#brain surgery selfie

[lissadiane]

Here’s a quick rundown of the things in my brain that aren’t letting me sleep:

I haven’t posted a fic since 2021 and I want to write something to post this weekend but what? What fandom? What story?

I tried to crochet a baby blanket for my sister in law and it turned into a triangle and it’s still just about the nicest thing I’ve ever crocheted so I’m sending it to her anyway.

I have been suffering from eczema on my eyelids for fucking months and I sought advice from a woman in a cosmetics store (I have seen seven doctors and the eye doctor six times and consulted various pharmacists) and she took me to the skin care section and started recommending me eye creams that were all anti-aging and kept saying “I know you won’t need to care about that for years yet and your age but it’s still really good.” And first of all, it’s not good for eczema, so jot that down. It dries the skin out more. And second of all, it was my birthday a week ago and I turned 41, so… but I felt bad for bugging her so I bought some eyeshadow primer that she promised would help me. I don’t wear fucking eyeshadow but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. But if anyone has advice on how to fix my eyes, I’d be so grateful.

I had a SURGERY on my HEAD the day before my birthday and it was so weird. And there are dissolvable stitches. Gross.

Listen, I think that’s all. Thank you for listening. Here is a birthday selfie of me and Tumbleweed, who tries his best to be the best boy.

[agoraphobe]

i wish my mom would stay off instagram and tiktok 😭 theyre rotting her brain and giving her such low self esteem. she is constantly texting me about cosmetic surgeries (some ive never even heard of), permanent makeup procedures, anti aging crap, asking for makeup tips to hide wrinkles etc..... 😞 also its definitely triggered her eating disorder again..... sometimes she will send me thinspo-esque pics of women and has started obvious body checking (?) in her own selfies and stuff...... social media is a disease

[rosyjuly]

I. After Esteban has sent the pictures to the groupchat Gina made months ago, they have to wait hours until she finally wakes up. Finally, Gina texts back a string of crying laughing emojis and then, Did you steal Mom’s hat?????, which is just plain rude. It makes Este laugh like a hyena, though, and he bullies Mick into FaceTiming her. Gina, soft faced in the early hours in Texas, laughs until she cries. 

II. “Did you bring anything that doesn’t match?” Lance asks in his usual drawl when he FaceTimes them. He’s half propped up. The scowl is visible even behind his sunglasses. 

“Man, it’s warm here, of course we’re wearing white–”

“Save it, Mick,” Lance says, probably rolling his eyes as he pops a grape into his mouth. “You look like you’re on a bloody honeymoon.” 

Este takes the phone from him, says, “Well, next time come with us, then, instead of bailing last minute–” 

“I wanted to spend time with my sister–”

“Who’s actually on her honeymoon–”

III. Este’s mother calls when they’re having lunch. Mick eats his grilled octopus, only half listening to the rapid French conversation. The table next to them is sharing a huge plate of calamari and fries. As he pushes away a piece of lettuce with his fork, Este is putting the phone down in the middle of the table, stuffing a huge bite of fish into his mouth. 

“Um, hi,” Mick says, swallowing his salad. 

“Mick, sweetie,” Esteban’s mom says, kind as always, “you really should get lunch with us in Austria.” 

Sorry, Este mouthes at him, still chewing his food. Mick only shakes his head with a smile; it’s not like spending time with them is a hardship. 

IV. They’re out on the sea when Pierre texts. Mick’s sitting on the edge of the boat, taking pictures when Esteban folds himself down next to him, phone clutched in his hand. It’s a voice message, because of course it is. 

“A joint Instagram post,” Pierre is saying, grin evident in his voice. “Este, man, I can’t believe you’d do this to me. Yuki is going to kill me, are you kidding me?” 

They call him once they’ve stopped laughing. Pierre picks it up after the first ring; he’s in the gym, doing his warm up. 

“Well, it’s not my fault that you’re too lazy,” Este says in lieu of a greeting. Pierre laughs and tells him to fuck off. “Plan a little trip, Pierre, it’s not that difficult–”

“Sure, sure. Mick, can we use your boat?” 

“What part of don’t be lazy did you not get?” Mick asks mildly, lifting his camera to take a picture of their feet, the blue of the sea glimmering beneath it. 

“I hate both of you,” Pierre says, and then hangs up. A minute later he sends a selfie where he's flipping them off. 

V. He rings Seb from the balcony once he and Este retreat to their own rooms. It feels a little ridiculous, given that Este clapped him on the shoulder and said he will go call his girlfriend, but– it’s fine. It’s just a call. Sebastian might be busy anyway. 

He’s not. Mick makes him tell all about his new sailing team, the lessons he’s started to take. Some of Sebastian’s stories sound like straight out of a show he’d normally scoff at in disbelief, and yet he can’t be surprised that Seb got invited to attend at a brain surgery. There’s just something magnetic about him. 

When Sebastian asks how he’s doing, he tells Seb about the little getaway they’re on, about the vintage drive, the jet skiing. 

“Send me some pics,” Seb says. 

Of course he hasn’t seen the ones Este posted already. Mick puts him on speaker – they don’t really do video, he’s not sure why – and sends a few in their Whatsapp thread. He hasn’t imported the photos from his camera yet, so these will have to do. Seb likes them just fine, anyhow, asking follow up questions that make Mick feel all warm in the stomach, until he gets to the last pic. 

“Oh,” Seb says, clearing his throat. “I–. You two look very, ah, cute.” 

Mick frowns. The photo is– well, it’s cute, probably? It’s just a selfie of Este and him out on the balcony after dinner, the sea stretching out endlessly behind them. But Sebastian sounds– weird. 

“Thanks,” he says with a chuckle. “It’s nice here. We both needed to get away from everything, I guess.”

“Yeah,” Seb says. “I bet.” There’s a small pause. It’s definitely weird now, like Sebastian is fighting hard not to say something. But this isn’t a drivers’ meeting where he needs to stay quiet; it’s just the two of them. Then Seb finally says, very quickly, “Well, I’m happy you’re happy.”

“I, um– Thank you?” Mick blinks at the sudden change of topic. “I guess it’s coming along, you know, with the talks Sabine and I have been having–” 

“No, yeah, that– that too, of course, but–” Sebastian clears his throat again. “I meant, just, you know– with Esteban.” 

“With Este– you mean–?”

“Well, he’s a nice young man, and– well, I guess I knew you were close but– anyway. So. Any plans for the rest of your– trip?” 

“We’re still trying to convince Lance to come down tomorrow,” Mick says, finally catching up with the implications, “since this was supposed to be a boy’s trip, you know, with him and Jack, actually…”

“Oh! Ohh,” Sebastian says. There’s something different in his voice. It sounds lighter, maybe. “So it’s not– you’re not–?” 

“I– no. No, God. It’s like I’m on holiday with Gina, except we don’t have to fight over who sits where in the car,” Mick says, and then Seb’s finally laughing, and something sags in his chest in something akin to hope. He’ll ask Seb to come to Austria, maybe, or go see him after Silverstone, and maybe he could ask, this time, for real.

[calmasyoghurt]

The joker out pride project.

Kris is finally starting to catch on to something🤭. As usual, also on ao3.

June 8th, prompt 7. Gender exists?

It starts with a youtube video. It’s a normal video, Kris has watched multiple videos just like this one before. It’s just a photo montage of some guy that took a selfie every day for two years, put them all one after the other, and added some music. The video in itself really isn’t that special, but the title of it is. It includes an abbreviation that Kris doesn’t recognize. FTM. Kris takes a second to try to figure out what it stands for, but can’t figure it out. Maybe there’s another video on this guys youtube channel that explains it. Kris clicks her way to the guy’s channel, and there are in fact multiple videos with that same abbreviation in the title. Luckily, one of them also has the word ‘intro’ in it. That video certainly must explain what it means, so Kris clicks on it.

The video does not technically explain what the abbreviation means. That doesn’t really matter, because after watching it Kris thinks she can figure it out on her own. It’s a simple video, just the guy sitting in front of a camera, talking. He talks about how he’s come out to people. He talks about how most people calls him by the correct pronoun, while a few strangers has called him ‘she’. He says that he’s told his school that he’s a guy, and that he’s changed his name. And lastly, he says he’s going to a gender clinic.

Kris thinks she understands what it all means now. This guy, he seems to have been a girl, but then somehow he started becoming a guy instead. Kris didn’t know that was possible. The whole thing is a bit confusing at first, but she goes on to watch all other videos in this guy’s channel. When she’s done that, she types in FTM, which she by now has reason to believe stands for ‘female to male’ in to the youtube search bar. There are way more videos than what Kris had imagined, or maybe even hoped. She spends a good part of the afternoon watching videos, learning.

When Kris goes to bed that day, she feels like she’s seen every video there is on the subject. She has learned what the word transgender means, and that you can get hormones to make your body look more like one of the gender you feel like. Kris has also learned about surgery’s to remove breasts, and seen people show how the scars can look after. Kris has all this new knowledge, but there’s still something nagging at the back of her head. There’s a question, and it’s been flying around in her brain, unanswered, for most of the afternoon and evening. Is Kris so invested in the subject simply because it’s interesting, or is it because she, to some small degree, can relate?

[arctic-hands]

[Image Description: selfie of a pale person with brown hair pulled back, leaning back in a reclined gaming chair. The person is wearing a green shirt, a black KN95 mask, and those flimsy, earless, rolled-up sunglasses eye doctors give you after they've dilated your pupils. The top text says "Gets brain surgery to save vision". The bottom text says "Gets diagnosed with astigmatism 1 year later". End I.D]

😮‍💨

[daka-d3monb0y]

I talked about my Earth Headcanon thing so now I will explain the process of how bio-organic anamatronics are created ( in my AUs) ✨

Bio-organic anamatronics:

Fazbear Entertainment takes a newborn baby (usually with parental permission) and moulds their soft new born baby skin to an adapting animatronic suit. The suit will "grow" and expand with the child until reaching its maximum built size. They are completely human underneath.

Earth was made with a fully adult woman (creator -_-). It's basically the same process but the animatronic stays the same size and the person's brain was poked at and altered by The Creator himself.

[When Earth "died" she got an entirely new human body, so everything feels new and different.]

When Francine was born she was born a human baby. But almost immediately upon birth they take her away and fit her to the pre-made animatronic suit that was designed. So yeah.

(They have tons of futuristic technology, and my AU takes place closer to the timeline of security breach so I think this is possible by being impossible lol)

Adults can become anamatronics to (kinda?)

Monty's dad was a human who got surgery to become an anamatronic. He had metal plates and all kinds of different stuff surgically put onto him because, idk he wanted to be an anamatronic? That's why he gave his kids to be made into anamatronics too.

But non-bio-organgic anamatronics like the other daycare attendants, Foxy, Puppet, and others, are just robots. Some have more human-like capabilities. For example: My Moon and Lunar have throat pipes and stomach hatches. But they are not human✨

Have Francine taking a selfie now 😂

[brandwhorestarscream]

Pairings for baby shower. ThunderRod Sparkling?

Ohhh Rodimus is so proud! He's glowing, literally, when he holds his baby for the first time. He takes his little spark to work with him every day, but only after using it every single second of maternity leave. He insisted on being the one to carry the sparkling, and Thunderclash is too much of a pushover to tell him no. The sparkling, as a result, was so big Rodimus was bursting at the seams, and his water broke before bitty was ready. As a result he had to have emergency cesarean and Ratchet reamed his ass so hard. I told you so, how can you be so slagging stupid, you're lucky my servos are working today you empty headed bolt-for-brains sorry excuse for a Prime-

Anyway 🤭 the surgery goes perfectly fine. Thunderclash definitely faints in the delivery room though. Ratchet makes poor First Aid drag him out by the ankle. Drift is waiting outside like a good amica and helps Thunderclash come around and breathe while First Aid goes back in.

The sparkling is a massive, chunky and round little thing, red and white like a candy cane with the cutest most angelic little face. Because he's a bit early Ratchet has to do a bunch of health checks as soon as he's born, but thsnkfully his internals are all fully flrmed so he doesn't need an incubator. His carrier is overjoyed and so, so relieved. He takes up like 80% of Rodimus's chassis while sleeping in a little loaf on top of him, and Roddy is floating on cloud nine gently rocking him by the time Thunderclash comes in. They get to bond with their newborn while Ratchet is welding him up, and go back and forth snickering about how he almost looks like a little medic with his colors. Rodimus starts glowing and Thunderclash takes over 100 pictures. They're not released from the medbay for several days, but when they are Thunder hovers nervously around Roddy and insists he sit down and not strain himself. Prime is, of course, happy to oblige 💖

He enjoys his maternity leave to the fullest, and he's so in love with his son it's not even funny. He gets lost just staring at his little face, entranced by the fact that they made him. He sends Drift and Ratchet sooo many selfies of him holding the baby, and starts putting a daily baby picture + update in the ship's daily announcement newsletter. Literally no one is mad cuz bitty is adorable.

He's practically a celebrity around the ship, and when Rodimus goes back to work he has more visitors to his office than ever before cuz he always has the sparkling in a sling on his chassis. People are always bringing little presents or just to coo over the bitty, and at least one couple decides they wanna start trying for their own as a result 🤭

[foxboyclit]

fox i have decided to bother you for storyteller saturday this week, bc modern au obedience has destroyed my brain, and im sure you've posted *something* about it before, but i want to inflict modern au Nydalla's on you. because. ruthless businesswoman Minisstra...

that's all i've got but you know. i am. Contemplating

(pretend there's a question in here somewhere)

i posted something abt modern au Nydallas and tbh i havent come up with much else other than Vibes but heres some more bullet points for you:

Iphis is somewhere in his mid 20s and Minnies in her mid 40s

the times either of them were recovering from surgery were hell for other internet users. the amount of rancid drama a single tranny stuck on the couch can manifest is astronomical

Minisstras fashion is p much all sleek black dresses with silver jewelry

just swap the rise and fall of Menzo Houses with like...the stock exchange and thats what theyre constantly freaking out over

she'd text like an Old Lady with some modern slang/memes jarringly thrown in based on whatever Iphis recently explained to her. like how does she know what hot girl summer means

Iphis is just getting into trouble and hooking up with various people while shes at work

his phone is just full of those texts like "wow there's nothing i like about you" "tell me more~" "this isnt sexting" "its better than sexting". youve seen those compilations im sure. insufferable man

@hyenagirlbulge's stellar addition: Iphis is a Harvard business school dropout

bonus: Iphis' tumblr would probably be something like spiderboyhole bc i think its funny. its all black and purple aesthetic selfies. hes been banned multiple times for starting fights and being too horny for tumblr

i get what you said about vivien bc when you take the spider mommy death cult indoctrination out theyre like....So Much Worse

[incandescentflower]

People I wanna know better tag meme

Tagged by @lurkingshan thank you for the tag!

Last song?

God help me, I am listening to the Cherry Magic songs even the ones with dubious raps. This is what Tay Tawan has done to me. It isn't pretty.

Favorite color?

I love red and lots of various shades in the red family.

Currently watching?

Weekly watching: Last Twilight, Sukiyanen kedo do yora ka, Cherry Magic Th, The Sign, My Demon, Welcome to Samdal-ri

Also have been coerced into watching the Mysterious Lotus Casebook with a friend.

Last movie?

Kind of a cheat, but it was the Our Dating Sim movie and I didn't like it as much as the drama since they took out the little post-credit scenes.

I really don't watch movies very often because I have so many dramas I'm watching.

Sweet/Spicy/Savory?

Probably sweet but sweet and savory together is pretty nice.

Relationship status?

I am chronically monogamous and have been with the same person since I was in my early 20s.

Current obsessions?

Inhaling anything related to Cherry Magic Thailand into my brain as much as humanly possible atm.

Last thing you googled?

something about the rehabilitation time of my surgery I just had because I am one of those people who stupidly looks up every detail of health things on the internet to try to alleviate anxiety which obviously almost always makes it worse when I should just talk to my doc or pt.

Selfie or another pic you took?

a picture I took at sunrise on my most recent birthday that wasn't too long ago.

tagging @stickers-on-a-laptop @zscribez @minyoulater @galauvant @dancing-out-in-space @dimplesandfierceeyes @funyasm and @sunshinedobi if you want to play.

[ruggiethethuggie]

What do the boys do when they help volunteer at my work

Ft: Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia *notes: I work for a nonprofit organization where the main building is a shelter that does intakes and adoptions and where the other building is used as a spay/neuter clinic (which is where I am at). Also, this is semi-proofread (thank you my bby girl coworker). **tw: surgery (nothing is explicitly described, but it is referenced) © please do not copy and or repost my work as your own, my brain is massive and these are my thoughts.

Riddle:

Probably comes in and immediately comments on how it smells like “animal”

I get vibes that he doesn’t care to be around the dogs that much

Honestly maybe not the cats either

I do think he would want to see the rats at the clinic (emphasis on SEE)

I think at first he would think they are cool but if one peed on him

Rat has no more head, ya know?? (Figuratively)

Would easily come and defend our front desk staff if he hears someone being a Karen

Ultimately going to wash his hands or use germ x every 5 minutes even if he doesn’t touch something 

I think he would enjoy walking around and micromanaging the staff

Or maybe he would be good at managing other volunteers

Trey:

Brings treats for the animals

They were all handmade by him

He probably tries to befriend the mean animals

To no one's surprise, he is their favorite person

He probably brings snacks for the staff as well

Will continue to ask us what he can do to help

Washes all the dishes in minutes and then reorganizes our food pantry

Is very helpful with paw pantry (he is charming and talks to the people easily)

Does not care to see the surgical side of the job and doesn’t step foot into clinic

He would help with intakes or adoptions if asked to

Cater:

Super sweet to all staff and volunteers

Likes to sit in the cat room and take photos of cats

Jokes that he will start coming to do photo sessions of the animals to get them adopted

Likes to post photos or videos on Instagram for us

Spends a lot of time laughing and looking at his phone instead of actual volunteer work

Compliments the staff and tell us how much he appreciates us and what we do

Enjoys having conversations with the animals, sometimes baby talks with the dogs

Likes to cuddle the puppies and take selfies with them

Any puppy or kitten posted to his personal account is adopted the same day, sometimes within the hour

Ace:

Never signs in when he volunteers, has to be reminded to every time

Refuses to do “kennel work” as a volunteer

Is adamant he can help with surgical assistance 

Honestly he isn’t terrible at the job

He knows how to hold the animals well and he makes jokes the whole morning

He is actually queasy the whole time he volunteers

He passes out trying to force himself to watch a surgery (like who are you trying to impress)

Is sent to the break room to open syringe packages for us

Opens a box and then comes to watch us for a few minutes before being sent back lol

Befriends the asshole clinic cat, May Belle

He and May Belle wreak havoc at the clinic

He talks a lot when he does the recovery area 

Probably is like me and likes to hide and scare the clinic staff and volunteers for funsies

Deuce:

Is willing to help wherever he is needed

Really good with helping clients with paperwork if you go over it thoroughly with him first

Does well at damage control with upset clients

Does not mind helping and doing “kennel work” unlike Ace

Will get attached to an animal the first day he volunteers

Found in his favorite dog’s run on break time

Tries to share his sandwiches with the dogs because he wants them to have something special

Keeps asking his mom to let him adopt, she hasn’t said yes yet

Helps front desk staff a lot

Is one of the first to offer help unloading the vans full of bags of food and cat litter

Is very humble when he gets complimented on how helpful he is

Leona:

Cat volunteer connoisseur

Literally the gatekeeper to cat adoptions

You better be worthy of taking one of his felines home or don’t even bother with an application 

He only approves the best of the best

His opinion holds no actual weight when it comes to decisions since he’s a volunteer 

HOWEVER, there are so many “misplaced” cat adoption applications that he has received 

He doesn’t actually clean the cat room when he volunteers but he does socialize the cats well

He spends a lot of his time worrying about sick kittens

He is always chatting with the shelter director on what more he can do to provide for their care

Any treatments he needs to pay for? Expensive medicines?

You name it and he will buy it for those babies

Ruggie:

Always brings the staff donuts from the local donut shop

Runs between shelter volunteering and clinic assisting 

Spends his morning translating to the clinic patients what is going to happen during surgery and recovery (like actually talking to the animals)

Usually calms down the crazy wild patients for us or the ones that are really scared

Likes to negotiate with supply reps so I don’t have to because he knows I have anxiety

Always offers to help carry packages for the UPS or FedEx drivers

Will offer helping Trey with paw pantry if he sees him outside with a client

Between he and Trey, people try to come by multiple times a day just to talk to them

Works well with the animals at the shelter

He likes getting them new toys every day and watching them play

He would rather help staff clean than walk the animals

He enjoys spending time with the animals, but knows he does well at cleaning so his help makes it go by faster

Jack:

Forgets to sign in because as soon as he arrives he is already finding things to do

Helps at surgery center instead of shelter

He is really good at dog handling for getting patients ready for surgery

Stays on top of laundry at the clinic as well, it’s like he hears the signal before we do sometimes

Has staff do a few stretches before we start surgery so we can “stay limber and flexible”

Is the one who carries the large patients to and from recovery

If he sees you carrying something and you’re struggling, he just takes it from you without saying anything

Lectures me about drinking water more and taking my ADHD meds because my brain is always scattered

Is the one we send to stand outside the door if people are acting crazy cause he looks like scary guard dog

Azul:

Volunteer? No

He actually helps our exec director a lot

He’s really good at overseeing projects and creating plans for the future

He assists more with event planning and acquiring donations for silent auctions

How he acquires the extravagant things he does is a mystery to some..

When he’s not helping the exec director with event stuff, he’s helping at the shelter

He likes working with the cats more because it isn’t as laborious as cleaning after the dogs

He and Leona talk a lot about plans on how to revamp the cat room

Leona knows his voice holds no weight here but maybe a small contract with Azul will get his ideas to the director

He also likes to bring snacks from the lounge occasionally 

You’ll find him sipping on his drink in the break room if he has time

Jade:

Not necessarily “normal” volunteer work for us, but I feel like he would be the one in charge of yard work

I think he would make sure the dog yards are cleaned properly

He’d probably keep their (le poopoo) to take home and use as fertilizer for his plants

He’d make sure the yards are properly mowed and look nice for visitors

Will absolutely yell at you if you try to move his catnip plants from the catio

Has ideas to plant more flowers and do some landscaping outdoors to make the vicinity look more appealing

Would probably not spend a lot of time with the animals while there unless it’s raining and he’s indoors

I think if he is inside, he probably stays up front near the cat room

Or he is asking the front desk staff if there is anything they need help with

He is very helpful at reception

Floyd:

Is not TOTAL chaos when he volunteers

He would rather help clean the dog room instead of walking the dogs

Will constantly yell “buckets” when he goes to throw stuff away

If you’re helping him clean, be prepared to be sprayed with water “by accident”

Likes to take people’s snacks from the break room and hide them around the shelter

He likes to tease and say “you missed a spot” when you’re cleaning something

Is the tall giraffe the clinic calls if they can’t reach stuff on the top shelf

You remember how I said Azul gets nice things for auctions?

It’s Floyd. Floyd is how

He’s super charming to donors and they find him really intriguing

But if they can’t be swayed by charm, he does have other ways to make them give up the goods

Kalim:

Brings us iHOP every time he comes to volunteer

It could be 2pm and he brings a whole bunch of pancakes with a huge smile on his face

Really enjoys helping at the shelter instead of the clinic

He isn’t one who does a lot of cleaning

But he loves walking and socializing the dogs

He really enjoys taking dogs out for meet n greets with potential adopters

His bubbly personality puts the dogs at ease and they’re more likely to show their personality when they meet new people

He likes to go into the dog runs when they’re outside and throw a tennis ball or a stick for hours

If he finds a good stick outside, he brings it to me to put in my stick drawer 

The dogs are always tired when he leaves, but so happy

Doesn’t leave the shelter without telling every animal and staff member goodbye individually 

“Goodbye Sid, Goodbye Meatloaf, Goodbye Gumby, Goodbye Hinoa”

Jamil:

Always comes on days Kalim is volunteering

Tends to help a lot in the cat room or with intakes

Occasionally will help with cleaning the dog room but hates when Floyd sprays him with water so he leaves

The cats like to climb into his lap in the cat room

He meows back at them to “chat” and isn’t afraid to hiss back if they threaten him

Is surprisingly good at giving the cats their nightly meds

Like how and where did you learn these techniques because wow

Always brings food for everyone to eat at lunch time, he doesn’t want anyone to go without

Makes food for both the shelter and clinic staff

It’s always delicious and well balanced 

Always says something like “a well balanced meal will let us take care of the animals better” blahblahblah

Had to wrangle Kalim at night time when volunteering is over

Basically says goodbye to everyone with Kalim

Thank you for coming to my ted talks. I will try to do the other half later tomorrow or something hahahaha. But I have ADHD so that is a really, really funny joke.

[pupkou]

omg your recovery is so similar to mine!! I had mine Monday and YES THE CHILLS ARE THE WORST that's the anesthesia leaving your body apparently??? I have numbness and random zaps as the nerves reconnect apparently that happens.

yes looking at it is so weird!!! I find if you. can take selfies it helps your brain get used to it better than looking directly, which will get better with time

I hope you heal well!!!!

aw wow!!! congrats on your surgery!! i got mine thursday :)

the chills are so odd!! i’ve been out of anesthesia since the day i had surgery so im not really sure if it has to do with that or just the fact that im healing so my body can’t put as much effort into temperature regulation? i’m not a doctor lol idk

i have the weird numbness in some spots but in others i’ll feel a little twinge of feeling happen that’s neutral and then other times it’ll be painful out of nowhere 😭 it mostly just feels fuzzy like static and like my chest is vibrating now lol it’s so odd but my nerves are going crazy

that’s a great idea!! i should take some selfies :) it was just so odd to see my body so transformed and i wasn’t ready for it lol

thank you!! i hope you heal well also ❤️❤️❤️

[papirouge]

like I'm all for dunking on Tiktok but yall need to stop with the revisionism

There's a post floating around where OP says that Tiktok is fucking our brain up because that's the first application where we have to show our face and talk in video, and my millennial self couldn't help but be like....HELLO??!! did you guy forget that instagram is literally was 'made' the SELFIE? instagram was the first app where people shown their face as the prime material of their content (myspace and facebook were more written/diary oriented app)

I'm old enough to remember the endless think piece & boomer media freaking out about instagram and how it made my generation more vain than the previous ones (which is true - millennials are the first gen to trivialize cosmetic surgery). And don't forget that insta culture is what popularized face edit app/filters. Instagram is what propelled body dysmorphia to length nobody thought possible. Instagram is what invented "stories", which were pretty much tiktok 1.0. I think that's something people tend to forget so much every single app with no exception copied this feature. Ironically, even tiktok has now its own version of stories.

TL;DR : instagram walked so tiktok could run. The only issue exclusive to tiktok is a decrease in the average online attention span (by its endless algorithmic swipe system), but otherwise, nothing that people accuse tiktok of (oversharing, posting random strangers face online, etc) is exclusive to that app

[dolloshub]

Quick Medical Update -OS-

Cluster Headache Selfie!

We are slowly figuring out what comes next. It’s Owner has one foot out the door, and this doll is about four weeks out from brain surgery- so no biggy.

We are in the hurry up and wait phase. Waiting for out case to be presented, and a surgery week set. Hopefully in the next four weeks. It is, by far the hardest thing both the girl who was and this doll have ever done, aaa so much- 90%+ is connected to seizures and this brain is weird even by drug resistant epilepsy standards.

So weird in fact that some of the top doctors and neurosurgeons are extremely hesitant to take action. This is because they do not understand how doll is as functional as it is, even with mapping the brain, neuropsychology testing. This body/brain shouldn’t be able to function beyond communicating basic needs. And yet…. Here we are.

Because of this, every precaution that can be taken on the medical side is being taken in preparation for surgery. This means a longer wait, possibly more tests, and all the while the brain is having seizures and cluster headaches daily. Not a stable situation.

OS doesn’t believe this has been explicitly explained, and deserves its own post so it will keep it short.

The girl who was, that Echo in cooperation with MT knew that she did not have much time, and knew that in order to heal, the system’s CPTSD needed to be stopped or reduced.

The most effective way to do so is going directly to the source. In this case it was the body and brain and medical interactions. Our epilepsy she hypothesized was at the top, with most everything else being downstream. The girl who was knew the goal was to decouple three major conditions, with epilepsy being at the top of the list. So she started the project of decoupling and took that trauma until she could go no further.

That Echo eventually reached max trauma, where there was high risk of being put into a dormant state involuntarily.

At that point she knew her own existence was time limited, not just because of unrelenting standards, but because she had taken on so much trauma that the brain would put her (The girl who was’s Echo) into a dormant state soon, which that Echo knew would completely destroy the girl that was.

The Hail Mary toss was not only because she was out of time, but because she started a project, the only project that mattered and would hopefully ,maybe allow the brain, body, and mind to heal. The only way that healing could occur was to stop the daily trauma.

It is also for the same reason that app Echo is at the edge, why she keeps shutting down. If CPTSD was not a factor, the girl who was would likely still exist, and this blog would not.

~OS~

[homenecromancer]

not a great photo but… i figured next month i will not be up to taking shirtless selfies, so here is me 4 years and 11 months after top surgery

there’s one small spot on my left side where the nerves just didn’t feel like healing correctly, but i have like. full sensation otherwise

also my scars ended up healing way better than i expected they would ?? im kind of glad in the sense ive never had to explain them in a locker room but there’s also the catch-22 that… im proud of being trans and wouldn’t trade it for the world, and sometimes the fact that my body healed well makes me feel like im letting down the transmasc homies by not being more #Visible. even though it is demonstrably safer for me right now to continue being more-or-less stealth at work.

the human brain is weird like that

[pinkieroy]

Under read more because it is a bit too personal

Having a lot of gender thoughts these past two weeks, and I understand people who are t4t more now, like my ex does use she/they pronouns and I don't want to sound like i'm diminishing her experience, but god so much shit made me uncomfortable like she didn't get my dysphoria and kept sending shit about loving boobs, like I hadn't said how much top dysphoria I have multiple times, constantly making me feel inappropriate about it, and i'm not the best at communicating but I talked about how much I want to be able to afford top surgery, to then receive memes like "i'm sad send boobs" and it could be a joke or whatever but idk it make me feel like shit, because I've been trying to pretend they are not here since I hit puberty, so no of course I won't take a picture of them.

Or when I stopped sending selfies in general, because gender stuff was making it hard for me to take them and see myself, and they wouldn't just take that as an answer to why I didn't want to send any (long distance shit)

Anyway, I guess I just wanted someone who could understand that sometimes my brain will get too wrapped up in gender stuff, and respect this boundary.

And because i'm being personal and shit, lately I've been thinking a lot about that time contrapoints (idk which video sorry) said something about not wanting or having a hard time with the thought of getting older in her pre transition body, and maybe it is my birthday coming next week, but yeah that is how I feel and maybe I should look into medical transition and stop stalling even if it makes me scared shitless

[must-be-mythtaken]

love finding out at 4 in the afternoon on a Wednesday that my dad had brain surgery this morning. he had holes! drilled in his skull!!

but he's doing well! here is a selfie he took! also he loved getting driven to the bigger hospital,he was bragging about how whenever there was traffic the ambulance could just weeoo weeoo and get past it