#bonus points if it's

[txxty]

do you even understand how BADLY i need mike to have a mental breakdown in s5.

like i need him sobbing so bad that he cant even speak a full sentence without sobbing even worse

[just-prompt-things]

best trope and you can fight me over it (i abuse this so hard with my ocs)

[sylusbitch]

my favorite hc is that penelope was told by the ladies in waiting to go and stay in her room and not to come out for anyone

and she hears screams and whatnot and is like oh fuck now theyve done it, the suitors are gonna destroy the place

only to hear the screams lessen in volume and being like ? are they killing each other?

but then she hears a scream clear as day "THIS WILL BE YOUR FATE" and she's like🧍‍♀️no fuckin shot my husband is down there on a murder spree

and she immediately starts pacing back and forth like "LADIES HELP ME PREPARE I NEED TO LOOK DIVINE" and it's a full makeover sequence

and they're posing her and being like "hold on, tilt your chin up a little bit, turn to the side like 12 degrees- BOOM my lady you are serving such cunt"

and then they hear odysseus' loud ass steps going up the stairs and all the ladies scatter while penelope tries to look nonchalant like "AHEM....😳 is it you? have my prayers been answered?"

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

historical drama/sitcom where two gay best friends (woman and man) get lavender married--and proceed to spend the Fancy European Honeymoon their parents paid for acting as each other's wingman

[emotional-piece-of-meat]

Let me introduce you to this concept: batkids pick a silly t-shirt of the week, in which Brucie will be “accidentally” caught by the paparazzi.

Dick, as a millennial he is, chooses something with mottos like yolo or jokes about coffee. He also has a special love for quotes and puns, which nobody but him finds funny.

Jason does not participate, because he refuses to think about Bruce more than it’s absolutely necessary. And if some t-shirt reminds him of his dad Bruce, well, he just passes by.

Barbara, although she has a wonderful sense of humour, uses her power to spread awareness instead. When an important social or political event takes place in Gotham and beyond its chapels, the choice is hers.

Cass loves matching t-shirts, because it makes her feel that she belongs. Every time it's her turn to pick, newspapers spread out the touching headlines like “Bruce Wayne was caught with his daughter in I'm with stupid t-shirts”.

Steph simply goes to the women's department and chooses one of those ugly Eiffel Tower or a rhinestone “princess” t-shirt. They're also usually pretty tight, and, trust me, the press just loves it.

Tim wake up and choose violence Drake prints t-shirts himself, always putting some brainrot words on them. That's how “what a sigma” and “skibidi toilet rizzler” appeared in Bruce's wardrobe.

Damian takes great pride in his t-shirts, because he draws pictures on them by hand. Nobody could convince him that it's not, in fact, a competition, and he has to make sure that he is winning.

Duke always gives Bruce some niche band t-shirts. Plot twist? These bands do not exist. He just creates them himself and then proceeds to gaslight people, because “what do you mean you don't know batshit on the rooftop? You, uncultured pig! Their music literally changed my life!”.

[aerequets]

ok i love twiyor reveals but can we talk about BRIAR SIBLING REVEAL??

i honestly do not know what yor's reaction would be, but i imagine that she took up such a violent and demanding job so yuri could live as peacefully as possible. so, when she finds out he's gone down an equally violent path, maybe she would blame herself for not keeping him safe.

or something :]

[humming-fly]

was anyone gonna tell me shadow saved rouge's life in sa2 or was I just supposed to find that out playing the game myself

(this worked out as a rather fitting closer for the Final Day in Year of Shadow haha, hope ya'll have a fun new year! 🎉🎉🎉)

[isjasz]

♟️❄️🏜️ Secret santa for @calocreek <3!!

[xpupslxtx]

i cannot stop thinking about roughhousing. i want tickling and laughing that turns into wrestling that gets a little more serious and heated, until one of us is pinned down, both breathing hard and making out and thighs pressed in between each others legs and hickeys and bite marks all over and trying so hard not to be the one that cums first and failing, ending up getting fucked hard by the winner until you’re so drunk on all your orgasms you couldn’t fight back if you tried

[prlssprfctn]

Every time another joke about Batman/Bruce Wayne passes by me, I can't help but imagine that the whole rumour about these two dating was originally (and probably accidentally) created by Bruce himself.

Just imagine, a teen Bruce, still only starting with his vigilante career, makes a crucial mistake - he pays with his own credit card in front of people, while being Batman. A stupid, absolutely instinctive mistake, but in his defence he wasn't sleeping normally for a week, and had an open wound in his stomach that day, so. Whoops.

And then someone asks Bruce Wayne about it, in front of a thousand cameras. And he blurts out the first thing that comes to his mind.

Reporter: So, mister Wayne, recently citizens had reported that they saw Batman paying for the damage in the city... with your credit card. Care to explain details behind this?

Bruce, smiling stupidly: Oh, he is my ex. I sometimes sponsor him.

The crowd: (goes wild)

Alfred, starting at the interview back in the Batcave: ...We are never going to get rid of this, are we?

And guess what? They don't!

Bruce thinks that with time passing, with his love interests switching and new rumours spawning in the world, they might forget about it. He was young, he was stupid - he fucked up, alright?

But decades pass. He has a whole football team of kids. Everyone still ship Bruce and Batman.

And when this stupid video accidentally gets resurfaced on the internet again, his family goes insane. They start creating even more stupid rumours on galas.

Reporter: Mister Wayne... For years now, the crowds are speculating... Who is exactly your mother, and where is she now?

Damian, sighing pitifully: My father and my mother don't enjoy contacting each other, sadly. My mom says that their relationship was just a rebound; father desperately tries to forget Batman... Still, to this day.

Bruce, gripping the glass of champagne: ...

Talia, watching this interview with Ra's: Now, that's my son right there.

Dick: Oh, why I was screaming at Batman in the middle of the street a few days ago? Oh, this bastard- I mean, this respectable vigilante, he dared to get in the argument with Bruce. He can't really leave him alone, really! They are so insane about each other... So toxic, but so, uh, captivating... But you know, Bruce! He has such a fragile heart...

Gotham: Aw-w, poor mister Wayne!

Bruce, sighing: Jesus Christ.

Tim, shaking his head to the camera: I hate Red Robin, really. Did you know that his existence is just a direct offence to my father? Yeah, actually, Batman took this kid under his wing with another man - I am not going to tell who - to make dad jealous. This is disgusting!

Jason, who returned from the death by pretending that all this time he was under the child protection system after becoming an accidental witness of the second Robin's death: Oh, yeah, it was tough... Poor kid exploded in front of my eyes! Reporter: But, mister Todd-Wayne, what were you doing in that warehouse?

Jason, wiping fake tears: They were like my divorced parents, you know... Batman and Bruce. Batman really tried to mend things with dad back then, and wanted me to like him... We just wanted to spend some time together with him, and that Robin kid... God, it was terrible... Batman refuses to contact me now. I miss my second dad...

Bruce, back in the Batcave, watching as Batman's reputation goes lower and lower: ........................... Alfred: Well, master Bruce... Bruce: Not a word. Al. Please.

[ahoyimlosingmymind]

need more fics where Jason is told by one of the batfam that they're "Happy he's alive" and he either stares blankly at them or his eyes well with tears he can't control and before he can stop himself he's like "What?" and it sounds like a whisper, like he's positive he misheard. and the family member repeats themselves, feeling suddenly like they've stepped onto a landmine. and then-

"no one's said that to me. since i've been back." and Jason doesn't mean to say it, but he hadn't really realized it himself until that moment and it feels like his chest is cracking open where he stands, and his eyelashes feel clumpy, and his throat has a stone pushing up against his vocal chords.

Some subconscious part of him has always felt it-- has been aware he's never been told directly that anyone is happy he's alive and back... but now it's out there in the world, and he realizes he's been waiting on it for years. He's been waiting to be told that someone is happy he's alive. He wonders, briefly, if those words might have fixed everything in the early days. If he had just felt like Bruce wanted him back, if he had just felt that Bruce didn't see him as some cosmic mistake wearing the face of his dead son... would it have changed anything? He doesn't know. doesn't know if he wants to know.

because it didn't happen. the words were never said.

until now.

"no one?" the family member asks in dawning horror.

and the silence that follows is deafening.

[frownyalfred]

Bruce Wayne is so much stronger than me, because if I was him I would walk straight up to Lex Luthor at a fundraiser, lean down, and whisper you want to fuck Superman so bad it makes you look stupid in his ear before flitting away with zero context.

[ketunhanska]

The Garden of Death, after Hugo Simberg

little homage to Simberg with Emmrich, Manfred and my Ingellvar :3 i started out intending to make this a stylistic pastiche as well but it did NOT work out., however im very happy with how it ended up looking like in my style! :)

[prokopetz]

Canon compliant

Canon compatible

Canon complacent

Canon comparable

Canon compulsive

Canon competitive

Canon competent

Canon compassionate

Canon complementary

Canon comprehensible

Canon companionable

Canon compressible

Canon complexifying

Canon compensatory

Canon complicit

[egophiliac]

still ruminating over Lost In the Book With Spooky Skeletons Part 1, so here's a selection of some of my favorite little bits! (...some more loosely paraphrased than others) (I just feel like Idia has no room to criticize in general, okay)

anyway, I'm sure we're just going to have a fun time celebrating Halloween and nothing bad is going to happen whatsoever! :)