#both because I think it would be cool and because Cas my mutual Cas thinks it would be cool

[greaterstolenlandspolycule]

Paizo I am begging you PLEASE don’t kill Iomedae or Sarenrae…

[hanbindans]

zb1 as boyfriends!!

word count: 2.8k (only ca 350 for each) a/n: requested!! I wrote them in bulletpoint form in an attempt to keep a structure, but I do apologize if it's in-cohesive because my brain is still in finals mode (cries). I also apologize if you think my use of emojis is too much but it just makes sense. Hanbin stans who hate coffee just pretend you don't for this 1 post <33 thanks

jiwoong

You guys. Jiwoong is THE boyfriend. He knows all the in's and out's of boyfriending™ at this point. Will not disappoint.

He might fall in love a liiittle before you, but honestly it would be pretty mutual from the beginning. I think he would have to meet someone with the mindset that it would lead to a relationship (probably doesn't go from being friends to dating) so if he meets you and likes you he would make it known :)

Pretends to like dates in the beginning; going out to have nice dinners, going on late night walks in the city, visiting animal cafés, anything that gives you a chance to talk a lot and really get to know each other.

When he knows he's got you he will prefer at-home dates though because going out is a little too much effort and he'd rather just chill on his couch <333 If you still want to go out for dates though he would of course compromise!!!

Speaking of which- he's so good at communicating and making sure you're both happy, in the relationship and otherwise. Kind of loves when you come to him for advice or admit when you're struggling with something because he sees that as a big sign of trust.

"hey I bet you can't get me a bag of chips from the convenience store in 15 minutes" and you speed to the convenience store because you're a fool in love <3

I don't think he is super lovey dovey- he's more about the casual displays of affection. A "hey, you look really nice today" when he can tell you made an extra effort. A packed lunch waiting for you in the fridge when he knows you're going to have a busy day. Of course he lets you know he loves you, just not every second of every day.

In general he is a very chill, low maintenance boyfriend who is secure in your relationship. Is mature enough to communicate and compromise with you whenever you disagree on something (which is very sexy of him 🤌 we love).

zhang hao

Oh you're totally the one who falls in love first. He has insane rizz- like you're going to be crushing on him for a good few months before he develops feelings back.

Once he does though he's allllll yours. Looks at you with full on heart eyes and giggles at everything you say but is cool about it if that makes sense?? Like he acts unaffected and tries to be the cool and sophisticated boyfriend but it's painfully obvious he's totally head-over-heels in love.

He is 1. a busy man, and 2. an introvert, so his favourite type of dates are in calm and not-so busy places where you can just wind down and spend time together, like small cafés or going for long strolls in nature and just talking. He would also love to just stay at home as you both do your own things, just vibing in peace and being productive.

Will nag at you for every little thing but it's out of love. It's always "babe a granola bar isn't a meal 😒" and "I can't believe you never remember to apply sunscreen!!" but it's not to be annoying he just cares about you (and most of the time he's right).

Brings you cut fruits to snack on when you're busy doing something <3

One thing about Zhang Hao is that he IS a great boyfriend, but he will remind you himself through small comments. "Am I not the best boyfriend... Where else could you find a boyfriend like me... You're so lucky to have the handsomest boyfriend...." He loves you so much and he doesn't want you to find another boyfriend so he is pitching himself so you don't go away <3

The most caring boyfriend who will look after you and make you feel so so loved. Life is exhausting sometimes but this relationship is the perfect safe space for the both of you to relax and be unapologetically yourselves.

hanbin

I don't know if this is an unpopular opinion but I think he would fall in love first!! He's a soft boi at heart, when he meets someone he likes he falls hard and FAST. Luckily for him you fall back though because duh he's Sung Hanbin.

COOKING AND BAKING DATES OF COURSE!!!!!! He will seduce you by cooking your favourite homemade dishes and making you the best cup of coffee you've ever had. Also learns how to make bread so he can lure you into being his partner forever and ever 😈

If you were up for it, I think he would love to take you out dancing. He will teach you if you want and are worried about embarrassing yourself, he just wants you to go out and have fun together!! Probably knows all the good spots and will take you out on the occasional Friday night 🕺🕺

We know this man stays busy, so he might not have that much free time to spend with you... That being said you have his undivided attention whenever he does see you. You have something to say?? All other conversations are unimportant. You're going into another room?? He won't follow you around but he IS counting the seconds until you come back.

If you compliment him on pretty much anything he is an emotional wreck the rest of the day. Wuws his praise, especially from you <3333

Kind of his favourite thing to do is to sit down with you after a long week, have some snacks and some nice drinks ready, and you just rant to each other about work/school/people or whatever. Sometimes you just need to complain to someone you confide in, ya know?? And he needs to know who your enemies are because they are his enemies too.

He just likes you a LOT and wants to involve you in all his favourite things. Hanbin loves life and having fun- and he wants you to have fun too!! You are his most beloved person ever and he shows that by making you a part of his life in all the ways he can.

matthew

There's not a single alternate universe where a relationship with Matthew wouldn't start as friends to lovers. I'm sorry it just works too well with him. You start falling for each other at around the same time, but he's probably the first one to confess. You're both just two fools extremely in love <3

Absolute date master but it's completely unintentional?? Idk, I think he would plan really cute date like picnics in the park or at-home movie nights with dinner. He just has a knack for dates that make you feel like the main character in a movie.

He has one (1) mission and it is to devastate you all the time. Prepare to receive cute texts for no reason, matching jewellery, and for him to ask to take couple pics that he can use as his phone background 🥲

Will teach you his choreographies. Even if it's only two easy steps. Doesn't matter if you are a dancer or not. His baby will be able to dance to his songs!!!

You know how he wants to be the hot Canadian oppa or whatever? Your partner privilege is that you're the only one allowed to tell him he's cute. Like he loves when you giggle and ruffle his hair and kiss his cheeks but that's only because he loves you. If Gyubin tried that shit on Matthew he would be on the floor in a chokehold. Use this privilege wisely.

When it's just the two of you he literally can't keep his hands off of you. Wraps his arms around you so you have no choice but to lie down on the couch and let him hold you and press kisses all over your face. He just likes his cuddles.

Overall a very loving boyfriend who lives to let you know how special you are. You deserve to be treated like a k-drama main character- so he ends up doing all the cliché, cute and romantic things for you that he never imagined himself enjoying before- but now has a special person to do them with <3

taerae

You both start liking each other around the same time. He's a pretty social guy and just very easy to like, so I feel like you would become close pretty fast, and he would confess that he likes you pretty quickly too.

As great as he is to spend time with and talk to- he sucks at the whole dating thing. He does really like you and wants to spend time with you almost always, he just doesn't like the logistics of arranging a date. What do you mean they don't show that movie next Friday?? What do you mean we have to decide where to have dinner?? Please just tell him where you want to go and he will happily go there with you. He just doesn't want to do the whole planning bit.

Sitting together in his bedroom as he strums on his guitar and you do something else.

Very cheesy boyfriend but it's so cute <3 Tooth-rottingly sweet texts and compliments for absolutely no reason, thoughtful birthday gifts, randomly getting you flowers, the works.

He could be the mature, calm, chill boyfriend..... but why would he want to?? Much more fun being your kind of insane boyfriend who acts like the calm and chill boyfriend in front of other people. Like sometimes he has Einstein level thoughts. Sometimes he lies to you that there is a dog behind you just for shits and giggles.

I think he has a pretty high EQ and he would give great comfort and advice if you needed it. Always there for you if you need to rant about your day and that annoying person you don't like, or if you have a problem that he has to help you solve. Empathises really well and never judges you for your honest thoughts.

Taerae really is just a great guy to begin with, but when he's in a relationship with you he is the nicest, most fun and supportive boyfriend . Always willing to go the extra mile for you and make you feel like the most loved person in the world :)

ricky

Hmmm.... I mean there's a much bigger chance that you fall in love first than the other way around. That being said: he's absolutely whipped when he does start liking you back. Like. Gyubin would make fun of him because he literally can't focus on anything else when you're around. So in the end you're both fools in love <3

Oh the dates are going to be top tier. Your wish is his command and the budget is LARGE, so pretty much wherever you want to go or whatever you want to do, he will make it happen. But I think he has a soft spot for museums, art galleries, basically anything "cultural". Or just walking around the city at night and seeing what's open.

Wants to engage in your hobbies!! He will ask a million questions about your interests (sports, music, cinema, drawing, whatever you're passionate about) so he can see you nerd out and maybe understand you a little better. He will also be SO SO SO happy if you're willing to engage in his interests and watch his favourite shows with him because THAT is true love <33

Tbh he's not always great at clearly expressing or asking for affection- but the one thing he would actually ask for is head massages. After a long day, he just can't resist the temptation of spacing out while you run your hands through his hair. He is still too embarrassed to ask for it with his words though, so he just gets all quiet and leans his head onto you and hopes you get the hint (you do).

He also wants to share everything. Mostly shirts, hoodies, jackets- sometimes jewellery. Be careful because while this does mean you can borrow his stuff, he will also borrow yours. Hide your shit if there's something you want to keep to yourself.

He is trying to be the cool, sophisticated boyfriend- but he's just a big softie at the end of the day!! He secretly loves all the cute coupley things like fancy dates and matching necklaces, and he loves to surprise you and watch your eyes go all wide in awe. Really just wants to walk around and be in love all day <3

gyubin

Friends to lovers where you meet through mutual friends and are in the same friend group for a while, silently crushing on each other until one of your other friends gets sick of the tension and tells both of you that you like each other.

Dates are very spontaneous but always fun!! If he has to run errands or go somewhere he will force you to come with him to keep him company. In return he says something to make you laugh approx. every 4 minutes to keep you entertained.

Oh when I say that he is attached to you at the hip... He can't go a full day without talking to you- either by text, on the phone, or face to face. Even when he is with you he HAS to be touching you pretty much all the time- holding your hand and playing with your fingers. If you ask him to tone it down in public he will... Begrudgingly..... Actually physically holding himself back from grabbing your hand.

His one mission every day is to make you laugh at least once. Has a folder of memes saved on his phone that he updates regularly so he can send you something every day.

Prepare to share all your drinks and food for the rest of your life. You got a smoothie?? He's taking the first sip "tO mAkE sUrE iT's nOt pOiSonEd" (you get to try his smoothie too don't worry).

Other than the fact that he needs to be next to you all the time?? He's pretty low maintenance!! Is perfectly fine with spending a whole weekend rotting away in his bedroom, cuddling up to you and scrolling through tiktok as you show each other funny videos that pop up on your fyp's.

In general I see him as being a very fun and loving boyfriend. You are kind of just besties who kiss, ya know? He genuinely likes spending time with you doing whatever- you're the funniest, kindest, best person he knows- and he lets you know by sending "ily" texts at least twice a day and holding your hand everywhere you go <3

gunwook

Oh he has the world's biggest crush on you for a while before you ask him out (yes you need to ask first he's too scared <3). I'm talking "doodling your name in his notebook with hearts next to it" levels of crush. Loses his mind when you ask him out like YOU LIKE HIM BACK???? Crazy.

A very sweet and polite young man to begin with (lucky you!!), but it's going to be 10x more intense with the person he likes. Prepare yourself to be treated like you saved the world 3 times, ended world poverty, hung the stars in the sky, etc.

He's still pretty young and gets too attached too fast so initially he's very scared to mess things up. Googles 'date ideas' to come up with stuff to do and watches K-dramas to learn how to boyfriend (he has NO idea what he's doing. send help. but it's very cute). With time he becomes more chill though.

Think classic dates in the beginning; watching a movie at the cinema, going to a café, stuff like that. When he gets more comfortable it's more like chilling in his bedroom as you binge watch a netflix show or cuddle and scroll through social media in comfortable silence.

A little dramatic sometimes: he gets super excited over all your small achievements and exaggerates when he tells you how TERRIBLE and AWFUL his day was. Also needs reassurance every once in a while that you really do like him back because he gets in his own head too much. Kind of a drama queen but in the best way.

Wayyy too shy to initiate pretty much ANY type of physical affection so he hopes you will just initiate instead and hold his hand. Ya boy is trying to play it cool but is also a little ~insecure~ so he is in a constant dilemma between holding your hand versus not holding your hand. WHAT IF HE DOESN'T HOLD YOUR HAND AND THEN YOU BREAK UP WITH HIM????? He is distressed 24/7.

Overall- very sweet and shy and confused but he WILL try his best to be the bf you deserve!! He's still working on exactly how to do that but rest assured: he does love you to bits and wants more than anything to make you smile every day 🥲 Best boy.

[gcldfanged]

Meet the Writer

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴇ(ꜱ) ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ?

(CANON MUSES) -

Genesis: I actually HATED Genesis initially in the og CC game. I thought he was a lame addition and just like… idk, they wanted Gackt in the game so they made his presence plot relevant? OOOUGH, I was so mad… But then I saw how the rpc and fandom treats him, which is honestly even WORSE SOMEHOW??? So I decided to try writing him seriously and what do you know, I actually kinda like it.

Verdot: I literally have to make the content I wanna see in this rpc, such is my burden. my curse...

(OCs) - I wanted to write about the themes I have on my pinned and honestly, there were so many Tseng rpers who I am friends and mutuals with that knock it out of the fucking ballpark- I just didn't feel like I'd have ANYTHING new or good to contribute to the exploration of his character? So I made an OC :P And he's really changed so much! I remember when I was still making my own art for him and he wasn't QUITE like there the way I wanted him to be, but I didn't have anything better to employ as a faceclaim or reference to draw from. And then Cas was like "btw here's a manga about your HYPERFIXATION" and Kokonoi's general appearance and vibe was a great starting point to go off of instead.

Anyway, There's always things I had planned for Jae in the works or on the backburner, but he has really evolved over the span of years I've been writing him, so I really appreciate every person who took the time to check him out and build something with him.

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ?

You know, I have been becoming more lenient with allowing myself to write certain things. I always end up being afraid of how people will react to certain themes I explore because... let's be real, a lot of people are pretty intolerant to opinions that are different than theirs. So long as whatever I and/or my partner explore is handled with the care and respect it deserves, I don't really see an issue with much anymore. Hell, I was terrified to post that one drabble fleshing out Jae meeting Veld for the first time because I was afraid people would see Jae's reaction to killing someone as somehow 'excusing abuse' because he wasn't dancing on the guy's corpse and actually showed remorse for what he did. It's fears of what I write about being misconstrued like that that really makes me hesitant to even talk about certain ideas with partners. But I'm getting over that, little by little and step by step.

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ?

I actually love writing (as you can tell) introspective pieces. Something where you're really getting inside the character's head for a moment to see past all of their walls and facades, or sometimes you're still seeing what they tell THEMSELVES is the real undiluted truth, but isn't. I just love that kinda stream of consciousness really dig deep into the VOICE of a character exploration. Makes me feel lots of emotions.

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ?

Usually I'll be doing something else like watching a piece of media or listening to a podcast and start to think "Ooh, my muse would love this" or "this makes me think of xyz muse wow", and it just kind of expands organically from there.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪɴ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ?

Music helps get me inspired initially, especially since I make spotify playlists for all my muses (and ships :P), so generally I'm cool with music, but usually I zone in too much on my own writing to pay attention. It's like my sense of hearing turns off.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ?

Both- There's always a general sort of... idea or outcome that me and my partner would LIKE to shoot for? And sometimes we just don't get there, because it really depends on what the characters do/say and how it's taken by the other muse.

For example, I was roleplaying a thread with @steeleidolon's Kunsel where he and Jae are trying to broker a deal and Kunsel ends up saying something to the effect of "your people" and he means the Turks. Jae, on the other hand, hears 'your people' and assumes Kunsel was bringing up his race and the perception of fellow people from Wutai or Hanuel being unfairly insular. So, it kinda went to shit, LOL.

It's little things like that that can color your muse's reaction to sometimes very different degrees than what you plan for!

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ?

I like complicated dynamics and no, I will never shut up about them. Ships for me don't even have to strictly be romantic or sexual in nature, so like- I have some interactions I'm still feeling out with @saishuu-heiki that are platonic but leaning in a distinctly enemy/frenemy/challenges other person kind of vibe? And I think it's great! They don't HAVE to be like "we're friends, we're lovers, or we hate each other'- Like, limiting all your interactions to one of those three options gets really boring for me...

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟɪᴀꜱ/ɴᴀᴍᴇ?

King_Kkeungi is my mangaka pseudonym for the Silent Manga Audition that I tried submitting to last year. People have called me just "King" (if they didn't know how to pronounce Korean) or "Kkeungi" before, so I tend to go by these handles now.

ᴀɢᴇ?

30s, I'm like Dagon: ancient and evil, spoken about in hushed whispers that the zealots who follow my dark lore worship-

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ?

May 10th

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀ(ꜱ)?

Blue-greens like teal and turquoise, soft pastel mint, and pinky-purples

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ(ꜱ)?

Currently? PRIMADONNA by Kedarui! It's a sequel to their other song, Femme Fatale and has amazing lore and characters. It's just got fascinating kinda themes and imagery when you watch them back to back.

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

The 2nd DUNE movie, holy crap, I was blown away!

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

Hell's Paradise, which I am still TRYING to finish.

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ?

Philip by millenium parade, my new go-to Jae song

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ?

Thai or Vietnamese food *drools*

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ?

Summer... I just love the heat and the sun and the iconic imagery/sounds/themes like eating watermelon and wearing floppy plastic sandals, melting ice cream, hearing the chime of our furin while sitting outside on the porch of the house.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ?

I talk to regularly (like near every day): @ceaselxss, @annjiru, @phoenixshards, @sadistpet, @nightiingaled. Like talking with a lot: @speedchasing, @ofdeference, @hisnewera, @cwarscars, @contemptim, @steeleidolon, @altrxisme, @hxbiris & @hxvemxnd

The people who have known me the LONGEST are mostly discord only rpers now, but Tricky, HD, Kit, and Vixen I consider to be extremely close to me since we've been friends for... like over or around 6+ years and are still ongoing buddies who have met face to face before.

Then there's my ex-fiancee, but he doesn't do tumblr rp anymore.

This list also doesn't even cover ppl I write with/ooc interacted with over a long period of time like @ivory-paragon, @poeticphoenix, @reapersxfolly, @endweapon, @chthonicsurge, or @dcviltriggcr, so- I like reaching out to people and developing bonds! We don't even have to be on discord capslocking at each other, it's really cool when you can come back to an RPC and still have that connection without any awkward small talk?

[alterrune]

(Laurence is in the cafeteria, as he hasn't gotten much sleep, dwelling on the encounter he had previously last night.)

Laurence Burnway: Am I going crazy again? No, I'm just dwelling on something wrong entirely. It's just a fever dream... I just need a little rest.

(Laurence rests his head on the table and closes his eyes. Suddenly he is slapped across the face by someone)

Laurence Burnway: AH! If you had to wake me up, you could've-

(Laurence sees his Shadow Self staring at him smiling)

Shadow Laurence: Wakey wakey Laurence!

(Laurence promptly sits back up and steps away)

Laurence Burnway: No, why are you here again?!

Shadow Laurence: C'mon buddy! You think I'd leave you alone that easily, that we'd only encounter each other once? That isn't how it works Agent.

Laurence Burnway: What now huh?! You want to torment me again?!

Shadow Laurence: Oh? Jumping to conclusions now? You've lost your edge, Phoenix. Let me show you something.

(Laurence's shadow puts his arm around him and guides him to a one way mirror, showing a hospital room)

Laurence Burnway: What is this?

Shadow Laurence: You don't recognize this room? You've visited it a-lot... look who's in that bed, and who's next to it.

(Laurence see's that its Lily in the bed, and someone in a hospital gown with their head covered in bandages was looming over her)

Laurence Burnway: LILY?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER???

Shadow Laurence: Shhhh... you do know she's still asleep earlier... she can't see or hear us Laurence, one way mirror. What you're seeing is a place spawned off of your sisters true feelings, much like the Zulu Security base we are currently in. Now... listen.

(Lily wakes up, and she notices her surroundings are different. Lily is tied to the hospital bed by bandages)

Lily Burnway: Am I dreaming again? ... Oh my god, why am I in the same hospital room, why am I tied?!

(Lily see's the figure looking at her)

Lily Burnway: This is a nightmare, what is happening?!

???: You're concerned about that? What about your big brother?

(The figures voice was Lily's)

Lily Burnway: Who are you? Why do you sound like me?

???: Someone who stuck with you, no matter if you were Lily... of if you were Kynn. Tell me, have you been checking on Laurence recently, something is happening to him.

Lily Burnway: I... I've been spending time with him!

???: What about when you were sick? Your little heart began to function poorly, all because you went near the lake... you didn't see those substances. Now look what happened afterwards! You got deceased, Laurence worked himself to the bone to try and save you, and dad was grieving because... oh, right, mom died, while you were in the hospital.

Laurence Burnway: No, please, this is too horrible.

Lily Burnway: It can't have been my fault!

???: Oh? And look what happened to your family, dad became more focused on GEOGRAM, and Laurence? He was doing everything, so much, burying himself on duty just to get that money for your heart transplant! It's your fault... everything fell apart because of your existence. Deep down, you're just baggage.

Lily Burnway: What gives you the right to say all of this?! How do you know?!

???: I know every little detail about you... oh little Lily, scared of letting everyone down for failing, over and over.

(The figure begins unwrapping the bandages, revealing the figure as Lily, and just like Shadow Laurence, she has yellow eyes.)

Shadow Lily: I am a Shadow... The True Self.

(Lily was too stunned to say anything)

Shadow Laurence: I see... it would appear you and Lily share the same kind of mutual pain. Who would've thought that two siblings, still fighting their inner demons, would've gotten to the point that both realties you two created would cause this Zulu Security Base and the Hospital to both connect to each other.

(Laurence shoves his Shadow self away)

Laurence Burnway: I'm done with this! I've had enough you bastard!

Shadow Laurence: Losing your cool Agent, that's a sign that you're slipping. *Sigh* I can see, you're still very resentful of me, I understand, but you and Lily. aren't getting any better that's for sure. Ah, the clock is ticking, our time is up.

(Shadow Laurence shoots Laurence in the knee with a revolver, but Laurence can still see Lily from the one-way mirror. Laurence can see Lily's Shadow walking toward her)

Laurence Burnway: GET AWAY FROM HER!!!

Shadow Laurence: She can't hear you from this side, you would've known what thanks to academy training. Listen up, if this wasn't a dream, things would've ended differently for you and Lily, we might as well wake you both up. If you want to settle things for good... I suggest you look at a TV, and bring an Audience as well. Me and your Sisters Shadow will be patiently waiting until then.

(Shadow Laurence points the revolver at Laurence's head, with Shadow Lily preparing to cut the life support machine connected to Lily)

Shadow Laurence: We'll be waiting for you both, look forward to it along with your friends.

(Shadow Laurence shoots Laurence in the head, and Shadow Lily disconnecting Lily's life support machine, both at the same time. Laurence and Lily promptly wake up afterwards, only it was more frantic for both, as they are much more shaken this time)

NOW!

(Suddenly, a whole bunch of sprinklers on the ceiling go off, and Shadow Laurence is coated in green ink as he tries to leave. I quickly move in, landing a flying kick on him, and pin him down as hard as I can. The others, weapons aimed at him, move in as well.)

Like the sprinker system I hooked up? You can thank Deep Cut of Splatsville fame for hooking me up with the sprinklers I needed for that. I know I can't kill you, but beating you up is an option. And now you're roping Lily into this? You really are the bad parts of him. Now...explain.

"Oh...so the audience couldn't wait, could they? Well, I'm sorry, but you can't harm me. Not unless you have a Persona yourself."

(Suddenly, a strange card begins falling from the sky into my hand. A blue aura surrounds me, as I give Shadow Laurence a smug smirk.)

Careful what you wish for, pal...

(I crush the card in my hand and my own Persona, Magatsu-Izanagi, comes out from behind me in a blinding flash of blue light.)

...because you just might get it.

"WHAT?! How the hell do you---"

Magatsu-Izanagi, hit him with a Magatsu Mandala.

(Magatsu-Izanagi gives a monstrous, demonic roar before plunging his blade into the ground. Japanese symbols suddenly surround Shadow Laurence, spinning faster and faster until they explode, hitting him hard. Thankfully, he's still alive.)

Get up, asshole. I know you didn't die from that, Maggy-Izzy went SOFT on you there.

"Ugh...you're good. But I believe I will take my leave now...but mark my words, I am a part of him, and until he accepts that, I will never permanently leave him alone."

Good. We'd prefer it if you left Laurence alone for a bit before pulling this shit again.

Maybe after we're done celebrating Grand Festival? You'll have our full attention then.

If you want us to be your audience, then you aren't gonna get it now.

But rest assured, when we DO have your full attention, we will kick your ass into next week.

(Shadow Laurence dissappears into the shadows. The rest of the CSB, as well as Laurence and Lily, suddenly look at me with bewildered looks in their eyes.)

Dude. What the HELL was that thing you summoned?

And why the hell COULD you summon it?!

(I sigh. This is gonna be fun to explain to all of them. Hoo boy...)

Remeber how I was complaining that "it came back to bite us in the ass"? Well, the "it" I was referring to was awakening Magatsu-Izanagi. That big red ball of anger was my shadow at one point.

Maggy-Izzy (which, by the way, is my nickname for him) is the spirit of chaos and calamity. And Shadow Kyle essentially was a big ball of those feelings. He fought me with all the anger and chaos you can think of, and at the end of it all he pinned me to the ground and would've KILLED me...if I hadn't realized what he meant by "the true self". He wasn't just some weird doppelgänger of me. He was the parts of me that I wanted to lock away. After finally accepting him as a part of me instead of treating him like something that needed to be locked away, he turned into Maggy-Izzy.

I...see. And that thing isn't hostile?

Nope. Also, usually Personas can't be summoned in the real world, but I think things have gone a bit haywire now that we know Shadow Laurence is out and about.

Well, glad to know you have protection. What about Alter, Violet, Henry and Ellie?

Not possible. They have those spirits that essentially act as Personas all the same. I'm only different because Storyteller isn't some kind of living being like the others' are.

Well, glad to know you've got my back, Kyle.

Yeah. We were just lucky we had a trap ready to be sprung on Shadow Laurence. Me and Maggy-Izzy will help you again if you need it. And the same goes for Lily/Kynn, too.

Considering I'm now roped into this, I'm glad I have your help, Kyle.

[natolesims]

SIMS TAG

@memoirsofasim tagged me ages ago! Thank you so much :')) I'll tag @reality-refuge @pink-chevalier @lizillasimming @rillabrooke @pixel-bloom @falsetochild and @queeniecook! Feel free to ignore, you know ittt

What’s your favourite sims death? 

Drowning. It's classic ;)

Alpha CC or Maxis Match?

Maxis match! I do like how cool alpha looks on renders and CAS edits, but since I'm an avid player I have a hard time looking at super realistic stuff in the rest of the mm world features and sims.

Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? 

Nah. If I picture them being worried about their image/health, I try to make them lose weight or become fit with in-game features (mods included).

Do you use move objects? 

Yup!

Favorite mod?

UI cheats!

First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? 

Seasons

Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? 

Like the second one, hehe.

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? 

Most of my story sims have a special spot in my wrinkly heart because I play with them so often and I become attached, but some of my special favourites are Yellow, Grumpy, Wes, Maleficent (still not seen), Annie and Plum.

Have you made a simself? 

Yup, but I've never really played with it. I don't know, not my thing I guess.

What sim traits do you give yourself? 

Paranoid (I'm always worrying about my entire existence), glutton, clumsy, creative, loves outdoors, loves animals, socially awkward.

Which is your favorite EA hair color? Brown, tbh.

Favorite EA hair? 

The short bob that was recently added in a sims delivery! The one with it's roots dyed.

Favorite life stage? 

Toddlerhood (?). They're soft and squishy and cute and-

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? I actually enjoy both a lot! I'm not a great builder, but since I learnt a thing or two I'm more than happy to make builds/houses that fit my gameplay better!

Are you a CC creator?

Uuuhhh I've done a few conversions, poses and recolors, but no. I consider fully myself a storyteller

Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? 

I've never been a friend squad kind of person but I do have some mutuals I consider as friends!

What’s your favorite game? 

TS4 (please don't shoot me)

Do you have any sims merch?

Ño, but I'm opening a crochet ETSY shop soon and I plan to make some, huehuehue

Do you have a YouTube for sims?

Nooo, I'm shy. Maybe I'll give it a try as soon as I move out on my own.

How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing?

I think I kind of managed to beat the same face syndrome most of my sims had the first years I played the game (I didn't join simblr then), and I definitely found a pair of skins and details that I use consistenly on my simmies, so they look less wonky. Since I also embraced MM CC and vanilla items, most of them look more in sync with the game visuals.

What’s your Origin ID?

Rubispinus

Who’s your favorite CC creator? 

Pyxis, simmandy, sentate, and littlebowbub. Of course there are tons more, but they are the first in line and I hoard everything they create, hehe.

How long have you had a simblr? 

Since late 2020 

How do you edit your pictures? 

My GShade preset does almost all the work, honestly. For story posts, I plop the pics in a PS template I made and add the captions, and for the gameplay posts I also have another templates that fit my other format. I add some text, stickers or overlays, run topaz clean and boom. I use ezgif.com for the gifs :D

What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? 

Something medieval or pirate related, or some other occults like fairies and zombies. Honestly I'll take anything that'll add gameplay features. (I would also like a pack refresh for the mermaids, they suuuuck)

What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? 

It's a tie between jungle adventure and paranormal stuff!

[macstarli]

Hi beloved mutual! What would you pick as your five or so favorite Rory/Logan scenes and why?! What do you see as their main similarities and complementary differences? What kind of parent do you think Rory and Logan would each be to their child? And, finally, what are a few unpopular opinions you have about Rory and Logan separately or together? (One of mine is that I still like both of them tremendously despite their flaws, lol)

Hi! This is going to be interesting, because it's actually been a while since I've watched Gilmore Girls, so there's no way it's gonna be comprehensive in any way, but I'll have fun thinking about it.

Some favorite moments... I really like the conversation they have in season 7 after Rory has her "crush" on that professor(?). It just feels really mature and healthy. I love how completely unfazed Logan is by all of it and how sure he is, that he belongs with and that as long as she's sure she belongs with him, it's all fine. And I like that he apologizes for an earlier fight and takes accountability for the fact, that maybe he didn't handle that great, but that was on him and not on her and it shouldn't make her feel weird. I have some thoughts on that earlier argument, but absolutely, he didn't handle it perfectly. Sometimes emotions get the better of us and we do things we shouldn't. And while emotions themselves can't really be wrong, the way we act on them definitely can be, so it's good to own up to that and apologize. It's a good basis for a healthy relationship, because adressing it and genuinly apologizing for it allows both parties to actually move past it, rather than letting it fester and gradually turn into something bigger.

I also really like the scene in the beginning of Vineyard Valentine. Actually I really like most of their scenes in that episode. I know people have some thoughts on it, because of Luke and I'm not arguing the writing isn't heavy-handed, but the Rory and Logan parts are very nice. You can just feel the way they fit together and how well they know each other. They're different, but in a way that goes really well together and they're both kind of amused by and fond of their differences. And it's really sweet (and again, healthy) that Logan is so genuinely cool with taking Lorelai and Luke. He knows how close Rory is to her mum and he doesn't mind at all. He doesn't complain about having to share his time with her family or having to make an effort to get along with them. This is important to Rory, more than than it is a part of Rory, so of course this is now a part of his life too. It's just a given for him and as long as he also gets some time with her, it's all good.

Random scene I really like is in Season 5, when he calls her after he's come back early from spring break. First of all, it's very obvious that he's just in that phase of "i really like you and i just wanna spent time with you" (that phrase was a total accidental quote by the way) and so is she obviously based on her reaction and it's just so cute. And you can see in their earlier scene that episode and during their phone call why. They have fun together. They tease each other and argue about stupid stuff and they're so smiley during all of it. They genuinely have so much fun just the two of them being together and I think that's a big part of being in a relationship.

I love Rory making a big deal over his birthday in season 7. It makes so much sense that growing up Logan would never be celebrated for being himself, but only ever for achieving and even there I'd guess rather sparingly. So it's so sweet that Rory very explitly goes "you existing is a big deal and I am so glad you do. Not because you did something, not because you gave me something. But just because you being who you are is fantastic and it makes my life better". I have a headcanon, that Logan is superfically very confident, because there's a lot of things he's sure of. He knows he has the family name, the family money, good looks and he can be very charming. And for most people all of that together is more than enough, so he very happily moves through life certain in the knowledge that he'll be fine. But I think one thing he learns during his relationship with Rory is to actually just be confident in himself without all of those more superficial trappings and maybe even find out who that actually is and what he wants out of life. So it's really great for Rory to basically go "we need to celebrate YOU. Just YOU. Because despite everything you were told growing up, you are definitely worth it." And because I now can't stop thinking about it, I need to mention that the song 'Sweet Nothing' by Taylor Swift really makes me think of them.

Now their similiarites... They both really enjoy "arguing" about silly stuff. They enjoy the back and forth, the clever quips and getting one over on each other.

I think they want a lot of the same things out of life and I think they both really anchor to each other when they get together. I know how they end originally, but I think apart from that you really see them hold on to each other quite strongly and for different reasons they end up being a very safe and secure place for each other, which is something they maybe weren't conciously looking for, but both still really wanted. Generally speaking I would say once they actually get together, they have very similar ideas of what their relationship is and what they want out of a relationship.

Their main complementary difference I would say is that Rory is fairly tightly wound whereas Logan tends towards being more laid back. And that Rory relax and breath a bit, have some fun, let go of some the things she's been carrying around for some time a very long time. He naturally pulls her into new experiences, that she'd shy away from by herself, because he's the one who goes looking for them and she tends to really enjoy that. I think partly, because she learns fairly quickly, that she's safe with him, so there's less reason to be anxious when he's with her and she can just let go for a bit.

On the flip side, I think Rory gives Logan some much needed structure in his life, because she's there and she's doing her thing and he wants to a part of it and that means he needs to make space and time for her things to fit in and I think he finds he actually really enjoys it. He's enjoying being being accountable to someone other than himself, because it's her, and he's enjoying taking a beat sometimes and just being home with her and a good book, even if it isn't his most natural inclination. And I think he's really surprised by that, because with his parents structure was always a really painful, restricting thing, which is why he spent so much time rebelling against it, and this feels really... different.

As to how they would parent themselves... I don't know. I think Rory would tend toward being anxious. Both when the kids are little and she'd squeeze Logans hand a lot, when they climb up and down stuff and start really exploring and jumping off of things and all those lovely things. Because she knows they need to do it, but it'd still be hard for her to watch them do something potentially dangerous. And when they get older, I think she'd tend towards being anxious for their future and how they're coping with the general and more specific difficulites that life brings. And I think that would make her want to meddle or just be very involved in certain things because she wants to help. Not too disimilar from Lorelai and Emily actually in some way.

I think Logan would be good at keeping her calm-ish (see above) and reminding her that this is just life and she can't hold on to too tight because it's not good for anyone involved. I think something he'd really struggle with is trying to figure out how to "discipline" his children, because I don't think he has ever really seen that done in a healthy way that he could model himself after. He just knows that the way things worked in his family definitely isn't how he wants to do it. I think he also knows that while he had been far too restricted in some way, he'd also had way too much "freedom" (others might call it neglect) in others and that's why a lot of things didn't klick for him until he met Rory and while I don't think he minds his "misspent youth" (he certainly had a good time misspending a lot of it) I don't think he would want his kids to celebrate getting kicked out of every possible boarding school. So finding a healthy middle ground and where to set boundaries and how to deal with a kid that probably doesn't always love those boundaries, even if it needs them, without feeling like he's being his dad will probably take some working through of issues.

I think one big issue they would have to deal with as parents together is money. Because it's gonna be there. They're gonna have money. Lots of it. And that's gonna be the enviroment their kids grow up in. And Logan know what a childhood and young adulthood with unvettered access to lots and lots of money is like. And while again, he'd definitely say he had a good time with all that money, as an adult he'd probably also knows, that it wasn't very sound parenting. At the same time I don't think he'd be for artifically restricting their kids access to money. I think Rory is really going to struggle with her view of trustfund babies and what it means to grow up in high society with lots and lots of money and is going to be a bit uncomfortable with her kids growing up very well of. I don't think that's going to be an issue for Logan, he doesn't think the having money and spending money by itself is the problem, it's everything surrounding it. So he definitely wouldn't want to give his kids unlimited access to the family bank account, but I don't think he'd mind them having credit cards when they got older and treating themselves occasionally to expensive things, he'd just want to be sure to still teach that money means something, that earning money also means something (or maybe more, that having a purpose whether it makes money or not means something), and that there are still things they can't just have simply because they think they want them. So that having patience and being able to prioritze and to weigh their wants and desires against each other are still skills they learn, because you're going to need them in life.

I don't really know which of my opinions are unpopular, so this is going to be really hard.

I think Logan had a lot of really good reasons leading up to his proposal to assume they were on the same page. Is that unpopular? And kind of based on that, I can't really blame him for walking away when Rory said no. That definitely feels like an unpopular opinion. I made a long post on a forum about this ages ago, but basically, I don't think he's actually the one who turned it into an all or nothing thing. I think that was actually Rory. Because she was the one who knew she was going to say no, who knew she going to say they were going to be long distance again, and other than saying yeah, sorry, I don't want this. You're kind of holding me back, actually. She doesn't really have anything else prepared. She's giving him a really big rejection, not just with saying no to marrying him, but by saying no to coming to San Francisco (and again, I think he has really good reasons for thinking their on the same page here, so I get why he is blind sided by all of it) despite the fact that right now she doesn't have anything else lined up. She just doesn't wanna be tied to him like that. She'd rather be on the east coast by herself figuring it out, than on the west coast with him figuring it out, because that might mean she has to think about him and their relationship and she just doesn't want that. And I don't think she's giving him a whole lot to convice him, that despite that she still loves him the way he loves her, that she still sees their future together the way she has said she does and that there is an actual concrete plan for getting there. She's not saying, ask me again in a year. In two years. She isn't saying, I wanna do things and go places, but I want my home base to be you. So let's go to San Francisco and build a home together there and also let me explore things somewhere else, knowing I'll come back to you and what we're building. And then there isn't really a lot of middle ground. Because he wants to build something with her and she doesn't. She wants to just be responsible for herself and no one else. And that's fine. But it's not really a relationship is it? So I get kinda frustrated when she knows what she's saying, she know's he's gonna be hurt and feel incredible unloved and rejected and yet it's somehow his job to have a back-up plan ready for them? He had a plan. He told her what he wanted. She said no. And again, that's perfectly fine. She apparently wasn't in a place to commit to someone else and that is entirely valid. But she doesn't offer a counter plan for what she does want. He's the one who says, what we'll do just do long-distance, seeing each other occasionally for the unforseeable future, because she hasn't given him anything else. And she weakly nods and says we've done it before. She doesn't try to convice him, tell him how much she wants to make this work, tell him she'll make time, to have room for her in his place, because she's going to be there, even if it isn't all the time. She doesn't offer anything, despite the fact that unlike him she's had all night to think about what comes after the no she knew she was going to give. And I think that means she didn't have anything to offer. She just didn't have room for him in her life. And I think it's fair, that after she just said no to his proposal, he then didn't start asking for something less so she can say no again. "Okay, let's not get engaged, just come to San Francisco" "No, I don't wanna be tied down by you." "Okay, let's do long-distance, but let's have an end date in sight" "No, I don't wanna be tied down by you." If she wanted any of those things, any kind of middle ground that was still something resembling the actual relationship they were already having, she could have offered it. But she didn't. And that left them with all or nothing. Because that's what she was offering that moment. Nothing and the vague hope that eventually at some point she'd be ready for something. And that's my unpopular opinion on the two of them together.

I'm not sure I have unpopular opinions on them individually, they tend to be very linked in my head.

Anyway, thanks so much for sending this, I had a really good time trying to come up with some decent answers :)

[kariachi]

#agree with everything ur saying but im actually thinking abt what u said in ur tags#and how its a missed opportunity that it didnt foreshadow the rooters arc#BC THAT WOULDVE BEEN SO FUCKING COOL??????#and in that situation its also kind of interesting thinking abt what argit and his universes rooters (if they exist) r like#is it more like in prime where theyre trying to get to the omnitrix user and destroy them?#or does he work closely with them?#(close bc in prime he was their captive. in argit 10 i assume it would be a more family friendly approach)#and if they work together is it bc the rooters r good guys#bc theyre acting like the good guys (like prime)#or bc theyre bad guys through and through no smokescreen abt it#and again if thats the case is argit working with them bc of a secret evilness? bc hes trying to take them apart? or for another reason?#idk it just wouldve been SOOOOO cool to see more of the argit 10 universe#honestly its a shame we never see anything abt it again#or if we do its like a throw away gag in extra material that isnt canon (via @expired-blueberries)

It's the sort of thing that can go in a million directions depending on how you want to play it. Personally the way my Argit 10 fics are... I think if the Rooters were still evil the whole mess between them and Argit would be...

The way I write Argit 10 keeps the 'homeless adultless kids trying to get by' aspect of their characters from canon, so there is crime going on amidst the heroing because especially in the early days saving the day doesn't necessarily mean you're going to have food and shelter at the end of it, and between that and, unlike Ben and Gwen, not having a Plumber patron means his relationship with the organization is essentially a mutual 'fuck this person'. Plus I have him traveling a lot trying to evade both the Plumbers and fuckers like Vilgax, so it takes longer for people to realize that all this hero shit is being done by the one person...

Why yes I am thinking aloud, sorry it's what I do

If the Rooters are as good as space cops are capable of in his dimension, or if they're a separate thing and good, then in my version I can see the relationship being, tentative maybe? We don't see enough of the Rooters to get an idea of what their goals would be if they weren't working on a child army for nefarious purposes that require removing the galaxy's top hero. Like, outside of that they seem to be mostly research and development? So depending on Argit 10's Kevin it might be more of a 'you work with my Kevin so considered this a mostly friendly relationship' situation?

If they're not then, at least my version wouldn't touch them with a ten-foot pole because he Does Not Like Plumbers and by the time the Rooters would know what was up would Not Trust People Interested In The Omnitrix.

But that's my version, and shit could change with a million circumstances. How are they going about their plans? How does Argit learn about them? Do they try to recruit him for their side? Do they attack him? Does he catch wind of rumors that are bad enough to get him to investigate? How does he deal with them? Through exposure? Through just going in and ruining their shit?

Just, as you said, we don't get any actual canon for Argit 10 besides that he exists, has a shit ton of gold, revels in it, and is good enough that Paradox thought he might be a good fit for a team of heroes out to save the day. On the one hand it's aggravating because it leaves a million questions without answers, but on the other you can take it in literally any direction depending on how you view Argit, how you view heroism, what your personal headcanons are involving Argit's history- because we somehow know less about Argit's backstory than we do about Kevin's and they threw Kevin's into a fire- and more.

There is so much potential in that dimension and it draws you in like a moth to a flame. A million directions to go, a million possibilities to toy with, and with such little canon that it'd honestly be hard to ruin it in any way that wasn't 'making it boring'.

I still love that Argit 10 was entirely unbothered by the villain side of that two-parter.

Because here's the thing- Paradox takes No-Watch Ben to five dimensions for this 'good guy specific' recruitment drive.

Prime Ben's. He's unquestionably one of the good guys.

Ben 10k's. He's unquestionably one of the good guys.

Gwen 10's. She's unquestionably one of the good guys.

Ben 23's. He was engaging in villainous behavior (and given we know that there were already aliens living peacefully on Earth before the Omnitrix, yeah this kid definitely made their lives that much harder by encouraging violent anti-alien sentiment among the populace and given his 'wait some aliens aren't pure evil?!' reactions he probably attacked at least some innocent fuckers in his time- good intentions doesn't mean good) up until a recent turnaround, and it's shown with the villains trying to force him back into the fold, but now he's one of the good guys.

And Argit 10's. Who was shown Scrooge McDucking it, but with two key features.

Paradox brought them there. Remember, this whole interdimensional trip is specifically stated by Paradox to be to gather up the good Omnitrix Wielders.

There's no sign of the villains. After 23 turned his life around and they still tried to recruit his ass, by force if necessary, there's nothing to suggest Argit has even been bothered.

The first one is important because it sets a very important stage- Paradox considers Argit 10 one of the good guys. Everyone else he brings No-Watch to is either undoubtedly a good guy or has turned themselves around to become a proper good guy. Not neutral, not 'maybe we can bribe him', he specifically says they looking for the good ones, and then brings them there.

The second one is important because after seeing the villains trying to force 23- the only one on Team Good with his own track record- to join their ranks, that leaves only a few options for why Argit wouldn't have been bothered.

Argit is firmly enough on the good side that they didn't bother- a la Gwen 10, 10k, Prime

Argit is iffy but not about to join Team Bad- a la 23- and avoided the 'we don't take no for an answer' fight by quilling a bitch as soon as they didn't take a no

Argit is iffy- a la 23- but the villains also took one look and said 'fuck that', which honestly I doubt because if nothing else you would think since one would probably assume he was highly bribeable at first glance he'd be a prime target to try to get for Team Bad, that'd be an easy recruitment there

So, yeah. Argit 10 can be reasonably assumed to be one of the good guys, or at worst iffy-leaning-towards-good, and may not even have been considered by the villains- unlike our dear 23- though we can't know whether that was due to morality levels or just everybody looking at him and going 'no thank you'.

It's a brief scene, and it's used as a gag, but it really is interesting and opens some potential doors for our rat.

[loserchildhotpants]

Destiel prompt from Twitter; kissing each other to prove there’s nothing there, even though, it’s a lie, and the kiss proves it (from this prompt list)

“I’m just saying that I don’t think you’d get this defensive if there really wasn’t anything between you two -”

“There isn’t, and I’m not getting defensive!” Dean argues, decidedly defensively.

“Methinks the lady doth protest too much,” Sam offers with a shrug and a smirk.

Staring down into the open grave the boys are in, Castiel glances between the brothers and tilts his head, wondering if perhaps by a different angle, he may better understand what their expressions mean.

“We’re bonded or whatever - that’s it, man! There’s nothing else going on!”

“I’m not even saying there is anything ‘going on,’ I’m just saying there could be, and if that were something you wanted -”

“I’m not qu -”

“I know, I get it, I hear you, humor me for a second, okay? All I’m saying is just - if there were something between you two, and you wanted there to be something ‘going on,’ where there is currently nothing ‘going on,’ I just think you should, hypothetically go for something rather than settling for the nothing, because, personally, I think there is something there, and you could have a great thing going if that were what you wanted.”

“Even if - which I don’t - I’m not - listen, though, okay? I’m not, and I don’t want that - not that there’s anything wrong with it, or something, just - even if that were the case, Cas isn’t like that. He’s not a being that experiences shit like that -”

“I’m telling you you’re wrong, Dean! The way he stares at you -”

“He stares at everyone!”

“Do I?”

The Winchesters jump in unison, both with hands on their guns faster than should be possible. They both visibly relax again, though, when they realize it’s only Castiel interrupting.

“Oh, hey, Cas,” Dean greets, his voice markedly more gentle than it was with Sam only a moment before.

Castiel appreciates it.

“Hello, Dean.”

With a cheeky grin, Sam clears his throat, and says to Cas, “your timing couldn’t be better, actually, Cas - Dean and I have some questions -”

“No, no, we do not have questions,” Dean growls at Sam, eyes blazing dangerously.

“I am always available to you boys for whatever inquiries I can assist in. Is this pertaining to my staring? It’s academic in nature, I assure you - frankly, I am used to having a form that hosts many more eyes; being in this Earthly form can present obstacles, as my perceptions are more limited than I can remember them ever being. I promise I do not mean to insult anyone.”

“Oh, I don’t think anyone’s thinking of it as an insult,” Sam intones; Dean shoves his elbow into Sam’s kidney to shut him up.

“This is you being defensive, by the way,” Sam wheezes, doubled over, but still smirking at Dean, “What’s the big deal if there’s nothing going on?”

Flushed, Dean scowls at Sam, drops his shovel, and tells him, “I’m not being defensive! There’s nothing to be defensive about! And I’ll prove it!”

Clambering out of the grave, Dean brushes the soil from his hands onto his dirtier jeans, and stomps more than walks up to Castiel.

“You’ve a cut,” Cas murmurs worriedly, spotting a knick Dean got on his cheek earlier in the day.

“It’s nothing. Listen, Cas -”

Before Dean can get anymore out, Castiel reaches for his left-side cheek, cups that side of his face, and spreads a cooling sensation that knits the skin back together neatly and cleanly.

“Uh - thanks, Cas,” Dean mutters gruffly as Cas takes his hand back.

“My pleasure, Dean.”

Uncharacteristically nervous, Dean glances down at the ground, his hands shoved in his jean pockets, then his eyes skim the ground until they happen upon Sam’s again, and whatever silent exchange they have works Dean up again.

“Cas,” Dean begins, looking into his eyes with determination, “We’re friends, you ‘n me, right?”

“Yes, Dean. You are my most cherished friend,” Castiel answers.

That gives Dean a moment’s pause where he seems to be searching Castiel’s face for some sign of sarcasm or deceit; there is none to be detected, of course.

“I - thanks, man. Uhm. Now - this is gonna sound like a weird question, but bear with me, ‘cause I’m not about to assume consent or something.”

“Okay,” Castiel says in confusion, tilting his head again.

“I’m tryin’a prove a point here to Sam, and to get it across - just - would you be okay with me kissing you? Like, just this once - I promise I won’t make it weird or anything, but I gotta ask, you know? I know you’re not into physical stuff like -”

“You’d like my permission to kiss?” Castiel intercepts neutrally, “Like people do?”

Something about that is funny - or startling? - to both Sam and Dean, and Castiel can’t tell which or for what reasons.

“Yeah. Just this one time,” Dean repeats.

Though he takes a respectable count of four seconds to seem as though he needs to consider his options, Castiel nods, and replies, “of course, Dean. Of all the favors you’ve asked of me before, I assure this is certainly the most convenient and pleasant of them.”

Sam snorts a laugh, Dean tosses a glare at him, and then settles gentle, if a little nervous, eyes back on Castiel.

“Okay…”

Dean steps closer into Cas’ space, bringing them toe-to-toe and he finds himself staring down; he’d not realized Cas was shorter than him. It’s not by much, not really enough to be remarked upon, even, but it means that Cas winds up looking up at him from under the cover of long, dark lashes, and even in the dark of the night, his eyes shine like twinkling gems.

Swallowing with some difficulty, Dean holds loosely onto the lapels of Cas’ trench coat, and he means to go in chaste, he really does, it’s just that he’s actually struggling to breathe a little, so his lips are just barely parted, and Cas - as far as Dean can tell, Cas takes that as a cue.

Because Cas’ full lips press in, but so does his tongue; before Dean can even secure his footing, Cas makes his loose hold on the lapels go tight, licking up into Dean’s mouth without hesitation or mercy.

Praying his shocked gasp wasn’t audible to Sam, Dean just tries to hold on while Cas turns his head, bites Dean’s heavy bottom lip, and then pushes Dean’s mouth more open with his own, and then he drags his hot tongue against Dean’s, coming in broad, and soft.

Dean hears himself make some kind of noise - he can’t tell what it is, because there’s too much blood rushing in his skull - there’s stubble. Stubble. There is stubble in this equation other than his own, and that’s new, and terrifying, and should be wholly unwelcome, but every synapse in his brain dedicated to pleasure is telling him otherwise.

One wide hand insinuates itself under the hem of Dean’s weathered flannel, calloused fingers pressing into his left hip possessively while the other hand glides over his pec, and shoulder to the back of his neck, pinky finger teasing the sensitive skin just under the back of his cotton collar, and thumb brushing the fine hairs at the base of Dean’s skull.

Dean thinks he may be swaying - he’s dizzy.

Cas is dragging him closer, pressing their hips and abdomens together, and Dean’s hands have somehow found better purchase on the front of Cas’ button-down dress shirt than his lapels.

Dean thinks he hears one of the buttons pop off with the strain of his hold, but neither of them seem inclined to do anything about it, so he figures it doesn’t matter; he tries to establish himself as a bit more dominant, thrown off his usual groove by the absolutely sinful way Cas apparently kisses.

To Dean’s simultaneous horror and delight, Cas doesn’t relinquish any control; he won’t be moved, his hands get tighter and hotter where they touch Dean’s skin, he only presses them harder together, and he kisses Dean like he wants to eat him alive.

He kisses Dean like he wants to crawl inside him, like he’s hungry - starved - like kissing is an act of carnage just as much as an act of love, like those things aren’t mutually exclusive.

He’d rather die than admit it to anyone, but Dean’s knees get a little weak, and Cas basically holds up his entire weight by just the grip he’s got on Dean’s waist.

Before he knows it’s happened, Dean’s hard enough to carve stone, and Cas readjusts how they’re slotted against one another to better accommodate Dean’s failing balance, and Cas feels it - he must. Even if he doesn’t feel how hard Dean is against him right away, the guttural moan Dean will deny having made til his dying breath clues him in.

What sounds like hundreds of cherry bombs going off has them stumbling away from each other, and frantically looking about.

The streetlights have exploded. There’s glass everywhere, and based on the echoes of car alarms and distant voices, it’s becoming more and more possible that Cas destroyed the windows and lights of several cars and nearby homes.

Even he and Sam’s flashlights are busted.

In the blanket of darkness that’s settled over the graveyard, Dean can still see clearly, because Cas’ eyes are high beams cutting through the fog of the night.

They’re both panting, Dean’s pretty certain that a resting heart rate isn’t meant to feel like this, and Cas is looking positively feral.

“Jesus fuck!” Sam curses, his arms crossed over his head where he still plucks a shard of glass from his hair.

Reminded of Sam’s presence, Castiel’s head swivels to him, the glow of his eyes dims down, and then he looks back at Dean, visibly frightened.

Dean takes no pleasure in Cas ever being scared, so he reaches out, takes a step back into Cas’ space, but that spooks him more, and in less than a blink of an eye, he’s gone.

Not cool, Cas, Dean thinks loudly, hoping it counts as a prayer that Cas will hear.

Reaching into the front of his jeans, Dean uses the near blackness of the power outage to his advantage, and readjusts himself to the best of his abilities.

It really doesn’t do much.

“Well,” Sam starts pointedly.

Dean, weak at the knees, lips criminally swollen, face flushed, hair mussed and harder than he’s ever been in his life, turns slowly to scowl at Sam.

“That was not nothing.”

Dean doesn’t see a way of winning the argument, so he kicks dirt into Sam’s hair, and leaves him to finish burying.

[theyarebothgunshot]

I’d be very interested in your thoughts on the JIB8 cockles panel. just a suggestion for your rewatch 👀

i’ve seen the jib8 panel so many times, because it’s honestly one of the wildest things i have ever seen and i just never get tired of it. 

first of all i want to give you my take on the overall vibe, and then second of all i will get into the details and link to certain timestamps in the video. 

disclaimer: i am not gonna be linking to every single thing i talk about, but i will try my best to link to the moments that stand out to me the most. i have read long posts about this panel before, so not everything in this post is gonna be original or said for the first time ever, simply because there is a good chance that information has stuck in my mind and has subconsciously formed my view of this panel. this is also in no way, shape or form gonna be coherent, unfortunately. i’m just gonna hope that the cockles hivemind will be able to make sense of this regardless. love and light. and lastly, this is all in good fun, so don’t come at me if you think this is too out there please and thank you.

fun fact: i was today years old when i found out that the airbnb story took place one day before this panel. what a sexually charged weekend that was for them dude (gn).

the vibe that i get from this panel is that their moods were off before they got on stage, and where misha kind of looks tired and not 100% enthusiastic about things, jensen apparently decided to get drunk and is trying to make it look like he is thriving. yet, a little while into the panel we learn that it has been an emotional rollercoaster of a day for him, which might have something to do with the overall mood. then again, it could be that something else happened in between the autographs and that panel, who is to say?

i have talked about the d/s subtones in their interactions before and this panel makes my radar ping like nobody’s business. if my interpretation of their dynamics is right, then one could assume that jensen was being very bratty on purpose, trying to stir up a reaction in misha, and i think he probably got what he wanted (more or less. maybe he thought misha would find it more amusing than he did, or but honestly, at that point they have already known each other for nearly 10 years so odds are he knew what he was doing and how misha would react to it. it would surprise me greatly if these two didn’t work out their mutual frustrations with the day and each other after this panel ended- in the bedroom.)

i genuinely think i have never seen jensen flirt more openly and aggressively with misha, ever, and i have never seen misha in the state he was in during this panel either: tired, a little annoyed about the fact that jensen was going off the deep end and that he was not able to stop him, to the point where he just gives up and says things like ‘when in rome’ etc. let’s get into it. 

the mood is set from the very first second: misha is kinda subdued, and jensen is being a bit of a clown, coaxing misha to join him in the madness, which he does to a certain extent. 

we are off to a great start with not just one [0m15s], but two [0m20s] moments in which i just know in my bones they wanted to hold hands. how do i know? because i have been there my fucking self. wanting to hold hands with your crush when you are drunk and acting silly is a love language okay.

as soon as they sit down, misha tries to make conversation and jensen just starts pushing him and pushing him, [1m11s] saying ‘shut up’ and ‘yeah it’s really stupid and it embarrasses me’, but misha tries to ignore it at first and just marches on through. which is probably why i never see people talk about that little comment. it embarrasses jensen when misha sits like that? why would he need to feel embarrassed by his friend’s actions? kinda weird tbh, sounds like husband behavior to me. i have a feeling that when misha said ‘by which he means it’s an innie’, jensen REALLY had to bite on his tongue not to go all ‘you weren’t complaining this morning’ or something like that. look at his face bro [1m55s]. 

and then jensen opens up his legs like the little tramp (affectionate) that he is and when misha tries to stop him he just TURNS to misha with said open legs like a mad man and goes ‘here’s the thing. pick a leg.’ [2m05s] LIKE? who DOES THAT? that is insane people behavior!!! admittedly i am a cis woman and i don’t have conversations with male friends about their bodily anatomy all that often, but i legit cannot phatom that this is a normal thing to talk about with your platonic buddy. pick a leg for me to rest my dick on, old buddy old pal. NOBODY DOES THAT. it’s not even something that i would consider flirting because even though i am into men, i would not find that arousing? so it’s either an action to provoke annoyance in misha or it’s something they have discussed before or both. because misha immediately understands what he means, starts shaking his head in frustration, and actually turns to jensen as if to say ‘are you fucking kidding me right now? really? you are really doing this?’ followed by a ‘this is making me feel so uncomfortable’ aka one of the phrases they both like to use even though they never mean it. 

then when jensen actually goes up to do his ridiculous mating dance and sits back down again, he automatically sits down with his body turned towards misha. 

quick side note: if anybody understands what the joke was about when they talked about ‘cas has big dolls’ i would love to hear it, because that has never made any sense to me, but it’s probably a me problem lmao. 

when misha goes ‘could you watch your language please’ i think that’s a sign that he is genuinely getting a bit frustrated [4m53s] with jensen even though he is obviously playing it off as a joke. right after he says that, jensen puts his fingers against his mouth, as if to shut himself up. i know that a lot of people don’t wanna read too much into body language but hey, i am writing an analysis here so work with me for a sec: i think that could be a subconscious decision to listen to what misha is telling him to do, which ties into the d/s dynamics i’ve mentioned earlier. 

i know people always go crazy when misha goes ‘what did i tell him’ [5m19s] and jensen whispers in his ear. i personally think misha probably told him about the fact that they booked kansas the band, but it’s still pretty telling that that is how misha would react to the question if something he told him is public knowledge. evidently that goes to show that there is enough that misha tells jensen that cannot be shared with the public, which i thought is interesting. 

now that i am watching it again, the ‘j*red would have just said it’ comment kind of stumbles around in my brain asking me to dissect it. let’s just say that i wouldn’t be surprised if they were both thinking back on the many, many times that j*red put his foot in his mouth and made a suggestive comment about jensen and misha’s relationship. 

god i just cringed [6m14s] watching jensen interact with that first girl who asked a question and he just goes off on her about how twins are cool and misha is shaking his head lord oh lord and that is the minute daniella decides that hey maybe they need even more alcohol lmfaoooo it’s a lot. poor misha i genuinely feel bad for him.

and then he goes ‘real men have twins’ and looks at misha and misha is still not having it so he goes ‘it’s just a shirt’ like girl (gn) pleASE that’s husband behavior, yet again, why else would he feel the need to clarify it. ‘look babe don’t be mad or jealous i don’t mean anything by it, it’s just a shirt’ i hate him. 

i just know misha would have wanted to take the apple juice away from jensen lmao. 

one of the moments [9m35s] that always stands out to me is when they go ‘that’s why we don’t bring steven’ ‘that’s right, that’s why he’s not allowed’ idk how to explain it but the way that just flows out of them so naturally feels very coupley for some reason.

i think we can all agree that jensen’s reaction [12m22s] to misha’s ‘i always wear orange underwear’ story is completely fake, right? because there is no way he didn’t know that, and his reaction was very exaggerated. plus, the little gesture to make misha show his underwear? bitch, please. whipped. there was also exactly zero reason for him to come that close to misha in order to inspect the color of his underwear.

the one thing that i wonder about, though, is why misha didn’t know jensen was wearing the famous underbear briefs? but as i am writing this i realise that even if they slept in the same hotel room, there are obviously a few different possible reasons why misha didn’t know what underwear jensen was wearing that day: either jensen showered and changed in the bathroom, so by the time he faced misha again he was fully dressed, or misha had to leave their hotel room earlier than jensen, or jensen changed while misha showered, etc etc. 

in any case……. jensen dropping trou in the middle of this fucking panel? absolutely batshit insane, 10/10 thank you for your service nesnej. 

this [13m54s] is where shit really starts to hit the fan. jensen is OUT OF CONTROL. the long stares??? the ‘rawr’s??? ‘you didn’t even get the full picture’??? (sidenote i would love to know what misha whispered to him right after).

OKAY so. when the girl mentions j*red and jensen goes all Knowing What’s Up and says ‘oh he has had a rough time today. misha kept us up way too late last night. *glances at misha* rrrrrrr’ listen. the only reason i am not reading too much into this is because i do not believe they had a threesome with j*red but also the way he said it was very sus and my mind can’t help but wonder if they were disgustingly flirty and way too touchy feely in front of j*red whilst drunk and honestly that’s probably the case.

of course this is followed [15m15s] by the insane man saying ‘by the way they go down to here’??? and the potentially whispered ‘i’ll show you later’?????? sir i have a lot of questions. number one: how dare you? 

bless this next person for this question, because she starts her sentence with: ‘people who have been together for a long time…’ i actually already made a post about this once so i implore you all to read that because i still stand by what i said in there.

it is of course followed by them both not being able to think about ANYTHING appropriate to say to the question if there is anything they only do in front of each other that doesn’t involve pants. and then misha goes ‘why don’t i just share a private moment that we had’ and jensen’s first instinct is to say ‘shit’. i mean. i am merely perceiving. 

this is the moment we realise that it has been quite The Day for them, but especially for jensen, because he has been emotional earlier in the day. which, again, could explain his demeanor during the panel. trying to distract himself. notice that he gets up and shakes his legs again and goes for a drink the second misha starts to tell the story: coping mechanisms aka distraction, just like he did at the start of the panel. 

the moment where he goes ‘it’s hitting me now. shit.’ really solidifies this theory for me, that he has been acting like a goofy drunken guy all panel, in order to drown out the emotions he felt that afternoon, but alas. once he started to talk about it, it still all came back to him. 

i will say this though: it kind of warms my heart that he was so touched by the fact that the fandom spawned something good. makes me feel slightly less dumb for forming parasocial relationships with that man. only slightly, but still. 

misha going ‘god he’s so grouchy’ [25m32s]? say it with me, folks: husband behavior. once again misha tries to talk jensen down and jensen listens (sort of). say it with me, folks: d/s behavior. and RIGHT after that jensen walks towards misha with this intense fucking stare in his eyes that makes me feel like i am intruding, and then after he gets another drink (nesnej, why?) he just. gently massages misha’s neck and shoulder before draping his arm around him? and his hand lingers when he goes to grab the keychain? okay. 

insert the famous ‘when in rome’ debacle lmao misha was so done with jensen by then it’s so hilarious. the funny thing is that misha says ‘what i mean is show each other our underwear, nothing weird. you can’t look at me like that, because of what you did’, while the question was ‘what would dean and cas do in rome’ and not ‘what would jensen and misha do in rome’ but clearly, once again, the actors cannot make a distinction between the two. interesting :) it also wouldn’t surprise me if jensen has told him to tone down the dean/cas answers but now that jensen decided to fully flash him on stage misha is like ‘sorry but i am not playing by your rules after what you did’ lmao. of course, jensen’s reaction is to go back to parting his legs for misha, like he is challenging him. i mean. you can’t make this shit up. 

am i the only one who thinks that jensen might be thinking dirty thoughts when misha repeats ‘what would dean and cas do’ [27m50s]? because like. that’s quite a face he is making.

when he says ‘i don’t know how to answer that’ and misha agrees, idk, for some reason i get the feeling that that’s in the sense of ‘i don’t know how to answer that in a way that won’t get our fans’s hopes up because we know what they would want and we know what we would answer but we can’t go there’. 

i really feel like the final straw for daniella was the way that jensen reacted to that last question like he was gonna have another breakdown lmao and that’s why the rest of the cast and crew were pushed onto the stage prematurely. because when you think about it, it’s a pretty rude thing to do when somebody is still answering a question? but okay. 

listen - the last 6 minutes of this panel are so chaotic sdjfhsjh the only thing i can conclude from it is that jensen is hella drunk but we’ve been knew. his mood changes by the fucking second. i love him and his little dance and how he sits down on the stage. i feel like i might be jensen coded when i am drunk. i too get slutty and unpredictable. 

so anyways long story short: jensen was hella drunk and wanted to provoke misha, it worked, they had hot sweaty sex after this panel, and the fact that jensen got drunk enough to entrust misha with taking care of shit during the panel makes me very emotional for some reason, and i just love them a lot. thank you for coming to my ted talk. 

[valkyrie-shadow]

After rereading both ACOSF and FBAA I have come to the conclusion that

Poppy Balfour would so fit in with the Valkyrie Trio

⚠️ FBAA and ACOSF Spoilers⚠️

Assuming she just showed up one day in the House of Wind for a visit

- they train together

- she’ll at least attempt to cut the ribbon if not succeed

- they bond over smutty books

- Miss Willa Colyn’s diary is passed around if poppy has it

- have mutual respect over past and present traumas

- they swap stories about the bat boys and Casteel and Kieran (nsfw ones included obv)

- “And he was like ‘we go home to marry, my princess’ and I was like ‘what makes you think I would ever want to do that’”

- she roasts Cassian and Nesta dies laughing

- she really wants to ask questions about Azriels shadows but vibe checks him and decides against it

- she is fascinated by Emerie’s wings and asks the most random questions about like sleeping with wings or how their clothing works around them

- she obv has a thousand questions about Illyria and Prythian in general

- Cassian thinks her dagger is cool and asks questions about it

- The House does its magic hospitality thing and she is amazed

- if they take her down to the library she kinda stiffens seeing the priestesses and their veils and Gywn explains how it’s their choice to be there and totally optional to wear the veils

- they probably don’t spend a lot of time down there because poppy’s power gets kinda overwhelmed

- if Casteel is with her the girls definitely make suggestive jokes about him

- “Hey Cas!” *Cassian and Casteel both respond*

Wow there are a lot of potential headcannons abt this crossover I might do a part 2,,,, y’all should reblog w ones you think of <33

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Honey & Sweetheart

Spoilers for Season 15x20 finale

Summary: The reader talks to Jensen and a special friend about struggling with parts of the finale...

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 1,700ish

Warnings: language, spoilers

A/N: I wrote this one more for me than anyone else but if you feel similarly to how I do, I hope it helps you a bit like it did for me...

______

“Honey,” said Jensen as you stared out the window over the kitchen sink. “Oven’s going off.”

You spun and heard the beeping from the timer but he was already pulling on oven gloves. He took out the dish and set it on the counter, taking off the mitts with a strange look.

“Y/N. Are you okay?” he asked. You shrugged and he stepped behind you, resting his chin on your shoulder, arms wrapped around your waist. “Still thinking about the finale?”

“It was a few days ago,” you said.

“Honey. I thought you said you liked it Thursday night.”

“Oh course I said I liked it. This thing has been a part of you for so long. You’ve been with the show longer than we’ve even known each other. I am so proud of you and the guys and everything you did.”

“But.”

“But I’m so angry and sad at what they did to Dean. I wish I’d asked you to tell me the end over a year ago when you found out instead me wanting to be surprised. I’m so mad because there was a sign all over your face about how it would go and I ignored it because I thought you were upset they would both live quiet normal lives and not go out blaze of glory. I should have said something. I would have called somebody.”

“Honey no one would have listened,” he sighed. “That was the ending always.”

“They should have listened to what you thought about it.”

“It was decided before I walked in the room.”

“I get it. It’s just not fair you had to do what they said with no say of your own. No one on earth knows Dean better than you and they ignored you and that’s wrong.”

“I’m not a writer, Y/N. I didn’t have a good idea.”

“Why the fuck did we just make a production company if you don’t have the ability to come up with ideas then?” you shot back. He stepped away and started to walk out of the kitchen when he paused. “I’m sorry. I know you had no choice. I’m sorry you’re telling me it’s okay as much as I’m telling you lately. I should be taking care of you. He deserved so fucking better though.”

“I know he did,” said Jensen quietly. “I know some people liked it. Some hated it. The general consensus I’ve gotten one or the other is that yeah, most agree he deserved better. I knew he did. But it’s done and I can’t change it.”

“I know, honey,” you said. You nodded and he stepped closer again, resting his hands on your arms and cocking his head.

“Sweetheart,” he said, voice lower and you looked up at him. You stared and he smiled. 

“Jensen don’t-”

“That’s not my name,” he said, still smirking at you. “You do realize I’m like right here, sweetheart. Anytime you want me I’m right here.”

“No you’re not. You died a stupid death. I would have taken a stabbing, a bite, a shot, a sacrifice, so many other ways. A fucking accidental death for you was stupid. Some think it’s poetic and realistic but I don’t,” you said. He shrugged and you bit your bottom lip. 

“You were always gonna be upset if I died though.”

“Because your character grew the fuck up and knew he could have more in life. You should have gotten to have more than a dog for a week. You deserved everything Sam got too. I deserved to see that was Eileen he ended up with. I deserved to see that Cas and everyone Dean cared about was in his eventual heaven when he was an old, old man. I deserved so much better than a premature death.”

“I was forty one.”

“Jensen’s forty two. So if he keels over I’m supposed to say aw shucks he lived long enough, it’s cool? I wanted you to have everything you fucking deserve. What was the fucking point of you growing all that time for you to die from fucking rebar on a run of the mill hunt? You died just like you thought you would as a kid and I fucking hate that. Just because it is how you thought you would go out does not mean it-”

He leaned down and kissed you hard, resting his forehead against yours as he broke off.

“I never said it was a perfect ending, sweetheart. Write your own story. Write how I come back. Take it from me, I know a guy, hot guy, you may be acquainted with him and he really wants to come back in a few years once he’s gotten some space. He wants to take more control if that happens. He will he promises. He wants someone that cares as much as he does to help him figure that out. So you gonna help him out and figure out that perfect ending for me? That way to bring me back? You know this world. We break the rules all the time. You could have me back in a heartbeat. What do you say? Gonna help him and his friends out?”

“Yes,” you said quietly. 

“I know you see yourself in me, sweetheart. I know you look up to me. I’ve heard from our mutual friend,” he said. You turned your head away and felt tears build up again for the millionth time in the past week. His fingers grazed your cheek and turned you back to face him. “So I deserved better. I deserved a long and happy life. Just because I deserved it and didn’t get it doesn’t mean that your story ends up like mine.”

You blinked and he smiled, stroking your cheek.

“You can have your happy ending. Keep going towards it. Don’t ever stop. You deserve your happy ending too. But you’re writing your story. You can take control in a way I couldn’t. You deserve happiness and you’ll get it. Don’t be scared it’ll go away, sweetheart.”

“I hadn’t thought of that until just now,” you breathed out.

“I know. Don’t be scared for you is all I ask. Go figure out my comeback story and figure out how to give me some kickass hunter wife and I get the kids and house and whole nine yards. You figure that out for me cause you need it and I’m not opposed to it. In the meantime, I’m gonna hang around with our mutual friend. Well I’m always gonna be around him but I’ll be around if you want to talk. Just say so. I’m gonna tag along the ride of his happiness for now okay?”

“You’re such a dork,” you said as you nodded and rested your head against his chest. “But I fucking love you. Both of you.”

“I know you do, sweetheart,” he said. “I’m okay. I promise. I want you to be too. If our friend tries to take care of you, do me a favor and let him? He’s not the only one allowed to feel so strongly about this.”

“Okay, Dean,” you said with a smile. “I think I feel better now.”

“It’s okay, honey,” said Jensen, his voice lighter as you hugged him.

“Thanks for doing that. I needed it,” you said.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he chuckled. “But maybe listen to our friend. He made some good points.”

“I’ll still be upset about it all, maybe forever, but I’ll be okay,” you said. He kissed your temple and you shut your eyes, holding onto him. “Would it bother you if I honestly said there was parts of it I didn’t like at this moment?”

“It’d only bother me if you pretended to like it because you think that’d make me happy. You can support me and be proud of me without loving 100% of it. I have my own thoughts and opinions on it all, you can have yours too...plus I wouldn’t mind seeing your way of mixing it all up...you gonna pull the boys out of heaven?”

“Maybe. A few years from now, if you’re ever really serious about what you said, own it. Make those choices yourself.”

“Yes mam,” he said, kissing you again. “Want to go see if the new coat rack I put up in the mudroom earlier looks alright? I think I really nailed it.”

You stared at him and he giggled as he broke away.

“Too soon. So too soon,” you said as he pulled you with him towards the far side of the house.

“You cry and stress bake. I use bad humor and talking to Dean to cope. We all got out methods,” he said. “But seriously, I think I nailed it.”

“Jensen. You need to stop.”

“I’m gonna take a selfie with it and make that joke on instagram. Everyone’s gonna love that,” he chuckled.

“You need to calm down with the shitty jokes on instagram young man,” you laughed as he spun you around.

“You laughed. I won,” he said, booping your nose. “Thanks for telling me how you really feel about the end though. The end for now at least.”

“Just gotta keep teasing me with that don’t you,” you smiled.

“Not a tease, sweetheart,” he said, flashing you a wink. “Maybe we can get Dean with a beard and some swearing, what do you say?”

“Maybe I could get a preview of that?” you asked.

“You certainly fucking can,” he smirked, voice low again.

“Oh yeah, that’s definitely on the list,” you laughed. He cocked his head and kissed you gently, picking you up off the ground. “Love you.”

“Love you too, Y/N.”

______

[castielcommunism]

my main interest in destiel lies in the contradiction that cas DOES need dean as a tool sometimes, but he never treats him like one. their relationship is mutually utilitarian in a lot of ways, and when they go through rough patches, what keeps them together is often this sentiment of “I need your help/you’re useful to me”, but that’s never the POINT. they’re constantly put in situations where their relationship is brought to the brink because of that utilitarian backdrop, but it is not the reason either of them stay together. the reason they love each other is because they aren’t just a hammer and a sword.

like dean is cas’ “tool” in the sense that dean is the founding document of cas’ worldview. cas rebelled many times before, but part of the problem was that once he realised he could disobey, he had no other cause to submit himself to aside from some vague sense that he’s doing something wrong, and was eventually consumed back into the fold of the Host. but dean provides that structure for him, tenuous and incomplete as it is, and at its heart is love. so dean is like, a tool that allowed cas to reveal his own ability to love. and once that happens he stops treating dean like a tool to be used.

and obviously this works the opposite way as well. having an angel who can smite and heal people is pretty handy for a hunter, especially an angel who just quit his job and has nowhere else to go. if dean gives cas tasks to do then he’ll stick around, so he keeps cas busy. dean treats cas like a tool because he thinks there’s nothing else for him otherwise - why the hell would this guy stay with me if I’m not keeping him busy with work? etc. but like there is a point at which dean realises holy shit this guy is my best friend ever, I want him around just for the sake of it because he’s cool and I really really really like him, but he’s not gonna put up with that nonsense so I need to send him emails asking for help instead. dean is doing the equivalent of “heyyyy can you come help me with my homework you’re so smart haha” but with an Angel Of The Lord.

and this is all mostly interpretive, I’m not making an argument that this is a definitive reading of their relationship or even fully compliant with the text. However what’s appealing to me is that BOTH of them situate their own worth in their ability to be useful for other people, but they have the luxury of being useless to each other. dean rejects his destiny as a sword and cas rejects his origins as a hammer, and they figure out how to do that because they met each other!!!!!

[ugh-tsumu]

Now I’m super curious who would you ship ur mutuals with?

OHOOOO I love this! I decided to not be biased with their personal favorite characters so I'm gonna ship them with haikyuu characters I think would compliment them most. I hope I don't miss a mutual. Pls tell me if you can't understand Tagalog anon so I can translate some sentences.

Edit: Supposedly ipopost ko last week kaso ayun, nag mia me

@kerokenma x Tanaka. HAHAHAHAHHA THE POWER? THE CHAOS? Grabe. Iniisip ko palang, napapathink na ako. Like, parang, you know? Pero seryoso, I think their personalities would match. 'Yung magjowa sa room na parang barkada talaga.

@ricerice x Akaashi. Lois is literally pastel aesthetic for me. Their tandem would prolly be bookworm x bookworm? Yk, the aesthetic couple photos you see at Pinterest? Them.

@kozutenshi x Sugawara. Another aesthetic blog for me but like, Precious needs a little spice and Sugawara can supply that much very well! Like, pastel and crack at the same time.

@keitoshi x Tsukishima. IT'S ANO, MAKULIT X MASUNGIT TROPE FOR ME AND I THINK THAT'S CUTE HUHUHUH.

@churochuu x Asahi. Listen, I am up for Iwa/Kita and Chuu but p l e a s e. I love the AsahixChuu tandem. The uwu x uwu plus the huge height difference? 🥺 NDJSJSJSJSJ

@xxlightsaberxx x Tendou. I remember her randomly popping in my dms and LOLLLL THAT IS SO SO TENDOU. I can imagine them just, randomly popping at their friends' dms or smthng

@loubells x Sugawara. Because they both good friends vibes but at the same time, can be chaotic. They are the angel-demon couple of Karasuno lol

@lumpiang-toge x Kageyama. Both chaotic in different ways. I can see Yō making jokes pero babarahin ni Kags tapos babarahin ni Yō si Kags kasi mali sagot ni Kags tapos 'di na 'yan titigil, magbabangayan na 'yan whole day.

@mirakeul x Kenma. I think Bianca can use a confident but lowkey person and Kenma is the best candidate for that.

@kirakirasaku x Matsukawa. I feel like they both will vibe even if wholesome or nsfw ang topic HAHAHAHA. The cool magjowang Ate at Kuya sa org na pwedeng pwede mong lapitan if ever.

@gayerthanthee x Bokuto. Both crack but at the same time the pusher of each other. Kasi etong si Cas insecure minsan kahit ang perfect >=[[[ tapos etong si Bo madaling magtampo ayan maglambingan kayong dalawa.

@mjoork x Kita. IDK. Very wholesome si Meg so she deserves a very wholesome guy din. Yung magjowang willing tulungan yung barkadang umiiyak kasi binasted ganon.

@iwaesumi x Yamaguchi. ANOTHER WHOLESOME DUO holds hands gently sobs

@a-nonnie-mousse x Semi. Hehehe obsessed ako sa artist x musician? Huhuhu cute niyo. Yung magjowang talented tapos feeling ng iba (especially singles ha) abog lang sila sa Earth tuloy

@mellowknightcolorfarm x Oikawa. Maybe because and cultured ni Keziah? Ang daming fandom mami tapos feeling ko si Oikawa 'yung type na maalam sa internet because tambay siya sa soc meds. The type of magjowa na napaka-in ang lingo sa soc med.

I feel like I forgot some mutuals but I'll add them eventually!

[dickspeightjrs]

Hope (2.2k words)

sequel to Despair (I’d recommend reading that first, it’s only short)

Chuck had been defeated.

Cas was still gone. 

Those were the thoughts going through Dean’s head since the day they managed to remove Chuck from the universe for good. 

As usual for Dean, he kept on a front for the sake of Sam and Jack. He showed his relief at Chuck finally being gone, but in the privacy of his own thoughts, he was overwhelmed with a fresh onslaught of despair. 

The day Chuck died, everyone who he had taken appeared outside the bunker. It seemed as if Chuck had been playing with them like toys and dropped them as he met his demise in the warded bunker dungeon. 

Dean, Sam and Jack had stepped outside the sheltered door of the bunker to find a sea of people going on for what seemed like miles. Many of them were strangers who were innocent to the reason for their disappearance. But peppered around were also their friends and family. 

Bobby. Charlie. Donna. So many more. 

Only, as he scanned through the array of faces, Dean couldn’t help but be more and more disappointed that Castiel wasn’t among them. Why would he be? His death wasn’t anything to do with Chuck. Though it didn’t stop Dean hoping. 

It was a few days until everything settled again. 

The boys helped people return to their homes and tried to give them an explanation that wouldn’t be too traumatising. Sam had led the way - he seemed born for it, being a leader. His soft demeanour despite his towering height made people warm to him. Especially compared to Dean’s stormy face and body language. 

Jack still stayed quiet most of the time. Poor kid was taking Castiel’s death hard. Dean honestly regretted being so tough on him at times. He regretted saying Jack wasn’t family. He was. Of course he was. Castiel loved Jack like a son and that made Dean love him now too. 

There were times during the busyness of the bunker that Dean and Jack’s eyes would meet and he’d give Dean a look that told him that he was thinking of Cas too. That he missed him too. 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the people inhabiting the bunker were gone and it was left in a more calming silence. 

Donna and Charlie had just left together, both giving Dean an extra hard squeeze as they said goodbye. He knew what the hug was for and he was grateful neither of them had brought up Cas while they’d been there. Dean didn’t know how he would have reacted. 

Once the two women were out of sight, Dean hunched even further into himself and mumbled to Sam that he was going to bed. He didn’t care that it was the middle of the day. He was exhausted and needed refuge from his thoughts. 

Sam responded with a look of shock, which Dean wasn’t surprised by. Dean hadn’t slept properly - as properly as a hunter could anyway - since Cas died. Instead, he’d fall asleep in the library while he’d been looking through lore books. 

(Sam and Jack thought he’d been helping to look for ways to bring down Chuck but he’d actually been looking up anything that might even slightly mention the Empty. He’d thought he’d been secret about it until one day he woke up to find a new book on the table next to him, open to a chapter on a possible way to summon the Empty. Dean didn’t know who put it there, Sam or Jack, but he was grateful for their quiet support.) 

Dean trudged tiredly to his room. Truthfully, he’d been avoiding it ever since Cas died. It wasn’t even like they’d spent much time in there together but he couldn’t handle being alone in a space that was meant to bring him joy and comfort knowing that he’d never see Cas again. 

He’d never had the chance to feel the angel lying next to him and yet he missed it with his entire being. 

Dean’s head ached with a consistent, dull pain. It had been constant since he’d started visiting the woods to speak to Cas. He’d only been back there a couple of times but the night before they killed Chuck, Dean had vowed to Cas that he’d do it and get it right this time. He still looked around for any sign that Cas had heard him but there was nothing. Only the beginnings of a throbbing headache. 

Blinking slowly and shaking his head slightly to try to relieve the pain, Dean finally collapsed onto the bed and let sleep take him. 

Sleep started as a dreamless slumber but, at some point in the night, he felt that same pain again like a punch through his brain. It woke him up, panting and sweating, but when he sat up the pain was gone. And with no memory of what he could have been dreaming about, Dean lay there fighting the spindled fingers of sleep around his mind, determined that he’d never sleep again if it meant not having to feel that pain. 

Of course, it was impossible to maintain having no sleep, even for Dean Winchester - King of sleep deprivation. 

The minute Dean fell into a deep sleep he would be shocked back awake with a burning pain in his head. 

This continued for almost a week after Chuck’s death. Until one night, when Dean shot up in bed, sweat cooling on his skin, he remembered. 

He’d dreamt about the woodland clearing he’d been buried in when Cas had returned him from hell. The dream felt so real it was like he could smell, touch, taste the Earth around him as he ripped himself from the ground. 

Cursing his mind for adding to his never-ending torture, Dean left his room and got himself some coffee from the kitchen - determined not to let himself fall asleep again until he absolutely had to. 

Dean reached his breaking point a few days later. 

He’d been tired and irritable, snapping at Sam and Jack whenever they so much as looked at him. Knowing he couldn’t continue living like this, he let sleep take him once more, bracing himself for the inevitable pain. 

The pain came, but not before Dean saw fleeting images of the woodland again. Only this time, it was like he was a bird flying high above and he could see fallen tree trunks arranged in almost perfect circles. And in the centre was a figure, a person, hunched over on bent knees as if they were praying. 

The person moved to stand on their feet and as they were about to turn a white, burning heat coursed through Dean’s head. 

The pain didn’t shock Dean anymore but the recurring image of the hunched figure replayed in his mind. 

Dean thought what he’d been seeing in his dreams had been disjointed memories of the time he pulled himself out of that grave. But it couldn’t have been. There was never anyone else there when he’d risen to the surface. He’d walked for miles with no soul in sight. 

So who was this hunched figure? Why was Dean dreaming of them? 

And why was every fibre of Dean’s being telling him to get in his car and drive all night until he reached that very spot? 

Taking a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart, Dean climbed out of bed and shuffled to the kitchen. 

When he arrived he was surprised to see Sam sitting at the table with a pot of coffee, freshly brewed if the rolling steam coming off it was anything to go by. 

“What’re you doing here, Sammy?” Dean asked, taking a seat opposite his brother. 

Sam pushed a cup of coffee towards Dean. “Waiting for you.” 

“Okay… trying not to be creeped out that you’re sat waiting for me in the kitchen at 3AM…” Dean replied. 

Sam rolled his eyes. “I wanted to talk to you. You’ve been avoiding me and Jack for weeks now. And I noticed you come in here at night sometimes. So I took a chance tonight.” 

Curse his brother for knowing him so well.  

“I don’t know what to tell you, man.” Dean shrugged.

“How about the truth?”

Ha. There was no way Dean was ever telling Sam the truth. If nothing else, Cas deserved to be the first person Dean told about his feelings. And if he never got the chance to do that, well, the secret would die with Dean. 

But Dean really did want Sam’s opinion on the dreams he’d been having. Telling Sam about the dreams didn’t count as telling him the whole truth, did it? 

Dean cleared his throat. “I’ve been having these… dreams, I guess.” He sighed. “I just keep seeing the forest where Cas left me when he raised me from hell. But it’s not a memory because it’s like I'm seeing it from above and there’s this person there.” 

Sam nodded, encouraging Dean to continue. 

“I don’t know if I’m just going crazy but it feels real. Like something deep inside me is telling me that this is important.” Dean avoided Sam’s gaze. “And I get these pains in my head, it’s fucking agony.” 

After a few moments of silence, Dean raised his head to meet Sam’s eyes. 

They held nothing but warmth for his older brother. 

“Look, Dean, I know you haven’t told me and Jack the whole truth of what happened when Cas d-, when he left, but I know more than anyone what it’s like to lose someone you love.” 

Dean felt all the blood in his body rush to his face.

“Come on, Dean. You can’t be surprised that I know how you feel about Cas. Anyone who has ever seen you two together knows that you’d tear apart the Earth for each other.” Sam stated, simply.

Suddenly, Dean felt like he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t deal with this knowledge that apparently everyone had known about his and Cas’ mutual feelings before they even did. 

He got up from the table and stalked to the door, trying to stop his hands from shaking. 

Sam just let him go but just as Dean was about to escape to the quiet of his room, he spoke up. 

“Dean?” Sam asked, waiting for Dean’s attention to turn back on him. “Those dreams you’ve been having? I don’t know if it’s the same but I just know that I thought the visions I had of Jess were just dreams and I’d hate for you to make the same mistakes I did.” 

Dean swallowed and nodded once at Sam before exiting to his bedroom. 

Within the hour he was hurtling along the highway in the Impala. 

*  *  * 

Dean’s skin tingled with electricity as he approached the clearing. He hadn’t been back here since that day all those years ago. 

He didn’t know what he hoped to find. For the entire journey there, he’d second guessed himself a million times but ultimately he had to know. 

He had to know if he was simply going crazy or if this was some kind of sign of something else at work. 

Finally, he made it to the large expanse of fallen trees. The electricity running through his veins increased as he spotted a figure sat in the dead centre, curled in on itself. 

His heart raced to a speed he would surely die from but Dean kept carefully placing one slow foot in front of the other. 

Until he heard a crack under his foot. 

He looked down to see that he’d stepped on a twig, which snapped under the pressure, sending a ripple of sound across the clearing. 

The hunched figure went ramrod straight where they were. 

Dean swallowed and continued walking ahead. 

Only, he was stopped in his tracks when the figure turned, a slow agonising turn. 

Dean felt sick. He’d come this far thinking, hoping, praying that this would somehow be something that led him back to Cas. But what if he had come all this way only to be disappointed? He didn’t think he could handle the heartbreak. 

Taking a deep breath, Dean closed his eyes and stayed rooted to the spot. 

“Dean?” 

Dean felt euphoria storm through his every atom. 

He opened his eyes and was met with the sight of Castiel, angel of the lord, standing in the middle of fallen trees, staring back at Dean like he can’t quite believe what he’s seeing. 

Wasting no more time, Dean broke into a sprint, running faster than he was sure he’d ever done before. 

Self-doubt tried to battle its way through, telling him that this was a trick. Castiel couldn’t possibly be back. But he ignored it. 

Dean could have been running into the arms of a devil in disguise and he’d still do it just to have one second in Castiel’s embrace. 

When he reached Cas he pulled the angel as close to his body as could be physically possible. 

“Dean.” Castiel spoke again. And, god, Dean could have cried hearing his name come from the lips of his beloved once again. “Dean. I’m sorry.”

“Cas,” Dean interrupted, still holding Cas tight in his arms. “It’s okay. You don’t have to be sorry.” 

“I just didn’t know what else to do.” Castiel sobbed against Dean’s shoulder.

“I don’t care. I don’t care.” Dean said, sternly, gripping Castiel against him. “I could barely let myself hope that those dreams were you, Cas. You have no idea how fucking happy I am right now.” 

Castiel pulled away from Dean slightly to look him in the eyes. “I couldn’t find any other way to find you Dean. I wasn’t even sure you’d still be alive. I used the last of my powers to project myself into you. I didn’t truly know if it would work but I hoped.” Tears poured down his face. “Coming back here was the only place I knew that you’d recognise was ours.”

“It’s okay, Cas. It’s okay. I’m here now. And neither of us are going anywhere without the other again.”

Castiel nodded and smiled, placing a delicate hand to Dean’s cheek. “Is it too much to hope that this means I was wrong, and you do actually return my feelings?” 

A laugh ripped through Dean in a way that it hadn’t in years, even before Cas had been taken by the empty. “Castiel, angel of the lord, ever since you saved me from hell, I’ve never been the same. You changed me. And I am hopelessly and completely in love with you.” 

Not letting a second more go to waste, Dean didn’t wait for a response from Cas. He pulled the angel into a deep kiss that he hoped told Castiel everything that there weren’t enough words in the world to say. 

(Tag list below - if you’d like to be added or removed, let me know!)

@rambleoncas @eccentriccas @joharvele @tearsofgrace @starrynightdeancas @aurastiel @dreamnovak @good-things-do-happen-dean @ccstiel @destielle @cas-you-assbutt-dean-needs-you @bend-me-shape-me

@thechaosthatismybrain @rusted-peopleskills @castiel-enthusiast @wheniwrite28 @fandomsofafeather @ripreptaytion @yahfancyclamwiththepurlinside @writtenmemxries @gum-believable @breathingdestiel @squintingg

@thefourthheadofcerberus @professorerudite @harmonyhelms @babyinabelstaf @monipotty @tinyroolove7

[ri-ahhh]

Ooooh but like what if it's gray getting jealous and a teeny but insecure too when MJ mentions some of her work mates and other close guy friends w whom she hangs out and drinks and parties yk?And when he finally meets them he might not be able to get some inside jokes or be pissy on how touchy one of her guy bffs is?!And just goes like"baby am I too young for you?"🥺maybe some cute fluff and hot makeup sex?? ;p Sorry if this too much or straight up lame It's cool if you don't wanna concept this

Ok, first of all, I love this. Second, this is my first MJ concept and I’m soft af🥺

If there’s one personality trait Grayson Dolan wouldn't normally attribute to himself, it’s that of being easily jealous. Why would he be? His life, despite it’s occasional heavy downs, is relatively picturesque in the grand scheme of things. He’s got a loving family, an amazing career, a beautiful girlfriend, and he’s narcissistic enough to proudly say he’s a good-looking dude.

But the little green monster first starts to stir in chest when said beautiful girlfriend lays back on his chest one morning, scrolling through Instagram while the two of them laze in bed. MJ is looking through the pictures she had been tagged in at a company dinner the night before, double-tapping her phone screen occasionally and diverting his attention away from his own phone when she does.

“Who’s that?” he asks, trying to sound as casual as possible as he eyes a certain picture with slightly narrowed eyes.

“Hm?” MJ had already scrolled down to the next photo, but she goes back to the one in question. Grayson points to the guy standing next to her. “Oh. That’s Jesse. He’s one of my teammates.”

Grayson doesn't respond right away, his gaze focused on the way the attractive young man has his arm wrapped tightly around MJ’s waist in the group photo. MJ is leaning away from him, but it still gives him a bad vibe — not from her, but from him.

“He looks friendly.”

MJ glances up at him and slaps the other side of his bare chest with the back of her hand jokingly. “Relax, we all had to squeeze in to get the picture. He’s just a colleague.”

“Yeah, to you,” Grayson mumbles. He tosses down his phone and turns on his side so he can throw his arm over her middle, nuzzling into her hair.

MJ smiles and scratches her nails up and down his sculpted arm, his warm breath tickling her ear. He’s not really the possessive type, too confident in himself and trustworthy in her for this to have ever been an issue in their relationship, but her work world is one entirely separate from him. She doesn’t think it’s too irrational for him to be suspicious, especially since she can admit feeling a little iffy about the way Jesse had so easily sidled up to her for that photo.

She shifts her head on the pillow so she’s facing him, kissing his lips softly but soundly. It’s an unspoken reassurance between them, and they both let the topic go.

A few days later, they’re in the kitchen together, a pass only she is allowed while Grayson cooks. MJ sits on the island, her feet dangling over the cabinets as Grayson stirs the vegetables he’s sautéing on the stove, when her phone buzzes on the marble countertop beside her. She picks it up and chuckles, her manicured fingers typing away.

“What’s so funny?” Grayson asks nosily.

MJ hits ‘send’ in the text response she wrote. “Jesse sent a stupid meme that reminded him of this super difficult exec we have to deal with for one of our clients.” She holds up her phone so Grayson can see it, but without the further context he doesn’t really see the humor in it. It causes a weird sensation to bubble in his stomach, one he can’t quite place, but it definitely makes him give the veggies an extra vigorous stir that has some of them flying out of the pan on accident.

He draws the line on this guy in his head when MJ sends him a text the next afternoon while he’s in a Wakeheart meeting downtown, just a few blocks from her office.

ugh baby i’m so sorry i have to cancel our lunch date :/ jesse wants to keep working on this report we have due this afternoon and i’ll look like a dick if i leave.

Grayson huffs and feels the back of his neck flush with anger. Why is Jesse controlling whether or not she can take her lunch break? She has a habit of skipping it to begin with, which Grayson can’t stand and actively tries to make sure she doesn’t do, so his irritation with this dude is through the roof now. His mind can’t help but wander to the possibility that maybe Jesse is doing it on purpose; he knows for a fact all of her coworkers know about him, so who’s to say he’s not trying to keep her to himself today? Before he can type out a heated response, however, MJ double-texts.

i promise I’ll make it up to you tonight. whatever you want, on me. literally and figuratively ;)

She knows him too well, can probably sense his frustration a few streets away. Grayson sighs, but his mouth lifts in a little smile, because he loves her and he’s low-key looking forward to that promise now.

Alright. I’ll be thinking about that to get me through this meeting. Pls eat tho baby, it makes me worry when you don’t.

me too lol. and gonna order some kreation now, don’t worry. ily

She punctuates her message with a few heart emojis, and Grayson returns the sentiment before pocketing his phone once more. His mind is far from the financial projections he’s supposed to be paying attention to, but luckily this is much more Ethan’s territory in the business than his, anyways.

Friday, he and MJ are cuddling on the couch watching a movie when out of nowhere she gasps a little and sits up from where she’s leaning on him. “Oh, I almost forgot to ask. You and E doing anything tomorrow?”

Grayson chuckles and shakes his head, amused by the suddenness of her question. He pushes a lock of her hair, damp from their shared shower, behind her ear. “Not that I know of, other than we might go to the skatepark.”

MJ grins. “Well, my boss is making us do our monthly team-building workshop at a climbing gym, if you want to tag along. I don’t think you’ll be able to join us during the middle of it, obviously, but afterwards it would give you the chance to meet some of the people I work with, if you want.”

He considers it. He hasn’t been climbing in a while, and he’s actually been itching to get back into it. Not to mention, it’ll give him a chance to keep an eye on Jesse while he’s around MJ in the skin-tight lycra she wears to work out in.

“Yeah, I’m down. I’ll ask E if he wants to come, too.”

The next day, the three of them roll up to the gym in Ethan’s Tesla. Grayson wastes no time in taking MJ’s hand in his as they walk through the parking lot, just in case a certain set of eyes are watching. MJ squeezes his fingers reassuringly; she’s not dumb, not impervious to the fact that when he kisses her goodbye once they step inside and before they go their separate ways that he had caught a glimpse of the man from the picture that put his guard up to begin with.

When he pulls back but makes no move to join Ethan on the other side of the gym, MJ shakes her head with a grin and cups his cheek softly.

“No need to stake your claim, Neanderthal,” she says.

He looks down at her with a pout that makes her heart and her panties melt. His wide hands plant themselves on her hips and tug her a little closer to him, anyways. “Am I being obvious?” he asks.

“Only to me,” she winks, rising on her toes to give him one more chaste kiss. “Now go with E, before Chanel gets here and I have to reverse the roles.”

Grayson laughs but does as he’s told, giving her waist a gentle squeeze before they part ways. MJ’s company had rented half of the gym, which was roped off for them. He chooses the open wall closest to the one they're using, eager to keep his girlfriend as nearby as possible for the couple of hours they would be separated.

As he sits on a bench and slips on his climbing shoes, Grayson can’t help but search out where Jesse is. He’s easy to spot, that’s for sure. Not only is he already next to MJ, chatting animatedly while she smiles and nods politely in return, but he stands out with his curly mop of hair, caramel-colored skin, and pale blue eyes. Maybe his attractiveness is part of the reason Grayson is somewhat intimidated by his obvious interest in MJ, but he’s also part of her everyday life, one he knows nothing about other than what she shares with him.

It’s never been something that bothers him, because it’s healthy to have a life outside of a relationship, but he’s always dated — hooked up, whatever you want to call it — in his industry. There was always a mutual understanding of what work and life in general entailed with those flings, and it’s taken Jesse for him to suddenly realize he doesn’t have the experience or the knowledge of how to handle his feelings with that not being the case with MJ. It makes him feel out of control, not good enough somehow.

Grayson Dolan does not like to be out of control and he most certainly does not like being below his own standards.

“Who’s that?”

Grayson is brought out of his daze by his brother’s voice and the hand he had clapped to his shoulder. If he were able to laugh at himself in this moment, he might have found Ethan’s question funny, since it was exactly what he’d said when he first saw Jesse, too. Ethan’s gaze is fixed on MJ and the man in question, who had placed his hand on her elbow as he talked only for MJ to duck down to ‘tie her shoe.’

“Jesse,” is all he says, standing up to buckle his chalk belt around his waist.

“Oh,” Ethan replies, nodding his head a little. “Do we like him?”

“Nope.”

“Cool.”

Ethan becomes another set of eyes for Grayson while they climb, giving him nudges or a little whistle every time he catches Jesse standing a little too close to MJ, or finding a reason to touch her, or to ‘help’ her as she climbs up the wall. Grayson glowers over every time, trying his best but probably failing to not to come off as the jealous boyfriend. Every once in a while MJ will catch his eyes, giving him a quick wave or a thumbs-up with a pretty smile just for him. It makes his heart settle some, only for his chest to tighten again when Jesse starts cheering for her a little too loud.

The two hours pass by a little faster as he settles into the rhythm of climbing, trying to put her touchy coworker in the back of his mind. He trusts MJ with everything in him, but he knows how men can be — ignorant either by choice or by idiocy to a woman’s obvious signals of disinterest.

“Gray!”

He’s just reached the top of the wall when his girlfriend’s voice cuts clear through the loud chatter around them. He looks down and sees her on the mat, hair pulled back in a cute high ponytail, freckled cheeks flushed from the exertion of the day, as she waves him down with that same bright smile.

He grins, excited to have her to himself once again. “One sec!”

Once he’s made it back down the wall, he greets her with a kiss. She’s tied her jacket around her waist, leaving her top half covered only by a pretty green sports bra that happens to be both his favorite color and one that makes her eyes pop beautifully.

“I like this,” he says suggestively, hooking his finger in one of the straps and tugging gently.

MJ rolls her eyes and reaches up to adjust the center of the Wakeheart cap he’s got backwards over his hair. “Come on. You can meet the idiots I have to put up with every day.”

She leads him to the group, who are all standing around chatting, gulping down water, gathering keys and such as they prepare to leave. He gets introduced to them a couple at a time. Some of them he recognizes by name, such as Valentina and Jude (both of whom MJ actually likes and considers friends), MJ’s intern Alessia, and Chanel, of course, who bats her eyes so obnoxiously it’s almost comical.

And then there’s Jesse, who’s immediately sizing Grayson up with those striking eyes as soon as they approach him standing in the corner on his phone. Grayson doesn’t back down in the slightest, a smirk fixing itself on his lips when MJ leans into him and wraps her arm around his back. He drapes his own over her shoulders, pulling her that much closer to him.

“Hey Jess. This is the famous boyfriend I’ve told you all about,” she introduces, patting a hand on his hard stomach and smiling up at him for a moment.

Grayson lets go of MJ long enough to extend his hand. “Grayson.”

Jesse accepts and shakes his hand politely. “Jesse. MJ and I are teammates.”

“So I’ve heard,” he says, keeping a tight smile on his face as Jesse continues to square up to him, like Grayson has posed some kind of challenge.

Jesse nods, a grin of his own popping up as he gets the idea that MJ has maybe talked about him before. Grayson wants to roll his eyes, but he stays trying to be the bigger person here.

“So what do you do, Grayson?” Jesse asks.

Another hot flash overcomes him. He’s heard the question often enough to know there are two ways people ask it: innocently and genuinely; or knowingly and almost maliciously, like Jesse is now, waiting for him to say the ‘i’ word and berate him for it passive-aggressively.

MJ tightens her arm around him some, and it calms him down enough to answer with an even tone. “I do social media.”

“That’s just the tip of the iceberg, though,” MJ steps in for him with a grin. “He and his brother have a whole production team under them. And they're CEO’s and part-owners of a fragrance company, Wakeheart. I think I’ve told you, whenever you compliment my perfume, that it’s Grayson’s, right?”

She’s incredible, really. Grayson smiles and shows off the diamonds in his teeth, which glint in the harsh artificial light. “Well, Jesse, if you like MJ’s perfume so much, I’d be glad to send you our whole collection. Maybe you’ll find one that’s right for you.”

He can see Jesse’s resolve start to waver, especially when MJ stands on her toes to kiss Grayson’s stubbled cheek. “Very generous, huh Jesse?”

Jesse clears his throat and digs his keys out of his pocket tellingly. “Ah, yeah. Thanks, man, good to meet you. See you Monday, MJ.”

He brushes past the couple without another glance, and he at least has the decency to blush a little from embarrassment. MJ turns and wraps her arms around Grayson’s middle, staring up at him with big green eyes that sparkle with amusement.

“Do you think he got the picture that I’m completely, totally, head over heels in love with you?” she asks, swaying slightly as he wraps his arms around her as well. “And that he has no chance in this universe whatsoever?”

“I don’t know, I feel like you could’ve laid it on a little thicker. Hyped me up a bit more,” Grayson jokes, dipping down to brush her lips with his. A blonde statue glares at the pair of them when he pulls back and glances over MJ’s head. “Chanel is staring daggers at us. Should we make out right here so she can see how I feel the same about you?”

MJ giggles and shakes her head. “Unfortunately, nothing will faze that bitch.” She nuzzles his nose with hers affectionately, the chaste display a perfect disguise for the dirty whispers that comes out of her mouth next. “Mm, my CEO boyfriend can take me home, though, and fuck me nice and hard in the shower.”

Grayson’s eyes turn a shade darker, and he bites his plump lower lip. He wants to slip his hands down to her ass, but he’s also very aware of how public they are right now. “If we even make it to the shower,” he murmurs.

MJ scrunches her nose and raises her brow in a look of mild disgust. “Gray, if you think I’m sucking your dick after it’s been in a cup for nearly three hours, without you taking a shower, you better think again. I don’t think even Chanel is down for that.”

Grayson lets out a belly laugh and releases her, taking her by the hand instead to go find Ethan. “Noted, baby. Noted.”

[flowerflamestars]

Darlingg, (can I call you that? I'll stop if you don't want me to) have you seen the latest sneak peak? With Eris and all? I crave your thoughts on the sneak peak and I honestly have no idea what to think about it

Hi!! I have, and let me say, my feelings are mixed.

You know that sound, when you’re in a coffeeshop, and the espresso machine expunges steam? Like a muted, nicer, kettle shriek? That’s the noise my brain made seeing the sneak peek.

List, because it sparked a whole wildfire:

1. Nesta glowing!! Nesta dancing! Nesta, who conquered Death! Just the implication that she’s okay, that she’s feeling strong again? Hope, reignited. 

2. Cassian on the sidelines actually makes me...very happy? I want them together eventually, but the fact he’s just watching? So good. So, deserved? He can’t go from creepily following her, telling her she’s unlovable, being complicit in her banishment to Partner. He’s got to earn it, and frankly? I hope it aches.

3. Autumn. When the cover came out there was that whole, orange = autumn court thing? The other covers in that style aren’t super plot indicative, but it did seem weird that it wasn’t red.  Repeatedly, red is Cassian’s color. (Hello, love triangle Morrigan wearing nothing but the color of his siphons and power, never, ever Azriel’s blue or black). 

Nesta sticks to cool colors: purple (feeling strong as a mortal, going toe to toe with Cas), blue, black (severe and powerful against the high lords), flat grey (in the depths of misery), silver (for her power).

SJM does use consistent color for character cues in acotar so it seems...off? Interesting, at least. 

Which, just to divert into setting, are they in Autumn in this scene?? Are we somehow going to go from banishment > fight/healing > Nesta, being the actual Night Court emissary after they threw her away?

The plot is not what I thought, and that is both intriguing and confounding. But yes! Nesta finally...doing a thing? hopefully of her own volition? Devouring the moon? Gimme, that’s the Nesta that was always there, finally out.

4. Eris. 

Okay, so before I even talk about how I..don’t really care for this character, let’s recall what is actually canon, about Eris: 

He was engaged to Morrigan. They...I think, never met before that? Mor tried to escape the betrothal by sleeping with Cassian, invoking the ire of her family who brutally tortured her and left her for dead with a note NAILED to her body on Autumn land.

From canon, with specificity that I think implies some kind of understood rules between Courts: Eris did not touch her. 

We seem to be meant to understand that if he had, he would have been forced to take her in, to bring her into the Autumn Court. He doesn’t do that- which is perhaps both a single moment of kindness that kept them both from being trapped and, conversely, QUITE LITERALLY, leaving her for dead.

He was aware of, if not directly involved in, the death of Lucien’s lowborn lover. There’s some handwavy detail stuff over who did the the murdering, but Lucien seems to hate him for it and the feeling is definitely mutual. We don’t know what he actually did.

He wants Beron’s throne. He’s not??? Heir?? (there seems to be some sense that since Lucien was the most powerful it was feared he’d inherit because Lordship = magical destiny) But he also seems fairly sure that with proper allies and Beron dead he could seize control? We don’t know enough for this to make sense.

What we DO know is that he hates his father. Sound familiar? 

He’s on his second round of alliances with Keir, and now assured by Rhys, to come after Beron. (Which makes the Morrigan marriage thing even more suspect. If shes ‘the most powerful of her bloodline’ how does marrying her out benefit Keir? If Eris just wanted her power, why did he reject the marriage? My nascent theory is switchroo? Keir helps Eris take Autumn, Autumn helps Keir reclaim Night for his bloodline. Mutual heirs inherit two newly crowned kingdoms...so again, WHY did Eris not want Mor?)

He’s a bastard, a villain, a fucking rat...and we actually know nothing about him. HMMM?

He’s the monster in Morrigans nightmares. Because she saw him, when he found in the forest, and watched him leave? Because marrying him meant, in a very real way, doom? He makes it easy: he’s rude as hell to her, and clearly despises her right back for ??? reasons.

It would have been SO SO easy to leave him there, the monstrous asshole son of a particularly monstrous, hated High Lord. 

But the books keep bringing him back. Rhys is willing to make deals with him. Our entire main cast is now tied in with an Autumn coup in the making. 

Why?

Because sjm loves nothing more than taking a bad, bad man, and cracking him open like a walnut to say: look, I’m a monster. I know I’m a monster. But I did it to survive. For love. For a just cause. Because a greater power made me and I wanted to live.

And it’s echoed by a female character going: no, you are, but I see you.

And wiping it all away, even if the bad actions continue, because it was a Mask. A Game. See: Rhysand. Tamlins shitty forgiveness plotline. Az and Cassian’s Court of Nightmares cosplay. 

And Eris just...is not the character I’d have ever picked for redemption? (Or fucking Tamlin, for that matter) Because a weird thing happens where male asshole characters are Redeemed Through the Gaze of Love feat. inappropriate flirting and female characters who aren’t nice (not even villians! just, you know, not nice), need to apologize. To change.

Yes, I’m talking about Nesta. Because this is her book!

It’s a wildcard, but retrospectively, it’s set up in the text? Not my fav. At all. 

When we all said hey, wouldn’t it be really, really good if Nesta had a friend separate from the IC, maybe from another court? We did not mean the catchall IC boogeymen everyone maybe? justifiably wants dead. 

5. Canon outside canon. Sjm has been previously, totally open with the fact that in the original/early drafts, Nesta was actually meant for Lucien. See: the fire on her drawer. She’s always been interested in an Autumn matchup for Nesta.

We know that the villain of Nesta’s story is the Queens. 

Does Eris come in because of Lucien, who is spending all his time, hey, with one of the only Queens who isn’t evil? Does Nesta get dragged into the coup? Does Nesta involve herself in the coup because there was some question as to whether Beron might have been colluding with Hybern + ish the Mortal Queens?

6. Guys, I love a ball scene. I love this simple show of power and grace- does Nesta trust Eris or does Nesta simply, finally, trust herself? Either way, she’s killing it, and it is FUCKING CASSIAN UP. This who we always knew existed- Nesta who can play the game. Who can do the courtly bullshit, even if she has no time for it. Who is beautiful and powerful, and I hope, wearing the Most Incredible Dress. (I hope it isn’t red).

The more I think about it, the more these Nesta, Eris lines in the text revoltingly add up? Ugh. The Older Vilified Sibling who was doing their one Rebellion Against the Shitty Parent, misconstrued. Team: wow, Mor Hates Us, huh?. Team: You don’t know me, or what I’ve done. Everything We Did in War retroactively Doesn’t Matter Because We’re Assholes. Fire and Brimstone. Maybe we were fucking trapped and You Don’t Get to Judge the Escape.

Cool cool cool, I kind of hate that. Please let it be a spite dance.

In sum: the snippet both wildly renewed my interest and also I keep going ERIS?? ERIS?, but maybe it won’t be as bad as it seems. It is, after all, a very short little section and it proved at least once thing: Nesta’s going to be strong again, seemingly healthy again, and that’s all I wanted. 

p.s. (Darling is the nicest, of course you can. I call everyone kind of any iteration of ‘lovely’ or babe’, but if that ever makes you uncomfy let me know!)