puppetkin

[puppetkin]

wanting help and not being able to ask for it :’))))

[puppetkin]

my life is falling apart and i can’t do shit but watch it happen. :’)

[puppetkin]

anyways no one really listens to me here but hey at least i can sort of semi vent somewhere even if i’m not even comfortable venting when no one is listening.

[puppetkin]

[puppetkin]

every time someone asks me an hour later what i was angry about:

[puppetkin]

(loud gay/trans exhaustion)

[puppetkin]

I had to quit my job today. 🙃

[puppetkin]

I started mood stabilizers and right now I have three emotional states on repeat. 

[puppetkin]

time to sabotage all of my relationships and self-destruct!

[puppetkin]

all good resources: schizospec only me, sitting here being a psychotic mess with no one to talk to and no help with anything:

[puppetkin]

while im at at? here are some more things non-psychotic people REALLY need to stop fucking doing:

using the fucking “what if it was a mentally ill person’s fantasy the whole time?” trope.

equating psychosis to violence because guess what? Those two things are usually unrelated.

using psychosis as Angsty Ship Fuel Angst Because Psychotic People are Unworthy Of Love So It’s Angsty™

Using psychosis to make ur characters “~~Edgy~~”

Using psychosis to make ur plots “~~~Spicy~~~”

Treating psychosis like a joke.

Acting like there aren’t psychotic people out there, right now, consuming content, who are already demonized in their day to day lives over something they never asked for, things that are constantly misinterpreted to make some mediocre non-psychotic person’s media “”better”” and “”spookier”” for other mediocre non-psychotic nuerotypicals, who may see this shit and be further hurt by it.

acting like people don;t abuse psychotic people for their psychosis.

being fucking dicks about psychosis.

I encourage non psychotic people especially to reblog this.

[puppetkin]

i don’t believe i have real trauma because nothing was ever that bad but it’s gotten to the point where sometimes i try to remember people and i just can’t remember what they look like. i just see random features and then the rest is just scribbled out or blurred.

[puppetkin]

the best part is knowing no one is going to read these but i guess its good to vent it out somewhere.

[puppetkin]

me externally: HEHE LOOK AT ME I’M A CLOWN HI HI LOOK AT ME I’M A CUTE CLOWN GIVE ME YOUR LOVE. me internally: (banging my head on the wall) I’M GOING TO KEEP GETTING WORSE BECAUSE I CAN ALREADY BARELY TALK AND I FEEL MY HANDS SHAKE AND SOMETIMES I STRUGGLE WITH BASIC COGNITIVE SKILLS AND I FEEL MYSELF DETERIORATING AND I DON’T KNOW HOW I’M GOING TO KEEP DOING THIS AND NO ONE IS GOING TO HELP ME !!

[puppetkin]

screaming into the void: i’m so worried about my deterorating mental health and ability to work/function and sooner or later it’s going to affect my ability to take care of my partner and then there will be no point in keeping me around !!

[puppetkin]

i really wish i had someone i could comfortably talk to about mental shit that wasn’t going to judge me or worry or be weird about it.

i just wanna be able to express my concerns and get shit out but it’s so fucking hard.

[puppetkin]

You: ball pit ; me, an intellectual: clown’s nest.