#brb burning it down

[clouds-of-wings]

The secret to living to an incredibly old age could be far more straightforward than previously thought, as you’ll find out in this interview with a scholar at University College London’s Centre For Longitudinal Studies.

Instead of eating olive oil, walking 10,000 steps a day or never having children, Saul Justin Newman’s best advice for living past 100 is to simply not get a birth certificate when you are born. For those of us who didn’t have the foresight at the time to not ask for a birth certificate, misplacing the document is of course an option, too.

He has tracked down 80% of the people aged over 110 on Earth and has found that the most common trait they share is not a lifestyle choice so much as the fact that their date of birth has not been properly recorded – and that their real age is unlikely to be what they say or think it is. And these are the lucky ones. In fact, many of the oldest people in the world are already dead.

[theriu]

Hey ya’ll just wanted to share one of the best/funniest burns I have ever read.

[racingliners]

It's also incredibly infuriating as a disabled person to see the FIA Prez get all up in arms over the drivers swearing over the radio, but when people use ableist slurs there's crickets

[laeana]

“It seemed to us that their results weren't good enough to get them into Group A,” Stéphan Bouthiaux, Director of the French teams, tells Nordic Magazine.

To explain the Vosgien's relegation, the French biathlon boss points to a "sporting trajectory that stagnated at an insufficient level". "Emilien [Claude] is already twenty-five years old, and he's been in A for two years now [during the summer], then had almost similar seasons, with a good month of November, a decent start to the season, then disappeared for the rest of the winter," laments the Pontissalien native.

As for Antonin Guigonnat, the oldest French biathlete at thirty-three, Simon Fourcade reveals that the decision "was more complicated to accept, given his extensive World Cup experience and the training group he occupied". “His age played a big part in the decision," admits Stéphane Bouthiaux. He's on a downward trajectory in terms of results. For the first time [in a long time], he didn't go to the Worlds [last winter], and the few bright spots in his season simply don't merit selection in an A group at his age."

“This could be an opportunity for him to take a fresh look at himself, try to raise his level and get back into the group," confirms Simon Fourcade. The doors aren't closed, as they were for Emilien Claude, because there will be two places available at the start of the season, which will allow many athletes to aspire to the World Cup."

Excuse me, biathlon fandom, I need to vent and to rant for a bit. I know this is a bit biased because I obviously hold a lot of affection for Antonin, but I have to talk in front of such bullshit.

So recently French selection took Antonin and Emilien out of the A group. And this article then appeared as the explanations. Now, as to why I’m wildly unhappy with it;

The French team reduced their group from 7 to 5. We could argue that taking Emilien out could be justified as he had time where he didn’t race, but I feel like if you take that in account it’s even worse. He had to take a break in his season, he even thanked the trusts of his coaches, and then he’s evaluated as “he’s been stagnant for two season, he needs to be out”. When he couldn’t even compete.

Now onto the biggest case that makes me annoyed the most, Antonin. Antonin has experience, and maybe his performances aren’t stellar but he’s mostly capable and he’s a good relay (a thing France has clearly been lacking during last season - they had literally four people to do every relay).

For me Bouthiaux’s words are those of an hypocrite. Antonin did amazing results in the European championships, and yet he wasn’t selected. It’s not his fault he wasn’t at the worlds, yet it’s displayed as if it was. The French team didn’t even take six people to the worlds and Oscar didn’t do a single race.

They expect him to rival the Norwegians in the IBU cup, but let me tell you one thing. I’ve spent my year watching the IBU Cup and those Norwegians are freaking talented. Some of them have World Cup level, and what I mean by that is top ranks on the World Cup. Johan-Olav Botn is one example. And yet, Antonin still manages to get a win, podium and good positions.

When I look at Antonin and Oscar’s seasons, I find them pretty similar. But it’s not to say one is better than the others, but that both of them should be on the World Cup.

What I really mean is that the French team is playing dangerous game now. They’re not realistic. They want to pretend they can do the same thing as Norway, they want to prioritize only five people as they’re the “best”, but not everyone is Eric. They should use the people they already have in the team, instead of doing this. We saw the results of using only four people for a relay the entire season.

They keep using the arguments that “this will help them to get motivated again and bring results again”, but even when there are results, they are not rewarded.

At this rate if they want to push Antonin to retire, they wouldn’t need to do anything else.

They pushed people out of the A group, to replace them … with nobody. Honestly at some point the French team could encounter a bigger crisis and I wouldn’t even be surprised, I would say I know what caused it :/

I can’t bring myself to like those decisions and I feel like they deserve better.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

*mic drop*

[shoechoe]

the "guy catches girl as she trips and they stare into each other's eyes and fall in love" thing is like the cheesiest romance trope ever conceived. And yet i imagine it with diavolo and donatella and it melts my heart for no reason

[ruinreigns]

as positive as i want to be ... i'm fucking terrified . and seeing some of you post things about hoping we burn ? you do realize that some of us are trapped here and are scared , right ? that we're here trying to figure out how we're going to survive and instead of support we're being told the whole fucking country should burn ?

we are scared . and seeing that shit ? just lets us know we have no support and no safe place to go .

we're already fucking terrified of our existence becoming illegal and now we can't even have a space here to find support ?

cool .

[soni-dragon]

you know that place you were dreaming of, where all light comes in?

[ID: A drawing of Merlin from BBC’s Merlin. His brown hair is longer, tied behind his shoulders in a small ponytail, and he wears a dark green cardigan. He wears a necklace of Arthur’s Mother’s sigil and looks down at a moss-covered rock in the foreground. It’s the rock that used to hold the sword Excalibur. A forest of brown and green with purple flowers is painted in the background. /End ID.]

[themoonunderstoodmydadjokes]

Ceiling started dripping again and when going to put a bucket down to catch the drip, discovered a giant ass SPIDER AND SPIDER WEB RIGHT BY MY FRONT DOOR !!!!!!! NO FUCKING THANK YOU

[riordanverse-madness]

I saw you like Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo and I've just gotta ask you: have you heard of Burn the House Down by Kenna Jenkins? It's an alternate history novel abt the 1st woman president and her secret sapphic relationship/bearded marriage with her mlm best friend ala shoeh. It also has a subplot about arson at the White House, ft. an entirely queer main cast and really fleshed out characters, and has a really satisfying, gut-wrenching ending!

Alright, riddle me this: How the fuck did I not know about the existence of this book?

The plot sounds amazing and an entire queer cast?! I'm hooked already!

Also the arson part sounds out of place and I look forward to it

[hollandorks]

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME LOCKWOOD & CO WAS CANCELLED?????

FUCK

[marianneroy]

this was amazing. genuinely. tom ceo leaves a bad taste in my mouth but GOD!!!!!!!!!!! GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[the-grafted-branch]

You all are overreacting about the "dangers" of the internet collapsing the barriers between fandoms and creators! Just look how well it's worked out for tumblr darling Neil G-great googly moogly this can't be happening

Neil Gaiman is accused of sexual assault, sexual coercion and rape

A third woman came forward a couple of days ago.

None of the problems people had with the other podcast (and to be honest, I think those arguments mostly just represent the denial and bargaining phases of grief) apply to this one. This woman says she only came forward because the Tortoise podcast made her aware she wasn't alone. Until then she'd believed him when he told her it was just her. Good Omens fans, I'm sorry if you're hearing this from me (although unfortunately it does matter that you hear it from someone). If you had heard but tried to look the other way -- listen, I know this is shocking and heartbreaking. It is of course up to you how you participate in fandom from here. But please stop tagging your fandom posts "Neil Gaiman". You are ensuring that anyone searching for information is going be swamped with Good Omens fanart and S3 countdown posts and pictures of socks(?) and photos of actors who have nothing to do with this. They might then conclude that there's nothing to these allegations. And that matters: at present, aside from Rolling Stone and the two podcasts, this story hasn't received much press attention. The latest survivor says that she tried reaching out to reporters and was told her story "wasn't enough." So at least for now, social media sites do matter as a record on this. When you drown out this story with your fandom feelings, you are helping, whether or not you realise it, to cover it up. And considering that he seems to have targeted fans who trusted him... I don't even want to finish that thought. So please, stop. Do what you want in the other, more relevant tags. But you're likely to have a better experience if you start trying to separate it from him, anyway.

UPDATE, 01/08/2024: Two more women have come forward, bringing the current total to five. The very grim details are here.

[tinyetoile]

Oh my god so literally over a decade ago I randomly rented an anime OVA series while i was getting my hands on every ghibli movie my library had to offer (I had just discovered studio ghibli) and I had literally forgotten the name of it and almost everything about it (except that, through a convoluted chain of events, it got me into the first disgaea) and it's been bothering me for a while that I couldn't figure it out and I. Think I found it. I think it's the Tales of Phantasia OVA.

[bestbouy]

...I'm sorry, where is my fucking custom theme?

hello? did they- did they get rid of the custom themes??

TUMBLR?? HELLO???????

[crimsonbubble]

Cod men being absolute munches please ❤️❤️

cw. nsfw, afab!reader, oral, overstimulation, panty stealing (dont ask pls im depraved), beard burn, scent kink of some sort *not proofread, just pure horny

[BRB LOSING IT RN]

kinktober masterlist

MINORS DNI!!

ghost is messy and kinda pervy. like he'll keep his mask on when he tells you to sit on his face type messy. will not take the mask off until you've soaked through it but you can feel his tongue push against the rough fabric as he bumps it against your clit. he has definitely used the soaked mask as fap material when he's away from you. though he's not opposed to stealing your panties if his masks aren't available to him.

if ghost was messy, then soap is sloppy. he's doped out on your taste and scent. he just wants all his senses to be you. loves to squeeze your hips while your push his face closer against your pretty cunt. once he starts, he won't stop. he just thinks you always have too much on your mind, so he's doing you a favour and making him the only thing on your mind. also, you just look extra pretty when you're tearing up sensitivity. loves how you can't tell if you want to pull him closer or push him away.

price is so so attentive. he's peering up at you as he sucks your pretty clit into his mouth. makes your thighs clench around his head just because he loves seeing how easily your body reacts to him. also loves to hear you complain that your skin is raw and sensitive but then again it is unbelievably hot to see your captain's beard dripping in your arousal.

gaz loves to have you sit on his face. literally smother him, it's what he wants. heavily encourages you to ride his face as you please. grabs your ass like he's getting paid to do so. can not and will not keep his hands off you. if you offer to suck him off, good god he'd make sure to give you the most mind blowing, toe curling, gut wrenching orgasm ever.

alejandro loves control, but he's always willing to sacrifice it for you. he'll let you take the reigns; want to sit on his face? he'll happily lie down for you. want to have him on his kness? he's already there. while his mouth is busy working on your sticky cunt, his hands are roaming all over you. it's like he's trying to commit the curves and slopes of your body to memory.

rudy is a certified lover boy. literal hearts in his eyes when he's needy for you. wants, no needs you to sit on his face. he just wants to feel your thighs on him. holds your hips down on his face so he can tongue fuck you and bump his nose into your clit.

horangi downright abuses your sweet little clit. he can't help it, you make the sweetest noises when he overstims you. he'll pin your hips down on the bed so he can trace his name on your clit with his tongue. loves to hold eye contact with you when he goes down on you. def the type to stop when you close your eyes or look away.

konig forces you to put your weight down on him. don't just hover on him. sit on him. full weight. doesn't matter if he can breathe or not. though he prefers to situate himself between your thighs with his hood on, so you can't see what he's gonna do. once you cum on his face, he isn't letting you go until you do it again. forces your body to move along his face so he can continue to please you.

keegan finds it more amusing to just pull his mask up over his nose to eat you out. simply bc he can't be bothered to take it off completely. he's a clit kisser. and he makes out with your pussy too. sitting in his office chair while he's kneeling under his desk so he can eat you out. loves to finger you while he kisses and licks your clit.

[thesundowncrew]

“What was your plan A? Why would you take your barrier down if you weren’t leaving?”

Before Samhain could say anything, Nightshade answered with a disdained scoff. "Obviously cus he thought he could take on the big baddie all by himself!" The words, true as they were, still felt like a slap on the face. Even as Samhain stood up from the bed and stretched his limbs, he couldn't look Nightshade in the eyes when she was mad at him like that.

“You must’ve known what would happen… didn’t you?”

"Ah... admit ah overestimated my abilities to take control o'me own unconscious," Samhain confessed, rubbing the back of his neck as if it were stiff from a few hours of sleeping the wrong way. It wasn't. "Ah've done it only a few times before an' ah thought it wouldn't hurt to test out some limits.." Whether it was the creature's limits of controlling the dreaming or his own ability of taking it, or both, Samhain didn't elaborate.

He held the dream draught in his hand for a bit before stuffing it into his pocket. "It won't happen again," he said, resolutely.

"But o'course ah knew what would happen if I failed, which is why I left a emergency line directly to Nightshade in case anythin' happened," he defended once again only to be shot down immediately by his aforementioned Plan B. "Uh-HUH, yeah, leave the supernatural hotline to the kid, of course! Smart idea! Probably cus if you told anyone else your hare-brained scheme, no-one would've let you!"

"Nightie, please."

"You're lucky she called at all! And right after, too!" Suddenly Nightshade let out a little gasp, remembering sweet little Nettie was expecting her today, "Oh no! I better get going!" It was raining so everyone must've come inside by now and her absence would be noticed, no doubt.

Samhain nodded. "Before ye go, Nightie, could you take these with you?" he asked, handing over his belongings as well as the items on left on the drawer, save for the music box. "Mr. Arthur made this for you," he took her hand and placed the cat carving in her palm; green, beady eyes looking up at her in matching glee.

"(GASP) Is that lil' ol' me???" she squealed until she remembered she was still mad at the ghoul, clearing her throat and looking away. "I mean (cough) It's cute, I guess. Don't think you'll get off that easy."

"Yer welcome," Samhain chuckled. Now that he knew all his items were in Nightshade's safekeeping, he turned to Bran. "Maybe you should stay with Nightie an' keep Nettie company. As for me," the ghoul said with a smirk, green eyes looking up as if he could see all the way through to the attic above them. "Ah think it's time ah have a little chat with Feldmire~"

Bran watched them banter with each other, wide-eyed, struggling to follow along. Samhain’s answer to his questions only bewildered the boy more. He understood Nightshade’s frustration, but he still winced in sympathy when she tugged Samhain’s ear and pulled at his cheeks. That looked painful.

Dream draughts… Nightshade had made dream draughts. Bran’s gaze flickered to the little pouch on the bed. Was that her creation? From the few details he gathered from her flood of scolding, it sounded like it offered protection in a dream. How much had these two figured out about Feld’s methods?

Samhain addressed him at last. An apology. Bran shook his head, fumbling for words. Their argument had given his heart some time to slow its pace, so his pulse no longer thundered in his ears, but the sense of disorientation lingered. This had never happened before. A guest had never rejected the dream and broken free from Feld’s trap. What happened now?

“If— if Nightshade was your plan B,” Bran began, regaining his voice at last, “what was your plan A? Why would you take your barrier down if you weren’t leaving?” His tone held more confusion than any sort of anger — along with a hint of hurt, a sense that he’d been deceived in some way. A chill passed through him, like the chill that had overcome him last night when he’d discussed the contract with Samhain. A certainty that this would have consequences.

This time, though, the chill seemed to emanate from somewhere above them. The attic. Maybe a window was open up there, letting the rain blow inside. Dread spiked through Bran at the alternative. Surely Feld had realized Samhain was awake by now…

A rabbit-like instinct to run suddenly tugged at him. Bran wrapped his arms around himself and inhaled shakily. “I’m sorry, I just— I don’t understand. You must’ve known what would happen… didn’t you?”