#both angry? yeESH

[noodles-and-tea]

It’s always either or

[scarfwrites]

Fake Dating

❅Genre : Fluff  / Crack , Angst

❅Pairings: Iwaizumi x Reader 

                     Tsukishima x Reader

                     Kuroo x Reader 

❅Warnings: Angst, mentions of cheating but not the reader, vulgar language, a lotta crack cuz it's the seijoh 4, sexual because tumblr said so

❅Word Count: 10,395

❅A/N: OKAY THE IWAIZUMI ONE MIGHT BE VERY SELF INDULGENT BUT I CAN’T HELP IT I LOVE HIM

I also cried writing his 

Iwaizumi

“Make sure you don’t miss that spike! Y/N-chan’s watching~~” Oikawa teased as Iwaizumi looked over to you almost missing his spike making the third years laugh

“YOU ALMOST MISSED!” Makki teasingly yelled from across the court

“Aww, Iwa-chan I didn’t know you wanted to impress Y/N-chan that badly!” Oikawa laughed loudly but soon stopped once a very angry Iwaizumi glaring at him

“I swear I’ll fucking kill you if you do that again” Iwaizumi threatened making the setter gulp

“Luckily Iwaizumi won’t do that in front of Y/N” Kindaichi whispered to the other lower years

“Alright Let’s all take a water break!” Matsun yelled holding a bunch of water bottles

The whole team expected you to greet them with your usual lunches that you’d prepare for all of them. But instead, they were greeted with a very bummed-looking Y/N watching their phone.

“Looks like they didn’t see what happened earlier, lucky you” Makki teased as Iwaizumi looked at him with annoyance

“Yahoo Y/N-chan! I hope you have your lunches you pack they’re delicious!” Oikawa exclaimed happily getting zero response from you

“They look really distracted  with their phone” Yahaba pointed out as he drank from his water bottle

“Hello? Earth to Y/N!” Oikawa yelled waving a hand in front of your face

“Huh? Oh are you all done?” you asked as everyone gave you weird looks

“We’re having a water break” Matsun said sitting down

“Yeah and where are those lunches you usually pack” Oikawa asked as you looked through your bag

“Here they are” you spoke sadly as you gave Oikawa your packed lunch making everyone concerned

“Thanks! I was starving!” Oikawa said in relief as Iwaizumi smacked the back of his head

“Nevermind that,  is something wrong?” Iwaizumi asked sitting next to you

“Yeah where's that happy-go-lucky Y/N we all love” Makki said as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders

“Sorry, It’s just I’ve got a family gathering in a few days” you folded your arms laying your head on them

“That doesn’t sound that bad” Watari said confused

“No no you don’t get it” you sighed “Every year we have a big family gathering and I always get asked if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend or whatever” you continued

“Well, do you?” Oikawa asked curiously as he ate 

“No, and that's the problem” you sigh in frustration “If I show up there without one they’re gonna hook me up with some egotistical dunce face and if that doesn’t work out they’ll send another one” you scowled

“Yeesh sounds stupid” Matsun patted your back

“Yeah all because ‘I’m currently the only person in the family without a partner and they don’t want me to die like an old maid’” you mocked sarcastically

“Well, why don’t you hire a s/o? Can’t you rent a s/o here?” Oikawa suggested

“That’s too expensive I have nowhere near enough to rent one” you sighed

“Why don’t you follow Oikawa’s idea and get a fake one?” Makki 

“Yeah! Someone handsome and irresistible like me!” Oikawa smirked making everyone groan

“No they already know that I’d never date anyone like you” you chuckled at Oikawa’s pouty face

“Yeah you both wouldn’t be able to keep that up, he can’t even keep a real one” Makki mocked making the setter even poutier causing you all to laugh more

“Fine, what kinda boyfriend would convince them” Oikawa irritatedly asked

“Well definitely not someone as goofy as Makki” you thought out loud 

"I’ll take that as a compliment" Makki smiled

“I guess someone responsible, kind, and not a flirt?” You suggested as Oikawa grinned smugly

“Oh, I think I have the perfect guy!” Oikawa smirked victoriously

“Huh who?” You asked befuddled

“He’s sitting right beside you” Oikawa said mischievously as you looked at Iwaizumi 

“Oh yeah! Hajime fits their view of a perfect s/o” you smiled as Iwaizumi began to blush

“Yeah plus you’re both pretty close, it shouldn’t be that hard” Matsun gave a suggestive look to the blushing ace

“I-I mean I don’t really mind if you really want… or need one” Iwaizumi said nervously hiding his face

“Yeah! We’re close buddies which will make it so much easier and less awkward!” You jumped in joy

“Oh but we gotta make it convincing! Tomorrow let’s go out and do whatever the heck couples do!” You suggested

“And we can help with that” Makki interjected as Oikawa and Matsun nodded

“Alright, I’ll see you later then!” You happily ran out of the gym

“I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU THREE” Iwaizumi yelled furiously as the lower years hold him down

“Before you try to kill us at least you’ve basically got to experience what’s like to be with Y/N” Oikawa defended making Iwaizumi scoff

“I know you did that on purpose” Iwaizumi said angrily 

“Like our flat captain said at least you’re gonna go on a date with Y/N” Makki reaffirmed “And with the ideas I have in mind they’ll be head over heels for you” Makki smiled mischievously

After school Makki and Oikawa told you their ridiculous ideas which you mostly ignored. Thankfully the days before the party was the weekends so you both had enough time to make your fake relationship as real as possible. You both decided that the park and the mall would be the best places for fake dates.

“Did you listen to anything they said yesterday?” you asked looking at Iwaizumi

“No, all their ideas were stupid” Iwaizumi scoffed making you chuckle

“Well some of them were good, but after a while, it got stupider and stupider” you said while you both walked to the park

“What do you wanna do first?” He asked

“Well I was thinking we could have like a picnic here for lunch, then do whatever they suggested in the mall” you explained as he nodded

“Well we could start with taking pictures over there” Iwaizumi pointed to the cherry blossom tree which had leaves falling out

“Yeah! That’s a great idea!” You said excitedly as you ran towards the tree

Iwaizumi took pictures of you playing around with the petals that fell off the tree. He had to admit seeing you act like a child looked pretty cute.

“Hajime! You need to be in the pictures too y'know!” You called out as he walked towards you

“Right I forgot sorry” he chuckled “I couldn’t help it though, you looked like a child playing with the petals” he said making you blush

“I guess cherry blossoms make me feel like a child again” you both laughed

You then took a picture of you both laughing in the pile of petals you were both in 

“This is the perfect place for the picnic!” You said as you grabbed the picnic mat from your bag

“You seem pretty excited about all of this despite being all fake” Iwaizumi chuckled as he set the food on the mat

“It’s cuz I like hanging out with you” You smiled brightly as Iwaizumi blushed “I don’t spend as much time with you as I do with the others” you grab the sandwiches you made giving him one

“Yeah… I guess we don’t” he smiled quietly as he ate his sandwich

He hated to admit it but Oikawa and Makki were right. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to indulge the experience of dating you even if it is fake. His thoughts were interrupted as he saw you staring at him.

“Is there something on my face” he spoke as you blinked

“Yeah you’ve this on top of your head” you giggled as you take the flower of his head

“Why don’t you keep it” he suggested taking the flower from your hand as you tilt your head in confusion “You can keep it right up here” he placed the flower in your hair on top of your ear making you blush

“Oh! Like a memory to this day!” You smiled as he nodded

After your little picnic, you both went to the closest mall to do the other things they suggested and later have dinner. But first, you needed to do a little shopping.

“Y/N aren’t we supposed to take pictures to make this thing look real? Why are we shopping?” Iwaizumi gave a half confused half annoyed look

“We need matching outfits for the party! Or wait maybe opposite outfits- outfits! We need outfits for the party!” You explain as you look through the clothing store as he sighed

“I’m guessing this is a formal party?” Iwaizumi said as you threw more possible outfit choices on the cart

“Kinda? It’s always semi-casual and semi-formal but we still need something presentable!” you exclaimed as you put more possible outfits on the cart

“Before we go and look for more why don’t we try some on” Iwaizumi suggested as he emphasized the full cart

You both tried the countless outfits you chose. You have now just realized how many clothes you put in the cart. Luckily you and Iwaizumi could easily sort them since most of them were either too formal or too casual.

“It looks like you mindlessly threw a bunch of clothes in the cart” Iwaizumi said as he looked through the pile of clothes

“Sorry” you smiled nervously “This is the only time we have a gathering so it’s kinda important for my family” you explained as you look through more of the clothes

“You miss them too, right?” Iwaizumi asked as you nod

“Yeah of course! But that’s only after the millions of awkward questions they give me” you sighed

“I see…” Iwaizumi spoke softly

“I FOUND THE PERFECT ONE” you said holding the two pairs of clothes as Iwaizumi sighed in relief

After trying it out you both decided it was definitely the perfect outfit to wear at the gathering. You took the opportunity to take a picture of Iwaizumi carrying the bag since you thought it was very gentleman-like. After eating dinner you both decided to go home.

“Thanks for today Hajime” you smiled as you both walked  “I’m glad we got the day to spend more time together ignoring the reason why” you chuckled making Iwaizumi blush

“No problem it was fun” Iwaizumi smiled as you both walk by the ice cream store

“Oh! Can we go get ice cream” you said excitedly as he chuckled at your adorableness

“Sure my treat” Iwaizumi offered as you smile brightly in excitement

Before you enter the store you both see a little boy gazing at the store

“Mommy, can we go get an ice cream?” The little boy pulled his mother’s arm

“Maybe next time” his mother said making the child pout

“You always say that” the boy sniffed sadly making your heartache “I’m sorry we just can’t afford it” his mother explained as she wiped his tears

You see Iwaizumi walk over to the boy

“Hey little guy you really want an ice cream?” he asked to which the boy nodded

“Oh you don’t have to!” the mother looked at Iwaizumi in embarrassment

“It’s fine ma’am I insist” he smiled “Why don’t you go pick one in the store” Iwaizumi opened the door as the boy jumped in excitement yelling “Yay!” as he went in

“I can’t choose” the boy said as he went up to you “Excuse me miss can you help me?” the boy asked

“Sure! But there’s a lot of cool ones so even for me it's hard to choose” you put your hand on your chin “you could go with this one! Oh but this one’s also good” Iwaizumi chuckled at your indecisiveness

After helping the boy choose you walked out of the store to say goodbye

“What do you say to the kind man and his girlfriend/boyfriend?” The boy's mother asked making you both blush profusely

“Thank you!” The boy gave a toothy smile as you both smiled back

“No problem” Iwaizumi motioned a high-five to the boy as he excitedly did

“Goodbye!” The boy said as they both left

“You know that kid reminds me of you when we were in middle school” Iwaizumi smiled softly 

“Is that why you decided to give him a free ice cream” you teased making him blush

“N-no you used to whine all the time when you didn’t have the money to buy an ice cream until I gave you mine” Iwaizumi looked away in annoyance as you giggled

“I know, thank you for all your ice creams” you smiled

The next day you reviewed the possible questions your family might ask Iwaizumi. After a few more fake dates it was time for the gathering. You both wore the outfits you chose and hopped in an Uber to the family gathering. As you arrived a wave of nervousness hit you.

“Nervous?” Iwaizumi looked over to you as you nod making him chuckle “It’s okay I’m always here” he held your hand making you blush 

“I’m ready” you took a breath as Iwaizumi opens the door for you revealing  that you both were the last ones to arrive

CRAP! WE’RE LATE you nervously panic seeing everyone looking at the two of you but you begin to calm down once you feel him firmly holding your hand. You see your mom waving for your corresponding seats so you both walk over to the table.

“Y/N we were so worried you wouldn’t come” your mother said as she patted down to the two empty seats

“Oh, are we late?” You asked nervously

“No no, everyone just got here early, surprisingly” she said “You’re both right on time, take a seat!” Your mom pats the empty seat again

“Oh right sorry!” Iwaizumi moves the chair for you as you mouth a thank you to which he smiled in response

“What a gentleman” your brother teased sarcastically which you respond with a glare

“Haven’t I seen you before?” Your mother asked 

“I’m part of the volleyball team in the school Y/N goes to and we’ve been on local TV a few times” Iwaizumi explained

“A gentleman and he’s sporty! Didn’t think Y/N was capable of catching such a fish!”  your brother snickered as you roll your eyes

“Where’s dad?” you looked around

“He’s talking to some of our uncles over there” your sister pointed at the wine section

“Right, dad hasn’t even met your boyfriend he’s definitely gonna ask millions of questions” your brother mischievously smiled making Iwaizumi nervous “So while he’s gone why don’t we ask some first” your brother sneered as he put his hands on his chin

“If you don’t mind I’d love to see some pictures of you both together” your mother requested as you gave your phone

That’s why they wanted to do all those fake dates Iwaizumi thought as your mother looks through your phone

“Oh Y/N is this your boyfriend?” Your aunt said excitedly as she walked over to your mom looking through your camera roll

“You finally got a boyfriend? Looks like we were all wrong about you growing into an old maid” your cousin teased making your brother laugh

“Awww you both look so cute!” your aunt squealed making you both blush profusely

After you and Iwaizumi answered the millions of questions from everyone you saw your dad walk over to the table making you extremely nervous. As he sat down he looked over to you and your “boyfriend.” The awkwardness made your brother silently chuckle as you sent a harsh glare to him.

“We should go now” your aunt and cousins zoomed away

“Is this the guy you were talking about when you asked to prepare at your boyfriend’s house?” Your father asked sternly

“Y-Yeah” you replied nervously

“You’re the same age as Y/N? Same school as Y/N? Excellent grades? No school violations?” Your father berated Iwaizumi with questions 

“F/N you’re scaring them” your mother lightly scolded 

“You were the one who wanted them to get a s/o which I didn’t agree with” your father reminded as your mother sighed

“Correction everyone but you wanted Y/N to get a s/o” your brother interjected

“And? I won’t let them end up like you with your… flings” your father scowled in disgust as your brother rolled his eyes

“F/N he’s a genuinely great kid, honest, polite, kind, responsible, and all of that!” Your mother defended “As long as you put your faith in them our child is in good hands” your mother smiled to both of you which eased your nerves

“Alright…” your father huffed “I’ll trust the both of you” your father sighed as he ate making you sigh quietly in relief

After the party was over you were relieved from all that stress. It wasn’t so bad after your mom defended you but you won’t admit you were famished. You decided to personally thank your mom before you left

“Thanks, Mom” you smiled pulling her for a tight hug

“No need to thank me” your mom smiled back and gave Iwaizumi a nod of approval 

“Where’s my hug and thanks? I defended you too y’know” your brother crossed your arms

“Thanks too I guess” you hugged him 

“But we should get going, bye!” You waved as they did the same

“For a fake relationship your father sure made it feel like a real one” Iwaizumi chuckled as you both walk outside

Right, it’s all fake you thought to yourself making your heartache

“Sorry to make you go through all that you really didn’t have to” you spoke quietly

“Y/N you don’t need to worry I’d never hesitate in doing this again” Iwaizumi smiled weakly as your heart skipped a beat

“Why?” you asked frowning at the thought that he’d do anything for you even if it ended him in getting into conflict

“Because…” he stopped

“Because what?” You asked looking to him

“We’re friends” he smiled as you felt an intense wave of sorrow and hurt though you managed to smile back weakly

You turned around to walk away but you soon stopped at the sound of Iwaizumi’s voice

“I don’t want us to just be that” he continued making your eyes widen as your heart starts beating fast

“I did all this because I care about you a lot… more than a friend even” you turned around to see Iwaizumi starting to tear up

“I know it was all fake but I enjoyed every second… It may be selfish of me but… I don’t want it to end” Iwaizumi spoke his voice was shaky as he tried to hold his tears back 

“I love you Y/N… I don’t want to let you go” tears poured from Iwaizumi’s cheeks as you embraced him tightly shocking him 

“Don’t worry” you spoke softly “I don’t wanna let go either” he looked at you with shock as you gave him a sweet smile

“Can we continue it for real this time?” You asked as he placed a kiss on your forehead

“I’d love to” he smiled

Tsukishima

You've always been surrounded by your fans everywhere you went. School was no exception. During break, every student would try to sit with you and if there were partnerships or group projects you'd always be the first to be asked. You really didn't mind as you appreciated all the support and this was the price to pay when you made the biggest hits in Japan. The only thing you particularly minded was when you have over-the-top obsessed fans or stalkers. Luckily in public, you could easily avoid them however this one obsessed fan was unfortunately in your school. Still, it wouldn't be that hard with the mass amount of students at the school but unfortunately, you shared one class with this “fan”.

“Good morning class. Just like last semester I'm going to change your seating arrangement again” your teacher said as you start to worry

She then guides your classmates one by one to their seats as you were left last

“And Y/N over there” she pointed to the empty chair next to Yuta making you pale as white

“You've got to be kidding me” you panicked internally as you went to your seat and sat down

“Hey Y/N” he smiled innocently

“Hey…” you awkwardly smile back

“Looks like we'll be seat buddies” you swore you can hear the sly smile from his voice

“Yeah cool!” you smiled hoping he would drop the conversation

“Yeah! Especially since math isn't your strongest subject right?” He continued

“I can manage” you said with slight coldness in your voice

“Well if you need help I'm right next to you” he smiled finally ending the conversation between the both of you

You felt the life draining out of you during that class. Yuta kept trying to make conversation with you. You were sure he could take the hint and was just talking to you because he could. Luckily during break, you could easily get away from him.

“Hey Y/N over here!” Hinata waved excitedly as you went over to him

“Hey guys” you waved as you sat down

“Is something wrong you looked bummed out” Suga asked with concern

“Well y'know that fan in our school that constantly stalks me” you sighed playing with your food

“You mean your whole fan club” Tsuki rolled his eyes

“No not that one you glared the one that's like a whole different level of creepiness” you explained

“WHAT! THAT CREEP?!” Noya gasped in disgust

“Yeah, we're seatmates now woohoo!” You said sarcastically 

“Can't you ask your teacher to switch?” Asahi asked

“Unfortunately no he's very reputable in the school they're not gonna believe me” you laid your face on the table 

“It's okay Y/N you can get through this!” Hinata encouraged

“Thank you” you hugged him as he returns the hug

“It's a shame math is the only subject none of us share with you” Yamaguchi said sadly

“And it's the only subject they share with him” Kageyama lightly scoffed making you even more bummed out

“I'll get through this!” You tried encouraging yourself

“Stop lying to yourself it makes you more pathetic than you already are” Tsukishima rolled his eyes as you sent a glare

“Looks like it’s gonna be another glare war” Asahi chuckled

“This is gonna be a long day” Daichi sighed in annoyance

After a few more peaceful classes it was time to go home. You thought you would have a peaceful walk home but you were very wrong. As you went to the gate you saw a putrid familiar face waiting for you by the gate.

“Hey Y/N!” Yuta waved as you tried walking past him only for him to walk right next to you

“Hey… Do you need something?” You asked quickly getting annoyed

“I was thinking why don’t we walk home together” he suggested slyly smiling

“It’s okay I’m comfortable going myself” you smiled fakely wanting to punch the grin on his face

“Are you sure? You’re pretty big around here and you won’t be safe getting chased by a mob of fans” he asked with concern as he walked in front of you

Do I even have a choice at this point you thought

“It’s really okay I-” you tried explaining getting quickly interrupted by a hand on your shoulder

“If you’re so concerned about her wellbeing I’ll go with her” Tsukishima nonchalantly said

“Oh! Tsukishima!” You gasped in surprise

“I don’t know, I've only seen you two fighting all the time… Are you sure you aren’t just gonna laugh while they get chased” Yuta narrowed his eyes

“You flatter me” Tsukishima faked a chuckle “Are you giving them a choice to walk with you or are you forcing them to go with you” Tsukishima glared intensely 

“No no, it’s not like that! It’s Y/N’s choice after all” Yuta smiled looking at you as you felt his aura of anger seeth around him

“Thank you for the offer but… We have stuff to do” Yuta gives you a look of confusion as you look at Tsukishima for an excuse as he rolled his eyes

“You’ve already forgotten our homework? Typical Y/N” Tsukishima scoffed in annoyance as you try to hide the urge to smack him

“Yeah! And we're doing it at his house” you smiled innocently

“Alright then stay safe…” Yuta walked away as you sigh in relief

“Jeez, can't you take care of anything yourself? Just say no” Tsukishima crossed his arms

“You said it yourself earlier he wasn’t giving me a choice” you glared harshly as he rolled his eyes

“Whatever” he scoffed “Let’s go before that idiot comes back” he said walking ahead

“Huh? You’re walking me home” you look at him with a very confused face

“Yeah you dumbass we actually have homework” he face palmed as you scoff

“Would it kill you to be nicer” you crossed your arms as you walked

“I’m sorry did I hurt the princess’ feelings?” Tsukishima smiled sarcastically as you glared

“Maybe walking with him would be much better than you” you quietly said

“Huh? Did the pipsqueak say something?” He teased

“I said nothing!” You scowled grumpily

“That’s what I thought” Tsukishima smugly smiled as you both walk outside the school gates

“Thanks again, I mean it” you smiled softly which made Tsukishima blush slightly

“Yeah whatever” he shrugs off as you both walk home

The next day as you arrive at school you are greeted with a tight hug by Hinata while Kageyama chases after him.

“Hi Y/N!” Hinata looked up to you excitedly

“You seem pretty excited” you smiled back

“I’m always excited for volleyball!” Hinata jumped in joy

“HEY! DON’T RUN OFF LIKE THAT!” Kageyama said breathlessly

“I heard from Yamaguchi that you walked home with Tsukishima! What’s up with that?” Hinata asked you curiously ignoring the other fellow

“Oh it’s because Yuta was offering to walk home with me… Actually forcing me is a better term” you sighed

“That guy never knows when to quit!” Hinata pouted making you aww at his adorableness

“At Least Tsukishima was there” Hinata sighed in annoyance

“Yeah… he was good company” you smiled 

“You should file a restraining order on that guy” Kageyama suggested

“I think that’s a bit too much” you chuckled awkwardly

“What are you gonna do about him he doesn’t sound like he’s gonna stop” Kageyama crossed his arms worriedly 

���I’ll go after him and beat him up!” Hinata exclaimed getting into a fighting position making you smile

“Thank you Hinata but I’m sure there’s another way to resolve this without any violence or getting the authorities involved” you ruffled his hair as Hinata put his hand on his chin

“I guess you’re gonna have to deal with that until you figure out a solution” Kageyama sighed

“I’VE GOT AN IDEA!” Hinata thought out loud 

“No” Tsukishima stated coldly

“Come on! It’s the only solution!” Hinata pouted angrily

“Out of everyone you think of, you pick me? Even the thought of pretending to be with her repulses me” Tsukishima scoffed

“You sure picked a nasty one” you rolled your eyes

“Exactly! He’s grumpy, nasty, and intimidating! It will definitely scare off all the creeps!” Hinata triumphantly said hoping you’d both be convinced

“I mean if it will keep him away…” you looked at Tsukishima

“The final answer is no. If you excuse me I have to get to class” Tsukishima walked away annoyed as you sighed

“Wait! We share a class!” Hinata ran as he caught up with Tsukishima

“Don’t think I know what you’re doing” Tsukishima glared at the shorter fellow

“Doing what?” Hinata asked innocently

“I don’t like her end of story” Tsukishima scowled as he walked faster

“You sure do care too much even if you say you don’t” Hinata murmured as Tsukishima glared 

“This conversation is done” Tsukishima seethed coldly

“I’m just saying who knows maybe if you both pretend to be together, maybe they’ll end up liking you back” Hinata suggested making a small smug grin as Tsukishima stops

You’ve finally reached the class you’ve been dreading to go to. As soon as you go in lo and behold he’s already there waiting, even patting the seat right next to him as if he saved it just for you. You took a deep breath before heading to your seat.

“You look troubled, something on your mind?” He asked 

You wish he would just stop being so hyper-friendly with you and shut up 

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m just tired” you faked a yawn 

“Oh right! You must be exhausted from touring!” He chuckled at his idiocy making you sour

You, fortunately, got through the period and survived all his countless stupid questions. You rush quickly to get out but as you leave the door you get pulled by a familiar glasses wearer.

“Hey! Ever heard of a greeting!” You yell in annoyance as he continued to grab your hand ignoring whatever you said

“You’ll thank me later songbird” you frown at the nickname as Tsukishima drags you to a more secluded area

“What in the world do you want this time?” you asked in irritation as he lets go of your hand

“Is that guy still bothering you?” He asked ignoring your question

“Yuta? Yeah, wouldn’t stop berating me with questions” you rolled your eyes remembering the thought

“I’ll agree to that idiot’s plan” Tsukishima  crossed his arms coldly

“Huh, which plan?” You questioned innocently 

“For someone who has high grades you sure are stupid and forgetful” he smirked sarcastically as you glare  “The fake dating thing idiot” He scoffed

“Really? Thank you!” You hug him tightly as he blushes madly “I don't think I could take his stalking anymore!” You tightened your hug even more as he tried pushing you away

“Maybe ask before you hug me?” Tsukishima grimaced as you let go

“Oh sorry!” You scratched the back of your neck blushing

Later that day others offered to help you make the plan as real as possible. A lot of arguing mostly between you and Tsukishima refusing to do “things that normal couples do”. 

“Please complimenting her every minute is the last thing I’d do” Tsukishima scoffed

“Yeah that’s really cheesy” you rolled your eyes

“You guys said you wanted to trick him! You're gonna have to make cheesy sacrifices” Tanaka crossed his arms as the two of you sigh in annoyance

“The final step is kissing!” Hinata said excitedly

“NO!” You both yelled in unison

“Awww c’mon! If you both don’t wanna do anything we mention kissing would be more than enough” Hinata soured

“Don’t you think for fake dating that’s a bit too much” you reasoned out

“Y/N’s right kissing is overstepping it” Suga agreed as Hinata pouted and crossed his arms

“Then you’re gonna have to do everything else we’ve mentioned!” Noya smiled as you both sighed

The very next day you decided to take your plan into action

“When you both walk into school, hold hands!” Noya instructed as you sulk

“GO! GO! GO!” Noya shouted pushing the both of you into the school gates

Tsukishima nervously puts his hand on yours. His face goes beet red from getting to hold your hand.

“Your hand feels nice…” you smiled sweetly as his blush grows 

“W-what the hell do you mean by that?” Tsukishima asked nervously

“Oh, I thought it would be salty and sour” you giggled as scoffed “But it’s soft… I like it” you smiled softly 

“Your hand feels nice too… I guess” Tsukishima complimented

“Looks like we got the hand holding and complimenting down” you punch a fist in the air and smile, an action that Tsukishima couldn’t help but find cute

Your excitement comes to a close as you realize everyone in the hallway was watching you surprised at the both of you holding hands and having a normal conversation instead of arguing every five minutes

“Right! I forgot everyone in school’s gonna talk about this” you gulp in nervousness

“Not just the school, the whole of Japan” Tsukishima stated nonchalantly making you more nervous

“I’m sorry you're probably gonna get dragged around by the media after this” you said quietly playing with your hands

“Don’t worry it’ll be fine unlike you I can tell them to fuck off” Tsukishima smirked sarcastically as you pout

“That’s because you're a certified jerkwad” you cross your arms 

“Well you’re gonna have to deal with it pipsqueak” he said as the smugness in his tone increasing

“Let’s just get to our first class!” You scowled as you both walk into your first class

You did everything the others instructed you to. You were sure Yuta saw what you both did since he never leaves you alone at school. The gossip between you two was the only thing the school would talk about. Your next class was the dreaded Math class. You were nervous as you didn’t know what to expect when you sat next to Yuta. Taking a deep breath you went in and sat next to him. 

As expected he didn't talk to you for most of the period which made you worry. Usually, he’d annoy you to death berating you with questions, trying to get on your good side in hopes of having a chance with you. Your thoughts were interrupted when your classmate behind you asked a question

“Heya Y/N! Got a question” the girl asked as you turned around

Sure ask away you responded

“Is it true you’re dating Tsukishima? I was so sure you hated him” she chuckled as you felt the anger seething out of Yuta

“Yeah doesn’t he treat you like garbage?” Yuta interjected coldly 

“Well he may be an annoying asshole but I kinda like that about him” you explain as the tint on your cheeks grows red “I guess he’s not good with showing how he really feels but… I know for sure he cares” you continue “Ohhh! I get it! You’re that kinda gal!” she lightly punched your arm as you giggled

“Yeah I guess so…” you murmured as you felt Yuta’s boiling anger but you chose to ignore it

The whole Math class felt like a breath of fresh air. You didn’t care if you just felt anger from your seatmate. You were finally free now from his stupid questions. After your class finishes you happily walked to lunch and sat next to your usual lunch buddies

“Someone’s in a really good mood” Yamaguchi smiled 

“Yuta left me alone the whole class!” You exclaimed in triumph as everyone sighs in relief

“See! Our plan was foolproof!” Tanaka and Noya said proudly in unison

“Yeah, if it hadn't I would’ve beaten you both to a pulp” Tsukishima scowled

“Alright Mr. Salty Pants you need to calm down” you patted his shoulder as he rolled his eyes

“Don’t call me that pipsqueak” Tsukishima brushed your hand off

“Giving each other nicknames? Are you sure you guys are still fake?” Hinata whispered mischievously as you both blush

“I’ll just return to my food” you brushed Hinata off and started eating as Tsukishima quietly did the same

“At least they aren’t arguing anymore” Daichi sighed in relief

As soon as school finishes you wait at the gate for Tsukishima to be done practicing. You take a long sigh of relief. Besides dealing with the media and school your “stalker” would finally leave you alone. Or so you thought.

"Y/N!" you hear a voice call out as you turned to face them only to be surprised by an angry Yuta walking towards you

"Yuta? I thought you’d be home" by now you spoke innocently as his anger grows

"Cut the innocent bullshit! I know you both aren’t a thing" Yuta yelled coldly as he grabbed you

"Huh? What’re you talking about?" you chuckled nervously trying to push him away

"It was all to make me leave you alone right? C’mon, you really think I was that stupid?" He snickered loudly as you begin to tear up in fear

“Aww don’t cry you’ve got your “boyfriend” to save you- Oh wait he’s not really your boyfriend” he continued to laugh though he soon stopped as you heard the sound of a blow to his face

“Don’t touch someone who’s off limits” Tsukishima scowled angrily as you rushed to hug him tightly

“Don’t make me laugh I know it isn’t real” Yuta said as he got up

“You’re just whiny because unlike you I got their attention” Tsukishima smirked smugly as he received a blow from Yuta

“Tsuki!” You rushed towards his aid as he brushes you off

“Don’t worry I’ve been wanting to kick his ass for a while” Tsukishima said as he got ready to punch him again

“Stop! You’re only gonna get hurt!” You cried out as Yuta slowly approaches the both of you only for a familiar tangerine to drop kick Yuta onto the ground

“I’ve waited forever to do that!” Hinata smiled victoriously as Yuta gets up and runs away

“YEAH RUN YOU COWARD” Hinata yelled 

“Where did you learn to do that?” You asked as he chuckled

“I’ve been practicing with Noya!” Hinata smiled as you ruffle his hair

“You should take Tsukishima to the nursing office. I'll head back and tell the others!” Hinata quickly said as he ran off

“You haven’t finished practice?” you look towards Tsukishima

“Yeah I needed to get something then I found you with him” Tsukishima explained

“Let’s just get you the nurse’s office” you said worriedly as you helped walk him to the nurse’s office

Luckily for the both of you the nurse’s office was empty which saved you both an explanation and or potential punishment. You ushered him to sit down as you grabbed the necessary items to treat his lip. 

“I’m sorry” you mumbled quietly as soon as you finished treating his lip

“What for?” Tsukishima asked holding the ice pack on his lip

“For all of this the fake dating and dragging you into this” you look down as the guilt builds up

“You really don’t have to apologize for that after all I agreed to do this” Tsukishima placed his hand on yours to comfort you

“But you ended up getting hurt because of me” you began to tear up

“It doesn’t matter if I get hurt” he wiped the tears from your cheeks “I would protect you no matter what, whether we're together for real or fake because… I care about you…” he confided pulling you into a tight embrace

“Thank you” hugged him back tightly “y'know… we don't have to keep calling it fake” you smiled 

“What do you-” he gave you a puzzled look as you interrupted hin

“We could do it for real if you want” you blushed shyly

“Yeah… I wouldn't mind that” he smiled

Kuroo

You were in the middle of doing your homework when Bokuto dragged you to come with him to his li’l hangout session in the park with Kuroo.

“Why did I have to come again?” you asked slightly annoyed

“Because Akaashi didn’t want to come” Bokuto frowned, “He said he was busy or something” Bokuto childishly crossed his arms

“Well couldn’t you go there alone? I was in the middle of doing my homework” you pouted

“C’mon! Don’t you wanna spend time with your favorite big brother and his friend!” He tried convincing you with his sad frown

“You’re my only big brother” you narrowed your eyes as his face brightens up

“So you agree?” he smiled triumphantly as you sighed in amusement. You did need a little break anyways

“Well then you’re gonna have to convince Akaashi to help me with my homework as a thank you” you tried to compromise as he nodded his head excitedly

“YEAH! WE GET TO HANG OUT AGAIN!” Bokuto hugged you tightly making you smile at his adorableness

“Alright you goof we don’t wanna keep Kuroo waiting” you patted his back making him release the hug as you both turned to leave

“THERE’S AN ICE CREAM TRUCK OVER THERE!” Bokuto yelled excitedly pointing at the ice cream truck at the front of the park

“LET’S GO!” He dragged you with him running a thousand miles per hour

You both ran to the ice cream shop, terrifying the people on the way and the worker from how fast Bokuto ran. You both bought ice cream for yourselves and Kuroo (which you paid for).

“You owe me two favors now” you warned as Bokuto continued eating his ice cream

“Thank you!” He smiled adorably making you sigh

“Don’t think your adorableness is getting you out of what you owe me” you glared

“Where’s Kuroobro” Bokuto looked around for his black-haired friend but to no avail

“Did he say he was already here?” you asked as Bokuto nodded

“If he doesn’t show up do I owe you an extra favor” Bokuto spoke timidly as you nodded making him gulp

Ironically right after he said that Kuroo appeared out of nowhere looking like he just killed someone

“KUROOBRO!” Bokuto yelled putting his hands on the air in excitement as Kuroo shushes him

“Not the time right now!” Kuroo whispered loudly as you and Bokuto look at each other tilt your head in confusion

“What’s wrong?” Bokuto whispered quietly as Kuroo dragged you both somewhere private near the tree area

“Will you just tell us what’s happening you whispered angrily” as he sighed

“While I was walking around waiting for you guys I met my ex near a bench” Kuroo explained 

“Yeah and?” Bokuto asked naively as you elbowed his arm making him mutter an “ow!”

“Don’t you remember what happened Bo? You were the one who told me all this” you narrowed one eye as he looked at you dazed

“I kinda forgot about her” Bokuto shrugged as you and Kuroo both sigh

“Well my forgetful owl friend she’s still not over me and thinks we still have a chance even if i clearly showed that there is no chance whatsoever” Kuroo frowned 

“Has she been following you since?” You asked as he nodded frustratedly sighing in the process “Yeesh” you patted his back

“Well if you don’t wanna see her we can just stay here I mean we’re all here anyways Bokuto sat down in the grass Ice cream?” Bokuto offered the ice cream you bought for Kuroo as he sat down “Let’s figure something out tomorrow” you offered as he smiled “You both owe me one afterall” you smirked eating your ice cream as Kuroo looks at you with confusion

“What?” Kuroo looked at Bokuto as he gave him an awkward smile

The next day Kuroo couldn’t practice properly thinking about what happened yesterday. It wasn’t long till his team noticed his change in behavior.

“Hey Kuroo, is there something wrong you're acting very off today” Inuoka asked 

“Huh? Nothing’s wrong” Kuroo brushed off as he went to grab the ball

“Something is clearly wrong you aren’t playing properly” Yaku reprimanded as Kuroo rolled his eyes

“Nothing to be concerned about! Let’s get going!” Kuroo insisted

“For the last hour you haven’t practiced properly” Yaku glared “So tell us what’s wrong. Now” Yaku crossed his arms as Kuroo sighed deeply in response going over to the benches before he sat down

“When I went outside to hangout with Bokuto and Y/N, I met my ex” Kuroo explained quietly shocking everyone “Long story short, she’s not over me” Kuroo frowned

“Knowing her I wouldn’t be surprised if she enrolled here just to see you” Kenma spoke nonchalantly making Kuroo sweat

“That would be awkward especially if you have to share a class” Yamamoto added as Yaku elbowed him

“Let’s hope either of that doesn’t happen” Yaku sighed 

“She’d be near impossible to get away from then” Inuoka said worriedly 

“I would die if I saw her attending my games” Kuroo spoke deflated putting his hands on his head

“Let’s try to devise a plan after school we’ll have more time” Yaku suggested as he stood up “For now, you don’t have to force yourself to play in that kind of state” Yaku said empathetically

The whole practice Kuroo was moping around much to the dismay of his teammates. He thought the day wouldn’t get any worse until it was time for him to go home.

“Looks like I got through that pretty fine” Kuroo exclaimed proudly

“If acting mopey the whole practice was fine I don’t even want to know what would happen if you actually meet her” Yaku sighed

“Let’s hope that doesn’t happen” Inuoka said worriedly

“Don’t worry I just have to make it to my house! She’s not gonna appear anytime soon” Kuroo walked towards the gate but was stopped by Kenma pulling him

“Huh? What was that for–” Kuroo gave Kenma a confused look but his face immediately froze when Kenma pointed in front of him

“I think you jinxed yourself” Lev gulped sheepishly

“Did she actually enroll here?” Yamamoto gasped quietly as Kuroo’s ex walks over to them

“CRAP SHE’S COMING” they all panic internally 

“Hey…” his ex said meekly making everyone sweat nervously

“What… what are you doing here” Kuroo slightly grimaced

“Oh i just… wanted to see how you were doing” she mumbled smiling awkwardly which slightly angered the team’s captain

“Didn’t I make it clear at the park already” Kuroo slightly snapped though remained composed as everyone looked at him

“Yeah! But…” she gets cut off by Kuroo’s sigh

“It’s over alright? Just leave me alone” Kuroo growing angry he quickly walked out of the gate while everyone followed him

During the walk home it was pure dead silence accompanied by the angry aura that radiated Kuroo. No one dared to ask if he was okay in fear of further pissing off the captain. The next day Kuroo along with Kenma went to the lockers before heading to class.

“Hey Kuroo sorry for not being to help you during that whole ordeal yesterday” Kenma apologized as he opened his locker

“Eh don’t worry about it” Kuroo shook his hand vertically “It’s not your fault she’s can’t take no for an answer” Kuroo sighed in annoyance as he opened his locker

The two boys then saw a letter inside the locker making them both groan

“You thinkin what I’m thinkin?” Kuroo gave a look of irritation getting a nod from Kenma as a response as he opened it

The letter contained a cringeworthy, half-assed apology going on and on and had endless paragraphs that the two boys didn’t even bother to read

“I’m not reading this shit” Kuroo crumpled the paper and threw it at a nearby trash can

“Looks like she really won’t leave you alone” Kenma stated nonchalantly making Kuroo sigh

“Yeah I need to break it to her delusional self fast” Kuroo huffed throwing his hands on his head in frustration

“Yeah you better get on that quickly” Kenma shook Kuroo’s shoulder and pointed into his classroom “Looks like she’s your new classmate” Kuroo’s eyes widened 

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” Kuroo whined loudly

“Well good luck” Kenma waved goodbye as Kuroo nervously went inside the classroom

During the whole class Kuroo’s ex tried everything to try and talk to him. Even with Kuroo’s clear signs of rejecting her advances she still persisted. The whole ordeal lasted the whole class until he was finally able to get out to which he proceeded to go quickly to the gym.

“GUYS I NEED IDEAS NOW!” Kuroo yelled as he slammed the door open

“Yeah we heard from Kenma that you now share a class with her” Yaku sighed worriedly

“YEAH ON MY FAVORITE CLASS? THE ONLY ONE I’D ATTEND INSTEAD OF PRACTICING!” Kuroo moped and messed his hair in frustration

“Well you’re in luck!” A familiar booming voice was heard outside of the gym

“BOKUTO IS HERE TO SAVE HIS BRO!” Bokuto yelled excitedly as his other team went into the gym

“THANK YOU BRO” Kuroo went to the fellow ace and hugged him as his whole team sighed

“We’ll do that after our practice match” Akaashi reminded slightly deflating the both of them

After the two teams' practice match they decided to devise a plan once they headed to the bench. Kuroo took the time explaining what happened during his class.

“That girl is borderline obsessed with you” you gave a very creeped out face 

“I know right! No matter how many times you say no or make it clear to her stupid brain she doesn't get it!” Kuroo's words seethed anger

“You could expel her from the school!” Bokuto suggested proudly

“That'd only solve his problem in school but not everywhere else” Akaashi stated making Bokuto sigh in defeat

“Why don’t you get a s/o? She’ll probably leave you alone if she sees you with someone else” Kenma nonchalantly suggested as he played on his console

“That’s a great idea!” Kuroo smiled victoriously

“You still need to find someone who’s nice enough to help your sorry self” Yaku sassed as Kuroo responded with a harsh glare

“Y/N can do it!” Bokuto pointed as Kuroo blushed

“Huh? Why me?” you made a grossed out face

“Cuz he’s my best friend! And he needs saving!” Bokuto reasoned 

“That doesn’t answer my question” you crossed your arms

“Well… you're my sibling and you should help your big brother!” Bokuto responded as you narrowed your eyes

“I don’t think I have the time to have a relationship right now” you said making your brother frown

“It probably doesn’t have to be real” Kai put his hand on his chin “if you just make it believable enough to fool her that could work” your brother nodded to his statement 

“Please” he looked at you cutely “Can you did it for your big brother and his helpless best friend” he continued as Kuroo scowled

“I can’t say no to that face” you sigh in defeat as Bokuto jumps up

“Another victory for Bokuto Kotaro!” Bokuto jumped around excitedly

“Y/N would work after all Kuroo does–” Kenma said before his mouth was covered by Kuroo

“Because you're also my friend, yeah!” Kuroo awkwardly smiled as you looked at him weirdly

“Let's start tomorrow then so we can get this done” you spoke to which Kuroo nodded

“Looks like your dream come true with my sibling is coming true” Bokuto whispered teasingly smiling as Kuroo shushed him 

The next day after you finished school you headed to Kuroo’s school and waited outside the gate together with your brother.

“Bo you didn't have to come all the way here I can take care of myself” you said while you watched the students pass by

“Yeah but who would third wheel your date” Bokuto smiled mischievously It will make it more authentic he added

“You’re a really great friend to Kuroo” you smile which Bokuto returned with a big toothy one

“Heya guys!” Kuroo yelled from a distance as he ran over to the both of you “Shall we make Operation Get Rid Of My Ex a go?” Kuroo smirked as Bokuto nodded excitedly

‘This is gonna be so chaotic’ you thought

“Let’s go!” Bokuto grabbed all of you and you three were off

You went to a cozy cafe in Tokyo with a few people coming in and out

“Y’know for someone so obsessed with you it’s weird how she isn’t here yet” you spoke as you drank your coffee 

“What if she doesn’t come! That would make everything a waste!” Bokuto pouted “Well except the food” he said in annoyance as he ate his croissant 

“There’s no way she wouldn't know I was talking about it pretty loudly during lunch” Kuroo explained whilst he ate

“Well she’s here now” you pointed at the open door where Kuroo’s ex sneakily walked in with other customers

“Get into position!” Kuroo whispered as you all did as planned

“Is she watching?” Bokuto nudged Kuroo

“Yeah!” Kuroo replied

You and Kuroo did whatever couples did during dates whilst Bokuto made your stereotypical third wheel make an awkward date. Luckily you were able to play it naturally as you were already pretty close with Kuroo. You couldn’t deny that you found it cute how hard Kuroo was trying. He was very easy going and made sure to ask for your consent before doing something.

“I need to go to the toilet, I’ll be back” you stood up and left leaving the two boys

“I think you’re taking this way too seriously” Kuroo chuckled

“Not as seriously as you seriously enjoying this” Bokuto retorted making Kuroo blushed

“Listen when you decided to set us up you knew what you were doing” Kuroo fought back

“Well yeah! It’s a bros job to get him with the girl of his dreams” Bokuto laughed smugly

“Now you just sound dramatic” Kuroo rolled his eyes

“Maybe but you can’t deny you're enjoying this” Bokuto smirked

“Alright you got me there” Kuroo raised his hands as you came back

“Is the plan working?” you asked quietly 

“Judging from how creepily she’s been keeping a close eye on us, yeah!” Kuroo smiled victoriously

“We just gonna continue from here then” you said

Kuroo’s ex followed you all everywhere keeping a close tab on you and Kuroo especially which made you very uncomfortable. The three of you both finished every activity you had planned for the day so you all opted to go home. 

“Is she still following us?” Bokuto asked quietly

“Yeah I can feel her eyes on my back” Kuroo replied

“Still? She's so creepy man” Bokuto's face turned to disgust

“I feel bad that you had to go through this for the past few days” you patted Kuroo's back as he sighed

“Yeah it's like I get no privacy anywhere besides my house, everywhere I go she's there too”” Kuroo crossed his arms and pouted “Well I guess it’s more enjoyable cuz your here” Kuroo looked at you and smiled making your heart thump

“T-thanks” you said still dazed from what he said

“Hey! What about me!” Bokuto pouted which Kuroo laughed in response

“Of course you too bro!” Kuroo chuckled turning Bokuto’s frown upside down

“We’ll see tomorrow what she thinks” you said as you all reached Kuroo’s house

“Thanks again today was fun” you smiled making Kuroo slightly blush

“Yeah! My pleasure” Kuroo smiled back

The next day Kuroo went through the whole day without his ex bothering him which made him suspicious. But when he did see her in chemistry class she seemed quiet and was distancing herself from him which Kuroo couldn’t help but feel the intense wave of victory. You saw the joyous captain when he walked to you and Bokuto at the gate.

“Someone looks very happy today” you smiled as Kuroo greeted both of you

“She kept her distance the whole day! I say progress!” Kuroo almost squealed in excitement

“All in a day's work of The Best Ace Bokuto!” Bokuto smiled proudly

“Yeah that’s great!” you flashed a thumbs up

“We just need to seal the deal” Kuroo put his finger on his chin before his face lit up “Prom’s this weekend which I think is the perfect opportunity to do it” Kuroo explained “Can I go too! I wanna eat all the food!” Bokuto jumped in excitement which made you chuckle

“Yeah we can all go!” Kuroo  gave a toothy smile

A few days before prom you were in the mall with Akaashi and Bokuto deciding which of the dresses you should buy

“Should I go for this one or this one?” you said holding two dresses

“We’ve been here for like… HOURS!” Bokuto complained as he fell back on the chair

“And? It’s a formal event that needs the proper attire! I need to look my best!” You defended hearing another complain from Bokuto

“Why do you care so much you didn’t care that much last prom!” Bokuto crossed his arms

“Is it because of Kuroo?” Akaashi asked innocently yet you felt there was more intention in his tone

“W’what? N-no?” You blushed hardly surprised from Akaashi’s question

“Looks like I hit a bullseye” Akaashi nonchalantly said

“You like Kuroo?” Bokuto stood up and looked at you

“No! I don’t! It’s just I wanna look my best to make it look real y'know!” You kept trying to defend yourself though Akaashi could see right through you

“You wanna look your best for Kuroo you mean” Akaashi teased to which you glare

“I never thought you’d like my bro!” Bokuto smiled excitedly

“Well, until now” Akaashi smirked which made you blush even more

“Just pick one I’m done with this conversion!” You pointed daggers at the two boys which made Bokuto snicker

It was the day of the prom and Kuroo was very nervous. Though it was only to get rid of his ex he felt that he’d actually taken you to prom and though he didn’t want to admit it but he really wanted to see what you’d look like in your prom dress.

“You look a little too excited” Yaku teased 

“Well yeah! I’m actually going to prom with them!” Kuroo blushed “It still makes me sad though that all this is fake” Kuroo frowned his face darkened

“Well I guess you have to make the most of it right?” Kenma interjected hoping to cheer his best friend up

“You’re right” Kuroo smiled 

“She’s here now!” Lev exclaimed making Kuroo shift back to nervousness

The door opened with Bokuto in a neat tux with a surprisingly formal hairstyle different from his spiked up hair but beside him was you in an elegant outfit also with a formal hairstyle

“Amazed? You should be! I picked it for them just for my best bro!” Bokuto bragged proudly

“You only picked it so we’d get out of the store” you chuckled as Bokuto shot a quick shush

“That doesn’t change the fact that you look pretty elegant” Kuroo scratched the back of his neck in shyness the team were smiling right next to him

“Well let's leave you both to it” Yaku grabbed the others giving the two alone space

“Well? Let’s get started” you smiled excitedly as you dragged Kuroo to the dance floor 

You both couldn’t deny the fun you both had dancing and partying. You had to admit that this was the most fun you had with Kuroo. You felt saddened that after all this your “relationship” was going to end. Though you made sure you made the most out of the time you had left.

“I’m going to the restroom can you get me some more punch when I get back” you asked as Kuroo nodded

“Anything for you m’lady” Kuroo teased as you lightly slapped his shoulder

“Alright you big goof I’ll be off” you chuckled as you went to the bathroom

As Kuroo went to the area with he punch he noticed his ex walking towards him as he got some punch for the both of you making him sigh in annoyance

“What do you want” Kuroo said coldly “Don’t think I didn’t see you follow me a few days ago with my date” he glared putting emphasis on date

“I know but I just want you to give me one chance… just one” she pleaded

“Isn’t what you’ve seen already enough for you to leave me alone” Kuroo snapped

“You don’t have to pretend to be with someone just because you don’t wanna give me a chance” she said making Kuroo laugh

“I think you need to get your brain checked sweetheart you’re acting very cuckoo” Kuroo sneered

“We both know that date was one sided” she scowled taking him back “It’s sad that they pitied you that much that they’d agree to go to prom with you” she continued as Kuroo growed in anger 

“And what? My feelings for them are real! So shove that chance you think you have in your ass!” Kuroo snapped slamming the table next to him “After all it's only good for pleasing other guys isn’t it” Kuroo glared intensely shocking his ex 

“You–” She tried to speak out though she was interrupted by Kuroo

“Whether it’s real or not, they care more about me more than you ever have!” Kuroo scowled the argument grew more heated

“You know you don’t and won’t ever have a chance” she gritted her teeth

“Even so I’d rather chase someone who cares about me even only platonically then a cheating whore” Kuroo clenched his fist“Even if we’ll be stuck as friends forever I’ll live with that I’ll even push those feelings back” Kuroo tried holding his tears back as some began to fall

“Fine let it be that way” she said “Just know you’re pathetic especially for your feelings for them” she walked away leaving Kuroo alone

Unbeknownst to Kuroo you heard everything he said about you. You felt your heart rapidly thumping from everything he professed about you even more so at the thought that he felt those feelings for you and was willing to push them back for you just so you’d both stay as friends. As you were dazed however you noticed Kuroo looking at you.

“I… How long were you watching?” Kuroo sniffed 

“Enough to hear the whole thing” you replied back quietly

“I see…” he looked down trying to wipe the tears

You felt the tension between the both of you grow bigger and bigger you had to say something

“Did you mean all the things you said to her?” You asked 

“Yeah every single one” Kuroo nodded

“Even the part where you’d accept us just being friends” you played with your fingers

“Listen Y/N nothing’s gonna change I promise we can still be best friends and–” Kuroo stopped as he felt your soft lips press against his

“You don’t need to accept us just being friends, I want it to be more” you smiled brightly as he blushed

“Yeah I’d love that!” He spoke as he pulled you for another kiss though you both stopped as soon as you heard a loud YEAH!

“MY PLAN WORKED!” Bokuto let out a very mischievous laughter followed by Yaku punching his elbow

“You ruined their moment!” Yaku scolded

“Sorry I can’t help it!” Bokuto rubbed his elbow 

“Well I’ll have to thank my best bro!” Kuroo cheered “I’M THE BEST BROTHER AND BRO IN THE WORLD” Bokuto yelled in joy with the biggest toothy smile

“Yeah you really are” you smiled brightly

[deer-hearted]

Okay, ages ago I had an idea that was quite similar to @jellynut 's AU, but since it wasn't used like I intended it to, I decided to write it down now as a form of a gift.

I had it in my head for, like 7 years. Now it's your turn to get stuck with it.

Do demons have dreams?

He isn't sure when exactly has it all started, but it had to be something minuscule, not important enough to notice at all. Laughs that were just a tad more loud than usual, sudden waves of anger or annoyance he paid no attention to: he was a moody old geezer, after all, what's so special about it?

But it was special, in a way he absolutely didn't want it to be. Because the estranged emotions rolled out a red carpet, and the dreams followed suit. Places he had never been to, worlds he could never even try to imagine washed over his mind every night like waves licking the board of their boat. Some dreams were light as a feather, some left him nauseous and with a strong desire to take a shower. A crustless sandwich on a spotless white plate. Creatures with faces that didn't even look like faces. The wheel of a fancy car gripped tight by his own fingers. Strange magic rituals performed in a smoky haze. Piles of human hearts, apparently fresh-cut and still bleeding. A young man wearing a genuine smile and hope for the brighter future on a face identical to his own.

Oh, they were not just dreams. And Stanley knew who had to be the owner: sure enough, their mom made them sandwiches too, but not so... flat. Yeesh.

He had punched that triangle bastard so hard, that something must have started to seep through cracks. Something that could either poison them both, or, possibly, give him the upper hand.

Stanley sucks in a deep breath, staring at the waters below. Here we go.

"You there?"

Sharp pain strickes him right between his eyes to remind — yes, he is. He's always there, like some sort of parasite, waiting desperately to be surgically removed.

Oh, that's new. Now you wanna hear me? What's the matter, sailor? Got bored on that teeny-tiny boat of yours? Finally built the gut to eat your twin and don't know where to begin with? I could gladly instruct you, you know.

What? No. Concentration is the key. His fingers clench into fists tighter, knuckles turning pale white. He has to try it, he's running out of options. But could the parasite be even reasoned with?

"I have seen your dreams."

Pause. His breath hitches — and then turns into unwanted laughter, echoing a much louder one from the inside of his mind, shaking him to his very core.

No you haven't. I get it, you have been forgetting a lot of stuff lately, so let me get this clear for you: I AM A DREAM DEMON. How would it look like if I myself had dreams? Who would've haunted them? Me?

"Right, so instead of that abracadabra our subconscious brings up you see your own memories stuck on repeat, no?"

Pause. Waves hit the boat again and again.

Nonsense. Now you're just making stuff up about me. Obsessed much?

"How else would I know about that wonderful "All 70s Greatest Hits" sing-along you had with my brother?"

No response. Disgust coils inside him heavily, empowered by a single fact: all of it must be true indeed, then. But he must go on.

"He'd never tell me about that shit. You're inside my head, smartpants. You can check for yourself."

This time the deafening silence is different, for it is pregnant with meaning. Bill had no idea. He didn't know he knew and, what's more important, what he knew and if there's more.

He hit the nail. All he has to do now — to pull it through. Stanley grits his teeth with angry determination that might not be entirely his own and spits into the waves below.

"Alright, listen here, ya mama's boy. If I tell Sixer about you..."

Pain blinds him again, forcing to hiss. It's always ugly when Bill wants to emphasize his point.

You're not going to, we both know it.

"Shut it! WHEN I tell Sixer about you... I don't have to fill him on everything, ya know."

If the subsiding pain doesn't indicate Bill is listening intently now, he doesn't know what else to make of it.

"You can keep your awful memories to yourself, and whatever it is that you felt, too. That is — if you leave my memories alone. No messing with them, no deleting, no overwriting, no nothing. One slip up, and I stomp your goddamn pride into the ground. Am I clear?"

He's so tired, he wants to dive right into the ocean so the cold waves could wash away all the pain, the stiffness in his body, the images that are now bound to reside in his mind forever. But he also won, because the voice in his head is now steel-clean, and the words feel like a searing brand.

It's a deal, then.

[44-mr-midnight-44]

"(FUCK YOU YOU AQUAMARINE ANGRY LITTLE SHIT!)"

Atop the tall podium, rinsed in an iridescent, golden hue, a celestial rim washing down each corner; trimmed by a dusty silver, shivering with a pearly shine.

"[WHAT DID I DO, HUH? EXACTLY WHAT? DID I STAND WRONG? DID MY EYESIGHT MAKE YOU JEALOUS? AM I OFFENDING YOU WITH MY ABILITY TO SHUT UP?]"

The audience, cornered in the nooks of their seats, twitched and bowed at the rancorous uproar.

"(WELL IIIIIII'M SORRY, I HAD TO CARRY US ALLLLLL THE WAY HERE, YOU GODDAMN CUCK!)"

"Guys…" A well-heighted man, head the shape and hue of a noble planet. "You both won, you don't have to–"

"[WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'CARRY', YOU TURKEY-BRAINED BODY ODOUR-FRAGRANTED PURPLE MASS OF DEPRESSED RODENTS?]" Mind tightly roared from the crease of his lips, whipping his brand new sun trophy onto the podium; a hard, metallic clatter snapping into the flooring. "[IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME, WE WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE INFORMATION OUT THERE ABOUT OUR RIGHTS TO THIS SEAT!]"

"(ARE YOU KIDDING? EVERY CHONNY JASH FAN LOVES ME! I'VE GOT FUCKING APOLOGISTS! YOU'VE GOT PEOPLE WHO FRAME YOU AS THE NARRATIVE'S VILLAIN 'COS YOU SUCK THAT BAD!)"

"[YEAH, AND WHO WAS THE ONE WHO SET UP YOUR KEYBOARDS? AND TRANSLATED SHEET MUSIC INTO SOMETHING YOUR SORRY ASS COULD UNDERSTAND? AND–]"

"(SHUT–)"

"[AND FIGURED OUT HOW TO SET UP YOUR STUPID FUCKING AIR-CONDITIONER, BECAUSE–]"

"(I PAY FOR YOUR PAINKILLER PRESCRIPTION!)"

"['(OHHHHH, I CAN'T FOCUS IN THE HEAT! BUT I WEAR BAGGY HOODIES AND TWO-LAYERED PYJAMAS AND)–']"

"(AT LEAST I DON'T EAT MY GOLDFISHES!)"

"[AT LEAST I DON'T PLAY FNAF SONGS ON THE PIANO AT FOUR IN THE GODDAMN MORNING!]"

"(I WROTE THE BEST SONGS FOR OUR ALBUM! WITHOUT ME, OUR STORY OF HOW WE SUFFERED (MOSTLY BECAUSE OF YOU) WOULD'VE NEVER BEEN KNOWN!)"

"[NAME ONE PERSON WHO USES GOOD DAY AS AUDIO!]"

Words torn from mouth and crashing into each timorous ear surrounding the two, pronounced in a very ired, Australian tongue.

Arms furiously stretched and swung and feet stamped to enunciate visible outrage.

"Yeesh, Moon… I always thought our relationship was bad, but it seems like sun and moons across the universe can get so much worse…" Sun shivered, a quick tug on his coarse yet metallic collar, punctuated by a swift glance to his lunar counterpart. "Over where we're from, we have to deal with living in a giant animatronic mall and occasionally the works of cross-dimensional madness. But over there, it seems to me they really need to learn a lesson about getting along!"

"I could take them in a fight with a small dresser tied to my dominant hand." Moon stared, unblinking, body as stiff as a long rock.

The other contestants watched as the words were rocked and tossed in a staggering hatred.

At one point, Heart's wings had enlarged to mimic that of a threatened bird inflating its stance to appear larger; Mind's chest hummed with the overwork of his fans.

Suns and moons from all sorts of solar systems stationed across the multiverse watched in horror.

Two of them were those guys from Nimona, but I don't know dick about shit about Nimona so you gotta use your imagination for that one.

"Right right, you two have your trophy, just…" The celestial staff member disarmingly motioned their hands, gazing down at the two halves. "What are you going to do with your prize money?"

"(Oh, I'm probably gonna use it on an invasive wildflower and a seven hundred AUD life-sized Lopunny plush.)"

"[To pay off my severe prescription zolmitriptan debt that I'm four months behind on because I spent half my yearly salary on a car that I ended up crashing because of a migraine.]"

Happy tiny niche fandom winning against FNaF and Nimona for all who celebrate

Reblogs > Likes

[usedtobethelegendcreator]

Why do I like Alastor?

Listen. When your therapist starts psychoanalyzing you and it sounds like an Alastor analysis, you gotta do some soul searching. So, I’m going to list off all of our similarities. This is going to be more unorganized than usual.

1. We like being in control:

We’re both puppeteers! We like having people obey us, not the other way around. We’re very anti-submission (my therapist’s word) and don’t like being told what to do. We don’t like having people more powerful than us in the room or even in the area, because something more powerful than us is something that can override our will—and, by extension, our comfort zone and boundaries.

When it comes to romantic relationships, the healthiest solution is to find someone who’s into being dominated. (Cough cough, Vox. I told you guys I write my own kinks.)

2. We have trouble feeling sympathy and empathy:

It’s something I had to practice, but I get the feeling Alastor never bothered. I’m not very good at it, either. Then again, I’m not killing people.

3. We have violent urges:

Yeah, that is very much a thing for me. The difference is that Alastor carries them out without remorse. I usually just ignore those thoughts, or try to think of something else.

4. We mostly stick to one era of music:

Alastor has the Jazz Age, I have the 2010s. Pretty much nothing after 2020 appeals to me, outside of fan songs.

5. We don’t have breakdowns often, but when we do, it’s wild:

Alastor monologued during his. I hyperventilate during mine and feel like I’m not inside my body. Like I said, it’s wild.

6. We pull our hair:

If my hands aren’t occupied, I’ll end up with a hairball in them. But the way Alastor was tugging? With those claws? Yeesh.

7. People see our rage as impotent:

Yes, this is about the people that think Alastor’s frustration with Lucifer was “pathetic”. Yes, that did hit a powerful nerve in me. If you yell right in my ear the moment you open the door, even if I don’t already know you’re the reason there are yearly mass murders, I will immediately hate you. And contrary to a lot of bad-faith fanfiction, buttering up our ego or something is not the solution. The best way to calm us down is to be taken seriously. With Alastor, of course, the ego thing will certainly help, but it’s not the root.

8. We feel impotent when we’re enraged:

This ties in with the last one. Alastor literally grows several hundred times in size when he’s truly angry, that’s pretty obviously a self-comforting action. If I’m bigger than them, they can’t hurt me. If I’m bigger than them, nothing at all can hurt me. That kind of thing.

9. We don’t like constant change:

Alastor’s outfit (which isn’t era-accurate, according to someone much more knowledgeable than I am) is evidence that he isn’t adverse to change as a whole, but someone like Vox is a constant source of anxiety for us. It’s very hard to keep up with something that’s always changing, and we can’t get our feet on the ground and a moment to breathe. I can change which jacket I wear, but never wearing the same jacket twice? Kill me now.

10. We put on a facade around people we want to be in the good graces of:

Alastor with the hotel residents, and me with pretty much everyone. This ‘facade’ I’m talking about isn’t necessarily a fake personality, it’s a facet of our real personalities that will best appeal to the people we’re talking to. That’s another thing my therapist brought up: I’m always putting on a mask, and there’s so many that no one knows who I really am. Hell, even I don’t know at this point. Alastor’s been putting on masks for over a century. I don’t think he knows anymore, either.

I think he thinks he knows who he is, but if someone poked a hole in that image of himself as the Radio Demon, he’d shatter as easily as glass. Because he’s not 100% evil, as much as he wants to be.

11. People think we’re a danger to others, even when we’re not:

*gestures to Vaggie* *gestures to the entire fucking fandom* *gestures to my mother* *gestures to unnamed family members that didn’t even have the guts to say it to my face* It sucks. Like, thank you for taking me seriously for once??? But also no.

12. We have dramatic body language to make up for stunted facial expressions:

Alastor has his eternal smile, and I have my eternal frown. The facial expressions thing was actually brought up by a previous therapist. I’ve had to throw my arms out like a theatre kid to make sure a family member knew I wasn’t being sarcastic…I’m not a theatre kid.

13. We switch between being extreme extroverts and extreme introverts:

I’ve said before that I’m low functioning in almost everything except social interaction. I can keep up with the fastest mouths and the longest-winded, but I’ll disappear for a week and only emerge for water. Meanwhile, Alastor keeps up his overly-cheerful facade up for the whole series and disappears for two episodes. And for seven years before that.

14. When people talk shit to us, we fly off the handle at the speed of light:

Husk in the hallway scene. Lucifer, period. Vox at the end of episode two. Everyone on Tumblr and Wattpad that’s ever picked a fight with me. That one anon in particular. The list goes on.

15. We have very stunted emotions, except for anger:

I don’t know why anger is an exception, either. But we don’t see any strong emotions from Alastor besides rage (and maybe amusement), so it’s clearly a thing for him too.

16. We enjoy the smell of death:

Death smells pretty nice, actually. There’s nothing quite like it. Alastor gets it. If anyone wants the full story of Larry the Rotting Deer Carcass, let me know. I’d love to tell it.

And that’s all I can think of right now. This definitely veered into a bit of character analysis for Alastor, but then again, I was analyzing myself, so that just proves my point.

[william-m-lucipher]

RATING A FEW OF MY PUPPETS!

THEY ALL HAVE THEIR UPSIDES AND DOWNSIDES! HERE ARE MY OPINIONS ON A HANDFUL OF 'EM!

SIXER: MASSIVE AMOUNT OF BRAIN SPACE, FILLED WITH COMPLEXITIES! ALSO A GOOD CHUNK OF EMBARRASSING NERD MEMORIES. HIS MIND IS WHERE ALL THE LUXURY WAS!

BODILY EXPERIENCE WAS INTERESTING, HIS EYESIGHT WAS LACKING EVEN WITH THE GLASSES. IT SEEMS HE'D GONE A WHILE WITHOUT RENEWING HIS PRESCRIPTION. SURE, THE GLASSES LESSENED THINGS, BUT YEESH! ONE EYE WAS ALWAYS WORSE THAN THE OTHER, BUT THEY WERE BOTH IN BLURRYTOWN. TALK ABOUT A LACK OF DEPTH PERCEPTION! THE EXTRA FINGERS THOUGH, THEY WERE FUN! AND THAT GUY HAD A DECENT-ISH PAIN TOLERANCE THANKS TO THOSE OLD BOXING LESSONS HE AND HIS BROTHER WERE FORCED TO DO. IT WAS FUN TO TEST THE LIMITS!

A SOLID 8/10, GREAT GUY TO WORK WITH, POSSESSION EXPERIENCE COULD'VE BEEN BETTER THOUGH!

PINE TREE: BRAINWISE, LESS COMPLEXITY, MORE COMEDY, AT LEAST IN MY EYE! HE WAS A SMART KID, SURE, BUT MAN, RERUNS OF HIS LOWLIGHTS WILL KEEP ME ENTERTAINED FOR AGES. IMAGINE AN ACTUALLY FUNNY CRINGE COMPILATION THAT NEVER GETS OLD! THAAAAT'S PINE TREE!

AS FOR THE BODY, BETTER EYESIGHT, BETTER JOINTS, AND THE PAIN TOLERANCE WAS TERRIBLE, WHICH WAS GREAT FOR ME! IT WAS THE FIRST THING I NOTICED WHEN I TOOK THE STRINGS, HAHA! THOUGH BEING SWEATY, SMELLY, AND TICKLISH KINDA RUINED THE DELUXE SUITE FEEL. EH, WHEN DEALING WITH THE HUMAN BODY, THERE'S NO WAY TO HAVE IT ALL, EVER.

7/10, AT LEAST I'VE GOT A LOT TO LAUGH ABOUT.

HIRSCHEY: I THINK IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS AT THIS POINT THAT I'VE BEEN PULLING THE STRINGS WITH FLANNELBRITCHES FOR A GOOD WHILE NOW. LONG BEFORE HE EVEN SECURED A ROLE WITH THE MOUSE, I'VE BEEN A SUBTLE INFLUENCE!

NOW LISTEN, I'D LOVE TO SPILL EVERYTHING, BUT THIS GUY HAS ALL THE RIGHT CONNECTIONS TO RUIN EVERYTHING IF I MAKE THE WRONG DECISIONS WHILE USING MY OTHER PUPPETS IN THIS REALITY. LET'S JUST SAY, HIS BODY IS MID, BUT HIS MIND ALONE ADDS EXTRA POINTS! I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN, HAHA!

9/10, WHAT A GOOD FRIEND!

BURNSIDES: OH WAIT, I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THIS YET! WINK! HAHA, COME BACK TO THIS POST FOR THE ANSWER ON SMOKEY'S BIGGEST FAN IN A FEW DAYS.

?/10, TO BE ANNOUNCED

EAS-Y: THE ONE I'M CURRENTLY USING! GONE BY SEVERAL DIFFERENT NAMES, BECAUSE THEIR MEAT SUIT IS LITERALLY STUFFED WITH SEVERAL DIFFERENT PEOPLE DUE TO CHILDHOOD TRAUMA, HAHA!! THE HUMAN MIND HAS SOME WEIRD COPING MECHANISMS. E.A.S STANDS FOR THE SILLY NAME FOR THEIR SYSTEM THEY PICKED ONE DAY ON A WHIM.

MY FAVORITE ONE HERE HAS TO BE ZILLARA, WHO I ONCE REFERRED TO AS "T" DURING AN APRIL FOOL'S EVENT ON THE SYSTEM'S ABANDONED ACCOUNT. (IT WAS SHORT FOR THE COLLECTIVE DEADNAME OF THIS VESSEL.) HE'S AN OLD HOST AND AN OLD PAL! Z'S BEEN SO... GENUINELY NICE TO ME FOR ALMOST TEN YEARS NOW. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM?! HAHA!!! Ah... ENOUGH ABOUT JUST ONE GUY, THOUGH, THIS PLACE IS PACKED WITH EM! BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THEY DON'T HAVE WIGGLE ROOM. THIS MIND IS MORE SPACIOUS THAN PINE TREE AND SIXER'S COMBINED, BUT IT'S ALL BEING USED ON KEEPING FOLKS COMFORTABLE AND GUARDING HARMFUL MEMORIES. LISTEN, I'M NOT SALTY ABOUT THE MEMORY GUARDING. I TOOK A PEEK, AND JEEZ, IT'S DEFINITELY FOR THE BETTER.

ANYWAYS, THIS PLACE IS LAYED OUT LIKE A WHOLE SMALL TOWN! BEST VACATION HOME OUTTA ALL OF 'EM! AS AMAZING AS HIRSCHY'S IS, IT'S BUSY BUSY BUSY EVERYWHERE, ALL THE TIME. PARTIALLY MY FAULT FOR GETTING HIM INTO THE ANIMATION INDUSTRY. SORRY THERE, BUDDY!

THE DOWNSIDE TO IT ALL IS THAT EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE PLENTY WHO LIKE ME HERE, I'VE ALSO GOT A FAIR SHARE OF ENEMIES WHO CALL THEMSELVES "PROTECTORS" AND "GATEKEEPERS." NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF AN ANGRY SECRETARY LADY, LET ME TELL YOU!

BODY WISE, IT'S QUITE THE PAIN BUFFET! BAD JOINTS, MIGRAINES, LOW PAIN TOLERANCE, AND MAN, THE TICS AND SEIZURES! YOU'D THINK GIVEN MY EXPERIENCE WITH BODY SPASMS WHILE PUPPETING PINE TREE, I'D HATE THESE, BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT! IT'S SOME OF THE FUNNIEST PAIN, THE PUNCHLINE HITS YOU OUTTA NOWHERE, SEVERAL TIMES, IN SEVERAL DIFFERENT WAYS!

8.5/10, TALK TO YOUR PROTECTORS AND YOU MIGHT EARN THE FIRST 10, OR AT LEAST A 9.8!!!

IN SUMMARY:

- SIXER'S A DECENT PUPPET, BUT A BETTER ALLY. STILL A SHAME HE NEVER JOINED ME

- PINE TREE IS A PERSONAL COMEDY CLUB!

- HIRSCHEY IS A GREAT PUPPET, AND A POWERFUL ALLY WHO COULD EASILY BECOME MY WORST ENEMY

- I'M UNDER NDA ABOUT GUS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE

- EASY HERE IS, WELL, THE EASIEST ONE!!

MAYBE I'LL RATE A FEW MORE SOMETIME, LIKE CHARLES GUITEAU, OR WITH LUCK, YOU!

[tmwcs]

i love ur work too much i swear!! Could you do a text type thing where y/n responds to heethans text with “she’s busy bro”🙏🫶

awwww thank you!! that means the world to me! and ofc, i hope i succeeded. let me know how i did, i'm known to add some twists and flares to these things so i'm hoping i didn't disappoint. ;)

MDNI18+ bc of mentions of smut, smut related things, smut vibes, and smut talk.

Breaching the door to the classroom, Ethan started to reach for the knob, when suddenly H/N walks out, with her bag and books in hand. Heading to the bathroom to touch up her makeup before Jake picks her up, she intended to hang out for a bit and not bother going back inside since tonight, her and Jake were going to the movies. Gasping out of instant fear, she regains her breath after being stunned to see that Ethan was blocking her way with his staggering height.

"Oh! Ethan....you're here."

"Move the fuck outta the way."

"What the Hell? Can you for once not be a dick? What are you even doing here? I told you y/n was busy."

"........what?"

"Didn't you see the text i sent? you kept blowing up her phone while she was giving her presentation, which she barely aced but only because i silenced her phone after i texted you. Yeesh....you know you gotta let her be when she's in class, otherwise you're going to sabotage her grades."

".........what........text........?"

"The text i sent in response to all of yours! When i told you she' was busy. Come on bro."

Blinking his wide and sinister eyes, H/N tried to maintain a brave face yet failed to keep it steady as Ethan took a step closer while tilting his head, biting his lip down, puncturing flesh, all in his traditional manner to express his anger.

"Aaaaaaaah........gooooooooot it..........okay.......goood.......to.........go." Ethan merely responded while slurping up the slight bit of blood that dripped from his lip.

........................

You kept peeking towards the back of the classroom, surprised to not find Ethan standing there with that eerie gaze he always propelled your way. Yet every five minutes, up until class was up, you peered a look behind and found jus the empty seats, the blank walls, and the door shut.

"Strange....he seemed really angry earlier......did he change his mind?...."

Once the teacher had dismissed the class, you collected your books and bag, noting that H/N never returned from the bathroom, you recalled her mentioning that her and Jake were having a small date. Figuring that she had already been picked up, you left the class on your own. Opening the door, your eyes widened at seeing Heeseung standing across the hall, waiting for you with a soft smile.

"He went back to Heeseung?.....Wonder why......."

"He....Heeseung?"

"Hey pretty baby, all finished?"

"Yeah....um.....are you okay? pleasantly surprised to see Heeseung....and his Ethan side to be seemingly calm, you took his hand in yours and returned the smile back.

"Yeah I'm fine baby. I"m sorry about earlier, turns out to be a misunderstanding. Lets go get you some of those tarts you like from your favorite bakery and watch Netflix, hm?" Raising your hand to his face, he places a soft and tender kiss on the back of your palm. Pulling you in, he starts the evening with a delicate and soft peck to your lips, all the while rubbing the tip of his nose against yours. "I love you. I wasn't too harsh earlier, was i?" he softly expresses with his lips brushing against yours.

"No.....you're fine....you both are." you teased out as he places one kiss after another all over your face, entirely happy every time you initiated a flirting session, causing the butterflies to flicker in his gut and force the blood to rush through his limbs.

"My girl......"

Taking your books and bag, he holds your hand and walks you out of the building, across the lot, and into his car, like he always did. Tucking you into the seat, he walks over to the drivers side and sits himself down before starting the car.

"So........what happened earlier? The misunderstanding i mean." you asked softly, looking at him with an innocent sense of curiosity.

"Oh nothing....i took care of it." petting the back of your head, he leans in over the center console and kisses you. You knew Heeseung enough to know better than to pressure for answers if he didn't already give it. So you decided to look into the matter no further...yet you still wondered......

"............took care of what exactly?......"

.................................

Walking into the room, rather angry, H/N drops her bag and prepares to wait for Jake to return. He was supposed to pick her up yet, without so much as a phone call or text, he never showed. Fortunately one of the girls ran into her. After explaining that she had been waiting for over twenty minutes, her friend offered her a ride.

Now she just has to wait for Jake to come back and give her an explanation.

Sitting on the edge of his bed, she crosses her arms and huffs out an irritated expression. When suddenly the door creaked open.

"There you are! Where the Hell were you? Did you forget? Why didn't you return any of my calls or text? That was so rude! I was stuck there!" going on autopilot, she lets loose the bursts of anger and annoyance in her tone as she stood up, and walked squared up to Jake. She paid no mind at the fact he was much taller than her, she was livid.

"Say something! Give me an explanation or an apology or something! Why would you do that? I-"

Hissing, Jake cuts her tone off by placing his index finger on her lips.

"Hmmmmmm..........stardust........you have something to tell me?"

Confused, h/n shakes her head as she furrows her brows. "What are you talking about?"

"Were you a baaaaaaaad girl today?"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"You know........"

Leaning down, setting aside some of her hair and tucking it behind her ear, he whispers....

"Have you been playing on other people's phones?"

Blinking with wide eyes, a small gasp escapes through slightly parted lips as she stares into his eyes. Standing back straight up, his arms remained crossed, Jake scoffs. "Huh........looks like you have......bad girl."

".....are you talking about....with Ethan? I only texted him becaus-"

"Hhhhhhhhhh/nnnnnnnn........."

"..........w....what?"

Reaching behind to his back pocket, he removes something that remained out of her sight....until he dangles it in front of her face.

A leash, with a collar gripped in his other hand, he hangs the leathered piece in front, swaying it left to right as it dangles in a lengthy form, nearly reaching the floor. Gasping, she stutters out ".....wh....what.....what is that...?"

Laughing with a taunting smile, a gaze that gears towards the border of criminal love, he deeply responds....

"Time to play."

Wide eyed and feeling fearful for what was about to come.....h/n watches as Jake took his steps closer......and closer.......

*bzzzzzzz*

Glancing over to the side as her back reaches the wall, slowly succumbing to the trap as Jake breaches nearer, H/n looked down to the nightstand next to her and saw Jake's phone displaying the last text message traffic.

Skimming through the text boxes, H/N views the message that just came in.......causing her to shutter.

Projecting her sight back to Jake, she shook her head as she watched his deviant smile grow wider. Delicately gripping the item with his two fingers, he dangles another toy....one that was not present just moments ago. Though now, seeing it with the leash and collar, she realized just what Jake had in stored for her.

"What's wrong baby? Its in your favorite color. Lets get you ready for our nice little walk...."

♥️

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[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Credit: pixiv.net/artworks/73021597

(1. The title apparently translates to "Momota-kun accidentally picked up something that Saihara-kun had dropped." 2. I believe that's Kaede's panties?)

Judging from the current state of affairs, are we sure they don't belong to Maki?

No, those are definitely Kaede's. Maki's are white with string hem. I think she's just embarrassed and angry that you're holding another girls panties.

Okay, so Kaede's I get, but how come you know what MAKI'S underwear looks like!?

Because everybody gives them to me as a sign of friendship and I DON'T KNOW WHY! How did you not know this; even YOU did it!

Bullshit, what do they look like then?

They're baggy black boxers with red stars on them.

...!?

SEE!?

Yeah, Kaito, I know that you just found them, but don't let us catch you with my panties.

Or else we BOTH might have to kill you.

Yeesh! Alright, I'll keep that in mind...!

[lazyrezi]

Okay but. It's true! Murderbot might be angry right now but. That took insane levels of trust + knowing each other enough to predict what their next step would be/what they would be thinking

Arada and Overse being a couple themselves have probably had similar arguments let's be honest

Like!! Even now! Murderbot is like of course it did. It's not surprised by the lengths ART will go to! The only thing it cannot see is how much of this plan relied on ART faith in Murderbot itself alone!

Well ART really isn't doing itself any favours

Too bad they're both allergic to saying nice things to each other's faces (does ART have a face?)

Yeaaah. Um. With Murderbot's history that's gotta sting. Even as ART'S lawyer I don't know how to spin that one

I'm reading this as ART sticking up for Murderbot against Thiago who was frankly being very rude considering Murderbot was the one who kept his niece alive by killing the hostiles so. You know. You're welcome for the murder?

Hahahahaha

Please no fighting in front of the children

Ok ignore me keep on fighting

The child in question put a stop to it anyway (for now)

Yeesh

Yeah

Maybe don't say that?

[r41nc4ndy]

The first Zip of Beer!

Sorry chat I kinda forgot to write the ff but I‘m here now 😈

This is basically just drunk Edward and Zip

Disclaimer: There will be no romance nor any reader inserts, this is just a silly little FF.

It might be OOC

Also I have no clue on how to write drunk people

CW: mentions of beer and drunk people

—————————————————————

"Zip, what the fuck."

Edward and Oliver stared at Zip in unified bafflement and confusion. They weren’t strangers to beer, but sneaking a huge ass bottle to school? And not even trying to hide it? They had their boundaries themselves! (Claire would disagree.)

"What’s up?"

Zip, seemingly not noticing how it‘s strange she took it with her to school, looked back just as confused.

"Won‘t Miss Circle get angry?"

"Yeah, there‘s NO WAY any of the teachers are gonna let that slide, no matter how much they favor us."

As soon as they said that, Zip understood why they were staring and let out a prolonged 'Oooh'

"Well honestly, that‘s only if you snitch me out, y‘know? But my favorite pookies wouldn’t do that! Riiiiight?"

Zip said, batting her eyelashes.

In response to this, Edward just quietly asked

".. Can I have some?"

To which Zip happily complied and took out a glass from her bag..? How much fits in that bag?! Well, I‘d rather not question it.

Zip then finally started eating her lunch and chugging that Pils down like there was no tomorrow. Didn’t seem to have much of an affect on her. The same couldn’t be said for Edward, though.

"Woooowahhhhhzzz… Zip that’s so funny gimmie more nowww!"

"Yeesh, You’re already drunk? Weak."

"Zip now isn‘t uh.. the time for that. How‘s he supposed to show up to class?"

"Say he got a brain injury."

"He reeks of beer! No way they‘d accept that excuse!"

Zip and Oliver started debating over what to do (Or better said, Oliver trying to come up with an excuse because he felt like having a trouble free day today while Zip didn‘t care too much.), while Edward quietly took Zip‘s bottle to drink more as he took her lack of answer as a yes.

"HEY! That‘s mine! Give it back!"

"Nuh uh!"

Edward held it up as Zip tried to reach it so as to get it back.

"I paid for it with MY money!"

"I gooot to it first!"

"Guys- we‘re at school c‘mon.."

Oliver tried to quietly separate them but failed miserably. He could only watched as they fell off the cafeteria bank and started struggling on the floor, occasionally interrupted by things like 'Gimmie that!', 'That‘s mine!' Or anything of the sort.

At that point, Oliver decided he gave up and got up, wanting to go to his amazing girlfriend, but instead got stopped by a familiar sight.

"M-Miss Circle! What‘s the best math teacher doing here?"

Oliver rather loudly said, trying to get the attention of Zip and Edward, but to no avail as the kept fighting for the beer.

In response to this, Miss Circle walked up and picked the two up.

"I think that Miss Grace would like to see you both."

Both Zip and Edward immediately stopped, staring up at Miss Circle as they were dragged away, leaving the forgotten bottle and Oliver standing there.

".. Losers. Totally forgot about it."

*He picked it up and was gonna drink from it, but only got a hand placed on his shoulder.*

"And I‘ll be confiscating that."

"Awh shucks. :["

———————————

This was my first FF and NOT HC! I Hope you guys liked it!

[dluebirb]

Obituary of Our Own ⛧ Chapter One

So. I made another AU. What are you gonna do!

Huge props to @3mutantsinatrenchcoat, @justletmereadmycomics, and @bigmoneysniffler for being my wonderful beta readers and editors! I literally can't thank you enough askdljsdewfe

---------------------------

In Leo’s humble opinion, the week's villains were getting pretty shelling pathetic.

“Afternoon, boys! Ritual, huh? How’s that working out for you?”

With a grunt, Leo caught the two robed figures he was facing with a kick to the chest, and they fell onto the mostly completed ritual in the shape of a pentagram, with candles adorning the star tips.

Honestly, it was a wonder they could get this organized.

“Sayonara, SUCKERS!”

Across the way, the moron who was the self-appointed leader (as far as Leo could tell) pointed at another duo and shouted, “Finish it, now! Quickly!”

One of the two lit the last candle, and a sizzling portal appeared. Leo had to fight the gut reaction to cover his face against a steel mech's spearing tentacle or sharp hand that would never come.

“Oh, crud!” Mikey exclaimed and held his nunchaku defensively.

“Man, get another gimmick! That’s my thing!” Leo called and launched a sword at the portal, which curved around it in an arc. In the blink of an eye, he was in midair, holding both swords again. Leo created his portal with his other sword, encompassing the red one before they both fizzled out of existence. A small… something tugged at his gut.

“Alright, Mike, say it with me: You’ve been portal-chopped!”

After a moment, he looked at his younger brother. “You didn’t say it.”

“Sorry!”

As Leo called them in his head, one of the Weirdo Wizards healed their hands out and, true to their name, began to presumably cast a spell.

However, they were still a Weirdo Wizard. The “spell” did nothing at all, rather dissappointingly.

“BOO!” Mikey exclaimed. “BAD SHOW!”

Leo’s communicator clicked on, and Donnie’s monotone could be heard over the slight static. “April’s headed your way! She got chucked!”

“Ten-four, good buddy!” Turning up to Mikey, still, at the edge of the small crater Leo was fighting in, Leo cupped a hand around his beak. “MIKE! ANY SIGN OF APRIL?”

Mikey squinted and used his hands to block the light from the streetlamps so he could see better. “YEP! OVER THERE!”

Leo followed Mikey’s pointed finger and spotted April’s tiny frame hurtling through the air.

"Yeesh," He winced. "I got her!" He swung a sword, and a portal nabbed April right out of the sky.

“Done and done,” Leo said into the comm. He thought it odd that she hadn’t reappeared, but who was he to judge his portals? Besides, if Donnie did record everything, they could find her in a pinch.

Someone yelled, and they both turned to the sound. Raph was standing over a robbed figure, their hood down. It was a middle-aged blonde woman with and sharp glasses, the type you’d see in a spy movie.

“DAMN IT! AGENT ONE!” she shouted, and the same guy that had cast the ‘spell’ whipped out a gun, and shot the ground by Raph, who jumped to avoid it with a squeak.

“Diversion!” Leo shouted, cupping his hand around his mouth.

“On it! Bringing the razzmatazz!”

Leo watched with tentative concern as Mikey used his mystic hands as he flipped over ‘Agent One,’ and his orange magic poured into the air.

At least his hands weren’t cracking, Leo reminded himself.

But before he could do much of anything with the aforementioned powers, the blonde sent a sharp kick to Mikey’s shell, and he crumpled forward, his hands going to cover his face on instinct.

A sharp scream reminded Leo with a piercing shock that Mikey’s powers had been activated. He swore, and ran towards his younger brother. He faintly registered Donnie striking the woman down with his staff, and Raph let out a second yell, this one more fearful and angry.

Leo tugged Mikey across the ground, and pried Mikey’s arms away from his face. Yellow-ish orange circles of magic tugged across the right side of his face, where his hands had made contact.

“Okay, this is fine, you’re good! You’re good, you’re fine,” Leo muttered, and dragged his sword through the air as Raph gently lifted Mikey. “We’ll meet you back at the Lair,” he explained, and Raph nodded, giving a reassuring smile as he stepped through the portal and it snapped closed behind him.

Leo turned back to Donnie, and saw his purple brother dodge a blast from a large gun that he would have invented. Leo wondered if he was bitter that these clowns had beaten him to the punch as he dodged a blast of plasma.

“Dude! How come you got to fight the cool guy?”

“You fought him too, if you remember…”

“Yeah, but then he was just waggling his fingers like one of those cosplay wizards April hates!”

“Tch. Skill issue.”

Leo swept under one of them, and used his sword to force the blaster up, and it ricocheted into the air, taking out a street light.

“Would you stay still?!” The man spat, and Leo shrugged.

“Never really been my forte, you know?”

Donnie smacked the gun out of the woman’s hand, and as she pulled out a knife, snarling, the blaster went off, heading straight for a nearby support beam.

“Oh, pecans… LEO!”

“On it!”

Using more effort than he could take comfort in, Leo sliced open two portals: One to catch the blast, and the other to redirect it.

Turning to Donnie, he called: “Time for us to go!”

“See you never!”

As Leo sliced open another portal, Donnie running backwards toward it, the blast touched down, and they were both shot backwards, all four of them letting out a yell.

The last thing Leo saw before the darkness kicked in was the blinding light, and the agents throwing themselves to the side.

A/N: I haven't written fanfic in a hot second, so I'm just getting back into the groove here, I hope it was enjoyed! More chapters are on the way!

[altocat]

so i'm trying to get back into the swing of things after almost a decade of being out of ffvii fandom and ever crisis has rekindled a very powerful desire to write and write until my fingers fall off. so i'd like to ask, since you're in the tags and seem quite knowledgeable: what is your opinion of genesis's writing in crisis core?

i've always been of the opinion he was woefully mishandled, and i'm currently trying to reconcile what we were given with what i assume they were going for. got about 2k of a fic with a slightly difficult to explain premise written so far, but sephiroth is pre-nibelheim in post-advent children time (no dirge of cerberus) where genesis is about a decade older than him now. and they're navigating the fallout of the last time they saw each other.

i'm using a lot of what we're learning about sephiroth to color their relationship, too -- my boyfriend skillfully pointed out that it feels like genesis may have developed a parasocial attachment to the version of sephiroth that shinra fed him through propaganda, and when he met the real thing he was let down and became resentful.

so i'm wondering, how do i handle it without making it into a personal vendetta against how horribly i felt genesis was written? heh

The writing on Genesis in CC is....yeesh.

I'd chalk that up to many things--general mishandling, the fact that Genesis is only limited to appearing when Zack is present, and some translation issues from the Japanese language over to English. Lots of his arc as a character doesn't really feel earned, or they don't take enough time to establish his good qualities to make the player care about him.

It's important to note that, despite the fact that the game failed to shed proper light on this, Genesis DOES have many good qualities. He's kind to the lower ranking soldiers, whom he reads to. He and Sephiroth, for all their rivalry, seemed to be close at one point. He was presumably a good friend to Angeal. And even Gackt himself has said that Genesis has a "sweet" streak hidden beneath all that bluster.

It's equally important to note that the Genesis we see in CC is desperate, dying, and under the influence of the Degradation Process. Angeal himself points out that the process seems to dull the mind, clouding it. Sephiroth may or may not have some variation of this as well once his Jenova cells are activated in Nibelheim. So Genesis is really not "himself", warped and twisted, trying to preserve his life, angry and bitter at what Shinra did to him. He's at his lowest point emotionally and psychologically, hence why he does what he does. The writing....just doesn't convey it well.

As for his relationship with Sephiroth, I feel like Sephiroth was closest to him out of all his friends, and Genesis' previous idolization of Sephiroth is the primary reason why he WANTS to be the best. He wants to beat Seph to prove that he's WORTHY of being around Seph. As a boy, Seph was his hero. He HAS to surpass him or become his equal to prove that he can stand toe to toe with the person he feels is a real hero. The dilemma is that Sephiroth never wanted to be a hero and would have always valued Genesis just as he is. Genesis already had what he was looking for...he just didn't realize it until it was too late. They're a complicated pair, with lots of miscommunication, unresolved tension, and poor decision making shared between them. I think they needed to talk to each other more than anything else. Because there was something genuine there. They could have kept it, they could have shared the apples just like Genesis always wanted.

Post-CC, I see Genesis carrying a lot of guilt. Both his friends are "dead" and he basically kicked off the events that led to it. He's been pardoned by Minerva and will now act as the planet's hero and protector, but at the cost of the people he loved. There's no real room for arrogance anymore. He's a hero not out of pride, but shame and remorse. He's tired, lonely, and now fully recognizes the pain of what heroism truly is. He's "grown up" in a sense, become a different person. Crisis Core is a coming of age story in many ways, not just for Zack but for Genesis as well. It's too bad they kinda bungled the delivery.

Hope all of that helps! Genesis is actually a really interesting character when you dissect him. He's sorta become one of my top faves over time, even if I fully recognize him as a complete trashlord. But I think there's more to him deep, deeeeep down.

[ask-fgod]

Coming back from after he fell, Error was expecting a lot of things. He can't say he didn't expect this, but somehow it still makes him angrier than he's ever been.

hey guys... guess who just finished their one-shot instead of working on their other fic!!! it me. text under cut if you dont want to click on the link.

Error didn’t know what he was expecting when he landed back into his multiverse.

But it wasn’t this.

A figure resembling him stood over Ink, a hammer hovering above him. The only reason he hadn't struck yet was the fact that Dream was holding him back. None of them had realized his presence yet, minus…

Nightmare. Unlike the others, his gaze was solely focused on him. He wasn’t doing anything to stop the figure. 

That figure, though… Who…?

“E- Error…” Nightmare breaks him out of his thoughts, and with that, all attention is placed on him. Error holds his two children, Null and Void, closer, ready to defend them at any cost. 

He isn’t holding them close because of NIghtmare, of course, but he knows Dream and Ink would do everything in their power to take them away from him. Him being the “God of Destruction” and all, surely to them he can’t be safe.

But right now, he has to deal with the fact that all eyes are on him.

“Is that…” 

“WHAT THE SHIT???”

Dream loosens his grip, and the hammer bonks Ink on the skull, hard enough to make a crack drip ink from his skull.

“Owowowow… Yeesh Blue, did you have to hit me that hard?” Ink retorts.

Blue just hits him again in response.

“AGH! Error’s here now, so you can stop beating the absolute everything out of me! I’m gonna die if you keep this up!!!”

Blue shouts back. “Do you think that I care?! The whole point is to leave you dead!!! You made it to where I kind of have to kill you because little mister ink blot won’t stop overflowing this multiverse with his bullcrap!!!”

Oh…

Oh.

Error realizes what’s going on right at this moment. Who this person is, who their role is, it’s all obvious.

And it makes him very, very angry.

He knew Ink didn’t stop when he left. He knew that someone was forced to take his place because of that. But seeing it with his own eyes is something else.

In the millenia he has lived, never before has he been so fuming.

“Void, Null.” He tries to hide the anger in his voice, pointing at Nightmare. “Go to the goopy man over there. I have to do something real quick.”

‘But Roro…” Null shyly replies.

Error looks down at him, faking a smile on his face. “Don’t worry, He may seem scary, but he’s a really nice man. He’ll keep you safe, like I do.”

Both children run off to Nightmare, Null leading Void along the way. 

With that done, and the comfort that his kids will be in safe hands, he approaches Ink.

"You." He growls at Ink, inching closer by the second.

Ink looks from one side, to the other, and points at himself. "Me…?"

Error spreads his strings through the air, and tangles up him. In his surprise, Ink doesn't run away fast enough. "Yes, you! Do you have no respect for other people? Other life???"

"Y- Yeah! Of course I do! I create things, you're the one with no respect for others!!!" He shouts back.

"Then explain," Error gestures at Blueberror, "him!!!"

"I don't know what happened to him to make him that way! Honest!!!"

The strings tighten around Ink. "You must at least know that you are a part of the reason why that happened, shouldn't you? Or are you just going to lie about that too!!!"

"Error!!! Stop!" Dream shouts.

"Keep going!!!" Blue yells.

Error keeps going. "You didn't stop when I left, even though you knew that it'd doom this place! The only reason that this multiverse hasn't collapsed yet is because of Blue!!!"

Ink just stares at him like he's stupid. Like he's making stuff up. "I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"You have," Error shakes Ink in his grip, "every idea what I'm talking about! Just admit it!!!"

"I don't know what to admit to you, Roro! I dunno 'bout anything you're saying!"

"So who made him like that, then? He retorts. "What made it to where this place needed another thing like me???"

"Uh… Hm… Erm… I dunno! Maybe ya did somethin' to him! It'd make sense, since you always blame me for everything wrong that you do."

The world goes silent. Everyone, Dream, Nightmare, Blueberror, Void, Null, and Error… especially Error, just stare at Ink.

Error closes his eyes, and takes a breath in and out. 

Calm down. 

He isn't worth your time.

Calm down. 

How could he say that?

Calm down. 

Stop thinking about it.

Calm down. 

Why did he say that?

Calm down. 

He shouldn't snap.

Calm down.

But he's going to.

"Void, Null, look away. Plug your ears. Roro is about to do something he probably will regret later." Error commands.

Nightmare blocks both of the childrens' eyes, and the both of them put their hands over their ears. 

"Wh- Whatcha thinkin of doing, Error bud? I didn't say anything bad! I'm just- just layin' it to you straight! Roro c'mon!"

Error doesn't listen. It's like he doesn't even hear him. He slowly raises his hand, high up to the point of his face.

Blue and Nightmare watch. Dream stares in horror. 

And as Error balls his fist, the strings tighten around the other God, slowly cracking him apart. 

Bit by bit, til the tension is so high that the strings quickly tie up, breaking him into pieces. 

The ink from his body stains the ground, and for that moment, Ink is gone.

Error had just killed Ink.

And for him…

It was the first time ever.

[watchingspnagain]

Rewatching Changing Channels

Welcome to “‘Supernatural is filmed before a live studio audience’: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!

Up today, s5e8: Changing Channels.

Sam comes home to the boys’ bright, sunny apartment to find that Dean has been shirking his research in favor of entertaining a bikini-clad lady. Oh, and there’s a laugh track. What? Rewind. A few days earlier, the boys are investigating the death of a man with anger-management problems who seems to have been killed by the Incredible Hulk. Sam suspects the Trickster, and suggests trying to convince him to help them stop the apocalypse. When they go to an abandoned warehouse thinking they have a lead on where the Trickster will be, they get zapped into a hospital where everyone thinks they are doctors, doctors who seem to be caught up in a great deal of personal drama. The boys are stuck on TV, making their way through a number of shows, including Doctor Sexy, Dean’s “guilty pleasure” medical drama. They catch the Trickster, and he tells them to “play their roles” before disappearing. With the help of Cas, they figure out the Trickster must actually be an angel, trap him in holy fire, and make him explain himself. He’s Gabriel, and he insists Sam and Dean must play their roles in the apocalypse and that the boys mirror the conflict in Heaven, with Dean the faithful son (Michael) and Sam the rebellious one, who chaffed under his father’s rules (Lucifer). Dean rejects all this, but they are both shaken.

Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

 [and we begin:]

Mace:

I LOVE THIS EPISODE

Lor:

ME TOO IT'S SO GOOD

Mace:

YASYASYAS

Mace:

You know what the Latin is for a sword’s sheath, Dean? Because that’s pretty much what you are to Michael, right?

Lor:

LOLOL

Lor:

I love that they drop you in with no idea what's going on

Mace:

YES

Mace:

these silly eps are where we really actually see how amazing these two are as actors, I think

Lor:

YES YES YES I was just thinking that

Mace:

omg the theme song!

Lor:

omg the son of a bitch

Mace:

YES

Lor:

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA YES

Lor:

and the montage behind it

Mace:

how much stupid fun must they have had making this

Lor:

RIGHT?

Mace:

AND THEY’RE IN OHIO

Lor:

YES

Lor:

OMG Dean your face

Mace:

YES

Lor:

YOU WERE NOT CHANNEL SURFING DEAN YOU WERE WATCHING YOUR DOCTOR CRUSH

Mace:

poor Dean. Sammy’s scorn won’t let him admit that

smacks Sammy upside

Lor:

right? don't kick him when he's a confused muffin, Sammy

Mace:

brothers. yeesh.

Lor:

LOL!

Lor:

Banner or Norton? I LOVE HIM

Mace:

BANNER OR NORTON

Mace:

HAHAHAHA

Lor:

LOL

Mace:

Dean, bud, that doesn’t even make sense

Lor:

lololol

Lor:

"you might say you wouldn't like him when he's angry" LOL

Mace:

I was talking to the fly in the kitchen this morning and told him, “Stay right there, bud, until I get the swatter” and then I felt bad calling him “bud” before killing him. I have issues, I think.

Mace:

HAHAHAHA

Lor:

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Lor:

they are both looking particularly lovely this ep

Mace:

they really really are

Lor:

oh Dean. you're gonna ally with so many worser dudes than Gabe, honey

Mace:

right?!

Lor:

mmmm scanners. sounds like childhood

Mace:

…what?

Lor:

my dad. it was one of his hobbies. he listened to them for funsies. to the best of my knowledge, he was not using the info to hunt the supernatural

Mace:

Ah. interesting.

Lor:

OMG Sam's face after she slaps him the second time

Mace:

YES

Lor:

"that's your theory?" well, he's right, Deano

Mace:

HA

Lor:

"I dunno. it is compelling" LOL

Lor:

OMG Dean's reaction to Dr. Sexy versus all the others

Lor:

HON.

Mace:

OMG Dean’s “doctor"

Lor:

YAAAAS

Mace:

YESYESYES

Mace:

he is so crushed out

Lor:

RIGHT?!

Lor:

"yeah, you're not a fan" lol Sammy

Mace:

oooh he slammed him up against the wall...

Lor:

HE REALLY REALLY DID

Lor:

omg I love him

Mace:

YES

Mace:

“my own little idiot box” and who, exactly is the idiot here, Gabe? So. Many. Choices.

Lor:

"you two muttonheads broke the world" LOL

Lor:

HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA

Lor:

omg his eyebrow waggle

Mace:

YAS

Mace:

the soundtrack omg

Lor:

"it's real, it's real"

Mace:

omg DEAN

Mace:

SAM’S FACE

Lor:

OH SO HE CAN GET SHOT IN THE BACK AND FUCKING SAM CAN SAVE HIM BUT A LITTLE REBAR IS THE END?!

Mace:

HAHAHAHAHA

Mace:

HE SAID STAT

Lor:

LOL

Lor:

omg the game show coming for Sam

right?

Mace:

omg their FACES

Lor:

OMG the FACES

Lor:

LOLOLOLOLOL

Mace:

HAHAHAHA

Lor:

CAS!

Mace:

YES

Mace:

PRETTY BOY ANGELS

Lor:

"mister trickster does not like pretty boy angels"

Mace:

i mean, he’s not wrong

Lor:

YES

Lor:

LOL

Mace:

he is very pretty

Lor:

he really is

Lor:

OMG Dean's face when he hits the button

Mace:

YES

Lor:

SOMEONE CAST HIM IN A COMEDY RIGHT NOW

Mace:

RIGHT?! BOTH OF THEM

Lor:

YES

Mace:

HAHAHAHA THE COMMERCIAL

Lor:

YES

Lor:

omg the side effects

Mace:

YES

Mace:

“slightly lessen the spread” HAHAHAHA

Lor:

YES

Mace:

“how is that funny?!”

Lor:

"how was that funny?" LOLOL talking to the laugh track

Lor:

YES

Mace:

YES

Mace:

oooh Cas with his little cuts

Mace:

HOT

Lor:

YESYESYES

Lor:

oooo now Dean is getting pushed up against a wall

Mace:

YAS

Lor:

OMG I FORGOT ABOUT THE CSI ONE

Mace:

ME TOO

Mace:

omg they look SO GOOD

Lor:

RIGHT?

Lor:

WOULD WATCH

Mace:

“no talent douchebags"

Mace:

HAHAHAHA

Lor:

"calm down?! I am wearing SUNGLASSES at night"

Lor:

LOLOLOLOL

Lor:

OMG THE WALK DED

Mace:

YAS

Mace:

I’m gonna need Sammy to keep that bright blue shirt

Mace:

OMG SAMMY

Lor:

YES

Lor:

I'm gonna need Dean to keep those sunglasses

Mace:

YES

Lor:

Dean, baby, the decor is the same. Pay attention

Mace:

right?

Lor:

THE MUSIC

Mace:

YES

Mace:

I LOVED KIT as a kid

Lor:

YES!

Lor:

the leaves shot

Mace:

YES

Mace:

“should I honk?"

Mace:

AHAHAHA

Mace:

“eat me”

Lor:

"should I honk?" HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Lor:

LOLOL

Lor:

"nobody's going anywhere until Sam has opposable thumbs" I LOVE HIM. he could just say "put Sam back" but no, because it's Dean

Mace:

YEP

Lor:

"we pulled it out of Sam's ass"

Mace:

SNORK

Lor:

SAMMY

Mace:

YES

Lor:

"they call me Gabriel"

Lor:

aw, Gabe. I love the little jerk

Mace:

AGREED

Lor:

"you sorry sons a bitches"

Mace:

HAHAHA

Lor:

"you were born to this boys" "as it is in heaven, so it must be on earth" I LOVE IT IT'S SO DUMB BUT I LOVE IT SO MUCH IT MAKES ME ALL BOUNCY

Mace:

It’s really nice and parallelly

Lor:

yep

Mace:

chosen ones and cycles so good

Lor:

YES

Lor:

oooo nice upside down shot in the water

Lor:

"first of all, you can bring Cas back" pets him

Mace:

YES

Mace:

Gabe has really nice eyes

Lor:

RIGHT?

Mace:

Oh Dean. Kettle much?

Lor:

yeeeeah

Lor:

he was hot when he busted the fire alarm though, so

Mace:

HAHAHA

Lor:

"I wish I was back on a tv show"

Mace:

oooof

Lor:

RIGHT?

[armedinkblot]

i dont make fan theories often bc i tend to daydream off into things that cant possibly be real, but i think maybe this new mimic game preview, where they look like puppet, proves a theory i had a while ago

hear me out please

charlie is glamrock freddy

OKAY OKAY SO HEAR ME OUT THOUGH-

SO in security breach we know that something is odd with freddy. logically ive always kinda chalked it up to the fact he probably has the best antivirus bc hes the lead man so thats why he doesnt attack gregory after vanny's tampering bc personally ive never felt good about michael possessing him

(i get why people like that but michael was only kept alive bc of the scoopers remnant, so if you guys want him to be the mc in fnaf6 hes gotta be dead, pick one please i see good fuel for both)

so who is freddy??? well hold onto your socks bc i got something that you mightve already thought about idk BUT someone in the fnaf6 ending was never a remnant being and wasnt shown dying--

we get so many hints at puppet everywhere (the wiring, the dolls, yanno youve prolly seen them pointed out already), but there is no mention of charlie/puppet ANYWHERE by name to gregory

so heres my idea:

we know through sources that remnant is what happens when soul matter touches metal, and that if there is no reaction between a souls agony and some kinda steel, remnant aint happenin. remnany is functionally what made william/springtrap 'immortal' and michael survive ennard. we know thats what henry was aiming to melt down to undo the binding of the souls and the metal in fnaf6.

but puppet was never metal. every time we see puppet, it floats around or wiggles like a plushie. puppet is a fluffy soft toy that clearly does NOT have any bones.

wibbly wobbly

we also see it half-transparent in hallways, like- oh yanno- A GHOST???

i know fnaf has strayed further away from the haunted aspect and more into scifi, but what if puppet was our tie to classic haunts this whole time?

id like to point to this line that glamrock freddy says the first time you visit the fnaf6 sinkhole with him:

THE FIRST HALF OF THE MESSAGE: puppet/charlie definitely HAS been here before as we see in fnaf6, and we know that in between fnaf6 and help wanted old fazbear workers brought circuits torn out of scraptrap from the fnaf6 ruins to silver parasol games for scanning and utilizing, and thats more than likely where glitchtrap came from, but what does freddy mean by this?

im not sure exactly

you could argue that its cassidys vengeful spirit forcing charlie to continue clinging to earth in freddy ("she brought me here" if you consider cassidy to be a lil girl) which i personally would not put forcing their friend's spirit to haunt earth as long as part of afton is active past them, theyre a spiteful lil shit) but this isnt the meat of my theory so ill leave it

now the other half of the message, about glamrock freddys friends being angry and confused, really has the same vibe as these two puppet ucn lines to me

i think if theory this is true, this also could be good news for the moltenmci theory that i also subscribe to

ANYWAY these lines have similar energy to me, what with the whole "i am fine and calm but these guys? YEESH theyre cray" thing.

lemme tie it together real quick:

charlie dies and her ghost decides "hey i should stick around to stop william and maybe help those lost babies" so she possesses puppet!

the fact shes a complete spirit and not just the raw emotion from remnant means shes way way WAY more coherant and clever than the other animatronics

in fnaf6 shes put in lefty, which i think henry did to try and force charlies spirit to become remnant by interacting with the animatronic's metal, but it doesnt work bc charlies already a ghouly ghoul and aint havin that

so when the pizzeria simulator place burns down, sure the puppet and lefty were gone but was charlie's spirit? NO bc it wasnt remnant! fire doesnt touch ghosts silly casette man!!!

thats why, lemme draw your attention to the fact that CHARLIE IS NEVER SHOWN GETTING FREED:

SHES NEVER SHOWN IN THE ENDING BC ITS SYMBOLIC FOR HER STILL BEING AROUND

so what happened after that? well security breach takes place in and above the sinkhole that once was the fnaf6 location. spirits, in many folklores, do not tend to stray too far from their resting place most of the time

so if charlie, now a freed spirit with nowhere to go and nothing personal to possess (sorry about your puppet), finds out that afton is still possessing endoskeletons and having his brainwashed people kill people for funsies bestie? she aint having that

this was the kid that decided instead of just passing on to heaven or whatever, to STAY BEHIND AND HELP THE OTHER KIDS TAKE WILLIAM DOWN. she is described by henry as selfless and always helping others instead of herself

also need i remind you of charlies most famous act of trying to help (but accidently making things worse by prolonging the suffering instead of 'giving life'?)

this bitch would 100% possess the strongest thing she could to try and stop him, the strongest being glamrock freddy.

now after years of being manipulated into being freddy and acting as him/working with his programming, she might not have a clear understanding of who she once was. so, when glamrock freddy says "i found myself for the first time when i cleared the path" what if he means she remembered what she originally came here to do?

what if she left all the calling cards on purpose? what if she left the plushies around as a reminder of who she is so she doesnt forget why shes still tied to earth? so she remembers to stop afton instead of just let the programming take over?

bc if you remember, we're all fairly certain william only runs away to balloon boys voice in fnaf3 bc of the animatronic's programming it wouldnt be too out of place for charlie to struggle with it too, tho in a different way.

as for mimic...

the REAL reason i wanted to bring it up is bc this looks like puppet. this music box plays the puppet song my grandfathers clock, and then mimic pops out.

the most common question i see is why mimic is referencing puppet, and my theory explains that:

if charlie is in the pizzaplex, then mimic probably knows all about her. everything about her. tales from the pizzaplex has an ongoing plotline where mimic is literally stalking and studying the other characters obsessively, so whos to say his connection in the baobab tree didnt get him access to ""memory files"" or whatever its called when agony/remnant is imprinted on circuitry like with scraptrap and glitchtrap.

so yeah, heres my theory on what happened to charlie and whos REALLY possessing glamrock freddy!!!

i wrote this at 6AM after pulling an all nighter sorry if its hectic and poorly written; i actually wanna make a theory video bc i really think i have something substantial here, but idk how well recieved this would be hehe

i will also accept chica being possessed by charlie bc of twisted animatronic's videos on chicas crying and fighting the hacking

thanks for reading!!! pls be nice im scared lol

[ghostenluvs]

secrets in stone:

chapter 2: confrontation

previous | next

tw: arguing, non-gory violence, discussions of harm/assassination of children [which will make a lot more sense if you read chapter one], many a use of italics and bold because i like them.

[please be kind about this chapter! it's not perfectly in character ik but i wanna get to the rest of the fic as soon as i can.]

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Sun wukong is making dinner.

Now he’s no culinary expert, but he’s pretty sure he’s mastered this delicacy.

It’s not on fire this time!

Nevertheless, drugstore ramen is always fiddly. Leave it in for too long and it straight up melts, heat it too much and it straight up melts, accidentally break the lid on the hot sauce once and it straight up melts (you), it’s been frustrating.

But it isn’t on fire this time! So that’s good.

He inputs three minutes to the oven timer and presses start. He turns around and there’s the kid, just chilling, coloring in some paper and also probably the table. They’re very focused, not even looking up when he sits down to look at their drawing.

“What’cha doin’ bud?” 

The kid holds up their paper, showcasing a masterful (for a toddler) crayon rendition of them and himself holding hands on top of a tree. It’s downright adorable. He might cry. Or explode. Or both. Yeah, both is good.

He opens his mouth to deliver the highest of praise to this display of artistic prowess when-

BOOM!

An explosion  rings out, followed by the sound of aggressive footsteps on stone and a shout that fully and totally embodies the word ‘pissed.’ 

“WUKONG!”

Oh no.

The kid yelps, trying to cover their ears and latching onto his chest. He stands up, holding them close and speeding into the kid’s room. He sets them down in the corner behind their bed quickly. He needs to make sure they stay there. He knows that voice. 

He knows that voice. 

Macaque.

He hasn’t heard him in a while but he could distinguish his old friend’s (that’s definitely a stretch right now) voice anywhere.

“What’s happening?!” the kid grasps his sleeve with a surprising grip.

“Okay kid it’s gonna be fine, everything is fine. But I need you to stay here for a minute okay? You can’t move ‘till I come and get you. It’s very impo-”

“WUKONG! COME OUT HERE! I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!” the angry shout cuts him off.

“Ok kid i just need to deal with this real quick just stayrightthere-'' he tosses a blanket over them and speeds back out of the room, and the house. Stopping at the bottom of the stairs, he comes face to very understandably pissed off face with the warrior. 

Macaque is standing in the middle of the cave, holding his shadow staff, ready for a fight.

–

He dodges a large rock as it makes contact with the ground beneath him, he jumps to the left, Three more following the first. He can’t fight in here. This is bad. The kid could get hurt in way too many ways if this goes on.

He needs to move this someplace else.

He dashes for the passage leading out of the cave. Only to find himself falling headfirst through darkness and landing on his stairs. Shadow portals, yayy.

“So you’re just going to run away again?! TYPICAL. Always running away from the problems YOU CAUSED.” he shouts, holding his staff high and bringing it down at the stairs. He rolls out of the way, the stairs now splintered from the impact. He winces.

Yeesh.

The staff is swung at him again and he puts his arms up to block it. The swings keep coming, the force of the barrage sending gusts of wind through his fur. Macaque is seething, which he notes, is fair. Given well, everything.

“This is just how you do things, huh? You run yourself into trouble, and then you throw everyone else into the fire for you!”

“That’s not-” he sidesteps a vertical strike. He liked that flower bed.

“Oh don’t you DARE say it isn’t, oh Great Sage! It wasn’t even just me! The brotherhood, DBK, and that CHILD that heaven wanted gone! A CHILD, WUKONG!”

He startles at that, macaque taking advantage to send a kick to his ribs, launching him back into the cave wall.

“Wha- how did you-?” the air having been knocked from his lungs, leaving him momentarily stunned.

Macaque let out a bitter chuckle, finding some amusement in his floundering.

“You seriously thought that your continual kissing up to heaven would go unnoticed? No, people talk. You can only get away with so much before your oh so precious reputation gets painted with some of that blood on your hands.” he practically growled the last words.

A spike of cold ran down his spine. He hadn’t left the mountain long enough to talk to anyone. Is that how people viewed him now?

“I didn’t-”

“Gege!” he’s cut off again, this time by the kid. Who had made their way partially down the stairs and looked absolutely mortified.

He’s in front of them in less than a second, checking for injuries of any kind with his gold vision and trying to block Macaque’s view of them as much as possible. 

This is bad. This is really, really bad.

A beat. 

“What… is that?” the warrior sounded sort of stunned.

He holds the kid closer to himself, slowly turning his head to face Macaque.

“...”

“A regular normal monkey with nothing notable about them?” His acting needs work, sue him.

Now it was macaque’s turn to be sent floundering.

“What? You- how did you even- WHERE DID YOU GET A BABY?!”

“I… found it.” 

The shock of seeing the warrior sent his cover story abilities off kilter, to put it lightly.

The kid wriggles his head out of the king’s arms to stare at the warrior.

“Who’s that? Why’s he mad at you?” they ask, wriggling their arm out as well to point at Macaque.

“Uh.”

Yeah, he’s got nothing.

Meanwhile, Macaque has been silently looking back and forth between the two, and connecting some very important dots.

“Wukong.”

“Uh… what?” He's failing to keep a straight face and he knows it.

“Wukong.” oh no, that’s the ages old ‘you’ve done something supremely idiotic and i’m at my wits’ end with you’ voice. He did not miss it.

“What?”

Macaque puts his hands together in front of his face, mouth in a flat line.

“Is that the child? I swear if that is the child you were supposed to-”

“MAKE SURE GETS TO BED BY 7:30? Absolutely. Now look at the time it is 7:31 kid you should be in bed why are you out here?” He sets them back in front of him.

“Oh! The dinner noodles are on fire again!” they state with way too much whimsy, pointing at the house.

“Ah crud not again-” he grabs the kid and speeds back into the kitchen, momentarily distracted from the warrior’s presence in his quest to shut off the heat and fan out the fire hazard/actual plume of flames.

The fire goes out and he lets out a ‘phew’ that ‘burned down house’ isn’t getting added to his list of things he did today, among ‘witnessed true art’ and ‘ got kicked into a wall by his old friend/enemy??? He did NOT expect to see this millenia’.

He is then reminded of said frenemy. Darn.

“First of all, the sun is directly above us right now, I don't know what clock you’re running on. Second, wow, this place is a mess, how do you live like this?” he asks from the doorway, always the pinnacle of sarcasm. He gestures to the pile of paper towel cardboard thingies in the corner the kid’s been collecting to ‘build a castle with’.

He glares, “oh and you’re so much more organized? I’d like to see you deal with this situation.”

“Taking into account the three separate piles of dishes, markers and dolls right next to, but not in the box labeled ‘dolls’, I'd say I am more organized than you.”

“Okay, kid, you are going to wait in your room for dinner. Thank you for the fire alarm, I have to deal with this.” he sets them down and points to their room, trying to sound as stern as he can without sounding mad.

“But-”

“Sorry kid, no buts. Room. now.”

“Aww.” they relent and traipse back into their room. An audible ‘pomf’ sounds as they face plant into bed.

He turns back to macaque, making a shooing motion. “Outside.”

A shadow portal opens below them, macaque landing silently while he is dropped from the cave ceiling onto his face. Well, if he didn’t have his cloud to faceplant on, that is.

Macaque regards him with a flat, yet still very angry expression.

“Well this certainly throws a wrench in my murdering you.”

He opens his mouth to retort, but is cut off.

“I’m still gonna do it, but there is a wrench nonetheless.”

He hops off his cloud, scratching his neck awkwardly.

“Yeaahhh…. Kind of expected that. – he sighs – listen, I can't be fighting with the kid here.”

“Why is the kid here? Seriously, it was dumb to do what you did but it’s even stupider to keep them!”

“Yeah, what would you want me to do there?! I thought you were mad when you thought I actually did it. You’d rather I just drop him somewhere?!”

“Maybe! This is literally the second most conspicuous thing you could’ve done with them, barring just taking a pop in to tour the jade palace with the kid in full monkey form! There is no way he doesn’t get caught.”

“Well I disagree! You can’t drop a kid like him out on his own somewhere, they’d just die. – he lowers his voice, – I am not going through the trouble of not killing them just to abandon them somewhere.”

“Well what am i s’posed to do huh? I’m not going to back down just because you’ve attained fatherhood or something while I was gone!”

“Hey! Not fatherhood, you heard the kid before, and I'm not backing down either! But if we fight right now that kid is either going to get horribly traumatized, or get even worse trauma and get basically orphaned, if you could even manage to beat me. And I am not too keen on scarring that kid for life!”

“Well then we’ve got a problem here.”

“Pff, like we didn’t before.”

There is a moment of stubborn silence, the both of them holding a tense stare-off.

How in the world does he end this situation without anyone getting killed… he can’t feasibly deter macaque from this fight forever. 

An incredibly far fetched idea dawns on him.

Maybe he doesn’t have to.

He breaks eye contact, looking to the side. “Can we do this like… tomorrow?”

“Wha- TOMORROW?! Seriously? You’re- no. you’re not getting out of this that easily.”

Far-fetched indeed.

“It was worth a try!” he states, resisting the urge to do finger guns because if he did that macaque would actually just kill him.

Macaque’s face is scrunched up in a combination of intense annoyance, befuddlement, and sheer incredulity.

“I swear to every deity… why are you LIKE this?! Did you seriously think that would work?”

“Well I dunno! - he huffs in exasperation - i’m gonna be honest here, i kinda just need you to leave right now. And i KNOW ‘oh wukong just wants to get out of this super annoying situation yadda yadda’ is the only thing you’re hearing here but i cannot be engaging in a probably-definitely super destructive battle for the ages with a whole TODDLER up there in my house!”

“Do you really-” macaque interjects.

“no. no! We are LITERALLY immortal! WE HAVE ACTUAL AGES TO DO THIS! YOU CAN'T WAIT TO MURDER ME FOR FIVE MINUTES?”

“Well, they’ll still be a toddler in five minutes!” he sarcasms sarcastically.

“Then wait a while longer! I don’t care, I am so tired! You think keeping this kid from setting the mountain ablaze is easy?! He’s practically a human rocket launcher! You wanna kill me really bad, I know. I guarantee you there’s about ninety people who took a number first, get in line!”

Macaque scoffs, “woowww, so you’re tired! You don’t wanna deal with me right now! Ohoho, HOW SURPRISING. Am I too much for you, Great Sage? Are my grievances too much to handle? Get a grip!”

“You know that is not what I MEANT. LOOK, YOU CAN MURDER ME ALL YOU WANT LATER. I COULDN’T CARE LESS IF YOU SHOWED UP TO FIGHT TO THE DEATH OR WHATEVER HORRIBLE VENGEANCE PLAN YOU HAVE FOR ME IF I DIDN’T HAVE THE KID TO DEAL WITH! BUT I DO, SO I AM NOT GOING TO LET YOU DROP HIM DIRECTLY INTO THE CROSSFIRE HERE!”

He takes a breath, lowering his voice.

“I am not going to let this kid be put in danger. So if you try to do that by fighting me, I will make sure you regret it dearly.”

Macaque is silent for a while. In that time the air feels static and his muscles are tense, well prepared to make good on his threat.

The warrior takes a deep breath in and looks away, seeming to bore a hole into the ground with the heat of his glare. The king can’t tell whether he’s actually mulling it over or deciding the most painful thing to punch first.

—

Macaque is conflicted.

He thought he wouldn’t be made so this easily, but here he is.

On one hand, Wukong is standing right in front of him. It would be so easy to just throw him through the mountain walls and forget about that kid. He really, really, wants to just punch wukong directly in the chest and send him flying. Finally get his payback. His arm practically itches to be swung.

On the other hand however, there is a child. A toddler, a stone monkey that he’d thought was dead. Murdered viciously under the command of heaven. There is a kid who has no idea why he’s here. No context or knowledge or life experience, no clue of everything the great sage, equal to heaven had done, had put him through.

And the great sage himself was trying to get him to leave, fight another day. Under the guise of protecting this kid. He wants to call it a bluff and ignore the way the king’s voice had shifted into the tone he’d always reserved only for the things he was most serious about. The things declared in that tone had always been followed through to the end. Always, but once.

So he’s conflicted.

If he waited, he would have more time to prepare, more time to amass the power he needed. He’d come here the first chance he got since his return to the mortal realm. His powers were just at the level where he knew he could battle the king. Maybe it would be smarter to gather more resources.

But to what end? How long would he be expected to wait to get his revenge? He’ll have to ask. This is going to be a negotiation, he’s not just going to take it with nothing in return.

—

“How long?”

“What?”

“How long would you expect me to put off my plans so this kid doesn’t get orphaned or traumatized and all that? I would expect a time frame.”

“You’re actually taking it?” the king asked, incredulous.

“I’m thinking about taking it. I need to know what the deal is before I agree not to murder you here and now. How long?” He punctuates the question with a glare.

“Uh. just, you know… until they won’t die on their own? Until they can take care of themself?”

“And how long will that be?”

“How should I know? None of us have been born babies before! Probably a couple years? Like a decade?”

“A decade.” he raises an eyebrow.

“Probably a little longer than that, but probably no longer than 20 years. Humans stop growing around then.”

Macaque takes a moment to think, seemingly calculating something. His tail lashes behind him, clearly annoyed.

He seems to decide, setting his shoulders.

“Fine.” he grits out. “But only 20 years. After that you’re not protected by anything. And you’re not allowed to mess with me, either. Got it?”

The idea is actually proving less far fetched than he thought. Or maybe it’s just one of those super unlikely streaks of luck he gets sometimes.

“Deal.”

Macaque nods sharply.

“I will be making sure you’re not trying to cheat me. If you do, you’re dead.”

“Wouldn’t expect anything less.” he states sarcastically.

Macaque sends him a final glare, before disappearing into his shadow, making crystal clear that this incredibly unpleasant conversation was now over.

Finally.

An oven timer sounds, loud and shrill.

“DANG IT.” 

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