#bpii

[isnotfound]

sorry i havent been posting guys i was depressed and then i got manic and forgot about this acc and now i'm depressed again

[ananabilaolshop]

*Aku Mencintai Allah dan Rasul-Nya* Suatu ketika, setelah selesai sholat Rasulullah bergegas pergi bersama Anas bin Malik. Sesampainya pintu keluar masjid berpapasan dengan seseorang. Orang tersebut tidak menyia-nyiakan kesempatan berjumpa dengan Rasulullah dan menanyakan tentang kiamat. Bukannya langsung menjawab pertanyaan, Rasulullah malah balik bertanya : _"Bekal apa saja yang telah engkau siapkan? "_ Sambil malu-malu orang tersebut menjawab : _"belum ada, sholatku masih sedikit, termasuk sedekah dan shaumku, *namun aku sungguh mencintai Allah dan Rasul-Nya*"_ Mendengar itu, Rasulullah tersenyum dan berkata : _"kelak engkau akan bersama dengan orang yang kau cintai itu"_ MasyaAllah, seseorang tadi bersemangat untuk rajin ibadah. 🥰 #bpii #berkahmulia #ananabilaolshop #komunitasberkahmulia #jadiSLCyuk #wakafyuk #wakafQuran #wakafbukuyuk (di Ana nabila olshop) https://www.instagram.com/p/CoqfyyKPjYZ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[builder051]

for the anecdote ask game: F is for fear

This game is ancient, but I’m still up to play. Everyone feel free, but do include the title and the question rather than just a letter or symbol. :)

Ok. So. I used to have a job with strict security regulations. Regular drug tests, no criminal record, no bad financial history, no outrageous social media, etc. There was also a clause that stated mental illness and/or being on long-term psych meds was a security risk, so I cannot be employed there anymore. The standard early 20s onset of BPII does that to people. It sucks, but now I have too many health challenges to hold a job at all.

About 6 months before I left the company, I was starting to struggle with mental health. My GP referred me to a clinic where I could get a tiny dose of Prozac or something that would help and be unlikely to get me fired. So I went there and did exactly that. Meds in hand. Should be good to go.

However, the clinic was also a medical marijuana dispensary. I had absolutely no association with that side of the office, but it freaked me out a little. I was afraid there could be a bad assumption if I had a background check, and then I would get fired and leave the company on bad terms (like if they thought I was withholding information for not reporting myself).

I tried to think of a way to fix it, and I decided the best way was to call my GP’s office (on her personal extension), and let her know the clinic was also a dispensary, so she could make a note in my chart that I was on Prozac only and was specifically not using medical marijuana. I wanted to leave a message; I was nervous to say it in person over the phone (though looking back, that’s totally what I should have done).

To make sure my GP wouldn’t pick up, I decided to call at 1:00 in the morning. However, instead of having voicemail, her practice had a 24-hour answering service! So a real, live human picked up the phone, and I had to explain who I was and who my doctor was and all about the clinic and what I was worried about… I probably should have hung up on them. But I kept talking and crying and shaking, and I hoped they wouldn’t think I was in crisis and needed to have emergency services deployed… Yeah, it was terrifying. I am still so scared of phone calls.

[mental-mario]

Monu-Mentally Shredded

I didn't realize today is Mental Health Awareness day, but I figure it is all the more fitting then that I recount my hospitalization in the psych ward last week. This may run long and require at least a Part II.

The day started at 8am with a routine blood draw. My psych put me on lithium recently, and this was a routine test prior to my follow-up appointment to check my lithium blood level. For context, I have been depressed and suicidal for much of my life, but I didn't get it addressed until the last year because I was taught that it was shameful or weak to receive any care for emotions and mental health. I always felt like something was mentally "off" about me, though, and after sitting 9 months on a waitlist, I finally got accepted as a psych patient. I was then diagnosed MDD and BPD, as well as OCD, BPII, and ADHD. My older daughter was also diagnosed ADHD and ASD1 earlier this year, but I digress.

This has been a particularly hard year amongst many hard years, and after I got fired I spiraled into a free fall. I stayed in bed and slept a lot, cut myself, binged on snacks when I finally did get out of bed some, and I was especially irritable and moody, even yelling and cursing at one of the school's teachers in the car line, with my kids in the car. I wish I could say that was out of character for me, but sadly it isn't. I did a better job in previous years holding my negative thoughts underneath the surface (not a good thing), but with going no-contact with my parents and sibling's family for a second time as well as navigating the choppy waters of my marriage, my depression, anger, and burnout became too much for me to suppress. It wasn't much of a surprise after seeing the lacerations on my arm that my psych "urged" me to go to the hospital voluntarily. I put that in quotes because he really said I can either go on my own or be committed involuntarily. So I think I made the better choice.

I had been to the ER once or twice before in life, but this was my first time in the psych triage and consequentially being admitted. The triage was locked down with several security personnel on hand. I was shown to a bed in a small area with a posted camera in the corner and a sitter to watch me, and they took my clothes, phone, keys, and wallet and had me get into a big green paper jumpsuit. While I waited to have another blood draw, EKG, and urine tox screen done, a large man with profound autism stripped naked in the hallway and pissed on the floor. Once the tests were completed, I was escorted upstairs by wheelchair to a unit that I could only describe as the holding tank.

I'm not really sure what the point of being on this unit was, so maybe someone can comment if they know better. I was brought into a room with 2 empty beds, a bathroom, and 2 TVs with 1 on and no remote. The staff had me order lunch (I was in no mood to eat), and I was able to call my wife from the phone on the wall with the extra short cord. I'm not entirely sure someone wasn't listening in on those calls because the phone made some weird clicking noises when it was connecting. I went back to the room after making my phone call and was provided an atarax to calm my nerves. It worked, and I napped until lunch arrived. I ate very little of the frozen stir fry they gave me, but I did eat the bowl of grapes. I arrived at the ER around 10am, and it wasn't until around 5pm that I was finally transported over to the unit.

Security had me go through a metal detector before being let in. They said you'd be surprised what people do to try and sneak things in. Inside, there was a front unit and back unit, and I was escorted to the back. I was then sat into a chair near the nurse's desk, which was locked inside by badge lock and behind thick - I assume bulletproof - glass. I then waited for them to take my vitals...again! I looked around. There were probably 10 patients on the unit, and they were also all dressed in the same green paper jump suit. The lighting was all fluorescent in the hallways, and there was one phone hanging on the wall for patients to use, also with a short cord. I've not been to prison, but I do imagine some similarities would be experienced. The other patients were in the dayroom area eating dinner, while I was taken into another room by a nurse and another staff member as witness to strip search me. This made it feel all the more like prison, and if this was supposed to make me feel less like killing myself, it failed miserably.

I am going to break it up here, but look out for Part II coming up real soon!

I am currently playing Shredder's Revenge, and I highly recommend the DLC if you haven't gotten it yet. The survival mode online is a lot of fun, and I feel like I get a limited social interaction out of it, even though I have no idea who is on the other side of the wifi. With that said, I have no community or irl friends, so I would love for some virtual company. I am adding my friend code below, so send me a friendvite and message me when you're available to play. I am also planning to open up rooms from time to time in games for anyone reading this blog or my socials (as I get them going) to join via code, and I will post the code up with first come first served. So be sure to follow the blog here. I hate the term "followers," so I prefer to call you my friends, if I may.

My friend code is: SW - 4419 - 5159 - 3401. I will also post this on the blog bio for reference, as well as the QR code. I want friends!!...but with boundaries, lol!

[violentviolette]

the things you've said about bipolar disorder are focused on BP I. they are not wholly true for BP II and cyclothymia. for example, long term therapy is strongly insisted upon as part of treatment for BP II and cyclothymia. there are specific therapies for people with persistent mood disorders, and can be custom tailored for the needs of the patient. this is a fact.

there is higher risk of persistent and often permanent degeneration of cognitive functions in patients with BP II and cyclothymia (with medication). there is a significantly higher risk of relapse in patients on medication, due to a number of factors including the above mentioned cognitive decline. thus, continued "supervision" and support is often required.

patients with BP II are much more likely to die of unnatural causes than with BP I (again, even medicated), and this can only be extrapolated from to imagine how many people -actually- die from suicide or drug overdose or risk seeking behaviours who had BP II but were misdiagnosed with something else. Many people with BP II and cyclothymia end up undiagnosed as the manifestation of these disorders is often misunderstood or mistaken for something else.

while lithium and other mood stabilizers have been used to treat BP II, their effectiveness can undermined by persistent depression and requires other medications to be added on top of it, increasing instability and risk of relapse. the truth is that usage of lithium and other medications for BP II is simply taken for granted because it works for BP I. meaning that those might actually not be the best compounds, but further research into better solutions is lacking.

no well meaning or informed person would ever advocate against taking medication for any kind of bipolar or other persistent mood disorder. these are absolutely necessary to increase the patient's chances of survival, to preserve some kind of quality of life, and any evidence to the contrary is anecdotal at best. however, the reality is that when it comes to BP II and cyclothymia, it is very much not a case of "set it and forget it". the prognosis of a patient with these mood disorders, even on medication, even with therapy, is not as promising as it is the case with BP I.

there's some new stuff coming out in terms of pharmacology, that supposedly performed as well or better than lithium for BP II, but as it's always the case, only longer term and more widespread use will tell how that works out

there is definitly way more nuance to these things when ur having a deeper conversation about it for sure, and bpI vs bpII absolutely have their own different needs and bpII is unarguably the more difficult one to treat with much more personal variation between patients for a lot of the reasons u stated. ur absolutely right on those points and we dont disagree there at all there are some things in here i do disagree with, and I also have some of my own thoughts that are just theories, particularly about the inclusion of trauma and how that impacts ppl. i would theorize that severe enough trauma combined with genetic potential for but not full expression of bipolar is more likely what creates bpII and thus why treatment often fails and patients relapse. because their brains arent malfunctioning as an organ the same way bpI brains are and its the underlying trauma which is the actual cause and it is not being properly addressed and treated (which isnt to say trauma doesnt cause physical changes to the brain because it absolutely does, but those changes are going to be different and therefore require different approaches). but again that is just a theory and has not been clinically studied, but i do think as our understanding of trauma and the parts it plays in mental illnesses expands these kinds of things will be explored more

but also what i want to make very clear is that this statement "no well meaning or informed person would ever advocate against taking medication for any kind of bipolar or other persistent mood disorder." is completely untrue and its the entire reason i made that post. that IS very much what people are advocating for in what they think is good faith and talking about. i have seen this SO much over the years, people saying that meds are poison, that they change u, that they'll kill ur creativity and make u a zombie, that big pharma just wants u to take more drugs. i once had someone tell me drs only pushed lithium for bipolar because of "big lithium corps" when lithium is literally a naturally occuring mineral and thus a generic that cannot be patented. i have been in many discord servers where ppl tell u to just "raw dog" ur mania. that its good for u because its ur brains natural cycle. which is why i started on this topic at all, because the original reply was upset about there being so few bipolar discords, and these kinds of harmful sentiments being common place among those servers are one of the main reasons none of them last more than a few months and thus there are so few. because shockingly bipolar people off their meds and elbow deep in their own manic delusions arent exactly the best support network for sound medical advice

[agnescon]

Ficar na Internet tem feito muito pela minha crença de desamor e abandono então eu tenho tentado ficar longe, mas nas últimas semanas tem sido difícil. Os gatilhos saíram do tiktok e Instagram (de onde eu já tinha me retirado) e invadiram youtube, bluesky e até aqui, no tumblr. Tudo me remete ao fato de eu me prender numa relação onde eu nunca vou ser importante ou boa o suficiente, em que a pessoa não quer realmente estar comigo e que nunca vai me oferecer o que eu anseio. E isso me incomoda.

Eu só quero um lugar livre de gatilhos pra eu me livrar desses pesos quando meu cérebro estiver pronto pra isso, sem sofrer mais no processo, mas parece impossível agora. Vou ter que abrir essa caixa. E o capitalismo é tão cretino que nem me permite fazer isso essa semana.

Depois da última crise eu não pensei que isso fosse perdurar assim por mais tempo. É como se a mania tivesse virado depressão, só que pelo mesmo motivo. Talvez eu seja mesmo bpii.

Apesar de saber que isso é uma crise, embora controlada, eu me sinto lúcida. Estive com um casal funcional hoje e cara... eu não posso oferecer aquilo. Não a ele, pelo menos. Seria incrível ter aquilo mas com ele não consigo. Não depois de toda essa história. Estou machucada demais...

[franciswhetsel]

I have BPII and struggle a lot/have plenty of super dark days but I'm going out of my way to celebrate all my little mental health victories because any progress is good progress

My proudest achievement of the year has got to be having a healthy sleep schedule. Asleep by 11:30, awake by 8.

[angel-heaven-blessings]

It's funny how I always end up coming back to Tumblr. It could be weeks, months or years and somehow I end up seeking the support I don't have around me and finding it with a few taps on my phone.

Where do I start. I recently got diagnosed with bipolar 2. Regardless of it being a certain type its something that is sitting so heavily on my chest. I can't seem to stop these racing thought. The urge to cry is so overwhelming.

Usually I turn to my best friend but she's on a date with a man that has treated her so poorly but that is her own journey. My boyfriend is out with his friends and I'm glad he is blowing off some steam. Life gets tough.

I just feel alone tonight and it's okay to be sad. I need to learn to deal with my own thoughts and enjoy my own company. I'll be joining a 6 months out patient treatment and that is so overwhelming. 6 months...its something I have to commit to but I'm looking for every excuse to bail but I know this if for my own good.

Overall I'm sad and that's okay. I'll get though through the night. Just felt like instead of thinking about all my feelings and upsetting myself I might as well put it out there. I know there are other people feeling the exact same way I'm feeling tonight...makes me feel a little less lonely.

Much love to people that are struggling with their mental health and to those that are just having a bad day.

[ananabilaolshop]

Sedih itu gak papa, manusiawi. Karena terkadang saat bersedihlah, kita semakin banyak mengingat Allah. Tapiiii, semoga bisa bersegera ngecek keimanan kita yaa🥰 Seseorang yang beriman kepada ﷲ akan selalu memurnikan kecintaan kepada-nya. ﷲ menjadi satu-satunya yang dia tuju saat shalat, shaum, berhaji, berkurban, dan ibadah lainnya. Dan dia hanya menjadikan ﷲ sebagai satu-satunya pembimbing di dalam hidupnya. #BPII #bukupintarimanislam #berkahmulia #sdi #ananabilaolshop #jadiSLCyuk #komunitasberkahmulia #quote Selamat pagi selamat beraktivitas rabu seru, semangat baru, rezeki menggebu. Kontak person : Ulfah Hidayati (Ana nabila olshop) WA 0852-3034-3369 (di Ana nabila olshop) https://www.instagram.com/p/Clj_UhzvLAb/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[putrilintang]

FAVORIT⁣ ⁣ Anak-anak dan dunia main tak bisa dipisahkan.⁣ ⁣ Permainan puzzle yang menjadi bonus dari Buku Pintar Iman Islam bisa jadi amunisi mengisi hari libur ananda di rumah. ⁣ ⁣ Selain menstimulasi motorik halus, melatih visuospasial, puzzle juga melatih kemampuan ananda menemukan problem solving, menambah kepercayaan diri pada anak. ⁣ ⁣ Satu paket buku plus hadiah tambahan lainnya, ini sih liburan bakalan makin asyik baca sambil main dengan Buku Pintar Iman Islam.⁣ ⁣ Visuospasial : adalah suatu skill yang berhubungan dengan persepsi dan hubungan-hubungan ruang.⁣ Kemampuan ini dapat terasah dengan bermain puzzle, karena anak dituntut untuk mengenal dan memahami bentuk, ukuran, warna, serta ruang.⁣ ⁣ #BPII⁣ #puzzle⁣ #BukuSirohAnak⁣ #Bukupintarimanislam⁣ #BPIIKurikulumSmartFamily⁣ #BukuRukunImandanRukunIslam⁣ #Liburanasyikmainpuzzle⁣ #puzzlehajitammatu⁣ #LiburAntiMatiGaya⁣ #BukuAnakMuslim⁣ #liburtelahtiba⁣ #diskoncetar⁣ #cumabayar60persen https://www.instagram.com/p/CQlY1mJswnK/?utm_medium=tumblr

[tokillaborderlinebird]

don’t tell me god will cure my bipolar disorder

when I’m manic I think I am god

[puppetkin]

every time someone asks me an hour later what i was angry about:

[tharasamhouse]

Suatu ketika, dua orang tokoh Quraisy datang bertamu. Mereka adalah Ady bin Abi Rabi'ah dan Akhnasy bin Syuraiq. Rasulullah sangat gembira akan kedatangan tamunya. Ady bin Abi Rabi'ah bertanya kepada Rasulullah mengenai hari kiamat. Dengan senang hati Rasulullah menjelaskan panjang lebar. Beliau berharap mereka akan mendapatkan hidayah. Akan tetapi setelah mendengar penjelasan Rasulullah, Ady bin Abi Rabi'ah malah mencibir sambil berkata " _Aku tak percaya! Mana mungkin Allah bisa menghidupkan orang² yang sudah mati? Mereka kan sudah menjadi tulang belulang! _ ". Seketika itu turunlah wahyu, surat Al Qiyamah ayat 3 & 4. _Apakah manusia mengira, bahwa Kami tidak akan mengumpulkan (kembali) tulang belulangnya? Bukan demikian, sebenarnya Kami kuasa menyusun (kembali) jari jemarinya dengan sempurna._ Allah Maha Kuasa, jangankan tulang belulang, menyusun jemari pun Allah sanggup melakukannya, karena Dia Maha Pencipta. Disarikan dari Buku Pintar Iman Islam. #bpii #kafa #komunitasfafirruilallah https://www.instagram.com/p/CHekpAnB6fI/?igshid=7cra2h9axfdp

[bestprojectsinindia]

राजस्थान का प्यास मिटाने वाला जलधारा Rajasthan Water Supply || Best Pro...

[halallaku]

Must Have , 3 Paket Buku Keren 1. #Mute untuk meneladani Rasulullah Saw beserta kisah para sahabat di dalamnya. 2. #bpii untuk pondasi dasar akidah dan ibadah secara menyeluruh. Kupasan tiap rukun iman dan rukun Islamnya enak untuk dibaca anak usia SD hingga SMA. 3. #24NR untuk mengenal kisah sejarah 24 para Nabi dan Rasul. Investasi emas sering, sekarang saatnya investasi iman, Islam dan sejarah para Nabi dan sahabat Nabi Saw untuk generasi emas titipan Allah SWT. Yaitu putra putri terbaik dari Ayah dan Bunda. -muslimah- (at Halallaku Bookstore) https://www.instagram.com/p/B6kj2ZdHWXu/?igshid=66ae0bhnttgx

[mrizkynh]

PROMO NOVEMBER 2019 26 Oktober - 25 November 2019 . . . Kematian Para Malaikat Rifqa : "Ummi ..aku baca buku ini!", sambil menunjukkan buku puntar iman dan Islam tentang malaikat. (Buku pinjam perpus sekolah). Ummi : "Iya, boleh.. Isinya apa, kak?", aku mencoba bertanya, mencari jawaban pemahaman dia akan buku itu. Rifqa: "Ini tentang malaikat. Nanti semua malaikat juga akan dicabut nyawanya. Sesudah itu yang terakhir tinggal satu malaikat saja", jawab dia ringan. Ummi : "Kak Rifqa tahu dari mana?", balik ngasih feed. Rifqa : "Ummi pernah bacain ini ke kita sebelum tidur. Aku masih ingat kok. Sekarang mau membacanya lagi", sambil tersenyum. Anak ini lahir setahun lebih sedikit setelah anak sulung kami lahir. Mereka sering disebut kembar. Dulu perasaan saya saat hamil Rifqa nano - nano. Antara kaget dan merasa bersalah terhadap anak pertama, asi-nya kurang. Namun ia selalu menjawab: "Lahirnya aku di dunia ini sudah ditakdirkan oleh Allah. Bukan Rifqa yang minta. Rifqa sayang Ummi". Ia sering bilang itu sambil memeluk umminya. Cuma mau kasih info, buku Sygma Daya Insani diskon 40%. Saatnya bawa pulang buku ini ke rumah. Semoga senantiasa berkah. -muslimah- Yang penasaran bisa wapri wa.me/62081314253085 (Iky) #sdi #snc #bpii https://www.instagram.com/p/B4gi9DBFETB/?igshid=39slxy1imoqp