#book so bad that even the matrix agreed

[transingthoseformers]

No yeah I cannot forget the "Optimus Prime read fifty shades of gray and regretted it" post

Imagine the kids are over at the base and just hear a distant sharp "thunk" and Ratchet is quietly trying not to laugh because he knows it's Optimus throwing the book against the wall because Oppy is that exasperated

"I thought we were supposed to treat books with great respect?"

"That old friend is not a book; Ṭ̶̀h̴͙̪̾́a̶̟͕̔t̶͓͐ ̴̘͉̌͑i̵̫̕s̵͇̍ ̴̠̞̓s̵͚̃̂ǐ̵̜̃x̴̟̒̾ͅ ̷̫̽ẖ̷̏u̴̯͂͑ň̸̹d̵̨͕͗͛r̸̜̯̀e̶͎̠͊ḏ̵͛̉ ̵̳̪̃ã̶̖̅n̴̠̓ͅd̸̦̋͊ ̵̨̿o̴̙͒͛ͅń̷͓e̵̘̅ ̴̨̐p̸̱̔̋ȧ̴͙̰g̴̘̑͝ë̷̩͈͝ş̶͎̔ ̷͚͕͊ò̴̺f̵̡̅ ̶͇͔́á̵̢̻̀g̸͚̼̽o̴̡̱̅̈́n̴͖̿̅y̷̘̼̓.̶̼͕̀̇ I am greatly disappointed in you for recommending this to me."

[dixonsstinkysock]

"Je t'aime de tout mon cœur."

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader, Daryl Dixon x Daughter, (slight Carol x Reader???)

Era: Daryl Dixon: The Book of Carol

Pronouns: She/Her

Warnings: Swearing, Violence, Descriptions of the Dead… THIS TAKES PLACE IN EPISODE 1 OF THE BOOK OF CAROL, IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN IT AND WANT NO SPOILERS, DO NOT READ.

Word Count: 3,441

Chapter Summary: Carol, Reader, and Remy start their search for someone who’s been gone far too long.

A/N: This is (sorta) my first x reader fic. I’m super excited and nervous at the same time, I’ve worked very hard on this chapter so I hope it’s readable. Also this entire fic was inspired by @villifix !! They are so creative and are basically the reason I’m writing this 😭😭. Sooo Thank you so much for inspiring me! (and letting me use your character concept muah) I don’t know alot about guns or cars so bear with me here. One more thing, I feel like Carol is very protective over the reader and Remy in this, which is mostly biased because I think she’s hot and I want her to protect me…okay goodbye.

Click–clack..click–clack..click– 

“Ow! Damn– ...Sorry.” You adjust the rearview mirror to glance at the 17 year old in the backseat– who should be asleep– instead messing with that stupid butterfly knife.

“What happened? I thought you were sleeping.” You mentioned, slightly annoying at the fact she’s still trying to perfect her knife tricks, over getting some rest. Carol looks back at the hazel-eyed girl, checking if the wound is bad enough to pull-over. “You’ll be okay Rem, it’s just a small knick. Be more careful–Please. We wanna bring you back home in one piece.” 

“Right..I’ll be more careful.” Remy agreed, her voice small and soft, as if she’s a little..embarrassed. “Uhm..Mom, could we stop for a minute?” she asks with a slight country accent–an accent she got from being raised by a certain redneck archer. “I kinda have to pee..” 

“Sure Angel Face, it can’t hurt us to take a short break.” You smile at her through the rearview and turn to pull onto a dirt patch on the side of the road.

Remy walks a little out into the brush–knife in its sheath–hidden a little under her purple zebra striped dress. You and Carol are leaned up against your car, a white, 2010 Toyota Matrix. “Have you noticed anything off about Remy recently?” You question, turning to face Carol. “It’s like she’s…I don’t know–Distracted?” Carol responds immediately, already having an idea of what the problem was.

“Well..We’ve been looking for Daryl non-stop and we’ve had no luck so far. Not so much as even a clue. She’s worried, I don’t blame her..I am too.”

Remy stands, fixing her dark brown-striped leggings. It’s quiet, the only sounds are the leaves rustling, a squirrel scurrying home with dinner. It’s almost peaceful–if you forget the dead are roaming around. Unfortunately, the smell is too pungent to miss, their throaty growl, the agonizingly slow footsteps or the sound of their decaying body separating as they drag themselves against the ground. Remy knows the feeling, knows the sound, the smell–it’s like being watched..being hunted. 

It isn’t hard finding the lone walker, Remy gets closer to “put it out of its misery” as she says. She knows that the dead aren’t people anymore but she still prefers to give them the respect they deserve– for them to finally rest in peace…sometimes pieces.

Carol notices her first, itching to get back on the road and continue their search for their beloved hunter. You all pile back into the car, preparing for the long journey ahead. You look back at Remington–your daughter–she’s grown so much, so fast.

“You okay Rem? No bites?”

“Yeah, No bites.”

Turrrr..turrrr..turrrrrr

“You hear that?’

“Yeah..There!” 

Carol frantically points to where the familiar noise is coming from– a motorcycle– specifically Daryl’s motorcycle but…No Daryl. 

“Mom, is that–” 

“Yes it is, buckle up please.” Of course, Remy is already buckled.. She doesn’t feel safe riding in a vehicle without a seatbelt– especially with her mother driving. You whip the car around, now following behind the bike– matching its speed, determined to find out where this random man got Daryl’s bike from.

Carol rolls the window down, leaning out of it to aim her handgun at him. Only wanting to do enough damage to where he stops– and is still able to be questioned after the crash.

BANG! SCREEEEEK! 

Fortunately, the man is almost perfectly intact..besides the bullet wound in his shoulder. Also– lucky for him– You’re able to bring the car to a halt just before running him over. Carol gets out of the car, slowly, the stranger obviously isn’t going anywhere. She walks to the trunk, and pulls out her Weatherby PA-08, already loaded.

Approaching the injured man, aiming her shotgun–

“Where’d you get the bike?” Her voice is flat, but confident.

“W-Wait! Don’t shoot..please..” The man’s voice was shaky and unclear, almost on the verge of tears as he held his wounded shoulder.

“Where did you get the bike?”

You’re still in the car, not bothering to get out, knowing Carol can handle this herself. That crash was loud enough to draw a good amount of walkers– you hope to get out of here before then. Remy’s in the backseat twirling the ends of her short braids, a nervous tic she’s had since she grew hair.

Carol checks the man for any weapons, she finds a small hunting knife and a handgun similar to her own. No bullets. You decide to get out of the car now, wondering what’s taking so damn long.

“He know anything?”

“Yeah a little..Let’s tie him up. Leave him in one of those trunks over there.”

Walking back towards the car, Carol picks up Daryl’s bike, turning it in the direction you all were heading in the first place and walks it to the driver window.

“Follow me, there’s a junkyard a couple miles from here. That’s where he said he got the bike.”

“Alright, right behind you.” Remy climbs in the front seat, her mood lightened, knowing that we are one more step closer to finding the man who raised her.

You stop the car a few miles from– what you assume– is the place you need to be. Carol pulls up beside you as you roll your window down.

“I’m gonna ride up on that hill right there– Take a look at the place. Stay here until I come back.”

Around 5 minutes go by, when you see Carol riding the old death machine back towards you. “So?”

“I only saw a few people, but there might be more inside. Let’s walk straight in there– show that we’re friendly.”

“Sounds like a plan.” You start the car up, putting on your best poker face. “I’ll let you do the talking, people seem to trust you more.” You say, teasing Carol at the fact she’s so good at manipulating people..a little more than she should be. She gets the job done so maybe you shouldn’t complain too much.

“Ha-Ha Fine. I’ll do all the work, again.”

“Oh–Whatever”��

You both laugh, and start heading towards the Camp. Carol gets off the bike, while you and Remy get out of the car, staying a few steps behind Carol and ready to move if need be. Her hands are up, and her steps are slow– an “I’m Friendly, Don’t Shoot” gesture. Clearing her throat she starts–

“Ahem…Hello..” The 3 men startle, spinning around and stopping what they’re doing to find out where the new voice is coming from. You notice a familiar crossbow in the hands of an unfamiliar man. He sets the bow down on one of the cars hood and picks up a new tire– walking away from the weapon. It felt like seconds..Carol attacking them after the man walked away. Before you knew it Carol had Daryl’s crossbow back, one of his arrows in someone's foot, and new information.

You decided to leave your old car back there, running low on gas and starting to overheat. You’d gotten lucky to make it that far. Carol decided to take the Mercedes Benz SLS one of the guys had just finished working on, the same guy who had Daryl’s bow.

“Sucks, we had to leave his bike back there…” Remy murmured, her voice back to being soft and small, her lower lip slightly jutted out. She’s always had a problem with letting thing’s go– worthless or not, everything means something to her. 

The Boatyard was a waste of time. A couple beached, useless, boats aren’t going to help you in your search for Daryl, especially in getting to Europe somehow. You can tell Carol is getting more and more frustrated by the minute. Everytime you think you’re finally getting somewhere– it’s another dead end.

Getting back on the road with no destination– again– had tensions rising.

Carol was quiet, Remy was jotting down everything we had learned in her old tattered notebook. She’d been writing more, sometimes drawing, You’ve gotten a few peeks here and there when she falls asleep re-reading everything. 

“-ey..Helloo? Earth to Y/N.” 

“Yeah? Sorry..lost in thought… Did you need something?” You noticed the pair of square sunglasses Carol found in the car, they look good on her.

“Just wanted to see if they had anything good in that glove box, the silence is making me itchy” Opening the glove box, you find a couple audio cassettes inside, different rock bands, pop, etc. You grabbed a random tape and handed it to Carol, still looking at all the other ones. Some lady with a high pitched voice starts singing. Obviously Carol is not into it and throws it out the window.

Another tape. An up-beat instrumental, again not a fan.

A third tape. You should’ve been carefully reading the names on the cassettes before giving them to her, but honestly, finding the right song wasn’t important right now. It’s a meditation audio, she hates it. Almost breaks the radio trying to get it out. With no luck, she decides to try and follow the instructions coming from the tape..taking a deep breath in..and then–screaming in frustration.

Kinda awkward but you understand, Remy decides to lay down in the back seat, trusting Carol enough to take her seatbelt off for the first time while the vehicle is still in motion. Carol hears a strange whirring noise, like a plane or a helicopter. She looks through the windshield up at the sky, searching for the object making that noise, not paying attention to the road. You look up right before it happens.

“Carol, Watch out!”  SCREEEEEK!

She swerves off the road, after hitting the walker in your way– crashing into a tall Drive-IN sign.

“AHH! What the hell?!” Remy yelps in confusion, now squished in the floor behind the front seats. “Holy shit..Remy?! Are you okay?” You whip around to check your kid for any injuries– she’s fine– might be a bit sore later but thankfully nothing serious. 

“Fuck..I’m sorry. Are you two okay?” 

“Yeah, we’re good, are you?..”

“Carol, you’re bleeding.” You reach your hand up towards her forehead, there’s a 3-inch gash going from her hairline to right above her right eyebrow. It’s bleeding but not enough to be anything critical; you hope.

“I’ll be fine..Might have a major headache but I’m sure it’s nothing serious..” She takes another look in the sky searching for the plane again.

“What the hell happened? Why weren’t you watching the road?” You’re a little upset at the fact she put your kid in serious danger.

“I- I saw a plane or.. something above us. If we find it..” Carol looks at you as if she doesn’t need to explain anymore. She doesn’t, it’s like you two are connected telepathically, you get it. Remy’s up and in her seat looking at you two, a lost expression on her face.

“Y’know, It would be nice if you guys would finish your sentences once in a while, then maybe I’d be up to speed.” Carol gets out of the car to assess the damage done, while you turn to explain what you two were thinking. 

“I think the radiator is fucked. We’re gonna be on foot from here.” You and Remy get out of the car, gathering all of your belongings.

“The plane went that way.” Carol points where she last saw the plane heading.

“Okay..Rem, you got your stuff?”

“Yeah..I’m ready.” She confirms after putting her bag strap over her head.

That noise is back..which means the plane is close. All three of you look up in hopes of seeing it. “There..that’s the direction we need to go.” Carol points at the plane again before it disappears behind the tall trees.

“Alright, we should hurry before it gets too dark. I don’t wanna be out here on unfamiliar grounds with the dead walking.”

You couldn’t make it before dark but it was better than nothing. After a few hours of walking, you three come across a tall metal fence– not knowing if it was electric you ask Remy to keep back a little. Carol moves forward to scope the place out, once she knows it’s relatively safe she gives you two the signal to follow her.

There’s a large trap on the right side of the metal gate, the gate looks stable..and powered, a good thing that whoever lives here has power, a bad thing at the thought of what they had to do to keep this place secure. Carol motions for you to get under the large trap, stepping over the previous attempting the same. Remy’s the smallest out of all of you; no one would expect her to be able to lift something that heavy. 

“Okay, Rem get over here and pretend to get us out. Me and your Mom are gonna try and get this guy's attention.”

“Just follow what he says and we’ll be okay.” You reach your hand out through the gaps of the bars to caress her cheek.

“Yeah.. I got it.” She slightly smiles at you, reassuring you she’ll be fine.

“You ready?” 

“Always.” You put your arm back into the bars and position it to look lodged under the rusted metal prongs, Carol does the same.

“HELP!..SOMEBODY HELP!” You two shout loud enough to attract the man.

He comes up from behind the cliff, pointing a light–and gun– at you three. “Quiet! You’re gonna draw them..”  Carol explains what happened to our car, striking a deal with the man, spewing a bunch of bullshit like “Relying on the kindness of strangers”. 

“Is it just you three?” Carol nods. “You swear?” 

“Please..We won’t cause you any problems, I promise.” Remy being here made it a little easier for his guard to be let down; Him realizing she’s just a teenager.

“I’ll get you all fixed up..then you leave.” He opens the gate with some kind of remote. “One false move and I’ll shoot you.”

You and Remy are standing in the open barn waiting for Carol to finish cleaning up. Ash, the man who is helping you three, is standing right outside, gun in hand– waiting to shoot if need be. The power goes out unexpectedly, Carol stops what she’s doing and slowly looks over to Ash. 

“What’s that?” He looks a little impatient and sighs. “Problems with my generator..happens from time to time.” 

He walks away to go and fix the problem, trusting you three a tiny bit more, enough to leave you unguarded. Carol follows him out, still dabbing her forehead with the damp towel. Ash flips some switch on the generator and the power comes back on– a temporary fix.

“Have you ever hit a walker with your car?” Carol questions, trying to get him to open up a little. “No..” He gives a short response, obviously not wanting to engage in small talk with a stranger he just met, creeping around his walls.

“Hm.. You're lucky, I think I smashed the radiator”  He shoulders his gun, not thinking of you all to be too big of a threat.

 “You can spend the night here if you want..”

“Really?” Remy gives him a hopeful smile, excited to be sleeping within walls again. 

“Yeah. C'mon you three can stay out here in the barn” He leads You, Carol, and Remy out to a quaint, small barn, a little ways from what you assume is his house. Remy walks in first checking the place out, she thinks it's kinda ugly, considering her face is slightly scrunched. You go to walk in after her but realize Carol isn’t following you two. It’s like she’s frozen in time, somewhat shaking, as she starts to tear up.

Ash walks towards her slowly, gently grabbing her arm before you can, snapping her out of whatever trance she was in.

“Hey..You okay?” She looks at you with a dazed expression, blinking away her tears and pulling herself together. “Fine...C’mon let’s get inside.” Ash shuts the barn door behind him, turning the main lights on. You see Remy standing in front of– what you assume– is the plane you all saw earlier. Carol walks up behind her, rubbing her shoulder.

“Alright, you can sleep in there” Ash states, turning on the lights of your room for the night.

“You fly that thing?” He looks at the plane, longingly, as if he misses it.

“The noise attracts the dead but it's worth it, just to get up above everything for a while everyday” Remy looks at him with a genuine smile on her face. “It’s pretty cool, I’ve always wanted to fly in a plane.” He gently smiles back at her.

“Alright.. There you go”. He gestures towards the room, clearly wanting to get this awkward moment over with. You, Carol, and Remy make your way into the small room, getting as comfortable as you can. There's a few heavy blankets in the room as well so, at least you’ll be warm for the night.

“Thank you..for everything.” You turn to give him a lighthearted smile, keeping up this facade. Ash shuts and locks the door behind him, finally you and Carol have a moment to come up with another plan. You need to get him on your side somehow, he knows how to operate a plane, he's useful.

Remy is already dead-asleep, she’s always been a heavy sleeper. Something that will get you killed if you’re not careful but she knows she’s safe, especially with you and Carol.

“So..What are you thinking?” You and Carol sit down on the floor next to Remy, speaking in your normal tones, knowing she wouldn’t wake up if a tornado came through.

“I’m not entirely sure..We need to find out more about him. Somehow we need to stay longer, do some digging.”

“Alright..we can think about it more tomorrow, I don’t know about you but those blankets look really good right now.” Carol smirks at you, but not without looking at the make-shift bed herself. It does look very comfy.

“Goodnight Y/N.” She moves to get under the blankets, and get in her signature sleep postion, you do the same.

“Night Carol..” 

You can’t sleep, your mind is racing at the thought that Ash can help you find Daryl, and what you could do to get him on board with flying to Europe. You can’t stop thinking about all the negatives and everything that could go wrong while doing this, the plane won’t make it without a couple stops along the way–who knows what you’ll run into during them–, you could hit a bad storm and die in that death trap, you’d be putting your daughter at even more risk; flying into the unknown.

Is it worth it?.. Of course it is, it’s Daryl. You’ve made it this far you can’t give up now. You could never give up on Daryl, he’s done too much for you..for Remy. He’s family, you’d do anything for family–that’s what you thought when he first started going back outside the walls, looking for Rick after 10 years. Honestly It’d be a miracle if Rick was still alive but you didn’t have the heart to tell him that. Why would he not come back if he was still living, he knows where Alexandria is..Hilltop...

It feels like a long shot but if that’s what Daryl had to do to sleep at night, who were you to tell him no? You two made a deal, He would search for a little, but no more than a couple weeks at a time. That way he could still have a little peace in his life knowing that he’s trying but also spending time with his family, watching his kids grow.

The first fight you and Daryl had about the entire situation was stupid, the only reason it happened was because you were frustrated that you barely saw him anymore, that Remy barely saw him anymore. Daryl was frustrated because he felt like you didn’t want him looking anymore, that he should just give up, pretend like Rick never existed and move on with his life.

 You made up barely an hour later, both realizing you shouldn’t be arguing at a time like this. Tensions were high and it was a spur-of-the-moment argument. Your brain is getting foggy now, thinking of memories with Daryl made your mind calm. You’re falling asleep, now less anxious than you were when you first laid down, eager to wake up tomorrow and continue your search.

Hope you enjoyed! Like I said I spent alot of time on this so super excited!! Chapter 2 coming soon!! 💚💚

(also if you would like to see Remy’s design I had in mind dm me!!!)

Translations:

"Je t'aime de tout mon cœur." -- I love you with all my heart.

[ear-worthy]

The Immunology In Africa Podcast: Science in The Pursuit Of Health

Podcasting has long tendrils that can wrap itself around topics, events, issues, and questions that evade other format -- TV, film, radio, even books -- because the target audience either large enough or considered significant to cover.

How about immunology on the African continent?

Welath Okrete has taken on that challenge. The Immunology in Africa Podcast focuses on science communication in immunology & related research — spotlighting Africa & amplifying African stories.

By amplifying the stories, struggles, and successes of Africans researching the immune system, ImmunoAfrica creates a platform for scientists, up-and-coming researchers, and members of the public to explore the immune system collectively.

In a recent article on Medium, Okrete wrote: "I embraced the idea to launch a podcast in 2021 out of sheer curiosity. I wanted to learn about African immunology — about local African scientists and their contributions to the rapidly evolving global field of immunology. However, I didn’t want to do so by just reading long, complex journal articles. While I felt it’d be super cool to directly hear these scientists talk about their work, I couldn’t find any audio platform to tune in to. Podcasting had become a thing then, so I thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea to start one — but I wasn’t particularly excited about doing so. Here’s why."

Wealth Okrete has a bachelor's degree in Biochemistry from the University of Benin, Nigeria, where, he shares, "my interest in immunology, infectious diseases, and vaccines first ignited."

Okrete continues: "I got into science communication as a writer, mainly because I considered writing a convenient route to expressing my ideas. Podcasting, however, was inconvenient — it would entail forcing myself out of my little, cozy shell into a larger, unfamiliar sphere. The challenge it presented was also different — I didn’t think I had what it would take to host an immunology podcast. So, I reached out to Julius Wesche to learn the ropes — and a few weeks later, on January 28, 2022, he would school me on the tools, dos, and don’ts of podcasting."

As of August 1, 2024, the podcast is two years old.

Okrete comments: "Over this time frame, I have been awed by the invaluable contributions of African immunologists to making the continent and the world a healthier place. I have spoken with professors, postdocs, and PhD students, exploring topics from how HIV/ART (antiretroviral therapy) disrupts immune function in infants born to women living with HIV to why Africans tend to generate weaker immune responses to routine vaccines. Guests on the podcast have shared insights into a wide range of diseases, including neurocysticercosis, tuberculosis, cancer, Lassa fever, and alpha-gal allergy. And with their help and our team of volunteers, ImmunoAfrica has spread ‘the gospel of African immunology’ across more than 50 countries, in just 2 years.

I started an immunology podcast because I had a keen interest in the field," says Okrete. "That interest, alongside the science communication experience I had gained overtime, became my comfort zone. Even if you don’t fully agree with my idea of a comfort zone, my point is to always think of how the skills, experiences, or networks within your reach can facilitate your flight into new terrains."

For aspirational podcasters, Okrete advises: "Think of how the skills, experiences, or networks within your reach can facilitate your flight into new terrains. Plan and stay organized."

Admittedly, the episodes are scientific in nature, but educational about the efforts made in Africa to combat disease.

For example, in the July 8th show, Dr. Ousmane Traoré is an immunology and parasitology researcher currently working as Laboratory Manager at the Clinical Research Unit of Nanoro (CRUN / URCN) in Burkina Faso. He was a key figure in several malaria vaccine trials, including the phase II and III trials for R21/Matrix-M and the phase II trial for RH5/Matrix-M.

On the December 2023 episode, Kumba Seddu, who started her PhD journey at Johns Hopkins University, investigates male and female immune differences to viral vaccines and infections. Her research added to the growing evidence that vaccinated females have greater antibody responses than males. This increased vaccine-induced antibody response in females is due to hormonal (estrogen) effects and sex chromosome (XX) effects.

I also recommend listening to Tony Doe's superb Into The Podverse about podcasting in Africa, and the opportunities and challenges on the continent. Tony is a podcasting veteran who is definitely ear worthy for people on all continents.

Get a taste of the podcast via the trailer. As a host, Wealth Okrete is articulate, passionate, and knowledgeable about his topic.

Check out The Immunology in Africa podcast. I know the science may be arcane to many, but the narrative about the Herculean efforts by scientists and others to improve the health of millions of African citizens is a story too positive to pass up.

This review is part of an ongoing series of reviews, recommendations, and essays about Indie podcasters -- their craft, their challenges, and the critical role they play in podcasting. These entrepreneurs display skills as disparate as hosting, sound production, graphic design, scriptwriting, interviewing, marketing genius, and financial watchdog. They are the heart and soul of podcasting.

[based-bobcat]

The Flash

Yup, I got dragged to see this movie. It’s the best comedy of 1994!

-The opening scene was fine, but it set up the rollercoaster of tonal shifts we were about to jump on. I admit I laughed during the baby shower scene. Barry not being able to touch the people he saves seems like a new handwavy addition so they wouldn’t just speed to, say, Russia.

-Affleck in the Batsuit looks like Dark Knight Returns Batman, especially his face. It didn’t look good at all. Another laugh when WW showed up with that epic musical sting out of nowhere.

-There is no fucking way that Iris West would ever interact with Barry after him schizoing in front of her every single second. 

-The time travel itself was pretty cool, until they used CGI akin to Jimmy Neutron to show the ‘waves of time’ or whatever. Also it looked so much like the cosmic treadmill, you might as well have used it. Made totally not stolen from Flash season 3 stand out even more when he pushed Barry off the not!Treadmill.

-Whoever decided to have Ezra Miller play a dual role should be fired, shot and set on fire in that order. Barry Allen is the most annoying character to ‘grace’ the screen since Jar Jar, and no, film,  outright saying Barry is annoying doesn’t help. It just makes it worse.

-Barry and Barry have a scene in which Barry comes to the shocking conclusion that nobody of the League is around to stop Zod... Even though during MoS nobody was active during that time aside from Batman. They retcon Barry into the same trailer scene Bruce was in, which felt like I was finally watching a comic book. Pointless retcons!  That shows that Barry tried to save a kid and a dad, but failed to save the dad. A nice waste of time because you do see them later, they literally suffer the same fate. Even worse, Barry wasn’t even there this time!

-The usual ‘this is how OUR time travel works’ scene was generic, but spaghetti metaphor was at least an interesting take. Also autism be damned, Bruce can cook a good pasta

-While I usually like Michael Keaton, it seemed like he was phoning it in. He said ‘I’m Batman’ like an old person welcoming you to Target. He looks so bored

-In a later scene he says “You wanna get nuts? Let’s go nuts” in the same bored tone, shot the exact same way and the movie gives a pause for fucking applause. Beyond embarrassing. They also had Batman shield others from bullets with his cape like 5 times minimum and every time he made this face.

-Now the 4 people who follow me and read this will say ‘of course you’d say that’, but Supergirl is the only good part in this fucking shitshow. Rushed as hell, yes, but good. She took off because mankind imprisoned her so mankind bad, and immediately went back because Barry saved her in the span of a literal minute. Could’ve been explored better though. One of the Barry acts like a 4 year old could’ve been cut for Kara coming to terms with the fact that Kal-El isnt out there. Or just adjusting to freedom. Instead she immediately fights Zod, because the movie needs to (They do give her a reason, but only after she agreed to help to stop Zod)

-The reason being, yet another fucking retcon, on this Spaghetti strand Kara is the one with the Birthing Matrix, and Zod killed infant Clark to discover this. I genuinely dont get this change. It’d be more interesting if Clark died on arrival and the matrix was destroyed. So Zod is just Terraforming the Earth as a fuck you to Jor-El. 

-Just now realising that Zod came to Earth because Clark/Lois activated a signal, but without Clark how the fuck did he know where Kara even was?

-Final fight scene had tonal whiplash every five fucking seconds, I kind of tuned out until Kara and Bruce died. Barry and Spaghetti-Barry go back in time, it doesn’t work. OG!Barry finally learns the lesson that CW Flash never fucking learned about time travel, but Spaghetti!Barry keeps going until we get a literal crisis on infinite Earths type shit with Earths clashing into each other. To nobody’s surprise, Spaghetti!Barry is not!Savitar. Well to everyone’s surprise probably since I forgot he existed. They have the gall to say Spaghetti!Barry created himself, using OG!Barry as a way to do so.

-This is after an embarrassing amount of ‘REMEMBER THIS’ zooming in on those other Earths, with DC using the corpse of Christopher Reeves as nostalgia bait. Classy. 

-At least Nic Cage got to play Superman, good on him. Sad he still had to fight that giant spider. Telling that they CGI’d Reeve in, but Adam West only gets an audio clip

-A delicious middle finger to CW because the only reference to that we saw was Zoom-as-Jay-Garrick also known as the moment CW Flash went to shit.

-Anyway the movie ends with a woman hugging a bloody, dirty, crying man who is clearly wearing stolen clothes, then crying homeless man proceeds to steal her can of tomatoes. This is played with sad music and slo-mo. I genuinely haven’t laughed that hard in the theater in years.

-The movie ends with George Clooney as Batman, instead of giving me more Sasha Supergirl. Which they should’ve done. With Henry no longer playing Clark, why not give us Supergirl.

Numbers for movies dont mean shit, but this movie is a 3/10 and that generous. I laughed along with the movie the same amount of times I laughed at it, so that is a win? The people I went with could not name a single thing that they liked. Not a single fucking thing. Reportedly Aquaman is going to be worse. I cant wait.

Lets hope James Gunn turns this around. Not holding my breath

[bugbyte]

Ended up awake all night with the bad brains so I started in on a library book about statistics and marketing and so on and eventually put it down. Then I went on to skim social sites for a minute and some graphs popped up for an article and even though I’d only read a little bit I had a moment of like, seeing through the Matrix and going oh. OH. I feel it! I feel the cosmos!

Anyway I am researching for both some ideas I’m curious about and something I want to think/write about and this is not really stuff in my wheelhouse, but it’s interesting all the same.

I’ll talk about it more when I’ve finished it and can either agree or not with the premise.

[ineffable-suffering]

Hmm, I think I watched all of that through a bit of a different lense!

It‘s semi-true that we don‘t have a clear and direct indication of a threat ever being there. There were the extreme sanctions, after all. The Metatron simply shits on the other angels because he’s the one supposedly controlling the Book of Life (making the sanctions his call, so to say). But still, they were a crucial part of the S2 plot.

Apart from that, in my opinion, the threat towards Aziraphale is entirely in the subtext. And not even so much. „Give me coffee or give me death.“ What does the Metatron queue for to then give to Aziraphale? Coffee. Alternative? Death. Simple as that. On the nose, almost. What does he then say to Aziraphale? „Go tell your friend the good news.“ and „How did he take it?“ Heavily implies that there was never a choice but a decision already made. I point all of this and much more out in further detail in my meta on the Final Fifteen. But it‘s a lenghty one so I really get if not everyone wants to do that deep-dive, lol. There‘s also this really good decision matrix meta by @yowlthinks that elaborates why Aziraphale‘s choice was a no-choice after all.

Not-explicitly-shown threat aside: When I personally watched S2, the Final Fifteen threw me off ma-ma-maaassively because to me, personally, Aziraphale at this point in time sincerely saying things to Crowley’s face like „Hell are the bad guys and Heaven is the side of good“ seemed almost OOC for him. I guess character development can be a subjective matter for all viewers, since relating to a character or story is very subjective after all. To me, though, I saw all of the minisodes of S2 as well as the present day story of S2 telling us three things:

1) Aziraphale is an unreliable narrator (which I wrote this three part meta on in which I very closely analysed all the minisodes); ergo: the things we get to see from his conversation with the Metatron might nor have actually happened like this because careful! A character‘s narration of an event is not an author‘s/objective narrator‘s narration of an event (e.g. God in S1)

2) Aziraphale loves Crowley, Crowley loves Aziraphale, Aziraphale knows this and wants to confess to Crowley at/after the Ball and finally be with him (analyzed in further detail here)

3) Aziraphale does not trust or want to go back to Heaven; so much so, in fact, that he ends up protecting his amnesiac ex-boss from Heaven simply because he told him they had threatened him; he lies — again — to the archangels and, in the end, while talking to the Metatron, literally quote un-quote says „But I don‘t want to go back to Heaven.“

He looks scared, nervous and confused during the entire talk with the Metatron and the look on his face upon walking across the street to the bookshop is not one of joy or excitement. He looks worried. And I think we can agree that Michael is way too good of an actor to confuse the Aziraphale expression for happy with this:

I‘m actually not trying to take any blame away from him. I just don’t think that „Aziraphale fucking up“ was the entire point of the story or S2. I agree with Neil: S2 was gentle and romantic. However, it also showed that both Aziraphale and Crowley have very, very big issues with miscommunication. They have spent millennia talking to each other in ways only they could understand (as to not give away their Arrangement.) Purposeful miscommunication, if you will. @ao3cassandraic wrote a fabulous meta on what I loosely referred to as their ‚code’, I highly-highly recommend it to understand better what I mean.

So anyway, Crowley and Aziraphale are just �� phenomenally awful at communicating properly with each other. (Wrote another meta on that. Lord, let me rest.) I think, the point of it all was not for Aziraphale to „fuck up“. I think the point of it is that they need to learn how to talk to each other. Properly. „We‘ve been talking for millions of years“, so yeah, one disastrous 15 minutes under a lot of pressure was never going to fix that. Running away was never going to fix that, either. And, I‘m with you or whomever on that one: Going to Heaven together was not going to fix that either.

The point is whales: They need to learn how to trust each other with each other. How to talk to each other and not past each other. They need to stop making choices for each other that the other one got no say in. They need to stop trying to protect each other by keeping things from each other. (I also point that out in the Jane Austen Ball meta of mine.)

Crowley didn’t tell Aziraphale he was living in his fucking car for four years. Didn’t tell him Shax had replaced him in his job. Aziraphale never asked Crowley why he got so upset about Jim. Never stopped to think why Crowley seemingly didn’t catch up on all his tries to take their relationship to the next level. They haven’t been honest with each other or talked to each other ever since Armegeddon didn‘t happen. And you cannot build a relationship, an us, on that massive mountain of miscommunication.

Not on Earth, not in Heaven and not on Alpha Centauri.

S2 shows us over and over again how they both want the same thing but they keep running in circles because they just won‘t talk about it properly. That‘s why the Final Fifteen are such a disaster. That‘s why it doesn’t work out. Not Aziraphale being absolutely cruel and choosing Heaven over Crowley. But them essentially wanting the exact same thing but not being able to communicate and talk it out properly. Not just in those 15 minutes. But throughout all of the past 4 years they spent in (relative) freedom together. All of their 6000 years together. That‘s the point.

(In my opinion at least. Certainly, I could be way off and you’re absolutely free to not agree with me on any of this! :) Just felt like adding that, haha. I always end my posts so dramatically, phew. Again: I think, at the end of the day we all see things through our own lenses and might interpret a character‘s action or non-action as well as the subtext in different ways. Especially with GO it‘s so tricky because we‘re told Everything is Meant but wheeeellll, where does Everything start and where does it end? What‘s invisible furniture and what‘s simply our imagination and interpretation? It‘s for Neil to know and us to find out in S3. I simply related to both Crowley‘s and Aziraphale‘s POV very very much, both in the Final Fifteen and all of S2 & S1. So, I hope to see them resolve that pesky miscommunication problem in S3. Because that never works out, in any relationship.)

i think it's hard to understand the level of betrayal crowley must have felt, which leads to a lot of assumptions around him easily forgiving aziraphale or not being angry; so let's put ourselves into his position.

imagine: your partner, your best friend, the one person in the world that you love more than anyone else, asks you to change how you look, how you talk, who you are—so you can follow them back to an abusive household that threw you out and told you to never come back.

and they tell you that happy and excited and it's not even a question, it's a "by the way, we're doing that, isn't that great?"

you try to tell them no, it's not, i don't want to go back there, i like who i am now. they hurt me and scarred me for life, and they will do it again.

the person you loves, the person you thought loves you, looks at you and says "but you're bad. don't you want to be good? they can make you good."

come with me, you say. that house doesn't want us, we can have our own, we can build our own home. just the two of us, we don't need them, we're fine the way we are.

"i can change them" they say, as if you didn't try. as if you didn't try to change them first. as if that wasn't the reason they threw you to the wolves.

fuck it, you say. you confess your love anyway because they must know, right? they need to know. "don't leave me" you beg, plead, pray.

"oh," they respond, smiling. "nothing lasts forever."

you try to walk away, they stop you, they make it worse, make it clear they don't understand you like you thought. do they love you or the version of you they created in their head? you can't tell anymore.

"we could have been us," you say. we could have been happy.

you kiss them because you have to, because you will be damned twice over if you lose them without kissing them, because your patience snaps and you think you might die if you don't kiss them right now.

it doesn't change anything. "i forgive you"—for being me? for loving you? for refusing to tear myself apart? for kissing you? it's not like it matters. they're gone. you watch them leave.

would you immediately forgive them if they showed up on your doorstep? or would you be heartbroken and angry? you miss them, you still love them, but FUCK YOU. fuck you for demanding that of me. fuck you for everything you said. FUCK YOU FOR LEAVING.

six thousand years. six thousand years.

it would already be hard to forgive a person you have loved for two years or ten, and it gets worse the longer you know them. six thousand fucking years and aziraphale did that. we know why he did. we know how their story will end, but crowley doesn't.

all crowley has is aziraphale's speech and his face disappearing behind elevator doors. all crowley has is you're the bad guys and come with me and nothing lasts forever and i need you and i forgive you.

love alone does not and cannot fix that. aziraphale took six thousand years of trust and set them on fire with a smile on his face, and i understand the urge to try and find an explanation where he doesn't do that. where everything is secretly fine.

but there isn't.

aziraphale needs to rebuild that trust, he needs to earn it again. and mot importantly, he needs to understand why his words and actions broke it in the first place. but even then—even if crowley is the kindest possible version of himself and aziraphale does everything right—even then crowley would have every single right to say i don't forgive you. i love you and i understand you, we can be together, but i cannot forgive you for that and we both have to live with that now.

they will get their happy ending, i do truly believe that, but it might not be the fairy tale happily ever after you imagine and that's okay. it still counts. it's still good.

let crowley be angry and let them find their way back to each other, even if that path does not include forgiveness.

[mysticpetals]

Farewell, sunshine

𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: Jake × f!mc (Syianne)

𝙂𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚: angst, a sprinkle of fluff

𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 4.9k (oof)

𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: All Jake ever wanted was to find his sister and protect the person who had helped him more than anyone. Only, he slowly began to realise that bringing Syianne into this had caused more harm than good.

𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: mentions of blood, physical attack, violence, hospitals, medical coma, panic attack.

𝙋𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙩𝙨: Anonymous asked: 5. “Wake up! Please wake up.” MC and Jake finally get to meet for the first time, but everything is heavily dipped in angst. 😂 Also I adore your writing and keep up the good work!

Anonymous asked: Can you give us the most angsty jealous filled over protective short with Jake x MC i want all the ANGST to be seeping out of my screen

@mnrangera asked: Here's a nice angsty scenario for you: MC is in Duskwood continuing their investigation but is caught out in town after dark. They are on the phone with Jake when they are attacked by the Man Without a Face like Jessie was.

𝙉𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨: I know this has been LOOOOONG overdue and I apologise for the wait. Thank you to all my followers for being patient, especially those who sent the requests in. I hope the long wait is worth it and you enjoy it. Also, please read the warnings before proceeding, I don't want any of you to be triggered by something I wrote. There may be inaccuracies in how I progressed medical conditions and general working of the hospitals so I apologise for that. Please do not repost or translate this fic anywhere else!! I'm literally begging you, please don't ruin my hard work like this. I would love if I could get some sort of feedback, whether it be reblogs or comments or just anon asks. I've tried to improve my writing and I hope it shows a little in this. This is my Christmas and New Year present all wrapped in one! I hope you all have a great 2021 <3

It was a cold, winter evening with the sky painted in a plethora of warm colors and Jake felt like finally things were going his way.

He, along with Syianne, had been working tirelessly for the past few weeks to find out what happened to Hannah. They had faced a lot of challenges along the way, with cryptic diary entries and threats directed towards them and their loved ones, but still, they'd prevailed and spent every ounce of free time, getting more information about Hannah's perpetrator.

They finally had the facts about what happened the day she was kidnapped and only the identity of the criminal was hidden. Syianne had suggested that she should go to Duskwood to try and find the last puzzle piece, to which Jake had been a little apprehensive. She argued that the rest of the group had already been through enough, with getting stalked and receiving threats and insisted that she should be the one to carry out her search in secret.

She never once asked for him to come along because she knew how dangerous it would be for him and she didn't want him to get caught. Jake was instantly warmed by the thought that someone cared so much about him, to think of his well being first.

So that night, as she called him to update him on her findings and plan after she went to Duskwood, he found himself speaking his thoughts impulsively.

"What if I came too?"

There was silence on the other end and Jake thought he might have overstepped or made it weird but she answered before he could stammer an apology.

"I'd like that. But only if you're comfortable and safe."

She told him to ruminate on it for a while and bid him goodnight. Jake thought about whether it was a logical thing to do. If Syianne planned to go undercover, he couldn't very well let her go into the lion's den alone. So he made up his mind and texted Syianne to let her know.

Jake [10:46 pm]

I'll come to Duskwood too.

Is it okay if we don't meet straight away?

I...I don't think I'm ready yet.

Syianne [10:47 pm]

I was lowkey hoping you'd say that ahaha

And of course! Take as much time as you need :)

That night, he slept with a smile on his face, excitement churning in his stomach.

⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰

Syianne was looking forward to her trip to Duskwood.

She knew it was a potentially dangerous situation and she was only going there to investigate but knowing that Jake might be there too, sent a spark of thrill through her body. They had been speaking non-stop for the past few weeks and she really liked talking to him. His answers to questions about him or his life were adorably confusing and Syianne realized that she really wanted to get to know him, be his friend or possibly something more, if their flirty banter was anything to go by.

Her bag contained all the essentials she could need, along with a sketchbook and pencils to use in case of boredom. She couldn't leave Matrix with any of her friends as they were either busy or allergic to cats so her only option was to take her along.

She had never booked a flight so fast. Knowing she would have to take a car from the airport to the rest of the way to Duskwood did nothing to damper her excitement. She couldn't wait to meet everyone once they found Hannah, some more so than the others.

The trip was nothing eventful, just a lot of travelling and it made Syianne a little tired but the idea of meeting her friends and finally putting a stop to all this madness, made her keep going. She wouldn't admit it if you asked her but she was looking forward to possibly seeing Jake as well. She knew he might not be comfortable enough to meet her yet and she completely respected that, but the thought still lingered.

She checked in to the only hotel Duskwood had, not meeting the receptionist's - Lilly's - eyes and was eternally grateful that she had only leaked her number and not her photo in that video. It would have been much more difficult to move about Duskwood, if that were the case.

The room they had was pretty basic, but not too bad for a few nights. Matrix prowled around the room, getting herself comfortable in the new environment while Syianne slowly unpacked the few clothes and necessities she brought.

In the corner of her mind, there was the thought that Jake might be staying at this hotel too and that sent a shiver of excitement down her spine. But she was a woman of her word and would wait until Jake was ready and would not try to look for him.

She had a mission here and she wanted to be damn sure that that's what she would be focusing on and save Hannah.

⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰

Jake was supposed to be in Duskwood about two nights ago.

He had encountered some issues with removing his tracks from the internet, as well as trying to find a safe way to drive to Duskwood without exposing himself. Working as a hacker did have some benefits and finally he managed to find a guy who made him three fake number plates that he would interchange every once in a while, so his whereabouts couldn't be traced.

He had let Syianne know of the unexpected delay but to his surprise, she was enjoying herself in Duskwood. She had told him that Jessy gave her a virtual tour of the town once and she was excited to explore all those places in person. She talked to him at night, describing the beauty of the small town and Jake felt himself growing wistful, wondering what they could do together if he had been there. But then again, hadn't he said that he wouldn't show himself right now? He was cautious - just as he had been all his life - but something about Syianne just made him want to let his guard down, to just be selfish for once.

He had no time to think further on it because finally, all the preparations and precautionary measures were done and he could drive to Duskwood. He couldn't leave Glitch at home because he had attachment issues and couldn't go without Jake for a long period of time. So he ushered him into his carrier and told him he could claw all the wood he wanted when they reached their destination and Glitch meowed in agreement. He had always been a smart cat, after all.

Changing the number plates every hour was exhausting, especially when he didn't do much manual work but he endured it, if it meant he was one step closer to finding his sister.

When he finally reached Duskwood, he was in awe of how normal it looked, how silent; how someone who didn't know that a girl had been kidnapped would think of this place as the perfect getaway. But he knew better, didn't he? This town held dark secrets, secrets that people weren't willing to acknowledge and he was going to expose them for what they were, no matter what it took.

Signing into the Duskwood hotel was as awkward as he imagined it to be, his half sister having no idea who he was and looking at his dark, baggy clothes suspiciously. He wasn't blaming her, he would have probably done the same if a strange man came out of nowhere to stay in Duskwood of all places. Lilly gave him a tight smile as he picked up his bag and key and made way to his room.

Syianne had texted him earlier that day that she would be checking out the lake in the evening, where Jessy was attacked. Jake was against it from the start but he should have known how stubborn she could be and eventually, he had to agree but only on the condition that she stays on video call with him the whole time. Syianne was evidently bewildered by his request, judging by the way she kept writing and erasing her reply but after a while, she managed to ask if he would be comfortable with that. Jake's heart warmed at her considerate words, never really having anyone who would care about his emotions, he was always surprised when Syianne said something like that. He replied that he would just turn off his camera or point it at the lamp or something but he had to be sure about her safety.

And that's why, he was sitting with his phone in front of him in the evening, camera turned off as he watched her fondly, pointing out the strange birds she saw.

"Ah, I wish you were here! The lake is so pretty this time and the light from sunset is reflecting off the water and it makes an amazing view," she said, voice breathy with the exertion of walking for a while and a tone of awe towards the scene in front of her.

"That's sufficient sightseeing, don't you think?" Her voice suddenly took a serious note and Jake straightened up in his chair. He was afraid but couldn't say anything. He had already agreed to let her go with a condition and he feared if he asked her to not investigate, she would probably end the call and keep looking for clues by herself. At least on the phone, he could look at her surroundings and made sure no one sneaked up on her.

"If you say so," he said half-heartedly, glancing at the surroundings behind her as she narrowed her eyes at his dismissive tone.

The next twenty minutes were spent with Syianne looking around the lake and Jake looking over her shoulder virtually. She had scouted the edge and went a little deeper into the forest, looking for a car, a boat, a mask - anything, really - but the search had proved to be futile so far. Everything was as peaceful as ever, no signs of any disturbance and it made Jake a little antsy. Nothing was ever this perfect.

"Well, since we can't find anything here, I think you should come back. It's getting late," Jake said, looking at the already darkened sky. It was an ominous red color and Jake was getting more and more worried as people left the lakeside.

Syianne frowned but didn't argue and that made him sigh in relief.

"Yeah, you're right. No use trying to find something that isn't there," she said and started walking again.

"Wait, you walked here? Didn't you bring your car?" Jake asked and she shook her head.

"Nope, I wanted to enjoy Duskwood and being in a car wouldn't have helped," she smiled at the camera and Jake let out an almost inaudible sigh. Why couldn't she care about her safety a little more? She was going to give him grey hair before he reached his thirties, that was for sure.

As he began to reply to her, he caught movement from the left side of the screen and instantly grabbed his phone, expanding the background.

There was a silhouette of a hand.

"Syianne, run!" He shouted, as the figure's arm came into view and she looked back in surprise before starting to sprint, the camera shaking from her movements.

Jake scrambled to get his car keys, not bothering with what he was wearing and ran towards the hotel parking, getting into his car and connecting the GPS to his phone, all the while listening to Syianne's panting breaths as she ran away from the man without a face.

Getting her location was no problem for him and he just hoped he would arrive there on time.

"Jake, I'm scared. I'm hiding behind a big building and I think he went on ahead," she whispered, voice shaky and trembling and Jake's hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as he glanced over at his phone to watch her looking around herself in a panic.

Five more minutes and he would reach her location. Jake had never been more thankful that Duskwood was a small town and the hotel wasn't so far away from the lake.

"I'm coming, Syianne. Just a little while more and we'll go back together."

"Okay, I think I'm safe for now," she said. There was a sound of slow careful footsteps as Syianne came out from behind the building.

The abrupt sound of a gasp almost made him lose control of the steering wheel and he increased his speed as he heard what sounded like a scuffle. Syianne had probably dropped her phone because it only showed the dark sky and sounds of her struggling against her attacker.

"No! Let–"

Jake let out a harsh breath, jaw tightening as he heard Syianne's scream. He drove straight for a bit and turned the next corner and saw the man trying once again to restrain her. His eyes saw red and he honked and honked like it was nobody's business, speeding towards them.

The man without a face seemed to have realised that someone was coming to help as he pushed Syianne roughly into the wall and ran away towards the forest. As much as Jake wanted to go after him, Syianne was his first priority and he quickly got out of the car, dashing towards her crumpled form, lying on the ground.

He fumbled with his phone, calling the local police and asking for an ambulance, his body shaking all the while, as he knelt down next to Syianne.

He felt tears welling in her eyes as he looked at her battered form and realised that she was bleeding.

"Syianne?" He spoke in a scared voice.

"Syianne!" He said more forcefully, repeatedly patting her face in hope she'll look at him but her eyes were still glassy and unfocused as if she couldn't comprehend anything.

"I'm...so sorry. I…" her voice trailed off as she struggled to breathe and Jake cried, seeing her in so much pain, when he couldn't do anything except wait for the ambulance to arrive.

After a moment, Syianne's eyes fluttered closed and Jake's panic rose to new heights.

"No, no, no! Wake up! Please wake up!" He shouted and begged but she didn't respond to his calls.

His hand was soaked in her blood from where he was applying pressure on the wound at her side. The blood hadn't stopped flowing and Jake was worried that she was losing too much, too soon.

"What do I do? What do I do?" He muttered to himself, adrenaline coursing through his veins, with only one thought in his head – to save her.

He heard sirens in the distance and was relieved to know that help was coming. He pushed up the fallen hood of his jacket up on his head and looked at Syianne for any signs of consciousness. Her breaths were shallow and eyes still closed.

Soon enough, paramedics rushed to the scene and immediately started tending to Syianne's wounds. Jake felt as if he was just a spectator, not being able to do anything but watch. Someone came up to him and started asking him questions, about how he found her, who he was to her and if he knew anything about the attack. He answered all the questions as carefully as he could, giving a fake name, because he still wasn't sure if the police department was in league with the kidnapper or not.

As soon as he was done with the questioning, a paramedic approached him, letting him know that they were taking Syianne to the hospital and he would have to come there for a bit of paperwork. Jake hesitated and said he'd drive there in his own car and the paramedic nodded in response and left.

He got in his car and put his head in his hands, shaking at the unfortunate turn of events. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Syianne was just going to check out the lake and then surprise her friends the next day by telling them she'd be here for a few days and enjoy Duskwood together.

Jake was even thinking of meeting her in person and telling her that she had changed his life for the better. But his cowardice, his meticulous nature to not let anyone know who he was or where he was might have cost Syianne her life tonight. Even thinking about it had tears pooling in his eyes and he took a deep breath to bite back the sobs that were threatening to break once again.

He felt guilty, so so guilty and couldn't bring himself to start the car. He was pretty sure that if – no when – Syianne woke up, she would want nothing to do with the man who put her life in danger. With that thought rooted in his mind, he opened his phone and with trembling hands, sent Jessy a text about Syianne's accident. He received a reply almost immediately.

Jessy [8:46 pm]

What?

How did she come here?

You know what? If she's not okay, I'm going to hunt you down and make you pay.

Jake had no trouble believing she was telling the truth. All he wanted to do was help and now everything was falling apart. Taking a deep but shaky breath, he started the car but instead of going to the hospital, he turned towards the hotel.

⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰

Jessy had no trouble believing that the hacker was telling the truth. His texts were frantic and he practically begged her to go to the hospital to see Syianne. She had no idea how she got here, but hearing that she got attacked, just like she was, was enough to make her worry and drive to the hospital, after letting Cleo know. She figured that the rest of them deserved to know too.

She rushed to the front desk, breathless and worried, and one of the nurses told Jessy that the doctors were with Syianne and she'd have to wait until they were done to know how she was.

After some time of relentless pacing, Cleo arrived and Jessy filled her in on everything that the hacker told her, which wasn't much, but it gave them a good idea of what had happened. Cleo said that she hadn't told anyone else yet and that they should do so as soon as the doctors had an update on Syianne's condition.

About an hour later, a nurse came upto Jessy and Cleo, asking if they knew Syianne and upon their confirmation, led them to the room she was kept in. They weren't allowed to enter yet as the doctors were still in the room, but Jessy gasped when she saw Syianne's scratched up face, with bandages covering her head.

"Oh my gosh." Cleo breathed and Jessy felt a rush of sorrow as she averted her eyes.

The doctors after completing their examination, told them that Syianne was stabbed in the side but luckily it didn't puncture anything important and they closed up the wound to allow it to heal. What was more concerning, was the fact that she was hit on the back of her head.

"She most likely suffered from a concussion, in which case, it is of the utmost importance that the patient doesn't fall asleep," the doctor said and Jessy and Cleo looked at each other uneasily.

"But Syianne fell asleep…" Jessy began and the doctor gave her an apologetic smile.

"That's right. She was unconscious when she was brought here. The superficial wounds are taken care of, we just don't know when she'll wake up."

Both of them were too stunned to say anything and a call for the doctor from one of the nurses broke them out of their stupor.

"So, she's in a coma?" Cleo asked.

The doctor hesitated before answering.

"Essentially, yes. But we can't know for sure without further observation. If the injury isn't severe she'll wake up soon, we just have to monitor her constantly and look for any changes." He then walked off when his pager went off, most likely to see another patient.

"Don't worry, Jessy. She'll wake up soon," Cleo said, placing a hand on her shoulder, as they looked into Syianne's room, seeing her sleeping peacefully, as if nothing was wrong and she was just taking a nap.

⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰

As soon as she got home from the hospital, Jessy sent out a row of furious texts to the hacker, clouded by her anger and hopelessness. In her head, it was all his fault that Syianne was twittering between life and death. He was the one who asked her to come to Duskwood without letting any of them know, which caused her to be in such a terrible condition.

Everything was crumbling.

They were a tight knit group, always there for each other but when did it turn into a nightmare, Jessy didn't know. Emotion overtook her and she suddenly collapsed against the wall, keeping a hand on her mouth to muffle her sobs, and cried.

She cried for Hannah, who she had no idea whether she was alive or not. She cried for Syianne, who had become such a great friend to her. Most importantly, she cried for her relationship with everyone, that was slowly but surely, withering away.

⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰

Jake had been pacing in his hotel room ever since getting back, waiting on a word from Jessy. Glitch watched him with big eyes, as he stubbed his on the bedside and cursed. Sighing in defeat, Jake realised that it won't do any good to worry himself to death, but that didn't mean that his mind didn't drift off to the earlier scene.

Syianne lying on the ground. Blood pooled around her.

He shook his head in frustration, trying to get that image out of his head but to no success. Glitch, sensing that something was wrong, strolled towards him, rubbing and purring against his legs. Jake softened at seeing his efforts to calm him and he picked Glitch up, moving to lay down on the bed. He petted him, smiling at the way the cat burrowed himself further against Jake, curling his tail around his wrist.

After a few peaceful moments of cuddling, Jake's phone lit up with a text, which had him scrambling to grab it from the bedside. Glitch meowed in protest but Jake was too wound up to notice.

Jessy [10:25 pm]

She's in a coma

They don't know when she'll wake up

Jake felt all breath leave him as he read Jessy's text. He didn't know what to think, what to do, what he could do. Jessy didn't give him a chance to respond.

Jessy [10:26 pm]

Don't contact any of us ever again

I don't want to find Hannah this way…which leads to everyone else getting hurt

Please leave Syianne out of this

Saying her mind, Jessy went offline again. Jake took a shaky breath, trying to ground himself. Syianne might never make up.

No, he told himself.

He couldn't think like that. He knew she'd wake up, it might take a little time but she will. Because if she didn't, Jake wouldn't be able to live with himself.

He got another text from Lilly, saying she was sorry that it happened but he couldn't bring himself to write back. His mind was empty, body numb to everything around him and he was cursing himself for being so careless.

If he hadn't been so selfish, if only he didn't put all of this on her, if he had just reached on time, if, if, if.

That's all he thought of, as tears continuously trailed down his cheeks, an arm covering his eyes, the only thing on his mind being Syianne, just as it had been ever since he started talking to her.

⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰

The next day, Jake found himself holding a large flower bouquet and walking to Duskwood hospital's reception. He was trembling, scared out of his mind but he just had to see Syianne. So, he had braved his anxiety and was now standing in front of the receptionist, who looked at the abnormally large bouquet in his hands and raised an eyebrow. He cleared his throat.

"I'm here to see Syianne King, she was admitted here yesterday."

The receptionist's gaze sharpened as she looked him over and he partially hid behind the flowers.

"Only family members are allowed to visit," she spoke slowly and Jake bit his lip in frustration.

"I'm her fiance," he said and before the surprised receptionist could say anything, he continued, "I drove here as soon as I got the call but they wouldn't tell me what happened. Only that Syianne had been in an accident and I needed to get here as soon as I could and I—" he cut himself off, shuffling nervously and wiping away the tears that had managed to escape from his eyes.

The receptionist softened, seeing his genuine sorrow and care for his fiance and warmed her voice.

"Of course, I'm sorry for what happened. She's in room 309, third floor. The elevator is down the hall," she pointed and Jake thanked her profusely before walking ahead.

Him being Syianne's fiance might have been fake but everything he had felt was the truth and he felt overwhelmed now that he was here. Should he see her? Did he even deserve to see her after he put her in danger? Thoughts like this plagued his mind all the way to Syianne's room and they only stopped when he saw '309' written in bold letters on a grey coloured door.

His breath stuttered in his chest. He was second guessing his presence in the hospital, thinking whether he shouldn't have come. He stood in front of the door for about ten minutes, contemplating but when the nurses started giving him suspicious looks, he swallowed thickly and with shaky hands, opened the door.

Nothing could have prepared him for the utter despair and helplessness he felt, as he saw Syianne's motionless form on the bed, breathing as if she was just sleeping and would wake up any minute. But he knew that wasn't the truth.

She was here and it was his fault.

For the longest time, he just sat on a chair beside her bed and just looked at her. His eyes traced every injury, every bruise that was visible and he felt sick, blaming himself for letting it happen. She was still sleeping and suddenly, it just got too much.

There was too much light, too much beeping, the walls were too white, the flowers in his hands digging into his skin and he got up hastily, dropping the bouquet and backed into the furthest corner of the room.

His breath was coming in short bursts, it hurt to breath, to think, to stay upright—!

His legs gave from under him and he slid down, back against the wall, shaking hands coming up to wipe the wetness on his face.

He didn't even realise he had been crying.

His vision was a blur of dark shapes and in a distinct corner of his head that was still sane, he thought of what Syianne would have done had she been awake. He was sure she would kneel down in front of him and take his hands, running her thumbs against the back of his hands to calm him.

'Breathe slowly, Jake. Deep breaths with me, come on,' he heard her in his head and tried to slow down, breathing harshly at first but after a few minutes, his vision cleared and his breathing stabled to an acceptable rate.

His whole body shook with the sheer suddenness of the panic attack and he slowly tried to get up, holding onto the wall as a support as his gaze, once again, landed on the bed and it's occupant.

All at once, his head cleared and he knew what to do.

Snatching a sheet of paper from the notepad lying near her chart, Jake penned his thoughts, all his anguish, and his apologies on it. Not once did his hand shake as he wrote the note and not once did his mind waver from the decision he had made. At last, when he had said everything he wanted to, he put the pen down and glanced at Syianne's peaceful face.

His throat closed up but he swallowed once to make sure he didn't cry. No, Jake had no time for tears. It was his fault that this happened in the first place, so it was his responsibility that he would make it right.

He didn't know when she would wake but whenever it might be, Jake had everything he wanted to say, already written for her.

He bent down towards her and placed the softest of kisses against her forehead, knowing that it would be the only time he would ever get to do it.

She did not open her eyes and Jake stepped back with a miniscule tilt of his lips.

Yes, he would make everything right.

[shiftings]

shifting 101

If you’re new to shifting and want to know more about it, worry not, this post is here to help.

What is shifting?

In simple words, shifting is moving from one reality to another. It sounds like something out of "The Matrix" but actually you've been shifting your entire life, you even did it when you decided to read this post. In another reality you're probably not reading this post. The shifting we're talking about is moving your consciousness into another reality where you already exist. There is a really really large number of realities for every possibility so if you can imagine it, it probably exists in a different reality. That means you can shift to movies, books or anime worlds. You can even “create” a reality, though it already exists. 

Current reality (cr) and desired reality (dr)

The first is the reality you’re in right now. The second, a desired reality, is a reality you want to shift to. It can be similar to this reality or completely different, that’s up to you. You can also shift to more than one desired reality, you can have as many as you want as long as you can keep track of them.

Scripting

Usually shifters use something called a script. It’s basically a description of your desired reality, your desired self etc. It can be as long or as short as you like it. Scripts can also include photos, videos, audios etc. Where or how you make your script doesn’t matter. Scripting isn’t always necessary, but it’s better to write down some things to enhance the experience. I’ll make a separate detailed post about scripting.

Safety (TW mention of d*ath)

Shifting is safe.You don’t die in this reality when you shift. You don’t go into coma or anything like that. But because your desired reality is a real place, you can still get hurt or even die. If you do die you will simply return back to your current reality. You won’t actually die here too. However you can always script so it doesn’t happen in your dr either, because who would want to go through that, right?

Is shifting wrong?

Shifting is not wrong. You’re not cheating life or doing anything bad. Remember, we have done this every day of our lives. Some people say it’s against religion, but that depends on how you view it. I can’t speak up about other people and their beliefs, but many people agree that shifting is not bad. 

Is shifting real?

Yes, a hundred percent. You’re not lucid dreaming, you’re actually moving to a different reality. Everything is real and feels so. The people are also real and have their own consciousness, so don’t treat them like puppets. They’re just as real as us.

How to shift

To shift all you need is your mind and belief. If you believe you can do it naturally just like breathing, then you can. There are many methods people use which help them shift. Subliminals, frequencies, visualization etc also help. But in the end, your mind has all the power. Remember, everyone has the ability to shift!

How long it takes to shift

This is different for everyone. Some people have shifted on their first few times, for others it has taken longer. Like I said, everyone has the ability to shift, and if you believe you can, you could shift right now. Sometimes it takes longer for people because they still have doubts or maybe they don’t feel ready. If it takes you some time, don’t feel discouraged. You could shift anytime.

Misinformation

Recently shifting became really popular and misinformation began to spread. There has also been a lot of negativity, either from non-believers, or people who are trying to gatekeep. Shifting is real and there’s even documents that back it up (I might make a post on the explanation behind shifting). It’s best if you stay away from these negative comments because they could affect your process by making you doubt shifting. Some have even spread wrong information on shifting. It’s sad to see that it’s usually shifters themselves who do it to scare new shifters off. 

Also, don’t think of shifting as only “Gen Z trying to get railed by fictional characters”. I mean there’s nothing bad about wanting to get railed by Draco, but shifting has been around for a lot longer and i’m sure it’s also been a practice ammong witches. Many people generalize shifting or don’t take it seriously. Some people shift for their comfort characters, some for the experience, they’re all valid reasons!

...

I hope this introduction to shifting was helpful! I will try to spread only correct information here. I’m always open to suggestions and corrections.

Happy shifting!

[adhoption]

Listen, we can all agree that the film industry is a mess. 

Original scripts are few and far between, as cinema screens are increasingly taken up by regurgitated IP from studios terrified of taking any risks, leading to a succession of boring family friendly blockbuster plot-for-plot remakes of popular films from forty years ago with all the edges and character shaved off and shameless echoes of the original in their place until the franchise is beaten to death and even the name doesn’t attract anyone so they move on to digging up the next sleeping corpse.

Nobody asked for live action remakes of every animated Disney film or sequels four and five to every trilogy which had been happily resting for years, endless repetitions of horror formats or a quick sequel to cash in on a one-off hit which had no more story to tell. This year we’ve been treated to Space Jam 2, Fast and Furious 9, The Boss Baby 2, The Purge 5, Cruella, Cinderella, Peter Rabbit 2, The Conjuring 8, the Hitman’s Bodyguard 2, Coming to America 2, the umpteenth Godzilla/King Kong film and a third SpongeBob movie.

In the next few months we’ll be subjected to the Matrix 4, Ghostbusters 4 (a second attempt at bringing it back), Paranormal Activity 7 (a reboot), Resident Evil 7 (a reboot, given the last film was subtitled The Final Chapter), Halloween 12, a second Dune film, the twentieth filmed version of Macbeth, a second film version of West Side Story (itself an adaptation of Romeo and Juliet)

Next year we’re getting Scream 5, Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Fantastic Beasts 3, Downton Abbey 2, Legally Blonde 3, Top Gun 2, John Wick 4, Jurassic World 3 (Jurassic Park 6), Transformers 7, Minions 2 (Despicable Me 5), a Buzz Lightyear spin-off (Toy Story 5), Indiana Jones 5, Puss in Boots 2 (Shrek 6), Mission Impossible 7, Creed 3 (Rocky 9), Avatar 2 as well as the dreaded Mario film, a third adaptation of Death on the Nile and another Batman reboot.

That’s on top of a bunch of other adaptations of popular books and video games and TV shows, mining that intellectual property to attract viewers rather than focusing on telling a compelling story and doing it well. But this is the norm now. Last year the highest grossing non-superhero films were Bad Boys 3, Sonic the Hedgehog and a Dr Dolittle reboot. The year before that it was the Lion King remake, Star Wars 9, Frozen 2, Toy Story 4, the Aladdin remake, and the sequel to the Jumanji reboot. The year before that it was the Incredibles 2, Jurassic World 2, Mission Impossible 6 and a third Grinch film.

There are too many high numbers there. Some of these films are good. A large proportion of them aren’t. But they will keep being made, because they’re seen as a safe bet to sell tickets to fans of the originals, even if they leave disappointed, compared to taking a gamble on a new idea. This is the majority of big and medium budget films being made today. 

Given the resources, studios will simply choose to make another Alien or Terminator or Indiana Jones or Pirates of the Caribbean or Ice Age or Karate Kid or Die Hard or Gremlins or Beverly Hills Cop or Rambo or Lethal Weapon or Rush Hour or Men in Black or The Mummy or Independence Day or Predator or Home Alone. You can just go through a list of top grossing films in the 1970s, 1980s, 1990s and they all have either a recent sequel/reboot or one in development, rather than trying to make the next big hit to later cannibalise in 2050. It’s unsustainable.

Given all that, it is utterly bizarre that everyone comes so hard for the MCU. Denis Villeneuve recently made headlines for giving the following answer in an interview:

Perhaps the problem is that we are in front of too many Marvel movies that are nothing more than a ‘cut and paste’ of others. Perhaps these types of movies have turned us into zombies a bit… But big and expensive movies of great value, there are many today. I don’t feel capable of being pessimistic at all.

Looking at that film schedule, how are the Marvel films which have come out in this time the ones that stand out as being ‘cut and paste’? How can you say that there are many films of great value in these lists, when the Marvel offerings trump almost all of these tired rehashings for originality and quality? Villeneuve is the director behind the second attempt to adapt Dune since 1984′s film of the same name, with his previous film being a sequel to 1982′s Blade Runner. I enjoy his direction, but is he really the guy to preach originality?

This follows the infamous Scorsese interview, in which he rightly targeted this trend of franchise films in general, but unfortunately honed in on Marvel films. Why should they be singled out as ‘not cinema’? Scorsese’s most recent film was a Netflix drama about Irish- and Italian-American mobsters starring Robert De Niro, Al Pacino and Joe Pesci. Is that originality speaking, or is that not cashing in on their own brands, just as other studios are doing with theirs?

What strikes me is that these people don’t come out against the twenty-seventh James Bond film being released this month. They aren’t angry that Doctor Who just announced a change to its showrunner. They don’t attack Disney for making yet another princess origin story. Even series like the Fast and Furious and Mission Impossible seem to be allowed to go on forever with their blockbuster formula. Why can Marvel not make relatively light entertainment that follows some familiar plot beats?

They’re part of the rule, not an exception to it. If anything, they’re better than the vast majority of the above. Even within their genre, just look at the efforts of Sony and Fox and DC/Warner Brothers. Did we need the Spider-Man and Fantastic 4 sequels and reboots? What about the confusing web of X-Men prequels and spin-offs which lost all internal consistency? We’ve had three Batmen and Jokers in a decade, and the DCEU is clearly being made up as they go along.

Then there’s the rest... most of these films don’t even try to be anything good. They have the rights to Hit Film series from a few decades back, so decide to make Hit Film 4, in which they will invariably try to follow the same plot as the first film, undo its conclusion and bring back the retired main character for fanservice, rather than trying to do something interesting and fresh within the limitless horizons of its world. If a fifth film is made it might well try to do the same again and invalidate the fourth film in the process, or just reboot the series with another copy of the original.

They don’t end up flowing as a series, the later films just feel like an appendage on the end, and nobody likes them. Compare that to the MCU, where there are fluent overarching plots carried over multiple films, where at any one time the studio are looking years into the future and building up to justify telling the stories they want to explore, where the main bankable stars have been killed off and replaced with unknowns, where the latest films introduce new worlds and characters rather than rummaging through the leavings of their forebears, where the franchise is constantly mixing things up in terms of the story and cast to keep things fresh.

We’re not watching Iron Man 12, where an ageing Robert Downey Jr fights a new villain-of-the-week each time because it worked as a format before, knowing he can never be killed off, and the success of the first Iron Man film is further exploited with a prequel for his father and a spin-off for another minor character, because rather than introducing new stories it’s easier to mine the life out of what’s already there, expanding every minor detail of the story until nothing is left to the imagination.

Instead, we’re watching Shang-Chi and Wandavision and Loki, fresh characters and settings, original creative ways to tell as story, new plots which break the series wide open and change everything. We’ve said goodbye to Downey Jr and Chris Evans and Scarlett Johansson, goodbye to the Avengers dynamic, goodbye to the Infinity Stones arc, and are thrust straight into a chaotic multiverse story with new stars and minor comic characters taking centre stage. 

They know their brand name will attract viewers whatever the story, and so they’re mixing things up and taking things in new directions which are both unexpected and well planned out in advance. If only Star Wars and all those other franchises had been so bold! It’s the opposite of what a lot of them do, and an example that most of them could learn from, so it feels ridiculous that they are held up as the example to be criticised.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #239: Late Night of the Super-Stars!

January, 1984

1984! Can’t wait to make a bunch of Orwell jokes that are poorly thought out and land poorly!

But I guess it’ll have to wait since we’re on Late Night with David Letterman in this issue.

This sure is an interesting turn of events. Although the team we see on the cover doesn’t seem to be the actually active roster. They’re over in the corner box turned away - either from shame or because they’re off doing their own thing.

Because its Assistant Editors’ Month!

A fun-sounding non-event. Although, looking it up, very few books that were considered part of the event actually did anything with it beyond a slightly goofy issue box on the cover.

So we’re going to see some Avengers go on a talk show today.

Superheroes as celebrities! What a novel idea.

Anyway, I learned an interesting detail about the cover that would have totally missed me. The checkerboard strip at the top was a hallmark of DC comics around this time. And the round MC logo in the top right is an obvious spoof of the DC logo from this time.

It’s not much more than a goof for this book but the Captain America book released for Assistant Editors’ Month also had the checkerboard and logo and was a style parody of DC comics.

Last times: Vision went into a robo-coma from walking into an invisible dome created by Annihilus and only recently recovered the ability to talk. New Avenger Starfox hooked Vision up to ISAAC the Titan computer and overclocked Vision’s robot brain so now he can project himself as a hologram and has an even faster computer brain. At the end of Avengers #238, the Avengers got a call from Tigra about some nonsense going on in San Francisco involving Spider-Woman.

Meanwhile, Hawkeye got a whole miniseries all to himself where he met Mockingbird, lost his job at Cross Technological, his girlfriend revealed that she was paid to date him and also hated him, he teamed up with Mockingbird to uncover an evil scheme by Crossfire to kill all superheroes, Hawkeye lost his hearing by putting an ultrasonic arrowhead in his mouth but foiled the scheme plot, and married Mockingbird. He’s had a very busy week or so!

This time: Hawkeye comes back to the Avengers Mansion to show off his cool new wife.

Hawkeye: “Hey, everybody -- your wanderin’ boy Hawkeye has come home... And you’ll never guess what I’ve gone and done!”

I can just imagine Mockingbird replying “Me” with the biggest shit-eating grin. She feels the sort to do that.

When Hawkeye and Mockingbird arrive there’s no one to greet them except the floating disembodied hologram head of the Wizard of Vizh.

Hawkeye has also made the decision, for some reason, to not wear the hearing aid that Mockingbird got him so he can’t hear what Vision is saying when he compliments his new costume.

Mockingbird introduces herself for Hawkeye and Vision tells the two to join him in the medical labs so they can catch up.

When they arrive, Vision raises his volume so Hawkeye can hear and recaps everything that’s happened to lead up to him becoming a robot in a tube who can hologram around.

Vision: “[Starfox] set up a direct link between ISAAC, the world-computer of Titan, to better diagnose my condition. But, instead, my brain became overloaded with ISAAC’s energy-information matrix --!”

Hawkeye: “And you became several with the universe, right?”

Vision: “‘Several with the’ --? Oh -- hah-ha! Very witty!”

Overclocking his brain seems to have done wonders for Vision’s sense of humor.

He even finds Hawkeye funny now.

Vision also explains where the dickens everyone else is (because Hawkeye asks him where the dickens they are. Its so weird for Hawkeye to say dickens).

Jarvis was given the day off to visit his mother, Captain America and Thor are both busy with nonsense in their own books, and the rest of the Avengers are off to San Francisco because of that call from Tigra.

Hawkeye offers to fly out and give them a hand, which Vision declines since they’ll call if they need help.

Instead he asks Hawkeye how he met Mockingbird and Hawkeye recaps the miniseries in only five panels.

He’s better at this than I am...

Hawkeye: “Anyway, Mockingbird and I had made a pretty good team -- so when it was all over, we ran off and got married!”

Mockingbird: “What can I say? The big lug needed somebody to keep him out of trouble!”

That’s the task of a lifetime, Bobbi. But good for you two! Cute couple is what I say.

Vision: “Marvelous! I hope you two will be as happy together as Wanda and I have been!"

Vision and Scarlet Witch probably are the healthiest superhero marriage of this time.

Vision asks if Hawkeye and Mockingbird intend to stay in the mansion, which they do. But it’s cool because Mockingbird has security clearance from working with SHIELD so they won’t need to bother Mr. Sikorsky and agitate his hatred of living in the superhero genre.

After Hawkeye takes Mockingbird off on a tour of the mansion, Vision receives a call from his brain brother, Wonder Man.

Who, very reluctantly, is coming to the Avengers with hat in hand. So to speak.

Wonder Man: “Okay. Here’s the situation -- my acting career hasn’t been going anywhere lately! So my agent, without my approval -- used the fact that I’m a reserve Avenger to get me a booking on David Letterman’s show, and now, they want me to bring other Avengers along with me! My agent really put me in a tight spot on this one. I hate to impose, but -- !”

Vision: “It’s no imposition at all, Simon! I’ll personally call the network and confirm the Avengers’ appearance!”

Wonder Man: “You’re sure it’s no trouble?”

Vision: “None whatsoever! After all, we have many Avengers -- !”

You sure do! Not as many as you’ll have by the No Surrender days. But still.

Also, I love this can-do attitude from you, Vision!

This is a pretty low priority in terms of fighting crime and whatnot but Vision is like THIS IS EXTREMELY DOABLE, I AM THE INTERNET.

Although imagine how sad it is from Wonder Man’s perspective. His agent put him on the spot pulling sorta-rank to get Simon some media attention but the media is like ‘ok but do you have something better?’

This man is trying to improve his career and the David Letterman show looked at him and said ‘ok but what else have you got?’

Oof!

Anyway, Vision uses the superpower of being wired into the phone system to call up some extra Avengers who aren’t very busy right now.

He calls Black Panther, Beast, and Black Widow.

Their varied responses are pretty funny.

But Black Panther’s is probably the best. He interrupts a meeting with his advisers to take the call and then he’s like ‘yeah sure I can drop everything I’m doing to appear on David Letterman!’

T’Challa really would rather be doing anything but kinging.

Beast initially protests that he’s too busy with the Defenders to just jump on some Avengers business but...

Beast: “The Letterman show? Hey, why didn’t you say so?”

And Black Widow is unbusy sunbathing at the Waldorf Towers while between missions. She doesn’t really want to make a television appearance (it’s kinda counterproductive for a spy, I would guess) but Vision mentions something that has Natasha agree to be there.

Based on what happens later, I guess Vision mentions that Hawkeye will be there.

A couple hours later, ELSEWHERE, well if it isn’t our ol’ friend and punchline Fabian Stankowicz!

Remember this goofus? He attacked the Avengers right when everyone was feeling bad about Hank Pym? Iron Man easily beat him up while the rest of the Avengers breezed on by. Or when he attacked Wasp’s cool superheroine brunch? Which was a hilariously terrible idea because he got between She-Hulk and breakfast foods. Also, nobody took him very seriously there either.

I guess the Avengers didn’t bother to press charges either time because he’s not in jail. He’s at his home working on some machines while his dad criticizes how he spends his time.

Dads, amirite?

Granted, what he’s criticizing is Fabian’s tendency to pick fights with superheroes. And... granted. Not a great use of his time.

But apparently Fabian can afford all the robot suits he keeps attacking the Avengers with because he won the lottery.

So he has a pretty good position to shoot down his dad’s protests, really.

Dad Stankowicz: “Fabian, I’m glad your poor mother didn’t live to see what’s become of you... It would’ve broken her heart!”

Fabian Stankowicz: “Aw, gimme a break, old man!”

Dad Stankowicz: “‘Old man’? This is the way you talk to your father?”

Fabian Stankowicz: “What do you want, egg in your beer? Was it you who won the state lottery and got us out of the Bronx? No, it was me! I won the money, and I’ll say how it’s spent! And I’m gonna use it to make a name for myself! Me... Fabian Stankowicz!”

And when Fabian sees an ad saying that the Avengers will be on Late Night with David Letterman, he has an idea. A wonderful, awful idea.

Also, who the heck puts egg in beer?

I’ve looked it up and I get that it’s a saying but apparently the saying is based on people actually doing that! Why??

The next afternoon, at 30 Rockefeller Plaza, where the show 30 Rock and this issue of Avengers both happen, this issue of Avengers is happening.

A CBS page shows Black Widow to the green room where the other Avengers are already waiting.

Also: I know that it’s all the Avengers who weren’t busy (even though T’Challa really should have been?) but this is a fun roster.

Hawkeye, Wonder Man, Beast, Black Widow and Panther?

Heck, I could imagine this being the Marvel equivalent of the Justice League International team, one more geared for some light-hearted comedy?

Except we’re in 1984 so this predates that.

But you have Beast and Wonder Man, your comedy duo best buds. You have Black Panther and Widow being varying levels of straight man to the nonsense. And you have Hawkeye who can be very serious or very ridiculous depending on how hot-headed he’s being at the time.

This team could be hilarious!

(Avengers International. Think about it, Marvel.)

Outside the green room, our ol’ buddy ol’ punching bag, Fabian Stankowicz is in disguise as a repairman with a mustache as cover for installing some devices in the studio. Then he puts on a beard to disguise himself as Perfectly Normal Bearded Audience Member.

I appreciate his intiative although I doubt any of the present Avengers are gonna recognize this guy on sight even if he wore a t-shirt that said “I’m Fabian Stankowicz.”

Fabian Stankowicz: Boy, this is gonna be so sweet, especially after the way the Avengers made me look like a chump those last two times! This time, it’s gonna be different! This time, I’m going to have a ringside seat for the defeat of the Avengers!

Or at least the Avengers that were available to show up on the Tonight Show with David Letterman.

Y’know, I like Fabian Stankowicz. He’s just smart enough to be dangerous and dumb enough to be entertaining. I think there’s a place for an ineffectual doofus with delusions of grandeur in the foe Rolodex of any superhero team.

Meanwhile, back with said Whoever Was Availables, Black Widow and Mockingbird are meeting for the first time.

And luckily, they’re both mature adults who don’t act like you’d usually see in media when the missus meets the ex.

So with a fight to the death NOT happening in the green room, Hawkeye gets to asking Mockingbird about the errand he sent her on which was why she wasn’t in the room when Black Widow first showed up.

Presumably using every bit of skill in espionage at her disposal, Mockingbird got a copy of the questions Letterman will be asking during the show.

Because Hawkeye will be fielding the questions and he has made the decision not to wear his hearing aid. And has also made the follow-up decision that not only will he not be hearing anything tonight, he’s also definitely going to be fielding all the questions.

Mockingbird: “Why won’t you wear a hearing aid?”

Hawkeye: “No can do, sweetheart! The fewer people who know I’m half-deaf, the safer it’ll be for all of us!”

(I don’t really get this reasoning but okay, man)

Mockingbird: “Then why not let someone else be spokesman? This is supposed to be Wonder Man’s big night!”

Hawkeye: “Sure... but I’m the only active Avenger here! Give me a kiss for luck!”

Not for nothing does Mockingbird think that he can be impossible sometimes. And she’s only known him a couple weeks! She’s already come to the correct read on him in that short a time.

David Letterman starts the show with an opening monologue.

David Letterman: “Tonight... What can I say? Tonight is something really special! In fact, it’s probably the most special show we’ve had since our 'camping with Barry White’ program! Yes... hard to believe, isn’t it? But with all due respect to Mr. White -- I think that this show may be our greatest ever. But, as they say, ‘that’s for history to decide!’”

Imagine being a talk show host and getting to introduce the Avengers. Pretty neat.

I like that bandleader Paul Shaffer is wearing a Captain America jersey. Although that makes me wonder once again what merchandising is like for Marvel superheroes. 

Clearly it exists but did Cap sign off on a jersey mimicking his costume? Does he see any money from that? Or at least did he get to say that all profit goes to such and such charity?

Letterman introduces the Avengers for the audience.

(Fun how you can get a sense of their personality just by how they’re sitting. It’s the little touches that make a comic fun.)

Hm, I wonder how well the marvel public follows superhero roster changes.

I know that sometimes new Avengers rosters have gotten attention with press conferences and everything. And sometimes they just swap in and out members as personal business comes up.

Some of the people in the audience may not even recognize Black Widow as an Avenger. Becaaaaause, wait I don’t think she ever was one. She’s assisted on some missions and they were ready to vote her in when she vanished to go do a SHIELD mission.

Okay, better example, does anyone remember that Wonder Man- oh wait, he very publicly burst out of a crate in front of Avengers Mansion during press furor over a roster change. Also, he’s a pre-successful actor.

Black Pan- no, no. He was framed for killing the Avengers his very first day on the team. There was a manhunt.

And of course, everyone knows Beast was on the Avengers. He got around. Romantically.

David Letterman mentions that this group isn’t even all the Avengers because some couldn’t make it (read: were busy with more important things).

Which leads to a funny cut to audience where Beard Fabian is annoyed that this group is who got caught in his revenge scheme.

Fabian Stankowicz: Blast it, where’s Captain America? Where’s that &#%$ She-Hulk?

You better wash your brain out with soap before She-Hulk finds out you thought  that about her. She’s dunked people into the garbage for lesser offenses.

Beast decides that this Late Night interview is the best time to reveal that he’s quitting as a reservist Avenger to focus on his version of the Defenders.

Letterman: “Wow, that was some bombshell the Beast just dropped, Hawkeye! You’re group spokesman... What do you think of that?”

Hawkeye: First question -- ! “Well, David, the Avengers is a non-profit organization, fully sanctioned as a peace-keeping force by just about ever international organization you could think of!”

Letterman: “Eh-heh-heh! You don’t say!”

Oh god, Beast’s bombshell messed up the order of questions and Hawkeye is firmly sticking to script because he can’t hear.

My god, Hawkeye.

Letterman: “You know, I was just about to ask you something along those lines. You wouldn’t be psychic by any chance -- ?”

Hawkeye: “No, of the founding members, only the Wasp and Thor remain as active Avengers.”

Letterman: “You little dickens! You’ve been peeking at my question sheet, haven’t you? All right, I might as well as my next question which is... ‘I hear you were recently married! Is that true?’”

Hawkeye: “Yes, Dave... just a few weeks ago!”

Letterman: “How about that!”

Did Hawkeye just think they were going to blaze through the questions? Even if Beast hadn’t preempted the first question, did Hawkeye think that there would be no follow-up questions? No discussion?

I’ve been on the fence on whether the jokes about Hawkeye not hearing the questions are poking fun at deaf people or at Hawkeye and yeah, Hawkeye is definitely the butt of this joke.

Fabian Stankowicz loses patience for this very dry question and answer session and decides to start his attack nnnnow.

One of the studio cameras is secretly A GIANT LASER. Because. And it blasts the stage.

Mockingbird is watching this on a tiny screen in the Green Room and goes out to help only to run afoul of some kind of mechanized steamrolling dumpster.

Back in the studio, Wonder Man has found his new nemesis.

Move over, Grim Reaper. You’re one-dimensional and everyone especially me hates you. Hello, laser blasting camera.

Wonder Man: “Let me at that thing, Beast! It’s ruining my guest-shot!”

Beast: “You’ll have to wait your turn, Wondy! It just shredded my favorite shirt!”

Priorities!

You know, this was supposed to be about Wonder Man and he only got to say two words during the interview portion.

Dangit, Hawkeye.

Apppppparently, the audience is just assuming that this is all part of the show. A cliche, sure. But it makes sense.

Would you really have the Avengers on a talk show and just have them talk? That’s a waste of perfectly good superheroes.

Also.... apparently? David Letterman used to run things over with a steamroller a lot? So a steamroller looking contraption crashing through the wall to attack the Avengers does seem like something that might happen?

Also, Paul Shaffer decides to just roll with it so as not to panic the audience.

The show must go on, after all.

The steamroller also starts firing missiles at Beast, as ya do.

Beast: “Hunter missiles? I don’t believe this is happening on network tv!”

Wonder Man tries punching the steamroller to no avail but which does give Black Panther a chance to pull out the tried and true “Wonder Man’s fists carry as much bludgeoning power as Thor’s hammer!”

Y’know, originally, that was a flex that set Wonder Man as a threat to the team but after he joined, that never really seemed to actually be the case.

Imagine if Wonder Man always hit as hard as Thor’s hammer? Like, he’s minding his own business and then the Gorr the God Butcher arc happens and Wonder Man is like ‘huh, why do I suddenly feel like my punches could destroy planets light years away? That’s a very specific feeling!’

Fabian Stankowicz takes advantage of the spectacle chaos to walk out of the audience, plunk himself down into one of the interview chairs, remove his entirely convincing beard, and introduce himself to David Letterman as the guy who is definitely to blame for all the action setpieces going on.

Letterman, like Paul Shaffer, just decides to roll with it. Humor the guy. Ask him why he’s doing this.

Fabian Stankowicz: “Why? To prove it could be done! To show what one incredibly gifted individual can accomplish...”

Letterman: “... To get your name in the papers?”

Fabian Stankowicz: “That too! After all, the Avengers have battled Zodiac... the Masters of Evil... Doctor Doom! I want to make as big a name for myself as those guys!”

Letterman: “Seems to me that ‘Stankowicz’ is already a pretty big name!”

Badum pish?

He asks Fabian to explain all of his devices and Fabian is happy too.

I mean, he’s being a supervillain for the notoriety and supervillains already love to hear themselves talk so he’s double dipping into the ‘I will exposit everything at the drop of a hat’ well.

And imagine, Fabian built all this stuff in his garage with lottery winnings.

The steamroller thing isn’t just a steamroller, it’s also got a gravity generator. Which, I guess, makes sense if you’re expecting to go against a She-Hulk or a Thor. A regular steamroller isn’t going to do more than annoy.

Wonder Man fighting so hard against the roller makes it increase gravity so much that Simon and steamroller just fall through the floor.

Hm. I wonder what’s filmed in the studios the floor down. They’re about to have an exciting guest star in that steamroller.

Black Widow (still tangling with the laser camera) points Hawkeye towards Fabian. Although she has to shout and Hawkeye still doesn’t really get it but is happy to shoot an arrow at someone that Black Widow is vigorously gesturing at.

Alas, Fabian is one of those prepared villains we’ve been hearing so much about.

He built a force field too, and the arrow just bounces right off.

(Hey, uh, Hawkeye? What kind of arrow was that? Because it looks technological and you just shot it at this guy’s head)

Truly, can nothing stop this insidious yet not very menacing criminal genius?

Oh, I guess David Letterman can.

Knocks him out with a big knob.

It’s just plain big.

Prop comedy, amirite?

The audience seems to love it anyway. I looked up a clip of the big doorknob and it didn’t meet with this much applause. Maybe its because it was used to do violence this time?

Was the giant door knob a beloved part of Late Show lore?

David Letterman: “I guess that’ll teach you not to mess with David Letterman!”

That’s a line with weird energy to it.

Anyway, it would be a sad day for this random assemblage of backup Avengers if they were upstaged completely by David Letterman and his big knob.

Black Widow and Hawkeye finally manage to blow up the laser camera.

I’m not sure why it took them this long. Sure, the camera could apparently move, based on motion lines in previous panels. But the world’s best marksman couldn’t nail it sooner?

But the important thing is that eventually, they did do it.

The floor starts rumbling as well as Wonder Man flies back up with his belt-jets with the trashed roller and a shit-eating grin.

Wonder Man: “Sorry this took so long -- But I guess I’m a little rusty at tackling big hunks of tin like this!”

Fabian Stankowicz: Rusty? It took me a month to design that, and he totaled it in less than five minutes!

But since everyone’s focus is on Wonder Man (for once), Fabian tries to sneak away.

And runs smack dab into Mockingbird who has a lot of justified anger over almost getting run over by the roller earlier. But she just throws him over to some police that have finally shown up.

Letterman tells the audience not to try any of this at home, just in case any of them have gravity-generator osmium steel steamrollers lying around? And cuts to commercial, presumably so that some basic tidying can happen.

Hours after the filming of the show concludes, the Avengers TV Squad have returned to the mansion, with Vision wishing he could have taken part of this assistant editors month special issue.

Vision: “What became of Stankowicz?”

Black Panther: “Well, with all the charges NBC is leveling against him, the only machinery he’ll be dealing with for some time will be in the New York State Prison library!”

So, he attacked Avengers Mansion. He attacked Wasp’s superheroine brunch at the Van Dyne residence. That’s all well and good. He attacks the Avengers again in the NBC studio and the man is going to jail forever.

I guess the Avengers really haven’t been bothering to press charges on Fabian. But a massive media corporation isn’t so kind.

Since Hawkeye is technically the active Avenger (even though Vision’s hologram head is RIGHT there) he has to follow up on the thing Beast said about quitting the Avengers reservists.

Beast says its not right for him to be an Avengers reservist if he’s also trying to turn “the Defenders into a for-real group!”

Uh, Defenders fans? Wasn’t the appeal of the Defenders them being the not-team team? How did people feel about Beast going ‘ok but what if they were more like other teams instead?’

Meanwhile, Wonder Man is pacing, waiting for the Late Show to come on so he can see how he did when WOMP WOMP the show is interrupted by a special news bulletin.

Wonder Man is aghast that his big break isn’t even airing but when the special news bulletin is about a burning chemical barge, his hero instincts that he has suddenly swell up.

Wonder Man: “This... This is awful! What’re we standing around for? Let’s do something! We’re Avengers, aren’t we?”

Black Panther: “That we are, Simon! Let’s go!”

Beast also decides, hey, one more time won’t hurt and accepts his Avengers ID card back from Hawkeye.

And as they’re headed off to the Quinjet, Beast has a hopeful note for Wonder Man.

Beast: “Hey, Wondy -- remember, there’s a three-hour time difference between the coasts! If we can get this mess cleaned up in time, maybe some folks in California will still see you get your big break!”

Wonder Man: “And if we don’t -- ?”

Beast: “Well, that’s show biz!”

Pretty enjoyable issue! Like, sure, its a good for Assistant Editor’s Month. But if you’re going to do a goof, then you can do worse than bringing back Fabian Stankowicz for a third time’s not the charm.

Speaking of charm, having the Avengers appear on a talk show is a charming concept. Not a whole lot was done with it except the joke about Hawkeye answering the wrong questions but its still a fun idea.

And having the Avengers off busy lets us brush off some Also Avengers that haven’t been in play for a bit. That’s a fun idea that I wouldn’t mind seeing some more.

Have the reservists called in because of a situation happening when the Avengers are already busy.

Heck, I’d like to see a situation where the silliest and least regarded Avengers are the only ones available to respond to an emergency. Have them bounce off each other as a group. Maybe they’re mutually aware of their bad reputations.

Anyway, I expected this issue would be ridiculous but it was also enjoyable. Didn’t mind it at all. And (though by a different writer) the Hawkeye miniseries was very enjoyable too.

This is just feeling like a good era for the Avengers team.

Next time, apparently The Ghost of Jessica Drew. So she’s some kind of ghost spider? Nobody tell Carol Danvers.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because I typed this post partially while a cat was lying on my wrist. That’s dedication. Which you can’t spell without cat. Also, like and reblog if you think its likeable and rebloggable.

[introvertguide]

15 Badass Movies for a Fun Time at Home or with Friends

There is a buzz in the air as COVID-19 vaccines are rolling out and the hope of having a movie night with friends is again becoming a reality. Watching alone isn’t as fun because I want to talk to somebody about what I have just seen. A full theater does not agree with my introvert nature because somebody screaming or laughing or talking on their phone will ruin it for me. Watching with a fellow cinephile or two is perfect. But what to watch first? People have been stuck inside, so fantasy and alternative worlds have been overly popular. All I do is talk over zoom for a living. I think what I need most right now is a movie about realistic people with realistic skills that go into a situation and just wreck house. I need a badass movie. What is this “badass” movie you might say? Well, here are some basic criteria: 1) There must be a tough lead character who kicks butt while spouting one liners and doesn’t need superhuman powers (high levels of peak skill with speed, aim, or strength is OK if they are plausible in the real world), 2) most of the characters (good and bad) must be likable, admirable or at least memorable, 3) the lead must face and defeat overwhelming odds against them, and 4) extra points for memorable one liners. Also, I am only dealing with human protagonists (sorry Terminator), but slightly superhuman opposition is acceptable. This list is by no means exhaustive, it is just an example of some badass movies. So in no particular order:

1) Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

To start off the list, I want to mention the most well known American badass. Indiana Jones is a smart guy with a gun and a whip. He is rugged and punches guys in the face. He has weaknesses but works through them to get the job done. Harrison Ford was in his early 40s for this role and had this tough-as-nails and seen the world kind of feel while still being young enough to fight hand to hand. Any of the first three films featuring Indiana Jones would work here, but this is the original and it started the fun. Easy to watch. Easy to cheer for. Great movie. You can’t really go wrong with any age or group with this one. 

2) 13 Assassins (2010)

This movie is extremely badass but not for everyone. This is one of the goriest films I have ever seen as 13 warriors kill off a couple of hundred soldiers and the evil leader that they guard. The movie was directed by Japanese extreme horror icon Takashi Miike if that means anything to you (hey made Audition and Ichi the Killer). The movie has gallons of blood, but also an amazing story of redemption and honor. There are tons of scenes of a single warrior taking on dozens of soldiers and managing to overcome. Not for everyone, but still very much a badass movie.

3) The Raid (2011)

This is an Indonesian action thriller with the word action in bold. The film is directed by Gareth Evans and stars Iko Uwais as part of a small police force that tries to take down an old building that houses a drug lord and his violent gang. It has a lot of what I like in badass movies: one-on-one fights between the lead and almost superhuman villains, long well-choreographed scenes, a banging soundtrack, ridiculous weapons, and ridiculous gore. The fight scenes in tight places and the use of the environment for weaponry is amazing and the sound design makes sure you can feel every punch. The lead character should have no chance, but he makes up for it with skill and being a pure badass. This movie is one of the few that I would describe as having non-stop action.

4) Jon Wick (2014)

When did Keanu Reeves become so cool? I grew up with him being part of the Bill and Ted duo. He decides to learn martial arts and play a god-like being in the Matrix movies and then becomes a one man wrecking crew? I guess he is a badass because he does it so well. Keanu plays a retired hitman who is wronged and decides to go back to work for vengeance. He just won’t stop coming and seems to constantly survive out of pure hatred alone. There are 3 films in the series and any one of them will impress. Pure fun too watch.

5) Casino Royale (2006)

When I was asking around, there were many people who thought that James Bond was the ultimate badass. I disagree in that many of the older films show Bond as overconfident with the assistance of many people. In fact, Q is more of a badass in many ways than James Bond. However, when the series was taken back to its roots with the last book that had not been made into a serious film and made darker, it reached badass levels. From the parkour chase to a poisoning to an extreme torture scene, this was not like any James Bond movie before it. Roger Craig plays a much colder lead who gives no quarter, much more like what the greatest secret agent would have to be. Heavy on violence but light on gore, this film is more for all audiences than other films on this list.

6) Desperado (1995)

What makes this movie is not all about Antonio Banderas and Selma Hayek. It is that every other character is memorable and badass as well. The street standoff with Bucho’s men versus El Mariachi, Quino, and Campo is iconic. El Mariachi murders everyone in a bar with precise skill. The rogue assassin Navajas with all the knives played by Danny Trejo. Nothing but extreme shoot outs and fight scenes with a ridiculous variety of guns and explosives. I think what makes this movie so amazing is that all these amazing assassins are incognito and, when they suddenly produce an arsenal out of nowhere, it is always a pleasant surprise. Quino and Campo are amazing when they bring their guitars. 

7) Pulp Fiction (1994)

Truly the role that made Samuel L. Jackson into the ultimate badass. He and his partner Vincent are hitman that keep running into the worst situations. The thing about the film is that everybody is so cool. The characters are cool, the music is cool, the dialogue is cool, hell even the diner featured in the movie is cool. The movie only spans a couple of days (in completely separate segments shown out of order) but packs in 7 distinct situations that are all berserk. From the mind of Quentin Tarantino, this movie is dripping with the best characters traveling through the best story. Highly recommend.

8) Leon: The Professional (1994)

Also known simply as The Professional in the U.S., this film features the debut of Natalie Portman. It is directed by Luc Besson at his best period, right between La Femme Nakita and The Fifth Element. The lead is actually a quiet hitman who reluctantly takes a little 12-year-old girl on as an apprentice to become a paid assassin. Her parents were killed by a corrupt cop and she wants Leon to help her exact revenge. He is an absolute badass and somewhat of a caring surrogate father to the girl. Unlike a lot of the films on this list, the premise is not simply kicking butt in a bad situation. There is serious character growth. Apparently you can be a caring parent and a cold-blooded murderer...and that is badass.

9) Kill Bill (2003)

Being a badass is not exclusive to men and The Bride is a prime example of this. She survives a shot to the head, kills deadly assassins, slaughters a gang, and takes on a crazy school girl bodyguard. She is tougher then any lead I can think of and she has the bad attitude and sense of vengeance that makes for a badass. Combine this with the soundtrack and beautiful cinematography associated with director Quentin Tarantino and you have a beautifully violent movie in which the hits keep coming. Even on this list, the fight scene between the bride and Gogo Yubari is insane. Also note the nod to Bruce Lee with the bright yellow motorcycle suit. Beautifully badass film.

10) Aliens (1986)

In nature, there are few things more dangerous than a mother protecting their young. A mother will fight you to the death and make sure that, at the very least, you won’t be able to go after her kids. Now imagine an alien planet covered with hostile beings created in the mind of James Cameron and Stan Winston and you have a setting made to create a real badass. In the beginning, Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) is just desperate to survive and barely knows how to use a weapon. She meets a little survivor named Newt and then has a real reason to become aggressive. She and a group of marines fight through a station filled with super destructive xenomorph aliens made straight from nightmares to save this kid. The transformation is truly amazing and culminates in a mech suit versus a giant queen alien and it is extremely badass.

11) Army of Darkness (1992)

Far and away the funniest movie on this list, this is the third film stemming from Evil Dead and again stars Bruce Campbell taking on the deadites that were raised by reading from the Necronomicon. The opposition is the undead evil that faces the world which makes the violence very unrealistic. This was early work from Sam Raimi and features a variety of different shots done to the extreme. What really makes this film stand out is how Bruce Campbell is amazing at delivering a one liner. His classic quips have been used as fun Easter eggs in video games like Duke Nukem and World of Warcraft for decades. The quintessential horror comedy and a perfect example of a badass.

12) Die Hard (1988)

Apparently, I am a big fan of single characters that need to work their way through a building of villains using mostly intelligence and the element of surprise. Throw in some one liners and I am all for it. That is exactly what this is with Bruce Willis crawling barefoot around a 40 story building and fighting off a gang of villains. The movie also has Alan Rickman as the main bad guy and he is chewing the scenery. This is a great example of being a badass, but it is too bad that the follow up sequels were so poor. Definitely stick to the original and let the rest pass by.

13) The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly (1966)

An OG of the badass movie genre, this is some of the best of Sergio Leone and the spaghetti western. Instead of one badass, this movie has three different leads that are all amazing. You have the good, Clint Eastwood, who is an amazing shot and a heart of gold under a rough exterior. You have the bad, Lee Van Cleef, playing an conniving assassin that will kill anyone that he doesn’t have a use for. Finally, you have the ugly, Eli Wallach, as a desert rat that will do anything to survive. They all gain information about a gold stash and need to work together to get it, but this creates a vortex of cheating, undercutting, and straight up murder. Clint Eastwood is more of the classic badass with his cigar, hat, and poncho, It is an iconic look on an iconic character in an iconic movie. That is what I call badass.

14) Ong-Bak (2003)

This less of a badass movie and more houses some of the most amazingly badass fight scenes that can only be described as badass. This movie introduced the great Tony Jaa to the western world and showed the high flying nature of Thai boxing and Muay Thai in general. The main character is entered into a street fighting tournament and the moves include a flying double knee drop and a full splits kick. If the whole movie was the tournament, it would be the best movie that ever existed. The variety of opponents makes the fighting even better and the cinematography is top notch. Tony Jaa is truly badass in this film.

15) Dredd (2012)

Not the crappy version with Stallone, this movie is seriously badass. It features Karl Urban who is helmeted for the entire film (as Dredd would be) taking on a 200 story mega slum filled with residents that want to shoot him dead. There is a drug dealer high up in the building and she locks down the entire compound with instructions to kill Dredd, who only has his rookie partner to help. He takes on random resident mobs, groups of gang members, and even a trio of mini guns that have bullets that can rip through walls. He has a smart gun with a bunch of ammo that he uses judiciously to kill everybody. This movie was seriously underrated since it had not been that long since the garbage Judge Dredd came out in 1995. The 2012 is a far superior movie, being much more violent and dark instead of having Rob Schneider as the comedy relief (not badass).

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I know there will be a lot of opinions about what makes a badass film and what movies i didn’t add. Feel free to add your own movies or critique my choices. I will stand by my choices, however, and recommend any of these films for a night of cheers and badass action.

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #21- Situations in Which it is Appropriate to Stab Your Roommate

You know what’s generally considered bad for your health?

Getting fingers stuck into your brain meat.

Tailgate reveals himself to be immune to Tyrest’s “fall down on the floor” signal, because his hearing’s gone to complete shit due to Cybercrosis. Tailgate then turns off the “fall down on the floor” signal, allowing everyone back up. Tyrest dislikes this turn of events every much- so much so, in fact, he’s turned into a Nazgûl out of sheer rage.

Rodimus, feeling a bit bolstered by the fact that he’s gotten his hands on one of the massive guns the Legislators dropped, tries to talk a big game at Tyrest, before being reminded that a lot of their party is still at risk of dying, by way of their souls cheese-wizzing out of their heads.

Tyrest, now using Tailgate as a hostage, tells everyone to back off so he can go hang out with the Guiding Hand, otherwise he’s gonna poke holes in Cyclonus’ morality pet. Tailgate screams for Rodimus to fire, finally revealing that he’s been dying this whole time. Rodimus has a weird moment where the plot overrides his knowledge of his situation as a character, as he claims shooting them both is unnecessary, as it looks like someone’s already working on it.

Not sure how he saw the gun and not the man it was being held by. And Minimus has some fucking explaining to do.

Outside, Star Saber is yelling about everyone being unworthy of God’s grace, save for himself, because Real Bastard Hours are 24-fucking-7 with him around. Cyclonus decides that he’s going to deal with the stress of not being able to find his dying roommate through violence, and agrees to a religiously-inclined sword fight.

Star Saber has a good start, sucker-punching Cyclonus in the chin, holier-than-thou as he goes. Cyclonus turns the tables however, when he uses his remaining helmet horn to gouge one of Star Saber’s eyes out, revealing his fashion statement to be a deadly weapon in its own right.

Then we get a taste of Cyclonus’ personal brand of faith.

That’s a mighty high opinion of Tailgate you got there, pal. Quite the jump from “I think you’re pathetic.”

Unfortunately, having this little character moment gives Star Saber enough time to warp the hell away from Cyclonus’ Nazgûlian wrath.

Back with Zombie Bullshit Part 3, we get some friggin’ answers.

Minimus looks super tiny here, but remember that he’s still at least ten feet tall. This is not a man you can invite inside your house for a tea party.

After Minimus’ head got crushed, he had to Alien chest-burst his tiniest self out, which allowed him to grab that gun that’s as big as he is and shoot Tyrest in half. Rodimus has to be reminded again that people are still dying, including Brainstorm, which is weird, because he made it seem like he was forged a few issues back. Perceptor runs off to try and parse the Killswitch, and Pharma offers to help, striking a weirdly sultry pose as he does. Everyone ignores him, because that’s just what happens when you become evil and cut your old coworker in half hotdog-style- you get ignored.

Off in the corner, Swerve is talking to Tailgate about the fact that he didn’t tell anyone he was dying, then makes a joke about his impending demise, because Swerve has a lot of trouble handling serious situations. No one has helped him pop his nose back into place, either. This entire team is just falling apart.

Skids stares blankly at Ratchet and First Aid as they check to make sure all the cold-constructed ‘bots are still dying- they are- then remembers that he’s supposed to be watching Pharma.

Prowl only hires the best, clearly.

Skids runs for the portal, with First Aid right on his tail because there’s a gotdang score to settle, and also Rung for some reason. They find Pharma chilling in the tunnel, completely unable to get through to the other side, not because he’s guilty, but because there’s a forcefield in place.

Of course, because Tyrest was an engineer, and you can always find a running theme with everyone’s work, Rung theorizes that the forcefield is working with Aequitas rules, and actually can sense guilt- not of the legal sense, but of the personal variety.

Which sort of implies some unfortunate things about the Aequitas trials as a whole.

Skids starts sinking through, whereas Rung is hitting a wall. Rung, the hell you got to feel guilty about? What sort of horrors have you inflicted upon the world, you skinny creamsicle of a man?

Skids, people are dying. Can your personal nirvana not wait until after this galactic-scale crisis is resolved?

While Skids fucks off into the portal, First Aid’s taking care of Pharma, as Rung watches and has a Nam flashback to issue #6 in the distance.

Sometimes I wonder if First Aid is somehow aware of how Eugenesis went for him, and that’s why he’s so aggressive all the time in MTMTE.

With his revenge exacted, First Aid finally has that breakdown that’s been a long time coming.

You know what we haven’t had in a while? Gratuitous religious imagery.

“They call it the Eugenesis Code. Has something to do with intellectual property, I dunno.”

So this move they’re about to pull might kill Rodimus, and is for-sure going to annihilate the half of the Matrix they have. Bummer. Perceptor goes to finish setting up, leaving Rodimus and Minimus alone to discuss that thing Getaway brought up about Ultra Magnus luring the Lost Light to Luna 1.

Over on the floor, Tyrest isn’t dead, because of course he isn’t, and enacts the homophone game with Swerve and Tailgate as he relays an order to the Legislators.

Outside, all the Legislators stop whaling on Whirl with their swords and start parroting prime numbers at the sky.

Back with Rodimus and Minimus, it’s revealed that Magnus/Minimus/Miniminimus DID lure the Lost Light to the moon, but it was to have Tyrest yell at Rodimus for being a crappy captain. He didn’t know that Tyrest had gone completely bonkers.

The worst part is that Minimus doesn’t know the half of all the bullshit Rodimus has pulled since the end of the war.

No wonder Rodimus was so upset before the funeral- Overlord was partially his fault.

Prowl, prior to the Lost Light’s launch, had wormed his way into Rodimus’ brain, convincing him that an Autobot Phase Sixer was absolutely necessary for the safety of everyone. He, along with Drift, Brainstorm, the Duobots, and eventually Chromedome, assisted in what culminated in one hell of a bad day.

Rodimus would really prefer if this whole space-crucifixion didn’t kill him, because he’s feeling like he’s got a lot to make up for. Which, yeah. I’m guessing all of Tripodeca’s friends are going to be mighty sore about this whole thing once it comes to light.

And that’s a series wrap on Rodimus!

We get a brief intermission, as we find out where exactly Skids got to. It’s… somewhere. Not even he’s sure. He tries to ask for directions, but it would seem there’s a language barrier.

It really speaks volumes to Skids’ sense of self-confidence, that he’d see a giant ball of technicolor light and decide he’s gonna go try to talk to it.

Back at the current crisis at hand, Rodimus screams some more, the Matrix shatters alongside any hopes of finding the Knights of Cybertron, and Ratchet has himself a little smile, because that did the trick.

The reason we aren’t seeing Crankcase in this set of panels is because his head wound was also spewing oil, and he looks super nasty right now. Well, nastier than any of the Scavengers usually are on a day to day basis. They regularly drink corpse juice, they can’t NOT be nasty.

Unfortunately, we aren’t out of the woods yet, as that whole Legislator thing still needs to be taken care of. They pour into the room, throwing Swerve along with the steel door, as he shrieks in terror.

Back outside, Cyclonus and Whirl are having a little breather up on the edge of the smelting pool, since all the Legislators they were fighting went inside. Whirl, who is looking just awful, brings up that little deal he cooked up in issue #19, where Cyclonus would stop trying to murder him if they got through this fight. It’s important to remember that verbal contracts aren’t binding, and that Cyclonus didn’t agree to anything.

And that’s a series wrap on Whirl!

Actually, no, Cyclonus was just daydreaming. He agrees to put the past behind them, then shoots off to go find Tailgate.

Back in Legislator City, things are getting dicey, as Rung screams for Skids to come back, because if nothing else, he knows he can depend on Skids when the chips are down.

Skids, playing to Rung’s expectations, vaults over Pharma’s headless body out of the portal, and starts kicking ass. In the background, some creepy tentacle nonsense pulls Pharma through the portal. This, surely, will never come up again, nor will it be a major plot point down the road.

Because Tyrest decided he was going to play fast and loose with the law, Minimus has no idea what “one one” is meant to refer to. Tailgate decides that cram school did serve a purpose after all, and books it towards that massive computer off in the corner. After a bit of combing through the index, he finds what he’s looking for and makes a few choice edits to the Autobot Code. The Legislators freeze in place, and Tailgate reveals that he’s just completely voided a section of the law.

Just off panel, Minimus barely contains the urge to pop Tailgate’s cubic little head off of his neck. Not that he’d have much time to do it anyway.

Smash cut to the next day, where Tailgate’s laid out in a dark room, Cyclonus sitting by his side. Chromedome is also there for some reason. Rung is nowhere to be seen, despite him likely being a better fit for this situation than the guy whose husband died less than a week ago. Chromedome leaves, because this is a very intimate moment between these two guys who are roommates.

Tailgate, who has developed an honest-to-god “guy-who-is-going-to-die-by-the-end-of-the-movie” cough, tells Cyclonus that he made him something, and it’s waiting in their room for him. I’m going to guess it’s a macaroni art picture of the two of them fighting a dragon.

Tailgate has literal minutes to live, and Cyclonus just sits there, Nazgûling with grief, until Tailgate decides that NOW is the time to reveal his hand.

…Well, there’s the answer to the Babygate question.

Tailgate’s come to the conclusion that all his wanting to be important and a hero was a bit misguided, because as it turns out, it kind of sucks when it’s your final act in the world of the living. He really would have preferred to do just about anything else with his last days, even if it had been just chilling in his room with Cyclonus.

Tailgate asked Cyclonus off-panel to do him a solid and kill him before the Cybercrosis did, a plea which Cyclonus couldn’t agree to. Then he gets a call, and the tension of the scene is somewhat ruined by some goofy-ass cinematic parallels.

Where the hell is Tailgate, that Cyclonus has to book it down the hall to make it to the medibay? That isn’t clear, but what is is that Tailgate has the rottenest luck in the world; they figured out a cure for Cybercrosis, but his case is too advanced for treatment to be effective.

Cyclonus thinks that this is a major bummer, but thanks Ratchet for trying anyway. Whirl tries to talk to him, and he better watch out, before that little deal he made gets thrown out the friggin’ window.

Tailgate hits the final two minutes, as Cyclonus returns, sword in hand.

And that’s a series wrap on Tailgate!

…That was almost a sincere one, you know. Tailgate was supposed to die here, in an earlier draft of the story. He didn’t, because Roberts realized it would completely nerf Cyclonus’ character development. I can’t even begin to imagine who Cyclonus would have been if both the Rewind/Chromedome thing hadn’t gone over well, AND Tailgate got offed.

Later on, Ultra Magnus is back in action, Minimus Ambus having redonned the armor to reassume his position as S.I.C. of the Lost Light. He discusses the changes that have come about as a result of their time on Luna 1 with Rodimus, who’s pretty bummed about the whole situation. A quick rundown of all the nonsense that happened:

The mystical portal to the Guiding Hand no longer works

Hot Spot faded out and won’t come back on

Ambulon is dead

First Aid is very sad about Ambulon being dead

The ship is falling apart

The only person who seems to have had any sort of a positive experience is Brainstorm.

…James, did you put that baby inside that robot?

Anyway, so yeah. Luna 1 sucks butt. One star, would rate zero if I could, I don’t care if it has sweet rocket thrusters strapped to the back of it and is super mysterious, and might potentially be an idea pulled from the delightfully earnest Children of a Lesser Matrix.

Later on, Magnus makes his rounds, stopping by Cyclonus and Tailgate’s room to check the vibe. Turns out that stabbing sick people is considered medicine on Cybertron, at least when you’re using a Great Sword to do it.

Whirl had the awesome idea to slap Cyclonus’ weird spark energy into Tailgate’s frail body, so it could kickstart his heart and give him enough time to actually get treated for Cybercrosis.

Ultra Magnus is impressed, and perhaps a bit concerned with how easily Cyclonus was willing to risk dying so that Tailgate could potentially live. So much so, in fact, that Cyclonus gets an achivement- he’s finally collected enough good karma to be allowed to have friends!

Looking mighty fresh-faced there, Cyclonus. And is that a new horn? Someone’s got a plastic surgeon on speed-dial.

No, this is actually the gift that Tailgate made him, the one he was working on in Hoist’s workshop back in issue #15, just before the Overlord attack. The one we never got to actually see, probably because it would be very easy to tell what it was and who it was for if we had. The set up for our slowburn romance has to be just so, no shortcuts allowed.

[popwasabi]

Why I don’t give a fuck about canon

Recently, after randomly coming across some dope pictures of Transformer toys on Instagram that gave me a strong case of nostalgia, I was inspired to revisit an old childhood favorite in “Beast Wars.”

“Beast Wars,” in case you never watched or heard of it as a kid, is the continuation of the Transformer’s story set in the future as descendants of the Auotobots and Decepticons, the Maximals and Predacons, respectively, accidentally travel to prehistoric Earth to continue a centuries long battle between the two opposing factions.

There’s a lot of to digest there, so I’m not going to go into extreme detail over the plot, but the cast features colorful characters such as Optimus Primal, Cheetor, Rattrap, Dinobot and Megatron to name a few. They all have interesting and distinct personalities and generally play well off each other. It was a big part of my childhood and I collected an ungodly amount of their toys back in the day.

(This was my first ever Beast Wars toy and I think it’s beautiful.)

My rewatch though was…a mixed bag to say the least. The graphics have not aged well. The adventure of the week setup of the plot was repetitive and lacked real character development at times. There were characters that were added in last minute to the show clearly to promote a new action figure over the story on numerous occasions. Though I found the humor to still be pretty good, the action was stale and just lacked high stakes most of the time, save for a few episodes.

I was not shocked it didn’t land terribly well on my rewatch but you know what did? “Beast Machines!”

“Beast Machines” was the follow-up to Beast Wars that had the Maximals fighting on Cybertron where Megatron has taken control of the whole planet using a virus that changes Transformers into mindless drones to do his bidding. The remaining Maximals manage to survive however after Optimus discovers The Oracle which reformats them into animal robot hybrids that are both mechanical and biological. This sets them on a quest to stop Megatron and bring biological and mechanical balance to Cybertron once and for all.

The series is much more narrative based than the previous as it follows a steady trajectory to its epic conclusion. The animation is much sharper, and the soundtrack is fun as hell to listen to still. The pacing is much faster as the stakes couldn’t be higher for the Maximals and all the old characters from the previous grow in interesting ways and develop into more organic people (literally in some ways). Optimus is a more hardcore and emotionally damaged leader and Megatron goes from being something of a punchline in the previous series to a far more menacing and calculating nemesis. The story touches on themes of balance, authoritarianism, PTSD, love and reunion to name a few and for a kids’ show it is, dare I say…more than meets the eye.

I absolutely loved it as a kid and I might actually love it even more as an adult, so it was shocking for me, to say the least, when I read further into the history of the show, that a lot of fans straight up rejected it back in the day.

Common complaints I came across were they didn’t like how characters, such as Ratrap especially, “changed.” They didn’t like the new bio/mechanical Maximals and couldn’t believe that Cybertron was once an organic world.

Their big reason (in just about every forum and video I saw about it)? It didn’t adhere to “canon.”

Now, I’ll start this by saying there is no objective way to critique or even not critique a story. People can like or hate something for a variety of reasons that don’t follow a strict logical pattern. Gods know I have a few questionable/divisive favorites in my catalogue that I have written about here that are based on abstract ideas and personal experiences.

(The Matrix Reloaded is still great btw)

But I will say, if you judge a mega franchise’s latest entry on how well it is supported by established canon it is, in my opinion, a flawed way to critique a work of fiction.

Canon, sometimes referred to as “lore” by fans, is most often applied and used to describe the long running back stories of franchises that stretch beyond just the main books, movies or series, or even the original narrative of the plot. Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, and to a certain extent Harry Potter, all fall into this camp of series with so many interconnected parts, with more than one main character featured in each, that fans follow along this canon like ancient monks studying scripture and history books.

And they can be just as fanatical and over zealous about it.

(I wish they were more fanatical about proper hygiene or at least deodorant...)

My problem with the ways fans often view canon is that their conceptions of what a new story should be is based entirely on the past rather than what is happening right now with the story and what themes the writer is trying express with it this time. 

They base their impressions of the story on external continuity more than the internal continuity.

Yea, the changes in a series like “Beast Machines” are jarring to say the least. Cybertron was formally an organic world like Earth? Rattrap doesn’t have confidence in himself and actually at one point sells out his comrades? Transformers can be biological now? It’s a lot to take in but when watching the story play out it’s not like these elements aren’t explained through the text of the new story.

Cybertron lost balance between its robot inhabitants and its biological life forms and its why it’s out of balance now, and Megatron is the logical progression of that inbalance. Rattrap is struggling to understand his new form, half his friends on the Maximals have been turned into drones, and the remaining team out loud say they don’t have confidence in him. He has PTSD from both the events of this story and the Beast Wars and feels insecure because of how others view him and that’s perfectly logical to not just the story but also the canon. If a fan is willing to give a story a chance they will see that the canon hasn’t actually been destroyed in much of any way and the logical progression is actually there if they simply listen to what’s going on.

(Seriously, it’s not that deep.)

Fans need to stop confusing a character achieving a franchise long arc with being “suddenly different.” In this way, criticisms of canon in new entries in long running series reveal that fans really just lack imagination to connect the dots. It would be like complaining that Luke Skywalker can’t become paranoid and make a grave mistake in judgment because people never change, nevermind the character already has changed a lot from his origins in “A New Hope” to where he was in “Return of the Jedi.”

(Oh wait, people did do that…)

But that’s not to say you have to like the new direction either. You can understand these changes and still be like “well, it’s not for me. I don’t care for a PSTD angle or a new origin for Cybertron,” but that’s whole lot different than saying the new series “rapes your childhood” or “Bastardizes the canon.” All the old canon you hold nostalgia for still exists. My love for “Beast Machines” is not harmed by the existence of newer Transformers properties that don’t meet what I look for in the series.

Too often, fans take changes to established “lore” very personally because it doesn’t fit their expectations or have the same nostalgic feelings they had before. When new entries in mega franchises occur fans often try to judge it by how much it is like what they watched before, rather what makes it different and what it is saying now. Again, you don’t have to like new directions in tone or character but consistency to established work DOES NOT equal good storytelling.

I have not been immune to this myself in the past, of course. Back in the day I wrote a 2500-plus word diatribe on “The Amazing Spider-man 2” that mostly went after how it changed the character I grew up with in a bad way and butchered the established back story I knew him by.

You know what other story doesn’t follow canon very well though? “Spider-man: Homecoming.”

(Now, hear me out...)

Spider-man in the MCU is generally agreed upon to be a good thing by fans. Both movies were big hits both critically and financially and fans often go as far as to say Tom Holland is the “definitive” Peter Parker. 

But Holland’s Spider-man differs quite a bit from the comic-book webslinger. This Spider-man does not have a spidey sense. His best friend is not Harry Osbourne but in fact a retcon of a Mile Morales character. His father figure is Tony Stark, something that never happened in the comics, instead of Uncle Ben, which no matter what way you spin it is arguably his most important relationship in the series.

His character is a reverse of traditional Peter Parker too. Where comics Peter is a reluctant hero, who if anything hates being Spider-man and the burden of his responsibility, “Homecoming” Spider-man actively seeks out responsibility and in many ways enjoys his role as the famous webslinger. In fact, his whole arc is about him earning a spot as an Avenger. He wants to be THE hero and be worthy of it. It’s completely different from what we know of Spider-man.

(He just wants Tony sempai to notice him uWu)

Now I know some fans actually do complain about this Spidey from a “canon” standpoint, but most don’t. So why did this Spider-man get a pass for many but not “The Amazing” one? Quite simply it’s because stories, as cheesy as it sounds, are about feelings and stories like “Homecoming” tell a good story that effectively make those feelings connect with the audience.

We root for this Peter Parker and his journey to becoming an Avenger and successor to Iron Man because the story is told well, the emotions feel earned, and frankly both films are fun and enjoyable.

It’s easy to complain about canon for many nerds because it’s something tangible that they can point to and make a big stink about when they don’t understand why a movie isn’t reaching them. I don’t doubt that many neckbeards genuinely hate a film like “The Last Jedi” (Hell, I’m not a big fan myself) but when those same nerds enjoy something like “The Mandalorian,” a series that has its own loose relationship with canon and establishing new rules in the series, it tells me it’s not about the “lore” to them.

(Easy, fanboys...)

I have come to understand, in my growth as a nerd, that my problems with a lot of movies and TV shows in my favorite series rarely, if ever, have anything to do with the story not meeting some arbitrary guidelines regarding canon. It has more to with the story simply not connecting with me emotionally. The story isn’t drawing me in and keeping me on its narrative path. I’m not feeling the same magic that someone else might feel enjoying it because either a) it doesn’t feel earned to me or b) it just stylistically isn’t for me.

To paraphrase a line from another mega franchise, also owned by Disney, the canon is more like guidelines than actual rules.

(Didn’t expect to see ol’ Barbosa in this write up, did ye?)

It can show you where a story comes from but it isn’t law that you strictly adhere to it. Of course, when writing a new work in a popular series you should consider what came before it but I would like writer’s the freedom to try something new and most importantly fans to be open to it. You don’t have to like it but the idea that new entries in a story MUST remain strict to the canon is bull shit. Not even the original Star Wars trilogy adhered to its own canon perfectly, as clearly the writers were in fact making it up to a certain extent as they were going along.

(hmmmm...)

And that’s ok, because some of those changes were great! Made the story better and made the conclusion stronger.

Again, you don’t have to like every new entry that tries something bold or confrontational in your favorite franchise but if writers strictly followed canon to the T we wouldn’t have things like “Homecoming,” we wouldn’t have “The Mandalorian,” and we certainly wouldn’t have my favorite Transformers series “Beast Machines.”

Canon shouldn’t be a trap for writers and it shouldn’t be a litmus test for fans digesting it. There are so many better ways to judge a story than whether or not it fits neatly into established lore. A good story is a good story, regardless of whether or not it’s supported by something as static as canon.

“Beast Machines” has its flaws here and there, but canon isn’t one of them, at least not for me. Again, if you feel that the lore is important, that’s fine, you don’t have to ignore it but I would ask you to look beyond what came before when critiquing a new story.

Otherwise, you might miss something special that comes next…

Now then... 

[ninjasmart]

Hi Ariella. You seem to be a really wise woman who knows what she’s talking about. I was wondering how one find ones path of life on a spiritual level? I know what my earthly goals are when it comes to family, career etc. I’ve always had a well developed intuition but never really paid any attention to higher powers. Although after everything that has happened during the last 1,5 year have made me think about the bigger questions; Who am I? Why am I here? What is the meaning of life? TBC

part 2. The problem is now that this have made me really confused. I’ve always been really goal oriented and materialistic (I still am and I do have expensive taste on a minimal budget) but due to all the misery the pandemic has created I’ve started to questioning the meaning of everything. Has this ever happen to you? Do you have any advice on how to find my way trough this?

=======

I think it's the Nth time I'm starting this reply. So here it goes.

We each go through milestones in life. We forget that but we do - certain tasks are a priority in certain periods of life. There are also scenarios of what life can bring that are different from the timeline of the group - school, college, career, partner, marriage, kids, rising them, old age, the end. What is interesting is that many life scenarios do not make it to cable tv and people are vastly unprepared.

About materialistic - can you define it? For example, the shopaholics buy stuff to fill the loneliness or to look better and accepted. They do not feel ok with who they are at the moment. There's a lot of freedom if you can free yourself from the buying stuff culture where you define yourself with the stuff you buy. In general, try to have no spend days or no spend weeks, if you can. Even a single week without spending on anything is a liberation. You need to find new ways to feed yourself ... cook. healthy. meals, other ways to meet with friends. I used to be huge about going to restaurants and clubs, many years ago. Now we meet with friends to have a walk.

Another aspect of materialistic is - do you consume or do you create. If you create then you are not part of the consumerism society. If you consume, what is it that you consume. Do you really need it and most importantly .. does it spark joy. For example, I shy away from name brands most of the time. For some things you just need good quality and compromise is not an option. But most of the time my clothes are from places I've visited. They don't look much but I am so proud to have them and they do spark joy. Unless it's part of my job description again I don't want to waste money on name brands. Sorry.

Yet another thing about materialistic is - if someone wants to label you or offend you with it, you can always opt to wear it as a badge of honor. Just today I was called materialistic and I laughed at it. It was about a settlement. The other party wanted to give me what I am owed by law but I said and I quote: "I feel I deserve more. I agree with you. Let's settle but I want double that amount. " There was a quick - how dare you, you're so grasping... but I don't care. There is a price for treating me horribly and they should be happy that I am agreeable.

About the pandemic - this is a but unpopular but there is a target, a goal for that pandemic and as soon as the target is reached it will disappear on its own. And I'm not talking about number of deaths or big bad pharma companies making more of their billions. Something else is at play here and more and more strains will be allowed until a big news circles around the globe. What does that mean for us - be careful and don't allow to become a statistic. I'm not pro or against the vaccines as I cannot take any vaccine.

However, it is not only the pandemic - there were floods and there are fires. I know of a family that lost everything they have build their entire life and now they have to start anew. It is so unfortunate. Everything, everything is pointing people in the direction to look inside and ask themselves the questions that you have been asking: Who am I? Why am I here? What is the meaning of life?

So, let's look at each of them. For the question: Why am I here?, I can direct you to read What if This is Heaven by Anita Moorjani. "Dying to be me" is a classic, must read book because it explains things just as they are. In short - you are here to have human experience. Addictions are experience too - the addictions of the previous generations were drugs, smoking, alcohol. Now comes the time to finer things that distract you from the real life - shopping, consumerism, cults (cults of beliefs, cults of brands, cults of new agey stuff), games, food, sugar, negative emotions..

What is the real life? I was told today and I forgot it. It's a Hebrew concept of enjoying the moment.

Now, onto the: "Who am I?" question. That's an easy one. Have you watched the Matrix? How all of us are hooked through a thingy and have a shared illusion that is the reality we see. Well, it's like that. Part of us have never left the Source and part of us came here on Earth as an ageless, timeless part of the One that has a human experience. Learn what it means to be human. This entire pandemic is calling for it. What is humanity. What is helping others. What is having a giving heart. What is it. See how other cultures define it. See where you fit in.

Now, the last question, my favorite: "What is the meaning of life?" Read the great philosophers - Kierkegaard, Sartre, Camus, Schopenhauer, Kant. In short - life has no meaning. It exists and it will exist even without you. You are a tiny spec in the Universe, smaller than the smallest piece of sand on Earth. Life exists without you, does not depend on you, will continue to exist even after you are no more.

And this is where it gets interesting. Even though life has no meaning it is your mission to fill your life with meaning, to fulfill it. That's where fulfilled comes from. You create the meaning. You are part of the creator and you are in charge of filling with meaning. With me, I have always known the general direction in which to go for the meaning. You can see it in the natal chart. However, I do have a very interesting discovery method about what I need to do, what I am called to do.

One way is to look into your akasha. That gives a lot of perspective and direction what to do. Another way is through asking before you sleep to go to the finer realms and receive instruction that you can remember when you wake up. Just don't forget to pray and to give thanks in advance. Another way is - by receiving feedback from others. Recently a lot of people keep telling me the same thing - how did you do it, how are you coping. We're talking multilingual literacy from a very early age with zero watching movies, clips or media. The usual, not an excuse, but sharing of difficulty, is that the kid doesn't want to learn and just wants to watch the tablet. So, I'll be sharing my experience with a larger audience soon.

What has your intuition told you about your path of life?

[aion-rsa]

How Legally Blonde Created a Feminist Hero Ahead of her Time

https://ift.tt/3d3pMjP

Twenty years ago, Legally Blonde’s Elle Woods burst onto our screens with her infectious can-do attitude and an early-2000s penchant for all things pink and fuzzy, from her jacket to her phone. Reese Witherspoon’s iconic sorority sister who goes to Harvard Law School in pursuit of an ex-boyfriend—dressed in head-to-toe pink, carrying a copy of the Bible (Cosmo, obvi)—didn’t jive with the era’s conception of a Strong Female Character, a la Trinity from The Matrix, Sarah Connor from the Terminator movies, or Lara Croft from the Tomb Raider franchise. Elle derives her strength from what many would deem her traditionally feminine character traits and pursuits, not in spite of them, like her undergraduate study of fashion and her focus on loyalty and cooperation rather than competition. While some fall for the trap of associating masculinity with strength and intelligence and femininity with conservatism and vapidity, Elle’s fans have always seen her for who she really is: a feminist ahead of her time.

Everything about Elle Woods is bubblegum pink femininity, from her wardrobe (“I don’t understand why you’re completely disregarding your signature color!”) and tiny purse dog Bruiser to her enthusiastic vernacular and name, derived from the 2000s teen fashion magazine, which also happens to be the French pronoun “she.” When Elle is frustrated, she channels the feeling into studying and achieving. When she’s rejected from a study group (essential to surviving law school), she politely takes her homemade treats and leaves. An early precursor to Annie Murphy’s Alexis Rose on Schitt’s Creek, Reese Witherspoon’s charm and relentless positivity help turn an archetype that’s normally considered shallow or even villainous into a fully-fledged character with depth and heart.

It’s easy to look at Elle Woods and the film Legally Blonde and discredit them both—and many have. She’s arguably let into the school based on her looks, and her own advisor made a mean joke about acing a class on polka dots, discrediting her fashion merchandising major. But don’t forget that she had a 4.0 GPA and a 179 on her LSAT (out of 180 possible points), making her a top candidate. She was also president of her sorority, involved in extracurriculars and philanthropy. Oh and that pink resume? It’s inspired by the true story of how the manuscript for the book that Legally Blonde was based on got scooped from the slush pile.

Legally Blonde doesn’t make fun of its heroine for her interest in feminine-coded pursuits like shopping or her penchant for the color pink. An early shopping scene, a spiritual sequel to the couplet in Pretty Woman, sets Elle up to be the butt of a saleswoman’s joke about stupid rich girls spending daddy’s money. Instead, Elle asks the woman a series of questions about the garment’s construction and provenance, the saleswoman agreeing to everything in pursuit of a sale, not realizing she has exposed her own ignorance and deception by doing so. Elle’s fashion education isn’t an air-headed pursuit, but a fulfilling interest as worthwhile as any other, one where accumulating knowledge can come in just as handy as knowing about political science.

Legally Blonde is a fish-out-of-water story, so while Elle’s hobbies are no less important than how her Harvard classmates spend their time, they’re certainly different. She uses her specialized knowledge to figure out parts of the Brooke Windham case (Ali Larter), like realizing that gay men are more likely to know shoe designers than straight ones (even if that’s a bit, uh, reductive), and using her shared interests with Brooke to help make her time while incarcerated more comfortable and gain her trust, so that Brooke would share her alibi. The coup de grace, of course, is Elle’s use of perm knowledge to expose Linda Cardelini’s socialite daughter lying on the stand, causing her to crack and confess to killing her father, exonerating Elle’s client Brooke.

Throughout the movie, Elle is happiest in women-dominated spaces that focus on community and collaborative support, traits typically associated with femininity. When she was prepping for a proposal from Warner and then nursing the heartache afterwards, it was as much a Delta Nu experience as it was her own. Once Elle decides to go to law school, the entire sorority pitches in, helping her study for the LSAT and make her video essay. When Elle gets to Cambridge, she once again seeks solace at a nail salon, a place where women take care of one another and give advice, even if they are strangers at first. And it’s no coincidence that, when Elle quits working on the Brooke Windham case and wants to leave Harvard altogether, she cries her eyes out at the nail salon, where Professor Stromwell (a pitch-perfect Holland Taylor) overhears her plight.

Warner tells Elle, “If I’m going to be a senator, I need to marry a Jackie, not a Marilyn.” In the world of Legally Blonde, women don’t have to choose. You can be a shy manicurist, but also have a killer bend-and-snap. You can be a strict law professor who also goes to the salon and has her student’s back when a colleague sexually harasses her. It’s fitting that, for Elle’s moment of triumph, when she takes the lead in Brooke Windham’s case, Elle makes her entrance in her signature color: vibrant pink. Since her first class at Harvard, Elle started cosplaying as a normie law student, her clothing getting darker and more traditional to match her surroundings. She traded in her pink-lensed sunglasses for reading glasses. When it was time for Elle to have her crowning moment of achievement, though, she did it by looking and acting like herself, and relying on the knowledge and drive that got her to Harvard in the first place—pink sparkles and all.

Elle’s mother doesn’t want her to “throw away” being the first runner up in the Miss Hawaiian Tropics contest to go to law school, but over the course of the film, Elle proves that she doesn’t have to choose between the two. Furthermore, she doesn’t have to choose between love and a career, or settle for a guy who doesn’t appreciate her for the powerhouse that she is. While Warner is the catalyst for Elle’s journey into jurisprudence, he quickly shows himself to be something of a “bonehead” once they’re both in Cambridge, telling Elle she’ll never be smart enough to win a coveted internship spot, encouraging Elle to break her word to their client once she does get the internship, and then never noticing the sexism of their professor who only asks the women to fetch him food and drink. Eventually, Warner does come around, like all of Elle’s classmates and teachers, but by then she has the self-worth to tell him to take a hike.

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Speaking of Warner, when he shows up in Cambridge he comes with his preppy fiancé Vivian Kensington (Selma Blair, in a mini Cruel Intentions reunion). Vivian and Elle were set up to compete over not only Warner, but grades and career opportunities, like Professor Callahan’s internship. The film’s first act sees a bit of bad blood and back and forth. As the rivals see one another’s legal prowess and come to see the sexism in their field from powerful men like Callahan (and the way less powerful men like Warner either don’t see or pretend not to), they grow closer. Eventually, Warner reveals his low character while Elle displays her loyalty by keeping Brooke’s alibi a secret, and the two drop Warner and their competition to become friends instead. For young women watching, it’s a valuable lesson that other women and girls aren’t your competition—they’re your allies.

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Elle and Legally Blonde aren’t perfect—her journey started out in pursuit of her ex-boyfriend, and classmate Enid was probably right that many women in sororities would call her a dyke and mistreat her. It’s a shame Elle never finds common ground with the one woman in the film who’s an actual avowed feminist. But people grow, and Legally Blonde allowed its heroine the room to do that, even after the credits rolled. Elle Woods has inspired many women to become lawyers, and it’s easy to see why. She believes in herself and others, fights for her friend Paulette’s dog, and fights back against sexual harassment. But even for those who aren’t interested in the law, Elle’s way of winning people over by being kind, supportive, and “using her blonde for good” sends an important message that traditionally femme traits and esthetics are powerful in their own right.

The post How Legally Blonde Created a Feminist Hero Ahead of her Time appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[darkestwolfx]

Earthbreaker - Re-Review#27

Here we go, the start of Series 2!

This is another machine that looks a little bit like the Sidewinder (TOS). Hmmm, I can see why the episode is called Earthbreaker though. I mean, look at the earth. Big clues there.

“We’ve got ourselves another gold rush.”

“Except it’ts scandium ore, not gold.”

“Ten times as valuable though. Ker-ching.”

Nothing like it, ey, money makes the world go around! And where there are money making opportunities, you can expect to find The Hood! Except, oh yeah, the part where he was like caught and put in a GDF prison at the end of the last series.

Oh well, no bad guys. Unless of course, you can find an accomplice of The Hood to fill the gap!

So this looks a little like our new villain! But we’ll get to him a bit later, folks. For now, let’s put our attention on our main family here.

“Let’s go in strong. Three ships at least.”

Oh really? Scott will never agree to that Kayo.

“Agreed.”

Okay... they clearly resolved their differences in the break.

“Virgil, Kayo, get ready to fly.” 

“Anything Alan and I can do?”

Look at Gordon itching to get out and in on the action.”

“Just hold down the fort.”

“We could build one right here out of sofa cushions.”

Those faces there say it all, Alan! They are like *speechless*, *don’t know how to respond*, *oh Alan*, and *what on earth did you just say?* faces. I love it!

“Or not.”

Yeah, or not.

EOS is back! EOS is back, this is a big thing everyone - and google images doesn’t have like a single shot of her from this ep. Literally I searched for ages and there is nothing. I gave up because I couldn’t be bothered to keep on searching. I think I got to page 12...

“EOS, this looks like a life reading. Can you get a more detailed scan?”

“Of course, John.”

“Woah.”

“It appears to be the driver.”

“Yeah. He doesn’t look very friendly either.”

“I’m five minutes out. Where are the GDF?”

“On approach now.”

Yes, because they fared so well even with their “weapons clearance”.

Anyhow, don’t worry, because International Rescue have arrived to save the day!

“Colonel Casey?”

“Stay back, Thunderbird One. We’re still accessing the situation. That’s an order, Scott.”

“FAB. Standing by.”

Grandma strikes right again too - definitely be more interested in who is driving it. He’s dangerous and he’ll be back.

“Do we take that as a yes?”

In my opinion Virgil, never take silence as a yes. This is what happens as well so it seems.

“I told you to stay away.”

“Who are you?”

“I am The Mechanic. and if you’re Thunderbird comes any closer, I’ll break it as well.”

And now we have a name. Still, we’ll discuss him later, let’s continue with the story for now.

“This is my ship and I say not a chance.”

Got to love that giant green determination.

Thunderbird Two makes it back safely! That’s a testament to the pilot really. In both TAG and TOS we get displays of Virgil’s calm and skill. In TOS, Thunderbird Two crash landed at Tracy Island in ‘Terror in New York’ after being shot at by the US Navy’s new Sentinel... Oopps. In TAG, it’s a case of mechanical sabotage (add in a little stubborn will). In both cases though, the issues are similar - rear damage to the engines and the possibility of fire or cut outs.

In TOS, Scott is encouraging Virgil to make it a little further to the Island. In TAG however, Scott is the one who almost orders for Virgil to

“The landing will be way too risky, Virgil, you need to ditch her in the ocean.”

Now, my theory on this is that in TOS the boys still had their father, and were a bit older than they are in this series (not too much, but enough). In TAG, they have lost Jeff and so I think it makes sense that they have more understanding of their own mortality and less super human thinking (or visuals for us anyhow). In TAG, their also seems to be more thought into keeping the original Thunderbirds as in tact as they can - upgrades and modifications, yes, but as original as possible. Where as in TOS there’s less consideration of the machines. Maybe it’s just the different ways in which the two series are written, but in TAG, it definitely seems to be that keeping the Thunderbirds as much the same as the way their Dad built them, really matters to these boys.

It was a pretty good remake of the crash landing too, as well as being perfectly original in its own senses. And hey, Virgil didn’t get knocked out this time! But Thunderbird Two did still get drenched in fire suppressant foam. Oh well, you can’t have it all.

“I don’t know who this Mechanic fellow is, but I’ll bet dollars to doughnuts he’s getting some help from The Hood.”

“Uh, Grandma, The Hood’s in prison.”

And Grandma calls it right again! Anyone want to give her a third go this episode?

Interesting method of rescue. We’ve never seen anything like this before... And Kayo’s off doing her snooping. Love a bit of spy work.

Speaking of...

Here is something of a conversation... or should that be interrogation, but subtly?

“You know, Ma’am, hI ‘ave ways to make ‘im talk.”

“I think Miss Creighton-Ward is doing just fine on her own, Parker.”

No! I wanted to see what Parker had up his sleeve, Colonel Casey and I bet others out there did too, someone dare to prove me wrong. Go on.

“This look suits you. Stripes.”

“Yes, and red suits you. We can chit-chat all day if you like, but I suspect you’re here because someone is in trouble. Perhaps something worse than me has come to pass?”

“You mean The Mechanic? Oh, he’s well in hand by now. His first mistake was taking shots at the GDF; his last was taking shots at my friends.”

“This has nothing to do with me, of course. Being in here!”

“Certainly not. This Mechanic fellow has none of your guile and sophistication.”

Look at that creepy eye going.

So these are Mecca’s.

And this is The Mechanic.

Let’s finally discuss what we know about the villain.

“This guy is untouchable, Brains.”

“I believe The Mechanic is using Null-Point Energy in a recombinant distribution matrix.”

So, I’m trying to write this like I know nothing of how this whole story and character pans out, just so we can note the development along the way - so I know we do know more than this, but run with this level of knowledge in keeping with the current reruns of the show.

So we know he’s good with tech. That’s a first.

He’s connected to The Hood in someway for a second.

He can hack EOS, for a third - and John is good with tech so that is saying something.

And he knows Brains, that’s our fourth.

He looks like quite the bad guy actually... Little bit worrying for us.

Now, expanding on all this - back when series 2 of TAG first started, I read an interesting theory that suggested The Mechanic was meant to be in someway like or be the Black Phantom from the original series (Thunderbird Six) who was also mentioned by the IR impostors in the episode ‘The Impostors’ and was clearly supposed to be the person they were working for.

Now, we never really got to know much about Black Phantom, other than the fact that he ran his operations much like The Hood. In fact, Sylvia Anderson apparently referred to him on set as “Hood Jr.” which of course, could just be a nickname she chose to give the character, or could be implying a possible blood relation. ‘The Complete Book of Thunderbirds’ then took this one step further by implying that Black Phantom and The Hood were indeed the same person. Now, of course, there is every chance of this potentially being true as we know the Hood is capable of changing his face, and that he is called The Hood because he has so many alias’ that no one knows his real name.

Of course that above theory would cut The Mechanic out from being the Black Phantom, but it was still a worthwhile penny to flick into our thought space. Personally I don’t think The Mechanic and Black Phantom are the same person, but the post did raise interesting points about their shared traits of shadowy intelligence and ruthless actions. I think these are definitely the kind of characteristics that The Hood looks for in employees and so I can see where the idea came from.

Returning back to the idea of The Hood and Black Phantom being either related or the same person - just quickly to finish this whole section - The Hood is “feared as the most dangerous man in the world”, where as Black Phantom was noted as “utterly ruthless”. In many ways, these two elements and traits can and do cross over. It is likely to think that if The Hood is regarded as the most dangerous man in the world, that he is known to be capable of being ruthless. As a counterpart, if someone if known to be ruthless, let alone utterly, you would probably regard them with caution and consider them a potential danger at the very least.

In case it makes any difference - especially as it could have just been complete coincidence - The Hood’s original puppet was remade into Black Phantom for the sake of the Thunderbird Six movie, so who knows, maybe...

Oh, and the above I’ve included just because I like it and I wanted to put it here. I don’t know who made the original gif, but credit to them.