#brain feels like soup. aaaaa

[merakiui]

MERA, THAT NEW TREY FIC HAS TICKLED MY BRAIN SO GOOD LIKE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! ヾ(≧▽≦*)oヾ(≧▽≦*)oヾ(≧▽≦*)o

Surreal horror has always been one of my favorite types of horror because of the unsettling atmosphere and the reality-bending and you wrote it so well! You did amazing when you wrote the dream sequences in DRU, and now to actually read a whole dang fic with the theme?? With Trey of all people???? OTZ OTZ OTZ You've unlocked so many new possibilities with his Doodle Suit, truly the Gaslighting King of all time 👑👑👑

AND THE SYMBOLISM!!!!! please please please please ramble about them if you want-- I'm having so much fun rereading this fic again and again. The Violet Butterwort caught my attention cause isn't that a carnivorous plant? 👀👀 Trapping insects in its leaves like a certain grass-haired man??? 👀👀👀

Anyway, all I'm saying is, Trey is not the only chef around cause you definitely COOKED with this one 🔥🔥✨✨

( ≧ᗜ≦) AAAAA OMG OMG THANK YOUUUUUU!!!!!! ✨ ✨

I'm so happy it tickled your brain! I adore surreal horror in film and writing. There's just so much potential for the craziest of things to happen! Dream sequences or sequences that feel like dreams are some of my favorite things to write. The ones in DRU are also just as surreal. <3 I originally wanted to write this concept with Jade (Kalim was second on my list), but I decided upon Trey in the end because I think he suits the surreal horror vibes so well! Doodle Suit + the power of seamless gaslighting........ what a terrifying combination.

I wanted the story to feel obscure and almost like a trip with the imagery and descriptions. Sort of like the vibes in Alice in Wonderland. Just,,,,, utterly bonkers.

👀 you are very right about the butterwort hehehe!!! As for other symbolisms/details, these are the main ones in the story! I left out some of the symbolisms of various lines or words because that would make for such a long analysis of my own work. ^^;;;

It is under the cut due to length (forgive me)! A warning for mentions of sexual assault and drugging!

✧ the binary can be translated into messages. :)

✧ the feeling of itchiness - feeling as if you don't fit in your body after it's been violated. Feeling like something (trauma/blocked memories) is beneath your skin and you can't get it out no matter what you do. Also, itchy as in discomfort.

✧ grass - this is meant to be Trey. It's how Reader views him throughout the story.

✧ violet butterwort - as you noted, it's a carnivorous plant that traps insects! It's also a symbol of resilience and a common charm used to ward off supernatural evils.

✧ birthday cake with 20 candles - the plot is that Reader and Trey are/were in a relationship and on Reader's twentieth birthday Trey drugged their tea (chamomile) and had his way with them when they were half-conscious. Thus, Reader was never able to indulge in their birthday cake because Trey took it all. Cake can also be a metaphor for Reader's body.

✧ the line "it will take twenty more..." is in reference to the healing process and how it's going to take Reader time to heal from everything.

✧ xylophone chimes/broken glass - the juxtaposition of something sweet-sounding with something jarring.

✧ the white rabbit - a sense of innocence/comfort lost.

✧ "Soups are easy to eat. Easy to slip special sentiments in." - a reference to drugging.

✧ "Soup is what becomes of your brain when your body is too itchy." - disassociation during something traumatic (in this case, sexual assault).

✧ the hedge maze that never has a true exit - the feeling of being lost and trapped and never having a real escape.

✧ the grass bow around the white rabbit's neck - the obsessive and unhealthy hold Trey has on Reader. How he can't let them go.

✧ static - lots of noise and amidst the noise there's Trey, whose own voice is sometimes static and other times soothing enough to cut through the static.

✧ the sequence of "it's here and then there and then here again..." - an allusion to the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland when he's giving Alice directions, but they're all over the place.

✧ every time the grass whispers or speaks - things Trey told Reader when he assaulted them.

✧ "In and out. Out and in. In and out. Out. Out. Out. Incessant itchiness. Get it out." - double meaning for breathing but also the act of sex (thrusting).

✧ the questioning of "that didn't just happen, did it?" - how Reader feels in the aftermath. But also just a general question in response to gaslighting. A consistent questioning of one's reality.

✧ Reader's association of the word "gross" with cake (especially birthday/confetti cake) - it ties into the above and also the part in the story about favorite foods and memories.

✧ teeth falling out - usually, in dream interpretation, this symbolizes a recent loss or mourning of something lost.

✧ hyperdontia - the horror of having a mouth and a voice but never being able to use it because it's so clogged with teeth, so no one will ever listen to or hear the things Reader desperately wants and needs to say.

✧ Frozen Charlotte dolls - Victorian era dolls that could float in the bath. They were also baked into cakes. They're called Frozen Charlottes based on a folk ballad called "Fair Charlotte," which tells the tale of a young girl (Charlotte) on her way to a ball with her lover (Charlie). It's dreadfully cold out, but she frets over the fact that wearing a coat will prevent everyone from seeing her pretty dress. She freezes to death on her way to the ball and arrives in her carriage as a frozen corpse. I think these dolls are fascinating and so cute, so I just wanted to compare teeth to Frozen Charlottes. The description of having a dozen tiny dolls stuck in your throat made for unpleasant imagery, so I wanted to write it!

✧ "A black rabbit blinks up at you with its milky-white eyes. Its nose twitches. Once. Twice. Thrice. A loud gust slithers through the field in which you currently observe, surrounded by decaying greenery and wilted wildflowers. They sprawl endlessly, clawing at the horizon beyond with broken fingers. You watch monochrome tones sway, dried petals flaking off like scabs against a battered, bloodless sky." - this is the same paragraph as seen in the beginning, only certain details have been changed. It's a hint at some sort of cycle that Reader's just only beginning to see. Idyllic beauty is no longer so blinding now that Reader sees what they didn't notice before.

[amuseoffyre]

One day I will run out of stuff to write about this show. Not today, but one day. But specifically, was watching the Jackie and Ed scenes in 2x07 and went oooooo again.

When we start episode 5 with Ed on probation, he's awkwardly trying to make amends on the ship, but clearly has zero experience of doing it and tells Stede he never apologised for anything. It takes Fang teaching Ed how to sit with himself and think about the stuff he's done. Ed realises the impact of his actions and genuinely apologises for the first time for his past behaviour.

This also leads to him realising he needs to take some time, which is when he tells Stede he wants to take things slow. It's something new for him and he's trying hard to make a change in his patterns of behaviour, the so-called whim-prone tendencies. There's also one of his many metaphors: you can't catch a fish unless it wants to be caught. He's not quite ready to be where they are yet and expresses it instead of just diving in head first.

Thanks to the speed-run of the season, we cut to the next day at the beginning of episode 6: Ed is sitting with himself and thinking about the big things that he feels remorse about.

His dad, the storm incident, cutting off Izzy's toes, killing people during the raid spree, shooting Izzy, the storm incident again and driving his employees to kill him.

He also apologises directly for the second time in his career. Not the greatest apology in the world, it must be said, but a definite leap ahead from the awkward ukelele apology Stede wrote for him the day before. And, let's be honest, also probably the only kind of apology Izzy would tolerate from anyone, prickly little cactus man that he is :D

It's such a tiny moment, but the set up of "there's a storm coming, I just can't see it" is aaaaa.

In the basket, Hornighost said "you move on or you blow your brains out". Ed's been living on the run from his memories his whole life. He's never consciously sat with them before, not until Stede and all the bleak stuff bubbled up from under the surface when he was pushed to kill someone he cared about. And after that's when he tried the blow-your-brains-out approach by proxy. (He always outsources the big job, after all)

This is first time trying something that isn't either of those two things. As Buttons said, it's about change and now, with the experience of the basket behind him, he is trying to do things differently. To give himself proverbial soup as well - taking care of himself. Getting some nutrients into him, even though it feels like poison.

He's trying to process all this guilt and decades of trauma by himself and, just as before, he falls back into water metaphors. The storm isn't about the sea. The storm isn't about the weather. The storm is about him and his emotions. Sunshine one minutes, cataracts the next. The panic and anxiety is there bubbling away like an emotional storm front moving in.

He's already got this going on when the Ned stuff happens and then he has the equivalent of Stede's conversation with Chauncey: Jackie pointing out that Stede is now successful and "the fucking man" and basically is emulating and apparently enjoying the life and lifestyle Ed has come to hate and it happened because of Ed. If Ed hadn't goaded Ned by beating his record, Ned would never have come after them and if he hadn't come after them, Stede would never have killed him. ("You're a monster, a plague, you defile beautiful things")

The emotional storm has hit and he's not handling, to the point that he's withdrawing more and more from everything and everyone, sitting quietly out of sight. And like Stede did in 1x09, he decides leaving is the best option.

Our lads are both messy disasters, but they're both trying to do so much work on themselves, trying to figure themselves out. I wanna see an S3 where they get to do some more.

[eldritch-spouse]

Hi Pinnie! Uh I’ve wanted to send an ask for a while but I had to work up to it and it didn’t feel right to do it anonymously cuz I gotta own my stuff ya know? I love your characters a lot. They feel like real people and it's refreshing and your humor is funny as all.

Okay, this is no time to fangirl don't get down ta business.

I wanna propose to Obie with a ring pop and treat him to a nice binge-fest while playing games or watching movies or what have ya then ride his face for hours. Is that too much to dream about? He's one of many of your bastards that ping pong in my head.

Well, anyways I hope this finds you well and that you can have a good night's rest :]

[Aaaaa thenk ye! 🤍 I'm glad they feel that real to you, because a good chunk of them have been swimming around in my brain soup for years. <:7]

On the subject of Obie, while he's definitely going to appreciate the ring pop, he's going to feel awful when he inevitably gobbles it down. In fact, maybe you should invest in a wedding ring that gluttons can't digest. Greed has jewelry like that, for sure, it's just a "little" expensive. You wouldn't believe how many of them just swallow their own collars or bracelets... You don't have to go for the fingers though, wedding jewelry is often worn on the horns and tail too, prices vary a lot there.

Skip the movies. Or rather, you can watch as many movies as you want, seated on his face of course. Don't just stop at one now.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Sorry to bombard ur inbox but that response gave me a thought 😭😭 cult leader!geto and sorcerer!reader both being in battle except at one point you get injured enough to completely black out and he finds you somehow and is like “oh no :( pookie injured” and then hes just like oh well i have to take them home!!! To heal them!!! (That isn’t him trying to justify literally kidnapping you he probably just actually wants to heal you) so you wake up in his cult confused as fuck because the last thing you remember is passing out from blood loss and he’s just sitting cross legged smiling at you with complete and utter adoration in his eyes like “:) I made u tea” and hes laid you down somewhere so comfortable, all your wounds are tended to, and he’s completely aware that you probably want to kill him but he’s like. Oh do u want soup. I can get you soup. And just leaves the room and pats your head SHJASHAHSH HE DOES NO WRONG!!! HES THE MOTHER EVER — stsg anon :ppp

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR LEAVING UR LOVELY THOUGHTS IN MY INBOX this made me so SOFT stsg anon 🥺🥺 i know i keep saying this but u Get me. this is Him. the only mother ever.

no because this is the greatest thing i’ve heard in my life???? u NEED to write this fic stsg anon i am so emotional. POOKIE INJURED… :(((( i think the most twisted thing abt cult leader!geto is that he will fully act like nothing’s wrong. like you aren’t on opposite sides. he loves you and he doesn’t hide it!! he still just wants you to be safe & cared for!!! i feel like since he wasn’t able to tend to you after he left the school he probably overcompensates when he has you in his cult…. because he hasn’t been able to for so long and it’s been making him so sad 🥺🥺 silly little guy. sappy little loser. he’s just itching to give you that princess treatment because you’re hurt and you need him and internally he’s just kicking his feet and giggling like a schoolgirl <3333 he’s actually so babygirl it’s making me feel sick.

AAAAA AND HIM MAKING U TEA AND SOUP 😭😭😭😭😔😔😔 stsg anon do u want me to die. HE’S SOOO SWEET HE’S SO GIDDY TO HAVE YOU THERE??? gazing at you fondly while you sleep…. sitting CROSSLEGED the first thing that popped into my brain was this:

he’s so……… notice how there’s so much space in his lap??? that’s for us specifically stsg anon. PHDJD BUT GENUINELYYY that’s such a perfect scenario i’m so obsessed HE’S SO FUNNY???? he took you to his CULT and he’s just like oh are you comfortable here?? is it chilly??? i can go get you a blanket ^_^ he’s soooo boyfriend? so Wife?? i am always thinking abt how happy and silly he was in jjk 0 when he was abt to meet his family… ”i’m sooo happy it’s been so long since we were all together <333 let’s take a selfie for the memories <3333” he’s such a mom i love him so much 😭😭

ohhhh this was such a treat im eating it happily :33 i am sending u sm love stsg anon …. sending it telepathically through the sugu hivemind…… hope u have such a lovely day today!! or night!!!! pls never ever hesitate to send more sugu thoughts they give me sm joy to read <333

[catboyfurina]

.

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : Quirkless Erasure

Also on AO3!

TL;DR: 

In some worlds, Midoriya Izuku is the first quirkless hero. But not in this one, not by far.

Because his homeroom teacher is the hero he's always looked up to: UA's first quirkless Pro Hero.

----

Izuku isn't the only quirkless one, and Aizawa gets into the hero course via emotional devastation against his opponents.

anyway so: quirkless aizawa bc i need that

everyone thinks he has a quirk like emotional manipulation of something but no he's just fucking savage, he gets into the hero course bc he blasted the absolute shit out of mic

everything’s on youtube it’s one of the most viewed videos of all time

this aizawa's eyes are permanently gold bc i headcanon it's his quirk that makes his eyes black, not the colour they flash

"you yell because you have a constant fear no one is really listening to you. you play the class clown and don't try too hard so when you look back you think "i failed because i didn't try" not "i failed because i wasn't good enough""

"bro,,, bro what the fuck did i do to you"

aizawa isn’t even salty he’s quirkless tbh

"you're pushing this on me because it hurts, right? your loud, flashy but damaging quirk means the only thing people think you're useful for is heroics. did you want to do this, or is this the only way society will let you feel comfortable in the role it presses in on you"

"well being quirkless is rough but at least i cn be whatever i want to be"

mics just shell shocked mics not even using his quirk and everyone’s just uwu he’s erasing mics quirk

all aizawa does is walk is close and mutter "society thinks im worthless, which is rough. but you have to put your life on the line or you're nothing better than a villain to the people"

and just, lightly pushes him out of bounds

pls mics just in Love this guy tore him to fucking pieces but Damn

aizawa  helps him up off the floor

"so im probably not wrong but im a little sorry for saying it on live tv"

mic "youre amazing"

aizawa just goes bright red and starts sputtering

aizawa: the emotional devastation hero weakness: genuine compliments

consider 1A teacher aizawa just still made of emotional devastation, nezu made him promise not to use his powers of destruction on his children unless he was expelling them 

this is a quirkless izuku au too, mirio got ofa, allmight encouraged izuku to be a hero after the fight but had no quirk to give him and he manages to make his own way into the hero course

so izuku is a little analyst, gets mostly hero points but uses sharp rebar and poles to smash in the sensors of some robots, getting him a few non-rescue points either. Aizawa is watching like "oh interesting a non-combat quirk" and beside him allmight is vibrating with excitement

"he might actually do it!"

"who might do what"

allmight turns sheepishly to aizawa

"young midoriya on camera 6, he might just be the first quirkless student to pass the enterance exam to heroics straight up"

and aizawa can hardly watch anyone else for the rest of the exam, he adopts this kid on the fucking Spot

hes on the edge of his fucking seat, when nezu sends out the zero pointer. "this kid only needs 10 more points, just ten more" and izuku turns around to look at the 0 pointer and aizawa is like "fuck kid i hope you know what youre doing"

he manages to shove a piece of rebar into the treads, stoping it in its place. it tries to swat him like a bug but he just dives out of the way, picks up ochako and sprints and aizawa is like "holy shit holy shit these bastards better give this kid hero points for that"

like they are assigning final hero points and aizawa has to awkwardly put his hand up "i,,, should probably be excluded from giving midoriya hero points because i went from 0 to bias very very quickly"

allmight just nods sagely

"young midoriya be like that sometimes"

pls aizawa tries to act extra tough bc he can’t let anyone know he’s Adopted this child

for all izuku's brain hes useless w social stuff and thinks aizawa hates him but everyone else k n o w s

also izuku is the only person in 1A who knows ab aizawa's "quirk" and hes like, constantly vibrating w glee around the guy

aizawa walks in the first day, hears bakugo asking how this "quirkless bastard" got in, grabs bakugo w his scarf and yeets him into vlad’s room

"ok students, looks like we are a class of 19. any other comments before we start?"

and like everyone is so lost no one questions it

bakugo is screaming bloody murder until vlad "kindly" tells him ua has a strict no discrimination policy and aizawa would have been well within his rights to expel him

please nezu is like "uwu take one of 1B to make the classes even" and vlad is like "no ive already bonded tough cookies" vlad just adopts bakugo instantly

monoma and bakugou become bros, the baku-squad is 50% a thing, but its mostly 1B students but with pinning kiri. kendo and bakugo both keep monoma in line, monoma and kendo keep bakugo in line

during the sports festival shinsou is like "you must have a blessed quirk to get into the hero course"

and izuku just has this "really. this si what we're doing now" look on his face. hes just gesturing to shinso in exasperation, trying to make eye contact w aizawa hidden up in the commentary box

all you can hear from the box is aizawa quiet snickering as mic tries not to give the game away. he yeets shinso out of bonds and just hauls him back to his feet

"im quirkless you nonce"

"oh,,,"

"yeah, oh. what, gonna be embarrassed a quirkless kid kicked your ass?"

"nah i just feel bad for being a dick"

"ok you are the only valid person ive ever met, come meet my not-dad"

"wait what"

izuku fireman carries shinso into the announcers booth and just presents him to aizawa

you can just vaguely hear "no not kid" "but he'll be perfect" "kid this is live ask me after the festival" "but! hed be perfect! and you could train him to carry on your legacy of soul-crushing burns" "... hmmm"

"do i get a say in this?" "no" "nope"

mic just loudly saying "SO BEFORE WE WITNESS A CHILD CRY LIVE ON AIR AGAIN, AS ALWAYS HAPPENS IN THIS FESTIVAL, LETS START THE NEXT ROUND!"

there’s a counter “days since someone last cried: 0”

please its like "times cried durring all sports festivals" "average cry events" "number of times cried this festival"

aizawa being even more of a dad than canon, like hes a mess he sees on sad kid and he's like "wow that's my kid now"

he makes them soup when they get sick and leaves it outside their doors, refuses to admit its him doing it

soup cryptid

please mic is like 100% in love with him and had been for years but aizawa still has internal bias against the quirkless and thinks he's not good enough for mic so he cant make himself see the flirting for what it really is

“haha he’s just being friendlyL

“aizawa i literally want to marry u”

“awww ur so nice u mean as friends tho right?”

in this au ive decided that quirkless heroes are a thing, but pretty rare, in japan they are all underground bc villains go after them a l o t. there are some public ones in america but they tend to,,, die,,, pretty quickly

and bc there are some quirkless heroes everyone acts like discrimination isn't a thing anymore and quirkless people should shut up while quirkless people are still getting killed and committing suicide at like 500% the rate of people with quirks

also the suicide rate is,,,,, significantly higher in japan but no one ever talks abt it bc japan the “ideal place for people with quirks” so that surely means nothing could ever go wrong

izuku does the "its your power" speech in like 3 parts, before, during and after the sports festival bc he needs he bones w no quirk

stain asks izuku what his quirk is and izuku does the "wouldn't you like to know, weather boy"

",,, where are your parents"

"one abandoned me straight up and the other is giving it a red hot go right now, try me coward"

izuku but everytime he roasts a villain he does it in vine quotes

tl;dr in the au inko is like,, not ok w izuku being a hero and she's trying to do the "leave the school or you can't live here any more" ultimatum and it's not working for her

bc izuku said "ok bye then" and now lives out of his backpack. no one knows. he just like,, sleeps on the train

and iida is like "owo could i come over to your house" and izuku is like

"aaaaa its on fire. yep. made of arsenic and always in flames, why dont we go to the park"

everyone in 1a is like betting on what his house is like. they harass katsuki in 1b but he refuses to talk

hes like "hell no i got thrown into another class for talking ab that nerd eat my left tit"

they only fucking work it out when aizawa and allmight go to izukus house to talk ab dorms and there is literally no one there

aizawa asks izuku ab it like "kid you need to update your forms with your current address" and hes like "oh worm, she moved? wack."

“u,,,,didn’t know,,,,”

“nah lmao i sleep on the bench in a park near here”

“my boy,,,,,l

"what, ochako lives alone!"

"yeah, in a fucking house, kid"

aizawas just: this is literal child abuse i’m ur guardian now

allmight "hes my kid too dont be greedy"

"fuck off all might you already have mirio" "and you already have shinsou!" nighteye, from around the corner "ill take him!" aizawa and allmight "NO"                                  

mic adopts him nezu just sitting in the distance "well, its my school. i get the kid" one whole school full of adult heroes "NO ITS MY SON,,," izukus like crying "wait,,, you guys aren't sick of me? wild" while sobbing

afo out of nowhere: i’ll take the child :))) everyone collectively: N O

for self-indulgence, izuku is the youngest in the class for this au so they all call him their little brother

consider: quirkless aizawa is very similar to normal aizawa but he does practise self-care, he just tries to make it look like he doesnt because hes like that

if i dont take care of myself ill never be able to stand up to the heroes w quirks but also do i deserve normal good human things

tl:dr: he can cook well and is trying to teach izuku that 2-minute noodles and apples arent hero fuel

inko is like: "uwu i wont change what i cook for you so you'll just have to make do owo" in like, a pathetic attempt to get him to stop training so izuku runs off protein bars, electrolyte drinks and raw vegetables

just like, his bento at school. its only raw mushrooms, spinach, tomatoes and 2 full carrots

the only time he gets like a kinda valid balanced meal for a hero in training is when he pops by bakugous place and mitsuki forces him to stay for lunch

izuku is like "oh hi bakugo i have ur book-" "HI ITS LUNCH GET IN PIPSQUEAK"

hes just thrown into a chair, bakugo isnt even confused. izuku is like ",,,, so vlad gave me your book bc your house is near mums." "fair enough. hope you like miso salmon"

izuku just looks stary eyed

"f i s h ??? warm food bakugo id kill for you"

"deku wtf"

"i had nothing but 3 scoops of protein powder and 2 tomatoes today"

“dEKU WHAT THE FUCK”

"i had to eat the protein podwer with plain water kacchan. protein sludge followed by two raw tomatoes. i would commit real actual murder for you"

mitsuki always packs an extra bento after that

so like when it’s dorm time izuku gets rly stressed out bc he doesn’t know how to cook for himself??? bakugous in the 1b dorms and even if he wasn’t he definitely wouldn’t cook for him

1a goes on a fucking shopping trip, chaperoned, obviously

and they’re lining up and aizawa sees that izukus cart is only filled with like??? instant noodles and like two (2) fruits and he’s losing his mind bc yes okay he’s a child but he’s also a young hero and he’s going to get a heart attack by 20 if he doesn’t fix his diet

aizawa is like "izuku, you cant eat that" and izuku just goes "oh ok" puts the noodles back and comes back with a tub of protein powder and like 11 vegetables and a bag of kale

okay this is an improvement kinda, how do u cook it

,,,,,c

cook?

izuku just has a totally blank face

"i was just gonna like,,, eat it"

"raw."

"uh, yeah, is that not how u eat vegetables?”

"thats a potato. and some leeks. thats a fucking onion"

"it wont kill me though"

"thats,,, that not how you pick food kid."

“but vegetable??? good????”

"kid do you even fucking like any of this"

"wait, im supposed to like?? my food???"

yagi in the fucking health food isle hearing this is 50% laughing but 50% crying

aizawa: “izuku ur supposed to eat a well balanced and tasty meal”

izuku: *surprized pikachu face*

please even todoroki is like ",,, at least fuyumi could c o o k"

oh god imagine having a worse diet than shouto todoroki from 1a who eats nothing but cold soba and drinks juice

also please aizawa is like "kid i thought you just happened to be thin but now im seeing thats not the case"

bakugo in the distance "like inko ever fed him enough anyway lmao"

aizawa "WAIT WHAT"

whys bakugou shopping with 1a? its actually all 40 of the first years just descending on this poor little store. it’s this little mom and pop grocery store and a billion hungry hero hopefuls just burst through the door like 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒏𝒖𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒔

izuku is like "oh its too expensive" and aizawa is just holding a bag of rice, aizawa is like "its cheaper than the protein powder you have"

and izuku is like "yeah i mean its empty calories and im not paying that much for empty calories"

",,,"

"thats what you taught us sensei!"

"EMPTY CALORIES ARE ONLY A PROBLEM IF UR EATING TOO MUCH"

"and?"

"YOU HAVE 3 POTAOES FOR THE NEXT 2 WEEKS"

"i can put some back if you want?"

"THATS EXACTLY WHAT I DONT WANT"

[thecastlesystem]

10, 11 and 12? Also happy new year!

aaaaa thank you!! happy new year!!

10. On a scale of 1 to Soup, how dissociated are you right now?

i’m at a normal level right now, which is to say i have no idea who’s out or what’s going on because i have non-system shit to do oops,, so like a melted wax level i suppose. i can get through it, but everything’s kind of messy. 

11. What is your least favorite emotion and why?

(tw discussion of tic/stim suppression) oof, there’s a lot up there. i think out of all of them, i hate boredom, or more specifically doing nothing when i want to do something. there have been times where i’ve been forced to sit completely still and not make any noise for hours, and there’s this horrible pent up energy that’s a combination of adhd hyperactivity, sensory issues with no way to stim, and suppressing tics that makes me feel like i’m going to explode. i feel like if there’s one way to make me dissociate beyond anything else, it’s that. 

either that or rejection-sensitive dysphoria, especially when the person is actually mad at me. 

12. Talk about your experiences or intentions regarding integration and fusion.

integration is kind of difficult to talk about because it’s so delicate. most of our functionality comes from communication rather than the organic sharing of memories. tbh i, specifically, literally can’t remember anything at all. all i know is right now, and all ‘my’ memories get shuttled off to... somewhere? i know i was out for them, i know i was out for a lot of things, but my memory is so shit it’s just a haze (that’s probably because we have other memory issues as well as dissociative amnesia). 

also, our level of closeness is highly dependent on how much we care to communicate actively. there are quite a few of us who kind of just want to do their own things, and as long as those aren’t big decisions, it really doesn’t matter as long as the body is taken care of and our general life goals aren’t overhauled. it’s frustrating because we go from months of pretty good internal communication and feeling really close to being those people that aren’t really friends but are doing a group project together so it’s just like ‘hey, can you do this?’ [read 12:20 am]. 

i’ve found though that referring to alters as parts and treating them like different ‘versions’ (?) of the same person (”me”) helps a lot. it’s much easier with some than with others, since some of us are much more separate-feeling (eg: all the trauma holders, some of the kids - especially evie, angelica, whizzer, susan, webby) and we have a lot of more fragment-like parts. seeing ourselves as completely separate people who happen to share a brain and body kind of reinforces some of those barriers we’re trying to minimise. it is a goal of ours to have less amnesia, though i don’t know how long that’ll take.

as far as i know, no one has fused yet. we may have just not noticed, or because we’ve never known for sure, it might have happened and we just don’t know what it’s supposed to feel like. it’s not really an end goal for us, but if it happens, it happens. 

ok wow that was long sorry. 

[tumblunni]

Me in the hospital: i cannot sleep for 24 hours, the slightest noise is blaring, i am perpetually anxiety adrenaline

As soon as i get home: has the best sleep of my life

I usually take an hour to get to sleep each night but i totally just curled up like a snail and dropped into dreamland instantly. And i woke up to a nice warm house cos the heating turned on while i was asleep, and now all the anesthetic is completely worn off so i feel energized and great! And my throat pain has eased up so thankfully i wont have to be liquids only for as long as i thought. I was all hyperactive and cooked a great fancy omelette and it tastes like heaven itself! Its so weird how stuff tastes slightly diffetent when its the first time youve been able to chew with the right side of your mouth in five years. I guess the tastebuds on the sides of your tongue are slightly different? When i eat everything now im gonna be rolling it all over my mouth like WOW ITS ALL SO NEW AGAIN! Will probably look nuts in the middle of mcdonalds with my cheeks puffed like a squirrel XD

Oh and this is also a great excuse to drink loads of chocolate milkshakes from my milkshake viking mug! I feel so energized with calcium and yums!! EVERYTHING TASTES SO NEWWWWWWW

Oh man i do feel a bit sleepy again now after just being up for a few hours tho. I have these good jaw pain specific medicines i have to take for the next two weeks til my followup appointment to check if theres any infection left. But man i feel SO ALIVE AGAIN im pretty sure all the rot is gone! It feels so wild having space in my mouth and not constant clenchy tightness. It actually hurts less recovering from the surgery than it did before, lol! I can feel all my teeth moving apart again and loosening up into normality and the gums healing up all their injuries and oh god i just love how they cleaned out all the broken parts of my teeth and capped them with these great replacements that look so real you'd never be able to tell! My smile looks not ugly!! My smile looks not ugly!! Aaaaa! I just expected regaining the right side of my mouth, i didbt expect to e like "holy shit it must have hurt even more than i realized cos this feels so amazing now". Like i guess i got used to putting up with it and forgot how it felt to not have painmouth? Underestimated how good a teeth can be! And man i never asked for reconstructive cosmetic stuff too but they did these caps and aaa my teeth never looked his good even when they were new!! My front teeth were always crooked even before they did the weird balogna slam together and shattered into a pile of crap. And now they look like perfect supermodel teeth!! The only side effect is that its a lil hard to get used to the lack of gaps between them now after so long dealing with the shattered mess. My tongue keeps being like "oh no did something get stuck in the gaps again oh wait there arent any" and then i subconsciously try to clean them after taking every bite and just bite my tongue instead. Man i never noticed i picked up a bunch of weird mannerismd cos of tje bad teeth! I was constantly paranoidly checking my mouth 24/7 in case the slightest thing made it even worse, and eating super gently so that nothing accidentally touched the Wrong Tooth and set off a jolt of pain. And i actually needed to get a filling put in on the leftmost back tooth that was the ONLY TOOTH I COULD USE TO EAT WITHOUT PAIN for all this time! Overuse of it meant that it got ground down a little and probably would have become painful too if i'd left it any longer. Then i really would have been all soups all the time and that sucks!! Soups are good but nothing but then gives u stomach issues. The bad poops!!

Man sorry im rambling so much im just so hyper and happy and also still kinda dopily sleepy! Im not still delirious or anything i just feel the happy kind of sleepy where the anesthetic is all gone and its not "oh god i cant stay awake" and more natural sleepyness of a long day being over and everything being okay. I had such a good long nap and i feel well rested after getting so little sleep beforehand due to all the dumb anxiety. And i still feel dozey but happy doze~

Anyway its awesometo be able to really chug and crunch a foods! With the other side of my mouth i forgot about! And taste milkshake to its fullest extent!! Oh and whats weird is that the reconstructive surgery capping on my front teeth means that theyre kinda one tooth now? The caps are all linked in a single piece to fill the gaps fully without even the natural ones you'd have on healthy teeth. So its like a solid tooth guard just sculpted to look like three teeth. Itll be tricky to train myself out of thts subconcious rubbing the gaps with my tongue when theyre not even there. But i expect once i get over the unfamiliarity this triple cap will be really useful! Theyre totes reinforced so that even if i do get tight mouth problems again and the front teeth take the brunt of the pressure, now theres no gaps to smash into each other and become a painful mess. Its like scaffolding reinforcing my whole mouth by fixing the loadbearing beam, or something.

Oh also these pain meds make u a little bit more sleepy than normal paracetamol so i'll probably doze off again soon. But hopefully i will have slept off most of the "healing debt exhaustion" tomorrow and will be able to go walk down the shops and buy some icecream and other soft food. I mostly stocked up on purely liquid food cos i tjought my mouth function would be more limited. But honestly the teeth are working so much better than before, they were already so swollen and painful that i couldnt crunch stuff! Now the mild discomfort of mid-healing from surgery feels like barely anything and i bet i could bite thru a goddamn rock right now! I just cant really swallow crunchy stuff or stuff thats too salty or citrusy. I didnt even know about the stabbity throat pipe so i didnt expect it to be the most painful part that takes the longest to heal. It feels so weird cos i keep coughing like my brain thinks theres phelgm stuck in my throat when its actually a skin flap/blister from the insertion. So obviously that aint going anywhere and i have to try and force myself not to cough or swallow or else i set off this cjain of "must get thing out of throat must puke" reflex. And the pain feels like a sore throat but it isnt?? Its not really inflamed ot anything its just an actual friction burn on the opening of my airway. Which is not a common occurance so the brain is justvlike "what the fuck is happening, must send all contradicting signals at once!" So sore throat medicine wont work cos that goes down your throat passage to your stomach when really this lil skin tag blister thing is in the lung throat opening thing. And sucking on throat sweets made it worse cos all the muscles were really tense around the area where the tube was inserted, hence why it was hard to swallow food even tho it was my windpipe that hurt. And sucking on something is kinda like perpetually swallowing nothing, when you think about it? Im glad that the muscle tenseness is mostly gone now and the painkillers are helping with the ouch, and my brainis getting usedto not coughing and making it worse. But still should eat soft easily swallowable stuff for a lil while and it'll be fun to go aroundthe shops with my last pocketful of change and find neat ingredients to stick in omelettes. Im so excited to taste all my favourite things in new HD functional mouth power!!! And i can smile at the shopkeeper!!!

And oh man i really do think that my sleeping problems with stiff neck and that kind of 'bloodrush to the head' migraine were indeed part of the bad wisdom teeth bleeding internally under the gum. I thought it had to be that cos nothing else in my life changed around that time aside from getting a better and healthier bed which should have been beneficial to my neck. And even going back to sleepong on the floor like before didnt make a difference so it definately wasnt the bed! And it kept getting worse while nothing was changing, and i kept trying different things like changing my pillows and headphones and cutting caffeine out of my diet and eating more salt and eating less salt and fuckin ANYTHING ELSE cos i knew if it really was the dumb tooth being infected then there was nothong i could do about it til my surgery day arrived. Itd be such a relief to know for sure that it was indeed the tooth and now that nonsense is gonna be gone forever! But also thats really worrying to know that it was getting so bad it could have spread an infection to my jawbone and the top of my spine if itd been left much longer. I kept sneezing up blood lumps like the size of a fifty pence piece! Had never had nosebleeds for a decade and now suddenly all the time! God it feels so good to be able to lay my head down and not feel all woozy and tense im the forehead or neck. I really hope this good neck untenseness continues and the awful aches really were just the tooth. But everyone in the hospital was so nice that i think even if i do need a second surgery to check for jaw infection then id be able to be less nervoud than i was this time

Man do u ever get that thing where youre so peaceful and contented that like you can breathe easier? Like subconciously taking bigger breaths and the middle of your chest feels slightly puffed out and warm. I guess thats what the "heart leaping in yout chest" idiom is meant to refer to, lol! Or maybe i can just literally breathe easier cos the tooth pain might have been passing into my nasal cavity too, lol. My entire head feels so less tense!! Its like all my bones were rebelling against me and now they're at peace again!! Man i feel so giddy happy like i chugged a giant energy drink or something but its the opposite its a good sleeps drink XD

So im gonna go lie down again and have a relax and watch a movie or something and see if i pass out when the medicine kicks in, or if its not too bad and i can still continue my hyper mood. But my nap was so long that its too late to go to the shops now anyway so i'll just make more plain omelette and milkshake if i get hungry. I mean it doesnt taste plain when all my sense of taste is so amplified likethis! I dont mind if its all i can eat all week. PURE MILKSHAKEY DECADENCE

Aaaaa im just so happy!! I missed my chance to get the new. Kingdlm hearts but ive beenwaiting fkr this surgery for ages too and it feels like just as much of an exciting relief!

[kouyurii]

stupid kuroo >:(

They, in turn, pack Kuroo off with herbal drinks and soup on Sundays, insisting that cafeteria food isn’t nutritious enough

gosh haruhi is so sweet omg her basically becoming friends with kuroo's grandparents 🥺

He's said clearly to his high school team that you're not his type, yet he gives you tickets to his games, follows you on your runs, lends you his scarf, winding it around your neck when you're cold. He confuses you to no end. 

fjksjfksbfsknfjdns awh poor haruhi feeling like she's overthinking things aaaaaa

He looks good like this, rumpled hair, amber eyes glowing lazily, smiling at you. You need a moment to calm your racing heart

THE PINING 🥺🤧 i wanna see his pov so badly fjskfhjssj

A junior of mine should be joining next year, it'll be more fun. He’s planned to move here too, since it’s the closest dorm to the literature faculty.  You'll like him, I think. From his choice of university course, he's as mad about books as you.

oh???? definitely not tora, unlikely to be fukunaga or kenma,,,,, akaashi maybe??

He sits up. “You’re not moving back to the dorm next year?” You wonder if you’re imagining the note of disappointment in his voice.

KUROO FKSHFKSBFKSK JUST TELL HER YOULL MISS HER

haruhi realising kuroo was nervous and trying to comfort him (even if she did get snarky at the end) 🥺🥺🥺🥺

“Someday”, you say wistfully. You can’t help but think about Kuroo, yet again. (oh heart, why thou thus.)

okamoto-san asking her about her love life and her mind IMMEDIATELY going to kuroo im sobbing

You growl, but you’re taken by surprise when a large hand shoots out, pins you against the wall opposite the room. He reeks of alcohol and sweat, and it’s already unpleasant, but what scares you most are the red rings around his eyes, the harshness of his breath as he looms, large and heavy against you. 

aaaaa i had a super bad feeling about this part when i first read it 😭

(you have your castles in the air, too far above in the sky for anyone’s eye to see, but in this case you don’t mind bringing them into the ground). You nod eagerly, delight suffusing warmth in every inch of your body, opening your mouth to say yes, please when - 

Loud cackling cuts your thoughts off. “Eh, Kuroo! You gotta kiss her to finish your dare!” 

(your castles crash into the ground)

heart is in a million pieces rn fkshfkdbfksbfjdbs poor haruhi i wanna give her the biggest hug😭💔

her getting so excited only to learn it was just a dare 🥺

kuroo deserved so much worse than that slap honestly i would whack him on the head and in the ribs with my shinai :<

He’s made his choice, shown you who he truly is. He’s chosen, and it clearly isn’t you. 

haruhi my poor bb :((

“Wasn’t it supposed to be funny? Laugh, asshole. Laugh!” “Princess, I’m - ” You hate that your brain tries to convince you that there's remorse in his eyes. There isn't. 

heart breaking all over again 🥺

(you only see red, the colour of blood, oozing from a fatal wound) 

fjksjfksj WAIT was this a reference to the earlier line about the color of his shirt being the red of a dried wound :o

It’s only in the shadowed solitude of your room that you allow yourself to fall apart, because then, only then would you allow yourself to admit that you really liked Kuroo Tetsuro. You liked the way he gave no ground when he teases you, the quickness of his brain, his too-satisfied smirks, his genuine smiles.

🥺🥺🥺🥺 her admitting she liked him this much and that she maybe even loved him 😭

im crying again skfjskjfjsjs

He’s not the shining prince you dreamed he might’ve been - he’s a blackguard, a knave, the villain of your story with a lump of coal for a heart. You were wrong to trust him, you were wrong, you were so, very, very wrong - 

haruhi regretting ever trusting him im literally so sad rn :(

Kuroo Tetsuro truly is a menace to your heart. He’s broken it cleanly into two.

kuroo you fking jerk 😭

castles in the air: chapter 4 

chapters: one.// two.// three.// four.// five.// six.// seven.// eight.// nine.// ten.//

pairing: kuroo tetsuro x f! reader 

genre: uni romantic dramedy, angst 

wc: 3.1k

warnings: drunken shenanigans, assholes abound

summary: kuroo is your pain in the ass classmate. nothing more. really.

Exam season is far more brutal than winter. 

The roads may be slick with sleet, the sun’s time in the sky grows shorter and shorter, but that bleakness doesn’t compare to the mind numbing hours spent cramped up in a seat, either in the library or your dorm room, trying your best to cram as much as you can before the dreaded week of exams. You aren’t alone in making offerings at the altar of grades, because Kuroo’s similarly burning his hours in pursuit of perfection, snapping at your heels. 

“I want to die”, he complains, lying headfirst on your bed.

“Die, then”, you reply, resisting the urge to brush his hair away from his forehead.  

“Alright”, he agrees amiably. “Promise me you’ll explain to my grandparents that I’m deceased because of grades -” 

“So you’re making me break their hearts?” you snort. “Rude.”

You’ve seen his grandparents a few more times since, because he lives a few bus stops from you, and you wave to his grandparents when they insist on picking him up from the bus stop, never mind that he’s their strapping adult grandson. You start to pick up little titbits for them before you both make the trek back home, dried cod flakes, beef jerky, black beans packed in tiny individual packets for obaa-san to bring out on her morning walks. They, in turn, pack Kuroo off with herbal drinks and soup on Sundays, insisting that cafeteria food isn’t nutritious enough for either of you. 

Even the New Year’s break doesn’t earn you much of a respite, despite stealing a couple of hours to hang out with your high school friends. The chance encounter with Kuroo at the diner throws your heart into further turmoil, your thoughts mired in quicksand, revolving around the question of his feelings for you. He’s said clearly to his high school team that you’re not his type, yet he gives you tickets to his games, follows you on your runs, lends you his scarf, winding it around your neck when you’re cold.

He confuses you to no end. 

Keep reading

[rinovarka]

questions questions game:

rules are: if you get tagged you gotta say the rules, answer the questions, create your own questions (11) and tag 11 others so the cycle can continue. so I will tag people, but only answer if ya want!!

so the questions by @epoint25…

1. favorite scene from any movie

…I am racking my brains to remember BEST EVER SCENE but I cant?? Im at a loss??? Maybe the end scene in Dreamwork’s “Home” where Oh gives the “stone” to the Gorg, and explains why the Gorg wanted it so much?? I also love the scene in El Libro de la Vida where Manuel has to deal with the giant skeletal bull…any Cinderella movie the scene where Cinderella is able to leave her abusive fam forever…

Favorite scene in any text story (as I feel these more deeper) are

a)IDW Trypticon in Transformers:Salvation, his end…I only read this is TFWiki (as I JUST read the entire TFwiki on My Son just now) and…Trypticon across all Transformers series has been created for hate and destruction and has never had a say in his like…and the fact that he gets the opportunity to be free and…I cried….

b)scene in the book called “The Rapture Effect” where….basically, the AI, called “Core” in the story is trying to stop a war between an alien group and humanity, and eventually just…has an emotional breakdown and feels so bad about mistakes they made and feels alone and stressed, so two main protagonist humans help them out…and one of the humans have the same kind of insecurities and???? Its an amazing book okay, a recommended read, (though it has some rly drawn out tension and 0/10 female characterization,0/10 use of the diverseness of characters, needs a rewrite bc it has so much potential)

c)How to Train Your Dragon book series, not just a scene but…the whole arc with Furious, and Hiccup growing…aaaaa!!! (please read the series)

2. movie or tv show sequels or spin-offs that you think were a mistake.

…I am also at a loss again??? Can’t think of one rn sorry???

3. do you have siblings, if so do you get along with them?

I have an older sister and brother, I have an ok relationship with them, not as close as I suppose people “normally” have tho…

4. are you a city slicker or a farmboy (boy in this case being nongender specific)?

I live in the suburbs BUT if I had to choose…and its a close call…farm! I love to garden, ( I grew okra this summer, and am trying to grow kale, salad, and swiss chard!), and love the countryside nature. I love city too tho….

5. what was the best grade for you? elementary? high school? College?

Definitely college. In each grade, I ALWAYS had some existential crisis, especially in college, and social anxiety! BUT…I can deal with those crises better than I can with school drama and social circles. In college, aint nobody care about what you do! So, my last two years in high school, I WAS in college at the same time, and hOO boy I would make a storytime about senior year problems!

6. what’s your comfort video game? what do you play to relax?

…I don’t play video games, sorry!

7. who is your favorite actor, and what did you first see them in?

…I don’t particularly care for movies or celebrities tbh XD

8. which do you like more: marvel, dc, dark horse, other?

…dont murder me but I do not like either at all XD. I can not care for the superhero genre if my life depended on it! THOUGH, @eoscomic, @heartstoppercomic , @rejectedprincesses, and @iguanamouth sometimes makes cute comics that can be…weird? in a good way??

9. are you a fan of the transformers? if yes who’s your fav? if not, what is your fav robot\alien tv show-movie-comic-what have you?

…mmmm I have mixed feelings about Transformers…basically, I like certain concepts and characters in various series and know what generally happens in a good amount of continuities, but in no way would I sit down and read/watch a whole series…and I find it hard to talk to people in fandom and feel like people don’t like what I think, so I guess I am not a fan?? Maybe?? pseudofan??

Favorite characters….you cant make me choose just one…Trypticon, Metroplex, Astrotrain, Sunstorm, Skyfire, Starscream, Soundwave, Hound, Huffer, Tracks, Cosmos, Omega Supreme, Kappa Supreme…many I cant think on top of my head aaaa!!!

If you like having your feels ripped out of your limbic system, and sentient robots, watch Brave Police J Deckerd.

10. favorite yankee candle scent\flavor

I have SEEN Yankee Candles before, but I don’t buy candles. My sister buys Bath and Body Work Candles, and I think they smell good!! Dont remember the smells I like, though I remember there was a tomato vine scented candle and it smelled like hell…

11. can you cook? what can you cook? if you can’t cook what food do you like above all else?

I love cooking!! I am taking a culinary class next semester!! I CAN cook, but am not the best admittedly…I am allergic to dairy, egg, and abstain from high fat and pork…I wish I could bake decadent vegan desserts but ??? how??? (I settle for Cinnaholic cinnamon rolls and other rare vegan delectables…)

I like making Tinola (chicken soup with ginger, chayote squash…I add ripe papaya to it) and garbanzo bean coconut curry! If I can’t cook, I’d love to get chicken from Thai BBQ, sushi/poke bowl, or El Pollo Loco. Due to nostalgia, my top favorite food of all time is Beef Gyudon from Yoshinoya, which is sadly not in my state!

Questions for yall!

1) Nostalgic food?

2)What are two seemingly different YouTubers/artists/etc do you like??

3) Side dish: rice, pasta, bread, or potato??

4) 2d animation or 3d animation??

5) Song that is currently stuck in your head/on repeat right now?

6) What is one relatively unknown piece of media/story that you wished others would know about?

7) Steampunk or cyberpunk? (other punk?)

8) Are you inclined to science/math or social sciences/art/humanities?

9) Space or the ocean?

10) Cartoony art style or detail art style?

11) Giant robot friend or small robot friend?

@epoint25 @redacted-metallum @roboops @scotsdragon @bloodsweatandpreciousmetals @astro-femme @freeflighttemeraire @zerodestiny169 @phasesixes @brokeneisenglas @tracks-and-raoul