#both couples are doomed but in very different ways

[ravenmacduff]

Sorry that I'm about to write a treatise on monsterfucking. But this post sparked that little obsessive part of my brain that needs to talk about it. So, I see monsterfucking in a couple of different ways. The most basic and simple is Monster HOT. Monsters are inherently sexy. And writers and directors *coughs Del Toro* recognize this and play into it. The Asset was designed to be attractive with a nice butt and kissable lips.

But we also have to ask why Monster HOT? Well, from my own experience as a trans woman, the monster is always portrayed as "the other". Myself and people like me are constantly demonized. They see us as dangerous. They call us predators, freaks, forced into this societal position where there are legitimately people afraid of us. (This goes for other marginalized identities too)

Afraid in the same way that they would be of a monster. And I think that's where a couple of my own ideas come into place. The first is empathy for the monster. In seeing ourselves in the monstrous, we want to reach out and offer love and affection. The same love and affection that we, ourselves need, and often don't receive. There's many horror movies where the monster just wants to be loved and in the end is rejected. Or killed based on societal fear.

King Kong is one story. It's represented in the final quote of the movie "It was beauty that killed the beast". Kong's love for Ann Darrow, which it's been a while, but I believe was rejected in the 1933 film, and accepted in the 2005 film. Kong always was "the other" (and was suggested in criticism of the film to represent blackness) to Ann Darrow, a conventionally attractive white woman. Kong's love of Ann represented the fears of interracial marriage at the time. Kong craved love, and society doomed him. As someone who is also othered doesn't it make sense to empathize with him?

Shape of Water, again also plays with this but more explicitly. Our Protag, Elisa is a disabled (mute) woman, her best friends are her black co-worker and her gay neighbour. All three are marginalized people. All three are shown to face discrimination throughout the film. Del Toro made sure that the fact these people were othered was text, rather than subtext. The main antagonist, Colonel Strickland, of the story is a white cishet man. His aggression, disregard for others and need for domination are extremely evident from his introduction. He's the kind of man who would be a protagonist in any other horror movie. Back to Elisa, it's her otherness that allows her to see the humanity within The Asset. The intelligence, the capability for love. In the end it's that love that saved both of them, while Colonel Strickland was doomed by his hate.

Those are just two examples of empathic monsters. For myself of course I want to love and be loved, and for a long time the fear of rejection for being a trans woman stopped me from truly achieving that. But I am loved and I'm loved by others like me. Who don't fear me because it found a different way to womanhood. And so of course I love monsters, because it shows I can be loved too.

My second thought about monsterfucking relates to a loss of control. Your powerlessness against a creature 10 times stronger than you. Who has all sorts of ways to make you submit. In other words a non-con kink. A kink that is often highly reviled because of its implications, but also very common. I believe the woman in the picture that I'm responding to is specifically referencing her own disgust with dub- or non-con.

Loss of control is a huge kink because many people, especially women feel like they always have to be in control. In control of their emotions, in control of any situation, in control of their sexuality, in control for their own safety. The point of being in control of our sexuality has been hammered in so intensely that to accept that we even have desires is hard. We're not supposed to want sex, we're supposed to deny ourselves. Slut shaming, attacks against women for being too sexual, all reinforce that a woman is not allowed to want for herself. We crave a release, to stop thinking all the time, to allow ourselves to want.

While heterosexual sex is so focused on the man, on the masculine penis, that a woman's pleasure is oft put to the side. You still have to think about others even when you want pleasure yourself.

Well, the monster doesn't care. The monster is going to give you exactly what you want have been denying yourself. This goes for men too. Louis from Interview with a Vampire is a good example. His bisexuality is frowned on by society, but Lestat doesn't care. Lestat is going to show Louis exactly what allowing himself to let go and accept pleasure is like. And for most of the movie Louis continues to try and deny himself, until he finally lets go and accepts who he is.

Speaking of vampires that brings me to my last point. Monsterfucking as a way to get power. And the clearest example I can think of this is Twilight. Bella, while attracted to Edward, was more interested in receiving the power Edward has, than Edward himself. She wanted to be a vampire and this was clear from the beginning. But Edward had to be all Mormon about it. There's many people who find power in the monstrous. To take a piece of the monstrous into yourself and thus gain the same power. And power is sexy.

Werewolves are shown as power through their physical prowress. It's very rare you see a lanky, malnourished werewolf. *Looks at a certain series with distain*

Idk I kinda rambled on. But those are my thoughts

Every day I am thankful to not be a TikTok user

[missholloween]

Don’t blame me for this one, blame @samuelandthesun

[ruvviks]

PLEASE DO NOT TAG AS YOUR OWN OC OR PAIRING.

Nathan and Ruben share a bond more powerful than most; mutual understanding through past experiences no one should ever have to go through, and through past actions so horrible they cannot be spoken of. Their grief and the blood on their hands binds them to the STEM technology they created, which has alienated them from the rest of the world— but they give each other the comfort they have both longed for so desperately for years, and that is all they need. They are each other's counterpart; you cannot imagine one without the other, like two sides of the same coin. Through their pain, their grief, their desire, and their regret, they have become one.

anna akhmatova, the guest // bones; equinox // 'i won't become' by kim jakobsson // agustín gómez-arcos, the carnivorous lamb // by oxy // achilles come down; gang of youths // czeslaw milosz, from 'new and collected poems: 1931-2001' // 'extended ambience portrait from a resonant biostructure' and 'migraine tenfold times ten' by daniel vega // a little death; the neighbourhood // marina tsvetaeva, from 'poem of the end' // by drummnist // katie maria, winter // 'nocturne in black and gold the falling rocket' by james abbott mcneill whistler // micah nemerever, these violent delights // body language; we are fury // 'the penitent' by emil melmoth // chelsea dingman, from 'of those who can't afford to be gentle'

taglist (opt in/out)

@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;

@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;

@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;

@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree

[hannyoontify]

die with a smile - kim mingyu

member | husband!mingyu x reader

genre | dystopian!au, apocalypse!au, angst, fluff

word count | 1.7k

synopsis | if the world was ending, mingyu would want to be next to you

warnings | mentions of death, blood, doom’s day?, reader has a smaller build than mingyu, you can guess the ending..

notes | yes, this was based off the legendary collab between lady gaga and bruno mars’ and the song ‘die with a smile’ pls check it out if you haven't this is literally one of the best songs ive ever listened to in the year of our lord 2024

can be read as a stand-alone or as a prequel to this mingyu fic!

‘Come on, slowpoke! Catch up!’ 

You were running in a green meadow and the tall, swaying grass that reached right below Mingyu’s hip tickled his knees with every step he took in your direction. The view in front of him was the definition of a living dream. The meadow went past the horizon for as long as the eye could see and the bright blue sky seemed large and vast as it loomed over him. The big, round clouds seemed to sway with the wind that blew gently past him, scattering his bangs that were swept across his forehead. Up ahead, you continued to run and skip through the boundless field, a bright giggle leaving your lips as you continued to taunt Mingyu.

‘Last one is the rotten egg!’

A part of Mingyu thought that he would be okay with dying like this.

‘Wait up!’ He picked up his pace and jogged towards you. ‘Baby-'

A loud rumble interrupted his next words as the bright and clear sky turned dark and murky. It was a gradual change, like storm clouds rolling on a sunny day. The rich, healthy grass under his feet began to shrivel up and dry as the dirt ground began to crack and shake. 

‘Babe? Mingyu-!’ And right in front of him, the ground gave away and swallowed up the love of his life whole.

‘NO! [NAME] NO-‘ Mingyu reached for you, his outstretched hand too far away to grab your flailing limbs. ‘[NAME]! NO!’

“NO!” Mingyu jackknifed awake, his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead and with a hand still outstretched for someone who could never be saved.

“Another nightmare?” Your voice seemed to snap Mingyu back in reality. He cleared his throat and climbed out of his tattered sleeping bag to sit by you at the entrance of the cave. The sky was similar to his dreams; dark and murky but now, there was also red. Everywhere. Mingyu gave up trying to differentiate what the different reds were: blood, lava, fire. It didn’t matter. All of it was going to kill him in some way or another.

He settled down next to you and rested his head on your shoulder. “It was the meadow one again.” Mingyu mumbled quietly. Although the sky was permanently the same kind of color all hours of the day, you and your husband tried your best to stick to some kind of circadian rhythm to try and keep yourselves alive for as long as possible. Right now, according to our bodies, it was the middle of the night and you were on guard duty. 

“What do you think it means?” You asked quietly as you reached up to run your fingers through Mingyu’s matted hair. Neither of you bothered to care about the blood on your fingers or the grime in his hair. You were far too deep into this to care about hygiene anymore.

“We’re all going to die,” Mingyu mumbled. “But I refuse to watch you die in front of me like that dream. I want to be next to you until our very last moment.”

You pressed your nose into your husband’s temple and breathed in a deep breath. It was random love confessions like these that reminded you of how much you loved Mingyu’s spontaneity before The Incident happened.

Before the first asteroid hit, you and Mingyu were a normal couple. You each had your respective jobs; Mingyu as the head of his own architecture firm and you as a research analyst at a biomedical tech company, and both jobs was more than enough to financially support your little party of two. The two of you spent your days together exploring the city and traveling the world together. On random Friday evenings, he would show up to your office 20 minutes before you got off with a bouquet of flowers and sheepish smile. Although he understood nothing about your work, he would ask questions and listen to your responses with a loving look in his eyes. He would hold your hand in the hallways, your matching rings glinting under the fluorescent lights as you clocked out. 

That childhood, innocent side of Mingyu disappeared after the world turned upside down. He became more dark and serious, almost never cracking jokes and fixated on keeping both of you alive. He also had a rotation of nightmares that visited him every night. They were different variations of the same vision; losing you first as the world ended.

“Guess what,” You whispered. “I got us some food. Real food.” 

Mingyu’s ears perked up at that. “Food?” 

The past 48 hours were full of rationing Haribo gummies, water, and granola bars. Although it was a difficult switch for you to get accustomed to, it was even harder for your husband, who was much bigger and needed more nutrients than the ones he received from gummies, water, and granola bars. It pained you to see the man you loved constantly struggle with hunger but didn’t even let out a single peep of complaint to you.

“They were really desperate for first aid so I did an emergency medical procedure in exchange for some instant camping food.” So that explained the new blood stains on your fingers. Mingyu kept his eyes trained on your trembling, bloody hands as you tried to open a package of camping food. The label read ‘Instant Lasagna. 2 Servings’.

Mingyu could already feel his mouth watering at the thought of real food. And lasagna? That was a total luxury that almost nobody could afford right now.

“Baby, can you start up a fire and boil some water? We need hot water for this.”

Fifteen minutes later, and the food was ready. Your eyes glistened with a newfound joy as you opened the seal and held out the first spoonful of lasagna towards Mingyu. “Take a bite and let me know how it tastes.”

He shook his head. “No, you first.”

“Mingyu, I know how much you’ve been struggling because of our rations. If you don’t eat first, I’m going to get mad.” 

And he definitely didn’t want that. He took the first bite.

“Oh god, that’s heavenly.” Mingyu’s eyes almost rolled to the back of his head as he groaned. As a head of a thriving architecture firm, Mingyu’s had his fair share of luxury dinners and fine dining in his 13 years of working, but this single spoon of instant lasagna cooked in a dark cave while the world was reaching its expiration date was better than anything he had ever tasted in his entire life. 

You beamed. “Really? That’s great. Have another bite-“

Mingyu held up his hand to stop you. “Your turn. I refuse to take another bite until you do.”

“Touche.”

This was your favorite position. Your back pressed against the front of Mingyu’s chest with his strong arms wrapped around you. It had always been your ultimate favorite way to cuddle, especially because Mingyu liked to nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck at random intervals and deep in a deep breath that tickled the hairs on the back of your neck. The current temperature (read: fire, lava, the basically non-existent ozone) would usually have you push Mingyu and complain that it was too hot, but now, every second counted.  

Another asteroid shower had started not too long ago. Usually, this meant packing up everything and moving further east, but both you and Mingyu came to a silent mutual agreement that you were too tired to continue. The two of you were beginning to come to terms with the fact that the world was ending and your time together was also coming to a close. 

With every distant thud you heard in the distance, you felt Mingyu take in a shaky breath and nuzzle his face further into your neck. “Gyu…”

“Shhh… I just wanna hold you right now.”

“Gyu, it’s getting closer,” You felt his arms tighten around you. He also knew what that meant. “Lie down with me.”

Mingyu spread his sleeping bag across the stone floor of the cave and gently lowered your head onto the floor, treating you so gently, like you were a piece of glass bound to shatter at any moment. He made himself comfortable next to you, letting you use his arm as a pillow as you buried your face into his chest. “Can you hold me like this?”

“Of course. Today, tomorrow, and every other day you ask me to.” Mingyu kissed the top of your head and sighed.

The two of you remained in silence like that for a while, your sweaty skins slick against each other from the heat, but you didn’t care. You were being held by the man you loved the most. The resounding thuds of the falling asteroids served as a constant reminder for the impending doom waiting for the two of you at the end of this as it drew closer and closer to the cave you were in.

“Look at me, my love,” Mingyu’s voice was ever so gentle and loving. He gently tipped your chin upwards to face him and his eyes roamed your face, as if he was committing every bit of it to memory. “You were the best thing that ever happened to me. Thank you for allowing me to love you and be loved back.”

You smiled. “I’m going to find you in my next life. I promise.”

“That, I won’t doubt for a single moment, my love.” Mingyu dipped his neck lower to capture your lips with his. Soft and gentle. Like Mingyu. A kiss that represented every kiss the two of you ever shared and the ones you will never be able to have anymore. “I love you so much.”

Through your bleary eyes, you tried to commit every part of Mingyu to memory. Under all the grime, sweat, and blood, was the Mingyu you first fell in love with during your freshman year of college. The boy who sheepishly asked for your number after the lecture only to lose to you horribly on your first date at your campus’ bowling alley. 

“I love you too.” You whispered.

Mingyu smiled. “Good night, [Name]. Thank you for being mine.”

“Good night, Mingyu. I love you.” Your lips tugged up into a bright smile. 

“I’ll love you in every universe. Wherever you go, that’s where I’ll follow.”

reblogs and feedback are always appreciated ^-^

[keepthedelta]

okay it's kinda specific but is there any brocedes fact that is often overlooked but you think that is essential (or perhaps gives a new approach) to the lore?

that's such a good question. i have several, i hope you don't mind

the first one is the "he'll always be my best friend in my heart" quote. i've seen a lot of people use it as a very earnest declaration etc. (or if they believe in the nico is obsessed with lewis shit as a sign of that) but it was actually nico making a joke when he was doing commentary (on the italian comms i think). he was asked a question about lewis and jokingly/sarcastically said "in my heart he'll always be my best friend", and then immediately clarified that it was a joke (maybe recognising the narrative that would be spun around it). i know this seems kind of anti-brocedes but i do think it is essential to the lore that people recognise nico is not a weird as fandom likes to make out. he's absolutely weird, and he's definitely not normal about lewis, but he's not obsessive, and he feels comfortable enough making jokes about them. when you contrast that with lewis who either refuses to say nico's name in conversations where he is the most relevant person (the better teammates than max interview) or brings him up unnecessarily and then panics about it (grill the grid), i think it changes the dynamic of who is yearning, who is "over it", who is winning the idgaf war (it's neither of them but the difference is lewis lost by playing and nico is open enough about giving a fuck that he's not pretending to play). i am biased, but i also think that if you look back at them during their careers, lewis was always weirder about nico than nico was about him, although again, neither of them can truly be described as normal about each other.

then there's nico beating lewis in the 2004 f3 series that they shared. the narrative of brocedes describes it as lewis always beating nico, lewis being the one to win and nico always being slightly behind. and largely this is true. but in 2004 they were both competing in the 2004 f3 european series, albeit for different teams. neither of them won, but nico narrowly beat lewis. now they were in different teams and nico himself has said that some teams had better cars and equipment than others and that made a difference in the end result. but, nico still beat lewis. he had nearly double the number of dnfs/dns (6 to lewis's 3) and triple the number of wins (3 to lewis's 1), finishing highest of all the entrants who eventually made it to f1 (nico himself, lewis, adrian sutil and robert kubica). but nico himself barely seems to remember this. the narrative of lewis always being better, always beating him, is something he seems to have internalised, even though it isn't quite true, or at least, not as true as people make out.

my third bit of lore is that mclaren wanted to sign nico for the 2008 season. following the drama of fernando alonso (affectionate) and spygate, mclaren had an open seat and ron dennis wanted to fill it with nico. he even offered to buy out nico's contract from williams, but frank williams viewed nico as their best hope and refused. the driver that eventually ended up replacing fernando was heikki kovaleinen, nico's gp2 rival and 100% finnish to his 50% (yes nico's national identity crisis does come into this). lewis ended up winning the championship that year. heikki took only 1 victory, and while i think lewis would have beaten nico, i think nico wouldn't have been a doormat for him like heikki, and would have won at least a couple of races, which would have allowed felipe massa and ferrari to succeed. in many ways i think an argument can be made that nico not getting that mclaren seat really helped lewis to win his first championship, in the same way that if lewis hadn't gone to mercedes, nico would have won three, or if nico had stayed, there is a very real possibility that sebastian vettel would have won 2017. their presence and their success dooms the other, and it always has.

my final thing is that they are the most successful teammate pairing in f1 history. it kind of links back to the last one, where the fact that they are each as good as they are hurts the other one, unlike a lewis and valtteri line up or a michael and rubens line up where there is a distinct number one driver and the other one is to be sacrificed for him. but, even though both of those pairs were together for longer (nico and lewis aren't even in the top 5 longest teammate pairings), it takes more than a number 1 number 2 driver lineup to be the most successful. it takes nico and lewis, who are both number 1 drivers (don't come for me on this, nico would have flattened the likes of valtteri, rubens, or mark webber and you know it). although they were only teammates for four years (and one of those was a sebastian vettel/red bull dominance year) they achieved more pole positions, front row lockouts, wins, podiums, and 1-2 finishes than any other pairing in f1 history. they were utterly, utterly dominant, and that's why they hurt each other so badly. they were the dream team, the absolute best f1 could come up with, but they weren't just competing as a team, they were competing against each other, and only one of them could win

[taliesin-the-bored]

Tag game: tag nine people you’d like to know better.

Tagged by: @oneshoulderangel (Thank you for tagging me!)

Last song: At the moment, I have "Losing Your Memory" by Alan Star stuck in my head, which I suppose makes it my current song, not my last song. Hm. I get songs stuck in my head very easily, but the last one I had there for a significant amount of time was a mashup of different language versions of "Les Rois du Monde" for about a week. "Lehetsz Király", the Magyar version, is probably my favorite of them. It's worth a listen.

Currently watching: Normally, the answer would be "random mostly terrible old movies/shows" or "nothing much", but I currently have a hyperfixation on the musical Roméo et Juliette and have been watching it in multiple languages. (Thus, the song).

Three ships: This is hard. Maybe as a result of being on the ace and aro spectrums, I'm more likely to care about which characters are interacting than whether it's romantic or platonic. Here goes:

Kedivere/Bedikay. It can be romantic, platonic, or queerplatonic, but whichever way, I'm here for it. I probably spend too much time thinking about how in Cullwch and Olwen, when Cai gets mad at Arthur and marches out, Bedwyr stays behind, keeps acting like nothing's happened, and isn't the one to avenge Cai's death. The feeling of betrayal on both sides has a lot of unexplored potential. And the version where Bedivere dies and Kay fights to bring his body back safely while mortally wounded himself... And the version where Bedivere survives Camlann and Kay isn't said to fight in it, so they might be left together after their world has fallen apart...

Platonically or queerplatonically, Galahad and the Grail Heroine. I really like the tragic Grail Quest friendships, but I like theirs most, maybe because there's something weird and otherworldly about them both. I like it when characters are strange and endearing and doomed by the narrative.

Ever since reading John Matthews' retelling, which I read before the original, I've had a soft spot for Caradoc and Guinier. The Story of Caradoc is very disturbing, and I have some major qualms with Caradoc over a detail Matthews cut out, but all the same, there's a reason these two have the best track record with magical fidelity tests. Each of them would go to the ends of the earth for the other, and together, they're stronger than any curse.

Favorite Color: Blue, particularly royal blue and some teals.

Currently consuming: Black licorice with chocolate.

First ship: This is a hard one, since through elementary and most of middle school, I tended to go along with whatever I thought the author's intentions were and was more likely to unship something. The first non-endgame ship I got invested in was Sonya/Nikolai in War and Peace. I didn't like Nikolai, but Sonya did, and she was my favorite character, so I wanted her to be happy. The first non-canon couple I thought was meant to be together was also in War and Peace: Marya Bolkonskaya and Julie Karagina. My eighth grade self did not think their letters could be interpreted platonically. I still don't.

Last movie: If the musical doesn't count, the last movie I watched was Quest for Camelot, which was awful. Though not Robot Monster-level bad, Robot Monster has an elegance to its simplicity which Quest for Camelot lacks.

Currently working on: Various fics, most of them Arthuriana or CotRK-related (I am woefully behind on the Badfic Bingo), and (theoretically) an epic-style poem, though I haven't gotten much of it written for quite a while now.

Tagging: @gawrkin, @emperorcandy, @wildbasil, @gorewound, @knightsofsomethingorother, @ladyminaofcamelot, @tasosotaso, @amashelle, @gingersnaptaff (I have no idea who's been tagged so far, apart from the people on @oneshoulderangel's post, so I apologize for any multi-tags)

[acourtofwhatthefuck]

A Friend In Need’s A Friend Indeed — Azriel x Cassian.

Summary: Azriel’s been mighty stressed recently. Cassian is a good friend with a good suggestion and a good mouth.

Note: I still haven’t had a chance to sort out my tag lists, I’m sorry. This has been sitting in my drafts for ages. Life has been so busy recently 😅

Warnings: Smut, 18+, minors dni. 💕

It’s clear to Cassian, the second he walks into the room, that the shadowsinger is in a foul mood.

In all honesty, Azriel has been in a foul mood all week.

He’s not very good at striking a work-life balance. Missions and reports and information flood his thoughts and keep him awake at night. They have done every night this week.

So when Cassian slumps down in the armchair opposite his, he eyes his friend and knows — Azriel is not going to be pleasant company tonight.

His brow is deeply furrowed and darkened as he stares down at the papers in his hands. Cassian considers asking him what, exactly, the report pertains to — but he selfishly decides that the information will numb his brain, and he doesn’t think he can bear to hear it right now. Whatever. Az doesn’t even glance up at him.

So Cass pours himself a drink and settles into the chair. And only after the fifth time Azriel sighs — yes, he’s counting — does he ask, “Long day?”

Az simply grunts and turns the page. This is going to be a long night.

"You look like you could use a drink," the Illyrian General pauses. "Or ten."

No reply.

Cass says, "Az."

"What, Cassian?"

"Why don't you put those papers down and have a conversation? Or better yet, let's go to Rita's—"

"I'm busy."

Cassian purses his lips. “The world isn’t going to end if you set your work aside for the night.”

“Your world is going to end if you don’t stop yapping in my ear,” Azriel pauses, scans the paper — and then growls, chucking it onto the coffee table in front of them both. “This is fucking pointless.”

Maybe Cass should ask, he thinks. He studies his friend. “What is it, exactly, that’s had you in such a foul mood all week?”

Azriel’s bleary hazel eyes merely flick up to him; clearly he doesn’t appreciate the observation. Dark smudges sit beneath his eyes. His entire body, shadows and all, is coiled tightly. Tense.

Oh. Oh. A fight, Cassian realises — a fight is what’s going to take the edge off. Goading Az, provoking him…he’s done it more times than he can count in centuries of friendship. Letting him get a few punches in will surely ease the tension. Cass is willing to do that for him.

“You’ve just been a rain cloud of fucking doom all week,” he smirks as the shadowsinger stiffens even more. “Perhaps you need to get laid. Although, no one will surely come near you while you’re walking around with a face like a slapped ass.”

Cassian waits for his retort. For him to surge forward and knock him out of the chair, or for him to demand that they go right up to the training rings at once and speak through their fists, considering Cass clearly has a lot to say.

But Azriel’s jaw ticks, and he merely shoots back, “Suck my dick, Cassian.”

The mischief almost winks out of Cass’s eyes. Almost. It’s not the response he’s expecting.

But he rights himself and sits up, his smirk widening. “Is that what it will take to cheer you up, Az? Getting your cock between my lips? When was the last time someone sucked you dry?”

The irritated twitching of Azriel’s eye tells Cassian that it’s been way, way too long since someone sucked him dry. And that shocks Cass. Az has many lovers dotted about the city — many different people he could lose himself in for a couple of hours. If he’s not even tearing himself away from his stress for some mindless pleasure, it must be bad.

“Cauldron,” Cassian raises an eyebrow. “Maybe I should suck your dick.”

There’s no response. Not even a bark for him to fuck off. Azriel simply shifts in his armchair and clutches a cushion to his lap.

And Cass tracks the movement. He narrows his eyes on that cushion, and it takes him a shamefully delayed moment to realise that it’s been very deliberately placed there. He chokes out a laugh, “Holy shit, are you hard?”

“I wouldn’t be,” Az grits his teeth, “if you’d just shut the fuck up and stop talking about sucking my dick. It’s been a while, okay? I’m wound up.”

“…And is your hand not working, or…”

“It’s not enough. I’ve tried. I can’t…I can’t come.”

Silence settles between them. For once, Cassian isn’t quite sure what to say.

And perhaps Az is expecting him to make a joke, because he shakes his head and quickly stands. Grabs his reports. Makes to book it the fuck out of there.

But Cass says, “Wait.”

“Forget it, Cass—”

“I’m not laughing at you, Az,” he sits up. “You know I’ll always help you in any way that I can.”

Azriel scoffs. “What, like sucking my dick?”

“Why not?”

“Can you be fucking serious for five minutes.”

Cass shrugs, “I’m completely serious.”

Azriel stares back at him, narrowing his eyes. But the usual humour and banter…it’s absent. His face is open, honest.

He’s serious, Az realises. Completely serious.

The shadowsinger raises an eyebrow. “Cass…”

“Are you saying no?”

“…Well, no—”

“So sit down, Az.”

The choice is entirely Azriel’s, and the shadowsinger himself knows that. He can sit down and…and take what Cass is offering…or he can walk out of here and leave that boundary unbreached.

It feels a little surreal as his feet begin moving. Back over to the chair he’d vacated.

He thinks he might be shaking, which is weird, but sex and all that it involves tends to come naturally to Az. But in five centuries, it’s a line that he and Cassian have never crossed. They’ve seen each other naked plenty of times. They’ve fucked other people in the same room. It’s never come to this.

Until now.

Azriel watches as Cassian rises from his chair and stalks over. He can’t believe he’s actually doing this, can’t believe Cassian is actually offering.

But there’s nothing but sheer will in the General’s eyes as he sinks to his knees. Azriel parts his legs for him.

He swallows hard as Cass drags his hands up his legs. And his voice comes out in a rasp as he says, “You don’t have to do this—”

“Az?” Cass cuts him off.

“Yeah?”

“Shut up and enjoy it.”

He can hardly argue with that. And as Cassian unlaces Azriel’s breeches and tugs them apart, the spymaster isn’t sure he’d be able to find the words, anyway.

Cassian’s hand is huge and warm and rough and callused. And as he reaches into Az’s breeches and pulls his hardened cock out, both males let out a little breath.

“Oh, yeah,” Cass eyes the rigid length, the swollen head, leaking with moisture. “You really need this.”

Azriel’s response dies on his tongue at the first stroke. He can only manage a grunt.

“Whatever you need, Az,” Cassian pumps his hand, dipping his head. “Fuck my mouth. I can take it.”

And then, gripping Azriel’s cock in his hand, he drags a broad stroke of his tongue, from the base to the head. Azriel’s hips jerk.

“Shit,” he grits his teeth, eyes intently on Cassian’s tongue.

Cassian smiles and does it again, “Like that?”

“Yeah. Yes. Can you…”

“Put you in my mouth?” as his tongue once again reaches the head, he wraps his mouth around it and hums his approval. He laps at that little pearl of moisture that’s waiting there.

“Fuck, Cass,” Azriel gasps. He relaxes in the seat, fingers sinking into Cassian’s hair.

Cass realises quickly that he enjoys this. He’s had the odd experience with males over the years, but it’s mostly females that take his fancy. But this — feeling Azriel’s cock disappear into his mouth, feeling his thigh flex under his hand, feeling him jerking and writhing on the spot — gods above, he’s so fucking hard right now.

His lips and tongue seem to work in tandem. He drags his mouth over Azriel’s length, licking and sucking as he goes. And then he pulls his lips off him and repeats.

Azriel’s breaths are picking up. This is so much better than his hand. He actually feels like he might come, and not just be beating away at pleasure that never comes to anything. He moans, pulling at the strands of Cassian’s hair. And at the same time, he uses his other hand to push Cass’s head down.

“Gods, Cass, your mouth,” he growls, encouraging the bobbing motion that Cassian’s head falls into. With every push, Cass takes him in deeper, deeper.

And with saliva dripping from his chin, and the head of Az’s dick damn near grazing the back of his throat, a single thought crosses Cassian’s mind: he really likes sucking cock.

“Harder,” Az grunts, not even sure he means to say it. But he just wants…wants Cass to be rough. Wants this to be teetering on the edge of pleasured pain.

But Cass pulls his cock out of his mouth, wrapping his hand around the length. He pumps fast, hard, and then says, “Fuck my mouth, Az.”

The second Cassian’s lips are wrapping around him again, Azriel does exactly that.

He’s lifting his hips and gripping Cassian’s head with both hands, and he thrusts, hard, panting and sweating and swearing. Cassian takes it all like a champ, greedily swallowing every taste of him. His hands grip the back of Azriel’s legs, and he slides his mouth all the way down.

And this time, when the head hits the back of his throat, Azriel stills.

“Fuck!” He shouts, groans, gasps, roars. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

His cock is absolutely exploding. A week’s worth of pent-up frustration shoots from him and spills down Cassian’s throat. Cass swallows. And swallows. And swallows. Every last drop. He moans while doing so.

Az thinks his hips are still rolling long after his release has rocked him. He can’t bring himself to let go of the pleasure, to remove his cock from his friends mouth. It twitches on Cassian’s tongue and dribbles the remnants of his seed with every jerk. Cassian stares up at him with swollen lips and lustful eyes.

And then, after what feels like an eternity, the two males finally part. Both are breathing heavily. Cassian wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

“That was—” Azriel swallows, tucking himself back into his breeches. He doesn’t bother to lace them up. “When did you learn to do that?”

Cassian’s smirk is purely roguish as he pushes to his feet. “I’ve learned a whole lot of things you can’t even begin to imagine,” he rolls his shoulders. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

Az watches him, his eyes falling to that hardened bulge that pushes through Cassian’s own trousers. He clearly enjoyed what just occurred. And that thought alone has Az’s cock twitching to life again.

He leans forward, opening his mouth — to say what, to suggest what, he isn’t sure. But before he can voice his desires, footsteps are approaching.

Both males straighten up as Rhys appears in the doorway, a drink in his hand.

The High Lord sniffs, his brow furrowing. And then he looks between his two friends — Az’s unlaced breeches and heaving chest. Cassian’s swollen lips. He puts two and two together.

“Cauldron fucking boil me,” is all he grouses, and then he’s turning back and leaving the way he came.

Leaving Cassian and Azriel alone once more.

[storiesofsvu]

Decadent Desires Ch 19

Emily Prentiss x reader warnings: language, alcohol consumption, the usual denial of feelings. It's all coming together now! Only a couple of more chapters to go! I'm super curious to how y'all think things are gonna go down and exactly when the oh moment really will be/what's gonna make them both admit it to themselves.

3.8k

Emily was a little later than she thought she would be, barely making it before breakfast hours ended but the important thing was that she got the food and she made it to your place and wasn’t whisked away by any phone calls. Securing the bag and drink tray she made it through the halls of your building until she was outside your door, knocking on it the best she could with her elbow. It took a couple of minutes, she could hear some shuffling gong on inside, but you finally pulled the door open, your head titling at the sight of her.

“Hey.” She greeted with a warm smile.

“Hey…” you replied, a tiny laugh coming from your mouth, “what’re you doing here?”

“I promised I’d bring brunch.” She held up the bag, “well, lazy brunch.” She surveyed you for a minute, watching the gears turning behind your eyes and it was her turn to laugh. “Oh my god, you really are out of it. Jetlag gets you that bad? I thought you travelled for work?”

“Not often.” You admitted, feeling the heat creeping into your cheeks as you fully remembered the conversation in her office, “and it’s only ever like, a two hour time difference.” You stepped back, letting her into the house and raising your hands to take the tray and bag from her so she could get rid of her shoes and coat.

“You really forgot I was coming?” She asked, swiping the bag back from you and following you into the living room.

“Figured you were off on a case.” You shrugged, dropping back down onto the couch, fiddling with the remote to turn the volume down as you burrowed yourself under the blanket you’d been under before the bell rang. “I’m glad you weren’t though…. I’ve been doom scrolling through three different apps trying to decide what to get delivered for hours without a single thought in my head on what I could possibly want.”

“Well, enjoy some delicious grease then.” Emily suggested with a smile, pulling what she wanted from the bag before handing it over to you.

“Thank you. Seriously.” You eagerly searched through it, pulling out a McMuffin and a hashbrown, your stomach loudly growling. “Would’ve wasted away to nothing without it.”

Emily laughed softly, watching the intricate way you inspected the ingredients of the sandwich, adding both ketchup and hot sauce into it before slipping a hashbrown next to the egg and putting it all back together. You let out a very appreciative groan after your first bite and silently gave her a very thankful look that she didn’t need words to transcribe.  

“I’ve never tried that.”

“Oh my god it’s the best.” You mumbled over a bite of food, swallowing it down “especially when the hashbrown’s extra crispy like this.”

“Guess it’s a good thing I got extras.”

“Anyone ever tell you you’re a true angel?” You asked and she laughed.

“Not often.”

“Well you are.” You leant in, kissing her cheek gently, “thank you.”

“Of course.” She squeezed at your knee, “I bailed on an arranged date, I had to make it up to you.” She gestured toward the tv, “now, what’re we watching?”

“Real Housewives. LA I think?” You shifted over to your right, nestling into the corner of the couch, your legs extending onto the longer part of the sectional as you adjusted the blanket. “It’s my brain rot show, I can never keep the cities straight. Now c’mon.” You waved her over to you, “make yourself at home, get comfy and put your feet up.”

Emily laughed softly, easily sliding in beside you as you pulled down another blanket to make sure there was enough for both of you. The sectional was wide, the extended portion more than spacious enough for you to both use it without being right up against each other. Not that that mattered, once breakfast was eaten and you just had coffee to sip on (you didn’t miss that Emily skipped coffee at McDonald’s, opting for a local shop a couple of blocks from your place so she could get your preferred seasonal blend) you were nestled right into Emily’s side. Her arm instinctively looped over your shoulders, encouraging you to lean into her. If you squinted hard enough and it wasn’t for the blustery weather outside the windows, it was like you were back on vacation.

With the television playing on, it didn’t take very long before you were drifting off, Emily managing to snag your almost empty coffee cup before the remnants split all over your couch. She was more than happy to let you snooze against her, your heart beat calm, thudding against her own rib cage and eventually lulling her to sleep too. Either one or both of you would wake up occasionally throughout the afternoon, sometimes shifting because of a cramped shoulder or foot, others because your bladder was screaming or because you desperately needed some hydration. The channel got changed a couple of times, flicking between a few options so you weren’t totally sucked into one overdramatic mess of somewhat real reality tv. Otherwise the two of you returned to your little corner of the couch, burying deep into each other’s arms with happy sighs and content little smiles. There wasn’t much of a better way to spend a Sunday.

At one point you woke up with a small yawn, rolling in Emily’s lap toward the arm of the couch to go back to sleep when a piece of your hair suddenly yanked. You thought it must’ve just been caught under your shoulder or her arm, it had been lose earlier, but Emily made a small noise.

“Sorry…” She winced and when you rolled your head back to look up at her she had a sheepish grin on her face and the ends of half your hair in her hands. “I got fidgety, needed something to occupy my hands.”

You let out a small laugh, carefully shifting so you were sitting at a better angle for her to continue the braid, “I, uh.. kinda wanted to ask if you would do it anyways but I thought that might we weird or something.”

“Not weird at all.” She assured, “as long as you waking up to some weirdo braiding your hair wasn’t weird.”

“You’re not a weirdo. If I woke up to Tony doing it, I’d kick him out.” Your body relaxed into her legs, “and.. for the sake of you not doing it, undoing it and doing it over a million times, the pink basket under the table has fidget toys.”

“You have a collection?” She asked, genuinely curious.

“Heather started buying them for me because I kept fidgeting with and breaking her super fancy expensive pens.” You explained and she laughed, “and I’m not allowed to have clicky pens at important meetings anymore.”

“Such a strict boss.” She teased, her fingers softly tickling at the back of your neck, pulling a shiver from you before she dug around for an elastic to finish the first braid.

The afternoon continued much like the morning had, half watching shows, mild chit chat, cuddling and dozing as the skies turned grey and the rain started. The next time you woke up the sun was completely gone from the sky and the side Emily had been pressed into was cold. You were going to just wait a minute, let your brain realize what you were even watching when you heard the tell tale sounds of your pantry drawers being slid open and shut. With a yawn, you pushed up to sitting, looking into the kitchen over the back of the couch.

“Hungry?” You asked and Emily nearly jumped, letting out a small laugh as she stilled.

“Me? Your stomach was making volcano noises so loud I’m surprised you didn’t wake yourself up.”

“We can just order.” You offered and she waved you off.

“Nah. I think I’ve got everything I need I was just looking for your spices.”

“Small cupboard, top right by the stove.” You replied, watching for a minute as she pulled it open and plucked through them, picking out a couple.

Curiosity got the best of you and you stretched out your limbs, a few of them cracking, achy muscles finally feeling relief as you moved off the couch and padded into the kitchen. Your arm snagged around Emily’s waist and you pressed a soft kiss into her shoulder.

“Thank you.”

“Anytime, and hey, we were both hungry and you were asleep. I figured the best thing I could do was snoop.”

“You want wine?” You asked.

“Please.”

Moving seamless through the room around each other you pulled down a couple of glasses, grabbing a handful of ice from the freezer for her glass before you popped a bottle of white, filling one up and sliding it over to her. You opted for red yourself, sliding the white into the fridge and the malbec back into the wine rack before you hoisted yourself up onto the corner of the counter. A happy hum left your lips when you took your first sip of wine, your body relaxing as you watched Emily move through the kitchen.

Every so often she had to ask you where a specific pan or utensil was but otherwise she had everything covered. She would never say that she was a particular whiz in the kitchen, but she could get a pretty good handle down on things, alter recipes to simplify them to what was on hand and go from there. The television was still going in the background, giving some background noise to the experience when the two of you weren’t talking.

You watched with a small smile as Emily popped two butterflied chicken breasts, coated with shake and bake into the oven. She turned back to the island, where she had pulled out all her supplies so she wouldn’t forget anything, glancing through them until she found the jar of pasta sauce.

“You have garlic?” She asked, raising a brow toward you, breaking herself out of her zone. She caught you half staring at her, hiding behind the rim of your glass and instantly felt the heat creeping up the back of her neck.

“Yeah.” You smiled, “powder’s in the spice cupboard, fresh is on top of the microwave.”

She chose the fresh garlic, swiftly crushing it and doing her best at mincing it up before tossing into a pan with some onion and oil.

“You want a hand?” You asked and with an almost shy smile she shook her head.

“Nah. I’m cooking for you; you just sit there and look pretty.”

“The hardest job of them all.” You mocked, a small laugh escaping your lips and Emily felt the blush creeping into her cheeks again.

Twenty minutes later and she was plating up a semi makeshift chicken parm for the two of you, spices added into the jarred sauce, and working with whatever cheese was in your fridge, but it smelt and looked delicious. You refilled both of your wine glasses, settling at the island to eat, groaning over how tasty it was. You teased Emily for never having cooked for you before, saying she was locked in and trapped now. She laughed, a glittering in her eye as she glanced over to you, a warmth blooming through her chest at the way you were looking at her.

Since Emily had cooked you ushered her away when she tried to help with the dishes, filling up her wine glass once more and pressing a soft kiss to her cheek. With the kitchen clean, you flicked the overhead light off, scooping up your wine glass as you crossed back to the living room.

“Think you’ve got a movie in you?” You asked, noticing the way she was flicking through options on the screen.

“Yeah.” She looked up to you, shifting your preferred blanket out of your way so you could take your place beside her on the couch. “Figured I’ve got at least that much left before bed.”

“Did you want to stay?” You asked, tucking yourself under the blanket and nuzzling into her side.

Her scrolling through the app paused momentarily before it continued, “yeah. If that’s okay.”

“It’s perfect.”

**

Tony had been relentlessly bugging you for lunch, dinner, coffee, any kind of hangout since discovering you in Emily’s office. Knowing that he was likely going to press into things you didn’t really want to get into in public you’d finally said that as long as he brought takeout and a bottle of wine he could come over Thursday night. You’d picked through dinner at the kitchen island while you caught up, Tony surprisingly holding back while he listened about your vacation (that you held back plenty of details on) and he took some time to vent about the current NCIS/BAU case that was still open and struggling to move anywhere.

Eventually you dragged him and a fresh bottle of wine upstairs. All of the shopping trips over the past few months had your closets overflowing a bit too much for you liking and you wanted to get a head start on some spring cleaning. Your attention was mainly on pulling things out of your closet as Tony poked around your room as per usual.

“You know, if you know any FBI secrets, you should probably let me in on them.” He started, “I am an agent of the law after all.”

You nearly snorted, rolling your eyes and continued to ignore him.

“I mean, at the very least, should I think about switching departments? You think an SSA gets a better paycheque than us?  I could probably put in for a pretty smooth transfer after this case closes…”

“You’d never do that to Gibbs.” You interrupted, breaking off his train of rambling, “and Emily has family money, the job didn’t make her rich.”

Tony had been your friend for long enough that he didn’t need to be a profiler, hell he didn’t even need to be a special agent to pick up on the way your eyes lit up when you said Emily’s name. How you couldn’t seem to control your smile when you told him stories about the Maldives with a far off look in your eyes that you didn’t even register yourself. He wanted to know more, he wanted to know everything, but he knew you weren’t just going to share it all at the drop of a hat, when it came to things like this, and planting the seeds he wanted to, he had to tread carefully. Even if the seeds had already been growing for weeks already.

“So..” he leant back into an armchair, crossing his arms behind his head, “tell me more about Emily.”

You cast him a look over your shoulder as you tossed another dress into the donation pile, “I already told you; we enjoy our time together. I’ve expanded my repertoire of fancy restaurants in DC, could probably compile a list for you. You want it in order of cost, food quality or first date to proposal?”

“Please,” he teasingly scoffed, “the food is the last thing I’m interested to hear about from your dates.”

“You know I don’t kiss and tell Tony.” You threw a balled up shirt at his face, “especially considering she’s currently your co-commanding officer. I don’t need you looking at her and knowing what she’s into, gross.”

“As entertaining as that might be…” he straightened out the shirt, folding it before adding it to the donation pile, “I was more curious about the other side of things. I mean… this is the longest you’ve been with someone in a few years.”

He caught the way your hands faltered, the dress in your hands nearly slipping off the hanger before you caught yourself, straightening it to return into the closet.

“Trust me, it’s not like that.” Laughing, you turned back to him, hands crossed over your chest, “She paid nearly sixty thousand for that vacation and that’s if the all inclusive comment was true and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t. Then she tried to pay me on top of that for my time. I’m basically an over qualified sex worker.”

“As a member of law enforcement, I can confirm that you aren’t.” He replied, his hand reaching out as he started to fiddle with the jewelry stand on your dresser, “and if you were, the woman running an entire unit of the FBI wouldn’t be so happily enjoying it. It would be all secrets, dark hotel rooms and NDA’s.”

“Tony, lay off it.” You replied with a huff, turning back to your closet, “I already told you; I don’t have time to date.”

“You spent Sunday night with her,” he offered, “you’re hanging out with me right now. You even had enough time to swing by her office, which is in an entirely different district, in the middle of a work day, with lunch and you were there for at least an hour. Seems like you have plenty of time.”

“It’s not about physical time and you know it. It’s about, the emotional labour, having to be on all the time, getting through the awkward stages, fucking small talk.” Your fingers slid down a plum dress, pulling it out from the row of clothes and you felt your heart leap when you realized it was the dress you wore on your first real date with Emily, the one that was so rudely interrupted by her phone before you could even get a chance to kiss her. You groaned, letting the dress fall back into your closet to be kept, “dating fucking sucks.”

“We’re not talking about casual dating or swiping through apps and having to deal with a million first dates, we’re talking about Emily.”

“What about her Tony?”

“You wouldn’t have brought her lunch if you didn’t like her.”

“I wouldn’t have said yes to being her sugar baby if I didn’t like her. I stopped by because Heather basically ordered me to.”

“So you’re telling me things between the two of you are strictly contractual? Financial and sexual benefit only?”

“Yes!”

The way your heart was suddenly beating in your chest, the worry that was beginning to eat away at your insides was telling you that Tony was onto something. You’d been so surrounded by work it had been incredibly easy to shove your feelings down, only leaning into them when you were out with Emily, as if it was part of the show, part of the sugar baby package. It kind of was after all, the flirtation, the compliments, the making her feel wanted and appreciated, taken care of, it was part of what she was paying you for. You’d said it yourself; companionship was far more than just sex. Even if you had started to slip deeper into the role than you’d originally intended, developing real feelings, it wasn’t like Emily was on the same page, she was playing her part too. Tony was grasping at straws, no matter how hard he wanted to push his fairytale narrative, or how fast your pulse happened to be.

He seemed to be able to read your mind, see the hesitancy in your eyes as his nagging sank in.

“Hey,” he nudged at you with his foot, breaking you from your daydreams, “you can claim whatever you want, but you cannot deny there were more than just two wine glasses in your drying rack.”

“So?” Your brow furrowed, it didn’t matter if Emily had been over at your house, that was nothing new.

“There were also two coffee mugs, two full sets of dinner plates and utensils, which likely means homemade, not takeout. I mean, most situations like this everything happens at hotels, you guys stopped that months ago. That on its own is one thing, but your bathroom tells a different story?”

“Do tell Very Special Agent DiNozzo.”

“Second toothbrush, different set of shampoo and conditioner, perfume that is far too floral for you to ever wear, glasses cleaner on your nightstand and your vision is twenty-twenty. There’s a Yale hoodie on the back of your couch which is interesting considering you went to Georgetown and Prentiss has a Yale degree in her office. You keep two spare sets of keys on a hook in your kitchen and surprisingly, one of them is missing. I would say that’s the most suspicious part of it all, but don’t even get me started on these.” His hand lifted up the cardboard backing containing your starfish earrings and you felt your cheeks heat.

“Guess she saw them in the gift shop at some point and thought they were cute.”

“Bullshit.” He grinned, “when you found out NCIS meant time on the water, you were practically infatuated and wanted to know everything about it. I could’ve married you right then and there.”

“Yeah right.” You scoffed with a laugh.

“We had a movie marathon, I brought Splash and Mermaids, you reluctantly, and rather intoxicated, brought out Aquamarine. You love that movie more than anything and you never tell anyone about it unless you really trust them or care..”

“it’s not like it’s a take to the grave secret.”

“You were down in the Maldives, right on the ocean and got all gooey and starfish eyed, that dreamy smile on your face, swimming every day pretending you were a mermaid, that you were free and you told it all to Emily, didn’t you?”

“It might’ve come up.” You shrugged.

“And instead of her laughing it off or thinking it was childish or stupid she went out and found starfish earrings to buy for you and now you have a permanent and physical reminder of the trip and time spent together.” He placed the jewelry back down on the dresser, “I think the two of you might actually have something here and it would be a shame to waste it away because you refuse to talk about it.”

You cast him a look, one only a best friend of twenty years could fully understand without you saying anything and he shook his head with a laugh.

“I’m just saying, things seem a lot more comfortable and intimate than I would expect from a sugar baby relationship. Did she pay you for lunch?”

“Not with money.” The corner of your lips curved up and a smirk flashed across his face as he made a growling meow noise.

“What about Sunday?”

“I told her not to.”

“My point exactly.” He stepped toward you, softly cupping your face, “you’re happy right now. Happier and less stressed than I’ve seen you in years and I want to see you keep being this happy, don’t deny yourself that, okay?” He pressed a kiss to your forehead, finally dropping his hands, “let the girl who buys you starfish earrings and thinks they’re adorable be your girl.”

“Just help me get these bags out to the car, okay?”

_______________________

@mickey-gomez @momlifebehard @daddy-heather-dunbar @maybe-a-humanbean @rustyzebra @leftoverenvy @kades95 @dextur @supercriminalbean @emilyprentisssluvr @lex13cm @zizzlekwum @emobabeyy @riveramorylunar @scorpsik @onmykneesformarvel @inlovewithemilyprentiss @regalmilfs4me @ara-a-bird @inlovewithmiddleagewomen @kmc1989 @irishavengersassemble @hopedoesntknow @venromanova @waitaminuteashh @noahrex @imlike-so-gaydude @wittygutsy @cx-emerald-cx cx @momily @nilaues @borinxnovakxprentiss @Soverign @v3nusxsky @mccdreamys-writes @l4yne @obsessedwjill @asolitaryrose3 @lisqueen @mrs-prentiss @whitewinewithice @d33pd3sire-blog @daffodil-heart @maximoffcarter @i-lovefandom @chimnlex @moonlightjxuregui @chestnutninny @gamma-rae-bursts @just-moondust @idkifimasub @gaydragonwitch @dowsedwithbleach @divergentalwaysandforever-blog @m1lfsh4ke

[undying-love]

Hi!! Could you make a compilation of all the times their relationship is compared to a marriage (or something similar), either by them or by people close to them?

"Marriage", "love affair", "girlfriend", "wife", etc: A Compilation

“I think it was like he was married to Paul. And now he was married to me so it was like a situation that he didn’t feel like he wanted to go back." (Yoko Ono)

"Why this odd little Japanese lady? The reason, many people believed, was that more than a trophy wife, a model or an actress, John needed a chum. His love affair with Paul McCartney was ending." (Peter Brown)

“That’s very hard to delve into. They were great friends, and had great mutual respect, but they were also quite different from one another. I don’t know. Human relationships are tough to analyze. It’s like trying to talk about someone else’s marriage.” (Peter Asher)

“I still think at the back of John’s mind was this fascination of wanting to get back with the first girlfriend... and that was to get back with Paul, who he had so much history with.” (Tony Barrow)

"It's like a marriage. These two broke up. And it took Paul a long time to get over it. John too, but he was just too macho to show it. But they had a marriage before Yoko arrived, although they both had girlfriends before." (Ray Connolly)

"It [Mick and Keith's relationship] had all the irrationally and passion of a love affair. Lennon and McCartney had a similar bond between them." (Marianne Faithfull)

"Paul and John kind of knew that they were growing apart, and Let It Be was almost like a marriage that’s failing, and they wanna go on their date nights again" (Giles Martin)

"There’s no hard feelings or anything, but you just don’t hang around with your ex-wife. We’ve completely finished." (Paul)

"Then also we were like married, so you got the bitterness. It’s not a woman scorned this time, it’s two men scorned — probably even worse. And I had to make way for Yoko. My relationship with John could not have remained as it was and Yoko feel secure.” (Paul)

"It was as if I was another girlfriend, almost. Our relationship was a strong relationship. And if he was to start a new relationship [with Yoko], he had to put this other one away." (Paul)

"I've compared to a marriage a million times and I hope it's… understandable. For people that aren't married. Or any relationship. It was a LONG relationship." (John)

"With Yoko present, Paul's reign as Lennon's princess was doomed."(Peter McCabe)

"In a marriage, or a love affair...there comes a point where the marriage collapses because they can’t face that reality, and they go seeking what they thought they should be having, still, somewhere else. I get a new girl, it’ll all be like that again; I get a new boy… But for all marriages, all couples, it’ll all be the same again. But what you lose is what you put into that… relationship." (John)

"..an old, estranged fiancée of mine called Paul." (John)

"Paul and John were emotional partners in a powerful, creative and loving way." (Paul Saltzman)

"Julian and Sean had lost a father; Cynthia, her knight in shining armour; Yoko, a fellow artist, contemporary and house husband … and Paul? Well, call me crazy, but he lost the wife. I’m certainly not implying anything of a carnal nature here, but to almost all intents and purposes (as John would have put it), what they had was a marriage.” (Ruth Mccartney)

"When John and Paul split up (think of them as a couple for a moment) their second mates had to stand by them." (Francie Schwartz)

"For a reason to hold a grudge [against Yoko], think about the possibility of this: She took John from him. And she didn't particularly want to share John with his "ex significant other" on certain levels." (Francie Schwartz)

[anniflamma]

My Thoughts on The Thunder Saga

I've been thinking about The Thunder Saga all day, even though I have a headache, and I can say one thing: I liked it!

I was mostly prepared for the emotional damage in Mutiny/Thunder Bringer for multiple reasons, like collaborating with Jay on the ending of Thunder Bringer. However, I was genuinely surprised by Suffering, Different Beast, and the reveal that Odysseus had already tried to kill Eurylochus during Scylla. I really wanted Odysseus to go full-blown monster mode in Act 2, so I felt satisfied.

Maybe this is a hot take, but I have never really felt bad for Odysseus. The only time I did cry and felt for him was when his mother was singing to him in The Underworld Saga. I've never been fond of the crying, shooting soldier type, both in fiction and in real life. I've watched too many documentaries that made me incapable of feeling bad for people or characters committing cruel acts on others and then crying about it like they were the victims.

The song Suffering was a delight! You immediately knew something was wrong just from the happy tone of the music, especially since we were left with Monster. At first, I thought it was a flashback, and yes, the comment "daughter" piqued my interest. Then I quickly thought it was a dream, but at the same time, something felt wrong.

When it switched to Different Beast, my first thought was, "Did he just shoot Penelope?🤣 " And yes, we now know it was the Sirens! But the imagery is very ironic. I even see it as a parallel with the first saga, with the infant. Odysseus has a whole song about his struggle with the decision to kill an infant that reminds him of his own child, ends up killing him, and then in the second act, he kills a female creature that looks like his wife without hesitation. That, folks, is character development! Yes, Odysseus knew it was a Siren, and we can still tell that he is somewhat tries convincing himself in Different Beast.

"My real wife knows I'm not scared of the water And my real wife knows I don't have a daughter"

Essentially, he is reminding himself that this woman in front of him isn't his wife.

All the cruelty against the Sirens was unnecessary. But that is the point! He believes that the only way home is to be as ruthless as possible. However, bringing unnecessary suffering to both foes and friends was obviously the incorrect decision.

Musically, the song Different Beast didn't really click for me. I mostly found it edgy and not really "cool," if you know what I mean. I've heard it a couple of times but still have a hard time remembering the melody, weirdly enough.

If I ever make an animatic of these songs, it will probably be all together in one animatic. Those two songs are meant to be one, but I understand why they are separated due to the major difference in tones.

The song Scylla was the least anticipated song for me. The snippets didn't really catch my attention. But I did like the conclusion of making Scylla and Odysseus have a short duet at the end. Scylla's cruelty was just a mirror of Odysseus, and he was the one actually killing his men. I think this saga really was Eurylochus' peak in terms of characterization. Eurylochus confesses that he was the one who opened the bag and has suffered with this weight and guilt. Odysseus, in his state of mind, turns away and tells Eurylochus to light a torch, knowing that action will doom Eurylochus. Odysseus straight-up tried to kill Eurylochus already, and I thought it would happen in Mutiny! XD

That moment was cold! No words, no goodbyes, just "Light the torch."

Then we have Mutiny. I really liked it! The callbacks to Luck Runs Out were a bit expected but felt so good when they happened! I've seen comments here and there saying that Eurylochus was a hypocrite due to his comment from the Circe Saga to abandon the men who became pigs. Odysseus even brings that up! But Eurylochus is very justified in calling Odysseus out for his actions.

"When we fought the Cyclops, you were quick to hatch a plan And when we fought with Circe, it was you who left behind no man But when we fought this monster, we didn't take a stand"

Odysseus could have made a plan that at least could have increased the chances of survival for the six men who died. But he didn't, he only thought of himself and betrayed them first, using them as bait to guarantee his own survival. Eurylochus, in the Circe Saga, was a man who was scared, confused, and filled with guilt for opening the bag. So his wanting to take the cowardly route is understandable, but it's nowhere near what Odysseus did.

So then they fight, epic moment, we all love it! And for the second time, Odysseus tries to kill Eurylochus but ultimately fails because Perimedes stabs him in the back. Odysseus is like, "My brothers, why?"

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY??? But that is still the point of Odysseus' perspective. He is acting like a ruthless monster now, so he is in a state where he is incapable of understanding or more like thinking of his victims' perspectives. Of course his men would defend themselves from him, of course they would betray him, of course they would backstab him. If you treat your own friends as disposable, eventually there will be a reaction: they will either abandon you or retaliate. It takes an immense depth of pride to feel secure with someone you have inflicted suffering on. And pride is the very theme in this saga!

When Luck Runs Out plays but the roles are switched, it felt a bit nostalgic in a way, but it's still a bit distorted. This time, Odysseus is the one singing Eurylochus' lines, but it's not him being confused and doubtful, instead, he is scared yet manipulative. Eurylochus opens up and is vulnerable toward Odysseus. He feels hopeless, clearly experiencing survivor's guilt.

"Eurylochus: How much longer must I push through doubt? Odysseus: I need to get home Eurylochus: How much longer must we go about my life like this when people die like this?"

When it doesn't work, Odysseus switches from "I" to "we." I love that detail. It's not genuine, and I love it!

Thunder Bringer… I loved it. There, I said it! There is nothing more! LOVED IT! ⚡⚡⚡ I am so happy that I got to do an animatic for Jay for this song!

Thunder Bringer is the song where Zeus punishes the whole fleet for killing (presumably) Apollo's cattle. My theory now is that Apollo doesn't like Odysseus for killing his cows in God Game, and Athena is probably like, "Yeah, but his men did it, not him." And Apollo is like, "Touché."

EDIT: I know that the cattle is Helio's but I speculating maybe the musical will change that to Apollos. Who knows!

Essentially, Zeus literally comes down and sets things straight. Instead of being sneaky and witty like Odysseus usually tries to be, Zeus just gets to the point, "Who gets to live?" And Odysseus points at Eurylochus/the crew, saving himself from Zeus' punishment. Well, I do see that Calypso's island is Odysseus' punishment in a way. It's an ironic one. He comes to paradise and gets a home and a wife… just not the home and wife he wanted. I have some fun ideas for my Thunder Bringer animatic!

Rest in peace, Eurylochus. You will be missed.

[soshirohoshinasimp]

"Are ya alright...!?"

Synopsis: Savior!Hoshina x Civilian!Reader

Author's note: Thanks @hoshinaideas4all for the list of ideas, and for curing my writer's block. 

This was really fun to write, mainly because I was trying to patch up on writing falling in love scenes,  describing things and poetry. (Mainly destruction, sadness, depression and just describing things in general.) So this was very fun writing. I hope you all really enjoyed this one, and especially enjoy the poetry at the top! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wc: 1500 (whoopsie doo) 

To love something means you feel an endless wave of excitement. It’s like when you’re glued to a romance movie and can’t wait for the main couple to finally be together. Every scene has your heart racing and your emotions bubbling over.

To love someone feels like you’re living in that movie. It’s like you’re the main character, and everything around them feels magical and special. Even the smallest gestures become epic moments.

But these two kinds of feelings, while both thrilling, are different from each other.

One day, you were managing your new restaurant. It was a busy, exciting time for you, as you were sending out orders, crafting drinks, and handing out menus to customers. You had just opened the place a few weeks ago, so it was still just you working there. There were no employees yet, just you, living your dream of owning a restaurant. You’d worked hard to get this far, and it felt amazing to finally call it your own.

But then, Once a dream turned into a nightmare.

It was a regular afternoon when the chaos began. You were in the middle of preparing an order when you heard a loud crash. Your heart skipped a beat as you looked up to see a group of yojus —huge, monstrous creatures— not a lot though, around five to ten -- bursting through the restaurant’s front window. The once-glass window shattered into a million pieces, sending glass flying everywhere.

The kaiju were terrifying. They were massive, shaped like mushrooms with crimson red spots on their heads, They thrashed around, causing destruction with every movement. The walls of your restaurant, which you had carefully decorated and maintained, started to crack and splinter. You could hear the ominous creaking of wood and the groaning of metal as the restaurant’s structure began to give way, as more yojus came rushing through. 

You ran to the back, trying to stay out of their path, but the kaiju were cornering you. Some were even coming in and out into the ceiling, and a huge chunk of the ceiling fell right where you had been standing just moments before. Your heart pounded in your chest, and your breathing became shallow and erratic. You could feel the panic rising, squeezing the air out of your lungs.

In the midst of the destruction, you tried to call for help, but the noise of the kaiju and the crumbling building drowned out your voice. You stumbled, almost falling as the floor shook beneath you. The restaurant, which had been a symbol of your hard work and dreams, was now a chaotic, dangerous mess. The walls were closing in, and pieces of the roof were falling in different spots, creating a maze of debris.

Fear gripped you tightly, making it hard to think clearly. You saw more parts of the ceiling start to buckle, and you knew you had to get out, but your legs felt like you had weights in your pockets. Every time you tried to move, the ground shook violently, making you lose your balance. The sense of impending doom was overwhelming. It felt like everything you had worked for was crumbling in front of you, and you couldn’t do anything to stop it.

The last straw came when a massive piece of debris fell dangerously close to you, and you saw the entire section of the roof beginning to collapse. It was like a scene from a disaster movie, and you were trapped in the middle of it. Despair and resignation took over, and you felt as if your whole world was falling apart. With your heart racing and tears streaming down your face, you just sank to the floor. You sat down on your bum, closing your eyes tightly and bracing for the worst.

In that moment of absolute terror, you felt completely helpless. You could hear the kaiju’s roars and the sound of the building breaking apart. It felt like time was stretching out, and every second was a mix of fear and anticipation. You were sure you were going to die, and you prepared yourself for the end. But what you weren’t expecting, silence. No more sounds of the kaiju. Or was your mind playing tricks on you?

Then, through the chaos, a heavy accent pierced through the din.

“Are ya alright..!?” 

Loud and Commanding

You opened your eyes to see a man with striking crimson eyes and a bowl cut of midnight purple. He was wearing a JAKDF suit, and  held a sword in each hand. He moved with incredible speed and precision, slicing through the kaiju with expert skill, cutting through the monstrous creatures effortlessly into bits. 

His eyes werefilled with concern as he looked at you. The contrast between his calm demeanor and the chaos around him was striking. His presence was like a beacon of hope in the midst of the disaster.

You watched in awe as he fought off the remaining kaiju, his movements fluid and graceful. It was like he was dancing through the chaos, and you felt a strange sense of calm as you saw him taking control of the situation. His confidence and strength were reassuring, and you couldn’t believe someone like him was there to help you.

With the last kaiju defeated, he sheathed his swords and extended a hand towards you. You took his hand hesitantly, and he helped you to your feet with surprising gentleness. His touch was firm but careful, as if you would break on any sort of impact, and it grounded you in a way you hadn’t felt since the attack started.

“Yer not injured are ya..?” he asked, his voice gentle but full of curiosity.

You nodded, still feeling a bit dazed and flustered. You could hardly believe what had just happened.

“Thank…thank you,” you managed to say softly, your voice trembling with relief.

“Anytime, ma’am! Comes with the job,” he said with a smile that made you feel all warm inside. His smile was like a ray of sunshine breaking through the clouds. Even though the conversation lasted less than a minute, it felt like it was in slow motion. Your heart skipped a beat, and you felt a wave of emotions washing over you. It was like the world had paused just for that brief moment. 

It felt like roses were blooming when he spoke. 

As quickly as he had come, he was gone. He walked out of the restaurant, leaving you standing there with your heart racing and your mind spinning. You gathered all your remaining courage and called out to him, “Uh! When you stop by, your first few orders are free of charge!!”

He turned back and looked at you with a playful grin. “Aren’t ya sweet? Guess I’ll be expectin’ to see ya real soon.”

With that, he left, and you watched him go, feeling a deep sense of gratitude and something else—something you couldn’t quite put into words. His departure left a significant mark on your heart and mind. 

In less than a bit, the ambulance arrived and was taking some of your customers into the vehicles, and just like that the “eventful” day was finished. When you arrived home to your little apartment. You couldn’t stop thinking about him, and his voice seemed to echo in your ears every day. With the restaurant being repaired, you spent the rest of the night in your tiny apartment researching who this hero was. You pulled out your computer and began searching for information about him.

You figured he was part of the defense force, but you weren’t sure which division. After two hours of digging through profiles, you finally found him. In a group photo with the division’s captain and the entire division, there he was.

Soshiro Hoshina — Vice Captain of the JAKDF Third Division.

You dove into his social media pages, learning everything you could about him. You replayed the scene where he saved you over and over in your mind. You found yourself doodling pictures of him and daydreaming about him with a smile on your face.

Was this just a crush?

Probably not. You fell for Soshiro Hoshina so quickly and so deeply that it felt like you deserved a medal for the fastest in record time to fall deeply in love.  You eagerly awaited the day when the cleaning and remodeling would be finished so you could see him again and hear his voice.

Man, getting over him is going to be really tough.

[enlitment]

i am curious about robespierre and camille and “doomed by the narrative”, if you are free i would love to learn some more about them since i only have basic frev knowledge!

- @iron--and--blood

Thank you so much for the ask! ✨

The short version is that they started off as school friends and got separated for a couple of years after finishing their studies. Then the revolution started in 1789 and brought them together again by uniting them in their shared goal, only to completely tear them apart in 1794. And by ‘completely tear them apart’, I mean that Robespierre was one of the people who signed the decree for Camille’s arrest which led to his execution in 1794. Talk about star-crossed…

The answer would not have been possible without this great article by @anothehumaninthisworld btw! Definitely go read it if you haven’t already and are craving more information.

Both Camille Desmoulins and Maximilien Robespierre studied at Lous-le-Grand, the former Jesuit school, in Paris. Camille was 2 years younger than Maximilien, but they definitely knew each other, and there is a strong suggestion that they were friends back then. Later, Robespierre calls Camille his ‘study companion’, ‘college comrade’ and (and this will be important later, so just put a pin in that) ‘a talented young man without mature judgement’. Their favourite topic to discuss with each other was apparently the Roman Republic - because of course it was. I also like to imagine they bonded over their enthusiasm for classical authors!

Although two years is not that much of an age difference, a lot of people (including Przybyszewska, who takes it to the max) picked up on the fact that their dynamic was kind of like this:

picture by @did-slid-skid (hope it’s okay to share it, if not then I’ll take it down. Give it a like here!)

…and it sort of continued to be like that until the bitter end, but let’s not get ahead too much.

Once the revolution kicked off and Camille started publishing his first newspaper, he seems to have tried to capitalise on the fact that he knew Robespierre,whose political career at that time was already gaining significant traction (in a bit of ‘I’m so proud of my famous talented friend! Just look at Robespierre! And have I mentioned he is *my* friend?!’ kind of way). At this point, Camille might have had an incentive to exaggerate their closeness a bit to help his own journalistic career.

But I think it’s fair to say their relationship became closer once again sometime during 1790 since Robespierre was not only a witness at Camille’s wedding to Lucile, but he also became a godfather to Camille’s and Lucile’s son Horace, according to some sources. And if not a godfather, then definitely at least an occasional babysitter.

Also not super relevant from a historical perspective but the wedding scene in La Revolution Francaise is very cute, despite the film's many issues:

Then, around late 1793 and the first half of 1794, things got really messy. I mean, they were always really complex of course, it was the revolution and fractions kept forming and falling in quite a rapid succession. I mean messy specifically in regards to Camille. To put something really complicated as simply as possible, Camille started to be associated with the Indudgents/Dantonists - a name coined for the political fraction which included figures like Georges Danton and Fabre d'Églantine, who was involved in a massive corruption scandal.

Around that time, Camille also started publishing a newspaper – La Vieux Cordellier – which criticised the actions of the Committees and as such, came to be seen as something that was actively undermining the authority and the efforts of the revolutionary government.

There was quite a heated public exchange between Camille and Robespierre in January 1794 at the Jacobin Club. It also marks one of the greatest instances of what I like to call ‘using Rousseau as a weapon”.

Basically, Robespierre ordered Camille to destroy the copies of his journal, to which Camille replied by quoting Rousseau and saying "to burn is not to answer." It's important to know that Rousseau was *the* hero of Robespierre - a fact of which Camille was fully aware - so this was meant to cut deep. It must have stung!

Robespierre then replied “Learn, Camille, that if you were not Camille, one could not have so much indulgence for you”. This to me really illustrates the nature of their relationship at this point in time.

I am not sure how much of this is actually historically accurate and how much is my view based on the interpretations of their relationship in the media, but the sense I get is that Robespierre was quite protective of Camille until he felt like he had no choice but to move against him.

Despite the small age difference, there seemed to have been kind of an older, wiser person in a protective role/younger man led astray (or, if you want to go the Przybyszewka's route, acting like a brat) dynamic. Robespierre is quoted referring to Camille as a ‘spoilt child’. I mean, Camille might have been one of the first people to be called enfant terrible (I swear I saw it somewhere and did not hallucinate it, right?), despite being a man in his 30s.

Camille's whole vibe is somehow 30+ going on 14. Like that's pretty much a historical canon.

But then, in one way or another, the situation reached a point where for Robespierre, the importance of preserving the revolutionary cause outweighed the importance of friendship with Camille - his old college comrade. (DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE!)

In March 1794, Robespierre, as a member of the Committee of Public Safety, was among the people who signed Camille’s arrest warrant and thus, with a stroke of a pen, sealed his fate.

blood and ink parallel etc etc you get it ~

According to Robespierre’s sister, Charlotte, Maximilien tried to visit his friend in prison. I'm including a longer version of the quote because it is fascinating! Przybyszewska includes this supposed event in her play, The Danton case. It is also something which I may or may not have capitalised on in my own writing. Ahem.

"all I know is that my brother had much love for Camille Desmoulins, with whom he had studied, and that when he learned of his arrest and his incarceration in the Luxembourg he went to that prison in the intention of imploring Camille to return to the true revolutionary principles he had abandoned to ally himself with the aristocrats. Camille did not want to see him; and my brother, who would probably have defended and perhaps saved him, abandoned him to the terrible justice of the Revolutionary Tribunal."

An important question though is whether we can trust Charlotte as a source here… (most likely no?) If it were true though, it just screams doomed by the narrative (and own hubris?) to me.

Lucile Desmoulins, Camille’s wife, meanwhile tried to plea for Camille’s release by writing to Robespierre and trying to remind him of his and Camille’s friendship:

Have you forgotten these ties which Camille can never remember without tenderness? You who prayed for out union, who took our hands into yours, you who have smiled at my son and whom his infantile hands have caressed so many times (…) Even if he (…) hadn’t been as attached to the republic, I figure his attachment to you would have functioned as a substitute for patriotism, and you think that for this we deserve death?

(I’m not crying you’re crying)

Lucile’s letter, however, did not help to change Robespierre’s mind and overturn the decision. On 16 Germinal Year II (5th of April 1794), Camille Desmoulins was executed, along with other Dantonists.

Just one more line that always makes me sad, to really rub it in as a special treat – from Camille’s letter to his wife from prison:

“I have dreamed of a Republic such as all the world would have adored. I could never have believed that men could be so ferocious and so unjust.”

Or, as @anotherhumaninthisworld aptly puts it in the tags, Camille and Maximilien’s relationship essentially boils down to this:

(Really funny, but ouch.)

Their relationship also features prominently in the works by S. Przybyszewska, an early 20th century Polish playwright who very much picks up on the potentially queer vibes of Camile's and Maximilien's dynamic and just runs with it. She's much loved by the French Revolution Tumblr fandom for writing what is essentially a beautiful extremely angsty historical RPF in the 1920s.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - The unexpected rise of cooking crush & seme bjs

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Jan 2024 Wk 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 9 of 12 - I love this show so damn much. This may be my KinnPorsche. It’s just so endlessly entertaining in a perfectly unhinged way. I love that they looped Tharn’s dad back into the murder investigations.

You know kinksters have invented necklaces that can’t come off… right? Just saying.

Meanwhile, would it still be BL if our seme didn’t wake up from drowning and instantly go chase snake?

No. No it would not. 

Remember the one hard and fast rule of BL? When a seme gives a BJ it’s penance. Phaya is apologizing to Tharn for leaving him behind.

Heh. Hard and fast. I kill me. 

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 10 of 14 - How is this absurd creature managing to rise in the ranks? Pavel turned in some stellar grief and ALANJEFF have my whole heart. I make Ikea puns in the... Trash watch happening here.

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 7 of 12 - The make-out montage was absolutely charming and very much American rom com style - interesting (and rare) to see in a BL (not to mention from OffGun. How far we have come since Puppy Honey?)

Meanwhile, another wonderful grandma in a BL!

Next week we do an actual harken back to Puppy Honey, so obviously I’m now enjoying this whole show way more than before. I think it helped that I watched it earlier in the week, when it wasn’t competing with any other BLs. 

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 11 of 12 - Not gonna lie, I knew from you all that this was gonna be a rough ep. But I very clearly remember the penultimate Bad Buddy ep so I now have slightly more trust than others in GMMTV on this matter. 

That said, this was a crap episode.

You can’t set Mork’s truth and character motivation reveal up like that and then have his lover choose to dismiss him in a way that diminishes not just both character's growth AND all of Mork's actions towards Day, but also our faith in every other character. It was a shitty narrative thing to do to us, and it was a shitty thing to do to Mork. And that doesn’t even take into account the forgiveness allotted by the story to Day’s unrepentant excuse for a mother.  The doom should have been handled differently. The mom shoudl have leaned in even more evil and actively lied to split them apart.

I don't know if they can redeem this misstep in the final episode. But I'm interested to see them try. That said, this plot seem to be true to the book. 

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 8 of 12 - A major trigger has landed. But also it’s clear who’s fault that incident was... and it’s not Him’s. So Blue's so-called-friend really is unhinged. This episode was a little bit more engaging than last week, but it’s only because stuff actually happened. I’m still not sure I enjoyed it. 

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 12fin - Despite the fact that I’ve been annoyed by the show the last couple of episodes, I’m still sad for it to end. It was a good reveal and First had the right response. Also a very sports way to end it. Sprite is a v clingy bf. 

In brief?

A messy very Thai pulp sports romance that actually managed to involve sports in an identical twins trading-places plot. Basically Not Me meets HIStory 2 Crossing the Line (although vastly inferior to either) with an endearing main character and a good lead pair (poor things), both soapy and earnest without too much camp. It tried so hard but the plot, side couples, and extraneous characters let us down. Passable if not great. 7/10 

Time the series (Thai Gaga) ep 2 of 10 - Eh. Whatever. 

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) ep 22 of 24 - skipped this installment

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (Japan Gaga) ep 2 of 10 - Funny how quickly he retracted that confession and everyone called him out for doing it too soon (including me from a narrative beats perspective). It was a cute screw up - I see what your meta-arse is doing there, Japan. Also our Tokyo-boy’s serious reserved earnestness is extra adorable in the surrounded by Osaka enthusiasm context. His accidental flirting is that much more heart wrenching for our poor baby seme.  And they ended this ep with honorific negotiations!! Be still my heart. I’m really adoring this show.

Your hyung romance super fan is back in the game! 

Meanwhile the Osaka accent is beyond adorable. 

Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 6 of 8 - Japan what are you doing? I do love the not-sorta-ex from the past. 

VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 10fin - I loved all the young people in the hawker center supporting the campaign against the terrible mother. They make a good domestically sappy couple. But that is Taiwan's specialty.

In brief?

A sweet if aimless story about a writer and a chef finding love via noodles, fake dating, and family challenges. If it had a tighter script and a shorter run, more like a KBL this might’ve been quite special. But it didn’t and it lost me too many times. 6/10

I don’t like to be disappointed by Taiwan. 

It's done: I Need to Catch up

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - will binge when I have any spare time. 2024 is crazy busy for me so far.

The Servant and the Young Master - from Vietnam so I assume it's on YouTube. I never even noticed. Anyone?

Began Beginning (Myanmar YouTube) - Is TRUST Entertainment bringing us the first ever Burmeses BL? I don't know if it's really the first, but @heretherebedork vouched for it, so I will give it a watch through.

It's Airing But...

[INTERNATIONAL] Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube) ep 3 of 12 - yeah Japan put the smack down on our boys. Sadness. You can use a VPN if you like. Read all about it here.

Beside You (Thai YouTube) - a 3 sp short that's supposed to have started but I can't find it.

Ossans Love Season 2 (Japan Gaga) - 5 years later, will anything have changed? This is Japan so… probubly not. I won't be watching this. I disliked Season one and actively hated the follow ups. No thank you.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. I DNFed this at ep 5. Frankly I'm impressed with myself for getting that far.

The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Ends next week. Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). I don't think even the perfect single dimple can motivate me to watch. Word is... it's terrible.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes. I'm waiting to binge if safe.

Dead Friend Forever (Thai Sat iQIYI) - horror, meh, tell me if it's worth my time?

In Case You Missed it

All my year-end round ups:

TOP 10 BL Trends of 2023

Top 10 BL Secondary Pairs of 2023

2023 BLs Best Trope Execution Awards! TOP 10

All the BLs Announced for 2023 that didn't happen

BL 2023's Best:

Back Hugs Thailand & Elsewhere

Cute Bits of Domesticity

Boys Feeding Boys

BOOP!

Best Cuddles

Heads in Laps

Touching Head Touches

Thailand Put His Head on Your Shoulder

Put Your Head on My Shoulder (not Thailand)

BEST KISSES (not Thailand)

BEST KISSES FROM THAILAND

Next Week Looks Like This

1/23 Happy Ending is a new high school set Strongberry 20 min short staring the actor who played Milk on Choco Milk Shake, so... YES PLEASE. I'm not sure where it will air but we all have our fingers crossed for Gaga or YT. Or both.

1/24 Love For Love's Sake (Korea Gaga & iQIYI)- based on the Manhwa ‘Love Supremacy Zone’ by Hwacha. A young man is dropped into a game based off a novel he loves. His mission is to make another player, YeoWoon happy. But then the game starts unfolding completely different from the novel.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Viva la BL grandma superiority! (Cooking Crush)

Cooking Crush casually givign us some lovely lesbians (as indeed did The Sign). GL makes for a lovely acessory BL, carry on.

Now GMMTV, give us the REVERSE.

I love this dork SO MUCH. (Pit Babe)

I love that Cherry Magic is doing this scene over. One of my favs from the original.

Yai is BEST BOY. MVP and most likely the winner for 2024's Namgoong award.

(Last week)

[dami-is-delusional]

Fighting or Flirting?: A Series of Confusing Events (seriously. someone stop them.) - Steve Rogers x ExHydra!Male!Reader

Summary: You used to be an experiment, curated by Hydra to be a living weapon. Somewhere along the line, SHIELD saved you and decided to place you with the Avengers. As the superficial leader, Steve Rogers tried his best to welcome you. Somehow it all went downhill from there... until it didn't!

(enemies to lovers, might not be the most accurate Steve, my second fic ever so i apologize in advance.)

PART TWO: Meeting the Avengers (and your downfall... jk it's just your future bf!)

If someone were to see your expression on the car ride to the Avengers tower, they would've assumed someone had just killed your puppy. But nope, you were simply upset that you had to join the team of heroes. Were you even going to get paid for this? Probably not. You sighed, the agent who was driving paid no mind. Now, one might be questioning why you were so against joining the Avengers. If it were anyone else, they probably would've been absolutely thrilled! Who wouldn't want to be in the same space as the heroes of New York? You. That's who.

It wasn't like you had anything against them. No, quite the opposite. You admired their heroism and their desire to keep people safe. You found it noble and extremely cool. It was like something out of your comic books. The real problem was the fact that you would have to work with them. As in teamwork. As in talking to them. As in socializing and having to hold conversations.

Due to your experience at HYDRA, you knew how to do many things. Like how to intimidate and interrogate people into giving you information. How to sneak around buildings without making a sound. How to end someone's life in 74 different ways. You know, the basics! What you didn't know how to do was how to interact with other human beings. Making conversation past a basic introduction? Not your thing! Turns out that being isolated from humanity for a good portion of your life doesn't exactly do wonders for your social life. When SHIELD took you in, you were perfectly content with going on solo missions where you only had yourself to depend on. That's what most of your life has been like anyways. It wasn't anything new. You went from one set routine at HYDRA to another set routine at SHIELD, both in which you were by yourself.

Now, you were being added to a team of people who already knew each other pretty well. You would be an outsider who didn't even know how to knock on the door. You didn't know how people behaved around each other. You didn't know how to get closer to people. You had very low hopes on surviving this. You sighed once more and the agent driver ignored you and your brooding once more as well.

The tall and imposing Avengers tower stood like a mean taunt. Poor little Y/N is going to have to function like a normal human being! Let's hope they don't secretly hate you! You looked up at it and grimaced. It almost felt like the building was making fun of you and already predicting your inevitable doom.

"Maybe doom is a bit much. Oh, who am I kidding? If I'm lucky, the building will explode and I won't have to talk to anyone," you thought hopefully. You looked at the tower for a couple more seconds. No explosion. You sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. Before you could decide to run away to India, you stepped into the building.

The elevator ride up to the floor you were told to go to was nerve wracking. Questions and doubts swirled inside your mind like a snowstorm trying to keep you frozen where you stood.

“What if I can't do my job properly? What if I can’t figure out how a team works? What if I trip when I step out of the elevator and that’s all they think about?” Luckily (and unluckily) for you, your thoughts were brought to a stop when the doors of the elevator opened. Taking a deep breath and giving yourself speedrun mini pep talks in your mind, you took your first step as an Avenger.

CRASH.

Several people stumbled over to the elevator and tried their hardest (and failed miserably) to look normal and stoic. Clint Barton and Tony Stark seemed to have toppled over each other in an attempt to be first. Natasha Romanoff and Bruce Banner approached in a much more orderly fashion, the former looking as though she was going to whack the first duo. Finally, the poster boy of all of America. Steve Rogers. How could someone look like a Greek statue and a golden retriever?

“So these are the Avengers… at least I didn’t trip!” you thought, feeling the most joy you could muster up from this day.

The owner of the building and the man who could probably buy your entire life with one phone call started to speak first.

"So you're the new member that Eye-Patch was telling us about! Welcome to my- our tower," Tony said in greeting, correcting himself after a sharp nudge from Natasha. You knew both Natasha and Clint since they were also SHIELD agents like yourself. You hoped that they could help you out so that you didn't actually have to talk to someone entirely knew about it.

"Yeah, I'm Y/N L/N," you answered simply. You were already off to an awkward start as you stood there, unsure of what to say. You had expected this, of course, but it felt ten times more unbearable in real life.

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Steve Rogers, welcome to the team," came a kind and gentle voice.

You looked over at the source and saw Captain America himself, smiling politely. What were you supposed to say to that? You didn't want to lie and say you were happy to be here.

"Shit, should I smile back? Do I say thank you? Oh wait, a thank you sounds right..."

Hoping no one took note of your obvious silent panic and hesitance, you cleared your throat, "Uh, thank you. I hope... we can get along...?" you weren't sure if you were actually replying or asking a question. At this point, you were just relieved that you managed to say something at all.

To your surprise, the recently defrosted Super Soldier just continued smiling. It was beginning to creep you out. "I'm sure we all will. We're excited to have someone new! You should join us for lunch, Stark is taking us to some shawarma place," Steve offered, his golden boy smile seemingly glowing and radiating with his optimism.

The idea of being thrown into a group social setting right off the bat made you want to jump out of a window. You prayed to some divine being that your face didn't automatically react and show your distaste to such a plan.

"I'm okay, thank you. I'm just gonna... find my room and settle down... and stuff," Lord, you wanted to shoot yourself because of how stupid you probably sounded to them. You saw the slightest falter in Wonder Boy's face but it was gone the next milisecond.

"That's alright! You do that. We can all get together another time," he suggested. You just sort of laughed awkwardly and walked past them with your bags. You wanted nothing more than to hide in a hole and never come out.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y is gonna help you find your room!" Tony called out as the group walked over to the elevator. You turned back slightly to nod in acknowledgement, even though you had no idea who the hell 'Friday' was. As you did, you noticed that Steve was staring at you oddly. He immediately looked away when you caught him. Weird... but who were you to judge?

The elevator door closed and you let out a shaky sigh. How long would you have to repeat the tedious and torturous act of making conversation? You picked up your bags, ready to crash into a bed.

Now for future references, if anyone asked you if you screamed louder than a tornado warning siren when a disembodied, robotic voice began talking, you will deny it with your whole body and soul.

So that's who F.R.I.D.A.Y is...

A/N: This totally did not take almost a full month to make, no you're just being crazy. I don't procrastinate EVER.

Side note, I don't know why I put this off for so long. I will try my best to be a tad bit more consistent in the future.

[couldawouldashoulda50]

From Completely Different Worlds - William Nylander

The Sweden Chapter - Part One

A/N - This is a continuation of the above mentioned series between William Nylander and Loren Girard. Link for the all previous chapters are here.

it is also an early birthday submission for my dear @misshoneyimhome in advance of her actual birthday in October. Since she has been a such a big part of this William x Loren journey, I wanted to dedicate these final parts to wrap up this story (for now at least) to her. I just hope I can get Part Two done in time 😉💕

As ever, thank you for taking the time to read, like, send in comments and asks. It's beyond encouraging and is very much appreciated. I hope you like these final parts.

Warnings/Notes - this goes along the lines of the Leafs, and William himself stating he suffered from migraines at the start of the playoffs. Additional warnings based on symptoms (severe headaches, nausea, vision impairment), profanity, allusions to sex/smut

Word Count 8.6k (sorry) 18+ only please.

Recap - In March of 2024, after meeting at the Easter Seals Skate charity event in Toronto, a bittersweet romance unfolded between hockey superstar William and personal support worker Loren. Their chemistry was undeniable, and they quickly fell for each other, creating a whirlwind between them that felt so incredibly right.

For Loren, each encounter with William felt like it might be her last with the hockey star. She approached their time together with a mix of excitement and caution, trying to balance a level of detachment. She knew his star was too big, too bright for a small-town girl working two jobs to pay the bills. Yet, she couldn't help but fully embrace the amazing person he proved to be.

As the NHL season progressed, William's performance on the ice—which had already been declining—became increasingly noticeable. The mounting pressure left him at a crossroads. Under intense scrutiny from both himself and the media, William made the difficult decision to limit distractions and focus solely on his game.

William and Loren parted ways with heavy hearts. Despite her attempts to remain detached from William's magnetism, the breakup deeply affected Loren, leaving her full of sadness. William, though seemingly despondent while delivering his decision to Loren, maintained a cool demeanor afterward, as if nothing outside the arena bothered him. Despite his scoring slump in the final stretch of games, William had already surpassed his career-best point total by a double-digit margin. He finished just two points shy of 100—an impressive season for him overall.

And so it went, the Toronto Maple Leafs would be facing the Boston Bruins in Round One of the Stanley Cup playoffs. The city seemed nervous but hopeful the team would be able to trounce the Bruins and make it to the second round of the playoffs for the second year in a row.

April, 2024.

As the season drew to a close, Loren couldn't bring herself to watch the Maple Leafs' final games when she turned them on for Gary during her shift at the group home. The team struggled against their remaining opponents and William’s lack-luster performances added even more discourse, leaving everyone seemingly wondering what had gone wrong in the end.

As always in Toronto, playoff season evoked either excitement about the possibility of winning more than two rounds or dread, as if the team were already doomed to failure.

Just before the playoffs began, Toronto media reported that William, citing an undisclosed issue, didn't skate with the team for their final practice held in Boston. His absence sparked speculation and worry among fans and sports analysts alike. The concern was particularly intense given that William did not seem to be playing through an injury and hadn't missed a single regular season game in years.

The timing of William's mysterious absence, coupled with his recent poor performance, fueled rumors about his physical state. Some speculated about a possible injury, while others wondered if the coach, Sheldon Keefe, was so livid about William’s poor performance in game 82 that Keefe was possibly benching him for Game One of the playoffs.

The speculation intensified when William was notably absent from the team's morning skate on the day of the crucial playoff opener. Fans and media alike were left wondering about the true nature of his situation, with theories ranging from a hidden injury to illness. The uncertainty surrounding William's status added an extra layer of tension to an already high-stakes game, leaving everyone questioning how the team would fare without one of its star players.

As the playoff game approached, the uncertainty surrounding William's status cast a shadow over the team's abilities to compete against their rival. The lack of transparency from the Maple Leafs organization only served to intensify the speculation, leaving everyone to wonder about the true nature of William's absence and its potential impact on the team's playoff performance.

As the media cries of “Where’s Willy” saturated every sports channel, Loren tried - and failed - to not get sucked into all of the inflammatory opinions that somehow showed up in some of her social media feeds. She tried to stay off of her phone altogether but with her new self-employment venture hitting the ground running, the use of her cell phone was a necessary evil.

As she scrolled through her notifications, a headline caught her eye: "William Nylander's Mysterious Absence: Injury or Something More?"

It certainly got her rattled.

Despite her best efforts to move on, she couldn't help but worry about William. The thought of him potentially being injured or facing some other issue made her realize that, despite everything, she still cared deeply for him.

She quickly reminded herself “not your sink, not your dishes” and resumed getting Gary ready to take him for a stroll in his wheelchair.

But sometimes, the nagging worry about what was going on with William got the better of Loren. She couldn’t stop her mind from thinking about why he appeared to be MIA at that moment. Even if she wanted to forget about it, she couldn’t because every Toronto media outlet that was in her feed was talking incessantly about it.

Later that evening as she slid into her bed, the “Where the F*ck is William Nylander” headline appeared on a reel for a popular hockey podcast that Loren occasionally listened to. The two ex-hockey players further fueled rumours surrounding William’s absence with saying he may have hurt his back in the “champagne room” of a Miami strip-club while celebrating the end of the season.

Loren’s heart dropped and shattered as she visualized William plowing a beautiful and stacked bombshell in the back room of a Florida strip bar. It was one possibility out of many, and Loren had to accept that.

Maybe it would have been better to have never met William in the first place.

Loren tossed and turned in her bed, unable to shake the intrusive thoughts about William. She knew she shouldn't care, that their relationship was over, but her heart refused to listen to reason. As she stared at the ceiling, she was completely consumed by regret and self-doubt.

The bitch of the situation was she still cared about what was going on with him. It was so out of character for him to miss a game, let alone the all-important Game One of the playoffs, and that fact gnawed at her conscience.

"Fuck's sake…" Loren muttered aloud.

With severe trepidation, she reached for her phone, her fingers hovering over William's contact information.

Loren typed a short message, apologizing for texting him, let alone sending it in the middle of the night. She simply wanted to know if he was going to be okay.

As she hit send, a wave of anxiety washed over her. She placed her phone face down on the nightstand, trying to calm the ache that had settled into her stomach, as she played the whole "will he/won't he" game in her head.

Loren lay there, cheeks blazing, mind racing and becoming more agitated with herself for being so fucking foolish with getting tied up with William. Why the fuck did she still care?

That question plagued her endlessly.

And she came back to the same conclusion. That's just simply who she is and what she does. She cares about people.

Just because William was more or less a memory at this point, she still needed to hear that everything would be okay with him—and hopefully soon.

Eventually, somehow, something in her musings lulled her to sleep.

The next morning, Loren awoke feeling tired and unsettled. She rolled onto her side and stared into the emptiness of her bed and throughout her bedroom. The quietness in her home, which she normally loved, bothered her this morning. She couldn't quite place why she felt so irritated—she had a much-needed day off with no pressing events on her calendar. She was caught up with errands and bill payments. She slept well, once she fell asleep that is. She had nothing in front of her that day to warrant her crusty mood.

Then it all came flooding back in her mind. Thoughts of William possibly blowing out his back after being serviced at a strip club. His poor performance. His absence. The fact that he still had never left her brain since they met, hung out, and broke up—with everything in between those moments still lingering too. She then remembered the text message she sent him.

Oh fuck… the text message….shit…..

Loren coached herself in her head. Okay, Loren. Just be prepared. Please be prepared that he may have blocked you. He may never respond. Please. Do not spiral if there’s no response.

She swiped her phone open. The text message icon appeared, indicating multiple messages received. They all had William's name attached to them, with the first messages being sent not long after she had fallen asleep.

Anxiously, she read each one. She had to read the messages multiple times as her sudden increase in blood pressure made her head ache and her eyes blur.

His messages were sent with a small period of time between each one.

He told her how glad he was that she reached out.

He told her he was okay but he had some “medical issues” going on

Then he told her not to worry.

Loren slowly laid back down resting her head on her pillow and closed her eyes. She laid her phone, screen side down once again next to her on the bed.

Placing her hand over her heart that was galloping, she tried to get a hold of every thought running wild in her head. Images that were a mix of intimate moments spent together and then the low moments that came when he left that fateful morning with his sweet dogs happily in tow.

Her phone buzzed and chimed which made her stomach lurch. It’s not that she thought it was William, or even hoped it was him. It was the fact that she was already overwhelmed with an influx of unsolicited emotions, and it was barely 8am.

Loren hesitated for a moment before picking up her phone again. She knew she should check it, but part of her wanted to stay in this bubble of uncertainty just a little longer. Taking a deep breath, she flipped the phone over and glanced at the screen.

It was another message from William. Her heart raced as she read his words: "Can I call you?"

Loren stared at the screen. More dots bounced as William continued to type. She set her phone back down, and pressed her hands against her face. She really did not like that William could send her reeling like this.

For fuck sakes Loren….this is bullshit. He’s just a fucking hockey player. He’s not a God…stop acting like he is.

Her internal reprimand gave her enough piss and vinegar to remind her that she’s got a fucking backbone.

She slowly typed that he could call, her thumb hovered over the “send’ button for an extended period of time. She hit the button before she could talk herself out of it.

Within seconds, her phone began to ring.

Loren sat up in bed with her legs crossed, straightened her back, took a deep breath and tapped to accept the call from William.

"Hey," William's voice came through, soft and hesitant. There was a brief pause before he continued, "I'm sorry for calling so early. I sorta saw that you read my messages so….yeah. How are you?”

Loren's breath caught in her throat, her initial resolve already beginning to falter.

“Good, William. I’m good. I’m sorry to hear about - …if - that you’re not doing well,” Loren’s words stumbled a little as she spoke. She could feel heat blotching her neck and her cheeks were blazing red.

“Yeah - it’s not great. I can’t really talk about it much right now but I’ll be ok.”

“I’m glad, William. Hoping you’ll be cleared soon…give Pasta a little run for his money.”

William chuckled at Loren referencing his good friend and fellow number 88 for the Bruins, David Pastrňák.

“That’s my plan.”

There was a hesitation at William’s end but despite her desire to avoid awkward pauses, she simply waited for him to speak.

“So, I was wondering if I could ask a big….I mean - a huge favour, really. I know I’m probably the last person you would want to help but I’m really hoping you can.”

“That’s not true. If I can, I’d be happy to help you out.”

The warmth in Loren’s response made William’s heart crack.

“So, the stuff I’m going through sort of prevents me from getting around on my own sometimes. I’m in Boston right now so I’ve got the medical staff nearby but I think I might need help when I get back to Toronto. There’s kind of a lot of stuff going on right now and I need someone close to me that I can trust and keep everything private.”

If they were on a video call, William would have immediately seen Loren's confused expression.

“…..okay….so - what exactly can I do to help…?” Loren asked cautiously. She had no idea where this was going.

“The thing is part of what’s happening involves - what can I call it…”

Loren thought about what he might mean. “Like do you need….personal care?”

“Yeah….exactly. I know that sounds kind of, I don’t know…like something else. The thing is, part of what happens when I have migraines…I tend to….well, like nothing stays down….”

“Vomit…?” Loren clarified.

“Pretty much, yeah. I just need some help getting through the next 4 or 5 days maybe? I know how bad it probably sounds with me asking you this. I mean….I’ve wanted to talk to you anyway but -”

“I get it…” Loren wasn’t sure if she wanted to sound curt or not, but she didn’t want to hear that “he’s been meaning to call.”

Loren rubbed her forehead with her fingers. “Hmmm…let me see what I can do. When do you get back?”

“Tonight. There’s kind of a lot to explain -,” William paused for a moment, unsure how to broach the next subject. “There’s going to be a camera crew around me at some point this week as well. Fucking shitty timing.”

Loren just shook her head. This was all too strange.

Loren chuckled. “Jesus William, I’m not even going to ask…but I swear this shit can only happen to you.”

This is exactly why William often missed Loren. She could poke fun at life a little and ease some of the tension. That’s what he needed right now.

She heard his hallmark giggle softly through the phone before adding “Fuck - tell me about it.”

“Well, okay….I can’t say yes right at the moment. I’ll see if I can juggle some stuff around. I’ll message you back when I know more.”

“Or…you can call. I’d like the company - if you can….things have been really fucking shit lately.”

She rolled her eyes mockingly but then felt bad. “I can imagine,” she said, sounding as sympathetic and supportive as she could.

There was a pause - so Loren decided to wrap the conversation up. “Alright then, I’ll be in touch one way or the other once I know more. Take it easy William - ok?”

“Wait - Loren….look, I’m s - I’m really sorry.” William’s hesitation between his words and his low tone softened Loren a little more.

“William - you’ve not done anything wrong. There’s no need for an apology…. not in my mind anyway.”

“Yeah, but I am sorry for the way things turned out. Bad timing I guess.”

Loren wasn’t sure she believed in bad timing. Despite how she felt for him, she had faith that things happen in life the way they’re supposed to. Bad timing had nothing to do with it.

“Well, then…I’m sorry too William.” Loren paused again and then tried to sound upbeat. “Okay, let me get going on this and I’ll let you know how it goes.”

“Hey - uh, thanks Loren. I really appreciate it….for sure, talk to you soon. Call, okay?”

Loren mumbled a half-assed acknowledgement before ending the call. Hanging her head, and then looking up at the ceiling, all she could mutter was “what the fuck - really?”

She flopped back on the bed. Her head was hurting and her stomach was a mess.

Her phone buzzed and chimed once more. Loren’s irritation was beginning to simmer.

Swear to God - if this is William again….I’m going to fucking scream….

It was William. He sent a picture he took of Loren, Pablo and Banksy on his couch that was taken weeks ago. She remembered that moment when the dogs were vying for her attention but never knew William had witnessed it, let alone taken a photo.

His caption read “I meant to send this to you awhile ago. Really great picture. Hoping you can come visit. The boys would be happy to see you.”

Seeing the still shot of a memory which William kept for whatever reason, helped soften her mood.

Hopping into the shower, she visualized her calendar for the next week, making mental moves in her head like a chess game. She had no idea why she was even doing this other than the simple fact she liked to help people in need, first and foremost.

Within the hour, schedules and plans had been altered, financing for the missed hours from work was accounted for, and she placed the call to William, asking him when he'd like her to come.

"Tonight, if possible?" was William's response. "I haven't been feeling that great today and this stuff might hit me harder when I get home," he added for clarification.

Loren was apprehensive, but she agreed to stay.

Later that day, after William confirmed he was en-route to the airport in Boston, he asked if she could start venturing down to his place.

It seemed that "fuck me" was her mantra that day. Loren repeated her mantra again and again for the entire drive down to Yorkville.

◇◈◆◇◈◇◆◈

William had already secured Loren parking in the visitors section at his building. Pulling into a well-lit spot, she hurriedly grabbed her bags from the trunk. Despite the level of security the underground garage had, she was still a little nervous being in a parking garage at night by herself.

Loren rode the elevator to the main lobby and approached the security desk to advise which tenant she was visiting and the make and model of her vehicle. Having seen her previously, one of officers, by the name of Warren, advised that William had requested that she be escorted and given entry to his place prior to his arrival. There had been a fog delay at Boston’s Logan Airport and William’s arrival was far behind schedule.

Warren smiled warmly at Loren as he handed her the key fob for William's unit and the two chatted amicably during the elevator ride to William’s floor. "Mr. Nylander mentioned you might be staying for a few days. It’ll be nice to see another friendly face around here.”

When it came to William’s day to day goings on, the only other people that would know what he did and who he saw would be the security officers at his building.

Loren chuckled and smiled, but felt a twinge of unease wondering if the guard was secretly implying something. She wondered how much the security staff had witnessed of William's personal life and visitors. As she stepped out of the elevator, she pushed the thought aside, focusing instead on sounds of Pablo and Banksy slight whimpers at the door. Loren asked Warren what time the dogs’ caregiver would have dropped them off, trying to understand if they would be desperate for to go outside. Warren informed her that the dogs had been dropped off about an hour ago, so there shouldn’t be an urgent need. Loren had never taken the pups out by themselves, and she wanted to ask William before she went ahead anyway.

Loren thanked Warren for his help as she unlocked the door to William's condo.

As she stepped into the apartment, Pablo and Banksy greeted her with enthusiastic yips, both standing on their hind legs to accept Loren’s affectionate rubs. Loren knelt down to pet them cooing at their sweet faces and accepting their voracious wet kisses in return. It was so bewildering to be standing in William’s place without him there, and she felt a little out of sorts.

She scouted out where it would be best to sleep, talking softly to Pablo and Banksy as they followed her room to room. It was difficult not to feel something as she carefully padded through William’s space. Loren tried to breath deeply to calm her nerves, but instead, she would catch a scent that belonged to William, and her stomach would flip once more.

Her phone chimed which startled her. William messaged her that he would be home soon. The messages were just a few words that barely made a sentence and it had her wondering what kind shape his was in.

Loren sat in the dimly lit living room with the memories of their first meeting, their first meal, their first glass of wine.

Their first kiss.

That kiss is why there are love songs, poetry, and Hallmark greeting cards.

It was a small part of what made her insides hurt that things ended between them. The other part was simply him. William’s exterior was one thing, but what lived inside his head is what she missed the most. He was a little bit of everything. Quirky. Nerdy for sure. Intelligent in many things but undeniably clueless with others. His curiosity. If he was interested in a topic, the long list of questions he asked were thoughtful and thought-provoking.

She had not experienced being around a man like William before. But now that she had, at the very least, she has a better idea of what she’s truly looking for in the future.

With her body stretched out on the couch, and both dogs lying lengthwise on her, Loren eventually drifted off to sleep.

With the sound of voices approaching from the hallway, the dogs leapt off of Loren’s body and bolted towards the door.

As Loren stood up from the couch, there were two things she was not expecting when the door opened.

The first was Calle Järnkrok leading William inside while carrying his bags, and the second was William's alarming appearance. His typically bright blue eyes were bloodshot and sunken, with dark circles underneath.

Loren greeted the men softly, taking William's bags and placing them by the hallway. The look of concern on her face was very apparent, and Calle quickly explained that the combination of fog delays and the flight itself had triggered a severe migraine in William. With the shuffling from airport, to plane, to car, the pain in his head had reached excruciating levels. Along with feeling terribly nauseous, his vision was blurred and compromised.

Calle thanked Loren for being there and taking over. He quickly mentioned instructions in William’s bag for his home care requirements as he headed for the door. It hurt for William to speak but he managed to thank Calle, his voice low, gravelly and almost slurred.

Once Calle had left, Loren suggested she help him into bed. William didn’t object, but he before he moved, he grabbed Loren’s hand and pulled her into him.

The same despondency he showed on her doorstep weeks before could be felt in his embrace. Loren gently wrapped her arms around his broad frame, whispering that he should get into bed. As she began to reposition herself by his side, his grip around her waist was firm, and stopped her from moving as he pulled her even closer to him.

She felt his warm breath against her cheek as she stood motionless, unsure and caught off guard with the way he held her. He began to thank her, but instead he grit his teeth as a wave of throbbing pain traveled through one side of his head.

Loren gently coaxed him to walk slowly to his bedroom, her voice sounded both melodic and soothing as she guided him down the hallway.

Passing the guest bedroom, William saw Loren’s bags just inside the door.

Loren followed William’s gaze. Although nothing verbal was said, she sensed his dismay.

Entering his room and stopping at the foot of the bed, Loren stood in front of William, groaning inside her mind knowing that she might need to help him undress.

She instructed him to sit on the bench at the end of his bed, helping him lower himself down. She knelt down in front of him and began untying his shoes, removing them silently as William watched every move she made.

She looked up at him and smirked. “Don’t get any ideas…I’m just down here to take off your shoes.”

William only smiled. It hurt to laugh.

“It the pain still really bad? Can you see anything?”

“Vision’s coming back. Fucking head though…and my stomach.”

Loren gave him a sympathetic nod, saying she’d get him into bed in a second.

With minimal movements, she removed his hoodie and t-shirt underneath. His scent made her hungry to kiss every bit of bare skin that she just exposed.

Removing his sweatpants was worse. Way worse. She scolded herself mentally when she kept glancing towards his concealed dick. She hated the fact she still craved it as badly as she did. It was literally making her salivate.

She gently helped William into bed, leaning over him to adjust pillows supporting his head and neck. Once he was settled, she pulled the covers over him.

The light from the hallway provided just enough illumination to see William's face as he closed his eyes. Loren told him she would turn off all the lights once she got the cold gel compress she brought and a lined bucket to set next to his bed in case he needed it.

As she turned to exit the room, William's hand lightly clasped onto two of Loren's fingers. "I don't know many girls who would look after me like this. Thank you so much." His voice sounded dry and croaky, and Loren made a mental note to get him some fluids.

She looked at William for a moment before a faint smile spanned her face. "Well, then I guess you're Snapping the wrong girls… I bet I could find a thousand and one ladies in 30 minutes or less who would shank their own mother to be in my position right now. Could have them here faster than a Domino's pizza."

William smiled, but his eyebrows furrowed. "I'm trying to say thank you, y'know…"

"You're not supposed to be talking at all." Loren stroked his hand with her thumb, acknowledging in her own way that she appreciated him saying it, but it wasn't necessary. "I'll be back in a sec."

She pet the pooches that had already nestled between William's legs on top of the comforter and glided out of the room. William opened one eye enough just to glance at her backside as she left the room.

She quickly dissolved the electrolyte package that had been sent home in William's home care package from the medical staff on the team. She retrieved the gel compress mask from the refrigerator and a few other items. But as she entered the room, William was leaning over the edge of the bed, groaning that he was going to be sick. Loren quickly set everything aside and went to William's side just for some support. She leaned over next to him and quietly asked him if she should stay by his side. He nodded his head.

After his dry heaves had subsided, she helped him lay down, and sat next to him on the edge of the bed as he drifted off to sleep. Once she heard his breathing slow into a specific rhythm, she moved quietly about the room, disposing of the contents of the bucket and replacing the bag, setting the strong electrolyte mix next to him with a straw, and plugging in his phone.

It was around 4 a.m. when she had cleaned and tidied everything up and decided to head to bed. She turned off all the lights, closed the blinds, and ensured William's room was now completely shrouded in darkness. As she closed his door, he quietly called her name.

She stepped lightly to his bedside, and he asked if she would sleep there with him.

Loren was exhausted and knew he had the most comfortable bed imaginable. She quietly agreed, citing "just in case he's sick again" in her head as an additional excuse to stay.

She quickly got ready for bed. She wondered if she could get away with just sleeping on top of the comforter, but the condo was far too cold for her light pajama set.

She crawled in next to William, asked him if he was okay, and as he nodded, she wished him a good sleep.

He thanked her once again for everything she'd done. He thought to himself how amazing she had been to him so far, and he felt like he didn't deserve her kindness and care.

He moved his hand close to her bent leg under the covers. Just having her there next to him was good enough for tonight.

—

The following morning, Loren awoke to a dog barking. The sound came from nearby, not from the dogs that she felt were still nestled between William and her.

She looked around slowly, getting her bearings. She saw William’s bedroom door slightly open which let some light in from the main living space.

She didn’t want to shift and wake William up, who’s body seemed to a little closer to her than she remembered when she fell asleep.

Turns out, she needn’t worry.

A low "good morning" purred behind her. Before she could stifle it, a soft giggle escaped her lips as a smile spread across her face.

She turned her head slightly, catching a glimpse of William's face. His eyes still looked heavy and tired, and his five o’clock shadow had added 6, 7, and 8 o’clock to it too. A soft grin teased his lips as he looked at Loren while laying on his side.

This was not faring well for Loren as part of the getting over William Nylander program that she was on.

She shifted onto her side, pulling up the blankets to cover her boobs that appeared much more voluptuous in this position bunched in her tank top.

God, he is so fucking beautiful Loren thought.

Fuuuuck me….look at her William thought.

Loren peeled her gaze off of William and onto the dogs - Banksy had flipped onto his back while Pablo looked unimpressed and pouted at the end of the bed.

She motioned for Pablo to come up towards her, which he did. Licking her face, she quietly told him how smart of a boy he was.

Hers eyes met William’s again, behind his glasses this time, and she asked him how he was feeling.

“Much, much better. My eye sight seems to be pretty normal…. have a little headache but nothing like last night.”

“Good, I’m so glad - I can’t imagine that pain.”

"Fuck—yeah, the headache was really starting to build in the plane, so I just leaned my seat back and closed my eyes. When we were landing, that's when it hit badly—I couldn't see out of my one eye."

He then backtracked to the point where his recent headaches had begun.

"Pretty much right after I left your place, I could feel one side of my head starting to ache," William confessed.

Loren looked perplexed. "It started right after you left?"

William looked at Pablo and began scratching him under his collar. Pablo's hind leg began to thump as he scratched himself in sync with William's fingers.

"I was thinking about it all the way home. It wasn't your fault that my scoring fell off a cliff. I'm pretty sure I made you feel like you were the problem. Y'know… with the whole distraction thing."

Loren's eyes remained cast downward as she lightly stroked the tufts of fur on Pablo's back. "I don't really remember anything, other than feeling — I know it sounds juvenile maybe but — feeling just really sad. I think you're a pretty good guy… I knew I was going to miss hanging out with you." Loren's cheeks flushed with her admission.

"Wait — just pretty good? Not a great or awesome guy… I only get a pretty good?" William teased.

"Never got the chance to fully find out before you ditched me," Loren deadpanned, followed with a little snicker.

William hung his head in defeat. "Ok — yeah… take it easy… I'm not well…," he smiled.

Loren mockingly whispered at Pablo as he craned his head around to sniff her face. "You hear that Pablo — your Dad can dish it out but he can't take it…"

Pablo wagged his tail at Loren as she scratched under his ears, telling him how great and awesome he was.

She heard William giggle and scoff at her.

William grabbed his phone from the nightstand, unplugging it as he adjusted his body in bed. "I'm guessing you plugged in my phone — thanks for doing that. I actually don't know if I remember much, other than you being here when Calle walked me up."

"You were in pretty rough shape… it was not at all prepared to see you like that actually."

William scrolled through the gazillion messages, finally selecting one to read through. He turned to Loren, adjusting his glasses as he glanced back at his phone. "So seriously, how long do I have you for? Think you can drive me to the arena today? They want to do another check-up."

Loren smiled and turned onto her back, stretching her arms over her head while yawning. "That's what I'm here for… you definitely shouldn't be driving." She looked at William, eyes bright and wide. "You wanna take my car?" she asked, and then giggled. Her car was essentially a shit box and not nearly as nice as William's—for some reason, she was geared to egg him on a little today.

William shook his head and chuckled. "We'll take my car—your car....well, it does enough travelling." He thought for another moment. "You never answered my question… how long do I have you for? And don't change the subject…" he said light-heartedly.

"You said four or five days, so I took five. But I don't think you'll need me for that long… you already seem a million times better."

"Don't get upset at me for asking but… you ok with not getting paid for that long? We can figure out something to get you reimbursed—you just need to tell me."

"I'm okay. It'll be okay."

"Loren—seriously—please…"

"I promise… I got a little side business going....there's been a little extra money coming in lately. So, I'm good… but thank you. Truly… I appreciate the offer."

"What is it—the side business?"

Loren looked away sheepishly. "OnlyFans," she replied quietly.

William's head nearly swiveled off of his shoulders and his mouth dropped open.

Loren's face turned red. "What—you told me once that I should try it—that I would do well on there…"

"Fuck—I—really—I didn't… are you serious?"

Loren looked down at Pablo and then back toward William, before she grinned at his shocked expression. "No, I'm not serious. My side gig is tutoring French—conversational and otherwise."

William looked up at the ceiling. "Fuck… shocked the shit outta me. Ow—fuck…" William winced, squinting his eye and pressing his palm over top of it. "Thanks for the jolt, my headache is back."

Loren sat up. "Oh fuck… oh no—shit—really? I am really—I'm so sorry!" she said panicking. "You see why I never joke around much? My timing sucks…"

William laughed. "Ha—gotcha…"

◇◈◆◇◈◇◆◈

If there was a word that would describe the 2024 Leafs versus Boston series, it would be "dramatic."

Add in pre- and post-game media scrums, plus a camera crew following William at certain points during his illness, there was rarely a moment in his life that wasn't complicated.

What was unsurprising, but perhaps unexpected is how Loren naturally provided a buffer between William and his professional life. There was a sanctity with her presence in his home. She brought warmth, comfort, and offered unwavering and nonjudgmental support when he allowed himself to unload some of the thoughts that clogged his mind.

William discovered the friendship side of his relationship with Loren. She slept in his bed the first night, but stayed in the guest bedroom for the nights that followed. It's not what William had wanted, and if Loren was being honest, she still deeply desired William too. But, for that moment, she did what she felt was best for both of them and kept their reunion platonic.

However, after Game 4, where it seemed all but over for the Leafs — the game where William was caught on camera clapping back at his teammates — William arrived home in an abysmal mood.

Although he was quiet, Loren sensed he was like a pressure cooker ready to pop. The vein in his neck, the one she had once kissed while William gripped onto her from a powerful orgasm, jutted out under his skin. Loren treaded lightly, and gave him time to process how the game unfolded now that he was home.

It was when he grabbed his phone and saw how many notifications there were, on top of the millions he already had, that totally set him off. He whipped his phone at the adjacent plush chair, yelled expletives, shoved some furniture around and paced around the living room, letting every single thought he had — unfair or not — out into the universe.

Banksy curled onto Loren's lap but Pablo stood on the arm of the couch and watched William devotedly. Each time William passed Pablo, he would rub him or kiss his head, but he continued to unleash whatever he had pent up. There was a lot. Far more than Loren ever suspected.

She listened intently. If he asked her for her thoughts, she somehow balanced being supportive while remaining neutral.

One of many benefits of having an open concept kitchen and living room space is that one can still listen to a person vent and make them something to eat while not missing a beat. Which is exactly what Loren did as William let out all of his frustrated thoughts, then finally sat down at his kitchen island as he wound down.

With the sourdough bread that Loren bought the day before, she stood in William's kitchen making him a light meal of Croque Monsieur.

The day before, William and Loren had taken the dogs on a long walk to a bakery Loren was eager to visit. Though she'd offered to go alone, William insisted on joining her. The beautiful spring day began cool and crisp but quickly warmed as it progressed.

During Loren's stay, William had noticed a change in her demeanor. While still kind and caring, the wide-eyed excitement she'd once shown when they first met had dimmed. She now seemed guarded, as if holding back her emotions.

However, as they entered the bakery together, William watched Loren come alive. Her eyes lit up at the sights and smells surrounding them. She looked absolutely radiant—this was the Loren he remembered.

William watched her finish up at the stove, and she plated the French style sandwich and handed it to him. William's eyes widened at the sight of it -- the bread was toasted perfectly golden and the rich cheese slightly oozed onto the plate.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck…" William groaned.

Loren's back was turned as she washed the dishes. Hearing his groan, her first thought was that he saw something upsetting on his cellphone. She turned around with a concerned look, just to see William taking another massive bite of food.

His mouth was still partially full as he rolled his eyes at Loren. "This is so fucking good… like — fuck… oh my god."

William eyed the pan that she was just about to clean. "Wait — could you pretty please make me another one? Pretty please? I'll do whatever you want me to…" William said wryly, but there was a suggestive flavor to it too.

Loren blushed as her thoughts turned sinful.

Fucking guy, she laughed to herself, shaking her head.

After making another, in no time, he was already halfway through the second Croque Monsieur. Loren suddenly felt a grumble of hunger in her stomach. "Think I could have just the tiniest bite — if you can spare it…" she said with a little wink.

William had this look. It was a combination of pretty boy, frat boy, fuck boy, cocky boy and sweetheart rolled into one, and it made Loren weak.

He lifted the piece of bread up and motioned for her to go ahead and take a bite. It had unnerved her a little, with his eyebrow cocked and raised, but she was hungry now. There was a small window of opportunity to look as sexy as she could while sinking her teeth into the sandwich. If not sexy looking, she would at least try for not awkward.

She gently wrapped her hand around his which held the base up, and took a slow bite.

Goddammit — that is fucking good, she thought.

She swiped some crumbs from the side of her mouth while William watched how pretty she looked with her cheeks flushed.

"Wait — there's a bit of mustard still left."

She wasn't sure if there really was or not — she was too busy kissing William back. He had pulled her into him and mumbled something about "being so amazing", and began kissing her urgently.

They remained in a lip lock the entire way to William's bedroom.

There in the low light from his bedside lamp, they undressed each other, their hands worked in sync as pants were unfastened and clasps were undone. Their hands smoothed over each other's skin which filled them each with profound desire and admiration.

They both knew what they yearned for from each other, and neither was willing to try and fight it.

Still, Loren worried about William overexerting himself. She had experienced William's voracious sexual appetite before — it was a marvel to experience his level of cardio and stamina. Given he had just made his first appearance in the playoffs after his blinding migraines, she was not going to be the reason he missed out on the rest of the series.

He pulled her in tightly, her hands raked through his hair as he kissed and nipped her neck.

"I think it might be too much if you…" — Loren's voice trailed off into a moan as William's mouth made contact with her nipple — "…I think you should lie on your back… fuck William…" she groaned.

He was almost lifting her off the ground with the way he held and kissed her.

Loren smoothed his hair as he latched onto her nipple again. "William… please… your head… don't overdo anything… let me — here… lie on your back." He kissed back up her neck, stopping to look at her face.

The way she cared for him was extraordinary.

After he lied down for her, the way she worked his cock in her mouth was indescribable.

But the way she rode him until the muscles in his thighs quivered was otherworldly.

Once again, in the still bliss afterward, William's world felt calm as he lay with Loren sleeping next to him.

The next morning, William opened his eyes and saw the silhouette of Loren's side profile. Her eyelashes, her nose that turned up at the end. Fuck, that mouth of hers.

He could tell that she was awake as she lazily glided her hands through Pablo's fur.

"What are you thinking about?" William's low, morning croak made her smile while her gaze remained fixed on the ceiling.

"Just thinking about your next game. Maybe you should pull a Marchand and go up and lick Pasta on his face. Get him off his game."

William laughed, moving closer to kiss Loren's shoulder. He motioned for her to turn into his chest, knowing how much she loved it there. "Nah, Pasta might like it and try and kiss me back. I think I've been in the news enough lately anyway — don't need anything else for them to write about."

Loren kissed and nuzzled his chest. "I guess. It'd be something to see though."

It was quiet in the room, save for the drone of traffic from the streets below.

"I got a text from my manager at the home. The person covering for me dislocated his shoulder. They could really use me, and it seems like you're on the right track."

William knew at one point she would need to go back to her own life. It was a hard pill to swallow though, after all she had done for him. "Oh wow. Yeah, ok… I understand. Although… I'm feeling a little light-headed, dizzy… and my back's sore — and I've got a toe cramp…" William chuckled.

Loren smiled against his skin. "Oh — okay…well, in that case…" she purred, gliding her hand up his bare back, "you better tell Paul and the med staff when you go in for practice this morning." She giggled knowing that wasn't the response he was aiming for.

"Ooof — okay… was I that big of a pain in the ass?"

Loren reached up to kiss him along his jawline. "The biggest," she responded, her voice just above a whisper.

—

Loren had agreed to drive William to practice before she headed north to go home. The drive to the rink was understandably quiet as William thought about the aftereffects from the dumpster fire of Game 4 the night before. Added to that was the uncertainty of what the future held for the two of them.

As they inched along in traffic nearing the rink, William started to fidget a little, rubbing and scratching his beard as he often did while talking to reporters. Loren noticed it, but remained quiet. She was lost in her own thoughts anyway.

"Are you nervous?" Loren finally asked.

William's eyes seemed like a pale blue that morning as he looked toward Loren. They were still gorgeous she thought, but they were a little sullen. Tired.

"A little. Just don't know what the mood is going to be like in there. Cameras are going to be on me and Mitchy, I think." William leaned his head back on the headrest. "So, what happens next — you know… with this?"

Loren smiled and shook her head. "I wish I knew." William couldn't help but laugh at her expression — her bright smile, biting her lip and with a look of "fucked if I know."

Loren pulled into the entrance of the rink and into a parking spot. Looking to William, she continued her thought. "I guess for you, either you'll be going on to the next round, or you'll be packing up to go home for the offseason. Either way, I am excited for you, and I'm so glad you asked me to come help you."

William looked down and smiled. "You know I'm bad with words, but this time we just spent was really… amazing. The fact you even said that you'd help me after… after I… after things ended the way they did."

"William — stop saying it like you did something wrong a few weeks back. You did nothing wrong. You were faced with a decision and you made one."

"Yeah but it really fucking sucked. For both of us."

"Well, you still get to be you so… I guess it sucked more for me, but whatever… I won't argue," Loren laughed, nudging William.

William smiled and started to unbuckle his seatbelt. “Alright, I'll message you later," he said as he opened the car door and slid out of the seat. He came around to Loren's side, leaned through the open window and kissed her tenderly. He leaned his forehead against hers, and sighed. "Better go. Talk soon."

Loren grinned and nodded, giving him a wink and wished him luck.

As she drove away, she felt an unexpected feeling of peace. It was almost like closure somehow. She had no illusions about William. She had another quick glimpse into his world, and she was not sure - given the chance - if being a WAG is something she would want to entertain. But she truly was grateful to be there for William when he needed someone, and that he trusted her with his very private life.

All Loren knew is that she would return home, resume her life and let the chips fall where they may.

[aryxchse]

hiii would you do percy x daughter of zeus hcs? but reader is more like hera’s daughter?? i hope that explains itself like reader has attributes a daughter of hera would have

daughter of the heavens / percy jackson x daughter of zeus! champion of hera! reader.

a / n : ah, my favorite trope. hera adopting zeus' children and being a better parent for them🤭 i know being both child of zeus and champ of hera is hoTTT

warnings : omg i didnt cursed ig??

- he's scared

- you're the children of most feared two gods

- you have your fathers powers and hera's rage

- you weren't the best go to option in becoming friends for the campers

- that's why percy thought he was doomed when he saw you two spared for the sword practice

- but it didn't go the way he planned

- you did fight good and kicked his ass, don't get me wrong

- but you were so kind afterwards

- "you okay? did i accidently zapped you or something?"

- my man was shocked

- "n-no thanks, im okay."

- "your stands are too open by the way."

- normally he would be annoyed

- and overthink

- but right now he wanted to be close to you

- and give a little show to the camp, about two children of the big three is practicing together

- "can you fix me?"

- percy 'smooth' jackson everyone

- and, the sweet and kind you, obviously showed him how to stand good

- you were very outgoing and friendly, so it was easy for you two become close

- thanks to the fates or aphrodite, next day was his turn in the cabin check

- and luckily for him, you were assigned together

- "hey jackson."

- "wassup l/n."

- you both were eachother in different fonts fr

- and people thought you guys would fight already at some point

- but it never happened

- the more percy got close to you, the more he realised you were more like hera

- even though you're just her champion

- you hated zeus and didn't wanted to be his stereotypical child

- and percy definetly sees that

- you had your dads good (suprisingly he has a few) traits thats all

- like how you were a natural leader, and you can get competitive when you need to

- and think fast during attack

- but the other was just hera

- you were so motherly, even to percy

- "the weather will be cold, i can feel it. put a sweater on."

- jason doesn't know how you both become besties this easy but he wasn't complaining

- yeah he joked around and said don't date but like he shipped you guys from the start

- he'd love to have percy as brother in law fr

- percy eventually developed a crush on you because of how your characters matched

- you both loved pegasus riding for example

- and surfing

- you would blow a cold wind towards him when the weather is too hot

- and he'd make the water more warmer if it's too cold for you

- little things like that made you develope (is this how you spell?) a crush too

- after coming back from tartarus, percy didn't liked making things wait and he immediatly started to work on a confession plan

- he wanted to impress you, because you were the daughter of the king of the gods

- also his wife's champion

- you were olympus' princess fr

- no matter how much he tried, he didn't get the chance

- he made blackjack shape the clouds as hearts, but whenever he tried to say something someone appeared

- or you had to go because someone called you

- he tried like this for two weeks

- and then he started to get anxious and tired of it

- so when you both sat on the zeus cabin's roof, percy confessed

- "the stars are reall-"

- "im in love with you"

- your shock appeared in the sky and you accidently struck a lightning

- "wHAT-"

- my boy decided to never suprise you that night

- but you both started dating obvi

- POWER

- COUPLE.

- zeus is a hater but who cares

- hera is too but she is happy as long as you're happy

- and besides, percy's fatal flaw is loyalty so what could possibly go wrong?

- you two always pick eachother during quests

- and you guys fight in harmony

- you're in the wind i'm in the water fr

- katara and aang is that u???

- percy often tries to impress you

- because you're so unintentionally cool

- but you always wave him off by saying 'you can trip and fall but i'd still find you hot'

- and he blushes like a little girl

- your emotions are always mirrors the weather in camp

- so he tries his best to make you happy

- because once you made a rainbow when he gifted you a hand made paper flower

- idk how dont ask

- you often zap percy to remind him that you love him

- like it's your way of saying i love you

- and he splashes you in return

- you both have so much fun together

- long story short

- u guys are the coolest fr