#brad thread; 01

[augustusellison]

"Josie, Ginny, slow down!" August called, making his way down the aisle, carefully pushing the stroller in front of him, Frankie - his youngest - tucked inside. He'd taken the girls to the store, having left his exes house just moments prior. He tried to do his best to take the girls out at least a few times a week, whether it be to the park, the grocery store or to any other place where they could stretch their legs without being in the confides of their own home. Sometimes he'd even take them to his house, but, seeing as how they didn't have nearly as much stuff there as they did in their home with Grace, that option was usually last on the list. This trip was no different; a quick trip to the store for some groceries, some diapers for Frankie, and he promised them a new set of coloring or storybooks this time, but their excitement to get there was evident as they darted up and down the aisle's, eagerly chasing one another giggling. Pausing, he called for them both, watching as they made their way towards him and he sighed. "We're going to the next aisle in a minute, girls, we have to get some rice first-" though his sentence was cut off, the girls giggling as they made their way to the next aisle out of their father's sight. It was instinct, but he took off, leaving his abandoned stroller behind - only for a second - but just enough that Frankie started to fuss, which only got louder when her father didn't take her out immediately. It took him just a second and with each girl's hand now in his, he moved onto the aisle, excusing himself past Brad - who he hadn't quite realized was the one standing there - he lifted, Frankie from the stroller, cuddling her. "i'm right here, princess." he cooed, kissing her forehead. "Those sister's of yours." he sighed, watching as the girl's held onto the stroller and he looked up, finally making eye contact with Brad. Here went nothing. @bradleymorrisx

[navyphillips]

Laughing at the other’s comment, Navy nodded. “That they did. Stopped practicing a few years later for reasons no one truly knows, but..” she shrugged, looking at him as she confessed that she’d nearly been in track, despite her shitty lungs. She’d always been an open book. She could carry on a conversation with a brick wall, honestly, that was no secret. But something about talking to Brad in this park made her want to open up. It made her want to say the things she was always too scared to say out loud, yet despite that urge, the push in her gut telling her it was okay, she allowed herself the moment to pause, pushing away any thoughts she had, instead letting the silence overcome them. It was - in it’s own way - comforting, a feeling Navy hadn’t felt outside of the members of her family in quite some time. Yet, the man’s voice brought her back and she offered him a smile. “You could pass for twenty eight easily.” she nodded. “Though I do feel a little better that your closer to my age than not; I know I look closer to forty than thirty.” she laughed, looking back over at him with a small smile, nodding at his comment about being the older sibling. “I’m thankful; I think it made me really responsible, but, honestly all that pressure.” she laughed again. “It’s a lot.” She refrained from stating the fact that her sister was no longer with her. The laugh that escaped her lips this time were genuine and Navy shrugged. “If you’re lucky it’s everyone; I can’t see why it wouldn’t be.” The man was attractive, there was no denying that, but to be so outward with it was something Navy hadn’t expected; first time for everything. The playful banter continued and Navy felt her cheeks blush as he complimented her. She’d always been confident in her looks but something about hearing the other say it made her stomach flutter just a little. She opened her mouth to thank him, hearing her phone buzz in her pocket. It was her parents, could’ve been anything, but, she knew they’d worry if she didn’t answer. “Excuse me for a moment.” she spoke, holding up a finger before she turned, speaking into the phone. The conversation was short lived - though it was obvious there was worry in her face once she hung up and turned around - and she exhaled, her attention refocused on the blonde in front of her. “I hate to be so abrupt, but, duty calls. She sighed, placing her phone in her pocket before she tightened her grip on Milo’s leash, watching as he stood, eager to keep moving. “Thank you again for saving this guy here.” she smiled, taking a few steps backwards. “And also, it was wonderful to meet you, Brad. Maybe I’ll see you around.” she smiled, turning her back towards him, walking away. @bradleymorrisx

THE END

For the first time in his life, or at least the first time since his ex had left him, Brad felt something deep within him regarding someone else. It was possibly the first time where he didn't automatically want to just sleep with a woman. No, he actually wanted to get to know her first. What the hell, was all he could think subconsciously, though a part of him knew at his age he should probably cool his heels with the way he would wine and done women. Between her laugh, her smile, and her eyes, he was drawn in and there was no going back. An expression of shock crept upon his face at the mention of how her doctor suggested it, "damn, that doc has some sick sense of humor." He shook his head before wincing regarding her knees, "looks like your knees were your saving grace there." This time he smiled and gestured towards her knees a bit, before his brow furrowed and he rose an eyebrow. "Oh?" He asked, wanting to make a witty and flirty comment but refrained from doing so, as he definitely wanted to actually get to know her first. As he wiped his forehead of some sweat from the heat of the sun, he laughed at her comment. "Oh please, there is no way I look twenty eight," he teased, playfully ribbing her, "though I will be taking that as a compliment and never letting my friends forget that I can pass as that age." His cheeks actually started to blush, something he hadn't realized until it was too late and his cheeks were a nice shade of pink. Make things a little awkward? He thought to himself, wondering what she meant, though he was hoping they'd see each other in some capacity passed this one interaction. Not just hope, a part of him needed to keep seeing her as random as that might be. Nodding, he smiled, "gotta love being the older sibling right?" He asked with a laugh, when in reality he didn't mind it. At least not now anyway, and hadn't for well over two decades. Looking down and kicking an errant pebble with the toe of his shoe, he bit his lip, "good to know, though now I'm going to be incredibly self conscious at work and wonder who's checking me out." He was only teasing, before adding, "Oh these?" He said and tugging on a very sweaty tank, "you should see me in actual clothes while walking Milo. Much more attractive." He felt silly but at the same time he almost felt a bit humbled and honestly he liked it. "Though a woman with a nice smile and great eyes who are weak in the knees, really does it for some people."

[ledenews]

Indy Edges Wheeling, 3-2, to Narrow Postseason Hopes

The Wheeling Nailers were close, but unfortunately, not close enough on Friday night, as they opened their three-game road trip at Indiana Farmers Coliseum with a clash against the Indy Fuel. Chase Lang's power-play goal at the 11:59 mark of the second period was the difference, as Indy edged Wheeling, 3-2, keeping the Nailers five points behind Fort Wayne for the final playoff spot in the Central Division. Lane Gilliss netted his first career goal in his pro debut for Wheeling. The Nailers played great for the majority of the first period, as they had a 1-0 lead with one minute remaining. However, two goals in ten seconds by Indy flipped the script, as the home team took a 2-1 advantage into the intermission. Wheeling got its goal with some terrific puck movement in the offensive zone. Davis Bunz tossed a shot on goal through traffic from the right point, which produced a rebound to the left circle. Lane Gilliss pounced on the loose puck and slammed in the goal - a great way to celebrate his pro debut. A power play strike got the Fuel on the board with 25 seconds left. Alex Wideman's attempt from the left side dribbled its way to the bottom of the right circle, where Max Golod powered a one-timer inside the right post. Ten seconds later, Logan Nijhoff dropped a pass to Andrew Bellant, who roofed a one-timer from the top of the right circle. The deficit remained at one in the middle frame, as both squads converted on power plays. The Nailers pulled even at the 2:37 mark. Samuel Tremblay forced his way deep on the left side of the offensive zone, and although his first try didn't go in, he quickly moved the puck to Sean Josling, who threaded in a shot from along the left side of the goal line. Indy went back in front with 8:01 remaining. Spencer Watson sent a pass from circle to circle for Luc Brown, who let a shot go from the left side. Chase Lang had his first tip ring off the right post, but he continued to bang away at the loose change, and eventually got the puck to trickle in over the line. Wheeling fought hard to try to find an equalizer in the third period, as the visitors held a 17-7 advantage in shots, and included 1:08 of 6-on-4 power play time at the end. The Fuel bent, but didn't break, and took the 3-2 final score into the win column. Zach Driscoll earned the victory in goal for Indy, as he thwarted away 29 of the 31 shots he faced, including all 17 attempts in the third. Brad Barone made 24 saves on 27 shots in goal for the Nailers. The Nailers will continue their three-game road weekend on Saturday at 7:35 against the Fort Wayne Komets, before making one final stop on Sunday at 5:15 against the Toledo Walleye. Wheeling will play a pair of home games next week. Education Day returns on Wednesday, March 8th at 10:45 a.m. against Toledo, and that game is sold out. Saturday, March 11th is Country Night at 7:10 against Fort Wayne, which features a live post-game concert by Jonathan Moody. Ticket packages and single-game tickets are available for the 2022-23 season by visiting wheelingnailers.com or calling (304) 234-GOAL. The Wheeling Nailers, considered one of the top things to do in Wheeling, West Virginia, provide affordable family entertainment for fans throughout the Ohio Valley. Read the full article

[wiinscme]

@roughn3ss

     “so i know it’s a lot to ask.” persephone scattered papers along the desk in brad’s room, some typed, some handwritten, all with massive sections scratched out entirely. arrows of different colors led one paragraph to another, sentences were highlighted, notes scribbled in the margins. “but can you help me read through some of this? i’m working on my essay for admission to grad school, and i figure i can probably multitask if i take classes during the day.”

[gatlingfever]

"Wow, i did it!" Happy as she was, luckily she's an automaton. Nikkes were originally mechanized, after all. Marian had learned something new today that is not related to Pioneers' bad influencing. Once she understand the basics of humanity, she will make Commander proud if ever here.

Marian later on took her phone back and the vendor was happy for her.

"What's your name?" Since he was there for not the whole time, she'd wanted to know him in return.

It's a good thing the vendor's there, Brad thinks as he watches from a short distance. Brad doesn't think he's very good at this kind of thing. Despite being a karate teacher for a while, nowadays he definitely wouldn't describe himself as someone you can trust to show you how to do things.

"Uh, yeah," Brad replies. "You got it."

Marian seems to be trusting him - at least for a few little exchanges of words. From where he stands, he can't see Marian's phone screen, but he sees the vendor finish up the transaction on their end and ask her if she'd like the receipt.

Hesitant to leave, but also feeling like he should, Brad's stepping to the side by the time Marian's done.

[dcmicns]

@bradley-bradshaw

Damien had Hopscotch’s head in his lap and a textbook nestled on top of the dog’s neck. He usually studied better at the counter, but the couch was more comfortable than the stools near the kitchen, and with so many hours of study-time he preferred comfort over logic. A few raps on the door signaled Hopscotch to jump off the couch and Damien soon followed suit. When he opened the door, Brad was on the other side of the threshold. “Peter’s not here. I know its his day off but maybe next time you should start at Ivy’s,” he said drily, but invited the younger boy into the room. “I think its babysitting duty, but you never know with those two...” his voice trailed off and he kicked the floor where carpet met wood. “Oh, if those are for here... Here, can I see what you brought? Put it on the counter,” he said, gesturing. 

[sightshot]

starter - @armstrongstyles​ 

Piper had never been to Cotes that much as she was only venturing the whole Fantasci around the corner until she encountered a burly bald and bearded man. It was not Piper’s business to bother him but he seemed to be quiet for a reason, possibly thinking about something like how can one return to their world, why were they here or how did they get in this place.

“You seemed to be quiet.” Piper made a breather, continued. “What seems to bother you, friend?”

[cxoliveira]

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[dallanebbia]

betsubara

title: betsubara fandom: bnha pariring: kacchako; bakugou katsuki x uraraka ochako word count: 3.9k (including text in posts) warnings: none synopsis: in which the u.a. test kitchen tries its hand at the whole youtube thing, and the internet collectively ships kacchako. bon appetit test kitchen au + socmed au notes: written for day 3 of kacchako week 2020, with the prompt ‘desserts & sweets.’ i know that BA has its share of problems, but i really wanted to write this after stumbling across ba test kitchen fanfics on ao3 and some social media aus on twitter… i have so much respect for people who make smau fics, i don’t know how you do it. ochako here is a bizarre mix of brad leone, solha el-waylly, liziqi and emmymadeinjapan, and bakguou…. is bakugou :’) ao3: [link]

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別腹 | betsubara (n.) – Japanese, second stomach for dessert

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Susan Anderson @susan.anderson – Jun 29, 2XXX My grandchildren said I would enjoy watching the UA test kitchen youtube channel, but I don’t know where to start. Can someone please give me some suggestions? Why do they change chefs in every video? 62 🗨️   133 ⭮   869k ♡

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↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jun 30, 2XXX Replying to @susan.anderson Hi Susan! I’m the kitchen manager for @ua_testkitchen, and I’d be happy to help! We have playlists for each of our web series on our YouTube channel, but I’ll do my best to explain each series below. 23 🗨️   241 ⭮   3.2k ♡

↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jun 30, 2XXX Hot Takes – If you don’t mind some occasional foul language, this is a very popular series! Chef @bakugoukatsuki demonstrates techniques on how to make Japanese staples, from omurice to hand cut soba. It’s extremely educational! 123 🗨️   213 ⭮   3.5k ♡

↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jun 30, 2XXX Bon Appetit – This series is all about French food, with Japanese twist! Chef @foreversparkling breaks down intimidating recipes like souffles, gougeres, and quiches for the amateur cook to try at home! 89 🗨️   165 ⭮   2.8k ♡

↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jun 30, 2XXX Farm to Table – If you’re interested in where your food comes from, this is a great choice! Chef @u_ochako shows viewers what it takes to grow and cultivate ingredients. She also delves into the science behind making things like kombucha, natto, and beer! 155 🗨️   188 ⭮   3.9k ♡

↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jun 30, 2XXX From Scratch – This is our only series with two hosts! We ask our chefs @shouto and @yaomomo to tackle the challenge of recreating popular junk food and snack items entirely from scratch. These can be anything, from your favorite candy to foreign staples like Twinkies! 102 🗨️   288 ⭮   2.7k ♡

↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jun 30, 2XXX 10 Chefs – This series asks ten of our @ua_testkitchen chefs to undergo a series of culinary challenges of varying difficulties. These can range from cutting a durian to cooking a live lobster! 48 🗨️   85 ⭮   1.4k ♡

↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jun 30, 2XXX The Great U.A. Bake Off – These are special videos that showcase U.A.’s biannual dessert competition! We invite renowned chef and television star @AllMight to join as our host and judge. Our resident pastry chef @satousugarman has held the title for the past four years! 99 🗨️   174 ⭮   2.1k ♡

↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jun 30, 2XXX We also film various instructional videos, which are not part of any particular series. These can be recipes or in-depth guides to various kitchen tools and appliances. Hopefully these give you a good place to start, and feel free to contact me if you have any other questions! 21 🗨️   98 ⭮   1.1k ♡

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↳ Susan Anderson @susan.anderson – Jul 01, 2XXX Thank you, Mr. Midoriya. I started watching Farm to Table, and I’m enjoying it a lot. I do have a question – I’m reading the comments, and there’s a cooking term I’m not familiar with. What is a “kacchako?” Is it a cooking appliance? 721 🗨️   2.1k ⭮   8.9k ♡

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↳ Just Call Me Midoriya (✓) @dekiru – Jul 02, 2XXX Replying to @susan.anderson … Um. 202 🗨️   4.3k ⭮   10.4k ♡

↳ jfc they’re actually clueless @hitoshinsou – Jul 02, 2XXX Replying to @susan.anderson and @dekiru yeah @dekiru, what is a kacchako? 180 🗨️   961 ⭮   2.9k ♡

… 331 more replies

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“Hey guys!” Uraraka waved cheerfully at the camera. “My name is Uraraka Ochako, and welcome back to Farm to Table, a show where we explore where our food comes from!” 

“For today’s episode, we’re going to be doing something a liiittle different.” On the counter was a pile of misshapen brown lumps, mottled with different black and brown spots. “On our cacao episode, a lot of you were a little… shall we say, disappointed with me, when I didn’t make chocolate out of a cacao pod.”

Uraraka’s smile turned icy, as a screenshot popped up on screen. She held up a little slip of paper from her hand and cleared her voice.

“ ‘Making chocolate isn’t easy,’ ” she read, widening her eyes for emphasis. “ ‘This girl has no idea what she’s talking about.’ ”

The dark, saccharine expression on her face never faltered as she ripped up the paper into tiny pieces, throwing bits over her shoulder.

“Now, I’m here to show you that actually, yes – making chocolate can be easy!” The hard smile was replaced by a warm grin. “My friends at Tokyo Cacao sent me some pods to work with, and lucky for us, they’re ripe and ready to go!” 

She beamed, picking up a pod and showing it off to the camera. “I’ll show you guys how to turn these bad boys into chocolate - and after that, I’m gonna share one of my favorite chocolate recipes with you!” 

Uraraka then grinned mischievously. “First things first – we gotta crack this little guy open.” Reaching under the countertop, she whipped out a gigantic chef’s knife. It was easily as long as Uraraka’s forearm, and the polished blade was engraved with two characters that clearly read, ‘Bakugou.’

A choking sound was heard off screen. 

“Holy shit Uraraka, you took it?!” A man popped into frame, gaping at the knife in Uraraka’s hand. “Dude, Bakugou’s been looking for that all morning - he’s going to kill you for real this time!” 

“Not if he doesn’t find out,” she said seriously, fixing the blonde man with a pointed look. “You’re not going to rat me out, are you, Kaminari?” 

“And get killed in his Baku-rage? No thanks.” He shivered, staring at the knife as if it was going to attack him. “At least you’ve got a chance of surviving.”

Uraraka laughed, rolling her eyes. “You’re acting like he’s going to eat you or something.” 

“You don’t know about poor Mineta,” Kaminari looked grave as he closed his eyes in a moment of silence, before scurrying out of frame. He called out, “If anyone, especially Bakubro, asks – I was never here!”  

“O… kay?... ” Uraraka blinked at the camera for a few moments and then shook her head in amusement. “Anyways, back to the topic – opening the pod! The rind is pretty thick and slippery, so be careful where you’re cutting! The best way is to set the edge of the knife in one of the grooves and give it a good whack, like this - !” 

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Pro Chef Makes Omurice | Hot Takes | U.A. Test Kitchen 3,439,062 views ･ August 29, 2XXX

To quote our favorite foul-mouthed chef: “Even a F***ing idiot can make omurice.” 

Join Bakugou Katsuki in the U.A. Test Kitchen as he makes a Japanese comfort food staple, omurice. This isn’t your average, amateur omurice omelette video - Bakugou breaks down the special tricks and techniques he uses to achieve the perfect taste, shape and texture. His recipe uses buttery chicken, fried… 

[SHOW MORE]

10,237 comments

hvf26 – 3 hours ago Japanese gordon ramsey 👍 2.7K   👎   REPLY ⯆ View 25 replies

TipTop – 2 hours ago new drinking game: take a shot every time you hear “fuck” EDIT: 13 shots in and 18 minutes left, i give up 👍 8.6K   👎   REPLY ⯆ View 93 replies

shroomaster3110 – 9 hours ago bakugou: “even a fucking idiot can make omurice” also bakugou: “veal stock, red wine, honey, tomato paste, reduce for 3 days” me: instant ramen it is 👍 749   👎   REPLY ⯆ View 8 replies

obsssd1992 – 6 hours ago hOoly fuck the sound uraraka made when she tasted it 👍 9.4K   👎   REPLY ⯆ View 155 replies

vulcanus – 3 hours ago 7:33 cracking two eggs at the same time with one hand he really be flexing on us huh 👍 233K   👎   REPLY

periperi – 10 hours ago 22:18 is it just me or does bakugou look like he’s blushing??? like, his ears are so so red 👍 5.1K   👎   REPLY ⯆ View 84 replies

dinovino44 – 7 hours ago “just fucking flip it” I blinked and that shit literally went from goo to an omelet HOW 👍 144   👎   REPLY ⯆ View 3 replies

Angela B – 8 hours ago I would love to try this but i dont want to waste 17 dozen eggs trying to make it properly 👍 3.7K   👎   REPLY ⯆ View 29 replies

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“Oh fuck, that’s good,” Bakugou groaned, mouth full as he chewed. The mango-coconut tart in front of him was dotted with swirls of candied orange peel as a garnish, but it did nothing to hide the fact that the entire thing was dusted with a liberal coating of violent red chili powder.

At his side, Uraraka beamed, sniffling a little from the pervasive scent of spice in the air. “I added some lime too, just to break up the richness – it’s not too sweet?”

“S’fucking perfect.” Bakugou scarfed down the last bite of the piece in his hand. He let out another long moan, the sound of it deep and guttural, and Uraraka’s eyes widened as she stared, her cheeks turning red. “Screw it, I’m eating this for lunch.”

“Eh?” Uraraka blinked, snapping out of her daze just as the tray was snatched from her workbench. “Wait, wait – Bakugou! Give it back, I haven’t even tasted it yet!”

“Pft, like you wouldn’t down a carton of milk after one bite,” he scoffed, holding the tart above his head and trying to fend off Uraraka with his free hand as she pulled at his arm. “Fucking get off, Uraraka, I – !”

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SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Aug 17, 2XXX alright since some of y’all are fucking BLIND here’s a list of every bakugou x uraraka moment on the u.a. test kitchen youtube channel (a thread) 184 🗨️   5.3k ⭮   12.6k ♡

↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Aug 17, 2XXX [01] the great u.a. Baking show, cheesecake: during taste tests bakugou hated every single person’s cheesecake EXCEPT uraraka’s peach and plum one. He said it was acceptable BUT THEN HE GOES BACK FOR ANOTHER PIECE 2 🗨️   229 ⭮   10.4k ♡

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↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Oct 28, 2XXX [33] farm to table, jicama/watermelon: bakugou says there isn’t enough heat in the dipping sauce during taste tests, uraraka then pulls out the extra spicy version she made just for him and bakugou looks flabbergasted when he tries it and then HE TAKES THE SAUCE HOME 10 🗨️   121 ⭮   2.4k ♡

↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Nov 01, 2XXX [34] from scratch, shrimp chips: at 14:53 you can see bakugou and uraraka in the background working on something together and when aoyama comes in waving around a whisk like a madman bakugou PUTS HIS ARM AROUND HER WAIST AND PULLS HER OUT OF THE WAY 15 🗨️   146 ⭮   2k ♡

↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Nov 01, 2XXX [35] from scratch, shrimp chips: when uraraka’s taste testing the final versions, she tells bakugou to come and try them. Bakugou grabs the chip she’s eating out of her hand and takes a bite AND THEN STUFFS IT BACK IN HER MOUTH BEFORE WALKING AWAY 29 🗨️   132 ⭮   2.4k ♡

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↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Jan 11, 2XXX [69] hot takes, udon: bakugou says he’s only doing this video because someone said he had to, and uraraka mouths at the camera “he can’t say no to me” and bakugou sees her doing it but just rolls his eyes HE DOESN’T DENY IT 34 🗨️   204 ⭮   1.8k ♡

↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Jan 11, 2XXX [70] hot takes, udon: bakugou’s testing the dough consistency and yells at uraraka to come over so he can compare it TO HER CHEEKS and the man no cap says “not soft enough, it needs more pounding” and the blush on her face AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 119 🗨️   451 ⭮   3.6k ♡

↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Jan 24, 2XXX [71] the great u.a. bake off, pavlovas: honestly just take this entire episode as proof you can FEEL the tension through the screen my god. the way they’re play-fighting/flirting throughout the episode jesus fucking christ the flavor is immaculate 85 🗨️   154 ⭮   2.1k ♡

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↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Mar 01, 2XXX [82] bon appetit, coq au vin: aoyama asks uraraka for help and bakugou literally spends the entire video glaring at aoyama from the background and ochako mouths “I’m almost done katsuki” at 15:43 SHE USES HIS FIRST NAME 26 🗨️   98 ⭮   1.9k ♡

↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Mar 09, 2XXX [83] hot takes, takoyaki: uraraka asks bakugou to taste test a smoothie for her and he goes, “the one you made yesterday was better” but later he says something about hating Mondays WHICH MEANS HE AND URARAKA WERE TOGETHER OVER THE WEEKEND 37 🗨️   159 ⭮   2k ♡

… 13 more replies

↳ teatime @kabedondon – 6h Replying to @retrograade the detail in this thread is scary but even more concerning is the fact that you’ve somehow managed to convince me, at the very minimum, that they’re fucking 13 🗨️   1.1k ⭮   4k ♡

↳ SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – 4h Replying to @kabedondon welcome to the club, hope you enjoy your stay 21 🗨️   59 ⭮   573 ♡

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Todoroki stared down at the gooey, green-streaked mess of chocolate in front of him mournfully. At his side, Yaoyorozu looked equally despondent, poking at the dull sheen of dark chocolate covering the biscuit in her hand. 

“Should we…?” Todoroki glanced over hesitantly, and Yaoyorozu bit her lip. 

“I was really hoping we’d get it this time.” She sighed heavily, before turning around. The camera zoomed out, the frame widening to show a few people milling around in the background. “Uraraka! Do you have a moment?” 

A chirpy voice replied, “Sure!” Todoroki visibly sighed in relief, quickly dumping his mixing bowl into the sink of dirty dishes as Uraraka came into the shot. 

“Huh, that’s definitely not right…” The brunette poked Yaoyorozu’s chocolate mixture with a frown. “What temperature did you heat this to?” 

“45 degrees?” Uraraka hummed, scooping up a bit of the mixture and dumping it into her hand. She rubbed at it, frowning. “What did you use as your seeded chocolate?” 

Todoroki slid the half-empty bag of chocolate chips across the counter, and Uraraka dumped a pile of them out. Little disks spilled across the marble, and she tested one piece between her clean fingers. “Uh, you know that you’re supposed to use tempered chocolate to seed, right?” 

Todoroki opened his mouth, paused, then closed it abruptly. Yaoyorozu buried her face in her hands and audibly groaned.

“Hey, the good news is that you can totally reuse this!” Uraraka tried to smile encouragingly. “Did the matcha chocolate come out weird too, or –?”

“Oi, what the fuck is this?” The camera panned to the side, where Bakugou was holding up Todoroki’s abandoned mixing bowl in a fist, features twisted into a grimace. “Did all those e-cigs fry your brain, Half-and-half? Who the fuck doesn’t sift matcha before –” 

“Hey, lay off of him, Bakugou.” Uraraka stomped over and snatched the bowl away. “Tempering is hard! And you know white chocolate is tricky.” 

“Tch, please.” He scoffed. “What kind of idiot can’t temper chocolate?” 

Uraraka’s eyes flashed, and she planted her arms on her waist. “Have you ever tempered chocolate before?” 

“What kind of dumbass question is that?” Bakugou growled. “Course I have, I didn’t live under a fucking rock like these two morons.” 

Yaoyorozu bristled indignantly, but Uraraka held up her hand. Todoroki just looked tired, and muttered under his breath, “Here we go again…”

“Then you wouldn’t mind giving us a demonstration, would you?” Bakugou looked at her sweet, smiling face suspiciously. “Or are you too chicken to prove it?”

Red eyes flashed dangerously. “... the fuck did you just say?”

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The video cut to a shot of lumpy, melted white goo, before zooming out to show Bakugou’s scowl. “What the fuck is wrong with this shitty chocolate?” He kept stirring, even more vigorously this time, and looked down at the mixture as if he was trying to set it on fire with his glare.

Todoroki and Yaoyorozu were tucked a little ways away, snickering quietly as they watched from a safe distance away. Across from Bakugou, leaning casually against the counter, Uraraka smiled gleefully.

“Hur-dur, ‘what kind of idiot can’t temper chocolate?’ ” she mimicked, her voice lowered in an approximation of the blonde’s low growl. Uraraka laughed, and then ducked as a chocolate-covered spatula sailed over her head.

“FUCK OFF, ROUND FACE!” 

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smolbean678 reblogged kryssalys ochaakou:

reasons you should stan uraraka ochako, u.a.’s farming goddess and resident bakugou whisperer:

- has probably saved about half of the “from scratch” episodes by virtue of being the only person in the entire u.a. test kitchen who can consistently temper chocolate

- speaking of chocolate, this woman pulled the hardest flex by making her own chocolate from a raw cacao pod, and then proceeded to make chocolate chicken mole with it just to prove to the haters that she could 

- is the acting president of the musutafu ninniclub, a japanese club for lovers of garlic. she also openly admits to sleeping with a ninnikyun plushie, aka the club mascot which is apparently a giant garlic clove (seriously, you can’t make this shit up guys)

- vocal advocate of Feeding Japan, a hunger relief organization that works to combat food insecurity, and is frequently seen volunteering at food banks and soup kitchens (1) (2) (3) (4)

- a lot of the ingredients she features in the “farm to table” series come from her parent’s farm! (pics) she grew up working at her parents’ stall at her hometown farmer’s market and promotes buying locally to support regional farms and businesses.

- this masterpiece of a tweet: “I love food and I love to eat. If someone wants to shame me for my body then they can go fuck themselves.”

- creates recipes that not only taste good but are also healthy, quick, easy and beginner friendly – yes, I’m looking at you, mr. bakugou “just fucking flip it and reduce for 3 days” katsuki – see the archive of her recipes here (x)

- has a tiktok dedicated entirely to trolling todoroki’s reactions with weird flavors of soba, these are my favorites (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7)

- she’s a self-taught chef who started as a dishwasher and worked up to being the sous chef at ryuko tatsuma’s restaurant dragoon before coming to the u.a. test kitchen and was regularly praised by food critics (1) (2) (3) (4) (5)

- has single-handedly saved u.a. millions of yen from that one time she stopped bakugou from ‘accidentally’ exploding an air fryer

- speaks fluent baku-rage, not to mention their chemistry is off the charts hoO BOY the slow burn is fucking real y’all

alright there’s so much more stuff but I fucking hate formatting links, so watch farm to table and follow uraraka on social media (twitter / instagram / tiktok) because this queen deserves our love. thanks for coming to my ted talk.

hoooooot-hoot:

[link] to the twitter thread for my fellow kacchako shippers, i gotchu

54,230 notes #ua test kitchen #kacchako #stan uraraka #bakugou better worship our queen or im gonna throw hands

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“Ugh.” Uraraka glared down at the sad, deflated lumps sitting in the middle of her ramekins. “Where is Aoyama when you need him?” 

“That looks pathetic,” a blunt voice said, and Uraraka sighed as Bakugou came into the camera frame, leaning over the counter to peer into one cup with a skeptical look. “What the hell are you making?” 

“Well, it’s supposed to be a pistachio-strawberry souffle.” She huffed, rubbing at her neck in frustration. “I can’t figure out how to get the nuts to distribute evenly… and it’s just not rising? I don’t get it – I remade my pastry cream like, three times, I know it’s fine, and I buttered my molds but it just…”

“You try freezing the molds after you butter them?” A frown came over Uraraka’s face as she shook her head. Bakugou grabbed one of the little cups, prodding the contents with a finger, and made a face. “Keeps it from contaminating your mixture and fucking up the rise.”

“When I make them at home, they’re usually fine at room temp,” she said dejectedly. “I don’t know why I can’t get it right today.” 

The camera zoomed in a little, focusing on Bakugou’s expression as he glanced towards Uraraka. He looked a little concerned, and after a beat of silence, he came around the counter to stand beside her.

“Oi, don’t get all mopey on me, Cheeks.” He nudged her shoulder lightly, settling a hand across the back of Uraraka’s neck. “You good?” 

She sighed heavily, leaning a little into his hand. “Yeah, yeah, I just… I don’t know. My brain isn’t working right now.” 

“Tch.” Bakugou looked over the mess of bowls spread across the counter, eyes settling on the deflated looking egg-whites on one side. “Look – I’ll help ya out, just this once. Don’t quit on me now, yeah?

She blinked, looking up at him with furrowed brows. “But I thought… don’t you have that thing, with –”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. This is more important,” he said, shrugging off his leather jacket and rolling up his sleeves. Uraraka just looked back at him in confusion. 

“But…” She bit her lip hesitantly. “Are you sure?” 

“Yeah.” Bakugou smirked back at her as he tied on his apron. “I got you, Cheeks.” 

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[Video: Todoroki, frozen in place with blank eyes and noodles falling out of his mouth as someone shakes his unresponsive body]

u_ochako: i… may have made chocolate flavored soba. PLEASE DON’T CRY TODOROKI #imsorry ♡ 137.4K   🗨️ 3251 

trololoki: holy shit he actually looks like he’s about to cry View replies (157) ⯆ 

augusttine: can we all agree that what makes this 10x funnier is bakugou’s hyena cackling in the background View replies (209) ⯆ 

u_24: this is soba-sphemous View replies (54) ⯆ 

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Uraraka rubbed her eyes, blinking as she gaped.

“You…” She looked up at him, chin trembling. “Did you really…?”

“Tch.” Bakugou huffed, trying to hide a smile. “What, your eyes don’t work now, Cheeks?” he teased. 

“I just - ” Uraraka pinched herself, yelping at the pain, before a huge, toothy smile broke out across her face. “Oh my god, I can’t believe you actually did it.” 

“You did get on your knees and beg, so…” He shrugged, snickering as Uraraka approached the counter reverently, her face glowing in sheer joy. “Ten kinds of mochi, as fuckin’ promised.”

She turned to him pleadingly. “Can I…?” 

“I already took the photos.” He nodded at the spread, a rainbow of different colors delicately arranged with a pot of tea, ready to be eaten. “Go for it, babygirl.”

Uraraka already had a daifuku mochi halfway to her mouth, lips open as she got ready to take a bite, when an unfamiliar voice cut into the video. 

“Wait a second.” Both of them paused to look at the camera in confusion. “Did he just call you babygirl?” 

There was a beat of silence, before Uraraka’s face exploded into a bright red blush. Next to her, Bakugou quietly muttered, “Fuck.”

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[Photo: an image featuring white sheets and pillows, a woman’s bare upper back, and messy brown hair with a woman’s face half-buried in a pillow]

Liked by dekiru, redkiri, and 541,803 others bakugoukatsuki: delicious u_ochako: UM bakugoukatsuki: @u_ochako did i lie though shouto: thank god fucking finally View all 6,248 comments

3 HOURS AGO

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SHIP KACCHAKO @retrograade – Jun 04, 2XXX RT @marsali: I. FUCKING. CALLED. IT. 

THIS IS WHAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF @marsali – 21m @retrograade THE SHIP HAS SAILED I REPEAT THE SHIP HAS SAILED #kacchako [media attached]

42 🗨️   3.8k ⭮   8.7k ♡

[spy-in-the-house]

SPY IN THE HOUSE_radio SpyInTheHouse 674.fm Podcast 040 23112020

One more SpyInTheHouse journey into sound … that was Spyinthehouse‘s “WINTER EDITION  #2.0/ NOVEMBER 2020”, celebrating “29 YEARS OF PSYCHO THRILL COLOGNE prt.1″, compiled and mixed by the label’s boss-man Claus Bachor hinmself via 674.fm web-broadcast and live-streaming…  THAT TRACK LISTING so far … 01 SCAN 7 [LOU ROBINSON] feat. AARON CARL: 4 Types Of People _ Message Vox [ B2-track from "4 Types Of People" Wallshaker Music WMAC33 US 12" | 2010 ] 02 MIKE GRANT pres. COOL PEEPLE [BRIAN GARRETT, MALIK ALSTON, SKY COVINGTON]: Sharevari (Remix) [ A-side from Moods & Grooves MG-026 US Promo-WL-10"  | 2004 ] 03 BYRON THE AQUARIUS [BYRON BLAYLOCK]: Space & Time [ A2-track from "Ambrosia" Axis AX-091 US 2x12"  | 2020 ] 04 ANDRÉ LODEMANN: Flying [ A-side from "E-Movement" Moods & Grooves MG028 US Promo-WL-12"  | 2004 ] 05 BRAD PETERSON: Deepness Is A Way Of Life [ A1-track from "Excerpt From A Deep Soul's Diary" Moods & Grooves MG030 US Promo-WL-12"  | 2004 ] 06 RICK WADE: Summer Nights [ A-side from "Night Phases" Moods & Grooves MG-032 US 12"  | 2005 ] 07 BRAD PETERSON: All I See Is Luv [ B1-track from "Excerpt From A Deep Soul's Diary" Moods & Grooves MG030 US Promo-WL-12"  | 2004 ] 09 E.B.E. [LUCAS RODENBUSH]: Going Home [ A-side from "The Incidental Tourist" Grayhound Recordings 011 US 12"  | 1999 ] 10 SCAN 7 [LOU ROBINSON] feat. AARON CARL: 4 Types Of People _ Original Mix [ A1-track from "4 Types Of People" Wallshaker Music WMAC33 US 12" | 2010 ] 11 DJ RASOUL [GUY NADO]: Love's Theme (Climax) [ A-side from "Love's Theme" Grayhound Recordings 007 12"  | 1999 ] 12 GARY MARTIN: Jennifer [ A-side from "Jennifer EP" Moods & Grooves MG040 US Promo-WL-12"  | 2008 ] 13 SONS OF THE DRAGON [STEPHEN HITCHELL]: Journey Of Qui Nui _ Cv313'S [The D Mix] [ A-side from echospace [detroit] ECHOSPACE 313-LE-2 US 12"  | 2009 ] 14 GARY MARTIN: Good With The Bad [ B2-track from "Jennifer EP" Moods & Grooves MG040 US Promo-WL-12"  | 2008 ] 15 DAVID HOLMES: Minus 61 In Detroit [ A-side from "Minus 61 In Detroit" Go! Discs GODX 129 UK 12"  | 1995 ] 16 SEAN DEASON: Within Within _ Vaporbass/ Mark Gage Mix [ B-side from "Within" Matrix mr1016 US 12"  | 1996 ] 17 ANTFACTOR [ANTHONY GALANTE]: Lineup [ B1-track from "Antfactor / Pocketpool" EP Spelunk Recordings SPR-003 US Promo-WL-12"  | 1997 ] 18 CONVEXTION [GERARD HANSON]: Ebulience [ A-side from "Convextion 2" Matrix MATRIX4 US 12"  | 1997 ]   19 SUBURBAN KNIGHT [JAMES PENNINGTON]: Species [ B1-track from "Species / Intel Bombs" Detroit Techno Records DTRV 004 US Promo-WL-12" / Detroit Threads | 2020 ] 20 LOS HERMANOS [GERALD MITCHELL & friends]: A Deeper Presence [ B1-track from "On Another Level" Submerge Recordings SUBLP-3009-1 US 2x12"  | 2005 ] 21 SANTIAGO SALAZAR: Smile Now, Cry Later [ B1-track from "Smile Now, Cry Later" Seventh Sign Recordings 7SR022 UK 12"  | 2011 ] 22 LOS HERMANOS: The Very Existence [ A2-track from "On Another Level" Submerge Recordings SUBLP-3009-1 US 2x12"  | 2005 ] 23 SANTIAGO SALAZAR: The Battle Within [ B2-track from "Smile Now, Cry Later" Seventh Sign Recordings 7SR022 UK 12"  | 2011 ] 24 DVS1 [ZAK KHUTORETSKY]: Evolve [ A-side from "Evolve / Submerge" HUSH 001 US 12" / Detroit Threads | 2011 ] 25 BODY MECHANIC [MOLLISON FOLSON]: Fat Boys [ A2-track from "V.A." Cryovac Recordings 024 US Promo-12" / Detroit Threads  | 2020 ] 26 SMACS & PATRICK KONG: Innocence _ Original Mix [ A-side from "Innocence" Superdisko Recordings SUPERDISKO 06 A Promo-12"  / MSR-Distro | 2011 ] 27 SAMI KOIVIKKO: Tonalite [ B2-track from "Sapphire" Spectral Sound SPC-061 US Promo-12" / KOMPAKT Distr. | 2008 ] 28 FREQ [SEAN DEASON]: With A Vengeance _ K-Hand Remix [ B-side from "With A Vengeance" Matrix MATRIX3 US 12"  | 1997 ] 29 JASON GARCIA: Down Like  [ A1-track from "V.A." Cryovac Recordings 024 US Promo-12" / Detroit Threads  | 2020 ] 30 SEAN TATE: A Matter Of Liberation [ B2-track from "RWYS pres. Tribute To Anfray Brown aka Erotek" RWYS 003 / Detroit Techno Records / MSR-Distro US Promo-12"  | 2020 ] 31 STEVE STOLL: Left Of Center [ D-side from "The Dark Man" Delirium Red 005 GER 2x10"  | 1994 ] 32 6K [PHILIP INGRAM-SMITH & STEVEN McCONNELL]: Untitled [ A2-track from "Sweet & Sour" Matrix MR1013 US 12"  | 1996 ] 33 STEVE STOLL: Strange Devices [ C-side from "The Dark Man" Delirium Red 005 GER 2x10"  | 1994 ] 34 6K: Untitled [ B2-track from "Sweet & Sour" Matrix MR1013 US 12"  | 1996 ] 35 STEVE STOLL: My Shadow [ A-side from "The Dark Man" Delirium Red 005 GER 2x10"  | 1994 ] 36 LUKE SLATER: Ressembled 7 [ D-side from "Berghain Fünfzehn" Ostgut Ton 127 GER 2x12" / KOMPAKT  | 2020 ] 37 ADULT [ADAM LEE MILLER, NICOLA KUPERUS, SAMUEL CONSIGLIO]: Nausea _ Mega-Blend [ A-side from "Nausea" Ersatz Audio EZ-014 US Promo-WL-12"  | 2000 ] 38 LUKE SLATER: Ressembled 6 [ C2-track from "Berghain Fünfzehn" Ostgut Ton 127 GER 2x12" / KOMPAKT  | 2020 ] 39 SEAN TATE & ACID CYBORG: Sonic Relations [ A1-track from "RWYS pres. Tribute To Andray Brown aka Erotek" RWYS 003 / Detroit Techno Records / MSR-Distro US Promo-12"  | 2020 ] 40 POSATRONIX [WILLIAM 'BJ' SMITH]: Skake Dat Thang [ A-side from "Hood Related" Cratesavers Muzik CS-005 US 12"  | 2007 ] 41 DJ MARQUIS [MARQUIS WILLIAMS]: This Is Now _ Mark Flash Remix [ A2-track from "This Is Now / Detroit Party" Upstart USR 002 US Promo-12"  | 2000 ] 42 BRANDON CALLOWAY: Yo Dray!!! [ A2-track from "RWYS pres. Tribute To Anfray Brown aka Erotek" RWYS 003 / Detroit Techno Records / MSR-Distro US Promo-12"  | 2020 ] 43 POSATRONIX: Critics [ B-side from "Hood Related" Cratesavers Muzik CS-005 US 12"  | 2007 ] 44 ACID CYBORG & SEAN TATE: Spider Webs [ A3-track from RWYS pres. Tribute To Anfray Brown aka Erotek" RWYS 003 / Detroit Techno Records / MSR-Distro US Promo-12"  | 2020 ] 45 ELECTRONIC CORPORATION [MAS 2008/ IVE MÜLLER & RENÉ KIRCHNER]: Elektromechanik [ B1-track from "N'Coded Tracks" Electronic Corporation ‎– ELCO 01.0 / Neuton GER Promo-12"  | 2000 ] 46 DELTA [NATHANAEL HERES]: De-Escalation Of Time _ Part II Edit [ A-side from "Sex Implosion" Electron Industries TRON 4 UK Promo-12"  | 1996 ] 47 ELECTRONIC CORPORATION: Save Your Life [ A1-track from "Construction Deconstruction" Electronic Corporation ELCO03.1 GER Promo-2x12" / Neuton | 2001 ] 48 THE FREEEK [THOMAS P.HECKMANN]: Martian Leaders O.E. [ A-side from "Martian Leaders" Electrocute ECS 1202 GER Promo-WL-12" / Formic | 1998 ] 49 ELECTRONIC CORPORATION: The Forbidden Zone [ C2-track from "Construction Deconstruction" Electronic Corporation ELCO03.1 GER Promo-2x12" / Neuton | 2001 ] 50 THE RARE BREED [REGIS/ CARL O'CONNOR & CHRISTIAN WÜNSCH]: Reason Doesn't Sleep [ C1-track from "The Future is Fixed" Tsunami Records TSU 050 ESP 2x12"  | 2020 ] 51 [MOLLISON] FOLSON & [SEAN] TATE: Gorilla Pussy [ B1-track from RWYS pres. Tribute To Anfray Brown aka Erotek" RWYS 003 / Detroit Techno Records / MSR-Distro US Promo-12"  | 2020 ] 52 SEM [DAMON BAXTER]: Area 5 [ A-side from "The Demon EP" Electron Industries TRON 7 UK Promo-2x12"  | 1996 ] 53 CARBON BOYS [STEVE STOLL & JÖRG W.HENZE]: Decoder _ Full Metal Version [ A-side from "Decoder EP" Proper N.Y.C. PROPS 024 US 12"  | 1998 ] 54 SYCUM: Decoded [ A-side from "Speicher 116" KOMPAKT Extra 116 GER Promo-WL-12" | 2020 ] 55 RANDOM AUDIO [RONNY METZGER]: Fourier Transmatic [ A1-track from "Hologram EP" Blueform mtd.blueform 001 GER Promo-12"  | 2012 ] 56 RANDOM AUDIO: Calculation [ B1-side from "Signal To Mysterious" Blueform mtd.blueform 002 GER Promo-12" | 2012 ] 57 RANDOM AUDIO: The Model [ B1-track from "Hologram EP" Blueform mtd.blueform 001 GER Promo-12" | 2012 ] 58 BYRON THE AQUARIUS: Timeless [ D1-track from "Ambrosia" Axis AX-091 US 2x12"  | 2020 ]  SpyInTheHouse_Vimeo_stream ll  YouTube  ll  SITH_Archives ll  674.fm

[acab-1312]

Good Morning!

I’ve just added to the list of links. Here is the new, full list: 

Websites that in general are good resources: http://www.pb-resources.com/index.html?fbclid=IwAR3OjhUZcrZQssfi3Vj26nNO9hRj1p3f9K4Sh

xXGXwokBtzmWlZFBjyu6kA

https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co

An incredible Essay written by a former police officer: https://medium.com/@OfcrACab/confessions-of-a-former-bastard-cop-bb14d17bc759

An Article on Police Misconduct: https://www.knoxnews.com/in-depth/news/investigations/2019/04/24/usa-today-revealing-misconduct-records-police-cops/3223984002/?fbclid=IwAR0t0ZypurwC8CfPEmE5gHR1M5lg9aZJNbekl3uq1fVOJdsNFWLcJIQNOug

Mapping Police Violence: https://mappingpoliceviolence.org/?fbclid=IwAR2lpG46s1w8bJul3ETe2LSCV3PHqsmTPjaygaI2bNKETvrLQ4za0ZjQ2yo

State-by-state documentation of Police Brutality: https://github.com/2020PB/police-brutality?fbclid=IwAR3d1XUxQZzrRBjDgCIGxz-XmLMELpSTeIveyHTkZJTuZERCNa7L-IZ3ZHI

What does “ACAB” mean?: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10222303477518150&set=a.3563374365356&type=3&theater

“Appalling images from George Floyd protest show Cleveland police are far from reformed”: https://www.cleveland.com/opinion/2020/07/appalling-images-from-george-floyd-protest-show-cleveland-police-are-far-from-reformed.html?fbclid=IwAR1ZPBgeNdwKRPpN6MFf_GlY-m9mazJsaxXF6enuzzkQPDSEXhnNUO9ghNc

“Police Violated Human Rights of George Floyd Protesters 125 Times: Amnesty International”: https://www.newsweek.com/amnesty-documents-police-violence-map-1512536?fbclid=IwAR2-4jB_ssOTxNq8_fLz9c7Z7k7szX1J0okJlMAIMafDgPUojzoezSDM2dU

2019 Cleveland Budget Book: http://www.city.cleveland.oh.us/sites/default/files/forms_publications/2019BudgetBook.pdf?fbclid=IwAR0c1CWAaBzjP2_STBdbtCwns0l6dXh4qey01TFbfz09-iSZmNkUEpHSwzQ

“Sacramento sheriff investigating video that shows deputy kick man during arrest”: https://www.abc10.com/article/news/local/sacramento/sacramento-county-sheriffs-office-launches-excessive-force-investigation/103-80227c9d-0447-4233-bfdc-ddd2255a5a6f?fbclid=IwAR1D3K0OFNKhpTvHGCPmESYBCJdr9YNxEkCixt5UwwNCaGZkt-k4WgjSXE4

“Yes, we literally mean abolish the police”:https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/12/opinion/sunday/floyd-abolish-defund-police.html?fbclid=IwAR0bnTr18UheXP36Cb5bacudCQHzWioalNyL9Ct0YoZqt2nNyAGi12Dq4n8#click=https://t.co/e4dUEOQy2h

“4 Cleveland police officers fired for drinking in a bar during their shifts while in uniform”: https://www.cleveland19.com/2020/06/18/police-union-cleveland-officers-being-fired-allegedly-drinking-while-duty/?fbclid=IwAR2-4jB_ssOTxNq8_fLz9c7Z7k7szX1J0okJlMAIMafDgPUojzoezSDM2dU

“Baltimore Cops Carried Toy Guns to Plant on People They Shot, Trial Reveals”: https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/8xvzwp/baltimore-cops-carried-toy-guns-to-plant-on-people-they-shot-trial-reveals-vgtrn?fbclid=IwAR1Eu1-udIXS3QvSf_dkYQVnckMnmjgxOcXiWxRKoCvPggJxzc37cwRux2E

“This is how I, a 45-year-old white woman and mother of 6, currently at her peak Karen power, went from assuming police work was a necessary part of functional communities, to becoming a passionate advocate for #abolishthepolice #defundthepolice, over the course of one week.”: https://twitter.com/designmom/status/1270038204754919424?s=21&fbclid=IwAR2eOS5lTuWiWUr2sU3KEHHsild-0Lklt-qv4cUJE5qvGqI3ZYCjMm3xcEY

“The Criminal Justice System: Statistics”: https://www.rainn.org/statistics/criminal-justice-system?fbclid=IwAR3q3NTZTCxmba1Xne4nb7X8iUECOJEdFW9py3487AzhTv0_mzGo63P9AfA

“Case Closed? How 'Solved' Murder Stats Are Misleading”: https://www.governing.com/topics/public-justice-safety/gov-murder-clearance-rates-misleading.html

“Why don’t the police catch serial rapists?”: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/08/an-epidemic-of-disbelief/592807/

“Why police violence needs to be treated as a public health issue”: https://www.vox.com/identities/2019/8/14/20803872/police-violence-mortality-public-health-black-men-rutgers?fbclid=IwAR3PFwxKGRnCRb3zUpRb4Q4UwfXf6YZNdb2W0c66XT3NIQmneGGHKM4C2_A

“Athens commissioner wants to cut police by half, replace with social, health workers”: https://www.ajc.com/news/athens-commissioner-wants-cut-police-half-replace-with-social-health-workers/55nznEJjwuqkXY0vUSX6GO/?fbclid=IwAR1qhQwcoB8PlOvGsTVgFVeY2ycu2cYhwUOuCkMk0eouOII4BXhDe75P3P8

“We found 85,000 cops who’ve been investigated for misconduct. Now you can read their records.”: https://www.knoxnews.com/in-depth/news/investigations/2019/04/24/usa-today-revealing-misconduct-records-police-cops/3223984002/?fbclid=IwAR2-4jB_ssOTxNq8_fLz9c7Z7k7szX1J0okJlMAIMafDgPUojzoezSDM2dU

“A woman is suing the city of San Antonio after a police officer pulled out her tampon in public”: https://www.insider.com/woman-san-antonio-police-officer-tampon-public-proposed-settlement-2019-10?fbclid=IwAR2-AyhtZQ1cnZaML2ySjDxT0-MVA4eeDDATH1xJB7Pb-LEW-2tfuu2Cv6E

“The LAPD has been slicing into protesters' hands when cutting off zip-tie cuffs. One time is a mistake. Over and over establishes intent.”: https://imgur.com/gallery/VUoTkgJ?fbclid=IwAR1XPVXj6PZzxl_-nOu9oEnPDByY5wu58WDt0Pjy40MlaQeEZDdh2fLhUsg

“Why police aren’t welcome at pride”: https://www.teenvogue.com/story/why-police-arent-welcome-at-pride?utm_brand=tv&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook&mbid=social_facebook&utm_social-type=owned&fbclid=IwAR2FDYQeJod46GcMcCb0DP6iW8JkUmqFH8U4itIbYedsqBnjMnNoduaFizc

“This thread is has 755 cases of police brutality across the country from the past 42 days”: https://twitter.com/NikeScarKyle/status/1282011782882656261?s=20

Fatal Encounters: A step toward creating an impartial, comprehensive and searchable national database of people killed during interactions with the police: https://fatalencounters.org/?fbclid=IwAR3Y7ZEc8f7wcqcCGks8BW4GdYayhqSgIjTpqwslKEMxpvVUnDgqiOJTxvs

Man who lost eye to police-fired bean bag round during Cleveland’s George Floyd protests: ‘I did not deserve this’: https://www.cleveland.com/court-justice/2020/06/man-who-lost-eye-to-police-fired-bean-bag-round-during-clevelands-george-floyd-protests-i-did-not-deserve-this.html?fbclid=IwAR3wjPoTOlIUpewKaV1eov788c3dLiF-C0N4yptrB8S0O9_XpZVAxLjtO18

The Washington Post is compiling a database of every fatal shooting in the United States by a police officer in the line of duty in 2015 and 2016: https://github.com/washingtonpost/data-police-shootings/?fbclid=IwAR0r6kbXAUuOrEKBr7enTNGNt1ppvdauoMCTKkekOq0pJpwKjr2tgsw821A

Police Shootings Database – Killed By Police (Updated: Jul, 2020): https://killedbypolice.net/?fbclid=IwAR3fSd90SGLTB5JmAf71ilW4kChQhMpobEM-A-YS81PH4M1oZ9IOxIvSlZM

The Counted: People Killed by Police in the US: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/ng-interactive/2015/jun/01/the-counted-police-killings-us-database?fbclid=IwAR1xTZySFYR7Kkw3lSEZ_qyemzgux9yCDIN2lOSNkYXM2VZxRQ68mfcgUI4

“Video from Cleveland’s George Floyd protest contains no mention of protesters throwing rocks before police used pepper spray, tear gas on crowd”: https://www.cleveland.com/court-justice/2020/07/video-from-clevelands-george-floyd-protest-contains-no-mention-of-protesters-throwing-rocks-before-police-used-pepper-spray-tear-gas-on-crowd.html?utm_campaign=clevelanddotcom_sf&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook&fbclid=IwAR0r6kbXAUuOrEKBr7enTNGNt1ppvdauoMCTKkekOq0pJpwKjr2tgsw821A

“Why Statistics Don’t Capture The Full Extent Of The Systemic Bias In Policing”: https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/why-statistics-dont-capture-the-full-extent-of-the-systemic-bias-in-policing/?fbclid=IwAR1eClqGsNhljKvM3lhqmUZp6l2R0vEUmMKD-uxIdazA2M1tVi8O0PKNE2w

“New bill would require NY cops to have personal insurance for liability suits”: https://nypost.com/2020/07/07/bill-would-require-ny-cops-to-have-insurance-for-liability-suits/?fbclid=IwAR0k5mGbmuJyX0J4t17vsxWKd5bmg-uyzFPZTeGlfsWgzszoP1Z4V7ePTwU

‘Unconscionable’: Ex-Cleveland Safety Director failed to fire officer whose lies kept a man falsely imprisoned for eight months: https://www.cleveland.com/metro/2020/07/unconscionable-ex-cleveland-safety-director-failed-to-fire-officer-whose-lies-kept-a-man-falsely-imprisoned-for-eight-months.html?fbclid=IwAR0k5mGbmuJyX0J4t17vsxWKd5bmg-uyzFPZTeGlfsWgzszoP1Z4V7ePTwU

“Defunding the Police Will Actually Make Us Safer”: https://www.aclu.org/news/criminal-law-reform/defunding-the-police-will-actually-make-us-safer/?fbclid=IwAR1WOrLzK4qQV5bqwtMUsAKg_PYebalD1En8C_H8vBXqQs-I4otU_B7sHY4

“Why Prosecutors Keep Letting Police Get Away With Murder”: https://www.aclu.org/news/criminal-law-reform/why-prosecutors-keep-letting-police-get-away-with-murder/?fbclid=IwAR14h9BqEOEfPBGh1_IFr0JVIR5WO_1xc7wUdqi2mHbxyOhQ8-HB-BV1Lxg

“The Supreme Court Broke Police Accountability. Now It Has the Chance to Fix It”: https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2020/05/george-floyd-supreme-court-police-qualified-immunity.html

“In the Supreme Court of the United States: ALEXANDER L. BAXTER vs. BRAD BRACEY and SPENCER R. HARRIS”: https://www.supremecourt.gov/DocketPDF/18/18-1287/95661/20190408145246695_Baxter%20v%20Bracey%20Petition%20for%20Writ%20of%20Certiorary.pdf

“Corbitt v. Vickers”: https://casetext.com/case/corbitt-v-vickers

“In the Supreme Court of the United States: NOBLE COOPER; NORMAN COOPER, Estate of; JENNIFER COOPER; NATHAN COOPER; CARLY LOPEZ, Individually and as Next Friend of NASON COOPER and NEVON COOPER, Minors; NASON COOPER, a Minor; NEVON COOPER, a Minor vs OFFICER OLIVER FLAIG; OFFICER ARNOLDO SANCHEZ”: https://www.supremecourt.gov/DocketPDF/19/19-1001/131050/20200205130027986_Cooper%20Petition--PDFA.pdf

“Stop using ‘black-on-black’ crime to deflect away from police brutality”: https://www.cleveland.com/news/2020/06/stop-using-black-on-black-crime-to-deflect-away-from-police-brutality.html?fbclid=IwAR1P4YhkeLVHyLXLlgbhGl66kZ47J_4naQByxK-XsXotb28LYIDEQhcno8g

“Bodycam footage from Phoenix arrest reveals new details about Black man's death in custody”: https://www.cnn.com/2020/07/09/us/phoenix-muhammad-muhaymin-invs/index.html?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=news_tab&utm_content=algorithm&fbclid=IwAR0k5mGbmuJyX0J4t17vsxWKd5bmg-uyzFPZTeGlfsWgzszoP1Z4V7ePTwU

[zehrasadik]

Zehra laughed, letting her attention move from the other and grab her drink at the bar, eagerly interested in this conversation and this man. She wasn't one that got out too often, and lord knows the last time she'd been on a proper date, but if she happened to leave this party full of alcohol and a hook up later, she certainly wouldn't complain. She was here to have fun and if that's what it took, she'd do it. Sipping on her drink, Zehra offered the other a smile. "So, you know the birthday girl?" she questioned, knowing she didn't know her personally, but she was sure that this girl was the same one who's podcasts she listened to. "Or are you like what I imagine ninety percent of the party is here for and you're just trying to have a good time?" @bradleymorrisx

Though he was on the older side of the crowd at the party, it was an open invite and he had always enjoyed a good party. He wasn't there just to pick up someone, no he was there to have a good time. And if he just so happened to leave the party with someone? We'll that would just be an added bonus in his eyes. Leaning against the counter of the bar, he turned to the other with a nod. "Good to know," he flashed her a smile and pondered for a moment before his own smirk formed on his lips. "Oh, well that's very good to know. Maybe by the night's end I'll be sampling some tequila. You know for research purposes." @zehrasadik

[aliveandfullofjoy]

Oscar Predictions 2019: Pre-Fall Festivals

oh shiiiiiiiiit

So I usually post my first predictions of the year around August, and I was actually curious as to what my success rate has been, because at this point, everything is conjecture. So just real quick, for whoever cares:

August 2018: 6/8 in Best Picture (missed Green Book and Bohemian Rhapsody, LMAO); 4/5 in Director (missed Pawlikowski); 14/20 in acting categories -- so surprisingly not bad!

September 2017: 7/9 in Best Picture (missed Lady Bird and Phantom Thread); 2/5 in Director (missed Gerwig, Peele, and Anderson); 12/20 in acting categories 

July 2016: 5/9 in Best Picture (missed Hacksaw Ridge, Hell or High Water, Hidden Figures, and Lion); 2/5 in Director (missed Jenkins, Lonergan, and Gibson); 8/20 (WHOOO) in acting categories -- this year was rough, clearly.

August 2015: 1/9 in Best Picture (Jesus Christ, I literally only had The Revenant); 1/5 in Director (missed everyone but Iñarritu); 8/20 in acting categories -- BRUTAL

So chances are, most of these will be a bit wrong. But it’s still fun to try!

* All nominees listed in alphabetical order, NOT in order of likelihood *

BEST PICTURE 01. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood  02. The Farewell 03. Harriet  04. The Irishman  05. Jojo Rabbit  06. Little Women  07. Marriage Story  08. 1917  09. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood  10. Parasite 

I know, I know, ten nominees never happen in Best Picture anymore, but truthfully, I can’t decide what movies to drop. Harriet and Beautiful Day feel like they’re in similar boats, in that they’ll probably make good money (at worst) and get good-not-great reviews (at best) and could potentially make a play for an acting winner (Erivo and Hanks, respectively). The Farewell could end up being A24′s easiest push this year, especially since reviews are glowing and it’s doing really well commercially (and the narrative of being the first ever Best Picture nominee directed by an Asian-American woman is pretty strong). Little Women could be the #MovieEvent of the holiday season. Parasite is a wildcard, but I’m banking on Hollywood’s deep love for Bong Joon-ho (which is very real) and the film’s absolutely insane word-of-mouth potential. 

As for a winner: maybe Marriage Story? It seems like Netflix is gonna go all in on it this year, and both of its leads are potential winners in their categories. Maybe we have our first Big 5 winner since Silence of the Lambs. 

BEST DIRECTOR 01. Noah Baumbach, Marriage Story  02. Bong Joon-ho, Parasite  03. Martin Scorsese, The Irishman  04. Quentin Tarantino, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood  05. Lulu Wang, The Farewell 

Kind of going all-in on The Farewell and Parasite here, only because the next two contenders I can see breaking in are films that I’m not entirely sure about: Jojo Rabbit (Taika Waititi) and 1917 (Sam Mendes). Waititi has never had a film in the Oscar race before, but this could absolutely be his ticket, and considering he’s Fox Searchlight’s main priority, that bodes well. I’m not sure about if Mendes will feel like Dunkirk redux, but word on the street is that the direction is super flashy and made to look like one shot. 

Wang and Bong are, again, wildcards. Not certain Tarantino will last until awards season. Scorsese and Baumbach are only out if the movies are absolute bombs. 

BEST ACTRESS 01. Awkwafina, The Farewell 02. Cynthia Erivo, Harriet  03. Scarlett Johansson, Marriage Story  04. Saoirse Ronan, Little Women  05. Renée Zellweger, Judy 

Weird year for this category! I can absolutely see a scenario in which Erivo sweeps, but if Marriage Story takes off (and especially if Harriet ends up being an acting-only movie), I wouldn’t count out ScarJo. Not sure anymore about Awkwafina contending for the win. Ronan should be filler. Zellweger gets a “welcome back!” nomination for a movie with a yellow Metacritic score. 

BEST ACTOR 01. Antonio Banderas, Pain and Glory  02. Robert De Niro, The Irishman  03. Leonardo DiCaprio, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood  04. Adam Driver, Marriage Story  05. Joaquin Phoenix, Joker 

Yeah, I have no idea what to do about Joker. I personally don’t care about it right now, but it seems unwise to write it off. Banderas is a bit of wishful thinking, mostly because he’s never been nominated before and I’d love to have another Almodóvar movie at the Oscars, in whatever capacity. No clue who wins this thing -- Driver if Marriage Story is the real deal?

Next in line: Jonathan Pryce, The Two Popes

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS 01. Laura Dern, Marriage Story  02. Scarlett Johansson, Jojo Rabbit  03. Margot Robbie, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood  04. Meryl Streep, The Laundromat  05. Zhao Shuzhen, The Farewell 

Alright, I know Zhao isn’t gonna happen, but this category is weird right now, so let a fella dream! Really not sure what to do about Streep or The Laundromat, but it’s generally a bad idea to count her out when she has a movie in eligibility. If Erivo wins in leading, Johansson could win here, especially if Jojo takes off as a top BP contender. 

Next in line: like?? Florence Pugh, Little Women; Octavia Spencer, Luce; Annette Bening, The Report; Janelle Monaé, Harriet; Anna Paquin, The Irishman ????? I have no idea, lmao. 

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR 01. Willem Dafoe, The Lighthouse  02. Tom Hanks, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood  03. Al Pacino, The Irishman  04. Brad Pitt, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood  05. Taika Waititi, Jojo Rabbit 

I don’t expect the Academy across the board to embrace The Lighthouse, but Dafoe has spent the last two years being the only nominee from his movies (and last year was a pretty big surprise), so I kind of see a scenario where he could actually end up winning, especially if Hanks gets snubbed (again) and Hollywood loses steam. I’m not gonna bet on that though, lol. 

And just for fun:

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY 01. The Farewell  02. The Lighthouse  03. Marriage Story  04. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood  05. Parasite 

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPALY  01. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood  02. The Irishman  03. Jojo Rabbit  04. The Laundromat  05. Little Women 

[bruisedconscience]

my tumblr year in review

I posted 2,495 times in 2021

1360 posts created (55%)

1135 posts reblogged (45%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.8 posts.

I added 2,733 tags in 2021

#ooc - 1241 posts

#queued - 237 posts

#[ don’t reblog from me; thanks! ] - 225 posts

#[ don't reblog from me; thanks! ] - 203 posts

#work posting - 177 posts

#mobile - 156 posts

#thread: barry - 148 posts

#n.sfw - 133 posts

#study: barry - 126 posts

#[ sorry i’m liveblogging fx wwdits ] - 87 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#[ i think my friend realized after scrolling thru ao3 that there’s a brad pitt version and she went oh. shit. u meant that one huh ]

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

@xgoldxnhour => Ellie, modern verse

Being outside of Clockworks was...bizarre. David was still on a strict medication regime, but they’d let him leave the facility with the promise that they’d be seeing him once a month, sometimes a few times a month if it turned out like he needed it.

But he was out.

David had learned to respond to the voices in his head internally, without using his mouth, and that made it a little easier to blend in with regular people.

Coffee. David and about 6 other voices wanted Coffee. This, he could do.

He waited until it was his turn at the counter before walking up. The lady—he shouldn’t presume. The person behind the counter had a name tag that read Eloise.

“Hi Eloise,” he said softly. “I’m David. Um...do you have anything with chocolate in it, mayhaps? And-and coffee? At the same time?”

38 notes • Posted 2021-05-06 18:59:11 GMT

#4

Barry "I am actively planning a murder" Berkman

time taken: ~1.5 hrs (click for better quality, like usual)

45 notes • Posted 2021-07-09 06:21:45 GMT

#3

Barry & Maladaptive Daydreaming:

Barry developed maladaptive daydreaming pretty early on after getting back to the states. We see his daydreams a few times throughout the show as a device for Barry’s desires for normalcy and a ‘typical American life,’ but I imagine they extend pretty far beyond what we see in canon.

Barry will have daydreams at inopportune times, like—briefly—while driving or while going about banal daily errands. He’ll sometimes shut his eyes, but he’ll usually rub at his opposite forearm or bicep with his dominant hand, as if he were nervous about something. He can have his eyes open, too, and ‘stare off into space.’ Barry’s P.TSD manifests itself with frequent dissociation as well as maladaptive daydreams. During his psych eval after he was discharged, Barry was so set on sticking to the story Fuches had fabricated that he managed to completely mask his P.TSD symptoms from the military psychiatrist, similar to him being able to lie at face value to Janice Moss and her interviewing partner in Gene’s office.

52 notes • Posted 2021-05-18 05:11:46 GMT

#2

just realized something about the scene where Barry shoots his friend Chris 

keeping his hand against the wheel serves two purposes. one being to make sure Chris doesn’t bruise himself trying to fight Barry off and have signs of a struggle, but another reason is because of rigor mortis

barry, having completed an unknown number of hits by now, knows that after someone dies, there is a very limited amount of time that you have to Pose someone before their body cannot be reliably repositioned. Even an hour after death, indentations in the skin that were left are still noticeable. 

Barry held Chris’ hand against the steering wheel so that the curve would stay in his fingers, making it look like he’d just been holding a gun and his fingers only relaxed a small amount away from the trigger, after Barry smeared off his fingerprints. 

61 notes • Posted 2021-06-01 01:40:46 GMT

#1

hey so whats that thing where you mimic people around you and your behaviors change all the time and its hard to know what is you and what is influence 

is that like identity confusion or alteration or nah? 

edit: for folks reblogging this (bc it’s getting notes fast), see the replies! it’s called mirroring or the mirror effect, and lots of folks do it for a myriad of diff reasons 👍

110 notes • Posted 2021-08-10 20:48:26 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[ledenews]

Indy Edges Wheeling, 3-2, to Narrow Postseason Hopes

The Wheeling Nailers were close, but unfortunately, not close enough on Friday night, as they opened their three-game road trip at Indiana Farmers Coliseum with a clash against the Indy Fuel. Chase Lang's power-play goal at the 11:59 mark of the second period was the difference, as Indy edged Wheeling, 3-2, keeping the Nailers five points behind Fort Wayne for the final playoff spot in the Central Division. Lane Gilliss netted his first career goal in his pro debut for Wheeling. The Nailers played great for the majority of the first period, as they had a 1-0 lead with one minute remaining. However, two goals in ten seconds by Indy flipped the script, as the home team took a 2-1 advantage into the intermission. Wheeling got its goal with some terrific puck movement in the offensive zone. Davis Bunz tossed a shot on goal through traffic from the right point, which produced a rebound to the left circle. Lane Gilliss pounced on the loose puck and slammed in the goal - a great way to celebrate his pro debut. A power play strike got the Fuel on the board with 25 seconds left. Alex Wideman's attempt from the left side dribbled its way to the bottom of the right circle, where Max Golod powered a one-timer inside the right post. Ten seconds later, Logan Nijhoff dropped a pass to Andrew Bellant, who roofed a one-timer from the top of the right circle. The deficit remained at one in the middle frame, as both squads converted on power plays. The Nailers pulled even at the 2:37 mark. Samuel Tremblay forced his way deep on the left side of the offensive zone, and although his first try didn't go in, he quickly moved the puck to Sean Josling, who threaded in a shot from along the left side of the goal line. Indy went back in front with 8:01 remaining. Spencer Watson sent a pass from circle to circle for Luc Brown, who let a shot go from the left side. Chase Lang had his first tip ring off the right post, but he continued to bang away at the loose change, and eventually got the puck to trickle in over the line. Wheeling fought hard to try to find an equalizer in the third period, as the visitors held a 17-7 advantage in shots, and included 1:08 of 6-on-4 power play time at the end. The Fuel bent, but didn't break, and took the 3-2 final score into the win column. Zach Driscoll earned the victory in goal for Indy, as he thwarted away 29 of the 31 shots he faced, including all 17 attempts in the third. Brad Barone made 24 saves on 27 shots in goal for the Nailers. The Nailers will continue their three-game road weekend on Saturday at 7:35 against the Fort Wayne Komets, before making one final stop on Sunday at 5:15 against the Toledo Walleye. Wheeling will play a pair of home games next week. Education Day returns on Wednesday, March 8th at 10:45 a.m. against Toledo, and that game is sold out. Saturday, March 11th is Country Night at 7:10 against Fort Wayne, which features a live post-game concert by Jonathan Moody. Ticket packages and single-game tickets are available for the 2022-23 season by visiting wheelingnailers.com or calling (304) 234-GOAL. The Wheeling Nailers, considered one of the top things to do in Wheeling, West Virginia, provide affordable family entertainment for fans throughout the Ohio Valley. Read the full article

[biofunmy]

Netflix, Gwyneth Paltrow’s ‘Goop Lab’ is delightfully wonderful, wacky

CLOSE

Prepare to be thrown for a Goop.

Netflix’s “The Goop Lab” (out Jan. 24) shows the staff of the lifestyle brand – including founder and Oscar winner Gwyneth Paltrow – exploring a wellness topic in each of its six episodes. .It is, at times, as eccentric as the docu-series’ poster, which seemingly depicts Paltrow inside a vagina, which caused a stir on Twitter.

Episodes explore psychedelic psychotherapy, Wim Hof’s mind over matter method, female pleasure, aging, energy fields and mediumship. Speaking to Goop’s mission, Paltrow recently told USA TODAY: “We help people get closer to themselves (and) open minds to ways (they) might get closer to themselves.”

In the series, Paltrow offers nuggets from her personal life, where the mom who honestly spoke about what jerks teenagers Apple and Moses can be really shines. For example, did you know Paltrow had a “very, very emotional” experience while trying MDMA in Mexico? Or that her cleanses are not kid-approved? “My kids are gonna bum out,” she says, examining a new diet plan. “Every time I do a cleanse they’re like, ‘Oh no!’ You get all grumpy.”

She apparently started Goop because she felt her calling to be “something else, besides, you know, making out with Matt Damon onscreen, or whatever.”

Exclusive: Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle brand, Goop, is going to sea with Celebrity Cruises

Gwyneth Paltrow on relationships with exes, from Brad Pitt to ‘lifelong commitment’ to Chris Martin

Gwyneth Paltrow stars in and serves as executive producer for “The Goop Lab.” (Photo: Adam Rose/Netflix)

Early in each episode, onscreen text warns the content should be viewed as entertainment. 

“The following series is designed to entertain and inform – not provide medical advice,” it reads. “You should always consult your doctor when it comes to your personal health, or before you start any treatment.” (Paltrow’s brand isn’t free from controversy. In 2018, the company paid $145,000 to settle a consumer protection case brought by California state officials over unsubstantiated health claims for a trio of products.)

The show is entertaining and engaging and thought-provoking. At times, it can also be puzzling and head-scratching. But that’s what we’ve come to expect from the brand (save for the disappointingly mundane “Sex Issue” book released in 2018). 

Let’s give a woo-hoo for the woo-woo! 

Among the series’ many Goop-y moments:

Chief content officer Elise Loehnen goes pescatarian for 21 days, in an effort to lower her biological age. While trying to figure out dinner, Loehnen says salmon and brown rice may be on the menu – which sounds a little skimpy, like it could be missing a vegetable, until the camera pans to the cost of the fish: $41.99 a pound. (We wouldn’t spend a dollar more on this dinner, either!)

Loehnen acknowledges the cost of her salmon – $48.71 – is “crazy.”

Gwyneth Paltrow shocks at Golden Globes in see-through dress that garnered mixed reactions

Why Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s teenage daughter Apple got mad at dad

Goop’s chief content officer Elise Loehnen at the goop Health Summit San Francisco on Nov. 16, 2019. (Photo: Ian Tuttle/Getty Images for goop)

In an effort to normalize the appearance of female genitalia, closeup shots seem shocking.

“You’d have to show more than one,” sex educator Betty Dodson advises in the episode. “Because if you only showed one, that would become the one. We’d all imitate it.” Cue a sequence of eight photographs. (A woman is also shown having an orgasm in this episode.)

While I couldn’t bring myself to watch a Goop staffer have tiny cones and thread inserted into her face in a quest to achieve a more youthful appearance, I couldn’t look away from the work of John Amaral, identified as a “body worker and chiropractor.” According to his website, he can “help people amplify their energy, expand their consciousness and upgrade their performance so they can experience mind-blowing levels of clarity and freedom.”

 Amaral admits his sessions can look strange. 

What exactly is he doing? “When I’m moving my hands in the air and I’m snapping my fingers, and I’m making sounds with my hands, I am putting energy into the field around somebody’s body, and I’m changing their energy system just by the way I interact with it.”

What it looks like is very interesting, to say the least.

Loehnen began making noises as her body lifted from the table she was lying on during her treatment. “I had an exorcism,” she joked. 

After Loehnen gave her account of her session, Paltrow had some fun: “Could you like get any Goopier?” she asked. “She’s Goopier than I am!”

Contributing: Morgan Hines and Mike Snider

2020 TV premiere dates: When your favorite show returns, and your next one starts

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