#bottled emotions

[foggyspecsonmynose]

On days like these, I wish you would call me. I wish we could talk until our exhaustion melts into a puddle of warmth. On days like these, I wish you could spare me a minute or two. Chests wide open, starry night taking our tiredness away, slow and ugly giggles—on days like these, I wish I could listen to you laughing and whining until I fall asleep.

Kaali | a tortured poet

[servant-of-phobos]

I pushed my feelings so deep,

When I look in the mirror,

Even I don't know me

[wowstrawberrycow]

Another Gigolas Drabble

Hello again! This one took me a while and wow is it a doozie. Thank you for the highly emotional prompt recommendation @viiluen! I feel like this piece challenged me in the best ways. I honestly appreciate that so much.

The Day We Saw Each Other

Pairing: GimliXLegolas-Gigolas

Warnings: heavy emotional pain, angst, healing depression with tears, and heavy comfort (I promise it ends decently)

Length: 2,513 words

This is the music I used to pull the writing out of me. I take no credit for the music, only the writing.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JUPoUnqDArk&pp=ygUcZW1vdGlvbmFsIG11c2ljIGluc3RydW1lbnRhbA%3D%3D

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=u5Rz06tMw5g&pp=ygUOIGZlYXIgYW1iaWFuY2U%3D

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=74QT6_P4ZQY

❤️‍🩹Please remember crying can help heal you too. You’re brave for it.❤️‍🩹 - me

Most beings could not fairly describe striking beauty such as the trees within the golden wood. The rejuvenating majesty within the air was undeniable. However, stifling aversion hung within the bodies and minds of all who crossed paths with the roots of trees. Unadulterated was the might of the wooden veins, for they themself held more than wisdom within. The eldritch mingle of refinement and consternation was even more alarming given the words Legolas had remembered about these trees despite their simultaneous welcoming energy.

“For all who dwell and all who visit the wood, Those whose hearts are adorned in icicles, Those whose fortress pinned with false shelter, For joys deceptive, All shall break upon the roots born here, So only the truth may remain.”

Truth? What truth would be torn from their being? What uncanny powers lay hidden in these wooden vessels? A shiver sprinted up their spine. This especially was so after the meeting with the lady of the wood, Galadriel. Being peeled like fruit, even silently, had their mind swirling into a flux of questions. Nevertheless, as the lady of the wood bore eyes undoing them, the stone coldness of their state that legolas kept remained unchanged. It was only after they had witnessed the dwarf's unwavering chivalry, that their mind shifted. 

How gracious the stout fellow was. How humble his soul was. How honorable this man was... The elf felt their cheeks burn brightly before they could no longer handle themself in the eyes of company.  The man's eloquent use of speech was also something they hardly expected from the man's kind.  Maybe there was more to Gimli than they expected. The dwarf certainly did prove himself to be quite the gentleman in the company of the lady. Could this be the truth Gimli hid?

They had always been perplexed by the dwarven race ever since they heard Thranduil speak of them. Their curiosity only grew ever since having dealings with them over the misty mountains. Dwarven kind never struck Legolas as particularly foul, despite actively having to shun the limited-statured fellows for public blending purposes. Their sister had utterly shaken them, as she had eyes for a dwarf herself. They couldn't comprehend it at first. But now,  perhaps maybe after a while of observation, they could finally see. Father was wrong. Legolas had learned that the man was wrong about many things. 

 Rifts strained harder at the seams of their mind. They caught themself thinking back to the gathering in Galadriel's court. The dwarfs' pulchritudinous words echoed ripping through their soul. Their cheeks still dashed with shades of red, while feeling butterflies cut through their stomach. It felt so sudden. What was that?  Perhaps it was the trees holding upon them. Mist filled their vision while they paced frantically attempting to grip at their rigid composure. Father’s freezing reminders crept back to their thoughts.

“Losing yourself is the first step to folly”

“Exposure leads to death. Remember that child.”

“No, little one. You must always remember that attachment too great, opens one to peril.”

They collapsed once feeling safely hidden while twisted in thought. The recent memories made in the woods captured them. Gimli's words to Galadriel chilled their core, yet broiled their heart. Legolas mournfully wished a man would speak to them in such a lovely way...

Shattering splashes of loneliness washed over them. They felt their mind reeling over their current crush downstairs who only had eyes for Lady Arwen.... Feeling glassy, they helplessly ground their teeth. The short-circuiting processes of age-old habits tore their heart further after regards to their friends fighting loved ones. They felt the divide before the group even set off from Rivendell. Friends and lovers, the mortals in the party they were. Then there was Legolas. They didn't have much at home, save for the trees, a sister who had her own path, and a parent who was more interested in alcohol, and hiding. They would gladly say they set upon this quest for the sake of their people. That is very true enough, but their personal life felt so desolate. Journeying far away from all the distractions of home made them realize just how alone they were. Physical jolts of pain seared their body in retaliation for the suppression.

Their voice finally cracked under whistling breaths. Legolas held their knees to their chest cuddling themself as they had no choice to give in. Their body simply could not handle the sharp pains attacking their muscles. Their breaking mind yearned for any gentle touch, while their eyes burned with eons of tears that were never shed. The natural soothing energy the elven land had radiated gave Legolas little comfort at the moment. As those same energies had forcefully rendered them to this state. 

Suddenly, there was a firm yet gentle touch to the elf's shoulder. "Oi laddie, what ails you so sad?" Gimli's voice rang clear and soft like dew on spring leaves.

For once caught off guard they sprang up with unparalleled terror in their eyes. Destroyed from salty streams and beaten red they were. They scooted backward fearfully as if they were a deer caught in a trap. How embarrassing it was to be in such a pitiful state. "nothing that you could remedy I'm sure... Please ... Leave me at peace with my solitude," they replied in a begging tone. Anguish pooled heavily in their eyes when they stood up to find a different, more secluded weeping place.

Gimli stared at the elf baffled by such a vulnerable display. He hardly thought it possible for elven folk to express such emotions. Through his experiences with such people, he assumed them to always seem cold or arrogant at the best of times. That is, outside of their blind merry-making. Legolas was the last he would ever expect to see weeping so fiercely even in solitude, as the royal was so quiet, awkward, and aloof constantly. Gimli finally stepped forward feeling a growing magnetism in his heart. Real kindness in these parts was never hidden among these roots, "Please, I insist.” 

“Stay back!”  legolas held the eyes of a cornered beast, growling as they whipped out a knife in their shaking hand. 

Gimli paid no mind to the royals' request. He easily disarmed the elf and grabbed them by the hand and pulled them to them closer.

"You won't leave even if I demanded you to do so, would you..." Legolas sniffled as unusual stating the obvious. Their seas of salt halted in the presence of company. Their once wavering voice went back to its void, calm, air. However, the numbness was easier to gather via the monotone of their pitch. Their abused, flushed skin that surrounded their eyes began to uncontrollably burn as suppression seeded their actions.

To this Gimli scowled. "No, I won't. There is no use hiding it either my lad. You gave yourself away with that display," unable to set the royal’s hand free he guided them through the wood. The elven vulnerability was a marvel. Gimli felt himself dwell on the raw smolder he saw curled up only moments ago. His own heart pounded relentlessly, unable to relinquish the exquisite pain of the elf's emotional state. As horrible as it was, his heart was entranced in the devastating beauty.

Legolas smiled hallowly at the gentle contact and followed the man. Though they couldn't say for sure why. Perhaps it was only the work of the forest making it feel easier to be among company? But Legolas shook off the feeling, allowing the present numbness to grow stronger at the man's words. "I can't muster anymore of it. It has passed. Just old memories and some newer. That's all. There's nothing anyone can do about things that lay in the past " the elf spoke solemnly but they also made no effort to break away from the dwarf's touch. 

"Ahhh, I see. Well, you are right about that. But clearly it is still painful. It's a shame you don't express yourself more. I like that side of you much better than this mask you put on for show " Gimli looked up at the other to see their lips quiver in restraint.

Gimli’s sensitivities sent Legolas’ heart thumping again. Their cheeks blazed before taking a shallow breath. Their hand subtly trembled in the dwarfs. This blasted forest had a way of effortlessly pulling them to the brink of despair. " I don't know what you mean. I am as I always have been. I'm simply me." their voice revealed the timid fawn that buried itself deep inside their being.

"Oh? Is that so? Well, then perhaps it is my imagination that I sensed pain and saw you flip to a chilly face after your burning eyes were drenched," He emitted the warmest glow with every word while giving the elf a little nudge to the side. 

Legolas couldn't hide their shuddering body, "Fine. Then what would you have me do, I wonder?" they looked down at the man with disdain.

"Why not sing the pain away? You do it often enough. I may not know well the tongue in which you sing. But, I do say you sing beautifully nonetheless," Gimli chuckled deep and jolly. 

Legolas broke their stride whipping around with wide eyes. "You've heard?! When and how?! I coveted my solitude! I'm sure no one could hear my private voice!" The elf’s eyes flashed with embarrassment and inflamed irking. Their voice scorned heavily upon the man.

"Oh yes, one might think you were a maiden with that lovely voice." The dwarf jeered delighted to get a rise from the royal. Though jokingly said, he completely meant it. The elf did have a gorgeous singing voice despite their cold expression worn even in private places.

Legolas scoffed but said no more as their hand was firmly cradled. They found themself again unable to fight the dwarfs' lead. Something was soothing about Gimli's simple act. Physical contact was welcomed after lonely years of thirsting for any drop of affection. 

Gimli triumphed in this situation but said nothing. He simply sat in front of the water that he just noticed at his feet.

Following Gimli's lead Legolas planted themself nearby. They turned their head staring off into the distance leaning against a cool boulder beside them as if it were a person. They placed a hand upon its surface in need.

Gimli sighed gently, caressing the elf's arm, "Your heart is aching. In'et laddie? There is no sense hiding it any longer."

Legolas nodded, daring not to deceive their companion any further in such a pristine place. 

Gimli squeezed Legolas' hand. He couldn't offer many words so he sat with the elf respecting their silence. 

Legolas tucked their blonde locks behind a pointed ear. Looking gratefully at Gimli, their words stumbled out, "I'm going to dub thee elf friend… I-I think," their cheeks tinted themselves pink, right before beginning a melody of sorrows under their breath. No tears were able to form as they still had an audience. Albeit, just one, it was still an audience all the same.

Gimli smiled half-heartedly as his friend finally took his advice. After some time the dwarf scooted closer testing the waters of his company. 

The trees seemed to rustle victorious while working their healing magic. No truth be hidden in Lothlorian so long as the lady dwelled there. Legolas certainly was receptive to the elven magic. They were now feverish from numbness. Their physically ill expression turned to one of almost childlike fear. They quivered feeling intensely distorted as their fever set in their bones. 

Gimli immediately took notice pulling the elf into a comforting embrace, "oi... There's no need to suffer alone. Speak your mind. You've held it quite long enough." With a large hand, he petted Legolas' hair. His eyes widened at the softness of the golden locks. The royal looked delicate as if they were a wilting flower in the snow. His heart skipped while it also crumbled to dust.

Legolas peered up from the man's lap feeling a wave of comfort wash over them. As if hypnotized, the elf's bottled emotions were broken free once more. Tears abruptly poured from their eyes as if salt had been dumped into a wound, "I-I-I... have... n-no-one," their voice broke out into shuttering cracks. 

What was left of Gimli's bleeding heart sank. Even he was not impervious to the centuries of suffering that flooded from the taller form before him. Such sensitivity was a myth until this moment. Witnessing such fragility, urged the dwarf to gently grasp the elf pulling them to his chest. He hardly had a chance to realize he had followed through with his heart's request.

Legolas nuzzled instinctively into the man. Tears assaulted the fabric of Gimli's tunic. The closeness was far more soothing than they could ever explain. Pain escaped, leaving them lighter as their fever finally began to die. 

Gimli rocked them gently, he too began to tear up. With his large hands, he caressed legolas’ trembling shoulders. Hearing the elf’s whimpers only brew up further, allowed him to finally speak, "You have your friends in this fellowship laddie. We work together. You are as much a part of that bond as I or anyone else is." his own voice cracked but there was no falter in him.

"You aren't wrong I suppose." Legolas nodded lifting from their spot only to be pulled back with a gasp.

"No, I can still feel the pain. I'm not so proud that I cannot be a friend in your time of need, " Gimli gave the other a dominant yet gentle expression.

The elf's breath was taken away. Their own heart skipped beats, causing them to breathe shallowly before giving in to the dwarf's command. Such action allowed for a sweet grin to draw upon their face. They could feel the tears finally stopping. They could feel themself now drifting into elven meditative rest. With eyes still open, the exhaustion of the moment had finally taken its toll.

Gimli on the other hand, was still caught in the awestruck radiance that Legolas was. The elven figure was not merely a stoic, pretty face. It was sometimes easy to forget that raw emotions lay behind all faces, even elven ones. Today was quite something... The lady and now Legolas had opened his eyes to much. 

He'd need to be more vigilant with the elf from now on. He often saw Legolas sitting alone pondering. Now he knew sadness was the royal's inner company. How awkward Legolas might feel among expressive mortals? loneliness could drive one to madness. That was something he'd rather not see someone so fair experience. This was especially so, now that he could see the need for love and acceptance in Legolas' heart. Gimli rose carrying the elven flower and with the utmost care. Despite his stout stature he handled the larger body well, "Rest lighter my friend," He tucked the elf into a bed provided for them before going to his own.

[allhailnarusama]

-loud sweating- I wasn't sure I was gonna be on time for these

Anakin Skywalker vinyl stickers will be going out to all Jedi Knight patrons...

... and Jedi Master Patrons will be getting their own Bottled Emotions acrylic keychain!!

Assuming I can order these on time... -more loud sweating-

If you like these and want to snag them, consider becoming a patron!!

[foxgloves-and-inky-caps]

Pick Your Poison

I picked up a bottle, holding it closer to the dim lamp. It was large, its neck stubby, its cork on the verge of falling out. Its contents shone a dark, hateful red beneath the paper-thin glass. Scrawled onto its label in wispy black letters was the word 'anger'.

I glanced up at her. "What is this?"

She gave me a slash of a smile, shockingly sharp on her soft face. Her teeth were pointed. "What it says on the label."

I turned the bottle in my hand. The liquid inside roiled at the movement, pressing up against the glass like it was trying to break out. "Surely not. You can't bottle anger."

"Whyever not?" She began pointing at the different bottles. "Anger, lethargy, nostalgia, confidence, contentment. Any feeling you could want, for a price." After a short pause, she added, "Of course, your kind is remarkably bad at self-control when you have a bottle of pure emotion inside you. I'm legally required to warn you about that."

"Consider me warned," I replied absently, studying the bottles with new eyes now. What would pure happiness feel like? What could you do with confidence running undiluted through your veins?

She laughed, the sound as soft and bright as dawn. "In that case..." She spread her arms, indicating her wares with another jarring smile. "Pick your poison, human."

[mollykeystone]

This part slaps. Every. Single. Time

[pistanthrophobiamaiden]

So I'm getting married. That's pretty cool.

I told myself that being 28 was gonna be the coolest thing in the world. I had this idea growing up that once someone hit 28, they were in that sweet spot of youth and wisdom. Now that I am, I'd say it's a cool life but I don't feel wise lmao.

Anyway, getting married is something I genuinely never thought would happen to me. I met a man, a great man, and he loves me enough to want to marry me. He sees me and gets frustrated with me sometimes, but he loves me anyway.

I struggle to communicate after a lifetime of being conditioned to keep all of my thoughts and feelings inside. I got to a point where I could have something happen to me, I could ball those feelings up like a paper wad and toss them away, never to be seen again.

Only that's not what happens. It gets put away, crumpled, and messy until someone comes along that you can't hide from. They shine a light into that void inside your soul and force you to sort the mess inside you. They will love you while you cry, kiss away your fears, and give you the reassurance that just because you're human and you deserve it. It's going to make your inner child cry, and your inner teenager rage out like nothing you've ever experienced before. It's a journey.

I'm marrying that person. That man. I don't know what I did to deserve him, but my god I'm so thankful for him. I don't communicate well, but I am trying so hard for him.

[y2kbeautyandother2000sstuff]

Bonne Bell Bottled Emotions Ad

late 1990s-early 2000s

found on ebay, user bgbrwneyesny

[slut4poets]

Colors and shapes and triangular tastes,

I don’t seem to know what is and what’s not anymore.

It’s like I can’t even exist

Without these thoughts that dismiss my feelings, although logic’s never really been my friend

What can I do

Now that that I’m stuck in my train of thought in this forever loop

I can’t seem to get out of

I can’t seem to get out

Too many thoughts, too many feelings, too many emotions

Too many lives wrapped up in one

One that I don’t know how to handle or take care of

Resting my eyes in hopes for it all to go away

Someday

It doesn’t work.

There are no words left in my dictionary, I hope this is temporary, could this get any worse?

- too much

[hopefulromantical]

i’m craving the release that comes with crying until i can’t anymore,

until all the emotions that have been building up inside have been turned to trails of salt on my cheeks.

but i’m finding myself unable to cry. unable to feel.

so it’s bottled up inside, drifting on the waves of emotions.

feels like anything could break me, and weakness scares me.

but i’m tired of being strong.

[iamtheunholyspirit]

Don't Be Fooled By My Dry Eyes - HarpforHim - Cars (Pixar Movies) [Archive of Our Own]

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

This is some old vent art I did. It started as a vent sort of sketch but I liked the concept so much that I kinda went all out. It took me months to finish.

I bottle my emotions so much that sometimes it feels like I'm drowning just before the jar shatters everywhere and the blades of glass cut deep into my skin and everyone else who is around me.

[servant-of-phobos]

To carry the weight of a heart

as heavy as mine,

No soul I've met yet

makes it chime,

Their lyrics never matching

my inner rhyme,

I only wish to find someone

to be mine

[choppun-kun]

I feel like the bottled up emotions aspect is much more interesting to see in media because that feels like it's a universal experience.

I think that more fanfiction should be written with the aim to tackle the original meaning of hanahaki. Because when the concept of hanahaki disease was originally created, it was intended to be a metaphor for suppressing one’s feelings.

Your feelings are this beautiful garden of flora inside of your chest. When you express how you feel honestly, you allow for it to grow freely. But when you hide how you feel out of fear of rejection, and try to make it smaller and smaller, the flowers become cramped inside of you, until you choke on your own feelings. Every flower you cough up is something you’ve felt, but refused to say.

The whole “dying” thing is intended to be more symbolic especially. You’re killing off bits and pieces of yourself and how you feel, because you’re afraid to express yourself.

It’s not really supposed to be, “The one I love doesn’t love me back, and I’m dying from it.” Rather, it’s more along the lines of, “Repressing your emotions is bad for you, and it’s better and healthier to express them freely, even when it’s scary.”

Which is to say that, one, the cure for the disease should be telling the person that you are in love with how you feel. How the other person feels about the person afflicted should have nothing to do with it, as the trope is meant to be about feeling your emotions unapologetically.

And that, two, it’s not an inherently romantic trope. Obviously, it has romantic applications, but it can be written for any situation where a character is hiding how they truly feel. This can include a refusal to address a specific trauma, a desire to indulge in something that they’re ashamed of, and even really practical things, like wanting to ask one’s boss for a higher position.

Although (as an aromantic person myself) I don’t agree with this conclusion about the trope, this application would also avoid people calling it arophobic. When the thing killing the character is a refusal to be honest with themselves, rather than an unrequited love, it’s on nobody’s hands but their own to save their life.

There are a ton of ways that this interpretation of the hanahaki disease could be applied in new and interesting ways in fanfiction, and I’d love to read what things people could come up with!

[lunaboy1996v2]

I've had all these pent up.

[idiotthewise]

Don't bottle your dreams like I have.

Depression is a killer.