#s rereads trk

[cabeswaterdrowned]

Henry’s like Gansey loves traumatized boys who occasionally do things like steal his car so I need to do something questionable to him like get him to go down a hole with me and then tell him about my trauma and how I’ve been stalking him and he’ll want to be my homoerotic best friend too. And it worked! Smart of him to confess to the stalking Last after everything else though, Gansey’s the forgiving type but that still could possibly have gone too far if he’d lead with it.

[dawning-day]

book asks #1-4, and 19 (again)(keep being a hater pls there’s GOTTA be more than just the one)

1.book you’ve reread the most times? definitely dream thieves <3 worth the damages every time. which actually makes not finishing trk even funnier

you get a cut bc i got TOO excited about the rest of these

2.top 5 books of all time?

(1) raven cycle (as a series, as they god damn deserve) (2) soc duology (also as a cohesive unit sry my ask my fuckin rules) (3) the darkest powers trilogy by kelly armstrong (i haven't thought about these books in? probably ten years? but i was trying to think of books and the memory of this series slammed itself into the top three slot that's how obsessed i was with these books as a child. no fucking clue if they hold up. don't care. i stand by this choice.) (4) prisoner of azkaban (if i think about how much they left out of the movie i WILL go insane (derogatory)) (5) looking for alaska (the most shameful thing about me is actually that i fuck with most of the john green books. but this was the one i read in my formative years)

3.what is your favourite genre? i guess ?? YA fiction?? is that a genre?? i like it when teens smoke cigarettes and sit in cars. maybe sometimes there's magic/magic adjacent shenanigans involved. whatever genre that is

4.what sections of a bookstore do you browse? this is such a cop out answer but i'm actually terrible at reading things unless someone's specifically told me it was good bc i do not like to expose myself to HURT so if i do go to a physical store i'm usually just there to browse music. however !! recently (the past like two years rly but i don't go out much) i have been getting into graphic novels so i think those would be fun to browse irl. one time i was in a vintage/antique shop and they had a little stand with comics and they had some issues from the 90's stormwatch run (my favorite dc comic of all very time) and it was the most exciting thing thats ever happened to me i think? so yeah if that happened again i would lose it probably !!

19.most disliked popular books? okay this is actually unreasonably petty of me but whatever we ball. i have absolutely DESPISED ender's game,,with the vital caveat that i haven't actually read it. when i was in high school our english class had to read THE ENTIRITY OF THE FUCKING ODYSSEY. WE WERE LIKE 14. IT TOOK SIX MONTHS. meanwhile the OTHER english class got to read the cool space kids war book. i was SEETHING in jealous rage. i still am actually why the fuck did they do this to us.

[imagine-your-party-hosts]

not me breaking down into sobs when adam parrish said, “i want it too much.”🥺🥺

[despxcable-archive]

The field was filled with cars. They were all mostly identical. They were all mostly a little strange in one way or another. They were all mostly white Mitsubishis. The grass growing up around them and the pollen clouding their windshields made the scene rather apocalyptic.

God damn I feel like this hurt less on my first read-through of trk

[bluelilylilyblue]

Jules reads cdth chapters 1-10

here is my mostly unfiltered, bordering on the slightly incomprehensible, notes/thoughts/questions/theories from my read of the first 10 chapters of call down the hawk. putting everything below that cut just in case you haven’t filtered out spoilers or you’re on mobile. anyway here is the nonsense I was spewing into my phone notes last night...

Matthew walking the ley lines/towards Cabeswater?

“The Lynch boy?” “I want the key” Old associate of niall? cause of Declan talking over that stuff in trc

that valley where the Irish cottage is sounds like Cabeswater, like the way it seems to hum and feel alive - wonder how many places like it there are in the world and if we’ll see more

so a dreamer is basically the antichrist lol

I’m gonna assume this “zed” killing org is one of the things Declan was trying to protect Ronan from in trc - they were in Ireland and Niall was from Ireland right like I’m not making that up in my head like a crazy person grasping at straws? idk y’all I didn’t do a reread- ANYWAY connection?

Matthew not driving? me too bud!

Matthew not driving because he’s failed three times? welp he is a Lynch, this is deeply unsurprising to me like Ronan is his brother (creator? dreamer dad?)

fighting about how fast/slow your sibling drives is peak relatable thank you maggie I feel seen

nightwash - black ooze (sideline I can’t decide if this is metal as hell or just gross)...related to the demon who was killing cabeswater in trk?

Ronan’s creepy dream voice reminds me of Blue and the way she feels about the stars

sidenote: I miss Blue and Gansey like a lung and every mention of them equal parts hurts me and resurrects me (lol resurrect) 

the lack of silence and magic in the world is killing Ronan? causing the nightwash? oof me too bud

the voice (Bryde) warning about the “zed” killing group

Bryde another dreamer? - like Kavinsky visiting? why is he talking to Ronan? how does he know about him?

hot art forger thief lady is my new wife

UNDERGROUND BLACK MARKET?? 

Ronan seeing Adam for the first time from far away and STILL being like  H A N D S 

Ronan praying to god for Adam has my gay former catholic ass shook..like the power that has the IMPLICATIONS

Adam having imposter syndrome is so incredibly in character but like...it hurts me

Ronan daydreaming about his and Adam’s reunion is peak hopeless romantic

do Adam’s friends suck? I can’t tell yet guess i’ll wait and see

sidenote: I feel like Adam’s friends suck because I was in a similar position to Adam in high school, I grew up in an extremely wealthy area but my family didn’t have a lot of money and everyone I went to school with, even my friends, were super shitty about that and poverty in general, so poverty jokes and having to hide parts of you to fit in fucking grinds my gears cause I heard that shit DAILY

Ronan is smart, he be SMORT

Adam lying for a fresh start hurts me MORE - but like I get it...and hate it

back to thinking he is unknowable I see

“he longed for him even while holding him” fellas is that gay?

god I fuckin hope it works

moderators being a government agency cause like of course it’s a secret government agency

visionaries...wtf they just like die??? wtf

“reality is a decision” that seems like a theme that’s gonna pop up a bunch - can Ronan control how his dream things appear in the world after he’s brought them back?

so the fairy market is where Niall would sell his dreams and Declan was selling Niall’s dreams right? gotta be. is he still? is the market connected to the key?

honestly what is Fletcher thinking walking into that disaster zone? that Adam and Ronan have a very active and kinky sex life? like what other explanation can you conjure

“She had a face that looked like it was smiling even if she wasn’t smiling.” literally why is that hot and why am I already in love with her

like fishnets??? ma’am please

okay so I love them BOTH?? twins?? with even more look a-likes?? color my scared and horny

so...we thinkin dreams/dreamers/none of the above

“The bright friendliness of her voice as she snapped a cell photos of his ID was one of the more threatening things he’d ever heard.” so Jordan and Ronan are gonna get along just fineeeeee

“You are made of dreams and this world is not for you.” literally stop. I will cry.

[poppymadness]

💖 HQ, Knb, All Out, Free, BNHAand DnA I think you watched at least a little bit of it, didn't u? And since I know who some of your favorites are already u can just rant about why u love them

@naturalpeaches said:💖 can i be an ass and say twdg even tho ik the answers p much OH the last kingdom. bring it to ur blog amber. talk about it. accept it.

💖 listen those 2 weren’t enough. give me the raven cycle. give me the foxhole court. give me six of crows. giVE ME CRIMINAL MINDS HAAAAA BITCH. why not throw the 100 in there too. also talk abt ur boo in the sun is also a star. give him some lovin

💖 N A R U T O

hope it’s cool just to throw ya both in here bc i’m lazy

haikyuu: (3) kuroo tetsurou - iiiiiiiiiiii fucking love kuroo sO much, a huge tall not so dumb dumbass god. i don’t know what to say dfkhka i fuckin Love him thanks dude. i nEVER FORGET THE FUCKIN LAUGH GOD FUCK FOR FUCKS SAKE skjfd. whenever i get in Kuroo Moods they last SO long i can’t get a break. and gamer au kuroo is killer it’s too good. listen he’S A BIG FOOL and i LOVE him want the best for him bc he’s great, good, good dude. i also rlly fuckin love terushima man ooooo my god, imagine him and kuroo bein buds hORRIBLE

kuroko no basket: (1) kiyoshi teppei - mY BOY KIYOSHI AAAAA. hE’S EVEN T A L L E R mmmm 6′4″ the fuck mann. we know my love for this dumbass i love him so so muuch fuck. thought it was kuroko at first, bitch no. I LITERALLY DIDN’T KNOW I LOVED HIM TILL AFTER I FINISHED THE WHOLE SHOW. like, just, the more i saw stuff involving him the more i was like ooo no no waiT i LoVE HiM i screamed when he showed up in the second opening when we rewatched it oooommggggg. he’S SO GOOD I HOPE HIS KNEE IS HEALED I HOPE HE GETS TO PLAY BASKETBALL AS A LIL SIDE HOBBY OR SOMETHIN HOPE HE’S FUCKIN HAPPY!!!!! whY DOES HE SELF-SACRIFICE SO MUCH BOY OOO MY GOD WHEN HE REALIZED THE TEAM GOT HIS BACK TOO BITCH HE SO CUTE. mmmmm  i love hiiiiim bois. also love akashi i keep finding it funny ur intimated by him cj

all out: (4) ebumi masaru - i can’t. i can’t explain why i love him oR WHY HE’S SO HIGH A FAVE GOD. this whole fandom is like Those Thighs and make ebumi all about fuckin sex like what a Tough Boy like yA HE BUYS (rents? whatever) PORN THAT’S FUCKIN SO FUNNY TO ME BUT MMMM he. more. i nevER STOP THINKIN BOUT THE EP WITH ISE THAT EMO SHIT DO U SEE HOW MUCH EBUMI CARES BOUT HIS FRIEND GOD Fuck. like yeah, just take the money. this is what was left for me but idc here take it u need it i stg season 2 better be in the works i want more of his backSTORY. oh hE FUCKIN BLEACHES HIS HAIR WHAT A PUUUUNK, HE TRAINS SO HARD HE CARES SO MUCH ABOUT RUGBY GETS P I S S E D WHEN PPL HALF-ASS IT LIKE?? FAIR ENOUGH. OH THETY ACTUALLY DREW HIS HAIR DOWN RIGHT ADJHF A OoO FUCK TAHT. i’m good it’s cool alright bye gion, raita & ise are my best friends thank

free: rin matsuoka - i. thought it was nagisa at first. i wanna cry fuckin nagisa jesus. good boy but hell no. rin?? is so sweet i’m sorry fuckin flew haru to australia & shit he’s so good i love him. i gotta do this i’m srry FUCK whoever thinks rin would be abusive with haru thx. i havE A RIN POSTER G O D

boku no hero academia: todoroki shouto - i literally didn’t have a fave in this show until one (1) specific episode in season 2 with him. thought i was gonna live forever not having a fave in this show. i had actually been growing to like him and was like No, i told myself to not like him bc he’s so popular hdkfa. and then that ep came and i was like,,,oof i Love him, love love love what a goOD BOY. he’s…so cute..comin to terms with his powers still can’t get over he interned with his dad he just…..wants to improve…is improving…..so good.

daiya no ace: ? - ok, i never developed a fave while watching it, at least not where i got to. i don’t even remember where i stopped oof that’s bad. but i had thought at that time that i rlly loved chris?? eijun is precious, i fuckin love him. miyuki is great i love him too. also really loved kuramochi?? so if i had continued i think it would’ve been one of em.

the walking dead game: kenny, luke, clem, gabe - pls don’t make me choose… kenny…tried his hardest to be good, worked his ass off till the last moment to improve himself and didn’t get the redemption he deserved. that man is good, he was just pushed to his max and couldn’t get back down. luke, luke is a sunshine boy who was too good for the world, a positive outlet could make anyone happy, did his best, didn’t deserve to die. cleM MY BADASS B A B Y HAS GROWN SO MUCH I LOOOOVE HER AND CAN’T WAIT FOR HER HAPPY ENDING TELLTALE YOU FUCKS I AM BEGGING YOU1!! gabe…annoyed me at first…stole my heart….just a boy thrown into the apocalypse tryin to be happy…he’s doing his best, he’s learning, truly not such a brat as assholes make him out to be. nick my boy i’m so sorry i would’ve included you ur so close

the last kingdom: uhtred & alfred - i love uhtred the godless and king alfred of wessex very much indeed. uhtred is just a wreck honestly, this danish bro got a lot goin on he just wants the land he deserves i just say he’s bein greedy, go be happy under alfred’s rule i still love u tho uhtred u dumbass. alfred! got the peace he wanted! i love alfred so much he wants to be a king without war unless he’s not given the choice, cares about his family so much, afraid he’ll be punished for the crown that’s not rightfully his own. alfred is so good, i love this man.

the raven cycle: (5) adam parrish - mmmmmmm what a good boy. an important boy, a very much loved boy. iiiii hate havin his pov sometimes, some relatable things in there, i love him so much. he’s not. his father. thanks. gotta say that a lot wanT HIM TO KNOOOOOOOW. he’s so good he’s improving himself he’s doin it!! go adam!! goD ASHLETY I KEEP THINKING OF THINGS YOU HAVEN’T GOTTEN TOOOOOOOO. mmmm it’s ok to still be stuck and to have bad days he doesn’t have to get over it right away!! it’s not somethin that’ll just be over!! dhfad smALL STEPS my boy i love u…. all bc, he…legally free (tryin not to spoil dfhjdaf).. don’t mean he has to be over it…take ur time adam. i’m thinkin of the emo thing in trk fuck wrong devil dkhfad. i just wanna cry he’s so good worth so much ronan & i will fight any and all fucks who wanna Go. i!! love him!! he deserVES TO FEEL LOVED AND TO FEEL HOW TO LOVE MMMM COOL i’m gonna stop i’ll just repeat myself - i just thOUGHT OF THE ‘FUCK YOU GANSEY’ WOW FIRST BOOK FUCK B YE

the foxhole court: …andrew minyard… - idk man?? it’s so lowkey?? it’s chill i literally don’t even have anything to say. nicky, neil & dan are my squad love em.

six of crows: jesper fahey - idk what fuckin bitch ass mood i had to be in when i read soc but if i wasn’t in it jesper would totally have been my fave. i wouldn’t take him away from wylan anyways (statement kiiinda counts for the two aforementioned also whoop). jesper?? deserves the world, but so does everyone else they all deserve the world even u bitch ass brekker who would not deal with my bullshit ever. 

criminal minds: aaron hotchner - god ashley screw off askin me for cm. love hotch, would die for him, too good of a guy.

the 100: bellamy blake - is a fuckin whore. iiiiiii love bellamy so much. bitch ass goes from a punk i hated to a good dude to a punk ass influenced by some huge ass prick dick and then struggles with himself for the next season and will now hopefully feel a bit better at least for gods sake. all bc you’ve done bad things doesn’t mean ur bad bell… i still never get over fucking pike taking advantage of him when he was vulnerable fuck off i just want him to feel better!! take responsibility but don’t let it push you down fucking get up!! you’ll get up!! mmm he’s so good he just wants to make everything right but clarke makes everyTHING FUCKIN GO WRONG. i just…not everything is excusable but he can make up for it he will and he’s worth it,,,, people gotta forgive him at some point he’s trying his hardest to make up for everything and he keeps beating himself on it mmmmdfahdf i love him

the sun is also a star: daniel jae ho bae - idk what to say about him ashley god fuck. he’s so cute though?? what a cheesy dude. ugh literally so cute i gotta reread it

naruto: kiba inuzuka - what a prideful ass i fuckIN LOVe him thx. i mean i was fuckin doomed from that start he has best boy akamaru & fuckin has a jutsu where he turns into a wolf?? and his fuckin mom and sister have wolves?? doomed before i even fuckin knew it. he’s soooo cute, never take his fuckin hoodie off idk what’s cuter him trying to look tough in that hoodie that everyone literally thought was hair or havin the hoodie off and showin his actual hair that somehow makes him cuter,,, what’S HORRIBLE IS THE LEATHER JACKET OR WHATEVER IT IS HE WEARS IN SHIPPUDEN fuckin idiot. imagine him as hokage i can’t believe he wants to be hokage it’s so funny i’m sorry kiba i’ll support u just give me a minute to catch my breath. guys he’s just so cute, trains so hard, he’s so good i love him enthusiastic boy

[wanderlustwinterland]

Five OTPs, five fandoms, then pass it on.

Five OTPs, five fandoms, then pass it on. (a wee bit late to the party) I was tagged by @henrymarsette Sweet blessing<3 Alright kiddies, this is gonna be hard. (Not in any particular order) 1. The Raven Cycle (TRB, TDT, BLLB, TRK) ~ Adam Parrish/Ronan Lynch. because this series is home and these are my boys, Adam was my first lighthouse in the sea for representation and holds a special warm place in my lil bisexual heart. 2. Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe ~ Aristotle Mendoza/Dante Quintana. My sweet boys… This book really made itself at home in my chest. I think I believe the first words that made me fall in love with the book were… ”I was fifteen. I was bored. I was miserable.” Because hey!!! me too!!! Plus the relationship Ari and his mother had… and the words that made you feel like you were really there. In that moment. That you were living it. The book felt like home at the very beginning. 3. Simon vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda ~ Simon/Blue Really… This book is just great. It’s short and cute and really does not get enough attention. I’ve read it three times and each time it’s only taken a day to read, thinking about reading it some time soon again actually… 4. Six of Crows ~ Nina Zenik/Matthias Helvar It’s been a while sense I read SOC to be quite honest, with school in the way I haven’t been in the best place to reread it and can’t say much about this couple. The only thing I remember is LOVING the HECK out of them. I mean I loved all of the ships in Six Of Crows(MinusInej/Kaz)(oopssorrynotsorry)(neverreallysawthemasacouplesoimotreallythereforit) But I was especially fond of these two. Jesper/Wylan are a very very close second. 5. Avatar; The Last Airbender ~ Aang/Katara O K A Y. I’ve been rewatching Avatar lately and let. me. tell. you. my FRIEND my PAL I am O B S E S S E D MK. I love them, I love everything about the show. My heart is breaking because I finished rewatching it not too long ago and I am having a very hard time moving on. I watched Legend Of Korra and let me tell you it did not fill the gaping hole in my heart.(but it did kind of in the middle there... Don’t you get me STARTED about Kai and Jinora) I miss the GANG. Now let me talk about the ship. They are just meant to be. I mean, I’m not always into relationships that are just there at the get go without any sort of established relationship. But they didn’t exactly RUSH into anything, really. It was just a lil crush thing, they were friends, they joked around as friends do and were never really a couple couple until at the end there. (Sorry spoilers) and it’s just so cuuuttteee. So nicely established. BETTERTHANZUKO/KATARA*COUGH*YOUKNOWWHOYOUARE. relationship. :3 So good. So good. idk I’m lazy and can’t think of anyone who hasn't already been tagged. Tag yourselves c:

[zielenna]

hello I have come to invade your inbox again: 1, 2, 6, 9 for books!

1. a book you loved?

i struggled here - there are books i read & enjoyed a lot, a lot - but i’ve mentioned it here? i mean, winterson’s lighthousekeeping, carson’s autobiography of red, and atwood’s cat’s eye. 

so i’ll go with the mill on the floss by george eliot. it’s a very - proper - novel, a bildungsroman with an instructive streak which is apparent, but not obnoxious, i wouldn’t say. the heart of the book is a conflict between a sister and a brother - to put it crudely, he doesn’t approve of her & she needs his approval. what made it work for me is that maggie is intensely relatable but tom - whom my subject mates hated rather easily - is a character i would admire if he were more self-aware. i spent some time here, writing and writing on characters who are hard-working & disciplined - & tom is, but he’s also horrible. still, i couldn’t just dismiss him & i was following it closely - will they or will they not reconcile? (will he or will he not stay a horrible person?) & it was new, because we are now - i think? - more used to caring intensely about…well, romantic dynamics / relationships more than platonic / familial, so it felt new, to be so invested in a conflict between siblings. 

there are more things there - this book, despite its focus on maggie’s mostly unhappy life, is terribly funny at times. & it’s very skilfull where maggie’s bad choice love interest comes on to scene: you know stephen doesn’t work, you’re conflicted? it uses funny relatable scenes to attach you and then it kicks you in the gut. & finally, as i said, it’s a very moral novel - & i’m still interested in the characters who’re trying to do the right thing. 

2. a book you hated?

i’ve mentioned this, but penelopiad by margaret atwood. i…usually like atwood? i would say so. but penelopiad is the disappointment of this year (well, trk is another but i gave up after 140 pages so). it’s, as the name would suggest, a re-telling of odyssey from penelope’s point of view. & although atwood gave a good lecture on how you should not screw female characters for the sake of other female characters (among other things) she does…the same thing? any sentence she writes on helen is…wrong. also she almost hints that telemachus is somehow queer, only for it to be revealed that he didn’t praise helen’s beauty because he didn’t want to hurt his mum’s delicate feelings. jesus. i deserve - i don’t know, a cup of hot chocolate or whatever we do to comfort people - for every time an author makes me thing a character is queer and then does - this. i like this quote though. 

 6. a book that was super frustrating?

ha…this has to be far from the madding crowd by thomas hardy. i was…reading it just after i finished jane eyre & the difference was…apparent. i hated it intensely when i read it, also because i messed up my reading schedule & had to plow through 280 pages on a single day with a pack of stale biscuits as my only comfort. this was the book i texted in capslock about. but, i came around. i still find the descriptions of sheep breeding / caring excessive, but what bothered me most, which is, misogyny i feel would be more appropriately read as free indirect speech, so the male characters’ views rather than the narrator’s? because at some point, it doesn’t work anymore. you can’t think hardy genuinely means this, considering that he wrote bathsheba, too. so, not only he doesn’t think this, but he also ridicules it? he’s easy to rip on, but i don’t feel it’s fair to take sentence-long quotes out of context & treat it as evidence for his views (which is what i did, ofc. but i needed to cope somehow). i’m still not sold on the romance - i like the, what - the mission statement, but it’s not…engaging? at all. & oak and bathsheba’s dynamic is mostly oak lecturing her, which i’m not too excited about. anyway - an awful read, a bearable book & i loved the secondary reading, so i’m not unhappy i had to read it.

 9. a book you learned from?

so, an unobvious answer would be four quartets by t.s. eliot. i didn’t learn so much from reading but from studying it / writing the essay afterwards. mostly, i learned how much work i can take. 40h in four days is my limit & the week afterward (last week of the term) i spent numb, achieving the absolute minimum & speed-writing a shitty essay because i just didn’t care anymore. eliot though. i felt i didn’t understand him at all? so i needed to do so much more critical reading & close reading & close rereading. he references an awful lot of obscure texts (like, st john of the cross’ ascent of mount carmel. who knows this? i didn’t). i focused on getting the references down first & then went from there. what i also learnt was that i could write, if spiteful enough, an essay with no semi-colons in it. my supervisor, giving me the feedback on the previous one, counted the semi-colons i used by hand (it was thirty seven so. i get it’s a problem. still) so i limited my punctuation to commas and periods. & finally, even though this was the essay i sweated blood over, it was still not great? it was good as an analysis / explanation of what eliot does, but not of how he does it, which. was the point. but, as with every camb essay, i learned ‘good enough’ is…really, really great. also, i think four quartets is a great piece of - can’t say writing because i wouldn’t be able to substantiate that, but - a great piece of thinking? i liked the stuff i wrote about, i mean.

an obvious answer is how to read a poem by terry eagleton. i - didn’t learn how to read a poem, no - but i liked the chapter on the carnation theory / fallacy & it made me think differently. so, the high school mode of analysing poetry, when we did this, was to find as many links between vaguely understood form & content. as in, the speaker says forest leaves grass and the repetition of s gives an impression of a murmur one would hear in the forest, as the leaves and grass move on the wind. and so on. so terry eagleton takes this and says - this is a fallacy. words aren’t their meanings (sign signifier blah). which forced me to look more critically at my responses to poetry - because i used to do that, i used to look for these links, so it felt counterintuitive - not to? also, the fact it’s carnation theory, like incarnation, gives such a religious taste to it - is the word the body? & i can’t say much more than that, because i read the book half a year ago, but i remember intensely enjoying this. 

[cabeswaterdrowned]

When the boy of your dreams kisses you then tries to kill you in less than 24 hours. justronanlynchtingz

[cabeswaterdrowned]

I love that Ronan is fascinated and amazed watching Adam as a psychic/magicians. Similar to Adam comparing his dreaming to god in the last book. It’s interesting that Ronan isn’t a fan of psychics as a concept and Adam isn’t big on god as a concept but they love what those concepts mean to the other person

[cabeswaterdrowned]

It really is so disheartening that when Henry is longing to be friends with the Gangsey Ronan and Adam are included in that, meanwhile Ronan and Adam are being completely nasty and racist cunts about him. And it’s never addressed .. like the storyline has a lot of issues regardless but if Henry was allowed to be mean-spirited back at them either in his thoughts or interactions wise I would feel significantly better

[cabeswaterdrowned]

The parallel between Henry and Gansey being so eloquent in the eyes of people around them, but then for them it’s my “native language was thought” or “my words are weapons of destructive and I’ve come unequipped to disarm them”

[cabeswaterdrowned]

Ronan’s view of Niall dreaming Aurora is wayy too sympathetic/generous for my tastes. I understand why but still. Annoying!

[cabeswaterdrowned]

Have seen differing takes on whether Gansey figures out Ronan is gay in the ‘Gansey understood something about Ronan’ bit or if he understands his feelings for Adam specifically in that moment I personally prefer the latter read I think it makes more sense. There are earlier scenes like when Ronan says his soul is in peril enough as it is in tdt and Gansey has a subtle reaction, the Kavinsky stuff etc. where I think you could easily read that Gansey knows or suspects Ronan is gay, but then again I also think Gansey is comfortable living in a state of plausible deniability about a lot of things and. His life is a tad easier if he does not think about his friends potentially being attracted to men I’ll say it like that. So it could be like. An adjustment in level of understanding / letting himself understand something but in the context (him realizing when he hears Ronan’s voice change in response to Adam) I do think it’s Ronan’s feelings for Adam he realizes. Either way the implication that he thinks Ronan either came out to Adam or confessed some type of feelings to him and Adam reacted badly is interesting. I mean I could see part of that being Gansey thinking about Robert Parrish’s homophobia and maybe wondering if or assuming some of that translates into Adam’s views, and like. Adam does make some cutting asides about Ronan’s sexuality so it’s not like. A totally unfounded assumption for Gansey to make. + his general take on Adam and Emotions and how that translates to the shovel talk later.

[cabeswaterdrowned]

I had a lot I mean A LOT to say about the Blue and Adam ninos fight (and what I’ve written here does not even cover all my thoughts) so be forewarned:

“But I saw you guys trying to hide it. The crazy thing is — like, I’m right here. I’m with you guys every day. Do you think I didn’t see it? He’s my best friend. You think I don’t know him?” “Then why aren’t you having this conversation with him? He’s half of this, you know.”

Have spoken about this before but really I think Adam’s approaching Blue and only Blue about it comes from several different factors. I think one is that they got into a mild conflict in the last book when she and Noah went with him to help with Cabeswater and they were able to resolve it pretty easily and the world did not end, so maybe part of it is that has made Adam a bit more at ease with fighting with Blue being part of their dynamic, but doesn’t feel he has gotten there with Gansey yet. Then certainly Gansey’s looming death is a factor, their fights tend to be so explosive and to have one when he knows there’s a good chance he’ll lose Gansey is too big of a risk for Adam to take, and then combine that with his fear that he will kill Gansey or that any negative emotion he feels towards Gansey can become detrimentally hurtful and of course he wants to avoid that confrontation at all costs, meanwhile Blue is not destined to die and while he has some degree of fear of his anger/negative emotions in every relationship he doesn’t feel that with her in the specific heightened way he does with Gansey so he has freedom to have the fight with her as a stand in for both of them, even though that’s unfair to her as she correctly points out. Then there’s his revelation about Blue’s curse applying to Gansey. I’ve been attempting to track the dynamic of when/how Adam perceives Bluesey and I really think he is at least subconsciously/partially aware of it since late TRB but kind of is partly in denial about it or partly cautious about whether or not he’s wrong for a while, and kind of sets up some tests or opportunities for them (mostly for Gansey, specifically thinking of him asking Gansey to talk to Blue about why she won’t kiss him in tdt then being in a position to observe them together + the beginning of BLLB where he casually suggests to Gansey to take Blue to the next Gansey family function, there’s another instance in BLLB I think that I’m forgetting specifically) to prove this to him + tell him about it, and then when he asks Persephone how he can keep from killing Gansey and she replies with “why do you think your the one who kills him?” or something along those lines it fully clicks / he fully knows about them and the curse falls into place. So that was like a week ago (which by the way this book only being a week after BLLB is crazy pacing wise I have a lot of issues with it that’s for another post), and it’s still fresh. So this all has him connecting the guilt and self loathing and fear he’s been harboring for months about the possibility of killing Gansey, something that has fueled many of his actions (although like. really it’s what the vision represents that fuels all this not the vision itself which is a manifestation of those fears so you could get really theoretical debating that but putting a pin in that for a separate post also) and choices related to Gansey since the vision, to a tangible person who is destined to do what he fears, so he’s seeing what he fears in himself that potential to kill or hurt Gansey and also loving Gansey the two are linked, reflected in Blue who also is in love with Gansey and fears killing/hurting him since she knows it’s likely. So imo he’s projecting a lot of those pent up feelings he has about himself towards Blue. 

-And then specifically him taking her to task for being irresponsible enough to go on the date with Gansey and accusing her of being selfish and not caring about him enough if she’d put him in harms way like this… many things to unpack there first of all Blue would be well within her rights to slap him for that it’s really such an impressive display in self control that she does not, especially after their why-won’t-you-kiss-me conflict and how it played out. Secondly, it feels so true to Adam’s understanding of his own loving and fearing that he will hurt/kill Gansey dilemma, to him the answer is to compartmentalize the love and the hurt in the relationship and be super careful and avoidant to ensure he can’t accidentally hurt Gansey even if it makes him feel lonely and terrible and that when he’s hurt by something Gansey says or does he needs to bottle it up forever because the alternative is to be a monster, and seeing himself as fundamentally not worthy of Gansey, so Blue not treating her relationship with Gansey the way he does throws those compartmentalizations out of order and he sees it as a *wrong* way to feel / act on love for Gansey.

Also it’s sooo funny how he’s like. “Have you considered all the ways you two could potentially kiss in different places in different situations I can’t believe you two have left it to Me to do the math and imagine every possible scenario that could lead to you falling on Gansey’s lips and kissing him, I am of course only doing this on my own time because I am a good friend and a scientist therefore I need imagine Blue and Gansey making out, I must fall on this sword myself. Blue is nicer than me I would have forced him to explain in detail exactly what he meant by that

[cabeswaterdrowned]

Adam thinking Ronan’s dreams and therefore Ronan is savage and lovely and terrifying and whimsical … nice progression from the savagely handsome line

“What a frightened monster he was” is how Adam identifies Opal as the most Ronan of Ronan’s dreams, but that line reflects how he sees himself so he’s seeing himself in Ronan and therefore in Opal