#both daniel scenes for example

[nyoomfruits]

the new fanfiction was so lovely!! please tell us whatever tidbit you feel like sharing ⭐

thank you!!!! i'm glad you liked it <3

i have so many tidbits i could probably write an entire essay on the writing process of this fic BUT for the sake of Keeping It Short i'll stick to the beach scene for now, because that one seems to really resonate with people and it wasn't even supposed to be in the fic in the first place.

so, originally, it jumped from the scene where they're in their hotel room and charles says something along the lines of 'lets go to the beach' immediately to them waking up together, and eby (rightfully so) pointed out that it flowed kind of. weird, and that there should probably be some kind of transition scene in between.

anyway we had some back and forth where eby suggested a beach scene where they put sunscreen on each others backs, and i lamented i had already written something similair once and didn't really want to repeat that?? and then i just. sort of jokingly said (and this is a direct quote from out chat lmao):

consider: max is like "i dont NEED sunscreen" and charles is like "you will not turn into a lobster on my watch" and just. tackles him on the ground, straddles him, and puts sunscreen all over his chest/face and max is just lying there like😳

and the rest in history lmao.

ALSO fun fact about the beach scene: the anakin reference (“But sand,” Max says, draping his towel over the bed. “It gets everywhere.”) was COMPLETELY accidental and i didn't realize i'd made it until eby pointed it out to me. anyway it was too funny not to leave it in so i hope everyone enjoyed the accidental anakin reference lmao

[danlous]

"Armand is Alice and Daniel's wife/s and kids aren't real" has become a popular fan theory (even Luke Brandon Field said he liked it!) but i'd be surprised if it was right. I think it's definitely possible that Devil's Minion will be adapted in the show (though probably not exactly like in the books), but i personally think this whole imaginary family thing would be a poor way to handle the storyline for a variety of reasons. I think a twist like that would probably come across convoluted and (as Daniel might say) like something from a telenovela.

We see children's toys in Daniel's house and he's public figure who many people know with an autobiography and everything. Creating decades worth of false memories for Daniel and somehow also maintaining that imaginary life story for decades wouldn't be enough, Armand or whoever did it would also realistically have to have an absurd level of control over the physical world, public records and many other people's minds to sustain an illusion like that. I also frankly think it would be difficult to avoid having some sexist and biphobic undertones to the idea that Daniel's relationships with women were unreal and meaningless and only his relationship with a man matters.

However, the most important reason why i think Daniel's wives and children should be real is that they make him a richer, more nuanced character and are actually central to understanding him and his motives. He has lived a full and complex life that has been influenced and to some extent defined by his encounters with vampires, but those vampires still weren't his whole life. I think it's more interesting to see Daniel's human life and his relationship with Armand and Louis as something connected and overlapping that both affect each other. We actually learn quite a lot about Daniel from what he says about his partners and children.

This scene - as well as how Alice in general is discussed - reminded many people of how Daniel in the books talks about Armand, such as this famous passage:

Parallels between Daniel's relationships with Alice and Armand in the books are obvious but i think they're just that, parallels. Both the sweet little scene where Daniel is talking about Alice's eyebrows and the book scene where he's talking about loving Armand not despite but because he's a monster reflect in different ways who Daniel is as a person; he feels drawn to unconventional and strange and sees beauty where others might not. He ended up in this situation with vampires too because he wanted to interview people who're rejected by the society.

If Daniel already had some sort of relationship with Armand in the past it makes sense that it would be associated with Alice in his mind. There may be an overlap between the timelines of those relationships. A memory of Armand rises when Daniel is reminded of Alice rejecting his marriage proposal, in the books Armand rejected his wish to be turn him into a vampire, which would've been something akin to marriage. I think Alice being real is much more compelling for Armand's character too, with Armand expressing surprising understanding and sympathy toward Daniel's wife rather than just speaking about his own experience through an imaginary woman.

Completely putting aside Devil's Minion and is it a thing in the show or not, i think Daniel's family is particularly important to Louis' and Daniel's relationship. Something that hasn't technically been explicitly said but to me seems obvious is that Louis and Daniel strongly relate to each other as fathers. Many scenes where we see Louis and Daniel show vulnerability in front of each other have something to do with their partners and children. In 1.02 as one of the earliest examples of this Louis replicates the dessert Daniel had with Alice, trying to connect with him and his humanity through it, Daniel shares personal memory and they eat together in companionable silence.

I would argue that Claudia, her memory, and Louis' relationship with her is the heart of the story in these first two seasons. Claudia entering the story in 1.04 marks the shift in the interview and Daniel's approach; he becomes both more combative and more emotionally invested. He has a strong reaction to reading Claudia's diaries, and it's not difficult for any parent to guess that he's also imagining her own daughters in similar circumstances to Claudia.

I think this conversation at the end of the episode (alongside Louis' speech to Daniel in San Francisco and them remembering it in 2.05) is the most important scene between Louis and Daniel. They share the understanding what it feels like to have children and love them so much you don't even have words for it, but still fail them. It's not a coincidence that in the original interview in San Francisco what leads to Louis attacking Daniel is Louis telling the story of Claudia leaving alone and Louis going back to Lestat, and Daniel acting dismissively and clearly not understanding why this is so painful memory to Louis. Daniel was young, stupid and high - and he didn't have children yet. Daniel now wouldn't act like that when hearing this story, and he doesn't in 1.06 when hearing it again. And notably when Louis says that he would now agree to turn Daniel, Daniel says he doesn't want it anymore and specifically mentions his daughters as one of the reasons. Having to watch your children die before you is the most horrifying thing in the world. It's something Louis had to go through and Daniel wishes he never has to, even if vampirism still intrigues him.

Daniel realizes quickly that it all comes down to Louis' feelings of guilt and shame about failing Claudia and his inability to protect her, because he has similar feelings about his own daughters. Louis' story unravels in s1 finale because Daniel recognizes that Louis' more palatable narrative around what happened with Claudia isn't fully true. Daniel carefully read through Claudia's diaries and tried to learn to understand her, and he positions himself as someone who's trying to defend her integrity and reveal the injustice that was done to her. This is again about Daniel's own children as much as it's about Claudia. He knows that he's a bad father, his daughters don't talk to him anymore and it's implied that he neglected them when focusing on other things that interested him more. When Daniel defends Claudia he's on some level trying to rectify his own mistakes and when he calls Louis out he's also voicing his own self-loathing.

Eric Bogosian remarked that the scene in 2.01 where Louis cries and thanks for Daniel for helping him to remember that Claudia could dream is another shift in their dynamic. Daniel looks at Louis with genuine concern, and after that he tones down his usual sarcasm and jabs significantly. Daniel, again, can sympathize with how important this is for Louis. There's a new sincerity and empathy in their interactions. Sometimes the audience forgets that this story is ultimately about Claudia, but Daniel hasn't forgotten it since he first realized it. They're trying to understand together what happened to Louis' child and everything that led to it. I think if Daniel wasn't a father he would've acted differently, and Louis wouldn't have trusted him in the same way either and been able to share his and Claudia's story. I think this shared sorrow, love and guilt they feel as fathers is one of the most crucial parts of their connection.

[skydaemon]

does anyone want to hear the worst iwtv thought i've ever had? spoilers

so yknow how there's been a load of hints this season (and some last season) that claudia won't be killed by sunlight like she was in the book, but will die in a fire? i can't recall every instance right now, but in ep 4 there was her talk w santiago and daniel's question about the theatre, both of which could just be hinting at the fire in general, or could be suggesting that claudia dies in the theatre fire. there's loads more examples that someone else collated, but i can't find that right now. considering armand and louis are together in the present, it seems unlikely louis knows armand killed claudia, so if she died accidentally (or "accidentally") it would make sense for them to possibly have trauma bonded or just stayed together, rather than being torn apart the way they were in the book. again, could just be coincidence, or could be foreshadowing.

but i was watching ep 4 today in the scene where claudia confronts louis about armand and i found myself offhandedly thinking that the embers from louis' photographs were going everywhere, and they could start a fire.

then i stopped fucking DEAD.

because this episode sure focused a lot on the fact that louis is learning to control fire, huh? weird, since it's not a skill we see him use in present day. also showed he's not totally in control of it, and that he gets emotional and sets things on fire. so of course my brain jumped to the worst possible conclusion: what if louis set the theatre on fire and it killed claudia?

now, it's totally possible that, as in the book, louis just sets the theatre on fire in response to claudia's death. but before i could snuff out the terrible thought, another one followed: if he did, does he know?

because to me, there are four options. 1: he didn't kill her and he knows it. boring, basic, as per. 2: he killed her and he doesn't know. armand has mind-wipe powers that he's clearly used on louis, and it seems pretty in-character for him to hide this from louis. it would be absolutely devastating as a reveal and i KNOW jacob would kill me by acting it. 3: he killed her and he knows. this would be so INTERESTING!!! like retroactively making it canon that louis killed his daughter/sister/best friend and has been dealing with that for the last seventy-five years has INSANE implications and that would destroy me. 4, and possibly the most awful: he didn't kill her but armand made him think he did. this would explain the way louis in the present is significantly more under armand's thumb when daniel arrives compared to their 40s relationship, and why louis is so fucked in the head. it is so fucking juicy i want to rip into it with my teeth like a ripe mango.

anyway, very possible none of this will turn out to be right, but it was such an arresting thought in the moment that i felt pressed to share it.

[lipswoaface]

dating sean diaz hcs pt. 1

- the kind to get mad when he’s embarrassed. like, for example, if he were trying to show off some skate trick he learned and kept messing up to you, he would lwk start tweaking and hit his board on the floor rlly hard 😭 but he wld realize how even more embarrassing that was and apologize awkwardly

- he does the same whenever u guys play games together and daniel ends up joining. daniel is scarily good at bedwars and it makes sean rage lowkey 😭

- daniel and u end up bursting out in laughing fits whenever u guys spawn kill him n sean always goes “what? what’s so funny?!” but then ends up laughing with u guys

- if ure both poc, i imagine u guys exchange the corny dramatic shows from ur home countries w/ each other

- sean shows u the corny telenovelas his dad watches sometimes and u guys always make fun of the unnecessary dramatic scenes

- about twenty minutes in sean always stares at the screen not blinking w/ his jaw hung open though 😭

- both of u end up like that and once the credits roll u say “that sucked ass” in unison

- sean loves small, barely noticeable skin ship in front of other people

- hand holding under the table, arm draped on ur shoulder, quick embraces, and honestly just sitting side by side together is enough for him

- he gets embarrassed if its anything more than that but he has a stupid grin he has to hide on his face after

- if u guys ride the school bus together i can imagine sean sitting behind u and always stands halfway up to look at whatever ure doing 😭 kind of an ick but u cant see his bottom half so its okay <3

- sean hates house parties but somehow always gets dragged one way or another (usually bc of lyla)

- his only requirement is that if he goes, u have to come with him

- back to the shy on physical contact thing, he DOES NOTTT play when hes jealous

- hes not some macho alpha dude but hell def tell guys to back off once they get too close

- grips ur hand extra tight the rest of the night after 😭

- sean always ends up dragging u into some room w no one in it

- both of yall r nosy n lowkey be looking through the party hosts stuff

- pro mma play fighters

- sean obviously has training w daniel and it ends up integrating into when u guys fight

- u guys try to be a cute couple and have little pillow fights but both of u guys end up taking that shit sooo serious

- u guys start dragging each other on the floor and body slamming each other 😭😭

- daniel thinks its sooo funny and tries to referee

- u guys ignore him n go crazy stupid 😭😭

- “STOP!! STOP!! TIMEOUT” is a recurring phrase in ur relationship just bc u guys always escalate off each other

- both of yall ugly laugh sm u have to stop before u puke n then a couple seconds later u burst out laughing again

tbh i have no clue if ive read some of these and subconsciously wrote them down here so sorry if this is similar to a lot of others ones 🙏

[nalyra-dreaming]

so, if the teaser is canon, it's presumably set after the publication of Louis' book (as Lestat is holding a copy of it). Are you saying you think there's a significant space of time between the book being published and the final scenes of ep2, in which Daniel's a vampire? And so the documentary happens prior to Louis' 'I own the night' speech etc?

Well. I mean, they give us the hint that there is a significant space of time between those scenes within the show, even within that scene?

There's this shot

and this

For example.

Louis has an advanced copy on his table:

Meaning, he got the book before it was released, aka was given out to be sold.

I would say there is a frame of time of at least six months that is indicated by that.

Just because Louis has not read it yet, does not mean it's "freshly released" - Louis book canonically rereads IWTV - his story - just prior before he finally comes to terms with himself, and then joins back with Lestat for good. Him not having read the book yet is a hint at that book canon event, I think.

As per the documentary...

We have two claps indicating a certain time frame as well.

Since this is a "documentary" I don't think there are many classic "takes" per scene, however there might be quite a few per night, I don't think this indicates one per night (I think Lestat might be too... capricious for one focused take^^).

Given the first number should stand for the "scene"... I would guess that that number (edit: the roll number, thanks to @destielonfire) indicates more towards sessions/nights? (Even though, granted, you can't really pull a relation between takes and rolls, but I just don't see one take per documentary session^^)

And it would make sense, I mean, how many nights do you think Lestat would stay put there... maybe even 45 is a big stretch there. The documentary is probably a lot faster.

Now, IWTV (the book) has obviously been released already, there is some kind of semi-real discussion in "reality", the clapper guy in the first shot has the tattoo indicating that after all. :)

And the copy Lestat has there is not an advanced copy either.

But... Daniel does not sound as self assured as he is when he is a vampire yet, to me. He sounds pretty impressed by Lestat, and obviously hangs out with the other mortals there.

I think there is a high chance that Daniel will be turned after the documentary itself, that what we see at the end of s2 is actually after the teaser...

I could be wrong there, but I would not be surprised if everything overlaps a bit. Because a lot of things hinted at or introduced were not picked up yet, were not finished yet. The torn out and cut out pages of the diaries, for example.

And of course there is the mystery of Daniel's turning, because I don't believe for one second it was actually done out of "spite" or as a "rage kill". No, there's more to it all, but of course they're not spoiling^^.

I mean, book canonically Armand is often just... there, where Lestat is. They have history after all. History we will see a lot more of next season.

Both Louis and Daniel will understand a lot more of their respective partners after season 3 is done - and knowledge can be quite the catalyst.

[carveredlunds]

"I have a room on Divisadero": A meta on the shots in "Don't Be Afraid, Just Start the Tape" and the female horror of Louis' apartment

So, I made a graphic comprised of some haunting shots from season 2 episode 5 of IWTV, and it accidentally helped me realise why I've not been able to get the episode out of my head, specifically the scenes between Armand and Daniel. I'm going to try to explain my thinking here.

From the moment we go from the Loumand scene in the bedroom, we're forced into Daniel's point of view. And the first thing we see? A "cellophane corpse on the floor", to use Daniel's own words:

It's right next to him, facing him, mirroring his own position lying on his side. As Daniel himself says, "Surely, I'm next". And this is then followed by a panning shot of what he can see, all filmed from this dizzying sideways angle where he's lying on the floor. And we're hearing Daniel in the present day list what he can see. "There's a TV in the corner near the corpse. Some kind of sock or shoe commercial? There's sheets of plastic tarp, some duct tape, bleach."

What does this call to mind? Well, obviously, body disposal, making people disappear, but specifically, for me, it brings to mind the monstrous serial killers of the 70s, specifically Ted Bundy, and Jeffrey Dahmer, the cannibalistic serial killer of teenage boys. The most (in)famous serial killers of the modern imagination operated in the 60s and 70s, and these shots immediately bring that to mind. We're in the point of view of a victim.

I'm convinced this is not an accident on the part of Stuart Howell, the DP (Director of Photography, in charge of cinematography) for this episode. These shots are jarring, dizzying, and disorientating. And when Armand walks in, we stay in Daniel's point of view. Armand casually walks past Daniel, not even looking at him, and we're still on the floor, looking up at him. It's honestly the most frightening he looks in the whole season, in my opinion. Just look at these shots.

The blurriness? The low-angled framing, making Armand look taller and imposing? He's looking down at Daniel, but we can't see him properly. Obviously, this is down to show how confused and injured Daniel is, having been attacked and lost a lot of blood. But it's also what happens when you've been drugged or hit over the head or otherwise impaired.

Also to note very briefly, that this whole scene takes place during the day. I can't go into the Daylight Horror subgenre in too much detail here because this is already going to be a long post, but basically it highlights the mundanity of horror, the fact that acts of violence and horror don't always happen in the middle of the night. Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a classic example of the Daylight Horror subgenre, and so is this scene. Just to go back to Daniel's quote:

There's a TV in the corner near the corpse. Some kind of sock or shoe commercial? There's sheets of plastic tarp, some duct tape, bleach.

It's the middle of the day, the TV is on, there's a shoe commercial on. All ordinary, daily, things. But there's also plastic tarp, duct tape, bleach, and a corpse right next to the TV. In this apartment. In the middle of the day. The mundane juxtaposed with the unimaginably horrific.

Anyway, let's move onto the next interaction, the torture scene. A lot happens, but I'm going to focus on certain aspects, otherwise this meta will be too long. The most important thing here is this horrific exchange:

Daniel: I can't move — Armand: Move your body? Daniel: Yeah. Yeah.

Again, this is bringing to mind being drugged or handcuffed, both common forms of restraint that serial killers use for their victims. Armand has "commandeered [Daniel's] body". It's mind control, but for all intents and purposes, it's basically possession. I've made a gifset on this here, but to summarise, possession is often a female experience in horror movies. The loss of bodily autonomy, being moved by forces outside your control, being bent to someone else's will. It's very feminine horror coded.

Daniel looks to the corpse on the floor beside him, and Armand follows his gaze slowly, and then they have this exchange:

Daniel: I don't want... Armand: To die? On that item, I think I know something you don't.

Throughout this whole conversation, Assad Zaman is truly giving The Performance of A Lifetime. He's barely blinked, and his pupils are pinpricks, and there's just nothing behind eyes. He's got this slight smile when he says "On that item, I think I know something you don't." He's saying here, "I actually know you do secretly want to die". It's such a frightening thing to say. There's just this insane gleam in his eyes. Words don't do it justice, just go and watch it again. You know what I mean.

Anyway, back to the mind control. What does Armand do to Daniel, with this power? Forces him to his knees. So, we have this truly nightmarish shot of the door closing on them both as Louis yells at Armand to leave Daniel alone:

As @molloyboi said in this post, "the horror of a door closing and unknowable violence occuring behind that closed door never ceases to horrify me". It's such a horrifying shot because of everything it implies. Daniel on his knees, his head bent, Armand leaning forwards with his legs spread, his hands clasped together. "You're going to teach me to be fascinating", he says, with that manic shine in his eyes. Truly the stuff of nightmares.

Very briefly on the torture scene itself. Armand puts Daniel in a stress position often used to extract information from the person being tortured. Only Armand didn't need to extract information from Daniel this way. He put him in this position and just pulled the information from Daniel's head anyway. And we have Daniel constantly trying to make it stop: "My legs are starting to cramp", he says, "I have Charlie Horse, left leg." But Armand doesn't listen. This isn't torture to extract information, this is torture for the sake of sadism.

And when Armand is done with him, he just leaves Daniel there, like that, crying and in pain, while he goes to dispose of the corpse. How long is he gone for? We don't know, because the next time we see the apartment, it's four days later. So, let's move onto that.

We've immediately lost time. We don't know what happened in this gap, or what Armand did to Daniel. And putting aside the Devil's Minion goggles for a second, this is objectively terrifying.

Daniel is obviously out of it. He looks like he's in shock, exhausted and vacant and just staring at the TV, with that disgusting bite mark on his neck, all crusted over. He hasn't showered in four days. We don't know how much he's slept or eaten.

(By the way, it is so interesting that Daniel in the present day tunes back in on this news report. "Spiro Agnew", he says in the present day, and then we smash cut to this TV report. Of course Daniel, a journalist, would be brought back to himself by this huge historical event.)

But anyway. He's not completely gone yet. The fight isn't completely gone out of him. How do we know? Because he's moving his fingers slightly, as he watches TV. This tiny, fragile, reminder that he's in control of his own body right now, that he can move his hand right now. That he's not being possessed.

And he nervously turns to look at Armand, as you can see here in this gifset by @loo-nuh-tik. It's the way you would watch your torturer, your jailer, the man who is probably going to kill you. But as soon as Daniel thinks Armand is going to turn to him, he turns away quickly and stares at the TV. You can see so much in his posture, in his slightly lowered head. Perhaps he's learned, in those four days, that if he just sits and stares at the TV, Armand leaves him alone.

So, he tries to escape the moment Armand leaves to go check on Louis, and even from the other room, Armand calls, "Rest", and Daniel collapses and hits his face on the wall. A pathetic escape attempt, but at least he tried something.

So we come to the "rest" scene. I could talk forever about the "rest" scene. I will probably meta about the "rest" scene. But, for now, I'll keep it very short, because this is already way too long and rambling. In the context of the Female Horror of the Divisadero apartment, I want to talk about two shots. Firstly, this one:

Again, we're in Daniel's point of view, staring at Armand in this creepy close-up shot. He's whispering, "Shhhh", and he's not blinking, and we're trapped in Daniel's point of view again, staring at the creature that's been torturing him for days.

Obviously, this parallels the first torture scene, where we were in Daniel's point of view, looking at Armand, who wasn't blinking and just pulling information out of Daniel's head like spools of tape, forcing him to relive these humiliating sexual experiences (by the way, I am not excusing the "paper bag" thing, but I don't have time to go into it here).

And the last shots I want to discuss are these ones:

Why? Because of the Feminine Horror of it, of course. Firstly, it reminded me of Hannibal Lecter cleaning and bandaging Will's knuckles in season 2 episode 10 of Hannibal (screencaps from here):

The horror of blood blooming in water, the intimacy of cleaning an open wound, the homoeroticism of it all. That's all there, but it also calls to mind an abuser taking care of their victim. Yes, they hit you, but they patch you up, afterwards. The hand that hits you is the same one that gives you a necklace to say sorry.

There's so much Feminine Horror in these shots of Armand and Daniel. It's finally here, the end of these several days of torture. And Armand is taking care of him, in the end. Cleaning his wound tenderly, leading him into this gentle, easeful death.

[vendemiaire-crafts]

Formula 1 Photocards For Palestine! 🏎️🍉

I have 14 custom photocards of Formula 1 drivers laying around, that I’ve been meaning to give away or sell since I’ve lost interest in F1. Then it dawned on me — instead of charging customers directly, why not make it a donation drive to help people in Gaza?

So that’s what I’m doing!

Products

I have one photocard of each of the following drivers: Alex Albon, Valtteri Bottas, Pierre Gasly, Lewis Hamilton, Charles Leclerc, Lando Norris, Esteban Ocon, Sergio Pérez, Daniel Ricciardo, George Russell, Carlos Sainz, Yuki Tsunoda, Max Verstappen, and Zhou Guanyu. Again, there is only ONE card of each driver available, so get your fave before he’s gone! The photos on the cards can be viewed here.

I’m also selling toploaders that I’ve decorated myself! Closeup images of these toploaders can be viewed here. On the availability list, the toploaders are numbered as follows:

You can buy only a photocard, only a toploader, or both, or more than one of either! It’s up to you 🍉

Prices/Minimum Donations

(All prices are listed in USD, since I live in the US (California specifically), but conversion rates between currencies should be easy to find.)

Payment for cards and toploaders will be through making a donation to a relief organization or Palestinian fundraiser. Here’s a list of options you can donate to.

Photocard: $2 each

Toploader: $3 each

As well, for an extra $0.50, I’ll add in a photocard stand!

I'll also add in a couple freebie stickers! 🍉

Of course, you can make a larger donation if you’d like and if you have the money! The ‘prices’ listed are minimum donations to make for a purchase — for example, donate at least $5 to buy a card and a toploader; or donate at least $2.50 to buy a card and a stand. If you’re only in a position to make the minimum donation, though, that’s totally fine too. Money is tight for a lot of us ❤️‍🩹

The Process

DM me on this blog to begin an offer. Select which photocard(s) and/or toploader(s) you'd like to purchase (examples: toploader #20, Alex Albon photocard). Here's the list of which cards and toploaders are still available.

Make your donation to at least one of any of these fundraisers. Donations to multiple fundraisers are fine too, so long as it adds up to the minimum donation amount for your purchase! Then, once you've donated, send me proof via DMs. This can be as simple as a screenshot of your donation's confirmation. Also let me know which fundraiser(s) you've donated to so I can add onto it. Ideally, send me your purchase selection and donation proof at the same time.

I'll then send you your purchase! Note that after you donate and send proof, I'll ask you for an address to mail to. For those worried about privacy, all private messages on this blog stay private. I will not release, share, or sell your address to anyone else, or use it for anything other than mailing your purchase to you. For mailing, note again that I live in the USA.

I'll also donate double the amount of money in your donation to the same fundraiser(s) you gave to. For example, if you donated $5 for your purchase, I'll donate $10. I will send you confirmation of my own donation via DMs.

Questions? Feel free to send me an ask or a message.

After You Purchase

Keep sharing Palestinians' stories. Amplify their voices. Talk to friends and relatives about the dire situation in Gaza and urge them to help too. I of course can't speak for the people affected by the war and constant uncertainty, life or death, I'm just a fellow in the States hoping to help even in a small way.

If you have the money available to, keep donating to fundraisers and relief efforts. If you don't, share links to these fundraisers with others, especially those who can donate. Our brothers, sisters, and nonbinary kin in Gaza need every bit of support they can get!

Know somebody into Formula 1? Somebody who digs photocards and deco toploaders? Somebody in the kpop scene? Just anyone looking for a fun avenue to contribute to a good cause? Send this post to them and encourage them to buy!

Once your purchase comes in, tag me if you post pictures of it!

I'm super excited to be launching this donation drive, and I hope you'll join me in helping Palestinians on their races for safety, stability, and hope for the future once again.

Let's get donating!

It's lights out and away we go! 🏁

[smooth-perceval]

“Mistletoe…Really?”

Max Verstappen x Reader

Summary: Max acts grouchy, but truthfully he loves all the Christmas traditions- especially when his best friend uses mistletoe to get a kiss.

Warning: FLUFF!!!! Max being a grouch, Google translate.

Key: Y/N (Your name) Y/L/N (your last name)

Word count: 1073

A/N: I love this- I’m sorry… maybe I just love max? Who knows- but I hope you enjoy as much as I do- it’s rushed I know I know-

“Oh max- look how lovely it’s all just magical…” sighing in a bliss I found myself spinning in circles, before chasing Max up the steps catching up to him.

Two security standing outside- lists in hand, this was a private party- consisting of a few F1 drivers and a few members of each team. For example; Max, Lando, Daniel, Charles, Oscar, Pierre and Carlos.

Some mechanics attended, and some wives and some girlfriends/boyfriends of each person in this room.

Me however- I was just a friend, a friend to everyone here I guess… more Max’s friend- but a friend to all!

“Y/N?” Looking up the last few steps Max stood their hand out. “Come on, it’s already started.” Eyes wide I quickly apologised taking his hand and hopping the last steps.

“So- who’s here exactly?” Laughing a little Max glanced at me opening the doors for me to walk through first. “You know who is here…” rolling my eyes at him, I held onto the door while he walked in after.

“Yeah but I didn’t know wether there was more!” Stopping outside the two large oak doors he looked down at me, a small smile playing at his lips. “The same original people. Why you expecting someone?”

“Nope, I’m already going home with you.”

“Really?” Eyes wide slightly, he seemed to have moved closer. “Well yeah- we agreed I was staying at your house tonight right? Because it’s closer?” I tilted my head slightly, my hand against one of the doors.

“Oh right- I forgot about all that…” turning away he pushed open the other door simultaneously as I did.

“Oh-” and then the music rang through our ears.

“Y/N your here?!” Smiling wide, Lando practically ran over arms wide pulling me into a tight embrace.

“How’ve you been? Max didn’t say you were coming?-” he glanced at Max before pulling me away from him.

I quickly shot an apologetic smile at Max before linking arms with Lando.

“He didn’t tell you?”

“No I asked if you was coming and he said no.”

“Oh- well… I’m here now.” Laughing a little, we both sat down at the bar ordering a drink each.

“Then I said to him are you not coming because he is just trying to keep his feelings for you away.”

“His what?!” My eyes widened, my head snapped. I couldn’t believe my ears.

“His feelings for you? I mean come on it’s quite obvious. You come in the picture as the best friend, max goes of the dating scene, spends every waking minute with you. You’re at every race- if he doesn’t see or speak to you he’s just an asshole… it’s pretty obvious. I think his crazy about you truthfully” sighing Lando took a huge gulp of his drink staring ahead of himself.

“He likes me?”

“He liked-” boom heart deflated.

“Now I think it’s love…”

“He loves me?” I toyed with the rim of my drink, looking over my shoulder once again at max who was now with Daniel, and for him to be around Daniel his normally doubled over laughing- or distracted some sort… his eyes were on me- watching me like a hawk.

“More than you know I think.” Breathing out breath I didn’t realise I was holding looking back at Lando. “I’ve been here five minutes and you’re making me look at someone completely differently.”

“Glad I could help… I could help you even more?”

“How so?” Turning more towards him I listened in. “How about confessing your own feelings?”

“No.”

“Yes”

“How?”

“Sneakily get him under the mistletoe- if he kisses you back, then that’s a win right? If he doesn’t then blame mistletoe.”

Laughing I leaned away waving my hand at him, “there’s no way that would work.”

“If it does, I take thank you’s in the form of alcohol.” Rolling my eyes at him, he patted my knee gently, “it’s Christmas what could go wrong.”

Looking back at max… I swallowed all my pride- I mean how am I supposed to not kiss him when his looking at me like that-

I never see max that way- I mean I did but I had to accept my life without him being more than a friend a long time ago- especially with every advance I made got shut down- wether he meant to or not.

And now? It’s different I felt on fire under his gaze, I felt like he was drinking me in- and like a magnet I was pulled across the room towards him. “Max can we talk quick-” nodding, his brows furrowed concerned.

His hand on the bottom of my back burned, his cologne engulfed my noses- his body radiated heat. I couldn’t… well I don’t want him away from me now, in-fact I want the other arm of his around me- pulling me in.

“What’s up?” Once behind some close doors I glanced around trying to remember where I saw the mistletoe before standing right beneath it.

“So- about the whole me staying at yours…”

“Yeah?”

“You sure you’re okay with that?” Glancing up above us I stepped back slightly, moving him a little closer now definitely underneath the mistletoe.

“Yeah I wouldn’t suggest it otherwise?” Confused he started studying my eyes.

“Y/N what is going on here?”

“What?” Wide eyed I looked back at him. “With your eyes- they’re…” looking up, I caught the small smile creeping on his face before looking back at me.

“Mistletoe…Really?”

“Oh wow would you look at that! What are the odds…” gasping a little I stepped back from max.

“Yeah would you look at that… I guess it’s tradition huh?” And before I knew it he was pulling me back in.

“It would be bad to break tradition right?”

“It really would.”

“Max are you going to kiss me?” Whispering lowly, my cheeks burned as our faces slowly moved closer.

“I was hoping to.”

“Now?”

“Right now.”

“Okay…”

“Do you want to kiss me Y/N?”

“Shh…” huffing I gripped onto his collar pulling him in and finally our lips connected, and everything we both felt for each other over the years was poured into that one kiss, and just like I prayed he wrapped both arms around me pulling my body flush against his.

“God I love you, have done for too long.” Mumbling against my lips he smiled happily.

“I’m glad I’ve waited too long for your love.”

“I’ve waited longer.”

[geese-in-a-frock-coat]

What's your evidence for Watts and Murdoch being autistic? (I totally agree btw)

Hello, internet stranger. Buckle up cause I've thought too hard about this.

Ok disclaimer I have not really sat down and watched the whole thing for a hot minute. Its past nine, you're just gonna have to trust me this one.

Credentials: Mega autisitc

Murdoch:

Does not understand social conventions. Like this ones pretty obvious. He doesn't understand why people keep dogs. Raises his kid in a completely non traditional way. Frequently doesn't get why people care about something that he sees as not being worth it (sports and popular trends and so forth).

Doesn't like small talk

Cares about justice NOT the law. The thing that really makes me think he's autistic is that he cares about things being just and is prepared to break the rules to do so. The main example being he lets that woman out of prison depsite the fact that he could go down for it. He turns a blind eye to Watts and lets Giles go even though they're both criminals in the eyes of the law. And on the flipside he sends George to prison because I think that's what he percieves as justice (if anyone's seen the bridge this really reminds me of Saga at the end of season 2)

Sees through hierarchy. There are so many epsiodes that play out like "I think Mr X is the killer." "But Mr x is extrememly important and influential!" "I don't care he killed her."

Interest in science and inventing. Look I know we joke about stereotypes but like, its a stereotype for a reason. He builds things with an autistic brain. He uses pattern repition through learning about previous inventions and applying them to his own devices.

Visual learner. This is not autism exclusive but he solves cases in such a unique way that it screams ND to me. Murdoch often literally builds a case. They make a joke about clue/cludo but he literally has to make the model of a house to picture where everyone is. He makes all those model of the ladies that were covered in metal. And let us not forget his famous chalk board.

Buzzkill. I say this as a long-term sufferer of leaves parties at 8:45 syndrome. He does 'boring hobbies' which autistic people often have because we don't feel the need to take up traditional ones.

Remember that scene where he attempts to read out his and Julia's book and just absolutely cannot tell that no one gives a single toss about anything he's saying.

Wears the same thing for nearly 20 years. If it ain't broke don't fix it.

Refused to let his wife cut his hair because he didn't want to change from the lady who used to do it.

breather. Part 2: watts.

Cannot read social cues: Frequently insults other station house four people. Pretty sure he called someone's baby ugly but I might have hallucinated that. "You're face is symetrical." Got chucked out of station house because he didn't get on with any of them

Disregard for societal norms: doesn't feel the need to be polite or tactful with anyone or to really follow police protocol. Acts very 'improper' a lot of the time. Only got one shoe shined that one time because that was all he needed. Puts his feet on the sofa, lies on the desk and leans over tables.

Makes limited eye contact.

The man will fidget with anything: Look this is clearly a character decision from Daniel Maslany but its an autistic character decision if ever I saw one. We're talking pencils, cups, fabric, anything. If it is on the set, he will find a way to play with out. And I don't normally like to assign autistic traits onto behaviour implemented by actors but it's basically stimming at this point. I dare you to keep an eye on this man's hands for any scene and I garuntee you they will not stay still.

Disorganised, but not: He always has tiny bits of paper and whatnot in his pockets but always seems to know where everything is. organised but doesn't have to time to be tidy. Same whenever we see his flat, it's equally disorganised. as an autistic person I find things end up all over the place because I don't have the capacity to keep them in order.

Bad handwriting and can't spell

Physicality: Most autistic people will have some sort of problem with co-ordination. He walks uneavenly. He has an odd posture. I always think about that scene where he steps in sick and moves around like a dear on ice. He's clumsy, can't sit straight and has a strange posture.

can't think when being interrupted

can't focus on two things at once.

George realised he'd been possessed by aliens because he was acting normally.

pretzels: dare i say safe food. If not, they're bland, usually the same everytime and take little mental effort to consume.

Strong sense of justic: see william murdoch.

SPECIAL MENTIONS:

Dr Emily Grace: didn't become a doctor becuase she didn't want to adopt a 'cheerful bedside manor.'

Dr Julia Ogden: Married to Murdoch (like calls to like) and sees through the bullshit of victorian society.

Susannah Murdoch: has those two as parents and I have the full confidence of genetics on this one.

In conclusion:

There's probably so much more I could talk about that I just don't remember because there is a lot more of this show than most others. But anyway. Murdoch is autistic because he has to be for the show to work and becuase he often comedic-foils far too close to the sun. And Watts is autistic because there is no way on God's green earth a man who stands like that is neurotypical.

Thank you, internet stranger, I am here all week.

[quidfree]

very understated beat that i liked amongst all the other brilliant choices in iwtv s2e5 (which for me is foremost a loudaniel self-actualisation via mutual recognition plot, and then a loumand failmarriage plot) is that amongst daniel’s general resistance to armand’s gentleman death manipulation (his first “rest” going ignored, “i like my life man”, “i have a thing in the city” etc) and armand’s overall intense frustration and disdain for daniel given that he caught louis’ eye, they have these weird little moments where they themselves do have a bit of a rapport despite circumstances? or like- accidental wavelength sharing?

my favorite example is that when armand is frustratedly mocking daniel by listing his mundane flaws (while daniel argues/nervously babbles back, certified platinum yapper) and starts going in on his other interviews, daniel’s non-self-deprecating line is that “he’s good at getting people to open up” (paraphrased). this is the genuine skill he assigns himself. skip forward some dialogue, and what does armand do? sit them down and ask daniel: “would you like to know my first memory?” two lines later, he stops himself, gives a terse “hm” and stops that conversational pivot dead. there’s a lot to read in the volunteering and cut off, but EYE find it interesting that daniel molloy just Gets The Girls Talking, and i think armand stopping where he does is both a character thing (his relationship to his trauma does not allow him to cathartically spill to random mortals) and i think a frustrated realisation that he’s slipped up and literally let the wannabe journalist kid get him monologuing.

there’s echoes of it in the dubai scene when louis is asleep and armand starts volunteering conversation to daniel, both as a ploy and sort of sincerely? and daniel of course just throws back “i’m listening” at him, but he is, in fact, listening. they’re always kind of operating on a level of lie and honesty lol.

it’s like how armand asking daniel if he finds him boring is part performative and part genuine inner angst bleeding through, and daniel retorting no is obviously because he will say anything for the doe-eyed freak not to murder him but also (as he himself immediately points out), armand can literally read his mind and see for himself that’s true. it’s just a well written show like that!!!

[vintagerpg]

Mothership encompasses and encourages many different visual vocabularies and yet, despite 3rd-party Mothership products looking wildly different from each other, they mostly have an often unmistakable SOMETHING that still encodes them as Mothership to my eye. Hull Breach (2023) is a hardcover anthology of scenarios, locations, tools, hacks and rules tweaks by gang of notable 3rd-party Mothership zine makers, and it’s a great example of this sort of…consistent variance.

The book sure looks like Mothership, but the contents, both thematically and visually, are remarkably varied (despite a certain cohesive framing provided by the layout, though even then, I count three separate hands at work). There are rules for playing as human-hunting aliens. There’s a retail chain with a series of back rooms that never end. There is a teleporter in need of testing, heh. I think my favorite is the funnel scenario, “Residue Processing,” which casts players as unwilling participants in a series of dangerous scientific experiments in a corpo lab. Everything is so well done and so different from each other that reading through the book is really like unearthing one delightfully horrible trinket after another; I got pulled along by the promise of ever-new ways to terrify and murder my players.

Lots of great art throughout (LF OSR, Sajan Rai, Joshua Clark and Daniel Vega). I’m particularly keen on Nikolai Fletcher, who contributed the front cover and some interiors. He’s got a very precise style that makes for believable sci fi environments, but then either through composition or color, manages to get this intense brooding feel. I love how dangerous the cover looks without breaking the stillness of the scene (the hole itself is slightly debossed, too, which is a nice, subtle design touch).

I’ll always love the myriad of Mothership products, but Hull Breach sets a high bar for the rest of the 3rd party. I’m keen to see other creators work to meet it.

[l0serg1rls]

today i wanna talk about the big brawl.. season 6, episode 10 and the sekai taikai.. basically how eye would change some things.

this is gonna be an extremely long post .. i like to yap. clearly. so yeah.

initially, when i first watched i loved it.. but rewatching that specific scene. it’s giving lacklustre? i mean the choreography was good that’s for sure but i don’t know.. i feel like it could’ve been done so much better .. also feel like it didn’t really have to end in kwons death either.

the reason why it fell short for me and felt a bit anticlimactic was because it was just random? russian dojo came back and punched gunther in the face, everyone else started fighting.. like okay💀

the thing is there was no reason too really. (have the massive brawl breakout THAT way) a brawl is fine, but the way it was carried out isn’t. also the actual tournament way too short.

i have an idea; so gonna share it here for you all! this might be dumb but i don’t like a lot with this season 6 part 2 after initial thought. anyways here we go 😖:

start off by saying sekai taikai was too short. like a world tournament only being around 30-40 minutes. i would’ve had the episodes longer with a runtime of an hour or over an hour.

i think CK could’ve benefited from longer episodes and more episodes anyway and better writers. but i digress

each international dojo is introduced through short videos or flashbacks as the teams all join together in the arena or whatever, showcasing unique abilities and talent.

cobra kai and miyagi do both face frictions with other teams in the tournament. an aggressive and brutal dojo accuses cobra kai of being frauds who can’t live up to their intimidation tactics (blame kwon for that one, him intimidating others outside of the mat.) leads to that sort of confrontation.

miyagi-dos defense style is mocked by other dojo who sees it as way too soft. tension brews between alllll the teams. it isn’t just a cobra kai and miyagi do thing against all, all dojos have issues w each other.

several preliminary matches are shown, including standout fights featuring (sam, hawk, devon) and (tory, yoon, kwon) other cobra kai teamates deserved to be mentioned more.

tensions rise between tory and another dojos female fighter. tory isn’t balanced and dealing with the grief of her mother still. this girl from the other team is aggressive and fast. forcing tory to become the same. letting out her anger and almost gets disqualified.

johnny and daniel struggle to keep the peace between miyagi do. they’re fighting well, but not as good as they possibly could be. they’re losing a lot of matches and the team becomes completely divided. one side saying to fight aggressive; other side saying to defend

things begins to get a lil heated OUTSIDE of tournament.. rival dojos begin sabotaging each other outside the matches. a lot of street fights if you will. or just them fucking with eachother. an example: miyagi do member is ambushed completely by another dojo.

sam is targeted by a rival fighter in a dirty off the matt attack. causing noticeable, bad injuries, miguel jumps in to defend her and makes himself a target for specific dojo.

the brawl: a rival dojo manipulates tensions between miyagi do and cobra kai. possibly spreading a false rumour. like cobra kai plotting to sabotage a miyagi do fighter by injuring them with an illegal move they could disguise as not an illegal move lol.

yada, yada, yada. something happens, someone could hit someone else, the big brawl happenes!

during big brawl, tory could intervene to protect devon and takes a severe hit leaving her threatened with life changing injuries.

let’s get to kwon real quick: instead of him being an asshole and just getting killed. it’s established that kwon is one of the best fighters on the tournament. during brawl kwon gets ambushed by a jealous rival dojo or just a rival who wants to quite literally take him outta commission 😵.

kwon could also have a personality, so just not an asshole.. or not an asshole all the time , so he’s NOT a bad person and his team actually fw him.

say the ambush is so bad it triggers people from cobra kai to try and rescue him.. another way tory could get critically injured trying to protect him.

‘why tory?’ you may ask.. and why not? kwon was just introduced. it gives off more shock factor that a main character got hurt instead of him.

the impact of tory’s injury:

shock factor- tory being critically injured instead of kwon would exceed expectations.. like NO ONE could’ve seen it coming. her injury would create an emotional gut punch for characters like devon, sam, robby.

next, a full tournament arc. this would give the series time to delve into each fighting style, all the dojos. here’s how they could do it:

establish rivalries. cross-dojo friendships and betrayals .. this one could be interesting. inner team drama.

different fights during the sekai taikai:

tag team matches.

weapon kata demonstrations

survival matches

free for all battles

team relay matches

speed challenges

lastly, activities that the captains of each dojo would have to do or all the kids in the comp:

1. leadership seminar; captains are required to give speeches or participate in discussions about their dojos philosophy, training style, discipline, skills.

2. demonstration matches; captains are required to participate in matches to show their skills and set an example.

3. coaching workshop; leadership skills between the captains would be tested. captains would have to try and coach fighters from the other dojos.

as you can see if you’ve read up to this point, there’s A LOT .. i am a professional yapper. relaying back to my point. all this couldn’t fit into 5 episodes between 30-40 minutes, that’s why everything should’ve been bigger, longer.

CK doesn’t have the budget im aware so most of these are just headcannons unless someone wants to write a fic and do a whole rewrite.. which I might be up to do.. however i cant write for shit😭

uhm yeah 👌

[vivelareine]

I’m really sorry that people jump to conclusions about you being a royalist. You seem to be quite nice and your posts are informative.

And it’s true that clergy and aristocracy at large benefitted from the rigged system. Also apparently the economy was already screwed up before, but Frev just had this specific set of precursor circumstances that lit up the powder keg, which was going to blow up eventually.

There is definitely a discussion to be had about all the nuances here, as Frev is a complicated subject.

Thank you! People can be... something, that's for certain.

I love nuanced discussions! I think they're especially fascinating when it comes to this era.

Like I love the fact that we can discuss how Marie Antoinette was personally charitable and kind, but that her personal charity and kindness existed in this almost incomprehensible vacuum of extreme wealth vs poverty.

To use an example I talked about on Twitter, there was an assistant gardener for the hameau de la reine who became ill shortly after being hired, and Marie Antoinette ended up spending almost 2000 livres (a hefty sum--the annual salary of the head gardener was considered a respectable 1500 livres per year, with room and board) on his medical care alone. When it became clear he would not regain his health, she paid for him to return home to England, with a large sum so he could set himself up somewhere.

This assistant gardener's annual salary, had he stayed to work at Versailles? 50 livres, which did include room and board, but still, 50 livres per year.

Now to take an EXTREME example, the infamous bracelets that Marie Antoinette purchased and her mother harassed her over cost 250,000 liveres. It would take 5000 years of this assistant gardener's salary to buy a pair of bracelets that she purchased on a whim. (Now this is an EXTREME example, because everyone considered these bracelets horrendously expensive and extravagant, and it was purchased during her short yet very significant 'wilder' days.)

So it's this fascinating contrast of, her being personally kind and thinking nothing of making sure he had medical care and personally seeing to it that he's not just kicked out of France with nothing and no way to live... and realizing that this personal kindness and compassion existed within this system of massive inequality.

It reminds me of the scene in Ever After (listen I will use any excuse to bring the movie up) where Danielle-in-disguise, after the prince frees the servant from the cart taking them to be indentured servants until they die: "You gave one man back his life, but did you even glance at the others?"

And not in the sense that I think Marie Antoinette would have been like "free this one man!" and ignored everyone else, but the sense that she gave charity, compassion, cared for others, paid for the upkeep of various families and watched over their children's well-being etc etc on a personal level... but she did not comprehend the need for systematic change outside of that very limited scope.

Re; Nuance...

Nuance gets lost a lot, on both sides.

IMO, I don't think people should expect to be taken seriously when talking about history if they are either huffing and puffing about Marie Antoinette being a bitch tyrant who got what she deserved, or if they're wringing their hands and saying Louis was perfect and the revolutionaries were devil worshipers who are burning in hell for daring to revolt.

(And like, I GET... if you just glance at my blog, you might go, oh wow, this person is really Marie Antoinette themed. Must be one of those people who thinks her life was the Sofia Coppola movie. But if you think that and you haven't bothered to read my blog or any of my social media, don't come up at me with some random BS like that and expect to be taken seriously. It's basic common sense and respect.)

[nalyra-dreaming]

What Do you think Daniel hard meant when he in his twitter replay said that loustat is often more transactional than loving?

No no no. He said “sometimes treat each other is more transactional“:

That‘s… something else. Also “sometimes“, not generally or even more than loving.

It means that both sometimes manipulate the other to get what they want, or use the other for something.

Like here, for example:

This is Louis (supposedly the truth as we have it now), trying to make Lestat do something he clearly does not want to by promising a part/something of himself.

Or this

Clear manipulation tactic (which backfires, of course ™️) of Lestat trying to get Louis to feed.

There‘s a lot of those scenes. And given Daniel Hart was talking about the upcoming season this pattern of behavior will hold a bit still.

Like, the song (aimed at Louis) and the outfit, and behavior of Lestat is clearly also a try at getting a reaction.

The later books have a “petty and in love“ phase as Jacob called it iirc. I think this will be the beginning of it. ORRRRRR they throw us right into the middle of it, lol, I can see that, too.

But that transactional element isn’t all they are (also note the next tweet as to the other meaning?!) They’re wayyyyy more than that and Daniel addressed that as well.

[fernandopiastri28]

quand c'est? - part 4~ ln4 x op81

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

A red flag is called, and Lando hears repeats of ‘Lando, are you alright?’ in his ear over and over, Will’s fussing over the radio. Will fusses over him, Jon fussed over him earlier, Oscar always fusses over him.

Like he’s some sick, fragile, baby. 

warnings: major illness, cancer, sickness, major angst wc: 1985

Lando bites at the skin around his thumb, his right leg bouncing up and down as he attempts to stay still in his seat. The heat outside is worse than expected, so he has the hem fireproof shirt hitched up to rest just over his nipples in order to cool down before the race. He has a fan on him and a water bottle in his hand- even then, it’s pretty unpleasant. 

Oscar is busy off somewhere skipping, as he usually is just before a race. His stomach is growling, desperate for some food. He doesn't risk it though- he knows eating anything will make him feel nauseous again and he’lll just need to violently throw up.

He’ll tough it out until he gets back to the hotel, then at least he’ll have Oscar by his side while he’s puking.

“Lando,” Jon’s hand plants on his shoulder, Lando moving his head at the interruption from his blank out. “We really need to do some stretches before you get in the car- I don’t want you making one bad turn and fucking up your neck,”

Lando bites harder, a faint metallic taste spreading over his tongue. “Yep,” He pops the p at the end, trying to sound enthusiastic. He stands up, wobbly and shaking knees and ties the sleeves of his race suit tighter around his waist.

He follows after Jon, akin to a small dog, Leo, for example, to behind the motor home. Oscar’s just finishing out his skipping- his cheeks rosy red and his hair standing tall. “Hey Lans,” He fist bumps him as they walk past each other. “Feeling any better?”

Both Kim and Jon know they’re dating, so it’s not as if they have to worry about showing affection to one another in front of their trainers. It’s more that even though they’re somewhat hidden by the motorhomes, they are still technically in the paddock and can be seen by guests at any given moment. 

They’d learnt to not take the risk of being outed to the world for a single kiss when someone had snapped a photo of Max and Daniel kissing after Daniel’s announced break of McLaren contract back in 2022. It was before Oscar had even properly entered the F1 scene, yet he knew better to never take that risk.

“Somewhat,” Lando shrugs, giving Oscar a toothy grin. He still really doesn’t feel good, but he wants to prove to Oscar that he’s safe to drive, that he’s ‘got this under control’. Oscar’s eyes flicker down to where Lando’s tanned stomach is fully on display and his lips quiver, holding back a smirk.

“That’s good,” Oscar smiles warmly, tugging his suit up higher from where it’s been gradually dropping from around his waist to just below his hips, “See you soon, mate,” Lando gets squirmy whenever Oscar calls him mate. It’s fine when they’re at home and just talking casually, but when it’s used in the place of ‘babe’ or ‘love’, it just feels cruel that it’s their reality.

Being gay is difficult enough as it is, being a gay athlete adds a different degree of difficulty. Dating your teammate, who is supposed to be your most similar rival is downright awkward and stupid. All of that while being forced to remain closeted, it’s pretty much a full time fucking job.

Lando shuffles his feet, tugging his shirt down to get ready for the stretches. Usually, he just lays in his driver room and naps- maybe listens to music if he’s in the mood- he’ll have time for that later. 

First up is skipping. Lando bites the inside of his cheeks to stop him from crying out in pain as his brain rattles around in his head. He’ll be done with it soon, he just needs to calm down.

Jon allows him to stop when he looks on the verge of passing out, “Lando? Are you feeling okay?” 

Lando shrugs, weakly passing him the skipping rope, “Let's just go for the massage now,” He’s not up for a talk and based on how much tension has built up in his body, a massage is about one of the only things that he thinks might make him feel better right now.

Lando hitches his shirt back up, enough that Jon will be able to ruin his back with his ‘magical hands’. It’s cringey to call them that, but it’s so true. In another universe, Jon is a professional masseuse. 

He lays down on the massage bed, his face smushed in the head hole. They both just stay silent for the most part, despite a few groans and hisses coming from an over-sensitive and tense Lando. “How’re you feeling about the race,” Jon finally breaks the silence, his thumbs pushing hard into Lando’s shoulder muscles.

“Fu- good, I’m excited,” It’s half a lie. He is obviously excited to race, racing is his biggest passion in life, but he would be enjoying it all so much more if he felt good. Feeling ill after a race and feeling ill before a race are two completely different things- because he knew he would only go downhill from where he was at.

“How’s Oscar feeling about it?” Jon, always the instigator.

“He’s probably more excited then I am- he’s starting pretty high up,” Lando mumbles, the slow unload of relief through his body making him feel better than he has in days.

Lando closes his eyes, studying the red that swirls around on the inside of his eyelids. He’s in the calm before the storm right now- he needs to shut his mind off. It’s a task easier said than done, especially when all his focus is grouped towards just how fucking bad his head hurts.

“Jon?” A knock rattles the door, a pair of shuffling feet in addition. “Is it alright if I just hang out here?” If it was anyone else asking to just hang out In Lando’s driver room, Lando would be telling them to piss off and go to their own room- for Oscar though, anything that is his own is also Oscar’s. 

“F’course Oscar,” Jon hums, not even asking for confirmation from Lando. He doesn’t need it, he knows that it’s a given that the answer would be yes.

Lando pries his eyes open, looking straight down at the ground in front of him. A pair of big brown eyes stare back up at him. What a weirdo Oscar is, getting down and laying on the ground just to be looking at lando.

Lando is so in  love with him.

“Please tell me you’re feeling better,” Oscar pushes himself up on his elbows, his core tensing at the 45 degree angle he’s keeping himself.

“Somewhat,”

“Somewhat my ass. Do you genuinely believe you’re up for this tonight?” Someone’s feisty tonight.

“Yes,” The lie feels almost like the truth by how many times he’s promised it. “I’ll just… I’ll take it easy in the lead up to COTA,”

Oscar puffs out cold air onto his top lip, a wrinkle of distrust forming between his scruffy brows. Lando is not one for taking it easy- ever. “We’ve got a month until then- you better keep that promise,”

“I will,” It’s veering off a lie, but it still is one. He knows just as well as Oscar that he’ll allow himself to get up to 75% good health and then wear himself back out again. It’s just what he does. 

Oscar doesn’t look convinced. “I promise Oscar- on my life,”

“Don’t do that,” Oscar snorts, “I don’t want you dying on me,”

“Oh shut it you mupp-'' Jon shuts him up with an elbow digging into his ass cheek and he yelps out in pain. Oscar looks satisfied by getting the last jeer in.

Lando carded his hands through his curls, pushing them off his forehead to put on his balaclava. Even from inside the garage he could hear the endless screams of the crowd. Fuck, this was gonna be a long race. He was starting in between Stroll behind and Ricciardo in front- a true recipe for disaster.

WIth that combo, he’d be more likely to be getting backshots from Lance than Oscar.

No, don’t think about that Oscar. Don’t think about getting crashed into.

He considers the other thing a positive thing to think about. It’s a pleasant distraction.

He stands still, his feet planted far apart enough to make his stance into an upside down V. He pushes his hips from side to side, limbering up that last bit before he gets into the car. 

He tucks his bottom lip under his teeth, contemplating going and grabbing some painkillers last minute. He knows if he does, Oscar will see him and physically prohibit him from racing. Painkillers are pretty harmless, nothing to not race over, but to Oscar- it’s everything. If Lando feels the need to have painkillers to be able to race, Oscar doesn’t see him as fit to.

So he decides to go without. Clambers into his car, slides his feet in and lifts his hips up, trying to get comfortable. His helmet is put onto him by the help of two members of the McLaren pit crew, his steering wheel from another.

Hot streams of air push through his nostrils, trying to get himself to calm down. Holy fuck, clam down Lando. You’ve done this a hundred times before, you’ll do it a hundred more times- nothing is going to happen. 

It’s going to be a good race, he’s going to prove Oscar wrong. He’s gonna win, or he’ll get a podium.

When instructed to, he begins to drive up to his starting spot. There’s a buzz that starts in his head and travels down to his thumbs, one that isn’t from the rumble of the car. It’s another impending headache, one of the really bad ones. He’s had too many over the course of the past three days to the point that it’s expected- he just needs to remain collected.

First red light turns on.

Then the second.

Third, fourth, fifth.

Then they all go out and his foot stomps down on the pedal. It’s a good reaction, quick, he’s got Will in his ear telling him that. Around the first corner, he watches Daniel slow down, and he overtakes him. Hulkenberg was just in front of the older Australian, and now Lando feels himself just scraping past him. 

It’s off to a good start, and that’s expected. When Lando’s in the car, he’s no longer ‘Lando Norris’- he’s a Mclaren Formula 1 Driver. And that’s just what he does- drive.

By lap seven, he’s up four places, trying to get ahead of Alonso. Once that’s done, Russell is just in front with a quickly decreasing gap to Albon. He can easily take either of them once he’s at that point, both of their car’s pace look awful.

But by God, Alonso is proving difficult to get past. Lando swerves jerkily, trying to get on the inside of Alonso. As he does, it feels like he takes a knife to the head, a sharp pain shooting through the left side of his head. He loses the car, loses control, loses the race. He goes straight into a barrier, his back left wheel flying off. 

A red flag is called, and Lando hears repeats of ‘Lando, are you alright?’ in his ear over and over, Will’s fussing over the radio. Will fusses over him, Jon fussed over him earlier, Oscar always fusses over him.

Like he’s some sick, fragile, baby. 

Like he’s tragic and can’t take care of himself. 

Like he’s just made a silly little mistake for the first time in his career.

Like he’s not just an absolute fuck up who can’t say when. 

His vision goes first, then his hearing, then his ability to move. Then he’s out- like a fucking nightlight.

[aizenat]

This episode was the first full episode where we don’t have Claudia’s perspective to corroborate anything being said. And while her perspective is limited at times, if it aligns with what we’re seeing, it helps to discern truth from embellishment. But without it, this episode was messy in the sense that we got a lot of info but almost nothing to help us discern the facts. So now we have to rely on context clues and what we’ve learned so far, and let’s be forreal with how a lot of yall are NOT up for the task with this.

My biggest personal example being how quick you all were to believe and align with Lestat’s pov. Lestat the drama queen, the man with an admitted temper remembering how he watched Louis clutch at the air desperate for something to grab and stop his fall, who went across the ocean to step on stage and condemn the supposed love of his life to death. The Lestat who watched Claudia die on stage, and would have done the same with Louis on stage had Armand not did what he did to “save” Louis. But because he did it while crying, yall just buying everything he said? What?

Lestat is just as unreliable a narrator as Armand. And even Louis revealed this episode that he’s always going to remember himself in the worst light—or at least pursue that portrayal without argument—much more than Lestat and Armand because he carries his guilt with him in a way they don’t. He BLAMES himself for a lot of things they don’t blame themselves for. I believe Armand feels zero guilt for what he did to Claudia; just irritation it may have affected his relationship with Louis. Lestat doesn’t regret his actions, just that they sour his relationships with his paramours and result in him being alone again.

They regret the impact their actions have on them personally but not the result of their actions. Louis can be selfish too, but he feels the hurt he’s given fully. He feels how he failed Claudia, Grace and Mama Flo, Miss Lily even, and of course Paul. Even when he asks Lestat if he did something to cause Paul’s death, he always wondered because he likely blamed himself for bringing Lestat into their lives if Lestat had been responsible. Even if Lestat had done something, Louis would have found a way to make it his fault.

There’s a lot influencing this, but this episode really hit for home to me that Louis’ issues with guilt and shame, taking on the blame for things that aren’t his fault, also make him an unreliable narrative. Not because “oh he’s making people around him look worse so he looks better,” but actually because he makes excuses for them. He denied Lestat was abusive towards him, sympathizes with his tears of apologies and sob stories both after the fight last season and again at the trial, and he makes excuses for Armand’s inactivity. Even jumps to forgive him the second Armand implies he should carry some of the blame in situations too: he didn’t hesitate to believe he agreed with Armand on what to do with Daniel during that be apology scene. Louis runs to take blame in situations. It’s like he knows ifs hard to reconcile these men who claim to love hurting him so bad, so if he takes some of the blame for their actions, he can understand it.

It’s also, honestly, part of why he is quick to say things that he knows will go for the jugular. So he can say in the aftermath that he said horrible things “too,” as if they will mean he would have deserved what they do to him.

But it’s never that deep and words don’t ever excuse the level of violence and manipulation and control Lestat and Armand have used towards him. And the show is trying to emphasize that. Daniel not buying Louis’ excuses for Armand, insisting Armand sold Louis out despite being his boyfriend at the time; a betrayal that doesn’t justify 70+ more years of marriage. Claudia calling the audience (and subsequently the iwtv audience) out on gleefully accepting Lestat’s apology but not even giving her the opportunity to make one herself. And then I see fans do exactly that, using what Lestat says happened to undermine what we’ve seen so far.

Like all this hard work for the writers to make this shit plain for y’all to miss it every time.