#book xvii

[rightous-int]

AND THATS THE END OF MY TODAYS MEMES! YOU CAN SEE HOW WITH TIME I STARTED SLOWLY LOOSING MY MIND

[biherbalwitch]

I think demerzel should get to slice everyone in half

[fashionbooksmilano]

Itinerario nel ritratto

Dipinti tra il XVIII e XX secolo

a cura di Fernando Mazzocca

Officina d’arte grafica Lucini, Milano 1987, 42 pagine, 17x24cm,

euro 20,00

email if you want to buy booksinprogressmilano@yahoo.it

catalogo della mostra (Milano, Galleria Roberta Etro, 7 maggio-30 giugno 1987),

24/01/24

[girlpetrarca]

apparently my destiny is to work on manuscripts where there's fuck all clues on their provenance

[itheredhood]

[melodysbookhaven]

"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way."

Pablo Neruda, "Sonnet XVII"

[richo1915]

Polybius on Superstition

Among the people of Bargylia it is a common report widely believed that the statue of the Kindyan Artemis, though in the open air, is never touched by snow or rain; and the same belief is held among the Iassians as to the Artemis Astias. All these stories have been repeated by certain historians. But, for my part, I have in the whole course of my work set myself against such statements of our historiographers and have had no toleration for them. For it appears to me that such tales are only fit to amuse children, when they transgress not only the limits of probability but even those of possibility. For instance, to say that certain bodies when placed in full light cast no shadow argues a state of quite deplorable folly. But Theopompus has done this; for he says that those who enter the holy precinct of Zeus in Arcadia cast no shadow, which is on a par with the statements to which I have just referred. Now, in so far as such tales tend to preserve the reverence of the vulgar for religion, a certain allowance may be made for some historians when they record these miraculous legends. But they must not be allowed to go too far. Perhaps it is difficult to assign a limit in such a matter; still it is not impossible. Therefore, in my judgment, such displays of ignorance and delusion should be pardoned if they do not go very far, but anything like extravagance in them should be rejected.

[subsystems]

There's been a lot of harmful invalidation and misinformation floating around trauma spaces lately about the cause of complex dissociative disorders like DID. Please, let's put to rest the trauma olympics and claiming that certain childhood traumas are more "valid" than others. The childhood trauma that causes someone's DID does not need to be sexual or physical abuse, or even abuse at all.

From Understanding and Treating Dissociative Identity Disorder: A Relational Approach, by Elizabeth Howell (pages xvii - xviii):

"DID is usually the outcome of chronic and severe childhood trauma, which can include physical and sexual abuse, extreme and recurrent terror, repeated medical trauma, and extreme neglect. Pathological dissociation generally results from being psychically overwhelmed by trauma. . . . However, the traumatic experiences that may result in dissociative disorders do not always stem from sexual, physical, or emotional abuse. Disorganized attachment which often underlies the dissociative structure of dissociative disorders . . . may result from overwhelming experiences in the infant's interpersonal environment that are not caused by parental maltreatment. Parental illness, depression, or problematic attachment styles may be psychically overwhelming and lead to disorganized attachment. In addition, medical trauma may be dissociogenic. For example, some dissociative patients have reported histories of chronic medical problems and hospitalizations that involved severe pain and unavoidable separations from well-meaning parents. Medical trauma may involve both the chronic and severe pain of certain diseases and conditions as well as painful procedures intended to remediate these medical conditions. Some dissociative adult patients have reported the trauma of being left alone to suffer their pain as children in the hospital. Such children may be additionally confused by the fact that their parents are either hurting them, as part of necessary medical interventions or allowing others to hurt them . . ."

You can find a free download of this book and others [here]. I highly recommend reading it, it's one of my favorite books on DID. If you're able to, please consider purchasing a copy of it to support the author too!

Anyways, if you're reading this and you've been harmed by the recent influx of trauma invalidation, please know that I'm here for you. I believe you. Your trauma is REAL and it was ENOUGH to cause your disorder. You were a child and no child deserves to go through trauma. No one.

[lynnkaz]

VnC timeline

I’m mostly an artist in this fandom, but sometimes inspiration strikes and leads me in completely weird directions, such as… figuring out dates of every event in VnC!

With the invaluable help of @retracexcviii, who has created timelines for VnC events before (thank you forever and ever💜) and helped me to avoid some really silly mistakes, I’ve done… this monstrosity of a text, which includes every important canon event I could think of.

— All events are distributed by centuries, starting with XVI and finishing with XIX, and after listing all the events of each century I will put screens of the same texts with correlating manga pages. Additionally, there are numbers of chapters for most of the events.

— Some dates are marked with ~, which means that this date could fluctuate a bit (could be a bit earlier or later). 

— Events that I couldn’t put anywhere specifically are in “UNKNOWN MOMENT” category. I still tried to differentiate them between centuries.

Alright, here we go! 

XVI CENTURY

1493-1500 — creation of an engraving; plague, cataclysms, Paracelsius is looking for a way to save humanity.

(7)

~ 1500 — Babel. The awakening of Faustina, who is considered to be the first vampire.

(19)

1500-1550 — the awakening of Teacher and Machina as vampires. Machina might be younger than Teacher. Creation (awakening?) of Luna? The awakening of Teacher and the creation of Luna — probably around the same time?

(19)

~ 1550-1560 — Chloe is born. She becomes a vampire at the age of 4.

(31)

Between 1550-1600 — Ruthven becomes a vampire. He is currently more that 200 years old, and it’s unknown whether he was born as a vampire or awaken or even when exactly his life began. But looks like an adult in 1650, so he was most likely alive in 1600. He is also younger than Chloe: when she calls him a “child”, he doesn’t correct her.

(31)

Presumable order of awakening of the oldest vampires: 

Faustina —> Teacher —> Machina —> Chloe —> Ruthven. 

When exactly was Luna born? Does Kresnik exist in this century?

XVII CENTURY

~ 1650 — the war between humans and vampires. Chloe meets Ruthven.

(31)

~ 1665-1669 — Jeanne awakens in a flask in front of an unknown person. She leaves the flask. Later, she is adopted by Eric and Louise, Ruthven's students.

(39)

~ 1669 — Chloe meets Jeanne. Ruthven tries to establish peace between humans and vampires.

(31, 32)

~ 1672 — (3 years after Chloe and Jeanne met, 30 years before the end of the war) Ruthven loses his students, his eye is injured; Jeanne becomes the Bourreau of the Senate; Chloe meets Machina; Machina tells about the fate of Ruthven and Jeanne. Almost immediately, Naenia appears for the first time (indicating that Faustina is already a cursebearer); Ruthven visits Chloe for the last time, they part as enemies. If Naenia exists, does Charlatan exist as well?

(32, 33)

UNKNOWN MOMENT BEFORE 1672 — Faustina becomes a cursebearer.

(33)

UNKNOWN MOMENT BEFORE 1672 — Luna creates the Books of Vanitas, which are considered to be the reason for the appearance of the Malnomen. Could the books be created to cure the cursebearers in the first place? Most likely, this happened early in the timeline, since there is a whole folklore about it. Even earlier, someone gave Luna the name " Vanitas", which is also reflected in the title of the books.

(48, 49)

XVIII CENTURY

Before 1702 — Ruthven joins the Oriflamme family, becomes one of the Queen's advisors and a senator. The Queen is still alive, but she is also active as Naenia. Luna sees Jeanne in battle.

(33)

1702 — the end of the war. According to the pact, vampires move to Altus and sell Astermite to humans in exchange for other goods.

(33, 59)

1764 — Chloe spends more than 50 years alone. Death of village girl Jeanne, who speculated to be killed by a Beast, but was a victim of radical anti-vampire group. On the same day, she is visited by Naenia and then meets Jean-Jacques. The Beast conspiracy continues.

(36, 33)

1767 — Chloe witnesses one of the murders and reveals her vampiric powers when she defends herself. After that, the general belief is that Chloe is the master of the mysterious nonexistent Beast and both are the culprits. Her human family is killed. A few days later the Chasseurs (Vampire eradication fraction?) and Ruthven come to Gévaudan. Jean-Jacques becomes a Cursebearer to protect Chloe. Jeanne, now the Hellfire Witch, finds Chloe. Chloe tries to jump off a cliff, but Naenia comes to her again. Chloe also becomes the Cursebearer. Jeanne kills other hunters, but Ruthven saves her, makes her give him an oath (she tries to resist) and puts her in deep sleep. The Beast stops attacks. Conspiracy between Ruthven and the Chasseurs presumably continues.

(35, 36, 37, 43, 39)

UNKNOWN MOMENT BETWEEN 1672-1702 — Luna witnesses Jeanne in a fight with vampires. Later, after 1767, Luna also knew about Jeanne’s sleep.

(4)

XIX CENTURY

1861 — Olivier is born. 

1862 — Roland is born.

1868 — Dominique and Louis are born. Teacher takes Louis.

(46)

1869 — Noé is born.

1870 — Vanitas is born; Dante is born.

1873 — Astolfo is born.

~ 1875 — Olivier meets Roland.

(58)

~ 1874-1875 — an elderly couple finds Noé. They live together for some time.

(9)

~ 1876 — Mikhail is born. Luca is probably born around the same time or a bit later.

~ 1876-1877 — Noé is kidnapped and ends up in a black market, gets an eye injury and is bought by Teacher. Noé meets Domi and Louis (their proportions are quite similar to Astolfo in his childhood flashbacks, where he is presumed to be around 8 years old, but Noé looks younger, so here I’m assuming Noé and the twins could be 6-7 or 7-8 years old). // Probably around the same time, Dante is abandoned by unknown woman. He meets Johann and Riche. Absence of his glasses and bandages indicate that there could be at least a few weeks or months between the two events. 

(9, 61, 62)

~ before 1881 — Vanitas is orphaned and placed under the care of the Church as a potential future Chasseur, but is kidnapped by Moreau for secret experiments.

(49)

1881 — sketch of the Tower of the Sun by Amédée Sébillot, electrical engineer. He worked with engineer Jules Bourdais on this project, but in fact the tower was unrealizable. If the monument designed by Sébillot was real, it would have collapsed under its own weight.

Before or early 1881 — Roland and Olivier move to Paris. Roland is injured, but it’s unknown how it happened. Olivier’s hairstyle may indicate that it happened earlier than the time when Roland almost died. 

(46.5)

~ 1881 — Roland (vice-captain) is injured while defending Olivier. Olivier was injured too. // Misha (who looks about 5 years old??) meets Roland, but later ends up in Moreau's laboratory, where Vanitas is already located.

(47)

~ 1881-1882 — Astolfo secretly meets a vampire. When Astolfo befriends Olivier, he tells him about this secret. The death of the Granatum family. Astolfo meets Carl, Roland (his injuries, which were still visible when he met Misha, have already healed) and other Paladins. Olivier definitely had a title of Obsidian by the time of Granatums’ murder, so some time passes between the day Astolfo met a vampire and the day of Granatums’ murder. 

(48, 58) 

~ 1882-1883 1881-1882* — Louis dies. Domi learns the truth about her and Louis being twins. // Luna saves Misha and Vanitas when they destroy Moreau's lab*. Moreau joins the Charlatan. Misha agrees to be bitten by Luna. Later, Luna loses their true name; Misha loses their arm; Luna dies by Vanitas’s hands. Vanitas and Misha inherit the Books, but are separated, and Teacher takes Misha.

*@torterrachampion mentioned in reblog that Noé is officially 12 years old when Louis’s died ang provided an image from a booklet for the Blu-ray of the anime. I completely missed that fact, so thank you for bringing it up! I’ve decided to change the time range for this event to 1881-1882 for better accuracy.

*It is likely that Noé witnessed Louis’s death around the same time Vanitas and Misha were saved by Luna; bonus card features Noé in the same outfit as on the day of Louis’s death together with Vanitas dressed in his lab clothes. 1881 or 1882 is a possible year for Louis’s death and salvation of Vanitas and Misha. In this scenario Luna dies later than Louis.

(9, 46, 51, * bonus card)

1887 — possible start of construction of the Tower of the Sun (in reality, the construction of the Eiffel Tower started on 28 January 1887).

~ 1887-1888 — Astolfo and Roland have a conflict.

(59)

UNKNOWN MOMENT (after 1702?) BEFORE 1888 — Veronica and Loki, along with Machina, become Beastias, and Antoine enters the Senate. How old are Veronica, Antione and Loki?

UNKNOWN MOMENT (not earlier than 12 years?*) BEFORE 1888 — “death” of Faustina at the hands of her Beasts and Rusven. Luka replaces her on the throne, but the Senate controls him. Strangely, he isn’t even officially presented yet. It’s unknown how old he was when he assumed his current position, but it’s unlikely that the Senate and Beastias would “kill” the Queen without choosing a suitable successor first.

*Alternatively, it could happen earlier, if Loki, Luca’s older brother, was supposed to inherit the throne prior to becoming a cursebearer as well, but was replaced with Luca. But this is a pure speculation.

(38, 13)

UNKNOWN MOMENT BEFORE 1874 — Archivists disappear. It’s unknown whether there are any living Archivists other than Machina and Noé in the present. It’s also unknown why Noe thinks about blood when he thinks about his clan.

(57)

UNKNOWN MOMENT BETWEEN 1871-1888 — Vanitas meets Teacher, or Saint—Germain, who at that time had a different appearance. Were Luna alive at that moment?

(55)

UNKNOWN MOMENT BEFORE 1888 — Machina becomes patron of the dhampires and creates her network of information brokers.

(62)

~ 1888 (before current events) — Astolfo and Roland become Paladins. // 6 month before — Teacher goes somewhere. // 1 month before — Jeanne awakens from her sleep.

(13, 4)

1888 — Teacher asks Noé to witness the story of the Book of Vanitas via correspondence. Current events begin.

(1, 52)

Possible future event — The Exposition Universelle of 1889, which was held in Paris, 5 May to 31 October. The Tower of Sun (instead of Eiffel Tower in VnC universe) was created for this fair. However, at least some of the buildings were ruined.

(44, 20.5, 46, 55)

That’s it for now! I think I will update this post in future when we have enough new information to define unclear dates and add new details and whatnot~

[vitaminseetarot]

Poll PAC: What Your Next Birthday Celebration Will Be Like 🎂🎉🎁

Sup y'all, welcome back to another PAC reading. This time I'm doing a special 1 year/birthday/poll topic of choice themed pick a card! This is also a special one as VitaminSee now has 300 followers! Holy crap thank you for your support everyone! I haven't been able to get on Tumblr for a while, so I apologize if it seems like I've dropped from the aether. Life is starting to enter its hectic phase right now! Thank you so much for your patience. I'm waiting for life things to straighten out (lol as if life ever does) before I go ahead and offer some basic paid readings, which I hope to do in May.

This topic is for the next birthday you have coming up, whether that's tomorrow or next year. For my selection, I was recently lucky to have found the Wild Wisdom Companion book among a vast pile of discounted books. It's based on the Wheel of the Year. I thought this deck was perfect for making piles themed around the progression of the year and how our birthdays respond to the passage of the seasons. Pick whichever one of the Spring themed card you like most down below:

Pile 1 - The Unfurling 🌱 Pile 2 - The Wind 🕊 Pile 3 - The Door 🗝 Pile 4 - The Alchemist 🍾

Pile 1 - The Unfurling

Sagittarius - Expand, Level Up, Shadow, Isolation; XVII Star, 3 of Cups, XXI World, Ace of Wands, 5 of Cups

Hello, pile 1! Your birthday is going to be the start of great expansion. Your first three oracle cards spell it out so clearly! Sagittarius is all about shooting for seemingly farfetched goals and striking the target anyway. There is so much growth going on in your pile. You're probably anticipating your next chapter to be one of reaching beyond the horizon and feeling ready to do so. Ideas or wishes that seemed impossible may be coming closer to being within your grasp. Your life is ready to take it up a notch immediately after your next birthday, where things may begin to feel like they're accelerating. Don't worry about the turbulence, it's all a part of the movement. Breaking out of your comfort zone may feel scary, but something about your next birthday will set off a chain of events that will propel you to a new phase of life.

I have a feeling that many who choose this pile will be in a transitory stage of life, like you're getting ready to start college or a new job around your birthday. It's not just another year older, this next one will be extra meaningful in terms of receiving something you've been longing for in quite some time. It's something you've been greatly eager to begin. I don't any sense that you'll be looking back too much once you go forward, since you'll be thrust rather quickly in your next chapter.

But it's still okay if you're experiencing anxiety over it, even if it's something you've really wanted. Anxiety, doubt, and fear are not necessarily indicators that something isn't right for you. It's normal to get cold feet in this context. A sprout breaking from its seed shell is no small feat; it requires a great amount of momentum and motivation. Congratulate yourself for having come this far. Let your birthday be a chance to celebrate this. Give yourself the opportunity to commemorate with friends, if they wanna help give you a birthday to remember then let them. They may feel the vibe as much as you will on that day. Don't be afraid to take that day trip out to a new place you've never seen.

What's interesting about the Isolation card is that it shows two cups. There is meanwhile a Friendship card in this deck with only one cup. So I don't know if the words were swapped with the images or what, but the sense I get is that you will very likely be in good company during your birthday. They may want to take you out dancing (the Ace of Wands is reminding me of disco lights). However, even in the midst of the event, you may feel the urge to hide away from the crowd. I'm picturing someone stepping out of a house during a party. You may need to catch your breath at times in order to process the emotions you're experiencing, as you have a lot of energetic, lit up cards just before the five of cups.

Again, getting in dark negative moods is normal when you're facing a big new stage is not indicative that things will go wrong if it's something you know you're looking forward to. If you end up spending most of the day with friends, find some space to be at peace by yourself so you can even out your feelings. These intense moods will come and go on their own, so make sure to stay balanced (and not too overly caffeinated lol) on your birthday.

Pile 2 - The Wind 🕊

Third House - Communication, A New Day, Ball Pits, Family; 10 of Swords, 5 of Cups, III Empress, Knight of Pentacles, 4 of Cups

How's it going pile 2? I couldn't help but notice you have two pairs of swallows in your reading. Birds may have some significance for you, maybe you'll go birdwatching or even get a pet bird. For a small number of you, the birthday could involve a plane flight out of home for a quick trip. Could you be visiting family members? There's a lot of communication going on, for sure. Even if you're not traveling out by flight, you may have family members show up to take you out somewhere. They may be insistent on seeing you, talking to you, and spending time with you. The phone might blow up first thing in the morning with notifications and voicemail.

But I'm seeing a lot of hesitance in your tarot cards. You may be feeling tired or burned out and not necessarily in the mood to celebrate. The previous year was a doozy for you so perhaps catching up on sleep is more of your priority. Ever get the feeling of wanting to sleep because life is overwhelmed and you're like, "I give up (for now)?" and call it a day? You need to give yourself a chance to recuperate around your birthday, before during and after. Have a break so you can fully recover and receive all that the coming year has to offer you.

That means letting loved ones in your life, be they bio family or chosen family, understand that you'd rather have a small get together or a chance to rest every now and then if you're invited out somewhere. If you choose to go out, there's nothing wrong with taking it slow and easy, or doing something casual like grabbing some ice cream and sitting by the riverside to ponder the next year. Communicate your feelings instead of bottling them up in an attempt to keep up with everybody else. Don't let anyone convince you of how you should celebrate, it's your day your rules!

Others of you who have a little more energy, a little more of that "last year sucks, I need to go out and do something fun to sweat it off!", I feel like the ball is emphasized here with Knight of Pentacles beneath Ball Pits. Some of you looking for more action and noise may choose to go to a ball game, or spend time at the arcade playing pinball with friends. It could even be mini golf. Whether you are the low energy (calm) or high energy (excited) seeking type, getting the chance to have some fun is important, as long as it feels right for you.

This is the pile most likely to get some kind of surprise, be that a party (high energy) or a surprise gift (low energy). There will be a sense of being pampered. Some of you may get a larger number of gifts than you may have expected. You may receive a very beautiful gift, something you may treasure for a long time. Whatever it may be, allow yourself to thoroughly enjoy it and express that joy. Let yourself embrace gratitude, being mindful of what you have now regardless of how your last year has been and how your next year will be. For your next birthday, try to focus on the present (in both meanings).

Pile 3 - The Door 🗝

South Node - Past, Let Your Light Shine, Bubble Gum, Winter; Ace of Cups, 9 of Swords, 3 of Pentacles, XIX Sun, Page of Wands

Hey pile 3! For your next birthday, I'm definitely seeing you go outside to celebrate. There may be an actual party held outdoors, or you might choose to go out somewhere. I'm seeing parks, possibly national parks or natural trails. I'm getting the feeling of warm sunshine, the weather will likely cooperate perfectly on your day. You could be cruising through town, going from store to store (the 3 of pentacles reminds me of a mall here). Your birthday feels expansive and adventurous, ready for something new.

A small number of you may wish to engage a little bit in the spotlight, or you may be placed into a position of receiving more attention on this day. If you wish to, your birthday would be a great day to showcase your talents or passions, since I'm picking up a bit of Leo energy in this pile. With lips in Bubble Gum, you could be giving a speech? I'm picturing an actual toast, if you feel the strong urge to speak out then do so, let yourself be heard. I'm also seeing people sing for you at restaurants, so if that isn't your style, it's best to find a place to eat that doesn't do that sort of thing.

This birthday could be like your own version of a New Year's Eve celebration. Some of you may actually be born in the winter or around New Year's, so holidays and birthdays could tie in together. You're wanting your birthday to stand out amidst the traditional festivities (I've known many people born around Christmas who hate having their birthday gifts thrown under the tree, so you're not alone in that frustration!). You may get the idea of doing something out of the ordinary. Let yourself take the spotlight--it's your special occasion!

There's a message in your pile of letting old things go as you step into a new age. Old things from the year prior may still be sticking onto you, old issues from unresolved matters may pop up. They could be on the more practical side, like needing to sign something or finish a task on time. Be ready to step into the future unafraid--now is the time to shed the baggage. Your birthday can be the fresh start to a bright new trip around the sun, but you gotta give yourself that chance. If something needs to be resolved, and you got the time, tie up your loose ends beforehand so it's not weighing on you as you celebrate.

Your birthday is a threshold to an exciting new time for you. It may be like a breath of fresh air. I keep hearing "refreshed" and "invigorated", so this may be how you feel at the end of your birthday. You may do something that makes you think, "huh, why don't I do this more often?" That could be the key for you to step into something brand new. Will spending time with your friends refresh you, or going to a concert and discovering a new band that you will fall in love with as it warms up the show? Or may you desire to spend more time out in nature? Lean into what lights you up, listen to what engages you, and move from there.

Pile 4 - The Alchemist 🍾

Imum Coeli - Roots, Snow Day, Forest, Transformation; 3 of Cups, 6 of Cups, Ace of Swords, XII Hanged Man, 8 of Swords

What's up, pile 4? Your birthday is looking to be the absolute warmest and coziest out of all the piles. Many of you may identify strongly with introversion. I'm sensing a lot of you have your birthday around autumn or the cooler times of the year when most people are ready to bundle up in blankets or sit by the wood stove while awaiting the first signs of frost. Many of you may get a lucky chance to stay at home instead of needing to work or go to school, so you'll have the day off to plan out what you want to do. Others of you may desire to take time off if you have the chance to, I would go for it especially if you've been feeling the need to rest. You may live near trees or desire to be out in nature as a way to kick back.

I'm seeing someone invite a few friends over to watch old reruns of favorite shows while baking. It could be a gathering of closest friends, I'm not getting the sense that it'll be a big to-do bash. This day will be short, sweet, and simple. It's a good day for doing hobbies or spending time indulging in the gifts you were given. Some of you may rather spend time with family or those you live with instead of inviting people over. You and your family may share a special way of celebrating birthdays, I don't know of any birthday specific cultural traditions from the top of my head but you may have special rituals unique to you and your family. Either way, I get that you'll have a modest celebration that's nevertheless full of camaraderie and relaxing activities.

The description for the Alchemist card says "Allow Transformation", and you have another Transformation card. You may be doing a lot of transmuting on the inside, working through old stubborn patterns and limiting beliefs around this time. I'm seeing the ball of flame near the snow as if you're melting old self-sabotaging blockages away to make room for more growth in your coming year. This flame, this transmuting energy, is making way for the new to arrive.

The Hanged Man being tangled up in vines beneath a forest makes me think that you've been hung up on something that needs to be let go. You must prune in order to effectively grow. Too much in a small space can lead to cramming and confusion. You must deal with the thoughts tangling themselves up in your mind before cultivating the thoughts you want in their place. Changes may happen slowly on the outside, but when certain patterns are fully cleared out things can really take off.

So, for example, let's say you've wanted to sign up for a ceramics workshop for your birthday, or spend the day cleaning house (if you happen to find cleaning therapeutic). To do so, you'll need to not only free up your schedule, but free your mind of thoughts trying to convince you that you can't learn or can't clean. Perhaps it's difficult to not see the forest as just a bundle of trees. But a forest is more than trees, it's an entire system that supports itself in a perpetual cycle. Don't fill up your days with too many tasks, especially on your birthday. Pace the day with both the things you want to do and the things you have to do. The time around birthday will show you how to integrate the best of both worlds. We can have cake and eat it too, it's just a matter of pacing and doing things one at a time.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2024, @VitaminseeTarot ™

[rollingsins]

all hers, part i

part i | part ii | part iii | part iv | part v | part vi | part vii | part viii | part ix | part x | part xi | part xii | part xiii | part xiv | part xv | part xvi | part xvii | part xviii | part xix | part xx | part xxi | part xxii | part xxiii | part xxiv | part xxv | part xxvi | epilogue

summary: “I’d kill everybody in this town before they’d take you away from me.” Tara says, eyes wild. “I’d kill everybody in the world. You belong to me.” ghostface!tara

warnings: (+18), Tara is Ghostface, possessive behavior, vaginal sex, murder of an OC character), smut. 

word count: 4.2k

a/n: for anon, who requested some smutty, possessive ghostface!tara. very, very fun to write, let me know if you want me to write some more ;) 

Four murders in seven days. 

It was a nightmare. You’d heard the stories, sure. Seen the movies. But you’d never thought it would actually happen to you. 

That’s what you got for transferring to Woodsboro of all places. 

Your phone buzzes as you finish locking the remaining doors. It’s Tara. You smile instinctively as her name flashes across your screen. 

where are you? still coming over? 

You look outside. It’s dark already, and the thought of leaving the house when there’s a lunatic running around scares the shit out of you. 

not tonight sorry, baby. lost track of time. don’t want to leave Chase here by himself.

You contemplate asking her over. Her sister is in town, and you’d been trying to give them some space to reconnect. Sam was with her, you assured yourself. Besides, the last thing you wanted was her leaving the safety of her home and getting attacked. 

“YN! Popcorn ready?” 

You drop your phone to the counter, check on the popcorn in the microwave. 

Chase had been your first friend at Woodsboro High, before you’d met anyone else, even Tara. Since you’d started dating her, you hadn’t seen him much. He’d asked you over tonight - your parents were out and he didn’t want you on your own. He’d had a hankering, in somewhat bad taste, to marathon the Stab movies. 

It was nice being with Chase again, even under such terrifying circumstances. 

You tell him so. 

“You know why that is, right?” He laughs, shoveling a handful of popcorn into his mouth. “Your girlfriend hates me.” 

You roll your eyes. 

“She does not.” 

“Does too. Every time I see her she gives me these eyes.” 

He squints, twists his face into an angry glare. 

“Like she wants to kill me.” 

“You’re imagining it.” You tell him. 

Throw a kernel of popcorn at him. 

“Uh huh.” He says, turning his gaze back to the movie, “Sure.”

Talking about Tara had always been weird with him. He’d had a thing for you, back in the day, when you’d first met. He’d even asked you out once. But you already had your sights set on Tara and nothing could deter you. He’d taken it well-ish. So you’d thought. 

“How are things going with her, anyway?” His voice casual. You look over. 

“Good.” You say. “Great. Why do you ask?”

He doesn’t look away from the TV. Shrugs, but it’s tense. Like he’s trying to appear more non-committal. You suddenly feel uncomfortable. 

“Just wondering.” 

The movie plays a little, you let awkward silence wash over the room. Peer down at your phone. No response from Tara. Maybe you should have gone to her house after all. 

“I-” He says suddenly, then stops. Purses his lips. 

“What?” 

“It’s nothing.” He says. “Nevermind.” 

You stare. 

“What, Chase?”

“I just get a weird vibe from her sometimes. That’s all.” 

You blink, caught off guard. 

“You don’t know her.” You say, instantly defensive. “There’s no vibe. She’s perfect. She’s the perfect girlfriend.” 

And she was. She picked you up everyday at 8am on the dot to drive you to school. She walked you to class, held your books for you. Showered you with affection. 

“She’s possessive.” Chase says. He’s looking at you now. Words spilling out of him like they’ve been pent up for a while. “You just don’t see it because you’re all moon-eyed for her. It’s not normal. It’s like you're her special toy and nobody else can play with you.” 

“Stop.” You say. 

“She’s isolated you from all your friends.” He continues. “You used to play soccer, remember? What happened to that? What about dance? All the things you used to love. You don’t do them anymore. Your whole world revolves around her.” 

You stand up. A lump rises in the back of your throat. You’d come here to watch movies with an old friend, not have him berate you about your relationship. 

“That isn’t true.” You say, “With school, I just don’t have time for those things anymore-”

“Because when you’re not in school, you’re with her.” He presses. “And she wants you with her all the time. Like I said, possessive.” 

“Great to know how you really feel.” You say. Grab your phone. 

“Sorry, YN. The truth hurts.” He slumps back into his seat, stares at the TV again. “Where are you going?”

“Bathroom.” You mumble. 

You open your phone when you reach the bathroom, go straight to Tara’s contact. 

She’s opened your message, but hasn’t replied. 

“Great.” You say aloud. Your perfect girlfriend has left you on read. 

You contemplate calling her, asking her to come get you. No. You chew on your bottom lip. You could just leave, chance an encounter with ghost-face. You decide against it. You’re annoyed with Chase, but not that annoyed. 

You wash your hands. Head back downstairs. Flick Tara another message. 

You’re not mad, are you? Love you. Wish I was with you instead. xx

Chase hasn’t moved. He looks up when you enter, looking a little sheepish. 

“YN-”

“Don’t worry about it.” You say. Sink into the sofa, as far from him as possible. “Let’s just watch the movie.” 

And you do. Forty minutes of cheesy dialogue and bad acting and not a word from Chase. You like it that way. You keep glancing at your phone, waiting for your girlfriend’s response. But nothing. 

The movie’s over. You can hear the credits rolling, but your eyes are drooping. Half gone. Your phone long abandoned, Tara’s reply nowhere to be found. You’re dreaming of Hawaii in the summer. Pina colada in hand. Tara dressed in a bikini, waist deep in the water. Kissing her in the sand, not a care in the world. 

Then you hear the crash. 

Your eyes jerk open. You sit up. Startled. You look around the room. The TV has shut itself off. Chase is nowhere to be found. There are noises coming from the foyer. Your heart beats, fast. You look wildly around the room. You want something to defend yourself with. 

You settle on a small wooden zebra. Some useless ornament only Chase’s mom would decorate with. It’ll do. 

You hear scuffling. More crashing. Then, Chase’s voice, shrill - scared. 

“Please! Stop!”

Your ears ring. Terror rips through you as you make your way into the hallway, quietly as you can. 

Chase is on the floor, writhing, both his hands wrapped around a curved, silver dagger. 

Your stomach drops. 

It’s Ghostface. 

Your bottom lip trembles. You want to run. Scream. Hide. All at once. But you can’t. You’re rooted to the spot, transfixed. 

Ghostface raises his arm, steady. Then slams his dagger straight down and through Chase’s chest. Chase cries out. Blood gurgles from his lips. Ghostface stabs him, twice, then three times. Crazed. Possessed. 

Your body gives way. You let out a scream. Topple backwards into the hallway cabinet. 

Glass smashes around you. Ghostface looks straight at you. 

Your back hurts from the fall. You writhe desperately on the floor, trying to get up. The Zebra has slipped from your fingers. Tears tumble down your face. 

In your peripheral, you see Ghostface abandon Chase. Head straight for you.

You cry out as he makes a grab at you. 

“Stop.” His voice is contorted, unnatural. He’s using a voice-changer. That same awful voice from that dumb movie you’d just watched. You sob as his hands tighten around you. 

“I’m not going to hurt you. Don’t struggle.” 

You flop out of his grip, kick up just in time to take the Zebra in your hands. 

“I’m not here for you, stop-” 

Your fingers tighten around the Zebra. You use all your force to smack it hard against Ghostface’s head. You hear him cry out. Fall back. 

You’ve hit him hard. He clutches at his head as he falls back. 

There’s a clang as his mask hits the ground. 

Your breath hitches in your throat. Your chest seizes painfully. The Zebra in your hand slips out of your grasp and hits the floor. 

“Tara?” 

She looks up at you, her eyes wide, like a deer in headlights. Tears prick at the sides of your eyes. You blink. 

She swallows. Stands upright.  

“It’s okay, sweetheart.” She says. The voice changer is gone. The sound of her voice makes you want to weep, “Don’t be scared.” 

She edges towards you, slowly. As if you’re a baby rabbit that might startle at any moment. You see the gleam of her dagger in her hand. Still wet with blood. 

“Tara.” You say again, voice trembling. You take a step back. Panic floods through you. How can this be happening?

“It’s me.” She assures. “You don’t have to be afraid. Look.” She holds out her hand, drops the dagger to the floor. It careens over the carpet. Stains it with blood. 

She inches closer. You don’t realize just how close she is before she’s reaching out, tugging you into her open arms. Your body locks up. The shock, the panic, the lump at the back of your throat. Everything spills over. You blubber into her chest as she holds you tight. 

“Shhh. It’s okay baby.” She comforts you, hands rubbing tight circles across your back. You want to push her off. You want to run. But you can't, you're frozen, all you can do is bawl. She tilts your head up to her. Rubs her nose against yours. She smells metallic. Like blood. She’s covered in it, you realize with a start. 

You tremble. 

“Don’t be scared.” She repeats. Strokes her fingers along your cheeks. “My pretty girl. I would never hurt you.” 

Her eyes are wild. Pupils blown. No trace of your sweet, loving girlfriend. You don’t recognize the person in front of you. You want her off you. But you don’t dare push her away. She presses you into her. Over her shoulder, you see Chase’s lifeless body. His glassy eyes stare up at you. 

“He’s dead.” You say. Tears leak like acid from your eyes. Tara holds you tighter. 

“I know.” You feel her lips graze the side of your head. She presses a lingering kiss there. “I’m sorry you had to see, darling. I thought you were asleep.” 

A whimper emerges from your lips. Tears fall hot and fast down your cheeks, your hands limp at your side as she holds you. Cradles you. 

“Why?” 

She pauses. You feel her tense. 

“Because they wanted you. All of them. They wanted you, but I’d never let them have you. Because you’re mine.” 

And it clicks. There had been four victims so far. The first was Dan and his brother Sam, both boys you’d known since elementary school. Both who’d had crushes on you. 

Then there was Aaron, your first kiss. Then Sadie, your first girlfriend. 

Your bottom lip trembles. They were all dead because of you. 

Tears roll down your face. Your body starts to shake. 

Tara shushes you, pulls back only slightly to wipe away your tears. She’s so tender, gentle, you almost forget the bloodied body you’d just watch her maim lying in the corner of the room.  

“Don’t cry, sweet girl.” She presses her lips to your forehead. “Here. Look.” 

She steps back momentarily. Shimmies out of her black robes. She’s wearing your old varsity soccer t-shirt underneath. Your sweatpants. The necklace you’d got her for your one year anniversary. She looks like herself again. Your Tara. 

Your bottom lip trembles.

“See. It’s just me.” 

It makes you cry even harder. How could this be real? You’d just watched as your sweet, gentle, loving girlfriend had driven a knife into someone. 

Tara. How could it be Tara? 

“I know, I know, baby. It’s okay.” Her arms are around you again. She holds you as you sob. Every instinct in you screams to run. To get away from this deranged psycho who just killed your best friend in front of you. But you can’t. She’s the only one you want to run to. 

You press yourself into her, tears soaking through her shirt. She cradles you, you feel her lips ghost your forehead. 

“I didn’t want you to find out like this.” She says, “I’m sorry, baby girl. I know it’s a shock.” 

She holds you a while longer. Until your eyes are red and dry, nothing left to cry. Your heartbeat still hammering against your chest. 

What do I do?, You think. Where do I go?

She was calm now, much calmer than you. But that could change in a heartbeat. If you ran, she’d chase you. Maybe even kill you too. That look in her eyes, black, terrifying. You hiccup against her. 

What the fuck do I do? 

 She rubs your back. Draws away from you just enough to wipe the rest of your tears from your face. Lets her fingers linger on your cheeks. 

“Come here.” She dips down before you can protest. Presses her lips to yours. You don’t resist. Electricity flows through your body. Your stomach flutters the way it always does when she kisses you. Your body wants her just as it always does. Guilt flushes through you. You draw back, hold her at arms length. 

“I can’t.” You pull back, a fresh wave of tears rising. Your stomach turns. “I think I’m going to be sick” 

Her hands grip your shoulders. 

“It’s okay. It’s alright. Hey. Look at me.” She’s firm, suddenly. You look up at her through glistening eyes. She softens her voice again, brushes your hair out of your eyes. 

“I’m going to clean this up.” Her head jerks to the body near the corner of the room. “Then I’m going to clean you up.” She strokes the side of your face. Scratches on your cheeks from the glass. 

“And then I’m going to take you to bed and make love to you. Show you just how much I adore you. Alright? Will that make everything better, sweetheart?” 

Revulsion rises in your stomach suddenly. Her hands on you feel heavy. Suffocating. Your cheeks flush hot with emotion. 

“No. Don’t you dare touch me.” You say. You shake off her hands, take a step back. 

The words startle you as much as they startle her. Hurt clouds her features for a moment. She tries to smooth it over, tilting her head. 

“Baby. You don’t mean that.” 

“Yes I do. I don’t want you near me. Not after what you’ve done.” You back up, pressing yourself against the wall. Part of you wants to make a grab for the dagger but she’s too close. Besides, what would you do with it anyway? You weren’t like her. You weren’t a killer. 

Tara blinks. Her eyes fill with something you don’t recognize. 

“You’re just confused.” Tara says, voice hollow. “I know it’s hard to get your head around-“ 

“Please. Go. Just go.”

You’re shaking. Tara stares. Her bottom lip twitches. You recognize what’s behind her eyes this time. Anger. Irritation. 

“You want me to go? After all this. After everything I’ve done for you?” For the first time, her voice is trembling. She looks angry. Hurt. Confused. 

“For me?” You ask. Your voice rises. “You killed my best friend for me?” 

“For us.” She urges. “Don’t you see - there’s no distractions anymore. No one else. No one is going to take you from me.” 

She’s moving closer again. You don’t want her near you. You eye the door, move before she can stop you. 

“YN!” 

You run. Blood rushing in your ears. 

She calls your name again, but you don’t look back. The front door is locked, so you sprint for the back. You can’t think straight, can’t trust your own emotions. So you trust your instincts. 

Run. Run. Run. 

You reach the door, fumble with the handle. Your heart in your throat. You twist it madly, but it doesn’t budge. 

“Come on!” You cry out. You twist again, but it’s too late. 

You feel her hands on your waist as she grabs you. 

You struggle against her, screaming. The sheer force knocks you both over. You scramble up, trying to stand but she’s too quick.  Her hands wrap tight around your waist, pulling you back down to her. She grabs your wrists, holds them tight over your head as she climbs on top of you. 

“Get off me!” You cry, but she doesn’t. Squeezes you down tighter. 

Wild eyes stare down at you. Her eyes, usually the softest brown, are wide, saucer like. Her eyebrows knit together as she pleads.  

“Please, baby, stop.” She begs. “It’s me. It’s just me.” 

She’s smaller than you, but she’s so much stronger. She’s always been stronger than you. It used to be hot, the way she could hold you down with such little effort. Now, it terrifies you. 

You try with all your might to push her off but she only grips tighter. A frustrated sob emerges from your lips. She presses you against the floor. You feel her lips on your forehead as she shushes you.

“Don’t cry, sweetheart.” She says, voice so tender you almost forget she has you trapped in a vice grip. “I’m not going to hurt you.” 

“Then let me go.” You wail. Your body goes limp. There’s no point in struggling. She’s too strong. “Please, Tara, just let me go.” 

“I can’t do that, baby.” She says. Her voice soft, almost apologetic, “I love you.” 

You whimper, pathetically. Your mind whirls, going a mile a minute. There’s no way out, you realize. She’s stronger than you. She’s faster than you. And she’s hopelessly and desperately in love with you. She’ll never let you go. 

Your breathing evens out. 

“I love you.” She says again, voice barely above a whisper. 

Her breath is hot, against your mouth. You shudder. She presses her lips to your cheek. Nuzzles her nose into your neck. 

“I love you.” 

Her lips press into your neck. A hot jolt of energy sparks between your legs. Even now, after everything she’s done you can’t help but want her. You start to cry again. 

She tilts herself up. Looks at you, really looks at you. 

Gone is the manic, crazy killer who just chased you down a hallway and stuck a knife in your best friend. Her eyes are wide, that soft, sweet brown they always are. 

There she is. Your first love. Your high school sweetheart. The girl who had taken your virginity. Tara. Your sweet girlfriend, Tara. 

“I love you.” She whispers, a final time. Your heartbeat slows, steady. Your eyes flicker down to her lips. She notices. 

She lingers above you only a moment, before she leans down and captures your lips. 

Heat flushes to your cheeks. Butterflies erupt in your chest.

Warm, warm, warm. 

Is all you feel. 

You groan into her mouth. Confusion flashes through you once again. 

“Stop.” You murmur against her lips. Soft. Half-hearted, like you don’t mean it. She pulls back. 

“Stop?” She asks. Voice low. Like she knows what you’re going to say. 

Your breath hitches. Her hands loosen their grip on your wrists. Her weight on top of you suddenly feels erotic. 

“Don’t stop.” You whisper, and she claims your lips once again. 

Your kisses build, feverish. Desperate. A mesh of lips and teeth and tongue. You loop your hands through her hair, pull her tight against you. 

Her hands loop under your shirt, tug at your jeans. You pull hers off first, wanting her hot and naked against you, groaning at the heat of her skin against your own. 

All thoughts of Chase are gone as you slip your hands into her underwear. She’s wet already, gasps as you circle her clit. You press warm kisses to her jaw. 

She presses you back onto the floor. Tugs your underwear down your legs. Her fingers dip down to your heat. 

“Tara.” You gasp. She nuzzles herself into your neck. Presses, wet, sloppy kisses down your jawline. Her fingers brush your clit before she sinks her fingers inside you. 

She groans. Kisses you deep. 

“Fuck baby, you’re so tight. So wet.”

“Tara.” You gasp. Her fingers curl inside you, her thumb rubbing gently over your clit. She kisses you again. Works her fingers deeper into you. 

“Does that feel good, baby?” She asks. Her voice is graveled, thick with want. You moan out as she hits just the right spot. 

“You like that? You like my fingers inside you?” 

You nod, madly, clawing at her back, trying to pull her closer. 

“I like it too, baby. It’s my favorite thing in the world. I’d do anything to be inside you.” 

Her eyes are black, hazy, lust filled. You kiss her deeply. 

“I’d kill everybody in this town before they’d take you away from me.” She says, eyes wild. “I’d kill everybody in the world. You belong to me.” 

You moan. 

“Tell me.” She says, “Tell me who you belong to.” 

“You, baby.” You gasp. 

“That's right. All mine. Every inch of you.” She growls. Her hand movements are steady. Angry. Pounding into you. Your hips jerk with each thrust, your cheeks red. 

“Nobody else is going to touch you. Not ever. I’m the only one who gets to do this.” She says. Her eyes are starting to blacken again, jealous at the thought of somebody else sinking inside you. 

“No one else.” You pant. “I promise.” 

She growls, takes a nipple in her mouth. Bites down hard. Her fingers drive into your pussy. 

You moan her name. It relaxes her a little. She slows her pace, dipping down to kiss down your stomach. She nuzzles against your thigh, lovingly. 

“Who can blame them?” She says. She reaches up to touch your face, presses a gentle kiss to your belly. Her fingers pump in and out at a steady pace. Her fingers coated in your wetness. “My perfect girl. Always so beautiful. Who wouldn’t want you? I want you all the time.” 

She dips down, presses kisses to the tops of your thighs, rhythm steady as she fucks you. A low moan escapes from your mouth as she licks a long stripe down your center, stopping momentarily to wrap her lips around your clit. 

Your thighs clench around her head but she keeps your legs pried open. She sucks you only a moment before she’s grinning up at you, debauched, slipping a third finger inside your dripping cunt. 

“I wish I could spend every waking moment inside this gorgeous pussy. Always so pretty and tight and wet for me.  Always throbbing around my fingers. Squeezing. Trying to keep me in you, isn’t that right?” 

Her eyes gleam. Her pretty red lips sticky with your arousal. 

“You’d like that wouldn’t you, baby? You’d like me to be in you all the time.” 

“Yes.” You groan. 

“Dirty girl.” She chides. Her head dips down again, and you throw your head back as she sucks on your clit, hard. 

She releases you after a moment. Lips back on your thighs, fingers pummeling up into your g-spot. 

Your stomach coils. She sucks on your thigh leisurely, her fingers slamming into you with no mercy. 

“Mine.” She says. “Say it.” 

“Yours. All yours.” 

Her arms grip tight around your waist. She licks her way up your length, not stopping the force of her fingers. 

You throb around her, so close. She presses kisses to your thighs as she works you to the edge. 

“You going to come for me, baby?” She murmurs, lips on your clit, “Good girl. That’s it, sweetheart. Come in my mouth.” 

She sucks your clit, hard, and you topple over the edge. 

Your back arches. You let out a low groan as your orgasm washes over you. She works you though it, lovingly sucking, her fingers curled. 

You slump back onto the floor as she presses kisses to your belly. She keeps her fingers in you as she leans up, kisses you so tenderly. 

“Good girl.” She murmurs. You sigh into her mouth. You can taste yourself on her lips. It’s intoxicating. She presses a kiss to your neck. 

Draws her fingers out of you. You whine. She smiles, sucks you off her fingertips. 

“Don’t worry baby.” She murmurs. Brushes a lock of hair off your sweaty forehead. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

Your heart beat slows. She shuffles herself off you.

Wraps herself tight around your waist, drawing you into her. 

Your eyes draw to the robes of the floor. The mask. The dagger. Chase is here somewhere, dead in another room. And you just fucked his killer. 

Shame floods through you. Your body tenses. She can sense it. She turns you in her arms, pulls you into her bare chest. 

“Shh. Don’t look, baby.” She coos. “I’ll clean it up.” 

“He’s dead.” You say. More monotone than anything. In the last thirty minutes you’ve felt every possible emotion you could ever feel. You’ve cried every last tear. You’ve fought and struggled and lost against your own desires. You’re exhausted. 

“It’s alright, babe.” She senses your resignation. Presses a soft kiss to your forehead. “Now it’s just you and me. The way it should be.” 

She tilts your face up to hers. You let her press a kiss to your lips. Close your eyes. 

“I’m all yours, baby.” She says. “And you’re mine. Forever.”  

You nod, slowly. 

She is, there’s no point in denying it. 

Next part

[tylermileslockett]

All right folks, Argonautica is a go! woohoo! 

I wanted to start with a map just so i could wrap my head around the journey and get familiar with the major locations and events in chronological order. I'll do another image showing the major heroes, and then we can dive into individual scene/event illustrations. Ill probably do around 12 -14 images for this myth, so I'll have to be picky about which scenes i illustrate.

Argonautica 1: Overview and Map Route

I.) Iolcis; The crew departs from Jason’s hometown. II.) Lemnos; the island tribe of women who murdered their husbands. III.) Doliones battle: a mistaken battle results in the death of King Cyzicus IV.)  Chios: Hylas abducted by water nymph, Heracles left behind V.) Phineus, a blind seer, is rescued by the Argonauts from Harpies. VI.) The Symplegades (Clashing rocks) a treacherous passage. VII.)  Stymphalian birds: the heroes drive away the man -eating birds VIII.) Colchis; Jason overcomes three trials of King Aeetes to obtain Golden Fleece with the assistance of the sorceress Medea. IX.) Brygean Islands: Medea and Jason trick and murder her brother Apsyrtus to escape Colchian pursuit. X.) Circes Island; The goddess purifies Jason and Medea of blood-guilt. XI.)  The Sirens; Orpheus drowns out the sirens calls with his own song. XII.)   Scylla and Charybdis; Thetis and Nereids guide Argo through XIII.) Drepane Island: escaping 2nd Colchian fleet, Jason and Medea wed. XIV.) Syrtes:  three Nymphs instruct crew to carry Argo on their backs for 12 days XV.)  Garden of the Hesperides; XVI.) Lake Triton: Triton, Son of Poseidon, instructs crew on passage to sea XVII.) Crete: Medea uses her magic to defeat Talos, a giant bronze warrior XVIII.) Aegina Island: the journey ove r, they perform rites for Apollo

Do you like this art? would you like to own a book jam packed with over 130 illustrations like this? Then please support my kickstarter for my book "lockett Illustrated: Greek Gods and Heroes" coming in OCTOBER.

click on my LINKTREE for the Kickstarter link to "notify me when the project goes live." In my linktree is also a link to join my free email newsletter for book updates in the coming months, with free Hi res art and a 25% etsy print shop discount! 

[fashionbooksmilano]

Ricamata Pittura

Quadri ad ago dal XVII al XX Secolo

testi di Monica Amari, M. Daniela Lunghi, Marialuisa Rizzini

Antea edizioni, Milano 1991, 54 pagine, 23 x 30 cm.

euro 50,00

email if you want to buy booksinprogressmilano@yahoo.it

Palazzo della Permanente, Milano novembre 1991,

Dall'annoso "duello" tra opera d'arte e sua riproduzione, alla disamina delle immagini più diffuse nel corso dei secoli. E'su questi parametri che l'immaginario connoisseur, lettore di questo volume, potrà trovare spunti di notevole interesse per ampliare la conoscenza dell'eclettico mosaico iconografico della storia. Con l'ausilio di inedite fonti, come i "quadri a ricamo", Dagli spendori del Seicento, agli sperimentalismi cromatici dell'Arte Contemporanea

10/07/23

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[angel-kyo]

Pay it no mind

Part XXI

In which reader confesses their feelings to Gojo, but it seems these are not returned (maybe?).

Warnings: reader is on the receiving end of rejection (kinda), and the fact that I'm obsessed with unrequited love is a warning itself, but... as for this part in particular, this is mostly half-ish fluff.

Previous: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, Part XII, Part XIII, Part IV, Part XV, Part XVI, Part XVII, Part XVIII, Part XIX, Part XX

----------------------

“I know what you’re thinking,” Suguru said not even glancing at the white-haired boy who was keeping a steady but disturbing look on him since earlier that afternoon. “And to be clear now, it’s not like that,” he reiterated, brown eyes finally meeting the accusing blue ones.

“I know, I know...” he heard Satoru replied in a not so convinced tone, but the scrutinizing look remained.

“I thought we were past this,” Suguru muttered as he laid on his bed and busied himself with a new book he had gotten that week.

Suguru could swear on whatever Gojo asked him to, that he was just trying to comfort you. He had seen you bit down since Ikeda had left for who knows where, but training sessions always seemed to lighten your mood, so Suguru had kept on training with you.

Once in a while, Gojo would join or just sit and watch, no issues there. But that afternoon, it had been just Suguru and you, and while you were taking a break after a sparring session, he had brought up the idea of going to the spring festival that was being held in the city that weekend. Alas, your reaction had not been what he expected.

“It’s been a while since all of us went out, right? It’ll be fun,” Geto said with his ever-light smile.

“That festival?” Geto saw your eyes started losing some of the spark they always had after a good fight, “I think I’ll pass…” What he saw then was a sad smile on your face, “It’s just… “

You explained to him that Haruki had promised to take you to that festival too, saying every year it was livelier and more beautiful than the last; the decorations, the food, the fireworks at night… Of course he would not fulfill that promise now, not that one, not any other.

“I know it’s lame… I really don’t want to miss him, but I do,” you admitted. “You guys should still go. I heard this year they are really going all out…”

You did not notice how your voice had lowered, but Suguru did. “There is nothing wrong with missing someone.”

He could not help but to compare your current mood to how you used to brim with excitement about your friend. Unfortunately, Suguru was not like Shoko, and he was not sure of what you needed to hear in this situation, nor was he like Satoru, who seemed to know what you needed even when you did not want to see anyone. So, he did the only thing that he could think of: he hugged you.

To say it surprised you to have Suguru’s arms around you would have been an understatement; he was not the type to initiate that sort of contact with you, but it still conveyed his message: you are not alone.

And after a moment, you and he noticed, you were in fact, not alone.

“Is this what they call training now?” Satoru appeared behind of you with a mocking smile on his semblance.

Instinctively, you and Suguru separated. Gojo would definitely tease you both for looking so vulnerable when you were supposed to be training to become stronger, but if you were waiting for another quip, it never came. Satoru was too busy directing a questioning look to his other friend.

When they were alone, Suguru tried to make it clear to Satoru that you were fine; what he had seen in the training grounds was just a nice gesture between friends, and that the look he had given him was not necessary, but he was not having much success in putting the matter to rest.

After all, even if Satoru was okay with him and Shoko being your friends, he still was a little too protective of you sometimes, and after seeing what had happened with the last person you had become too fond of, Suguru could not blame him for worrying a little.

“Satoru, you know Ieiri and I just want to be there for them, right?” Suguru finally said to him. “That’s what friends are supposed to do, so let us help, okay? We won’t take them from you.”

***

When Satoru opened his eyes, it was still dark outside.

It was odd for him to have dreams like those. He was used to little sleep and unpleasant dreams he would force himself to forget after waking up, but dreaming about his old best friend the way he had been in high school was... bittersweet. That was the Suguru that had been your friend and his, but also the one that had left.

What would he say if he could see him like this, dinning at your place, sleeping in your bed, accommodating himself in your life, now looking so comfortable with the feelings he had always denied?

Satoru smiled at the thought and turned to look at your sleeping form. He should have seen it coming.

While he was confident in his feelings now, for some reason, the words he had read earlier still bothered him.

“My affections and wishes are unchanged.” -I.H.

Satoru had never seen that book in your apartment before, and he knew you and Haruki had somewhat resumed your friendship now that he was back, but had he really written that for you recently?

He knew better than to jump to conclusions based on a badly written line on the inside of a random book. Maybe Ikeda had not written it for you at all; and even if he had, he may not have meant anything by it. He had been gone for years, right? He would not hold onto a high school crush after all this time, would he?

Satoru suddenly remembered the Ikeda that he had seen that night in front of your building, you and him smiling to each other, how he had leaned down…

He shook his head, wanting to forget it.

He would, of course he would.

He turned again. If he kept thinking about that, he would not sleep.

Did he have any right to ask you to explain what your relationship with that man was now? Was he just a friend who wanted to be there for you, a friend of yours Satoru was supposed to trust? Because he was not sure he could do it if Ikeda himself did not want to remain as just a friend as he had oh-so-kindly clarified in the past.

“Why should it bother me?”

“I like them.”

To think he would still remember that guy’s voice after so long….

Satoru closed his eyes and tried to ignore the memory of that evening, the certainty in the boy’s words, his own inability to say anything back, and the echo of an approaching train.

***

You watched Satoru generously poured some more syrup over his pancakes while he told you he had cancelled his plans for earlier so he was able to have breakfast with you.

“Well, ‘cancelled’ is probably not the right way to put it. I just had Ijichi take care of it.”

Isn’t that too much syrup?

“He complained a bit, but this is nice,” he gestured to the breakfast he had almost burned a few minutes ago, “don’t you think?”

You took the syrup from him.

“I think that’s enough,” you said looking at his plate. “And…” you sat down back on your seat in front of him, “I also think you should be nicer to Ijichi. You can't just boss him around like that all the time.”

“He owed me one,” Satoru gave you a sweet smile before digging in on his plate.

Since he was busy with his meal, you talked. “I will need to go out for a bit but will be back later. Do you want to have dinner at that place from last time?”

Satoru shook his head. “Let’s try something different this time.”

Him wanting to try different restaurants was not weird, but what he said next almost got you choking on your pancakes.

“Let’s go on a date.”

***

“We don’t need to do that, Satoru… I mean, aren’t dates just like going out for food or coffee? We do that all the time,” you tried to smile at him despite how odd you found his proposition.

“Maybe, but I think it should be fun, no?”

That was how you ended up walking next to Satoru in a museum among some of the most valuable works of the Edo period.

You had to give him some credit; it had been a while since you and him had gone to an exhibit, and he had actually dressed up for you.

Not that Satoru had ever been under-dressed for any occasion, and he certainly had the charm to make the most simple outfit look stylish, but this time he was purposely wearing the shirt you had given him for his last birthday because you had said it would look good on him even if it was not from a well-known designer, and the cologne he knew you liked because you always told him he smelled nice when he wore it.

“Many of these are not pretty, don’t you think?” Satoru had leaned down and whispered in your ear, giving a side eye to the piece you were admiring.

You smiled. “You know? The impression of the smart, cultured man you give really loses credibility when you say things like that.”

“You think I’m smart and cultured?” You could see the smirk growing on his face despite the lighting that was meant to focus all attention on the artwork, leaving the visitors poorly illuminated.

Satoru looked good with or without good lightning, and he knew it, so you would not add up to his ego.

“Of course not.” You took a few steps to the next piece.

Satoru smiled as he watched you move from one print to another. You were on a date with him, so even if you were teasing him, he did not care.

To his credit, he did like some kinds of art and was not such a bad critic of composition and relevance when he would actually pay attention to an art piece, but now, his main focus was on you.

***

“I didn’t know you could eat that much,” you grinned.

“There are many things you don’t know about me.” Satoru winked in your direction.

You laughed. “I know you since you were six. I'd dare say, there isn’t much I don’t know about you.”

“I can think of a few things.”

You and he were walking on your way back from the sushi restaurant where Satoru had invited you to dinner to finalize your date, and his statement made you stop and look at him to challenge him.

“Name one,” you said.

His smirk was that of a winner. “I don’t know how to tie a necktie.”

You rolled your eyes. “I knew that. It’s always been me or Shoko doing it for you, dummy.”

You also thought he knew how to do it but was just too lazy for it.

He took a step further, still smiling. “What about this? I still watch Digimon sometimes.”

“I’m not impressed… I saw your Digimon boxers.” You tried to suppress a laugh but failed when looking at his expression. “They were in your laundry room last time.”

He laughed, and the light flush on his cheeks made him look younger. “Why did you go through my laundry?”

“I didn’t! You had them hanging there for any unfortunate eyes to see.” You took another step back and he, another one closer. “Don’t tell me you are wearing them now.”

“Wouldn't you like to find out?” You were both chuckling. and as you took another step back, you realized Satoru was much closer than before.

He had taken off his sunglasses from earlier. He did that often around you, these days more than ever, as if he wanted to see you without obstruction, as if he wanted you to know he was looking at you.

“Not fair…” he was still smiling but his voice was lower, and your back finally made contact with the wall behind you. “You know this much, but I don’t know everything about you, do I?”

He was not just joking; you were not being fair. You did not tell him about the proposal from the Zenin clan; he did not know what the situation was with Ikeda, and more importantly, Satoru was not sure of where you wanted things to go now that he had confessed his feelings for you.

I said I did not need an answer now, but are you at least thinking about it, [name]?

Satoru knew there would be no turning back if you started something, if you told him that you loved him as he loved you.

“You don’t? I’m a bit offended.” You tentatively raised your hand to touch the collar of Satoru’s shirt. You had recognized it immediately when he had shown up that afternoon.

I was right, it looks good on him.

“I heard the most hilarious rumor recently.” Satoru wanted you to touch more than just his clothes, but he wanted answers too. “About you on the verge of making me attend your wedding with a Zenin.”

Your hand froze. The fabric of his shirt was extremely soft, contrary to the look in his eyes that seemed to want to read through you.

Who told you about that?

No. If Satoru had not told you from the start, he would probably not tell you now. In any case, he had you cornered, both figuratively and physically.

You averted your gaze and tried to keep the mood playful. “As if you would have attended.”

No, I wouldn’t have. Over my dead body you would marry into that hideous clan.

Seeing how he was not going to play along, you sighed. “It was nothing. They summoned me a couple months ago, and I told them I wouldn’t marry them, and that was the end of it.”

Was it? They had been insistent but eventually left you alone, or so you thought.

Satoru tried to find your gaze again. “Why didn’t you tell me? If they are still bothering you…”

“They asked me not to comment on it with anyone, since my response was… not what they expected.”

As if there was a reason why they should have expected you to accept, those fools.

“And they’ve let me alone, so it’s alright.” Satoru’s skin was warm when your hand touched his face.

He leaned into your touch. “Who was it?”

Now, that was something you were not supposed to disclose either, and you did not want Satoru to try to take the matter into his own hands.

“Don’t go looking for trouble. You have Megumi you care about.”

“I know... He’s not like them, you know? Won’t ever be.”

You mouthed ‘I know’.

And you did, you trusted him to protect that kid just as he always tried protecting his students.

There were other things Satoru wanted to ask, but your eyes staring into his and the proximity were making his mind deviate. He had felt that before with you, too warm, too at ease, so much that he could forget the world.

He brushed his nose against yours. “Did you know I really want to kiss you now?”

The street was deserted but for you too, but it still hit you that he was asking for a kiss in a place where any passerby or curious neighbor could see.

Still, you pulled him in because you wanted to kiss him too, and when your lips connected, albeit unsaid, the same thought flashed through your minds.

We cannot go back to how we were.

And if there had been such neighbor who wanted to open their curtains to glance into the peaceful darkness outside, or such passerby with business to attend in the middle of the night, when they noticed the couple on the street, they would most certainly think they were just another pair of lovers, because who would mistake them for friends?

----------------------

Note: I almost feel tempted to end everything here, even if that was not my original plan lol.

Thanks for reading!

@mavs-stuff @witchbybirth @crookedlyaddictedone-blog @tqd4455 @maybe-a-bi-witch @mo0nforme @maliakealoha @zacatecanaaaa @blushhpeachh @astriarose @missesgojosatoru @ba-ks @sukunasleftkneecap @songbirdlully @cole-silas @heijihattorisgf @chokesonspit @hersheyzzz @smolbeanzzz @luciledreamz @avidreadee123 @moonmalice @ratscandaler @sadmonke @allie-jay @username23345 @spin-garden @ashehateaccount @kayzens @blehtotheblehtothebleh @stellasloth @bloopsstuff @cheesemachine44 @tetsuski @rosellerinfrost @catowru @bi-narystars @wondermilka

[spirk-trek]

The Incredible Star Trek Book | Tarot Cards by Donna L. Astin, 1974

read below for card descriptions and click here to see the original scanned pages in full!

IV EMPEROR

[James T. Kirk, SC 937-0176 CEC, Captain, Starship Commander, U.S.S. Enterprise]

Kirk is a power in his world, the Enterprise. He is a virile and confident man, willful and just.

VII CHARIOT

[Montgomery Scott, Lieutenant and Engineering Officer, U.S.S. Enterprise]

Scott is dedicated to science, and to the child of science, the Enterprise. He is a traveler. His decisions are purely scientific, as is the nature of his work.

XVII STAR

[Uhura, Connunications officer, Lieutenant, U.S.S. Enterprise]

Uhura is a beautiful woman, endowed with a gift that soothes and heals, her voice. In her generosity she uplifts her fellow crewmen through song.

IX HERMIT

[Mr. Spock, Science Officer, U.S.S. Enterprise]

Spock is a symbol of attainment. He is detached, aloof, and discreet. His mind is balanced and analytical. His philosophy is his strength.

KNIGHT OF SWORDS

[Sulu, Helmsman, Weapons Officer, U.S.S. Enterprise]

This card signifies a typical hero of romantic chivalry, one whose sword is swift and sure. Sulu, as typified by this card, is also skillful, brave, and adventurous. He is either a hero, as the card shows, or he wishes he were.

[obscured-everything]

​​OBSCURA trailer analysis & theories

The OBSCURA trailer is very pretty (watch it if you haven’t already <3) and is also full of interesting symbolism and snippets of Latin. In this post I’m going to be manually translating and providing notes on the Latin, as well as discussing what the numbers mean and giving my own plot speculations. SPOILERS for OBSCURA’s Chapter 1 with every love interest. 

I’m going to be working with the theory that the numbers correspond to the Major Arcana in a Rider–Waite–Smith tarot deck. I’ll be pulling tarot card information from A.E. Waite’s 1910 book ‘The Pictorial Key to the Tarot’, where he discusses the symbolism of the images in the cards and provides divinatory meanings. 

Shoutout to @/starlitmanta and @/mostlygayrage for posting their own analyses before me! I got inspired by both of them to both write down my thoughts and then actually finish the post after leaving it for months lol. @/mostlygayrage has some interesting stuff on the imagery and also delved into the Latin! Although he took it as one sentence which I won’t be doing – I’m going to take the double forward slashes as an indication of a break. 

Disclaimer that I haven’t formally studied Latin in years so if there are any errors feel free to point it out in the notes! 

Cirrus

18. Presbyter // Ecclesiae lunaris XVII: The Moon. Priest // Lunar churches 

18. Obsequium // ducit ad caelum Obedience // he leads to heaven TL notes N/A Tarot meaning To quote Waite, “The moon is increasing on what is called the side of mercy… the path between the towers is the issue into the unknown. The dog and wolf are the fears of the natural mind in the presence of that place of exit, when there is only reflected light to guide it…the message is: Peace, be still; and it may be that there shall come a calm upon the animal nature...” 

Upright: Hidden enemies, danger, darkness, terror, deception, occult forces, error. Reversed: Instability, inconstancy, silence, lesser degrees of deception and error. Speculation I think we can all agree that Cirrus is not trustworthy, hence danger, deception, occult forces etc. Nevertheless, Vesper (if you’ve got a good ending, at least) puts great degrees of trust in him. ‘A calm upon the animal nature’ calls to mind his odd ability to influence Vesper’s choices and force them into saying ‘yes’, but I also thought it might reference something about Vesper putting aside their instinctive reservations about Cirrus’ suspicious character to follow him into an unknown future. 

Leading to heaven is, to me, a bit double-edged; it could mean death or paradise. Very fitting, I think. 

Keir

20. Keir // Cavillatur fur XX: Judgement. Keir // Mocking thief 

20. Fatum // vestrum vel extraneus [Destiny / (calamitous) death] // yours or a stranger TL notes I’m inclined to believe that Keir’s name being his plain name rather than an epithet is probably just part of his blunt kind of character, and ‘mocking thief’ is probably related to his personality too. Also, there is another piece of Latin on that first screen – ‘cultellus’, which means ‘dagger’ and points downwards towards where his dagger is held. Also, ‘fatum’ is a very interesting word in that it carries an intriguing potential double meaning. Tarot meaning Upright: Change of position, renewal, outcome. Reversed: Weakness, pusillanimity, simplicity; also deliberation, decision, sentence. Speculation Waite’s initial discussion of Judgement is very Biblical which I doubt has much to do with OBSCURA’s use of it. I do think the divinatory meanings are very interesting – I think that at a good/best end of Keir’s route, he’ll be able to come out on top and secure a good and/or stable future for himself and/or Mouse Hole. 

My current theory is that, since we have had mentions of Keir and Oleander in each others’ routes, that they have direct effects on each others’ fates. This fits with ‘yours or a stranger’ of course, but also the double-edged ‘destiny or (calamitous) death’ – I’ll speculate more in Oleander’s route, but I think he and potentially most of Mouse Hole will not fare well if Vesper picks Oleander. 

I’m interested in why his dagger was explicitly pointed out and labelled. I’m kind of shooting in the dark here but I think it’ll be significant in the future – either as a symbol of his history (specifically with Oleander, perhaps?) or as a plot device of some sort. 

Oleander

11. Nerii // Periculosum scurra XI: Justice. Of oleander // Dangerous clown 

11. Patiuntur // sicut habes They are suffering // just like you are TL notes More technically, ‘nerii’ is the genitive of ‘nerium’, which means oleander. This makes sense to me when I think about how he’s had a history of changing names – he’s moreso embodying the qualities of oleander (a pretty but dangerous plant) rather than taking it as a definitive name. 

‘Patiuntur’ is in the plural, and suffering might be a strong word depending on how you look at it – the original word is like enduring through something difficult or unpleasant. Tarot meaning Waite basically says that the card has ‘obvious meanings’ so I don’t think I need to look too closely into it. 

Upright: Equity, rightness, probity, executive; triumph of the deserving side in law. Reversed: Law in all its departments, legal complications, bigotry, bias, excessive severity Speculation The second half of the second piece of Latin, ‘sicut habes’, is in the second-person and I’m assuming that this is meant to address Vesper/MC. Maybe Oleander is also looking for something that he can’t find or afford, although the plural throws me off a bit if that’s the case. Maybe it’s referencing Oleander’s previous Vigils (since Vesper is currently holding that position, ‘just like’ they have) or something…? 

Now, here is my plot theory which may or may not be insane. We know that Oleander has committed murder, and was very blasé about it; presumably he’s done this sort of thing before. We know that in his route, Keir has been alluded to, Griff has shown up and Keir is presumably going to show up at some point. I think that Oleander’s involvement with Keir is going to end very poorly for Keir, even leading to the calamity insinuated in Judgement. Specifically, I think that Oleander and Keir are going to be caught up in a serious crime and Keir is going to take the fall, leading to a permanent end for him (death, probably) and the following collapse of Mouse Hole. Oleander will get off lightly or scot-free (Justice’s ‘triumph of the deserving side in law’, ‘deserving’ as opposed to Keir who is indisputably a criminal and receives ‘excessive severity’). 

This could be from Keir and his group failing the burglary since Vesper isn’t there to cover for the injured lookout, or it could be something else that brings in the dagger which was pointed out in Keir's portion of the trailer. I’m thinking murder, honestly. 

Francesco

10. Franciscum // innocentes nobiles X: Wheel of Fortune. Francisco // innocent nobles 

10. Tempus // decurrit Time // runs out TL notes Grammatically, ‘Franciscum’ is in the accusative (the case used to mark the ‘object’ on which a verb acts). This could be a stylistic thing or it could allude to how he’s being ‘acted upon’ by whatever power/influence his family have. 

‘Decurrit’ is literally ‘runs down’ which fits with the hourglass imagery, but I imagine that the spirit of the phrase is ‘runs out’ especially since his route already alludes to that. Tarot meaning To quote Waite, “the symbolic picture stands for the perpetual motion of a fluidic universe and for the flux of human life … the essential idea of stability amidst movement. Behind the general notion expressed in the symbol there lies the denial of chance and the fatality which is implied therein.” 

Upright: destiny, fortune, elevation, luck, felicity. Reversed: increase, abundance, superfluity. Speculation I think that at some point within Francesco’s route, his family is going to be further involved. I assume that these are the ‘innocent nobles’, which makes me think that whatever state or situation that they find Francesco in won’t be very innocent at all. Alternatively, it could be that his family is more innocent/harmless than they present themselves as – depending on circumstance, this could be a big win for Vesper or a big loss because they don’t have the family backing that they thought they did. 

The Wheel of Fortune carries connotations of luck and change in fortune. I assume that Vesper provides Francesco with some degree of ‘stability amidst movement’ and that any ‘denial of chance’ involves Francesco leaving the marketplace and returning to the very clearly mapped out future that his family has for him, thus leading to a bad end. ——————————

Thanks for reading to the end!