#brb still laughing
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"Deep inside, Wilson believes that if he cares enough, he'll never have to die."
What the fuck were the House writers on
#how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions#this quote is attempted murder#i cant live like this#This also puts the scene were Wilson tells House he wishes he was more of an asshole into perspective#âi wish i had been more a selfish jerkâ âyoud still have cancerâ âatleast id feel like i deserved itâ#because wilson spent his whole life helping people because some part of him genuinely believed that he would live a very long good life#as long as he was doing good and helping people#but in the end none of it mattered and in his mind he wasted his entire life being overly good when he couldve just lived how he wanted#because in the end it didnt make any difference#brb sobbing#thats why when people act like wilson is the devil for saying that to house i lose 5 years of my life#house md#house#greg house#james wilson#gregory house#hilson#hate crimes md#hatecrimes md#wilson#housemd
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Rewatching Nahida's birthday parade cutscene still makes me slightly emotional, I get misty just looking at the gorgeous artwork and then thinking about the AQ cutscene of Rukkhadevata's final farewell to Nahida and Sumeru hhdksjs :"D
Also, I suppose this sort of implies that Aranara can indeed reveal themselves to any adult human if they choose to do so (or at least when requested by the Dendro Archon) and that the ability to see Aranara has little to do with a person's innate traits. I assume Nahida using her Elemental Burst likely augmented the people of Sumeru's ability to perceive these dream-like "illusions" as reality as well, and that for the barest of moments, Dream and Reality were one and the same, existing within the same plane.
tfw my half-serious and brainless tweets sometimes turn out to be more accurate than I'd expected rofllll
#genshin impact#nahida#aranara#chromatic ode of candies and roses#sabzeruz festival#I LOVE SUMERU...........#tldr keysmashing with feels#brb still crying over how gorgeous this cutscene is#but also laughing at how my mind is a crystal ball sometimes lol#long post
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still thinking about how we ALMOST had daigo in a puffer again like not even the same one but a different depression puffer
#iw spoilers#no its not but whatever#snap chats#sorry still laughing at the idea of dressing as fisherman daigo for my Alleged fishing trip#remembered i alredy have overalls from when i went skiing .... brb hunting . ... not wearing the white demonias on a fishing boat tho ..#but like they were really gonna do that THEY MODELED IT AND EVERYTHING#the switch to the leather jacket was an EXCELLENT move but my god it wouldve been so funny#kiryu rolling up to the shack like âhows everyone doingâ#and immediately seeing daigo in A Puffer like âoh terribly then oops. anyways you guys wanna help meââ#so unserious ⌠anyway im hungry bye
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despair cancelled (for now), the ointment I picked up at the drug store is helping with the most annoying pain immensely đ
#brb crying with relief#i'm zinc ointment's number 1 fan fr!!!!!!!#gonna keep a tube of that stuff stocked in my personal medicine drawer from now on#really need it with how often my body keeps betraying me in this particular department#(still sucks that even the experts in that field always tell me i need to wait it out whenever there's a reoccurrence)#(at least drugstore zinc ointment works just as well as the overpriced stuff at the pharmacy)#(taking care of myself as best as i can without going to the doctors and getting berated for things i cannot help)#(not my first rodeo. also trying my best to not let it get as bad as the one time the pain sent me to the ER)#(where i got belittled and laughed about over my issues by several doctors and nurses after waiting to be seen for hours lol)#(they literally just told me to suck it up and take some ibuprofen. cool)#anyway sorry for the ramble it's still a sore subject#really sucks that my connective tissue is fucked in some way and i'l always have to deal with this issue for the rest of my life#because each reoccurrence makes the issue a little worse each time. coolio. go me.
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Day 4 of after reading Heartless and attempting to heal !!
Literal failure.
Jest and Cath donât leave my mind. Iâve been listening to playlist of sad love songs imagining Jest/Cath singing it to the other on repeat and I have NOT healed
Anyways, how have you been ?? And interesting books thatâs ruined YOU?? (If itâs a sad love story donât you DARE share, thatâs how Heartless started, an innocent, sad video about Jest and look at the FUCKING RABBIT HOLE I FELL DOWN 4 MONTHS AFTER SEEING THE FUCKING TIKTOK OF JEST AND ULTIMATELY LEARNING OF HEARTLESSâ EXISTENCE)
#I wish I didnât see that fucking TikTok#life would be better if I didnât know ab Heartless#Heartless#Marissa Meyer#SOS#DYING#Jest#cath x jest#catherine pinkerton#why does he dieeeeee#how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions#I knew he dies i still FUCKING CRIED#Sobbing and Weeping!#rip jest#brb gonna go cry#sad endings#iâm so done#killing myself!!#DONT READ HEARTLESS#itâs ruined me!!#frfr my fav book#đđŤś#<3#jest my poor babyyyyy<3333#IM SO SORRY#JUSTICE FOR CATHERINEđâźď¸âźď¸
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you know the moment in steven universe when steve is like dancing with gem him and theyâre laughing and they fuse back together and then later he sings âchange your mindâ? yeah okay so. that but kenji + him when he loses himself,,,
#brb crying#i love him so much#i was just playing the bsd game and it suddenly hit me and i am WEEPING#i havenât listened to that song in awhile but OOF it still gets me man#anyways kenji & his angry half⌠dancing like that⌠laughing⌠god iâm unwellâŚ#bsd#kenji miyazawa#corey talks:)#okay i realize this could also be in reference to dead apple when their abilities are separated from them and the way to defeat them is by#breaking their gems bUT i want this to be about kenji sooooo weâre gonna ignore that lol
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a daughter of urgathoa, a fey-god-elf, and a ratfolk walk into a bar in the shackles,
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FMK all past&present romances
Iâm going to do this as if he was choosing with hindsight, in the present. Also, heâs had non-platonic relationships that werenât exactly romances (Cassandra, Elene) but Iâm excluding those and any/all NPCs for the sake of simplicity.
F â Diana: Tbh, I think itâs been so long that he probably believes theyâre much better off as friends, but he cares about her too much to put her in the kill category, and he wouldnât wanna marry her in case they ended up hating each other, given what I suspect is a pretty significant personality clash. Mightâve been fun when they were bf/gf back in their twenties, but butting heads over everything is a sure recipe to ruin a marriage, and heâd never want that for either of them. So a roll in the hay itâd be.
M â Lyudmila: I think sometimes he gets nostalgic about her, because this was one of the few âromancesâ heâs had that didnât end because of incompatibility or souring, but rather they were just in different places in their lives at the time. Metaphorically, and literally. He was studying med overseas, Mila was pursuing her own dreams, so they ended things before the relationship could sustain the stress that would have broken it down more painfully in the long run. I think with amicable break-ups, sometimes itâs easier to be nostalgic about what-ifs. Ever the sentimentalist, I think Gideon would be prone to these. @milaxkorshunova
What if they hadnât broken up?... Would he have saved her from her fatherâs control? Would she have saved him from a disastrous marriage to Katherine? Would they be happy, or at least happier than they are nowadays in the present?... Heâll never know.
K â Katherine: This is dark, and as deeply as he resents her, Gideon would never consciously wish her dead because at the end of the day, sheâs the mother of his child. But Iâm sure in some of his worst moments â where heâs felt most despondent about not being able to see Felix or raise him properly â it would cross his mind.
Honestly, I think he loved her on a level deeper than every other woman on this or previous lists... But sometimes, thatâs exactly the sort of sentiment that can twist into the deepest hatred when itâs corrupted.
#brb laughing @ 'present' romances#Anon#askgideon#G x Mila#G x Katherine#G x Diana#Relationships#TY to whoever asked#if still in the group lmao#It takes a lot to know a man. || Headcanons#q#s.
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he is being put into fucking scenarios
one more one more
same au thing as last time
#gravity falls#billford#babby how is your art so good and so wonderful and so perfect#why is it you torture me with good comics that make me laugh yaaaay lalala#the way you draw mabel makes me happy always#she hates his stupid ass#she wants this mother fucker EVISCERATED#like an APE#TO SHREDS WITH YE !!!!!#still sso fucking crazy and him just turning to stone and clattering on the ground#his fucking signal that he is inside your uncle#you walk into the living room & it's like he's just put a big ass fuck sign in the middle of the room#saying âBRB turning your uncles butthole into something unspeakable <3â#ford doing painful experiments to bill cipher my beloved#gf nevermind all that
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got some bloodwork and an ecg done today and accidentally scared the shit out of the nurse taking the ecg đđ
#she was SO concerned and took it three times JWJSJWJW#its bcos of my high pulse (i have pots) but its not on my chart yet bcos im still waiting for a specialist#but she even called 911 on my ass like she asked me a few panicked questions and then went 'ill brb'#and then on the other side of the caARDBOARD sectioner i heard her talking to emts wkwkw who calmed her down bcos of my history w pots she#told them about#we laughed abt it when she came back in and i got to tell her a little bit abt what pots is sksjs#nohr.txt
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Your embarrassment at whatever it is makes it all the more intriguing to your knight, my dear lady. I wonât push, but just know that I am ever so curious about it.
Drumming-wise most of the songs my bandmates made me learn were 1990s rock? At least I think so, I only picked one or two songs to learn and that was Six Trillion Years and Overnight Story, and something else I canât quite remember. It was after all, a while ago now.
Your knight has had exactly one very poor kissing experience. Let us leave it at the idea of it being so bad I started crying from embarrassment.
Ahh, how cool ! Six Trillion Years and Overnight Story is soo good.. I can only imagine how it must sound to hear it played irl on drums,,
Goodness, I can only imagine how terrible it must have been :[ You have my sympathy and compassion, my beloved âĄ
#âł the fool's mail box#âł sender; ivette#I suppose there's.. not exactly any harm in admitting it ? worst case those reading this laugh at me a little. erm#well. i technically have absolutely 0 experience with kissing. however i am one of those people who used to (and still does. this is the#part all of you are to forget immediately after reading) kiss their stuffed animals and pillows ? god that's embarrassing to admit. brb#walking into the sea ^_^ /j . uh#so.. i'm.. not exactly clueless or anything... but uhhhhhhhhhhh#definitely no real experience fufufu. c o guh#but um. uuuuum. yeah. that's really it lmfao ^^'#again everybun forget the brackets. ooooo forget forget forget. or don't just like. don't perceive me any different đ¤¨
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Title: Guinevere Rating: Explicit (18+, MDNI) Chapter: 2/X Word Count: 9.9K (oops) Tags/Warnings: Lucas Grey x female reader. Eugene Cobb x female reader. No use of Y/N. Explicit content (18+, MDNI). Smut. Romance. Angst. Infidelity. Jealousy. Pining. No happy ending. Age-Gap (ages never stated but reader is implied to be much younger than both Cobb and Grey, who are in their 50s). Spoiler Title. Slow Burn (Grey/Reader). A/N: Slow burn is the fucking worst, I regret everything. All these delicious Grey/Reader scenes but will we ever get to them?? Not in this lifetime apparently. But we're off to New York - got some cameos from other Hitman characters in this chapter & a teeeensy bit more smut. The next chapter will be a Grey POV :) (But I also want to finish my Olivia Hall fic so we'll see what comes first.) Not cross posting the whole chapter here - I'm trying to not have community labels on literally everything I post.
AO3: (X)
"Guinevere grew grey in the grey shadow All things losing who at all things grasped."  - J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fall of Arthur
#lucas grey#lucas grey x reader#lucas grey imagine#hitman#hitman fanfiction#eugene cobb#eugene cobb x reader#that ship tag still makes me laugh#but brb regretting all my life choices#fic: guinevere
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The devil and The Star!
the devil:Â do you enjoy thunderstorms?
I LOVE thunderstorms! If I had to pick one type of weather to have for the rest of my life, it would be thunderstorms. âď¸âĄ
the star:Â have you ever seen a psychic?
Yes. One time my mom and I were at a summer festival and my mom is super into psychics and new age stuff and she desperately wanted to see this psychic who was set up in a tent on the midway. So we went and she was SO excited by her own reading that she was like "will you get a reading if I pay for you?" because I refused to drop money on it myself so I said sure, why the hell not. Anyway, the psychic told me that I'd be married to a man, have two kids, and be a surgeon by the time I was 30. I have now passed that marker and am instead in a LTR with a woman, have ZERO desire to ever have any kids, and am not and will never be a surgeon lmao. Gold star for effort for her, though. đđ
tarot asks
#jules answers#kittycat-cas#thank you for the ask lovely!!!#brb still laughing my ass off about the psychic
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GOJO SATORU: ââ THE CUTEST COUPLE ON THE INTERNET! ââ
.ŕłŕż streamer!au: what happens when you flirt with one of his many rivals?
contents: fem!reader. playful jealousy, it's nothin' serious. toji flirts with you <3 chat continues to make fun of satoru + fortnite slander. pretty short but uh... anyways.
author's note: live laugh love streamer!gojo
"c'mon, satoru," suguru drawls, smiling at your boyfriend through the screen. "how'd you get eliminated so fast? you must've set a world record," he teases, poking fun at the way satoru completely bombed the last round.
you snicker from your spot on satoru's bed, and he turns and sticks his tongue out at you. satoru had convinced you to come over just a couple minutes ago, and any hope you had of doing your homework in peace flew out the window the moment he went live.Â
"shut up," satoru huffs, turning back to his monitor and scrunching up his nose at suguru. the two are close enough for them to banter and insult each other without any fear of resentment. suguru laughs in response, velvety voice resulting in a burst of heart emojis from the comments.
"well, i gotta go," suguru sighs, leaning back in his dark, plush chair. he smiles and waves with a reminder of when his next stream will be before signing off.Â
satoru spins around in his chair a couple times and scrunches up his face at the screen. "why are you guys still here?" he asks, ruffling his hair and raising an eyebrow. "y'wanna see my girlfriend again or something?"
the chat explodes with a flurry of yes's, so satoru swivels his chair around and looks straight at you. he looks at you expectantly, opening his arms and beckoning you. "c'mere, sweetheart," he says, voice singsongy and light.
"you're so annoying," you mumble, rolling over and hopping off his bed.
"and i'm all yours," satoru replies immediately, shooting you a cheeky smile.Â
whenever you call him annoying or stupid or a clueless idiot, satoru responds the same way every time. and both of you know that you certainly can't do much better than your sweetheart of a boyfriend, even if he is the brattiest boy you know.
you run your fingers through your hair and walk over to him, resting your chin on his shoulder and waving at his camera. "hey guys," you say with a smile. satoru turns to his head to kiss your cheek affectionately, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you closer.
as you lean into satoru's embrace, you scan the comments. most of them are either hi's and hello's, but a select few make you laugh.
yuuji-itadori: they make me feel so single :(Â
inumaki: brb im about to violently throw up
toji-fushiguro: she can do so much better tbh
satoru scoffs at the last two comments, jutting his chin out and glaring at the screen. "why are you two still here?" he huffs, pointing at the camera and narrowing his eyes. the hand on your waist tightens as satoru pulls you into his lap. "inumaki, don't you have a fortnite round to lose? and you, toji, i'm this close to blocking you from my streams!" he grumbles.Â
the chat explodes with various expressions of laughter, and you can't help but giggle at the responses satoru's jibes get.
inumaki: kys
inumaki: whats wrong with playing fortnite??? most fire game ever fym
toji-fushiguro: im not here for u loser
satoru mimicks inumaki with a high-pitched voice and goes on a minute-long tangent of why fortnite is the one of the shittiest games ever, and eventually inuaki chooses to retreat with a last snarky comment before he disappears. then, your riled-up boyfriend turns on toji.
"if you're not here for me, who could you possibly be here for?" satoru snorts, resting his chin on the top of your head. his hands intertwine as he wraps his arms around you snugly, securing you on his lap.
the next message from toji catches you and satoru off-guard, but your reactions are entirely different. you laugh and smile bashfully, while satoru nearly knocks you off of him when he yells "what?!"
toji-fushiguro: i'm here for your pretty gf duh
before satoru can fire a thousand insults toji's way, you reach up and clasp your hand over his mouth. your boyfriend's eyes widen in the reflection of his monitor, and you have to suppress the urge to ruffle his hair and kiss him stupid. sure, you'll probably make out with him after the stream, but you think that it'd be even more fun to mess with him first.
"aw, you think i'm pretty?" you ask playfully, directing your words at toji. "i've seen you around," you muse, twirling a strand of hair around your finger with the hand not covering satoru's mouth. you smile coyly at the screen before continuing, "you're not so bad yourself, honestly."
satoru whines incredulously against your hand, and you can't suppress the laugh that slips past your lips. he bounces his foot on the floor impatiently, and eventually he reaches around you and quickly presses a couple buttons to end the stream. "baby, i love you but sometimes you drive me crazy," he grumbles, hoisting you over his shoulder as he stands up.Â
"let me go!"
"okay!" he replies, dropping you on his bed with a cheeky smile. satoru's eyes narrow as he watches you scramble to sit up, and you puff up your cheeks indignantly. satoru plops down next to you and pulls you into his chest, face barely an inch away from yours.
"what was that?!" satoru whines, glaring at you sullenly. he tugs at the bottom of your shirt and juts out his bottom lip in an exaggerated pout. Â
"satoru, are you jealous?" you snicker, leaning in and kissing his nose. he scrunches his face up and frowns, but the corners of his mouth seem to tilt upwards. satoru pulls you into a kiss and holds you there for a second, smiling against your lips.Â
"no," satoru huffs, rolling his eyes. "i'm hotter than him, and i'm not a total asshole." he wraps his arms around your waist and nudges your cheek with his nose, clear blue eyes focused on your lips.Â
"true," you agree, wrapping your arms around his neck and melting into his embrace. satoru really is the best boyfriend you could ask forâeverything about the two of you just works.
satoru pinches you gently and kisses your nose. "say that you love me."
you smile and close your eyes, suddenly more relaxed than you've been in the last couple days. "of course i love you, dummy."
"love you more, cheateâ ow, i'm kidding, i'm kidding!"
#osaemu#streamer!gojo#gojo x reader#satoru gojo x reader#jjk x reader#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x y/n#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo fluff#jjk fluff#satoru gojo fluff#gojo satoru fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#gojo drabbles#jjk drabbles
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⤡ actor!rafayel:
was the first guy you really clicked with after the chemistry read when you were both cast. he matched your energy and made you laugh SO much, all while keeping you comfortable enough to act out all your lines together. from there, you and the casting directors just knew he was going to be the perfect rafayel.
is the main one playing pranks on the entire cast and crew, followed by caleb and luke & kieran. one time, he got you a small present box and wrote on a sticky note â4 the cutest;)â next to it. you smiled and opened it thinking it was probably a necklace or some accessory of some sort. instead, that.. thing â was a tiny realistic looking rat toy. shrieking his name so loud it almost echoed throughout the entire set, you toss aside the box in panic. and slightly yet jokingly on the verge of tears, you vowed that you would get him back for that as the rest of the cast burst into laughter when they heard your wails from your open trailer.
flirty af with you on blooper reels & winks with this grin, at the camera whenever any of you mess up a line that comes out inappropriately instead.
your blooper reels are hilarious. one time, you messed up a line after closing the door, so you had to step outside and reopen it to start over again. but just as you stepped outside and reached for the handle, rafayel darted over and locked it. you called out his name in disbelief, and the whole filming set burst out laughing. in fact, the name you called the most on set was his.
this guy literally fake trips over, every now and then and stays that way dramatically. ârafayelââ you say like a tired parent as you walk over to get him, hoping heâs not actually dead like he acts.
on twitter (x) & instagram, he follows the hashtag of the ship name for you and him and likes edits of (you) both.
heâs literally so outgoing, funny and charismatic with fans and remembers each of them he sees irl. he often goes live on instagram and is the most interactive and talkative with them as well. âno way you made that edit? ohmygod please send that to meâ. yes, the fanpage sent the non watermark version edit to him and he followed them so fast in return. the edits still saved on his phone to this day.
is 100% best friends with all the guys but it is so obvious that he is locked iinnn with xavier and caleb.
during a 'generated questions' interview game starring you, rafayel and thomas, one of the questions he got asked was who his celebrity crush was. locking eyes with you, he said your name with a small smile. (brb writing and posting a quick drabble on this)
was actually a big help in composing & finalizing the soundtracks for misty invasion & wander in wonder. and ofc his (favorites): omnipotent perception & gem affection.
he actually loves cats and that ginger cat in that one scene was actually his. thatâs why the cat licked his finger because he knows his owner. yes heâs a cat and dog guy.
noticeably gazes at you every chance he gets, yet somehow everrryooone else but you seem to notice.
⤡ actor!sylus:
everytime you think you can finally beat him in a staring competition, you get reminded and humbled on why you couldnât. and you swore the last time you did, that his gaze flickered down to your lips. âmm no youâre seeing things.â
teasing af in lots of (unreleased) bloopers with you like thereâs no tomorrow. and unlike rafayel, instead of pranking you, he actually jumpscares you the most instead.
and in most of the bloopers, itâs so evident that all the guys he acts certain scenes with, fight off the urges to make out with him after he winked at them whenever they forgot their lines because of him. he places second to rafayel for who winks or flirts the most & at the camera.
every woman on that set has had a dream about this man. one would think tara would be interested in xavier since sheâs around you both a lot more and her character kind of is a fangirl for xavier. yeah no, this girl is head over heels in love with sylus instead.
is also every straight manâs crush, obviously surpassing ryan reynolds. heâs younger and a biker cmon.
is so good with every kid who comes across his path. one time after shooting, he carried two of the main directorâs little kids. one was sitting on his shoulders and the other one wrapped around his leg after he took them out to get anything they wanted. yes he spent his paycheck on them. also on you too cause he gets you stufff. he got everyone else things too except rafayel that day, only because he heard he scared you earlier. he actually secretly fist bumped rafayel and did get him something, bc he would have done the same.
thirst tweets made about him are INSANE. when reading them on interviews hosted by buzzfeed celeb, he often flirts with the fans. âwhy donât you come find outâ he winked once as a reply to a certain tweet. the tweet was someone wondering about something about him in the bedroom. his favorite one was when someone said they canât wait for him to be a dilf.
the both of you completely improvised that scene where your characters fancily dressed up to find out the location of the aether core. yes the âhave fun đłâ and âdonât bother me with such trivial mattersâ and âyour offer will make people think im broke, wouldnât want that sweetieâ lines. this scene displays your skyrocketing chemistry and friendship soooo baddd. and it took only one take too was the crazy thing.
adjusts your hair whenever it looks out of place when filming. one time he reached out, eyes meeting yours. âmay i?â and with your approving nod, he gently smoothened a stray strand. his fingers lingered for a moment before pulling back, a small smile on his lips as he caught you still looking up at him. technically, that was the only time you won an unofficial staring competition between you because he shyly ended up looking away first, but of course he wouldnât tell you that.
⤡ actor!zayne:
was the first guy you had a mini crush on. because literally the first time you made him smile, it felt like the only true and final accomplishment of your life.
has a doberman he kinda grew up with and brings on set after filming from time to time.
actually has a distaste for carrots irl. caleb being the little silly head he was, gifted him semi-huge carrot plushies as part of his birthday gift to him.
the pool table scene above actually became both of your favorites because filming it was so memorable. the screenwriters had intentionally and separately asked the two of you to choose which one of their next written scenes youâd love to film together. and although you and him wouldnât have minded any of them, you still chose. you both didnât know the other would match each otherâs freak by choosing this said scene. soon you knew and that you loved one another even more that day. now, when it came to acting it out⌠that was another story.
the first take of where he gently grabbed you by the waist, pulling you on top of him on the pool table, and on top of that smirking up at you was all too much for you. all you could do was breathlessly giggle uncontrollably while covering your face due to the fact that your entire body and face grew hot, because you were so flushed by being that close to him.
now, it was your turn to be laying on the pool table after he switched positions. the way you watched as he grabbed the cue stick and leaned down over you as he told you to âwatch closelyâ, had him chuckling and apologizing instead. âsorry, sorryâ he waved a hand in front of his face apologetically, looking away from you yet still failing to hide the blush creeping onto his face. and when he had the courage to look back at you, âhiâ was simply what he said with a sheepish grin making you and the filming crew still laugh through the 8th retake of that scene. if only you knew your eyes were his weakness.
during your travel to film in snowcrest / the artic, the amount of snowball fights you two had was insane. then after. you made lots of snowmen and snow angels. and in order for you not to get cold he got you lots of hot chocolate and helped warm your hands up with his whenever you were cold. like one time, when the main director was telling you both what he wanted from you in the scenes, he had a feeling that your hands could be cold so he interlocked his fingers with yours as the director spoke.
he is the thoughtful parent friend to be honest and also quite the gift giving male friend because he buys you (as well as the other co-stars) lots of things. you would think he was a doctor the way he took care of you guys.
you and the fans favorite blooper reel was when him and sylus were talking using a helium balloon. either that or when you both kissed on his birthday scene and he said he was the luckiest guy in the world.
of the four and their bromance, rafayel & xavier are clear boyfriends while zayne and sylus are husbands.
one time, he posted a pic with sylus and you openly commented âzaddiesâ making everyone quake, especially the fact he not only pinned it, but responded âhi babyâ.
⤡ actor!xavier:
eeveryone calls and knows xavier is your shadow.
seriously. because this guy is always seen together with you. thereâs rarely moments heâs not around you really⌠on and off set. paparazzis left and right almost always see you two together, and that of course sparked rumors on whether or not you two had a thing or have a thing going on.
it didnât help that on instagram at first, he only used to follow 2 social media accounts. yours and loveanddeepspace. some fans and blogs speculated that it may be because he was dating you. others doubted that though because it was clear that the other guys probably genuinely liked you as well and there was no way you were dating any of them because they were your co-stars in this show since you wouldnât risk breaking up while acting. all of that whole thing made both of you publicly come out to clear up all the dating rumors. yet nobody except your crews and co-stars, fully believe you two in particular for some reason.
speaking of co-stars, you and xavier are victims to rafayelâs and calebâs pranks. but whenever they get you specifically, he plots something with sylus and zayne to get back at them for you.
out of all of you, this man curses the most when forgetting his lines â caleb is a close second. âshit âm sorry.â has gotta be his go-to. couple of 'fucks' and 'dammits' here and there are also present in his vocab. also, he does this thing whenever he messes up where he covers the upper half of his face with one hand in embarrassment as giggles emit from the two of you. *laughing with you and the crew during a failed take*: âi swear itâs way harder than it looks â pretending to half awake and remembering what to say at the same time...crazyâ
you surprisingly sleep on set more than he does and itâs always in xavierâs charactersâ bedroom too. have you seen the room they gave this guyâs character? insanely comfortable. after filming for the day, and you fall asleep on that bed, and whenever xavier hears you waking up, heâs always there purposely in your face and ready to play around by saying âwe just had another mini pizza party you just missedâ making you tiredly smile and lightly smack him with a pillow.
the two of you have a lot dancing moments together. either just dancing for fun, to ease off tension or just waltzing. on the blooper reel for his birthday scene, when you were both warming up by waltzing together, you jokingly asked him âhow come i donât see these moves in the bedroom?â he let go of you as he looked at you in utter mock disbelief âgirl ââ causing you to let out bashful laughs at him.
xavier with all his fangirls though ? the cutest ever. numerous tiktoks and tweets repost pictures with each fan girls because he literally looks like their boyfriend with how he takes pics with them. like this guy makes it worth it to meet him. they usually gift him a lot of cute things and he hugs them. and it doesnât help that his hugs are so comforting bye. he is literally a whole charming prince too and the perfect guy to have a celebrity crush on.
below are some comments youâd see on those ship posts of you and xavier:
xavierslullaby: OHMYGOD THE WAY HE WAS LOOKING AT HER WHAT starfishylover021: bro the way he kissed her cheek wtfff that shld be meeee sylustruewife: guys i need this man or a beer rn or im gonna be sick
or * shared posts with fangirls:
loveanddeebussy: AYO WHO TF ARE THESE RANDOM WOMEN NEXT TO MY BABY DADDY. ⤡ theweekndsexygf replied to loveanddeebussy: girl..sorry to break it to you but thatâs my husband. ⤡ erensfeed replied to theweekndsexygf: ummLMFAO im coming to you both as a woman...
extras your honors: rafayel & sylus playfully pick on you often, zayne & xavier protect you from them. they all smell so good. are actually great chefs. and are obviously all crushing on you.
â also guys lemme know if you want more or with caleb bc a girl has ideas and couldnât fit them all in here.
update: .Ëđ {part 2}
Š2024 ERENSFEED. all rights reserved.
#love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#sylus#sylus love and deepspace#lads sylus#lads rafayel#lnds#love and deepspace actor au#zayne love and deepspace#xavier love and deepspace#lads zayne#lads xavier#lads actor au#love and deepspace x reader#lads x reader#sylus x reader#zayne x reader#rafayel x reader#xavier x reader#erensfeed
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âSHEâS A MANEATER!â â đŠđđŤđ đđĄđŤđđ.Â
LOSER!ELLIE ďž MEAN!READER
âOH-OH HERE SHE COMES WATCH OUT, GIRL, SHEâLL CHEW YOU UP!â
á°.á âSUMMARYâďšAfter bumping into you on her first day of college, Ellie spends the entire year captivated by you from a distance. You're everything she could never beâpopular, wealthy, and effortlessly alluring, with a perfect, disgustingly rich family to match. Convinced she didnât stand a chance, Ellie resigns herself to watching from the sidelines. But when her best friend Dina suggests they work at a public pool for the summer, Ellie agrees, hoping to save up some money. What she never expected was to find you there, commanding the space with a magnetic, dangerous charm that pulls her in. Now, Ellieâs summer is about to take a turn she never saw coming, and sheâs about to find out just how close she can get to you before it all falls apart.
âś.á âTHIS CHAPTER CONTAINSâďš approx 10k words⨞ cursing⨞ angst⨞ cheating⨞ reader being a bitch for no reason⨞ 18+ CONTENT (porn with plot)⨞ fingering (đ!receiving)⨞ cum eating??⨞ pussy slapping ⨞ thigh riding (r!receiving)⨞ reader is a milf lover⨞ coworker!ellie⨞ dom!reader⨞ fem!reader⨞ player!reader x loser!ellie⨞ jealousy issues⨞ use of names (babygirl, sweetheart, baby, babe, slut/whore, etc...)⨞ lmk if i missed anything!
.á.á âAUTHOR´S NOTEâďš last chapter of part one, finally!! I will start working on the sequel soon (hopefully), I PROMISE there's gonna be a happy ending + an extra drabble/chapterđ. proofread by @sapphichotmess!!
#.á âTAGLISTâďš@pick-me-up-im-scared @rew1nds @satellitespinner @boobdrug @ivying @elliewilliamsbelovedwife @mina-281 @hysteriawillnotsuccumb @chxrryvalxntine @bookpagecandlescent @fionaapplelover2010 @andersonslove @macaroni676 @elliesbabygirl @vampcubus @visupremacysstuff @elssaphica @kaykeryyy @nenas19 @rxreaqia @fatbootymuncher @dying-brb @euphoric-rush @intothespidersweb @d1psht
#.á âCHAPTERSâ âŻ
ËËË đ¨đ§đ â đđ°đ¨ â đĽđđŁđđ ËËË
palestine masterpost â read this â daily clicks
31st of August.
Ellie desperately tried to stay away from you, avoiding you like the plague, but her efforts never lasted long. You were too radiant to ignore, too mesmerizing not to be near, and too addictive to avoid speaking to. She was drawn back to you, just like every time she tried to walk away. It wasnât just a simple matter of having her wrapped around your finger; she was completely captivated by you in body, mind, and soul. You had a hold on her in a way that felt like possessing a voodoo doll made of her hair and personal trinkets. She was as dependent on you as a flower is on water and the moon is on the sun, although the sun never relied on the moon to shine.
The redhead observed you as you conversed with a local customer at the pool, a middle-aged single mother with sleek black hair and icy blue eyes, the reincarnation of Megan Foxâexcept that Megan Fox was still alive. Her piercing gaze might have intimidated others, but not you. Instead, you smiled warmly and laughed softly as she spoke, your widest smile on full display each time she said something amusing.
Ellie didnât think too much of it; after all, you were always overly sweet and nice to clients, everyone but her and the people who worked with youâor for you. She didnât think too much of it until that woman scribbled something down on a napkin from the box on the counter, right beside her elbow, that comfortably rested on the black marble. The woman handed it to you, and the smile she gave you after was less polite. Was this shit even allowed in here?
Ellie wanted to come at you, yell, and fuss at you about it, but she held back. She knew you would brush her off and act like you werenât knuckles deep inside her sopping hole last night and like she hadnât been chanting your name like you were the fucking holy Mary herself. Youâd treat her like you usually did in public: like you despised her, so she avoided that.
She stood by the deck, Jesse at her side, both enveloped in a serene silence. Unbeknownst to her, his deep chocolate eyes had been studying her attentively. His gaze followed hers, fixing on you, who appeared to be flirting with a woman twice your age.
Ever since Ellie started working here, she had been behaving strangely, a fact that didnât escape Dinaâs notice. Despite Dinaâs efforts to point it out, Jesse claimed he couldnât quite see what she was talking about. The brunette strongly believed that her best friend was keeping something from them, acting mysteriously and evasively about her whereabouts. Ellie always seemed busy whenever they wanted to hang out, and she would never fully explain where she was or what she was up to.
Jesse nonchalantly dismissed the situation, attributing Ellieâs behavior to her quirks. There was some truth to his commentâEllie often guarded her feelings like an ancient mummy, whatever she was going through. Yet, as he observed the jealousy creeping over her face like an ominous shadow, her previously soft features hardening, he knew. Her airy scoff confirmed his suspicions, prompting him to address the issue directly, not treading lightly around the matter.
âIs it her that youâre seeing?â the Asian asked abruptly, his words filled with pure curiosity. He spoke in a hushed tone, making sure their conversation remained private. Ellieâs heart sank at his direct question, causing her to freeze as her face lost whatever color it had, turning even paler than usual.Â
Her first thought was, âIs he going to tell Dina?â and then, âDinaâs gonna kill me,â though the latter was a common affirmation that popped into her mind whenever she messed up somehow. Dina often acted like an overprotective mother every second of the day, always quick to scold and lecture her. Not even Maria did that, and she was the closest thing she had to a mother figure.
As her mind raced with uncertainty, Jesse quickly interjected, seeking to soothe her fears with a reassuring tone, âNot gonna tell anyone, yâknow.â he said, his voice soft but resolute, sensing her internal conflict.
She exhaled shakily and murmured a quiet, âYes.â Her eyes darted away from his, finding solace in the chaotic beauty of the pool filled with kids and families. âBut she doesnât want anyone to know,â she added quickly, her gaze dropping to her lap as she chewed on the inside of her cheek.
âDid she tell you why?â
âSheâs not ready, sheâs not even out yet,â the anxious girl explained with a huff, reluctantly meeting his eyes again. She could already feel his judgment, knew heâd think she was being naive, and that she should end things before it got worse.
âIs she serious about it?â he couldnât help but retort, a hint of disbelief in his voice. Heâd just seen you flirting with another woman moments ago, the memory fresh and irritating.
âItâs... weâre just hooking up,â Ellie revealed, her voice barely above a whisper.
âSo itâs not.â
âNo, itâs just too early to say. She said she needs time toââ Jesseâs sarcastic scoff cut her off. She gave him a puzzled look, her brows arching in confusion. âWhat?â
âYouâre not that fucking dumb, are you?â he rhetorically asked, his voice quiet and scolding, careful to keep their conversation private.
âWhatâIâm not being stupid. She needs time. We talked about it last nightâI canât force her to come out when she doesnât feel ready. Itâs not fair to her.â Ellieâs tone grew defensive, a shield against his skepticism. But she knew he was right. This whole hookup thing wasnât something she even wanted.Â
âYeah. How long has she been telling you she needs time?â Jesse shot back quickly, his words like arrows, ready to prove his point.
Ellie stayed quiet for a moment, the weight of his question hanging heavy between them. ââS not like that,â she finally mumbled.
âWhat is it like then?â he challenged, not missing a beat. âLookâyou do you, man. If youâre happy, Iâm happy and all that shit. But she doesnât exactly have a good reputation. Sheâs gonna break your heart,â he stated with a frustrating certainty.
âYou donât know that,â she snapped back, her voice laced with desperation.
âNeither do you.â A sarcastic chuckle from her friend broke the tension between them. âI really hope you donât get hurt in the end,â he concluded, getting up and casually strolling away after a few kids who werenât wearing their swimming caps, his trustworthy whistle in his hand.
Ellie watched him walk away, a rush of conflicting emotions flooding through her. Anger and doubt churned within her as she turned her gaze back to the pool, the cheerful laughter of the children now fading into the background. Lost in her thoughts, she was startled when you sat down on the white plastic chair beside her. âHey, Nelly,â you said, your tone cool and composed, maintaining your mean-girl facade, especially in the presence of others. Your mask remained firmly in place, a deliberate refusal to show vulnerability. Despite your determination to be different from your parents, who prioritized outward appearances, you couldnât help but feel like you were following in their footsteps. The apple did not fall too far from the tree.
âHey,â Ellie greeted, her usually buoyant tone noticeably absent.
You turned to look at her, your eyebrow raising in a perfect arc as you gazed at her inquisitively. âWhatâs with the attitude?â
The autumn-haired girl found herself unable to shake off Jesseâs words. They reverberated through her mind, planting seeds of doubt and uncertainty. She desperately wished Jesse had misjudged you; he didnât know you like she did. How could he possibly pass judgment without truly knowing you? Yet, a rational part of her refused to be silenced, urging her to pay heed to those nagging doubts and not to confuse overthinking with intuition.
Ellieâs words slipped out before she could stop herself, her tone accusatory and colder than she intended. âWhatâs with that woman who just gave you her number?â
You looked back at her in surprise, and your lips formed an âohâ before you quickly offered a plausible excuse. âBabysitting.â
âBabysitting?â she asked, raising an eyebrow as she locked eyes with you, her expression oozing with skepticism. âSince when do you even babysit?â
âItâs always been something Iâve done,â you replied, unfazed by her doubt.
âSure, like you really need the extra cash,â she quipped, still skeptical.
âI really do. I canât keep relying on my parents for everything,â you calmly asserted. There was no hint of defensiveness in your voice; you spoke with a sense of certainty, that it made her feel stupid for questioning your commitment, but she didnât let it show.Â
âOkay,â she sighed out, her shoulders slumping as she exhaled, feeling the weight lift off her shoulders.
âAre you coming to the beach tonight? Thereâs going to be a campfire and free drinks,â you asked, propping your elbows on the arms of the plastic chair as you leaned back, smirking in her direction.
âYeah, gonna see you there?â the freckled girl inquired with a touch of optimism reflected in her expression. The sun beamed down on her, highlighting her green eyes, making them appear even more vibrant and clear.
âOf course, youâre going to see me there.â your smile grew wider as you replied.
And she did see you there, locked in a passionate kiss with some nameless guy on a bench.Â
Ellieâs heart splintered into thousands of fragments. It felt as if her insides plunged deeper than the Titanic, the weight of her emotions pressing them down. Despite the overwhelming urge to scream and cry, she found herself unable to produce any sound. Her eyes remained dry, failing to well up with the salty tears that typically accompanied emotional pain. The sea wind tousled her auburn hair, leaving a faint, familiar saltiness behind. Her skin was ablaze, and her stomach churned with disgust, threatening to expel its contents.Â
Everyone had warned her about you, and they had been right all along.
You didnât give a damn, you never did. Were any of the sweet words you whispered to her even true? Was she just one of many? Ellieâs mind was a whirlwind of endless questions, most of them rooted in self-doubt. She wasnât good enough for you, sheâd never been. She was never going to measure up to your standards, to your expectations. She was never enough. You were flawless, admired, it only made sense that someone like you would never genuinely desire someone like her. Why would you? She wasnât attractive, wealthy, or widely liked. She was just an unremarkable, tangled mess of poor humor and peculiarities. You, however, were a living Greek god, cruelly playing with her mind, and shamelessly taking more and more of her, each time she gave you everything she had to offer.
It felt as if Cupid himself had conspired against her, allowing her to experience and savor something that would never belong to her. Unbeknownst to her, even something as lovely as a lily, one of the most exquisite blossoms, could conceal danger beneath its pink velvety petals. She was like a curious cat, irresistibly drawn to the intrigue and allure of the forbidden flower, unaware of its poisonous nature.
3rd of September.
The following days were plagued with ignored phone calls and messages left on read. Ellie had given you the cold shoulder; her silent treatment was supposed to be a form of punishment, but it didnât last long.Â
You explained everything, saying it was a misunderstanding, revealing that the guy named Jason had kissed you without your consent and that you had forcefully pushed him away. Ellie left hastily, missing the part where you had angrily stormed off after rejecting his advances.Â
The auburnette felt a wave of reassurance, knowing that she was the only one for you, that your eyes were solely for her. She trusted you wholeheartedly.
And you were back in her life, in her house, in her bed, between her thighs.Â
Your spit drenched her aching core, cascading over her engorged clit, the pink throbbing bud begging for your attention. The sight of her slick, swollen folds will never stop driving you crazy. Put on display for your eyes only, as sweet as the ripest fruit. Her pussy quivered beneath your gaze, and a sharp slap to her wet cunt echoed through the room, making her whimper, her hips stuttering and jerking, eyes flashing open to meet yours. âLook at this pussy⌠so fucking messy, baby,â you purred, a wicked grin curling at the corners of your lips. The look in your eyes was one of an insatiable beast, ready to take away from her once again.
âStop fuckinâ teasing me,â Ellie whined, her hips bucking frantically against the warm palm nestled on her throbbing core. Her breath hitched as your thumb danced with her arousal, teasing her sensitive clit. âCanât take it anymore,â she choked out. Desperation began to etch itself into her captivating features as her fluffy, scarred brows contracted together. This subtle expression only seemed to heighten her already striking appearance, adding a sense of vulnerability that made your head spin.Â
âHm... Quit acting like a brat and hold still for me,â you spat, your gaze locked onto hers, âBeg for it, and I might just give it to you.â
Ellieâs heart hammered in her chest at your authoritative tone, her body responding instinctively to your dominance. A shiver coursed through her spine, and a flush of heat spread across her cheeks. She bit her lip, trying to hold still and control the urge to squirm under your touch, her breathing growing shallow with anticipation and need.
Her voice cracked as she begged, âPlease.â One of her hands reached out, desperate to grab your free hand. But the freckled girlâs weak pleas met deaf ears; it wasnât enough for you, she could do better. Her moss-green eyes pleaded with you as she watched your thumb trace small circles on her hip, keeping her in place.
Your lips brushed against the sensitive flesh of her inner thighs, teasing her mercilessly, your touch intentionally calculated to drive her wild. You knew exactly how to play your cards right, how to play her like a finely tuned instrument, and it amused you how easy it was to reduce her to a quivering, whiny mess. But you relished in her simplicity, in how the smallest actions could ignite such a strong reaction from her.
âPlease,â Ellieâs breaths came in small, shuddered gasps, her chest rising and falling rapidly with each inhale and exhale. Her mind was filled with nothing but you and how you made her feel. âPlease, please, I missed you.â Her wordsâ raspy, vulnerable tone was like music to your ears, pleasing your ego at the knowledge that she depended on you, that she was putty in your hands. Her vulnerability only highlighted how completely she was under your control, and the feeling was flattering and exhilarating. The auburnette submitted to you so easily, without questioning it or fighting back; it was cute, really. She let you play with her body however, whenever, and wherever you liked.
âMissed me, yeah?â You smirked at her, your voice dripping with confidence as you cooed softly.Â
Ellie didnât even need to confirm it to you. You could see how much she had missed you, how much she had craved your touch and sweet lies. The freckled girl melted in your arms the second you drove to her house after hours of begging to see you. She needed to see you, needed to feel you, kiss you, touch you. Her heart skipped a beat as her gaze met yours, your eagerness for her evident in every line and muscle of your body. She felt wanted, desired, and important whenever she was in your presence, and the feeling was addictive. Perhaps that was what she loved the most about being with youâthe feeling of being so completely desired, so utterly needed. She found herself questioning if anyone had ever made her feel this way before. Certainly not her ex-girlfriends (or situationships); they paled in comparison to how you made her feel. You had the ability to make her feel like a teenager in love for the first time again, like a virgin exploring uncharted territory.
âCouldnât get off without your help,â Ellieâs voice was soft and vulnerable as she confessed her weakness for you, the pout on her face almost making your heart lurch. Â
âSuch a fucking needy slut,â You chuckled dryly, your eyes focused intently on her, drinking in her every reaction as if she was the most fascinating thing youâd ever seen. She was sprawled out before you, all spread out and vulnerable, her core glistening with arousal and your spit, begging for your touch, yet not giving her what she craved the most.
âPlease, I need you.â She pleaded one last time, her voice soft and desperate, her body trembling as your thumb began to tease her aching bud. A stifled moan escaped her lips as the pleasure washed over her, causing her to gasp in response.Â
âYou all good up there?â You taunted her, struggling to contain a small chuckle at her frustration. Her freckled face was flushed, her cheeks tinted with a blush that betrayed her embarrassment. You had barely even touched her, and yet she was already losing her shit, her body responding eagerly to your every caress.Â
âYeah, justâŚâ The auburnetteâs throat bobbed as she swallowed, trying with all her might to hold back the lewd noises that threatened to escape.Â
âJust?â you prompted, your fingers continuing to move over her sensitive folds, feeling her slickness. You began to rub at her entrance, making her squirm and moan; she had been craving your touch and attention so much that it almost made her insane. âFuck, look at you, baby girl.â you husked under your breath. âSo needy for me.â It was downright lewd how drenched Ellie was for you, her pink pussy glistened with pearly precum, making your mouth water at the sight. It was like homemade chocolate chip cookies, the kind that could make anyone salivate, especially when they were still warm and the aroma of sweetness filled the air. She had the same exact effect on you. She tasted exquisite, and you just couldn't get enough, always craving more of her, just like she craved more of you.
Ellieâs breath hitched as your middle finger teased her entrance, moving painfully slow. She could tell you were doing it on purpose. You were never known for your patience, but you were taking your sweet time with her, making her feel every little movement. The sensations were overwhelming, and she knew you were doing it intentionally to drive her crazy. âM-more⌠nghh⌠fuck.â Her back arched in response, her hand gripping yours tightly as she desperately tried to push her hips further down onto your fingers.
Your eyes were glued to her starved cunt and the way your finger disappeared into her so easily, swallowing it shamelessly; her warm walls pulsated around your digit, and tiny, little puffs of breath escaped her lips as she struggled to hold herself together. Every breath she took strained with the effort to keep herself composed, her face a beautiful contradiction of desire and restraint.Â
âYou werenât lying, huh? You really did miss me.â You chuckled, amused, the circles on her clit growing faster as your finger moved slowly in and out of her, maintaining a steady, teasing rhythm.Â
âI wasnât,â Ellie said breathlessly, as if a powerful force had drained all the breath away from her.Â
You smirked at her confirmation; she depended on you as much as you depended on every little sound she let out for you, urging you to go on. It was what replayed in your head whenever you finger-fucked your own needy hole, clenching her name around your fingers. You had missed her so much. You missed the feeling of her cunt spasming around your fingers, the high-pitched and persistent mewls that came with her impending orgasm, the arch of her back, her abdomen tensing and contracting whenever you fucked her way too fast for her to keep up.
âWhat about the nudes I sent you, hm?â you questioned, your voice as soft as cotton, caressing all her senses like some melody that haunted her every dream.
Her breaths came in shallow gasps, each one a plea, a prayer for more. The sight of the freckled girlâso vulnerable, so openâstirred something primal within you. You watched how her body responded to your touch, how her skin flushed and her muscles tensed under your fingertips. The slick heat of her, the way she pulsated around your finger, was intoxicating.Â
Ellie remembered the late nights, alone in her bed, your photos lighting up her screen. The way sheâd trace the curves of your body with her eyes, imagining her hands in their place. The way sheâd whisper your name, a litany of desire, as she plunged her fingers into her own wet heat, pretending it was you. But even then, it wasnât enough.Â
Those fantasies paled in comparison to reality.Â
âFucking slut⌠did you touch yourself thinking of me?â you murmured, your voice a low purr that sent shivers down her spine. âDid you imagine my fingers inside you, like this?â
Her response was a choked moan, her hips rocking against your hand, seeking more. You pressed a kiss to her thigh, your breath hot against her skin, savoring the way she writhed under your touch.Â
She gasped as you added another finger, complying with her silent request for more. âNeeded m- ahhh⌠more thanââ words failed her as you began to pump them in and out of her faster, her legs twitching each time you brushed that spongy spot inside her just to make her little brain go blank. What a brainless fucking whore.
âThan what? Finish your sentence, sweetheart. What do you need from me?â Your voice was a perfect and deadly mix of sultriness and honey sweetness.
âNeeded you to fuck me,â Ellieâs voice turned whiny and high-pitched, sounding like she was about to cry. She sighed complacently when you slammed your fingers deeper inside her in response. She had truly been trying to get off to your pictures, your tits out of your black lacy bra for her to see, but it wasnât enough. All she could think about was the aching absence of your touch and how desperately she longed to lay her dirty hands on your sacred body. It hit her then that she was utterly ruined, unable to get off without your assistance anymore; you had thoroughly spoiled her and her body, and her mind had been reprogrammed to crave you for every desire, however big or small.Â
âLike this, yeah?â A frenetic nod was all you got in return. Your glistening fingers continued their relentless movements, and your thumb flicked her puffy clit.
Each pump drew a curse from her. Her breaths were shallow gasps punctuated by moans that seemed to come from the depths of her soul. You could feel her inner walls contracting around your fingers, her slick heat enveloping you in a way that made your own core ache.Â
âFuck⌠close?â Her response was a breathless sob, freckled body arching off the bed as her orgasm built, a storm gathering strength. You could see it in the way her muscles tensed, the way her breaths came faster, more erratic.
âPlease,â she begged, barely more than a breathy whisper. âPlease, I needââ
âI know, baby. I know.â Your thumb circled her clit with a newfound intensity, your fingers curling inside her just right, hitting her g-spot with precision. âCome for me.â
The auburnetteâs eyelids fluttered shut and her head fell back into the soft embrace of her light blue pillow. You marveled at the expression of blissful ecstasy dancing across her face, watching her lips form incoherent words that echoed through the room. With a final, shuddering cry, she came apart, her body shaking with the force of her orgasm. Her inner walls pulsed around your fingers, her juices coating your hand as you worked her through it, drawing out every last bit of pleasure, making every moment last longer, leaving her wholly spent and utterly satiated.
When all her nectar coated your fingers, you gently withdrew your digits, eager to taste her. The taste was rather divine, like nothing you had ever tasted, a taste uniquely hers. Something you couldnât quite find anywhere else. âYou taste delicious,â you commented with a sly smile.
Ellie was winded and her face glistening with a sheen of sweat, dilated pupils fixing on yours as she tried to catch breath, her parted lips letting puffs of air in and out, unevenly. âDo I?â
âHmm-hmm,â you hummed, crawling on top of her and settling into her lap. She lazily wrapped her arms around your waist, her damp, freckled back sticking against the headboard as she sat up slightly. The soft sheets rustled beneath you, adding to the momentâs intimacy.
Your eyes locked, an intense connection sparking between you. Ellieâs gaze seemed to drown in your irises, captivated by every little sparkle, every shade and discolored spot. A stupidly soft smile spread across her face, as if she were staring at the most precious thing in her life. The room seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you in this shared bubble of affection.
âYouâre so pretty, yâknow that?â Her voice was like a gentle whisper, with a hint of raspiness as she delicately tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear. Her touch sent a shiver down your spine.
You hummed at her words, a playful smirk curling your lips. âYeah, I get that quite a lot.â
The auburnette scoffed in mock disbelief, her brows arching dramatically. âOh really? Who dared to compliment my girl, hm?â Feigning jealousy, she pulled you closer by your waist. âGonna have to beat them up,â she muttered sarcastically under her breath, her tone light and teasing.
You couldnât help but giggle softly, the sound mingling with the momentâs warmth. Ellieâs playful protectiveness only made your heart swell more, and you leaned in, your foreheads touching.Â
She pulled you flush against her, your bare chest sticking to hers, the sweat covering her body almost acting as a glue binding you together. Her face nestled into the crook of your neck, deeply inhaling your scent as she closed her eyes, leaving a trail of soft kisses along your skin.
âHmm⌠whatâre you doing?â you whispered, melting into her touch.
âTryna make you feel goodâcanât I make my favorite girl feel good?â Her voice was a hushed murmur against your neck, a blend of warmth and affection. A small, breathy laugh was all you could manage in response, tilting your head slightly to give her better access. Her hands wandered up and down your sides, leaving a tingling path in their wake.
âYou sure your dad wonât be home anytime soon?â you asked, a hint of nervousness lacing your voice as you tried to pull away. Each time you leaned back, sheâd draw you closer, unwilling to let go.
âHe wonât be until tomorrow,â she muttered between the kisses she peppered along your neck, âRelax and let me take care of you.â Her lips slowly trailed up your jaw, finally capturing yours in a sweet, lingering kiss, pouring all her feelings into it. Her hands pulled you close with a hunger that spoke of a desire to absorb you, to make you a part of her very being.
Your eyes fluttered shut, arms wrapping around her neck as you lost yourselves in the kiss.
One of your hands found its way to her little bun, fingers playing and gently tugging at it. The kiss was slow and tender, a stark contrast to the usual fervor you shared. It felt as if the world around you had shifted, the atmosphere turning more intimate, echoing the same familiar yet foreign sensation that had enveloped you that afternoon in the shower.
A moan reverberated against the freckled girlâs lips, resonating like a tender symphony, compelling her to savor its melody, to capture it and make it her own. Yet, an insatiable yearning gnawed at her core, craving something deeper, something beyond the mere physical.
When you parted, breathless and hearts pounding in synchrony, the connection between your gazes transformed the moment into an eternal tableau.Â
âWill you let me take control this time?â Ellie mumbled, her voice soft as silk, her words a delicate caress that brushed against your senses like the first light of dawn. A smile played on her perfect, heart-shaped lips, a subtle curve that promised both mischief and tenderness.
âHey, itâs not my fault youâre a pillow princess,â you teased, a smirk tugging at your mouth, the playful jab rolling off your tongue with ease.
Ellieâs eyes sparkled with amusement, softly gasping as if youâd just said the most outrageous thing. "I am not!" she protested, her jaw dropping in a show of mock indignation, though the laughter in her eyes gave her away.
âAre so,â you shot back, not missing a beat.
She shook her head, a pout forming as she defended herself, her voice laced with a mix of defiance and a touch of longing. âYou never let me take control,â she countered, eyebrows arching as she tried to make her point.
âAs if youâve ever tried,â you quipped, your smirk widening, knowing exactly how to push her buttons.
âI did try, you just never let me,â she insisted, her tone soft yet pointed, like she was stating an undeniable truth. âYou always push me down and do whatever,â she added, her words tinged with just the right amount of accusation.
âMaybe you didnât try hard enough,â you challenged, the playful edge in your voice unmistakable as the banter continued to flow between you, each word filled with barely contained desire.
Her brows shot up, eyes gleaming with the thrill of the challenge. âOh, is that so?â Ellie smirked, accepting the unspoken dare. Without missing a beat, she shifted you onto her thigh, her hands firm but gentle as she guided you, ensuring that her thigh was perfectly placed between your own.
âIs that it? You want me to ride your thigh?â you chuckled, a playful glint in your eyes as the absurdity of the situation hit you, making you bite back a laugh.
âCâmon, cowgirl, show me your moves,â she teased, her tone lighthearted, yet there was an undeniable heat beneath her words. Her hands guided your hips, encouraging you to move against her, the friction deliciously teasing, her comical words pulling a soft laugh from you.
âCowgirl?â you echoed, amusement threading through your voice as your hands found their place on her shoulders for balance. Slowly, you began to move, a back-and-forth rhythm building, her toned thigh pressing against your most sensitive spot.
âWell, I donât have a strap yet, soâŚâ the redhead offered with a playful shrug, her nonchalance almost comical in its delivery.
âYet?â you repeated, your eyebrow arching as curiosity piqued, the simple word holding a world of possibilities.
âMhm, yet,â she confirmed with a sly smile, her hands tightening on your hip bones, pressing you down onto her thigh with just the right amount of pressure. The heat of her skin against your wetness sent a shiver up your spine, her own breath hitching at the intimate contact.Â
Thatâs why she never took controlâbecause, as much as she wanted to, you made her weak in the knees, her heart race, and her breath catch in her throat.Â
As you rocked against her, a muffled whimper escaped your lips, a sound she drank in like the sweetest melody, and for a moment, the room was filled with nothing but your breathless sighs, your shared laughter, and the electric tension between you, growing hotter with every passing second.
âDoes it feel good, yeah?â Ellie whispered, her face so close to yours that your breaths mingled, a shared warmth in the small space between you.
âYeah, you feel good,â you murmured back, her green eyes utterly captivated by the rhythm of your hips as they rolled against her. You didnât need her to guide you, every movement was instinctual, as natural as breathing. Her breath caught in her throat, almost as if she were the one trying to get off on your thigh, mesmerized by the glistening trail you left behind.Â
âFuck, look at that,â she breathed out, her voice thick with awe and desire.
Immaculate mewls spilled from your lips as her hands tightened on your hips, urging you to move faster, her fingers digging into your skin like she never wanted to let you go. âJust like that⌠atta girl,â the red-brown-haired girl encouraged, her words a soothing balm that only stoked the fire burning in your belly.
You leaned into her, your breasts pressing against her chest, your face nuzzling into the crook of her neck, seeking her out like a lifeline. Ellie responded in kind, her lips finding the beauty marks on your shoulders, kissing them as if tracing an invisible constellation only she could see. Your breathy moans, warm and desperate, hit the back of her neck, sending shivers cascading down her spine, weakening her resolve with each shaky exhale.
âYou feel so good,â you purred in her ear, your voice sweet yet intoxicating, like honey laced with something dangerous. Your breath tickled that sensitive spot behind her ear, goosebumps erupting on her skin as butterflies danced wildly in her stomach. Feeling your heat seep into her, feeling you so close, so alive against herâshe knew sheâd never get enough of you.
âSo does your pussy... all wet for me,â she rasped out, pulling you even closer, as if trying to merge your bodies into one. Your ragged breathing was like music to her ears, each pant and whimper a testament to how perfectly she was taking care of you. You continued to grind against her thigh, the tension in your lower abdomen coiling tighter with each roll of your hips, your clit moving in a maddening rhythm that made you whimper against her freckled skin.
âFuckâŚâ you breathed out, the word slipping from your lips like a prayer. âAll wet for you,â you echoed absentmindedly, the urgency in your movements growing, driven by the mounting pressure, each second pulling you closer to the edge. Your fingers tangled in her red hair, tightening as your eyes fluttered shut, your breaths growing more erratic.Â
Watching you ride her like this was the hottest thing Ellie had ever seen. It made her pulse quicken and her thoughts spiral into fantasiesâfantasies of you riding her strap instead, making you tremble like a leaf, scream her name in ecstasy. She wondered if your sinful moans and cries would haunt her dreams every night; it seemed like a plausible fate.
âMine⌠alllll mine,â she murmured in your ear, her hands tracing your sides with a tenderness that belied the intensity of the moment, holding you as if you were something precious and fragile, something that could shatter at any moment.Â
Your soft gasps were like a tantalizing torture, making her sage-hued eyes roll back in bliss. You were so addictive, and she was like an addict, desperate for every sound, every breath you gave her. âHmm, yeah,â you whispered breathlessly back, your voice mindless yet so full of emotion, causing her heart to flip and twist in ways she never thought possible.
Ellie gently cupped your chin, turning your face toward hers, never once stopping the hypnotic roll of your hips. Her thumb pressed lightly against your chin, holding you there, your eyes locked onto hers, sharing a silent conversation only the two of you could understand.
âGod, youâre so fucking beautiful,â she husked, her words like a spell, and you were powerless against them. Your gaze fell to her lips, mesmerized by the way they formed each tender word. She leaned in, kissing you softly but with a passion that ignited every nerve in your body. It was strange and new, yet it felt like something that was always meant to happen.Â
Her freckled arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer, and your arms looped around her neck, holding her as if letting go would mean losing everything. Your hips never stopped moving, the rhythm growing more frantic, your ragged breaths mingling, creating an orchestral piece of pure, unfiltered desire.
And then, the tension inside you snapped, sending shockwaves through your body. It was an explosion, not just of pleasure, but of everything Ellie had tried to keep buried, every emotion you had stirred up in her. You pulled away from the kiss, gasping for air, both from the intensity of your climax and the kiss that had stolen your breath away. Your damp foreheads pressed together, her eyes boring into yours, one of her hands trailing over your body, touching you with a familiarity that sent shivers down your spine.
âFuck, EllieâŚâ Your voice cracked and trembled, a raw, visceral expression of the overwhelming pleasure that had just consumed you.
âI love you.â Three words, so simple and yet so difficult to say out loud. Ellie hadnât realized sheâd let them slip out until your movements halted, a look of confusion veiling your face.Â
The sound of heavy breathingâthe aftereffects of your activityâfilled the room. You were still trying to recover, your body still trembling with euphoria, and the words had become lost in the maelstrom of the intense orgasm. Ellieâs heart felt like a wild animal, a gazelle on the plains of the Serengeti, drumming relentlessly against her ribcage as she waited for your response, anxiously anticipating what you would say next, the tension in the air thick like the humidity in a dense rainforest.
âWhat?â You asked the question in a meek, quiet voice, your breathing harsh and labored. It was as if life had drained from your face, leaving only a shell of shock and disbelief behind.Â
There was absolute silence in the air, everything frozen in that moment. Ellie couldnât even hear her heartbeat; it felt like time had come to a standstill. Everything seemed to move either unbearably slowly or excruciatingly fast, leaving her overwhelmed and out of control.
âUh⌠Iââ Ellieâs words stumbled and stuck in her throat as she tried to repeat the three simple words again. She could feel a palpable shift in the air around you, a barrier going up between you despite your physical closeness.Â
For a brief moment, vulnerability flickered across your face, your eyes bare and exposed to her gaze, as though you had let your guard down and allowed her to see through you. But the mask quickly returned, your features hardening once more. You slowly withdrew from her thigh, sitting beside her instead, exhaling deeply, a look of disbelief etched on your face. The cinnamon-haired girl watched as your lips parted and your eyelids fluttered shut, knowing that you were trying to make sense of her confession and formulate a response. She held her breath, hoping you would tell her that you felt the same, that you longed for a serious relationship and were ready to take that next step together. But the words that slipped out of your mouth were the opposite of what she was expecting, leaving her heart sinking in her chest.
âI canât.â Your head shook slightly, a nonverbal ânoâ that sent a shiver down Ellieâs spine. Her heart plummeted, as though it had leaped off the edge of a towering cliff only to smash into a million pieces upon impact. Her eyes widened in disbelief, and the air was knocked from her lungs as the reality of your rejection sank in.Â
âCanât what?â Her voice sounded hoarse and strained as she somehow managed to speak, her forest-green eyes clouded with the beginnings of tears as she fixated on your bare back, watching with trepidation as you quickly and almost frantically dressed, one piece of clothing after another being pulled on.
Your body momentarily froze as you searched your mind for the right words, an explanation to fill the terrible silence. But you came up empty, your mind consumed by a rising panic, numbing your thoughts and leaving you speechless. You spoke in a cold, sharp voice, your back still turned towards her, âDo this.â The air between you was heavy with tension and despair, your emotional state written clearly on your face, even if she couldn't see it directly.
âWha- I... butâŚâ Ellie struggled to articulate her thoughts, her mind grappling with conflicting emotions and confusion. Each attempt to form a coherent question or sentence ended in a frustrating tangle of words. The powerful connection that had enveloped her just moments before had vanished, leaving her bewildered and lost in its absence. How was a shift like that possible? Did you not feel it too?
âI donât understand,â Her voice quivered and cracked as she forced the words out, her body rigid and her muscles tense as she fought to keep the tears at bay. She knew she couldnât show any vulnerability in front of you, couldnât let you see how much this was hurting her. Maybe it was just fear getting in the way, maybe there was still a chance for her to sway your decision by talking it out, to make you change your mind. The freckled girl couldnât shake the feeling that she was trapped in a surreal nightmare, as if none of this was real. She had just bared her soul to you, trusted you with her innermost thoughts and feelingsâthings she had never shared with anyone elseâand now she was consumed by a sense of violation, as if she had exposed too much of herself and in doing so, made herself vulnerable and annoying. She felt disgusted with herself, like she had crossed a line and done something wrong, leaving an acrid taste in her mouth.
âIt canât work,â Your voice was calm, detached, and filled with distance. The redhead watched as you pulled on your shirt, your gaze fixed on the wall of her room, where wrinkled space posters hung. Your composure was icy and uncaring, as if you had been waiting impatiently for the right moment to destroy the fragile bubble of illusion she had constructed with your lies.Â
Her eyes roamed your face, searching desperately for a trace of the affection she had felt before, but all she saw was an emotionless mask. Her mind whirled, trying to make sense of the abrupt shift in your demeanor. Every ounce of her being longed to reach out and pull you back, to force you to see what you were throwing away. But she was paralyzed, rooted in place by the weight of your words. She had bared her soul to you, and now she was left exposed, raw, and broken.
The silence in the room thickened, growing heavy and oppressive like a massive storm cloud preparing to let loose. It was a stifling stillness, pressing down on both of you, forcing the air from your lungs and leaving each breath shallow, each word unspoken, lost in the thick atmosphere. Ellieâs forest-green, glassy eyes flicked to you, a desperate pleading in her gaze, like a sailor stranded at sea hoping to spot a flicker of a distant lighthouse, a guide through the dark waters of her impeding breakdown. But your gaze remained distant, fixed on a horizon only you could see, your movements deliberate, devoid of the tenderness that once made her believe in the magic between you.
ââŚWhy?â Her voice was delicate and fragile, barely audible above a whisper. It trembled like a leaf in the wind, âWhy canât it work? Weâre so good together. I thoughtââ
âOh, please.â The venom in your voice lashed out, sharp and biting, each word dripping with contempt. âDonât act like you donât know. This was never supposed to be anything serious. You should have known better.â The words left your lips with a hollow ring, the warmth that the auburnette once craved in your voice now frozen over, an icy detachment that chilled her to the bone.
Tears gathered and spilled over in her eyes, creating a blurry haze that distorted the world around her and your form. The room seemed to whirl before her as her heart crumbled under the burden of your apathy. She struggled to comprehend how you could be so careless. âBut-â Her voice faltered, a delicate whisper that fractured under the pressure of the painful reality she found herself grappling with. You had ensnared her like a tarantula, trapping her in an intricate web of deceit and manipulation from which there seemed to be no escape.
You sighed, the sound heavy with impatience, rolling your eyes as if the sound of her heart breaking was nothing more than an inconvenience. âGod, Ellie, do you really not get it? It was just sex. Fun while it lasted, but nothing more. I canât believe you got so attached.â Your words were sharp like swords, each one slicing through the fragile, translucent dreams she had so painstakingly woven around you, leaving deep, bleeding gashes in the delicate fabric of her hopes and illusions. She had been so stupid. âJust a summer fling, an experiment,â You added casually, your tone flat and uncaring.
Ellieâs heart crumbled further, the sharp edges of your words cutting deeper than she ever thought possible. Each syllable felt like salt combined with the strongest alcohol ever on an open wound, the reality of your apathy sinking in. âYou donât mean that,â She pleaded with you, her words carrying the weight of desperate hope, as if grasping onto a rope that could keep her from drowning in the harsh reality. âWe were so good together. I felt it. I know you did, too.â
Your lips curled into a sneer, a cruel twist that mocked her naivety. âYou really are naive, arenât you? There was never anything between us, Ellie. I was just bored, and you were convenient,â you scoffed, the derision in your voice felt like a kick in her stomach, the emotional pain becoming physical. âAnd easy, you were so easy⌠and so fucking gullible.â The smirk that followed was a bitter slash across her soul, a cruel reminder of how carelessly you had toyed with her emotions. Of how carelessly you had toyed with plenty of people before her. This was a mere game to you, and you couldnât give two fucks of all the broken pieces you always left behind.Â
How could someone so incredibly beautiful and captivating exude such emptiness within?Â
Salty tears streamed down her freckled cheeks, her chest tightening with a tumultuous mix of heartbreak and disbelief. The weight of your betrayal felt like a ton of bricks, crushing the hope she had clung to so desperately. You had never been any different from what the others claimed. âBut I love you,â she repeated, her voice cracking under the strain of her agony. âDoes that mean anything to you?â
You laughed, a sound lacking any warmth or joy, more like the cold echo of a cavernous emptiness inside you. âHonestly? No, it doesnât. Did you think this was going to turn into some grand romance? Come on, grow up.â It shocked the auburnette how you could effortlessly shift from being warm and kind to completely cold and unsympathetic. It was like watching you switch personalities as easily as changing costumes in a theater, all to your convenience. Adapting and shapeshifting to your liking. âLove doesnât exist. Itâs just a fairytale for people who canât handle reality.â
Ellie shook her head as if trying to shake off the unfiltered reality you were laying before her, throwing at her in such a callous manner that it left her breathless. Tears cascaded down like a relentless downpour, drenching the delicate, freckled canvas of her flushed cheeks. She held on desperately to the fading remnants of what she believed to be true, âIâI thought we had something real,â She was barely whispering, her voice fragile and on the verge of completely breaking down. Her bottom lip quivered, and that pouty expression on her face tugged at your heartstrings, making it hard to go through with this. But you knew it was something you had to do. It was necessary.
âYou thought wrong,â you said with a dismissive wave of your hand, as if casting aside a trivial matter. âAnd if you had any sense, youâd have figured that out by now. Get real. I never promised you anything beyond what we had.â
Ellie stood up, her legs trembling as she tried to steady herself against the emotional hurricane tearing through her. âI trusted you. I opened up to you. And now youâre just discarding me like Iâm nothing?â
You nonchalantly lifted your shoulders in a dismissive gesture, causing her stomach to clench as if the bond you once shared was now as inconsequential as a discarded piece of trash carried away by the wind. âI didnât ask you to fall for me.â
She stared at you, her eyes desperately searching yours for any trace of the person she thought she had come to understand, but you werenât there. âI thought you were different.â
âWell, Iâm not. I never claimed to be something Iâm not.â Your heartrending words landed the critical strike, causing her to lock away her pain deep within. It festered there, leaving behind deep, ugly scars. She wondered if she would ever be able to heal from the emotional wounds you inflicted. Not even when she broke up with her ex-girlfriend, Cat, did she feel this way.Â
âYou know what?â Ellieâs voice quivered with raw emotion, yet remained steadfast and resolute. The ache in her heart was gradually being consumed by a smoldering, intense anger, âYouâre right. I should have seen this coming. But donât you dare pretend like you didnât play a part in this. You let me believe something that wasnât real.â Her voice quivered with emotion, the barely contained anger struggling to hold back the flood of tears that threatened to engulf her beautiful moss-colored eyes once more. âYou said you needed time, that eventually, youâd feel ready toâŚâ She halted mid-sentence, realization sinking in. The promises she had once clung to, the words you had whispered in sweet moments of closeness and intimacy, all of it was nothing but a frail illusion you had woven around her to shield her from the bitter and ugly truth. You had never been genuine, always sidestepping, always evading her attempts at sincere connection.
âI never said that,â you stated in a chilly, detached manner, completely lacking any trace of the warmth typically associated with the girl she was infatuated with. It seemed absurd to her. After all, it was still you, but you were revealing your true self. This was the same true self that everyone had cautioned her about, the central figure in all the rumors she had heard. They werenât falsehoods. They were all painfully real. It was a shame that she was only realizing this now, after falling for your ass.
âDonât you dare pull that shit on me,â The auburnette growled, her finger pointed at you in an accusatory manner, and she struggled to mask the hurt that was tearing her apart piece by piece.
You averted your gaze, unwilling to meet her eyes any longer; you knew that her words held the truth. You had led her on, selfishly used her to fulfill your own needs and desires, without a care in the world for the trauma and pain youâd leave in her. But deep down, beneath the cold facade you maintained, you couldnât deny that this moment was tearing you apart as well. Even though you tried to fool yourself, to convince yourself that you didnât care about her at all, you knew in your heart that it was a lie. You couldnât ignore the sharp pang of guilt and regret that tugged at your chest like a persistent child pleading for attention. Your heart clamored for acknowledgment, drowning out the rational thoughts, urging you to stay and face the situation rather than retreat like a coward. It swore that things would be different this time, that she could be trusted. But you couldnât bring yourself to believe it.
âWhatever. Iâm done here.â You walked to the door, pausing for a fleeting moment. Turning back to her, your eyes seemed empty. Your voice sounded almost mechanical, having become accustomed to this repetitive cycle, trapped in an endless loop. You found someone new, they became attached, and just as you started to feel something, you would withdraw. âDonât call me. Donât text me. Weâre done here.â
Ellieâs breath caught in her throat as your words sank in. The tears the auburnette had been holding back spilled over, but she forced herself to stand tall, her voice trembling as she struggled to keep herself composed. âTrust me, I wonât. I donât ever want to see you again,â she promised, trying to sound firm and unaffected, but both of you knew it was far from the truth. She longed to run after you, to plead for you to stay, to not leave her, but she refused to give you the satisfaction of seeing her vulnerable and in desperate need of you. You had already seen enough of her; she had already made herself look like a fool yet that didnât stop you from stomping on her fragile heart.
âGood.â
And with that, you were gone, leaving behind only the ghost of what could have been, and the shattered pieces of her heart, leaving her alone with the echo of her own heartbreak. The door clicked shut behind you, the sound reverberating through the silence.
Ellie collapsed onto the bed, clutching a fluffy pillow to her chest, tears cascading down her face. The room seemed to chill, the absence of your presence amplifying the feeling of loneliness. She buried her face in the softness of the pillow, her tears leaving damp patches on the fabric. It was as if a part of her had been forcibly wrenched away, leaving a raw, throbbing emptiness that felt impossible to soothe. She clutched at her chest, the emotional anguish translating into a physical ache. Breathing became a struggle as her chest tightened, making it hard to draw in a full breath.
Hours passed in a haze of anguish and despair, her tears eventually tapering off, leaving her feeling empty and exhausted. She lay there, fixating on the stars plastered on her ceiling. The weight of your absence felt like the entire solar system had collapsed upon her, crushing her under the immensity of her grief and sorrow. She was pinned down, each star on her ceiling twinkling mercilessly, mocking her pain with their cheap radiant light.
She reached for her phone, her fingers quivering with a mixture of longing and pain as she typed out a message she knew she could never send: âI miss you already.â
Each keystroke felt like a betrayal of her own heart, an act of masochism as the words coalesced on the screen. The message lingered on the screen, an undelivered declaration of heartbreak, a painful confession trapped within the confines of a glowing screen.
She loathed herself for her own weakness, her own vulnerability towards you. She desperately craved a person who didnât have the slightest care in the world for her, someone who could so easily discard her without a second thought. She could almost hear Dinaâs voice in her head, scolding her for being so fucking stupid and naive, telling her to get her shit together and forget about you altogetherâmaybe after suggesting to burn your whole house down. But her heart ached with a yearning that couldnât be so easily dismissed, leaving her feeling lost, pathetic, and wholly powerless. She knew deep down that if you came back sheâd be welcoming you with open arms, like none of this had happened.
The words etched on the screen seemed to sneer at her, a cruel reminder of her impotence. She couldnât change your mind and most importantly⌠she couldnât change you.Â
With a trembling hand, she erased the message, then tossed the phone aside, curling up into a tight ball on the bed. Exhaustion eventually took over, pulling her into a restless sleep. But even in her dreams, she was haunted by you, a phantom pain that followed her even in the realm of sleep, leaving her tormented and unable to truly escape reality.
The next morning, the sun beamed through the blinds, slicing through the room like a laser, bright and unforgiving. Ellie dragged herself upright in bed, feeling the weight of exhaustion bearing down on her like a heavy blanket. Every part of her felt burdened, as if the weariness had seeped into her bones, settling there as a constant reminder of the emptiness that had taken root in her heart. You had completely destroyed her and she wished she could bring herself to hate you for it, but she couldnât; no matter how hard she tried.
She moved slowly, each action a deliberate fight against the numbness that threatened to overtake her. Getting dressed felt like going through the motions of a life she no longer recognized. The world outside her window seemed darker, as if the sun itself had dimmed in response to her loss. She knew she had to keep going, force herself to take one step, then another, even though every movement felt like trudging through thick, unforgiving mud.
She knew she had to erase you from her mind, from every little corner where you had once lived. The freckled girl stopped showing up to work, leaving Dina to be the one to tell you she was quitting. It was childish, she knew that, but the idea of facing you, of seeing you, was too much to bear. She knew that if she saw you, she would crumble, her resolve breaking as she begged you to come back, to love her back the way she had believed you once did. Beg you to let her hold you, in her arms, where you belonged. But you didnât belong to herâif you had, you wouldnât have left.
Each day that passed by, the redhead was left alone to wrestle with her heartache, a silent and insidious companion that had latched onto her like a parasite, feasting on the very essence of her being. It gnawed at her soul, leeching away her energy and joy, wrapping its cold, inky tendrils around her heart, holding her in an unbreakable ever present embrace of sorrow and despair.Â
Her friends noticed the shift in her, the way her laughter had disappeared, replaced by a hollow silence. She seemed distant, as if she was there in body but absent in spirit, a ghost of the girl she used to be.Â
No one knew what was going on inside her mind, no one except Jesse. He had seen the signs, had heard the unspoken words in her silence, but he kept it to himself, pretending not to know what had caused the light in her eyes to fade. Even when Dina couldnât stop worrying about Ellie, but Jesse held his tongue, protecting the secret of her heartbreak. It was up to Ellie to talk about it to her friendsâif she ever wanted to; he was certain that she eventually would, she just needed time.
Even Joel noticed the change in his daughter, the way she no longer found joy in the little things that used to make her smile. The eggs and bacon he made her in the mornings went untouched, her chair at the table often empty. She no longer filled the house with her endless chatter, no longer picked on him for his dad jokes. Instead, she withdrew into herself, isolating in her room or disappearing for hours at a time, leaving him to wonder where she was, who she was with. He had tried to find out, but all his searching had led to dead ends. His sweet girl had become a stranger, slipping away from him, slowly.
Summer, once Ellieâs favorite season, had become a cruel reminder of what she had lost. The warm breeze that used to fill her with a sense of freedom now felt like a mockery, a reminder of the momentary happiness that had slipped through her fingers like grains of sand. She wasnât sure sheâd ever be able to love summer again, not when it was tainted with memories of you. She wasnât sure if sheâd ever get over what happened, the way you had reduced her to nothing while your life carried on, untouched by what you left behind.
She didnât dare message you. She wasnât that stupid. Pride held her back, even though the urge to reach out burned like an ember inside her, refusing to die out. You had told her not to, and she had promised she wouldnât. And so, she kept her distance, even though a part of her hoped you would break the silence. But you never did, and neither did she.
Instead, Ellie focused on erasing every trace of you from her life. She gathered everything that reminded her of you, every small item that held a piece of your memory, and stuffed them into a box. She couldnât bring herself to throw it away, but she needed them out of sight, out of reach. They were relics of a past she needed to forget.
The auburnette collapsed onto her bed, pulling her sketchbook into her lap. The pages felt heavy in her hands, filled with drawings that now only brought her pain. With a deep breath, she began tearing them out, each rip a cathartic release of the anger that had been building up like a lego tower right beneath her apathetic surface. Sketches of you, peaceful in sleep, your face lit with a smile or lost in thought, fell around her like leaves in autumn, each one a reminder of how deeply she had loved you. How deeply she had fooled herself.
Ellieâs hands paused as she reached the last page. There, among the sketches of you, was a drawing she hadnât made. It was of her asleep, her features soft and unguarded. She recognized your handwriting at the bottom of the page, the words you had scrawled there while she was sleeping in her bed, unaware of your restless state that night.
âYouâre such a creep. But a cute one. :P P.S. your snoring sounds like a horde of angry, sleep-deprived dinos.â
The storm of anger that had driven her to tear apart her sketchbook faded, replaced by a wave of sadness so intense it took her breath away. Her fingers traced the lines of the drawing, the tenderness in each stroke, the way you had captured her as you saw her, not as she saw herself. You have made her beautiful. You had seen something in her that she had never seen in herself. Her vision blurred as tears welled up, spilling onto the page, dampening the paper. She hadnât even realized she was crying until a sob broke free, wracking her body with the force of her grief.
She slammed the sketchbook shut, tossing it aside as if it could rid her of the memories that clung to her like thorns. Her hands flew to her face, muffling the cries that echoed in her chest, the screams she was too broken to release. She buried her face in her palms, her body shaking with the effort of holding herself together, even as everything inside her was falling apart.
Ellie wished she would never cross paths with you again, the one who had so cruelly ripped her heart apart with the precision of a surgeon and the callousness of a butcher. You had done it without hesitation, without a second thought, leaving her to pick up the jagged pieces of what was once whole. She had begged and prayed, whispered desperate pleas to every deity that would listen, hoping beyond hope that the universe would grant her one mercy: that she would never have to see you again.
But Cupid, in all his twisted irony, had other plans.
To be continuedâŚ
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