gin that you were drinking and walked inside the hall, but something stopped you. Someone stopped you. You saw a certain blonde woman, wearing a fancy golden dress with black details walking smiling through the hall, greeting Thora and her name; Freydis. You tensed up and the same happened to Ivar. You eyes found him. He didn't seem interested in you, not at all. His cold blue eyes were on that woman. You could found in them more emotions than you could see when he told you that he loved you, which didn't happen many times.

It was like you couldn't breathe. Like someone had just punched hard in the stomach. She greeted everyone with a smile, except Aslaug who glared at her. Only his mother's upset eyes tried to found your figure. You were frozen at the back of the hall. All you wanted to do was to leave from there, but would be rude towards Hvitserk and Thora and everyone else. Aslaug made her way to you, who were trying to gain your pieces.

"Where is Ivar?" She asked pretending like she didn't know. Her eyes were trying to read you. That wasn't difficult for anyone to do. You were so easy to read.

"In the couch, interested in that lovely woman." You said bitterly and turned your gaze to look at her. She was upset and her eyes wasn't on you anymore, but at her son who hadn't stopped looking at his ex.

Now you were sure. Not just sure, you knew. He didn't want to marry you all these years because he wantes her. Maybe he even knew that she would be there. He acted oddly all week, but yoy didn't act better lately. You were good but only to help him get past his time, until he meet with her again and try to fix things. What a fool you were. You knew all these from the beginning, but you decided to ignore them. What a fool. What a stupid little girl.

Before Aslaug could form a word you spoke again, frustrated. You would be an even more stupid person or fool if you stayed a minute longer. It was like everyone was mocking you. And things got even worst when she made her way to Ivar, sat next to him and talked with him, smiling and laughing all this time. He seemed to trying to smile too, when all this time he was angry and fought with you.

You felt like everyone pitied you. Gunnhild and Torvi came next to you, but you weren't going to stay there anymore.

"Actually, I not going to stay here a minute longer. I think I had enough all these four years. Just tell Hvitserk and Thora that I am sorry and Ivar that I don't want to talk to him, until he is brave enough to tell me that I was just a distraction for him all these years." You said trying to hold back you tears and not cry inside there and make a fool of yourself again.

Aslaug's voice stopped you and you turned to look at her. She tried to defend him. Her favorite son, but this time you weren't going to listen anything for anyone that wasn't him, telling the fucking to truth which was that four bloody years were wasted. That you were so idiot.

"(Y/N) it's not a big deal. They are just talking." She said and you scoffed, rolling your eyes at her words.

"It's not just that Aslaug. I had enough. This—" You paused and sighed hard, trying to find the right words to continue. Your hand moved on that place between your eyes and you rubbed it. "This is just the top of the iceberg. It's not like I hadn't understood from the beginning of our relationship that he was not over his ex, but I decided to ignore it and it took us here. These past weeks we have our problems and apparently they cannot be fixed. He wants her. I was just a distraction that lasted longer than expected. And it cost four years. Four wasted years of both our lives. So I am sorry but I can't waste another minute." You spoke frustrated and then you stopped to take another sigh. You turned to leave, but before you leave, you opened your mouth again. "Actually I am not sorry." You said lastly and you walked through the hall, to reach the exit. Your heels echoed when they collided with the floor. Some of the people in the hall turned to look at you. You ignored them all. You kept walking.

You tried to stay still and not cry. You kept saying to yourself to keep going, trying not to cry until you left that fucking house. When you were out of there, the air hit your face immediately and you felt free for a moment. Tears formed in your eyes and they fell like waterfalls down to your cheeks. You hated yourself for crying for a bloody man. A man that was too coward to admit that he didn't love you and loved another woman. A woman that betrayed him. And the worst of all this; you still loved him. You couldn't stop doing that. Ivar could yell, be mean or rude at you, but you wouldn't stop loving him. That man was your worst weakness. He was your destruction.

You didn't take any more step, because a strong hand gripped your elbow and turned you around to look at the person whose hand was wrapped around your elbow. You rolled your eyes when you saw that the hand belonged to Ivar. But that was a surprise for you. You didn't expect him to understand that you had gone, but he did. On the other hand, you were his partner for the eyes of the guests. Of course it was all about his public image and you were a part of it for almost four years, or so.

"What was all those bullshit you told to my mother?" He asked you angry. You tried to free your hand and he let you. If he didn't want to, your elbow would be trapped by his hand. This man was more stubborn than a bull.

"The truth. Just tell me that you don't love me. That you never had. That you always loved that woman inside there." You started saying and pointed at the door of the Lothbrok's mansion. The tears had stopped running from your eyes. Now you were angry. You wanted to spit him. To punch him. To curse him. Anything. But you didn't you stayed there, trying to keep yourself calm. "That these four years was just waste of time, because you don't have the balls to tell me the truth." You continued. You had pushed him to the edge. You told the worst thing you could say. You enraged him, pissed him off. His jaw clenched.

"How can you blame me when you—" He started saying pissed but you didn't let him finish. He wouldn't blame you for all this.

"What did I do? Didn't I get over my ex? Did I—" He stopped you this time. You were afraid that Ivar would explode because of his anger. He had the color of the tomato on his face, but not because of shyness or something, because of his anger.

"I get it all this is because of Freydis. You are jealous of her. Don't put the blame on him and don't make me say something that you don't want to hear." This last one was obviously slipped out of his mouth accidentally. You were right. You could everything clear.

"Oh my Gods!" You hissed and placed your hand on your mouth. He understood what he said, but didn't try to fix anything by doing it even worse. "You-you don't deny anything. You-you love her. Isn't that it?" You said, holding back the tears again. You were a fool. The worst fool in the history of the fools. He didn't answer. He didn't need to. You shook your head and closed your eyes for a moment. You sighed heavy and then opened then again. He had light a cigarette and placed it in his mouth. "I hope all this thing with Freydis to be right and have a good ending. I loved you. I love you. You will always have a special place inside my heart." You spoke again and laughed bitterly. "Heart. What will remain from that thing." You said and he frowned. You didn't give him any chance to tell anything. He didn't need to say anything. Everything was clear. "Have a good life and don't let anyone treat you less than you deserve, Ivar. You are different in the good way. I know it. Don't let their jealousy and stupid, meaningless words define you. You are meant for great things." You whispered and some tears fell on your cheeks. You turned your back at him and walked out of there. Tears were still running down to your cheeks.

Your heart was broken. Ivar broke it. He had destroyed you. Indeed, he became your destruction.

[fakeloveaskblog]

Hi!

sometimes i forget tumblr exists and i was indeed away

i just caught up to the story and f uck it was an emotional journey i will never recover from

can os please have an infinite infestation of tiny snails just everywhere for the rest of time because i hate him more than virgil

the watchers gc is absolutely spooky, with lil cobwebs and that one halloween font with orange and black and such, but the ringtone is horrificly contrasting to the layout, like lady gaga or smth

im so proud of remus! that is always a hard realisation and acceptance process, and to tell virgil like that was stunning.

Lukas i freakin love your writing, characterisation and just your way of making me feel deep emotions. you are so cooll

janus calling virgil goofy. thats it.

fellow british??

remy should stay at rowans place, i would love to see the conversations that happen

I hope you enjoy your break/vacay!!!!! You definetely deserve it :)) hopefully i will send more asks if i remember, gotta love short term memory

-🐌🕸

(hello C: welcome baaack. I'm back from my break as well and my dad has covid so I got lots of indoor quarantine time to write. Also Thanks!! im so glad you like my writing <33 i was kinda nervous i wouldn't be able to make it like emotionally strong enough after all the buildup so its really reasuring to hear

With your vote it is now a tie. 1 for Remy staying with Janus and 1 for Remy staying with Remus & Rowan. Either another person votes or I'll have to flip a coin fhjdk

btw ive seen some askblogs have like taglists. i can make a taglist for this blog if y'all want to? for memory help nd stuff)

Oswald was in the middle of brushing his teeth when he first noticed a tiny snail crawl on his hand. It moved onto the toothbrush and stopped to turn it's small snail head towards him.

It surprised him enough to make him drop the toothbrush into the sink. He took a step back and saw an entire horde of similarly tiny snails moving around his feet.

It barely took him a second of thinking before he grabbed onto the nearest heavy object and started swinging against any snail he could see. When he thought he had smacked one into a gooey little puddle he did a small smile to himself. But when he looked again the snail was still there. It stood still and stared directly up into his eyes.

He smacked the snail again and nothing changed. It was like the object simply went through it.

Oswald looked between the object in his hand and the many many snails on his floor before deciding to simply have a cigarette break.

-

"Ozzie you wouldn't mind cutting the fish you're supposed to instead of the table?" Oswald's coworker asked "The feeding is in 5 minutes, you know this! Are you high. Please don't tell me you're high. Last time a coworker was high here he nearly cut off his hand"

"It's a bit hard to focus on cutting fish heads when there is an infestation of snails all around me Brenda" He replied.

He chopped off one of the dead fishes' head while looking at her. It was muscle memory by now. She squinted at him.

"What snails?"

"Oh ha ha. You got me. Everyone is laughing. Good joke"

"There are three buckets of dead fish on the table but no snails and you better be finished with those three buckets in 5 minutes because I have a school class out there waiting to see some sharks snack on fish"

The coworker hadn't even had time to fully leave the room when Oswald muttered out some very mean words about her quite loudly. Something like "Din jävla hora"

"I can tell management if you insult me" She said while leaving.

"You can't prove anything sweetie!" He loudly replied in a fake cheery tone "Especially if it's in another language!"

--

"Just as a warning here, you're not afraid of octopi are you? Because I do have a little fella" Oswald asked.

"How the fuck should I know. Never seen one"

"I will take that as a no"

He had his hand gently intertwined with a short person as he lead them to his apartment. They were 20 years old. Give or take a few years. Looked a bit younger because of how tiny they were. They’d met only a couple hours ago.

He only let go of them to unlock the apartment door before holding it open for them. They ooohed and aaahed at the clean home. 

"And it's still free? Like you haven't changed your mind in the latest minute since I asked? I can just like stay?"

"Of course. It's no trouble at all. I have people crashing at my place constantly" He sent them a warm look "I just can't stop myself from helping when I see someone in need. I barely use the couch anyway!"

They excitedly shook his arm around "Thanks Os!!! Just the thought of having to couch crush for like a month before being able to move into my new place was really tearing at my nerves!"

They threw their arms around him. He loosely hugged them back and moved one of his hands to pet the top of their head.

"Now you only have to crash on one singular couch. Or you can take the bed. I don't min-"

"Are those also your..pets?" They suddenly asked. They pressed themself a bit closer to him.

"What are you referring to dear?"

"The uhm the snails" They looked around the room "How are there so many. What the- Where- Why would you even have this many. And you let them just roam around? Don't they- Don't they like eat cables? And clothes? And uhh bite on human fingers?"

He let up into a laugh "Snails? Don't be silly. Look sometimes large amounts of stress can just make your brain go a bit weird. Make you see things that aren't there"

"THe snail just touched me! It touched me! I can feel it!"

He tightened the hug. Just enough so they wouldn't notice. "All you need is some sleep, dinner, maybe a warm bath. You'll feel muc-"

"I- I think I just remembered a friend of mine said I could stay with him- yeah- I'll just uhm like call him-"

They pushed themself away from him and shook a few snails away from their foot before letting out a hasty goodbye as they rushed out of the apartment.

Oswald let out a long sigh and rubbed his forehead as he could feel a headache start to kick in. He half assedly tried to step on one of the snails which of course didn't seem affected by it in the slightest.

"So now you decide to be visible huh" He muttered "Are you snails suddenly allergic to girls perhaps. Hopefully you're allergic to hammers as well"

[correct-saw-quotes]

“I don't know what you heard about me, but a bitch can't get a dollar out of me. No Cadillac, no perms, you can't see, that I'm a motherfuckin' P.I.M.P!”

- Brenda, Saw IV

[peterspideyy]

sweater party | day four

12 days of christmas masterlist

summary- going to a christmas party with a newt who just wants to cuddle

warnings- newt being pissed at everyone but you, fluff, modern!au maze runner

————

“newt! y/n! hey!” thomas smiled, running up to the couple who was just about to enjoy their time together, before he interrupted.

“what, tommy?!” newt shouted, causing you to stifle a laugh.

“woah, sorry newt.” thomas replied, as newt sighed placing his head on your shoulder, arms wrapped around your waist tightly, as he enjoyed your warmth, causing you to smile at the action.

you both haven’t seen each other for weeks, due to the hundreds of lessons you’ve both had and of course mock exams. so you could say the lack of time seeing each other, has really took a toll on you both.

you both just missed each other to much.

and with your school breaking up for christmas break, you both finally had a free hour. so, of course newt immediately grabbed at the chance to meet up with you in the school grounds, and just do absolutely nothing which you both loved doing.

so, you could say newt was pissed at tommy for interrupting your precious time.

“what’s up, thomas?” you questioned, as the blonde haired boy whined on your shoulder, starting to rub his thumb softly on your waist.

“oh, nothing.”

newt lifted his head up at this, “and you think its bloody okay to interrupt mine and y/n’s time-“

“i was just wondering,” thomas inturrupted, starring at newt as a warning, “if you’re still coming to my christmas party tonight?”

you forgot about that.

and by the look on newt’s face he did too.

“err,” newt started glancing at you, “i think we’re just going to stay in tonight.”

thomas’ eyes went wide, “why? you promised you would come!”

“oh, yeah we did.” you mumbled, looking at newt who had pleading eyes, shaking his head slightly.

“please come guys, i don’t think i’ll be able to handle drunk minho on my own.” he argued, causing newt to nod his head, agreeing with him.

drunk minho was difficult to control, let’s say.

“please. please. please. please-“

“if you say please one more time tommy, i’m going to bloody knock-“

“and on that note,” you cut off your boyfriend, before this innocent conversation turned aggressive, smiling at thomas, “we’ll be there.”

“thank you.” thomas beamed, before running away, looking for brenda to ask if she was coming.

as thomas was out of view, newt turned to face you, pouting.

“but, i wanted to cuddle with you, tonight.” he complained.

“it’s only one night, love, and then we have the rest of the holidays to spend time together.” you cooed, leaning in to kiss his nose, causing him to pout even more.

“but-“

“no buts, darling. we are bloody going.”

newt groaned in annoyance.

but, he still kissed your cheek nevertheless.

————

“why did i agree to come.”

“because it’ll be fun to spend time with our friends.” you replied, brushing your hair quickly, before turning to face your pouting boyfriend.

“but, why do i have to wear this?!”

newt gestured to his santa christmas sweater that he paired with black jeans and a pair of vans, with his blonde hair pushed messily to the side.

he looked absolutely adorable.

“i hate it.” he wined.

“it’s a christmas sweater party for a reason, newtie.” you laughed, turning to look at yourself in the mirror. you were wearing a rudolph sweater, with black jeans as well. you caught newt’s eyes, who was looking back at you in awe.

“you’re so bloody cute, love.” he mumbled, causing you to blush.

“if you keep on complimenting me, i’ll regret agreeing to go to this party.” you laughed, turning to face him properly. he smirked, wrapping his arms around you, and placing a quick peck of your lips.

“as much as i would love to stay here and do this all night, we should be going.” newt whispered against your lips, before pulling away, intertwining his hands with yours, and leaving the house to head to thomas’.

————

“if it isn’t the best couple in town!” thomas greeted after opening the door, making you and newt to chuckle slightly.

“come in! come in!” he ushered, moving to the side, to let you both in.

“love the jumper newt.” thomas winked, causing newt to put the middle finger up at him.

“blame them for forcing me to wear one!” he argued back.

you gasped, “hey! don’t blame me!”

newt turned to face you, smirking at you, placing a quick kiss on your forehead, while thomas watched the couple with a slight smile.

“drinks are in the back room, and yeah have fun!” he smiled, leaving you both to look at the house.

you don’t think you have seen that much christmas decorations in a house before.

literally, top to bottom there was something christmassy.

“i think tommy likes christmas.” newt mumbled into your ear, causing you to hum in agreement. “want a drink?”

you turned to face your boyfriend, nodding gratefully, making him squeeze your hand (still in his) reassuringly, causing you to smile.

he knew you hated when he left you. even for a minute.

“i’ll be back, love.” he spoke, barely even audible over the loud music blaring into the room, with people singing and laughing loudly. you looked around, not even noticing newt looking at you, before you caught eyes of teresa and brenda.

“i’ll be over there.” you pointed to the corner, causing newt to nod, placing a kiss on your forehead before leaving your side. you watched him leave, immediately being hugged by gally and alby, before you made your way to the girls.

“hey!” you greeted, engulfing them both in a tight hug.

“hi, y/n! cute sweater.” brenda smiled, while teresa nodded in agreement, sipping her drink.

“got any plans for christmas?” teresa asked.

you smiled, “probably spending time with newt.”

“ohh, is he treating you well?” brenda questioned.

you blushed, looking down, “yeah. super well.”

“he’s good for you, y/n.” teresa commented, making brenda hum in agreement.

you were about to reply, but saw teresa and brenda, smiling mischievously at something just past you. you furrowed your brows, about to ask what’s happened, but a pair of hands covered your eyes, causing you to gasp, and turn around, ready to see who your attacker was.

but, the laughter of your boyfriend filled the air around you, causing you to instantly relax.

“did i scare you then, darling?” he asked, giggling, lowering his hands to cup your face.

“yeah, you did.” you chuckled, heart still racing with butterflies from the way newt’s eyes lingered on your lips.

“where’s our drinks?” you asked, gesturing to newt’s empty hands.

“oh, minho’s got them.” he paused looking over the sea of heads, before freezing, “he’s coming over-“

“y/n!”

“now.” newt laughed, and minho soon came into sight, walking in zig-zags with your drinks in his hand, laughing loudly.

yeah, he was drunk.

“how have you been?!” he slurred, handing newt your drinks, before wrapping his arms around you tightly, causing all the air in your lungs to be knocked out of you.

“woah, let y/n breath, yeah?” newt warned minho, insantly becoming protective over you.

“it’s fine,” you gasped, as minho pulled away, “i think he just missed me.”

minho laughed loudly, “they’re so funny.”

you glanced at newt, confusingly, causing him to shrug slightly.

“did you miss us?” teresa teasingly asked, on behalf of brenda.

minho froze, turning to face them, with a blank expression.

“no.”

you and newt burst out laughing, while the girls just stood, eyes wide.

“kidding!” minho shouted, nudging them both, before wrapping his arms around you and newt, leading you away.

“maybe.” he mumbled, while you and your boyfriend cried with laughter.

————

you and newt were at home now. and you could say you were both very very very drunk. thanks to minho.

“take a shot newt, if you love y/n!” minho shouted, and before he could finish newt gulped down the glass of vodka, pulling a face at the strong taste.

“y/n, take a shot if you love newt’s accent!”

“are you trying to get us smashed?” you giggled, throwing the shot back, wincing at the taste.

“nooo, i would never do that.” he replied, words slurred together, before taking another shot.

“what’s that one for?” newt questioned.

“because i love myself.”

you fell on your bed, with newt falling down beside you, head in the pillow as he groaned loudly.

“if i get a massive hangover in the morning, i’m going to kill minho.”

you laughed, tears falling down at the comment, causing newt to turn to face, you pouting for the hundredth time today.

“i’m being serious.” he wined, as you carried on laughing.

“that’s what’s so funny about it!” you replied, between laughs.

newt couldn’t stay serious at you for long, and soon smiled at the most precious view of you laughing. he was so smitten for you.

“i love you.” he blurted out, causing your laughs to freeze.

you turned to face newt, a smile forming on your face, as you placed your hands on his cheek, leaning in to place a quick kiss on his lips, before leaning back.

“i love you too.”

“good,” he beamed, bringing his hand up to stroke your cheek softly, “now kiss me properly.”

you stuck your tongue out teasingly, before closing the gap between you, as you both melted into each other.

and as the morning came round, and your hangover was stronger than ever before, you still found yourself and newt saying sweet nothings to each other.

————

a/n- sorry for the late update! i’ll be posting day 5 and 6, tommorow- ive just been super busy with work. also, i wanted to write so much for this, but i was just rushing to get this up, sorry :/

————

christmas masterlist-

@parkersbliss @liberty-barnes @lilacsnid @potentialhappiness @eternal-maniac

[birdhaslostit]

🎁🎄❄️What the Lupin Gang would do for Christmas!❄️🎄🎁

Helloooooooo Lupin fans! You may or may not remember me as that one chick who made that Halloween headcanon post a few months back, as well as the Jigen’s bangs post. I’m back with a Christmas post!!!

Please note: Personally, I really only celebrate Christmas in a non-Jesus-y way. (Which is how I’m also writing this post, because let’s be honest, do you really think Lupin is going to confession and shit? Absolutely not.) It’s purely out of habit because I was raised Catholic, but I practice witchcraft now. My family doesn’t know that though. Because of this, I considered also making posts for other winter holidays, so I could include Lupin fans that don’t celebrate Christmas. But I didn’t want to accidentally mess it up, or write something inaccurate about a holiday that I don’t celebrate. It felt disingenuous to make a Hanukkah post because I’m not Jewish and it doesn’t seem like my place, and I didn’t want to do a Yule one either, because no two people celebrate it the same way. So, I strongly encourage others to add their respective winter festivities to this post if they want to! We’re all about inclusivity here.

Without further ado:

🎁LUPIN:

I don’t feel like it needs saying, but this man goes bonkers for Christmas.

He flip-flops his choice of red or green jacket by the year. But it always comes with an equally garish Christmas-themed tie, just to make explicitly clear that this is The Christmas Jacket for the year, as opposed to the standard red/green jacket.

The hideout(s) are always decorated to the GILLS inside. It’s an odd mix of older classy decorations he’s inherited from his family, and absolutely horrendously tacky ones he’s bought himself. 

Picture real branch garlands, wrapped tastefully around gilded candelabras that have been passed down through several generations. And then one of those singing, dancing stuffed animals from Walmart that plays “Jingle Bell Rock” when you squeeze its paw, right next to it.

Christmas-themed heists? You know it, baby. But he won’t steal anything on Christmas Eve or Christmas. It just isn’t in the spirit of the season, in his opinion. But he’ll leave a little something-something with his calling cards during the rest of December. A candy cane, a sprig of mistletoe, a bough of holly, etc.

Lupin despises eggnog. He loves any other Christmas drink, just not eggnog. He’s too grossed out by the idea of drinking eggs with alcohol- some things just shouldn’t be mixed.

Will not allow anyone to mention the truth about Santa Claus in his presence. Yeah, he knows, but that’s not the point. It just feels like bad luck to say it out loud. The harder Jigen tries to debate with him that Santa isn’t real, the harder he digs in his heels that “of course he is you absolute Scrooge, how dare you! If you don’t believe, you don’t receive.”

Favorite Christmas Songs: Anything peppy! 

Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney

Step Into Christmas by Elton John

Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree by Brenda Lee

We Need a Little Christmas by Percy Faith and his Orchestra

A Holly Jolly Christmas by Burl Ives

All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey

Santa Claus’ Party by Les Baxter

Favorite Christmas Drinks: Literally anything except eggnog.

Favorite Christmas Foods: Anything obscenely sugary. Especially gingerbread men and other decorated pastries.

Favorite Christmas Activities: Loves to ice skate and make gingerbread houses! But his houses usually look fairly pathetic, no matter how hard he tries.

Favorite Christmas Movie(s): 

The Grinch (Jim Carrey version)

Home Alone

Scrooged

Christmas Gifts: The king of gag gifts, but he also gives surprisingly thoughtful presents too. He’s the kind of guy that would get a person something they mentioned once offhandedly that they really liked, and he’d go back and get it for them.

🎅JIGEN:

Lupin always wants to decorate the hideout(s) the second Halloween ends, but it never happens. With Jigen being the only American in the gang, he always puts a stop to it in order to preserve the quickly-disappearing border between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

What can I say, dude loves his Thanksgiving excuse to eat like shit and do nothing for a day. Even if it is a fucked-up holiday, historically speaking.

But once the Thanksgiving meal is over, he gives Lupin the okay to go crazy. He’s pretty stoked about Christmas too, but too full of turkey to contribute, so he just watches Lupin hang up Christmas lights everywhere while he lays on the couch and digests.

Jigen likes Christmas a lot, but like, in a normal person kind of way. Nowhere near Lupin’s insane level. He’s surprisingly open about his enthusiasm too. The average person would think he doesn’t really care about Christmas much (or anything else really), but to the gang, Christmastime is the most openly excited they’ve ever seen him.

One year’s Christmas-themed heist involved Jigen dressing up as a mall Santa as a part of the plan. The gang powdered his beard, gave him a pillow for his stomach, and sent him on his way. Everything went surprisingly smoothly, and he actually did pretty well with the kids. At first they were a little intimidated, and Jigen was kind of nervous- but he gave them all candy canes and they changed their minds pretty quickly.

Jigen enjoyed it a lot, actually... to the point that he may have potentially started volunteering to be the local mall Santa. Every year during December, he leaves for a day or two on “business.” Nobody in the gang can prove it though, and trust me, they’ve tried.

Favorite Christmas Songs: The classics and the chill ones, with a few rock ones thrown in for a little kick.

Mele Kalikimaka by Bing Crosby

Sleigh Bells by Gene Autry

(There’s No Place Like) Home For The Holidays by Perry Como

Jingle Bells by Frank Sinatra

Caroling, Caroling by Nat King Cole

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow by Dean Martin

Silver Bells by Dean Martin

Happy Holiday by Bing Crosby

Run Rudolph Run by Chuck Berry

Merry Christmas Baby by Bruce Springsteen (Sang this once after too much eggnog and will never live it down)

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen by the Barenaked Ladies (He’s not into all the Jesus-y stuff, but it’s pretty catchy.)

Favorite Christmas Drinks: Jigen is ALL. ABOUT. THAT. NOG. He’ll make his cup a little stronger than everyone else’s.

Favorite Christmas Foods: He really likes candy canes, especially the mini ones. He’ll keep a few in his pocket with his cigs, and switch between them depending on his mood. Out of habit, it’ll usually dangle out of his mouth like a cigarette would.

Favorite Christmas Activities: Watching Christmas movies and laughing at Lupin’s shitty gingerbread houses.

Favorite Christmas Movies: 

Anything that’s on at the moment, really. He likes to lounge by the TV, and he’s not picky. 

He has a soft spot for A Charlie Brown Christmas though.

A Christmas Story, solely because of the BB gun.

Scrooged, because Bill Murray’s hilarious.

Christmas Gifts: Something practical and useful that the person never realized they needed until they opened the box.

☃️GOEMON:

Goemon wasn’t originally a huge fan of Christmas. Shocking, I know.

He now enjoys some aspects of it, and tolerates others. He likes the idea of giving heartfelt gifts and spending time with loved ones as a tradition, but dislikes the cheesy commercial aspect of Christmas.

He already enjoys the snow and walking through the forest, so the gang usually commissions him to pick a tree for them and cut it down with Zantetsuken. (If they’re somewhere where that’s an option.)

Unbeknownst to the rest of the gang, he will always replant the tree he cut down, and he will wrap something cozy around the bottom of the sapling to keep it safe. Yes, this was directly inspired by A Charlie Brown Christmas. No, he will not admit to this.

Favorite Christmas Songs: The instrumentals, and a few he’d rather die than admit to liking.

The Nutcracker March from The Nutcracker

Waltz of the Flowers from The Nutcracker

Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy from The Nutcracker

Christmas Time Is Here (Instrumental) by the Vince Guaraldi Trio

Greensleeves by the Vince Guaraldi Trio

Last Christmas by Wham! (He likes the storyline and the romantic aspect of it.)

Do They Know It’s Christmas? by Band Aid (He likes that it was for a good cause, even if it has its flaws.)

Happy Xmas (War Is Over) by John Lennon and Yoko Ono (Again, flawed, but he enjoys the intended message of peace. Also, represents Japan on the side with Yoko Ono.)

White Winter Hymnal by Fleet Foxes

Favorite Christmas Drinks: Surprisingly fond of hot cocoa. Heavy on the whipped cream and marshmallows. 

Favorite Christmas Foods: Doesn’t really like eating gingerbread men, but enjoys decorating them. They’re always pristine, like something you’d get in a bakery.

Favorite Christmas Activities: See above. Also enjoys going out in the snow, and making ice sculptures with Zantetsuken.

Favorite Christmas Movies: Refuses to admit he likes any of these.

Any of the classic Rankin Bass claymation specials.

Any other animated ones for kids. Has a soft spot for A Charlie Brown Christmas and The Polar Express.

A few of those cheesy Hallmark ones.

Christmas Gifts: Something small and sentimental he saw while walking by a store that reminded him of the person he’s giving it to. Nothing extravagant, but thoughtful nonetheless.

⛸FUJIKO:

Fujiko decorates the tree. Period. Lupin cannot be trusted to do this on his own. Goemon picks the tree, Lupin and Jigen put it in the stand, and from there, it’s all Fujiko. The ornaments, lights, and tree skirt are all perfectly color/theme coordinated, and arranged like a pristine store display. 

She also has a few ornaments that she bought for each specific member of the gang. Lupin’s is a monkey (he was not pleased, but he’s whipped for her, so he let her keep it). Jigen’s is a carved wooden pistol. Goemon’s is porcelain, with hand-painted sakura blossoms on it. She bought one for Zenigata too as a joke one year- a tiny bowl of ramen noodles.

Her ornament? The star on top of the tree, because she’s the star of the show, baby. It’s actually a snowflake, made of the finest crystal she could steal.

Favorite Christmas Songs: Pop music and Motown’s finest.

Underneath The Tree by Kelly Clarkson

All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey

Santa Tell Me by Ariana Grande

This Christmas by Donny Hathaway

What Christmas Means To Me by Stevie Wonder

Sleigh Ride by The Ronettes 

Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree by Brenda Lee

Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) by Darlene Love

A Marshmallow World by Darlene Love

I Like A Sleighride (Jingle Bells) by Peggy Lee

Favorite Christmas Drinks: Hot chocolate and mulled wine.

Favorite Christmas Foods: Loves baking and eating gingerbread men. She lets Goemon decorate them with her. Hers have lots of candy and sprinkles on them, while his are just icing.

Favorite Christmas Activities: Along with baking, ice skating! She’s the best at it out of the whole group. None of the guys are particularly good at it, but she makes them go with her at least once regardless.

Favorite Christmas Movies:

Hallmark ones, solely to make fun of them.

Babes In Toyland, but only the 1986 one, because it has Keanu Reeves in it, and “I don’t care if I’m your girlfriend, Lupin. In this house, we support Keanu Reeves.”

Christmas Gifts: Something expensive/extravagant that will make the person think of her every time they use it.

🎄ZENIGATA:

Zenigata is the second biggest Christmas enthusiast, just behind Lupin.

He doesn’t get to settle down and decorate anything really, since he’s always running after the gang, but he does lots of other little things to celebrate instead. Like getting hot chocolate instead of coffee, tuning the squad car radio to the Christmas station, getting an air freshener that smells like gingerbread, and wearing a festive scarf and gloves with his trench coat to keep out the cold.

In years past, Zenigata still had to work on Christmas Eve/Christmas, even if Lupin wasn’t out stealing anything. Lupin found out and thought that was a little harsh of ICPO, so he came up with a plan. 

Each year he sends a calling card to the station with the conditions that only Zenigata can come to investigate. Zenigata does some research, shows up to the location on Christmas Eve, and every year, nothing’s there except for a neatly wrapped present from Lupin. 

Zenigata keeps the present as “evidence,” goes back to the station, and they give him Christmas off to go investigate on his own, in case Lupin tries anything else. Lupin never does, but the station doesn’t know that. Bada bing, bada boom, Lupin just got Zenigata a vacation.

Zenigata never catches on, bless his heart.

Favorite Christmas Songs: Ones he can sing/hum along to in the squad car.

The Man With All The Toys by The Beach Boys

Celebrate Me Home by Kenny Loggins

Feliz Navidad by José Feliciano (Does Zenigata understand Spanish? Absolutely not. Does he get the point and think it’s festive? Darn right.)

A Holly Jolly Christmas by Burl Ives

Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer by Dean Martin

Winter Wonderland by the Eurythmics

Silver Bells by Dean Martin

Happy Holiday/The Holiday Season by Andy Williams

Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town by Gene Autry

December by Earth, Wind, and Fire (Let him have this okay, it’s a good song and he gets made fun of for liking it by the rest of ICPO)

Skating by the Vince Guaraldi Trio

Favorite Christmas Drinks: Hot cocoa and eggnog, but not strong eggnog like Jigen’s.

Favorite Christmas Foods: Anything, really. It’s something besides cup noodles, so he’s grateful. Lupin’s gift always includes lots of various Christmas goodies because of this.

Favorite Christmas Activities: Zenigata enjoys the snow in theory, but doesn’t handle the cold well. So he likes to watch the snow from his window while he listens to Christmas music in his squad car and sips his hot cocoa.

Favorite Christmas Movies: He doesn’t really have a lot of time to sit down a watch a movie, with how hard he works. But he remembers a few from when he was younger, and he really likes those. His favorite is Frosty the Snowman.

Christmas Gifts: Something inexpensive because ICPO vastly underpays this poor man, and he’s always embarrassed because of that, but it’s always something super sweet and heartfelt.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! And for those who don’t celebrate it, HAPPY HOLIDAYS! <3

[vonnyphant]

To Blog or Not to Blog?

“You should start a diary and write about your experiences. It may help people going through the same thing.”

Honestly? If there’s one thing I discovered about this diagnosis, it’s that it makes me pretty damn selfish. I don’t want to help other people (not just yet, anyway). But putting some thoughts down about this time in my life may be of some sort of therapeutic value, and I do want to help myself. 

(Maybe for once, saving the world can wait. Do you remember how, soon after the pandemic hit, people stopped avoiding plastic and single-use items? When your health is at risk, suddenly rainforests and polar bears and the planet are deprioritised- not that anyone will admit to this. But this is my diary and I can say what I want!* Writing for myself it is.)

Having established my less-than-Mother-Theresa-like reasons for this blog, my conscience cleared, it’s time to start. This is where the Lifetime movie shows me, in a half daze, mellowed out on drugs while they sew a mediport into my chest to start administering chemicals. A fast lane to my bloodstream. A docking station. The soundtrack? Hopefully ‘Across The Universe’ by the Beatles (possibly Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. If I get a say in it, I veto The Walrus) Time to pump this body full of drugs that’ll make my hair fall out. 

Wait, what?

Voice Over: “Yep. That’s me. You’re probably wondering what I am doing here…” //record scratch - freeze frame - fast rewind to the psychedelic outtro of A Day In The Life//

Two months ago, during rub-a-dub-in-the-tub (less naughty than it sounds, was just washing myself), my mind inexplicably went to an episode of Beverly Hills 90210, s1 (aired in 1992- yes, I am that old), where Brenda Walsh has a breast cancer scare. I say inexplicably, because my usual shower fantasies do not include Ms Shannon Doherty - if I was going to pick a shower lady, I’d opt for Charlize Theron, Kiera Knightly or Winona Ryder in their short-hair phases, but that is neither here nor there. 

Say what you want for 90s television- weird outfits and ponytails notwithstanding, in their AfterSchoolSpecial PSA way, they dedicated a whole scene to the girls giving themselves a breast exam, including how-to instructions**, and eventhough I was only 11 years old when I saw it, I remembered what to do, and for the last 30 years, every now and then I have randomly carried it out while wondering how I always preferred Brandon over Dylan and how my tastes have changed over time.

But this time - my hand actually found something.

I took a deep breath and calmed myself down the same way I did after finding spots on my skin, lumps on my head and every time I sneezed since covid-19; by telling myself to fucking snap out of my hypochondria tendencies. One cannot go to the doctor every damn day after all. Breast tissue is pretty lumpy and I assumed it was just imaginary. I made an appointment to see a therapist, and  put it out of my mind until a few weeks later, when one of the kids came crashing down on me (literally) and faceplanted in my boob (as they do). 

Now this always hurts af, but it just hurt that little more that day, so that I grabbed the appendage in question and went “WHAT THE--!” And I felt it again- the lump, more defined than a few weeks before. 

Cue a lot more freaking out than the first time, and after a sleepless night, imagining what my funeral would look like (as one does), I decided to go to the gynocologist the same day or risk never to sleep again.

After a long wait and an ultrasound, my doctor assured me that while there really was a mass, it had every indication of being benign. We should keep an eye on it. If I was worried, I could schedule a second screening, but would not likely get an appointment before April. I scheduled one and tried to focus on preparing our first lockdown Christmas. 

But over the holidays, the lump started hurting, even when I wasn’t poking it or having a kid catapult themselves into my chest. I’d be Netflix and Chilling, and suddenly - ZAP - like someone stuck a hot needle into it. Repeatedly. My nipple would go numb or start tingling like a bodypart that fell asleep. It freaked me out, and in the new year, I realised I couldn’t wait until April - I had to get it checked out again or I may worry myself to death.

My gynocologist did another ultrasound and again, told me not to worry. I told her it was way too late for that as I had been worried for weeks, and I wanted the thing biopsied (they gave Brenda Walsh one too, after all! It’s the only way to be 100% sure). She referred me to the hospital. At the description of my symptoms, I could come directly, and the radiologist told me in no unclear terms: “I will not let you leave this room until we draw blood and take several biopsies.” Okay- not exactly what one wants to hear at that point, but at the same time, I figured knowing would be better than guessing by the shape of it.

Test results took a week. I went in, being prepared to be told (like Brenda) it was a harmless clump of random cells or a cyst we could have removed like a wart. Only it wasn’t. It was breast cancer, an aggressive, fast-growing kind, and had I waited until April, that could have had disastrous consequences.

While the doctor explained we now needed to determine the scope of the spread and take more tissue to determine what kind of chemo (if any) could be applied, all my 2020-PTSD brain could think was: 

“.............of course”. 

Didn’t hear much of what she said afterwards.

Another harrowing 4 days went by, with a CT screening with contrast solutions that gave me an intense stomach ache as well as a migraine, and finally, a fully rounded diagnosis and treatment advice could be made. 

Thankfully, all my organs as well as lymphnodes were clear, so it appears to be a localised tumor. And here we are - to fight this thing with chemicals and then cut out whatever is left. Genetics testing to see about the likelihood of a recurrency (and a possible double mastectomy if so - ‘pulling an Angelina Jolie’, ‘not saving the tatas’, insert ‘Think About It meme’...can’t have breast cancer if you don’t have breasts! THINK ABOUT IT***). 

Chances are good. I need to cling to that while I wait for this port and treatment to start. I have accepted the inevitable hair loss, have scheduled a ritual ‘crazy hair cutting party’ with my kids for this weekend (as I would rather shave it off in one go than clean up clumps and strands over the course of weeks and look like Gollum), and I have sewn several funny little hats for inside wear and ‘going out’ (though where will I be going in pandemic, idk). 

I was going to end this post on a light and happy note - but I must admit my confidence just took a really big hit in real time, as I googled how to spell Shannon’s last name for this blog entry and found out that she was treated for breast cancer in 2015, initially succesfully, but it reappeared metastasized in 2020 (again: ‘of course...when else’) and she is now in stage IV. Fuck 2020.

What are the odds that the woman whose character made me discover my own breast cancer is now, in fact, dying of the same disease? This will surely haunt me for a long time to come.

More tomorrow? Or soon? It may take a while. Until then: outro to It’s Getting Better.

*also for the record I would like to state that I’ve sewn my own masks from upcycled pillowcases and continued using fruit- and vegetable nets to avoid plastic; maybe that makes up for me being utterly selfish at the moment. Karma +1?

** https://youtu.be/pkgYXITkrfw (the scene from BH 90210)

***cis men / trans women without breasts can also get breast cancer (even though it’s rare) so this meme doesn’t really hold up, but that’s the whole point of the meme ;)

[monicaposh]

Do you watch any other shows? If so, who do you Ship?

xoxo

Hmm. Obviously Varchie but I assume that’s what you meant by ‘other shows’. Surprisingly I watch a lot of shows without heavy ships or I’m just indifferent to them. Below are some of my all time fave show ships tho, might add to this if I missed any:

90210 — Brenda & Dylan ofc. One of my first ships 🥺 They live in my mind rent free. Stay tuned for a fun take on them in the next installment of across the stars!!

SBTB — Zack & Kelly forever. They have owned me for almost thirty years. This show is certainly outdated but I loved it growing up. You can’t imagine how many times I’ve rewatched the Vegas wedding 😂 also I don’t claim the reboot

Dawson’s Creek — Pacey & Joey this was one of the biggest coming of age shows on the air when I was growing up. I shipped Joey with Dawson for the first ten years of my life until seeing the light during a rewatch with my girlfriends in college. Ships aside- watch this because it’s a classic.

Gilmore Girls — Rory & Logan ofc Ive been in too many debates over who was best suited together but Logan Huntzberger ALL DAY. although the REAL OTP of this series will forever be the twin pillars of strength Richard & Emily

Gossip Girl — Blair & Nate *it should be noted I heavily multiship in the gg world (obviously) even the darker ships, crack ships and those from the books that never saw the light of day. Erik and Blair were a ship in the books I loved but Nair will always be my OTP. Don’t @ me. I come from nearly twenty years of gossip girl background and my origin lies with the book series. So many missed moments the show couldn’t even begin to capture. The ruby ring, the heart pin, two teen lovers sailing the sea together feeding each other artichoke hearts, ugh they are everything to me. Goes to rewatch The Grandfather ep and reread the books! (I’m also a Blair/Nate/Serena enthusiast)

The Office — Jim & Pam this adorable and quirky work romance certainly resembles how my own marriage came to be and I have such a soft spot for these two. I love this show and I love this ship!

The OC — Seth & Summer (Alexa play champagne supernova) but also ofc Ryan & Marissa. Literally the greatest core four to exist. A dynamic foursome of two great ships that Riverdale only wishes it could replicate. Also- top tier soundtrack.

OUAT — Snow & Charming, (I will always find you 🥺) and CaptainSwan/OutlawQueen. this show is always a comforting one to rewatch for me. The best take on Snow White and Prince Charming I could ask for from my favorite Disney pairing of all time. My wedding was inspired by their Enchanted Forest I loved it so much! Also the unexpected ships of beloved fairytale characters created through the storylines are truly amazing!

PLL — Haleb and Spoby forever!! Both of these ships drove me through every season (except the one we don’t speak of🥴). Scrabble games, secret living arrangements, ugh missing it all! Though I’d be lying if I didn’t love Wren Kingston shaking things up from time to time.

SATC — Charlotte & Harry ugh the unforeseen romance, a Park Avenue princess falling for her seemingly sloppy divorce lawyer, the conversion to Judaism, and OF COURSE Elizabeth Taylor. This couple is forever a favorite of mine!

Honorable Mentions:

The Wonder Years — Kevin & Winnie 🥺 hurts so good

The Sopranos — Tony & Carmela

True Blood — Eric & Sookie

Boy Meets World — Shawn & Angela

*This is probably more than you asked for but once you had me thinking I couldn’t stop 😂 I’ll be back if I think of any others or have new ones to add as I watch other shows! Currently watching lost!

[nothingbutfangirlsmut]

The Trials of Emi

Pairing: A little Minho. A sprinkle of Frypan. Gally x Emi(OC)

Summary: Emi, her twin brother Thomas, and a small group of gladers had been rescued and taken to a safe haven. Or so it seemed. It doesn't take long for Thomas to realize something is wrong. What happens next is a true trial for all of them but Emi's trials began the moment she was ripped away from a dying Gally. Watching someone you love die right before your eyes truly takes a toll.

Finally meeting the right arm could have been the end but betrayal leads to even more chaos and loss. A new mission to rescue those taken from them leads them to a city. The last city. After Emi finally comes to terms with everything that's happened something unfolds that changes everything again. She will have to not only deal with helping her brother take down WCKD and save their friend but also deal with all the new problems in her head and her heart.

Rating: As of right now it’s at most PG13. Some strong language that’s about it but it could change.

(This is the 2nd part/book to my other story "The Maze trials: A Gally Fanfiction". This will cover the events of the scorch trails and the death cure.)

Chapter Sixteen

We followed Gally through the crowded building. Thomas was walking next to him with Newt and Brenda right behind them. Fry and I were the next in line. Fry was still holding my hand to keep me next to him. Jorge pulled up the rear behind us.

"After the maze, I got picked up by a group headed to the city. They realized I was immune, patched me up, and brought me here to Lawrence. His troops have been at war with WCKD ever since they took control of the city. WCKD can't hide behind those walls forever. The day's gonna come and their gonna pay for what they've done." Gally explained as we walked.

We stopped at the end of the hall we were in. Gally turned to face us.

"Listen, uh, he doesn't get a lot of visitors. So, let me do the talking alright? Try not to stare." Gally said then turned to walk again.

We followed behind him to the end of this hall then down a set of stairs into what looked like some kind of living area. Two men were standing at the end of the room by some homemade garden.

"Gally, glad to see you made it back. Jasper told me about what happened." One of the men said.

He seemed to be playing with a flower. He was hooked to some kind of wire that was attached to a metal pole on wheels.

"It was a slaughter. There's nothing we could do against those guns." Gally told the man.

"No, but they can only poke the hornet's nest so long before they get stung. Who are these people? Why are they here?" The man asked without looking at any of us.

"We need to get into WCKD. Gally said you can get us threw the walls." Thomas stepped forward to stand next to Gally.

"Gally should know better than make promises he can't keep. Besides, that wall is only half your problem. Getting inside WCKD is impossible." The man said.

"There might be a way now. It doesn't work without Thomas." Gally said.

"Is that so?" The man asked turning towards us.

His face was still hidden from the light streaming through the windows behind him. He walked forward toward Thomas. The light hit his face. I had to bite my lip to keep from gasping. He was a crank. At least he looked like one. He stopped right in front of Thomas. He leaned forward putting his face only an inch from Thomas.

"Do you know what I am Thomas?" He leaned back.

"I am a businessman which means I don't take unnecessary risks. Why should I trust you?" He asked narrowing his eyes at Thomas.

"Cause I can help you. You see, if you can get me through those walls I can get you what you need." Thomas told him.

"And what is it that you think I need?" He asked slowly.

Thomas looked at the IV like set up the man had next to him.

"Time. Every last drop." Thomas told him.

The man chuckled then glanced at his IV.

"Is that what I need?" He asked.

"WCKD has something we both want." Thomas said simply.

"I'll tell you what. Two can go for now the rest stay here with me. Just a little insurance to make sure you find your way back. Do we have a deal?" The man extended his hand to Thomas.

Thomas looked at it for a second then shook it.

"Gally, show them the way." The man said with a hint of a smile.

We followed Gally into another open room. In the middle was an old metal cover on the ground.

"Who's going?" Gally asked Thomas.

"Newt and I will go. Fry, you keep an eye on Emi for me." Thomas ordered.

Gally looked up to me raising an eyebrow.

"Tommy you damn well know I don't need a baby sitter." I said harshly.

Thomas stepped over to me. He grabbed each side of my face making sure I only looked at him.

"I know you can protect yourself but until I know for sure that this situation is trustworthy I'd rather you have someone else looking out for you. I don't think your mind is exactly clear right now." He said softly.

I pulled his hands away from me as I scoffed.

"Of course my head isn't clear! I woke up this morning knowing that man was dead!" I pointed at Gally but kept my eyes on my brother.

"Emi" Gally said softly.

"Just go Thomas. I'm not gonna have a damn break down." I said harshly then turned away from him.

Thomas sighed but left me alone. I turned back as I heard the metal cover being moved. Gally shoved it to the side. Fry, Thomas, and Newt leaned over to look down the hole. Gally put a ladder inside it then moved to start climbing down.

"Gally, take care of these two. I'm pretty sure that Emi will truly kill you if anything happens to either of them." Fry chuckled.

"Yea" Gally nodded as he looked Fry over for a moment then started down the ladder.

I watched both Thomas and Newt climb down then I sighed as I ran my hands down my face. Fry, Brenda, and Jorge were all standing around me the next second.

"Are you okay?" Fry asked softly.

I looked at him. Is he serious?

"No Fry, I am far from okay. My brother is being a jackass and oh yea, my dead boyfriend is actually alive!" I shouted in frustration.

Fry stepped back from me looking hurt.

"You wanna talk about it?" Brenda asked cautiously.

I chuckled dryly.

"I think I've done enough talking. I want to punch something." I growled then quickly left the room.

I walked back into the room the crank businessman was in. He stopped what he was doing to look at me.

"You look tense my dear." He said.

"You don't say," I said sarcastically.

The man chuckled.

"What could be so bothersome?" He asked tilting his head to the side.

"No offense but if I don't want to talk to my friends about it I certainly don't want to talk to you about it." I snapped.

The man chuckled again.

"You remind me of Gally when he first came here. So untrusting of everyone." The man shook his head.

My chest tightened at his words.

"I'm nothing like him." I said weakly.

"Oh? Could Gally be the reason for your anger?" The man asked as he slowly walked closer to me.

I glared at him which made him laugh.

"Your name wouldn't be Emi would it?" He asked with a smile.

His smile grew as he saw the look of shock on my face.

"It is" he smiled as he stepped even closer to me.

"How did you know that?" I asked him.

He chuckled again.

"You're the girl who stole Gally's heart. He told me all about you Emi. About your life together in the maze. About you being torn from his arms as he laid there dying. What a tragic love story." He chuckled.

"He told you about me?" I asked softly feeling all the anger drain out of me.

"Oh yes, did you know Gally could draw?" He asked suddenly.

I looked at him in confusion from the sudden change of topic. I shook my head.

"Follow me," he said moving his finger towards himself.

I did as he said. He walked into the next room that had a desk in the corner. A large table was toward the middle of the room. He turned to the desk. I watched as he opened the top drawer then pulled out a folder.

"He hides them here for safekeeping." He said handing me the folder.

I took it then laid it on the desk. I opened it to find the most amazing landscape drawing I'd ever seen. It was the glade. It looked so real and beautiful. It was just like I remembered it when I had first gotten there. I put that drawing to the side to look at the next one. My breath caught in my throat. It was me. A perfect flawless drawing of me laughing. Every detail was spot on and perfect. The way my lips curled and my nose scrunched up. My eyes were closed in the midst of laughter. It was beautiful.

The next picture was also of me. This one I was only smiling. He had made it look as though the wind was blowing my hair. The drawing of me was looking straight at me with sparkling brown eyes. How did I not know he could do this?

"He told me he drew your face the most so he'd never forget it." The man next to me said softly.

I put the drawings back in the folder then closed it quickly. I hugged them tight to my chest as I turned to look at the man.

"Thank you" I sniffled.

He nodded then walked past me out of the room. He never forgot me. I quickly walked back into the room the man had gone back to.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked him once I stood in the middle of the room.

"Go ahead," he said as he looked down at his garden.

"Did Gally ever tell you how he feels about me?" I asked as I tightened my hold on the folder.

The man chuckled then turned to look at me.

"Only once. He said that no other woman would ever compare to you. You may have had a troubled ending but if he ever had the chance to see you again he'd make that moment count." The man smiled at me.

"Thank you" I whispered.

I stood there silently for a moment unsure of what to do.

“You look like you could use some time to think.” The man said softly.

I nodded.

“Behind me, these stairs will lead you to the roof. Take you a little breather.” He said pointing behind him.

I did as he said. I clutched the folder against my chest as I started to climb the stairs.

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