#bpd burrito

[brutussposts]

It's crazy how my mood changes.

I was literally about to k!ll myself but my sister made burritos and it made my whole night

[garyc0re]

rigby (regular show) & borderline personality disorder

(a post by someone with a b.a. in psychology)

tw: abuse, neglect, suicide

what is borderline personality disorder?

borderline personality disorder (bpd) is a cluster b personality disorder that severely impacts a person's ability to manage their emotions & causes unstable relationships with others in the process (national institute of mental health).

while there are multiple risk factors for developing bpd, one of the most common is childhood abuse and neglect (bozzatello et al).

rigby's childhood

in multiple episodes of regular show, rigby's parents (barbera & sherm) are shown to participate in behaviors hinting at abuse or neglect. specifically, rigby's parents favor his younger brother (don) and are often seen comparing rigby to don, or ignoring rigby for don. additionally, rigby is implied to be intellectually disabled (ex: being unable to spell his own name), which neither his parents nor his teachers took seriously. on top of that, he is also bullied, a common childhood experience that has been shown to worsen borderline personality disorder (erazo et al). the episodes below focus on rigby's home life, but note that a child's school life is very important for the development of mental disorders, too.

01x10 - Don

this episode introduces viewers to rigby's resentment towards don, which we later learn in other episodes is primarily due to their parents. we're led to believe that rigby is upset about his sixth birthday party, where don unintentionally steals rigby's friends, taking the attention away from him. we're later told that, "it's everything. i'm always in your shadow. you're so much better than me. everyone likes you better, and to top it all off, everyone thinks you're my older brother. i'm the older brother! me! why do all my friends think you're so much cooler than me?" with a montage of rigby's friends consistently ditching him to hang out with don when they were children.

05x18 - Rigby in the Sky with Burrito

in a flashback, barbera says to a teenage rigby, "you're always making so much trouble for yourself. now don never gets in any trouble when he's at school."

06x27 - Lunch Break

in a flashback, pre-teen mordecai and rigby buy five boxes of cereal in order to dig for special prizes that come inside the cereal box. sherm catches them and forces them to eat all five boxes of cereal, saying, "nothing? this is nothing? you've been digging for prizes again, haven't you? you know the rules, son. don't you dare open a new box of cereal until you've finished this one. and since you're a guest in our home, mordecai, that rule applies to you, too." after eating the second box, rigby looks at sherm, and sherm says, "don't look at me, look at your cereal." this ends up with the two in the hospital, as the cereal contained trace amounts of poison that sherm hadn't checked for.

07x03 - The Lunch Club

rigby vents to benson about sherm in this one: "wow, you're pretty messed up. my dad, he was always like, "your brother don is so amazing. just go back to being a screw-up, rigby." i don't even understand half the reasons i do the things i do. i'm expected to be a clown, so i'm a clown. but clowns cry too, man. clowns cry too."

07x13 - Just Friends

in this episode, sherm comments, "now there's a son i can be proud of!" about don while rigby is in the room.

Regular Show: The Movie

when teenage rigby gets his letter from college u., his parents are shown to lack any emotion about it, not bothering to hide the fact that they expected him to get rejected even though he is excited about the letter coming in the mail. when he finds out that he didn't get in, sherm says, "look, rigby, we were kind of expecting this, so we looked up an out of state school where-" on screen, it is shown that his parents were planning to send him to mexico by himself for college, despite the fact that rigby is implied to be intellectually disabled.

07x27 - Rigby Goes to the Prom

this is the episode that most people think of when they think about rigby's parents. there are many moments in this episode that show the unstable relationship rigby has with his parents. for example, when don convinces rigby to go see their parents so that he can ask sherm to borrow his car, sherm comments, ""drop in." ha! you really think rigby would just come to dinner? i know you just need something." barbera asks don, "so, how are things at work?" to which don replies, "great! we just picked up cheezer's as a new client." sherm says, "that's our donny!" rigby awkwardly pitches in, saying, "i ate at cheezer's yesterday." there is a silence before rigby's parents blantantly choose to ignore him, saying, "that was a good update, don." rigby then lists some of his recent accomplishments, to which sherm replies, "yeah, and?" after a fight, rigby storms off to his room, which has been turned into a walk-in closet. after being given the keys to sherm's car by barbera, rigby spends his entire date with eileen nervous that he will mess up sherm's car. during the date, eileen notices that he is nervous and asks what's wrong; rigby replies, "no, my mom gave me the keys, but it's my dad, you know? he doesn't trust me with anything. i was hoping he'd finally be ready to see me as a real person. it's always don, car, everything else, me." afterwards, sherm makes a scene at prom upon finding out that rigby took his car, screaming at the students and the principal, and eventually finds out that rigby is at lookout mountain with eileen. sherm puts eileen and rigby in the car and begins to drive recklessly down the mountain, yelling at rigby the entire time, saying, "seems like every day you find some new way to mess up our lives, and now, you've found someone new to mess up their life, too!" (referring to eileen). sherm then nearly crashes the car, saying, "it's your fault we're here in the first place!" after a few scenes, the car is eventually totaled in a near fatal accident, and after crashing the car, rigby exclaims, "the car!" sherm says, "forget about the car. are you okay?" to which rigby looks surprised that his dad would care about his safety.

as shown in the above examples, rigby is implied to be (and sometimes is blantantly shown to be) abused and neglected by his parents. this would put him at risk for borderline personality disorder.

symptoms

in order to be diagnosed with bpd, a person must experience five (or more) of the following symptoms:

frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment (note: do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in criterion 5)

a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation

identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self

impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating) (note: do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in criterion 5)

recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior

affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)

chronic feelings of emptiness

inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)

transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms

(desk reference to the diagnostic criteria from dsm-5 by the american psychiatric association).

i'm going to go over each symptom that rigby displays that leads me to believe that he has borderline personality disorder.

CRITERION 1: frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment

i want to quickly go over another terminology exclusive to people with bpd: favorite person (fp): "a favorite person is relied on for comfort, happiness, and validation. the relationship with a... favorite person may start healthy, but it can often turn into a toxic love-hate cycle known as idealization and devaluation... at first, an individual may view their favorite person as flawless. however, if the favorite person doesn’t meet expectations or isn’t available, someone with bpd might swiftly shift to intense negativity toward them. these shifts between idealization and devaluation can occur rapidly and frequently, leading to instability in the relationship." (bachert).

it is my belief that mordecai is rigby's favorite person. rigby is shown to have an intense fear of abandonment that often revolves around mordecai. while it is impossible to go over every example, i will go over a few of the ones that stood out to me while watching the show.

01x06 - Meat Your Maker (Transcript)

rigby becomes distressed when mordecai is mad at him in these scenes and is later shown talking to himself in mordecai's voice, reassuring himself that mordecai isn't mad; "yeah, rigby, you're doin' good."

01x08 - The Unicorns Have Got to Go (Transcript)

rigby is angry at mordecai for bailing on their plans to hang out. despite claiming that he's "gonna have to get some new friends," he appears distressed when mordecai finally has enough and leaves. he ends up nearly crying when trying to apologize to mordecai later, claiming "i miss you."

02x15 - Temp Check (Transcript)

doug begins to copy rigby's traits to the point where he begins to shapeshift into rigby, stealing his friends. rigby appears distressed and angry the entire episode. when mordecai chooses doug over rigby, rigby has an emotional outburst.

05x05 - Wall Buddy (Transcript)

rigby admits that he wasn't upset that he had to clean his room; he was upset because he felt like mordecai sold him out, saying "it used to be both of us against the man... now my only buddy is wall buddy."

Regular Show: The Movie (Transcript)

the most severe example of rigby's fear of abandonment is during the movie, when he forges mordecai's rejection letter to college university. he does this because he believes that mordecai will leave him behind if they go to different schools. he keeps this secret from mordecai for as long as he can in fear of losing him.

rigby's fear of abandonment extends to eileen, but his fear is not as intense as it is with mordecai.

2017 Special #4: Fancy Dinner

in this comic, rigby believes that eileen is going to leave him because he doesn't know how to cook.

CRITERION 2: a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation

rigby often alternates between thinking mordecai is the best person in the world to being intensely mad at him, often because his fear of abandonment was triggered. this is referred to as "splitting," and there are several examples where rigby splits on mordecai, as shown below (salters-pedneault).

01x04 - Death Punchies (Transcript)

rigby goes from being excited to play dig champs with mordecai (idealization) to being angry with mordecai due to some teasing on mordecai's part, even going as far to say "i hate you" (devaluation) minutes after being excited to hang out with him.

01x08 - The Unicorns Have Got to Go

rigby goes from being excited to spend time with mordecai (idealization) to insulting mordecai with his new friends (devaluation) after mordecai bails on their plans together.

02x02 - It's Time (Transcript)

rigby goes from being excited to see zombie dinner pary with mordecai (idealization) to flirting with margaret the whole episode in order to purposefully hurt mordecai (devaluation) after mordecai bails on their plans together.

05x05 - Wall Buddy

rigby goes from being excited to get chimichangas with mordecai (idealization) to being extremely petty the entire episode (devaluation) because he felt abandoned.

additionally, rigby relies heavily on mordecai for emotional support. this is part of the "idealization" phase of the idealization/devaluation cycle (ertel).

02x01 - Ello Gov'nor (Transcript)

rigby relies on mordecai to walk him to the bathroom when he has nightmares.

Regular Show: The Movie

teenage rigby refuses to go to college if mordecai can't go with him.

07x16 - The Eileen Plan (Transcript)

rigby seeks reassurance from mordecai.

07x38 & 07x39 - Rigby's Graduation Day Special (Transcript)

rigby is unable to give his speech without mordecai's direct support.

CRITERION 3: identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self

rigby has low self-esteem and has been shown to change aspects of his identity on a whim.

03x24 - Trash Boat

rigby changes his name to "trash boat" because he thinks it will make him look cooler, and then regrets it when he is made fun of by his friends.

03x33 - Diary (Transcript)

while confessing his secrets, rigby admits that he's a horrible person.

07x16 - The Eileen Plan

rigby impulsively goes back to high school in order to impress eileen.

CRITERION 4: impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging

rigby has shown signs of binge eating and impulsive spending.

because this post is so long, i'm no longer able to add images, so i'll copy the transcripts instead!

01x11 - Rigby's Body (Transcript)

rigby participates in binge eating with mordecai.

"(A montage begins of Mordecai and Rigby eating a variety of snacks. At the end, the Snack Bar is a mess, and Mordecai and Rigby are sick from overeating.)

Mordecai: I need to eat something healthy, like a salad or something.

Rigby: What? Are you kidding? Dude, all these snacks are free, dude. (Stops himself from vomiting) Trust me. If we keep eating, we'll feel better in no time."

01x12 - Mordecai and the Rigbys (Transcript)

rigby participates in impulsive spending with mordecai.

"Rigby: Dude! Check it out, man! They're here!

Mordecai: What's here?

Rigby: Our fake band t-Shirts that we ordered from that site last night."

05x05 - Wall Buddy

rigby participates in impulsive spending regularly.

"Mordecai: (grunts) How are we gonna fix this now? Why didn't you just clean up your mess? (Mordecai pushes Rigby) It's like every time you have to do something simple, you buy some dumb product and make it worse!

Rigby: What? When have I ever done that!? (screen shows some of Rigby's past products he brought up in the series like the Brain Max from "More Smarter" and The Russian from "One Pull Up". Rigby then slides the products away.) Anyway... (sighs) I'm upset!"

mordecai and rigby participate in life-threatening scenarios not listed as an example in criterion #4 in the dsm on a consistent basis. for example, rigby eating an omelet to obtain a hat that he wanted on impulse despite the fact that he was deathly allergic to eggs, leading to his hospitalization.

additionally, it is a staple in the show that drinking soda or eating wings is equivalent to doing drugs or drinking alcohol, which mordecai and rigby participate in in too many episodes to count.

CRITERION 5: recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior

Regular Show: The Movie

rigby is the only character in regular show to have attempted suicide. after mordecai ends their friendship, he asks his ship to fly him into the sun.

"Rigby: (crying and depressed) Fly me into the sun so I won't have to be sad anymore!

Computer Voice: Fuel cells critical.

Rigby: No, No, No! Come on! STUPID SHIP! STUPID SHIP!!

Computer Voice: Auto pilot engaged to nearest refueling station.

(The Ship takes Rigby to the refueling station. Rigby gets mad and kicks the ship, hurting his leg and falls into the gas tank, knocking him out.)"

CRITERION 6: affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood

CRITERION 8: inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger

i'm putting these two together because, for rigby, his unstable moods are often paired with intense bursts of anger. there are many more examples than the ones i have listed, but these were the ones that stood out to me the most.

01x04 - Death Punchies

rigby destroying their room after mordecai makes fun of him and saying "i hate you" in the process. criterion 6 is met here as well because rigby spends the rest of the episode angry at mordecai.

"(Rigby runs to his and Mordecai's room.)

Rigby: Wahhh!!! (Jumps on Mordecai's bed.) Ugh! Ugh! Dumb Mordecai! I hate you!

Mordecai (downstairs): You better not be messing up my side of the room.

Rigby: (Yells and grabs a book) YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE!!! (throws book at the door, it bounces of and hits him in the face) Oww!!! (screeches in pain continually off-screen)"

01x10 - Don

rigby spends the entire episode angry at don, and ultimately lashes out at him, saying that he's mad at don for being born.

"Don: What's going on with us? You never give me some sugar. Did I do something?

Rigby: Yeah. You were born!

Don: (visibly hurt) Wow. That's heavy. I gotta get out of here."

Regular Show: The Movie

teenage rigby destroys his room after being rejected from college university.

"Past Rigby: If I can't go to college with Mordecai, then I don't want to go to college at all!! (He slams his door, throws things off his desk, tears down his "College U" posters and turns on his console.)

Game: Welcome to College U, the College for accepts everyone.

Past Rigby: Meh!! (He flips his T.V. to the ground and falls to his knees, resembling Future Rigby's flashback. He looks at his letter, which has "Rejected" stamped on it in red.)"

CRITERION 9: transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms

rigby shows signs of stress-related paranoid ideation.

02x15 - Temp Check

before doug's scheme is obvious, rigby spends time stalking doug due to paranoia, as doug is spending extra time with mordecai and copying the things that rigby is doing.

05x28 - Expert or Liar (Transcript)

rigby spends time paranoid that everyone is out to get him after being humiliated on national television.

"(Rigby then tries to pull the man's face off, leading to a montage of several failed attempts to find Bert Coleman. He ends up attacking a mime, yelling at an ice cream man, frightening a couple making out on a bench, bothering a construction worker, looking into a horse's mouth, and even fighting with Bloodshed and Manslaughter, who fight back. Rigby is then seen walking around with a black eye and angrily eating food. He looks at a billboard that is advertising Expert or Liar, the camera zooming in to the word 'liar.')"

as shown above, rigby fits 8/9 of the needed criteria for borderline personality disorder. it is possible that criterion #7 (chronic feelings of emptiness) exists but is not expanded upon in existing regular show media due to the fact that the characters in regular show rarely express their true feelings outside of anger.

comorbidities

people with borderline personality disorder often have more than one disorder. some common comorbidities include (shen et al):

mood disorders

anxiety disorders

substance use disorders

other personality disorders

rigby canonically has an anxiety disorder (specific phobia, claustrophobia) and participates in substance use (however, it is unclear if he participates frequently enough to warrant a diagnosis of substance use disorder).

conclusion

whether or not it was unintentional, rigby is a bpd-coded character. many of the characters in regular show would benefit greatly from therapy, and rigby is one of them; though eileen helps him improve himself later on.

here is the twitter thread that inspired this post! it has resources for people with borderline personality disorder at the end, so i recommend checking it out.

[mooniechild]

Eric possible BPD

Look who we have here if is not our favorite going bald guy,well since I made a D reasons let me show you guys a couple E ones,cause honestly I have a whole lot to talk about his mental health,and actually let me add another point here,lot of people who suffer from BPD also have another mental health issues,so Eric could have had BPD and another mental health problem,or maybe none....I'm just theorizing,and my patient is dead so....yeah

1. Intensity and instability:well as everybody knows Eric was a very....exotic person as I say to myself,he would be very unstable specially about his social life,picking up fights and waiting for Chris to back him up,but what calls out to me is how much in the edge Eric lived,always at the extreme,if he was happy he was HAPPY if he was pissed he would be PISSED,he is hot and cold all the time,he would be very passionate about his feeling as he quoted 'im full of hate and I love it',the thing is,that could have been a normal behavior for someone his age,BUT also,if he was in fact dealing with a chemical illness like depression the meds should had help in this,and apparently they wasn't.

2. Mood swings,we'll just in Eric around Columbine we can see Eric changing A LOT during the almost half an hour vídeo,he would laugh and care about Brandi conversation about burritos and be grumpy all of a sudden in his seat while Mike was talking with their other friends,he even do faces,or acting like a child on Christmas morning while playing with a cellphone WEEEEEEE,he would act impatient or even anxious almost like if he was feeling extremely uncomfortable in there,let not forget his crazy relationship which is our next topic

3. Difficulty regulating emotions,this one of the most harsh BPD symptoms,don't know how to control your feelings or express them,and honestly he is this guy,sorry, Eric had a hard time trying to get his emotions in check before the shooting, trying to control his anger and don't freak out 24/7 but something that always peak my attention is how he can't show his feelings,I mean he get all confused in that letter trying to flirt with that girl from his work,you can say "oh but that is teenager boy behavior",okay what about fake a suicide to Tiffany?or don't know how to interact with those girls he talked online, Eric had a hard time showing his true feelings for people bad or good,he was confused about them most of the time,people with mental illness have hard times dealing with interactions and find the rights words, Eric was always trying to fit wanting or not to admit it,he had a lot of emotions but never knew how to feel and express them.

5. Chronic feelings of emptiness;should i start by him literraly begging to be invited and saying how people always let him out of cool stuff?,most of Eric journal stuff are maded for sound cool,'oh but Moon who told you that?'...okay let me explain,most of the time Eric made up a whole character or he so called Reb persona,sometimes he slip's in his own character and ended up really putting his heart on his writings,he talks about hate himself,and low self-esteem,and all of that,he felt empty and he needed something he could pretend,what better to pretend you're fine than a whole persona?

6. Anxiety and worry- most of the time we just can see his anxiety poping up,he play with his hands,look around,shake his legs,trow random jokes and see lost on his own head,Eric posture is always tense,never relax,you can tell that but his body language,the way he always fix his posture,adjust his shoulder's

7. Irritability- he was know for his insane ass mood swings,people use to see two Eric's,the funny laid back one and suddenly....snap....YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE?,we can. Watch his mood changing a whole lot in his Columbine video with Mike,but the most common one was his writing,the whole,I hate racists to 'call me a racist rapist I don't care'

Behavior

1. Impulsivity-welcome back Eric Harris,do I start with the van break in for fun?or I mention how he would literally stalk his "girlfriends",Eric was impulsive as fuck,he was know for being very sincere, honestly I just think he don't think much before say,he just bless us with his impulsivity and that's it,he don't hold much stuff back,one of this moments is when Brandi ask something as 'guess who is at all over my locker' and he simply trow a 'me?'

2. Self-destructive behaviors- he doesn't talk about SH on his diary,but I remember people saying he say something about it on the tapes,I believe he has some sort of angry against himself, especially when he mention having a bad self esteem,he saw his worst version,so I think he probably SH,but we can't tell for sure,but we'll he made bombs which is dangeous as hell he could had blow himself by mistake,a I think that's kinda should count as a self destructive behavior.

3. Unstable relationships- we can't say much about his relationship with his parents,but they seem have a nice parent's-son relationship, Eric said he like his parents at the tapes,and his mom sounds very sweet bringing him slim Jim's downstairs to him,BUT he seems to had a difficult relationship which his dad,he said he could had bond with him at the gun show,and his dad beside seems kinda supportive seems like pressuring him to have a future,college,the marines,him and Kevin seems to have a normal relationship,but in a romantic aspect?I think ALL his "relationship" went down the hill very fast,he had kinda of a bad temper and people usually just got bothered by his behavior,so none of them really work out, especially he and Sasha,who he apparently sent death threats

4. Frantic efforts to avoid abandonment-Eric was definitely scared of lost his friends,and he didn't tried to hide it at all,he felt jealous of Brooks in Dylan around 7 grade according to Brooks himself,he really try his best for his NY friends dong forget about him,even calling one of his friends after the van breaking and sending her a email before the shooting(she didn't receive it)

5. Aggressive behavior- supposably he was picking up fights on his last week's,calling out people and all, Eric wasn't really someone who would engage in physical fights,be he usually would threat or intimidate people,like he did with Brooks or even what he did during his so called 'rebels missions' when he Dylan,Zach and probably Brooks vandalize people's houses

6. Dissociation- if you pay enough attention on his videos you can see him dissociating,is something very subtle,for people who experience it may can be easier to identify,he look to a non existent point and kinda zoom out for a few seconds,he also bite or lick his lips when he do so.

7. Substance abuse- we don't know for sure how much he would smoke,but I believe he wasn't really a fan of cigarettes and did it most for fit in and seems cool purposes,and he said he wasn't a big fan of alcohol,but apparently he was very into weed,which I don't at which point I believe it or not,he seems like the type who would be into pot,but we don't know how much he was doing it,the frequency and all

Cognitive Symptoms

1. Paranoid thoughts- he was least paranoid then Dylan was,nobody really "conspiring" against him,but he seems to had his fair share of,everyone hate me,nobody likes me,nobody wants me around,which is something is understanding considering how people use to treat him at school,but most of it? definitely his paranoid

2.Memory lapses- he mention how he doesn't remember some aspects,and even his childhood years,this can have two possible causes,stress or....*drums* BPD...or both,most people with BPD usually blend their memory together and can't remember the facts or how exactly they happened, usually creating fake memories or even creating a new one due to confusion

Interpersonal Symptoms

1. Difficulty maintaining relationships- well apparently he had a hard time keeping his friends,screaming at Dylan after losing a football game, fighting with Nate over a girl,and apparently according to Devon Addams being a little 'let me steal your girlfriend' with his friend Zach Heckler,most of his friends had a hard time handling his temper and his mood swings,he stopped talking to Brandi after her decline him for prom,and even fake his own suicide to Tiffany after she tell him she didn't want to go out with him

2. Intense attachment- according to most of his friends,he and Dylan are basically inseparable,they would go out together,had dinner once in a outback steakhouse, sleep overs,football game,like the same stuff,Dylan testing Eric maps for him,watching movies together,they pretty much like each other company, according to some neighbors Dylan car was always close to Eric house,and according to Devon, Eric was copying Dylan which made him kinda bothered

3. Manipulative behavior- he would apologie to Mrs Brown,say he was scared of her to his Dad,and apparently according to the men himself he would lie to his parents 'like a fucking salesmen if I have to',he want a master manipulator,but he knew he could make some believe 'he could climb mount everest or I have a twin brother growing out of my back'

4. Lack of empathy-im not gonna say the usual 'oh the cold blood killer he has no empathy that's why he did it' cause I know Eric was definitely waiting for this title,trust me,but...I think he force himself to feel nothing,he wrote

'I must not be sidetracked by my feelings of sympathy, mercy, or any of that, so I will force myself to believe that everyone is just another monster from Doom like FH [Former Human, mob in Doom] or FS [Former Sergeant] or demons, so it’s either me or them'

So yeah,I do believe like every breathing,living,human being,he has feelings,so yeah,this men,had empathy,he showed some in his 'YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE LIST' he mention that he hated people who 'are mean to animals,racists, puffy Daddy (who doesn't hate P Diddy right?) and talk about how he doesn't like people who hate someone just for being a foreign

Physical Symptoms

1. Sleep disturbances- Eric apparently had good nights of sleep,he even talked about one of his dreams to a girl once

2. Suicidal ideation- I don't think I have to explain this one due to the not so shocking news he is gone,but...yeah,Eric dont exactly mention it on his journal differently from Dylan,but he talks about find a bullet on his body in the basements tapes

The End

Well guys that was it,I just wanted to share my psychology knowledge as someone about to graduate college,If anyone have anything questions don't be shy to ask,let's end with skeleton Erickling,cause honestly he was to cute as a kid

[the-maf1ioso]

Fun/Quirks of Wren!!

Tw//Cw: Stiming with self harm, bad body image, mention of suicidal ideations,

I wanna make some HC ish type of post but then i was like "Wait Wren is my alter this doesnt count" BUT IDC!!!

Wren is AuDH with major BPD

A fun stim Wren likes to do is repeat things they think is funny

Like they'll watch a tik tok and repeat a phrase like "I've see more fruit at a farmers market"

Or when their just standing around w/other people they'll do a little dance just to pass the time

They also have a lot of pain seeking stims

Ex: Chewing the inside of their mouth or biting their lip until it bleeds, tying a thread around their finger joints to feel pain, picking at their skin, picking at scabs, often biting themself when their mad causing their arm to be numb with pain for a bit

MINOR anger issues, had to take a anger management when they were 6-10 because they bite kids

Also they sometimes want hugs all of the time and when they don't get a hug they'll have an meltdown from the understimulation

They love being in a weighted blanket burrito soooo much!!

Also sometimes when someone criticizes them they'll lash out but if that person helps them understand why they need it they'll be less pissed

They hold grunges until they die/get even with them

Wren also has a lot of suicidal ideations

Bad habit of self harm and really bad body dysphoria

They wanted to make themself skinner when designing their model but after a bit they grew used to their body and began to love themself a bit

Chubby

They also love praises from people they love

Sometimes needs to hear why people love them due to a lot of trauma of being unloved and feeling unworthy of it

"IT LITERALLY LIKE ME FRFR"

more soon if yall like it :3

[gali-la]

Perona/Charlotte Pudding

(this ask comes from this post! feel free to drop some ships at me)

Oooo, pretty girl duo... of course i ship it!

What made you ship it? The idea of their personalities together. I can't even imagine the chaos.

What are your favorite things about the ship? I love the thought that Perona takes care of her gf in ways that apply to her—buying cute clothes, painting her nails, brushing her hair, wrapping her up in a burrito when she's worked to hard. Pudding does it too, in her way—cooks "cute" treats for Perona to fawn over, helps her find friends and host tea parties in Whole Cake (and invites her to Mama's—perona lives for the absolute insanity of it all). This is all on good days, of course—on bad days, they are the most terrifying pair known to man. Perona's shrieks make ears bleed, and Pudding's BPD leaves everyone reeling. Still, they learn how to work with each other and communicate, and while they're better off for it, the rest of the world can only feel more fear. (zoro is very unhappy his pseudo-sister is with Sanji's ex-fiance. Sanji can't be mad because they're both pretty ladies and he caters to every whim but he takes it out on zoro later without explaining anything. Zoro does the same, but with more yelling than normal)

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? I don't think so? I also don't know enough about the popular opinions...

[nnnyxie]

♔ meet the ringmaster!

» lesbian & aroace spec

» feminist & leftist (if you aren’t then leave my blog)

» american on the west coast

» strictly ‘they/them’ pronouns

» autistic w/ bpd

» infj

» music lover

» weed smoker

» odd fact about me — didn’t realize i met scientologists & they were so close to conforming me. i’d be easy to kidnap!

» fav fic genres — romance, comfort, & familial

» fav non-fic genres — murder/mystery, horror, & action

» current non-fic read — the inmate by frieda mcfadden

» things i love — my best friend and family, spicy food, monster energy, cats, hair dye, purple, large purses, & fortune cookies

» things i hate — littering, spitting, lotion, box dye, mean people, non-tippers, neon green/yellow, heat, small purses, & cat haters

» characters i love — badtz maru, donatello, ino takuma, nanami kento, ierei shoko, kozume kenma, miya atsumu, mha women, & sero hanta

» current fav show — scooby doo mystery inc

» fav music artists — hemlocke springs, pierce the veil, my chemical romance, breaking benjamin, & ABBA

» current fav song — enknee1 by hemlocke springs

» fears — losing my loved ones, puking, red ants, small semi-trucks, building collapses, uncontrolled fires, some men, & hospitals

» fav foods — curry chicken, real southern gumbo, sweet and sour pork, salmon and tuna sushi, spicy chili, burritos, jamaican patties, my bff’s grilled cheese and tomato soup, & sandwiches

» fav snacks — limón hot cheetos with cream cheese, shortbread cookies with hot sauce (don’t knock it til you try it), & sour candies

» fav drinks — pacific and pipeline punch monster energy, dr pepper, strawberry lemonade, & fruity sodas

[albinoghostbear]

Overstimulated to the max degree of maxness if I have to hugnone more stranger or squash myself against a wall one more time so a little child doesn't face plant into me......... I think my skeleton is going to projectile itself out of my body

Bc that's what I feel like doing

God help me

Everyone is so so nice and they're all being rlly nice and etc it's just

I have The Big Anxiety and now I am overstimulated and The Big Anxiety would like me to know that WE ARE DYING.

[princessasmosprincess]

Hello there! Wanted to ask if you could do how brothers would treat MC if they often couldn't control their emotions and had rage attacks like in bpd? Much love!

My first ask!!

I did have to do a little research for this one so I hope my writing is adequate/sensitive enough.

***

The brothers comforting an MC with difficulty controlling their emotions

GN!MC x brothers (separately)

Warnings: BPD, rage attacks, mental illness, depression

***

Lucifer - He has been watching you closely ever since you arrived in the Devildom, so the signs of an impending rage attack are very clear to him. He probably won’t be able to completely prevent them from happening though. Lucifer will immediately remove you from the situation that’s triggering you, provided that he, himself is not the trigger. It doesn’t matter where you are in the Devildom, if he’s with you during a rage attack he will take you to his bedroom, wrap you in a blanket burrito, turn off all the lights, and put on an enchanted record that will help you relax. He will make you a pot of tea, hot cocoa, or another soothing drink of your choice, pulling up a chair to the side of the bed to listen to whatever you have to say. If Lucifer happens to be the trigger, he will put you in Satan or Mammon’s care but continue to check on you until you calm down so you know he hasn’t abandoned you.

Mammon - He’s another who is in tune with the way you work. He can probably detect your body heat beginning to rise and your heart rate increase before you can yourself. Mammon guides you to his room and the both of you get in his car and drive. Tell him everything, he wants to hear it all. Maybe he doesn’t know what to say to make it better other than an occasional, “That sucks,” but he’ll greedily take on everything you have to say if it will make you feel even the tiniest bit lighter. He’ll turn up the car radio so you can sing along if you want, holding your hand as the two of you drive into the night, the cool air rushing over you. He’s your first and he’ll be there for you no matter what, don’t you forget it.

Leviathan - He’ll probably panic at first. It’s not like he hasn’t dealt with extreme rage before, but he knows the way he deals with it isn’t the healthiest (like when he summons Lotan and floods the house). He’ll thrust a gaming controller into your hand and have you play an intense zombie killing game if he thinks that might help you expel your rage. If you need to wind down he’ll recommend Tetris or a similarly calming game. He might have to pretend he’s playing a dating sim, but he'll tell you the words he needs to hear when he’s having trouble controlling his emotions.

Satan - He knows exactly how you feel. He lives with constant rage just under the surface, ready to burst at any moment. He knows very well the shame you feel when that rage explodes like a volcano, hot and unable to be controlled while loved ones are caught in the crossfire. He also knows the guilt and depression that follows after that rage leaves you empty. His bedroom, while a safe space, is too overstimulating so Satan barricades the two of you in HOL’s library with some snacks, casting a soundproofing spell around the room. He wants you to feel comfortable expressing yourself in whatever manner you need to, don’t be ashamed whether your anger comes out in tears or screams. If you need comfort from a furry little friend, he’ll bring you one of the cute neighborhood cats to cuddle. Take as much time as you need to recover, there's no rush.

Asmodeus - The so-called narcissistic fifth born drops all of his evening plans the moment he realizes you’re going into a rage attack. He does this every time, it doesn't matter if he’s had this appointment set for 200 years, you are more important to him than anything in the three realms, even more than himself. His heart breaks for you because he knows your mind is in such pain. Asmo takes you gently by the wrist to his bedroom and fills up the tub with your favorite scented bubbles. He’ll sit on the edge of the tub (or at the door if you’re not comfortable with him being in the bathroom with you) and listen to your troubles as you soak. Later, he’ll pull you into his chest, rubbing slow circles into your back and whispering words of affirmation into your ear. Crying is extremely dehydrating so Asmo has bottles of water and ibuprofen at the ready.

Beel - First off, we all know Beel gives the best hugs. He’ll hold you as long as you need him to. He’ll also probably help you get your anger out in a physical way. If you’re his usual workout buddy he’s taking you to the gym to lift weights or run on the treadmill. He’ll watch you closely so you don’t injure yourself. Otherwise he'll take you on a walk outside to clear your head. If you hate walks or you're not so athletically inclined, he'll round up all the plushies and pillows in the HOL, take you to the ballroom, and let you throw them around until you feel better. Anger is exhausting, so he’ll order your favorite foods from Hell’s Kitchen and you’ll have a little picnic together on the floor of his room.

Belphie - He’ll take you to the attic and build a pillow nest around the two of you as you rant or cry. You need a living body pillow, he’ll be your living body pillow. The moment you begin to calm down though, he’s using his sleep magic to give you good dreams to try to show you how much you are loved by him and his brothers. He knows it’s cheating but he can't help it that he has such a useful skill. I think Belphie would be one of the most likely of the brothers to confront Lucifer or Diavolo if something at RAD happened to trigger you. He won't rest until that trigger is eliminated. He doesn't want you to hurt anymore.

[911boofer]

we've spent too much time learning about cause and effect. i'm great at making burritos because my magic BPD soul makes it so

[moonlit-void-to-the-far-unknown]

how do you think pete’s in-laws would react to their daughter dating him if they only knew about him from SNL skits? Chad doesn’t depict him in the best light but his rap skills are impressive

Oh lord. I am trying to imagine this with my family and. My mom and her boyfriend don’t watch SNL. But my moms boyfriends kids do and their kids no who Pete is so wow this is a whole thing now in my head. I didn’t even see this ask I apologize, but like oh Jesus. The Christmas/thanksgiving dinner convo would be....weird. Cause my moms boyfriends grand daughter is 15 and would just be heart eyes at pete.

I can’t think of this through any Lense other then my mom cause she would be supportive and look him up and oh know she would find his chad sketches and probably not find them funny. But also see his Weekend update stuff and see he has BPD like my older sister, and oh god.

Thank god I don’t talk to my older sister anymore that would be a train wreck of her trying to fuck my boyfriend/fiancé/husband. Like no joke she’d see his tattoos see him smoking if he’s doing that and try to fuck him. I know my sister well enough to know that much.

My ex step dad oh god. Pete would try and my ex step dad would just say all the wrong things cause he’s just a fucking dick. Like he probably voted for trump level dick head.

My moms boyfriend oh lord in heaven. He’s very uhhhhhhhhh anal about things and very he’s cool but like I would just be a ball of anxiety. Oh my god.

Sorry I know this is supposed to be like a fake family that we can all relate too but I can’t I only see my very disfunctional fucked up family.

This would all also happen if it was colson or Dom like. Doesn’t matter. Dom would. Oh god

*curls into crisis blanket burrito*

[faresramettas]

share the love con panels

thought i’d write down some interesting answers from the cast (there were many more, but i have a bad memory and i took only a few notes)

first of all, before the panels even started the staff told us not to ask questions about season four, we know they are filming it, but they can’t talk about it. so yeah, our hopes and dreams of an announcement or besse making a surprise appearance (🤡) didn’t come true. they never talked about it, when you mentioned it to them they raised their hands or zipped their mouths or were like “idk what u’re talking about 👀😇😬” so obviously they contractually have to keep their mouths shut. but it’s happening y’all!

the only one who slipped, at the very last panel, was rocco and i was the culprit lol. i asked them if they’d imagined the fandom would support them and fight so hard during the cancellation months and bea said no, seeing our hashtags trending almost every day and receiving so much love was touching and incredible. she made rocco talk (mentioned how “he became saint rocco”) and rocco also said he couldn’t imagine the amount of support, and that “the power is all in your hands, and it was worth it-“ and then realized he spoke too much dhshdhfvk the others side-eyed him and he was like “ops” but we all laughed and moved on.

pietro had a lgbtq+ themed panel with an italian youtuber called shanti. they talked a lot about representation, how it changed for the better in the last 20 years or so, how for example right now there’s attention being given to trans* storylines too, and pietro made some really good points about how a show like skam italia should give hope and a positive representation to a young audience, without unnecessary violence or struggles inserted just for tragedy’s sake. how it may seem that martino lives an “easy” and relatively painless experience coming out and being gay, at least in his season, but young queer people should hope and know that that’s possible for them too. he said that he and filippo are different, and it’s good and precious that they are. we don’t know if filippo is an activist, like pietro is, but sometimes sharing one’s personal experience is enough to help. even if filo is not shown as an activist, he is so aware of his identity, he shares his own experience and point of view with marti and it gives marti courage. and that’s enough. finally, i asked what his favorite lgbtq+ tv shows are and he said queer as folk (he realized he was gay thanks to qaf), he absolutely loved euphoria, and thinks sense8 is a masterpiece (but he didn’t finish it smh). he said elite is just cute (😤) and he also told another fan he finished and loved fleabag!!

i also asked pietro what he, besse, rocco and fede were doing in the carrefour parking lot that night in august and he said that supermarket is open 24h and close to his house and he had to go buy groceries so he caught two birds with one stone, called them up and they drank and ate tramezzini (cold sandwiches, besse got a burrito he said) in the parking lot... and yes, they were organizing the revolution.

fede said what he likes the most about martino is his devotion to the people he loves. what he doesn’t like is how sometimes he shuts out the rest of the world, but it’s a problem he has learned to solve.

rocco said he’s thankful that skam italia has given him more awareness on some topics he used to treat superficially. he also talked about how much he relied on ludo and his research to portray bpd respectfully, and he’s glad that people found themselves represented in nico and that he could help them. it’s the greatest compliment. his eyes shine when he talks about nico, he loves his character so much.

a fan asked what was their favorite line to say. rocco’s is “non è figo il mio tipo?”, greta’s is “gli dei sono immortali”, nicholas’s is “sei frocio?”, pietro’s is “l’acqua solo se mi prende fuoco camera” from season 3, fede said “does it have to be my line? cause i like no zì sbagliato” but for his own it’s “minuto per minuto”. i can’t remember bea’s 😭

greta said the girls tend to stick to the script a lot more than the boys, she said ludovico tersigni literally never says a line how it’s written. nicholas confirmed that the boys (contrabbandieri) tend to improvise more and use the script sort of as a base, and that they piss besse off because he says it looks like they go on set just to goof around and gossip and not to do their jobs lol

i asked nicholas if they ate luchino’s pizza crusts. he said he had like 7 kilos of them because they had to retake that scene many many times, cause they wouldn’t stop laughing, as we can see in the bloopers (he also said it was the most fun scene to shoot) and bessegato would just keep adding mustard, ketchup and mayo on them. he felt sick the day after and “tasted mustard for a week”. fyi, nicholas and luchino are literally the same person. there’s no line between the character and the person, i love him so much. he also said he was having the time of his life in bracciano, with the light summer breeze, while the others were dying in their clothes and blankets.

marti’s spirit animal is the fox, fede’s is a golden retriever (debatable but okay). i think rocco said a cat, greta said besse once told her silvia is a goldfish, bea feels like a tiger but thinks sana is an eagle and i didn’t get the rest cause it was all very confusing lol

federico’s panel on sunday was actually very interesting, he is actually quite eloquent and deep when he wants to. he talked about how he really took the “minuto per minuto” philosophy to heart. how he doesn’t set long-term goals for himself, because he wants the freedom to change. how he chose to study medicine because after high school he knew he wanted to keep studying, and a bit like acting, there’s a fundamental human aspect to it that he’s always been interested in.

a fan reminded him it was marti and nico’s anniversary and he said “how are they celebrating? patatine e marmellata or sushi? in nicco’s new house? have our heroes moved there?” and we were all like Bitch u tell us... ofc he didn’t. but he said he imagines marti and nico celebrating their anniversary at a sushi restaurant in porto fluviale, in ostiense (rome). also, fede says their anniversary is bracciano (dec 1st) and rocco says it’s nel mio letto (nov 1st), i’m afraid we have to go with fede on this one.

i think the best question out of every panel was about marti’s interest in gio: was it real, or was it just a fixation? he said it was real interest, that stayed over the summer too. he and ludo had to find a way to show the shift in martino, and it was hard because they switched seasons and so there was no time for it to be gradually shown. however, where they imagined that shift to happen, is in ep1 when gio sleeps in marti’s bed. marti feels uneasy because of his feelings for him, but at the same time, he is uneasy because of the guilt. when he talks with eva on the phone and sees how giovanni reacts to that, how he’s still so clearly into her, he decides he has to move on from him, and gives up any hope or idea to have a relationship with him.

at rocco and fede’s sunday panel, rocco said he admires federico’s dedication to his work and his professionalism. fede and him bantered and bickered a lot, it was adorable, especially when rocco said some nonsense metaphor and fede was like “basta!” and fede kept asking for more compliments. but the question was about what marti and nico liked the most about each other, and federico said “it’s the kind of love where you like someone so much and you don’t even know why” as in, because you like everything about them, so that was beautiful.

a fan asked if there was any embarrassment between them, they said of course initially there was a lil bit of awkwardness, but they warmed up to each other immediately. one of the very first scenes they shot was an intimate one, rocco said the first kiss they shot was nel mio letto and they’d never rehearsed kissing before. amazing.

fede’s favorite color is blue (nicholas’ too).

rocco and nicholas sat in the crowd at the end of fede’s panel and rocco was like “tell us the story of bambi” and fede called him “er lucertola” and said it all started because of a tossico (junkie/drunk), i love them. nicholas made fun of him for his role in “i cesaroni” but fede said he’s only jealous cause they auditioned for the same role but fede got it, and nicholas has him saved as “andy dei cesaroni” in his phone. 

some anecdotes from other moments (m&g, dinners) i found on twitter: federico said when they shot la grotta, there was this whole solemn atmosphere, and then he broke it cause when they finished shooting he realized he had rocco’s snot on his face and he was like “MA CHE CAZZO È, CHE SCHIFO (what the fuck, gross)” and said rocco was always crying on him (i guess referring to the martino e niccolò clip) and rocco was like yes there was a significant exchange of bodily fluids. okay rocchì.

apparently fede likes his beard so much he said he doesn’t recognize himself without it. 

some fans adopted two giraffes in the bioparco di roma in their name as a gift!

rocco cried on the phone with bessegato when skam italia was cancelled. we been knew but it hurts to get the confirmation.

maxence and lukas are two rays of sunshine. not an anecdote, but i felt like saying it.

last but not least, rocco, nicholas and fede went absolutely batshit over @crazybee‘s “alt er besse” shirt. their reactions were priceless. rocco and nicholas took pics of them, nicholas was the one who sent them to besse and he reposted it on ig. forever blessed.

[cosmiccathy-wisdom]

Gratitude Day 5

I'm gonna keep this short as I can because I'm on a mission.

I'm grateful for:

1) taco bell burritos being so satisfying and so so cheap..

2) therapy. I started family therapy today and its one step closer to healing. My family therapist was shocked at my side of the story because my mom only told her that I just ran anyway and didn't mention the shit show that I left behind.

3) my persistence

4) my BPD because it keeps my mind interesting, fun and a bit concerning at times.

[doctorguilty]

[[MORE]]

I got home and just like microwaved some frozen burritos and had childhood trauma flashbacks the whole time I ate so it's like. That's cool

I went back to my room to lie down and prozac came to lie with my on my pillow and he does this thing where he'll grab my arm with his claws and just fall asleep like that, what a mood, it's nice to feel wanted, he also likes to stick his face into mine, everything he does is good, I don't have very much experience with cats but even from any I've had I've never met one quite like this, so I'm really happy about him at least like I feel fortunate to have found such a suitable cat for my needs, like I just Knew at the shelter becuase I'm otherwise so Apathetic about cats like yknow I just pet each cat and I'm like yeah it's cute, but with prozac I was like shaking and on the verge of tears like this cat I need this cat I Feel it I still feel apathetic about every other cat

Anyway I digress he Helps with the loneliness part of all this significantly so im grateful for that but I'm still just like .,,, hhh bpd and ptsd are both in the high rn I feel so unstable

[silentwaters4]

Hi may I have a psych ship please ^.^ I’m a straight female. 5’10” with dirty blonde hair. Awkward af and horrible at social interactions (freak out and start babbling) I am recovering from an ed and bpd but still have bad days. I love to laugh and make horrible puns and jokes mostly about science. I love going on spontaneous adventures with friends (and my dog) I just want to have fun all the time and and run around but also love sleeping in and Netflix. Love your work btw, you are amazing! :)

Thanks plumbob! Thank you for waiting! I ship you with:

Burton Guster

The only person that could possibly compete for your attention, other than Gus, would be Shawn. However, there was something that Gus seemed to have that Shawn lacked. Meaning no offense to Shawn, you couldn’t help but feel like you two wouldn’t agree on anything. You were too much alike. Gus, on the other hand, had a great balance about him. He may not initiate spontaneous things, but he’d go with you wherever you wanted. And the times you had him surprise you, you enjoyed where he brought you (even when it was just to his office). Your favorite days are when you two sleep in and your dog cuddles right in between you. During your bad days, Gus does whatever you want him to do (within reason). If that doesn’t help, he just holds you and rolls you into a blanket burrito. He usually proceeds to kiss you all over the face until he’s able to get you to crack a smile, or laugh. You two always encourage each other when it comes to what you two do. You also listen to the cases that he and Shawn work, happy to help. And during a case where you have been framed (because it’s Psych and Gus can’t catch a real break), he does anything and everything to clear your name. Of course, he gets a little more than a kiss when he accomplishes this (wink wink). All in all, Gus loves you more than anything. Whenever he imagines his future, he can’t see one where you aren’t there. You are just as in love with him as he is with you. And Shawn couldn’t be more happy for you both. 

[albinoghostbear]

maybe chris and chester killed themselves bc they were so tired for so long. and so tired of being everything for everyone. but most especially so tired of hearing people tell them what they won’t do or can’t do

maybe they just wanted some fucking semblance of control over their own life even if that meant to take it

maybe everything was finally too fucking loud

i am just tired of being tired i am tired of fighting for no reason i just want to have some control i just want everything to stop being so fucking loud

[beingdreeyore]

Random facts Q&A

Tagged by @dxmedstudent (Sorry for the delay!) and @doctorjustine 😊💙

Rules: Answer the questions, tag some people.

Relationship status: Tormented by distance

Favourite colours: Blue

Lipstick or chapstick: I have a million amazing lipsticks. And I never wear any of them. So... Chapstick, I guess

Three favourite foods: Pizza! Chocolate! Burritos!

Song stuck in my head:  Dance Magic from Labyrinth (I can explain...)

Last song I listened to: something off Amy Shark’s new album but I forget what it was called???

Last movie I watched: not gonna lie, it’s been quite awhile... I am such a lover of movies and so incredibly time poor

Top 3 TV shows: ummmm... Lovesick 💙 and everything else is just kinda lumped into a blur of ‘yeah I watch that’ but I can’t think of any I live for these days. The uni/work juggle doesn’t leave me with much spare time...

Books I’m currently reading: other than textbooks and BPD/DBT books? Um, The Wisdom of Yoga and also My Grandmother Sends Her Regards and Apologises. But my GoodReads tells me I actually have 14 on the go right now... whoops...

Last thing I googled: Ludwig’s angina. Do not recommend. Particularly not the images...

Time: 8pm-ish

How many blankets I sleep in: it’s cold here right now, so two

Dream trip: to him. And he is in Canada. So yo Canada.

Something I want: him. Sitting across from me while we share a low-key meal somewhere. And soon.

Tagging: every single person reading this. YES YOU!

Oh, and the David Bowie song was because I just got sent this...

Okay, no one did this, so I’m tagging: @squidrn @taketheplacebo @retro-pills @quietsis @somewhereovertheraynebow @bordermined @borderlineguy92 @resilient-runner @runner-kat @aigrelette