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xveenusx · 1 year ago

Text

Indifference

Paring(s): Rafe Cameron x fem!reader

Summary: Two people who are in love, well he used to be

Authors note: you guys like when I make you cry

Rating: angsty

Warnings: it'll hurt :)

__________________

He was late.

Time was a funny thing. Minutes turned to hours which rolled into days then suddenly months began to blur into years. In that time, people tend to go out and experience things, falling in and out of love, enjoying everything life had to offer.

Yet, I somehow found myself motionless, the spark that once ignited my core had been stifled to a small ember. Life continued to pass by while I remained glued in one place, watching as everyone around me attempted to achieve some form of happiness.

I was once like that. Filled with some much hope for a life with someone I loved, who showed up to support me and believed in my capability, because at one time in my life that was exactly what Rafe was.

Like I said, time was a funny thing. The more time passes with your partner, the more comfortable they seem to get. They stop trying. However, at what point does being comfortable become almost negligent?

Dates were canceled, appointments missed, and important accomplishments forgotten the more time went on. Rafe’s priorities shifted and I went from being the center of his world to being a planet merely circling his gravitational pull.

In his mind, we were forever, so a couple of cancellations here and there and bouts of forgetfulness were nothing in the span of things. I would have agreed had the cancellations not doubled with time or our conversations going from intimate and deep to surface level at best.

He was never home. It was always just me in this large house on figure 8. Suddenly, he went from being the moon and the stars to just a bleak, unforgivable starless night. Cold and dark.

We had met when we were 16 and he was every bit a spoiled little rich boy that had extreme daddy issues, but there was more to him than that. I picked at his defenses until finally they shattered, and I was engulfed by all of him.

He was just different around me and that fact alone left me delighted. It made me feel special, almost stupidly so.

Things between Rafe and his father were already tense enough since Rafe bought a motorbike with the money he was supposed to spend on the generator. Then everything began to snowball out of control from there. He threw himself into his father’s work and when he wasn’t doing that, he was with Kells and Topper doing god knows what and snorting anything he could find.

Despite all of this, Rafe always kept me close and always let me in.

Last year, when Ward had gone with Sarah and John B to South America, and didn’t return, something shifted inside him. His defenses were rebuilt, only this time he left me on the outside, and no matter how hard I tried to break him down brick by brick, nothing worked. He became obsessed with running Ward’s real estate empire better than he ever did.

Rafe was a cold and calculated legacy with a large chip on his shoulder that made him lethal against competing firms. He chewed them up and spit them out.

With every major milestone, it was never enough for him, and like a man possessed he continued to ruthlessly target anyone that had done him wrong. We had everything and yet the bitterness seemed to consume him. He was someone I saw once a day if I was lucky. He always left before I woke up and was never home by the time I went to bed and suddenly we were glorified roommates.

Once upon a time, I would stay up waiting for him with my heart in my hand, hoping to connect in any way. Even if I only had a few minutes to spend with him before he went to sleep, it was enough for me. But, 10 pm became 11 pm which turned into 12 am and so I gave up. My sleep schedule was already a mess as thoughts and insecurities pestered my mind of another woman.

“Any word from him yet? Some of the donors are asking for him?” The question pulls me out of my thoughts and I turn to face my assistant, Rai.

Her question is innocent enough, but I can hear the slight concern in her voice and I know she has her doubts which only serves as another humiliating reminder that Rafe has done this to me repeatedly.

But this was different. He knew how important this charity dinner was to the shelter I opened up for women and children who suffered from domestic violence.

As someone who came from the cut, it was everywhere and so many didn’t have the means to flee and so they were forced to stay and in the most severe instances, die.

Rafe gave me the start-up money as a gift and it was a huge success that I opened several more as well as fund for scholarships for both the mothers and kids. Which is what brings me to now, a charity dinner and auction to help fund said scholarships and pay for all the shelter necessities.

He promised he would be here. It’s important for the donors to see him here seeing as though he donated a huge sum once more and could ease the minds of those who are teetering on the edge. It’s also important to me. This project is mine, something I created and shared with the world and I want to share it with him too.

I want him to celebrate this accomplishment with me and he is nowhere to be found.

“He’ll be here. Rafe promised.” I clear my throat, “He knows how important this is to me.”

Rai gave me a doubtful look and I know that I couldn’t convince her anymore than I could convince myself. The engagement ring that bore my finger instantly weighed a ton.

Glancing down at the large diamond that once meant the promise of everything, stared back at me as nothing more than a simple accessory.

Rafe had proposed and foolishly I believed that it would save us so I said yes.

I stayed and time and time again, the disappointment slowly began to etch away at the childish hope I tried to cling onto until only a dull ache remained.

“Don’t you look lovely?” Plastering a fake smile onto my face, I let out a sheepish laugh as I take in Kiara’s parents.

“Thank you guys so much for coming.” The words ring true but I couldn’t help but feel like I was underwater. My focus is shot and I find myself hardly listening with my eyes darting to the front door every minute or so, desperate to see the man I used to think would never stop loving me.

I float around the room, committed to being a gracious host, because I would not let him take this from me too. Not when he’s taken everything else already. This is the only piece left of me.

My cheeks hurt two hours later from all the fake smiles and my throat burns from the feigned laughing. The sound of my own voice makes me wince.

In those two hours, I felt my confidence slowly get chipped piece by piece as everyone questioned where my fiancé was. And for a moment, I hated him. I truly hated him because even this small piece of heaven I made for myself is tied into him.

Honey, I need to run some numbers with Rafe. Where is he hiding?

Where is the biggest investor? Surely, he’s here, right?

I haven't seen Mr. Cameron. Has he stepped out?

With which I responded,” Work emergency, you know how it is. He’s nothing if not committed.” Considering most of these possible donors run their own large companies, they completely understand but it’s their partners reactions that seem to leave me stunned.

Each had a warm look of understanding dancing in their eyes as I’m sure they’ve used the same excuse time and time again.

I can only take so much. So I excuse myself and glance at the small gold heart shaped watch on my delicate wrist and take note of the time.

There was only 30 minutes left and I haven't gotten so much as a text from him.

A pit began to form where my stomach used to be as I realized once more that he wasn’t coming. As I stood in a packed room, filled with a flurry of activity, surrounded by people, I’ve never felt more alone.

Then my eyes connect with Mrs. Dune, the wife of a finance guru that works alongside Rafe. She was much older than I, having been with her husband for 30 years but she looked even older.

It’s almost as though she can read my thoughts, because she sends me a sad smile as she lets her eyes go to where her husband stands talking to other donors. I haven't seen him talk to her the whole night, instead she’s been standing at his side saying nothing.

I take an uneven breath and my eyes widen in realization. Was this what I had to look forward to? A life sentence of loneliness vacant of any warmth and attention?

Swallowing hard, I force my eyes away and stare at the door. Begging whoever will listen to please, this once, let me be wrong. I’m so in my thoughts that I’m startled when a soft hand lands on my arm.

“You get used to it. Eventually, you’ll feel nothing.” Mrs. Dune says quietly, her eyes moving back to her husband, with a look I can only describe as longing.

That’s the thing. I don't want to get used to it. This isn’t how I want to be loved.

“What you’ve accomplished is amazing. Don’t let him take that away from you.” Was her parting words and she left, not sparing her husband another glance.

When I turn to see if he noticed she left, he’s still engaged in conversations and doesn’t spare her a glance.

This is not how I want to be loved.

“Hey, I’ve been looking for you. This is Amy Park.” Rai looks ecstatic as she introduces me to the stunning tall woman next to her.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Park.” The words come out on instinct.

“I wanted to discuss how open you would be to expanding shelters nationwide?”

And for the first time in awhile, a real smile graces my face as I answer her question.

_____________________

The first thing I notice when I pull into our driveway is the plethora of cars that fill it. The second thing I pick up on is familiar vibrations of music with each step I take along our pathway.

My front door is wide open as people come in and out, clearly under the influence of something and my chest constricts.

This is what he’s been doing? This was more important than me?

Clutching my keys tightly, I welcome the familiar biting against my skin. I recognize many of the faces, most of them having gone to school with Rafe.

If it was any other night, I would have joined them. We were only 22 and yet have lived what seems to be a hundred lives. But, this is different. He’s different.

Climbing up the staircase, I head to the balcony where I hear a familiar boast of laughter.

I cleared my throat. “What’s so funny?”

Heads snap in my direction but my eyes are only on one. One that currently has a short black haired girl nearly in his lap. I recognize her as a bartender at one of the local grills/bars we frequent.

“Don’t you look gorgeous-“ Topper attempts to run interference, but it’s too late. I raise my hand to silence him. I’ve already seen everything I needed too.

His body is positioned slightly in front of them as if I was going to body slam them. I might actually.

“Hey, wait! How did the donor dinner go?” Topper's eyes dart to Rafe’s. “That was tonight right?”

I see the moment everything clicks. His eyes rake down from my newly styled hair to the louboutins in my feet. Everything I wore from the jewelry on my body to the shoes on my feet he bought me, and I’ve never felt more sick.

Rafe clenches his eyes shut as he shakes his head. “Fuck.”

Fuck, indeed.

“Get out of my way, Topper.”

He throws a worried glance to Rafe. “I think maybe-“

“Top, give us a second.” Rafe mutters tensely. He keeps his hard set gaze on me, drilling into me, almost as though he’s daring me to move.

Kelce stands up giving me an apologetic look. “Rafe, man, there’s a bunch of people here.”

I force myself to look away.

“Not right now, Kells.”

He wasn’t wrong. This house was full of people, but the only difference being that none of them matter. Not to me and not to Rafe.

Steady. Keep steady and just breathe.

“So what should I do-“

I look at him. Me or them? It was unsaid but he knew what I was asking him.

“Back the fuck off and give me a fucking second with my girl.” Rafe barks out, running a rough hand through the short cropped strands that brush against his forehead.

Both hold their hands up in mock surrender before shuffling off to the side. The girl doesn’t get up.

Topper coughs. “Sophia.”

Her eyes take me in with clear distaste. Her hand is still dangerously close to Rafe’s waistband. I raise a single eyebrow giving her one last opportunity to move.

She doesn’t. Not when Kelce calls out for her either.

Sophia made her bed. Setting my bag down, I take three big steps before I’m roughly shoving her off the couch sending her sprawling on the floor.

Rafe let’s out a curse but makes no move to help her. At least he’s not stupid.

“Get out.” The words leave no room for negotiation.

The glare she sends me is filled with ice. “I was invited.”

Kelce lets out a groan before whispering,”Is she serious?”

The fake smile I’ve perfected over the years decorated my face as I bent down to her height on the floor.

Flashing my engagement ring in her face. “Get out of my fucking house.”

That seems to shut her up and I watch with narrowed eyes as she struts away, Topper and Kelce in tow.

I can hear my heart pounding in my ears while my chest feels like it’s going to explode. I turn around slowly to face my damnation.

My heels click against the marble floor and with each step I take, the more the ache in my chest grows. Marching up to Rafe, I grab his chin and force him to look at me. Those familiar glacial blue eyes are red. His pupils are blown wide and my chest cracks wide open.

He’s high.

This is not how I want to be loved.

This is what he wanted to do instead of being there for me. Instead of supporting me. Instead of loving me.

Dying would be less painful.

I stare directly into those eyes, searching for an answer, wondering when the love he felt for me slowly became indifference.

I’d almost rather there be a mistress rather than this cold indifference.

“Did you have fun at least?” My words are soft but the intention is anything but.

He says nothing. Instead Rafe studies me like I’m a wounded animal.

Dark. Beautiful. Cruel.

Those are the words I’d use to describe the man in front of me. The gaze that once felt like a soft caress on my skin now felt clinical.

“It seems like you’re having fun.” I quip, flicking the small bag filled with familiar white powder.

I thought I could fix him. I will not make that mistake again.

“I completely forgot-“

“How?” I ask.

His eyes narrow like he’s trying to figure me out. “Work got insanely busy. You know how it is. Even if I own the place, I’m young and the older guys don’t respect me.”

“It was in your work calendar.”

“No, it wasn’t-“

“It was also on your personal calendar and our joint one. I had your assistant send you a reminder email. So my question is how?” My voice wobbled and it was only by a small miracle that I didn’t throw something in his face. “How did you forget the only thing I’ve asked you for?”

Something flickered in his eyes. “It wasn’t intentional. It slipped my mind.”

“Something I worked so hard to accomplish just slipped your mind?” Exhaustion has finally got the better of me and I finally let him see just how much he’s managed to chip away.

“I should have been there for you and I’m so sorry,” His throat flexed a hard swallow. “But there will be other dinners.”

The dull ache in my chest thrummed harder. Rafe was brushing this off, just like he always did. My skin flushed.

At my silence, he braces his elbows on his knees and leans forward, tracking my every move. “I feel like you’re not understanding me.”

“No, I understand you just fine. It just wasn’t important enough for you.”

He stilled. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

Of course it wasn’t what he meant but he’s managed to make me feel so insignificant. So small.

“I know that you’ve canceled most of our dates for work. Even an anniversary once. I know that you missed the grand opening of the shelter that I spent a year and half planning.” I force the words out, each breath I take feeling like needles. “I asked for this one thing, Rafe and you couldn’t even give me that.”

“What about everything I have given you? This house, the car you drive in, the clothes on your back, the boat?”

It’s like I’m staring at 16 year old Rafe again. To him, material things were the equivalent to love. He couldn’t be farther from the truth.

I find that I was much happier when I had little to nothing, than I am now, sitting here with everything, in my gown and jewels.

“I didn't ask for any of those things.” By the stubborn gleam in his eyes, I knew he was going to fight me on everything.

Lately, his tactic was always combative and it was easier to give in or to not say anything at all.

“No, but you took them all the same. I fucked up, I get that. I know what this shelter means to you, but that doesn’t change the fact that you wouldn’t even have it if it weren’t for me.”

A familiar buzzing filled my ears. His words were ugly but they weren’t a lie. Even my project was his. I had nothing of my own.

I wonder how many other people came to the same revelation. Maybe that’s why so many of them asked where he was? Because this accomplishment wasn’t mine, no clearly it was his.

There is not enough room in my chest for the ache he caused.

Words can’t seem to make it to my lips. I think my brain has finally broken and realizes that no words I say will get him to change.

Smoothing out my dress, I stand on shaky legs before kicking off my heels. He can keep them. With that, I leave him out on the porch and make a beeline towards our his room.

Opening the closet doors, I reach for the suitcase before setting it on the bed. I wasn’t going to be like Mrs. Dune and waste away beside a man that used to love me, hoping that one day he will once more.

“What the fuck are you doing?” The words are hard and low.

Rafe stands at the door, his arms crossed over his chest. His face is brewing with several emotions I can't quite place.

It was funny. I haven't seen this much emotion from him in months.

I ignore him and toss some clothes from my dresser into the open suitcase, making sure to grab only the clothes I needed.

I slowly take off each piece of jewelry and set it on my vanity. He can keep everything he so gloriously mentioned he bought.

“You loved me once.” I state, tilting my head to the side. I rake over every detail of his face, knowing I’ll never forget it.

I loved him once too.

His face morphed to one of confusion before disbelief. “I still love you. That’s never changed.”

I shake my head. “Yes, it has.”

Rafe stalks towards me, his hand reaching to burl around my neck while the other pulls me to him by my waist. Familiar cologne fills my lungs and I count to ten mentally. It was the same cologne I bought him when we first started dating.

“I work too much, I know. That’s my fault and I’ll cut back. I’ll be home more and we can spend time together. I’ll do better.” Taking my chin between two fingers, he forces my eyes to his. I see the sincerity in his eyes but I know how this goes.

The same way it’s gone the last two times. He’ll beg me to stay, promise to change, and things will be good for a month before he slowly starts missing dates or canceling trips we’ve planned months before. Then the cycle repeats.

“No.” It was time to love myself. Since he clearly couldn’t do it. I will not allow myself to get lost in him again.

“Baby, just wait. Will you wait-“ He huffs as I try to move around him. No such success as his towering body has me moving back and suddenly I’m caged in by his arms. “Just give me a second, okay?”

“I’ve given you years. I won’t give you another second.”

“Talk to me.” His voice breaks. “Please just talk to me.”

Longing filled my body. Words I’ve been waiting to hear for months come so easily to him, but only when I already have one foot out the door.

“I’m alone.” The words come out strangled. “ I’m alone in this. I have been for a long time.”

“What do you mean? Baby, I’m right here.” Rafe’s gripping onto me tighter, almost like he’s ensuring I don’t leave. “I’m right here.”

“You're never here. That’s exactly my point.”

Rafe’s eyes widen before he shakes his head wildly, staring at me like I’m speaking another language. “That’s not true-“

“What’s today?”

“What?”

“What’s today?” I repeat, my eyes never leaving his. I want to see every emotion that storms in his eyes, just to remind myself that he is capable of emotion after all.

“Friday.”

I smile at him sadly. Exactly my point. “I haven't seen you since Tuesday.”

“No, that can’t be right. I was with you when we had lunch with-“ He breaks off, reaching for his phone in his pocket. I watch as he pulls up his calendar, an action that mortifies me, and confirms our scheduled date.

“Tuesday.” He whispers, shocked even.

I wasn’t. Rafe had to check his calendar to confirm that last time he’s seen his fiancé.

“You used to come bring me lunch. If you were more than a couple hours, you always found your way to me or gave me a call that you’ll be late.” I shrugged, blinking back the tears stinging my eyes. “Now, I don’t think I’d get a call if you were in the hospital.”

The buzzing in my ears intensifies.

“You didn’t tell me any of this. None of how you were feeling and you're ready to walk out the door without so much as an argument.” A spark of my old Rafe appears as frustration dances across his face.

“I should have-“

“You’re giving up.” He states, shaking his head in anger.

Maybe I was. “I’m tired of fighting for us. You gave up a long time ago.”

Large hands curl around my cheeks, pulling me towards his face. Rafe rests his forehead on mine, his piercing blue eyes darting across my face in panic.

“I love you. I love you.” He knows he’s grasping at straws, but we feel like strangers now. The words don’t feel like they used to. “You know I love you.”

“This isn’t how I want to be loved, Rafe. I see you every couple days, the only time we’re ever together is when we have sex.” We lost sight of how we once were. The only thing that remained good between us was sex.

That alone isn’t healthy. He goes to open his mouth but I cut him off.

“We never talk and when we do, you don’t even listen to me. Your brain is always somewhere else.”

“I’m in a relationship with a ghost. I’m not letting you suck the life out of me anymore.” My eyes catch the sparkling ring that once brought me such happiness. Now, it simply feels like a ball and chain.

Before I can convince myself otherwise, I start to tug it off my finger when Rafe truly begins to panic.

“Don’t do that. Please don’t do that.” I try to hand it to him but Rafe jolts back like he’s been burned. The look he gives my empty hand is nothing short of destroyed.

I think I’m going to throw up. His words are laced with raw grief that makes it hard for me to breathe.

“Put it back on.” I hear the slight tremble in his voice.

“No.” My lips wobble.

“Please put it back on because if you don’t that means we’re over. That’s not us. We aren’t supposed to end.”

“Rafe, don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

“You’re ripping my fucking heart out of my chest. This isn’t anywhere near hard, it’s excruciating.” Rafe’s hand is notably shaking, but he tries to hide it by clenching and unclenching his palms.

“Welcome to the last year of my life.” The words are brutal but he needs to hear them.

“You promised me we’d never end.”

“You promised to change. I guess we both lied.”

Rafe raises his voice, his arms thrown up in the air in clear distress, “How can you just stand there?”

It was a miracle I haven’t collapsed on my shaky legs yet. The adrenaline pumping though my veins was the only thing getting me through this torture. “Rafe, stop it.”

“You talk about indifference?” Rafe lets out a humorless laugh, shaking his head up at the ceiling. “Who’s heartless now, baby?”

“You don’t get to put this on me. I’ve given you years of my life, showered you with nothing but love and support. I asked for one night, one fucking night, in your busy schedule and you didn’t bother to show up, or send a simple text.” I intake a sharp breath, pushing the hair out of my face with a shaky hand. “Instead, you threw a party in our home and got high.”

I point a finger at his chest, staring at him with open heartbreak. “I needed you,” The tightness in my chest finally pops as I choke on a loud sob, “I needed you and you weren’t there.”

“I lost sight of what’s important to me. I’m just trying to give you everything-” I cut him off.

Grabbing the clothes I haphazardly tossed in the suitcase, ”You want this? Take it,” I shove them into his chest, “Take all of it. I don’t want it. I’d give this all away in a heartbeat if it meant I could have you back.”

I meant every word. I wanted my best friend back, the person I confided in and depended on. I wanted our late nights back watching trashy reality TV. We used to sit in the bathtub together basking in each other's company. Went on walks along the beach or took the boat out for hours, fucking on the deck, not caring that anyone could see.

It used to be simple. He loved me and I loved him.

“I’m angry, baby.I’m so damn angry all the time. At my fucking dad for always having these impossible expections. Then he goes and dies, leaving me without a clue on how to manage everything.” Rafe sags against the wall, exhaustion marring his features, his blue eyes pleading for me to understand. “I feel like I’m drowning all the time.”

I had no idea this was how he was feeling. But, he never let me in. “You could have told me, we’re supposed to be partners in this. You asked me to marry you!”

I think deep down I know that he felt me slipping through his fingers at one point. He could see clearly how unhappy I’ve become and that’s why he proposed. And maybe just like him, I thought the proposal could fix us. This proposal was being manipulated on both ends, it was doomed from the start.

You can’t fix what’s already broken.

“My head has basically been a war zone and I’m losing. The only thing keeping me sane is that I know, when I walk through that door,” he points to our bedroom door, “I’m going to find you in our bed. Every. Single. Night.”

“I can’t let the ugly touch you.” My heart splits into two at his words. Words I know feel like acid leaving his mouth. “You’re the only thing I have left.”

“Then you should have taken better care of me. You should have let me take care of you.”

“Fuck,” He screams, bending down and swiping the lamp clean of the nightstand. The lamp goes flying into the wall, shattering into hundreds of pieces and my eyes are drawn to them. I can’t help but think it reminds me of us.

Dragging my eyes back to his, I fight the urge to wrap him in my arms. Seeing him in pain has never brought me joy, but this was brutal. His eyes shined with unmistakable tears, realizing the strength of my resolve.

There was no going back this time. There was no trying again. I didn’t have another try in me.

I grip onto the fabric of my dress moving towards him, my heart pounding out of my chest. He moves instantly, holding out his hand to guide me over the shattered lamp. Why couldn’t he be like this months ago?

Why did he let it get this bad? Why couldn’t he love me?

Now, standing in front of him, I let myself one deep breath, basking in the comforting smell of him. A large hand curls around my neck, his grip strong and firm, demanding my attention. His blue eyes are daunting and so intense, I find myself fighting the urge to look away.

“I’m going to get you back.”

”Take it, Rafe.” I whisper, uncurling his limp hand, “Take it. It doesn’t mean what I want it to.”

Tears blur my vision as I fumble with the ring he refuses to take.

Rafe shakes his head, clenching his jaw tightly. “There’s no point in taking it off if it’s gonna go right back there in a couple weeks. ”

I can’t help but smile at the determination in his voice. He sounds like the old Rafe and for a second I see a glimmer of who he used to be.

He had me. Then he lost me.

This is not how I want to be loved.

“If spending the next few months without you means that I get to spend a lifetime with you, I can manage. I’ll do whatever I have to. But don’t think for a second that there is anyone else on this entire fucking planet meant for you.”

That’s how I want to be loved. Too little too late.

I drop the ring.

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mvth3r · 9 months ago

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thinking about you and daryl having matching tattoos..

warnings: 18+ MDNI, smut under the cut, light dirty talk, oral sex (fem receiving)

a/n: this was supposed to be fluffy and sweet, but i genuinely can't help myself. enjoy anyway!

the conversation comes up in the prison a few months after the governor had ran off. things had calmed considerably and the group was gathered at one of the tables late one evening. planning for a run had dissolved shortly into telling stories and cracking jokes.

glenn, who turned towards you and daryl with an easy smile, mentioned it first, announcing, "you know, i always wanted to get a couple of tattoos, but i kept chickening out in college."

daryl scoffed playfully, "prob'ly for tha best. needle woulda made ya cry."

you laughed beside him, "like you did?" daryl nudged your shoulder, his grin teasing,

"musta got us mixed up, girl. you was the one doin' all tha cryin'.”

carl piped up before you could respond, "you have tattoos too? i've seen daryl's, but i've never seen yours!"

you laughed, nodding your head. carl was still a young boy, so you weren't surprised at his interest. he wasn't the only one, though, you noted, as rick, glenn, and maggie stared at you in shock right alongside him.

you smiled indulgently, reaching down to tug the hem of your shirt up, exposing a small tattoo of a rabbit on your ribcage when you twisted to the side.

"¡ have a few more," you released your shirt, waving your hand in a vague gesture, "they're all pretty small, though."

"you and daryl have matching ones," carl stated, his smile wide, "that's really cool."

carol, who was seated on daryl's other side, nudged the hunter with a teasing smile, "how sweet."

"whatever," daryl grunted, shrugging carol off him, but the the redness warming the tips of his ears and the smile he couldn't quite keep away betrayed his false ire.

laughs rang out around the small table, the conversation continuing on past tattoos to other musings about the world before. you leaned into daryl's side, jumping in occasionally, but otherwise content to sit in good company.

and when daryl's hand crept over and started moving slowly up and down your thigh, you just turned to hide your smile in his shoulder.

you already knew what he was thinking about.

later, after everyone had called it a night and made their way to their cells, you found yourself spread over you and daryl's shared cot.

daryl laid between your thighs. he'd tugged your jeans down and off as soon as you'd dropped the privacy sheet, leaving you in a small pair of black panties.

his eyes were trained on your lower hip bone, where another tattoo, this one of his name, sat scrawled in black, loopy print.

daryl pressed kisses to your thighs, mumbling,

"ain't tell 'em 'bout this one, girl."

you hummed quietly, trying not to shift as you felt yourself start to heat up at the tone of his voice,

"didn't need to."

daryl didn't respond, instead brushing his finger over the tattoo before following it with his tongue.

your answering whine made him grin. he didn't stop with his kisses, still peppering them over your thighs, but his fingers did hook under the hem of your panties, sliding them to the side just enough to expose you.

dary's groan was guttural as he took you in, glistening from your own wetness, "damn right you didn't. 's just for me, ain't it?"

"yeah, d," you mumbled, suddenly overwhelmed with the proximity, his unrelenting gaze on you,

"got it just for you, baby."

daryl's eyes were glazed when they flicked up from your wet cunt to meet yours. he loved that fucking tattoo, had since you got it way back when. it made him a little crazy, seeing you branded with his name, and all just because you wanted to.

he descended onto you with fervor, moans coming from you both as he licked broad strokes up your slit. your hand slid through his dark locks, holding him to you as he did.

through the haze of pleasure, your mind drifted back to the tattoo. you'd get a hundred more if you could, if it meant seeing daryl light up at the sight. that was everything.

your head cocked back when daryl's lips closed over your clit, sucking hard. you could feel his fingers swirling around your entrance as well, but you were acutely aware that his other hand hadn't moved from where it rested over your hip bone.

you reached down to intertwine your fingers with his, content to fall back into the bliss he was giving you once more.

your man, your daryl, a lover through and through.

and you knew this because, just as his name sat immortalized on the skin of your hip, yours was stamped permanently over his heart.

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon imagine #twd imagine

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yuri-is-online · 6 months ago

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I swear the Hotarubi chapter has me thinking abt all this stuff honestly, especially with how darkwick treats ghouls and stuff (With how zenji puts it “if we ghouls are birds, then Darkwick is a birdcage with a heavy lock.”)

Speaking of Zenji, oml the plot twist at the end, I was legitimately tripping when Haku was like “there’s three ghouls in Hotarubi” and I was like, yeah, obviously, BUT THE REVEAL, I WAS SO SURPRISED. IT ALSO MAKES ME SAD TOO LIKE I WANTED TO CRY:(( I love Zenji and when he made Haku showed us one of his video and nothing appeared cause yk, I wanted to just curl up in a ball and sob

Haku is still kinda sus but i honestly love him still AND OML HE WAS SO SMOOTH THIS CHAP ESPECIALLY WHEN HE HELPED US TAKE OFF THE FOX ROBE AND HE WAS LIKE “I’m always down for helping you get undressed” AHSHAJDJA I WAS GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET FR FR

They had to kill of Zenji because he respects women too much, the sheer power of his "what are we doing to our beautiful queens?" Energy would have broken the curse within seconds and no I am not coping because he was my no 1 Hotarubi boy before and after and forever shut up

I really liked Hotarubi's chapter! It answered some questions by expanding our horizons and making it clear where we needed to focus. I don't think the school were ever set up to be "the good guys" but I wasn't expecting it to become as dark as it did? Like who was responsible for feeding Lyca? He is getting fed right, and not just by Subaru? Is Subaru feeding him? Cornelius I defended you in the shitty headmaster race but even Crowley fed Yuu please don't let him take the W in this.

Haku... I think I have mentioned this before but I will say it again and mention it in my Clash post but just because the spy/traitor is a traitor to the ghouls does not mean he is a traitor to MC. I don't know if any of you caught this, but MC asks him why he's so determined to help everyone at the school he says this:

Zenji's lines sort of imply he's flirty and charming with everyone, but his forwardness with the MC coupled with some of his affection lines makes me think that person he wants to help is her. And I am going to cut myself off here before I get to carried away.

i'm so sad a bout Zenji I broke out Vanilla Twilight from 2010 jail help

#<3 asks #tokyo debunker #tdb #tdb spoilers #tokyo debunker spoilers #zenji kotodama #haku kusanagi

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firenati0n · 11 months ago

Text

roop's first rwrb fics aka fics that left an impact aka fics that kicked off her rwrb fic love aka fics that make her heart go weeeoooweeeooo <3

hello! this list was quite literally revealed to me in a dream just now...which means now you all have to read it. happy holidays. a gift for you.

i read RWRB when it released, but started reading rwrb fics earlier this year during some tough titty times...and have since discovered a gorgeous community of folks just pouring their hearts out into the fandom fabric, giving me the courage to start putting bits of my work out there as well. here are some of the works that were present in my life at VERY roop-specific moments this year:

First fic I sent kudos to (i caved and made an ao3 after reading this one lmaoooo): With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest) by @kiwiana-writes

First fic that forced me to send my first tumblr ask screaming directly at the author for my feelings: also With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest) by @kiwiana-writes

First fic I bookmarked with the knowledge that this fic would destroy me: all that glitters (is not gold) by @indomitable-love

First fic I reread immediately after finishing like literally immediately: Going Platinum by @cricketnationrise

First fic I sent to someone not in the rwrb fandom but is a fan of the au so i schemed that this fic would suck them into the rwrb fandom and I was successful: Rogue's Gallery by @orchidscript

First fic(s) I sent to a boy as a bizarre mating ritual that actually worked: lifelines by @indomitable-love, Am I the Asshole? by @everwitch-magiks, and i ask you how you're doing (and i let you lie) by @matherines (his first fics, he loved them btw)

First fic that made me ugly cry not because it was inherently sad but because i achieved emotional catharsis i was not expecting: One Too Many Mornings by @orchidscript

First fic that made me CRY LAUGH until i was wheezing: and history remembered. by @sherryvalli

First fic that was a WIP I followed and screamed with each update: Cold Cases, Lost Causes by @tintagel-or-cockleshells

First fic that made me run laps around my room in sheer stress: Nova, Baby by @cha-melodius

First fic that made me run laps around my room in sheer thirst: Show Me What You're Working With by @clottedcreamfudge

First fic that made me giggle and kick my feet and blush: No Sense or Sensibility by @inexplicablymine

First fic that made me cry buckets in a costco parking lot: i ask you how you're doing (and i let you lie) by @matherines

First fic that made me learn something new about myself and patched up a crack in my heart: Down By The Water, I Saw You by @myheartalivewrites

First fic that taught me something I didn't know and had me doing a deep dive on wikipedia for 3 straight hours: Moonlighting by @orchidscript

First fic that had me writhing on the floor in absolute agony: What Do I Know? by @three-drink-amy

First fic that made me stare tearfully at a wall in quiet contemplation: Help Me Hold On to You by @affectionatelyrs

First fic that had me slamming subscribe to a series faster than I could say "kinktober": Temperature's Up, 'Bout to Erupt by @sparklepocalypse

First fic that opened my eyes to a whole new world of tags and also a new part of my brain: In His Wildest Dreams by @myheartalivewrites

First fic that made me feel such insane amounts of pining and yearning and longing that i had to take a walk: but if you could see us from a distance, you’d know i’ve always been so close to you by @anincompletelist

First fic that made me rethink my life while sitting in a DMV lobby waiting to renew my driver's license: Deep Blue by @myheartalivewrites

First fic that made me stay up all night to comment on each chapter as I read it in one sitting: Omakase by @orchidscript

First fic that I reread and live reacted to the author 3 hours before my dissertation was due instead of finishing the damn paper: to the victor, the spoils by @rmd-writes

First fic that made me feel incredibly homesick and had me looking up flights at 4am: after hours by @dumbpeachjuice

And finally... First fic I ever wrote after reading all of these incredible fics and wanting to also put a little piece of silly roop out into the world: our world, mine and his alone (the midnight train to go) by me :)

if you made it this far, thanks for reading. love you all. <3

xoxo roop

#rwrb fics #fic recs #rwrb #fanfiction #roop writes #my post #i fucking love y'all so much #cannot even emphasize that enough #roop recs

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earthtoharlow · 2 years ago

Text

Previous Chapter

SERIES MASTERLIST

THESHADEROOM

liked by 975,085 users

theshaderoom: Look who’s back! #Y/NY/L does her first interview since leaving social media for over a year! Y/N talks about becoming a mother and dating #Drake and ex #JackHarlow

“Sometimes, I look in the mirror in the mornings and just say to myself “Oh my God! Bitch you’re someone’s mother!” It’s hard work, but I love every part of it. “

Y/L continues “it doesn’t feel like work though, having Ariel has made me look at the world with a new set of eyes. This sounds spiritual, but I really do feel born again.”

The rapper/model couldn’t hide the smile on her face when asked about Drake!

“Aubrey, brings me so much peace. After everything that happened in my last relationship, the idea of a new relationship was out of the question. Starting a family with him has made me finally understand why it didn’t work out with anyone else. He was always meant to be the one for me.”

Additionally, Y/N reflects on her past relationship with Rapper Jack Harlow.

“I’ll be honest, the day his Vogue feature came out. I immediately called him. What people don’t understand is that I was with him for 2 years, we were planning our whole lives together. I won’t go into details about our conversation but after that I sat back, watched, and cried while letting them have their moment. Which hurt a lot but I’m grateful for it because now I’m with the person I’m supposed to be with.” Click the link in our bio to read more!

view all 14,689 comments

user: aw I’m really so happy for her

user: something seems fishy about them idk

user: see how y/n can do an interview and not talk shit about Jack Harlow?! Even though he deserves it!!

user: Drake can’t keep a women so they’ll be broken up soon

user: I know Jack and all his baby mamas shaking and crying

user: no wonder Stacey is jealous of Y/N

user: she’s so mature because if my ex was slamming my name in interviews I would raise hell!!!

user: she seems to be in such a great place mentally!

user: damn she’s really a mother

THATGIRLSTACEY

liked by jackharlow, haileybieber, kimkardashian, justineskye, chrissyteigen, oliviaculpo, neelamthadhani and 783,529 others

thatgirlstacey: that look when bitches can’t keep your husband name out their mouth

view all 5674 comments

user: girl, you need to be worried about if Jack had another baby on you

haileybieber: 🤦🏼‍♀️ tell me about it

user: yeah y/n is weird

user: so y’all can talk about her but she can’t?

user: y/n didn’t say anything bad about you or your relationship

user: you lucky y/n didn’t drag tf outta you both

kimkardashian: sending you love 💕

user: ok enough about y/n girl you look good af

user: bitches stay jealous

jackharlow: love running their mouth 🙄

user: you ain’t broken up with him yet?!!

user: you won, you got the man! Leave y/n alone

JACKHARLOWSOURCE

liked by 5,790 users

jackharlowsource: Jack Harlow and Stacey James-Harlow at the “White Men Can’t Jump” movie premiere!

view all 635 comments

user: my parents

user: damn sorry to hear that

user: they’re so cuuuute!

user: Glad to see they’re still together! I was getting worried especially with reports saying they separated!

user: she’ll never leave that man, same tbh

user: he was never that happy with Y/n

user: goals

CHAMPAGNEPAPI

Liked by yourinsta, icespice, partynextdoor, chubbsview, Beyoncé,SZA, urbanwyatt, druski, and 1,425,116 others

champagnepapi: I would clear a whole town for you 🤞

view all 836 comments

celeb: that’s twin!

celeb: love y’all!

celeb: now when something happens in Kentucky we know who did it 🤣

yourinsta: don’t play bout mine 💕

celeb: wipe that white boy like a snotty!

celeb: yeah they need ass beat

YOURINSTA

liked by selenagomez, saweetie, dojacat, sza, summerwalker, urbanwyatt, flomillishit, 1dessdior and 678,367 others

yourinsta: For him it’s whatever with whoever 🤞

view all 8,457 comments

saweetie: I know that’s right bby!

user: goals

user: yeah fuck Jack and his wife!!

selenagomez: 💕💕💕

user: love seeing you so happy

user: between Drake’s post and this one, I think Jack about to get touched 😵‍💫

SZA: 🤭 kill bill

TMZ_TV

liked by 996,468 users

tmz_tv: Details are scarce, but according to a report on Hollywood Unlocked Jack Harlow was celebrating the release of the White Men Can’t Jump reboot when he was punched in the face.

According to a source, the celebrity-filled after party was going well until Jack Harlow reportedly acted rudely towards wife Stacey James for unknown reasons.

A few guest tried to intervene but the situation got worse. He was confronted about his behavior to his wife and mother of his child.

The source told Hollywood Unlocked that a physical altercation occurred between the guest with Harlow leaving with a “bloodied nose."

view all 13,678 comments

user: HOLY SHIT

user: ovo crew definitely jumped him

user: deserved

user: imagine getting jumped in front of your family I’d cry

user: drake said he’d spin bout y/n and he meant that

user: I think this is just karma

user: what a dick

user: omg can someone check and see if he’s okay

—————————————————————————-

AN: damn that’s crazy 🤪 I’ve missed toxic Jack so much so I wrote this up! Next part of this AU series probably won’t be up until Father’s Day because we still have to find out if Jack had another baby 😳 so much drama

Tag List:

(message me if you'd like to be added or removed)

@heavyhitterheaux @hoodharlow @neon-lights-and-glitter @babiefries @toocriticalharlow @mace23477 @jackmans-poison @dstark-0706 @harlowsbby @itsyagirljaz @leftapricotprofessorlover @laylasbunbunny @ilyangelsxo @comehomeimissyou @minkookie95 @harlowcomehome @jackharloww

#jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow reader #social media au #jack harlow instagram au #jack harlow #toxic

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wolfbitkki · 8 months ago

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Maybe a Teacher!Sunghoon with student!Jake being punished for something? Age gap included Pretty please 🥺

Hellooo~~ Hope you like it!

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Teacher!Sunghoon x Student!Jake

teacher dom/student sub dynamics, age gap, punishment, spanking - impact play

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

"Teacher's Pet"

The light scent of mold was already familiar to him. Multiple times he got spanked with the wooden ruler while facing the corner, nose touching the cold wall and the fingertips squeezing his own thighs at the stinging pain on his bare backside.

The only thing Jake liked more than this, was that time when Mr. Park would place him over his knee after the class for cussing at some colleagues. He cried and Mr. Park swiped his tears, comforting his golden boy after causing him so much pain.

And a boner.

Surprisingly, today was not the day that he was punished for cussing or for being 'unintentionally' disrespectful; instead, he purposely forgot his philosophy assignment. Who actually wants to know 'bout Greek mythology and it's philosophers?

He forgot how many swats he received; he lost track of time too, but that doesn't matter since he lived alone, and Lyla, his surprisingly calm Golden retriever, had already been fed by his gentle neighbor Mrs. Im, a 63 years old lady who loved him 'as a grandson', like she said one time, and fed Lyla when he needed to stay more time than expected away from home.

Poor Mrs. Im. She would never would imagine her smiley 'grandson' nose-touching an university's wall, receiving ruler swats from his 44 years old teacher.

His knee twitched and hit the wall Infront of him when a particularly hard swat came into the back of thighs, making him hiss in pain.

"I think you'll want to stay in silence, Mr. Sim, or perhaps you want to get into worse trouble than you're already?"

Sunghoon watched as his boy only shook his head, knowing better than speak. At least, he knew that he shouldn't push him too much on the edge.

"Ten more, and we're over with the swats, did I made myself clear?"

A nod and a sniff. Good.

The first of the lasts swats came already harder than the others, what makes Jake jolt in surprise and pain.

The second and the third came in the same intensity, the teacher watching cautiously every reaction of his boy, conscious about the shivers in the small body of his student.

At the fourth swat, Jake came in a loud whine, untouched, hard and messy against the wall Infront of him. Mr. Park rolled his eyes at the scene, so pathetic. But his stone hard dick stuffed in his pants also told him that had something really hot at the image of the boy on his early twenties cumming by the pain he's causing.

Oversensitive, the last 6 swats were the ones who hurt the most, the younger crying harder at each of them. With a sigh, Sunghoon left his wooden ruler on his desk, grabbed some tissues he had on the desk and went on Sim's direction, rubbing his back with his palm, a wordless way to say 'it's over, you're okay now'. The student wait no time to turn around and hug his teacher like a life line, clinging into him. With the tissues, he cleaned the wall and also the boy's member, making him yelp and cry in overstimulation. Softly, Sunghoon shushed him and discarded the dirty tissues. Normally, he would make Jake come again and again, overstimulating him to the extreme, but today he went easy on him since he was already too sensible. Sitting on his chair, he helped Jake totally out of his pants that were stuck in his ankles and sat him on his lap, ignoring his whine as his burning bottom touched the fabric of the older's pants.

"Today you're coming with me to my place, okay Jake? So I can take proper care of this" He said when rubbing gently his palm over the hot flesh of Jake's bottom.

In this moment, they were not Mr. Park and Mr. Sim. Instead they were just Jake and Sunghoon.

Without talking, Jake only nodded against Sunghoon's shoulder, not caring for someone may seeing them like this, all the doors were locked and the teacher didn't had any more classes this day.

Everything were going to be okay.

#sub!idol #sub!enhypen #jakehoon #sunghoon #jake #park sunghoon #sim jaeyun #fanfic #enhypen

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thegracefulknight · 5 months ago

Text

Ciel/Lizzy Playlist

Long post ahead

Okay, so I tried made a list of songs which I think would be perfect for them. ♫ These songs are based from both of their POVs, though it may lean more towards Lizzy's.

Each song is arranged according to how O!Ciel and Lizzy's dynamics progressed through the manga. I also included parts of the song lyrics that highlight their relationship well, or those that resonate with important parts in their story. The first few songs are kinda meh but the last ones are sure to hurt like crazy! xD This playlist has 26 songs btw, so prepare your tissues and cry with me!

Hope you guys give it a listen! ♡

Song List:

1. Sad Song (We The Kings ft. Elena Coats)

—A light, almost fairy-tale like opening highlighting Lizzy and her dreams with R!Ciel. Together with O!Ciel, they are three children living in their happy, idyllic childhood.

"You're the perfect melody, the only harmony I wanna hear / You're my favorite part of me/ With you standing next to me /I've got nothing to fear"

2. When You're Gone (Avril Lavigne)

— Lizzy's sorrow after the murder of the Phantomhives. She remembers the boy she had sacrificed a lot of things for, the boy who was supposed to be her fairytale ending.

"When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you / When you're gone, the face I came to know is missing too/ And when you're gone /The words I need to hear to always get me through the day /And make it okay /I miss you"

3. Safe and Sound (Taylor Swift ft. Joy Williams & Paul White)

— "Ciel" returns after one month; however, he has now changed. For the sake of the broken boy who returned to her, Lizzy makes another sacrifice, vowing to be a wife that could protect him, and keep him safe.

"Just close your eyes, the sun is going down / You'll be alright / No one can hurt you now / Come morning light / You and I'll be safe and sound"

4. Your Guardian Angel (The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus)

— Despite not wanting to get closer to her initially, O!Ciel finds himself caring for his brother's betrothed. He has protected her time and again, and vows to always protect her at all costs.

"Seasons are changing, and waves are crashing / And stars are falling all for us / Days grow longer and nights grow shorter / I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall) / I'll stand up with you forever / I'll be there for you through it all (through it all) / Even if saving you sends me to heaven"

5. THE CONTORTIONIST (Melanie Martinez)

— A song where Lizzy contemplates on how she keeps up the facade of being cute for her fiancé because of a comment made a long time ago. This song highlights the moment where she decides she is done pretending to be weak and cute.

"Twisted all my limbs for you / Two of them in knots and two of them in loops / Ribbons tied around like a noose / Wonder if I'll ever get it loose / I don't wanna bruise for you /Holding back my words until my face is blue (Huh) /I don't really care 'bout your crew / You can tell 'em what you wanted to

... I'm done, I'm done /Done doing backbends, I break and I snap / It's no fun, no fun / Pushed myself into a box while you held out a gun /I'm done! Wah ha ha ha ha ha hah! / I'm done, I'm done! Wah ha ha ha ha ha hah!"

6. Queen (Loren Gray)

— The theme for the monumental scene where she drops the act and reveals her strength in the midst of the bizarre dolls. For love, the throws away her beauty. Which only leaves the boy beside her struck with awe at this new side of her.

"You can call me a princess all you like / 'Cause you like to keep me helpless by your side / But it ain't what I want, I'ma show you, I'ma show you / How to treat me like a queen /Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

/ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah / Boy, you better bow down on your knees / Can I get a "Yes, your majesty?"

7. You'll Be Safe Here (Rico Blanco)

— After Lizzy's unexpected revelation, the earl accepts her true self and begins to admire her more.

"Close your eyes, dry your tears / 'Cause when nothing seems clear / You'll be safe here from the sheer weight / Of your doubts and fears / Weary heart, you'll be safe here

... "And though the world would never understand / This unlikely union and why it still stands / Someday, we will be set free / Pray and believe"

8. So Close (Jon McLaughlin)

— The victory party after the second Sapphire Miracle has been memorable, not only for students, but also for the guests. Just for this one night, O!Ciel lets himself enjoy the night by dancing.. with her.

"A life goes by, romantic dreams must die / So I bid mine goodbye and never knew / So close was waiting, waiting here with you / And now forever I know / All that I want is to hold you so close

So close to reaching that famous happy ending / Almost believing this one's not pretend / Now you're beside me, and look how far we've come / So far we are so close"

9. You and I (Tatu)

— A song about the earl and the lady as a reflection of their circumstances, and their wish to protect. And wanting to believe.

"Just a side / To an anguished street, criticized/ For what we believe / If we hide, maybe we can make it through this / Is it fair, to be burned away? / Is it fair, that we live this way? /Victimized, for a life we didn't ask for

No truths to confirm / No lies to deny / Too hopeless to care /We're too scared to cry"

10. Smoke (PVRIS)

— Lizzy thinks she and her beloved have gotten closer, but have they? Somewhere in her mind, there is a small fuse waiting to be lit.

"You're just a ghost of blissful feelings / A cloud of smoke that I keep breathing / An illusion, I'm losing you to the games in my mind. / I see your face, an apparition / But now it's changed / Shape shifting / Don't wanna open my eyes."

11. Set Fire to the Rain (Adele)

— Just as Lizzy thought things will start changing for the better between them, small things that went unnoticeable at first are now telling her that something.. still feels not right.

"But there's a side to you / That I never knew, never knew /All the things you'd say / They were never true, never true / And the games you'd play / You would always win, always win"

12. Aoki Tsuki Michite (Book of Circus ED Theme, covered by AmaLee)

— A song where O!Ciel looks back on the choices he made, as he strengthens his resolve to go down the path he chose.

"Praise your palette of lies / For it's a masterpiece that you have created / All of your promises, bleeding in flawless harmony

Sing another spell, paint another dream / We could bring to life a new reality / All of my mistakes, gathering like storm clouds / Will soon rain down on me"

13. I Know You (Skylar Grey)

— Trying to ignore her doubts, Lizzy still continues to yearn to understand her fiancé who has changed and remained distant ever since that month. In her deepest wishes, she pleads to be allowed inside his heart.

"I believe, I believe there's love in you / Gridlocked on the dusty avenues / Inside your heart, just afraid to go / I am more, I am more than innocent / But just take a chance and let me in / And I'll show you ways that you don't know

Don't complicate it, don't let the past dictate, Yeah / I have been patient, but slowly I'm losing faith

So please, I know you, baby / I know you, baby / So please, I know you, baby / I know you, baby"

14. Demons (Imagine Dragons; covered by Sam Tsui & Kurt Hugo Schneider)

— Despite Lizzy's efforts, the earl remains distant. He has embraced the darkness and his impending end, and the only thing he believes he can do is to keep her at a distance, for more reasons than one.

"They say it's what you make, I say it's up to fate / It's woven in my soul / I need to let you go

Your eyes, they shine so bright / I wanna save that light / I can't escape this now / Unless you show me how"

15. Leave the Memories Alone (Fuel)

— A song from the earl's POV, as he reminisces the past and how he wishes to keep Lizzy in the light.

"I wanted you.. to stay by the windowsill with the blooming roses."

"So I find me in your garden now / A sad smile for the scene / And all the flowers that we planted now / Taken by the weeds / But in my minds eye, you know they still bloom for me / They stand tall there, in that summer breeze

Leave the memories alone, I don't want to see / The way it is, as to how it used to be / Leave the memories alone, don't change a thing / And I'll just hold you here in my memory"

16. What Was I Made For? (Billie Eilish)

— Lizzy reflects on her duties as the future wife of the Queen's Watchdog, and her sadness at not being able to help or understand the earl. The growing distance between them makes her feel desperate for answers.

"I used to float, now I just fall down / I used to know, but I'm not sure now / What I was made for / What was I made for? / Takin' a drive, I was an ideal / Looked so alive, turns out, I'm not real / Just something you paid for / What was I made for?

'Cause I, I / I don't know how to feel, but I wanna try / I don't know how to feel, but someday I might / Someday I might"

17. Empty (PVRIS)

— Desperate to find a way to understand O!Ciel, Lizzy starts going to the Sphere Music Hall. However, what she finds there changes her forever.

"You see I want the world to believe, that there's a light inside of me / But it's time that I'll come clean / I'm not what I seem, no / Some would say I'm possessed, yeah / But I'll confess, I've just been obsessed / With life and death and emptiness, I guess / Can't you see all of the change in me?"

18. My Immortal (Evanescence)

— Lizzy remembers all the sacrifices she made for Ciel. She gave her heart for her betrothed, but now that she realizes her love has been given to two different people, where does her love for one end, and where does it begin for the other? Who does she really love? Somehow, she already knows the answer, and it is causing her anguish over her supposed love. *This song could be interpreted to be directed to both the twins, as Lizzy thought all this time that she was loving one person only.

"You used to captivate me by your resonating light / Now I'm bound by the life you left behind / Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams / Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal / This pain is just too real / There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears / When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears / And I held your hand through all of these years / But you still have all of me"

19. Stay With Me (Danity Kane)

— Lizzy is in disbelief after discovering that the Ciel she has been with for the past three years was not her true betrothed. She tries so hard to hold on to the image of O!Ciel, the boy who accepted her, and the fiance she has come to love with all her heart. However, the ugly, undeniable truth is right in front of her.

"I've searched my heart over so many many times / No you and I, is like no stars to light the sky at night / Our picture hangs up to remind me of the days / You promised me we'd always be / And never go away / That's why I need you to stay

Stay with me, don't let me go / Cause I can't be without you /Just stay with me and hold me close / Because I've built my world around you / And I don't wanna know what it's like without you / So stay with me, just stay with me, stay.."

20. Because of You (Kelly Clarkson)

— Looking back to the times she tried to keep up her cheerful facade and balancing it with her strong side in front of the boy she loved— O!Ciel, Lizzy finally shatters under the grief and heartache of learning his lie.

"I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh/ Every day of my life/ My heart can't possibly break / When it wasn't even whole to start with.."

"...Because of you, I try my hardest just to forget everything / Because of you, I don't know how to let anyone else in / Because of you

I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty / Because of you / I am afraid"

21. Stand In The Rain (Superchick)

— She's mad, she's confused, she doesn't know what to do. She wants to return to the days where she doesn't know anything, and be by his side. But her duty is to remain here. Heartbroken, mad at herself and filled with guilt, she compensates by staying by R!Ciel's side.

"She won’t make a sound / Alone in this fight with herself / And the fears whispering if she stands she’ll fall down

She wants to be found / The only way out is through everything / She’s running from, wants to give up and lie down

So stand in the rain, stand your ground / Stand up when it’s all crashing down / You stand through the pain, you won’t drown / And one day what’s lost can be found / You stand in the rain"

22. Beautiful Girl (Broken Iris)

— O!Ciel's lies, mistakes and choices have finally come to haunt him. He realizes this as soon as his eyes met his twin brother's. And most of all, he finally discovers the reason why Lizzy left.

"Last embrace, forcing you away before it's too late / I end this day in a most bitter way / A regretful state but...

I'll never forget those eyes, that beautiful smile. I still remember the way you said "good-bye" / No matter how hard I try I can't forget about /

Beautiful Girl, on top of the world / Don't fall down, because an angel / Should never touch ground.."

23. Never Be The Same (Red)

— The sudden appearance of R!Ciel turns his world upside down. Remaining silent with a darkened expression on his face, a disheartened, regretful earl reminisces his memories with Lizzy

"I can see, I can still find /You're the only voice my heart can recognize /But I can't hear you now, yeah. /I'll never be the same / I'm caught inside the memories, the promises /Are yesterdays and I belong to you. / I just can't walk away, 'cause after loving you / I can never be the same."

24. Broken Inside (Broken Iris)

— Fighting despair, the earl descends further deep into the darkness. He is determined to take back everything, no matter what it takes.

"The thinning line between you and my sanity / Is quickly fading / Takes just a breeze to cause a storm /Takes just a breath to cause a scream / It takes me to cause a tragedy.."

"Until the end of me, I swear / You'll be the death of me / I dare you to cross the line again / Because deep down inside /There's something that waits to be / Broken Inside"

25. The Scientist (Coldplay)

— O!Ciel should have known that this is coming. He knew he lied, and was willing to take this to his grave. But he didn't expect to feel like this when it did happen. If only things have been different..

"Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions / Oh let's go back to the start / Running in circles; coming up tails / Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy / It's such a shame for us to part / Nobody said it was easy / No one ever said it would be this hard / Oh take me back to the start"

26. Descent Within (Broken Iris)

— Outro; the perfect ending for a story doomed to end in tragedy

#Spotify #kuroshitsuji #black butler #ciel phantomhive #elizabeth midford #cielizzy #cielizzie #cielizzy playlist #our!ciel #o!ciel #ciel x elizabeth #lizzy x ciel #kuroshitsuji playlist #ೀ ˚ mine #ೀ ˚ a love written in the stardust — cielizzy

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shurislover · 1 year ago

Text

A Look into Letitias Spam ll

- i really love making these lol

- enjoy and thank you so much for showing love on the first one. i really appreciate it

- part 1

tishspams

liked by therealyn and 389 others

tishspams on a date kinda nervous ( drinks kinda nasty )

therealyn you’re such a wimp , those drinks were so good

jojovandalkidd @/therealyn bracelets are fire ! link please

therealyn i made them boo, i’ll make you some and bring it to you when i see you

jojovandalkidd this why you’re my absolute favorite love you 4 life

tishspams

liked by dominiquethorne and 596 others

tishspams CAUGHT 🤪

dominiquethorne get a room 😒

kosarali__ that’s what i’m saying

therealyn dom baby if you wanna kiss just say that

dominiquethorne i’m ready when you are

jojovandalkidd pic snapped by me 😤

tishspams

liked by therealyn and 632 others

tishspams happy birthday to the love of my life, my princess , my baby , my future wife , my kids future mother , my overall everything. you guys truly don’t understand how much this woman means to me, she was one of the main people who pulled me out of this dark hole after losing my brother. she checked up on me constantly , she made sure i ate , made sure i took care of myself. she made me the woman i am today and i’m forever grateful. i love you so damn much , and i cant wait to celebrate tonight with you sexy ! the big 2 6 baby. cheers to more years ! tish and y/n forever and always , locked in 4L 🔒❤️

therealyn mi amor 🥺 love you forever and always , got me crying rn. you know i got you always.

jojovandalkidd can’t wait to celebrate with the kid . happy birthday y/n

dominiquethorne the big 26 !! cant wait to see y’all tonight

michaeldapaah lil one growing up

shionat my baby growing up 😭

1dessdior my girl y/nnnnnn you got yourself a special one , happy birthday boo

haydmclean celebrating big tonight

tishspams

liked by jojovandalkidd and 900 others

tishspams y/n on this, just know my baby cool where she’s at

haydmclean not people out here trying to break y’all up

therealyn they should know better, i don’t play bout mine 😤

jojovandalkidd let em know

therealyn you already know what’s the vibes

tishspams and therealyn

liked by dominiquethorne and 13,587 others

therealyn i’m about to get real sappy on this. it’s the big 30 for my big baby 🥺. y’all when i say this woman means everything to me i fucking mean it. she has stuck by my side through everything, supports me in every single way and i just love her for that. i honestly thank God for you everytime i wake up and everytime i go to sleep. I am so grateful for all the amazing times we spend together, the happiness you bring into my life. Keep doing big things my love, keeping inspiring not only me , not only yourself but all the black girls and boys out there. I love you forever and always mi amor. LETS LIVE IT UP IN GREECE BABYYYYYYYYYYYY

tishspams love you 5 ever baby

therealyn 😘😘

jojovandalkidd Greece ain’t ready for us

therealyn NOT at all

daishamonee DIRTY 30!

tishspams

liked by daishamonee and 456 others

tishspams why she caught me slipping in her bonnet 😒

dominiquethorne bonnet for ???

jojovandalkidd right ?

winstonduke them little 3 milimeters of hair don’t need a bonnet

therealyn not too much on my baby. she got inches don’t play 😒

tishspams

liked by therealyn and 874 others

tishspams she wanna be me so bad

therealyn AND DO !

daishamonee i mean who wouldn’t

jojovandalkidd exactly! bro acting like the whole internet isn’t in love with her , she got a fly ass gf and living her best life ? come on now !

kosarali__ let it be known

winstonduke how you let your gf outshine you in your own fit ??

therealyn you’re so real ! she’s never getting this suit back.

tishspams

liked by dominiquethorne and 690 others

tishspams she thought the view was pretty…. but i thought she was prettier 🤭

daishamonee did google help you with this caption ?

tishspams sure did

dominiquethorne y’all so damn cheesy

haydmclean when y’all getting married ?? i’m ready for wedding season ?

tishspams soon come !

tishspams

liked by haydmclean and 567 others

tishspams y/n on this ! bae sleep rn but look what i found lollll ( shes gonna jump me when she sees this )

winstonduke good luck to you when she wakes up

jojovandalkidd nah the auntie hairstyle is crazy

haydmclean this shit has me so weak i’m keeping this

dominiquethorne my new favorite picture

kosarali__ you’re definitely getting cussed out lol

therealyn y’all this picture has legit tears coming out my eyes

jojovandalkidd i’m gonna need you to text me in the morning to make sure you’re alive

haydmclean me too lmao good luck y/n

tishspams

liked by therealyn and 20,678 others

tishspams kept this a secret for a while , so i could bask up my excitement in private with my FIANCÉ 🤭 you guys SHE PROPOSED ! IM A WHOLE FIANCÉ ! A WIFE TO BE !

daishamonee WHAT ?

haydmclean shout out to @/therealyn for choosing me to help pick the ring. happy for you bro

dominiquethorne BIG CONGRATS !!

ayoedebiri WOAH ! happy for you letitia

ramlaali BRING ON THE WEDDING SEASON

officialsheiks been waiting for this moment

prada this a big one 🔥

s11mone so happy for you sis

littlesimz NO WAY !

shionat you deserve this so much

michaeldapaah BIG TINGZ

thewrightnikki I KNOW THATS RIGHT

————————-

was supposed to post this for her birthday

#letitia wright #letitia x reader #vees recs

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sophia-and-emmie · 5 months ago

Text

You Belong With Me [but Keefe is singing it]

Song by: Taylor Swift

Parody by: Sophia Z, Lauren R, Valentina A

You're on a call with your boyfriend, he's upset

He's going off about something that you said

'Cause he doesn't get your humor like I do

I'm in my room, it's a typical Tuesday night

I'm listening to the kind of music he doesn't like

And he'll never know your story like I do

Cause' he's a Vacker

I'm a Sencen

He's your Boyfriend, and I'm in the backround

Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find

That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one

Who understands you

Been here all along

So, why can't you see?

You belong with me

Walk in the streets with you and your plain tunic

I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be

Laughing on a park bench thinking to myself

Hey, isn't this easy?

And you've got a smile

That can light up this whole town

I haven't seen it in a while

Since he brought you down

You say you're fine, I know you better than that

Hey, what you doing with a boy like that?

Cause he's glamorous

With his teal eyes

And I'm just here with my messy hair, I'm

Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find

That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one

Who understands you

Been here all along

So, why can't you see?

You belong with me

Standing by and waiting in your bedroom

All this time how could you not know, baby?

You belong with me

Oh, I remember me coming to your house

In the middle of the night

I'm the one who makes you laugh

When you know you're 'bout to cry

And I know your favorite songs

And you tell me 'bout your dreams

Think I know where you belong

Think I know it's with me

Can't you see that I'm the one

Who understands you?

Been here all along

So, why can't you see?

You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your window

All this time how could you not know, baby?

You belong with me

Have you ever thought just maybe

You belong with me?

You belong with me

Me and my friends made this but our voices our trash can somebody pls sing thiss

#kotlc #kotlc fandom #keeper of the lost cities #sokeefe #keefe sencen #kotlc keefe #kotlc sophie #sophie foster #taylor swift #you belong with me #song parody

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steddieas-shegoes · 1 year ago

Text

this place is such great motivation for anyone trying to move the fuck away from hibernation

chapter 4: i stopped caring 'bout a month ago, since then it's been smooth sailing also on AO3 Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Rated E

🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰

Wayne Munson was looking at Steve Harrington as if he was worse than the dirt under his shoe.

And that’s how he felt.

He watched Eddie spend months after Steve left wondering what he did wrong, what drove him away, what made him decide that leaving was better than staying here or explaining his feelings.

Wayne didn’t believe in holding back when you cared about someone, especially not after everything Eddie had been through.

And he thought Steve felt the same.

He saw the way that boy watched Eddie, whispering to himself when he thought Wayne wasn’t in the room for Eddie to just wake up, saw how often he came by the trailer just to check on him when he was home.

In short, nothing he did made any damn sense.

And what didn’t make any damn sense at this very moment was the fact that Steve was standing on Wayne’s porch holding Eddie’s hand.

“Someone better start talkin’ before I lock the both of ya out of this trailer,” he said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Wayne-“

“I think you’ve earned the right to call me Mr. Munson, don’t you?”

Wayne watched as Steve gulped, Eddie squeezed his hand, and they both took a step closer together.

He sighed.

“This is a sit down talk, ain’t it?” he asked Eddie.

“Yeah, probably,” he responded.

“Fine. Get inside. Be quiet. Mia’s sleepin’ and she ain’t due to wake up for a bottle for another hour.”

He walked inside, didn’t bother holding the door for either of them.

He was mad at Steve, sure, had been for a year now.

But he felt a simmering anger for Eddie, the nephew he loved so much, and his too-forgiving soul.

The only reason he was entertaining this conversation at all was because Eddie was giving him his big puppy dog eye look, the same one he used to get away with things as a kid and teenager, the same one Mia used to get extra snuggles before bed.

He sat in his chair, watched the way Steve and Eddie sat on the couch as close as they could get without being in each other’s laps.

“So you wanna explain why you’re here or should I assume it’s to hurt my boy again?” Wayne didn’t pull his punches, never had, never would, not when it came to protecting his family.

“Wayne-“

“Ed, I’m not askin’ you. I’m askin’ him. And then I’m gonna ask you so get your answers straight,” Wayne raised his brows at him before turning his eyes back to Steve, who looked even more tense. Good. “I’m gonna assume you came back to visit and didn’t think you’d run into Eddie, but you did. I’m also gonna assume you didn’t know about Mia. I’m gonna tell ya right now, I’m more protective of her than I am of Ed and you remember how protective I am of him.”

Steve nodded.

“Well? You gonna explain or am I just gonna send you on your way?”

“I guess you’re right, mostly. I didn’t plan on running into Eddie at first, and no one told me about Mia before. But I did and I met Mia, and I was hit with this feeling that I’d missed even more than I thought, and I was reminded that I left more than just friends. I left a future. I tried to find one, but the one I could’ve had never even got a chance. I-“ Steve cut himself off, looked at Eddie to gain some courage. “I shouldn’t have left the way I did and I won’t ever forgive myself for it or expect anyone else to. I was scared of a lot of things, my feelings for Eddie one of them, and I thought running would get rid of the fear. It didn’t. I kinda learned to live with it, though, at least until I came back and ran into Eddie. I saw what he had here with Mia, with you, with the kids, and I realized that the life I’ve been living is…I dunno, wasting away? I guess I just stopped caring about anything because it was easier than feeling the pain of leaving.”

Wayne could see they’d both been crying. Steve was crying again now, and Eddie looked like he wasn’t far behind.

It was easy to see that his pain was genuine, his incoming apology was genuine.

But that didn’t change things for Wayne, not without showing that he was going to actually do something to make it right for Eddie, for the kids who were just as hurt when he left.

“I’m sorry. For leaving, for hurting Eddie, and the kids, and anyone else, especially you. None of you deserved that, none of you should have had to wonder what happened or worried that you did something to upset me to make me leave. I’m sorry that you had to clean up the messes I left behind. I’m sorry that I may never be able to make it right.”

He could feel Eddie’s eyes on him, silently begging him to accept the apology for what it was.

“I’m gonna do everything I can, though. For Eddie, and you, and Mia. You all deserve more than I can give, but if you let me, I wanna try to give all I have,” he begged.

That’s what he was doing: begging.

Wayne could see how much Steve was relying on Wayne’s acceptance. Not forgiveness, maybe, but he needed Wayne to accept that he was here and recognizing his own failures.

“You know how much you hurt him?” Wayne said softer than he’d been speaking until now. “You know how many nights I was scared to go to work because he hadn’t slept in two or three days because he was crying and worried about you? How many mornings I came home and tried to make him breakfast and he wouldn’t eat because he was too worried? And how badly he needed you when Mia got here? How many times I walked in to hear him trying to muffle his cryin’ in his pillow while she slept, asking for you?”

Eddie didn’t know he’d heard that, he’d never mentioned it, but now was as good a time as any to let it out.

“You know how much I worried about him tryin’ to hold it all together for Mia? You don’t. You couldn’t. He wouldn’t tell you how bad it was, and no one else knows how bad it was. But I was here, I saw it all, I see how he still sometimes zones out while she’s taking a bottle, starin’ at your photo by his bed. How much he still misses you, loves you. And to me, you don’t deserve it-“

“Wayne-“

“Ed, not yet,” Wayne held his hand up. “You were selfish, exactly what I expected of a Harrington, and you just show up now thinkin’ I can allow it without bein’ on edge. I hear your apology, I think you’re genuinely sorry, but that don’t mean shit to me until you prove how sorry you are.”

“Can I talk now?” Eddie asked.

Wayne looked him over, sighing as he saw his clenched jaw, his rigid back. He nodded for Eddie to talk.

“I appreciate you sticking up for me, and you’re right. He shouldn’t just be forgiven because of an apology, not with the way he hurt me and not with how much I would have to lose if he were to leave me again. I know that. But I know Steve isn’t gonna do that again. He’s not,” Eddie insisted.

“And how do ya know that?”

“Because last time we didn’t say how we felt. This time we did. We both put it all out there. He knows what it would look like to leave now,” Eddie glanced behind him towards his bedroom. “He knows what he’d be leaving and he won’t do that. Not to me or Mia, and not to you.”

"So, what? You’re movin’ back to Hawkins?” Wayne directed his question to Steve, but his eyes still glanced back at Eddie as Steve tried to form a response.

He looked hesitant, and that was more reason for Wayne to be concerned.

If Eddie had even a hint of a doubt, Wayne wouldn’t listen to any explanations. Not a single one.

“I’m…not moving back here, no.”

That’s what he thought.

“So you’re leavin’? Again?” Wayne must be missing something.

Eddie wouldn’t allow this, and Wayne certainly wouldn’t.

“I’m leaving, but Eddie’s gonna come with me. Or he will soon, at least. When he’s ready and when Mia’s ready.”

Wayne sat back in his chair.

He turned all of his attention to Eddie, who looked suddenly like he wanted to be anywhere but here.

“Oh, is that what’s happening? Not to be a negative Nancy, but how you plan on doin’ that when you can’t even get a place here, Ed? You know the city is more expensive, that’s why you ain’t gone yet.”

He hated being the bad guy, hated doing this to Eddie when he knew he knew.

But sometimes love makes you do stupid things. Sometimes you need someone with logic to step in and think for you.

And sometimes, Wayne took his protective streak just a bit too far.

Like he did now.

“I’m well aware I can’t afford shit, Wayne, thank you. I know it’s expensive, I know it’s a risk, and I know that it won’t be easy. But I also know that I can’t stay trapped here, I can’t keep Mia trapped here, and I can’t live with myself if I never fucking try!”

Mia started crying in their room and Eddie instantly let go of Steve’s hand and stood up, already looking like he wanted to cry out of frustration.

“Eds-“

Wayne watched as Steve stood with him, reaching out a hand to stop him.

“It’s fine. I’ll be back,” Eddie brushed him away, turning and walking towards his room to take care of Mia.

Steve watched him go, and Wayne watched Steve.

Steve’s face fell, eyes closing to ward off tears that started to fall anyway.

He sat back down on the couch, his face turned to the floor.

“I know you’re angry with me, but can you please not take it out on him?” Steve whispered, his voice shaking.

Wayne would give Steve one thing: he was brave. He never stood down when it came to protecting the people he cared about, even if it meant causing more trouble for himself.

He respected it, even with his negative feelings toward Steve, he knew what Steve was risking by saying something like that to Wayne, and he knew he was doing it because of how much he cared for Eddie.

“I’m not tryin’ to take it out on him. I’m tryin’ to get you both to see some sense.” Wayne leaned forward in his chair, face softening as he took in the way Steve tensed. “You’ve started a new life just as much as Ed has. You’ve got your job, your friends, your future. Adding Ed and Mia to the mix ain’t gonna be easy. You both have to think about Mia more than yourselves.”

“We know it won’t be easy. I know. I don’t expect him to make a decision that could be bad for Mia. I don’t want either of them to get hurt any more than you do,” Steve argued.

“But you’ve already hurt him. I can’t let that happen again, Steve.”

Eddie walked into the kitchen holding Mia, trying to keep her looking away from Steve and Wayne, but failing.

“Mamamamamama!” Mia started yelling.

Wayne’s brows drew up, eyes widening comically.

Steve smiled at her, giving a small wave.

“Mama!” she started smacking Eddie’s face and kicking her legs like she was trying to fly to Steve. “Mama! Uh!”

Wayne watched as Steve gave in, making his way over to where Eddie looked like he was going to collapse on the floor, exhaustion and emotions clearly all catching up to him at once.

“Hi princess,” Steve said softly, holding his hand out to get her to stop hitting Eddie’s face excitedly. “Are you having good dreams?”

Steve took her from Eddie’s arms, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before waving to him to go away.

Wayne watched.

He took in the way Eddie’s entire body relaxed, how he looked at Mia in Steve’s arms with such adoration, so much love for her.

He never doubted Eddie’s devotion to Mia, to making sure she got everything she needed and felt loved.

And watching this scene now, watching Steve make her giggle in his arms while Eddie slumped against the counter for a moment, seeing how easy it was for them to fit like this, Wayne had to admit to himself that he was being unfair.

Maybe not completely — he still felt like his worry about their future was understandable — but he could see how jumping to the worst possible outcome wasn’t necessary.

“I got it,” Steve said quietly to Eddie as Mia babbled away in his arms.

“I can-“ Eddie started.

“I got it. Go talk to him,” Steve insisted, grabbing the bottle of formula from the counter to start filling the bottle Eddie already had sitting out.

Eddie turned to Wayne.

Wayne tilted his head towards the front door, silently suggesting they go out on the porch to talk.

Eddie nodded once before pecking a kiss on top of Mia’s head and one to Steve’s temple.

* - * - * - * - * -

Eddie and Wayne had always found solace in sitting on their front porch.

When things were hard, they came out here to make them easier.

Eddie took his spot on the top step while Wayne took his spot on the rocking chair.

They didn’t look at each other, didn’t have to when they were out here.

“I think I need you to explain to me what you and Steve had before he left,” Wayne said.

Eddie looked over at him briefly, nodding as he looked back at the front yard, the pitch black of the trailer park surrounding them.

“I don’t really know if I could explain it. It was technically nothing, I mean nothing more than friends. But we both knew it was more, or would be more. I loved him a lot, Wayne,” Eddie sighed. “And I think maybe I should have told him sooner. I think he would have stayed if I’d told him.”

“Why didn’t he tell you?” Wayne asked.

“He’s got…a rough history with telling someone how he feels. I knew I would have to be the one to make that move and I didn’t so that’s on me,” Eddie sighed. “But I’m not letting him just get away with what he did. I need you to understand that. My forgiveness for him is conditional and he knows that. He’s got work to do to make it right. But he’s trying already, and I need you to understand that he deserves the chance to keep trying.”

Wayne was watching him, letting his words sink in for a minute before responding.

“I love ya, kid. I just worry about the way you love people sometimes. Sometimes they don’t really deserve what you give them, and I can’t watch ya go through that kinda hurt again.” Wayne moved to sit down next to him on the step, grunting as his knees creaked and popped. “You really think he’s the one? For you and Mia?”

“I think that there’s a reason he came to the shop on the one day I have to handle the front, and there’s a reason that Mia already is obsessed with him, and I think the reason is that he’s supposed to be mine. I think he’s supposed to be ours.” Eddie bit his lip, wringing his hands together. “I know I’ve done a good hiding it over the last couple of months, but the hurt I felt when he first left never went away. I was still hurting just as much, it just got easier to show everyone that I wasn’t. Having him back, even if it’s only been for a minute, has changed everything for me.”

Wayne nodded, encouraging him to keep talking.

“I hope you get the chance to see the Steve that I’ve been able to see. I hope you can understand that he made a mistake and he’s owning up to it and making it right. I hope you can see that he’s good for me, and he’s good for Mia, and he’s good for our future. He’s good, Wayne. He’s the reason I’m even here to convince you to like him.”

“He’s also the reason you cried yourself to sleep for months,” Wayne said before letting out a long sigh. “But I hear ya. I can’t promise I can forgive him completely right now, but I can give him a shot. I can try. But I need ya to promise me something.”

“Anything,” Eddie nodded, hesitant smile on his face.

“I need ya to promise me that you’ll visit as often as ya can.”

Eddie let out a small sob, nodding as he fell into Wayne’s side.

“As much as we can, we’ll be here. Promise,” he said between breaths, his tears soaking through Wayne’s shirt.

“You better. And if anything happens, I want ya to come right home. No told ya so’s here, as long as you’re both okay,” Wayne said as he wrapped his arms around him.

“Okay.” Eddie sniffled, but didn’t move away from Wayne. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah. I guess I should be a little nicer if he’s gonna take on the task of making sure you remember to eat breakfast and fill your tank with gas,” Wayne teased.

Eddie pulled away with a shocked face.

“I can do that stuff by myself!”

“Uh huh. Sure ya do.”

Wayne hugged him again before standing up, groaning at the way his knees popped again.

“You invite him over for dinner tomorrow so I can get to know him better. No arguin’.”

“Will you be nice?” Eddie raised a brow at him.

“I’ll do my best. For you and Mia.”

Eddie nodded, smiling up at him. “Then I’ll tell him to come over after my shift.”

Wayne gave him a pat on the shoulder before walking back inside, hopefully to be nice to Steve or leave him alone entirely.

Eddie let out a long sigh.

“Jeez. That bad?” Steve joked from behind him.

Eddie turned quickly to see him standing there holding a sleeping Mia, blanket covering everything except her face.

“No, actually. Better than expected. She drink a whole bottle before passing out again?” Eddie went to stand up and take her from Steve, but Steve held out his hand to get him to stay put.

Steve sat down next to him slowly, making sure not to jostle Mia too much where she was drooling against his shoulder.

“She had about half.” Steve rubbed her back slowly, leaning his head onto Eddie’s shoulder.

Eddie wrapped his arm around Steve’s waist, tugging him into his side as gently as possible.

“She’s pretty attached to you,” Eddie whispered against his temple, letting his lips rest there while Steve relaxed against him.

“I’m pretty attached to her. And you. You’re pretty great,” Steve tilted his head up and beamed at him.

And it hit Eddie then. Maybe it should have hit a lot sooner, or maybe later.

He spent a lot of the last six months worried that it would always just be him and Mia.

Sure, he had Wayne, and the kids, and maybe even Robin if she decided to visit, but they weren’t Steve.

No matter what else he had, he never thought he’d have Steve.

Now he did, now he would.

He couldn’t help letting out a laugh, louder than he meant to, and immediately getting a glare from Steve when Mia let out a small whine.

He shushed her, patting her back and bouncing just slightly to try to keep her asleep.

Eddie watched with a fond smile.

Everything he wanted was here, everything.

He leaned down to kiss the top of Mia’s head.

“Sorry, I just realized that this is maybe the happiest I’ve been since you left. Maybe even before that,” Eddie whispered before leaning in to kiss Steve’s forehead.

“I’m gonna keep making you happy then,” Steve whispered back.

——————————

Steve spent the night, insisting on being the one to get up with Mia when she inevitably needed the other half of her bottle.

“You have work tomorrow, I’m just meeting up with the kids for a bit. I can take a nap,” he said with his hands on his hips, leaving no room for an argument.

Eddie fell asleep holding Steve against his chest, tracing patterns and words against his bare back.

When his alarm clock went off the next morning, Steve was already awake, sitting up in bed with Mia on his lap.

“Hey,” Eddie smiled at them, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

“Look who’s awake, princess!” Steve exclaimed, smiling at Mia then at Eddie.

“Mama!” Mia yelled.

“Nope, dada. Mama’s been awake. You remember, you were there. An hour ago when you decided that screaming was the best way to wake me up,” Steve said, never losing the smile on his face.

“Sorry, I usually wake up as soon as she starts crying,” Eddie apologized, sitting up so he could take her in his arms.

Steve handed her over, but cuddled into Eddie’s side instead of laying down or getting up.

“’S okay. We had a nice long talk about letting dada have his sleep, didn’t we?” Steve was poking Mia’s tummy, smiling as she giggled.

“Oh, you did?” Eddie booped Mia’s nose, smiling at her as she giggled. “And she signed the contract that says I get to sleep in until at least seven in the morning on weekends?”

Steve sighed.

“Unfortunately, my client refused that part of the contract. But she did agree to go to bed earlier tonight so we can spend time with Wayne.”

Eddie kissed the top of her head as she smacked his face and babbled random noises.

He kissed the top of Steve’s head after, smiling when Mia copied him, at least to the best of her abilities. Mostly, she left a trail of drool in Steve’s hair.

Eddie started to apologize, but Steve waved him off.

“I don’t mind, baby.”

Their morning flowed seamlessly; As Eddie got ready for work, Steve got Mia’s breakfast ready, following Eddie’s very detailed instructions perfectly.

Wayne was out fishing, had apparently already arranged with Steve that he’d be home by ten to take over watching Mia.

Steve even handed Eddie a plate of peanut butter toast with a raised eyebrow.

“Heard you forget to eat breakfast before your shifts.” Steve ran his hands through Eddie’s hair. “Not happening while I’m here. Eat.”

“Sir, yes, sir,” Eddie joked, ignoring the way Steve’s ears went red as he took a bite of the toast.

Mia babbled to herself and to them as she munched on her Cheerios and bananas, taking sips of her bottle every minute or so.

“Before you head out, is it alright if I use your phone? Just for a couple minutes.” Steve was wringing his hands together, a nervous habit Eddie had never noticed before. “I, uh. I’ve been doing daily morning check-ins with Robin. She was worried about me coming back here alone, so this is how I got her to agree.”

As much as Eddie wanted to dig deeper into that, ask a million questions about why she was so worried and why she was requiring check-ins, he knew neither of them had time for that.

“’Course you can, sweetheart. Tell her I said hi,” Eddie gave him a comforting smile.

He tried not to listen in, but the trailer was small and sound carried far, especially when Steve didn’t close his bedroom door.

But even Mia went quiet when she realized Steve had left the room, content to finish the last few bites of her breakfast in silence.

“Robs, it’s fine, I-“ A full minute of silence. “No, we talked and-“ He glanced over at Mia, who was looking towards the bedroom with her head tilted to the side like she was trying to listen too. He’d laugh if he wasn’t worried about making noise. “Robin. I’m fine. He’s fine. We’re fine. I’ll talk to you more about it tomorrow, okay?”

“Mama?” Mia asked, surprisingly quiet, like she knew she should be.

“He’ll be right back, princess.”

Eddie stood up to take care of his plate and start cleaning Mia’s hands and face from the mess she’d made.

Steve was by his side only a moment later, kissing his cheek and whispering a quick ‘thank you’ before he pulled Mia out of her high chair.

“Look at you! You did so good, princess. Barely even a mess on the bib,” Steve blew raspberries against her neck, making her laugh and flail her arms and legs.

“God, I love you,” Eddie said, unable to hold back for another second.

Steve looked over at him, eyes wide, awestruck.

“Yeah?”

As if Eddie hadn’t already professed it the night before, looked at him like he lit up the night sky ever since. As if Eddie hadn’t agreed to upend his entire life, go outside his comfort zone, take the biggest risk of his life for him.

“Yeah. More every minute, seems like.”

Steve tucked Mia against his hip, leaning over to kiss Eddie’s lips.

“I love you, too,” he breathed out, only pulling away when Mia started smacking at his cheek.

“Mama! Mama! Uh! Mama!”

“You are up, silly,” Steve said to her with a smile.

“Uh! Ooo? Ooo.”

Steve’s brows furrowed before his eyes widened and he looked at Eddie.

“Eddie. Oh my God.”

Eddie just stared back at him, waiting to understand what the sudden panic in Steve’s eyes was about.

“She’s trying to say ‘I love you’, listen,” Steve turned back to Mia and poked her belly. “Were you tellin’ Dada you love him?”

“Mama! Uh oooo!”

It seemed like a reach, but it was pretty damn close for what Mia was actually able to say.

“Sounds like she’s telling Mama she loves him,” Eddie nudged Steve’s arm.

He would probably be upset that Steve was getting all this attention if it wasn’t as adorable as it was, or if Steve didn’t have the reaction he did to most of it.

“I think she just doesn’t know how to say Dada yet,” Steve replied, but his eyes were filling with tears and Eddie knew he would start crying any moment.

“Maybe. Or maybe she loves us both.”

Steve kissed the top of her head and turned back to the clock on the wall.

“You’re gonna be late if you don’t go!” he exclaimed, pushing Eddie out of the kitchen.

“Okay, but-“

“No, go!”

“Kiss!” Eddie demanded, barely holding back an actual pout.

Steve kissed him again, a quick peck on the lips so he would hurry out the door.

“Bye! Love you both!”

“Love you!”

Those words would be all Eddie needed to get through his day.

———————————

Mondays were Adam’s days to bring lunch for them.

He’s a naturally good cook, always makes them some kind of casserole that’s way better than it should be.

Today was no different.

He’d been busy today, catching up on some paperwork from last week while the guys worked in the shop. Mondays were like that: high stress, very little downtime, and loud music.

It’s why he was grateful Wayne never worked Mondays.

Bringing Mia to the shop on one of their busiest days of the week would be difficult, even with help.

Because of this, the day flew by.

Adam brought him a plate of food for lunch, but he worked while he ate, unable to completely avoid a couple of customer phone calls and placing an order for parts.

After lunch, he was able to work in the shop with the guys, which he much preferred to having to sit at a desk.

Customers kept coming until nearly closing time, and Eddie had to turn the last two away because he would already be here late, and he couldn’t be. Not tonight.

Tonight was dinner with Steve and Wayne and it was too important to get stuck at work.

If he asked one of the other guys to stay, they would, but he couldn’t do that to any of them, not when he was supposed to show that he was a leader.

Imagine: Eddie being responsible. High school super senior Eddie wouldn’t even believe the maturity.

“You sure you don’t need us to stay, Ed?” Michael asked.

He worked part time during the week, fixed up old cars as his main job, but was always quick to offer to stay on their busy days.

“All good guys! Won’t be much longer, anyway,” he replied with his head in the hood of the Ford Escort that had been here for most of the day.

Everyone said goodbye as they trailed out of the shop door.

Eddie was distracted, trying to loosen a bolt that seemed like it was superglued to the engine, which was why hearing Steve’s voice right behind him made him jump so high he bumped his head on the hood.

“Fuck!”

“Sorry! I’m sorry! Are you okay?” Steve’s hands hovered over Eddie’s shoulders and arms, trying to figure out the best way to comfort him.

Eddie let out a laugh as he rubbed his head, turning completely so he could smile at Steve.

“I’m okay. What’re you doin’ here?” Eddie thought he was meeting him at the trailer in an hour, but maybe he’d been mistaken.

“I, um.” Steve ran his hand through his hair nervously. “I kinda missed you. And I drove by and saw everyone leaving except for you, so I thought I’d check on you.”

Eddie’s heart flipped over in his chest.

“You worried about me, Stevie?” Eddie teased, trying to cover the shake in his voice at the thought of Steve being concerned enough to go out of his way to check in.

“Always a little worried about you. Never know what you’re getting up to,” Steve teased back, finally settling his hands on Eddie’s arms.

“I’m okay. Just wanted to try to finish this one up before I go. It’s been a problem all day,” Eddie gestured to the car in front of him.

Steve leaned over the engine, nodding to himself and making little “hm” noises as if he was thinking about what the problem could be. Eddie watched him fondly, smirking as Steve stood back and put his hands on his hips.

“I think I know what the problem is.”

“Oh? Do tell.”

Steve faced him and smiled.

“You’re not fucking me in the backseat of it.”

Eddie’s jaw dropped.

“What.”

Steve leaned in, his breath ghosting over Eddie’s lips as his surprisingly heated gaze met Eddie’s.

“I may have spent the last hour working myself up a little too much. Don’t think I can make it through dinner without you taking care of me first, baby,” Steve whispered against his lips.

“In…this car? This one?” Eddie looked at the two door car, calculating how the hell they were both supposed to fit in the backseat in any position other than vertical.

“Mhm. This one. Unless you’ve got another one somewhere?” Steve looked around the otherwise empty shop. “I guess we could always go to my car or your van, but-“

“Nope, this one works. I’ll make it work,” Eddie interrupted, wiping his grease-stained hands on the towel he kept in his back pocket.

Steve didn’t seem to care that he was messy, or that they were technically in public, even if the shop was empty and would stay that way.

His lips were on Eddie’s, hungry, teeth biting into his bottom lip in a damn near frenzy to be as close as possible.

Eddie groaned into his mouth, his hands gripping Steve’s hips hard, pushing him towards the passenger seat of the car.

They didn’t separate while Eddie opened the car door, barely even separated when Eddie sat down in the seat, pulling Steve onto his lap.

“Said you got yourself all worked up for me?” Eddie asked as he unbuttoned Steve’s pants.

“Mhm,” Steve whined as Eddie’s hand brushed against his cock, his breath hot on his neck. “Wanted to be ready.”

Eddie froze.

“Ready? Steve, did you-“ Eddie pulled back and looked up at a smirking Steve. “Jesus Christ, where did you come from, sweetheart?”

“Please fuck me,” Steve replied, not answering the question at all, but Eddie couldn’t find it in himself to care.

He was too gone on the pleading look in Steve’s eyes, his hips rocking back and forth to find friction that Eddie wasn’t giving him yet.

“Gotta get your pants down,” Eddie tugged on his waistband to emphasize his point.

Steve managed to get up enough to pull his pants down to his ankles, though it was a slower process than it would have been in bed, or really anywhere that wasn’t a customer’s car.

God, he was fucking Steve for the first time in a customer’s car. This was one for the books.

“Shit, um, condom? I don’t exactly keep them on me,” Eddie said, coming back down to earth long enough to have some sense.

Steve shook his head.

“I’m good if you are. I mean, I haven’t — I haven’t slept with anyone since, well, shortly after graduation. Wow.” Steve huffed. “I should’ve thought to bring one.”

Eddie wasn’t letting this opportunity pass, not when he knew for a fact he was good to go without.

Instead of giving him an answer, Eddie finished unzipping his coveralls and tugged the waistband of his boxers down.

“Up for a second, love,” Eddie’s tone was demanding, but gentle, a moment of softness interrupting their previous rush.

Eddie sucked on his own fingers for a moment, making sure they were wet enough to ease the way. Even with Steve prepping himself beforehand, he didn’t want to cause any type of pain, not for their first time.

He reached down between them, smiling to himself when he felt how prepared Steve already was.

“You were just driving by? Or you were driving here?”

“Well, I-“

“Seems like you came straight here the moment you had three fingers in your ass, sweet thing,” Eddie slowly pushed two fingers into Steve, smirking as he met no resistance. “So hungry for it you couldn’t even wait until later?”

Steve whimpered, nodding quickly before throwing his head back as Eddie added a third finger.

“Please, I’m ready, I promise,” Steve begged.

He was, Eddie could tell. But the teasing was too fun.

“No, I don’t wanna hurt you, sweetheart. Probably should take my time in case you didn’t stretch yourself enough,” Eddie muttered against his neck, lightly nipping the skin.

“I’m good. I’m good, really.”

Eddie felt his legs quivering around him, holding himself up while Eddie’s fingers were stretching and searching inside him clearly a difficult task.

He withdrew his fingers quickly, ignoring the whine Steve let out at the loss, and grabbed the base of his cock.

“C’mere then,” Eddie growled out.

Steve fell forward, giving Eddie the perfect position to slide inside.

Steve’s moan as he filled him was like music to his ears, loud enough to echo in the whole shop.

Eddie held him still for a moment, let them both get used the feeling. As prepped as Steve was, as loose as he’d felt around his fingers, he still tight around his cock.

“Fuck, feel so good, Stevie,” Eddie sighed out, letting his forehead rest against Steve’s chest.

Steve’s hands curled into his hair, his lips brushed against the top of his head.

“Feels better than I imagined,” Steve breathed against him.

The moment was surprisingly soft for how desperate they’d both been only a moment ago. He let himself be held, let himself hold Steve, both of them holding this intensity between them.

Eddie kissed Steve’s chest, wishing he was completely naked, wishing he could spend all night worshiping every inch of Steve’s skin.

But he’d take this for now.

He rocked his hips up, tugging Steve down at the same time.

“Holy shit, Eds,” Steve whimpered. “You’re so deep.”

Steve’s words were almost slurred and Eddie had to pull away to look up at him properly.

His face was flush, hair already a mess.

Eddie had never loved him more.

“You gonna ride me or did you do all this work for nothing?”

Steve’s eyes hardened, the mischievous gleam making Eddie smirk back at him.

“I already did all the work, baby. Thought you’d take care of me.”

Oh, Eddie was gonna have too much fun with him.

He dug his fingertips into Steve’s waist and lifted him up, only to drop him back down on his cock.

The car was already rocking with their movements, and they’d barely even gotten started. Eddie didn’t care. He barely even noticed it once Steve gripped his shoulders and actually started riding him.

“That’s it, sweet boy. Take what you worked so hard for,” Eddie groaned.

Steve didn’t answer, just let out small whimpers and pants as he used Eddie’s shoulders as leverage to lift himself up and fall back down on Eddie’s length.

They didn’t have space to do everything Eddie wanted, but he reached over to put the seat back a few inches so he could work with a new angle.

The moment Steve moved in his lap, he tensed, his lips parting into an ‘o’ shape.

“Right there, sweetheart?” Eddie asked innocently.

Steve nodded, suddenly rendered silent by Eddie’s cock rubbing constantly against his prostate.

Eddie knew they didn’t have time to drag this out; Wayne was expecting both of them for dinner soon, and this car wouldn’t fix itself.

But someday soon he would spend hours like this in Steve’s car, maybe make Steve work for it all himself first, get him screaming his name before taking over, making him lay down face first in his backseat.

Or maybe he would lay out a blanket and pillow in the back of his van, play some music, open him up with his tongue and stay there for hours, tasting every part of Steve.

Maybe he’d find somewhere in the woods, park under the night sky, and fuck Steve on the hood of his car under the stars.

At some point, Eddie must have started daydreaming out loud because Steve was mumbling ‘yes, yes, please’ and ‘want that, too’ and Eddie was a goner.

His hips sped up, the head of his cock brushing against Steve’s spot with every thrust.

“Fuck, Eds, touch me, touch me, please.”

As much as Eddie could and would listen to Steve beg all night, he knew he was too close to the edge himself to make that happen.

He wrapped his hand around Steve’s leaking cock, pumped once, twice, and Steve was done for.

He clenched around Eddie so tight he could barely move, and that mixed with the sight of Steve coming apart above him was enough for Eddie to fill Steve with his own release.

Steve collapsed against his chest, breath labored and heart racing.

Eddie’s arms wrapped around him, a small laugh leaving him as he closed his eyes.

“What’s the laugh for?” Steve asked against his shoulder.

“Just can’t believe we fucked in a customer’s car. I’ll have to leave the windows open all night to air it out,” Eddie laughed again.

Steve sat up, smirking down at Eddie.

“Maybe we knocked something right and it works now,” Steve joked.

Eddie cupped Steve’s face in his hands and pulled him down to kiss him, his tongue tracing along his bottom lip.

When he pulled away, he smiled.

“Can’t believe you really showed up at my job just to fuck me,” Eddie shook his head. “I’m supposed to be a model employee.”

Steve rolled his eyes.

“Unless there’s a camera somewhere around, no one will ever know.”

“Oh, I didn’t mention? They have a security camera set up across the shop. Just filmed your first porn, Stevie.”

Steve slapped his chest, laughing.

“I gotta get up without making a mess,” he sighed.

“Didn’t think that part through, did you?”

“I’m not sure I thought any part through other than showing up,” Steve admitted, but he didn’t sound upset about it.

“And I am so happy you didn’t.”

He meant it, but a small part of him was maybe regretting their choices when cum started to drip out of Steve’s hole as he stood up to get out of the car, right onto the carpeted floorboard.

“Never getting that out,” Eddie shook his head. “Get dressed before we stain the seat.”

“You gotta finish up here before you go?” Steve asked as Eddie did what he could to wipe the cum from the floor.

“Just gonna try to start it again. If it doesn’t, I’ll just come in early to work on it.”

Steve watched as Eddie grabbed the keys from the workbench by the car and got in the driver’s seat.

He cranked the key.

The engine turned.

The car started.

“Unbelievable. We actually did fuck something into the right spot,” Eddie laughed in disbelief.

“Seriously?” Steve snorted. “I guess you should hire me then.”

“Be careful what you ask for, sweetheart. Could use someone to sit naked on the hood while I work,” Eddie winked as he shut off the car and got out. “Ready to go?”

Steve’s face fell.

“What is it?” Eddie asked.

“Just nervous. Wayne doesn’t like me,” Steve shrugged, trying to play it off like he wasn’t bothered when it was so clear that he was.

“He doesn’t like what you did. There’s a difference. He’s giving you a chance and you have to give him one, too, okay?”

Steve nodded.

“Okay!” Eddie clapped his hands together. “Ready to go home?”

“Yeah,” Steve smiled at the ground. “So ready.”

TAG LIST: @goodolefashionedloverboi @disrespectedgoatman @carlajim98 @loop-deloo

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #ao3 #chapter 4 #mechanic eddie munson #single dad eddie munson #wayne munson

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kolour-me-kourt · 4 months ago

Text

Chapter Sixteen: Rediscover

" ..... The song does come from an extremely real place I made a selfish decision and I'm not sure the innocent party affected knows anything about it but I am sorry"

"Do you want to go into anymore detail?"

"I don't want to but I will... I had dealings with an ex recently and he's in a relationship she seems like a really sweet girl but I was being selfish him and I had several reasons why we broke up but infidelity was one so the fact that I did that to someone else was fucked up and um I wrote a song about it"

"Wow that's a super real place well the song is beautiful and you can hear the emotion in it"

"Thanks I don't wanna expose him or anything cause I truly do think he's a great guy but he has some issues"

What's worse then getting cheated on? Everyone knowing you got cheated on and you stayed. YN was grateful in this moment that he told her the truth because she couldn't have imagined finding out this way. All the time and forgiveness put in seem to almost dwindle away when YN heard Ella speaking in a radio interview. The only person she had really been tied to publicly was Jayson so everyone who knew YN sent her the clip that was circulating around.

She cried and tried to get herself together because she had a flight to catch. Straight to Boston to watch Jayson play tomorrow. She would be court side beside his mother, her boyfriend,father and his girlfriend . She was excited but nervous all at the same time so this little interview only added to her nerves. As soon as she zips her suitcase he calls."Yes sirrr?" "You on your way to the airport yet?" "Just finished packing but in a bout ten minutes I'll be leaving" "okay I sent a private .... So you can rest I know you're tired and I'm getting you myself" She finally puts her face in the camera"yayy I'm excited" she smiled "you sure?" She laughed slightly "yeah ... I just keep seeing that clip and it messed my mood up a little" "what clip?" She bit her lip so he asked again

"what clip?" "Um Ella dropped a new song .... And it's about you guys and she's on her press tour" "she said my name?" "No but knowing what I know it's easy to put two and two together plus the blogs are kinda already doing it so." "Doing what?" "Saying the song is about you" "fuck!" His voice was deep and filled with anger "it's fine" "it's not why would she do that?" "She's an artist she's coping" "so you taking up for her?" YN lifted an eyebrow

"yeah I guess I am but it's really no reason to be upset because I'm not mad we've moved on" "yeah you're not mad but I can tell you been crying" "yeah" "just hurry and get to me we got plans and I don't want any of that to ruin them" she smiled "okay baby I love you" "I love you too" "byeeeee" "bye" she hangs up exhaling "well look at that growth" she smiled proud of herself.

*A few hours later*

She was getting off the plane and there was Jayson flowers in hand ready to see her. She walked over quickly kissing him

" mmm hey baby" "hey papa" he smiled on her lips "save that for later we got a big night" "oh....? we do?" "mhm so first you take these....and ill take these bags" he handed her the flowers while grabbing her bags. Soon they were both in the car driving out of the airport she kept glancing at him and smiling.

"I'm really back in Boston" "yeah... do you wanna be?" He smiled "it's no other place I rather be... If I'm being in honest" "good cause you staying with me regardless" "so you'll hold me hostage?" "If I have too" "boy bye😂😂" "this the same car we sat in that first night we met ... eating burgers and talking shit" YN laughed "I remember... that was a goodnight I remember when you kissed me ..... it was so damn passionate" "it's cause I wanted to fuck you" she rolled her eyes

"bae I thought we was being sentimental" "I thought we was being honest" she laughed "always.... So what's the moves" "go back to the house let you chill a little bit and then I invited a few people over for a lil game night" YN lifted her eyebrow "a few... like a group? Or like two?" "It don't matter you'll have fun ... I promise" "hmmm I was really looking forward to having some good sex tonight cause I know I can't get none tomorrow" "why not?" "You not fuckin before the game" "I might after tho...." "It'll be lazy sex I don't want that I been missing you badly in that department it's ridiculous" he smiled "we'll have time before game night .... I'll get you right" "good bae"

"I do wanna run something by you real quick" "I'm listening" "Deuce wants to come to the game...." "Oh ... so you don't want me to come?" "I want you to come I was trying to figure out if you was ready to meet him.... I know we talked about it before but I'm asking you again" she exhaled deeply "did you talk you talk to your mom?" "Yeah... she said we should wait a lil longer" "then I'll watch from the house it's fine" "bae..." "I mean it's the best alternative he should be able to watch his dad" "unless you don't sit with them"

"and then that'll be on WAGS by the end of the night are they really together if she can't even sit with the rest of the family at the games I don't have time for these blogs Jay" "I get it .... I did want you there though you can't always be worried about what other people think ...if we locked in we locked in you know what the fuck going on" "let me think on it" "that's fine with me ... I don't get that much time with you so knowing you watching me that close I would definitely be activated" she laughed

"orrrr I can be in your bed waiting for you fresh from the game....." "damn that sounds good....when you moving in?" She laughed loudly "boyyyy" "do you think you're ready" her eyes got wide "for what?" "Meeting Deuce" "oh...your mama said no so no plus I really want to meet his mom before I met him.... so regardless tomorrow isn't the time it's too rushed .....Have you talked to her about that?" "No should I?" "I mean yeah if you want me to meet him soon" "you right" she smiled "that's what I like to hear" "now.... Can we focus on something else" "like what?" "enjoying these three days together" "of course bae" she smiled grabbing his hand he turns up the music speeding to his house. When he parks the car her phone vibrates she looks down and then she sighs.

"you good?" he asked "no...but I will be after my shower" "what's wrong" "my vibe is just a little off..." "somebody said something to you" she bit her lip nervously "just this Ella stuff people keep asking me ...without really asking me I saw a few shady posts on the plane too....its just weird so many people are invested in us failing ...I hate that" "that's why I wish she didn't say anything it was over we moved on and then boom its back in your face im sorry bae" ".....yeah I just need to shower" "bet...lets go"

He gets out of the car grabbing her bags and then going to the door. She lifted an eyebrow staring at him through the window but then got out of the car going into the house. "what I do now?" "hmm?" "I know you...so why you mad" "you didn't open my door but whatever" "ummmmmm I was too busy getting your bags" "okay" "is that not enough" " I said okay Jayson" she immediately went to his room stripping and getting in the shower she just need some hot water on her body.

"Baeee!" she yelled from the bathroom he came in looking at her up and down licking his lips "Inviting me in?" she laughed "I was asking where you put my loofah ...its gone" "The housekeeper put it in the trash last week she said it had stuff growing on it ...since you haven't been here to use it" "awww damn" "Yeah let me grab you a wash cloth" she pouts "Okay" he laughed leaving but then quickly returning handing it to her "thank you so much" "mhm...you look so good wet skin smooth ..." she bit her lip

"wanna get in?" "yeah" he smiles while taking his shirt off "first you gotta tell me who's coming over" "its a surprise bae" he lowkey pouts making her slightly laugh she never seen him do that before "you know I don't like people" "you'll like these people...its fine" "and when is game night?" "We got like three hours" "And what are you doing for food?" "ordering some stuff'' "come in here" he smiled as he finished stripping and then he got in the shower with her shutting the glass door "Your showers always so damn hot" "it feels ...good I needed to relax" "I know you do" he kisses her forehead

"I wanna apologize for the door thing...you were doing enough and my hands not broke" he laughed " you use to me treating you a certain way but you can't do that and not be patient" "what you mean?" "I would've opened the door for you after I brought your bags in" "its only two bags Jay" "Maybe I didn't wanna carry the bags and open your door at the same time" "but ..then that was pointless walking....taking the bags in and then coming back out to open my door?" "to you but maybe that's my process" "oop you right" she laughed

"everything can't just go your way" "And why tf not" she joked "cause you not patient" she laughed playfully rolling her eyes. "hmmm you might be on to something" "I know i'm right" "when you be at my place I treat you way better"

"ima treat you good too...stop playing" "I don't force you to socialize with people" he laughed "bae ....you'll enjoy it we'll be in the bed by 11" "you think so?" "Mhm I know so ...just trust me won't be no late night over here" she laughed "I love you" "I love you too" "you forcing me to socialize my whole time here?" he shook his head "you only don't like socializing cause you don't like sharing me" "true cause I shouldn't have too why you like sharing me" "cause you're a bright light that nobody can dim anyway a lot of people deserve to see you and experience you just not in the same ways I do" "well that was poetic"

"and I meant it ......what time you leaving on Friday? before or after the game?" "It's a late game so probably before unless you really want me there" "hmmmm you know who we playing right?" "no? who?" "Melo" "oh wow no I didn't realize....so that's a no?" "nah I want you there" "I would have to leave right after ....I have a thing Saturday morning" "I'll fly home with you spend some time with you on Saturday after you get home" "and then leave that night?" "leave Sunday morning" "if you feel like doing all that" "yeah I do...simply because it'll be like two weeks before we see each other" "two weeks why?" "away games..... then I have stuff to do with Deuce" "oh well okay I guess we got each other for the rest of the week" she smiled he kissed her forehead

*time skip*

Their whole shower consisted of nothing but conversation she loved moments like that when they could talk forever and never get tired. It was evident he wanted her but it also was very obvious that he wanted to wait. Shower sex wasn't something he always wanted to do he needed to be in the mood. Currently he was down stairs setting up for the game night as yn wrapped up some work. A few emails were sent to her while she was in the shower so she wanted to get to them now so she can relax tonight. she hears the door bell ring. "You almost ready?" he texts her "five more minutes please" "ok"

she didn't wanna upset him but she had shit to do. Sometimes she didn't think that he realized she also made sacrifices for them to work. She didn't hear much conversation so she figured it most be the food. Once she found the files she exhaled attaching them to the email and then sending them off. She gave herself one last look over ...after all she had no clue who he invited to the house. She needed to look good. Her full Curly hair with her white toenails and bright pink comfortable but mini dress made her look amazing.

She walked downstairs he glanced at her clearly a little upset "Sorry ....i'm a hundred percent yours now" she pouted hoping it would make him take it easy on her. He lifts one finger beckoning for her to come closer. When she stood in front of him he smiles "I know you have to work sometimes ...no need to apologize especially when you look like this" she was pleasantly shocked "wow okay that makes me feel better" "good...I hope I make you feel better tonight" "pick me up" he raised on eyebrow but decided to listen picking her up she wraps her legs around his waist.

"you better make me feel amazing tonight ...if you have me out here hosting people..cause if you don't their will be hell to pay" she squints her eyes trying to be intimidating he couldn't help but laugh "don't threaten me...cause I might make you stand on that" "how?" he smirked kissing her lips she deepens the kiss moaning softly when she felt him squeeze her ass. And as usual once the kiss got heated the doorbell began to ring. "uhh 🙄 no" she says he smiles "Don't be like that"

he sits her down gently on her feet going to the door opening

"hey" "damn this is nice" yn knew that voice from anywhere "bitch? is that you?" She rushed to the door "YES!!! its me" it was yn friend from Boston everything had come full circle for yn in this moment her friend was there when she met Jayson and now she was here in his house the first night they host something together ...felt special. "yo bitch ass teammate coming?" She asked Jayson looking him up and down "Yup and don't talk about my boy like that" "what happened with that?" "bitch let me tell you...we drinking?" "yup he got my favorite wine in the kitchen lets go....bae you want anything to drink?"

"Just some water" "Lame!!!" FFB (friend from Boston) says "I have a game tomorrow" "he needs to stay sober anyway" yn bit her lip as they finally made it into the kitchen "drunk sex be lit" "he not gon get drunk he gon get tipsy and go to sleep ....he might as well stay sober ....but back to you clearly we need to catch up" "long story short....you remember last time you was here me and Jaylin ended up fuckin again....and it was way better ...and so I got a lil crazy" Yn passes her friend a glass and she takes a long sip

"Ummm crazy how?" "I was texting just asking when he was gon fuck me again....you don't fuck somebody like that and then think you can go ghost ...that shit mad weird he was all in my ear talking to me bitch had me folded up and shit and then aint say nothing else" "so then what you do..." "blocked him after he reached out again cause how you see my messages and don't respond but then just hit me back up talking about am I free? was I free yeah if he asked tonight will I be free? yeah but still..." yn laughed "yeah he can't be playing wit you like that you gotta figure out how to get the upper hand" yn hears loud knocks on the door

"yeah I will I have a plan but enough about me....did you see that Ella Mai Interview...you think she talking about Jayson?" yn sighed to tell the truth or not tell the truth...that is the question "I did see it yeah'' "yeah you think she talking about Jayson? ill stop streaming boo'd up right now" yn laughed "girl even I listen to her songs can't deny her hits" "you gon answer the question?"

"COME ON LADIESSS" Jaylen says loudly FFB rolls her eyes "ONE SEC" she says yn swallows hard finishing her drink "It doesn't matter one way or the other to me....because I'm happy so why dive into that with him" yn applauded herself mentally no lies were told and she didn't tell her business "well alright then lets go beat some ass" they walk out of the kitchen "Damn" Jaylin says looking YBF up and down "Boy stop before we leave" yn rolled her eyes "So much for getting the upper hand" "ill get it" yn laughed "what's the first game bae?"

*time skip*

Game night was great they had fun and then went right to sleep. The next day Jayson woke up completely focused on the game so yn relaxed around the house and worked some more. While he was taking his pre game nap she worked out. After a long talk this morning they decided that she would just watch the game from home. As bad as they both wanted her there it wasn't the time for it.When he woke up he was hella energetic he jumped out of the bed

"Excited for the game?" "Hell yeah I know you'll be watching so im real excited and waiting for me later?" "mhmmm right in this bed" "Can we skip to the good part?" she laughed "what you wearing tonight" "idk...pick me something out let me go to the bathroom" she smiled "ooooh okay" she was excited Jayson was chill but he took his fashion sense serious cause he liked to look good. She stood in his closet taking in his intoxicating smell and just before she zoned out into a trance his phone started to buzz. She walks out of the closet glancing at it

"Your baby mama calling" "Bring it here please" YN rolled her eyes "She can wait" he laughed "Bae bring me the phone" "fineee" yn grabs his phone bringing it into the bathroom handing it to him he grabbed her hand signaling he wanted her to stay he answers on speaker "hello?" "yeah I just wanted to let you know your son fell asleep...so I don't know if you wanted to have your mom still come get him or just let him come to the game next time you have him but yeah he had a long night last night" "long night like how?" "I have some family in town and you know he likes to stay up with everybody" They shared a laugh "Yeah that's fine just let him sleep let him know I love him" "of course I will good luck tonight" "thanks ...bye" "Byeeee"

He smiles looking down at YN "soooo you wanna come with me to the game" Yn shrugged playing like she didn't care "if you want me to..." he smacks her ass ...."Stop playing I want you to....so get ready" "Ima ride with you?" "Yup" "fuck well okay let me hop In the shower real quick" "Okay im trying to leave in twenty minutes" "Alright bae Ill be ready...I pulled two shirts you might wanna wear tonight too" "alright ill go look in a second"

In 15 minutes she had took a shower fluffed her hair moisturized her skin and now was putting on her outfit he was downstairs waiting on her. She loved what he was wearing

It was simple but cute she on the other hand had to step out for her first game where people knew who she was. She would be in the section with his family of course but also other players partners she needed to look good beside them .... She needed to look better than them but most importantly it needed to look like she wasn't even trying.

"Heels or no heels?" She asked Jayson still in the room "step out here let me see you" she stood at the top of the stairs "how you look that good in oversized shit? " "Focus bae you need to be on time" "yeah you can wear heels it'll give you some height since your pants big" "bet!!" She rushed off grabbed her black heels and then she flashed down the stairs he smiled "never seen you get ready so fast" "I mean you can't be late to work for me" he laughed "you right ... let's go"

He went Into the arena before her. She stayed in the car for a second getting a few pictures inside and out of the car and then she got out locking the doors. She took a deep breath she looked good now she needed to sell it ... she was a girlfriend she needed to act like the girlfriend. She was there to support her man above all else.

YN got to her seat pretty quickly speaking to his dad and a few of the players partners around her introducing herself and exchanging information.

Soon enough his mom showed up smiling. "I thought I was gonna be late... I'm glad to see you here" "thanks ... were you working?" "No I was halfway to get Deuce before I saw the message" "oh wow that sucks" "yeah but I'll be fine anyway how have you been when did you get in?" "Last night actually I fly out tomorrow night" "are you coming to that game?" "I plan on it Jay wants me too" "it's important to start being seen so I agree" she smiled "yeah... that's true I just gotta balance it all" "that's also true my son isn't your whole life it's good that you have your own identity"

"yeah my mom has always said don't ride anybody else's coattails" "smart woman I'm sure I'll meet her some day" "hopefully if I'm still around" YN laughed awkwardly slightly beating herself up why did she say that to his mom "I'm sure you will be..... he loves you I haven't seen him like this about anybody in a long time" "that makes me feel good" "it should"

Soon as shoot arounds started and she caught Jayson looking up at her smiling she was completely at peace. He loved seeing the picture of her with his family all that was missing was his son.

As he predicted he was hot the whole entire game first half he already had 30 points and he finished even stronger his points combined with JB blew the other team out of the water they had no clue what hit them. YN kept a smile on her face the whole entire time excited for the game excited to watch him play in his element with his people it was a moment for the books.

Fridays night game with Melo

YN could feel this game was important to Jayson. Every game was important but he was super focused on this one. They drove in the car singing r&b classics at the top of their lungs so by the Time he was walking in to the arena his energy was on a thousand and before the game could even start she noticed all his teammates felt his energy and it rubbed off on them.

He noticed her being in his city made a huge difference and he wonders if it's too fast to ask for her to move in seriously. It's selfish she has other things going on but it's heavy on his mind.

*time skip in the car

"The game was really close I can't but think he was trying to show me up in front of you" "orrrrr he wanted his team to win?" "Don't matter cause who won?" "My baby....you didn't have to dunk on him though " she smiled and kissed his lips "yeah I did he did it first" YN shook her head "you looked so good out there" she licked her lips slowly "wait until we get to your house .... Actually no ima fuck you on the plane.... Ima put you in the mile high club" "how you know I'm not a member" he lifted an eyebrow "are you?" "No that shit seem scary" "we gon do it right in the window seat.... Ain't no staff on board except the pilot and co pilot" "nobody coming with us?" "Nope just me and you ... so you can ride that dick in the clouds" "you being freaky tonight.... I love it" she smiled "I know I gotta talk to you like that sometimes"

Once they got home Jayson packed his stuff and they rushed off to the airport to get on the plane. As soon as she walked in Jayson was behind her smacking her ass. After talking to the pilots they went in the control room and prepared for take off. And quickly they were in the air.

"you wanna be in the mile high club?" He kisses her lips. She rubbed him through his pants and he was clearly already excited she stands up and then gets on her knees in front of him. He smiled lifted the window shade. She really was about to suck dick in the air .... Wow. He tried to help her by unbuttoning his pants but she moved his hands out of the way.

"You just relax.... I got this" he listened completely in awe.... Was she gonna take charge? She pulled his dick out in record time "you're already getting hard for me.... I must be doing something right" she licks her lips and then around his tip maintaining eye contact. Her tongue eventually licked every spot on his dick then she traced his prominent vein up to his tip closing her mouth for a second and then slowly allowing spit to come out of her mouth "damn" he said softly he could watch that scene over and over again. She noticed he loved it so she did it again and started to stroke his dick..... and then finally her mouth started to play too.

"You look so pretty" she stared him in his eyes as she went slow it was making him lose all his cool. He tried to keep his eyes open but struggled she grabbed one of his hands placing it on her head. "Want me to grab your hair?" "Mhm" he puts her hair in a makeshift ponytail "love to watch your face while you make me disappear" she moves her hand taking him fully into his mouth she gagged a little but didn't stop instead she pulled a little of him out of her mouth and placed her hand back on him stroking him as her mouth moved up and down expertly once she had enough she placed a kiss on the tip of his dick that was now standing at attention and then

she stood up and started to remove her pants she left her heels on because she honestly didn't feel like going through the Trouble of taking them off especially since he was already so worked up she stood tall and proudly in front of him bitting her lip planning her next move He opened his mouth to say something but she quickly cut him off "shhh I got you" she smiled he lean back relaxing and then she sat on his lap with her back on his stomach relaxing she spread her legs.

"Finger me bae" she looked up into his eyes he placed two fingers to her mouth singling for her to wet them. She let him place his fingers in her mouth as she got them nice and wet when she was done she pulled them out and he immediately went to her center teasing her.

He stared in her eyes as he tried to gain some control but it was clear she was in charge for now. When his finger slid inside her she immediately closed her eyes "damn" he smirked "you just always so wet for me" "it's the way you talk to me" "I just be asking you shit I really wanna know" "like?" "What I do so good in my life to deserve you" she gasped when his fingers began rubbing her clit.

"Baby hm?" He asked "I don't know" "all you know is you feel good...huh?" "yeahhh" he smiled once he felt her cuming on his hand she leaked on to his thigh but he didn't mind. She grabbed his dick about to slide it inside of herself but he stopped her "let me see your face while you ride this dick" she smiles standing up turning around and straddling him. she teased herself because he was extremely hard but when he had enough he slides her down himself. "how you know if I was ready?" "im sorry baby ...want me to take it out" she slowly started move her hips "Nope" he grabs her face kissing her deeply "yeah that's what I thought"

*Saturday

He finally got a dose of how she felt when he was at the gym or doing something while she was visiting cause while she was busy the whole morning he was in her home waiting for her just missing her. So when she finally walked through the door he was like an excited little kid" "hey bae how was your day? How did the event go?" Jayson asked as soon as she walked through the door she took her shoes off immediately sitting on the couch beside him she exhaled deeply "I'm so glad it's over..... it feels like it lasted forever and it was just like a waste of five hours" "damn bae" "yeah what you do?" "Nothing.... Just missed you and slept ... the sleep felt good" "good you deserve it" "I hope your day gets better" "oh it will.... After this shower" he laughed "yeah you go shower and I'll get us some food what you want?" "Surprise me bae" she stands up looking down at him he smiles pulling her back down on his lap.

"You ain't kissed me since you walked in ...." "Damn I'm slacking sorry bae" she slowly kisses him as he squeezes her ass. "I'll go to the Mexican restaurant ...how that sound?" "mhm that sounds good" "you want a chicken quesadilla?" "yeah and Birria tacos" "ou that do sound good" "mhmmm I know" he smiled "okay ill let you relax a little you want anything to drink?" "yeah the usual" she kissed his lips again and then continued talking "im so glad you're here ....if I didn't have you to look forward to I wouldn't have made it through work" "im glad I came too and all night its me and you" she sighs "and then you leave in the morning" "yeah don't focus on that though" she laughed slightly

"im driving you to the airport?" "yeah I want you too but if you don't want to its fine" he kissed her forehead softly leaving his lips there "ill drive you of course" "you don't want too?" "I don't want you to see me cry...and If I have to watch you walk onto that plane.... I might lose it" "bae..." "you wanted the answer Jay" he kisses her forehead again "you want me to uber?" "No im taking you...I'll just be a thug" he laughed "Okay bae...go relax while I get some food" he grabs her ass shaking it a little then smacking it. She stands up and then pulls him up "I hope our food is good" she says while walking to the bedroom "it will be ...like it always is" she laughed disappearing into the bedroom. He sighed shaking his head grabbing his keys and shutting the door.

*Sunday

She sniffled as he kissed her forehead "bae don't make this harder than what it already is" "sorry I'm just gonna miss you" "I'll FaceTime you as soon as I land... I love you be safe" "you too Bae" "let me hear you say it" he smiles "I love you so much baby" he Kisses her lips passionately and walks off towards the plane she gets back in her car waiting until she couldn't see him anymore and then she reversed her car going back home. Already she felt lonely they had practically spent the whole week together and that rarely happened....so saying bye for two weeks was eating her tf up inside.

*two weeks later*

It had been two weeks since YN had seen Jayson he had back to back games away and then he had his son so she knew she probably wouldn't see him for another three days. She had a girls night and had been working extra hard just to get out of this funk after none of her friends could come over she decided to call Melo inviting him over for a movie night which included pizza and wings with his favorite soda. It had been a little minute since they linked up so he decided he would come over.

Soon enough it was seven pm and he was ringing the door bell. "HEYYYYY FRIENDDD" she says with a big smile on her face he pats her head "damn relax I know you lonely you too excited " she laughed as he walked in "I miss you to Melo damn" "I know you do we gotta talk man" he shook his head as he took his shoes off "Wussup?" "So you know the chick I was telling you about?" "Yeah? what about her" "you was right...she fucked another player" "on your team!!!?" "nah somebody close enough to me tho....back in the day but still" "see I knew it she seem a little like a homie hopper cause she was just with NLE Choppa two weeks ago"

"And you ain't tell me?" "I aint think it was my business more importantly I thought you knew" "nah I didn't man" "Well does it really matter? like you honestly was just trying to fuck...so fuck her" his eyes got wide "nah" "Why not....if it was romantic I would get it but like are you gonna wife her?" "I don't wanna have this conversation with you no more its taking a turn for the worse" she laughed "im just saying...." Melo felt that yn was happy in her relationship with Jayson but she also wanted him around just incase it went left.

Subconsciously yn was keeping him on the back burner she was in love with Jayson absolutely but it was also nice to know that she could have Melo if Jayson ever just left her or she decided to leave him.

"im your friend if you don't have the conversation with me who you gon have it with?" "Me and LBG getting back together ....soon probably idk" "Wym you don't know" "she been hitting me up and I honestly miss being in a relationship" yn rolled her eyes "You wanna get our food and start the movie" "you don't think I should?" "She's bad news and that's all im gonna say...you were supportive when I straight ghosted you and came back and stayed with Jay so ima support you if you get back with her ...just know I feel like you shouldn't cause she's trash and you're setting yourself back by getting back in a toxic ass relationship just cause you miss constant pussy"

"Alright I respect that...lets eat" "do you respect it?" "You were my constant pussy!.... *he sighs taking a breath and then continues to talk* This has got to the territory of shit we shouldn't be talking about when you got a whole Nigga I'm trying to respect .... So you ready to eat?"

YN bits her lip taking a deep breath "yeah .... Let's eat" She respected Melo for respecting her relationship because she was clearly having second thoughts and had he kissed her she probably would've folded completely. Melo was to the point where he couldn't lose her again so if that meant he never touched her again he was with it.

She fixed his plate and then they sat in front of the tv. "We Binge watching stranger things right?" "Yupp unless you changed your mind" he glanced at her

" no ... stranger things is fine... I'll start at the beginning" she turns it on and it's quiet still eventually he grabs the remote pausing "why you do that?" She asked looking into his eyes "shhh let me just get my thoughts together" "okay..."

".... You my friend I love you I would be lying if I said I don't ever think about me and you but I respect your relationship and I respect the fact that you love him so from now on we need to do better with the conversations we having cause I don't ever want to put you in position of choosing between him and me or even cheating on him cause I know you not a cheater I don't want you changing your ways just cause shit got hard with that nigga" "well I don't want you changing your ways just cause you wanna be in a relationship that bitch don't deserve you she never did and i whole heartedly mean that please ... don't get back with her" he sighed

"you don't want me with her? Or you don't want me with anyone... else" "just her ...." "You sure?" "What do you want me to say?" "The truth" "the truth is I love Jayson and me and him are just now really getting to the place where we're good if I was gonna cheat I should've done it months ago but I didn't which means I know I love him .... But is it possible for me to love both of you? It's selfish to say I don't want you with nobody else but like.... Anyway that's the truth" "I gotta think about all that" he presses play she laughs trying to break the tension "just stay on your end of the couch Nigga " "that's what I'm trying to tell you Nigga" he smiled

****time skip*

she had dozed off before the fourth episode her head was in Melos lap and he was dozing off too until he heard the key in her door he glanced down trying to register what was happening and then he saw Jayson walking through the door. Jayson saw Melo and immediately rolled his eyes "she sleep?" "yeah? ....and missing you so I'll just leave Melo tries to carefully get up without waking her up. he gathers his stuff walking by Jayson "uh thanks man for being here...when I can't" He daps him Melo was shocked but appreciated it "No problem that my friend" "yeah"Jayson walks over picking yn up taking her to the bed room her eyes open.

"I must be dreaming" she said softly "nah...surprise" "yayyy baby I missed you" "I heard ...I flew all night to see you" he finally sat her on the bed "this sucks....I really be going through it" "it's not easy for me either bae...." "You let Melo out?" "He let his self out" "did y'all talk?" "I played nice if that's what you're asking" "Thank you bae" "you too tired for me?" "Thought you would never ask .... Give it to me" "nah...." "Huh?" She laughed "you was just sleep ... let's sleep I'm fresh from a flight" "even if I do all the work?" "Yeah even if you do all the work" she laughs "alright bet cause I am tired "

"you know you can tell me no... right?" "Yeah of course" "you sure?" "Yes bae" "it just seems like .... Since the thing you act like everytime I ask for sex I just get it..... even when it was bad you said yes" "you tired ima let you have it okay?" She started getting mad "what? I'm trying to have a conversation" "I don't think so..... I feel like you trying to prove a point" "what's my point then?" " idk you haven't made it" "alright you right I am sleepy ima just ....." he sighed walking into the bathroom shutting the door she sat there for a second but it wasn't sitting right with her. So she got up walking into the bathroom to see him washing his face he had just finished brushing his teeth

"do you think I'm scared to lose you? Are you worried?" "Yeah very ... I never want you to feel forced bae" she sighed bringing him close she kissed his exposed chest "my sex drive is high Bae I want it just as much as you.... Everytime ..... now do you want me to continue being honest?" "Of course" "before we had ... really healed and when I wasn't enjoying the sex it's cause I wasn't ready to have sex with you I did it because I didn't want you looking else where to get it .... So I kinda just forced myself to do it and make sure you were pleased" "damn bae that make me feel like shit" "why though? you didn't force me" "but I didn't catch on.... Ever I haven't caught on I haven't paid attention to you like I need too" "I could've been more vocal this isn't one sided" "that's true but I gotta do better" "bae ... why is this hitting you so hard? You didn't force me into anything I need you to know that I don't want you carrying that weight" he kissed her forehead

"it's like what you were saying in therapy the other week like .... I'm splitting my time so much that nobody is getting a 100% of me I missed a big milestone for Deuce at school and I vowed I would never be that dad" she saw him tear up"awww bae I'm sorry" she held him close she wished she could hold his head in her chest... but he's so damn tall" "I'm just ... anyway so yeah that happened and then I get back to you and I haven't even been paying attention to you either so like what am I doing good?"

"You're still a wonderful father above anything else Deuce tells you that himself and you're the best boyfriend I've ever had if I feel neglected I'll tell you but right now all we can do is go to sleep .... And you have to forgive yourself for the Deuce thing I'm sure he will to" "he wasn't even that upset .... I don't think he realizes how big this was" "maybe it meant more to you than to him regardless it was still big so I get you being upset" "yeah maybe...."

"Why did you miss it?" ".... I was sleep" "what are you leaving out?" "Well when I decided to fly back with you to Boston I remembered i had to go back Sunday because of his thing but once I got home I slept without thinking about his thing and I overslept cause I basically forgot" "so it's my fault..." "no it's not that's why I didn't wanna say that" "I mean if you didn't feel so obligated to be here..." "but bae I'm a grown ass man who knew what I was getting into when I said I wanted to be in a relationship this is not on you it's on me .... And ima fix it you gotta trust in me that I will" ".... Okay" "I don't want that weight on you" he smiled quoting her she smiled too "okay Jay I'll let you finish washing your face and stuff I'll be in bed" "okay don't get no wild ideas... we going straight to sleep" "yes sir" YN laughed

The next morning he woke up to the fresh smell of her fixing breakfast. She felt like it was the least she could do since he flew all night to see her. He got himself together brushing his teeth and taking a quick shower before coming downstairs. "Goodmorning..... all this for me?" he still had his morning voice that she loved so much. "Goodmorning" she nodded her had She had fixed cinnamon rolls,French toast, an assortment of fruit, Turkey bacon, applewood bacon and Turkey sausage. When YN felt helpless in situations she just liked to cook but she would never tell him she fixed everything in the house cause she didn't know what else to do other than cook and her surprise...

"Wow bae this is a lot" "I'm gonna eat too" he came over giving her a kiss "you not inviting nobody else?" "No.... Should I?" "I mean I kinda interrupted your thing with Melo last night so..." he didn't finish his sentence "it's fine bae" "okay... just making sure" she fixed him a plate and grabbed him a water bottle. " I love you" "I love you too" "when I walked in last night and you were sleep I can just tell He's in love with you and I feel like you have feelings too .... Do I think you'll act on them no but I want you to be honest with me and yourself" The words flowed out his mouth nonchalantly completely catching her off guard

"yeah..." "yeah I'm right?" "It's so early do we have to do this now?" "I'm not going no where I just wanna know what's going on" she sighed "I think it's truth to what you're saying I don't think he's in love with me though I think it's more so feelings of regret cause he assumed I would always be around for ... you know" "and your feelings?" "Are displaced .... I'm very happy here now we're stronger than ever but I would be lying if I said I wanted to see him in a relationship" "so you're allowed to find happiness but he's not?"

"Exactly it's selfish and what he does romantically has nothing to do with me it honestly never did " "I don't think it's romantic feelings bae ... I think you don't want him in a relationship cause then he won't just be available to you like he is now cause I can't always be here and you like your friend in the house cause at least you had something at one point most importantly your in the same city" she sat there really thinking "yeah I think you're right" he smiled "I'm so damn good" "whateverrrrr" she laughed uncomfortably "I hope this shows how much I trust you and how much I'm determined to be friends and lovers" "definitely .... Now let's eat cause I have a surprise for you"

"oh shit I'm excited" "oh well....calm down it's just a little something" she laughed "what is it?" "you remember the last time I was at your place...and you wouldn't tell me your surprise....cause im not patient? keep that same energy" "oooooh you so petty" he laughed "I just like making you wait...." "mmmm what I tell you about that teasing shit" "is this teasing?" "yup....but since you started it ima finish it .....later" she licked her lips "mhm okay" "Oh? you think im playing?" "no you not playing but ....neither am I" "mmm okay"

"bae stop" "stop what?" "You gon tease me bad?" "Nah" she exhaled smiling "oh okay" "ima tease you good" she kisses her teeth "boy why would you say that" he laughed "don't play I might tie that ass up" "with what?" "Im sure you got something in here I can use" "I'm not helping you find it" he laughed "I'll just pin you down or hold your hands... either way you gon do what I say" she bit her lip "you hear me?" He asks looking at her dead in her eyes "100%" "you like when I talk to you like that ... freaky ass" "shhhhh" she laughed "everytime I look at your perfect face I really be like this the same girl that swallows all of me... and my family thinks is an angel wow" "angel for them hoe for you.... Will always be my philosophy" "well damn bae" "a wife has to be all of it wrapped into one" "mmmm well you definitely that" "I know" she smiled finishing her juice

After they get finish eating and joking she guides him to the living room. "now bae I was working all morning on this so if I missed something you can add it but ....close your eyes let me grab it" he laughed listening "okay bae" "okay open" YN made a calendar that shows all his games and meeting plus all his days with deuce and deuces school activities and her free days to fly in all color coordinated. She couldn't read his face she had never seen him make this face

"ummmm let me explain before you say anything.... green is your stuff pink is when im available to travel blue is when i'm free but not free enough to travel Red is all the days you have Deuce yellow is Deuce activities and I have it all written down too and I put it in your iPad so it can sync to your phone too and just incase I have new things to come up or you do because our schedule is ever evolving but also because I want this to be as easy as possible for you so I hope it makes it better" "Come here sit on my lap" she was nervous but she listened

"yes?" "This is the best gift anybody has ever got me" "bae you --" he cuts her off "i'm serious bae you woke up early to do this and you still fixed me breakfast ....I love you and this will help me a lot" " I just don't want you feeling how you was feeling last night" "gimme kiss big head" she smiled kissing his lips slowly "mmm" "damn you so special" "okay bae stop" "nah let me hype my girl you so damn amazing the way you look out for me and you really care for me I've never seen no shit like that" "well you're welcome... I love you" "I love you too thank you for listening ...."

"Always" his lips quickly find her neck sucking softly "mmm" "what's that? You like that?" "Yes ... I do" " I like you" she laughed "babyyyy" "you like me?" "A lot a lot" "you like going steady with me?" "For nowwww" he smacked his lips "wym for now?" "I mean this is cute.... But can you handle me?" "I handle you all day long I don't know why you playing lil girl" she laughed "I enjoyed my time In Boston I wish I could do it more" "you can.." "how?" "The thing with Deuce won't happen everytime" "yeah I know I just feel like until he knows me then maybe I shouldn't go to the games he's at like last week worked out perfectly because I had an outfit and I looked good and Deuce fell asleep right before the game and didn't come"

"you did look good.... Like extra good it was casual but you looked ... mmmm I don't know if I like Wednesday night or Friday night look better " she smiled "you don't get that often huh? I guess when we step out I usually am extra girly" "I like that too tho Bae but yeah it was nice to see you in the baggy clothes cause I can still see your body but it was just... so damn sexy" "I'll keep that in mind .... I didn't know if you would like it" he massaged her butt bringing her close kissing her lips "I know what you doing Jay" "what I'm doing?" "Teasing...." "that outfit on Friday could've easily have been a date night fit" "how much longer am I gonna have to wait?" She says on his lips "for what?" "This dick" "tell me how much ... you want it"

"Jayson ..." "hmmm?" "I want you really bad all I keep thinking about is the plane.... And how you let me take control" "you like being in control?" "I did up there I like knowing that you let me .... And you can take it back at anytime" "I like that you know that" she bit her lip "that you have full control? Absolutely" "that turns you on ..... don't it?" She nodded her head and then kissed him hard she began to grind he pulls away slowly

"you not in charge today though.... today I'm gonna have full control Of your body" "you're gonna tie me up?" His fingers slide her pajama shorts to the side his eyes close when he feel her wetness. "Shhhh.... Let me hear your Pussy .... Stop talking" she gasps breathing heavy as his fingers slide inside her moving extremely slow. She grinds against fingers feeling this unbearable hunger for him she needed him. He did something inside of her that made her jolt forward "fuck fuck fuck that feels so good" "shhh or I'll stop" she kissed his jawline and then buried her head in his neck suck softly so she wouldn't make any noise. "I know you about to cum all over my fingers but I want you to hold it" YN whined "I want you to cum in my mouth instead"

he felt her smile he picks her up taking them to the bedroom. He strips and she takes her shirt off before she could take her shorts off he was in between her legs. Licking her clit painfully slow. "Jayson please..." he slides his fingers inside of her massaging the same spot as before while creating a section around her clit "ooooou thank you thank you" she loved looking down at him. Her hands played in his curls as she moaned softly. As he got more into it he would let out a noise that sounded like a growl pulling her closer to his face .... And that made her completely lose it.

"Ohhhhhh my goshhhhhh Jayyyyyyy" she felt him smile he kissed up her body immediately sliding in "kiss me" she says he kisses her as his hips began to thrust slowly. "I really was gon tease you until I felt this pussy" she smiled "you act like you ain't know" "I rediscover you every time I feel you" "woah that was beautiful" she kissed him he smiled "you're so beautiful baby" she kissed his lips almost losing it she fumbled over her words he watched her intensely "say it baby tell me you beautiful" "I'm...beau--" "bae say it" his voice became more forceful "fuck im beautiful" "yeah you are and don't you forget that shit" "Oh God--" he laughed slightly

"fuck you about to make me......" "you wanna cum for me daddy?" "..... oh shit" he released inside of her with no warning "mmmmmmm" it was warm it felt so good. He never stopped his hips "Jay..." "I'm not stoping bae" he kisses her it was sloppy but passionate "ohhhhhhhh goshhh" her hand came in between his hips and hers. "Wasn't expecting that... was you?" "Feels so good baby.... I'm about to—" "hold it for me and breath" "mmmmm but baby—-" "if you ask nicely" "Daddy can I cum please" his hand pushes down on her stomach so his thumb could rub her clit. "Look me in my eyes" "pleaseee?" "Yeah you can cum for me .... Let everybody know who making you cum" "Jaysonnnnnnnnnn" she said loudly "hmmmm? What's my name" "oh fuck Jayson .... Making this pussy Cum" "who pussy?" "Yourssssss" "you be creaming all on this dick you so damn beautiful.... Pretty pussy" he maintained eye contact with her as she continued to break. "Feels so good" "fuckkkk" he groaned as he released inside of her again. He pulls out slowly

"whew" she said smiling he laid down "I hope you good cause I'm tapped out" "I'm good.." she kissed his forehead laughing a little bit "good" "but if I wasn't you would have to find the energy" She stands up grabbing her big t shirt sliding it on her body and then laying back down "not today...." "You can't be cumming and then keep going that's why you so tired" "you trying to call me old?" "Yupp that's exactly what I'm saying" "even if I was old I'm an athlete I got stamina" "you didn't today... and that's okay" she laughed he rolled his eyes getting up she could tell he was annoyed so she stopped laughing but she was still smiling

"bae I was joking" "don't joke about our sex life... when you know I wasn't " he cuts himself off "that's a brief period in our relationship.... It's over now" "whatever" he walks out of the room after putting on shorts. She gets up following him down the stairs "what is the problem Jayson!!" "take yo ass back upstairs" "No!! because I make one joke and you're storming off" "it wasn't funny though" "Well i'm sorry" "alright" "what's the issue" "what's your issue?" "My boyfriend is mad at me....and I don't like that" she walks over to him kissing his chest looking up at him She figured if she tried the sweet approach she would get further

"Im not mad....I just--" "I hurt your feelings..?" "well....yeah" "Im sorry...You're the best lover I've ever had and I mean that" He smiled "yeah?" "the only reason I felt like I could say that is because I thought you knew that bae plus I know if I said I want some more right now you would give it to me...so I am sorry" He picks her sitting her on the island "what makes it good for you?" "babyyy" she whined "I need to hear you say it" She took a deep breath he could tell she was getting shy he found that cute

"I don't know how to explain." "try bae" "well..." he cuts her off as soon as she looks down "look at me in my eyes and tell me" She looks up at him speaking softly "well like it just seems you always know what to say and where to touch me...and I like that a lot" His fingers casually went up and down her thighs "Like I can read your mind?" "yeah.... you've opened up my eyes to things I didn't even know I liked until you said them" he kissed her lips softly. "like what" "mmmm" "Like what?" he kissed her lips asking again "that....I like it when you do that" "what I do?" He smiled "you talk to me like..you pry answers out of me but reassure me while making me feel like the sexiest woman on this planet and like I can do no wrong...you just make me feel so damn good" "i'm glad I do that for you bae"

"what I do for you?" "make me feel like nobody in the world can fuck you the way I fuck you....I honestly believe no man in this world knows your body the way that I do ....can make you cum like I do any of that" "their isn't" he kissed her lips again "niggas cant even handle you ...they wouldn't know what to do with your ass" "what you mean" "I handle you" "handle me?" "Yeah bae you know good and well I know how to put you in your place I let you be loud and talk all that shit but at the end of the day you know who's running the show" she bit her lip "I guesssss" she smiled making him smile too "deny deny deny that's fine but we know the truth" he kisses her again this time pulling her body closer to him. "We'll handle me now" "in what way?" "I want you" she whined "one thing you did get right is I have more energy"he sighed "more energy to do what though?"

"Give you another round ... if that's what you were talking about you wanted" "what do you think I wanted?" "Yn you know you gotta say that shit don't fuckin play with me" he says roughly making her smile "I like to play with you....." "ight bet" he picks her up taking her back to the bedroom she couldn't help but smile "since you like to play with me Ima play with you... stay there don't move" he went to his bag grabbing his belt coming back to the bed he climbs on top of her.

"Give me your hands" she hesitates so he grabbed them roughly tying his belt around them making makeshift handcuffs then he takes the shirt she has on pulling it over her head and tying it onto her headboard. "See how far you can move your hands" she moved her arms just to the point where she could see them at the top of her head "right here I think" she said softly he smiled at how she was already submitting "keep them flat on the bed" she listens watching him anticipating his next move

"You scared?" He asked staring in her eyes she shook her head no "just excited" "what you think gon happen?" He stands up "you're gonna fuck me good" "damn when if it's not good?" She swallows hard "it will be .... I have all faith in you" he smiled "you didn't think about something though" his fingers slowly started slowly going down her body she bit her lips watching his hand slowly "you thinking about something you missed?" His fingers rested right below her tummy threatening to go lower but never doing so her breath became heavy

"what did I miss" "how bad ima tease you...." She swallowed hard "how that sound?" He asks staring in her eyes "Do I have a choice?" She almost moaned "if you want me to stop I will.... But I'm stoping everything" she bit her lip "sounds good" "so what you want me to do?" "Tease me..." "until I wanna stop?" "Yes" he leans over kissing her lips passionately his fingers slide inside of her making her gasp in between the kiss. "Don't moan" "at all?" He smiled "at all" her eyes closed "and you gotta look at me" "babyyyyyy" she whined "what?" He kissed her forehead as her hips started to move slowly against his hand

"it's a lot of rules" "want me to stop?" "No" she said softly "you hear that noise your pussy making? You loving this don't even lie to me" "I wasn't gonna lie" "focus on cumming for me" "maybe if my hands weren't tied" "too bad they are" she pouts as his thumb rubs over her clit "ahhhh" "no moaning" she bits her lip "baby" she gasp "hmmm? Tell me what's happening?" "I'm cummingggg" "that's a funny way of asking" "can I .... Please" "good girl ... cum for me" her body shakes against him he climbs on top of her kissing her roughly. "Tell me what you want from me" "Jayson... what are you doing to me" "saying thank you...now tell me" "make love to me" he climbs on top of her kissing her lips and then kissing down her body slowly "spread your legs for me" she listened but he felt like she didn't do it fast enough so aggressively forced her legs apart "what you want now?" "Untie me.... I can't —-" he started to kiss on her inner thighs making her more weak "we're getting to my favorite part" "Jayson... please" her hips wiggled as she moved them up and down he darted his tongue out making contact with her clit she shivered

"I thought you like to be tease?" "This is too much" "but look how wet you are...." He kissed her again and then licks his lips "yes" "yes what?" "I—" "stop? You want me to stop?" "Ughhhh" he smirked "is that frustration?" "Yes! I don't play with you like this" "cause you know better" the tip of his tongue carefully traced around her clit before he completely took it in his mouth "mmmmmmm" soon after his fingers were inside of her "feel like I told you not to moan.... Maybe I should stop" "no ... it won't happen again I'm sorry please don't stop" he smiled going right back to his meal he loved how her legs shook and threatened to close around his head but she stopped herself "gosh" she said softly he looks up at her groaning softly as he gets her closer and closer. He kissed up her body making it to her lips sticking his tongue down her throat

"you want more?" "Yes please" "you sure?" "Yes sir" he slides inside of her groaning softly. "I miss touching you..." he kisses her forehead pulling the belt so that the metal piece would come out of the hole and her hands can be free. "That better?" "Yes way better thank you" her hand's immediately went to his back when he slides in. "You feel so fuckin good I love you YN" "I love you to Jay" "how much?" "More than... idk bae a lot" she laughed slightly as his hips started to move slowly

"that little huh?" He smiled "no it's that much that I can't even think of something that measures up to it" "If you could measure the galaxy and count every star in it multiply it be a thousand.....that's what would measure to how much I love you" he clearly didn't want her response because he kissed her hard as his hips increased

"mmmmmmmm" she moaned into his hand while staring in his eyes he smiled "good girl" he kisses her forehead and she breaks almost immediately. "Baby.... Pleasee" "please what?" "Cum for me.... Please" he placed two fingers in her mouth she sucks them softly "yeah.... Just like that keep looking at me" he loved the feeling of her mouth sucking any part of his body.... Plus the eye contact he was definitely ready to explode and so he did. She smiled when he closed his eyes because it was too much for him. "Shit...." He said softly. When he pulled out he aimed for her stomach but it was all the way up by her boobs too. "I'm a toaster strudel?" "I should've made a design then" he laughed getting up he disappeared to the bathroom but came back quickly wiping her down.

"Thank you baby" "mhm you know I got you" "that thing you said earlier...it's really sticking with me" he sat down on the edge of the bed with a worried look on his face "what thing?" "It was so beautiful ... how you rediscover me everytime you feel me" he smiled "well that was true bae...." "Does it only apply to sex?" "Hmmm" he sat there really thinking which made her smile he starts talking again "I don't know the answer to that because it's loaded" she bit her lip

"do you mind explaining a lil bit" he laughed "yeah um I study you everyday regardless of if we're together or apart I learn something new about you everyday so I don't know if that's rediscovering or if it's just me still getting to know you." "That makes a lot of sense" "yeah probably because it's the truth" he joked then he continued talking "come here" she sits up with the sheet wrapped around her body "yesss?" He kissed her forehead "you stuck with me .... You not go nowhere .... You hear me" she smiled "good cause I don't want too" "that's good .... Cause you no longer have that choice"

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