#bored of the rings

[probablynot-john]

Frodo*whispering to Sam*: um, this is awkward but I need your help. I don't remember the elf's name.

Sam: which elf?

Frodo: there's only one elf in our fellowship and I can't remember his name

Sam: I don't think he know our names either. He called me Spam once.

Frodo: Okay I nolonger care what his name is.

Legolas read Bored of the Rings

[smbhax]

Illustration by Michael K. Frith

[shadow-manor]

I know that I'm older than most of the Tumblr cohort, but I'm just curious how many others were permanently altered by Bored of the Rings. Occasionally I think, "'Menthol, Menthol, you are one wazoo. One day I'm the elf next door and then poof I'm a river. You stink.' And the wind answers, 'Phooey.'"

[anotheruserwithnoname]

Book series that would make good movies/TV shows if done properly

With all this talk about Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones and now Harry Potter being remade for TV, there are a number of popular book series that I am surprised no one has (by now) done a proper film or TV series about. Here are a few that I think are overdue for adaptation on screen. Spoiler break here as this will be a bit long:

(n.b. all cover scans are from my collection)

1. Honor Harrington

This post was inspired by the fact David Weber’s military SF series Honor Harrington - which traces the career and exploits of the titular character - turns 30 this year. There is some immense world-building by Weber here, more than enough to sustain a TV series and spin-offs. And Honor had the “tough hero with cute cat” look down pat while Brie Larson was still in her crib. I feel old because I read On Basilisk Station when it first came out!

2. Killashandra Ree

I’m surprised there haven’t been movies adapting Anne McCaffrey’s novels. The Killashandra Ree trilogy - about a young woman who uses her singing voice to mine a precious commodity called crystal. This would be a perfect role for a singer-actress.

3. Illuminatus!

Shea and Wilson’s Illuminatus! trilogy has been called the ultimate fairy tale for paranoids. Most of not all references to “the Illuminati” which appears in films from time to time take some notes from the Illuminatus! Trilogy. It would have to be NC-17 if done for movies, so this is more likely a Netflix-friendly concept. And once the trilogy is done, Wilson went on to write a number of novels called The Historical Illuminatus Chronicles, another semi-related trilogy, Schrodinger’s Cat, and also Masks of the Illuminati. 

4. Vatta’s War

If they don’t want to do Honor Harrington, there are other female-led military sci-fi series available, such as Elizabeth Moon’s Vatta’s War series focusing on space academy dropout Ky Vatta’s attempts to redeem herself as she commands a trading vessel caught in the middle of a war.

5. Modesty Blaise

It’s true, there have been 3 attempts at adapting Peter O’Donnell’s comic strip for the movies: indeed, his very first full-length novel adapted his original script for the 1966 movie version that threw everything out the window in favour of goofy comedy. A 1980s TV pilot was Americanized. A 2004 prequel movie called My Name is Modesty failed because it was a prequel. But if properly cast (Gal Gadot), and properly written, a Modesty Blaise movie would make everyone forget the entire notion of casting a woman as James Bond - they don’t need to do so with retired crime lord-turned-unofficial MI6 spy Modesty Blaise around.

6. Old Man’s War

I was going to include John Scalzi’s amazing Old Man’s War series next, but apparently they are doing a TV series of that one.

7. Harvard Lampoon’s Bored of the Rings

OK, maybe not - but it would be funny to see someone release this as counter-programming to Rings of Power!

[ceevee5]

They fight the Ballhog in Moria. “The rumblings grew louder. Dribble. Dribble. Fake. Dribble. Fake. Shoot.”

[blacjaq1]

[autumnrory]

Observing this near impossible escape from certain death, Frito wondered how much longer the authors were going to get away with such tripe.

Bored of the Rings by The Harvard Lampoon

[hobbitweed]

[ariel-seagull-wings]

@amalthea9 @thealmightyemprex @themousefromfantasyland

Okay, okay. Always leave them wanting Mordor.

[continuous emphatic booing]

[haladrielgifs]

Morfydd Clark as Galadriel & Charlie Vickers as Sauron

[subaerial-dweller]

i like that in the fellowship of the ring, Aragorn (i think it's Aragorn) calls Frodo "son of Drogo", because it means there have been personal off-screen (off-page?) conversations.

like frodo gets talking one night about how he came to live with Bilbo, and the fellowship tell him it's all terribly sad about his parents drowning and all that, and he goes "thank you it was a while ago now but i appreciate it", and then Sam goes on about his gaffer who he loves more than almost anyone, and Aragorn kind of gets to explain his bloodline situation to a bunch of hobbits who don't fully understand what "the blood of Numenor" is but they're trying to be very supportive anyway.

they're all friends, is what i mean. and while they were nearly freezing to death and getting shot at and getting balrogged and dying and all that, they took the time to get to know each other because that's nice.

[mycaptainjones]

their hobby is picking fights 24/7 lmaooo

[big-edies-sun-hat]

“‘Shut up,’ he explained”

I know everyone says it’s best to just stick to “said” as a dialogue tag bc it disappears and that’s true and I mostly do but I want to take a moment for my all-time favorite dialogue tag, “lied.” Absolutely nothing hits like “‘I’m here to help,’ he lied.” NOTHING.

[fellomen]

people finding it difficult to read mohg's facial expressions because of his fangs, and him learning to exaggerate them so they register better as a result

but also. mohg using a human guise and still doing this unconsciously. you're listening to one of ansbach's nostalgic stories and turn to mohg who's just

[thenotoriousscuttlecliff]

Can't believe this writer is trying to argue the problem with the show is that it isn't treating the main villain like a one-note, simplistic character and this is somehow too confusing because viewers won't know he's the villain despite all the villainous things he does like murder, manipulation, gaslighting, and orchestrating the complete destruction of an entire Elven realm. How media illiterate do you have to be to think exploring a villain's motivation in some way constitutes trying to trick the audience into think he isn't really a villain?

[tsuyonpuu]

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