#both of them have pent-up guilt i think but then they forget about it when they're together <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[darklight-owl]

Castthrone. I lovethem.

Girl who has forgotten her past and is afraid of what she might find when she remembers x girl who is trying to move away from her dark past and become better. They see the best in each other they are a pillar of strength for one another. Do you see. Do you see my vision.

[cabeswaterdrowned]

I had a lot I mean A LOT to say about the Blue and Adam ninos fight (and what I’ve written here does not even cover all my thoughts) so be forewarned:

“But I saw you guys trying to hide it. The crazy thing is — like, I’m right here. I’m with you guys every day. Do you think I didn’t see it? He’s my best friend. You think I don’t know him?” “Then why aren’t you having this conversation with him? He’s half of this, you know.”

Have spoken about this before but really I think Adam’s approaching Blue and only Blue about it comes from several different factors. I think one is that they got into a mild conflict in the last book when she and Noah went with him to help with Cabeswater and they were able to resolve it pretty easily and the world did not end, so maybe part of it is that has made Adam a bit more at ease with fighting with Blue being part of their dynamic, but doesn’t feel he has gotten there with Gansey yet. Then certainly Gansey’s looming death is a factor, their fights tend to be so explosive and to have one when he knows there’s a good chance he’ll lose Gansey is too big of a risk for Adam to take, and then combine that with his fear that he will kill Gansey or that any negative emotion he feels towards Gansey can become detrimentally hurtful and of course he wants to avoid that confrontation at all costs, meanwhile Blue is not destined to die and while he has some degree of fear of his anger/negative emotions in every relationship he doesn’t feel that with her in the specific heightened way he does with Gansey so he has freedom to have the fight with her as a stand in for both of them, even though that’s unfair to her as she correctly points out. Then there’s his revelation about Blue’s curse applying to Gansey. I’ve been attempting to track the dynamic of when/how Adam perceives Bluesey and I really think he is at least subconsciously/partially aware of it since late TRB but kind of is partly in denial about it or partly cautious about whether or not he’s wrong for a while, and kind of sets up some tests or opportunities for them (mostly for Gansey, specifically thinking of him asking Gansey to talk to Blue about why she won’t kiss him in tdt then being in a position to observe them together + the beginning of BLLB where he casually suggests to Gansey to take Blue to the next Gansey family function, there’s another instance in BLLB I think that I’m forgetting specifically) to prove this to him + tell him about it, and then when he asks Persephone how he can keep from killing Gansey and she replies with “why do you think your the one who kills him?” or something along those lines it fully clicks / he fully knows about them and the curse falls into place. So that was like a week ago (which by the way this book only being a week after BLLB is crazy pacing wise I have a lot of issues with it that’s for another post), and it’s still fresh. So this all has him connecting the guilt and self loathing and fear he’s been harboring for months about the possibility of killing Gansey, something that has fueled many of his actions (although like. really it’s what the vision represents that fuels all this not the vision itself which is a manifestation of those fears so you could get really theoretical debating that but putting a pin in that for a separate post also) and choices related to Gansey since the vision, to a tangible person who is destined to do what he fears, so he’s seeing what he fears in himself that potential to kill or hurt Gansey and also loving Gansey the two are linked, reflected in Blue who also is in love with Gansey and fears killing/hurting him since she knows it’s likely. So imo he’s projecting a lot of those pent up feelings he has about himself towards Blue. 

-And then specifically him taking her to task for being irresponsible enough to go on the date with Gansey and accusing her of being selfish and not caring about him enough if she’d put him in harms way like this… many things to unpack there first of all Blue would be well within her rights to slap him for that it’s really such an impressive display in self control that she does not, especially after their why-won’t-you-kiss-me conflict and how it played out. Secondly, it feels so true to Adam’s understanding of his own loving and fearing that he will hurt/kill Gansey dilemma, to him the answer is to compartmentalize the love and the hurt in the relationship and be super careful and avoidant to ensure he can’t accidentally hurt Gansey even if it makes him feel lonely and terrible and that when he’s hurt by something Gansey says or does he needs to bottle it up forever because the alternative is to be a monster, and seeing himself as fundamentally not worthy of Gansey, so Blue not treating her relationship with Gansey the way he does throws those compartmentalizations out of order and he sees it as a *wrong* way to feel / act on love for Gansey.

Also it’s sooo funny how he’s like. “Have you considered all the ways you two could potentially kiss in different places in different situations I can’t believe you two have left it to Me to do the math and imagine every possible scenario that could lead to you falling on Gansey’s lips and kissing him, I am of course only doing this on my own time because I am a good friend and a scientist therefore I need imagine Blue and Gansey making out, I must fall on this sword myself. Blue is nicer than me I would have forced him to explain in detail exactly what he meant by that

[masterchef901]

Some rampant Freckle theorizing (Idk how confirmed this is but we roll it (lackadaisy spoilers))

I was thinking about Freckle and the theory/general idea that he killed or hurt his dad and Rocky took the blame for it, and the more I think about it the more it explains a ton of Freckle's character.

Like, we'd have the obvious and immediate: he follows Rocky and does whatever he asks without question, because Freckle feels like he owes him a debt, one worth killing for. Not to mention, we have some more rationale behind Freckle's habit of trying to fix things when stressed, and his original intentions of becoming a cop, both of which may represent a sort of penance in his mind. Try to make things better to make up for how he made them worse. Get dangerous criminals off the street, to make up for the fact that he feels he is one.

But then we get a bit more in the details of things:

"Remember to always lie" lands a lot heavier in this paradigm, doesn't it?

But the way the other letters are framed right there with him make me think they're a part of the trauma too. That make me think that every single one of these weighs on him, makes him think: "Rocky's struggling out there because of me"

"He's suffering because I lied"

"I'm doing this to him"

"I ruined his life too"

and yet, at the same time,

"If I tell anyone then Rocky suffered for nothing"

And that would absolutely eat at someone. Eat at them enough that a particularly inflammatory letter would leave them curled up and broken in their room marinating amongst years of other accumulated pain.

And bearing this view of his past in mind, I speculate a bit on his defining trait in the present:

The oft-accepted explanation is that he's just a "natural killer", or that these acts of violence are in some way a release of other, possibly unrelated pent-up stress and anxiety. But bear with me a moment, and consider another angle:

You're a murderer. You've spent years lying about it. You threw your cousin under the bus. You lied to your mother. You're a murderer and you can never forget it. You always lie. You have to remember to always lie about being a murderer.

And then you kill someone again.

And this time it's in front of plenty of witnesses, it's to protect someone and most importantly: it isn't a secret to these people.

I posit that in this moment, Calvin "Freckle" McMurray is feeling honest with himself for the first time in years. He has internalized the feeling that he's a murderer, and now he gets to wear that, and be "himself", for what he feels that is, and he doesn't have to hide. He doesn't have to hide that he's a murderer anymore. In the most fucked-up possible way, Freckle is owning who he is. Maybe it's a stretch, but I think what we're seeing is the euphoria of relief, from a particularly twisted confession.

The next time we see him actually shooting again...

There's still some of that derangement, but it also seems to me that Rocky's doing most of the laughing. And maybe it's the involuntary mud-bath he takes after this panel, but...

That mania sure faded quick this time. Even though he's digging for it, trying to find it, the euphoria just isn't coming the way it did just a couple canonical days ago, and I think it's because there's nothing more to get from it.

The killing confession's been given, and there's no more relief to be found in trying to let himself be a killer. Now it's just... more bloodshed.

At this point, we've caught up pretty much completely to our protagonists in the story. From here, we move from the 'bear with me but' kind of speculation to just totally rampant guesswork. But what could this mean for our adorable gunman's future?

Well for starters, I think we'll see his work quality start to take a dip once he realizes he doesn't actually love it.

And for seconds, it means that he's probably not done riding the guilt train either. If anything, he might start working out his confusion, realizing just how fucked everything in his life is. Might even begin to resent Rocky for it.

And perhaps most interestingly in my mind is how this poor kid's emotional state is going to interact with his relationship with Ivy. After all, I feel like the very nature of the relationship is still settling, and we don't really have a clear view of how invested its members are in it. Maybe Ivy's just in it for some fun and Freckle's along for the ride and eventually the ride'll end and that'll be that. But, uh, something about the laws that govern narrative existence makes me think that this will perhaps not be the case.

Because suppose that Freckle starts feeling it more deeply. He might easily see his first true confidant in Ivy - someone who he owes no debt, who he's under no obligation to lie to, and who seems both aware of and okay with his homicidal tendencies. He could really come to lean on her a lot as he develops and navigates his trauma. And this leads to some outcomes:

If Ivy's willing to reciprocate that trust and vulnerability, we get treated to some absolutely delectable hurt-comfort.

If she isn't, she might back off, even sever things entirely as she's not used to dealing with this kind of baggage in a partner. Depending on how in-love Freckle's feeling at this point in this timeline, the sudden pain and isolation on top of his freshly re-opened trauma might be enough to send him into a complete mental break in the worst case.

And either way, and no matter which way anything goes, we get some absolutely killer drama.

[darling-i-read-it]

Survivor's Guilt Part 2

Part 1

Chris Redfield x fem!reader, Ethan Winters x fem!reader

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: angst on ethans side, re7 spoilers, canon violence (zombies, horror, guns), cheating kind of, near death experiences..i think thats it

Author’s Note: I felt like this story led organically towards Chris though that does not mean I don’t love Ethan to death. I felt unsure about the ending but am glad I was able to write a part 2 because people have been asking about it! 

Tagging: (i hope you guys dont mind I’m tagging you but you seemed interested in a second part!) @godihatethiswebsite @undeadfreak47 @hexaecana @elysiaaaaaaa

Summary: You and Chris search for Ethan in the ship and old feeling resurface. 

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

Chris’s voice was even when he spoke, even when he was scared. Especially when he 

was scared. There was no point in making everyone else react to something if he could just keep that all pent up, make everyone think he had it under control. Your face was so wide with terror, the kind he had never seen plastered on your face before. He didn’t recognize it on your features but he recognized it. He knew it from the civilians he helped, those that were so worried about their loved ones that they would do anything to see them safe. The look in your eyes dripped with self sacrifice. He wondered if he looked like that when he was with you. He wondered if despite what he thought, he looked like that even now, following you around and blocking you from danger. 

You had lost Ethan. Lost him in the house, on the ship. You were stuck walking around a shipwreck that was too large to case, too large to fully understand. 

Chris was trying his best to make you feel like he had it under control. He would find Ethan, return him back to you, never see you again. The more time he spent alone with you the less that became a priority so he was eager to forget this ever happened. Forget it happened for the sake of his sanity. Forget that there was likely a life where you and he were happy and normal and domestic. 

Even when you brushed past him in the tight hallways of the ship, he longed for your touch. 

“If Ethan’s here then so is Mia,” you muttered. Your voice was barely above a whisper. It sounded so loud but you were trying to ensure it didn’t echo down the hallway. You could never be sure that there wasn’t something watching you. 

“Eveline too,” Chris said, just as quietly. You were both tense as you walked around a corner. Chris hadn’t put his gun down in ages. It was starting to leave imprints in his gloved hands. 

“It’ll be a party,” you muttered. Your eyes caught a glimpse of something on the ground. You rushed forward in the near darkness to find a knife, a lot like the ones left at the Baker house. It had dark blood smeared on the tip. There was nobody to accompany it. 

“You think it’s Ethan’s?” he questioned, looking over your shoulder. You shrugged. 

“Could be. Could be Mia’s.” You pocketed it. You kept walking. Chris followed you, watching your six like his life depended on it. You glanced back at him. “How did things get like this? When I left, all the monsters were tangible. I could see them coming for me. Now we’re here with slime on the walls?”

"There's some sort of hive mind,” he explained. “There’s too much to tell you now. You’ll just have to trust me when I say it’s evolved.”

“Yeah well, I can tell that it’s evolved. But how?” 

“We don’t know.”

“You’ve been knee deep in this for so long and you still don’t know the reason it’s all happening? Is it Umbrella? Is it the world finally caving in?” You turned around to look at him. He almost ran into you. “Pretend I’m a civilian asking you these questions. How do you answer them? How do you tell people that you can be a perfectly nice family out in the middle of nowhere and still be targeted by something beyond your control?” His jaw set. Your eyes had adjusted to the dark so much so that you could see Chris’s stubble. You could see the look in his eyes, the challenge. 

He took the words as an insult. He took you being here, as an insult. He had done so much to protect you just for you to end up in the same place you would’ve even if he had kept you by his side. 

“Umbrella started something and they don’t know how to finish it,” he said finally. “But the world has assured us that there are other forces at work here. Eveline is not exactly an Umbrella creation.” You shook your head. 

“Of course not. Because that would be too easy. You defeat the big bad and it always comes back with more heads right?” You shook your head. “I’m sorry I’m coming at your throat. I just never thought I would be here again.” You had been comforted with the knowledge that people like Chris were out there protecting you. That was the only reason you let yourself go. 

“The world isn’t exactly fair.” 

“It never has been.”

Your eyes lingered on his. Remembering what it was like to touch him. Remembering what he looked like in the morning, the sun on his face, a gentle smile on his lips, a chaste kiss on your skin. The very thought made you angry. You had left all of this to have a life you weren’t even allowed to have anymore. 

It didn’t matter if Ethan lived through this or not. You would be right back where you had started years before. In danger. Always. 

There was a bang in the room before you. You turned around, gun raised again. It sounded like something hard had hit something metal. The conversation was over once again and you were back. 

You slowly slipped back into the you that understood how to use this gun well. The rust was chipping off. You were a soldier again. Had you ever stopped? Had your life with Ethan been anything except a distraction from who you really were? Had you been pretending this whole time to be something you knew you could never have? 

You shoved the door open. 

Mia stood at the end of the room. There was a large pipe surrounded by grated walkways. She was facing you. Even though she was hidden by her dark hair, you recognized her instantly. She was swaying a bit, twitching. 

“Mia,” you prodded. Her neck twitched. You saw an eye peek from behind her hair. “Mia, please put your hands in the air.” She didn’t make any movement, indicating that this was the Mia that took your boyfriend's hand off. Your face hardened as you approached her, gun raised, wondering if Ethan was already dead. “Mia.” 

She lunged at you without saying anything. She threw no insults, she didn’t bother to pretend. She just lunged. You shot at her but it only momentarily stopped her. It was like you had thrown a ball at her shoulder instead of a bullet. You kept shooting, even though it was doing effectively nothing. She reached you, hands on your sides with inhuman strength. 

You could hear Chris moving. You had never been more glad you had called him. You struggled with Mia, her snarls biting at air. You kicked her, you scratched at her, you used everything you could remember from training. 

She was thrown off you. 

You scurried away, backing away. You grabbed your gun which you had lost in the scuffle. You aimed it well, hitting her head in a clean shot. It went through her eye and out the other side. She stumbled. 

Someone was picking you up. You grabbed them, allowing them to help you to your feet. You recognized Chris as you stood against him, still shooting at her until the clip was empty. Your breathing was ragged and angry and worried. 

She fell to the ground. 

You knew she wouldn’t be down long. You had to leave. You had to lock her in this room and burn the place down. 

Chris did the thinking for you. He had your arm in his hand, dragging you past her and out of the room. He shut the door behind him, pushing down on the handle. He broke it. 

You stared at the clouded window and felt a pang of guilt mixed with anger. She was the reason you were here. Now she was going to die, infested by a virus that wasn’t her. 

You were still holding on to Chris. You might’ve stopped for a moment but now your hand was back on his arm, your brain blurry with thoughts. He looked down at you, eyes meeting. 

“Are you okay?” 

You didn’t think about kissing him. You just did it. 

Your lips were on his and it felt like home. It felt like you had never left, like you had kissed him yesterday and you would kiss him tomorrow. It was filled with the emotion of every single year you had been apart, by everytime you wondered if he was dead in a ditch, everytime you got drunk and swore not to think about him. 

His strong hands were so gentle when they held you. 

Though passionate, the kiss was short lasting. 

You pulled away and your eyes stayed shut for a moment, pretending you were home with him, like you had never left. Then they were open again and the nightmare remained. 

There was no regret in his eyes. There was no regret in yours. It was a mutual feeling, broken only by the duties of soldiers who had loved each other for a little too long. The bucket had overfilled and tipped over. 

“We have to find Ethan,” he reminded you. 

Ethan.

Guilt hit you like a truck. He could be dead. You looked forward, giving no other words to justify or break what had just happened. Chris let you be, let the kiss hang in the air. 

-

Ethan was not far. Chris had called for backup when you entered the ship and his friends arrived just in time. You helped Ethan finish off Eveline and were shot out of the ship, landing hard back in the outside world. Chris’s people carried you away in a helicopter as the nightmare of the Baker house erupted in flames. What had been a horror was now nothing but a burnt part of the map, something people would merely whisper about. 

Chris brought you back to where the BSAA had set up camp. 

You had a hand in Ethan’s. He looked exhausted. There was something off about the look in his eyes but you couldn’t place it and you didn’t feel like asking him about it. Questions like that came later, when you were less tired and more hydrated. 

“I’m sorry I lost the cars,” he muttered. He was sitting on the makeshift hospital bed. There was no one else there. People had gone to try and find Lucas, who had been lost in the fire and not confirmed dead. You were sitting in a chair beside him, in silence. 

“It’s okay,” you whispered. “I’m sorry about Mia.” He took a deep breath. He did not tell you it was okay. 

“We’re gonna bring in the best medical help,” Chris explained. He watched as Ethan’s hand left yours. “Doctors are coming in right now to look you both over.”

“What about you?” you questioned. “You were in there, just the same as me.” 

“I’ll get looked at. I have to go with my team back in and find Lucus.” Your jaw hardened. 

“The work doesn’t end,” Ethan observed. He understood why you left. 

“By yourself?” you questioned. 

“I’m a big boy,” he promised you. You purse your lips, glancing at Ethan. You had no idea the world was this bad. You had no idea it had gotten so much worse since you left the job. 

“Let me go with you.” He shook his head. 

“Absolutely not.”

“No.” Him and Ethan spoke over each other. You gave Ethan a look. 

There was something in your eyes that he didn’t recognize. He wondered if he had lost you the second he left your house without telling you. Had that been the breaking point in your relationship? Did relationships survive things like this? 

Yours and Chris’s did, Ethan thought. You and Chris slipped back into each other like puzzle pieces. It was like no time had passed. No kind of ill will had come between the two of you, from the looks of it right then. Ethan wanted to desperately grab your hand, beg you to stay with him, tell you that he couldn’t afford to lose both you and Mia. Instead he watched your face as you looked at Chris. 

“I’m a big girl Chris.” 

“You’ve been out of the game for too long. You can’t just jump back in like this.”

“I just did. I have knowledge of the interior, we were just there Chris. It would be smarter to bring me.” Chris and you stared at each other with looks that Ethan could be envious of. Challenging, protective, loving. “Let me go back. Let me back in.” 

This life was like a drug. You could be gone forever but the second you could come back it was too addictive to stay away from. You stood up. 

“You’re the captain now hm? You tell them I can help. You know I can help.” You walked up to him. 

“I almost lost you back there.” He didn’t specify that it was the fight with Mia that had him particularly worried but you knew it was. You knew that he was also thinking about the kiss that happened right afterwards. 

It hadn’t left your mind. 

“Chris I’ll find my way back here either way,” you muttered. “There’s no use in trying to stop me.” 

If Ethan wasn’t there he would’ve kissed you. Instead he dipped his head. 

“Talk to your boyfriend about it.” You looked back at Ethan. Chris left the tent. You were left alone together for the first time since before the whole ordeal. Conflicted, you walked back to him. 

“Go,” he said, voice strong.

“Huh?” Ethan’s face was soft and understanding. 

“Go.” There was a beat of silence as you stared at him, trying to read his expression. He had just been through everything and was letting you go? “I know why you left this. But this is your life, isn’t it?” Your face scrunched into a hurt expression. 

“Not necessarily-”

“The only reason you left is because you wanted to prove a point to him. You proved your point.” 

“Do you want me to go?”

“No,” he said quickly. “I want to go home. I want to take you with me. But I don’t think that’s what you want and that’s okay.” 

“Ethan-”

“It’s not what you want, right?” You remained quiet. You couldn’t argue with that. He was right. You wanted to stay here. You wanted to get back into a fight you had once been so passionate about. He nodded once. You weren’t sure if he was numb or in complete control. “Exactly.” He grabbed your hand. “I dragged you back into this the second I believed that email.” 

“But the house,” you whispered. 

“We’ll figure it out. Just go. Please.” You nodded curtly. 

“Okay,” you breathed. He wouldn't look at you. You got up slowly, wondering if this was really happening. You tried to tell yourself doing it now was for the best. This is the only outcome that would’ve made any sense. 

You left the tent.

“Oh shit.” You looked up. You were met with John Perlman, someone you used to work with. He was older now but had the same slanted smile. “The rumors are true.” 

“Perlman,” you breathed, laughing a bit. 

“How are you doin girl?” 

“I’m okay,” you said and you meant it. You were alright. You were gonna be alright. 

“I hear you’re going back to the tunnels with the boss,” he observed. “You back in it?” Your eyes searched for Chris. You found him in front of a different tent, grabbing a box of things. 

“I guess so.” “He kept all your things when you left,” Perlman explained. “I’m sure he’s still got ‘em. It’s nice to have you back.” He pat your back before walking past you. The short conversation ended. Chris approached you with the box.

“Well?” he asked. 

“I’m ready Cap.” He nodded once and then handed you what he was holding. You looked down in it. The Dragoon you had used for years sat at the top of the box. “You kept all this?” 

“Just in case.”

“You broke up with me, you know that?” you looked back up at him. 

“If you’re gonna be in this I’d rather you be in this with me.” He gave you a curt nod. “We had out in 15.” 

He started to walk away. 

“Wait! Wait Chris,” you called. You put the box down by your feet. He turned around just in time for you to throw your arms around him. You kissed him again, this time like you weren’t about to die. He held you tightly to him, comfortably. 

He’d be okay. You would be okay.

[blueflipflops]

God I love how you describe the stress and tired weariness of Odysseus. The frustration and anger and grief of Helen. Both of their guilts oh my. Its very delicious i love it. Oh and the flow. So steady and reeling in those emotions. What a great story teller. Oh there it is. The anger. Oh, tell her Odysseus. That's what I need more to see. The anger and frustration from 10 long years in a war he didn't even want to be part with. Like oh my god i forgot his son was literally just born when he was ordered to bring his men to war. God, 10 years. 10 years without being able to push back and when they finally able to break through Helen just had to call him cruel? Oh boy... she's not wrong but boy are they in bind. Neither wanted any of this. Oh I love how you play the outside pov of Odysseus' reputation. 'Sacker of Cities' must hurt. Oh i forgot they were IN LAWS lol how could I forget Penelope was a Spartan?

'Infants no older that he was...' omfg the CHILLS. I'm thankful Helen didn't ask omg i don't know how to react to that pls don't ask. Whether it was Odysseus or Neoptolemus, it would never be easy to hear that. Least of all from Odysseus if it was him who did it.

Oh I loved it! Love how Odyssues looked over his shoulder when Helen talked about gods playing games with mortals. So subtle so descrete but really grabbed my attention. Ah the burden of being 'blessed' by a god's attention. So alike yet different. The one who started the war and the one who ended it. Both with blood of many on their hands. The titles that mean so much more. The begrudging respect and understanding between the two that no one wouldunderstand. The guilt and pent up frustrations (because 10 YEARS ! They spent 10 years there—) is so delisciously well written escpecially the slow steady pacing that emphasizes these emotions i love it!

Although I have a few questions, if you don't mind haha, so uh... In the Odyssey there was a part where Telemachus visited Melaneus and Helen then Melaneus started telling stories on how Helen like, did something on the night before they ambushed outta that horse. One where she knocked(?) On the horse and started mimicking the soldier's wives voices telling them to go out. Saying that the soldiers would've gone out early if it wasn't for Odysseus' warning. What's your perspective on that? Because its a really interesting pov to pair up with the fic. Although theres a possibility of that just being a case of unreliable narrator on Melaneus' part

There was also a part (Although I don't quite remember if it was actually part of the story or not) I think where Odysseus was able to talk to Helen BEFORE the Horse disguised as a beggar or something. Telling her the plan. Yet following up with the scene of her goading the soldiers to come out when she's with her new husband. (guy after paris i forgot his name lol) Which also makes this fic even more delicious to read with that interaction in mind.

Oh btw reading this reminds me, did you think Helen actually fell in love with paris that she ran away with him OR was it like Divine Intervention where Aphrodite messed her mind. I know in this one shot Helen said her mind was played with by the gods but i am curious on what your stance is on it because a lot of people are arguing wheter or not she did this of her own accord because she was young and stupid. But i think the latter is just infinitely more interesting in the narrative pov but also gives her some sort of say and control over herself and actions that the bards of old would often try to silence out of female characters rather than just a stereotypical stupid lovesick girl trope. Makes her more than a damsel in distress, waiting to be saved.

@prompted-wordsmith

This is for you because your small story was amazing so I want to create one in return! And since you want Helen to speak up more here is a little interaction pre-departure from Troy between Helen and Odysseus because why not!

The city hadn't yet stopped smoking from the night of massacre. Helen feared it never would. The smell of burning wood and asbestos was sticking on her clothes and hair; bitter reminder of the events of the night before. Helen didn't want even to think of the lingering smell of blood; metal and water that she had touched. It was as if everything was red now; hands and heart and bloodshot eyes. She hadn't slept that night or the night after it. She feared she never would again.

She could still feel that this was partially her fault; both the beginning and the end of it. She knew the Horse was a farse; a well-staged plan. She chose not to alert the alarm. She had chosen her side once more. And now women and children and men at Troy were laying down dead or worse. She remembered seeing Andromache being dragged out of the city in chains along with other women. They were to be sold as slaves or given as prices to the kings of the Acheans. The once proud queen was now crying woefully; mourning her husband who was killed. She had been dragged out of her husband's tomb where she went to seek sanctuary. That was the ultimate hubris along with her father-in-law Priam who she heard from a conversation had been slain upon the altar he hoped would grand him his life. She heard it was Neoptolemus, the young man who carried the blood of Achilles in his veins and apparently his rage and temper. Who would have known that a child like that could be so cruel and blasphemous? So full of rage? Helen could not see her infant son in her arms as she was taken away. She didn't even dare to ask. For a brief second Andromache raised her head and her honey eyes stuck within her blue ones. The look was almost accusatory as the tears had given her face reddish lines. Or perhaps it was the self inflicted scratches that she had made in her woe. That second lasted longer than it should be before the queen was dragged away.

"That could have been me..." she thought

However her position was not much different. As she was standing at the peer, she was always guarded by a soldier; obviously her husband wanted both to protect her but also obviously he didn't trust her. Helen couldn't say she blamed him but it still hurt. She was seeing Menelaus talking to Odysseus, sorting out the details. Helen watched her husband and her former fiance in wonder. Indeed how strange fate was! How different the two men were! She could tell Menelaus's auburn hair from kilometers away as they were held together by a band around his head. He was well built and strong, seemed dressed in sunlight. Odysseus next to him seemed the opposite. He wasn't tall. He was barely average, a few decent inches shorter than her husband and a good head shorter than her brother-in-law however he seemed wider in shoulder and his chest resembled a wall dressed in a coat of dark curly hair. His head was adorned with black hair that seemed golden under the setting sun: bushy and curly like a ram held together by various little bands that held his curls tamed under his leather headband. His beard was equally bushy and shaggy even if he had obviously tried to make himself more presentable from the night before. His onyx eyes were bottomless holes. The man seemed tired; prematurely aged that day. Helen knew that he had a similar burden to bare with her. How strange indeed, she thought. The man seemed like coming from the night. And yet he seemed darker now; his shoulders seemed heavier than before.

"Take her home safely"

Odysseus's voice drew her out of her daydream. His voice was hoarse and tired. He seemed aged before his years. Helen remembered again the flamboyant young man that was supposed to court her. Sure his eyes filled with premature wisdom and intelligence gave him an aura of age but she could remember his laughter and smile seemed those of a teenager as if trying to persuade people of his actual age. Now that teen was gone. He was a man now; long past that first youth; a Sacker of Cities.

"Otherwise all this would have been for nothing!"

The timbre in his voice; the seer accusation, hurt her much more than anything besides her husband's distrust. No, at least Odysseus...the wise and prudent Odysseus should understand. Menelaus nodded to his loyal friend and shot her with yet another look. Helen couldn't decide if it was angry or closer to sad. As he walked away she turned again to look at Odysseus. The man barely saw her with the corner of his eye but spoke nothing. Helen couldn't bare the silence any longer.

"Odysseus..." she finally spoke, "Why? How can you be so cruel?"

"Cruel?" His voice was full of disbelief, of anger that made his chest rise like the tide

He turned to her walking like a lion ready to pounce. Helen stood her ground though. She stuck her ocean blue eyes deeply within his black ones.

"Cruel?" He repeated, "I've lost my son's first 10 years because of this war!"

"This war wasn't my choice!" Helen felt the need to defend herself against him.

"It commensed because of you!" The accusation was finally spoken outloud, "Menelaus started this because of you!"

"I didn't know he-..."

"YES YOU DID!" Odysseus finally bellowed making her take a step back, "yes you did...you just didn't think!"

He turned her back at her. He was about to leave but he didn't seem done yet.

"The blood of many brave Acheans is on your hands..."

That was way too much. Odysseus should know better than hurt her this way! This was unfair even if spoken through pain and anger. Bravely Helen held back the tears that burnt her eyes. He wouldn't see her weep!

"If I told you..." she began with the best voice she could master, "...that gods play games with us all the time...that they cloud our judgment... Would you believe me?"

Odysseus looked over his shoulder but spoke nothing.

"You of all people should understand" Helen whispered

"What does it matter what I'd believe?"

"It matters to me!" Helen replied firmly. "Please, Odysseus...at least you...at least you should believe me..."

Odysseus seemed ready to reply but the last minute he stopped himself. He chose silence; cruel and cold silence. He began walking away. Two angry tears ran down her white, rosy cheeks. No she couldn't leave it this way!

"ODYSSEUS!" She yelled after him, "you're a hypocrite!"

That stopped him to his tracks as he turned around.

"What?" He asked almost scandalized

Helen was shivering from top to bottom and her knuckles turned white from clenching them too hard.

"Do you think you're any better, Sacker of cities?!" The last one was spat like an insult like a curse, "do you think your hands are clean? You say that the war commensed because of me! That so many Greeks died because of me! Then what about you, Odysseus? What about all the Trojans killed in the city in that bloodbath?! What about all these women and children that are now piled up to be burnt or eaten by dogs and vultures? Who is to answer for THOSE Odysseus?"

Odysseus of Ithaca was frozen in place, shaking in anger but so was she. And she wouldn't be stopped now. She was Helen of Sparta, Helen of Troy, Helen the daughter of Zeus!

"It was your plan, your scheme that got the Greeks inside the holy city of Troy! It was your idea that gave them the way to sack it!"

Odysseus, the eloquent man seemed now unable to respond. He seemed stripped out of his furious anger although some of it was burning inside. Instead he managed to utter

"This massacre wasn't my choice..."

A sound between humorless and mocking laughter and cry came out of her mouth.

"Oh so you tell me you didn't know? You didn't know that the Greeks who were away from their homes, wives and children wouldn't unleash all their piled hatred? Didn't you know they would burn the city that kept them away from them to the ground so it wouldn't rise again?"

He didn't respond. Helen knew he couldn't.

"You say the blood of the Greeks is on my hands. Then the blood of Trojans is on yours!"

Odysseus seemed to have trouble breathing. She had hurt him and she knew it. Perhaps she had simply voiced everything he had in his mind all those days. She could remember how tenderly he spoke of his wife and son. Her husband used to say he identified himself as father of Telemachus not son of Laërtes. Women and children...his son and wife... He seemed ready to either lash at her or leave. However as always The Man of Many Ways sighed and did the unexpected; he spoke again.

"It doesn't matter whether I believe you or not, you know. What it matters is if he does"

Helen took a glance towards Menelaus from a distance. He was preparing the ship. She sighed and returned her gaze towards the man they called "equal to gods".

"But do you?"

"Yes" he finally admitted, "yes I believe you"

Helen sighed in relief. It was her thanking to him

"There is fate between us, Helen..." Odysseus said hoarsely.

Helen didn't need to see his face behind his wide back to read his expression.

"Yes" she replied, "you could have been my husband"

"I am glad that I'm not"

That husky whisper made her look up in wonder. She didn't expect that answer.

"You don't deserve me" the son of Laërtes said, "and I don't deserve you"

He barely looked at her again over his large shoulder.

"I see now why my cousin loved you" whispered she

"And I see why he loved you." Replied Odysseus, "why he started a war for you. Not for his pride; for you. You were indeed worth it..."

He looked at her again for the first time for a while.

"You and I have both blood on our hands" he said grimly, "you, the starter of war, hold the blood of many brave Acheans upon you...while I, the one who ended it, the Sacker of Cities, will have to live for the rest of my life carrying the deaths of Trojans upon me... Women and children..."

He covered his face with his large hand and turned around. He was sobbing.

"Women and children..." he whispered again, "Penelope...my sweet Telemachus...children... infants no older than he was..."

Helen was afraid to ask. She didn't want to know. She had met enough horror for a lifetime. She wanted to move on. She wanted to forget.

"Get home safely, Odysseus" she wished to him, "Husband to Penelope...father to Telemachus. I hope you will get what you wished for..."

"You too, Helen, kissed by the sun like golden Aphrodite...daughter of Zeus. Farewell Queen of Sparta..."

He walked away. Helen heard his voice yelling orders to his men like the expert sailor he was. Helen sighed and smiled so slightly. The title he used...was addressed to her. Odysseus had recognized her admitted her but also signaled her, her fate. She knew now she had a second chance to rectify everything; first for herself and next for everyone else.

The journey had come to an end. A new one was about to begin.

Okay guys I am so sorry I have no idea why or how but yeah...this... I hope you liked it.

[fnaf-a-palooza]

Ever since.. 7 hours ago when I saw Mark’s first episode of fnaf security breach, i’ve now fallen in love with sun and moon. They’re psychotic, I love it. I want yandere hcs for both of them seperately or it can be like in the games where they kinda switch around.

Oh anon BIG SAME!! I just love the vibes the two give off (love me some silly but slightly unhinged characters) and I've mentioned this on my yandere blog, but Kellen killed it with the voice! I'll be doing the two separately and as one for this! There was also another request for just Sunnydrop but sfw and spicy hcs but I will write those out in another post. Hope you all enjoy!

Warning: Yandere Themes!

Sunnydrop

• An extremely clingy yandere to the max. He's always vying for your attention because he love you oh so much! Whether it be calling out to you in order to show you something or, unfortunately, forcefully  dragging you around. Sunny only does the latter when nothing else is working for him. It's difficult to find time for yourself, honestly and more so when he refuses to be away from you for more than a few minutes. Literally attached to the hip with you.

• That being said, he loves physical affection! He takes any chance to hold, squeeze, tap, and just any form of touch when it comes to you. Personal boundaries,,, is something he tends to forget exist so there is that to worry about. You would have to remind him of such if you ever grow uncomfortable, which saddens him but he doesn't want to drive you away. That is one of his biggest fears; practically will become hysterical if that outcome were to prove his fears true.

• Because of this, he gets antsy when you hang out with others. He's truly holding back from shoving himself into the conversation and diverting you away from those people. He does get impulsive during these moments but he sometimes will think things through and make up very valid excuses to get your attention steer towards him at least. Slight chance he might manipulate/guilt trip you into spending more time with you. And example of his guilt tripping would be him crying to you that everyone seems to dislike him because of how he is and that you are the few genuine people to care for him. Will you leave him too? Sunnydrop does feel bad about it, but the results make him less guilty about it all.

• Sunnydrop has the tendency to take up all your time and distract you, especially if it's from people you know. If it's a hobby you enjoy, he'll definitely want to engage in it with you! He loves everything you do and would love it even more to learn your likes and dislikes to get closer to you. Absolutely, and unfortunately for you, will take certain actions/words the wrong way.

Moondrop

• Just as suffocating as Sunnydrop,,, but more of a controlling yandere. Like his counterpart, he is someone who follows the rules and wants them to be followed, but in contrast he is more forceful with them. Moondrop is all of Sunnydrop's pent up aggressions and emotions that he'd rather hide from you as he sees them as unpleasant.

• For Moondrop, it takes some time to gain feelings for you, but when it does happen you'll always have the feeling someone is watching you. In his own way, he's looking after you by making sure no one else tries to steal you from him. Basically, Moondrop is very possessive and it's only worse with his aggressive behavior. He doesn't like when people seem to be getting too close and will drive them away, maybe even warding them off enough for them to completely avoid you.

• Honestly though, he likes that idea; the fact that if you see that others are avoiding you may draw you to him. Moondrop is the type of yandere, even though acting hostile, thinks things through a little more than Sunnydrop does. He thinks of ways to get the chance to swipe you away and finally have you by his side. One method would be that he could make you pity him for how people perceive him as or another would be he simply just drives everyone away from you as said before. Either way, he's certainly a manipulative yandere with how crafty he is.

• In his mind, Moondrop 100% believes he knows what's best for you. Should you disagree... Well that just earns you a punishment for even trying to question things. Of course you need him! Why else would he have put so much effort into taking you? Obviously because you're meant to be taken care of and do not worry; he'll take good care of you. Now, since he is a rule enforcer, Moondrop has his own set of regulations for you to follow. Many of them, of course, would involve you not leaving his side or keeping away from others. Breaking the rules results in a penalty and you must atone for it since it's only fair. Rule breakers have to learn a lesson from their mistakes.

Sunnydrop/Moondrop

• Oh boy. Sunnydrop is fearful of Moondrop because he absolutely knows how he acts and again, he finds him unpleasant to deal with. Sunny would know after hearing the complaints from parents and employees. Which is why he is very very stern with his rule to keep the lights on with you. The two semi get along but they obviously have conflicts here and there when it comes to their objectives/methods.

• Moondrop on the other hand believes the other half is too soft and hesitant. Then there's also the fact that he deems Sunny too lenient with people/rules and thinks everyone will believe him as a pushover; something he absolutely hates. How can others know that you are theirs if he isn't truly pushing that fact at them? Those people need to be taught a lesson. He definitely knows what Sunnydrop is doing when he hasn't gotten a chance to hang out with you, which angers him immensely. He's tired of being casted to the side like he doesn't exist.

• Honestly, if there is a chance that the two come to an agreement, it's all over for you... The two have their own advantages and disadvantages, but equally are menaces in their own right. While Sunnydrop can keep you from ever leaving, Moondrop can make sure others steer clear. Trying to escape from them is anxiety inducing as well,,, though that is more so if Moon is the one chasing after you. Sunny will try to convince him to not be too harsh on you, but Moon can't promise much when he sees that being lenient won't teach you anything. You have to take full responsibility for your actions. If Sunnydrop is the one chasing you, he's more likely to make up excuses for your attempts to leave and blames himself sometimes too; promising he'll do better.

[theepisceswriter]

Sending nudes/sexting w/ JJK characters (Nanami, Toji, Gojo, Mei Mei)

Synopsis: Do y’all need one fr? I think the title is self explanatory

TW: mature things obviously, GN!reader, typos like always, nothing outside or masturbation and nudes really, 18+, MINORS DNI!

NANAMI

Yeah, yeah you miss Nanami’s cuddles, kisses, hugs, and all that soft shit when you spend the whole day without him because of his work schedule, but you also miss that long schlong that’s attached to him. Work has given him such a hectic schedule that sometimes you go a week without having any sex and it drives you crazy and Nanami might not show it, but it drives him crazy as hell too. He’s just praying for an off day so he can get that sweet release from you that he needs.

Though sexting is not the same as physical sex, any form of sexual attention from him is needed. So, bravely one day you decided to send him a picture of you in nothing but one of his button ups barely covering your body while he’s at work. To be fair, you did wait until a time when you knew he usually wasn’t busy and the office was nearly empty.

When I tell you this photo has him blushing like a school girl and horny immediately; he forgets how to breathe for a good two minutes and it takes the sound of someone’s footsteps to bring him back to reality and remember the setting he was in. 

You see, sexting really isn’t Nanami’s cup of tea. He’s big on intimacy and physical touch and sexting hardly fulfills any of his desires. He’d much rather have you in front of him in person. You see those three little lines pop up thinking he’s going to describe to you in detail what he’s going to do to you once he gets off and how much he’s been feening for you too, but no! Instead, all you get is a text that reads “On my way.”

Nanami isn’t the type to call off of work or leave early, but it’s from that picture that he realizes how wanting you must be for him and he can’t help but feel a twinge of guilt, but also realize just how bad he’s been wanting you. The drive home for him is 30 minutes? He’s making it home in like 10, knuckles gripping the wheel and all as he thinks about rushing home to you and your body.

He doesn’t even greet you when he comes in the house. Immediately opting to connect his lips to yours to initiate the long night between you two that’s going to unfold.

“My poor baby. I’ve been so neglectful to you lately, haven’t I? I’m sorry, I’m going to make it up to you so good tonight. Lay back and let me take care of you tonight.” And take care of you is exactly what he does.

TOJI

You could text Toji for hours on end, tell him your house got burned down and you now live in Bikini Bottom with Sponge-bob, and he still wouldn’t budge. He doesn’t even have to be out doing a job, if he doesn’t see it as urgent urgent then he’s getting back to you in like 2-3 business days minimum.

Let you send him a text that’s like “Currently in bed thinking about you with my hand between my thighs because I haven’t seen you all day.” And all of a sudden his fingers are moving fast like lightening as he texts you back. 

Most likely going to respond with something like “I’ll show you mins if you show me yours” Because that man is a menace that should be locked up. You don’t even have to send one for real though because three minutes later your phone is pinging with a dick pic from him; two bottles resting on dick just to show how big it is because he’s a show off. Might even send you a video of him moving it without his hands in return for some soapy titty pics.

Nudes of you make him go absolutely feral and has him in the bed huffing and puffing as he uses his hands to recreate the feeling of you, but you would never know that because he responds with shit like “So sexy looking”

He’s kinda ass at sexting lowkey.

He’s not too big on dirty talk while sexting, pictures and videos say everything that he needs to, but guarantee that he brings it up once the two of you are finally able to meet up in person. “So you said you were going to do what now to me?” “Sre we going to do what we talked about in those messages or whatr?” Of course, he holds you to your word and the two of you indeed do what you said over text. 

GOJO

You already knew what the night was going to be like as soon as you got that “U up?” Text from Gojo. Not only was it almost 1 in the morning, but the two of you hadn’t seen each other physically in almost a month and you could just hear the desperation in his voice from when he had called you earlier talking about how much he missed you; him being in front of others being the only thing stopping him from going into great detail about what exactly he missed.

You didn’t even need to reply to him. The fact that you had read it was enough confirmation for him and minutes later you were getting sent a video with his dick as his thumbnail, just out and erect with his hand at the base of it and some lubricant covering it to make it look shiny and presentable.

“Fuck, y/n. You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about you bouncing up and down on my cock all month long. I need you so bad right now.” The sweet moans of your name leaving his mouth and the bucking of his hips into his hands once you pressed play on the video were enough to get you in the mood as well. Quickly you’re stripping your clothes off and sending him videos of you in all types of angles, but that’s not enough for him.

Next thing you know he’s facetiming you and the two of you are on the phone having a mutual masturbation session. The sight of each of you two getting off to each other getting off was enough to make both of you cum more than once. It takes him going completely soft and finally getting all that pent up sexual tension out of him to finally hang up.

MEI MEI

Someone get this woman an only fans account because the horny content she sends you should not be free. When I say this woman puts work into the videos and pictures she sends to you, I mean it.

I’m talking a ring light set up to make her angles look appeasing, special lingerie just for pictures to take to send to you, and a phone with amazing quality. She goes all out for you like a professional because she wants you to use them more than once, she wants to make some quality spank bank material for you so you wont even think about going on twitter again when you’re horny.

Tell me shouldn’t have a very popular OnlyFans. You can’t cause you’d be lying to yourself.

She’s such a big tease. She’d send you a picture of her titties all oiled up in a bikini that’s barely covering anything but her nipples along with a text message that’s like “They miss you );” .....While you’re at work because she’s just such a tease like that.

Glances inside of her underwear, boomerangs of her shaking her ass for you, and quick glimpses of her nipple; anything but giving you the real thing. Her whole objective with nudes is to make you want her more and show you what you’re missing out on by not being with her in the moment.

It’s not until you’re sending pictures and videos of yourself begging you to help her out that she finally does and it’s still not with pictures or videos in return ! Instead, she’ll text you through your orgasm in vivid description of what she wants to do to you and bring up past sexual experiences like, “Remember that time when we I picked you up from work and we couldn’t wait until we went home so we fucked right there in the backseat of the car?”

Big on helping you visualize things, so honestly you don’t even need her to go all out.

[miscxllany]

It’s something no one prepares you for, the reality of losing a child. No one knows what it’s like when it happens either. They can share their sympathies, give their condolences and best wishes but none of it is true understanding of the loss. None of it can be fully comprehended by someone who hasn’t gone through it themselves. The way it feels to have to walk into a morgue, identifying the body of your child so he can finally be laid to rest is a feeling no parent in the world should have to go through. What was the final count again? Twenty-two stab wounds, one slit throat and three gunshot wounds. Talk about overkill. No way Daphne would ever forget about that, no way she could erase the memory of seeing the aftermath either.

Admittedly, they had done a nice job of covering it all up. He looked peaceful, the same old Richie she knew and loved. But, that wouldn't take away from the horrors she had seen just a few days prior. The outpouring of love in that room, the stories everyone shared and the speeches made helped soften the blow a little. At least there was that, right? If only it helped rid her of the guilt she felt upon seeing Hugh and Hughie. There was always a possibility that they'd show up, she had reached out to Hugh in the first place about the whole situation. Both he and Hughie had a right to be here, to mourn the loss of child and brother.

Daphne had caught a glimpse of them early on, keeping to herself. Why sour this day any more than it already was by approaching? It was best everyone kept to themselves, right? The viewing itself went off without a hitch, peaceful yet sad. The burial was almost the same. Chestnut hues scan over the casket for a final time, a sigh escaping the woman before she says her final goodbyes. It's nice, this time alone with him. She turns to leave, to rejoin the family she built for herself as someone grabs her arm. Startled, her head whips around to see who it was. Hughie, it was Hughie. They hadn't spoken in nearly twenty-two years, not since the day she left. Surely, there was bound to be pent up emotions. Someone was going to say something uncalled for, right?

It's to be expected, and yet... she isn't at all prepared for what comes out of his mouth. ❛ You think this is what I wanted? Seriously, Hughie? I never wanted this. ❜ There's a dull ache, seeing Richie's face again. But then again, it isn't Richie's face, is it? Hughie has just as much claim to it as her other son did. ❛ How could you even think that? ❜

semi-plotted starter | @miscxllany

At some point, his parents ages became permenantly stuck at whatever they had been during Hughie's childhood. He knew that his dad was not in his late thirties and yet it was his go to answer, not fifty four. He knew that his mom was not in her late twenties; yet that was how he he still saw her. Like the first time you see an actor in a film, they become forever memorialised at the age they starred in it.

Looking at his mom now, it was clear that she was not in her twenties. It was weird, seeing her older without being privy to the aging process. He hadn't got to see her get older the way he had his dad. He hadn't got to see Richie get older either, but that was a bit different. They had the same face. In a way they couldn’t not grow up together; not any more though.

Hughie looked down at his brother’s grave, now being arduously filled. He turned and saw that the people milling around were turning to leave, including his mom. Spurred on by a bravery he rarely possessed, Hughie went over to her, lightly taking her arm to grab her attention.

“Hey.” His voice was brittle, on the verge of cracking. There’s a moment where he almost loses his nerve, falters, but then Hughie finds voice. “Well, you got what you wanted. We’ll always be separated now. And you’re never gonna have to see me again either, so it’s a win-win right?”

[bubbleteaimagines]

End Up Here

Porco Galliard Oneshot

Summary: How did you end up in your captors bed of all places, contemplating on staying?

Pairings: Porco Galliard x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Smut, fingering, light spanking and hair pulling, creampie, unprotected sex (please wrap it every man is not porco)

how did this happen? you wonder, as his rough hands, calloused from war and stained with the blood of countless enemies, roam over your body.

how did i end up here? you think, while his lips, plump and puffy, lean down to capture your own. they taste sweet, a stark contrast from how he actually was.

he hated you, didn’t he? and you hated him. at least, that’s how it had been for months, with you locked up in a marley jail cell.

after the attack on liberio, you had been one of the survey corps members to miss the plane and ended up stuck in marley. after that, you were taken as a prisoner of war and left in the custody of the warriors, or what was left of them.

with zeke being gone, reiner, pieck and porco had been the ones to look after you, questioning you for information and such.

of course, with reiner’s mission to paradis you already knew him. in fact, you thought it was absolutely hilarious how hypocritical he sounded while asking you why exactly you guys had attacked marley.

“i could ask you the same thing, reiner,” you had spat coldly, thinking back to that day seven years ago.

that was the only time you had ever seen reiner flinch, your glare causing his head to throb.

admittedly, before all of this, before all of the mess and the lies and the betrayal, you and reiner had actually been close once upon a time.

there was a time that you had idolized reiner, wanting to be just like the older boy. you wanted to be strong, you wanted to protect those around you.

you looked up to reiner as someone that was good, and the thought disgusted you.

how could you have idolized someone who caused so much destruction? someone who started a war with innocent people?

as you kissed porco back, your hands going to run through his hair, you supposed you did end up like your idol after all.

a hypocrite.

of course, you hadn’t always been that way. in the beginning, you truly did hate porco.

you hated the way he stalked around, glaring at you like you were the devil itself. you hated the way he talked, spitting insults left and right. but most of all, you hated how he wore that damn armband proudly, as if it made him any better than you.

you were the same, and porco hated you for constantly pointing it out. he hated the way you were so stubborn, never giving information but always having something to say nevertheless.

he hated the way you smirked, knowing they’d never get anything out of you but death. and most of all, he just hated how annoying you were.

for months, the two of you went back and forth like the enemies you were. glaring each other down, providing insults instead of answers.

honestly, who would have thought that one day you’d be beneath him, whimpering from his touch and moaning out his name as he left sloppy kisses down your neck?

you sure didn’t.

you were supposed to hate him.

but all that changed in a blink of an eye.

you don’t quite remember what it was, but one day you found yourself hating porco a little less than the day before. actually, you did remember. it was the one day you had seen porco show any emotion other than hatred. the one day of the year he just couldn’t bring himself to hate anyone, not even you.

his brother’s birthday.

you had watched, partially amazed, as porco lit twenty-three candles for marcel. even when he was on duty, he couldn’t forget to honor him.

when you had asked porco about it, genuinely curious, he told you his story and it was then that you saw him become more...human.

was that what it was? was that what lured you into his bed, lured you into melting at the way his honey eyes stared at you?

no.

there had been more after that.

after that day, after seeing that porco was in fact capable of human emotions, you decided to test him. would he show you some sympathy if he heard your own story? would he still think of you as a devil if he knew you guys weren’t all that different?

he didn’t.

after you told him about your own brother, about how he had been killed that day shiganshina fell, something inside porco softened.

perhaps it was guilt. perhaps it was actually sympathy that drove him to understand, but he did.

he understood you then. why you joined the survey corps, why you idolized someone like reiner. why you had attacked marley.

he understood it all.

he understood that it was all for him, all for your brother.

and then he began to understand that you guys weren’t all that different after all.

he often curses himself for that. for him, that was the starting point of it all. if he had just turned his back away, if he had just rolled his eyes and told you that he didn’t care about your pathetic life story, that it still made you no less than a devil, then maybe, just maybe, you wouldn’t be under him in that moment.

“porco...” a breathy moan left your lips as the boy teased you with his fingers, hovering right over your arousal just to torture you. he liked seeing you like this, an island devil flustered by him, begging him to please her any way he could. “please.”

“please what?” his smirk was cruel, tilting his head in mock confusion as if he didn’t already know what you wanted. “use your words babygirl.”

you groaned. you hated when he teased you, but you weren’t gonna get anything out of him any other way. “please just touch me already! i can’t take it anymore!”

your body was aching for him, months of pent up longing for him just begging to be released.

luckily, porco wasn’t that cruel.

not long after your request, he found himself obliging, quickly yanking off your soaked panties. a low groan escaped his throat as your sweet aroma filled the air, pussy gleaming in the moonlight.

“is this all for me babygirl?” he asks, taking a finger to rub against your wet folds.

a whimper leaves your lips at the sudden contact, your hips bucking up for more.

“y-yes,” you can barley contain your excitement as you nod eagerly, causing porco to smirk. “yes it’s all for you, pock.”

“good,” he looks satisfied and decides that you deserve some attention. gently, he spreads your legs and then those long fingers of his begin to sink into your tight cunt, filling you just how you liked it.

“fuck!” you threw your head back, squeezing your eyes shut as porco began to move.

“don’t come yet,” he teases, knowing just how fast he can make you come undone.

you lift your head up to glare at him, but the sudden addition of another finger makes your anger quickly fade away.

“o-okay,” you’re a stuttering mess under him and porco loves it.

“that’s it,” he cooes, bringing a hand up to play with your nipples as he finger-fucks you. “you love my fingers, don’t you baby?”

if you were in any other position then maybe porco would get answers. but you were too occupied; too focused on the pleasure and the way he filled you beautifully to even get a word out.

“you’re gonna cum, aren’t you?” porco accuses as he assaults that one sweet spot over and over again. he knows it— he can see it in the way your face is scrunching up and he can feel the way you’re clenching around him. so good, so tight, his cock begins to twitch in anticipation.

“i- yes,” you moan out weakly, your eyes beginning to roll back.

“good,” he smirks as he feels your body shaking. “cum for me, baby. let me taste that sweet pussy.”

to edge you on further — not like you needed it — porco bends down and immediately latches his mouth to your sensitive nub. he sucks sweetly on your pussy, eager for what’s to come as he pumps his fingers in and out of you viciously.

“porco,” you moan his name as the coil in your stomach begins to unravel. your legs shake, and pleasure clouds your every sense but that doesn’t mean porco is stopping. as you scream and moan out his name, desperately grabbing at his slicked-back hair, porco continues lapping at your pussy and pleasuring you until he feels satisfied.

once he is, he pulls away from your pussy and grins at the way you’re shaking underneath him, breathing heavily. honey-colored eyes lean over to meet your own and you can see they’re filled with absolute lust, your slick juices dribbling down his chin.

“on your knees,” he demands, no longer being able to take it. his cock is itching to be free, itching to be inside of you and porco feels like he’s about to burst.

“y-yes sir,” you nod slowly, your eyes still clouded over but you’ve got the right idea as you shakily turn over, turning your ass up and stuffing your face in the pillow.

“atta girl,” porco cooes with delight as your slick pussy gleams right in front of him, begging him to fill it with his cum.

“fuck,” he curses involuntarily as he moves to situate himself behind you. then, porco finally relieves himself from his pants and hisses as his cock springs free.

“you’re gonna take me so good baby,” he tells you, gently rubbing himself over your folds, just enough to tease you. “you ready?”

“yes,” you nod eagerly, wiggling your ass a little at him. this is the moment you’ve been waiting for all night— the opportunity to be stuffed with porco’s thick cock.

“good girl,” he praises you before finally settling himself at your entrance, reaching up to lighty smack your ass.

your hips buck a little at the sudden sting but then your body is completely relaxed as porco begins to push himself in, a moan leaving both of your lips.

“fuck!”

porco can’t believe how tight you are, even after his fingers. it feels like your pussy is sucking him in and he has to steady himself as he sinks in deeper.

“pock,” a whimper escapes your throat, your mouth dropping in an ‘o’ shape as he fills you deliciously. “fuck, baby— you feel so good.”

your pussy is throbbing, soft mewls leaving your lips as you involuntarily buck your hips for more. you can feel every moment from porco as he slides in until he’s buried at the hilt, stuffing you nice and full.

“haven’t even gotten started yet baby,” he grins, and then once he’s settled in he begins to pick up the pace.

porco was never a patient man, so it’s no surprise when he immediately starts to buck his hips into you, starting at a steady pace.

“fuck, pock,” his name is the only thing in your vocabulary as your eyes roll back again, a hazy smile on your face as porco fucks you just right. his strokes are deep, passionate, and he stretches you out in way that fills you with absolute pleasure.

“baby,” porco has a hard time controlling himself but he’s managing, playing with your bouncing tits and occasionally slapping your ass to distract himself. “you feel so good around me, you know what?”

“uhhh!” you gasp when he grabs your hair, forcing your back to arch even further and allowing him to go even deeper. fuck, this is just what he wanted, a smirk on his face as he watches your face become unintelligible.

“there we go,” porco chuckles as you begin to clench around him again. and god, if you don’t feel absolutely incredible. porco swears he’s in heaven right now, which is ironic because he’s fucking an island devil.

“that’s the spot, isn’t it?” he’s growing cockier by minute as he watches you begin to unfold underneath him.

gasps and moans reply to him instead of words, your hands going to grip anything you can find. subconsciously, porco begins to fuck you even faster and pulls your hair tighter.

“pock!”

he knows he’s got you on the ropes when you start explicitly moaning for him, begging for him to bring you to your release. your pussy is already dribbling with juices, the sheets beneath you stained but you want more. you want him and porco’s gonna give it to you.

“almost there sweetheart,” he promises, feeling himself on the verge of his own orgasm. and god, he can’t wait until he fills you up.

he knows that’s what you want, too, but he’s determined to get you there first. reaching down, porco rubs at your clit which only sends more pleasure rippling through you. he keeps his pace rough yet steady, abusing your g-spot over and over again before finally, you come undone.

a scream leaves your lips as you cream all over porco’s cock, arms and legs going limp. you see stars and porco has to physically hold you up. but he’s still fucking you though, still pleasuring you right up until the moment comes for his own release.

“fuck, y/n!”

your name falls from his lips like a prayer, porco screwing his eyes shut as he cums deep inside of your womb. and you can feel him— every inch of him as he stills and continues pumping you full of his cum, your pussy milking him until there’s nothing left.

“you’re the devil, baby,” porco says, out of breath as he slowly pulls out of you. there’s a trail of cum that dribbes down your leg as he does so, and porco smirks when he realizes he really did stuff you.

even then, you whine at the sudden loss, your pussy sore yet still aching for him.

you know you won’t be able to take another orgasm though, not like this. and so you settle for porco’s touch elsewhere, snuggling into him after he wipes you off and then holds you close to his chest.

“a devil you say?” you smile lazily, turning your body towards him to look him in his honey eyes.

“oh yes, the worst kind at that,” he smirks but you know he’s only joking. “using sex to lure me in.”

“how ironic, since i recall that it was you who wanted me in the first place,” you snort.

porco acts mocked surprised, but he knows its true. he’s the one that fell for you first, against all odds. and now...now he had you in his arms, resting comfortably but the future was still uncertain for you both.

“what will you...what will you do now?” he dares to ask, peering at you curiously. “will you go back to that island, or...?”

“i wasn’t aware i was allowed to leave,” you tell him honestly, looking down. gently though, porco raises your head up again.

“you know i wouldn’t keep you here against your will,” he says quietly, frowning. “if you wanna go back, i’ll...i’ll help you.”

it pains porco to say this and you can see it in his face. he doesn’t want you to go— but if going home was truly your desire then he’d make it happen.

“that’s the thing, though,” you tell him, slightly biting your lip. “i don’t...i don’t know if i do, not anymore.”

“what?” porco frowns. “b-but it’s...it’s your home, isn’t it? why wouldn’t you wanna go back? it’s not like you have any reason to stay.”

“i do now,” you say softly, looking at him through your lashes.

you wait a couple of seconds to get his reaction, and when you do, porco is undeniably shocked.

he can’t believe what he’s hearing. it’s almost too good to be true.

“you’d...you’d stay here, for me?” he asks incredulously, looking at you with wide eyes. “but why? you know we can’t— it’s forbidden for us to be together.”

“wouldn’t be the first time we broke the rules,” you chuckle softly, referencing your naked bodies and the fact that you weren’t even supposed to be out of your cell right now.

“that’s true,” porco muses, but he still continues. “you have your whole life back in paradis, though. staying in marley, staying with me, it’ll only bring you pain.”

it almost sounds like he’s trying to scare you away. like he wants you to go home, but you know that’s not the case. you know that all porco is saying is the truth. you were a prisoner in marley after all, you couldn’t be with him. but still...

“it’s better than being an entire ocean away from you,” you say, shaking your head. “waiting for you every night. wondering if i’ll ever see you again.”

“you know what this means, then? if you stay...” porco trails off.

“if i stay then i’m with you. one hundred percent, and we’ll find a way,” you promise him.

porco grins. “you’re always so stubborn,” he says affectionately, stroking your face. he remembers a time when he hated that about you, but now it’s one of his favorite traits. “i gotta say— having a secret rendezvous has always been on my goal-list.”

“oh,” you lightly punch his arm. “shut up. this is serious, pock.”

“i am,” he defends himself. “the war is over. the yeagerists are gone— i need something spicy in my life again.”

“god— you’re so stupid sometimes, you know that?” you giggle as porco grins, loving the way he can make you laugh.

“you’ve told me that on multiple occasions,” he says, “but i think this one just might be my favorite.”

“everything about this night is perfect,” you sigh, pressing your hand against his. “i never want it to end. especially not by going back to a jail cell.”

“hey...let’s just be grateful we ended up here,” porco says. “don’t think about tomorrow— just focus on the fact that we have tonight.”

“i think i can do that,” you smile softly. after all, how could you not?

you’re in the arms of the man that you fell for. comfortable and safe, even it’s only for a few hours.

it was strange, really, how the person you once hated the most became your reason to stay. but you supposed that destiny would always find a way, and if yours just so happened to be intertwined with porco’s then dammit you’d find a way, too.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Headcanon : Gai wants to grieve Neji, like hard vent about why he had to die because of Obito's rampage. But he always tried to maintain his positive persona in front of Lee and Tenten, and he doesn't want to talk about Obito's casualties to Kakashi because although Kakashi definitely will comfort him he knows it will makes Kakashi feels sad and guilty. So he went to his Jounin sensei, Akimichi Chouza who lost both of his close friends. After war Choza (and Choji) worked hard to comfort Shikamaru and Ino plus their mothers also support them as far as he can, then suddenly his former student came to him and like "let's have some drink, Sensei.."

I think it's interesting to see those bright bubbly teacher and student pair just get drunk in a seclude place and say "fuck positivity for a moment, we want to release some pent-up sadness."

The sake was finally starting to hit. A light buzz weaving around in Gai's brain making everything a bit more blurry. dismantling the filter he always kept so carefully tuned between his brain and his mouth.

the happy façade crumbled away slowly, leaving only bitterness and anger.

"I hate him," he muttered as he watched his Sensei filling their cups once more. "I don't think I have ever hated someone in my life."

"It's not a good feeling, hatred," Choza agreed. "but sometimes it's earned. I think this is one of those cases."

"It is." there's no doubt about that. Because of Obito countless people had died to a needless war. an idiotic, cruel dream that would destroy the world. Because of Obito, Neji would never get to live his life. He was just a memory that Gai could carry around with him, hoping somehow he was able to see the world he had fought for.

"Mmm," nudging the glass closer to Gai, Choza smiled. "Drink up."

Doing as he was told, Gai picked up the glass and threw the sake back. determined to forget about everything, if only for a few minutes.

"Does he still visit the cemetery?" setting the glass back down on the table, Gai sighed. "I'll take your lack of a response as a 'Yes'"

"I don't understand it," he admitted. "After everything that happened. Everything Obito did...why?"

Why, out of everyone they had lost in their lifetime, did Kakashi feel so much guilt over Obito? Why couldn't he understand that the man who died in the war was not the same as the teammate he had once known so long ago?

"Sometimes it's difficult," Choza answered him. "When you live a life hoping to make amends to someone you feel you failed, nothing can sour that image of them in your head. even the atrocities they commit."

"I guess," it still didn't make sense. Kakashi had been so determined to stop Obito in the war. To prevent him from winning at any cost. So why couldn't he move on?

Why was the ghost of a man so cruel still haunting Kakashi?

"We'll make up for it," focusing on his Sensei, Gai frowned. The words didn't make any sense in his brain. Make up for what? "For every moment Kakashi spends regretting actions he couldn't have prevented, wishing for a better outcome, we'll focus on the truth. The hatred."

"I don't want to live my life in hatred though, Sensei." he sounded like a child again saying that, but it was true. Hatred simply wasn't something Gai enjoyed being a part of his life.

"you don't have to live your life in hatred," his Sensei corrected him. "Think of it as Kakashi does. During the day you do everything you normal would. you smile, laugh, move forward. you live the life you were granted a second shot at to its fullest, enjoying every moment." that sounded more like something he would do. "But then in those moments where you miss Neji, remember why you miss him. Why him and so many others arn't here with us today."

"What will that do?"

"Nothing," Choza shrugged his shoulders. "It won't bring them back. it won't change anything. there's no material benefit. But there doesn't have to be."

every moment he missed his precious student. when he couldn't help but think about what Neji's life could have been like. the things he could be doing here and now.

Anger boiled inside of him at the thought.

"there," Choza poked his arm, smiling when he looked back at him. "I see it on your face. that anger you're feeling right now at a life snuffed out too early. Hold onto it."

"Why?"

"Because it's what he deserves." With a shrug of his shoulders, Choza poured them another glass of Sake. "because anger isn't logical or fun, but it's a part of us. Always ignoring it. Pushing it to the side and acting as if it doesn't exist...it's not good for us, Gai."

Thirty two years. that's how long Maito Gai had been alive. How long he had been the cheerful, hyperactive, always happy friend. Never allowing anger to live in his heart.

Never allowing anyone to earn his hatred.

"I hate him," he whispered once again, curling his hands into fists at the mere thought of Obito. "I hate him."

for taking Neji

For tkaing Shikaku-sensei and Inoichi-sensei.

For all of the death and destruction he caused in the name of a 'perfect dream world'

"But you know what sucks the most, sensei?"

"what is that?"

"I hate him the most, for living in Kakashi's mind as a hero."

[hpalways]

Surprises || Childe

a/n: i swear i’ll get to the requests soon akjdhfjfj sorry for the wait dudes. 

BUT YEAHHHHHH ITS CHILDES BIRTHDAY I LOVE U DADDY HAVE A NICE ONE 

THROWING a surprise party for Childe was more difficult than one could imagine. He didn't fully admit it, but he was obviously hurt when no one wished him a happy birthday today. And while everyone went on to set the scene for when you would all surprise him, you were given the role to distract him. As the two of you strolled through the streets of Liyue Harbor, his sea blue eyes darted everywhere agitatedly. Repeatedly letting out a sigh, he combed his gloved hand through his ginger locks. You stifled a giggle at his discomfort, sensing that he was too prideful to outwardly question why his birthday wishes were practically nonexistent this year. 

He peered at you with disappointment, for he wished to hear those words from you more than anyone else. Wondering if his birthday was really that forgettable, he thought back to the day you asked when his birthday was. The two of you shared the dates and he remembered how elated he was on your birthday, buying gifts and spoiling you with his dirty earned mora. He could still see the grin that was stuck to your face the entire day. 

"Thanks for joining me on some errands. I'm almost done," you told him, smiling. Guilt continued to pour into your chest at the sight of him. 

He nodded and forced out a smile, coloring his face with his usual facade. "Anything for you, comrade," he chuckled, ruffling your hair in a habit. "I was bored anyway. It almost feels like there should be something important today, but I suppose there's truly nothing."

You wanted to burst out laughing. He was trying so hard to be discreet about it, but you could easily read behind the lines. "Oh? Nah. There's nothing important today."

"Nothing at all?" he responded, voice hollow. "That's strange. Are you sure?"

"I keep all my important dates on my calendar. It was blank for today."

His flingers curled around his shirt, gripping so tightly they shook. You were very organized, but his birthday wasn't on there. Did he mean nothing to you? Did he care for you more than you did him? He was beginning to feel idiotic -- foolish even. Falling silent as he followed you to the next stall, he watched you buy daily groceries, picking out the biggest fish in the pile and bright fruits from the baskets. He numbly carried the bags, groaning to himself. Maybe he should leave the city and hunt down some hilichurls, skewer them so he could release some of his pent up frustration. 

While he was lost in his head, too busy thinking about his bottled up emotions, you noticed Hu Tao in the distance, making wide signals. She was dramatic as per usual and you glared at her, urging her to hide within the shadows. Quickly turning away from the merchant, you were relieved to know that Childe had not detect anything suspicious. It was showtime. 

"Okay. One more stop," you informed him. 

"I... think I should to go," he responded. "I'll drop your bags back home."

Panic seeped into your expression, your eyes growing wide. Oh no -- this couldn't get any worse. You had to stop him before he could leave, because who knew where he would go next? He was such an unpredictable guy, free to roam wherever he liked with that reputation of his. "It's just one more place," you pointed out, knitting your brows together. "Come on, Childe. It will be really quick. Please?" You gave him the best puppy eyes and slipped a hand in his, squeezing it tightly to feel tingles erupt at the contact.

His head leveled slightly at the feeling of your hand, so he slowly nodded. "Fine. But I'll have to go right afterwards. I have some business to do with the Fatui."

That was a lie. The both of you knew that, but Childe didn't want to seem so lame in front of you. He already felt that enough today to last a lifetime.

You pulled him through the crowds of people lingering on the roads beside buildings, making a beeline to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. You ignored the furrow of his forehead when he saw the building looming ahead of him. Before he could voice out any inquiries, you pushed the dark oaken doors open, stepping into the darkness. He stayed by your side loyally, his muscles strained, ready to protect you from the weird atmosphere of the room. 

The curtains dropped, golden sunlight spilling through the windows to reveal the secret. "Happy birthday Childe!" the entire group called out. There stood in the room were dozens of people, including Teucer, Zhongli, Hu Tao, traveler, Paimon, and fellow Liyue citizens. Tables were set up in the Parlor, banners were hung up on the wall, and food were lined up, including a birthday cake. You turned to look at the red haired man, whose irises took it all in, his mouth parting openly. 

"Teucer. You're here!" he gasped, opening his arms wide when his little brother ran up to him. He hugged the boy tenderly, thanking everyone for the throwing the party. They all began to surround Childe, while others mingled and conversed, for the party was starting. 

You faded into the background, leaning against the cool wall and feeling grateful that it was a success. It was a lot of work, but with everyone contributing, it went very well, which was a little strange, considering you half expected it to fall apart.

Footsteps sounded, so you turned to the left to see him approaching you. He looked breathless, his cheeks rosy, and his dimples showing. "The party was your idea, wasn't it?" he stated, rather than in question form. 

Nodding silently, you took something out from your pockets. "Happy birthday, Childe."

You handed it to him and he took it with a softened expression. Unwrapping the gold, shiny wrapping of the small box, he opened it up to find a keychain in it, blue and twinkling. It was carved into a hydro vision, the details exactly aligned to the vision that sat on his torso. 

He kissed you then, crashing his lips upon yours. Hands faltering to the sides, you clenched your fingers around his forgotten present and returned the kiss. He tasted of seasalt and apples, as well as a scent that no doubt came from his homeland. His warmth brushed over to you, spreading through your system and to the tip of your fingers. Your cheeks burned at the contact and your chest pounded, but eventually, you pulled away, embarrassed by the chance of any onlookers.

"There are too many people here," you said, shaking your head, still feeling flustered by the way he looked at you -- as if you were the only thing he could see in this world. He was so unashamed, willing to do anything to grapple at the goal he sought after. He had always been like that. And always will be. 

He raised a brow, the corner of his lips curving up mischievously. "Are you suggesting we get out of here and find a vacant room?"

You hit his arm and he pouted, laughing at your reaction. "How rude," you sniffed. "I threw this entire party for you and you're already willing to ditch it. Don't think I'll forget how desperate you were this entire day."

Embarrassed, he averted his gaze from you, scratching his head with an awkward chuckle. "I didn't care for a party, [Y/N]. All I wanted was to hear a birthday wish from you. I was scared you forgot it."

"I would never forget it. Not in a million years."

His cheeks grew red and he seemed content at your answer. Swinging an arm around you, he lugged you towards the food. Then he rambled on and on about something regarding stuffing himself so he could slay a bunch of enemies. Sitting down at a table, he declared a rematch with traveler. On the other end of the table was Zhongli, going on long tangents to the poor victim who was forced to listen in. Hu Tao was scaring off another customer, suggesting deals like the sales woman she was and suddenly talking about the afterlife. 

Everyone here was so distinct and peculiar, but in a good way. Grateful to be surrounded by such people, you knew that not a day goes by without an adventure. 

"Hey Tuecer," you said to the boy beside you. He was in the middle of playing with Mr. Cyclops, making sound effects with his mouth. "How are you doing, little guy?"

"Hi [Y/N]!" he giggled. "I'm good. Mr. Cyclops is doing good too. He wants to say happy birthday to my big bro too!"

Childe returned from his conversation with traveler and Paimon, on time to ruffle his brother's head like he did with you earlier. "Thank you Mr. Cyclops," he cooed, petting the top of the toy endearingly. You laughed at the scene and he locked eyes with you. "Hey, don't hurt Mr. Cyclops' feelings like that. Right, Teucer?"

"Right," Teucer nodded somberly, growing real serious. 

Ugh, these brothers. You rolled your eyes and tossed food into your mouth. Childe's head abruptly dropped to your ear, his breath hovering upon your lobes. You shivered at his close proximity. "I love you, [Y/N]. You know that, right?" he whispered into your ear. 

Heart hammering for the millionth time this day, you paused with your chopsticks in the air. "I love you too, dumb birthday boy."

[mrspillow]

Sorry (Jellal Fernandes x Reader)

"Hmm... strawberry cake..."

Suppressing a small laugh you turned your head to Erza, your best friend of childhood days that never seemed to miss the opportunity of shoving cake into her mouth.

You had seen the amounts of baked goods the redhead could swallow within minutes, not even speaking of hours, but when it came to strawberry cakes, it turned ridiculous.

"I do not know how you aren't fat already, Erza", you mused and put your chin onto your palm, still watching that food orgy of hers "But I guess that's okay, Ichiya likes your body just the way you are."

Even though she was wearing armor, you could see the shivers running down her spine and her face growing blue as she choked on that cake.

"Stop that", she didn't like being teased with a matter as serious as Ichiya, not even by you "You know exactly he gives me the chills every time."

You shrugged and turned back to the field inside of the Domus Flau arena in Krokus, watching the pair of wizards fight it out. Although you were no part of a guild, you were busy cheering on for Fairy Tail whenever they entered the field.

Yeah, sure, there were shouts of boos and the mocking of the other guilds but with Erza alone, they couldn't be any worse than the best.

You just knew it.

Even when the both of you were just kids and surely no force to reckon with, she wasn't just a surprisingly powerful mage but also kind and caring for those in her family. She was everything that made you change minds back then and you couldn't have been more grateful. It was only then that you realized just what exactly it was that you were doing and you felt so dirty the moment it became clear as day.

You snapped out of your stupor before it became obvious you were lightyears away and focused on the matches ahead of you.

Snatching the list from Gray's hands (who was too absorbed into fighting off Juvia - as always) to take a glimpse at the letters, you let out a sigh of defeat.

"Can I have a piece too?"

Just as you felt your eyes sliding shut, Natsu bumped into you, nearly making you fall over the handrails but at least, you were awake now.

"Is it finally over?" you leaned back and let out a yawn "Thank God!"

After all, you weren't that much into stuff like tournaments, Fairy Tail was basically the only reason for you to come into this cave of pent-up masses.

Nobody answered you, either tired as well or already on their way through the door and out of the arena, back to their sweet sweet home. You got up quickly and grabbed Erza (still next to you but with a very empty plate - you could only guess Mira had sacrificed her even more cakes) to get out.

It was just then that you noticed how far the sun has gone westwards making you suppress another yawn that made its way up. You got to go to bed soon enough anyway so no need to rush.

The way back out was surprisingly swift and without running into any hostile guilds (lucky you). So you were out before Natsu broke something or bumped into somebody.

"Let's go grab something to eat, (Y/N)? You coming?", you heard Gray's voice from behind you, making you turn around and give him a bright smile - only to decline.

"I'd love to, really, but there is that thing I need to get done yet. Don't worry, I'll be back soon, just start without me.", your voice was sweet enough that you nearly even betrayed yourself, if it hadn't been for that tiny tiny voice in your head.

Why don't you just tell them?

But you brushed it off without a second thought, no need to worry your friends about your self-made worries and troubles.

"Okay...", Erza didn't seem as convinced as you would've liked "You sure?"

A simple nod was enough to soothe her and so, you made your way back into town, taking a stroll through the streets devoid of people or friends. You were alone with your thoughts and the memories that came with them.

You sighed making eye contact with the horizon to take in the way the sun was drowning beneath these parts of bustling streets and places.

You hadn't missed the silence that came with the night for you had heard it over and over again in those sleepless nights.

It shamed you to this day that you hadn't noticed the way he was using you, cocooning you in soft and sweet words to make your finger bleed from hard work and your skin shining from the sweat and tears spilled for him. The worst part of it all was that damned silent voice within you, asking again and again if what you were doing was right.

How could you build weapons of mass destruction meant for thousands with a straight face?

How dared you think sacrificing people to a black wizard could be a way to achieve paradise?

How did you fail to notice that you would never be able to sleep after you were so willing to make these sacrifices more for him than for Zeref after all?

Who knew.

Did I know?

You wondered for years if maybe, just maybe, you had known what you were doing. You probably weren't even able to throw the cloak of ignorance over your shoulders to save yourself from the cold feeling of guilt.

Shame, shame on you.

You hated the way he made you feel so far away from everything like he had built a place away from the wars and the screams of the world, simply made for the two of you.

And again, you failed to notice how it was only the mist caught in between your fingers.

"(Y/N)?"

At first, you thought it was only the back of your mind, playing tricks on you by reviving past days and voices. But after some seconds, you had noticed the silhouette nearby and wondered if you had heard his voice.

Maybe you were going crazy.

At first, you noticed the dark blue hair, sticking out to spite the cloak it was put under, then that tattoo you would notice everywhere.

Jellal Fernandes.

Surprisingly enough, your panicking mind took it upon itself to react, stumping you with the bright - borderline hysterical - laugh that came out of your mouth.

You just couldn't help it. The way he appeared after decades with nothing to say but your name just about the moment you had wallowed in self-hate and guilt was just ridiculous.

Jellal stood quiet, not even his face gave away whatever irritated look he might have had, giving your laugh an untimely end. And that was just about what you needed to come back to your right set of mind.

"What are you doing here?" You didn't bother the biting hate in your voice or the way his shoulders slumped from your tone.

"I came because Erza told me you would be here.", he started when he had straightened again "She said it wouldn't be a good idea but I came because I wanted to speak to you."

You didn't trust the way this man looked so sad. You couldn't.

Not even enough to sit next to him when he scuffled over to the next bench and gestured for you to take a seat.

Not ever, not in a thousand years would you take that seat.

So you stood like a tree, unmoving and unwavering in your place, staring at him and ready to defend yourself by any means.

Would he try anything funny?

From the way, you knew him back then? Definitely.

Surprisingly though, he didn't try to press you into sitting down, instead starting to talk about whatever it was that lead him back to you.

"It took me a very long time to properly realize what had happened in the Tower of Heaven" he started "I did things in there that I never remembered to have said or done, horrible things. And when I remembered, it was like watching through the glass as someone else moved my body."

For the blink of an eye, his hand hovered over his head before he opted to pull down his hood and revealed the dark blue hair. Jellal sighed before he put his face in his hands for a few moments as if he was trying to get ahold of his last pieces of sanity.

"And when I understood what I had done, I felt so, so guilty. I tried to sacrifice hundreds - no, thousands of people, I manipulated you, Milliana, and the others to work for my cause. The worst of it all was the way I led you to believe in the lies I told you over and over again. I remember that look of adoration in your eyes and I misused it for these terrifying things."

The way he spoke of these sins the two of you committed so easily made you relive the shame of it over and over again. It was like your mind couldn't stop.

"I need to atone for these sins, for the things I did to you, and I wanted to start by telling you how sorry I am for the way I treated you and led you into believing these tales.

I do not ask for you to forgive me or to see beyond that, I came here to apologize because that is what you deserve."

For the first time since he started talking, he looked into your eyes as if waiting for your response and your mind came to an abrupt halt.

What exactly was it what you were feeling?

Hate?

Sadness?

Anger?

...No.

For the first time in forever, you could sympathize with him - that person who you had thought of as a monster for much longer than you wanted to admit. He had been taken advantage of and used to do whatever malicious things asked of him. He did not have a choice.

What did he feel like when he discovered how many people had been suffering under him? Was it sorrow? Betrayal? Shock? Or even anger?

And only when you were ready to answer was it that you too were looking into these dark eyes.

"I remember every damn word you spoke whenever you looked at me so fondly and I remember how you laughed at me for even believing in your farce. " you didn't try to cover up the bitterness sneaking in when you recalled your heart break into pieces just like that.

"And now that you are sitting in front of me, asking for forgiveness, I don't even feel the hate anymore." it had stilled to numbness in your heart, always there, but only with that hollow feeling, never leaving.

"I cannot forget", you further explained feeling unshed tears prick in your eyes "My memories have become a part of me and they will never leave again. A Sorry won't fix everything."

By then, two or three tears escaped over your face before you could wipe them away, not escaping Jellals gaze.

He turned to look at the ground for a few seconds, then he moved off the bench and cast a sad smile at you, only to walk away from you as if that was his clue to disappear back into the night.

Only when you understood where he going, you set into motion, reaching out for his hand.

"But..."

The blue-haired male revolved when he felt your hand in his, soft as in those memories he still held close. His eyes became wide at the side of your tearing and red eyes, paired with that tiny, hopeful smile directed at him.

"But... I won't give up on you."

His mouth carved up to mirror your smile as he squeezed your hand just like sunlight kissing your skin.

[lxngbottom]

Mistakes That Last Forever. | N.L.

in which neville stumbles across... an “old friend”.

warnings: mentions of cheating, angst, pregnancy, slight trauma mentions (lmk if i missed any!)

i got inspired for this by an outsider imagine that i read like a really longgggg time ago... so enjoy this ig (AND YES THERE WILL BE A PART 2 TO THIS)

(PART 2)

—

neville’s whole life had been filled with regrets. they seeped into his skin, torturing his clouded mind on day to day basis. the trauma from the second war had left a mark on him, and even though he was now in the infamous herbology professor at hogwarts, he still didn’t feel as if he was living the life he had always wanted to. he didn’t feel successful, he didn’t feel... good about himself. and the main source of that?

you.

his biggest regret was losing you. hurting you. leaving you in such a needing time.

it had all started after the war. you two had been inseparable since 2nd year, as you were the one who had helped him down from the chandelier when he was tragically hung up by those pesky pixies. and ever since then, he was enamored with you. he was consumed by the mere thought of you. and, your feelings didn’t differ too much.

so, you two became official in your 4th year. you two were each other’s firsts for practically everything that could be a first. and, you wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. you were so in love with him, it tore you from the inside out.

but unfortunately, the war arrived. and, it took a huge toll on your relationship. it affected each bit of what you guys had built together. after the war had ended, you guys tried so hard to make it work. but, neville... it seemed as if he just... gave up.

you would never forget the day you came home from work to your shared apartment, and heard strange noises coming from your bedroom. you went up, deep down, already knowing what the noises were. and of course, when you opened the door, your worst nightmare had became a reality. and even worse?

you were pregnant.

neville knew this too, but, he felt as if he had spent so long being “stuck” in a relationship with you, he never got the chance to meet new people. and because of that, for the sake of your child, you left. because, he had left you first, and he had done something unforgivable. something that would leave you scarred, and something that would take hold of you for years.

but, now things were different for you. you were more than content with where your life was at right now. you had an amazing job as the journalist for the daily prophet, and you were damn good at it too. it was a collective agreement that you were definitely a step up from rita skeeter.

neville couldn’t disagree more, though. not that he didn’t think you were good at your job, he always thought that you were an amazing writer. but, he had to force himself to cancel his personal subscription to the daily prophet, as the simple mention of your name on the front page, or sometimes, maybe even your picture, broke his heart to see. some from guilt, but mostly, from just missing you.

just five years later, here you were. walking through a muggle hardware store, looking at all of the houseplants that surrounded the small garden.

“mummy, look!”

you whipped your head around, and smiled when you saw your small son, chubby just like neville used to be when he was young. you had always tried to disregard the fact that he looked exactly like his father, but it was difficult to. you loved your son, with everything you had in your body, but, he was a constant reminder of all the pain that had been caused.

“very nice, nev!” you giggled, watching as your son played with a single pink flower bouquet. he grinned at you, and suddenly plucked the fresh flower off of it’s stem. you gasped, and wanted your hand at him, “neville longbottom! we don’t do that! do you want to get in trouble?!”

his face contorted into a guilty one as he made those ridiculously adorable puppy dog eyes at you, “i’m sorry, mum... i-i-i didn’t know. i was trying to pick it for you...”

you couldn’t help but to feel a little guilty as he sadly dropped the broken off flower on the floor, watching as it blew away from the huge fan that hung above the both of you.

“it’s okay, dear. but, try not to pick them from the actual stems, okay? just... look on the floor. you’ll see a bunch of free flowers everywhere.” you teased, sending him a small smile. he looked up at you, and those sad puppy dog eyes quickly sparkled with excitement as he ran away, looking around the garden for those small, long forgotten flowers.

you chuckled quietly to yourself as you watched your son, seeing how his eyes glowed from all of the plants.

yeah. he was definitely neville’s son.

you turned your body back around, attempting to continue your shopping. but, your body then collided with another, causing you to come to a complete halt.

“oh, merlin! i’m so—“ you were just about to spurt out multiple apologies, until, you looked at the figure.

there he was. tall, muscular, and a intent gaze fixated on his face as he stared at you.

“n—neville?”

he was so shocked. he couldn’t even let out a single mutter. you were right there. right in front of him. after not seeing you for so long, but thinking about you always, you were finally right here.

“y/n...” he breathed out finally, trying to not show how incredibly nervous he was.

this was the first time you two had seen each other since the day you packed all of your things, and left him standing alone at the door step that once belonged to the both of you. he could never seem to part with the apartment, the whole environment still leaving trails of you. so, of course, he still resided there during his off times.

“um—wow... shit—i’m sorry. you know... for bumping into you...” he laughed nervously, stepping away from you. you gave him a nervous chuckle as well, trying to hide the redness that was now blending within your skin.

“oh—it’s alright. i should’ve—you know... been watching where i was going...”

neville opened his mouth to respond, as he wanted to ask you so many things. but, he was interrupted by a small child running up to you, tears streaming down his face as he clutched onto your leg.

“mum...” he sniffled out, and you looked down with a concerned look on your face, “t-t-the lady yelled at me...i-i-i accidentally b-broke one of the f-f-flowers...”

neville knew those eyes. he knew that familiar stutter. he knew those tears. it was like practically looking into a mirror.

that was his son.

you looked over at neville nervously, seeing realization flashing in his green orbs. but, you bent down to neville jr, who was an absolute mess. he never took kindly to people getting onto him, especially if they were yelling.

“oh... it’s alright, nev. we have a whole garden at home that we can grow flowers in...” you reassured him, wiping his small tears. he nestled into your touch, “why don’t you go and pick out some seeds? any kind you like... i’ll get them for you.”

there was a shy smile on his face as you said that, and he looked over at the strange man that stood baffled beside you.

“okay...” he sniffled, wiping his nose, “but... who’s that?” he asked, pointing to neville.

you had never told your son about his father, and you had hoped that he never would. but, you knew the day would come. you just didn’t think that day would be today.

“an old friend, darling. now, do as i say and go find some flowers, alright?”

your son nodded, reluctantly leaving you with the tall man that he had no idea the identity of. you stood up fully awkwardly, and looked over at neville who’s face was now angry.

he watched as the boy ran off, “he doesn’t know who i am?” he asked through gritted teeth, his eyes narrowing at you.

you looked back at him, “nev—“

“no... how could you not tell him? that’s my son, y/n. you—you told me you were putting the baby in adoption... how could you lie to me? and him? why would you do that?”

you knew you owed the man an explanation, but all at the same time, he had brought this upon himself. and yeah, maybe it was fucked up that you had lied to him, but, you genuinely did believe at the time you were getting rid of the baby.

“neville... not here. please...”

“no, y/n. you owe me a goddamn explanation. i mean... this is my fucking child we’re talking about. look at him! he looks just like me!”

you looked over at the chubby boy, watching him closely as he skimmed through seeds, staring at the images on the front.

“don’t you think i know that, neville?” you whispered, “listen... we can talk about this. but, not here. and, not while he’s around...”

“no! i want to talk to him! i deserve it—goddamn it, y/n! how could you fucking do this to me?!”

“and how could you cheat on me?! after everything we went through together! you fucking left me in the dust!”

he could see the pain in your eyes. there was obviously still a lot of hurt, so much rage pent up from the whole scenario. of course you had never fully gotten over it. it was still something you thought about on a daily basis, as you had believed at one point that you would be married to neville by now.

“y/n...” neville started, stepping closer to you, “i—i never meant to hurt you...”

you stared into his eyes for a moment, trying to find some sort of other answer other than that stupid apology you had heard so many times before.

“it doesn’t matter, longbottom. i have to go. we can talk about this whole thing another time. goodbye.”

[kisslettrs]

haikyuu characters talking after a fight with their s/o

featuring: lev, kuroo, suna

a/n: first post woo! hope you enjoy this ! ALSO UM. THEY TURNED OUT TO BE SO MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT THEYD BE??? ESPECIALLY KUROOS LMAO THEYRE NEVER THIS LONG I PROMISE DONT GET YOUR HOPES UP OR VICE VERSA. also not beta read soz 💔

warnings: none i don’t think? relationship fights ig. oh and angsty with some gushy shit at the end for each of them 💞

→ HAIBIA LEV

you and lev rarely get into fights. only small complains about his behavior and him whining, or friendly petty arguments. but last night was different... I guess you could say.

lev was always pretty immature and playful yeah, but sometimes it felt like he never took anything seriously. it felt as though he never took him and your relationship seriously. especially now, when you decided to confront him about it.

“why are you laughing...?” you asked, staring at him

“i-i’m sorry, y/n honey, i just...!” he said, covering his mouth as a half assed attempt to keep in his laughter.

“lev, i know it’s just in your nature to act like this but I’m being genuine. i’m not joking, please. you’re doing it again! please just listen—!”

you were cut off again by the sounds of your significant other’s laughter, causing all your frustration to let loose.

“lev haiba!”

he immediately stopped, before looking at you in the eyes, his thin pupils meeting yours.

“i’m sorry. but lev, please can you just take me seriously for once?! i love you, but you need to understand that you can’t just—!” you frailed your hand around, motioning towards him, you, whatever this scene was. “—you can’t just do this all the time I—!”

before you could finish, your mind had been too pent up with frustration. “nevermind...” you grabbed your bag, before rushing out the door, not giving him the chance to talk.

fast forward next day, and you checked your phone.

[32 new messages from favorite dork 💝]

you sigh heavily, before letting the cold feeling of guilt claw at the back of your head. you hadn’t mean to make lev worry, you just needed your time alone. although if you did have to be honest with yourself, leaving without a ‘i love you,’ or hell even just a ‘bye’ was cruel.

as you opened your messages, you were bombarded with messages of pleas and apologizes that were sent at 9:21 PM last night, moments after you left his house. the guilt swallowed your stomach again, your hands slowly typing; “it’s ok hun. really. I love you too.” and pressing send.

you threw your phone onto your bed, before deciding to get ready. you and lev never really saw each other much since you two were in different grades, he was a first year, you were a second. you both had to wait after school, or well... maybe moments after. your phone buzzed a few times, but you decided to ignore it. it was too early.

schools over, and you’re walking home. you were gonna talk to lev today, just not now. you didn’t wanna interrupt his volleyball training just for some stupid relationship issue. as soon as you reach home however, you see a familiar tall figure fidgeting on his phone.

“...lev?” you called out, causing the silver haired boy to whip his head around, his eyes lighting up. “Y/N!”

he quickly shoved his phone inside his pocket, before running up to you and embracing you in a warm hug, shaking you a little. “y/n! y/n! i’m sorry for being stupid last night, I’m sorry, i’m so sorry.” he was squeezing you tight, and god did it hurt hearing his voice break like that.

“lev, sweetie, i told you it’s okay, really.” you spoke, caressing his back. he seemed to stay still for a moment, before speaking once again. “is this okay? me holding you like this, is this okay or do you... need space?”

you smiled softly. it made you happy lev wanted to make sure he wasn’t overstepping any of your boundaries. you felt your other arm hold him. “yeah, this is okay.” you swore you could feel him smile out of relief.

“i’m... i’m sorry again y/n honey, it’s just hard for me, i don’t...” he paused. “it’s just...difficult for me to handle situations like that.” you nuzzled into his shoulder. “it’s okay, you dork. i understand.” you reassured him again.

“but—!” he pushed back, meeting your eyes. “i’m gonna try...i’m gonna try harder. i’m gonna try to be better, for you y/n! i love you so much... i’ll do my best.” god, this dork. no wonder you loved him so much. you cupped his cheeks. “i’ll do better too lev, i won’t be as mean again. i promise, i love you too, so much.”

and with that, both of your faces met, and the two of you kissed lightly.

→ KUROO TETSURO

you and kuroo get into small arguments here and there like every other couple, and whenever you do you two usually recover quickly. you both like to call them ‘squicks.’

however, that night there was no denying that wasn’t any other normal squick you two had. no, that was a fight.

kuroo and you haven’t had a moment alone that wasn’t just you and him walking back home, and it’s been making you upset. so uh, that night you decided to confront him about it.

yeah it didn’t go well uhh

“i know we’re like, a couple y/n. but honey you have to understand i’m busy. you have friends don’t you? go hang out with them or something.”

“yeah, i know kuroo, and trust me i’m happy for you! but you’ve been so distant, we haven’t had a moment alone that lasted more than 5 minutes for like, 2 months! it wasn’t a big deal then, but i miss you and i’m worried.”

you paused, before continuing. “don’t you wanna spend some time with me? just, for like 30 minutes? don’t you miss me?”

“i do, y/n. i miss you and i love you. but like i said i’m busy with volleyball, you aren’t my top priority right now.”

“it’s been 2 months kuroo!” you shouted, causing him to widen his eyes. “don’t you understand? i’m not asking for your top attention, I’m asking for you to give me 25% of it at least!”

it was quiet for a moment. “sorry.” was all he said, before turning around his eyes focused on the volleyball between his feet.

you felt hurt and frustrated. “you know what? fine.” he immediately went back to look at you, seeing you grab your bag. “see you whenever you feel like to acknowledge my existence, I guess. bye.”

as soon as you touched the doorknob, you could hear him get up and say the words ‘wait, baby wait—‘ but you had enough. you needed to air out your head of the tension and frustration of the house and you left. you felt tears peak at the corner of your eyes as soon as you did.

next day, and you’ve been feeling shittier than usual. as soon as you woke up, you turned to make you lay on your back, staring at your ceiling and thinking; “was i too harsh? am i being too selfish? too clingy?”

you loved what your boyfriend did and you were perfectly fine with him having his time to himself. you knew you weren’t his top priority and he wasn’t yours. but 2 months with little to no communication felt too long. was it wrong to want to spend at least 30 minutes with your boyfriend? was that too much to ask for?

the anxiety raced to your head again. what if you were being too clingy. maybe kuroo had the right to be upset too. you were being too selfish, stop thinking of yourself so often. you curled up into your side. you didn’t want to think about it, and you didn’t want to see him in the halls either. you didn’t even wanna check your phone to see if you messaged you.

you decided to skip, staying home, watching TV and playing some games. you couldn’t mentally handle seeing him. at least not for right now.

some time passes by, and your phone is buzzing. you checked the time from the small clock on your wall, seeing the handles pointing towards 4:30 PM. oh wow, after school clubs should be over too.

you grabbed your phone to see who it’s by, knowing deep down it was who you thought it was.

[23 new messages by Hubby 😾💗]

[Kyanma: uhh hey y/n? did something...]

[2 missed calls by Hubby 😾💗]

choosing to ignore kuroo for now, you swiped at Kenma’s notification and read the full message.

[Kyanma: uhh hey y/n? did something happen with kuroo that youre aware of??? he seemed so much more down than usual during practice.

you: no. we rarely talk anymore because of practice lol I guess.

Kyanma: ???

Kyanma: Did something happen between YOU two?

you: we had a fight. im not really in the mood to talk to him. I skipped school. itll be back to normal in a few more days, sorry for the inconvenience snchsychsj

Kyanma: you two should resolve that. like seriously. hope u two feel better tho, bye✌️

you: we will hopefully lol bye kenma !!]

sighing, you placed your phone down on the small coffee table infront of you, but as soon did, you heard a knock coming from your front door. humming in response, you got up and made your way towards the front door, but decided to look through the peephole to make sure it wasn’t some scammer person or creep.

well, it was neither of those two but it was in fact no one else other than kuroo tetsuro. you sighed heavily again, before unlocking the door and turning the knob opening up to your boyfriend.

“hey y/n.”

“hi kuroo.”

you folded your arms, deciding to put up a strong facade, pretending you weren’t mentally screaming and that anxiety wasn’t clawing at your back. “did you forget something or...?”

kuroo brought his hand to the back of neck, awkwardly scratching it. “yeah uh...” he looked around, not wanting to make eye contact. “um. listen y/n.” he made his way to grab your hands, holding them together. “i’m sorry. i really am.”

“please don’t touch me. not right now at least...” even though you seemed so desperate for his touch the other night, you really did need your space. kuroo seemed alarmed at first, quickly swiping his hands back, wanting to respect your space. “of course baby! i’m sorry for acting too soon.”

you watched him scramble around a bit, finding it a bit cute. “can I come inside?” he asked. you nodded, and both of you went inside and sat to your coach.

“like I said y/n. i know ive been distant, and ive missed you so much. god, do I miss you. i wanna hug you and cuddle you so bad but volleyball and the nationals have been bugging me i couldn’t have find the proper time. i’m just scared... and I...”

“kuroo.” you said. his head snatched upwards, looking at you. you were gonna say something as soon as he did but the look he gave you caught you off guard. he looked like a cat pleading.

as soon as you pushed away the thoughts of him being stupidly adorable, you continued your sentence. “I understand, and i’m sorry for being too clingy. i just miss you a lot. i’m willing to wait for you, baby.” as soon as you said that, you saw his eyes pierce through your soul. fuck did I say something wrong.

before you could say anything else, it was kuroo’s turn to speak. “no baby. it’s alright, you aren’t the one at fault here it was me. i’m sorry for not listening to you that night. i’m gonna be a better boyfriend, i’m gonna be the boyfriend you deserve through and through.”

fucking idiot, i’m the one who was supposed to say sorry, not you! You didn’t say anything for a moment, before laughing lightly. “babe? i love you but i have to be the one who takes at least, 50% of the fault. it’s okay, i love you and i forgive you. and i’m happy for what you’re doing and how far you’ve come.” you placed your hand on his. “you can touch me now.”

his eyes immediately lit up, his lips curving into a smile and you swore you could see tears start forming in his eyes before he launched himself onto you. “my god y/n, how did i get so lucky. i love you so much, i love you so much.” he hugged you tight. you laughed. “i love you too kuroo. so much, i love you so much. i’m the lucky one.”

he pulled away and brought you to a kiss. before you could respond, he asked, “are you free saturday?”

→ SUNA RINTARO

while suna and you disagreed on a lot of things from time to time, you two usually both came to a mutual agreement and it wasn’t anything big.

but lately he seemed even more off than usual. communication was such a huge thing between both of you, but he seemed to just not be...cooperating?

suna is someone who doesn’t like expressing his emotions. and as his significant other, you felt like understanding him was a priority. but you just didn’t sometimes and it made you worry. him being distant did not help.

one day when you decided to bring it up, the situation got a bit... out of hand

“what?” he asked.

you shrugged your shoulders. “i don’t know. suna i care for you, and you just never helping me understand makes me extremely upset! i know it’s hard for you, but...”

you could feel him roll his eyes. “i don’t know what you’re going on about y/n,” he looked at you. “but really, i’m fine. do you not trust me to talk to you or something?”

“no..!” you denied. “listen. youve been getting more and more tired each day and i could tell. you’ve been ghosting me too.”

“...what?” he basically hissed it. “i’m not an asshole y/n. nothing is wrong. why do you keep trying to butt your head into my life every second?” his voice began to raise.

this was rare. even when he did raise his voice at you, it was never filled with negative intent but this time...

“i can take care of myself, y/n. i don’t need you and your noisy nose in my business all the time. sorry if you feel like you’re on baby sitting duty, but you really don’t need to be so clingy and emotional all the time...”

well damn. his words hurt. a lot.

“sorry for caring for you then, damn...” you grumble under your breath. you quickly grabbed your house keys and bags. he perked his head up. “y/n? where are you going?”

you didn’t reply. “y/n!” you rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the pain in your chest and stomach, before opening the door and leaving.

as soon as you woke up, your head hurt more than usual. those words must’ve hit you deeper than they should’ve, huh?

maybe i was just being too clingy, you thought, and those thoughts hadn’t left your mind the whole morning. whatever, you’ll just apologize after school.

you haven’t seen suna at all that day, not on the walk to school, not in the halls, not in his classroom. he was... nowhere. when you went to the volleyball club after school, asking if any of the members had seen him all of them replied with a simple ‘no.’

kita specically had been giving you long glances ever since you arrived. once you finally reached him, instead of denying seeing your boyfriend, he told you, “he wasn’t in school at all i assume. maybe he’s at home.”

home? why would he be home? maybe he was feeling sick...

you bowed and thanked him and the rest of the teammates before leaving. on your way home, you decided to stop by a connivence store and buy him his favorite snack, chuupet. or well, just jelly fruit snacks. you bought 2 packs for you and him, hoping it was a good time to apologize.

you walked up to his house, knocked lightly on the door and was greeted by his mother. “ah~ greetings y/n!” you smiled lightly and gave her a wave. “good afternoon! say, is rintaro home?” you asked. she nodded, moving to the side as a way to invite you in the house. “he should be in his room!”

“thank you!” you bowed quickly before making your way up the stairs. as soon as you passed by his sisters room, there you were infront of his. with your free hand, you lightly held a fist and began knocking on his door.

“suna? rintaro?” you called out. you would call him by a sweet pet name but remembering last night, you didn’t wanna break any boundaries. the room was quiet, and though you really didn’t wanna disturb him, you wanted to make sure he was okay. as soon as you did, however, you were greeted by a sight that broke your heart.

suna rintaro, the boy you loved so much, had his hair messier than usual, his eyes seemed red from crying and he was up against his bed frame, his phone in his hand. when he looked up, he saw you, his eyes widening.

“...y-y/n?” you stood there frozen. “rintaro...honey my god,” you quickly went up to him. “what happened?” you looked at him, his gaze looking down. you wanted to hug him so bad, but yet again, that argument you had last night prevented you from anything.

“hey. listen, sweetie. i got your favorite.” you held up the 2 bags of jelly fruit gummies. “it’s gonna be okay, okay? i’m here.” he was just looking at you, not saying anything, before muttering something under his breath.

“huh? what was that? i didn’t hear you hon, what’s up?” you asked, making sure to keep your distance. suna choked back a sob, before launching himself onto you, almost knocking you into the ground. “w-woah there!”

“y/n... i’m sorry i’m so sorry. i’ve been so frustrated with school... exams... volleyball and i’ve missed you so much but i was so tired that night! i lashed out on you but i didn’t mean any of it. i promise, i promise, don’t leave me please.” he sobbed quietly, his head resting against your forehead. when you looked up, you could see him squeezing his eyes shut.

wow, this was even more rare.

you brought your arms to his neck, embracing him. “it’s okay rintaro. shh, it’s gonna be okay. i love you and i’m sorry for being upset, i just worry about you.” you rubbed his back lightly as he continued sobbing, allowing you to give him a few kisses on the cheek, neck and forehead. “you’re safe, you’re gonna be okay honey. i love you so much.” you repeated.

suna never showed his emotions much, but he seemed to have a lot of pent up anger, sadness and confusion up in him, and he let it out for an hour infront of you, there to comfort him.

as soon as he stopped, you and him were snuggling on his bed watching whatever was on his TV, eating the fruit snacks. he leaned onto your head. “i love you...please, don’t leave me. i’m sorry.”

you bumped your head back onto him. “stop apologizing. i keep telling you it’s okay.” you giggled lightly. “please sweetie, talk to me so this doesn’t happen again.” he only nodded silently, before drifting to sleep in your embrace.

[melodythebunny]

Every couple has their issues. What's Steven and Carrie's?

Ramble ahead-

Steven as mentioned NUMEROUS times before had been in prior relationships before Carrie. either they fell through or the long distance was a cut off from them. 

Despite his attempts not to, he does find himself projecting onto Carrie. He stops when he realizes what he is doing and guilt starts eating him up. Steven feels like its HIS fault why his past partners left him. He KNOWS its not, most of the situations were put of both of their control but it still bugs him to this day.

He tries drowning himself in work so his brain can think of anything else. It works most of the times. But it comes at the cost of forgetting his well-being.

Of course constantly keeping your brain thinking and busy. However constantly doing that isn't good. Breaks are needed every now and then. He could be in the middle of VERY IMPORTANT or DANGEROUS work when his brain decides 'okay that's enough work for today, let's do some self care'. And that self care can range from basic stuff like eating a meal to watching sci-fi movies to trying to recreate A grilled cheese sandwich in a lab.

He has pented up frustration. that comes from constantly dealing with mightier-than-thou people with his line of work. He's learned to just keep his thoughts in his head to save from a later headache.

As for Carrie her parents were constantly setting her up on dates with guys they they thought were a "perfect" match. So she kinda went. It'll happen when it happens.

I mentioned this before, but her parents views of perfection are the reason is VERY forgiving in a very….

How do i put this… Uh…

Scary way?? I guess. I literally can’t think of the word right now.

Like you know how there are those nice people who are kinda unsettling to be around when you realize that there’s something OFF about them?

Yea that’s how Carrie is when she’s being forgiving.

To her.

Forgiveness means, “Great, i don’t have to think about, give a care about, or acknowledge you were apart of my life” to Carrie. This is the bandaid she put on that lil thing that snapped in her soul to keep herself sane.

Forgiveness is her way of being able to stop caring with a clear conscience. Something she wasnt able to do most of her life thanks to her parents constant guilt tripping and gaslighting.

Geez… and this is all BEFORE current events.

as two brains, he actually starts piecing together things. aNd realize that he tried to goop his not actually dead wife. Things become awkward for him So Carrie here is just confused to why he suddenly being all lovey dovey and clingy. he really did mean to tell her however someone else beats him to the punch with that. 😈

He does become unbearably clingy at some point.

Until she SNAPs at him. She still keeps him at arms length. And closed up. (He's got cheese issues and she's got trust issues) Then again he hasn't been completely honest with her either.

She does start remembering things prior to being in the "bad place"(yeah I'm just calling it that for now-). She realizes two brains KNEW something and didn't tell her so she gets angry for him lying to her. Things are pretty tense between the two for a while.

Carrie WANTS to tell him everything she knows from her point of view, but she just…cant. It even takes her a while to admit out loud that she still has feelings for him.

Andddd in the next gen au they still have their issues but learning to cope with them better. If anything their experiences taught them to be a bit more open to each other and everyone else in their life. 

[yanderart]

   Took me longer since the “drabble” that was supposed to accompany this turned into a kind of extensive one-shot, but here’s the next installment in the Yandere POV series. Inspired by a juicy request from some thoughtful anons!

   Below the cut is, as customary, a fic I wrote exploring the underlying themes of the portrait (creepy best friend tamaki x reader, nsfw, dark themes, 8k).

TWs: usual yandere content (delusion, obsession, deceit, etc), explicit noncon, violence, Tamaki making the frienzone his bitch. Generous implementations of the pet name “bunny”.

 .                  

 If you had known the chain of events that would spiral from telling Tamaki about your new relationship… well, perhaps you would’ve stayed quiet. It wasn’t like it was that serious yet either, but you had an inkling (“I really like this one, Tamaki”) that made it worthwhile enough to mention in your book. Remarkable enough to share with your very best friend.  

  Besides, in your defence, you really had no way of knowing just what hid behind his agitated reaction. Nerves stretched thin, voice terse as he congratulated you with a smile that appeared a little too bright, a little too strained. With someone like Tamaki, it was easy to go chalk it all up to his anxiety, stress or an unfortunate mix of both.

  So easy to underestimate him, wasn’t it?

  Nevertheless, there were no uses for any what ifs in your future, speculations and paranoia not even close to creeping up on you yet. So almost a week after your reveal, when you got a call from Tamaki himself, you didn’t even hesitate as you picked it up in the last few dredges of your work shift.

  “Need something?” you answered distractedly as your fingers continued typing on your keyboard, sorting out the last few remnants of some menial task.  

  The prolonged silence however, only brokered by a subtle sound you identified as actual sniffling, was your only response. Your hands stopped mid movements then, brows furrowed with worry.  

  “What’s happening, dear?”

  This time your voice was as calming as you could compel it to be, your tone trying to imbed reassurance into every syllable, “Tamaki?”

  You heard what sounded like a whine, a strangled sound that conjured up an image of tears trailing down his cheeks, bottom lip quivering in a sorrowful grimace.  

  Calling him dear despite having a boyfriend now, it was like you were taunting him.  

  “Bunny,” Tamaki’s voice was shaking as he called you by your old nickname, sobs making it hard to understand anything but how panicked his intonation was. “I-I need you.”

  Thinking your pro-hero friend was having another budding panic attack, or perhaps on the brink of a new stress induced mental breakdown, you were on your feet before he even stopped speaking. The protective side of your brain had overridden any apprehension to leave your post, your hands already reaching to turn off your work computer before you wordlessly left your desk.

  You were working overtime, anyways, and any consequences that came out of going to your friend’s aid were well worth facing in your book. And by that point too, you knew enough of all of their schedules to know yours would be the easiest to clear. Mirio and Nejire had their own heroics to worry about, while you only had an unremarkable office job to account for.  

   Not like he’d want Mirio or Nejire there, though. Not like he would ever call for them when he had you.  

   “I’ll be right there, Tamaki. Please stay put,” was the last thing you told him before hanging up and rushing to get your coat.  

   The urgency in his timbre, the utter need, was all you could think of as you left your building in quickened strides.  

  And by the way you were rushing, it was clear that you actually cared for him, your very best friend. All you needed was a gentle reminder of just how much.

.

  You got to Tamaki’s apartment in a matter of minutes, letting your cab driver keep the change as you stumbled up the stairs in urgent skips. It wasn’t the first time he asked you to be there for him (asked you without actually saying it, because he would never dare utter the words), yet you knew enough of the turmoil he went through on a daily basis. A pro-hero he might be, but his anxiety was his eternally undefeated foe.

  Although was it really that bad if it kept bringing you two together?

  Opening the door into a room enveloped by shadows, you dropped your things without a care before attempting to make your way into the living room.

   Barely a heartbeat later, an audible hitch in someone’s breathing alerted you quickly of your friend’s location.

   “Y/N?” his voice sounded hoarse and choked up as he called for you. And it felt like a fist was squeezing your heart, the same that had been consistently gripping your chest ever since you first picked up the phone in your office.

  “I’m here, dear.“ You comforted him while redirecting your steps to the sound of his trembling voice.  

   Despite the darkness, your eyes were acclimatized enough to distinguish the silhouette of his body hunched over the only sofa in the room. Even without getting a glimpse at his face, you could sense defeat and pessimism oozing off of him in waves. As you got closer, however, he made no movements of retreat, nor flinched away when you sat beside him.  

   Instead, it was like his body started to release all of his pent-up tension as a response to your proximity.

  You were there and it was like he could finally breathe. You were there for him, right where you were meant to be.

  One of your palms was reaching out and drawing quick circles across his back, the thin fabric of his t-shirt bunching up while your voice hummed what you hoped was a tranquilizing melody. With the other one, you clasped one of Tamaki’s own vacant hands and gave it a gentle squeeze, almost as if you were willing the worries to leave his body, a piper’s songs coaxing them out in the form of your enticing presence.  

  By that point, you knew enough about his episodes to know physical contact and reassurance were the fastest ways to get him to come back up from his lowest of lows. So it was no wonder, then, when your reward came quickly in the form of a content sigh leaving his lips, anguish still visible in his posture but his body clearly leaning into the solace you offered.

  The balm you provided had always been intoxicating for him.  

  “I… I wasn’t sure you’d come,” he stuttered through distressed hiccups. He looked so fragile like that, so much like a kicked puppy, that you instinctually wrapped your arm around his waist and hugged him closer to your side.  

  “Oh, Tamaki…,” you shushed with a note of guilt, preoccupied with the fact that he would ever think you’d leave him hanging, “why would you even say that?”

  You could feel his shoulders stiffen in your embrace, his hand tightening around yours for a moment before going limp in your grip. His lack of an answer stung even more.  

  It was ridiculous truly, to feel so protective over a man who was a pro-hero and clearly several times your strength. Even hugging him like you were, his lanky silhouette overshadowed yours in an almost comical portrayal of your height difference.  

  But he was your dearest friend —taking care of him came as second nature.  

  He adored you for it.  

   “You know I could never ignore you when you need me,” you whispered as your thumb drew patterns on the hand you were holding, soft insignificant drawings that to him felt like ancient secrets being exchanged. “I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

   It was always like this with you two. Tamaki stayed quiet while you rambled on in his ear, trying to scatter any doubts or anxious thoughts still clouding his mind. At first you had thought it’d be annoying for him, overbearing in the worst of senses, but he had quickly insisted that you always knew just what to do to calm him down. You were his best friend, the one person besides Mirio and Nejire who just got him, who truly understood…

   So it only made you feel guiltier, to think that you wouldn’t be able to help him this one time. He was a hero who saved countless lives, someone whose time was worth more than you could ever hope to achieve as a meager civilian. And yet you couldn’t even comfort him as a friend?

  But it wasn’t your fault. You just needed to unlearn your behaviour. And if he truly was your best friend, didn’t you want him to feel loved too?  

   Which was precisely when an idea came to you, an epiphany from above in the form of a vivid memory of the last time you two met up, of the news that had seemingly left Tamaki acting oddly sour.  

   “You didn’t think I’d just forget about you because I have a boyfriend now, did you?,” you joked good-naturedly.  

   Only instead of having the comforting effect you’d hoped, your comment resulted in your friend stiffening even more, his face finally snapping to look at you with hurt written all across his features. The strength was back in the manner in which he was now seizing your hand, clasping it until you started to feel the blood circulation being slowly cut off.  

   “Isn’t that how it works, though?” His question was fretful on his tongue, barely above a whisper and with the slightest hint of resentment. His eyes were impossibly wide, impossibly alert as he studied your reaction, “Isn’t your boyfriend supposed to be your priority? The person you care for the most?”

  But even with the switch in his behaviour and the worrisome path his words were taking, you were still too preoccupied by him to heed any of it. It was just Tamaki over analyzing things, as always, and his anxiety popping in to get the better of him.  

  “Human relationships don’t work like that, dear.” And there the fucking nickname was again, that jest of a loving pet name on your lips. “It’s not a hierarchical structure. I care about both of you in different ways.”

   It felt silly to explain it out loud, to say such an obvious thing, but you couldn’t help wanting to appease some of the conflict eating away at your friend. Did he really think you’d ever drop him for anyone else? You had known Tamaki for years now, cared for him for what felt like a lifetime. The thought alone seemed completely ludicrous to you…

   Even as his touch started hurting, as you felt a stern pressure that would surely become a bruise on your wrist, all you could think of was that this was just Tamaki being Tamaki, right? And you just needed to calm him down, like you always did.  

  He saw the misery on your gorgeous face, the blossoming pain colouring your expression despite your attempts at hiding it. For once, he wasn’t the only one hurting anymore, and he oddly enjoyed that.

“You’re saying that, but why… why can’t I believe you?” It sounded like he was conflicted, tone frantic as he attempted to wrestle down whatever doubts were increasingly plaguing his mind. He tugged at your wrist with a clenched fist, stealing a whimper out of you while his face got closer and closer, “Uh, I bet he doesn’t give you as much trouble either. Bet he takes care of you.”

  I bet you love him was left unsaid. I bet you love him like I wish you loved me.  

  You attempted to push him off with your free hand at that point, discomfort quickly growing into annoyance despite your best intentions of being understanding. You were still under the impression that this was just a moment of clouded thoughts on his part, something bound to pass as he regained a grip of his senses. But the nerves flaring from the strength of his hold were impossible to ignore.

  “Tamaki, let me go first,” you commanded in a carefully composed manner, still attempting not to sound as harsh as you would’ve if this was anyone but your anxiety ridden best friend, “and then we can talk about why you’re feeling like that.”  

  Yet his reaction was abrasive once more, twisting your arm by the wrist harshly until your entire body was collapsing into his.

   “Don’t be like that. Don’t lie to me and tell me everything will be okay,” he was agitated, jittery and unstable in the way his eyes kept darting around. “All of this time I’ve been waiting… waiting to gather the courage…” He was making little sense now, just mumbling while he kept cradled your pained hand between his, a darkened gaze fluttering from your own eyes, to your lips and lastly some obscure point in the wall behind you. “And then you couldn’t wait for me anymore. And now you don’t need me.”

  It was hard to think through the mist of your budding worry and the agony still emanating from your wrist. Somehow, your other arm had stopped fruitlessly hitting him and was instead just trying to keep him at a distance, your neck cramping from how far back you were trying to get yourself.  

   He was impossibly close, intense and expectant as his stare once again found its way to yours. You could still see the doubts twisting there, but it was rapidly becoming eclipsed by a new creeping resolution. Even while you continued silently fighting to escape his grip, as terror encased you and you tried to understand why your best friend was acting like that all of a sudden.  

  After that night, would you perhaps think a villain’s quirk was to blame? Or maybe you’d think one of his enemies had decided to impersonate him in a twisted bid for revenge? Surely you couldn’t accept what the reality was, the fact that his love for you was just that blinding.  

   Don’t worry, though, he’d make you understand.

  Tamaki’s voice was feverish once he broke through the silence again, a new type of determination steadying his usual stutter in a way you’d never heard before.  

  “But I’ll fix that,” and then he was cupping your face with his free hand, your numb one still clutched tightly in his lap while his attention was diverted to your worried expression. “And then you will need me just as much as I need you. Then…“

  And there was a pregnant pause before he continued, a space of time where his stare bore into yours full of hidden meaning, “We can go back to being best friends again.”

Somehow though, on his tongue the term best friends sounded suspiciously like something else entirely.

 “Tamaki, listen…,” you tried again, refusing to quit still, before being interrupted by a terrifying sequence of actions unravelling.

  Because he was tugging your wrist down again after that, but this time twisting and twisting until your entire field of vision filled with the aftermath of an unbearable pain. A snapping sound echoed in your ears, a scream clawing its way out of your throat before you had a notion of what was even happening —Tearing through the rest of your composure, probably hurting his ears just as much as it left your vocal cords feeling raw. By that point, the hand that was previously pushing at his chest with firmness had turned frenzied, clamped fists now carrying the weight of urgency.  

  Tamaki looked halfway surprised at his own actions, halfway scared. Halfway excited, too.  

  Following a pattern of behaviour which did little to deter the horror rapidly embracing you, your so-called friend inhaled thickly before, suddenly and without warning, capturing your lips in a kiss. Your eyes were opened wide as you felt the pressure of his mouth claiming yours, taking advantage of your numb state to persuade you into opening up and allowing an even more intimate intrusion.  

  It has to be a nightmare, you thought in shock as his hands fluttered against your cheeks, sliding down to your neck and massaging your shoulders. It was like he couldn’t decide whether to stay still, where to touch or caress as his lips openly devoured you.  

  He waited so long for this, an eternity of yearning for someone right at his side.

   “T-Tamaki,”i, you willed yourself into speaking up once he broke away from you, gasping for air and with his hair looking as wild as his gaze, “I don’t know what happened but… you’re not being yourself.”

  Were you seriously still trying to deny his feelings? Trying to pretend like it hadn’t taken everything in him to finally gather his courage and just act. What a fucking friend you were.

  If he didn’t love you so much, he’d hate you for that.

  “You need help. Something happened”, you were rambling, too intimidated by the intent with which your friend was now listening to your words. “Once you’re feeling better, we can talk. I… I’ll promise to be understanding.”

  And despite the throbbing sensation in your injured hand, despite the disgust at his actions and unadulterated horror, the worst part was that you really meant it…

  But who were you really trying to convince at that point?

   His hands were still on your shoulders, but the way they squeezed around your flesh reminded you of the talons you had seen him grow with his quirk, sharp nails sinking without a warning and driving more half-hearted cries out of your throat. You looked like a mess now, lips still plump from the force of his kiss, mixed spit clinging to your face from it, fat tears freely cascading down your cheeks.

   “But… Y/N,” his voice was oddly soft when he addressed you again. There was a timid smile back on his face, one that reminded you of the friend you refused to believe no longer existed, and you briefly wondered if you had finally gotten through to him despite the unflinching strength of his grip, “I’ve never felt better.”

   He genuinely sounded so relieved too, so content with the dark implications behind his words, that you felt the blood become icy currents in your veins, liquid fear being pumped instead in its place. Before you even realized your course of actions, you were leaning your head to the side and biting down on one of his arms with everything you had.

   Tamaki was the one groaning then, retreating his hands instinctively and giving you the spare second you needed before you were jumping from the sofa and diving for the door.

  It’s unlocked, was all you could think about as you leapt to the exit. You could get away if you just managed to cross it, run until your legs gave up on you. You could go to your boyfriend’s place and wait there until you had enough courage to reach out to the police, to a hero —to anyone who could help you. Things could still be fixed.  

  And maybe, just maybe, the silliest part of you added, whatever was clouding your best friend’s senses would magically be gone once you had gotten away from his grasp.

  You never knew how to quit, truly. But it was okay, he liked that about you too.  

  A suffocated cry was all the sound you could make as you were fiercely shoved to the floor, your face smashing against the carpet and your nose making a horrifying sound before your entire head felt like it was on fire. The white-hot pain was all you could think of, the dam lifting entirely from your eyes as tears trickled down your cheeks in copious amounts.

  “D-don’t make me hurt y-you,” Tamaki didn’t sound at all winded, but anxious, pained himself from the wounds he had to inflict on you, “I want to make you feel good, not like… like this.”

  Which only made it more fucked up when, once you started fighting again, you felt the unmistakable pressure of a growing erection pushing against your lower back. As pained as you were, you willed yourself to keep struggling after that, trying fruitlessly to get away or somehow kick him, bite him, do anything in your power.  

  In all honesty, it only made him get more excited. He really was a sick, sick man. But only for you.

  “Stop, Y/N,” Tamaki pleaded in hushed whispers, his hands shaking as he tried to comb your hair out of the way. There was blood pooling around your face, flowing freely from the place your nose had smashed into the floor. You could barely breathe through it, your mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water as you attempted to otherwise fill your lungs through panicked gasps, "If you… if you stop, I’ll stop too.”  

  It was easy to recognize the lie as soon as it was uttered, a poor excuse for deceit as his hips stuttered into yours almost of their own volition. You heard him curse then, right as you both noticed that all your wrestling did was just press yourself harder against his arousal.

   However, before you could voice your growing terror, one of his hands was suddenly on your back, drawing circles in a mocking imitation of how you had tried comforting him earlier. The sickness in the pit of your stomach at that gesture, that feeble attempt at consolation, was all you could think about as the tears of impotence continued furiously trickling down your cheek.  

   You were disgusted, not only at the monster humping you as he continued mumbling poor excuses and null reassurances, but also sick at yourself for willingly going there to attempt to help him in the first place. You couldn’t believe part of you still stuttered to call him your friend moments ago, yet, even through your disgust, you’d also be lying if you didn’t admit how hard it was reconciling your aggressor with the soft spoken boy you had grown to foolishly treasure.

   “I’ve wanted you for so long,” his voice tickled one of your ears as he allowed himself to continue resting more and more of his weight on you, almost suffocating you under the pressure. He wasn’t even pretending like his hands weren’t wandering now, palms still mockingly gentle in their nervousness, but stopping his poor attempts at consolation long enough to grip your shirt and lift it up. “I don’t even remember what it felt like not to want you.”

   You wished you could scream again, but breathing was already such a laborious task between your fractured nose and Tamaki’s hold. When you refused to turn on your back after he gently nudged you, his hands just closed tighter around your top and tore it apart from your body, leaving you shivering —not due to the cold but due to a fear and impotence that trumped any temperature.  

   Then, because he couldn’t even leave you to suffer in peace, you felt the torn fabric of your shirt being pressed against the side of your face, prodding you with a meekness that felt completely out of place as the cloth started to soak in the blood gathering around you.

   “Press it against your nose, so it stops the bleeding.” He continued softly tapping it against your cheek until your unharmed hand went to roughly retrieve it out of his and do as he preached.

  You could’ve told him nosebleeds didn’t exactly work like that when you had a busted nose, that just pressing a piece of cloth wasn’t going to help your case much (or that his kindness was void, when he was the reason you why were bleeding in the first place), but all of that implied talking, and right now all you wanted to do was shut up, pass out, dissociate. Whatever it took to ignore his fingers now drifting to the hem of your pants.

  Yet he just wanted to take care of you. So why wouldn’t you let him? You were making it so difficult, when all Tamaki only ever wanted was to make you feel loved. Loved by him.  

  “You… hmm, you aren’t going to trust me right now,” it appeared like he was fidgeting with the waistband of your work pants as he drew out the admission, the thrumming in his voice sheepish and uncertain. It reminded you of how he would sound like when he attempted to talk to strangers, forcing himself into being pro-hero levels of courageous just so he could exchange a few words, “But that’s okay, Y/N, because you’ll understand.” One of his hands ghosted the plush curve of your ass, so lightly that you could’ve thought you imagined it in any other situation, “And when you do, you… you can break up with your boyfriend then. Things can go back to how they were. To just us.”

  The image of your partner crowded your thoughts then, his kind smile being conjured up in your mind as you heard your pants being torn apart next. It was enough to have you openly sobbing, biting down on the fabric of your ruined shirt as you tried to quiet down the sound of your own grief.

  But you’d thank him soon, once you understood. You already loved him before…so how hard could it be to love him again, but properly this time? To show him how much he knew you cared.  

  Once the remnants of your pants were thrown aside as well, you didn’t even get the luxury to cross your legs and put any kind of further struggle. Tamaki sat up on top of you, relenting the pressure in your chest and waist but comfortably setting himself on your hips, his legs encasing your thighs in an inescapable prison.  

  You could almost sense his eyes scanning your exposed flesh, hear his delirious muttering as his fingers got greedier and greedier in the paths they weaved across your body, the quick circles from before being exchanged by longer, drawn out movements. It felt like he was memorizing a map, with every little scar and indent in your complexion being the marks leading down to a hidden treasure, wonders to marvel at and inspect.  

 “I’m sorry, but I’ve dreamed of this for so long…” His tone was barely above a reverent whisper as you felt him finally reach your bra, unclasping it with a shaking that could only be attributed to unrestrained excitement, “dreamt of you even while awake.” He parted the fabric and left it precariously hanging off your sides on the carpeted floor, hands ceremoniously splaying across your shoulder blades next, “But you feel so different from anything I could’ve come up with. So much softer.”

  His lips were on your back in an instant, almost as if he just couldn’t help himself, and he was sucking and licking while trying to cover up the sounds of his own elation. The slow grinding against your backside had stopped, though, and the weight of his heated groin lifted from your back for the first time since you had been crushed to the floor. It was such a relief, to be able to move again (even if you weren’t foolish enough to try and get away by that point), that you didn’t even realize the alleviated sigh managing to escape your mouth until it was too late.  

  You felt Tamaki’s lips curling against your spine, the satisfaction in his gesture crystal clear.  

  “Does this feel good, bunny?,” he asked you in a pleased little rumble, mistaking your sounds of relief for something else altogether. “Does it feel good when I kiss you like this?” He pointed his question by leaving another sloppy flutter of his lips against the nape of your neck.  

   But then his presence disappeared from your back altogether, a moment so brief that hopefulness could not even begin to be reborn before it was crushed at your feet. Because before you could savour the retreat,Tamaki was now grasping and lifting your hips with his arms, deft hands sliding the lone piece of underwear still hiding your modesty from his prying eyes.  

 You briefly wondered why he hadn’t just ripped it apart like he’d done with the rest of the items that got in the way, but the distinct sound of someone sniffing gave you all the answers you needed. Deep, earnest inhales followed by a purr of satisfaction. Goosebumps blossomed across your body from disgust.  

  But to him, that was just another sign of you being into it. You were just too stubborn to admit it, weren’t you, bunny?

  “I’ll make sure to kiss you all over.” Your eyes were closed with such force, your intact hand losing colour from the strength you were using to grip the torn piece of fabric against your mouth. “If… if I’m honest”, and he was back to sounding sheepish, contradictorily embarrassed as if he wasn’t the one carrying out the assault, “Bunny, I’ve been wondering how your moans sound for the longest time, too.”

  If you weren’t as determined not to let a single sound slip out, you would’ve gagged. But all thoughts of Tamaki’s words were soon replaced by his actions, cold calloused hands snaking between your legs as the pro-hero’s arms kept a secured grip that made sure you could not wiggle out of his grasp. He was hunching over you again, dark purple hair tickling your thighs, and your exposed entrance twitched as a gust of air was blown directly into it.  

  You wanted so badly to cry out, to protest again, but you were afraid of ever loosening your grip on the fabric that covered your mouth. So instead you tried to steer your body, not to get away but to move your damaged hand until it was being crushed by your own chest, new waves of pain radiating off of it in order to distract you.

 Were you that afraid of liking it, that you’d take your own pain over the pleasure he’d deliver?

  “Bunny,” he groaned that nickname again, laying a bed of kisses across your inner thighs, slobbering and disorganized while his hands kneaded your flesh with acute urgency. “Y/N…”, your name was chanted like prayer, the holiest of incantations being whispered into the flourishing goosebumps of your inner legs.

  It was hard not to squirm when you physically felt his voice reverberating through your body, when the hands holding you up were so excruciatingly close to your now quivering hole. Even while fear coursed through your veins, what you dreaded the most was the way heat was starting to pool in your stomach.  

  You tried pressing harder against the limp hand below you, but Tamaki’s arms steadied you from their place around your legs before you had the chance to properly act.  

  “Stop trying to hurt yourself, please,” and to his credit, he actually sounded anguished himself, although you doubted it was due to the same reasons you were currently suffering. “I want to make you feel good, bunny. Please… please let me.”

  He was kissing the skin of your thighs again before you had the opportunity to argue (not that you’d consider willingly opening your mouth again by that point). Your assailant trailed a path of shivers until he was hovering over your mound, tickling you with his quickened breathing as a wanton groan reached your ears.  

  “So beautiful,“ and his nose was pressing against you, face nuzzling your cunt with such an affection that only helped to make you feel infinitely dirtier, his voice dripping with reverence. “My bunny’s beautiful little pussy.”

  You were wriggling again before you could attempt to calm yourself down, the alarms that had never stopped blaring now drowning any other thoughts circling your mind. But you had nowhere to go, nowhere to escape, and before another moment passed your entire body was tensing up again when you felt a wet appendage slowly licking up your folds.

  He explored you through the movements of his tongue, guttural sounds of appraisal being smothered as he tasted your plush folds for the very first time. Even without the aid of his arms, still holding you up as they were, it was becoming increasingly obvious that he did not need them in order to thoroughly savour you.

  So long he had been deprived of all sustenance, teased by your hugs and touches and left to starve while you went to seek affection elsewhere. Maybe he was undeserving, but could anyone blame him for finally snapping after so long? For finally, for once, daring to be selfish enough to demand.

  “Delicious,” his trembling compliment was proclaimed between licks, lips slowly journeying their way to your clit before he was audibly sucking it in, his own whines echoing through your entire body once more and making you bite down harder on the bloodstained cloth. “And… you’re getting wet for me too,“ which was only accentuated by the lascivious sounds he made as he started lapping at your rapidly gathering juices. “Am I making you feel good, bunny?”

  Shut up, you wanted to scream, shut up and just be done with it. But it was getting so hard to concentrate, your fingers cramping from the force you were using to keep the piece of your torn up shirt tightly in place. He kept gingerly savouring your unwilling excitement, relentless in the way his tongue continued teasing and prodding, even dipping into your heat as his gluttony for you became an unbearable constant.  

  When you felt one of his hands descend from your thighs, the sound of a belt being unbuckled, your eyes opened up again in fear. You almost stopped biting down on your shirt in order to voice one last protest, but then his mouth was wrapping itself harder still around your bundle of nerves —shoots of a pleasure you tried to ignore warming their way further up your stomach as the unwanted thrills in your gut built up to a crescendo.

  “Fu… fuck, Bunny,” he sounded so needy between the squelching sounds filling the darkened room. “Are you gonna cum for me?”

  You shook your head as the pressure kept building up, muscles cramping and your one free leg attempting to kick him out fruitlessly. Your head was filled with the cries you could not voice, heavy with an agony that far exceeded any physical turmoil. You wished the pain was enough to pass out, to mute the heat coiling up further and further, but such was your plight that not even the faintest mercy was granted.  

  Although even your silent rejection only served as encouragement in Tamaki’s mind. It was the first time you were acknowledging him, the first time you were responding to any of his comments after he had tackled you to the floor. Even with your mouth covered, the tears now dried against your mascara stricken cheeks, it felt to him like the sign he had been waiting for.  

  It only drove him madder.

  You heard clothing being tugged down while he kept the eager rhythm of his tongue on you, pants and boxers being discarded in one go to free a surely painfully aching erection. Not long after that, his breathing became even more ragged against your core, one of his shoulders moving against your thighs rhythmically while his previously free hand stroked himself for some much needed relief.

  The sounds he started to make, accompanied by the slow pace he was setting as he tugged at his own cock against your dangling legs, were ones of desperation and debauchery—whines that filled you up right alongside his intruding tongue. It made you curl your toes, close your eyes again as you tried and failed to will the sensations away.  

  You thought your teeth would snap at any moment too, just from how furiously you were biting down. Yet your cunt kept pulsating against his flushed face, answering to his relentless teasing by coating his mouth in more your juices, strings of saliva mingling with them as you felt the wetness gathering around his chin too.  

  “You… you don’t need to fight it,“ he was whispering right into you, humming the sounds until they were forcing themselves inside right alongside his tongue. “You can cum, Y/N,” and with the hand he wasn’t touching himself with, he finally freed your other thigh as well, opting instead to trail a path with his extended palm until he was reaching out for your face.

  You were so tired, so preoccupied with the unwanted pleasure clouding your vision, that the thought of attempting to escape again didn’t even cross your mind. Both of your legs were now limp, supported only by his shoulders positioned below them, and the sounds filling the air were wet, squelching and downright sinful.  

  Which was why, when his palm started caressing your cheek, you were too far gone to run from the new coercive intimacy of his touch. His tongue was pulsating in and out of you, and yet your insides felt impossibly warm, impossibly empty.  

  “Bunny,“ that damned pet name again. It was something you remembered him calling you first after a particularly bad panic attack, sheepishly whispered as you held him and rocked the both of you in a calming motion. Only now it sounded absolutely depraved, filled with a lust that terrified you, and the word sullied as it was now half-moaned while Tamaki jerked himself off to your torment.  

  Or was it pleasure at that point? You kept wriggling, but he didnt think you wanted to get away anymore.  

  Some part of you noticed his rough fingers drawing circles again into the covered side of your face, another cruel joke that mimicked the way in which you had always thought appropriate to soothe him.  

  “Please,” he begged you and kept repeating it, mixing in the pleads with the insistent licks of his tongue, the shaking in his own face warning you of the furious pace his other hand was now setting for himself.

  Please, please, please. Bunny, please.

  Your orgasm hit you with a force that left you breathless, gasping for air and with a new current of despair trailing down from your dazed eyes, mimicking the arousal surely dripping down his lips.  

  You had never felt something like what you were experiencing, an orgasm so potent that it transformed your body into such a limp and pliant thing, enticing your mind into a forceful lull as Tamaki dedicated himself to drinking every last drop you unwillingly offered.

  To your subsequent shame, the hand tenderly holding you pried the crumpled shirt away from your mouth. He was finally freeing the sounds you so selfishly kept from him, and by that point you were too far gone to think of stopping him, your cries and wails filling up the shadows of the room until they were bursting at the seams.  

  It felt like forever as you kept cumming and cumming, feeling like you were forcefully plunged from one climax straight into the next. Tamaki refused to separate from your heat, instead opting for continuing to mouth his appreciation right into your tender flesh.  

  “So gorgeous for me. So good. My sweet little bunny,” he wasn’t even trying to be coherent at that point, rapidly reaching his own peak now that he had you breaking down underneath him, now that he could finally witness your undoing at his hands.

  While your orgasm reached its shaking end, however, your cunt clenching against nothing as Tamaki’s face finally left it alone and pulled back, you were again too preoccupied with the aftermath of your own pleasure to sense anything amiss. You failed to acknowledge the pause in his own movements, how his hand had stopped his own ministrations in order to reach out for your glistening folds instead, nervous digits twitching as they gathered your juices between them.  

  It almost hurt when he trailed your sex, your flesh sensitive still from the force of the after shakes still coursing through your body. A new unfiltered whine left your throat, jaw starting to ache from all the strength you had previously used in your bid to keep those very same sounds securely muted.  

  “Tamaki, please…” You sobbed, intending on pleading with him to stop, to grant you the mercy of wallowing in your shame all by yourself.  

  But all he could hear was the intoxicating sound of his name on your lips, your tone heavy from exhaustion and being utterly spent. It was the greatest melody you could’ve provided him with.

  “F-fuck,” his exclamation was equal parts devotion and raw need.  

  After his fingers were retreating, it wasn’t long before you felt him lowering your hips gently. The warm pressure of his cock prodded at your entrance, already coated with your fluids and only getting messier as Tamaki trailed it up and down your slit.

  “No, wait. Tamaki, wait,“ your voice was distraught and still feeble, what little struggle that still managed to cling to you coming back with a reckoning as a new kind of panic started setting in.  

  Of course he wasn’t wearing a condom, and of course your pleas did little to stop him now. A heartfelt sound of protest shook your vocal cords as he slowly breached your cunt, his cock sliding in inch by inch while drawing long, wet sounds out of you.

  In reality, all he could hear was the sound of his name on your lips. You could’ve been insulting him with all of your might, Tamaki didn’t think he’d be able to stop himself even if he wanted to.

  “Fuck, Bunny,” his hands fluttered between your thighs in hiccuped movements, fingers stretching your nether lips in order to give himself a better view of the place where your bodies joined, the sacrilegious union he had oh so desired for years now. “So,, he kept breaking into you inch by inch, “fucking,“ the length of him feeling eternal as he sheathed himself, “perfect.”

  You had barely any time to adjust to being stuffed before apologies were scattering out of his mouth, actions contradicting as his hips rut into you, hands making sure to keep you on display for his gluttonous eyes. It was your new brand of torment— how snug he fitted inside, how full you felt and the way his shaft curved just enough to quickly turn any discomfort you were first experiencing on its head. You wanted to feel pain, but even that was out of your reach too.

  You were chasing after a distraction, but why did you need to be running in the first place? You needed only to keep still, lay back and let your best friend take care of you for once.

  The pace he set was slow, excruciatingly so as he savoured the way in which your cunt clenched around him, the way your walls spasmed with the memory of the orgasms he gifted you with earlier. He kept hitting that spot every few shallow thrusts too, the patch of skin on your insides that made you grind your teeth while whines still somehow managed to leak out. It was with maddening guilt, then, that your mind realized the extent with which your body truly welcomed him.  

  You felt dirty, violated by a man you had trusted for years, someone you had considered family beyond reproach. And while he kept drilling into you in that leisure way of his, you couldn’t help but wonder what exactly you had done to get him to obsess over you like that. What exactly you could’ve changed to stop your life from being utterly ruined.  

  But with all honesty, the answer to that was nothing. Because even without the pressure of your new boyfriend to pull him into motion, Tamaki doubted he would’ve been able to keep himself from you for much longer.

 He had loved you for so long and for so many different reasons; Your laughter which was the greatest symphony to his ears, the kindness you had always embraced him with, free of judgement and ulterior motives. Your caring soul, too, and the way in which he just knew you understood.

  “Please, please,“ and you didn’t know why you kept begging, your mouth running off on its own accord as your body tried to squirm against your intruder’s, unclear whether it wanted to escape or get even closer. “T-Tamaki.”

  But most of all, he thought he loved the way you cried out while he fucked you now, a wrecked mess for his eyes alone.  

  “Do you think you can come again for me?” he asked you between frayed exhales, still oddly meek as the shallow thrusts into your hole made sweat drip down his skin and bathe you in its shine. “I know you must be tired but… I wanna… wanna hear it properly.” And there was an underlying greed just below his apologetic tone, a craving you wondered just how long had been there waiting to be let out, “Wanna feel it, too.”

  It appeared like his own words excited him to a notorious degree, because he was rutting into you with quicker motions now, the sound of skin slapping against skin driving the despair even further into your heart. Your afflicted hand didn’t even throb anymore, your nose barely a faint nuisance either, for all you could think about was the way you contracted around him, the way the coil in your gut was once more beginning to tighten to a feverish degree.  

  And the palm against your clit too, which had stopped pressing against it in order to extend its fingers and circle them around, prodding and pushing until you were being overwhelmed by him, devoured on the carpeted floor with a face caked in blood and a body sore and resentful yet so damned inviting.  

  Your cunt was holding him so tight, it felt like you didn’t want to let go, like you needed him there… it made Tamaki, someone who had spent his entire life feeling different degrees of inadequate, think he had finally found a place to belong to.

  “Shit, Y/N, you’re… really gonna cum again? For me?” You didn’t want to hear him, didn’t want to feel him, but when he pulled out almost entirely you found your hips shamefully pushing back until his length was being swallowed whole again. “Fuck,” you heard him curse as his hands left your sopping folds in order to grip the meat of your backside, barely contained strength nailing you to the spot as he set a new frantic rhythm, “so… needy for me. So tight and beautiful, does my bunny want it harder now?”

  He was hitting your spot in relentless movements, his own hips stuttering as he strived to hold back his own impending end, and the groans coming out of you felt like they belonged to a different person. The tears in your eyes were still free falling, the taste of dried blood still covering your tongue as you continued audibly panting, and the tension in your muscles resembled a taut bowstring about to snap from the pressure.  

 Of course you didn’t answer, but you didn’t have to when your body spoke for you.

  His pace was bruising, his hands kneading your flesh as he angled you just enough to get even deeper inside you. Yet not deep enough.  

  “I love you so goddamn much,“ one of his palms left your rear so he could grab one of your shoulders, forcing you to arch back just as he demanded. “Let me show you just how much, baby.”

  By that point you were so tired, so drained from holding back, that you allowed him to manhandle you until your back was pressed flush against his stomach.  His palm snaked their way from your shoulders to your chest, quickly pushing what little of your unhooked bra still clung to your frame so he could fully expose your breasts to his zealous treatment.  

  Your nipples were hard already, you really were loving this, weren’t you?

  In this new position, it somehow felt like he was pushing against places you had never felt anyone reach before. Like, in a way, he was bruising your cervix with every one of his overeager thrusts, testing himself in order to go as far as your body would allow him. So fucking greedy for you.

  Tamaki kept massaging your breasts while he fucked you, sensitive nipples being lightly toyed with while he buried his face in your neck from behind for an instant. Because unable to stay still as he was, soon enough his lips had started to kiss a slobbering path of adoration upwards into the shell of one of your ears.  

  “I know you… fuck, know you don’t love me like that yet,” he sounded feverish while he continued to thrust into you, voice faltering to the weight of his own lust, “but it’s okay. Right now…” He pulled out almost entirely again, only to dive in with all the more resolve before you had the chance to buck into him a second time, “I can love you enough for the both of us.”

  And just like that, with the man you had previously considered your best friend whispering delirious nonsense behind you, his breath tickling your nape with each aggravating declaration, was when the overwhelming wave of your new orgasm hit you, shaking your entire body.

  So fucking tight and needy for him. With your body clamoring for him like it did, who could blame him for foolishly thinking you felt the same way? Even if you tried refuting it afterwards, the way your walls clenched around him so delectably was all the honesty he needed.

  Your body went limp in his hands a second time, for him to hold up and embrace as he saw fit, and you sensed the cadence of his motions grow even frenzier before finally slowing down into a sporadic rythm, his sex twitching inside you in a most telling way.  

  He was calling out your name in a litany of prayers, biting down on the skin he had gently been nursing before, teeth piercing you and joining the rest of the sensations overwhelming your spoiled body. And that was really all the warning you got before his release was spilled deep inside you, painting your walls in thick ropes of white while the remnants of your powerful orgasm proceeded to milk his cock for all it’s worth.

  Through the mess of pleasure and shame clouding your vision, your sobbing became even louder.

  “See, Y/N,” Tamaki whispered a few instants later, back to his nervous ways despite grinning timidly while his arms circled around you, “even if you tell me you care about someone else now, I’ll know you’ll never share with them what you shared with me.”

  And it was such a ridiculous thing to say, preposterous words to proclaim as he refused to pull out and let any drop of his cum leak out of your bruised hole, as the heated hands on your skin replicated the same old patterns you had taught him inadvertently, the same motions supposed to bring comfort and which in reality only made you feel fouler.

  “If you’d like, we can be an even more special type of best friends now,” he added after barely a beat, almost self-conscious when confronted with your somber silence, yet still bashfully content about the whole ordeal.

  Best friends, you repeated inwardly while his hands kept stroking you without pause, perhaps truly trying to console you, or perhaps just wanting an excuse not to leave you alone. But you were so tired, so devastated, that it wasn’t like you had the strength to refute him verbally.  

 In Tamaki’s delusional mind, however, that was as good as agreeing. You two were really meant to be. Even if you refused to be the special kind of best friends he had in mind, he could always become your boyfriend instead.  

  Not like you were ever going to see your previous one, anyways.

  …

   Probably the longest piece of writing I’ve posted so far… and the filthiest. If people like it, I might start extending the lenght of my fics! Otherwise I’ll try to keep it on the shorter side for my next portrait/fic convo (a yan!aizawa one hehe).

   And special thanks to my dearest pals @reinawritesbnha, @drxwsyni, @snappysnapo, @thermaflute​ and @coyambition​. They helped me proof read, gave me precious feedback on both my writings and my art and were just overall sweethearts hyping me up!! love y’all fr fr 🖤

🥀 Requests/Suggestions OPEN btw 🥀