#brain because he is s o fucking gay in my brain that it genuinely did not compute lol)

[ghostiboos]

Hey does anyone have any idea what this phrase I saw on my dash is supposed to mean? I broke down the grammar and everything but I’m still confused :/

[chocos-universe]

we NEEDDDDD more lee! SCM an ler! Guy Business ficsssss >:3 /not forcing

As you wish, dear!

NOT AGAIN!!

___________________________________________

--Suction Cup Man!! It isn't the weekend!! Guess he forgot about what happens...--

___________________________________________

|Lee - Suction Cup Man -- Ler - Guy Business|

___________________________________________

There goes that Suction Cup Man again! Climbing up Guy Business's tower on a THURSDAY!! The audacity! This happened three weeks ago! Guy Business SURE thought he knocked some sense into that little brain of Suction Cup Man's! Here we go again...

"HEY!!! The FUCK is with you and MY tower?!" Guy Business opened up the window in front of him and pointed at the culprit. "Oh, puh-LEASE! You're the only person I can get a reaction out of! Penny looked too sensitive and concerned last time me and her met anyway." Suction Cup Man explained in defense, shrugging. "You mean that time when you became Penis Man?" Guy Business crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow. "We--..." Suction Cup Man started before fumbling over his words. He eventually gave up trying to find an excuse and just whined and rolled his eyes. "O-Oh, fuck you!" "No! Fuck YOU!!" "And fuck you RIGHT. BACK. you fucking grandpa!!"

Guy Business gasped before stomping his foot. "YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!" Guy Business clenched his fists and glared at SCM. "No! Make me!" "Don't you DARE challenge me, you suck up!" "Now that--... sounded a little kinky." SCM stated, his arms falling to his sides as Guy Business and him made an awkward eye contact

There was a pause.

An extremely.

Long.

Pause.

"...Bitch what?" Guy Business finally broke the silence in a very concerned tone. Suction Cup Man grumbled slightly "I--... I mean it did! Didn't you hear yourself when you said SUCK?? I mean... like..." Suction Cup Man did weird hand motions that just made Guy Business more pissed off. "You say suck all the time! Especially because of your..." Guy Business cut himself off, trying to think "y-your... um... i-idiotic... gay... s-suction cups!!" That was an absolute HORRIBLE insult. Yet, Suction Cup Man took it offensive and gasped, putting his hand on his heart "OH, YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!" "No!" Suction Cup Man scoffed. Oh wait, he knew how to piss Guy Business off more! Let's see how far this can go...

"Hey, I wrote ya a song!" Suction Cup Man announced, pulling out a guitar. "OH... NOT AGA--... ... where the fuck do you even get those?" Guy Business asked, genuinely confused. Suction Cup Man just rolled his eyes before clearing his throat. "It goes a little something like this..." Suction Cup Man inhaled...

"*Guitar Strings* You're a bitch!"

"Oh, not another one of your so--" Guy Business's sentence got cut off by more guitar playing.

"Oh, you're a bitch, a bitch, a bitch, a bitch, a BIIIIITCH!!! *Harmonica Solo*" Suction Cup Man sang before flipping off Guy Business

"W-....Where did you even--" Guy Business shook his head, getting his mind out of the topic "Ugh! Doesn't matter! I'm getting TIRED of your bullshit!!" "Still out of window cleaners?" "I--... no!"

"...Really now?"

"Okay, fine. I am. B-But that doesn't mean you can just c-climb my tower because of it!!" Guy Business stuttered, crossing his arms. "Pff, lame-o!" Suction Cup Man laughed. "Stop laughing you fucking twit!!" "Pff! Make me!"

"OH YOU FUCKIN LITTL--..." Guy Business took a minute. Oh, wait... yes... that's it... Guy Business chuckled darkly, catching the annoying ones attention. "Well then..." Guy Business smiled sinisterly, closing the window. Suction Cup Man gulped slightly. "Wh... wha?... ugh... what is he--" He got caught off by the window next to him opening and being grabbed by the shirt "SURPRISE ASSHOLE!!" Suction Cup Man got pulled in the building, the window slamming shut as Guy Business pushed/pinned SCM to the wall "Hello, again!" Guy Business said innocently

Suction Cup Man squirmed a little. "Wh-What kind of gay shit is this?!" Suction Cup Man struggled as Guy Business sighed in annoyance. "For the last time, I'm not gay. You're just a kinky fuck." Guy Business smirked at Suction Cup Man's offended face "N-Nuh uh!" Suction Cup Man huffed as Guy Business chuckled, a bit more lightly now. "So, remember the last time this happened?" "No?" "Thought so." Guy Business sighed. "Need me to re-jog your memory?" "NO--" Suction Cup Man tried to push Guy Business away from him, but no luck. Even if he didn't know what it was, that doesn't mean he should trust it! "Here... lemme just..." Guy Business said softly, poking Suction Cup Man's belly. "EEP--" Suction Cup Man squeaked, covering his belly. Oh, wait... that's what happened. "W-wait... c-come on, man! You--... you know it was a--..." Suction Cup Man gulped as he saw Guy Business's menacing grin "...j-joke..." He squeaked and melted down as Guy Business wiggled his fingers

"Wait-- wait-- wait wait WAIT!!!--"

And the room was full of bubbly child-like laughter.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! N-NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!! N-NOT AGAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAIN!! *hic*" Suction Cup Man tried to pry Guy Business's hands off of his hips but to no avail. "Nope! You asked for this! I'm very surprised you forgot about this~" Guy Business chuckled, digging his thumbs into Suction Cup Man's hips, earning a shriek. "EEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEK!! O-OH COHOHOHOHOHOHOME OHOHOHOHOHON!! P-PLEHEHEHEHEASE!! I'M SOHOHOHOHOHOHORRY!!" Suction Cup Man snorted and just buried his face into Guy Business's chest to muffle his loud laughter, making Guy Business chuckle. "D'awwww.... is someone flustered?~~" He teased, shooting his hands up to Suction Cup Man's underarms. "EEP-- SH-SHIIIHIHIHIHIHIHIT!! GOHOHOHOHOD DAHAHAHAHAHAMN IT!! NOHOHOHOHOHOHOT THEHEHEHEHERE!! *hic*" Tears poked out of the corners of SCM's eyes, his face redder than a shiny apple! "You're SUCH a child, huh?" "NOHOHOHO I'M NOHOHOHOHOHT!! *snort* AH FUHUHUHUHUHUCK!! *hic*" Suction Cup Man couldn't even speak clearly at this point! He just kept his face buried into Guy Business's chest and laughing uncontrollably as tears rolled down his cheeks. "Y'know..." Guy Business started, squeezing down to Suction Cup Man's ribs. "I haven't heard a stop yet~" Oh, WHY did he have to mention that?! His face was already a shiny red tomato!! It just got REDDER if that was even POSSIBLE!! "OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH, SHUT YOUR M-MOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOUTH!! *squeal*" his reaction just made Guy Business chuckle slightly. "Admit it. You like this~" "NOHOHOHOHOHO!! I DOHOHOHOHOHON'T!! *hic*" "Oh? You don't, you say? Sighhh... guess we're gonna be here a while, h u h?" Guy Business squeezed Suction Cup Man's belly and sides, making it worse. "SHIHIHIHIT! OH NOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!" Suction Cup Man squealed and clung onto Guy Business for support to NOT fall down. "Well? Are you gonna admit it?" "NEHEHEHEHEVER!!" "Alrighty then!"

Literally 5 Minutes Later

"OKAY! OKAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAY!! I LIKE THIS!! I LIHIHIHIHIKE THIHIHIHIHIS!! JUHUHUHUHUST STOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOP BEING AN AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHASS!!" Guy Business chuckled. "Alright, alright!" Guy Business stopped, holding onto Guy Business so he didn't tip over. "You okay?" Guy Business asked as Suction Cup Man didn't answer for a moment. "Hehehe... *huff* y-yeheheah... yeah... I--... ihihim fihihihine... ehehehe..." SCM took a big inhale than every long exhale before clearing his throat and standing up straight

"Asshole." "Twat." Suction Cup Man rolled his eyes, crossing his arms like a baby. "Learned your lesson?" Guy Business asked, opening the previous slammed window. "Mhm..." Suction Cup Man packed up his things and flew out of the window with his parachute.

As Guy Business was about to close his window, GENTLY this time, he heard Suction Cup Man singing his "You're A Bitch" song in the far distance. All he could do was let out a breathlessly chuckle and gently close the window

What another eventful day.

🤍End🤍

[your-turn-to-role]

so, since i've failed at getting into c3 so far (i've tried, it's just yet to be my kind of story), i've decided in lieu of my liveblogging, each week i will be posting a one sentence summary of the episode based exclusively on what everyone on my dash is freaking out about, regardless of how relevant it is to the episode!

the list so far:

episode 3 - bertrand is fucking dead

episode 4 - s h a d o w b a k e r (who is 100% Not Essek)

episode 5 - "pretend that this is kith and kin, because both liam and i forgot to bring it-" "-both promised to bring it-" "-both forgot!"

epiosde 6 - 🎵 HEY THERE DELILAH WHAT'S IT LIKE IN LAUDNA'S BRAIN🎵

episode 7 - revenge of chetney chocolatecane poc o pea!

episode 8 - dorian's brother is a himbo

episode 9 - moon lore just dropped??

episode 10 - i think the party intimidated their way out of a problem but it's hard to tell because there's a shadowgast time loop au now

episode 11 - my whole dash is one art of the nightmare king, chetney is a werewolf, and matt's figured out how to counterturtle!

episode 12 - is it marwa time i think it's marwa time

episode 13 - ~masquerade ball~

episode 14 - everyone forgot that dorian wasn't a permanent cast member and they would like him to stay pls??

bonus one shot! - how many horses can one party stack!

episode 15 - no dorian :(

but also we're bell's hells now motherfuckers

episode 16 - mind condom

episode 17 - laudna in tlovm confirmed

episode 18 - imogen's blue now. that's her attack.

thursday 31st march - we've had first exu what about second exu?

episode 19 - one gold and a lime

episode 20 - new nordvpn, laura has new hair, and an incredibly deadly heist through a gift shop?

episode 21 - i cast yassify

episode 22 - oh my god did they actually get a response back from vex?

episode 23 - is travis actually making all these things out of wood?

episode 24 - imogen is bald now and erika's playing a hot elf

calamity break - brennan's here to destroy the world and it's the best written thing anyone's ever seen

episode 25 - new intro!!!

episode 26 - orym is Gay and erika ishii is Up To Something

episode 27 - erika's hot elf is evil and even hotter (also not an elf)

episode 28 - fearne lore time

episode 29 - [S] CR Fandom: Mental Breakdown

episode 30 - m o o n  l o r e  j u s t  d r o p p e d [bass boosted edition]

episode 31 - "i was waiting for the riegel shoe to drop" ~taliesin jaffe, c2e48

episode 32 -

episode 33 - somehow the queen is the least relevant person to die today

episode 34 - the true monster in laudna's head wasn't delilah briarwood it was fandom discourse

episode 35 - ashton confirmed spoonie, thank you taliesin for as always giving me personally the representation i didn't even realise was possible

episode 36 - deus vox machina

episode 37 - genuinely i think the delilah fight was so cool and i didn't even watch it

episode 38 - HE LEFT THEM A SKYSHIP AND A COOKIE RECIPE

episode 39 - i don't know what happened this episode but im glad travis is fulfilling his werewolf dreams

episode 40 - fearne put your hand up

m9 two shot! - THREE. PACTS.

episode 41 - it's been almost exactly one whole campaign since the last time members of the party got super fucked up on something they shouldn't have eaten, so it was about time!

episode 42 -

episode 43 - everyone desires planerider ryn carnally

episode 44 - i wanna say amateur porno in the basement. i really do. but unfortunately ludinus is up to some bullshit

episode 45 - turns out he doesn't keep a ledger... he has a kenku... so... we kidnapped the kenku

[tonya-the-chicken]

I wrote this post some time ago as a reply to someone and now I somehow want to post it again with some changes lol

TW: mentions of murder, referenced canon abuse and swearing

Let’s talk about redemption arcs and people’s overwhelming desire to punish fictional characters for what they did... Inspired by Endeavor hate ngl... I mostly speak about fictional charcters in this post so pllease, don’t go dumb and understand that fictional characters and irl people should be treated differently

I think sometimes people don`t understand why punishment exists in our society at all. Like, why couldn`t we just forgive? Why punishment is needed? Oh, I would like to talk about behavioural psychology, but it is kinda creepy so instead let`s remember what my teacher of LAWS said(idk what you call it in your bitchass America)

Punishment basically serves two functions:

Preventative (show others and a person that they can’t just get away with their deeds). Like, if you knew that there are no negative consequences, wouldn`t you do it? Wouldn`t you kill the old lady?

Correction and all work with a person in general (for example, you can be forced to go through some psychological help)

Also, I lied there’s one more: compensation. Like, if you stole something, then bring money back, you little shit. Or pay for therapy for your victim

So when we put it into stories and so popular nowadays redemption arcs (which I fucking adore if they are done correctly) we have 4 points out of this 3 cause the first one can be put into two

Character is punished to show others that this is not something you should do (it’s a kinda societal thing and has nothing to do with character in particular. This point in general is not interesting because it doesn’t drives changes in person by itself)

Character is punished so he himself would think twice before doing this shit again (we can’t know if person’s remorse is genuine so it’s better to simply scare them. But I can allow skipping this point if person’s remorse is clealy shown to be genuine and we as readers understand that. That’s probably the big distinction we, as readers, should see: while irl we never know persons true motives, work of fiction can provide them to us clearly)

Character changes and understands what is wrong in what he has done (the part of redemption we all love and enjoy)

Characters work hard to correct or atone for their mistakes

As we can see first two bullets has nothing to do with character development and serve for the purpose of maintaining order. The third one IS a character development and the last one is what makes people actually forgive horrible actions and not go ape shit I guess. But for some of us nothing is enough, isn`t it?

And there is one more shit that is often in redemption arcs and that shit is great and I fucking love it

Explanation of the character’s behaviour, their reasoning and motivation

I truly enjoy reading about WHY characters behave a certain way but people, remember, SAD BACKSTORY IS NEVER AN EXCUSE FOR YOUR ACTIONS. Same goes to your mental problems and hard life situation. The fact that behaviour can be explained doesn’t mean shit. Like, behaviour also follows certain laws and despite the fact that it’s sometimes hard to understand all the details we still theoretically can explain ANY BEHAVIOUR. Does this mean we can excuse any behaviour? HELL NO

So remember folks, “They had their reasons to do this” means nothing most of the time. “I wanted to try how it feels” is actually a valid reason to kill someone, you know. Of course, if crimes is not severe, reasoning suddenly can be very important like we won`t punish harshly someone who stole bread cause he is starving or cause he has kleptomania (I mean as a literal disorder). But even in that case you must pay back money cause like stealing is bad but eat the rich

let`s talk examples from bnha cause why not

Endeavour

We have Enji oh my baby you have done so much stupid shit you dumbass. Sad backstory even if will be brought up in the future, currently is not a focus of redemption at all. Like, he even doesn`t explain his behaviour too much. “He want to be the strongest, so he decided that even if his genes will make it to the top it will be enough. As a result,  blinded by his goal,   he abused his family”. Basically, it`s all the explanation we have right now. And if Hori stops at it I will be fine with it. Honestly, as much as I want to learn more about Enji’s past if Horikoshi leaves everything at this I would give him nothing but mad respect cause... This kind of shows that your reasoning doesn’t matter that much if you did horrifying things

So 3 points to redeem someone

Enji didn’t suffer any punishment for his actions (nightmares are considered punishment only if you believe in God. Also, too weak, God, try harder... And same goes for High-End). When I think about him being punished I actually worry about society’s reaction cause, like, he is number 1 hero and the fact that he’s an abuser will be, like, very shocking to simple people.Trust in hero will fall harder than my will to live during 2020. And honestly, media would just turn this into a drama possibly hurting other members of his family, like.... Enji being legally punished for his action would be an interesting plotline but in general I am not a fan

We see his genuine remorse and character growth. We all agree that he even is drawn differently now changed and trying to become a better person, yeah? Clumsily at first, but he genuinely works hard to be a better peron, hero and father. I can respecct that

Compensation… Well, you can exactly “correct” trauma so he should pay up for psychologists for each child he probably should follow the path of atonement and try to give them something he robbed them from. Like, go to family dinners with Fuyumi even though every last one of them is a disaster and nobody is happy to be there. Or make everything possible to provide Rei calm life with her children (like building a new house, yes, this is an amazing thing) or at least become *reducted cause I wanna this post to be serious and SFW*... Tbh I have nothing to say, he himself says multiple times that he seeks nothing but atonment, not even forgiveness

So like you better work bitch to make your family happy bastard... [And tbh they seem so much better then when I first wrote this post, I am so proud of you, my garbage fire man]

Overhaul

In no way is he redeemed but somehow people put Overhaul and Endeavor stans in the same category so here he goes

Kai has something Enji doesn’t: very good and detailed explanation, a plan, a smart reasoning. His wrong deeds were basically for a better good he believed in. But we all collectively hate him for what he done to Eri despite his actions having r E A S o n S. Dude has some MOTIVATION. So like yeah bros. It makes him an interesting character and he is an amazing villain but dude deserves to rot in prisons. He shows no remorse and I am gonna bet he won`t even think about somehow helping others. Dude is a shitty person. And I fucking love him

So let’s go for our 3 bullets again

Punishment. Yes, he is punished, he is in jail with both his hands cut off. Would it make people forgive him? Nah

Personal growth. I would like to see it but as far we saw barely no growth... Though maybe being in jail without quirk will make his brain work

Atonement... Dude has a Messiah complex, I ain’t waiting for that anytime soon

So I asked myself if I had two men: one who spent a sentence in jail for child abuse but is more or less the same person and another who wasn’t punished for his abuse but feel genuine remorse and actively try to make things better who will I choose? Of course, I will choose Pikachu

But is it possible to redeem Overhaul? I wonder if there`s a force in this world strong enough to make him become a better person. Welp... I am a sucker for redemptions, justt letting you know

All for One

Oh, he is irredeemable (and this is sexy). Why is he here? Cause, well

Even if he is punished there`s no punishment severe enough to describe how horrifying his deeds are

Even if he is to feel remorse… he has like 500 years or something??? And he didn`t feel anything killing people??? So why would he change today?

Even if he atone for what he’s done… I am to believe he started at least a civil war. You can`t atone for that bitch. You crossed all fucking lines, all fucking lines

AfO is literally the most evvil man in bnha... I don’t want to see him redeemed cause I love characters that are pure evil and I love the despair of realizing you can’t fix what you have done. Though you are free to have a different opinion! Who knows, maybe Horikoshi will make a classy redemption for him and I will scream out of excitement? Cause I am that kind of bitch??? Who knows! I just love to think Doctor Ujiko is gay for him

Anyway, why do people like to make this characters suffer? Like, Endeavor, Minoru, Overhaul, many others? Is this part of the “punishment” to feel like person paid for their deeds? Or do people just like fictional violence and punishing “bad” characters make them feel good about themselves? Who knows

I have no idea what this post is about I want to sleep and I like Enji though if you dislike him this is fine. I hope it was interesting reading this, love you all bye

Don’t kill me for my controversial takes, I am depressed

[girlbookwrm]

It’s here! At last!  THE MIGHTY PRE ENDGAME REWATCH CONTINUES, WITH:

AKA IS IT MY BIRTHDAY? YES. YES IT IS.

(or it was at any rate, it took me Some Time to get this all typed up because holy fuck it’s long. looks like i’ve got Some Feelings about The Winter Soldier. WHO KNEW)

ANYWAY, if you’re wondering what the hell this is all about i’ve been rewatching all the marvel movies (and commentating on them) in preparation for Avengers: Endgame and NOW IT IS TIME FOR MY FAVORITE ONE

I got @goteamwin​ and @pegasuschick​ here IT’S A PARTY! WE GOT COOL RANCH DORITOS AND BRAINWASHED SUPERSOLDIERS LET’S DO THIS.

Day 912: i still miss the old marvel logo

LISTEN THIS IS THE BEST OPENING SCENE IN MARVEL HISTORY FIGHT ME.

“~on your left ;)~” honestly? iconic.

God Bless Steven Grant Rogers and his Smedium Shirts.

Steve, known bisexual disaster, is hitting on Sam here. this isn’t even in question, right? Sam’s quip about “making me look good to the girl at the front desk” was a soft rejection and Steve takes it like a champ.

Important to note: the black widow uses emojis in her text messages. 

Also important to note: Sam Wilson hits on the Black Widow because he flies into combat at 100 miles per hour wearing a tee-shirt and dad jeans he fears nothing not even death itself

also also important to note that The Roommate went to see this movie by herself, low key cosplaying as Fem!Cap. she did this in part because I had gone to see it first (i was in the UK at the time, and it came out over there before it came out in the US. ~IRONY~) and as soon as I got back from seeing it (i had low-key cosplayed as fem!Hawkeye. it’s a long story) I emailed her and was like O HAI U SEEN DIS? U WILL LIKE IT. ~and she dii-iiiiiid.~

every time i see this scene now, i hear that bit from the gag real.

cevans: Kill the engines. wait for instructions. *whining and stamping his foot* cuz i’m in chaaaaaaaarge.

Being asked about your dating life and then immediately jumping out of an airplane is a Big Mood

I would like us all to appreciate that steve put a nice matte stealth finish on his patriotic dinner plate, special for this mission. 

Also, we’re all agreed that Steve kills at pool, yeah? Give me Steve being a pool shark at the local watering hole plz n thank.

Steve: *punches a guy through the shield*

The Roommate: but why does he punch that guy through the shield?

Me, having a Terrible Thought: Maybe one time he accidentally punched through a guy’s face and ever since then he uses the shield as, like, a buffer when he wants to take people alive.

The Gal Pal: WOW. YOU WENT THERE.

parkour!

~Hey Sailor ;)~

that one guy working for Batroc really needs to lay off the steroids, or whatever is giving him this Unnecessary Rage. You know the guy I mean.

love how batroc is jchilling and then WHAM! IT IS I! AMERICA!

ON! VA! VOIR!

did he learn this from Dernier? he learned this from Dernier.

The Gal Pal: that is a ridiculously huge flash drive

Me, Just Now: overcompensate much?

Nat’s little eyeroll after Steve says “you’re damn right”

The Roommate: Nat is So Tired of Steve’s Drama™. And now she’s going to have to deal with his cold shoulder the whole flight back, and she’s going to have no one to talk to but Rumlow and uggghhhhhh

Steve comes into Fury's office and Damn. Dat Ass.

The Roommate: They know what they're doing here.

eyyyyyy tony’s in this movie (kinda)

I love that Steve just like, drives around with the shield on his back. 

Enter The Smithsonian.

The Roommate: I! LOVE! THIS! SO! MUUUUUUCH!!!

Me: Gee sure would be nice to be able to go to a smithsonian right now.

*american sobbing intensifies*

The Roommate: what is the timeline here? does he come straight back from the mission into yelling at fury? and then straight here?? Is Steve just like “oop time to go look at my old stuff and Emote”? Is this his routine??

buckyyyyyyyyyyy

listen yall know the extent of my BuckRogers feels but every time they pull out that compass i develop a terrible case of The Steggies.

“It’s just not the same” ha ha kill me.

~So Dramatic ;)~

“Steve?” HA HA HA KILL ME

Fury’s Computer:

At This Juncture The Commentators Would Like It Noted That It Has Been 23 Solid Minutes of Stuff We 1000% L O V E and everyone’s favorite brainwashee has not even appeared yet.

but he’s coming

s o o n

Also, we all hate Alexander Pierce but he is a great villain and also Robert Redford might be an older fella but he can definitely still get it heyooo

Steve is so awkward here. But like, imagine him actually going to one of these VA things, like everyone’s all “ied this, helicopter that” and steve’s just like “so one time in ‘44 i punched my way into a panzer”

The Roommate, Who Is Sometimes More Evil Than Me: ~NOW IS AN EXCELLENT TIME TO REMEMBER THAT RILEY WASN’T IN A PLAAAAAANE~

at this moment, the DC driving types lost their goddamn minds.

“WHAT IS THIS? WHERE IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE? WHERE, IN WASHINGTION, THE DISTRICT OF GODDAMN COLUMBIA, IS THERE THIS LITTLE TRAFFIC, HUH??”

“You wanna see my lease?” i c o n i c. 

Did you know that SLJ was an actual Black Panther? I did not know this, but as soon as the Gal Pal told me, i was like “oh yeah that checks out.”

meanwhile, the couch based road rage continued all around me.

“This part of DC ~DOES NOT EXIIIIIIIIIIIIST~”

“Traffic alert? on the Roosevelt Bridge? Yeah in other news WATER IS WET.”

“wait is he getting on 66? ARE YOU GETTING ON 66?? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???”

“Have you ever even been on 495?????”

HE’S HERE!!!

just like, damn gurl, u make that highway ur catwalk. 

Me: What the hell kind of laser pointer do you have there, Nick?

The Gal Pal & The Roommate: It’s A Lightsaber.

The Roommate: So is this just like? An Average Day In The Life Of Captain Rogers? Get up, go for a run, annoy a veteran, fly to the other side of the world, kick ass, fly home, talk back to a superior officer, drop my priceless shield off at home, go emote at a smithsonian exhibit, have my heart ripped out by my nonagenarian ex, go flirt with annoy a veteran (part two, now with added Feelings™) go home, get rejected by my neighbor, CHASE A FUGITIVE.

JUST ANOTHER DAY! IN THE LIFE OF STEVEN GRANT ROGERS!!

honestly his neighbors must hate him

that’s why Sharon’s his neighbor, everyone else LEFT.

The Biggest Flash Drive

Let’s Not Forget, that because she is undercover as a nurse, Sharon probably just kicked that door down with crocs.

YOU’RE WELCOME

let’s appreciate that the Soldier’s theme music is just SCREAMING and also you should know that every time it comes on, the Gal Pal and I start SCREAMING. not, like, in an “oh we’re excited” way, just, like, the way you sing along to the theme song of your favorite TV show, you know?

PARKOUR!

The Roommate: good job with your eyeliner there, buddy. You Did Your Best.

The Gal Pal: That Is Dupont Circle and Steve is Extremely Gay. 

(yes, we know he’s bi.)

Natasha really should know better than to believe that Nick is dead.

THAT IS THE WORST PLACE TO HIDE THE FLASH DRIVE

The Gal Pal: genuinely, it’s such a bad hiding place it stresses me out.

The Roommate: Yeah, what was he thinking? I mean, was his logic just that no one likes that gross bubblegum?

Me: UM WHAT?

The Gal Pal: EXCUSE YOU THAT IS BUBBLE YUM.

The Roommate: ... yeah but it’s the gross bubblegum flavor?

At this point we lost a few minutes to divide into Pro and Anti Bubblegum Camps and then had to run the movie back because we missed:

~Neighbor ;)~

i c o n i c

The Roommate: Sir. Stop Having That Face. That is Illegal.

(she is having A Difficulty. The Difficulty is cevans’ jawline)

But seriously: What actually happens in this scene? We are all Steve and we all want to punch our way out of this confusing conversation.

God that face/those tits/that ass tho

Young Man. You Stop That.

THE ELEVATOR SCENE. I mean how many movies can say that some of their best scenes happen in an elevator? That alone is a real accomplishment.

They’re all ~soooo casual~ and then there’s rollins, who isn’t even trying. “records.” These WWE wrestlers are not going to records, come on.

at this point we stopped commentating except in inarticulate whoops of delight and shrieks of glee. except for one brief aside

Me: This scene is so sexy, but like, not in a sexy way? Like, the fighting style isn’t that “oooo I’m fighting in a sexy way” it’s just, it’s so...!

The Roommate: Primal?

and I regret to inform you all that yes, she is 100% Correct, it is indeed sexy in a primal way.

“whoa big guy”

i just.

that’s all i got on that

tiny turtle of freedom

we had the subtitles on, and it just says “woman screams” Screams in what? JOY? 

It’s raining men! Hallelujah!

“Stand down, Captain Rogers! Stand! Down!

Captain Rogers: *accelerates*

They’re being made to watch social media so what I want to know is which poor SHIELD guy got stuck monitoring tumblr?

“oh we’re getting all kinds of hits but uhhhhhhhhh they’re not......... pertinent..............”

why doesn’t The Biggest Flash Drive have a cap? it is now full of crumbs. it’s full of crumbs, guys. if it’s going to be that big it should at least be one of those cool slider ones.

“Are you calling for my resignation? do you know who i am? Bitch I Am Robert Redford.”

Apple Store Aaron. “hey guys why’s your flash drive so big??”

“yeeeah. we’re getting married.”

Honeymoon destinations -- where are you going?

Steve: (without thinking, reads the first thing he sees) New Jersey

Steve: *dies a little inside*

Steve: *forgive me bucky for i have sinned*

I love that they’re coming out and Steve is 100% tactical brain and then Nat’s just like “put your arm around me and laugh” and when it works Steve just looks back over his shoulder like:

oh my god it worked???

sPyING is WitCHCraFT?????

“was that your first kiss since 1945?”

“That was not my first kiss since 1945,” said Steven Grant Rogers, Who Is Definitely Lying, and Furthermore, Is Fooling Exactly No One.

Sidenote: Ship and let ship, obviously and always, but I love Steve and Nat as BROS too much to ever see them romantically, The Bromance Is Strong With Them.

it’s been said before, but it’s worth saying again

Steve: kind of hard to find someone with shared life experience.

Bucky, ten minutes later, wearing bondage gear: HELLO IT IS I

SKINNY STEVE!

of course he memorized the army regulations.

Listen. The cell phone trick Bugs Me™ and the only thing that lets me get through it is the idea that they cleverly cut around natasha standing there for 40 minutes trying out every possible permutation of those numbers, with possible duplications.

I like the idea that Computer!Zola has been building this little fanvideo since the mid-seventies and he’s just! so excited! to show it to someone!

Steve punching the screen is another Big Mood.

“even captain america and the black widow can’t survive a missile Directly To The Face” BITCH U THOUGHT

it’s nice that they give bucko a kirk light here

~u want some milk? ;)~

honestly, what the fuck even is that line.

they made Robert Redford say that line.

what does it mean

YOUNG MAN! THAT IS! ILLEGAL!

altho tbh i want a slightly grubby Steve in a tank top to give me a pep talk, like, every day. that would be fine.

The Gal Pal, A Curly Haired Individual: hhhhhhhow did Natasha straighten her hair. This makes me So Angry.

Me: I mean, I like to imagine her with Sam’s Iron and ironing board, just like *mimes frantically ironing hair with a Very Soviet Expression*

Fort Meade is the best scene that isn’t in the movie.

Aw Gary Shandling’s here. Awwwww Gary Shandling...

Sam, are you intimidating this guy or flirting with him?

To Those who remember the Potato/Gremlin Scale, I propose a third option, a kind of venn diagram situation going on, where the third option is Fey Creature. Sam is neither Potato nor gremlin, but he might be a Fey Creature.

God I love this scene.

LOOK AT SAM HERE: No armor, no flightsuit, no fucking knee pads no goddamn helmet just Casual Dad Falcon, Suns Out Guns Out.

Steve: What the fuck’s an SAT.

he’s coming.

*SCREAMING*

he’s here.

is it murder or is he modeling?? “you got this Soldier, make ‘em wait for it... Boom.”

this is the greatest fight scene of all time, honestly. This and then the fight scene in the first RDJ holmes movie are the Only fight scenes i can even remotely stand to watch. Except maybe some of the bending battles in ATLA. but this scene. this is top of the list. it’s just. *kissy chef fingers*

Soldier strolling along not firing his weapon because he has no shot and he is a Child of the Depression who don’t waste no bullets.

only loses his cool when Widow Breaks his stuff.

Sam Wilson: Brings a pocket knife to an automatic rifle fight and wins.

“go, I got this!”

aw yeah you do

THAT STRUT™

Soldier strolling along the street. so bored. could be home watching project runway.

That thing Soldier does with the arm Does Things to me for reasons that I choose not to examine too closely

ANYWAY WE DON’T HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL OF THAT.

“who the hell is bucky” wow there Soldier you went from Full Russian to American Accented English awfully quick I Wonder Why

Soldier’s reaction to confusion is to Immediately Shoot and honestly that’s a Big Mood.

We are all agreed that the only reason SHIELD succeeds in taking Steve in is because

look at that face

steve’s not here right now, please leave a message.

More DC Area Rage: “WHERE IS THIS DAM? WHERE??”

natasha y r u surprised that Fury is alive?

oh noooooooooooo it’s time for this scene

OHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO

Robert Redford to James Buchanan Barnes: You are a literal treasure.

OH NO OH NO OH NO

The Roommate: yeahhhhh this was maybe an. inappropriate scene for me to have to see in a theater. alone.

I love that while they’re making this ridiculous plan (yeah it’s ridiculous, i don’t care) Fury has to check in with Sam (WHO HE HAS LITERALLY NEVER MET BEFORE) presumably to just touch base and be like “Is this White Nonsense™?”

spoiler alert it is not White Nonsense™, but it definitely is Extra™

DAT JAWLINE THO. of course he’s giving the orders, LOOK AT THAT JAWLINE

LIL STEEB!

I’m with you to the end of the line.

what kind of marriage vow nonsense is that

jesus.

anyway, Sam comes in like: IT IS I! YOUR BEST FRIEND! YOUR BEST FRIEND IS ME NOW!

poooterrrr!!

This is the second secure government facility that they have broken into. Possibly the third, depending whether you count the bunker.

Dem Asses. Seriously. Everyone in this shot has an enviable ass. *distinguished golf clapping* bravo

“~Excuse us~” i c o n i c

God, Steve gives this speech and then we get sam’s reaction and you can physically see him having a sexual identity crisis and honestly BIG MOOD THERE, SAM

I have questions about the effect of this on the potomac river which has already had a hard enough time and does not deserve this Supervillain Nonsense.

you are ON FOOT steven. it is a FLYING AIRCRAFT CARRIER and you are ON! FOOT!

i’m so mad that it works too

mad, but like, also turned on. duh.

what’s cap’s true superpower? DRAMA

The saddest thing in this movie is that Jenny Agutter is Scarlet Johansson

don’t get me wrong, i like scarjo but this movie would’ve been even better if it wasn’t the black widow and was just a badass old british lady.

The Roommate: Sam’s superpower is that he’s the sane one.

Me: He flies into combat at 100 miles per hour with a jet pack and a tee shirt he is not the sane one.

The Roommate: Sam’s superpower is that he’s the emotionally balanced one?

Me: given the aforementioned armorless airborne combat situation that is highly fucking debatable my dude.

*SCREAMING*

HE’S HERE

let’s appreciate that Bucky is definitely flying this quinjet with a dead guy that he just murdered as his copilot.

i don’t know why that is so badass to me but it is

again, we don’t have time to unpack all of that, moving on.

Nick Fury: BITCH YOU THOUGHT

sidenote: i’m gonna really enjoy coming back to this movie after Captain Marvel. I can just feel it.

Maria is so casual about this. And that is an extremely sexy thing. I’m not sorry.

“Hey Sam, I’m gonna need a ride.”

Sam is still learning Rogersese and does not know that this means “I ALREADY DID THE STUPID THING PLEASE COME GET ME.”

Bucky ripping the wings off a beautiful butterfly

because Sam IS a beautiful butterfly.

except now his knees and legs and ankles are all broken because That’s How Bones Work.

he’s here

lol of course he’s got a knife.

I just love the sounds the arm makes.

butwedon’thavetimetounpackallofthat

the slide Bucky does here, this isn’t combat this is voguing.

Steve fights like the world is his barroom, bucky fights like the world is his catwalk.

“DON’T YOU TALK TO MY DAUGHTER LIKE THAT,” Nicholas J Fury

what’s the found family version of a BroTP? I have that for Dad!Nick and Adopted!Soviet!Assassin!Daughter!Natasha.

found familotp? FFOTP? no, that sounds like some kind of tactical asset. “LAUNCH THE FFOTP”

anyway, get on this tumblr, i want at least 10 options on my desk by monday.

This Extra. He could honestly make a living playing Confederates and Klansmen, you know which extra I mean.

“wHere ahre the tahrgets?”

the targets... is we.

A DC Local Aside: Everyone on 495 is So Tired of this nonsense. I sincerely hope they all remembered to pee before they left work. I hope they have snacks and water in their cars. because they now live on 495.

this shitshow is gonna fuck up our already extremely fucked up traffic patterns for yeeeeaaaaarrrrrssssss

Sam’s a born quipper, so i really like it when he sees the helicarrier coming down and just fucking bolts. NO TIME FOR SASS WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE

“Got a location on Rogers?”

Don’t know where he is, but he’s doing something stupid, i Guarantee It.

“you know me.”

“nNOo I dOn’T!”

Oh Steve. You put that shield down So Often. And you keep having to fucking pick it up a-fucking-gain.

And This Was The Moment When We All Realized That We Were In Trouble.

Big Mood, Bucky. Big Mood.

Sam wasn’t on the approved visitor’s list or anything, he just winked at one (1) nurse and they let him in.

i know just what to say it’ll annoy him so fucking much. “on your left.”

“Why haven’t we heard from Captain Rogers?”

Because he is taking a damn nap.

no but seriously, because if we put him in front of a camera right now, you will get the Talking To of the Century.

*eight hours later, congress is crying, hydra has surrendered, fox news is shutting down, steve rogers is still going strong* “AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON STUDENT DEBT!”

~cool guys don’t look at congressional meltdowns. They drop the mic and they walk away~

IT WAS CLEVELAND, IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING.

THEY FILMED IN CLEVELAND.

(they did film some in DC, obviously, but also cleveland.

*emoting at exhibits intensifies*

*SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*

in sum i have been typing for Too Long and I’m going to hit post so i can Go To Bed but there may need to be Corrections in the morning who tf knows

[thegreatwhiteferret]

I Won’t Hesitate No More, I’m Yours

Summary: Bill wants to keep his relationship with Richie a secret from the other Losers. Richie just wants to jump Bill's bones, but he settles for being a sweet boyfriend instead. 

A/N: For my Anon who requested Bichie being in a secret relationship, and Richie being a sweet doting boyfriend to show Bill he cares, and Richie smut. Lots of Richie smut. I am sorry that it is late, but I hope you love it! 

Obviously NSFW, so it’s under the cut. 💖💖💖

Richie was jumping out of his skin. He had officially had Bill all to himself for three weeks and he couldn’t tell anyone. Bill fucking Denbrough. The stud among mere mortals. Baseball star and all around average everyday superhero. He had also been Richie’s best friend since they were in Kindergarten, and Richie had had a crush on him for almost as long. They were now seniors in high school and Bill was all his.

Obviously Richie absolutely adores Bill, which makes restraining himself around the others an absolute fucking nightmare. He understands why Bill is apprehensive about telling them. Richie has known that he’s gay since he was in elementary school. He thought George Michael was pretty when all of the other boys were fawning over Madonna. It wasn’t that hard to figure out. Bill was different. He was straight laced, had dated Beverly for a while and then had a few other sweet girlfriends, emphasis on the girl. Richie had been shocked when Bill had hauled him up in his arms and kissed him for the first time, so he can only imagine how the other Losers would react when they found out that not only was Bill not straight, but that he had a thing for none other than Richie Tozier.

He understands. He really does. That doesn’t stop him from wanting to hold Bill’s hand in the hallway. Or wrap his arms around him at random times, or kiss him in public. He really just wants any form of physical affection. He craves it.

Richie knows that he has to be patient. That Bill will come around to coming out. He can handle the waiting for physical affection in public, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t be a super sweet and caring boyfriend in other ways.

The Losers usually attend Bill and Stan’s baseball games as a group. They do the same with Mike’s football games in the fall. They are a family and support each other as much as possible. It’s not unusual to find Richie sitting on the metal bleachers while the Varsity Derry Baseball team is playing. It is however unusual that rather than making lewd jokes and chain smoking with Bev, Richie is one hundred percent focused on the game in front of him. He cheers unironically, even though he has to ask Mike about the proper terminology and to explain what some of the calls on the field mean, because that guy’s foot was totally on the base first, how can he be out? He cheers for Stan when he throws a good pitch, and complements Bill on his powerful throwdowns to second base. He also really loves seeing his boyfriend’s ass when he’s squating down in his catcher’s position. Richie damn near loses his mind when Bill hits a grand slam and cements Derry’s win over West Lake. Ben and Mike cheer along with him, but Bev and Eddie think that there is seriously something wrong going on.

“Rich, are you feeling alright?” Bev asks, pulling him aside while the other Losers walk down to the dugout to wait for Stan and Bill.

“Yeah, Bev. I’m fine. Just feeling in touch with my school spirit and the good old American pastime today.” Richie gives her a big goofy smile, and she playfully punches him in the arm. They rough house as they walk over to meet the others, laughing the whole way.

“W-what’s so f-funny?” Bill asks, a wide smile etched on his face, positively glowing from the victory.

“Nothing much, just telling this one that I think I have come around to liking baseball.” Richie winks at Bev who dramatically rolls her eyes. “Hey, congratulations though Big Bill, and Stan the Man of course. You were on fire out there.” He is thankful that he threw Stan in there instead of all of his focus being on Bill. He’s got to keep his cover.

“Y-you like b-baseball? As m-more than a t-time to goof o-off with B-bev?” Bill raises his eyebrows in question, wondering what his boyfriend was up to. Richie slowly nods, sweet smile on his face. Bill is shook. “M-maybe we c-could go to the b-batting cages l-later? You c-could show m-me your s-swing.”

“That could be fun. I’d like to mess around with some balls.” He deadpans, and Bill almost chokes on his saliva.

“Okay, what the fuck is this? Invasion of the Body Snatchers?!?” Eddie squawks. He snaps his fingers in front of Richie’s face. “Richie? Richie, is that you in there? Blink twice if your brain is being held captive by some alien race.” It’s Richie’s turn to roll his eyes, and they head to Mike’s truck. Bill and Richie sit in the bed, and Bill lets him rest his head on his shoulder as they ride to the diner for shakes and burgers.

He counts it as a win, and later on Bill drags him back to the batting cages and they make out for a long time. Richie’s legs wrapped around Bill’s waist and back pressed into the metal fencing. Richie leaves with messy hair, kiss swollen lips, and a few seriously impressive hickies on his neck. Bill looks just as disheveled and that’s a win too.

At lunch the next day he makes sure to save the seat next to him for Bill. It irritates Eddie who usually sits there, but Richie claims it’s so Bill can proofread his essay for English while he checks over Bill’s Trigonometry homework. Eddie finally relents, and Bill smiles when he sees that the seat is open for him. They help each other with their work and bump their elbows together, loving the contact, even if it’s small. Bill splits his giant chocolate chip cookie with Richie too, which definitely means that this is love.

Richie is incredibly advanced and intelligent when it comes to both science and mathematics. He loves the concrete formulas that aren’t subjective. Bill does not love these subjects as much, he excels in the humanities  courses.  Richie checks over his homework and corrects it for him when he needs Bill’s help with an English assignment, but Bill thinks that he needs some actual tutorials. He mentions this when they are all working on homework in the library one day.

“I can help!” Richie volunteers immediately, drawing more eyebrow raises. He’s not known for volunteering to assist with other people’s problems very frequently. “What? I like math. It makes sense.” He says shaking his head.

“I would really appreciate that, Rich. I can help you with something for your Lit class in return if you’d like.” Bill offers.

“I think I’m squared away with that right now. Mrs. Jenson has finally given up on the Shakespeare crap and come to the more contemporary side. I’m sure we can figure something else out that I need help with, but I’m genuinely good with just tutoring you.” Richie is flipping through his physics notes so he doesn’t see the looks from the other Losers, Bill shrugs his shoulders in response to them, acting like he doesn’t know the motivation behind Richie’s offer. He just figures that Richie is being nice, they’re all a family he would do it for any one of them.

Richie ends up staying the night at the Denbrough house, because it is so late when he has finally managed to drill Soh Cah Toa into his boyfriend’s brain. Richie is flopped with his face in one of Bill’s pillows when the other boy comes back from getting ready for bed in the bathroom. He smells like minty toothpaste and face wash and clean laundry, and Richie flips over so he can look at Bill when he comes over to the bed.

“D-do you w-want to borrow a s-shirt and p-paj-pajama pants?” He asks already pulling a shirt out of his dresser.

“Just the shirt, Billy. I can sleep in my boxers if that’s okay. I don’t want to add to your laundry.” Bill nods, throwing the shirt to him and sliding into bed. Richie doesn’t bother going to the bathroom to change. He unbuckles his belt and jeans and slides them off of his legs. His boxers are black and red plaid like a lumberjack, and he loves them. He slides his flannel off and then his t-shirt. He can feel Bill’s eyes raking over his body from where he’s lying behind him. “Like what you see, Denbrough?” He asks, and turns to wink before sliding Bill’s way too big t-shirt over his head. Bill blushes.

“S-so. I think I k-know how I c-could make it u-up to you. It d-did take y-you a long t-time to help m-me.” Richie cocks an eyebrow at him, he was serious when he said that it wasn’t a problem at all.

“Bill. I don’t need you to make it up to me. I got to spend time working on my favorite subject with my favorite person. I’m good. It was no trouble.” Richie shrugs, but Bill looks pensive, like he’s trying to put words together.

“C-can...can I b-blow y-you?” Bill looks up at him through his eyelashes and Richie could have busted a nut right then and there.

“Whaaaat? Bill are you serious? We’ve never done that before, you’ve definitely never done that before period. You really don’t have to.” He rambles, but Bill is already pulling the covers off of Richie’s hips and working his boxers down. Richie is already getting hard, he strokes himself a few times to get his dick the rest of the way there, Bill watches the whole time. “I’m serious Bill, you really don’t have to.”

“I w-want to t-try.” Richie nods and props his head up as Bill leans forward. The first swipe of his tongue is tentative. Careful. He brings his hand up and begins jerking Richie off a bit, they’ve done this before a few times. They usually stick to making out, but Bill gets handsy when he’s had a bit to drink, and Richie just really likes making the taller boy cum..

Bill slides the head of Richie’s dick in his mouth, tonguing the underside a little, and then slides his mouth down Richie’s length. He can’t take him in all the way, but the wet heat of Bill’s mouth and the twisting pleasure of his hand jerking what he can’t take has Richie spiraling. He bites his fist so that he doesn’t moan out too loud, and let’s the pleasure take over his body. It might be Bill’s first time giving a blow job, but it is breathtakingly amazing. Richie can feel his orgasm building and he taps Bill on the shoulder.

“B-Bill. I’m gonna cum, you need to pull off.” He moans, but Bill stubbornly keeps him in his mouth. He can’t hold on any longer and then he’s cumming into the heat of Bill’s mouth. Bill sputters, choking on the abundance of jizz, and Richie feels awful. “Oh my God, Bill are you okay? I should have insisted that I pulled out.”

“I-it’s o-okay.” Bill coughs out, “It w-was just a-alot.” Richie blushes. And ducks his head down a bit. “W-was it okay f-for you?” Bill asks sheepishly.

“Fucking. Amazing. You’re a Goddamn natural, Denbrough.” He pecks Bill on the cheek. “Did you want me to return the favor?” Bill nods frantically, and Richie gets to work.

Pizza is one of Richie’s most favorite things in the entire world. Particularly pepperoni pizza. He could definitely eat a whole pie by himself. The Losers usually cut him off at four slices until everyone else is done eating. They’re all in Ben’s basement watching a movie on VHS, lounging around and eating pizza. Bill’s mom calls, and he has to run upstairs to make sure that it’s not anything important before he gets to have a single bite of pizza. Richie notices that there is only one piece of pepperoni left, he brings the box with him over to where he and Bill were sitting but doesn’t open the box. This time it’s Ben that questions him.

“Are you planning on eating that Richie, or are you just going to stare at it?” He asks, taking a bite out of a piece of cheese.

“Oh. No. It’s not for me. Bill’s favorite is pepperoni and there’s only one piece left. I figured that I would save it for him since he hasn’t gotten any.” Richie shrugged, distracted by the images on the screen.

“You’re saving a piece of you favorite food for Bill?” Mike asks slowly. It’s another very uncharacteristic thing for Richie to do.

“Yup.” He pops the ‘p’. Bill comes back down a few minutes later looking flushed. He slides two pieces of plain cheese on his plate before sitting down next to Richie.

“W-what’s this?” He asks, motioning to the pizza box next to Richie. Richie snaps out of his daze to answer.

“There was only one piece of pepperoni pizza left and I know how much you love it so I saved it for you.” By the look on Bill’s face you would have thought that Richie had just handed him the most precious thing in the world.

“Y-you save m-me the last p-piece?” Richie nods in response, why is everyone making such a big deal out of this. “Y-you are s-something else, R-Rich.” Bill smirks, and Richie feels warm and fuzzy about it inside. They don’t talk about it for the rest of the night.

Something is going on with Richie, Bill knows that the others are picking up on it too, he’s being so sweet. Bill’s never seen this side to Richie. He’s being more helpful to everyone, he’s more pleasant to be around, it’s been a big change since they...well since they started dating in secret. Bill knows that it has something to do with it, but decides that he needs to ask Richie to be sure.

They’re over at Richie’s house, his parents aren’t home, they’re never home but this time it’s been longer since the last time they were. Richie didn’t want to be in the house alone so he asked Bill to come over, Bill happily agreed hoping to get to talk some things out with the other boy. They’re sitting on Richie’s bed listening to music when Bill can’t take it anymore.

“H-hey Rich?” His boyfriend looks up from his notebook and waits for Bill to continue. “W-why have y-you been b-being so….s-sweet?”

“What do you mean, Bill. I’m not being sweet. Why are you and the others acting so weird. I can be considerate.” Bill raises his eyebrow, a universal sign to cut the bullshit. “Fiiiiiiiiiiiine, I guess i just like doing things for you. I can’t exactly jump your bones in public, on account of you wanting to keep our relationship a secret, but I still want to show you that I care...that I…” He drifts off, eyes wide, catching what he was about to say.

“T-that you w-what?” Bill inquiries, he’s not going to let Richie get away with cutting that thought short.

“That I...that I…” He’s stumbling over his words. “Ugh. Fuck you, Debrough! That I love you! There I said it, are you happy? I love you.”

“I l-love you t-too, Richie.” A grand smiles comes across Bill’s face. “C-can I s-show you?”

Richie nods. He’s been dreaming of this moment for twelve years. Bill closes the distance between them and presses a sweet kiss to Richie’s lips. Richie really leans into it, he wants everything that Bill has to offer. Bill swipes his tongue across Richie’s lower lip, asking permission, and Richie happily grants it to him. They fall back on Richie’s bed, Bill slots himself between Richie’s legs and lifts them so that his pelvis is pressing right into the crease of Richie’s ass. Richie can feel how hard Bill is through his jeans already, and he moans into the kiss at the thought. Bill reaches down and palms the bulge in his boyfriend’s pants. Richie feels tingly all over.

“Less clothes now!” He mutters out and Bill leans back enough to begin unbuttoning Richie’s jeans. Richie wiggles his hips so that Bill can pull them down, and then he kicks them off. Richie is tenting in his boxers, and he would probably be more embarrassed about it, but Bill is licking his lips just looking at it. Bill hooks his fingers in the bands of the boxers and pulls them down. He scrunches Richie’s shirt up until Richie gets the hint and pulls it off. He’s completely naked on his bed, legs spread and lifted to his chest, presenting his leaking hard cock and tight pink hole while his boyfriend stares hungrily at him. “You too Billy, you can’t fuck me with your clothes on.” Richie’s mind is tingling, his filter gone, and Bill groans at the bluntness of his words. He stands up from the bed and pulls his shirt over his head. Richie really wants to run his hands up and down Bill’s abs. He then undoes his own jeans, pushing them and his boxer briefs down. Richie’s eyes get really wide, he’s seen Bill naked before, but never like this, never with the possibility of Bill actually fucking him lingering in the air. Bill looks like a fucking Adonis, He’s all lean muscle, and so tall. Richie thinks that Bill standing there naked looking at him, is just about the most beautiful and perfect thing that he’s ever seen.

“G-god Richie. Y-you look so g-good.” Bill says, moving back to the bed. He’s back between his legs, this time when he presses his groin into Richie’s ass, Richie can feel his dick pressing between his cheeks. “What d-do you w-want, Baby?” Bill is less experienced in this field. Richie is the first man that he’s ever been with, he’s enjoyed the learning curve so far, but he’s terrified that he will do something wrong and hurt Richie.

“Gah, Bill. Can we...can we 69?” It’s the only time in his life that he has ever been completely serious while talking about that number. “And then, Billy, I want you to fuck me. I want you to fuck me so hard that I feel your huge cock for days.” Richie is whining. He wants everything all at once. Bill nods, he wants it too. He moves so that his hips and cock are hovering over Richie’s mouth and he’s positioned to take Richie’s dick in his own mouth. Bill makes the first move, he licks a stripe up the side of Richie’s cock, then swirls his tongue in the slit, collecting the beads of precum and moaning at the taste, then he’s taking Richie in, encasing his cock in wet heat. He pushes down until the head is hitting the back of his throat. Richie groans, and grabs handfuls of Bill’s ass. He uses this grip to lift himself up and slide Bill’s dick into his mouth. It takes a few tries for him to get warmed up enough for him to take his massive dick all the way in, but when he allows Bill to thrust down enough to slide into his throat slightly he’s rewarded with godly sounds. They pull each other apart with their mouths. Bill rolls Richie’s balls in his hand, and Richie thinks he will come immediately if they didn't stop. The student has obviously surpassed the master. “Baby, if we don’t stop, I’m going to cum and I won’t get your dick in my ass.”  Bill pulls off with a slurp and moves off of Richie.

“D-do you h-have stuff?” Bill asks, face flushed from the previous activity, the flush is spreading down his chest and Richie can see that his cock is red too, painfully hard and ready to fuck until release. Richie nods and pulls a small tube of lube out of his drawer, he stops and looks at Bill.

“Do you want to use a condom?” He bites his lip, he’s nervous. There’s just so much that they haven’t discussed, but he’s been waiting for so long for this, he doesn’t want to wait to have sex until they’ve had those conversations.

“I...I uh. I d-don’t know. D-do you?” Bill’s priority is Richie’s comfort, and he doesn’t know what to say.

“I want to feel you. All of you. I trust you, Bill. I love you.” Bill nods in agreement.

“I l-love you t-too, Rich. I w-want to make y-you feel so g-good.” Bill pulls Richie in for another kiss. Richie hands Bill the tube of lube and then flips over so that he’s on his knees and elbows, sticking his ass in the air.

“You’ve got to stretch me out good, Big Bill. That cock of yours is massive, I can’t take it without prep.” Richie glances over his shoulder, and sees Bill gripping the base of his dick with his eyes shut tightly. Richie giggles, and Bill is not amused.

Bill lubes up his fingers, and kneels on the bed with Richie’s ass right in front of him. He runs his fingers down Richie’s back to the top crease of his ass, he watches in aw as Richie’s tiny hole flutters at the sensation. Bill doesn’t know what comes over him, but he leans forward and licks a stripe right across Richie’s hole.

“Holy fuck, ahhhh, Bill, yes.” Richie cries out in pleasure and Bill does it again, letting the tip of his tongue enter the hole in a teasing way. Richie moans out again and Bill pulls back and circles the hole with his index finger, rubbing Richie’s ass cheek with his hand soothingly as he pushes in to his first knuckle. “Gahhh. Mmmm.” Richie thrusts back, taking the rest of Bill’s finger in. Bill laughs at Richie’s eagerness. “I swear to God Bill if you don’t start moving your fingers…” Bill starts thrusting his finger in and out, shutting Richie up. If only he had known years ago that it could be so easy. When Richie is getting really into it he adds another finger. Spreading them apart and loving the sounds he’s pulling out of his boyfriend. He rubs his finger tips on Richie’s walls until he finds the spot that has his back arching and curses tumbling out of his mouth. “Yes, Bill, yes, Jesus fuck. Fuck me. I’m ready. Stick that fat cock on meeeeeeeee.” He half whines, half moans.

Bill pours a generous amount of lube on his cock and spreads it around, groaning at the feeling of his own hand touching his sensitive dick. He flips Richie so he’s on his back.

“I w-want to s-see you.” He says bashfully, but Richie is giving him the biggest smile. He helps Richie hook his legs over his shoulders,leaving his hole wide open for Bill and presses the blunt head of his cock against it. Richie moans at the pressure, and then Bill is slowly inching in. He has to screw his eyes shut, the tight heat better than anything he had ever felt in his life. “H-holy shit, R-richie. You f-feel so g-ggod, you’re s-so t-tight.”

“Mmmmm, you fill me up so good, Big Bill.” Bill growls at the nickname and slowly pulls his dick out of Richie and then slams his hips forward. Richie’s eyes damn near roll back in his head. Bill starts gaining more confidence and momentum, rolling his hips into Richie’s ass repeatedly. “Fuck yes, ugh, yes, fuck ugh. Harder, Bill. Oh my God.”

Bill is getting close, Richie is absolutely mesmerizing. He reaches a hand in between them and gets Richie’s cock in his hand, stroking in time with his thrusts. It takes less than ten tugs for Richie to tumble over the edge with a shout of Bill’s name, tingles taking over his whole body. As soon as Richie clenches around Bill’s dick his cumming too, pumping his load deep inside Richie, only stilling his hips when he’s completely spent. He pulls out carefully,  still worried about hurting Richie. The other boy immediately makes grabby arms and Bill folds himself into them.

“W-was that o-okay?” Bill asks, feeling incredibly self conscious. He hopes that he was good enough for Richie.

“Okay? Bill, that was fucking amazing. You are fucking amazing. Like a sex God I swear, and you don’t even try!” Richie squawks.

“Y-you’re fucking a-amazing.” Bill says from where his face is tucked into the crook of Richie’s neck. “Y-you’re the s-sex God.” Richie laughs, and it’s a beautiful sound, one of Bill’s favorites.

“You’re only saying that because I just let you totally wreck my ass. I’m going to be so sore tomorrow.” Bill frowns, and Richie immediately calls him on it. “Oh hush. I wouldn’t trade the feeling for anything. I love you William Denbrough.”

“I l-love you t-too, Richard T-Tozier.” Bill smiles at him and kisses him again. He wants this forever, wishes that he had admitted his feeling to himself much sooner. There’s only one thing left to do. “H-hey Richie...w-what do y-you think about t-telling the o-others?”

“Really?” Richie’s eyes are wide, searching for some hint on Bill’s face that he’s joking or still has reservations, but Bill just nods. Richie attacks him with more kisses. They don’t have to keep it a secret anymore. Bill pulls away, and looks Richie right in the eye.

“I’m y-yours. I w-want the w-whole world t-to know.”

[juniperhillpatient]

Summary: What’s up gays check out this Reddie fan fic I wrote when I was drunk last night - modern AU, Benverly and Stike are also in this story a little bit - Halloween themed :’) Rated PG for makeout mentions and language - TW food and alcohol mentions 

***

"Nine days." 

"I know." 

"Bev." 

"Richie." 

"Nine fucking days." 

"I know this because you tell me how many days there are until Halloween every day." 

"What the hell am I going to do?" 

Bev sighed. She rolled her eyes so far back Richie was pretty sure she would soon spot her brains. "I don't know. Have you considered not being a huge pussy?" 

"Fuck you ginger." 

"Up yours, Trashmouth," Bev said without looking up from her phone, which was open to a DIY gore makeup Instagram account. She and Ben were going to Stan's party as Baby Firefly and Captain Spaulding because of course, they were because they just had to be so fucking cool, didn't they? 

Richie groaned and flopped back dramatically, laying his head on Beverly's lap. She was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian style, and her lap was very comfortable. He waited patiently until she began running her fingers absently through his curls. It was a comforting sensation, but it did not erase the fact that Halloween, his favorite Holiday, was in nine fucking days and he was not on speaking terms with his best friend in the world. 

Well. Okay. To be fair it wasn't so much a matter of "not on speaking terms" as "Richie Trashmouth Tozier is a huge pussy." That was how Bev put it anyway, and, as was almost always the case, Bev was not wrong. 

"You know," Bev said, still scrolling Instagram with one hand while running her fingers through Richie's hair with the other, "I was talking to Eddie yesterday and he said he tried to text you and you left him on 'read.' Real great job of showing you care Tozier." 

"I-" Richie tried to think of an explanation but one simply would not come. The truth was he had left Eddie on 'read' because he had known exactly what he wanted to say but hadn't had the guts to say it. 

When your best friend asks if you're going to the party another close friend is throwing, the natural answer is 'yes of course.' Richie, however, had chosen the rather asshole-ish and out of character option of not saying anything at all. 

He sat up, pretending to put his hair back in place as if she had messed up his already messy look. He walked over to her makeup mirror, staring back at his own bug-eyed reflection. "Eddie just doesn't get me, Bev," he said. 

"You are the wildest, most gorgeous thing I've ever seen! Nobody deserves you!" Richie declared in his very best Gaston impression while gazing at himself. He turned back to Bev and she was watching him and shaking her head. 

"Richie," she sighed. "I'm being serious. You're being a dick." 

"A real Richard huh?" Richie asked. Bev tried and failed not to snort. 

She shook her head. "You're something else." 

"Sure am." 

Richie opened up his phone and turned on "Gorgeous" by Taylor Swift which he had purchased on Itunes the moment it came out. He lip-synced the lyrics, dancing towards Beverly who was trying very hard not to laugh. She didn't succeed for very long. 

***

"I'm going to confront him." 

"What are you going to say?" Ben asked, fascinated, watching Eddie pace back and forth across his room. Youtube gamers were yelling in the background on Ben's laptop which was sitting on the dresser. 

"I'm going to ask him why he's been avoiding me!" Eddie said, throwing his hands up in exasperation. 

"Aren't you worried you're going to make things worse?" Ben asked. He said it in a sarcastic voice because he knew that for all Eddie's yelling about confronting Richie, it wasn't going to happen. 

Eddie glared at Ben, grabbing another handful of microwave popcorn from the bag beside the laptop and shoveling it into his mouth. "Gee. Thanks, Ben." 

"I don't think you should be too harsh on him. You never know what's going on in that kid's head." 

Eddie was glaring at Ben suspiciously. "You know something," he said.

"What? No!" The truth was, Richie had never opened up about his feelings for Eddie to Ben, but it didn't exactly take a genius to figure out. It didn't take a genius to figure out Eddie felt the same way. 

Ben knew a little about these things. He had, after all, been in a similar situation with Beverly for what had felt like an eternity. 

"Is he mad at me?" Eddie asked. 

"No," Ben said. "Not that I know of anyway." 

"He is, isn't he?" Eddie groaned. "Is this because I didn't want to try weed with you guys last week? Oh, my god, does everyone think I'm lame now? Because it's just with asthma-" 

"Everyone understands," Ben interrupted, hurriedly. He reached over and grabbed the bag of popcorn, taking another handful himself. "I seriously think you should just talk to him." 

"Too unrealistic, blocked," Eddie muttered, flopping back on the bed. 

"You're so extra Eddie," Ben said. "You and Richie both. Just talk like normal people." 

"No." 

"Text him right now or I will." There followed a brief scuffle between the two as Ben reached into Eddie's jean pockets and pulled out his phone. 

Eddie tried to take back his phone, but he was like an ant battling an elefant and Ben was soon holding the phone high in the air while holding Eddie down on the bed. 

"This is not a joke Hanscom," Eddie said, reaching for the phone to little avail. 

"Who said it was?" 

***

"You didn't," Bev said, stifling a laugh. She and Ben were swinging side by side in the playground. The sun was shining and autumn leaves drifted down around them. As she often did, Bev thought of the line that had started it all. 

My heart burns there too. 

She smiled through her lashes at Ben. He wasn't looking at her, he was staring off into the distance, possibly deciding if he had just ruined the friendship of two of their closest friends. 

"What did you say?" 

"I kept it simple," Ben shot her a grin. "Also Eddie was pretty much lunging at me, so  I just typed: 'Hey Richie, why the hell have you been ignoring me? I have a huge crush on you' and hit send before Eddie grabbed his phone back." 

"Who knew you could be so mischievous," Bev snorted. Ben laughed too. "But seriously," Bev said, trying to keep from laughing. "You don't think it'll ruin Stan's party, do you?" 

"What?" Ben asked. "If they're making out the whole time?" they both laughed. "Nah," he said, a little more seriously. "Look they're not going to fight or anything. This needed to be resolved. Think about us. If you hadn't finally snapped at me and gone off on me for being too much of a big baby to act on my feelings, I would've stayed a blushing idiot for the rest of our days." 

"You're still a blushing idiot," Bev said, watching color spread across Ben's round cheeks with affection. 

Still giggling, Bev climbed off the swing and went to sit on the bench nearby. Ben followed and sat down beside her wrapping an arm around her shoulder. She snuggled into him as a soft breeze blew past, chilling her. 

"Happy Halloween Bev," he said, kissing her hair. 

"Happy Halloween, Ben," she replied, resting her head against his chest. 

***

Stan's living room was decorated with jack-o-lanterns with huge grins (flawless grins, carved with a precision most trained artists couldn't achieve but which Stan had somehow mastered) and there was a table with a plastic cloth decorated with ghosts in the middle of the room with a punch bowl in the center. Richie had tried and failed to convince Stan to spike the punch until Mike joined in agreeing that it would be fun which had finally convinced Stan to pour a few splashes of his dad's rum into the bowl. 

"Need any help with that?" Richie asked the small, blonde haired boy sitting at the table and pretending to straighten the tablecloth while actually sneaking one of the candies Stan had laid out. 

Blushing at being caught, Georgie Denbrough hid the candy wrapper behind his back. "No thanks Richie," he said. Richie grinned. 

"I won't tell big Bill you were sneaking candy if you slip me one of those chocolates in your pocket," he said. 

Just as Georgie was reaching into his pocket, Bill came over hands on his hips. "Y-you won't tell Big Bill wh-what?" he snapped, but there was a gleam in his eye that told both Georgie and Richie that he was not really mad. 

"Nothing," Richie and Georgie said in unison. 

"Um," came a small voice from behind them. Richie turned around and felt all the blood rush to his face. 

At first, Richie was about ready to fall into panic mode. How was he supposed to react to Eddie's presence after that text? He felt like a real asshole too, because he hadn't responded. Maybe he deserved to feel like a real asshole for that, but he hadn't had any idea what to say, and texting just hadn't felt like the right way to say "you better not be messing with me because I'm in love with you. jerk." Not that he had typed out his response a million times without hitting send. Oh no. Definitely not. 

It only took a second of looking at Eddie though to fall into heaps of laughter, forgetting all about the text. 

Eddie Kaspbrak was wearing what could only be described the worst Halloween costume of all time. It was hand knitted, which made it all the worse, and it was a bright orange color that would have been funny all on its own even if it weren't stuffed with cotton and made into a pumpkin shape. 

"What," Richie wheezed. "What the hell are you wearing?" 

"I- look my mom made it okay - stop laughing!" Eddie's face was turning more and more red. 

"C'mon G-Georgie," Bill said, taking his brother's hand. "L-let's go in the other room. 

"But I wanna see if they kiss-" Georgie began. 

"Shut up!" Bill said, but he was grinning as he took Georgie's hand and dragged him away, leaving Richie and Eddie alone in Stan's living room. 

There was a moment of awkward silence. 

Then Richie started laughing again and he couldn't seem to stop. 

"You're being a real asshole!" Eddie said. At first, Richie ignored this, but he looked up and saw that Eddie's hurt was genuine this time. 

"I'm sorry," he said earnestly. 

"You ignore me for weeks, ignore my text about having a crush, and then you make fun of me!" 

"I didn't know how to say over text that I'm head over heels for you," Richie blurted out. 

As usual, his mouth was ahead of his brain and he felt his face heating up. 

"What?" Eddie asked in a soft voice. 

***

It was about twenty minutes later that Mike Hanlon showed up, walked into the living room, and quickly walked back out. 

He hurried into the kitchen where an armless (well, his arm tucked inside his costume the sleeve of which was covered in ketchup meant to look like blood) Georgie was sitting and eating candy with Bill who was giggling at a picture Beverly, dressed as Baby Firefly, was showing him. Ben was dividing up a candy bar for him and Georgie to share. Stan was sipping a glass of punch, and looking more relaxed than usual. 

"So I guess the living room, which we worked so hard to decorate, is off limits?" he said in a voice filled with fake annoyance. 

"Nah," Stan said. "I didn't carve those jack-o-lanterns for nothing. We'll give them another fifteen minutes or so than pry them apart so we can turn on a horror movie." 

"What are we thinking?" Mike asked. He had brought his DVDs of Halloween and Friday the 13th. 

"We'll have to vote on it," Stan said.

"The birds?" Mike asked, a teasing gleam in his eye.

"No! You know I hate that movie Mike, birds are usually gentle creatures and they're more afraid of us than-" he stopped. Everyone was grinning. "Right. I get it. Everyone thinks Stan the man's least favorite movie is just so funny." 

"Everything about Stan the man is so funny," came Richie's voice. He entered the kitchen, an arm around Eddie. "What are we laughing at this time." 

"Let's try the giant hickey on your neck trash mouth," Stan said. Eddie was bright red, but Richie just grinned. 

"Laugh away," Richie said. "This is the best Halloween ever." 

***

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy this lol 

I’m gonna tag the people that I think might enjoy this but no pressure to read - also if you’d like to be added to my tag list HMU 

@skeletontozier @evalocity @hair-fiber @antonioisbi @punkpisces00 @0firebrand0 

[mechanicalriddle]

rundown of last nights fucking insanity

so long story short, we’re on the hunt for these artifacts, the most powerful man in the world is on the hunt for us, and everything is really touch and go! but we figured we still had time for a party. so we all went and bought nice outfits n shit and attended a grant award gala for a university. im sure nothing at all will go wrong at this party because parties in stories are always nice and fun and never get crashed right

everything is going great, @doctormoreau is still workin on gettin wit Ayrs whose a scientist (they’re both old elf scientist gays & its really cute) and also he’s our bro who hosted us overnight.

Anyway so that happens, the scientist who the gala is being held for (her name is Mabel) mistakes them for a married couple, which was pretty awkward & objectively great. amira is dancing with her tragically soon-to-be-outie scar-crossed-lover drow, isobel is being a goof while the character SHES tryna get wit is just kind of staring her down. 

siobhan is... in the corner moping, because everyone here is very old. eventually she finds a student to dance with, and they have a short scene which is about where shit started to get wack. so we’re dancing and this kids fuckin... sleeper cell programming kicks in. things get awkward before my dance partner fUCKING JUST. CHANGES FORM, PULLS OUT A GUN AND SHOOTS ME DIRECTLY IN THE FKIN FACE (turns out her true form is also a tiefling, hence why i had a premonition earlier of me shooting myself in the face)

thanks to ~*magical destiny bullshit*~ (i think specifically amira’s) the bullet stops right before it hits me and falls to the ground. cue two teenage girls trying to murder each other. klaus DM rules that i can use hellish rebuke so i set her on fire, then try to strangle her, and she grabs me by the arm and t h r o w s m e t h r o u g h a t a b l e (ouch)

then ANOTHER fucking agent (who we all failed perception checks to notice) runs up out of the crowd and goes for amira’s relic necklace, but he can’t yank it off because its essentially superglued on her by magic. so what does amira do? uhh shoots the motherfucker in the stomach. he goes staggering backwards off the stage, falls on his ass, and starts scooting away, probably leaving a trail of blood in his wake.

me + Argyris (WIZARD SQUAD) take down the tiefling, who just kind of falls limply on the ground like a ragdoll but cedryc uses Spare the Dying (and closes her eyes, cuz it’s super fucking creepy why are they still open) then we all kinda converge on this other guy. Amira steps on his coattails and siobhan, who is somehow the best intimidator in the group, fires up burning hands + thaumaturgy and with advantage scares the absolute piss out of this guy (”WHOOOOO SENT YOU”) she kneels down and grabs the guy by the shirt-collar to try and intimidate again, but the guy pops a cynaide pill and dies in her arms.

then the sprinklers go off (THANKS miss i-need-to-shoot-fire-outta-my-hands at every given opportunity) siobhan finally drops him and starts bawling, because triggering your own PTSD is never fun

shortly afterwards we grab the other tief and book it back to Ayrs’s research lab, then strap her down to a table and wake her up. 

When we do wake her up, her sleeper-cell training has clearly turned off, and she’s basically scared to death and strapped down to a table with 4 now quite capable fighters interrogating her. but it doesn’t take too long to notice that something is clearly very, very wrong. a few questions later, we learn her name (Illucid) and successfully determine that this character has been, for lack of a better word, bucky-barnes’d. shes also STILL like my (siobhan’s) age, and has clearly been manipulated for years, because @tillaneesia loves deliberately ripping out my heartstrings. asshole.

Siobhan, who was standing in the doorway, decides now is the time to dash into the room, grab onto illucid as best she can (considering shes strapped down to a table) and the two have a moment, and i drop some dank backstory hints that siobhan and illucid might have a little bit more in common than she is willing to admit

Mabel is also there because Ayrs dragged her along. she has an inkling, and feels around on the back of Illucid’s head where she locates a device that has been essentially installed into the back of her skull. She then states that she thinks she can successfully remove it, and asks Ayrs to bust out all of his marine biology equipment so we can do some quick-and-dirty surgery on this poor kid.

at this point i’m crying, amira is crying, basically everyone is crying. after we all hug it out we leave Mabel alone to... well, work her magic.

we all retreat to our rooms, knowing that our archenemy is  onto us and we will all need to leave tonight. 

BACK TO ISOBEL, and Tachian, who is the DM (@tillaneesia‘s) character. tachian has essentially worn a full body covering for the entire game, and panics every time some article of clothing comes close to falling off. Tachian essentially ran out after Illucid started erratically shape-changing due to incredible emotional distress (i guess the thing in the back of her head let her do that) so after everything’s kind of died down, isobel tries to track her down. the room is completely dark, and isobel (who has fucked up in this aspect before) decides to just. hang out by the door and not look inside. but for once, Tachian actually lets her in. Cue big reveal.

Tachian pulls down her hood. she takes off her gloves, and her eyepatch. turns out she’s like, 8 levels of fucked up. isobel grabs the rest of the group bc i guess we all broke down tachian’s walls enough to get to know her tragic backstory.

turns out, she was born in a laboratory and is, in fact, a failed supersoldier. of course. this geneticist was essentially i guess trying to hand-program a doppleganger who could be controlled and used for military/espionage purposes; unfortunately tachian was one of his earlier iterations, and the first one to actually survive and be a person. she didn’t work right, couldn’t shift, instead wound up being a horrifying patchwork of different races and because of her terribly conflicting biology was essentially in constant, agonizing pain.

i think this was approximately around the time i went and did this:

she was essentially locked in a basement for the first twenty years of her life while her creator would drop by every couple of months, try to fix her, fail, then leave again. unfortunately we found out this guy already drank himself to death, though had i the money i would shell out 25k for a true rez so i can kill the motherfucker a second time. eventually someone found the lab & this poor, incredibly damaged 20 year old with no social or survival skills and brought her to a monastery, and that was like 15 years ago. she spent her isolation reading her “father’s” research materials, became obsessed with finding these artifacts, and eventually set off on her own to meet us, the people who are destined to possess and use the artifacts to unlock their true potential.

also important to note that tachian essentially confirmed that illucid was, quote unquote, “The me that worked,” meaning someone stole her father’s research and is now using it against us. cool cool cOOL COOL COOL COOL

after all this deep ass shit, we all finally decided it was time to leave. All of our new friends. this meant cockblocking the fuck out of poor Argyris and leaving illucid, who was just starting to recover from having a thing, yknow. yanked out of her brain. and we did this with the knowlege that we genuinely may never see these people ever again.

but i know better. what i know, that my character doesn’t know, is that this is a d&d campaign.

@tillaneesia

#BRINKBACKILLUCID2K17

[droewyn]

Question Game!

I was tagged by @phlintandsteel!

rules:

1. answer the questions given by the person who tagged you

2. write 10 questions of your own and tag 10 people

1.  Have you ever truly hated another human being?

Yes.  My stepmom’s son.  She raised him as a single mom, and while she didn’t have much of anything, she gave it all to him.  He wanted to go to broadcasting school to be a radio DJ.  She was terrified that he’d fail, but supported him anyway, and when he didn’t fail, she was his biggest fan.  Then he met and married Old Southern Money, and became ashamed of his roots.  He cut off all contact with her -- told her via fucking certified mail that she didn’t “do enough” for him and he wanted nothing more to do with her.  Periodically he calls just to fuck with her brain, saying that he wants to talk, only to go off on her and belittle her.  When his first kid was born, he invited her and my dad to the baptism, and when they flew down to New Orleans on their own dime he bitched her out and told her he didn’t want her there.  Like he'd never intended for her to attend, he just wanted to humiliate her in person.  We had her on suicide watch for weeks after that little trick.  I've actually wondered if driving her to suicide is his goal.  He is staggeringly cruel, an absolute waste of humanity, and the world would be so much better off without him in it.  At least then my stepmom could have some goddamn closure and stop getting tortured every six months.  I hope his wife has a billion affairs, gives him crotch rot, and leaves him for the mailman.  I hope his kids grow up to break his heart.  I’d also really like to kick his balls into his throat.  Repeatedly.

... sorry.  You asked.  :/

2.  How do YOU pronounce caramel?

CARE-uh-mel.

3.  What was your first fandom?

Um.  Okay, so, like.  I'm old. Tumblr OldTM, but still. So I'm kind of not sure how to answer this question.

The first thing I went absolutely nuts over was My Little Pony.  I was four, and there were these pastel unicorns and I.  Had. To have.  Them all.

The first thing I made up stories in my head about was Rainbow Brite.

The first thing I had headcanon for was She-Ra, Princess of Power.  When the DVDs came out and I rewatched the series as an adult, I was genuinely shocked that the episode where Adora had to earn everyone's trust because hello, there's usually a step between "I've decided to quit being the enemy's greatest general" and "I accept the position of leadership in your rebellion", didn't actually exist.  I still "remember" it vividly, and I'm not entirely convinced that there wasn't some history rewriting or parallel universe involved.

The first fanfiction I wrote was for Final Fantasy I.  I wrote a Save Our Princess! flyer for some spelling test or something in sixth grade.

My first actual online fandom was Sailor Moon.  I had a 2400 baud modem, and the tiny, distorted, 300x400 video of the Japanese opening credits took two days to download.  Fanfiction.net didn't exist yet, never mind AO3.  We had WEBRINGS.  It was barbaric.

4.  Guys in high heels, yes or no?

Doesn't do anything for me, but then I'm demi, and my boy has never been into that.  You do you and don't worry about what I think.

5.  Did you go to college, and if so, was it worth it?

I dropped out as a sophomore, so no.  It was not worth it.  I'm making decent money as an entirely self-taught Salesforce admin. 

6.  What is your favorite type of AU?

Something that gives me an entirely new experience while staying true to the characters.  I've loved me some A/B/O, and I've also been utterly revolted by A/B/O.  Ditto for soulmates, fake relationships, pretty much all of it.  It's all the writer and their storytelling for me, not a specific setting.

...

OKAY FINE GIVE ME ALL THE LEVERAGE YOI AU IN THE WORLD AND I WILL BE SO HAPPY THERE I SAID IT

7.  Would you hide your orientation/stay in the closet to get ahead in your career (I guess I’m assuming since this is tumblr that we’re all queer here)?

I joined the workforce in the late 1990's.  Of course I have been in the closet at various workplaces, though much of it was less being concerned about possible advancement or lack thereof and more not wanting to deal with being the freak in the triad relationship. These days I'm open about being queer with my coworkers, though I have not laid out any actual details to anyone. Except for the one adorable little baby gay who worried that I might find some people's behavior shocking if I went to Detroit Pride this year.  Then I was all oh sweetie you think I'm vanilla that's so cute let me tell you exactly how wrong you are.

8.  What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

So I take about a quarter cup of olive oil, right?  The regular stuff, not EVOO; EVOO can't take being heated without losing flavor so there's no point in spending the extra money for the sake of being fancy.  I grind up some salt and pepper with a mortar and pestle until it's super fine and add it to the oil, stirring so the particles are evenly suspended throughout.  Then I crush about 4-6 cloves of garlic and add them.  Yes, cloves.  More than that if they're small.  Next, I turn the stove on to the popcorn sweet spot (just past the 7 line on my range) and add a single kernel of corn.  When that pops, it’s time to add the rest of the popcorn, about a half cup.  It has to be kept moving!  I use one of those hand-cranked popcorn kettles that lets me continually stir; if I don't have that it's shaking the (lidded) pot like a savage and trying not to get burned by escaping steam.  When the popcorn is done, it gets dumped in a very large bowl and sprinkled immediately with powdered parmesan cheese so that the remaining oil will allow the cheese to stick to the popcorn.  Sometimes I add some fresh chives if I'm feeling precious.

That is my favorite popcorn, and it is the fucking bomb.

9.  What character do you think deserved a better redemption arc (or to get one when they didn’t)?

Actually, I'm going to go back to my She-Ra headcanon from above.  I know it was a child's cartoon from the 1980's.  But even when I was a child I understood that some transgressions are just too big for "Whoops, sorry I was like brainwashed and stuff" to cut it.  She needed trials, tribulations.  She needed to earn her place.  Earn the right for redemption.  I'd love to see a take on the series that digs into that.  (That and the Hordak/Adora relationship.  Why the fuck did he raise her to be innocent when keeping her that way was so much trouble?  Was she a trophy?  Was she the one good thing in his life?  If so, why did he make her fight for him?  Did he ever care for her at all?  These questions should keep her up at night.  She should be torn between hatred and love for the father figure she thought she'd had.  IT WOULD BE SO DELICIOUS)

10.  What element would you choose if you could bend/control ONE.

Carbon.  I'd basically have control over everything organic and RULE THE WORLD MUA HA HA HA HA

I’m tagging the following people (entirely voluntary, of course):

@mercury01, @minttytea, @doesitlooklikeineedanotherfandom, @silvercrystal1, @basedpandesal, @cinnamonviking, @spideypool-snarryalways, @planeoftheeclectic, @ihaveacrappyusername, and all of the porn bots.

My questions:

1. What would your ideal T-shirt slogan read?

2. What is your comfort food, activity, and/or piece of clothing, and why?

3. Which fandom are you the most proud to be part of?  Which fandom are you ashamed of?  They can be the same fandom.

4. Name one thing about yourself that you like.  This must be genuine.  NO SIDESTEPPING, SELF-NEGGING, OR BACKHANDED SHIT.  IF I CAN DO IT YOU CAN.

5. Do you have any traditions in your family that you’ve inherited and are happy to carry forward?  Are there any traditions that you’d like to start yourself?

6. What are your pet(s) name(s)?  If you don’t have a pet, what would you name your fantasy pet?

7. What of yours would you like archaeologists (alien or future humans; your choice) to dig up one day?  Why?

8. You’ve done all of those “What’s your porn/writer/Star Wars/etc name” memes.  We all have.  What’s your favorite one?

9. What song summarizes you?

10. What’s your superpower?  Will you be a hero or a villain?

BONUS QUESTION BECAUSE MY HUSBAND WANTS TO CONTRIBUTE BUT IS A SMARTASS: 

11. If Richard the Lionheart had actually taken his shit seriously, do you think he could have spanked Saladin, or did existing socioeconomic and political conditions doom his Crusade to failure?

[47catsinatrenchcoat]

to preface all this; fandom is to have fun in, and like hc or au are fine. interpretation is fine. its just. well--

as aroace myself, i wanna say any rep id be down for but im not. i cant stand it when people relate to the wrong things. ive related representation to various kinds of cake and like various kinds of cake before. and like. aroace rep or other forgotten minority rep tends to be shitty cake that was shoddily made, and disgusting to eat. sure its the flavor of cake we like, but that doesnt mean its good cake! or cake i wanna eat! aroace isnt like. i hate people and want them never, its i want 7 billion friends id just never fuck or date any of them.

dirk fucking striders homosexuality and massive crush on jake english is s o f u c k i n g important to his character. like. almost n o n e of the drama of the alpha kids happens if he doesnt. the only drama we keep is roxys lust for dirk. the rest of it, well. if dirk didnt have the massive crush its unlikely brobot would be as he/it is, would probably function closer to something like sebastian if it even still recognizably existed. jane and dirks relationship wouldnt be strained as fuck. in fact, if dirk was aroace hed be more likely to try dating roxy than jake cus of historical societies obsession with het-shit, he wouldnt fake crush on jake hed have no reference of what it feels like to have a crush. hed feel the same about all his friends (massive platonic love for them) and if he would try to think he had a crush on any of them, it would be one of the girls because i did that! i thought i had a crush on my opposite sex friend in middle school when i didnt feel any dif about them than my same sex friend BECAUSE OF SOCEITIES FOCUS ON HET SHIT. jane and jake would probably end up dating real quick! cus theres no competition between jane and dirk, and roxy wants dirk more than she wants jake! there would be no concern of dirk feeling clingy or overbearing to jake, and daves admission about bbro wouldnt hit as hard because brobot might still be a thing, but its training wouldnt be weirdly tender nor is it likely to go as hard on jake. roxy wouldnt be drunkenly agonizing after dirk cus hed mistakenly agree to her propositions cus he doesnt feel strongly about either gender. he wouldnt be as weird as he is either. no slideshow of buff furry men. no place for dave to go "how did you tell your friends?". an aroace dirk defies a fucking lot of important character moments for him. dirk is fucking p r o o f sexuality is a super fucking important thing about characters!! and people alike! he wouldnt BE dirk if he wasnt homosexual! sexuality is just as important about a character as literally anything else! it colors interactions and shapes thoughts. the same goes if dirk was bi or pan. hed end up with roxy without the definite knowledge that hes only attracted with dudes. because he is weak, and if he didnt have that specific knowledge he only likes dudes, hed bend to roxys wants! cus hed think he could learn to love her! hal might not even end up existing! or brain ghost dirk! if hal did exist hed be very fucking different! he wouldnt creepily torment jake! and so much other stuff. dirks gayness, and specifically his attraction to jake, are super important to his character and a lot of the drama of the alpha kids! the story would be completely different without it!

on a related note: dirk didnt crush on jake cus he was the only dude he interacted with, which by the way is a fucking bullshit idea and tells me that you think either a) everyone needs to have romance at any given time or theyd go insane or b) gay people are so thirsty they take anything. which are both. horrible ideas about the world. dirk crushed on jake cus he was j a k e fuckin eng l i s h, hope boy who genuinely loves movies and can defend that love and for many other fuckin rea s o ns. like. thats my least favorite reasoning for why postcanon they wouldnt get back together. theres literally a much better p much canon one in that theyre both too fucking awkward to actually talk about it. or that they just decided hey we didnt work out and thats okay we can still be friends and try out dating other people. not like, dirk having this bs realistion that OH JAKE ENGLISH IS SHIT AND I ONLY LIKED HIM CUS HE WAS MY ONLY OPTION. which is just no. no no no. jake being aroace is equally hard to stomach cus like. a) john fuckin egbert literally goes on a romance is bs rant and never shows romantic interest in anyone beyond his internalized push to like girls due to the soceity he grew up in. and b) literally most of the idea jake is aro/ace stems from WHEN HE WAS IN THE THROES OF SELFHATRED AND HOW HE THOUGHT HE COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE BECAUSE HE NEEDS TIME TO HIMSELF SOMETIMES. like. god d a m n. maybe hes got some tendencies there but like. i fucking hate that people picked it up when he was hating on himself and thinking about never being around people again. CUS THATS NOT AROACE. THATS NOT FUCKING AROACE PEOPLE. jake calls himself broken im p sure, and like. god. g o d. i hate. i hate hate hate. how people use this as an excuse to hate jake. jakes a wonderful character. hes selfish, introverted, and likes to have fantasies. that doesnt make him a bad person my d u d e. every fucking character has flaws. jake english being aroace has been ruined for me because of how fandom decided on it, and how they treated it. aroace isnt fucking selfhatred you assholes. its just. i dont wanna date or fuck people!! im not incapable of love!!!!! im fucking full of love! its just the platonic kind.

as well, it pisses me off forever how everyone jumped on JAKE IS AROACE cus he hates himself and people wanted an excuse to hate dirkjake. while completely fucking ignoring johns canonical *romance is bullshit* rant that struck such a fucking cord with me, a personal aroace. all of johns "crushes" feel exactly like my fake "i thought i liked this person" because soceity. i can aesthetically appreciate people and i do! and so can john! but it never develops into a relationship! as for the black johnrezi, its really easy to end up in a flirty situation and it was terezi pushing it anyway. and literally nothing came of it after the final battle. same johnroxy. but like, at the same time of all of this, shipping is fun as hell, and dirkjohn is wonderful and johnroxy is adorable and johnrezi is hilarious and so much other stuff.

on a still kind of related note, dave is bi canonically. he literally tells john he likes boys and girls even if john doesnt get it. he aint gay. im so so so so tired of people labeling dave gay and dirk bi like. how did you get these characters so c o n f u s e d. dave is bi and hes crushed on literally all of his friends. he and jade had a vague thing. there is definately a crush on john. the flirting with rose. his crush on terezi. and now hes dating karkat. and like. just cus hes fucking dating karkat DOESNT MAKE HIM ANY LESS BI. yes alright characters are free for interpretation. but like. dave is so obviously bi by everything in the story. and dirk is so obviously gay. how do you get this so mixed up.

on another note of people mixing up things about dave n dirk. but a funny one, dirk like. has never worn long sleeves while dave always does. im trying to think of any point in comic when dave wears anything but long sleeves. maybe his heart shirt? but no. no i think that ones long sleeves too. and dirk, at least half of his outfits are no sleeves. and the rest are short sleeves. his godteir has long glooves yeah but like. literally never wears long sleeves. lmao.

yknow i dont like when ppl headcanon dirk as aroace because hes so facking weak……. he could never survive alone he would just consume himself w self hatred. besides its canon that hes gayy so

[aki-lis]

The thing about ‘furries’

I think it was needed to be said, well on my part at least. Cause I know some of my friends on here are disturbed by that term and or like to joke around about it, which is fine, don’t get me wrong! But like It’s gotten to the point to where if someone MENTIONS it, people instantly start “You want to fuck someone dressed as a fucking dog, weirdo” or “all furries are sexually attracted to animals. So it’s bestiality” AND MANY MORE STEREOTYPES. Just, jfc.

Being a person that USED to be in the ‘ f a n d o m ’, I have NEVER been attracted to a anthro character NOR a fucking ANIMAL. I found it fun to be represented as a colorful fox. I was in 2nd grade when I came up with this “Ivana Fox” character, which is just a play on my name + the word “fox” And just because of having this blue-haired fennec, I’ve been shamed, harassed, insulted, JUST BECAUSE OF HAVING A OC. Same for my friend Evelina, we both created our characters when we were little, hers being a albino lion, but since she hardly uses the internet and doesn’t know much, people shame her at s c h o o l. 

After all the bullshit people have done to me and making fun, I left, and started using human characters, THEN I WAS CALLED A WEEABOO because of my ARTSTYLE??- but anime fans are a different topic, and about me starting to watch less shows/anime that I liked just to ‘fit in’ with my so-called ‘friends’. So, I fully left and KEPT my Fox character, (She was legit inspired by the nine-tailed Fox from Naruto, ffs. Same reason why she had 9 tails back then ), just because hey, I have a OC that’s a animal, but I do not contribute to anything ‘furry’ nor have a ‘fursuit’ or draw or look at ‘yiff’, what could go wrong?

And yet again, the awful jokes and harassment didn’t stop. This was the same back when i was in the Brony Fandom. I had a lot of older friends as well, but being there for years, I’ve come to meet many different kinds of ‘bronies’. Some of them genuinely like the show and like writing stories, and some are here for the ‘clop’. But I’m not here to judge people on what they like. 

I remember when I was little, having my badly-drawn Ivana Fox character as my profile on youtube, commenting on a fucking pewdiepie video making a joke, and the replies were just “Furfag” “Fucking furries”

I see my friends, like Moho for a example, are getting jokes made about them for drawing a half-human half-animal and getting yelled “FURRY!!” at. Even though she made it for fun with no will to start a damn war. Now, Moho is the type of person that’s usually accepting, but getting these kinda messages from her followers and people unfollowing her, she started acting weird towards me like I’m some kind of weirdo for having a OC. I haven’t told her that her comments and ‘jokes’ sometimes cause me serious anxiety, and I’m not planning to. Why? Because I’m a low-life that doesn’t want to lose friends nor upset anyone cause it’s all I have left.

I do NOT, ever, want to be called a furry non-ironicly. Sure, if we know eachother you’re free to call me a ‘furry’ AS A JOKE- Speaking of jokes, i think I have most of my friends because of the memes I joke about to the point to think im drawing these characters ironically-

Furries are actually very nice people?? Almost all of my commissioners are Furries and Bronies, and they never have screwed me over. Hecc, I’ve got nothing against them, cause I UNDERSTAND what they’re going through. But it’s really fucked up to watch them get bullied over something they like doing. It’s like getting bullied for watching any SHOW, liking any CHARACTER etc.

One thing I also would like to note is that, do they honestly cause any harm to YOU? You person that likes categorizing them, yes, you! What did they do to you that causes you to want to leash out to them and shame them for what they chose to be? Yes, there are some that ‘take it too far’ but its THEIR PROBLEM?? Not yours?? You see someone comment “hot” on a post about some random anthro, and you start attacking them why? You KNOW, the human brain is attracted to mostly the HUMAN PARTS of a anthro (tits, ass, hips etc), and if it’s attracted to an ACTUAL ANIMAL (snout and overall think a literal dog), now that’s something worrysome, but not your problem.

Like, even Markiplier’s brother IS a ‘furry’. He has a 12-year STILL RUNNING comic about a anthro tiger and a blue-haired human. And a lot of people seem to enjoy it, is it really right to yell at people because of their own interests? ( Credit to TwoKings/ Jason Thomas Fischbach/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRao_Fl_z2g << Mark introducing Tom )

And Mark is fully ok with his brother doing what he likes, cause it’s his brother’s life. He does what he likes.

If someone’s into any kink, any media that they like, ANYTHING. Should they get shamed about it?  Oh you like Overwatch?

lemme come over and shove “WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?? YOU LIKE THAT ONE GAY CHARACTER TRACER?? Wow, so you’re sexualizing gays? gays are fucking objects that you can fuck? I wouldn’t ever fuck a gay wtf is wrong with you” in your face. It would be the same result

Sorry for my rant, this was rushed, but I needed to say what i thought.

[forkanna]

[AO3 LINK] [EF LINK]

NOTE: See if you can spot the BTTF3 reference!

CHAPTER 5

"You're awfully quiet this morning."

The inside of Anna's truck had been like a coffin until halfway to school. She felt bad about it, but wasn't sure what else to do. How could she explain to Punz what she had been through in the past week – a week that didn't exist to her?

"Um… so let's just say…" Clearing her throat, she redoubled her grip on the steering wheel. "This is gonna be pretty weird. And not just 'I might be gay' weird, but more like the 'aliens melted my brain' variety. Bear with me?"

The quick glance showed her that Jennifer was looking confused, right on cue. "Um… yeah, okay, I'm with you. Like the Doc's version of strangeness."

"Exactly! Exactly that, like the Doc. In fact, let's say… hypothetically, one of his crazy inventions worked."

Punz let out a little cackle. "Hah, yeah, okay. No wonder you're apprehensive – it's hard to believe you from the first sentence!" Anna glared at her from the corner of her eye. There was no real malice there, but Punz still made a showing of zipping her lip. "Sorry. Continue."

Clearing her throat, Anna nodded. "Okay, so, one worked – hard as that is to believe. And we managed to do a successful test with a live control, but then other stuff happened and basically I had to use it and it has literally changed my life."

"Okay, um… look, Anna, whatever it is… I'm not gonna be like… mad or anything." At that, Anna gave a dry laugh. "What?"

"You can't say that, you don't know what it is yet. Or what I did."

"Look, it's not going to be anything completely bananas like a time machine or something."

Anna's laugh was strangled and her hands failed to keep the wheel quite steady. Punz stiffened visibly in the seat next to her. Anna's expression was mildly panicked.

"Anna…" Punz slowly turned to face her, her expression morphing into a one of shock and concern. "Are you… feeling okay?"

"Fine! Fine. Yep." She sounded anything but, her eyes fixed on the traffic in front, her face a rictus of normality.

"So what was it then? The invention?" A sliding note of concern was edging into Punz's voice.

"Well… I mean…. what if it was a time machine?"

This time, Punz didn't laugh. She just fixed her girlfriend with an unimpressed look. "Come on, be serious here."

"Stick with me. Like, say he invented a time machine. It's built into a car-" She had to ignore a snort "-and it runs on nuclear energy. A-and say that I had to use it to escape with my life, because Doc pissed off the wrong people to get the power for the experiment."

"Anna, this is pretty-"

"And say it took me back to the eighties, and then I was stuck there, and my phone didn't work, and my dad was a creeper, and there were kinds of Coke I'd never heard of, and my mom looked like Aimee Mann, and I had to say 'rad' all the time, and Hans was pretty much a rapist, and I was scared to death I'd never get home! Wh-what if… what if I told you that all happened? Would you like, call the police and tell them I'm a lunatic, or what?"

It took her a second or two to answer. "I'd say that at least you aren't your own grandpa because of some wacky time traveling oopsie." Punz laughed in a more relaxed manner, clearly having decided this was some kind of joke.

"So you think I've just been watching too many cartoons. Fine… it's fine, don't worry. Just wondered what you would think."

As they pulled into the school parking lot and came to a stop, Jennifer reached over and placed a hand on Anna's arm. "Okay. So… what it sounds like to me is, Doc invented some kind of… really, really intense VR? Or a new drug. Is… that where you were going with that? You tested this out for him and now it's got you all fucked up in the head?"

Nodding, she let out a long, shaky breath. "Yeah. Let's go with that."

"Anna…" Now, her voice was smaller, more genuinely concerned. And she hated it. She wanted to reassure her and yell out "April Fool!", anything but actually tell her the unfiltered truth.

"We're gonna be late for class. Um… can we table this until after? Or lunch or something."

Pressing her lips together, she sighed and shrugged. "Okay. But you can tell me anything, okay? Literally. I might not believe you off the bat, but I'll listen. Promise promise promise."

Anna believed her, but their conversation in the car had put her in a bad mood. She'd expected it – the backlash. The disbelief. Didn't mean that it didn't hurt though.

How was she going to get Punz to believe her? It was starting to feel like a necessity: she needed Jennifer to know and understand and say, "Man that's fucked up but I'm here for you." Anna stopped short on the steps of the school. Punz paused too, turning to look at her, but Anna was a million miles away. Until that moment she hadn't realised how desperate she was for that. More than her weird relationship with her mother, more than her intimacy with Punz… she needed their acceptance. Acceptance of what happened and her related feelings.

It was like she was twelve again, trying desperately to find the words to describe how she felt about girls and not about boys. The terror of 'I know my parents love me but what if?'

Goddamn she needed to see Doc again. Maybe Punz could have a nice chat with him, too…

                                          ~ o ~

Classes felt even longer than usual. Anna spent most of them staring out the window and double-checking with herself that she was really sane, and had endured all the insanity that she accepted as fact. No matter how much a hallucination or weird VR experience would comfort Jen, it was not the truth. And that sweet girl deserved no less than the truth. The trick was getting her to believe it. Thinking back, Anna probably shouldn't have started with "hypothetically", even if it was a good way to broach a tough conversation.

Her only saving grace seemed to be that Jennifer hadn't told any of their other friends. Merida would have laughed and cracked a few puns, and Anna definitely didn't think she could cope with that. By the time lunch was over, Anna was feeling much more normal.

Until Mr. Weselton appeared.

"Well, well, Miss McFly. What are we up to this time?" His mustache twitched back and forth as he stood blocking her way.

"Uhhh… going to class?" He shook his head. "Not going to class? I mean, okay, but if I'm not then I'm really curious what I'm doing here."

"Oh, I wonder that every time I see you. But this isn't an existential debate. You forgot to attend a very important meeting, didn't you?"

Anna had to squint at him for a few seconds before it caught up to her. Both of her teal orbs squeezed shut in a silent cringe.

"Detention."

She almost argued. Almost.

"Because of your tardiness," he said, spittle flying, "You're going to have to make it up. After school." And with that he was off, scolding other kids for holding hands or turning up their sleeves. Finally free of his glare, Anna let out a groan.

"What the hell – when did I get a detention?" she asked, turning to her friend. Punz looked at her, puzzled.

"On Friday, when you attached fishing line to his toupee and dragged it around school?" she said. "Honestly, I still think you were lucky not to be suspended. It was only because Principal Oaken couldn't stop giggling that you got off as easily as you did. Why didn't you just go?"

But Anna wasn't listening. Not really. She was too busy chuckling at the picture it painted – which was not one she remembered vividly from her own memory. "Man, that sounds like a good one."

"Yeah, yeah," Punz snorted with a roll of her eyes. "But the fact remains, you did the crime and now you have to do the time."

"What are you, my dad?" That one came out naturally; Kristoff was the type to say a phrase like that regardless of the timeline. "But alright, I'll go to detention. I swear, if he wasn't always on my case, I'd think I really was going crazy."

                                          ~ o ~

So Anna attended her punishment. It was only an hour, because the school had to get special permissions to keep children after 5 P.M. so it seemed easier just to let them go then. She rode out the time by writing down a few things in her notebook about her experiences. Thinking of her father again, she scrawled 'STORY IDEAS' at the top so that if anyone else found it, they wouldn't realise she had actually lived out any of the things she was jotting down. Fortunately, the detention meant she could play hooky with band practise, and instead use the time to follow through with her idea from earlier.

Swinging by Café 80s to pick up Punz, the two of them drove over to Doc's. Punz still looked highly skeptical, but she hadn't laughed once since Anna made it clear that this was important to her. It was a positive sign, at least.

"Alright, now," she muttered quietly as she fished the spare key out from under the side doormat. "I… did call him on my way over to get you, but he never picked up. So I'm not sure if he's in."

But he was. The DeLorean was parked with a large tarp over it in the garage, and Doc Pabbie was dressed in something akin to 'normal' clothing: a drab grey suit with a moss-green pocket square. He was also reclining in his easy chair, reading his way through a scientific journal of some kind or another.

"Ah, Anna," he said genially, turning to smile at them. "And Miss Punzel – it's been quite a while since you've rode sidecar."

Neither of them knew what 'rode sidecar' meant, but Anna guessed he meant since she visited. "Yeah. Um… so you got my missed call, I guess?"

To her surprise, he shook his head. "Nope. I just had a feeling you'd be around today with Miss Punzel. I would ask what has brought you to my door, but I have a feeling I can guess."

That would have been great, except now it seemed like a rehearsed skit. Punz even looked over to Anna, eyebrow raised. There was nothing she could say, so she just marched right on in.

"Why did you think we'd be around today?"

Pabbie clambered from his chair, stepping past them and walking back towards the DeLorean. "Well, considering the week you've had, and the weekend you had planned, I merely extrapolated from the available- that is, I guessed that you would tell Miss Punzel of our experiment. She, naturally, wouldn't believe you, so you would bring her here to get me to convince her."

Wow. He was right. Damn scientists and their processes of elimination.

Anna was saved from having to actually find a reply when Punz stepped forward. "Sorry, Mister, uh… Doc," she said. Anna suppressed a snort – Jen never had been quite as comfortable around Doc as she had. No one was, really. "I'm sure you both put a lot of effort into this prank, but… well, you can't honestly expect me to believe you, can you? Like, if this is some elaborate scheme to break up with me, what's the point? All you have to do is tell me you don't like me and don't want to see me anymore. At least that would be respectful!"

"I don't quite expect you to believe me, no," Doc began. "Though I would hope you can trust Anna enough to give her the benefit of a doubt." Punz looked away, shame filling her face. Anna glared at Doc, but he didn't seem to notice. "And if that fails, I'm sure she still has the video on her phone from the experiment with Olaf."

"Hey, that's right!" Anna interrupted. "And the letter – your letter!"

Punz arched an eyebrow. "Letter?"

"I don't know if that'll matter, Anna. I mean, only because anybody can write a letter about anything they wanted." But Anna was already pulling out her phone, grabbing the video she had made sure to copy over once she got back to modern equipment, so Doc fell silent and merely looked on as she pulled up the video.

And Jen watched it. Anna could tell the scientific explanations were washing right over her head, but when the car started moving by remote control, she paid a little closer attention. Then when it disappeared, she blinked a few times, but then sighed and turned to them.

"Okay, this is… creative, but I've seen Vines like this. I'll admit, it's really… really well done." There was definite doubt in her voice; she wasn't firmly committed to disbelief, but wasn't convinced yet, either.

"It's not a Vine. Like… okay, Punz, I know. It sounded like wacko bullshit to me, too, but I swear to God it's a hundred per cent real."

Her finger flicked the video back to the moment the DeLorean disappeared, and she watched it again. Then to the end, where Doc was screaming for Anna to run for it. "So… okay, I have a lot of questions."

"I'm afraid I won't be able to answer all of them," Doc told her, in a firm but not unkind voice. "Anna is my assistant, and even she doesn't know all of the particulars of how time travel works. But the rest I must keep under lock and key. Wouldn't do to have the technology too widespread. But we can still chat about the basics, of course."

"Fine," Jennifer crossed her arms, looking between the two warily. "Like, the only reason I'm even entertaining the idea that this isn't a Vine, like Anna claims, is because she's terrible at doing effects like these. Couldn't even get the Powerpoint presentation working on our tenth grade class project. The only way for her to pull off something like this off and make it look like it's actually happening is either because of pure luck, or you got some whiz kid to do it, or… because it's actually real."

"Hey!" Anna frowned in offense, even while a part of her was relieved that there was something that Punz was using as proof to believe her. "I'm not that bad."

"Oh yeah? Don't you remember the one music video you and Merida tried to make? The one where you wanted to make a firework effect go off at the end but somehow you managed to make the effect go off throughout the entire thing? You also made so many of the effects go at once that you caused your computer to crash because it couldn't handle the continuous lag." Punz gave her a small smirk. "It took us a week to get it fixed. And you know I have at least five more examples."

Anna cringed at the embarrassing memory. "Yeah, okay, I suck." Almost immediately, Punz's expression went back to being pensive.

"So anyway… how long have you two been working on this little… experiment, exactly?"

"The past thirty years," Doc went on with a slight shrug. "Although, originally I would have said Anna had only been assisting me with it for a few weeks, I think recent events have changed the length of employment - even if she wasn't offering continuous contributions."

"Interesting… but I mean, I'm sure you can see how I'd be skeptical. This is a lot to take on faith. Like, how would that even work? Time only moves in one direction."

"You aren't thinking fourth-dimensionally. Much the same as the sky was not open to us before we learned to use wind resistance to defeat the laws of gravity, we only need to… well, the point is, there is always a way. Science just has to catch up to Mother Nature before it can best her."

"Wish you could have seen it, Jen," Anna sighed, leaning back and staring at the ceiling. "Dell Valley… it was so different. Freaky."

"Ah, and I have something for you." Hopping up and sprinting to one of his bookshelves, Doc nipped out a tall book, covered in red leather. A white outline of a bulldog also graced the cover, along with the date "1985".

"What's this?" Anna said, reaching for it – but Doc was flipping through it himself already, so she waited. Then he put it into her hands, tapping the page and gesturing for Jennifer to look with his other hand.

"Recognise anyone you know?"

At first, her girlfriend only shook her head at the strange outfits. But then she saw the picture he had pointed to… and her eyes focused on someone on the stage at the homecoming dance.

"I… that's you! Wait, but… I mean, this can't be real. It has to be some Photoshop job."

"It's not Photoshop, it's photography," Doc said baldly. "And I'm still upset with the level of timeline pollution, but it couldn't be helped by that point."

"It's me, Punz," Anna confirmed, petting along the page. She wished Elsa was in one of the pictures, but even so, it was fun to see herself in her terrible prom outfit, minus her shoes, playing her heart out. Maybe she could still manage to repeat history in her own time.

But then she realised – there was a picture with both of them. Fishing out her wallet, she quickly located where she had slipped the Polaroid. It had not lived there very long, after all.

"Check that out."

Poor Jennifer Punzel looked far more shocked to be gazing at an image of a very young, very excited Elsa Baines. And right next to her was an uncomfortable looking Anna. The picture looked brand new, but the technology and outfits were distinctly dated.

"No… guys…" But she didn't keep naysaying, only frowned harder at the picture clutched in her fingers. "Okay, so this is pretty cool, and the video… I'll try to believe it's real, too. But I mean, why would you need to travel through time? What's the point in going to the past, especially? The future, I can kinda understand; that'd be dope, finding out where humanity's going to be a hundred years from now…"

"It wasn't intentional," Anna informed her, "Doc set the time to the 80s as an example, and when those thugs attacked us… well, I wasn't exactly in the right state of mind to switch it. So I ended up in the past. Whoops!"

"And as to why we would need to travel through time," Doc began manically, "Why! Just think of the possibilities, young Jennifer! There are so many potential uses for this!" Doc looked so excited, his eyes twinkling with such a glee that both girls took steps back in case he began to dance or something. He began to pace instead, his arms gesturing as he went on a long spiel that neither girl was particularly into listening to.

"Okay, so, say I believe you." Punz leaned over to Anna, casually ignoring Doc and his rant on timeline dilation and refraction. Or something. "You just… popped to the past and then came back. I don't see what the issue is."

Anna grimaced. This was where it was going to get hairy. "The issue is that… I had to spend a week in 1985 because the car wouldn't work. I mean, it would work, but the time-travelling thingy didn't. It takes a lot more juice than just gas, yknow? So while we were figuring out how to get me back to my future, I was there for a week, and I… met someone."

Punz's eyes widened. "You did? Wait, that's the girl you um… yeah. Okay. But that's all in the past now – literally."

At that, Anna nodded. Biting her lip, she hedged, "Well… technically… yes…"

Doc had seemingly tuned into their conversation by now. "Stating for the record here and now that I was very much against any meddling in the timeline, for reasons which will eventually become clear. But to Anna's credit, none of her meddling was intentional; once I explained the concept of time paradoxes, she tried to avoid such events, however meager her efforts proved."

"Thanks a bunch, Doc," she grunted.

"Meddling?" Punz asked. "I don't understand."

"Well… say you go back and accidentally keep your parents from meeting. If they don't meet, they can't fall in love, and they can't have children. Can't have you. So then, um… what's the word again? Paradox?" Doc nodded. "Right. If your parents never give birth to you, how can you go back in time and stop them from giving birth to you? It can't happen, so it's kinda… really horrible. Like, world-destruction horrible. It's like what happens when you smash all the keys on an old-timey typewriter at once; it can't handle that and the keys jam."

Already nodding along, seemingly pleased with how bright his assistant was despite not being a scientist herself, Doc put in, "Of course there are other theorems which state no events can unfold which were not already predestined, and therefore time travel in and of itself was preordained from the beginning. But I mostly think of those as hogwash – though of course if they proved correct, I would be forced to accept their validity."

"I'm… this is a lot to swallow." But from the fear in her eyes, Jennifer definitely seemed to be growing more open to believing them than she had been when she got there. "And I admit, the video and the yearbook together, that Polaroid… I mean, it all looks legit."

"I swear to God, Punz, we're telling the truth. Part of me wishes I wasn't, but we are. It's just… a really weird truth."

"Oh geez," she said, swaying on the spot. "I need to sit down…"

Anna surged forward, grabbing her arm and guiding her to a seat. "Sorry," she said. "I really shit the bed on this one."

Tenderly, Punz reached up a hand and pat Anna's cheek. "It's okay," she said, running her thumb across the soft skin. "Obviously whatever fuckup happened, you fixed it. Right?"

Anna looked away, giving a nervous cough. "R-right."

"Anna?"

She let out a sigh through her nose. Doc made a show of trying to sidle from the room; unfortunately for him, he wasn't looking where he was going and tripped over something that sounded expensive. It didn't distract Punz for long – a glance in his direction before turning her gaze back to Anna.

"Remember… I said I met a girl…"

Jen's eyes widened. "Holy shit… Anna… it wasn't my mother was it?"

Eyebrows furrowed, Anna just looked at her. "What?"

"Well you're being all weird about it!" Punz cried. "Which means I probably know her and- and ew my mom, Anna?"

"It wasn't your mother!" Exasperation laced her tone. "Don't worry. Far as I know, I didn't even see her at all while I was there."

"O-oh," Punz said, ears burning red. "That would be because they… dinmrv…" she trailed off in a mumble, and finally a smile twitched at Anna's mouth.

"What was that?" she asked, leaning forward. Punz sighed.

"We didn't move to Dell Valley until I was in the fourth grade," she admitted. "Remember? So you wouldn't have seen my parents. Anyway, who was it then?"

Now they had reached the truly challenging part. Unbidden, the image of her mother's face between her own thighs swam into Anna's memory, and she knew it wouldn't take long dwelling on that for her cheeks to turn pink so she forced the image away. Not that it was easy. She was supposed to be telling Jennifer the truth, not examining her own mental state from when the incident happened. No, that would come later. Over and over for the rest of her life.

"Yeah. Soooooo…" Might as well get it over with. "Ikindamademymomcrushonmeokay?"

This time, Doc really did leave the room, and much more soundlessly. He was already edging out into the garage when Punz asked, "What?"

It had been too hard to say it the first time. As she usually tended to do, Anna tried to be cheerful and gloss over how awful the implications were, letting out a nervous little chuckle. "You know, shit happens sometimes, and… I mean, there's this whole thing about attraction, and separated family members, and…"

"Enough double-talk. What did you say the first time? It almost sounded like… your mom."

Something akin to panic was brewing in her sparkling green eyes, but she was suppressing it… so far. But not forever. That was too much. Anna cleared her throat, looked around, then got up to start walking out the front door. She wasn't running exactly, but for whatever reason she simply could not sit still on Doc's couch anymore and see those eyes stabbing into her.

"Anna! Hey, what- HEY!"

Once outside, she gripped the side of the truck bed and took a few deep breaths. But she couldn't seem to get enough air. On top of that, she felt silly for overreacting when Punz hadn't even said anything negative about it yet, but just the idea that she might was horrifying to her. She didn't want to feel this shame, didn't want to fall in the eyes of her girlfriend, the woman she had been expecting to take on many more dates. To take to their senior prom. To…

Growling, she brought her hand back, punching the metal with the palm of her hand. It hurt like a bitch, and tears sprang to her eyes. It wasn't from the pain. This whole afternoon had been a mistake.

"Anna!" Punz cried, finally catching up. She hovered, a little way away – she'd probably seen Anna's outburst and figured the safest place was not right next to the angry redhead. God. Yet one more thing she had to apologise for later. If Punz ever decided to speak to her again.

But Punz didn't say anything. She didn't move forward or back, either – she just stood there, watching Anna. Finally it became too much, and Anna croaked out an "I'm sorry…" that sounded so much more pathetic than it was.

"Oh God."

And there was the negative reaction. Anna squeezed her eyes shut, head falling to rest on her hands where they pressed against the car metal. "I'm sorry," she said again. It took a few seconds to get a reply, but Anna was grateful when she did. For a moment.

"That's- that's okay, Anna. I mean. She didn't know who you were, right? And it's not like anything… happened…" Silence. More was sinking in. "You- you said. At the lake…"

Still not looking, Anna nodded. What words could she give this moment? How could she explain it – her feelings, her mother's? So, she just whispered, one last time, "Sorry…"

She didn't see Jennifer leave, there were no further words. Just heard footsteps a minute or so later, then heard the distant sounds of someone being sick in the bushes off to one side of Doc's house. Of course, she could try to fool herself that it wasn't Punz, that it was coincidence…

'What did you expect?' she demanded of herself as she slumped on the hood of the car. After a few more sniffles, she forced herself to crawl into the truck cab. She couldn't drive yet, but she could at least close its doors and muffle the sounds of her sobs. 'Punz is not a complete freak like you are. She'd never do that. Nothing in the world could make her cross that line the way you did. So no wonder she thinks you're disgusting.'

The thoughts swirled around and around in her head as she beat her forehead against the steering wheel. Should she try to drive off, anyway? No, that would leave Punz without a ride. Doc might offer her a lift, but he was part of the madness; she might reject that. She might reject Anna and walk home after this was all said and done.

But finally, ten or twenty or who knew how many minutes later, the passenger door clicked open. Without looking up, she could tell Punz wasn't the same as she had been before they came to Doc's house. That they weren't the same.

"Um… I have homework… so… i-if you can't drive m-" A quiet retching noise. "If you can't drive me, it's okay. You look upset. I'm… I'll walk…"

"No, I can get you home," she sighed as she scrubbed at the tear tracks on her cheek, digging for her keys. She dropped them into the floorboard, then bumped her head when she tried to stoop down and retrieve them.

The tears came afresh. For the first time in her life, she cried in front of Punz and didn't feel arms around her right away. And the worst part is, there was no earthly way she could even be mad about it. What would she do if their places were reversed?

Finally, she did feel a hand in the middle of her back. "Sorry," was all Jennifer could offer for now. But it was strained, and real, and the word broke in the middle. She rarely said anything she didn't mean, so she must have really meant this small scrap of sympathy.

Anna simply nodded, starting the car. She was able to stop the tears from building at her eyes on the way there, however her entire drive home was spent sobbing, stopping on the side of the road each time it became a little too intense.

Of course, when she got home, she had to face it. Face Elsa herself.

                                          ~ o ~

"Anna?" she called out from the kitchen. Elsa, for her part, seemed to be in good spirits. Why wouldn't she be? From her perspective, everything had gone great that morning and there was no reason to believe otherwise. "How was band practice?"

No answer. Anna dragged herself into the bathroom to lock the door and sob some more. Even tried to throw up, like Punz had done, but it didn't really work. She wasn't disgusted, just sad.

A soft knock came a little while later. "Anna, honey… are you alright in there?"

"NO! Go away!" It was stupid to lash out at her for this, but she didn't have anything else to grab onto at the moment.

"Can you let me in?" The doorknob jiggled; Anna stayed where she was, sitting on the edge of the tub. "Alright… I'm sorry. I can go."

And she did. Anna let her, because she didn't know what she could say that wouldn't be accusing Elsa of things that weren't her fault. So she stayed in there, by herself, sobbing into a washcloth.

An hour later, she finally dragged herself into her bedroom. Elsa didn't come by right away, but about ten minutes after, a knock at the door frame announced her.

"Can I come in, or would you rather I not?"

"Sure," she groaned. By now, she was past the racking, all-over-the-body sobs and the screaming into her hands. Her heart still wanted those things but she didn't have the energy left. Nor the energy to feel anything when Elsa sat down next to her.

"Sweetheart… I'm right here. Tell me whatever you want, or don't. And you can say whatever you want to me; I think you know that by now."

"I fucked up, Mom," she said – and she very much felt like it was a mother she was talking to, not… anyone else. "Big time. And now-" She had to pause for a second, eyes filling with tears once again. Fuck, hadn't she finished yet? "Now Jennifer probably hates my guts and never- never wants to see me again…"

"Jennifer?" Despite her initial surprise, Elsa moved past it. She leaned in close, and Anna felt warm arms wrapping around her shoulders. Elsa said nothing else, either, letting Anna speak at her own pace.

"I told her," Anna said when finally she could. It had taken a few minutes to compose herself, and she still wasn't really 'put together'. It was enough. "I told her about Doc and the DeLorean. Took her to see him because I couldn't keep it a secret. Not- not from her..."

Elsa's hand gently rubbed Anna's arm, soothing her as she listened. She could probably already guess where Anna was going with this, but she still said nothing.

"And- and then I told her that you- I met you. In the past. And I'd said some other stuff before and she put two and two together… I fucked up. So bad, and I don't know what I can do to make it better…"

"Oh, Anna…" Her voice wasn't disappointed or angry. Just sad on her behalf. "I don't know that there was much point in telling her this suddenly… but… well, I understand." Then she leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "And Jennifer might too, given time. Or she might not. Even if she doesn't…"

When Elsa didn't finish right away, she bit out, "What? What if she doesn't, Mom? I just ruined the only good thing I had!"

"Well, I was going to say 'it's not the end of the world', but you made me realise that's going to feel pathetic in the face of what you've been through today." Another squeeze of reassurance. "Relationships face these challenges all the time. Your father and I had our ups and downs, and even if we aren't truly 'married' anymore… we're still committed to our family."

For another minute or so, Elsa just let Anna cry. Then she rolled over and buried her face in her mother's neck. To both of their surprise, she blubbered out something she hadn't said since she was probably five years old.

"Why can't I just marry you?"

At that, Elsa snorted. "Because it's against the law, Anna. On top of a few dozen other very good reasons."

"I know… but you understand me. Punz doesn't, she can't – not after all this crap. No other girl will, either!"

"I'm not a girl, though. I'm a woman. I'm your mother. Besides, I can be pretty high-maintenance sometimes." Anna let out a wet laugh, and Elsa petted up and down the back of her neck. "I try to understand you. That's my only secret: trying. If it's not Jennifer, then someone else will."

Again, Anna was wrapped in a gentle blanket of scents, warmth echoing up into her body from the soft form beneath her. Temptations flared up, and she was just about wrung-out enough to give in. But she wanted the gentle comfort of a mother's love more than she wanted that, and so she simply clung there, like Elsa was the last piece of driftwood keeping her from going under.

"C-can you stay here tonight?" she asked softly when finally her tears subsided and she felt about as empty as her life seemed. Elsa's arm paused, just a brief stutter.

"Anna… that isn't a good-"

"Please, Mom. Just… please…"

Elsa didn't say anything else; she resumed rubbing Anna's arm, though, pulling her just a little tighter. That was all either of them could manage anymore.

                                          TO BE CONTINUED…