#bradford clones
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thelostexperiment · 13 days ago
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The Life of Brian Buzzard
It started as a perfectly average day for the old buzzard. His routine ticked on as usual, wake up, get ready for the day, get coffee, drive to work. He could hear the car that stopped next to him at the light blaring Crane Carpenter’s ‘We’ve Only Just Begun’ through their opened window, even though the song isn’t as nearly as bad as the other modern trash kids are playing these days it still annoyed him no less have it drown out his quiet drive. Once the light turned green he wasted no time to get away from that car.
His work at S.H.U.S.H. Was just as uneventful if not a little taxing trying to balance the books with all the chaotic escapades they get into… especially with that philanthropist McDuck interfering with missions. That hurricane of a duck had been giving him a migraine ever since his first mission with S.H.U.S.H. Throwing his finances into a tizzy, giving him more messes to clean up, MORE WORK, and that’s just with his day job…
By evening, the buzzard had showed up at F.O.W.L. H.Q. with a briefcase of S.H.U.S.H. financial notes, not to share with his partner in crime, it was the leftover work of the day that he needed to finish on top of running F.O.W.L. from the shadows it seemed like there was no rest for him anymore. 
Things only became more restless once Black Heron burst into his office as manic as ever, “I’VE DONE IT! IT’S BRILLIANT I TELL YOU! THE SCHEME THAT WILL HAVE US RULING THE WORLD MWAHAHAHAH!”
The sudden ruckus caused the old buzzard’s pen to streak across the paper as he was shaken in his seat.
“Heron! Do you EVER knock!?” He asked, exasperated.
“Who has time to knock when evil is afoot?” she retorted while rubbing her hands together with minising glee. 
The old man was already beginning to tune her out as he looked at the runed paper with frustration. Maybe he could just white-out the imperfection and that that would be good enough… As he carefully fixed the paper and continued with the paperwork he could still hear her gabbing away about something involving the stone of what-was but he was too busy to pay attention while he was hunched over mantaling his work. He only gave her an off-handed “Mm… Mm-hmm” as acknowledgement, just hoping she’d leave him in peace soon.
Suddenly Heron’s bionic fist slammed down on the table, jolting him back to reality.
“Will you PLEASE pay attention to my evil schemes of world domination!?”
With a sigh he took off his glasses to rub the bridge of his beak, “How many times do I have to repeat myself, we do not do ‘evil schemes’ because we are NOT VILLAINS!”
Heron rolled her eyes, “Oh whatever, just listen to my-”
“Heron, please! I am far too busy to listen to your ideas right now.” He interrupted with his eyes still on the papers, “I'm already far behind schedule with these invoices. Could you pitch whatever you had in mind later?”
“But you always say that!” she complained and flopped her torso on the desk dramatically, “You’ve been too busy for any of my plans, it’s almost like you don’t want to take over the world.”
Her covering his work with her body only annoyed him more. “Of course I do but between S.H.U.S.H. and my work here I just don’t have time for anything else right now.”
“Hmmm… If only you could be in two places at once, riiiight?” She said as she craned her resting chin between her thumb and finger with a smug crooked grin.*
The buzzard sat in silence staring at her for a moment, now interested in where she was going with this but also dreading it too. “Yes… I suppose so…”
“Well now you can! We’ll just use the stone of what-was to clone you and let him worry about your boring day job while we take over the world!” She announced as she stood up straight and flung her arms in the air with pazazz.
“That sounds… like such a bad idea.” he replied exhaustedly, “It’s too unpredictable. How do we know it won’t turn evil or god forbid reveal my involvements with F.O.W.L.?”
“That’s the beauty of it, I will have your memories, your personality, It will know not to step out of line. And if it is flawed we’ll just replace it and make an example out of it to its replacement.”
He was still skeptical about the whole thing but she was very persuasive, this was all just giving him another headache on top of the pressure he was already under. “I… I need some time to think about it…”
“That’s not a ‘no’~!”
“It’s not a ‘Yes’ either!” He snapped, and pointed his pen at her accusingly “I meant it when I said I don’t want any unauthorized experiments, especially ones that involve me, do you understand?”
“Of course, Of course, I’ll give you your time to think.” She assuredly backed away with her hands up. She backed into the open doorway with a confident smile, “Let me know when you make a decision on my offer,” she slowly began to shut the door but she kept her head in his view and added, “When you’re not ‘too busy’...” and with that her head disappeared and the door completely closed.
He was finally left alone in the room. Despite that the ever present stress weighed heavy on his chest as he stared at the unfinished work. The old buzzard leaned forward burying his face in his hands,letting out another sigh, then leaned back in his chair with his eyes still closed. The room was getting stuffy, he could feel the moisture in the air become unbearable, it was getting hard to breathe…
He couldn't breathe.
His eyes could barely open but he couldn't see.
He couldn’t breathe!
HE CAN’T BREATH!
The buzzard clone inside the tank was finally ready to emerge and by the way it was pressing its hands against the glass it seemed eager to be out. The viscous fluid that drained from the tank finally lowered below his head, leaving it free to take his first breath.
It gasped, coughing and sputtering. It tried rubbing the fluid from his eyes but it was a fruitless endeavor, he was covered in the stuff. Finally the tank was fully drained and the hatch opened. The clone took his first steps into the cold air. He looked around the room for Black Heron furiously but couldn't see anything clearly through the fluid in his eyes.
“COUGH...Heron!" He weakly called out through a fit of coughs, “This is your doing isn't it!? I told you no unauthor—! COUGH–COUGH” Another fit of coughs made it impossible to chastise anyone properly.
With his outstretched arm he tried feeling his way around the room, trying not to show how frightened and confused he truly felt. His emotions were already raw but he was not about to give whoever might be watching the satisfaction of seeing him panic.
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kathren-is-here · 2 months ago
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they have all seen enough/j
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summerongrand · 6 months ago
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Lucy had THE PERFECT opportunity to create a UC nanny persona
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using Sava Wu's nanny alias "Karen" and she didn't 💔
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writebackatya · 1 year ago
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Black Heron: [monologuing to herself] Little do they know I have my own plans for these clones. Plans that don’t involve these shadowy figures at all!
Bradford: …You’re talking in a normal indoor speaking voice.
Black Heron: SO I AM!
Black Heron: …{whispers} Little do they know I have my own plans for-
Bradford: Heron, you’re walking on thin ice!
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locitapurplepink · 6 months ago
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Tim and Lucy's relationship reminds me of Anakin and Ahsoka sometimes but the difference are Tim and Lucy are working on it with their relationship especially Tim owns her a big time while Anakin and Ahsoka are like siblings but Ahsoka had to deal with Anakin's fate.
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memelordotherblog · 8 months ago
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Portis: You know how ask for DNA from you, Trudy, and Sylvester to study cloning?
Pete: ......What did you do now?
Portis: All I have to say is congratulations on being a parent again.
Pete: WHAT.
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justaboot · 2 years ago
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Choose violence ask game: #16 and #22?
16 - you can't understand why so many people like this thing
f...fin...fina...no, I shan't say.
22 - your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores
Scrooge has always known Bentina with her maiden name, Beakley, and never questioned when she showed up suddenly as "Mrs. Beakley," with a grandchild from a child he'd presumably never heard of.
Before the finale, I had a whole theory on how Webby's mother had fallen in with FOWL and was a big bad, and Beakley had to either eliminate or lock her away in some magical/crazy way, and she was left with Webby. I was kind of right?
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gamingstar26 · 2 years ago
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Edits and a small dump. Donald FOWL AU
Also the in universe reason why Jurakan and Yocahu have missing limbs, is because they were attached together when “born” and later separated.
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headspace-hotel · 1 year ago
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More complete list of ways that websites and books about gardening shamelessly misinform and confuse people
Using any combination of cultivar names, species names, genus names, and common names to refer to plants, leaving well-intentioned gardening noobs fighting for their lives in a lawless wasteland. Just look at this Better Homes and Gardens article on salvia.
Salvia is a genus of plants containing hundreds of species, including culinary sage, rosemary, and many species used as ornamentals. The Better Homes and Gardens list ruthlessly mixes common names for sage species with cultivar names, without giving the binomial Latin species name at all for a single one...
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...and refers to two totally different plants only as "purple sage" in the same listicle
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On that note, acting like "variety" is just as important as, or interchangeable with, "species." Just read an article that said "some varieties of this plant can be invasive, so make sure to check which ones are prohibited in your area!" No. NO. No specific cultivar of an invasive plant species is going to be non-invasive. In fact, introducing new cultivars of an invasive plant will make the invasive species problem WORSE because that's new genetic material. 'Bradford' pears are invasive in the US, 'Cleveland' pears are also invasive, because they're BOTH PYRUS CALLERYANA, but the website you're buying them off of doesn't SAY that, AUGHH
Referring to plants that are enthusiastic or aggressive growers as 'invasive.' I falsely believed so many native species were invasive simply because some dumbass article decided to call them "invasive" for the crime of being able to grow in a lawn. The same websites will turn around and say that a 100% virulent invasive species "can become aggressive in some gardens" WHSFDHHKKK???
Gardening books describing a gorgeous native flower that doesn't die instantly when you think a negative thought about it: "Invasive. Evil. Kill on sight." Gardening books describing one of the worst known invasive plant species in human history that's decimating ecosystems as we speak: "This plant can be a teensy weensy bit vigorous."
totally failing to explore what it means for a cultivar of a plant to be "sterile." Here's the thing. The 'Bradford' pear was supposed to be sterile, but it was not, the cultivar was just made up of clones of the same plant, and most plants can't fertilize themselves. When another cultivar of Pyrus calleryana is planted close to it, such as the 'Cleveland' pear, surprise surprise, THEY AREN'T STERILE.
IIRC it is possible to produce truly sterile cultivars by breeding a plant that can't make seeds/fruits and cloning those plants by vegetative propagation. A cultivar of cloned, genetically identical plants with completely unchanged reproductive ability is NOT STERILE, it is just banking on no other cultivars of the plant ever existing nearby. Which is deeply stupid.
Yes, "cultivars" (the names in single quotation marks next to the name of the plant in a nursery label) are generally just groups of clones of the same founding individual. I'm not a fan of cultivars because they're basically Petri dishes for breeding disease. E.g. The Emerald ash borer was able to so thoroughly decimate ash trees in the USA partly because the gene pool of planted ash trees in American cities was 2-3 individual trees big. Now ornamental boxwoods seem to be dying off en masse in my area, and the reasons are probably similar.
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puffyducks · 8 months ago
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Magical creatures and adventurers are too dangerous to be kept around, I think we should gather them all up and put them into just one location all together. This will surely not backfire on me later.
The finale of DuckTales (2017) is hilarious to me because while I do understand why FOWL made the choices they made, I just can’t help but think about the irony
Bradford: the world is in constant chaos on unpredictability!
Bradford: most of this is connected to Scrooge McDuck and his family!
Bradford: Scrooge’s family just keeps getting bigger and bigger and so does this problem!
Bradford: we must stop this!!
Bradford: now let’s achieve this by cloning Scrooge a daughter and making his already growing family even larger!
Black Heron: sounds good to me, I’m really just coming along for the ride
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cartoonsarelife11 · 4 months ago
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Re-designed May and June from DT17 because I felt those two deserved their own style than the default Webby-clone outfits.
Couldn't decide if I liked June better with the cap or not though, so ig there's two versions.
Headcanons and insane ramblings below :]
May:
May's butterfly accessory is a reference to Webby's beta design!!
Has Daisy's fashion sense
Loves knitting!! She knitted her sweater. Daisy taught her how to knit.
She has Donald's constant worrying and over-protectiveness
Is more laid-back and premeditated, but she still enjoys causing shenanigans with June
After the whole clone thing, May has a harder time adjusting to the new life, so she struggles getting used to genuine love. She knew Donald and Daisy cared about her, but never understood why, but she later realizes that she doesn't need a reason to be loved. There's a thing called unconditional love, which is something she never got from Bradford and Black Heron.
May enjoys horror stories. Lena likes taking her to watch horror movies with her and Webby.
June:
Chaotic, mischievous, energetic, rebellious
Inherited Donald's insane anger/temper
Loves using catchphrases!! She and Dewey are practically platonic soulmates.
Huge sports fan. Dewey got her into wrestling as well.
June loves her new family, so she gets really hates it when the triplets trash-talk about Donald, even if they're just joking/teasing.
Oh btw, I headcanon that Donald and Daisy adopted May and June. Donald introduced May and June to rock, and now both are obsessing over any rock music/songs. They also got middle names!! Daisy knew she should probably be the one to decide, since Donald chose "Dingus" for Dewey's middle name, so she wanted May and June to get normal every-day middle names. May is now May Katherine Duck, June is now June Elizabeth Duck.
A lot of these ideas/headcanons are from @alex31624 btw!
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thelostexperiment · 4 months ago
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The old buzzard-man's eyes began to flutter open again to a very familiar sight of sandstone walls and floors. He's sitting on the old couch that must have been left here from F.O.W.L. when they still ran this library. 
Oh dear, he must have dozed off again looking through files. The vulture lets out a lazy yawn before hearing, "Sleep well?" As he realized just who he'd been sleeping against... Again...
He straightened himself up rubbing his baggy old man eyes.
"Oh dear, I'm sorry, Brycen. This is becoming an awful habit."
The younger buzzard merely gave a polite smile to his older brother. "It's alright, Mr. B, I've started to get used to it."
"But still, it must be terribly inconvenient for you."
"I've mostly been reading up on these files while you were asleep anyway. I hope we can find something about you soon..."
Mr. Buzzard let out a sigh through his nostrils, he was beginning to wonder if there really *is* anything about him here. He decided to change the subject to something less frustrating.
"I had a very interesting dream, that our ages were switched and we were were frantically trying to reverse it somehow." He gave a tired chuckle, "I suppose that could never really happen though."
The younger brother grimaced at the thought, his face hardened a little before he shook the feeling away. "I wouldn't be too sure about that..." Then he gave the old man a curious glance. "Mr. B, would you want to become a younger man? That is if that's what you dream about..."
Mr. B just shrugged, "I'm not sure, I've never been young before as far as I know. Must be nice though, to have all that extra energy."
Brycen scoffed a little, "I don't have that much more, and I'm sure it'll be even less as the years roll on."
"Hmmm..." Mr. B thought it over a little more. "Maybe, I'd just to try it and see what it's like... If I don't like it I can always just wait for age to catch up with me again." He said with a little smirk...
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kathren-is-here · 3 days ago
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Buzzard sketch page! more of me talking about Bradford below!!
Been looking into star signs of fictional characters and they’re always somehow pretty dang accurate so!!! Uh here’s Bradford’s, and what I can get on him based on my initial interest with the making of Brass Mirror!
according to my definitely real calculations based on pure fact form the show /j he’s a Capricorn sun and a Pisces moon!!!! Which!!! Yeah that checks out for Bradford (if anyone was interested I made my Bradford’s birthday December 30th 19XX!)
what that means he’s by default Bradford (tm) , orderly, practical, have this self imposed responsibility for others, and ambitious. More on the self imposed responsibility, he’s more likely to worry and have anxiety around that, and can get overbearing with others or his work.
but on the other hand, the more secret part to Bradford is his moon sign, Pieces. Very emotional and influenced by his surroundings, and has quite the imagination! But this also could cause him to spiral deep if he’s not kept in check
…so Bradford is a little bit of his own cause of unease with certain things 😭😭😭 thanks to his youth, the part of him that latches on is his bad experiences, matched with his imagination, I just runs wild to the point that he’s gonna do something about it… and that just hangs on until adult hood, I wouldn’t be surprised if Bradford kept that spiraling thought about chaos during his schooling 😔
i do have other signs n stuff but this really just b a Bradford post huh/lh hdjshd I’ll maybe post about my new Brass ideas later and this new buzzard gal idea I have cooking in the back 🤔🤔🤔
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scottpetersen · 5 months ago
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Honestly, the more I think about it, the more I think that Donald really needed someone like Daisy in his life and May and June are probably really, really grateful to Donald for letting them accompany him on that boat trip at the end of the episode ‘The Last Adventure! Part 3: Tale’s End…’. After all, as shown in the episode ‘The Golden Spear!’, almost everyone else in Donald’s family really loved adventuring while he just wanted to relax. But, as shown in the episode ‘Louie’s Eleven!’, Daisy seems to be pretty grounded compared to most of Donald’s family. So, Donald would really enjoy having someone like her in his life even more for it. And as for why I think May and June are really, really for Donald letting them accompany him on that boat trip, May and June have been through a lot since, as shown in the episode ‘The Last Adventure! Part 2: The Lost Library Of Isabella Finch!’, they were clones who were treated badly by Black Heron and, as shown in the episode ‘The Last Adventure! Part 3: Tale’s End…’, who Bradford considered to be nothing but pawns to be cast aside. So, they probably needed a relaxing time away from it all.
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alex31624 · 9 months ago
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So, I saw a post about how May and June couldn't get the papyrus because they were clones of Webby and not Scrooge.
I have my own take on that.
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Rightful heir.
I'm sure Bradford took that literally, that's why he made Webby in first place. But, Scrooge said rightful heir, so, who could be a rightful heir?
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Some weird kids he never interacted before.
OR
Some adventurous kids who are…
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May and June never had a chance. It wouldn't matter from whom they were cloned. Scrooge didn't knew about they, they'll never be the rightful heir.
Webby became someone worth of the name McDuck. She earned it.
Basically, without this…
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This wouldn't have happened.
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cartoon-brainrot · 1 year ago
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Since there aren't many AU Asks in this Blog, Might as well ask for Child of Evil AU
Will Louie befriend any F.O.W.L Members? Including two clones May and June? Does Goldie bring Louie to adventures where she basically messes with Scrooge? (Call back to Golden Lagoon Episode) Can this Louie and Doofus Drake get along?
Oooh this is interesting!
Goldie does NOT trust F.O.W.L at all, so she tries her best to keep Louie away from anything that involves that group!
Now, regarding the clones, May and June, things are a bit more…complicated. The entire AU revolves around Goldie raising Louie with the help of the other villains, but the way Louie and Scrooge meet is…special :)
It ends with Scrooge thinking Louie is his son because they have the same eyes (and he calls Goldie ‘Mom’) so when Bradford gets the news, he doesn’t see any reason to use/make May and June! (It is implied in the series that May and June weren’t made at the same time as Webby, after all, but they were created after Black Heron grabs one of Webby’s feathers, and then modified with the missing mysteries)
With F.O.W.L thinking that Scrooge has a son, they just focus on trying to kidnap him, it’s not until the end that Bradford realises he was wrong!
And of course Goldie brings Louie along only if she knows it’s not dangerous- or if it’s something he could easily get out of on his own!
She doesn’t bring him to the Golden Lagoon, simply because she knows it would be too dangerous and she would spend more time worrying about her son than messing with Scrooge.
The adventure where Scrooge and Louie meet is off-canon, and it’s also when Louie meets Webby and befriends her!
Louie and Doofus don’t meet during the Only Child Day Episode simply because, well, Louie already is an only child. He befriended Webby at that point, so he doesn’t feel the need to have anymore friends.
Goldie brings him along during Doofus’ party, and that’s where they meet!
(This is probably how it went lmao)
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At the end of the episode, he still ends up introducing BOYD as Doofus’s brother, but it also ends with Louie and Doofus actually becoming friends!
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At least Louie won’t be staying inside 24/7 anymore, Goldie
With Louie’s brain and Doofus’s fortune these two will give Goldie grey hair
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