#boygenius imagine

[deathbyhertouch]

Better in the Dark

Lucy Dacus x reader

A/N: here is the winner for my song inspired poll. I love this song a lot, the whole album is something special. I hope you like it! please send me some requests, i am dangerously low on ideas to write.

warnings: drug use, drinking, mild angst, heavy sorrow, mild pining, stargazing, like three swear words???

word count: 1.1k

Enjoy!

The party was in full swing, a crowd of people crammed into the basement, everyone toting a red solo cup. The music was blaring, and the heavy smell of weed, flooding her nostrils. Lucy sat alone on the small recliner, picking at her ripped jeans. She didn’t want to be here, she wanted to be nestled up in bed, watching some movie. Instead, she was dragged to a house party by a friend she was only semi close with. That friend had long disappeared, being her ride home. Her phone had died an hour ago, leaving her alone with her thoughts. It had been a few months since she had broken up with you. You two had been drifting apart for months, and you were more alone in the relationship than either of you ever were when you were single. It wasn’t that you didn’t love each other, or didn’t want to make it work-you had just grown apart, circumstantially. 

Lucy huffed, standing up to make her way to the sorry excuse for a ‘bar’, wanting to distract herself from her own thoughts. She grabbed a fresh cup, filling it with ice, before reaching for the half empty bottle of vodka. She filled it about halfway, enough to feel it burn down her throat. She looked around, grabbing the first mixer she could find. She poured the contents into her cup, giving it a good stir with her finger before taking a large swig. She grimaced lightly at the taste, before turning back around to make her way back to her lonesome throne. She looked up, gasping lightly, nearly dropping her drink. 

There you were, sat on the couch, surrounded by your friends, lost in conversation. You looked damn good, you had dyed your hair blonde, something she had never seen before. Her cheeks flushed bright red, not expecting you to be here. She glanced around, finding the sliding door to the backyard, and making a beeline for it. She rushed outside, finding a small spot under the outdoor patio, and plopping herself down on it. 

Her mind was racing, should she say something to you? Does she try to find her friend to drive her home? She pondered the options, not even realizing someone had followed her out into the obsidian night. The mystery person sat beside her in the other chair. She looked over, not being able to make out who it was. 

“Want a hit?” She froze, hearing your voice. You didn’t recognize her, not with how dark it was outside. You lit the joint hanging out of your mouth, taking a light drag, before holding it out to her. Lucy murmured a thanks, in a low voice, as not to give herself away. She took the joint from your fingers, bringing it to her lips, inhaling the sickly sweet smoke into her mouth. She exhaled, passing you back the joint. You had grabbed it, putting it in your mouth. You two passed the joint back and forth until there was no more. Then it was just silence, and the heaving breathing coming from Lucy.

“God what a fucking night, yeah? All these stars out here, not even the moon is out.” Your high rambles were one of your quirks that she had always adored about you. She had missed this, you going off on a tangent, listening intently with every word. She hummed in agreement, still nervous about what was currently happening. 

If I move now, she’ll never know it was me. Lucy’s fight or flight had kicked in, trying to decide how to proceed the evening. What she didn’t notice was that your face was inches from hers. 

“Y’know, Luce, I can hear your thoughts inside your pretty head.” Your pretty head, that was all it took for her to realize you knew it was her. Lucy swallowed hard, raising her eyes to meet your hazy stare.

“I-I didn’t think you’d realize it w-was me. I’m sorry.” She whimpered, shame creeping up her neck. You let out a soft giggle, shaking your head slightly at the raven-haired woman. 

“How could I not? I noticed you the second you walked in. I also noticed Rachel ditch you for some loser the second you turned away from her. I always hated that bitch. She was never nice to you.” You rambled. Lucy let out a chuckle at that, knowing you were right. Rachel was by no means a good friend, but she had known her since elementary school. 

“I miss you, Luce. You have no idea.” You continued, still intently looking at the rather flustered woman. Lucy smiled weakly at you, she was glad you felt like that, now feeling guilty for the way things ended up.

“I miss you too, Y/N. I’ve been miserable without you.” She confessed, her gaze now falling to the grass at her feet. She felt your hand grasp hers, intertwining your fingers together.

“I still love you, y’know. Always will.” You mused. Lucy squeezed your hand, bringing it to her lips to lightly peck it.

“I love you too. I’m sorry for the way things ended, I never meant to hurt you the way I did.” Lucy apologized, feeling tears creep into her eyes.

“Maybe it’s for the best, right now anyways. I know your career means a lot to you, I would never ask you to step away from that. Not when I know that I was the muse for Night Shift.” You teased, hoping to cheer her up a bit, in your own fucked up way. Lucy laughed loudly at this, blinking the tears away. 

“Truer words have never been spoken.” She retorted, smiling back at you. She leaned back in her chair, taking in the astronomy before her. 

“Maybe someday, we’ll find our way back to each other. I wouldn’t mind giving us a re-do.” You quipped, speaking more to yourself than you were to her. She smiled to herself, nodding at the affirmation. You two sat in silence for what felt like hours, just enjoying the silent company as the party raged on inside. It wasn’t until the sun started to peek through the trees that you had said your respective goodbyes to each other, each heading your own separate way.

Love, A.

[girlkisser13]

cool about it

"but i'm trying to forget about it" "feeling like i'm breaking a sweat about it" "wishing you would kindly get out of my head about it" "telling myself one day i'll forget about it" "knowing that it probably isn't true"

pairings: leo valdez x fem!reader

warnings/tags: fluff with a hint of angst. best friend leo.

summary: "if you even feel half the way i do about you..."

leo had always been good at fixing things. mending broken gadgets and constructing new inventions from mere scraps was second nature to him. but right now, as the morning sun filtered through the windows of cabin 9, casting long shadows on his half-finished projects, leo was wrestling with something he couldn’t fix, couldn’t build, couldn’t even figure out.

he hadn’t slept. not even a wink. his eyes stung from staying up, but that wasn’t the worst part. the worst part was that every time he closed his eyes, he could see last night. the faint glow of the fire in bunker 9. the hum of his latest invention. and then you, standing in front of him, close enough to touch, holding a plate of food with a worried look in your eyes because he’d skipped dinner. again.

his fingers drummed against the workbench, trying to distract himself. anything to take his mind off the kiss. that kiss. he couldn’t stop replaying it. the way you’d looked at him, concerned and sweet. how he’d leaned in, almost as if pulled by some invisible force, his lips meeting yours without a second thought. it had been quick, just a soft press, but it was enough to set his heart racing. and when he pulled away, your sibling had come looking for you, breaking the moment, and leo had been left standing there, dazed, as you were dragged away to help with some urgent task.

now, as the sunlight crept into the corners of the cabin, leo wished he could just flip a switch in his brain and shut down these thoughts. maybe you’d been surprised. maybe you’d wanted him to kiss you. or maybe— more likely— you hadn’t. maybe you were just being nice, and he’d gone and made everything awkward. the more he thought about it, the more he convinced himself that it was the latter. you were probably just being a good friend, and he’d ruined everything.

"idiot," he muttered to himself, raking a hand through his curly hair. "she’s your best friend. what were you thinking?"

he grabbed a wrench and turned back to his project, something half-finished that looked like a mechanical bird. he tightened a few bolts, but his thoughts kept wandering back to you. he had to talk to you. he had to apologize before this thing went any further, before he lost you for good. he took a deep breath, wiped his hands on his jeans, and scribbled a quick note on a piece of scrap paper.

meet me at bunker 9. please? –leo

at breakfast, he spotted you sitting with your siblings. you were laughing at something one of them said, looking completely normal, as if nothing had happened. as if he hadn’t kissed you. his heart pounded as he walked past your table and slipped the note into your hand. you looked up, surprised, but he was already turning away, heading for the door.

you showed up at bunker 9 about an hour later. he was waiting, nervously pacing back and forth. when he saw you step through the door, he stopped and stood there, unsure of how to begin. you looked as calm and collected as ever, but leo knew you well enough to see the flicker of uncertainty in your eyes.

"you wanted to see me?" you asked, closing the door behind you. the bunker was quiet except for the soft whir of a cooling fan and the faint crackling of his project on the workbench.

he opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. he swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. "yeah, i… i wanted to talk to you about last night," he finally managed. "i, uh… i’m really sorry. for kissing you, i mean. i wasn’t thinking. i know you probably didn’t want that, and… i just… i’m sorry."

your expression didn’t change, but he could see your hands tense slightly at your sides. he felt his heart sink. of course. you were going to tell him that it was a mistake, that he’d crossed a line.

"leo," you said softly. "it’s okay. i think we just got caught up in the moment. you were tired, and i probably looked like i needed kissing or something."

his stomach twisted. "so, you don’t…" he trailed off, unsure how to finish that sentence.

you offered a small smile. "leo, you had been working all day. it’s not surprising if you were feeling a little out of it."

he nodded, his heart heavy. he knew you were letting him down gently, trying to keep the peace. that was just like you. always thinking of others, even when it hurt.

a silence stretched between you, awkward and heavy. you shifted slightly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "is that all you wanted to talk to me about?" you asked, your voice sounding casual. but he could hear the faint trace of hope in your tone, and it almost broke his heart. you wanted him to say more, to give you some reason to stay. but he couldn’t do that. not when he was sure he’d already messed everything up.

"yeah," he said, forcing himself to nod. "that’s all. i just… i know you have a lot to do with it being cabin inspection day and all. you should probably go."

you hesitated, looking like you wanted to say something, but then you nodded. "right. i should get going." you turned to leave, and he watched you walk away, his heart aching with each step you took.

and then, just as you reached the door, he couldn’t hold it in anymore. "wait!" he called out, rushing forward. you stopped, turning back to face him, your eyes wide with surprise.

he grabbed your hand, pulling you back toward him. before he could talk himself out of it, he leaned in and kissed you again. this time, it wasn’t a mistake. it wasn’t some impulsive action he couldn’t control. this time, he knew exactly what he was doing. he felt you tense for a second, then relax against him, your hands resting on his shoulders.

when he pulled away, he kept his face close to yours, his forehead touching yours. "i meant it," he whispered, his voice shaky. "i meant to kiss you. both times."

you looked up at him, searching his eyes. "what?"

he took a deep breath, his heart pounding. "i’ve been trying to be cool about it, you know? i’ve tried to act like it’s not a big deal, like it’s just whatever, but it is. i haven’t been able to get that kiss out of my head. i can’t stop thinking about you, about us. i know it’s stupid, and i know i should just let it go, but… i can’t."

you felt your heart racing at his words, still processing everything he was saying. you searched his eyes for clarity. "leo, what are you saying?"

he took a deep breath, his heart pounding. "i'm saying that i’ve been in love with you since... i don't know. since forever, i guess. since pretty much the moment i saw you. you're the best friend i've ever had, and i know i don't deserve you, but... if you even feel half the way that i do..."

you were silent for a moment, and his heart sank. he was about to pull away, to let you go and tell you it was okay if you didn’t feel the same. but then you spoke.

"i don’t," you said, and his world stopped. he felt like he was falling, everything crashing down around him.

but then you smiled, a soft, shy smile that made his heart skip a beat. "i don’t feel half the way you do, leo," you continued, your voice trembling. "i feel it ten times more."

his eyes widened, hope flooding through him. "you… you mean that?"

you nodded. "i mean it, leo. i've been in love with you for so long, but i never thought you’d feel the same way."

he laughed, the sound full of relief and joy. "gods, we’re a couple of idiots, aren’t we?"

you laughed too, and his heart soared at the sound. he pulled you into his arms, holding you close, his head resting on top of yours. he could feel your heartbeat against his chest, strong and steady, matching his own.

"i’m still sorry for last night," he murmured into your hair. "not for kissing you, but for not saying this sooner."

you pulled back, looking up at him with a smile. "well, you’re saying it now. that’s what matters."

he grinned, his heart feeling lighter than it had in years. he kissed you again, and this time, he knew it wasn’t a mistake. this time, it was real.

[acesstark]

IWTV character as random posts and tweets I’ve been collecting, part two

[ur-sick-and-married]

hi hi i was wondering if you’d ever do a julien baker oneshot with the premise of an argument/making up after? and an aftercare oneshot? (ALL THE BOOKS I READ SKIP AFTERCARE AND IM ACE SO I SKIM THE SMUT 99.9% OF THE TIME)

AFTERCARE

(Julien Baker x reader)

TW: very brief sexual content.

SUMMARY: Julien takes care of you after an eventful night.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I got you🙏🙏🙏 (and I’m working on the other oneshot)

------------------------------------------------

Your girlfriend collapsed beside you on the bed, panting. Your eyes fluttered shut as you caught your breath.

“Jesus, baby,” Julien whispered, reaching over to pat your arm. “That was so good. You did really well.”

You just nodded, needing a minute to gather yourself.

At that moment, you two were supposed to be out with friends. But, when you saw how good she looked, you felt like you needed her immediately. The feeling was mutual.

You didn’t even know what Julien had blamed the cancellation on. You didn’t really care. She had sent a quick text, then whisked you away to the bedroom.

After you both caught your breath, and your heart rates went back to normal, Julien tossed an arm over your waist, pulling herself to you.

“Hey,” She whispered, pressing kisses to your cheek. “You alive?”

“Uh-huh.” You nodded. You were exhausted, and completely blissed out.

“Did I break you?” She teased.

“A little bit.” You muttered.

She hummed, smirking. “You’re really cute when you’re all wrecked, honey.”

You blushed, more than you already were. She always knew exactly what to say.

“Seriously, though,” She whispered. “You okay? How are you feeling?”

“Tired.” You responded. “But good.”

“Very descriptive.” She poked your cheek.

Your head always got so foggy after nights like this. She loved it.

“Can I clean you up now, darlin’?” She asked softly.

You simply nodded. You were so caught up in the pleasure she had given you. You were practically drink off it.

You whined a little when she started to get up.

“Baby,” She laughed quietly. “I just gotta get you clean, then we’ll cuddle, alright?”

“Fine…but I’m gonna miss you.” You sighed.

She quickly kissed your forehead, then went into the bathroom.

Julien came back a moment later, looking fresher. She slid on some clothes, a sports bra and sweatpants. She most likely chose the bra because it revealed the hickeys you’d left on her neck and shoulders.

She sat on your side of the bed, right by your hip. Her calloused hand pushed hair out of your face, away from the sweat on your forehead. With a warm washcloth, she cleaned that up, then went over the rest of your body.

“There you go.” She patted your thigh once she finished. “I’m done now, sweetheart.”

“Thanks, Jules.” You said softly.

“No problem, darlin’.” She smiled.

You yawned quietly, feeling drowsy.

“Hey, don’t fall asleep yet,” She hummed. “I’m gonna make you eat something, you know.”

“I thought you said we could cuddle…”

“I swear I’m gonna cuddle you, baby,” She chuckled. “I just want to make sure you’re taken care of.”

“You’re too sweet to be mad at.” You sighed.

She disappeared again, leaving you new underwear and one of her shirts, in case you wanted to get dressed. When she came back, she had water and a small pack of gummy bears. This was one of her go to snacks for you. Something about the sugar reassured her that you wouldn’t feel drained.

“You’re so cute, babe,” You grinned as she slid into bed beside you.

“Oh, shut it,” She scoffed. “You’re the cute one here.”

“Come on, accept the compliment.”

“No. I’m not cute. I’m fucking sexy.”

You started laughing. “Julien…”

“You said so yourself an hour ago.” She smiled that shit eating grin of hers.

You blushed, and leaned over to kiss her. She immediately reciprocated your passion. You tugged her closer. The pull was weak, yet she felt it, and straddled you. She took your face in her hands, and broke the kiss, only to place a gummy bear on your exposed tongue.

“Are you kidding me…?” You muttered, and started to chew.

“Come on, baby,” She laughed quietly. “I don’t want to overstimulate you. You took a lot tonight. So eat your snack and we’ll cuddle, alright?”

“Okay.” You agreed.

“Good.” She smiled, and popped a gummy bear into her own mouth.

[dykehayleywilliams]

tell a friend that you're in love with them at the boygenius show

[lcvesjj]

True Blue - Erin Lindsay x Fem!Reader

Inspired by the song “True Blue” By Boygenius.

Pairing : Erin Lindsay x Fem!Reader 

Summary : One sided love always sucks. Especially when you're in love with someone who is your best friend. 

Warnings : angst, no happy ending, slight heartbreak, hurt/no comfort?

A/n : This is just based on my interpretation of the song :) also small fun fact : this was the first thing I wrote for this whole event/series (it's honestly what started the whole idea shehhdhdhdh)

regular masterlist

song fics masterlist

You were happy and I wasn’t surprised. 

As heartbreaking as it was for you to see her with someone else. You were happy for her. She deserved happiness, especially after everything that had happened to her.

Jay was a good guy and you knew he would treat her well, but it still didn’t make it any easier or better. 

You had been in love with her for years, yet you never made a move out of fear of being rejected and losing her. You couldn’t imagine losing her, even the thought of losing Erin made you want to breakdown. You and Erin had gone through a lot in the years you knew each other, she was your rock and you were hers. 

And it feels good to be known so well.

I can’t hide from you like I hide from myself. 

She knew you best. From the moment you both had met, she always knew when your mood was off or when something bad or good had happened. No matter how much you tried to hide from her she always knew when something was wrong. You weren’t able to hide from her, she knew you too well. 

Now you're movin' in

Breakin' a sweat on your upper lip

And gettin' pissed about humidity

And the leaky faucet

You could practically hear the sound of your heart breaking when Erin said that Jay was going to move into her apartment. Even if at that moment your heart was breaking into tiny pieces it didn’t matter much to you. But nethertheless you smiled widely and said that you were really happy for her. You always wanted the best for Erin. “That’s amazing Erin, I'm so happy for you!” You said still smiling at her. When she replied saying “Thank you Y/n. You’re my best friend and I’m so glad we are friends.”

Friends. 

That is all you would ever be. You just got friendzoned by your best friend who you were madly in love with. You smiled through the pain. You couldn't bring yourself to say anything more knowing that you would probably start crying if you did. 

You already hurt my feeling three times

In the way only you could 

The curse of someone knowing you so well was it was easy for them to hurt you. They knew you best after all. 

You were doing better with accepting the fact that Erin was dating Jay and you were starting to accept that she would never return your feelings. That was all until it all came crashing down. 

You could still hear her words going over and over in your head. “Stop bothering me Y/n and just leave me alone! You don’t need to watch over me anymore. I have Jay so just stop. And please just grow up and find someone else to bother.” She said that right you asked her if she wanted more coffee, which was nothing like the Erin you knew. She had changed a lot. Nodding softly and saying “Of course Detective.” You walked away while biting your lip trying not to cry. Hearing her words broke you even more. 

Seeing your sad expression and how quiet you got broke her heart. She didn’t want to be rude but she simply snapped at the nearest person. This case was a hard one and she didn’t mean to take it out on you. You didn’t do anything wrong, you were just trying to check up on your closest friend. 

That wasn’t like Erin, she would never say something like this. You thought to yourself. But wanting to respect her decision you stayed away. You stopped looking at her and you would simply ignore her if she tried to talk to you, unless it was about a case. And as hard as it was, you just stuck to it. Thinking that it’s for the best if it stays like this. 

Luckily Voight had paired you with Antonio, since before you were paired with Jay and now you could barely look him in the eyes. 

Hank wasn’t blind, he saw how you barely talked to Erin and you two didn’t spend as much time together as you used to. He also saw the way Erin’s face fell everytime Adam or Antonio made you laugh at something.

That is when you made up your mind, there was no going back from this decision. You decided to transfer into a different unit in a completely new city to start again. You had already called Olivia Benson and asked if you could transfer into her unit in New York. You wanted to start out fresh. It was a very sudden decision but you felt like it was for the best.

Now all you had to do was tell Voight about your request. Which was terrifying for you. But you knew it was for the better.

Walking up into the district you felt oddly calm. You knew you'd miss this place and friends alot. But you hoped it would all be alright. 

Quickly unlocking the gate to the bullpen you headed towards Voight’s office. “So it’s true isn’t it?” He asked, looking up at you. “Yes Sir. I decided that a change of scenery would be a good idea.” You replied. 

Nodding he got up and walked over to shake your hand. “You’re a good cop Y/l/n. And don’t ever let anyone or anything change that.” “Thank you Sir.” You said slightly tearing up. “And if  you ever decide to come back to this district the door will always be open for you.” In response you simply nodded. “Thank you for everything Sarge. It was a pleasure to work in this unit. Can I tell the team now?”

After exchanging a few last words you walked out and stood next to the empty white board. “I just wanted to say that I’m transferring to New York’s SVU and I wanted to say goodbye before I leave.” You said smiling softly, you were trying your best to be strong and not to cry but it wasn’t that easy. 

The shocked faces of your coworkers will be forever ingrained into your mind. Saying goodbye was hard, especially to your coworkers who quickly became family to you. 

Erin and Jay were out doing something related to an old case, so you didn’t have to face them yet.

You stayed in the bullpen for a while, simply sitting and talking with your now ex-coworkers. Hearing footsteps leading up to the bullpen you didn’t even look up since you knew who it was. You just kept on sitting on the edge of Antonio’s desk, laughing and telling silly little stories to the rest of the unit.

“What’s this gathering for?” Jay asked in a joking tone. “Oh Y/n is leaving for New York soon to join the SVU, so we are just saying our goodbyes.” Adam replied, nodding over to you. Glancing up at them you saw how Erin’s face fell hearing his words and Jay simply looked shocked.

“I’m going to miss you guys a lot, but I think I have to get going since I have an early flight tomorrow.” You smiled getting up from Antonio’s desk, while glancing at your watch. “Actually Y/n, can I talk to you for a second?” Erin asked softly, looking at you with slightly teary eyes. “Sure.” You simply responded. 

I mean what’s the worst that can happen? You were moving tomorrow and starting a new life, and leaving all of this behind.

Following Erin to the locker room, you held your head up high. Even if it hurt knowing it was the first time in weeks that you had properly talked to her. But what made it worse was that it was probably going to be the last time the two of you would speak to each other.

“So what did you want to talk about?” You asked, leaning on the lockers, looking at the brunette curiously. “I-I love you Y/n. And I can’t imagine losing you. I-” You interrupted her saying. “Erin, I love you too. But I can’t stay here. I’m sorry but moving is the best option for me. And besides you have Jay, you're happy and I don’t want to ruin it for you.” You said softly, walking over and cupping her cheek. 

“Jay and me- we broke up- Y/n-I can’t lose you. Please.” Erin begged you. “I’m sorry, but I'm doing what's best for both of us.” You replied, turning your back and trying to walk away. Erin grabbed your wrist and pulled you back, standing face to face with her you could feel the tears gathering up in your eyes. 

“Stay. Please.” She begged you. “I can’t and you know that Erin. I’ll always love you. But this isn’t healthy for the both of us.” You said softly leaning in to press a gentle kiss on her cheek. But Erin must have figured out what you were trying to do and pulled you in for a short kiss. 

You both pulled away with tears in your eyes. “I’m gonna miss you.” She mumbled. “Me too.” You said while pulling away. Looking over at Erin you could see the tears gathering up in her eyes. You both knew what you wanted to say but somehow you couldn't find the words to say it. 

Smiling at her one last time you walked towards the exit of the district. You had to get out of there before you started crying. This was harder than you thought it would be. Sending one last shaky smile to Sergeant Platt, you walked out. Walking out you breathed in the late winter Chicago air. You were ready to start a new life in New York.

You knew you’d always love Erin but you needed a fresh start. Somewhere far away from here, where you wouldn't have to face the reality of how loyal and in love you were with Erin.

Sometimes it’s just easier this way.

[jakeysbuttsheeks]

Me: I don't have a type

Also me:

[thatonesquintern13]

just a couple of really cool, chill lyrics that played consecutively during my shower this morning

making the bed - olivia rodrigo / not strong enough - boygenius / mirrorball - taylor swift / too well - reneé rapp / this is me trying - taylor swift

[higgity-diggity-dummy]

Good Omens has me listening out for the blasphemy in songs thinking “omg it’s so them”

[thelavenderflamingo]

Night Shift

Fictional Interpretation/Short story of the Song Night Shift by Lucy Dacus.

Summary: Y/N goes through a horrific breakup with her now ex-girlfriend, Julien Baker. Instead of seeing Julien everyday at Y/N's 9 to 5, she decides to get a new job.

 I felt it in my bones that this was wrong. The spit of the man I was kissing was almost drowning me. Actually, it was. I pushed my tinder date harshly off my body and coughed into the floor. My date laid on one end of the couch where I had pushed, while I keeled over, coughing on the other side. “What the fuck? Are you okay?” His gruff voice only made me cough harder. “Julien I’m sorry” I regretted the name the moment it came out of my mouth, my head slowly whipping around in hopes the man would be replaced by a more comforting figure. He wasn’t. “Okay, you’re fucking crazy. I’ve got to go.” I quickly got up. “Hey I’m sorry. Julien- I mean Jacob please come back!” The door shut in my face. 

“I’m doing fine.” My hands rubbed against the soft fabric of my pants. “I’m just trying to derail my one track mind, you know how I get.” I looked up, trying to gather whether my therapist believed me. “You  know I’m regaining my self worth back in just record time.”  She let out a quick chuckle. “You’re not doing fine, Y/N. You choked when you kissed someone other than Ju-” “My ex.” “Do you see my point? You can’t even hear her name.” I was silent. “Have you spoken to Phoebe or Lucy?” I shook my head. “I almost reached out a couple of times, but it felt wrong. They belong to her. Not me.” My therapist nodded. “Have you been keeping up with what she's been up to?” I slowly nodded in sadness. “She comes back into town this weekend.” “Oh that's interesting! Will you see her?” “Oh no! Absolutely not!” She set her notebook down. “Well why not? You could gain a lot of closure by going to have coffee or something with her.” “She’s already moved on.” “Well this isn’t a get back together Y/N, It’s closure. Don’t entertain the thought.” “But I just can’t help but think of the other girl in the bed that was once mine every time I see her.” “Just try it.” 

I wondered if I was a masochist. That was my only thought as I stared at the brown eyes before me. The woman I once looked at as the sun now resembled a burnt out street lamp. She wore a backwards hat and slouched, like she always fucking did. Always trying to seem small in public so people wouldn’t realize she was Julien fucking Baker. In my head, I imagined myself punching her in her teeth. Her big ‘Dave Grohl’ smile, as Lucy once put it. I was so fucking angry. How dare she move on. She moved on in the four months of silence while I had been grieving the three years of love. “You’re a fucking bitch Julien!” My arms shoved her back so hard she slipped out of the metal chair. Her mop of beige hair flew into her face. “I fucking loved you! I never meant what I said in the breakup! I always assumed you’d come back! But you fucking moved on!” I kicked the table so violently the glass cups fell and shattered on the ground. Laying next to my broken heart. The glass crunched under my boots as I walked away. 

“Y/N. You okay?” My eyes blinked back into reality. “Hm?” “You went somewhere for a second.” “Oh yeah, I’m sorry about that.” “You know you never needed to apologize.” There was silence between us. The tension cut both of us off from talking. “I regret my part in the downfall of us, but you truly left me no choice, Y/N.” I felt sick. “I mean what was I supposed to do? Beg you to come back when I knew neither of us was happy? I certainly wasn’t happy.” Why did I come here? To sit and watch her stare at her fucking feet and absolve her guilt and just shake hands as if she didn't destroy me? I felt no need to forgive whatsoever. But as I looked into her eyes I figured I might as well. It would take time but I couldn’t live my life being angry at the woman I once adored. As I gazed at her I felt the urge to connect our lips. She looked at me with the same intensity she always had, eyes analyzing every part of my being. I need her lips on mine.  I just wanted to feel her one last time. No. I had to stop. I cleared my throat, shattering the moment. A crumpled up bill was in my pocket, I grabbed it and threw it on the table, paying for my part of coffee. “I gotta go Jay.” “Wait.” She grabbed my arm. “Say it again.” I turned around, confusion consuming my eyes. “Say what again?” “My name. It’s just been so long-” “I can't, I truly have to go, Julien.” My arm was ripped from hers as I quickly made my way towards the street. 

The sun was making its way down behind the tall buildings, the neon lights of Memphis slowly replacing it. I walked for hours on end. The last time I had checked my phone it was when I was waiting for Julien at 5 o’clock, checking my phone through blurry eyes, I saw that it was now 12 am. I sighed and turned the corner with all intentions of returning to my new, empty apartment, but when I rounded the brick wall I saw a small bar, nestled in between a Law office and a Record store. The bar looked cozy enough so I popped in through the red door. 

“Hey love, it’s four am, you have to leave.” The blond behind the bar spoke to me sweetly while trying to pull the vodka soda out of my hands. “Wait-no please. I need it.” “Here’s some water. Please sober up. You gotta leave here in the next 45 minutes.” I nodded sadly as I took the water out of her hands. I finished the water and my hands grew idle. My phone had sat neglected next to me, so I picked it up, tapping through stories. My eyes landed on what only could have been described as my worst nightmare. It was one of JUlien and I’s mutual friends' private stories. My eyes were glued to the image behind the two men posing. It was Julien, with the girl she had been seen with mere hours after I ended things. I grew angry and dialed the all too familiar number. The ringing stopped. “Hello?” The groggy voice that came through the line cut my heart.” “You know what Julien-” I was completely slurring my words. “Don’t hold your breath. I hope you forget you EVER saw me at my best. You know, you don't deserve what you don’t respect. You don’t deserve what you say you love and then you neglect.” “Avery I-” “Now bite your tongue! It’s way too dangerous to fall so young.” I took a well needed breath. “Take back what you said. You can’t lose what you never had.” I hung up just as the girl’s hand took my phone. “There will be no calling of exes.” “Whatever.” I sighed, slouching down. “Come on girl. Let's get you home.” 

I got over it the best I could over the next few weeks. I eventually ended up getting a job at the bar I had solemnly stumbled into. I was serving one of my regulars when he looked at me in my eyes. It wasn’t just a glance, but a look. It was almost like he could see my entire life in this look. “What are you doing here?” I laughed. “What do you mean?” “I mean this job obviously isnt you.” “Well that’s a bold statement.” “Im serious.” He grabbed my arm. “Tell me why you’re sad.” Looking at the him, I decided to give into it. “My ex, well we met at the recording company I was working at. I fell for her instantly, but after we broke up i couldn’t stand to be there anymore. She was there 9 to 5, so I just assumed it would be best if i took the night shift, somewhere else.” “You left your job because your ex recorded there?” “If i can help it, I’ll never see her again.” A slow love song that used to be ours started playing from the speaker. He waited for my commentary, “In five years I hope that all of these songs feel like covers, almost very distant, and I’ll dedicate them to new lovers.” 

The questions from my regular never stopped coming until we finally had to kick everyone out at closing. The floors were sticky with spilled alcohol, and my coworker had left me to close the bar by myself. I was mopping the floor when I heard it. The soft sound of Julien’s voice over the speaker consumed the entire building. I let the song devour me, dropping the mop and throwing my arms around myself as I swayed with the music. I was so consumedwith the sound around me I didn’t hear the soft sound of the door opening, but I did hear the steps of boots I had known so well. Instantly I whipped around and made eye contact with the person who broke me and engulfed me all at once. I took a breath. “Julien.”

Thank you for reading! This is my first work so pls be nice!!! Suggestions and critiques are welcome!!!

[this-is-boygenius]

[girlkisser13]

emily i’m sorry

"emily, forgive me, can we" "make it up as we go along?" "i'm twenty-seven and i don't know who i am" "but i know what i want"

pairings: emily prentiss x fem!reader

warnings/tags: angst with a bit of fluff at the end.

summary: you and emily find your way to each other.

returning to quantico was like stepping into a time capsule. the bau had always been a place of intensity, where minds were stretched to their limits and where you had once spent countless hours. but this time, walking through those familiar halls, you felt a different kind of pressure— the weight of seeing emily again after so many years apart.

the past had a way of creeping up on you, especially in a place like this, where every corner held memories. you had loved emily once, more than you thought possible. but in your pursuit of a career that demanded everything, you had made the impossible decision to walk away. it was mutual, or at least that’s what you both said at the time. there were no harsh words, no accusations— just two people who had to part ways for the sake of their futures.

yet standing here now, you couldn’t help but question that choice.

as you made your way into the bullpen, you were greeted by the team— a group of people you knew by reputation but had never worked with before. penelope garcia was the first to spot you, her eyes lighting up as she made her way over.

"you must be the new liaison!" she exclaimed, her voice as bright as her personality. "i’m penelope garcia, resident genius, and lover of all things tech."

you smiled, accepting the warm handshake. "y/n l/n, nice to meet you, garcia."

"please, call me penelope. we’re all friends here," she said with a wink before turning to the rest of the team. "everyone, meet our new liaison."

you exchanged handshakes and introductions with david rossi, spencer reid, aaron hotchner, and derek morgan. they were all friendly, professional, and welcoming. none of them knew your history with emily, and you weren’t sure if that made things easier or harder.

"prentiss is in her office," rossi mentioned, almost casually. "she’s probably buried in paperwork."

you nodded, trying to keep your expression neutral. "i’ll go introduce myself."

the walk to emily’s office felt longer than it should have, each step heavy with anticipation. you took a deep breath before knocking on the door, trying to steady your nerves.

"come in," came emily’s voice, slightly muffled by the door.

you pushed the door open and stepped inside, your heart skipping a beat as your eyes met hers. emily looked almost exactly as you remembered— poised, strong, with that keen, intelligent gaze that had always drawn you in. but when she saw you, her eyes widened in shock, and she froze, the file she was holding slipping from her fingers and landing on the desk.

"y/n?" her voice was soft, almost disbelieving.

"hey, emily," you said, your voice betraying a hint of the nervousness you felt. "it’s been a while."

she stared at you for a moment, as if trying to convince herself that you were really there. finally, she found her voice. "i didn’t know you were coming back."

"i’m the new liaison,” you explained, stepping further into the office. "i just met the team."

emily blinked, clearly trying to process this new information. "you’re taking jj’s position?"

"yeah," you confirmed. "it feels right. like coming home, in a way."

a long, tense silence stretched between you. the last time you had seen emily, you both had agreed to part ways. you needed to focus on your career, and she had understood. but standing here now, all those old feelings resurfaced, and you realized how much you had missed her.

"i didn’t think i’d see you again," emily finally said, her voice low and laced with emotion.

"neither did i," you admitted. "but life has a funny way of bringing you back to the things you thought you’d left behind."

emily studied you, her expression unreadable. "why did you come back?"

her question was simple, but it hit you like a ton of bricks. you had thought about this moment, about what you would say if you ever saw her again. now that it was here, the words felt heavy in your mouth.

"emily, i’m sorry," you began, your voice cracking slightly. "when we broke up, i thought i was doing the right thing. i thought i needed to focus on my career, and i convinced myself that it was for the best."

she listened, her eyes never leaving yours, but she didn’t say anything.

"i thought i was making the right choice," you continued, your voice filled with regret. "but after all this time, after everything i’ve done, i still don’t know who i am. the only thing i’m sure of is that i still love you. i never stopped."

emily looked down, her expression softening. "you left," she whispered, her voice carrying a weight of hurt. "you chose your career over us."

"i know," you replied, feeling a lump form in your throat. "and i'm sorry for that, more than you can imagine. i thought i was making the right choice, but i was wrong. i've spent all this time trying to figure out who i am, but the only thing i'm sure of is that i still love you."

her breath hitched slightly, and she finally looked up at you, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "you broke my heart, y/n," she said, her voice trembling.

"i know," you whispered, taking a cautious step closer. "and i’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you, if you’ll let me."

for a long moment, emily just looked at you, as if weighing your words. then, slowly, she stepped forward and pulled you into a tight embrace. the warmth of her arms around you, the familiar scent of her hair, it all came rushing back, and you held her close, never wanting to let go.

"i missed you," she murmured against your shoulder, her voice thick with emotion.

"i missed you too," you whispered back, relief flooding through you. "i’m not going anywhere this time, emily. i promise."

she pulled back slightly, just enough to look into your eyes. there was a hint of a smile on her lips, a glimmer of hope in her gaze.

"maybe we could… start over?" she suggested tentatively.

you smiled, your heart feeling lighter than it had in years. "i’d like that."

as you stood there, holding each other, you knew that this was where you were meant to be. not just in the bau, but with emily, in her arms, where you’d always belonged.

and this time, you weren’t going to let her go.

[devils-bite]

dont you just hate it when you and your brain tumour are fucking around and something suddenly reminds you both of The Horrors™??

[overflowingmind-welp]

petition for a lucy dacus ft. julia jacklin colab

[ur-sick-and-married]

THE ALCHEMY

TW: Homophobia.

Summary: Julien Baker if she was in the WNBA announces your relationship.

Author’s note: Let’s pretend Julien isn’t so short for this one…

------------------------------------------------

Cheers echoed around the packed stadium as the crowd watched the players run around the court. But your eyes were locked on one specific player; number 24, A.K.A. Julien baker, your girlfriend. The white Las Vegas Aces suit her well, it made all of her tattoos pop. Her hair was in that classic messy bun. She looked phenomenal, per usual.

But this was different. This wasn’t any usual, normal basketball game. This was the final game of the WNBA Championship.

You watched anxiously from the stands. You were in the very front row, with other people who had some relation to the players. The air was tense. Everyone knew how extreme this game was, how much it meant.

Julien’s relationship with you wasn’t public, though it was obvious that she was queer. You two had decided to wait to go public. This season was too stressful to add that.

If you had been public, you would've proudly worn her jersey.

“Next season, babe.” Julien always said.

You made her promise that. She still seemed unsure. She didn’t want you to have to deal with the public eye.

You were practically shaking, and had been ever since Julien was pushed to the floor in the third quarter. Everyone was scared for a few moments, but relieved when Julien popped right back up. The scores were tied, and there were only seconds left on the clock. Of course, overtime was always a possibility, yet there was a feeling that it wouldn’t be needed. The players were locked in. Sweat drenched every single one of them, and all of their eyes said the same thing; win.

The crowd watched, mostly silent, as the players chased after the ball. You felt a small burst of hope and confidence in the team when Julien got her hands on the ball. She may have been smaller than your average basketball player, but that only added to her speed.

She ran across the court, practically a blur, dribbling and blocking opponents. A few opponents trapped her, so she threw the ball to another teammate. The opponents were distracted, and gave Julien enough time to run to the hoop. Her teammate tossed her the basketball, and Julien caught it midair, and slammed it into the hoop.

The Ace’s fan section erupted in screams. It took you a moment to process, but the second you did, you practically burst into tears.

She had won the game, won the Championship, which now made her the greatest in the league.

She celebrated with her teammates for barely even a minute, before moving away from them. At first, you thought maybe she was doing a victory lap. Or she could have been running to her couch. Or maybe looking for the trophy.

Where was that trophy? She deserved it, they all did.

You suddenly realized that she wasn’t running to celebrate or see her couch…she was running over to you.

Your heart beat even faster. You were considering sitting down, before you were suddenly scooped into Julien’s sweaty arms as she hugged you tightly.

“Julien! What are you doing?!” You squealed.

Instead of answering, she said, breathless, “Can I kiss you?”

Jesus Christ. Your heart was going to pound out of your chest.

For a moment, you thought this through. Kissing her right then would definitely be a hard-launch. It was risky. People could react very negatively. You were in a public space, it could be dangerous.

But you had wanted to go public. A little risk was okay. Negative things would happen however you decided to announce this. And the arena had security guards everywhere. Plus, Julien was freakishly strong. She would protect you, she always would.

You had barely nodded when she pulled your lips to hers, and gave you a loving kiss. The crowd didn’t know how to feel; most people cheered again, very few booed, and a lot didn't even notice. You couldn’t help but grin against her lips, and she did the same to you. The kiss was broken quickly, a silent agreement to not get too intense. She held you close, though, her arms around your waist, your arms around her neck. Julien kissed your cheek, making you smile and laugh.

There were hundreds of cameras pointed at you, catching every moment of this. When there wasn’t much more to see, just a quick goodbye kiss before Julien returned to her team, the cameras disappeared, leaving you, once again, as just another crowd member. You still felt the adrenaline, though. You could already hear the comments; most supportive, some homophobic, some just rude. But you didn’t care. The world knew that you were Julien’s, and Julien was yours.

[inlittlestarsandalltheworld]

THE-- THE WHAT ???!!!!

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee october is going to slay so hard :)

via @ xboygeniusx on instagram