#both are so lovely �� i love the curl to my hair !!! i sleep with my hair in those heatless curl rods — so they always tend to be wavier at
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trouble sleeping
synopsis: you're having a hard time sleeping and spencer helps you
pairing: spencer reid x reader
warnings: SMUT 18+, fingering, implied insomnia, praise kink
notes: short <w.c 1000 | ib: natt-ice's p-link | divider by lavendergalactic
main masterlist | criminal minds masterlist
Sheets ruffling. Bed moving. Annoyed groans.
The gentle rustling noises behind him woke Spencer. He was startled out of his half-slumber by the little shuffle of movement and the rustle of blankets. With a sleepy blink, he rolled over and watched you squirming around to find a comfortable position. You shifted the pillows with a groan and fidgeted under the blankets, clearly frustrated.
"Hey, why are you still awake?" Spencer murmured, his voice thick with sleep as he propped himself up on one elbow. His body was now fully facing yours, eyes tracing the silhouette of your restless form in the dim light.
You mumbled, "I can't sleep," in a frustrated tone. "God, this is so annoying!" You pushed a cushion beneath your legs in an attempt to relieve some of the pain after yanking another pillow from the head of the bed but still no avail.
Spencer didn’t immediately respond. He just watched you, his gaze lingering on the frustration playing across your features. A soft scoff slipped from his lips, barely audible.
You let out a low groan as you shifted once more, desperate for some relief. The bed felt too warm, too cold, the sheets too tight, or too loose—nothing felt right. "Fuck this," you muttered, the words a bitter release, your head sinking into the pillow in exasperation.
After a few minutes of your boyfriend watching you suffer, he spoke up. "I have an idea. Statistics shows that you can sleep immediately after you exercise."
"Exercise?" your head rise a bit, looking at him questionably with the smirk that's planted in his face. "What exercise are you exactly talking about?"
Spencer smirked, perhaps enjoying the moment, but he didn't respond. He suddenly grasped your face with his palm, his thumb gliding over your cheek, his lips pressing softly but passionately against yours. Before you could fully comprehend what was happening, a breathless "oh" escaped your lips as a wave of warmth swept through you. You immediately put your arms around his neck and drew him in, kissing him more deeply as you both got caught up in the intimacy and the outside world faded.
"Mhm—" you let out a moan as his tongue worked with yours. Your fingers made its way to his hair, curling it in pleasure and then to his topless back.
The kiss was full of love, closeness, and lust. Spencer's lips pressed against yours, a mix of urgency and tenderness that sent shivers down your spine. As he deepened the kiss, his fingers began their slow, deliberate journey from your neck, trailing down to your stomach, exploring the soft curves of your body.
"May I?" Spencer asked softly as his hand rested on your shirt. You nodded in response and Spencer didn't hesitate to remove your t-shirt, leaving your bare chest exposed. He smiled at the sight before kissing you again.
"Spence.." you whispered. "Mhm—"
"Yes, baby?" he said in between kisses but you just moaned in response. "I need you to use your words, baby."
Your eyes pleaded, thighs shaking. "Need you, please.." you cried.
Spencer chuckled, bringing his fingers down to your white-laced panties before removing them slowly. His index finger rolled down to your sensitive clit, drawing figure of eights.
"Spencer— aah," you moaned, holding his upper arm tightly as you felt pleasure slowly waving towards you.
"So wet.. and sensitive, my love," he cooed.
As he slowly inserted a finger inside of you, you let out a gasp that echoed the shock and joy that filled your body. As the world around you seemed to melt away, your head sank back, giving in to the waves of pleasure that swept over you. Even though it was only a finger, it lit a fire inside of you. You spread your legs wider as he added another digit, pumping it in and out in a slow but steady pace. He held you tightly, your head resting on his other arm as he finger fucked you.
After a few more, Spencer's pace speeded up, hitting that spongy spot that made your back arch. "Aah— Spence—Fuck! Yes, yes, yes—" you chanted his name like a damn saint as you started to see stars when you closed your eyes.
"You like that, yeah?"
"Yes, Spen— aah!"
As he pumped in deeper, his lips catched yours. You kissed him back with full force while moaning in between kisses. The pleasure was overflowing.. and so was you.
Your core ached and clenched on Spencer's slenders. A familiar feeling coiled up your lower stomach, causing you to fully shot your eyes down and moan like crazy. Your legs shaked as his pace was getting harsher.
"I'm close," you ached.
"It's alright, baby," Spencer smiled as he purposely hit his palm on your clit. "I'm here, mhm? Cum on my fingers. Can you do that for me?"
After a few more, you came. His fingers were stained with your juices. You panted like a crazy madman as your legs collapsed.
Spencer pulled his fingers out and focused his eyes on you. Smiling, he kissed you again but this time, passionately.
"Remind me how that can make me fall asleep quickly?" you asked with a tired but satisfied sigh.
"Your body releases hormones like dopamine and oxytocin. They're responsible for making you feel less stressed, more comfortable, and can actually help you sleep. There's a saying, "It's the only sleeping pill with no side effects."
Spencer pulled the comforter up and tucked you in, smiling. "Thanks, Spence," you whispered as you kissed him on his cheek.
"Anytime, princess," he replied before the two of you dozed off, hugging each other tightly.
The next few days, you started to use this excuse on Spencer to get that pleasure that you want.
#x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds smut#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid smut#matthew gray gubler#gublernation#matthew gray gubler x reader#matthew gray gubler smut
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Sweet Dreams
ALRIGHT this is another one to blame the server for. Some context - this is a bit of a combo of AUs I've seen with my own hcs thrown in. Apologies for the exposition (again).
Title: Sweet Dreams
WC: 1495w
Summary: Life is good in Zaun. Great, even. A normal night turns into something a little sillier.
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It had been over a year since Jayce and Viktor were consumed by the Arcane. In their world life went on, Jayce was grieved, and Viktor was forgotten - those that did remember him could only hold onto the memory of what he became. Piltover grew, completely unbeknownst of a universe just a little to the left, where two men thrived.
The two inventors had set up a repair shop they shared, working out of Zaun. Between them they had developed a filtration system to clean the air that went completely unknown by Piltover, and the Zaunites were happy to keep it that way. Neither were untouched by their experience though. Jayce used a brace more often than not to help with his leg that never healed, and the white fingerprints on his forehead had faded greatly but would never leave.
The Arcane did not want to let go of Viktor that easily, but it seemed to have been decently kind with it. When they landed in a field on the outskirts of the city, Viktor was trapped switching between two forms: his Herald, as they called it, and his human body. It fucking hurt, but settled down and eventually he was able to switch between forms at will. The markings that once covered him like Jayce also faded into pale lavender streaks on his skin, and his lungs no longer gave him grief. He still dealt with pain in his leg, but that was par for the course at this point.
(He also kept his hair long, because he knew Jayce liked it)
(Jayce also kept his beard, because he knew Viktor liked it)
The day had been good - people had come to them with problems ranging from malfunctioning prosthetics to broken toys, all of which had been fixable within an hour. Jayce always sent the toy repairs to Viktor as he was a little better with the fiddly equipment and children seemed to flock to the man. Plus it was very funny watching Viktor figure out what to do with small children.
Viktor wandered into the bedroom in sleep pants with some sweetmilk while Jayce laid in bed and stared directly at the ceiling, eyes open and brow furrowed.
“Jayce, what are you thinking about?” Viktor asked, recognising the look.
“Hmm? Oh. Prosthetic pneumatics. Was I doing the thing where I look like a concerned corpse?” Jayce frowned and Viktor laughed, sitting next to him.
“You were. And you need to stop thinking about work in your downtime.”
“Look who’s talking.”
Viktor tipped his head in agreement. “A fair point. Still, I can’t use you as a pillow if you have gone rigor mortis on me.”
Jayce sputtered a protest at the comparison but raised an arm so Viktor could settle in beside him, which he did. The two read in the quiet together, Jayce gently carding his fingers through Viktor’s hair until a low rumbling noise came from his chest. That had been another discovery made after a few months of switching forms - there were hangovers between each one. The Herald could make a mechanical rumbling noise similar to a purr when content and that carried over to Viktor as well, although with a more organic and quiet sound. Jayce loved that he could tell when his partner was happy and teased him for the cat-like tendency at any opportunity. Not this time though, as he was starting to drift off and couldn’t really be bothered starting a quip-war.
It only took another ten minutes for both of them to put down their books and curl up to drift off together.
…
There was something on his side, and it felt weird. No, there was something on his side, and it tickled. Jayce’s brain woke up in increments at an unholy hour, half aware of something going on on his right side. The feeling moved up higher and he gasped, almost jerking as it brushed under his armpit. He looked to the side to find Viktor, seemingly fast asleep with his hands on Jayce’s torso. They weren’t doing much, just wandering and teasing, but it was enough that Jayce was trying to hold back giggles. He tried gently removing his hands but they came back stronger and more intently, poking into his ribs now.
“Vik, cut it out!” Jayce asked quietly, but it did nothing. He came to the slow realisation that his partner was indeed completely asleep, and obviously having a pretty stupid dream. Viktor still had trouble sleeping and Jayce was not going to be the one to interrupt a good night's rest so he steeled himself to endure the touches, trying to move as little as possible.
This proved to be a challenge. Being asleep, Viktor’s onslaught wasn’t nearly as bad as it was when he was awake but the ghosting of fingers on his sides and belly had him trying desperately not to squirm away and laugh. When both Viktor’s hands started spidering into his armpits it took every bit of self control not to slam his arms down. He couldn’t help but let out a high pitched squeal, after which he immediately checked to make sure Viktor was still asleep.
Jayce endured this feathery, tickly torture without jostling too much for an impressive amount of time. He was strangely proud of himself for holding out against Viktor’s fingers squeezing his stomach at all. One of Viktor’s hands suddenly moved up the back of his sides with precision too exact to belong to a sleeping person, and the fact finally clicked in Jayce’s brain.
“Viktor Talis. Are you awake?” He asked, eyes on Viktor’s face. There was almost no indication he had heard him. Almost. Jayce caught the corners of his mouth twitch upwards, and he knew he’d been had.
“Oh my gods, you little shit you’re going to pay for that!” Jayce threatened, jumping up and pinning Viktor’s arms to the bed. Viktor was wide awake now and grinning at him. He opened his mouth and Jayce shook his head.
“Nope, the only way you’re getting a word in is if you’re laughing.”
With that Jayce let go of Viktor’s arms, pulled back the covers, and squished his hands on either side of Viktor’s stomach. Viktor had half a second to prepare himself before Jayce started munching on his tummy, blowing raspberries all over the place and very ticklishly gnawing on his skin. His first reaction was to nearly shriek before laughing harder than he ever had at Jayce’s nibbling all over. Jayce’s hands got to work too, making sure Viktor’s belly was in the tickle target zone while squeezing and kneading into his sides and lower ribs.
“JAHAYCE! Noho fair!”
“Mmm, tasty!” Jayce teased, nuzzling his beard into Viktor’s stomach and making om nom noises after he spoke. He knew this tickled like absolute hell, and by Viktor’s kicking and cackling he could tell it was working. Pressing kisses and gently using his teeth to scrape across the sensitive skin was driving Viktor wild in new and exciting ways, so Jayce decided on a new game - trace over Viktor’s Arcane markings with his lips and tongue. This made Viktor’s pleading turn into gibberish, eliciting a screech when Jayce’s tongue dipped into his navel.
“Nohohohononoo! Thahat’s ahawful!”
“Oh, would you like to tell me where it tickles the most? We could make an experiment out of it!”
“Hehey, that’s my lihiHIHINE AHAHA!” Viktor tried to cut back but was interrupted by Jayce blowing the biggest raspberry yet right over his navel. It was then that the low rumbling noise started in Viktor’s chest, interspersing with the laughing. Jayce tilted his head to the side in amusement, replacing his mouth with his hands so he could speak.
“Aw, you’re purring!” Jayce said with a smile, hands scribbling over Viktor’s stomach at the speed of light. “You like this!”
Viktor squirmed violently, voice scratching from the purring he couldn’t control. “Jahayce plehease, ihit tickles so bahadly!”
“Alright, alright. Just one more.”
Jayce blew a last raspberry into Viktor’s stomach, using his scratchy beard to get a final yell from his partner before finally relenting. Viktor laid there on the bed, heaving for breath through continuous purring.
“I am covered in your slobber. Gross.” he commented, unable to conjure much more. Jayce snickered and laid down beside him.
“You deserved it.”
Viktor frowned, before he turned to Jayce with an evil grin. “Actually, I don’t think the punishment fits the crime at all.”
Jayce watched as Vitkor’s eyes glowed white with Arcane energy and his body glitched in place, transforming into the incarnation of the divine in living form. Well, that’s how Jayce saw it.
Viktor pinned Jayce down the same way Jayce had done to him, still purring. “You have just started a war, Jayce. I hope you’re prepared for the outcome.”
The hexclaw spun and contracted menacingly over Viktor’s shoulder, and Jayce gulped. This was gonna tickle so bad.
#arcane tickling#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayvik#lee!viktor#arcane jayce#lee!jayce#arcane tickles#tickling#it is midnight#fuck me I guess here you go
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Love Will be Enough
He wakes to water. He rises from its depths, breaks its surface, swims to shore.
He sits there for a long time, breathing in the morning air. It feels strange on his skin, like it's from another time he hasn’t lived in, air that presided over a past age, or one that has yet to come.
An overwhelming feeling of sorrow passes over him and he looks from the shore to the rest of his surroundings. It’s overgrown, flora and fauna spilling forth unkept, wild flower and fern curling over old stone. This was once a great place, once - something familiar tugs on him. He can’t place it, it has changed so much, but he recognizes it as the work of his people.
He hears a shout and rises, walks along the shoreline. He comes to an old crumbling dock. A sleek, and well built ship rests proudly on the shore nearby. It is not yet finished, it will be soon. On it twin children run to and fro, he sees them calling to one another as they raise a mast. He sees black hair and the unmistakable carriage of peredhil and
He wakes to water. Slipping down his cheeks, a steady trail of tears. It has been so long since he has dreamed of his brother and himself, when they were children.
In their bed, his love shifts her body against his. She opens sleepy eyes and they rest with fondness on his face. Their lovemaking had carried long into the night and the morning is now well on its way, light streaming through the window to land on their entangled bodies. She sees the tears on his cheek, raises a hand to them and gently wipes them away.
“What are these for my love?”
“I dreamed of my brother - I think. I did not see faces, but I dreamed I was with him, building a boat, and the world was strange and old and overgrown. We were leaving.”
“A strange dream.” she says. Her fingers cup the line of his jaw, travel to his throat. She traces him like an artist, she commits him to her soul. She shares in his sadness and she asks:
“A sleep dream, or one of foresight?”
For she is so bound to him now, body and soul that she feels that trace of otherworldliness clinging to him, smells it in his tears, and she knows before even he does.
“Elros and I cannot again be children.” He says.
And then he looks at her and the sun illuminating her body, sees the slight swell in her abdomen, sees the tears coming to her own eyes.
She nods at him.
“I have waited, waited to tell you. But I thought I was growing more quickly than I should, and now I think, Melethel, that you have seen our children.”
He is underwater again. He’s a twin, one part of a whole. He’s sitting on his mother’s knee - it’s such a faint memory. They play on the shores of Sirion and it is the happiest he has ever been. He cannot know what will come next. He’s stumbling through burning buildings, holding his brother's hand so tightly, he does not think anything or anyone could tear them apart. He’s holding Elros as they sob their bitterness out to a cold and merciless world. All through that time, through hate that grew into love, through the bitter choice thrust upon them, to the parting.
He’s a half of a whole saying goodbye to his brother, burying him in the tombs of his great kingdom.
He thinks of the peredhil building the boat, if these are his sons, and if this is his foresight, than he is glad, for they are together in this dream.
He kisses Celebrían’s tears from her cheeks, for now she is crying too, sharing in his memories and their joy. He places both hands around her face and pulls her to his body, as close as they can be without crawling under one another's skin. Their delight shudders from them, spills out over their bodies, creeps over the floor, dances with the sunbeams that have taken up residence in the room.
Celebrian my love? Are you happy?
I have not known joy as this since first I knew I loved you and you loved me in return.
The birds outside the window are singing and the sun is rising, and they lay entangled in each other's arms and in the joy they share.
Celebrian leans forward, her nose against his. The light in her eyes is playful.
“Melethron, did you not know I married you, because I wanted twins? They will be boys, twin boys, as you and your brother.”
He smiles, rolls over her and takes her fully in his arms again.
“I have always desired to see you a mother.”
“And I have craved to see you as a father since first I loved you."
She pauses, her eyes on him, she has just been sharing in his memories, she is one half of a whole.
"Oh Elrond, do you think our children will be happy?”
He thinks of Elros and himself fleeing through shallow pools of blood and burning homes. He thinks of the fall of their mother, he thinks of the hands of their captors and the harp of Maglor, which had become something not evil after a time, and something beautiful. He thinks of the joys he has drank down deeply, and the sorrows, oh the sorrows. He thinks of beautiful Arda that he stays to protect, and the joy of this love that he shares with Celebrian that came upon him so unexpectedly - he thinks of all that warms him, all who cherished him, all that bathes his life in warm, golden light.
“They will be loved.” He says.
“Love will be enough.” She says, and as their lips meet again, it is so.
Over and over again.
...
Late night thoughts on how Elrond would feel to know he would be having twin sons turned into this feverish little piece. Maybe this will grow into something larger, maybe not. Also, YOU KNOW WHY THEY ARE BUILDING THAT BOAT.
#elrond peredhel#celebrían#elrond x celebrian#elladan#elrohir#elros tar minyatur#peredhil twins#lord of the rings#lotr fanfic#silm fic#rings of power#silmarillion
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EVIE !!!!!
I SAW U USE MY ART AS UR THEME SO I WANNA DO A REMAKE !!! mostly cause the other one was full of mistaks hurrrrr orz
keeping the color palette the same so itd still fit + use softer shading so convey how soft u are + moze is now IN UR HAND !!!! >:3
oh nick :’)
#🐦⬛🐕 .#彡 cherishing.#彡 inbox.#彡 nick!#AAAJSNSNS i did my makeup in record time because i had to respond to this asap !! T T i have 25 tags left and so much to say so let’s see#how efficiently i can use my words to convey my gratitude !! T T im actually losing my mind at the addition of moze’s little hands .. i#i will get into that later …. i cannot believe u revamped it for me!!!! thank you nick ?!?! 🥹 i went to gaze 🔎 at the two!! though i think#both are so lovely — i love the curl to my hair !!! i sleep with my hair in those heatless curl rods — so they always tend to be wavier at#the bottom since the top comes loose — THOUGH ITS A RANDOM DETAIL AHAJJ I THOUGHT it looked so accurate !! >< U DID THE BOW EARRINGS UUURGH#i love drop earrings !!!!! and the bow matches with the big one — i noticed the bow & headband is a bit different!! I LOVE BOTH — omg and t#god im going to run out of tags - AND THE SLEEVE!!! ok i shouldn’t point out every difference akajjajaj i am just so excited looking at bot#of them!! I LOVE HOW YOU DRAW ME IM SO?? CAN I SAY THAT??? the little sparkle is spot on because !!! i am showing off mini moze!! to everyo#everyone* T T !!! HE IS SO PRECIOUS AHAHAJSN his gigantic hood … and his signature (ᓀ ᓀ) oh but he is so cute …. T T NICK YOU MAKE HIM LOOK#SO SQUISHABLE URK ITS SO SPOT ON . HIS SQUISHABLE-NESS REALLY SHINES IN YOUR AWESOME ART STYLE (i don’t think i have ever reblogged somethi#something* from you without mentioning your art style) HES SO TINY AAASJSN MY HEART FELT SO HAPPY SEEING HIS LITTLE HANDS …. HIS HANDS ARE#FHE SIZE OF MY EARRING 😭😭😭😭 oh my god i just noticed you gave him a little blush and i want to lock myself underground /pos HE IS SO CUTE#IN YOUR STYLE IUUUAGGHHHH IM IN SUCH AGONY /pos :’) oh i don’t think i will get over his little hands ISNSKDKX im feeling so violently#affectionate staring at it — THE WAY HE IS DRAPED OVER MY HAND IS SO SJSNDNCJ he is my …. most treasured little crow …. that i am showing#everyone with the happiest smile ever …. THANK YOU NICK ))): and the fact that you kept the colors for my theme is so ?!?! you are so thou#UGH TUMBLR — you are so thoughtful with all of your gifts towards your friends!! noting all the details and such ): oh i adore you ): u sai#softer shading to convey how soft i am but i have quite literally melted into a puddle of goo so now am i soft ?! i believe i am just a#puddle in the corner over there in the nick museum -> waiting to be mopped -> OH I LOVE THIS SO MUCH SOB THANK YOU ))): i was about to say#that i don’t even know what to say to convey my gratitude — but i have said something! just not enough to get out my feelings ^^; never eno#ALSO I LOVE HOW YOU DID MY LASHES AAHHHNXNX )): my eyes !!! your style !!! oh i am really in such agony /POS URGH AND I KEEP LOOKING AT HIS#LITTLE HANDS AND WANTING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS BUNDLE OF VIOLENT AFFECTION I GET FROM IT T T HES SO TINY AJANSDto ruffle his hair with#the very tip of my pinkie … trembling trying not to knock him over ……. i must make him a little spot in my purse …. with little blankets to#keep him nice and cozy …. nick words cannot express my gratitude — thank you!!! both versions are so stunning 🥹 I REALLY APPRECIATE IT (<-#severe understatement) (the most severe understatement) your art is always so stunning#when im home i must come back and add some good reaction photos !!!! THANJ YOU SNIFFLE YOU ARE TOO KIND )))))):#similar to the first time u visited my inbox …. if I ever spot a kofianywhere 🔎🔎🔎🔎🔎👁️!!
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✮ sylus x wife!reader
contents: fluff, suggestive. arranged marriage au. hints of slow burn. you like playing hard to get and he loves calling you his wife. 1.4k wc.
꒰ note ᰔ I had to deposit my messy thoughts somewhere and this headcanon post was the result.
part two here. ꒱
⭒ Arranged marriage with Sylus where he prefers to call it a “strategic partnership” as a means of appearances to flaunt that he has it all—an empire, riches, strength, influence and now a darling wife who waits for him at home. You’re not so much as a random choice, Sylus had been watching you from afar for a while and in exchange for his protection in the N109 zone he strikes a deal with you to play a simple role. You have every reason to be wary of him and know to keep your wits about yourself, but even you acknowledge that your chances are better with him. Though, if you asked him how he was so certain you’d agree to his proposal he’d admit that he wasn’t but he knew you’d consider it if he had an advantage over you.
⭒ He sets his terms and conditions—you reside in his humble abode, wedding ring always worn on your finger, and attend events with him as a pretty accessory on his arm to contribute to his image. But he’ll never admit that he actually enjoys your company at business functions that often feel dull to him. You are more than welcome to spend your days as you please so long you don’t cause him trouble, and that also means you have his black card privileges to spoil yourself rotten. Of course, he accommodates most requests you may have like sleeping in separate rooms if that’s what you wish (and redecorating because his furnishing decisions are quite bleak).
⭒ Luke and Kieran can sense that their boss feels something for you despite his nonchalance toward this little arrangement. It starts off small, it always does—Sylus takes note of your morning and night routine, your picky eating habits and has the chef make adjustments to your preference, how he sees you out in the gardens and come back with spring tulips to brighten the space and the next week he already replaced the slowly withering flowers with fresh ones. The twins whisper among themselves that he’s often less annoyed and irritated when you’re around, and their boss wouldn’t go through the trouble of being considerate unless he cares for you. It’s almost exciting for them both to witness a budding romance unfold before their very eyes and they do offer a helping hand here and there to keep things interesting.
⭒ Sylus thinks it’s adorable how you keep trying to resist him and that’s precisely the reason he loves seeking you out just to watch your resolve crumble under his touch. He finds you in the kitchen preparing a snack and cages you from behind with his hands planted on either side of you against the counter. “Hey kitten, I thought I’d find you in here.” You feel his hot breath down your neck as he pushes your hair aside just enough to lay a soft kiss on your shoulder. He chuckles when you comment that he’s being awfully touchy with you, and he purposely moves closer so that his chest is pressing against your back. “Perhaps I just can’t keep my hands to myself where you’re involved. Besides, you’re my wife now. I think I have the right to touch you whenever I like.”
⭒ You remind him that you’re his wife in title only, but that doesn’t discourage his flirtation and teasing as he allows you to nudge past him. He follows you into the common area and takes a seat on the couch, spreading his legs wide and taking up a lot of space. His gaze is settled on you as he pats his thigh and his lips curl into a smirk. “Come here, wife.” You naturally scoff meanwhile you place the plate of seasonal fruits on the side table and situate yourself closest to the armrest, taking a bite into a juicy red strawberry as you ignore his piercing stare.
⭒ For someone who always gets what he wants, Sylus isn’t used to being defied like this. And had it been anyone else his patience would wear dangerously thin, but he supposes that you’re a special exception because he seems to enjoy the chase and claiming its reward. With one small gesture, he drags you across the couch by a gravitational pull and you squeal when the swirling red easily turn and maneuver you so you’re forced to straddle him and your hands prop on his shoulders for support. “There, much better. Comfy? This is the best seat in the house.” His gaze locks with yours, and he thinks you huffing and frowning at him is simply cute. He firmly grabs your wrist with the bitten strawberry in your hand and lifts it to his mouth for a sweet taste.
⭒ “No fair… using your Evol against me like this.” You grumble under your breath as you gently trail your thumb from his chin to the corner of his mouth where the strawberry juices began to spill. Then an impulsive thought takes over and you pinch his cheek between your fingers, creating a sticky mess on his face. “I hope you’re enjoying yourself. That’s for treating me like a sack of potatoes.” He chuckles once more, his hand falling on your hip and he gives you a light squeeze. “Oh, I do have every intention of fully enjoying my wife tonight.” And by that, he means taking you out for a joyride on his motorbike and feeling your arms wrapped around him tightly as the engine roars through the streets under the night sky and sinking moon. Sylus would never engage in any intimate acts you weren’t ready for, but he loves seeing you fluster at his suggestive remarks.
⭒ As the weeks cross over into months, you never imagined that you’d be spending so much time with Sylus outside of your agreed terms. He’s everywhere in every waking moment of your life even when he’s not there physically. You’re learning new things about him each day and you (begrudgingly) like being around him—even when he can sometimes be a playful bully toward you. When he’s gone for long stretches of time to deal with negotiations and other important matters in the N109 zone, you can feel your heart yearning for him but you’d never say that you miss him out loud when you think he's still toying with you. But with the way he cares for you like you’re both in a real and genuine relationship, it’s hard to know his true intentions and keep your feelings buried deep inside your chest for long.
⭒ You accidentally confirm that Sylus does harbor romantic feelings for you when you carelessly bring up your replacement in a lighthearted joke. You’ve never seen his face falter so quickly at your words as he averts his gaze for a moment to collect himself—a hint of vulnerability in his crimson hues. “I wouldn’t have found a new wife.” He shakes his head and tells you, his voice a little rougher than before. You don’t know what to say, but you manage a soft “No?” that reaches his ears. “No. I wouldn’t have been able to replace you, kitten. You’re it for me. The only one. No one could fill the void you’d leave behind.”
⭒ You and Sylus have kissed before, but this is the first time you’re initiating it. As you brush your lips against his, there’s a softness you never noticed. His hand slips around the small of your back and he pulls you close against him, returning your kiss with the same tenderness as though savoring the taste of you. You lean back after a moment, your palm meeting his cheek in a sweet embrace. “You know, I'm still getting used to the idea that I’ve fallen for you.” You can see him returning back to normal when he offers you a cocky smirk. “And yet here you are. In my arms, with your lips on mine. I think you’re not being entirely honest, my beautiful wife.” Sylus has waited a long time to hear those words from you but you don’t need to know that right now.
#ᨳ ₊˚ 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐩.𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬#sylus#sylus x reader#l&ds x reader#love and deepspace x reader#sylus love and deepspace#lnds sylus#sylus lnd#sylus l&ds#lads sylus#l&ds sylus#love and deepspace
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drew and actress!reader being the best couple for 10 minutes
masterlist | actress!reader masterlist
compilation of funny moments based on this ask <3
when they got too into playing the wii…
“Get off of my side!” Y/n squealed, hitting Drew with her hip as the two of them stood in front of the TV waving their Wii remotes around wildly. Madelyn panned the camera around the room, Just Dance played on the screen and the couch filled with the Outer Banks cast as they watched the couple play.
“I’m not on your fucking side!” Drew laughed, wedging himself in front of y/n, essentially blocking her view of the screen. The two of them continued dancing, bumping into each other and giggling as the intense game continued.
“Get down, get down!” Y/n laughed, jumping on Drew’s back like the character’s on the screen, the room erupting into cheers as Drew held onto y/n’s legs. The two of them started giggling, their entire bodies shaking with laughter as the game ended and they fell to the ground in a heap.
when y/n interrupted drew’s beauty sleep…
“Are you filming?” y/n asked JD as he held her phone, camera focused on Drew’s soft, sleeping face. JD nodded, his small giggles audible as he zoomed in on Drew on the couch. Y/n waved to the camera before holding up the box of crackers in her hand.
“My name is y/n y/ln and today JD and I are going to find out how many crackers we can put on Drew’s face before he wakes up.” Y/n whispered, digging in the box and placing a cracker on Drew’s forehead.
“One.” Y/n said. JD stifled his laughter as he handed the phone back to y/n, grabbing a cracker from the bag. With a dramatic flourish, JD gently placed a cracker on Drew’s ear, the man not even moving the slightest.
“Two.” JD said. The two of them continued, passing the phone back and forth as they placed more and more crackers on Drew’s sleeping face.
“Four–” y/n giggled as she placed another cracker, “–teen.”
Drew let out a groan, his eyes blinking open slowly. He lifted his hand to his face, wiping one of the crackers away from his eyes as y/n and JD collapsed into laughter.
“What the fuck?” Drew grumbled as he lifted one of the crackers, examining it groggily before his lips curled into a confused smile.
“Fourteen,” y/n said to the camera. “Fourteen is the number of crackers we can put on Drew Starkey’s face before he wakes up!”
when they weren’t paying attention in an interview…
Drew and y/n sat next to each other, both of them staring at each other as Chase and Madelyn answered a question from the interviewer. The camera picked up Drew mouthing something to y/n, causing her arm to shoot out and grab him. Her movement a bit too quick, her already unstable chair wobbled, sending y/n tumbling to the floor with a squeal.
“Oh [bleep]!” Y/n swore, laughing as she climbed back into her chair. The entire cast turned around, their faces confused.
“What is going on back there?” Madison laughed, y/n smoothing her dress down as she settled into her seat.
“I have no idea. I am not involved.” Drew said, a smirk dancing on his lips.
“You are such a liar!” Y/n groaned, elbowing Drew lightly as he bit his lip, attempting to hold back laughter.
when y/n saw drew’s new hair…
“Ok, are you ready?” Drew asked, sneaking up behind y/n with his new platinum hair. Y/n stood with her back to Drew, nodding enthusiastically as Drew placed his hands on her hips. He had convinced her to film it under the guise that he was shaving it all off again, his hair getting quite long, but what he left out was that he was also bleaching it the color she had expressed her love for in the past.
“I already miss your long hair.” Y/n said with a faux pout as Drew ran his hands along her sides before spinning her around to face him.
“Oh my god!” Y/n gasped, her hands flying over her mouth. Drew smiled, tilting his head down so she could get a closer look at his short, icy hair.
“What do you think?” Drew asked, raising his eyebrows as y/n continued to look at him silently.
“You look like young President Snow.” Y/n giggled, her hands running along his head lightly.
“What?” Drew laughed, furrowing his brows as y/n continued to admire his hair.
“It’s a good thing. I promise. He’s hot, just like you.” Y/n said, biting her lip before pressing a kiss to Drew’s still very much confused face.
when they went to the club…
Madison filmed as Drew, Chase, and Austin danced in sync, grins on their faces as they danced humorously. She panned the camera around to y/n, who stood staring at them, her brows furrowed and a drink in her hand.
“I don’t think y/n likes it.” Madison laughed, causing y/n to grimace at the camera before turning back to the boys’ dramatic and embarrassing dance moves.
“Oh no, oh no!” Madelyn laughed as Drew danced over towards y/n, his eyes locked on her as he took her hand. Handing her drink off to Madison, y/n followed him as he spun her around, the two of them laughing as they stumbled along the dance floor. With a flair, Drew dipped y/n down, causing the rest of the cast to let out gasps before erupting with laughter.
“Drew!” Y/n squealed as he brought her back up to her feet, dancing around her with a smirk on his lips.
“How about that?” Drew said into the camera before grabbing y/n by the waist, spinning her around to pull her into his chest.
when they made a tik tok…
Y/n and Drew sat on the couch opposite each other, y/n holding her phone as they started their video:
“I’m passing the phone to the person who is always on their damn phone but never answers my texts.” Y/n said. The video cut to Drew, a smile on his lips.
“I’m passing the phone to the person who always has a stomachache.” Drew laughed.
“I’m passing the phone to the person who once got so drunk he fell asleep on the kitchen counter and—” y/n giggled, Drew gasping behind the camera, “Chase had to carry him back to his room.”
“Ok, so we’re doing that.” Drew said once he got the phone. “I’m passing the phone to the person who once farted so loudly—”
“Drew Starkey, no!” Y/n said off camera.
“...who once farted so loudly while we were babysitting my niece she made her cry.” Drew finished, laughing loudly, leaning off the couch. A loud crash sounded before the video abruptly cut to y/n, tears in her eyes as she keeled over in laughter.
“I’m passing the phone to the person who just spilled an entire bottle of wine on our brand new couch.” Y/n laughed, panning to the large, red stain on their couch before panning up to Drew, who was picking up the overturned bottle with a groan.
“I am the person who spilled an entire bottle of wine on our brand new couch.” Drew said with a thumbs up.
when they couldn’t get through a scene…
Y/n and Drew stood opposite each other, clad in swimsuits despite the freezing cold air around them. They were shooting a scene where their characters, Caroline and Rafe, shared an intense moment, Caroline following Rafe as he drunkenly stumbled down the beach
Take 1
“You can just [bleep] whoever you—” y/n said in character, but stopped once Drew’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Oh, sorry I forgot… not allowed to say that.” Y/n giggled.
Take 2
“You can just sleep with whoever you want and I’m just supposed to wait around for you?” Y/n scoffed, crossing her arms across her chest.
“Uh… yeah?” Drew furrowed his brows, turning to face her with a drunken smile on his face. Y/n tried her best to bite back a laugh but failed, her hand covering her mouth.
Take 3
“You can just sleep with whoever you want and I’m just supposed to wait around for you?” Y/n crossed her arms across her chest. Drew spun around, but misplaced his foot, causing him to stumble.
“[beep]!” Drew swore, catching himself just before he face planted into the sand.
Take 4
“You can just sleep with whoever you want and I’m just supposed to wait around for you?” Said with a huff.
“Uh… yeah.” Drew said, cocking his head to the side as he looked at y/n, a drunken smirk on his face. Y/n scowled, shaking her head.
“You’re an asshole, Rafe.” Y/n scoffed, biting her lip as she gazed at Drew with disgust. A shocked expression fell over Drew’s face, him taking a dramatic step backwards.
“An asshole?” Drew said incredulously, causing the two of them to break into giggles.
Take 5
“An ASS-hole?” Drew scoffed, y/n giggling.
Take 6
“An asshole?” Drew gasped, a smile wide on his face.
Take 7
“An asshole?” Drew scoffed, taking a step forward. Y/n took a step away from him, a look of disgust on her face.
“Yes, you’re an asshole. Don’t call me.” Y/n spat, turning on her heel and leaving Drew behind. He kicked at the sand in front of him, mumbling to himself lowly.
“Cut! We got it!” The director shouted, y/n turning back around and running full speed at Drew, tackling him into the sand.
when drew set off the smoke alarm…
Y/n wheezed behind the camera as she filmed Drew, a panicked expression on his face as the smoke detector blared in the background.
“Shit! Shit!” Drew laughed, reaching into the oven with a dish towel. He pulled the pizza (now burnt to a crisp) out before running through the apartment. Y/n followed him, stumbling with laughter as he flung the backdoor open before throwing the pizza onto the concrete.
“Oh my god!” Y/n squealed, dumping a glass of water onto the pizza. With a sizzle, the smoldering pizza melted into the patio.
“Holy shit.” Drew panted, leaning over to catch his breath as he looked down at the smoking pizza. Y/n continued laughing behind the camera, zooming in on Drew as he shook his head.
“You’re never cooking pizza again.” Y/n laughed, causing Drew to whip his head to the side and look directly into the camera, his mouth agape.
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Talking to your baby bump ɞ˚‧。⋆
Zayne carefully arranged pillows to support your sleeping form before settling beside you on the bed, your baby bump now beneath the covers. His hand wandered to stroke gentle circles over the swell, awestruck as always by the miracle inside.
"Hey little one," he murmured softly so as not to wake you. "It's just you and me for a chat." A tiny fluttering kick met his palm, drawing a quiet chuckle.
"I want you to know how excited your dad is to meet you," he continued, voice full of wonder. "I'll teach you everything how to walk, talk...".
His eyes drifted to your peaceful expression, love swelling in his chest. "You're going to have the best mommy, you know. She's the kindest, bravest person I know." Brushing hair from your cheek, he pressed a tender kiss to your forehead.
Turning attentions back to your unborn child, Zayne smiled. "I promise I'll support both of you no matter what. We're gonna have so much fun together, the three of us."
Caressing the bump once more, he whispered, "I love you so much already, little peanut. Can't wait to hold you in my arms."
As if in reply, a stronger fluttering pressed against his palm. Smile stretching ear to ear, he rested his head by your side, content to keep watch over his perfect little growing family.
You were curled up asleep on the couch, your baby bump pressing against the cushions as you rested. Rafayel came over quietly and knelt beside you, gently placing a hand on your stomach.
"Hey little one," he whispered softly so as not to wake you. "It's daddy."
He still couldn't believe there was life growing inside the woman he loved most. Your child wasn't even born yet and already he loved them fiercely.
"I just wanted to tell you how excited I am to meet you," he continued, rubbing gentle circles with his palm. "Your mommy and I have been waiting so long for this."
There was a flutter of movement under his hand and Rafayel's breath caught, overcome at even the smallest response. "I know you can't understand me yet, but I promise I'm going to be the best daddy."
Throughout your pregnancy so far, he had doted on your every need and craving. But in quiet moments like this, he also spoke his heart to your unborn baby through your belly.
"We're going to have so much fun learning and playing together. I'll teach you how to draw if you want!" He chuckled softly. "But most of all, I want you to know how much you are loved already, little one."
He placed a tender kiss to your abdomen resting his cheek there.
The evening sun slanted gently through the bedroom window as you slept, your soft breathing the only sound amid peaceful quiet. Xavier lay beside you, propped on an elbow while watching your belly rise and fall beneath his palm.
9 weeks along now, just the faintest swell showed your child's growth nestled safely within.
Leaning down, he placed a tender kiss to your belly through fabric before whispering, "Hey little one. It's Daddy. I know you can't hear me yet but I just wanted to say hi."
He scooped gentle circles with his hand, half expecting to feel answering flutters even this early. His heart swelled impossibly at the idea of hidden tiny fingers and toes taking shape, getting ready to greet him.
"I can't wait to meet you. Your mom and I will do everything to take care of you, keep you safe and loved."
"You'll know so much love, little peanut. We're going to be a perfect happy family together - just wait and see." Xavier sniffed, emotion rising in his voice. His eyes strayed reverently to your peaceful face.
"You're so lucky to have her as your mom. She's going to be the best." He murmured placing soft kiss to your stomach.
You had drifted off to sleep early in the evening, Sylus sat beside you on the couch, watching your peaceful slumber with a quiet smile.
His large hand drifted to rest gently against the swell of your abdomen, feeling the occasional flutter of tiny movements stirring within. His child, strong and spirited even now, responding to his touch.
"Hey there little one," Sylus murmured low, careful not to wake its mother. "It's just us guys for now. You keeping momma company in there?"
A curious prodding against his palm seemed to answer. His smile widened as he continued his one-sided conversation.
"You're going to turn our whole world upside down soon. But me and your mom, we can't wait to meet you. We'll teach you everything - how to walk, talk. Maybe how to wrestle if you're up for it."
Soft chuckling accompanied the mental image before growing serious once more. "Most of all, we'll make sure you know how much you're loved. No matter what."
His fngertips traced soothing patterns over stretched skin, voice dropping lower. "We'll be here for you always, little crow. Me and your mom against the world."
Glancing once more at your sleeping form, he placed a tender kiss to your belly. "Be good to your mom, you hear? See you real soon, little one."
©loveanddeepspaceimagines 2024
⋆。‧˚ʚ ɞ˚‧。⋆
Hope you enjoyed reading this peace! Reblogs and feedback are highly appreciated. I'm hoping i can find mutuals in lads fandom! Thank you for reading!
#love & deepsace x reader#love & deepspace#love and deepspace#love and deepspace imagine#love & deepspace x you#love and deepspace rafayel#rafayel#imagines#rafayel x y/n#rafayel x reader#zayne x mc#zayne x reader#lnds zayne#zayne love and deepspace#zayne x y/n#lads zayne#xavier x mc#lads xavier#xavier love and deepspace#xavier x reader#xavier l&ds#sylus x you#sylus x mc#sylus x reader#love and deepspace sylus#l&ds sylus#lads sylus#sylus#imagine#scenarios
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Drinks and Jackets
pairing: lando norris x reader
summary: lando comes home drunk and doesn’t recognize you, and you can’t help but swoon at the devotion your boyfriend has for you
warnings: drinking, slight cursing
word count: 0.9k
・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚.
A long sigh left Lando’s lips as he pushed his bedroom door open, stumbling slightly in his steps as he did so, needing to cling onto the door frame for support so he didn’t go flying face first into the carpeted floor of his bedroom.
After inhaling a deep breath from his nose- the man's eyebrows furrowed in concentration- he pushed off of the frame and attempted to shrug his jacket off of his shoulders. Which only ended in him banging into the wall next to his bed with a small, “Ow,”.
“Lan?” A soft voice rang through the darkness of the room after the thud was emitted.
Norris jumped at least a foot into the air with a small, high pitched squeal of surprise, whipping around with wide eyes just in time to see a figure turn on the lamp beside the bed.
You were tiredly rubbing at your eyes, pushed up on one elbow as you looked at him from across the room, imminently taking note of his wide eyes and tousled hair. Not to mention the fact that he only had one arm through the sleeve of his jacket.
Slight amusement crept onto your features when you realized you had startled him, though a hint of guilt kept you from openly laughing as you gently asked, “Are you alright?” Sleep lacing your tone.
The wide eyes of Lando didn’t shrink. In fact, they only seemed to widen as he looked at you as if you had suddenly grown two heads right before his very eyes, “Who are you?” He hissed, panic and confusion seizing his tone.
At his words, all of the exhaust suddenly disappeared from your body and you finally pushed yourself to fully be sitting up, now wide awake and alert, “What-”
You didn’t even get to finish voicing your bewilderment before Lando- literally- stumbled over his own feet to reach the opposite side of the bed you were sitting on, “That’s my girlfriend's spot!” He exclaimed, eyes still wide as he stared at you.
Your eyebrows drew downwards, “I know, it-”
“Listen, I’m warning you lady, you need to get out of here before she gets back.” He was nodding along to his own words. While he clearly thought he was looking very serious- and maybe even threatening- it was difficult to even consider him whilst he looked hilarious. Clearly drunk and jacket half hanging off of him.
And just like that, the mumsnet flickered back inside of you and a slow grin slowly lifted the corners of your lips, “Is that so?” You asked, playing along when you realized just how drunk he was.
Lando nodded again, “Yeah, and she could kick your ass.” He said it so matter of factly with his chin raised, clear pride laying in his words, even as wasted as he currently was.
Unable to hold it back anymore, you let the first chuckle slip out of your lips as you pushed yourself to your knees and made your way over to the other side of the bed until you were in front of him at eye level.
You reached out and hooked your arms around his neck, tilting your head to the side as you gazed at him lovingly, “And what if I wanted to kiss you right now?” You teased.
Just as the brunette man's eyes widened in a panic and he looked as though he was going to move to swat you away, he froze, blinking once. Twice. Three times at you.
“Love?” He looked like a little, lost puppy dog when he tilted his head to the side, the first bit of recognition flaring through his eyes when he finally realized that it was you in front of him, not some random girl sleeping in his bed.
“You had fun with Carlos and Danny, I take it.” You joked, subconsciously toying with his curls.
“Oh, love, I missed you so much.” Lando gushed suddenly, face automatically becoming alight and housing a lovesick expression.
A laugh escaped your lips as the man wrapped his arms around your center and brought you both flying down onto the mattress before holding you close, his eyes already shutting as he let out a hum of content.
You chuckled, watching as he snuggled closer to you, inhaling the scent of your hair with his eyes still squeezed shut.
Gently, you maneuvered the two of you so that his head was resting against your chest and you were the one cradling him. He let you do so without an ounce of argument, the soft smile still sitting on his lips as he held you close.
Despite the fact that his jacket was still only half off of him and he was yet to change out of his clothes that he was in to go out, you knew from past experience that there was nothing on earth that could pull Lando off of you at that moment. Even to get fully ready for bed.
So, instead, you held him close, running your fingers through his hair after flicking off of the lamp light and waited for your boy to fall asleep.
“I love you,” The words were mumbled against your old sleep shirt with the man himself being halfway to sleep.
“I love you too, Lan.” You dipped your head to place a lingering kiss on the man's forehead, “So much.”
#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x reader#lando norris#f1#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 fanfic
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letters (MV33)
꒰ max verstappen x childhoodbestfriend! reader ꒱
synopsis┊it was confusing, even though you were continents apart, you never understood why max never responded to your letters, until you attend the belgium gp to finally get the answers you were looking for. inspired by the prompt, "why did you never reply to my letters?" "you wrote me letters?"
genre┊ fluffy, the fluffiest fluff i've ever fluffed.
word count┊ 4.4k
aria yaps┊ i have worked on this non-stop for two days, and i loved the way it turned out, maybe one of my favorite works. enjoy reading this as much as i enjoy writing this!!
SECOND PART
she was always around max, either from the sidelines or the first person max ran to when he won a race, it was always her. not even his father, even though he held his father to the highest regard, but it was always her.
the little wrinkles on the edge of her eyes when she smiled at him, the way her lips would curl up, or the way she would giggle every. single. time. that he would come and hug her after every race finish. he remembers it all. and the way he would snuggle his face in the crook of her neck and asked her softly after he would win a race, 'did you see me win, schatje?'
she would always smile back with a laugh, 'of course i did maxie.'
it was always about max, her life revolved around him, whether he liked it or not. she adored him and maybe he adored her a little bit more. they were childhood friends, they were inseparable since they were little babies, their mothers being friends made it even harder for the both of them to not be attached at the hip.
she loved being in his presence and he loved her.
the divorce between jos and sophie was hard on max, he blamed himself and his career but she was always there to tell him that it's not his fault. that their decision was their own and she never forgot to tell max that it wasn't his fault, no matter how much they told him that it was.
she saw the way jos had pushed max to his limits, get physical with his own son and his way of escaping that life was run to her arms, she was there tending to every bruise, every wound whether physical or emotional. she was his rock and it was final. nothing anyone could ever say or do would change his name.
"schatje," max had gently woken her up from her slumber, and she stirred awake from his soft voice, she noticed where she was and finally remembered what happened.
max had finished lower than expected and jos had thrown hurtful things about max, she was there on his mother's couch, comforting him and had fallen asleep that way, with max on her lap, "are you sleepy?"
she shook her head, not wanting to admit that yes, indeed she was sleepy, but if max needed comfort then that wasn't a big deal to her, "what's wrong maxie?"
"nothing, you can sleep on my bed if you're tired. i can sleep here," max had brushed a stray strand of her hair behind her ear but she refused, she hated taking his bed because she knew how uncomfortable the couch was, she wanted him to sleep well.
but he wouldn't allow her to take the couch, so they both slept on sophie's couch almost cuddled with eachother because they were both stubborn.
max was necessarily content with how he was living his life right now, but she made it better and that's all he could ask for. was it her smile? maybe her presence? max didn't care. the first memory he could remember from his early childhood was her, and it was etched into his memory like stone.
she was content with being max's rock, she was there to keep him grounded and she too only had memories of him from her early childhood. she wouldn't replace him for the world, he was too precious for anything in this earthly world.
but there was one day, it felt like a bomb dropped on her. her father had told her that he would have to move to korea to continue work, and she didn't know how to break the news to max until a few days before she had to leave.
she knew it was wrong to keep something this big away from max, but she was so stricken with anxiety that she never got the chance to until max came over to her house and saw all the packed boxes with their belongings.
"why didn't you tell me sooner?" max was angry, she could tell, by the way he was pacing around her room, looking at the packed boxes around. max thought he meant more to her than just a measly friend, he felt frustrated— betrayed almost. why wouldn't she tell him? why would she keep something as big as this away from him?
"why didn't you say something before? why now? why before you could see me race this weekend?" max was raising his voice now, and she didn't know what to do. her eyes turned glassy and those doe eyes max loved so much just looked so sad.
she stayed quiet, a guilty look on her face. she knew max would break from the news, and she knew that it would affect his performance, but she didn't know how to stay, how to convince her father that she didn't want to go, so yet again, she stayed silent in important moments of her life.
"schatje, can you say something? say anything?!" max yelled and she flinches, she didn't know what to say or what to do, she wanted to say something, say anything. but nothing would come to her lips. it was so hard for her when he was angry like this, it reminded her of his father and his father was deathly scary when angry.
a sigh escapes max's lips when he sees her flinch, coming close to her to wrap her in a hug. tears escaped from her eyes as she held onto max tight, "i didn't know how to tell you," she whispers into max's ear but max didn't say anything to that, just held her even tighter and he did not want to let go.
"it's okay schatje, i'm not mad at you. i could never get mad at you, i'm sorry for raising my voice. i just don't want you to go," tears started to escape max's eyes too, he didn't want to see her go. he wanted her to stay, and she did too. but the universe was pulling them apart and there was nothing either of them could do about it.
the ride to the airport was tough, being only fifteen and sixteen respectively. max held her hand the entire time, not wanting to let go, he didn't want her to leave, she was his biggest support system and he couldn't imagine her gone like that.
she was the most scared of the two of them, what if her father never returned to belgium? what if she was stuck there in korea forever? what if she never got to see his pretty blue eyes anymore?
max was the one to ground her, no longer lost in her thoughts, "can you promise me we'll keep in touch? or maybe visit from time to time?" max was holding onto her hands tightly, she felt like they would bruise, she could only smile and nod.
her mother had called her over, it was time to go. she looked at max for what it felt like the last time and left her life in belgium.
dear schatje,
hi, this is the first week that you're gone and it's bene been so hard without you here with me. i forgot that you weren't here anymore and i was expecting to see your face, but when i didn't, i may or may not have almost cried.
i miss you so much. tell me how it is in korea, is it cold? do they have bears there? what about the food? is it good? can you eat it? i heard there's a lot of spiy spicy food there? honestly i don't care about what they have there, i just care about you.
when can you visit again? can you tell me if you're ever coming back? i'm so worried about you there, i miss you... so much schatje.
written with a lot of love, your maxie.
max always handed off his letters to his father, telling his father to hand it off to his mother because apparently they kept in contact and wanted to send it off to the post office on behalf of him.
he just wondered how she was doing there.
it's been months and countless of letters max had sent, and none of them replied. he was starting to lose hope, he didn't want to think that his best friend would forget about him so easily like that, but he held out hope. he knew that she wouldn't magically forget about him now that she was there.
jealousy bubbled within him when he realized that she would be meeting new people, what if she met someone like him? who enjoyed karting and wanted to steal her attention?
no, he couldn't be thinking like that. he loved her and he knew she loved him as much as he did, so he told himself to just be patient, maybe letters to korea took months to reach?
the naviety was almost laughable but he was fine with it. he just wanted to hear back from his pretty girl.
"i do not understand why you keep writing letters to that stupid girl, she doesn't reply to you and all it does is distract you," jos had reprimanded his son, but max was stubborn. he didn't care what his father had to say, he loved all of her, even when she was thousands of kilometers away. he wanted to talk, even when she never replied.
max was in the process of writing another letter, but he never listened to his father, not about her. not about how much of a distraction she's been to his career, he didn't care. he used it as motivation to get better on the track, so the next time she saw him, he would be a world champion, that's what he silently promised to her.
it had been two years, and he hadn't heard a peep back. slowly, he was starting to lose hope but he couldn't lose hope, every single time he would send off the letters, he told himself that maybe it got lost in the mail.
max kept writing though.
max's debut in f1 was explosive to say the least, his interviews would absolutely go viral by the things he was saying in them. he didn't understand why, he just said what was on his mind.
what was truly on his mind was her.
was he not good enough for her? was him being in f1 not enough to impress her? why wouldn't she write back?
oh god how he missed her.
he still wrote to her weekly, it was religious at this point. he never forgot and he always told his father to send them off to his mother and the week after that was always disappointment because he wouldn't hear anything back.
little did he know, she never received those letters.
max had slowly stopped writing letters as he got into f1, he didn't see a point in it anymore. she never replied. she didn't care. letters didn't take years to reach korea, and he finally lost hope.
winning his first championship felt empty, the pretty girl who used to be waiting for him wasn't there for him anymore. of course, he was happy to win such an impressive feat, who wouldn't? but it just... lacked her.
max indeed lost hope that she would ever write back, but never lost hope that she was out there, somewhere, watching him race every single week and beat the shit out of his rivals. she loved watching him race and that's what he intended to do until the day he died, he wanted to impress her, maybe that was his ulterior motive to becoming a formula one driver.
all just to impress his best friend who had lost contact with him for a decade now.
"you need to stop figdeting so much," her mother had scolded her, she could only laugh nervously and stop fidgeting around. she wondered why max never wrote back to her, she had written him letters. did he hate her for moving out to korea and not coming to visit belgium?
she shook the thoughts out of her head, she was here now. for his home race, and for the rest of her life. her father had now decided to move back to belgium, because and i quote, 'i don't want my daughter to lose touch with her culture'.
she was 26 now, and she had guessed that he turned 27 not too long ago. it's been so long since she talked to him and she hoped that the spark that she had been yearning for had not been lost to the passages of time.
getting the paddock passes was not easy, it was a war and a half but she managed to snag some for herself and a friend that wanted to visit belgium and would arrive later on in the week.
"how did you even manage to get paddock passes for us?" heejin, her friend that wanted to visit had asked, she could only laugh and explain how she got them, it was a war and a half. heejin laughed along with her as they both arrived and scanned their passes at the entrance.
"i'm gonna meet my best friend here— well it's complicated. i don't think he considers me a best friend anymore, but i still do," she had softly told heejin who was a big formula one fan even before meeting her, heejin raised her eyebrow when she said that.
the both of them were walking down the paddock, passing all of the different team's hospitalities. heejin raised her eyebrow at her friend, who shrugged.
"who's your best friend?" heejin had asked as they pass by the red bull hospitality, she stopped which signalled heejin to stop as well, she looked at the redbull in awe. she hadn't been to a formula one race yet, the closest she'd been was to karting but that didn't bring on the feelings she felt when standing in front of this red bull building.
"well, he's driving the number one car."
"YOUR BEST FRIEND IS MAX VERSTAPPEN?!"
"YOUR BEST FRIEND IS MAX VERSTAPPEN?!"
max had heard a girl yell, he slowly turned his head. he was confused, he didn't have a best friend— well not anymore. she had moved to korea, all memories of her stuck in his head being replayed all over and over again.
that's all he had left of her.
the other girl shushed the girl who yelled, and that's when it dawned on max. the other girl looked awfully familiar, he couldn't quite place why she looked so familiar but she looked like her, like his best friend.
"shh! you can't just yell that out in public," she clamped a hand on her friend's mouth, "they're gonna think i'm insane!" then the both of them giggled, it did sound ridiculous but now he was curious.
was she back? was that her? who was she with? is that her new best friend? is that her?
as they both walked away, max wanted to run up to them, to ask that one particular girl what her name was. what she was doing here and who she was with but all of that died when he got approached by his race engineer.
then he forgot all about that familiar girl that he saw in front of the red bull hospitality.
max would only get another glimpse of her when it was race day, they were walking through the paddock in a similar fashion, but max promised to himself that he would approach them, that he would ask but there was doubt in his heart.
what if she forgot about him?
she couldn't, right?
and so approach them he did, tapping the girl that he felt was so familiar to on the shoulder, she had turned around and they had locked eyes.
it was as if she never left.
the sparks, they all came rushing back and then his heart started beating out of his chest, he wanted to ask so many questions, why she was here, who she was with, when she came back— why she came back, why she never wrote him back.
but the only thing that left his lips were a simple, "hi."
heejin was freaking out, she could tell. she knew that heejin was a big red bull fan too, always talking about how the team was dominating and they had the better car. she had heard all about it. but the little dutchboy she left all those years ago was standing in front of her and not-so little anymore and all those thoughts about her girlfriend was forgotten.
he looked the same, but grown and decked out in red bull merch. she wanted to laugh at how innocent he looked when he tapped her on the shoulder to get her to turn around, he looked stupid, stupidly cute.
all of those feelings from when she was back in belgium came back, she almost forgot what it felt like to be around max— her max. he looked like he was going to cry when he got a good look at her, that he finally realized that yes, it's her. the one that left him in belgium all those years ago.
and maybe she could cry too.
"maxie?" a familiar nickname slipped from her lips and she didn't get a response back, but a bear hug in return.
god, her scent. it was everything to him. he fucking missed it— miss her.
"i thought... i thought you forgot about me," max buried his face into the crook of her neck, she too wrapped her arms around max and buried her face into his chest. his voice was so vulnerable, all she wanted to do was curl around him and tell him that she would never.
she shook her head as she sank into the hug, "i could never forget my maxie," she mumbled into his chest, he held onto her tighter. he never wanted to let go, not now, not ever. she was where she was finally supposed to be, right in his arms.
once they got time alone after his race, max had stolen her away from her friend and dragged her into his driver's room, locking the door and pushing her against the wall, slamming his lips onto hers. he had been dreaming about this for so long, his lips on hers.
he didn't want to so sexual with her, no not yet. being in the small driver's room where they couldn't be free out of the public eye wasn't a good place. he just wanted to touch her, hold her, love her, make sure that she knew how much he had missed this.
missed them being together.
her hands instinctively went up to hold onto his shoulders, holding on for dear life as he kissed her softly. the feelings going through him were a mix of nostalgia, longing and love. he loved her for so long and it was so like her to show up when it mattered the most.
he won it for her today, to show her, that the little max she knew still had it in him to win and to impress her even with a world championship under his belt.
she felt the softness and the gentleness that max was touching her with, she knew how much he loved her. how much he care, how much he longed for her touch and she did too, only so much more.
she had so many questions in her, on why he never replied to the letters she sent or why he never sent any himself, not knowing what happened with her letters and why they never arrived properly.
but she didn't care at the moment, all she cared about was that she was safely in his arms, never to be let go ever again.
safe to say, her lips were to the point of bruising that night. max had forbade her to go back home, or to be away from his sight. he had kissed her silly, not wanting to let her go and there she was, settled nicely in his arms.
it's not like she wanted to go anywhere anyway.
the movie in the background was long forgotten, max's lips felt like they were molded for hers. he had waited for her for so long, waited to feel her skin after so long and this just felt right, it felt right when he was with her.
"maxie— mmhh— my love, stop," she had to talk in between kisses, max didn't want to let her go, his fingers were basically imprinted onto her waist. she was straddling max as he sat upright and kissed her, so softly. like she would break if he was any harder, even though he absolutely did want to kiss her harder.
max released her from the kiss with a pout, his pretty lips were red and swollen from all the kissing they did. everything in the world just seemed to fade into the background when they were together, like everyone else in this world was so insignificant for their time and they were the only people worthy of each other's time.
"but why? i wanna kiss you, i miss you. i have waited for you for ten years, the least you can do is let me kiss you until you're sick of me," max mumbled against her lips and all she could do was giggle.
god, her laugh, he loved it.
she shook her head and left a final peck on his lips, "because i want to talk maxie, we can't just kiss whatever questions we have for eachother away," she told him but he seemed to think otherwise, she had moved back to put a bit of distance in between them, to make sure max didn't go in to kiss her again.
"oh yes we can, i don't care about the questions, schatje. i just wanna be with you, just like old days, but now it's so different because in those ten years without you, i finally realized what i felt and how i felt for you and i can't wait any damn longer to finally kiss those pretty lips of yours, so please. just let me do this for another three hours and we can talk," max begged as he pulled her closer.
she couldn't imagine kissing for another three hours as they spent the last hour doing it, but with him? she would do it for another life-time if she could.
the both of them later had the serious talk when they were done kissing each other, now wanting answers from eachother. their legs were tangled and intertwined with each other's, not wanting to let go from their skin to skin contact.
"first off, why did you never reply to my letters? i wrote you so many. so many that i lost count, i would always write to you but you never replied, why?" max's voice came out strained, all of the painful feelings from the last ten years of his life were coming out, her doe eyes looked up from where she was, laying against his chest.
"you wrote me letters? i wrote you letters, you never replied. i thought you got too busy with your karting career to reply—"
"i could never get too busy to reply to you, but i never got any of your letters, schatje," max murmured against her forehead, kissing it gently after he spoke. she hummed a response before it dawned on her, she had always sent the letters to his father's address and she knew that his father wasn't fond of her, even offering her a huge lump sum of cash just for her to stay away from his son but she never accepted it, always choosing to be beside max, no matter what happened.
she looked up and sighed, she knew what happened now, she connected the pieces, "did you send your letters off to your dad?" she asked, and max nodded before it dawned on him too.
"that fucker hid the letters from you and never sent mine..."
she could only nod sadly, but it didn't matter now. all that mattered was that they were reconnected now.
scattered around them were the countless of letters max had written to her and all of the letters from her that he never received, the years of pining, longing— all of them tucked neatly away into these little envelopes that held all of those unsaid feelings.
a soft sigh escapes her lips, she looked at all of them, there were hundreds maybe. all of them posted to where she stayed in korea but never sent, always kept in a big box where all of his letters were and hers were stuffed in there in a similar fashion.
her heart clenched when she saw how many there were, there were far more many than whatever she sent, even though she did send quite a big sum.
when max had found out, he stormed into jos' house and demanded to ask why he never sent out the letters that he wrote and a big fight broke out, she had to hold of max from physically harming his own father. then they left after given the big box filled with letters.
"there's so many..." she watched in awe as all of them were sorted by date, from the latest to the earliest, max looked up at her with those big blue icy eyes of his, he looked really sad. stuck in his feelings almost, not understand why his father would do whatever he did in the past.
max held her hand gently, pulling her into his embrace, "i have always loved you, even when i was a little kid. i just didn't understand what those feelings were, i just acted on how i felt and being away from you... i just couldn't. so i sent you my love in the form of these letters."
she left a lingering kiss on his cheek, she felt sorry for having to leave all those years ago. she should've fought, should've stood her ground on how much she wanted to stay but she was just a 16 year old kid who didn't know how to, "i know. i'm sorry i had to leave all those years ago."
"don't apologize, schatje. i have never blamed you for leaving me. i have always held love for you in my heart, even if you didn't know it."
"i always knew max, and i still do."
very willing to do a part 2 to this btw, will only do it when requested tho. not proofread, excuse grammar mistakes.
#leclarifies fics#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen fic#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x yn#max verstappen#max verstappen x you#max verstappen oneshot#f1 fanfic#f1 fic
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more than friends | l.n
summary: good morning, gorgeous or the one where you spend the morning together after crossing the thin line you both had been dancing around.
warnings: fluff, smut (18+ ; unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it), oral fem!receiving, and overall kinda filthy), a pre-established friends to lovers!au, all the usual stuff. we come in w a bang with this one and i fear we don’t stop, so strap in. i also kinda hate this, idk, lemme know what u think <3
listen | masterlist
the morning sun shone in your face, stirring you awake no matter how hard you tried to ignore it. and after a while, you flipped over to your other side, smiling softly at his sleeping figure and how his cheek was pressed against the pillows cutely. how his tanned skin contrasted against the white bedsheets. the same sheets you had found yourselves tangled in the night before, right after you had finally told him how you really felt about him. the two of you diving head first into the ‘more’ category of your relationship compared to dancing along the blurry line you had been teetering against for the past few months.
you smiled at small mark underneath his collarbone that you had left in your wake the night before. you had thanked the gods above that he was on summer break, not having to worry about anyone on the paddock or at mclaren questioning him about the purple mark he wore proudly on his skin.
and after a few moments of internal debate, you couldn’t help yourself anymore. you climbed over top of him, situating your knees next to his hips, straddling him as he stirred awake.
a lazy smile played at his lips as his eyes peeked open, green orbs staring right back up at you as his hands found their home on your hips, “well, good morning, gorgeous.”
you smiled back at the boy underneath you, “good morning.”
you leaned down, giving his lips a soft kiss. he smiled against your lips, pulling you back down as you giggled into his mouth. his hand coming up to cup your cheek, deepening the kiss before he rolled the two of you over so he was hovering over you and you were on your back underneath him.
you laughed softly, his lips attaching to the skin of your neck, “lando,”
he hummed against you, hiking your leg against his hip in order to situate himself comfortably between your legs. your fingers tangled into his curls, tugging gently as he pushed the material of his your shirt, revealing the soft skin of your tummy. you smiled as he worked kisses down your body, stopping once his lips reached the waistband of the pajama shorts you lazily threw on the night before.
“c’mere,” he mumbled against your skin, pulling you down the mattress. you squealed as he pulled you closer, fingers working on the waistband before he was pulling them down your legs, absentmindedly tossing them behind him. not caring about where they ended up, you’d find them later.
he pressed wet and hot kisses to the skin of the inside of your thighs, taking his time. he was in no rush, and neither were you. if this was what it was like to wake up with him in the same bed every morning, god were you ecstatic.
“so pretty,” he said, eyes meeting yours, “can’t wait to wake up next to you everyday for the rest of my life.”
his words made your heart flutter and his actions made your stomach do somersaults. his lips finally traveling down to where you needed him, his tongue flattening against your pussy. you moaned at the contact, fingers immediately treading through his hair.
he moved in slow movements, soft kitten licks to your clit as your chest heaved with need. it was a pretty sight before you, the man you loved your whole life situated between your legs as his tongue worked against you slowly. his green eyes meeting yours made you moan again, this making him pick up the pace a bit.
“lando,” his name sounded so good falling from your mouth in a panting moan, “baby.”
and so did that nickname. good fuck, he was done for. there was never going to be anyone else for him other than you.
“yeah,” he mumbled, pulling away before he teased a finger against your slit, “like this, honey?”
you nodded as he pushed a finger inside you, adding a second one shortly after. you moaned louder this time, back threatening to arch off the mattress. he climbed up the length of your body, fingers continuing to pump in and out of you before his lips met yours in a kiss. you kissed him back with just as much love and need as he put into it, moaning into his mouth when his fingers curled to hit just the right spot.
“need you,” you whispered against his lips, “please.”
the sight of you begging for him was one he was sure he’d never get used to. a moan falling from his own lips this time when you reached between your bodies and palmed him through his boxers. he nodded, gently pulling his fingers out of you before pulling his boxers down and tossing them with your shorts. he pumped his dick in his hand a few times before looking down at you.
“ready?”
you nodded, his hand grabbing at your thigh to throw it against his hip. you locked it around his waist as he gently and slowly pushed into you, the both of you moaning against each others lips as he bottomed out. he stilled for a minute, letting you adjust as he placed kisses to your face.
you smiled, catching his lips before mumbling against them, “you can move now.”
and he complied, slowly rocking his hips against yours. your fingers finding the soft skin of his back as your nails dug into the muscles there.
“fuck,” he moaned, your lips kissing against his jaw. he picked his pace up slowly, the bed softly squeaking under you but neither of you seemed to care. too caught up in the feeling of the other. how he filled you up so perfectly.
“lando,” you moaned his name, “shit-“
“yeah, baby,” he said, hand slipping between you as he placed his fingers against your clit. he drew tight circles around it, causing you to throw your head back into the plush pillows, “like that?”
you nodded, “don’t stop,”
he brought a hand up, pushing the material of the shirt up all the way. he placed kisses down the valley of your breasts, slowly taking a nipple into his mouth. you moaned again and he looked up as your mouth hung open, your eyes meeting his as he let out a moan of his own.
“gonna come?” he asked, noticing how your thigh began to shake around his waist. you nodded, unable to speak as he brought your other leg up and wrapped it around his waist. the new position letting him go deeper.
“holy shit,” you breathed, “fuck-“
“c’mon baby,” he said, “come for me.”
the coil that had slowly built up in your lower abdomen had finally snapped, your back arching into his chest. your moans and the way you clenched around him making his head drop down to your neck, his own orgasm close behind you. your fingers dug into his shoulders, lips kissing his as he moaned into your mouth. his thrusts stopped abruptly before he pulled out of you, his hands moving to pump himself as he came. warm liquid coating your stomach as he panted above you, his hair fluffy and a sheen layer of sweat covering his forehead.
he caught his breath, watching as you took your pointer finger and swiped the liquid from your skin. his breathing getting caught in his throat as you popped the digit in your mouth, his eyes turning a shade darker as they met yours.
you smiled softly as he stared at you like a deer in headlights, not even noticing you had untangled from his limbs. you stood from the bed, t-shirt falling back down to the top of your thighs. you looked over your shoulder at the man you had left awestruck.
“coming?” you nodded towards the connected bathroom. he quickly got to his feet, following you into the room before pressing you up against the glass door of the shower. you chuckled as he kissed you, fidgeting to get the door open before he led you inside, turning the water on.
“i still have clothes on!” you giggled, but you should’ve known he’d have an answer for that.
“not for long,” he smirked against your lips, his hands working to quickly get rid of the material that now clung against your body. he tossed it out of the shower, not caring how it had landed in a wet heap on the tile floor.
he grabbed at the backs of your thighs, signaling you to jump. and you did, wrapping around him as he pressed you against the glass wall. a hand coming up to pin yours above your head as his tongue explored your mouth. you moaned against him, fully smitten and aware that he was about to have his way with you.
and god, you wanted nothing more.
#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x reader smut#lando norris x reader fluff#lando norris x reader imagine#lando norris x reader smut imagine#lando norris smut imagine#lando norris smut#ln4#ln4 x reader#ln4 imagine#ln4 fic#ln4 fluff#ln4 x y/n#ln4 x you#ln4 smut#ln4 x reader smut imagine#formula 1#formula one#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 fic#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 fanfic#lando norris fanfic#lando norris imagine#lando norris fluff#mclaren#mclaren formula one
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Max Verstappen x reader
Summary: Y/n has been secretly dating the formula 1 driver Max Verstappen but unfortunately their relationship is revealed by...a live stream.
You watched on the large screen, seeing your boyfriend dominate the track at the sport he loved.
You watched eagerly with your hands curling tightly at the material of your couch, not blinking afraid you would miss something.
sitting beside you were your clingy cats laying on your lap hoping to turn your attention from the screen to them.
As the minutes went by so was the race coming to an end, on the final lap was a battle between the Mclaren and Redbull. Both were neck to neck either one could win but in the end was current world champion who made it across the finish line first.
You jumped up in celebration, clapping your hands seeing your boyfriend with a look of pride.
You turned back to your cats only to be met by one of the stinkiest side eyes you have ever gotten. Sassy and Jimmy only hissed at you for a second before continuing to lay down on you.
You waited eagerly for your phone to ring hoping it was Max. And in no time their he was facetiming you in all he sweaty glory.
"I am so proud of you, baby", You spoke softly.
"I hope you were watching, Liefje", He said with a grin but he knew you always watched his race no matter the circumstances.
You blushed bashfully trying to hide your tomato face hearing his teasing laughter.
"I wish you ere here, Liefje", Max said changing the topic back to reality.
"You know I want to be there but I can't", You softly said. You want to be there truly to support Max at the sport he loves but you can't.
"I know, I'II call you later Okay", Max smiled trying to ease your worries.
"Okay", You softly said before hanging up the call turning your phone away from you in sadness.
You were a shy person who always kept towards themselves but after you met Max your life took a drastic turn to luxury. But your soft-spoken nature never change.
You were so afraid of what his fans might think of you, you decided to keep your relationship a secret. That was a year ago, Max has been supported about your decision but you could see the look on his face.
You could see how jealous he was seeing the other f1 drivers celebrating and being in love with their girlfriends and wives iin public while he can't.
You hate yourself seeing Max upset like that and you wish you get over you fear but it's just so hard...
You knew Max was going to come back tomorrow, and it was the perfect time to talk about your relationship.
As you went to sleep, you couldn't help but miss Max so much, It was these times that you wished you could go with him and be by his side.
As you woke up, you look terrible upon looking at the mirror seeing huge eye bags and your disheveled hair in disgust.
Taking a nice warm shower before getting ready for the day, putting on cute matching white outfits. As you walked towards the kitchen you saw Max..
You ran towards pulling him to a bone crushing hug.
"Hey Liefje, I missed you too", Max chuckled before embracing you equally as much before hearing the cats meow for more food.
"And I see the cats have missed you just as much", You said softly before scratching both of your cats behind the ear hearing them purr in pleasure.
"when did you get here", You said standing back up.
"While you were in the shower, you know I couldn't stay away for that long", Max smirk before putting little kisses all over your face.
"speaking of which, Max I want to talk to you", You spoke softly but no matter Max saw how serious you were.
You led him to the couch where you could both sit, Max sat next to you holding your hands in worry.
"What's wrong", Max frowned. His eyebrows creased on his forehead no matter how many times you told him not to do that.
As you took a deep breath, "I feel like...", but before you could continue Max stood up hastily interrupting you.
"No, I refused to break up, I love you so much. I see my future with you, please don't give up on us", Max desperately said before going on his knees to you.
"Max that was so sweet but that was not what I was going to say and I don't ever want to break up with you", You gently pulled his hands so he could sit next to you again.
"Baby, I want to make our relationship public, I think it's time-", before you finish your sentence Max stood up for the second time dancing in celebration.
"Huh, oh um are you sure Liefje", Max spoke out with his fake tone of worry. You nodded your head not even a second later seeing your boyfriend again danced in happiness.
You smiled seeing your boyfriend so happy, "So that means at the next race you will come with me", Max grinned ear to ear seeing you nod again.
Max was still riding high from your spectacle news, a smile plaster on his face for days. Some of the other drivers were even creeped out from Max constant smiles.
"Hmm Liefje, I gonna go stream with some of the guys", Max called out to you from the other room.
"Okay", you said softly before continuing the show you were watching.
You didn't know how the time got away from you that fast it was already 7:20 pm. And you were starving, too tired to cook you decided to ask what Max wanted to order out from.
You opened the door a little just enough to peak your head through. You signal Max waiting for him to see.
"Huh, okay guys I think that's enough live streaming for today. I will see you guys later", He smiled out before turning it off.
"Hey Liefje, don't worry the live stream is done", Max said standing up and waving you over.
You happily came over before wrapping your arms around Max pecking his lips softly.
"what do you want for dinner?, I'm thinking order in", you said softly brushing some of max hair away from his face to see his gorgeous blue eyes.
"What ever you want, Liefje", Max smiled swaying you gently.
"hmm what ab-", Before you could finish the red dot on the computer catch your eyes. "What does that red dot mean?".
Max quickly turned his head towards your direction before quickly scrambling to turn it off properly. After turning it off he sighed out in disapointment.
"Liefje, I am so sorry I didn't turn it off properly. I never meant our secret to come out like this", Max quietly said mumbling out incoherent sorry's, looking down in shame.
"It's okay, baby. We'll figure it out", you said gently rubbing his back trying to calm him down.
You and Max both turned off your phone, avoiding Max pr manager and all of social media not ready to face it yet.
"Don't worry this weekend is the race, we'll clear everything then right now let's not think about it", You gently spoke out trying to have Max understand it was not his fault and it was a simple accident. You could tell by his eyes and face how guilty he feels.
"Yeah..Okay", Max mumbles out.
Seeing Max go to sleep makes my heart burn for him..I hope everything goes well this weekend.
Liked by Username1, Redbullfan, and 304K others
F1gossip: rumors spiral around the paddock as we see a new WAG insight. It's a mystery who she is but It might be the same girl who Max accidentally revealed in the live stream. What do you think?
View all 2,427 comments
Username5: I can’t believe Max has a girlfriend
Redbullprincess: How do we even know it’s true?
Username7: Fr it could be like someone in his family or something
Maxiefan2: AWW their so cute
DuDuDuDu: I wish we knew who this girl was
Landonorris: What, WHAT! how could he not tell me
danielriccardo: HAHA, even I knew Username34: Daniel tell us what you know
Username98: She's not even pretty
Username20: Girl, just say your jealous
Liked by Maxverstappen1, alexandrasaintmleux, and 864K others
yourusername: I might be a Max Versappen fan but I am a Ferrari fan through and through 😉
View all 5,146 comments
maxverstappen1: betrayed by my own girlfriend
Yourusername: 🙄 I said what I said
Username23: OMG, its Max mystery girlfriend
alexandrasaintmleux: can't wait to see you again 🩵
Maxiefan4: Our pinterest girl
charles_leclerc: Everyone is a ferrari fan
yourusername: Omg brain freeze, huge fan maxverstappen1: Oh lord, this can't be happening charles_leclerc: Stay jealous Verstappen
Username45: Gorgeous, stunning, a princess
Username67: UM, not Max fighting with Charles
maxverstappen1: not my fault,he's trying to steal my girlfriend yourusername: Such a baby Username67: Didn't expect him to actually reply.
Maleguyusername: Your pretty
maxverstappen1: Hey back off, she's mine yourusername: What are you, a dog that needs to pee on their territiory 🐺 maxverstappen1: Acually I am a lion landonorris: CRINGE
Liked by DanielRiccardo, Redbull, and 3.5M others
maxverstappen1: Making this clear, my girlfriend is NOT a Ferrari fan and as you can see, she is wearing loud and proud redbull merch. So @charles_leclerc you suck. 🙂↕️
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yourusername: When have I ever said that
maxverstappen1: you didn't have too charles_leclerc: You broke my heart Y/n maxverstappen1: Yeah get over it
alexandrasaintmleux: I want to do a double date but I am scared how are these two children gonna act.
yourusername: who said they're coming, it's me, you and Leo charles_leclerc: really, taking my own son yourusername: he likes me better anyway🤷
Princessusername47: WOW, max is so petty, he even tagged charles
landonorris: thank godness it wasn't me Username47: Lando norris just responded back to me I could faint.
danielriccardo: How come I don't ever get an appreciation post!!
maxverstappen1: that's because you're not my girlfriend danielriccardo: EXSQUEEZE ME, um did our relationship mean anything to you yourusername: @danielriccardo get in line
RedbullUser53: I can't wait till they get married
Username870: Stop, best couple
redbullracing: Y/N, if I see you one more time in Ferrari gear, you can say bye bye to those vip passes to your favorite concert for your birthday
yourusername: did I say I was a Ferrari fan you must be mistaken, Always a redbull fan hehe. 😇 maxverstappen1: Liessssss🐍 yourusername: shut up, or you'll be sleeping on the couch 😙
Masterlist🩷
#f1#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#formula 1#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fic#max verstappen f1#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fanfic#mad max#max verstappen one shot#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x yn#max verstappen smut#f1 x female reader#f1 fanfic#charles leclerc x reader#lando norris x reader#daniel ricciardo#alexandra saint mleux#red bull racing#formula one#formula one x reader#formula one imagine#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 fanfic#mv#mv33
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shhhhHHHHHUTUPIDONTWANTTOTALKABOUTIT
-
The first time you sleep over Katsuki’s, it’s not long after he’s moved into his apartment with the rest of his friends.
Which is bold, the only one who doesn’t flirt with you any chance they get is Mina -mainly because she has her own place- but she’s always telling Katsuki that the minute you get bored with him, she’s there to swoop in.
But his friends waste no time in making sure to rile Katsuki up with cheesy pickup lines that mean nothing to you, but everything to him. He hates the idea of having his friends hit on you, but you’d be lying if riling him up wasn’t exhilarating.
You smile as you hear bare feet pad along the tiling of the kitchen, a massive presence looming behind you; it’s warm, loving, and you feel yourself relaxing at the closeness.
“Morning,” he rasps, arms wrapping around your waist. You smile and curl against him, tipping your head back to look at him.
“You hungry?”
“You didn’t have to make us breakfast,” he murmurs, pressing a loving kiss to the curve of your neck.
You mewl and bend your arm to wrap around him, “I know, I just wanted to do something nice for my man and his friends for being such good company last night.”
He grumbles, “don’t ever refer to my roommates as ‘good.’ Bunch of fucking menaces and creeps.”
“They can’t be too bad,” you hum, turning off the stove. God knows how long you’ll both be drooling with affection. “After all, you let me meet them,” you coo. “And you’d never let your little baby be put in danger.”
“Fucking hate when you call yourself that,” he snaps, spidering his fingers up your side. You squeal and shrink to the side, only to be met with pokes on the other. “Katsuki!”
“Don’t be a little shit and I won’t have to torment you,” he snickers. You’re quick to flick off the stove with what little movement your arms can give you while protecting you from tickles, and you duck as fast as you can under his caging limbs to escape.
He must like the challenge, because he lets you go, only to barrel after you into the living room. A small coffee table separates you both, and you’re at a standstill as you watch each other.
“Katsuki!” You giggle, making a sudden dart to try and throw him off your trail. It doesn’t deter him, like he’s able to predict what you’re going to do before you do. “Y-You’re gonna wake everyone up!”
“I’m not gonna do a fuckin’ thing,” he snorts. “You’re the one screaming and whining.”
“Am not!”
“Are too.”
“Am not!”
“Are too.”
“Are not-“
“I think it’s bold of you to argue with me instead of sprinting away.” He shrugs, making a dash for you and wasting no time in grabbing you into his big arms. You writhe and laugh in his grip, desperate to not shriek and wake his poor roommates. Giggles bubble wildly over your lips, and he hauls you back into the kitchen before plopping you onto the countertop, distant from the stove. You instinctively move your hands to card his blonde hair, and he leans in to steal the last of your giggles from your lips.
“How much time we got before breakfast burns?” He mumbles, hands smoothing up your thighs. Crimson eyes glimmer with mischief, and he bumps your nose with his.
You chuckle and shake your head, legs wrapping around his thick waist, “it was burning before you came in; I turned off the stove so it wouldn’t burst into flames.”
He snorts, “good.” One of the hands resting on the meat of your thighs comes up to grip your chin, “now I don’t have to rush.”
“Ew,” you giggle, but it dies as quickly as you said it when he connects your kiss, working his lips against yours in this own way, full of passion and love with just enough tease to have you whimper.
The hand on your cheek shifts down to rest on your delicate throat, dangling like a necklace. A subtle act of dominance to make you shiver.
“I love you,” you murmur against his lips.
“I love you more-“
“Ewwwww!!!”
“Who knew he had a weakness?”
“Lookin’ good, Dynamight!”
Immediately, Katsuki’s shoulders hike up as the shrill voices from his friends ring through the air. You let out a string of laughter while the other boys you were visiting peer around the wall of the apartment, Sero with a face of disgust, Kirishima with a playful understanding and Kaminari with a cheesy bite of his lip.
“I’m going to KILL YOU IDIOTS!” He barks, abandoning you to dash over to the trio, mainly targeting Kaminari and Sero, who sprint away as fast as they can. Kirishima chuckles and makes his way over to you, helping you off the counter with a sigh.
“How’s he ever going to keep being Number One if you keep doing this to him?”
You snort and elbow his ribs while somewhere in the house, Katsuki caught Denki, and the screams ring loudly in the walls.
“Shut up and help me remake breakfast, dickhead.”
#I MISSED WRITING FOR HIM U G H#bakugou katsuki#bakugou katsuki fluff#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou katsuki x gn!reader#bakugou katsuki x reader fluff#bakugou katsuki imagine#bakugou katsuki bnha#bakugou#bakugou fluff#bakugou x reader#bakugou x reader fluff#bakugou x gn!reader#bakugou imagine#bakugou bnha#bnha#bnha fluff#bnha x reader#bnha x reader fluff#bnha imagine#bnha x gn!reader#bnha x gender neutral reader#bnha x you#bnha x y/n#bnha x yn
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“oh, you poor thing…” you murmur, stroking megumi’s hair. he’d been caught in the rain during the walk home yesterday, and had come down with a bit of a cold. the seven year old is curled up next to you on the couch, his head resting in your lap.
you glare at satoru when he scoffs from his end of the couch, the tip of his nose rosy and dripping with snot. “i was caught in the rain too, you know.”
“take some nyquil.”
you don’t even bother to spare his suffering a glance.
“can i have hot chocolate?” the little brat asks, his request followed by a weak cough. “my throat hurts.”
it’s almost ten in the evening, and the kid’s already brushed his teeth. there’s no way you’d say yes—
“of course! i’ll make some for your sister too.”
satoru’s mouth falls open - because he can’t breathe through his nose and because he’s shocked. “can i have some too?”
“i’ll make you tea with lemon and ginger,” you reply, carefully adjusting megumi on the couch as you get up. you even steal his blanket, draping it over the kid’s curled up form.
megumi peeks one eye open as soon as you leave, and satoru swears the smirk that follows is directed at him.
people have told him that kids are supposed to be gifts. but later - when he’s watching a lame documentary and choking down some bitter lemon ginger tea as megumi is spoiled with sips of chocolately heaven - he thinks they must mean gifts from hell.
_____
your lips are brushing over satoru’s collarbone when he wonders if he’d locked the bedroom door.
but then you bite and all his concerns go out the window.
your breath is hot against his skin, picking up when his hands grip your waist. chests rising and falling, the two of you love in sync. slow, deep kisses are exchanged in time with gentle grinds—
“i’m hungry.”
it makes satoru startle, banging his head against the headboard as you sit up, stuttering as you both turn to face the doorway.
“megumi,” you gasp. “how long have you been standing there?”
the blush colouring his cheeks is answer enough.
“i’ll make you something to eat,” you offer, leaving your boyfriend with a very unfortunate situation as you climb off his lap, shooting an apologetic look over your shoulder as you herd megumi out of the room.
satoru swears the kid shoots him a smug grin over his shoulder.
this, he thinks glumly as he heads to the bathroom to try and calm himself down. this is why he needs to stop doing nice things.
_____
exhausted can’t even begin to describe the way satoru feels after a long day of bugging nanami and exorcising curses.
he’s practically dragging his body through the apartment towards the bedroom, wanting nothing more than to strip out of his uniform and fall into bed next to you.
but he can’t, because the first thing he sees when he opens the bedroom door is megumi hogging his side of the bed.
you press your index finger to your lips as soon as satoru opens his mouth to protest. “tsumiki’s at a sleepover,” you explain.
“so? i’ll carry him back to his room—”
you make a noise if protest, waving his hands away as you whisper, “it’s his first night here without her.”
hands on his hips, satoru examines the very little free space left on the bed. “so that means you’d let me sleep on the couch?”
he doesn’t like sleeping alone. hasn’t liked it ever since you’d moved in and he’d decided he liked waking to the warmth of your body next to his.
“well, you could sleep in megumi’s bed.”
“or you could wake him up,” he counters loudly on purpose, earning a shush and a glare from you in answer.
“this is a good thing,” you insist once you’ve ensured the kid’s still asleep. “it means he trusts us!”
“but i’m tired,” he whines, even stamping his foot a little for emphasis. “i wanna cuddle with you.”
“fine,” you relent with a little sigh. “but you have to wake him.”
gleefully, he goes to shake the kid awake. he’s about to do it, but all it takes is one look at the peaceful look settled over that little face. over the year he’d gotten to know megumi, he’s only ever worn a scowl, or a look of general boredom. so to see him like this, finally settled into the household…
it’s enough to make the sorcerer smile, even as he sets up the makeshift bed of blankets on the bedroom floor.
_____
“sharing is caring,” satoru proposes the next afternoon at the dinner table. it’s just him and megumi right now, as you’d just left to visit shoko. “so you can cuddle with her on the couch, but the bedroom is all me, got it?”
megumi frowns, staring at the list (can he even read yet? gojo has no idea) “but what about movie night?”
“fine, but only for a little bit. after that she’s all mine.”
he takes the kids shrug as agreement and moves on.
“knocking,” he starts with the utmost seriousness. “is a very important thing to do when any door is closed. and next time tsumiki is out, you’re the one sleeping on the floor.”
(they both know that’s not going to happen, but it doesn’t hurt to try.)
once the terms of their deal are finalized, they shake on it.
“so we’ve come to an understanding, good. because i’d rather have you as my bro than my foe,” he says, dragging the edge of his thumbnail across his throat for emphasis.
megumi rolls his eyes before sauntering off to his bedroom, and satoru sighs, letting his forehead hit the tabletop with a dull thud.
he’d fought off suitors vying for your attention before, but never one as tough to beat as this one.
#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#gojo fluff#keeping up with the fushigojos
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hi!!! i have a request for roommate!spencer where he's injured during a case and reader show up at the hospital because she's his emergency contact but the team is really confused wondering who's this stranger fussing over spencer. hope you like it, love you!
thank you for requesting honey!! love you<3 fem!reader
“Close your eyes,” you command, voice all blown up and grand, already smiling. “Close your eyes, Spencer.”
“No.” He squints groggily. “What are you doing?”
“Close your eyes.”
“No, Y/N, what are you doing?” he asks.
You shake your spray bottle at him. He sighs a long-suffering sigh and finally admits defeat, his tired eyes shuttering closed all too easily. You rest your knee on the side of his bed and hear the metal squeaking at your added weight, your hand gentle as you cover his forehead. “You have greasy hair,” you say sympathetically. “This is gonna feel much nicer.”
You blast him with dry shampoo, his brown hair turning white with powder. You drop the can in his lap and set about rubbing the powder into his hair until the grease is soaked up, and his hair feels less miserably lank.
“When are they gonna let you shower again?” you ask quietly.
You’re still touching his hair. More for him than you, you hope he feels comforted, but mostly you just wanna affirm to yourself that he’s all in one bruised piece. Your heart still aches as much as it did when you got the phone call in the first place —Spencer Reid’s next of kin?
You suppose that’s you.
“I don’t know.”
You take his hair back into his current parting. “Well, let’s hope it’s soon. How are you liking the sponge baths? Are they awful?”
“Humiliating.”
Just outside of Spencer’s hospital room, Hotch and JJ stand together with a bag of essentials. They’d drawn to a sudden stop when they realised Spencer had company. “Who is that?” she asks.
Hotch, used to knowing everything, frowns very deeply. He doesn’t know who you are, but from the way you’re touching Spencer’s hair and face, he should.
JJ sounds a little put out. “She doesn’t work here.”
“No, I don’t think so,” Hotch says. His frown lightens as you laugh and scratch Spencer’s hair back behind his ears.
“Is it unkind of me to think he didn’t have any friends?” JJ asks.
Hotch knows Spencer has friends. He’s summoned Spencer from chess games and fan clubs, picking him up occasionally on the way to the office on cafe sidewalks as he waved goodbye to a glasses-wearing bibliophile, often in coats too big for them or with hair in need of a trim. Spencer attracts the unconventional because he, as anybody in this line of work tends to be, is inordinary. So JJ probably is being unkind, but Hotch knows what she means.
You look completely regular. You settle on one thigh on his bed while the other keeps you up and put your hand on his chest, chatting breezy words they can’t hear through the glass.
Spencer curls into you slowly.
“You’ll be home soon,” you say, rubbing his shoulder, “don’t worry.”
Hotch’s eyebrows rise of their own accord. He and JJ excuse themselves for coffee before they’re spotted, and when they return, you’re gone. “Spence, who was that girl?” JJ asks. Hotch notes the slightest line of jealousy tugging under her curiosity.
He sounds as though he could use some more pain medication, and a good night's sleep, but he’s proud as he says, “That’s my roommate. I told you about her.”
“Ah, your roommate,” Hotch says.
“What’s that mean?” Spencer asks.
“Nothing, Spencer,” Hotch says, using the young man’s first name in a rare show of affection. “That’s just an irregular word for it. I haven’t heard it in a while.”
JJ laughs. Spencer hides his face with both hands, a smudge of lip balm on his hand shining under the stark hospital fluorescents. “I’m too tired,” he complains.
Hotch hadn’t seen you kiss him, but he can imagine how it might have happened, how you’d leaned in for a kiss on the cheek goodbye and Spencer overwhelmed himself thinking about it. Or maybe it’s just an innocuous smudge. Maybe it’s nothing at all.
“We live together,” Spencer mumbles. “I couldn’t afford to live by myself at first, it’s D.C.”
“And now?” Hotch asks. He knows Spencer is on good enough money to afford an apartment by himself these days, a big one. He has no dependents.
“Didn’t seem fair… She’s nice. She’s, like, my best friend.”
“Don’t let Morgan hear you say that,” JJ laughs.
Hotch isn’t sure she gets it, but he does. “Well, you can ask her to come back. We have work to do.”
Spencer pretends he’s hesitant to pick up the phone. Your reply is an immediate beep. Hotch knows a good friend when he sees one.
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction
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baby get me off again
bf!rafe cameron x fem!reader
cw — p in v, unprotected sex, cockwarming, brief breast play, this is lowk short
summary — after a long stressful day, you want nothing other than rafe.
a/n — trying to get back into consistent writing so please request!!
do not copy or post my work anywhere else.
your day had started shitty from the moment you woke up. your shower was only producing cold water, your yogurt you usually had for breakfast was moldy, your boss was being a dick, and the cold air in your car wasn’t working properly. it was safe to say that you were in a pretty bad mood now.
part of you felt bad for ignoring your boyfriend when you arrived to your shared apartment but the other part just wanted to curl up and sleep and never leave the bed again.
when you’d walked straight past rafe with nothing but an unbothered “hi,” he knew something was up. you’d been together long enough for him to read you instantly. so he naturally followed you to the bedroom, asking what was wrong a thousand times even though you weren’t answering.
that led you here. both of you completely bare with your legs on either side of his thighs and his cock nestled deep inside of you. there was a movie playing behind you but you couldn’t see it nor did you really even care to. rafes big hands were holding your hips, rolling them every now and then to make you sigh in relief.
his lips were attached to your left breast, sucking and kissing at the fragile skin there. it only made the pool of slick between your legs grow and the need build up tighter in the pit of your stomach. he squeezed at the fat of your thighs momentarily before returning to your hips and pushing them forward so your stomach was pressed to his.
“so fuckin’ pretty,” he mumbled against your breast, now moving his head to switch to your right one. “this what you needed? jus’ to be all nice and full?”
you nodded and hummed in agreement as your hands cradled his head and played with the long strands of hair. “mhm, feels so good.”
he smiled against your skin, releasing your nipple with a wet pop and spit slicked lips. “yeah? my dick filling you up good?” he moved one of his hands to gently press at your tummy, feeling the imprint of his tip. “so fuckin’ tight, sweet girl. always so perfect.”
burying your head into his shoulder, your hips jerked involuntarily and you let out a muffled moan at the feel of him hitting that sensitive spot inside you for a second. “‘s so good, rafe,” you mumbled.
he chuckled and held you closer to him, keeping you seated snug on his length. “you done with that bitchy attitude shit?”
“mhm, i promise,” you mumbled breathlessly as his tip now rested against that spongy spot that made you see stars. “promise i’ll be good.”
he turned his head to the side to press a soft kiss to your temple, giving your ass a gentle loving squeeze. “such a good girl,” he muttered into your ear. “i love you, angel.”
you smiled into his hair and hugged him tighter. “i love you too, rafe.”
#gracie writes rafe cameron 🌺#rafe cameron#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron imagine#rafe x you#rafe smut#rafe cameron x reader#rafe obx#outerbanks rafe#outer banks#rafe cameron obx#obx
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Do Not Wait - M.S
a/n: this got heavier than i planned initially but i just leaned into wherever the story took me. it's also very reader focused, which i realized way too late. but, do not fret, matt is still in it :) lmk if you'd like me to continue this as a series... i hope yall like it, im proud of it.
summary: while matt is away, reader learns and struggles with some unexpected news that will change both their lives forever.
warnings: mentions of pregnancy, vomit, blood, death, grief, panic attacks, cursing. (no use of y/n)
word count: 11.7k
song: do not wait - wallows
"And it gets worse before it gets better That's one thing that I have come to know Just so you know"
“I hate to leave you like this,” Matt sighs, pushing my hair out of my face as his dark silhouette sits beside me on the bed.
I lay curled up in a ball after spending majority of the night sick. I feel terrible because I kept Matt up when he had to be up early for his flight to Chicago today.
Despite my attempts to avoid disturbing him, he spent most of the night beside me, rubbing my back while I hunched over the toilet and bringing me water.
I toss and turn, unable to find a comfortable position as my restlessness and nausea worsen by the second.
Matt’s hand touches my forehead, gently pushing my hair back and mindlessly scratching my head. I sit up as another wave of nausea twists my stomach, and I take a deep breath, hoping to suppress it. Matt sits up behind me, his hand now rubbing my back as I lean over the side of the bed with my head between my knees.
Thankfully, a moment later the wave of sickness passes and I sit up straight with a small groan as my body aches.
“I’m going to sleep on the couch. I don’t want to get you sick, and you have to be up in a few hours,” I croak, but he protests, gently pulling me back into bed.
"I don't give a fuck. I'll sleep on the plane, you're staying right here,"
As the morning light begins to filter through the curtains, Matt’s alarm goes off. By then, we had maybe collectively slept an hour and I knew he must have been exhausted. He got ready quietly trying his best not to disturb me, but I was already awake.
I don’t think sleep is in the cards for me tonight.
He places the back of his hand on my forehead, then my cheek, his touch gentle and searching.
“You still don’t have a fever...I don’t know if that’s good or bad,” He sighs, his fingers sifting through my hair with a tenderness that makes my heart ache.
Even with the faint light of dawn as our only source, I can still make out his concerned expression as he scans my face.
“I've never been this sick before. It must be a bug,” My voice is hoarse from repeatedly throwing up.
“Please, stay here with Nick while I’m gone so you have someone to look after you. I’m gonna text him now so he sees it when he wakes up. God, I don’t even want to go anymore,” He wipes his hand down his face in stress and I shake my head.
“No, stop, don’t worry about me. I’m gonna be fine. I’ll stay here with Nick. Please don’t be late for your flight,” I insist, gripping his hand weakly. “I’m going to make some tea and try to get some rest.” I go to get up but he puts his hand on my shoulder.
“I’ll make you tea, while we wait for the Uber. What do you want, mint?” He asks softly, his hand rubbing up and down my hip.
I nod weakly, thanking him.
I doze off a bit while he goes to make my tea, the repercussion of not sleeping catching up to me. When I open my eyes again, he’s setting my steaming mug on the bedside shelf carefully and placing two advils next to it.
“Text me when you wake up? And let me know if you have to go to urgent care, I’ll send you an Uber.” He tells me softly, his voice trembling with an emotion he’s trying to hide.
His reluctance to leave is evident in every line of his face.
I nod tiredly, “Mm, text me when you and Chris land. Have fun in Chicago. I love you.”
“I love you,” He kisses my forehead, before grabbing his suitcase by his bedroom door and leaving.
I was able to sleep a couple of more hours before I woke up again, dry heaving into the toilet because I quite literally had nothing left in my stomach.
I showered, brushed my teeth and went into the kitchen, searching for something bland to settle my stomach. I had decided to grab a rice cake and made more mint tea before I sprawled out on the couch in one of Matt’s hoodies.
It’s not the first time he’s been away, but this time, I miss him more than I anticipated. Even the scent of his hoodie brings a wave of emotion that catches me off guard.
We’ve never been one of those couples that spends every second of every day together anyway. Not even when we first started dating. We’ve always given each other the space we need.
But I must admit I could go for one of his hugs right now.
It’s around 10 AM when Nick comes down stairs and his face tells me everything I need to know about my appearance.
“I know, I look like shit.” I deadpan and he covers his mouth with wide eyes.
“I got Matt’s texts...I thought that motherfucker was being dramatic. Are you feeling any better?” He asks with a hand on his chest.
“Well, I haven’t thrown up in three hours, so that’s a new record. Your poor brother, I kept him up all night,”
“He'll live, do you want to go to urgent care?”
“No, I’ll wait it out. It’s gotta pass and I was able to keep my breakfast down.” I wave a hand.
Nick goes to make his own breakfast, slicing an apple before coming over to sit on the couch with me.
“Apple?” He offers me, munching on his own bite.
I decline shaking my head with a frown.
Nick wanted to watch Love Island, so I let him change the TV, feeling my eyelids grow heavy. As the sounds of the show filled the room, I found myself dozing off, giving in to the rest my body needs.
When I wake up, I have a blanket over me and Nick is editing on his laptop.
He notices me move and takes his headphones off one ear.
“Hey, you feeling better? Matt keeps pestering me for updates,” He shows me his phone with messages from a worried Matt.
I sigh, “Jesus...I’ll call him. But yes, I feel better now that I've gotten some sleep.” I get up and stretch my body, wincing at my achy muscles.
“How long was I out?” I ask grabbing my phone to see my own set of messages from Matt.
Kid worries too much.
“About 3 hours, you were knocked out. I’m gonna order food, are you hungry for anything?” He asks and my stomach rumbles at the thought of one food.
“I could fuck up some tacos right now,” I raise an eyebrow at him at my suggestion.
“I like the way you’re thinking.” He snaps his fingers pointing at me in agreement.
“Birria tacos for me and a Diet Coke. I’ll be right back, I’m gonna go call your brother before he has a heart attack.” I say walking to Matt’s room and calling him.
He picks up on the first ring.
“Hey,” He breaths out, his voice soft.
“What did I tell you about worrying about me?” I tease him and he laughs, sounding relieved.
"Hi!" I heard Chris shout in the background, before I heard a door close and Matt sigh. I'm guessing he went into a separate room.
“If you saw the state you were in before I left this morning, you’d be worried too. I take it you’re feeling better? Heard you napped,” He speaks up again, talking at a normal volume now.
“I was physically feeling the state I was in. But, yeah, a little better after my nap. How was your flight?” I ask, playing with the trinkets on his shelves.
“Besides me worrying the entire flight about you dehydrating and dying? Fine. A little turbulence, but nothing crazy.”
“Okay, drama, relax. I’m staying hydrated, I’ve napped, Nick and I are about to order some tacos. It must have just been a bug. I must admit, you're very cute when you worry about me though.” I smile and he hums shly.
A beat of silence goes by and I look at the photobooth picture of Matt and I on his wall.
“I miss you,” I admit to him, leaning down to inhale the collar of his sweatshirt on me.
“I miss you too. You know I haven't even been gone 12 hours though,” He reminds me, sounding amused at my unexpected sappyness.
I sigh, “I know,”
Suddenly I have a lump of emotion in my throat and he automatically hears the switch of my tone.
“Hey woah, what happened? Why are you upset?” He sounds panicked.
“Oh my god, sorry. I don’t know. I’m not even sad,” I choke back my tears.
“Doesn’t sound like it.." He doesn't sound convinced. "Do I need to come home?" He says next and I'm immediately objecting.
“What! No. Matt, I promise I’m fine.” I tell him quickly, taking off my hoodie as I begin to overheat.
“I love you... I’ll be back before you know it, okay? S'nothing we haven’t done before.” He reminds me softly and my bottom lip wobbles.
“Mhm,” I manage to get out and he sighs again.
“Sweetheart... You’re telling me not to be worried, but I’m beyond worried. Can you please tell me what’s wrong?” He pleads and I shake my head even though he can't see me.
“I honestly couldn’t tell you...I-i think I just needed to cry, and missing you isn’t helping because I wish I could hug you but you’re so f-far,” I hiccup.
“Okay, deep breaths, how about you take a nice hot shower–maybe a bath. Use Nick’s bath and when you’re done, you can eat your tacos and you’ll feel better. Okay? Listen, Chris and I are about to leave for dinner, are you going to be alright?” He checks in, sounding hesitant to hang up.
“Yes, I’m fine. Seriously. I’m sorry. I must be starting my period soon.” I compose myself, trying to ignore the sudden ache in my heart.
“It’s okay,” he says softly, his voice gentle and sweet.
Any other time, he’d be teasing me for being a crybaby—lovingly, of course—but I think he senses that my emotions are genuinely beyond my control right now.
“I love you,” he says again with emphasis, wanting to hear me say it back.
“I love you, so much," I say weakly, "Have fun at dinner and tell Chris I said hi.” I tell him, wiping my eyes.
“Will do. I’ll call you when we get back.” He says goodbye, hanging up.
I take a deep breath and I shake my head, feeling frustrated with my poorly-timed emotions. I feel terrible for worrying him more, I wanted this trip for him to be fun. Chris had really been looking forward to going with Matt—it had become a sort of tradition for the two of them. I need to get my emotions under control.
I wince again as I feel the heaviness and soreness in my breasts. Sighing, I go to my phone and check my period app to see when this torture will be over.
My stomach drops when I open the app and see I'm 13 days late.
My head feels dizzy suddenly and I pinch my eyes closed as the pit in my stomach spurs on more nausea. I lay back and put my arm over my eyes and take deep breaths.
My mind races, but I can’t seem to focus on one thought.
No, I can’t be.
I’m just stressed, that’s all.
I have an IUD, it's not possible.
But everything's adding up; the nausea, heightened emotions, late period...
I sit up slowly, feeling the weight of the realization settle on me. My heart pounds in my chest and I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to block out the flood of emotions threatening to drown me. But there’s no escaping this.
With trembling hands, I go to call Matt back, my thumb hovers over the call button but I stop myself. He’s going to dinner right now, on the opposite side of the country.
I can't burden him with this, not when I don’t even know for sure.
Dropping my phone onto the bed beside me, I try to self soothe, taking deep breaths to steady myself, but the anxiety is relentless.
I walk out of the room and Nick is asking me what kind of salsa I want with my tacos before he looks up at me. He immediately furrows his brows in worry.
“Hey–what's going on, are you okay?” He sits up and places his laptop on the coffee table.
“I-I can't breath,” I gasp, reaching out for him, feeling like a little kid.
He instantly stands up, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.
“What’s happened? Deep breaths, big deep breaths. There you go,” He rubs my back and I breath deeply with him.
My cheek smushed into his chest as I listen to the beating of his heart to help ground me. I pull away, still trembling and shake my head, unsure if I should even be telling Nick this.
This should be Matt.
Nick's eyes search mine, sensing my hesitancy. “You don’t have to talk if you’re not ready,” he says softly, his hands rubbing my shoulders.
I bite my lip, feeling a mix of guilt and desperation.
I don’t want to drag Nick into something so personal, but this is too overwhelming to keep bottled up.
“I… I think I might be pregnant,” I finally whisper, the words barely escaping my lips.
Saying it out loud makes it feel all the more real, and the weight of it presses down on me like a ton of bricks.
Nick’s expression shifts from worry to shock, his mouth falling agape and silence ringing between us. Once he hears me whimper, he snaps out of it and brings me back into a bone crushing hug.
"Shh, okay–it's okay, um…” His voice wavers, and I can feel his heart racing against my cheek.
For a moment, it seems like he’s trying to find the right words, but all that comes out is a nervous laugh.
“This is… wow, this is big. I'm sorry– I don't know what else to say right now,” His voice high pitched and shaky.
I can’t help but let out a shaky laugh with him, even through my anxiety.
“Yeah, big,” I agree, my voice barely above a whisper.
Nick pulls back just enough to look at me, his uncertainty showing in the way his eyes dart around, trying to process everything at once.
“I mean, I’m no expert on this—obviously—but we'll figure this out. You're gonna be okay, everything's gonna be okay.”
His reassurance is genuine, but I can see he's trying to convince himself too; a flicker of doubt in his eyes.
This is uncharted territory for both of us.
Nick and I had decided to order the tests along with the food, killing two birds with one stone. He’s doing his best to stay calm for my sake, but the trembling of his hands as he places the order is hard to miss.
"Okay, tacos and tests are on the way. I got, well, all of them because I don't know which one is best. I even got ice cream. Fuck, when did it get so hot in here? I'm overheating–are you overheating?" He says, his words moving a mile a minute as he fans himself with his shirt.
I can't help but to laugh as his nerves show and he shakes his head.
"I'm sorry, I know you're the one potentially knocked up by my idiot brother but I'm just so nervous. I'm sweating like a monster," His voice cracks.
"Do you mind if I use your bath?" I ask and he nods right away.
“Are you kidding? Of course, go ahead. Someone has to use it. I’m gonna…Well, I’ll just wait out here and try to chill.” He gives me a quick, reassuring smile, though it’s clear he’s still on edge.
I head to his bathroom and try to forget about my racing thoughts.
I turn the faucet on and put in some bath salts, checking the temperature before I step over to the vanity mirror. I take a look at my appearance and notice the puffiness in my face right away. My cheeks are flushed and my eyes are bloodshot.
I blow out a raspberry as I undress and get into the hot water.
The heat soothes my aching muscles and clears my mind. I soaked for a while, even draining a bit of the water and refilling the tub with more hot water. Once I feel myself pruning, I decide it's time I get out.
As I dry myself off, I notice light blood on the towel. My heart races, and I quickly check again—I'm bleeding. Very lightly, but there’s blood.
Relief floods through me, and I almost cry again, this time from the emotional whiplash. My legs feel shaky, so I sit down on the edge of the tub to steady myself, my breath coming out in shaky bursts.
Clutching the towel to my chest, I close my eyes and let out a long, relieved sigh.
“Thank God,” I whisper, feeling tears prick at the corners of my eyes.
I try not to dwell on the small part of me that almost wanted to feel disappointed. Maybe even mourning the part of me that might have embraced being pregnant–excited, even.
Instead, I focus on center of my emotions, the part where a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Eventually, I pull myself together, cleaning myself up and getting dressed.
When I step out of the bathroom, Nick is on his bed, clearly trying to keep himself distracted. My eyes go to the food and the tests at the foot of the bed.
As soon as he sees me, he shoots up, his expression immediately shifting to one of concern.
“You okay?” he asks, his voice soft. I nod, a small smile breaking through the lingering anxiety.
“I’m okay,” I say, my voice a little shaky. “I uh…I got my period, I think,”
Nick’s face lights up with relief, his shoulders visibly relaxing. “Oh, thank God,” he shouts, “This is great fucking news—right?” He checks in and I nod.
“Yeah,” I agree, feeling a little dazed by how quickly everything has turned around. “I think we’re in the clear. We won't be needing those tests, I'll pay you back for them,"
Nick ignores me, pulling me into a bear hug, his arms so tight around me, I can barely breath.
“Shut up I don't care,” he says, “You don't have a parasite in you!" He cheers, jumping us up and down.
We both let out laughs, the tension that had been looming over us now replaced with a lightness.
“Let’s eat,” I suggest, letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding.
Nick nods, "Couldn't agree more,"
We sit on his bed and for the first time all day, I feel like I can actually breathe.
As we dig into the tacos, Nick puts Love Island back on and we rot in bed for a few hours.
But even as we talk and laugh, there's still a pit in my stomach. A small portion of me can’t shake the feeling that this isn’t over yet.
Yeah, there's was blood. But it was different than my normal period. It was lighter.
I try not to panic, but I can't help but feel like my intuition is trying to tell me something. For now, I push my thoughts aside, focusing on Nick beside me yelling at the annoying horny people on his TV.
Nick offered for me to sleep in his room but I declined, wanting to sleep in Matt's bed.
Matt never called me, but he texted me apologizing and checking in on me. I listened to a voice memo he sent me of all they did today and I was genuinely glad he was having fun, so I didn't mind him not calling.
Plus, I'm not entirely sure I'm in the right state of mind to have a conversation with him right now. I wouldn't be able to keep today's events to myself.
I know I can’t keep him in the dark—I need to tell him what’s going on.
I glance at the stack of tests on his dresser and sigh. The bleeding from earlier has stopped, leaving me with a pit in my stomach.
I know I’ll have to take those tests, even if only for clarity. But for now, I’m going to force myself to sleep.
I find myself in a place that feels both familiar and strange. It's warm, the sun showering the garden and I immediately know I'm in my grandmother's backyard.
The breeze picks up, carrying the scent of blooming flowers—lilies, hyacinths, peonies, and marigolds—enveloping me in a peacefulness that feels like a comforting blanket.
I walk along the familiar stone path, my fingers grazing the soft petals of the flowers. Each step feeling like a compelling, magnetic pull, guiding me deeper into the garden.
I see her then–my grandmother, seated on a wooden bench beneath the shade of the large oak tree I used to climb as a child.
My breath hitches, she doesn't look sick. Her smile is lively, her cheeks rosy and the green in her eyes vibrant.
But there’s something else different, a kind of ethereal glow about her that sends a chill down my spine.
“Come here, my girl,” she says, her voice soft and inviting.
I walk over to her, feeling a strange mix of emotions: comfort, longing, and an inexplicable sadness.
I sit down beside her and she takes my hand in hers, her touch warm and reassuring.
“I’ve missed you,” I say, my voice thick with emotion, unable to fathom her not sick in a hospital bed.
She smiles, her eyes full of love. “I haven't gone anywhere."
There’s a pause as I try to process her words, but then she looks at me knowingly, another shiver down my spine.
"You're glowing," She hums, tucking my hair behind my ear.
I look at her confused until she places a hand to my stomach. My breath hitches and I can't control the tear that rolls down my cheek.
I shake my head in disbelief, "How...d-do you know?" I whisper, my voice getting lost in the intoxicating breeze.
It's then that I feel a deep flutter in my stomach, one that I can't describe.
I place my hand over my grandmother's that still rests on my stomach. The flutter intensifies, my heart mimicking the pattern as warmth blooms in my chest. The feeling is overwhelming.
An unexpected, joyous sob escapes my lips before I can stop it, tears blurring my vision.
“You're both going to be okay,” My grandmother says softly, gently wiping away my tears.
My lip wobbles and I let out a shaky breath before she speaks up again.
“She’s strong too, just like you.”
“She..?” I squeak. My grandmother’s smile returns, softer this time and she nods.
A wave of shock and confusion washes over me, but before I can ask more, the garden begins to fade. The colors bleeding into each other until everything is a swirl of light.
Her voice echoes as the dream dissolves, “Don't be afraid, Petal.”
I shoot up, my heart racing, my face soaked in tears and my body covered in a cold sweat. I feel disoriented as I take in my surroundings and my mind tries to grasp the remnants of the dream.
My grandmother’s face, her words, the fluttering in my stomach. But now, that fluttering has turned into a twisting feeling in my gut.
Something was wrong.
My phone buzzes, startling me out of my tangled, fuzzy thoughts. My hands tremble slightly as I reach for my phone.
It’s my mom.
“Hello?” I answer, my voice thick with sleep and confusion.
There’s a pause on the other end, and then my mom’s voice comes through, shaky and heavy with emotion.
“Honey...I'm sorry I'm calling you so early, but it’s Grandma....Sh-she passed in her sleep early this morning.”
The words hit me like a punch in the gut, and for a moment, I can’t breathe. She continues to talk but I can't hear her, my ears ring and time slows down.
A flood of emotions overcome me.
Grief, shock, and the strange sense that the dream was more than just a figment of my imagination.
As the reality of her passing sinks in, I’m left with the weight of her final words to me. She was telling me something important, something I can’t ignore anymore.
My stomach twists again and I bolt to the bathroom where I throw up until I'm dry heaving into the toilet.
-
I'm not even shocked when the test immediately shows up positive. I stare blankly at the two pink lines, the only hint of emotion is the tremor in my hand as I grab the test and chuck it into the trash can.
I feel numb.
Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I see the emptiness in my eyes, the darkness encasing them. The person staring back is a stranger.
I'm pregnant.
I should be feeling joy, maybe even excitement—I want to at least, but all I feel is nothing. My experience overshadowed by my grief. By the anomaly of this situation, how this could have happened.
I have an IUD, I was bleeding, but here we are.
I wanted Matt to be the first to know, to share in that moment with him, but now everything feels wrong, out of order.
I feel robbed of the happiness I should be feeling.
I step into the shower and let the scalding hot water claw at my skin. I finally let myself break down, grief rattling through me and slicing me open.
My dream replays in my mind over and over again. My grandmother's eyes, her warmth, her words, her hand on my stomach.
“You’re both going to be okay,”
My hand instinctively goes to my stomach. I press my palm into my abdomen, expecting to feel that flutter, desperate to feel any sort of connection with the life that's there–to cling to the intense joy from my dream...but there's nothing.
It was ripped away from me from the moment I woke up.
“She’s strong too, just like you,”
I whimper, the sound dissolving into the rush of the water.
I don’t feel strong. I feel weak.
My grandmother told me not to be afraid, but I can’t escape this overwhelming anxiety, the suffocating uncertainty that engulfs me.
The tightness in my chest, the heaviness in my heart, the deep-seated guilt that festers within me.
I cry and cry and cry until I can’t anymore, until the tears run dry, leaving only the ache in my chest.
When the water turns cold and the sun fully rises, is when I finally get out. My feet drag beneath me as I walk back into Matt's room and get dressed.
I pull on one of Matt's crewnecks and some sweats before I go into the kitchen to make a tea.
I make myself an Earl Grey, my grandmother's favorite.
I sit down at the dining table and book the first flight back home to Maine, which is tomorrow morning. My mom and I spoke again and she told me the funeral isn't until next week, but I wanted to be there for her. I couldn’t stay here right now.
My stomach growls loudly and I press my palms into my eye sockets. I suppose I should really eat something with substance, especially now.
I grab the berries from the fridge that are in their last leg, washing them before forcing myself to eat. The tartness of the blueberries sparks a memory of helping my grandmother make blueberry pancakes on Sunday mornings. I smile sadly at the fond memory of being her little sous chef.
When 7 AM rolls around, restlessness overtakes me and I step outside, sitting in the front stoop before calling Matt.
"You're up early," His voice thick with sleep as he greets me through the line.
"Hey," I say weakly, letting out a sigh as I gaze up at the clear sky. There's not a single cloud in sight.
"What's wrong?" His tone immediately shifts to concern.
"Matt... my grandma passed this morning," I start, my voice trembling slightly.
I omit the dream and the positive pregnancy test in his bathroom, grateful that he can't see my face.
There's a heavy sigh on the other end. "I'm so sorry. I know she was sick for a while... Are you doing okay? How's your mom?"
"I'm... managing. And my mom, she's actually doing okay. I think we're all relieved in a way, you know? It was only a matter of time. I'm just glad she's not suffering anymore," I navigate my feelings about her passing, my voice surprisingly steady.
"Of course," His voice is so soft, fueling my longing for his touch.
"Do you think…there's any way you can change your flight on Tuesday to go to Maine? The funeral isn’t until next Thursday, but I’m getting there tomorrow afternoon." I ask, playing with a loose string on my sweatpants.
"Of course, I'll look at flights right now," he responds without hesitation.
"Thank you, I just....I need you there," I tell him, feeling a tightness in my chest when I avoid mentioning the conversation we need to have.
"I'll be there. I found a flight that will get me there tomorrow night."
"Matt–" I start to protest.
"I already changed it. No refunds," He cuts me off, his voice firm. "Sweetheart, you need me, I'm not going to make you wait until fucking Tuesday."
"What about the rest of your trip? You'll miss the rest of the festival, and Chris–" I try and reason with him.
"Listen to me carefully...I don't give a fuck about the festival. You need me there, and I'm going to be there. Chris will be fine, he's a big boy. He has Sam here with him and they'll fly back to LA together," His tone leaving no room for argument, his mind was made up.
A small, grateful smile tugs at my lips as tears well up in my eyes.
"I love you," I manage to say, my voice trembles with emotion.
"I love you, so much it hurts. I wish I could hug you right now but I'll see you tomorrow, okay? I’m gonna go talk to Chris, text me or call me if you need me. I mean it, kid."
“I will,” I promise, ending the call and looking up at the sky again, wrapping my arms around myself as the cool morning air brushes against my skin.
I take a deep breath, the air filling my lungs grounding me. As I exhale, I try to focus on the one thing I know for sure—I may not feel strong, but I need to be and not just for myself, but for the life growing inside of me.
My grandmother's words echo in my mind.
"Don't be afraid, Petal."
–
Nick wakes up shortly after, only taking one look at me before I’m breaking down again—the weight of everything crashing down on me like another tidal wave.
I tell him everything, my dream, my grandmother's passing, I show him the positive pregnancy test.
I cry into his chest, feeling overwhelmed.
"I'm just s-so confused," I manage to say between sobs. "In my dream, I was so happy... everything felt right. I felt connected with..." My words trail off, dissolving into incoherent blubbering.
Nick just listens, rubbing my back in slow, soothing circles.
"Listen," he begins softly, "your body is under a lot of stress right now. You just found out about your grandma, and then this very unexpected news on top of it… Every single emotion you’re feeling is normal, and 100 percent valid. But you have so many people by your side who love you and will help you through this, no matter what you decide..."
I sniffle, trying to regulate my breathing as I take in his words.
"I'm angry, too," I admit, my voice cracking with the strain of holding it all in. "This is so unfair. The timing of this couldn't be worse... I can't even talk to Matt and I feel awful keeping this from him. He shouldn't have to find out like this."
"Everything is going to be okay, deep breaths," Nick repeats, his voice calm as he helps me process the flood of emotions.
I blow out a raspberry, pulling back and running my hands down my face in frustration. When I look at him, he's watching me cautiously, trying to read my expression.
"I'm pregnant," I say softly, the words finally leaving my lips for the first time.
A mix of emotions swirls in my chest and stomach—fear, uncertainty, a strange kind of acceptance.
Nick nods slowly, his eyes still scanning my face, and for a moment, I find myself imagining if this was me telling Matt.
More dread fills me.
How will he react? Will he be the support I need?
We’ve talked about having kids before. They were always in the cards for us, but never this soon.
We only just started to discuss getting our own place and now our lives are going to be changing forever.
Nick helped me pack as I tried to arrange a last-minute appointment to confirm my pregnancy, which proved to be quite the ordeal.
The receptionists initially inform me that they didn't have any openings for weeks. However, when I mention the IUD and a positive pregnancy test, the urgency in their voice shifted dramatically.
They told me to come in right away.
The urgency in the receptionists voice on the phone didn’t help my nerves. Neither when they took me straight into an examination room the minute I told them my name.
They take my vitals, draw my blood and give me a cup to pee in.
I left Nick in the waiting room, dressing down into the gown they placed neatly on the exam chair. I look around at the diagrams of the fetuses and the posters of the development. I’ve seen these countless times and never thought twice, but this time I feel unsettled.
I swallow thickly and sit on the loud crinkly paper with the anticipation of the doctor coming in soon.
There’s a soft double knock on the door before a head of wild, curly hair peeks in.
“Hello, hello. I’m Dr. Sullivan,” She says washing her hands and sitting down on the swivel stool next to the examination chair.
The woman has a mane of big, unruly curls that frame her face, with chunky black square-framed glasses perched on her slightly humped nose, drawing attention to her bright hazel eyes. A wide smile, complete with a distinctive gap between her two front teeth, radiates warmth and adds to her quirky charm. She almost seems like a character out of a cartoon—lanky, with an energetic, bouncy stride that matches her bubbly personality. She can't be much older than my mother.
"So, you are in fact pregnant. The lab results confirmed the presence of HCG, which is the hormone produced during pregnancy. "
“Do you have any idea how this happened? I mean, obviously I know how it happened but, I have an IUD.” I say, still trying to wrap my head around the situation.
She nods dramatically, her lips pressing into a line as she listens to my concerns.
“Unfortunately, no birth control is 100 percent effective. In most cases, the IUD might have been displaced, or in some instances, the body rejects the device without you knowing. I actually would like to get clarity on that with an ultrasound, but I think it’s important for you to know the risks of this scenario here.” She says, turning slightly more serious.
“Risks?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Yes,” she says softly, “There is a possibility that, due to you having an IUD, this pregnancy may not be viable. Having an IUD increases the risk of what we call an ectopic pregnancy... are you familiar with that term?” Her hazel eyes lock onto mine and I shake my head, my heart starting to pound.
“Well, because you have a contraceptive device in the space where a fetus would normally develop, there's a risk that the pregnancy could occur outside the uterus. Typically the egg will implant itself in the fallopian tubes, which cannot host a safe or viable pregnancy...And if not treated immediately, the tube can rupture and cause internal hemorrhaging," She explains gently, carefully choosing her words to convey the seriousness of the situation.
I feel my heartbeat in my ears now as I process her words.
"So you're saying, this can be life threatening...for me and the..." My throat closes up and I can't finish my sentence.
She must take notice of the panic in my face, her round eyes widening slightly.
"If it goes untreated, yes. But I don't say this to make you panic, you're in good hands and whatever happens, we will take the next steps together." She places a hand on my knee, giving the tissue box so I can dry my uncontrollable tears.
"Based on your last period, you should be about seven weeks along. This ultrasound will confirm that and also ensure the pregnancy is positioned in the uterus. Before we proceed, I'd like to ask you a few questions... do you need a minute?" she asks gently, noticing my unease.
I hiccup and shake my head. "N-no, I'll be okay. Sorry," I mumble, wiping my nose.
"Don't apologize," she says kindly, giving me a moment to collect myself anyway, which I appreciate.
For a moment, I consider calling Nick in, but I decide against it. Even though we're close, this may be a little too personal, even for him and I.
"Have you been experiencing any cramping or discomfort in your back or abdomen?" She asks and typing my answer into the computer as I tell her no.
"Any spotting or bleeding?"
"I had some light bleeding last night, it only lasted maybe an hour... I had thought it was my period, but I knew something was off." I explain to her and she nods.
"That was most likely implantation bleeding, which is normal. It can be light spotting of blood, or some women experience heavy bleeding, similar to a period." She continues to take her notes before looking to me again, "Any tenderness in your breasts?"
"Oh, for sure. My breasts have been very sore the past few days,"
"Any nausea or vomiting?"
"Yes, the last couple of days–especially at night, I've been vomiting. I haven't really been sleeping well because of it."
"Yeah, the term 'morning sickness' is misleading... It can happen any time of day, you seem to be experiencing yours during the evening. Any other symptoms you've noticed that you'd like to note?" She asks and I try to think of some things.
"Uhh, I guess I've been more tired than usual, but I chalked that up to being up all night sick...I've also been getting hot flashes recently and I've definitely been more emotional,"
"These are all good to note, thank you very much," She pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose before typing again.
She swivels herself back towards me, smiling warmly.
"We'll go ahead with the ultrasound now. But to get an accurate picture, we're going to do a transvaginal ultrasound, if that's okay with you."
"Okay, that's fine," I say, shakily.
She pulls the ultrasound cart to toward her before standing to move the stirrups into place so I can place my feet into them. She places a privacy cloth over me and I take a deep breath.
She puts a covering on the sheath of the ultrasound wand and places lubricant on the top of it. She taps a few buttons on the computer, calibrating the machine before turning towards me with a reassuring smile.
"So this will feel cold and you might feel a little pressure but if you feel any discomfort don't be afraid to tell me." She informs before placing the device inside to create the image.
I try not to wince and try to relax as much as possible. I go to look toward the screen but she has it faced towards her, so I opt to reading her facial expressions.
Dr. Sullivan adjusts her glasses by putting them on the tip of her nose and tilting her head back to get a better view.
She's quite animated with her expressions, her mouth opening slightly in concentration as she looks over the screen.
Although I can't see what she's looking at, she seems pleased, which is a relief.
"Okay, so good sign so far, I see your IUD," Dr. Sullivan says, leaning forward and pointing to the screen. "I can clearly see that it's sitting at the top of your cervix. It’s shifted down and away from your uterus. Do you happen to experience heavy cramping during your cycle?" she asks, her fingers tapping some buttons on the monitor.
"Yes, I do," I reply, the worry still gnawing at me.
She nods thoughtfully. "That could explain the displacement. Sometimes, intense cramping can cause the IUD to shift from its original position. It’s not common, but it does happen. It’s good that we’ve caught it now."
"I see the embryonic sac in, from what I can tell, a great spot. You're measuring at about 6 or 7 weeks along. Size of a blueberry." She says and I stop breathing.
I don't even hesitate to say yes as she asks if I would like to see.
My eyes are glued to the screen as I follow where her finger points, focusing on the grainy image. There it is—a tiny black oval with an even tinier dot in the middle. It's so small, I almost think I'm looking at the wrong thing.
“That’s... them?” I whisper, my voice barely audible as I try to comprehend the sight in front of me.
Dr. Sullivan nods, her expression tender. "That's your baby. It's early, but everything looks promising..."
"Really?" I squeak, still in disbelief, my throat tightening with sudden emotion as more tears fall down my face.
Relief— as she nods in confirmation, handing me the tissue box again.
Hope— as she zooms in, showing me the flickering of the heartbeat.
Joy—as I hear the heartbeat, feeling it sync with the thumping of my own.
For the first time since my dream, I feel joy, something beyond the crippling dread that had loomed over me all day. My heart swells and then bursts as I continue to stare at the flickering dot on the screen, blinking away the tears that blur my vision.
I breathe in shakily before a laugh escapes through a sob.
"Nice strong heartbeat, everything looks as it should... this looks like a healthy pregnancy," Dr. Sullivan announces, gently removing the ultrasound wand but keeping a looped video on the screen, allowing me a few more moments to take it all in.
"She's strong too, just like you,"
"So, the next step—for your safety—would be to remove the IUD today," she continues, her tone calm yet serious. "We can also discuss your options moving forward, including your decision on whether or not you would like to continue with the pregnancy. It's important to weigh all the possibilities and make the choice that's right for you."
"I-I'm gonna continue the pregnancy. It was in no way planned, but–"
"You don't need to explain...I had a feeling" She dismisses me gently, giving me a knowing smile, "I guess this calls for a congratulations,"
"Thank you," I say just above my breath, warmth still blooming through my chest.
After Dr. Sullivan removes my IUD, she tells me to dress while she steps out to calculate my due date.
I stare at the printed ultrasound picture, my heart swelling with a fierce protectiveness. I’m not worried about the complications or uncertainties ahead right now. All that matters is this life inside me.
I feel much stronger than I did merely hours ago.
My due date was February 7th, the same as my grandmother’s birthday.
–
I had landed in Maine a few hours ago, my mom and I were organizing all of my grandma's belongings. We spent the afternoon together, grabbing lunch before heading over to my grandmother's house.
The house always felt like a time capsule, preserving every memory. The duck wallpaper in the dining room, the scent of pine and clove, the worn couch cushions, her miniature schnauzer figurine collection, and the framed pressed flowers from her children’s weddings—everything was always in its rightful place. It always looked the same.
Memories of me and my siblings spending weekends here whirling behind my eyelids as I inhale the familiar scent.
It evokes a bittersweet feeling.
We keep the mood light, sharing stories with each memory we packed away. I still saw the flicker of sadness in my mom's eyes, even through her laughter as we reminisced.
Sitting on the carpet in the living room, we go through the boxes full of pictures to put together a collage for the funeral. I come across a picture of my mother pregnant with my older brother.
It's a candid photo in the kitchen of my grandmother's house, her hand resting on her swollen belly that pokes out the bottom of her blue shirt, a soft smile on her face. My grandmother is beside her, beaming with pride, tying an apron around her waist.
My mother looked so young, her freckles prominent on her flushed cheeks and her smile crinkling the corners of her eyes.
I was always told I looked more like my dad, but seeing her like this, so close to my own age now, I can't help but notice the resemblance.
My mom notices my pause and looks over my shoulder. "That was just a few weeks before your brother was born," she says softly, her voice laced with nostalgia. "Your grandmother knew we were having a boy from the moment we told her,"
Her words send a chill down my spine.
I linger on the photo, feeling a wave of emotion rise up at the mention of my grandmother as the weight of my own news presses heavier on my chest.
"Were you really sick, when you were pregnant?" I ask, lowly.
She hums in thought, "With your brother? Only for maybe the first few weeks. With you though? Forget about it, I was sick everyday for months."
I stay silent for a moment, studying another photo of my mom and dad in the hospital room with my brother the day he was born. My mom is in the hospital bed, looking tired but radiant, while my dad is crouched next to her, gently cradling my brother in his arms.
"He was so bald," I laugh softly, and my mom chuckles beside me.
"His hair was so blonde, it was practically see-through. Your father called him 'egghead' for the first two months of his life," she says, shaking her head and rolling her eyes with a smile.
I look at the photo again, my gaze lingering on my mom's face. Her expression is filled with such warmth and love as she looks at my dad.
"How did you tell dad? You guys were both pretty young," I ask and she stifles a laugh.
"We actually found out together in a gas station bathroom..." She starts off with a slightly shameful smile, "I had been so sick on our camping trip with your aunt and uncle, so I decided on our way back home to take a test. We were shocked to say the least, but we were happy," She shrugs casually.
I think about how I was alone when I found out I was pregnant. Matt wasn't there, and it wasn't his fault, but the last 36 hours of keeping this from him has been torture.
The moment I saw the second line show up with fresh cold sweat still rolling down my neck, I had to bottle up this relentless guilt.
I feel guilt. It wasn't anyone's fault. This is the most serendipitous situation I've ever been in, but I put the blame on me. I have a choice and I'm choosing the route that will completely flip our already hectic lives upside down.
Tethering us together for life.
Even if this decision it feels right, it still carries an enormous weight. It’s not just my life that’s about to change—it's Matt’s too.
I have no doubt Matt will be supportive, but when you're left alone with your thoughts long enough, you can convince yourself of anything.
I've spent every waking minute wondering how he'll react, imagining every possible scenario, from the worst to the best. It's been an endless loop of 'what ifs,' and it’s taken everything in me not to just blurt it out over the phone.
"Were you scared at all? I mean, weren't you like 20?" I press, searching for reassurance in her response.
Her eyes widen before nodding, "Oh, we were scared shitless. Your father almost passed out. We had no idea what we were doing, but hey, we survived. For better or for worse,"
I nod, looking down at my lap and fidgeting with my fingers. My chest feels tight, and the weight of everything becomes almost unbearable.
"Mom, there's something I need to tell you... I–"
"I know," She looks at me with a small smile, her green eyes glistening with tears.
My brows furrow together, giving her a confused look.
"You do?" I ask, my voice trembling.
She shrugs, "I know everything, I'm your mom... Plus, you gagged at the smell of chicken today, that was a dead giveaway." She bites back a smirk and I cover my face, laughing through some tears before looking at her again.
"I guess I’m not as good at hiding things as I thought."
"You never were," She says softly as she scoots closer to me, bringing me into her warm embrace.
I sigh deeply into her, squeezing her tight and breathing in her comforting scent.
"How are you feeling?" she asks, still holding onto me.
"Scared shitless..." I joke and we share a laugh before she pulls back to wipe the tears that escaped against my will, "But I'm happy," I admit, scanning my mother's face for any sign of judgement.
There was none.
She wipes her own few tears, looking at me with only love in her eyes.
"My baby's having a baby,"
"I think grandma sent me this baby," I whisper, allowing my emotions to come through.
My mom tucks my hair behind my ear with her gentle, comforting touch and she listens intently as I tell her my dream. We hold onto each other and cry. I then show her the ultrasound pictures and we talk until the sun disappears.
My phone buzzes softly and I check the message to find Matt’s text that he’s landed and on his way. The reality of his imminent arrival causes a mixed-wave of nausea and guilt to wash over me.
My mom looks at me with a reassuring smile.
"I'll leave you two be so you can talk. I'll see you in the morning, my love." She tells me softly, kissing my cheek and hugging me tight.
Matt and I were gonna stay here during our time in Maine. It's best right now that we have our own space, especially since my brother and his girlfriend are staying by my parents house.
As she heads out, I take a deep breath and text Matt to let him know the door is unlocked. I slip into the shower, trying to calm my racing thoughts and steady my nerves. The warm water helps, but my mind keeps racing as I mentally prepare for the conversation ahead.
Wrapped in a towel, I check my reflection in the mirror, trying to see if I look any more put together than before.
I think this is the best we're going to get.
I jump when I here the front door open and shut, then some feet shuffling. My heart skips a beat.
Matt's here.
"It's just me," I hear him call out as well as more shuffling and a paper bag crinkling.
"Hey! I-I'll be right out!" I call back out, my heart picking up again but I take a deep breath.
I quickly get dressed in a tank top and shorts; there's a heat wave here, and I can't figure out how to adjust the thermostat.
I step out of the bathroom to see Matt standing at the kitchen island, unpacking burgers and fries onto the counter. The aroma of it makes my stomach growl and I realize I hadn't eaten anything since lunch.
I admire him for a second; he's wearing pink sweatpants, a black hoodie and a backwards fitted hat.
He turns at the sound of my presence and his face softens. I'm trembling when he steps forward to embrace me into a tight hug. He buries his face into my neck before giving me a few kisses there.
"Hi," I breath out, my voice shaky.
I was so nervous.
"Hey, you okay?" His voice is so soft, my heart aches. He pulls away, rubbing his hands up and down my arms while scanning my face.
"You're shaking. What's going on?" He presses.
He knows something is up, he can see it all over my face. I shake my head, brushing it off to have one more minute with him.
I pull him back to me, wrapping my arms around his neck this time and locking him against me. He bends down a bit to accommodate but doesn't question it, just hugging me back. His arms wrapping around my waist and pressing our stomachs together.
My heart is slamming against my ribcage and I know he can feel it, his thumb rubbing my hip soothingly tells me he does.
"How are you doing?" His voice is muffled with his face buried into my neck.
"I'm okay, better now that you're here. I missed you," I mumble, kissing the side of his neck and running my hand down between his shoulder blades.
I breathe him in, noting the warmth of him and the solidness of his body against me.
"I missed you... I brought us food. I don't know about you, but I'm fucking starving," He puts his hands on my hips to pull back from the hug, but I stay put.
He chuckles, giving me one more squeeze.
I pull back just enough to line our faces up and give him a kiss, which he eagerly returns.
"Thank you for being here, it means a lot," I say against his lips and he pulls back slightly to push my hair out of my face.
"I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else." He hums into another kiss, then places three quick pecks before giving my butt a light tap, signaling that it’s time to let him go.
I finally release him and head to the food on the counter.
"I passed a Five Guys on the way here, so I hope that's good for you," He grabs a handful of fries before munching on them.
As I reach the counter, the smell of the burgers makes my mouth water, and I can’t help but smile at his thoughtfulness.
“Five Guys is perfect, thank you,” I say, grabbing a fry from the bag and tasting its salty warmth.
Matt grins, clearly pleased with himself. “Good, because I was too hungry to think of anything else,” he jokes, unwrapping one of the burgers and handing it to me.
I take it, thanking him quietly, my fingers brushing against his. For a moment, I just look at him.
He’s here, and I should be telling him I’m pregnant with his child, but instead, we’re standing in the kitchen eating burgers. As if I’m trying to cling to this last bit of normalcy before everything changes.
I force myself to take a bite of my burger, moaning at the greasy, savory goodness. Matt smirks at me, taking a hearty bite of his own burger.
“S’good?” he asks through his bite, his eyes twinkling with amusement.
I nod, moaning again in response, savoring the taste as it temporarily distracts me from everything else.
Matt takes a sip of his drink before bringing a napkin to my face and wiping the corner of my mouth and chin.
"Wipe ya lip, kid," He teases and I roll my eyes, grabbing the napkin from him.
Matt inhales another large bite of his burger, and we slip into our familiar rhythm.
He tells me about his brief trip to Chicago, and I’m relieved to hear he managed to gather a few funny stories and catch at least one day of the festival. He’s notably enthusiastic while he talks, and I can’t help but smile at his excitement.
He also reassured me that Chris wasn't upset at all, which I already knew from the sweet text he sent me this morning.
“Well, I’m glad you had fun,” I say, trying to match his enthusiasm.
I then give him the rundown for the next few days while we prepare for the funeral and memorial.
We continue eating, the conversation shifting to lighter topics as we enjoy the burgers and each other’s company.
It feels so easy, so light. It always is with us. But underneath the surface, the words I need to say weigh heavy on my mind, threatening to break the easy rhythm.
Matt watches me closely, his own burger forgotten for the moment as he sees me disappear inside my head again.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks again, his eyes look between mine. “You seem… I don’t know, you're acting weird.” He tries to find the right words.
"Matt..." I go to dismiss him, getting up slowly but he cuts me off, standing up too.
"No, I'm serious. You've been acting weird for days, and I'm no longer 2000 miles away for you to push me away or avoid me." He steps closer to me, trapping me against the counter with his arms on either side of me.
"Is it about your grandma? Did something else happen while I was gone?" He throws out, looking between my eyes.
"I–" I try to speak up but my voice gets caught in my throat and I get lost in the icy storm of his relentless gaze.
"It's not just my grandma," I manage to say, the admission causing him to soften slightly, a glimmer of relief at the small breakthrough.
"Okay, so talk to me, sweetheart. Please, I've been worried sick about you. You have no idea," he pleads, his breath brushing against my skin.
"I didn't know how to tell you..." I try to put together my words but I feel like I'm making it all worse.
I watch as his eyebrows pinch together and he leans down more so he's eye level with me instead towering over me.
"Tell me what, kid. I'm not a mind reader," His voice strains, frustration evident in his face.
When I try to break eye contact with him he pulls my chin to align our eyes again.
"What, d'you crash my car?" he guesses, clearly joking, his eyebrows raising playfully.
I can't help but smile and snort at his attempt to ease the tension.
"No, it’s not that," I say, my voice cracking slightly. "It's much bigger than that," I trail off and he waits expectantly.
"I uh– I went to the doctor yesterday," I pause and study his face, which drops ever so slightly, seeming to be bracing himself.
He stays silent, whether it was out of patience or fear, nothing could have prepared for my next sentence.
"I went to confirm that I was pregnant," I finally blurt out, my voice shaky, and he freezes.
Not one muscle moves in his face or his body.
"You're..." His voice cracks and he clears his dry throat, hitting his chest, "Are you serious?"
"I'm seven weeks, or a month and a half," I stammer, my voice wavering. "I don't really know how to—"
"Seven..." He whispers in disbelief, the shock settling in and I nod. "Y-you were on birth control– you have that AED–"
"IUD, yes, I did. It still happened, that shit is useless if it moves out of place," I explain and he looks down between us.
"A-and everything's okay, you're okay?" He looks up at me again, holding onto my face.
I take hold of his wrists, rubbing my thumb over his skin.
"I'm fine, the baby's fine..." I say softly and his eyes widen in realization as he pales.
"Oh my fucking god," He pulls back, cupping his hands over his mouth. "I need to sit down."
"Okay, okay. Do you want water?" I panic, hoping he doesn't pass out or puke.
He takes a seat at the dining table, shaking his head before taking off his hat and leaning his elbows on his knees.
"Oh my god, I thought I was crazy..." He says, his voice cracking with nerves as he presses his palms into his eye sockets.
"What?" I ask, confused.
"I had a feeling all fucking week," he says, his voice still shaky, and my brows knit together.
"I knew something was up. You were acting different. You were moodier than usual, you were napping all the time—and you never nap... and your tits are huge," he adds, and I roll my eyes.
"Sorry, that’s beside the point," he continues quickly, "I just couldn’t shake the feeling that you could be... I think I was trying to convince myself you weren't, but then you were so sick before I left," he rambles, staring blankly at the wall.
"It's a lot to take in, I know." I swallow thickly as I watch him process everything.
"You're pregnant," he says finally, looking at me again, this time with tears brimming his eyes. "And you were dealing with all of this by yourself," His voice is low and I shake my head, moving to stand between his legs, cupping his face gently.
"Hey, no. None of that... How could you have known?" I shush him and pull his head towards my chest.
His hands rest behind my thighs, his thumb lightly stroking my right leg. I run my fingers through his hair, comforting him as much as he's comforting me.
"I've been so scared to tell you..." I confess softly and he pulls back slightly, looking up at me with his brows furrowed.
"I know this wasn't part of our plan...at least not for a while. But before I took a test, the night my grandma passed, I had a dream. I was here, in my grandmother's garden... and she told me I was pregnant. Matt, the feeling I had," I pause, struggling to find the right words.
"It was the most intense, pure form of happiness I've ever felt. I can't even describe it to you..." I trail off.
I shake my head, "I know, I sound crazy. But I think this was meant to happen." I whisper, heat creeping up my neck at the admission.
He’s silent for a moment, absorbing my words. Then, a slow smirk carves a crease into the side of his mouth. "You are fucking crazy…" he murmurs, his playful tone breaking the tension as his smile lines deepen.
I huff a breathy laugh, the sound catching in my throat as my emotions take over again. Tears blur my vision, and I can’t hold them back any longer.
"Are you mad?" I squeak, letting my fear slip through the dam I built up.
He's immediately shaking his head, his eyes widen with sincerity, "Mad? Of course not. I mean, I thought we'd maybe get a cat first but..." He says, quirking his lip and I can't help the laugh that escapes through a sob.
I was the definition of an emotional wreck.
He gently squeezes my hips as I tip my head back to collect myself.
"Look at me," he says firmly, and I sniffle and hiccup before forcing myself to look at him. "Am I surprised? Yes. Terrified? Definitely. But, not even close to mad."
He wipes my tears tenderly, "We're going to be okay. Take it easy, alright? Deep breaths," His tone gentle but assertive, dragging me out of the pit of my dark thoughts.
I sigh as his thumbs draw circles on the exposed skin on my hips.
"I'm sorry," I say and he pulls me to sit sideways on his lap this time.
"Why are you sorry?" he asks softly, intertwining our fingers and bringing my hand to his mouth for a kiss.
"Our lives are going to change and I feel like it's my fault,"
"C'mere," He pulls me in fully, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I love you, and we're going to get through this... We were gonna do it anyway; we're just getting a headstart, yeah? Everything is going to work out," He tells me softly and I can tell he means every word.
Matt never says anything he doesn't mean.
"Also, don't say stupid shit like this is your fault. Last time I checked, it takes two to tango," He says firmly, lightly slapping my hip.
I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat as I lean into him completely, resting my head on his shoulder. His hand rubs gentle circles on my back, and I close my eyes, letting myself soak in the comfort of his presence.
"I missed you so much," I whisper, my voice muffled against his shirt. "I've been so sick, this kid might be trying to kill me," I try to joke, and he breathes a laugh into my shoulder.
A few beats of silence pass, broken only by the distant sound of crickets outside and the occasional creak of the old house settling.
"We're having a kid," He speaks up, realization laced in his voice and I hum against him. "Maybe we're both fucking crazy,"
I stifle a laugh and pull back to look at him, "D'wanna see it?" I ask, getting up from his lap and he looks to my stomach with a raised brow.
"Kid, you're not showing yet," he says, leaning back into the chair with his arms crossed, a playful smirk on his face and I roll my eyes.
"No, the ultrasound. Hold on," I say as I head to the counter to grab the pictures from my bag.
I pull out the strip of photos, and when I turn back, I see Matt standing up and stretching. He takes off his sweatshirt and his shirt riding up slightly, exposing a sliver of his stomach. Heat rises to my face but I can't stare too long though because he's walking towards me to look over my shoulder.
"Okay, what am I lookin' at?" He stands behind me, his hands on his hips as his head tilts in concentration.
"You see this black circle here?" I point to the sonogram, and he leans in closer, his breath warm against my neck as he grabs hold of the paper to steady it.
"Yeah, that's it?" He asks, narrowing his eyes and I giggle.
"No, do you see the tinier white blob inside it? That's the baby." I explain and his face scrunches for a second, looking at the picture again.
"No fucking way," he says in disbelief, a wide smile breaking across his face. "That tiny thing?" His voice raises a pitch as he looks at me, eyes wide with awe, "Can barely fucking see that," He says playfully before rubbing his eyes.
"Mhm," I can't help but giggle as he wraps an arm around me, pulling me in and placing a kiss to my temple. "Just wait til you hear it, the heartbeat was insane. It was so fast," I add and he freezes.
The realization in his face settles in even deeper as I tell him that, his soft smile returning.
"You heard the heartbeat?" He whispers, looking between my eyes and I nod.
"Yeah, yesterday. They emailed me the video of it, I'll show you in a bit if you want," I tell him and he kisses me then like he can't help himself.
"That's fucking nuts... do you feel pregnant?" he asks, his voice curious and his eyes slowly lowering to my stomach peaking out of my tank top.
I shake my head, "Not at all. I just feel like shit... and constantly bloated," I admit, laughing softly.
He lightly chuckles himself, a charmed smile on his face as he reaches to rubs my stomach a couple times.
"We're really gonna have to lock in, kid." He moves around me to pull me into a full hug, pressing our stomachs together.
"Okay, gamer...acting like this is a video game," I scoff teasingly and he bends down, laughing into my neck.
"Well, what else do you want me to say? We're leveling up in life–" he continues the joke and I jab his side with my finger.
"Ow," he fake-cries, clutching his side with exaggerated pain before breaking into a fit of giggles.
"Stop saying corny shit, you goof," I warn, though his laughter makes it impossible not to smile.
I bury my face in his chest, my ear pressed against his heart as we settle into a comfortable silence.
"Now we really gotta get our own place," He says and I can hear his smirk.
"I don't know…" I shrug slightly, considering. "Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to stick around for a bit. It might be nice to have the extra help before we go completely on our own."
He pulls back slightly to look at me, tilting his head with an inquisitive expression. "You really think my brothers will be any help? They don’t know anything about babies."
I snort. “Probably not, but neither do we." I reason and his mouth shrugs in defeat.
"Good point... I guess we can wait it out, we're not in a rush. It'll definitely give us more time to research where would want to be somewhat permanently," He points out.
I hum into him and try not stress about that. The reality is we'd be putting ourselves in a tough spot—both our families are here on the East Coast, but our jobs and lives are rooted in LA.
It's easy to go back and forth when it was just us, but now we're gonna have a kid.
"I already hear your mind racing," his voice breaks me out of my thoughts as he rubs my back. "Don't worry, we'll figure it out..." he says softly, and I sigh deeply.
My stomach turns when I get a whiff of the food still laid out on the table.
"Matt," I say, pulling back slowly, holding my stomach.
"Mm?" he hums, looking at me with concern as I put my hand over my mouth.
"The smell of those burgers is making me sick now," I try not to laugh, and he shakes his head, immediately tossing all the trash into the large paper bag it came in.
"Alright, where's the incinerator?"
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