#boi oh boi 🥴

[marclef]

Since Fake Pep has a few cat-like attributes like purring, there’s something I gotta know…

Does he knead like a cat?

well of course! isn't that an essential part of making a pizza?

those skills come pretty handy, until you're Peppino at midnight when a certain Fake decides he wants to share the bed with you.....

[limacrisps]

Happy 8/3 Day! 🩷💚🩷💚🩷💚

Colored by: @interflowstudios

Inspired by 'Cotton Candy - Ruffin' 🩷💚

[nburkhardt]

At first he didn’t even know it was happening because he was working the late shifts and crashing over at Robin’s since they drove together. So, it wasn’t bothering him.

Then one random Saturday causes a domino effect.

They’re minding their own business, he’s in the middle of starting something for dinner while she’s figuring out what they’re watching and telling him about her failure of a date-not-a-date with Vickie.

“I’m telling you, Steven! She is not bisexual, I flirted, offered to play and had that lipstick Nance totally said looked good and I- what the fuck?” Her voice immediately squeaks out as his whole fucking apartment vibrates as loud as all hell, Metallica starts playing from under them.

He looks down at the floor, as if that’ll answer what just happened. It’s still playing, still loud as fuck and making his second hand chairs shift and knock over, “maybe the downstairs neighbor is having a party?” He offers loudly, looking over his shoulder to spy at her, she’s still sitting on the counter with the remote on the floor now.

“Sure?” She offers back, and hops down to grab the remote, “isn’t it a bit early for it?”

He shrugs and continues stirring the pasta, “it’s Saturday, maybe they just got home?”

They both shrug at that before just focusing on their tasks, with the now loud metal music vibrating the floors. It could be worse, he supposes, it could be gun shots or some couple loudly having sex.

Which, isn’t something he wants to hear with his platonic soulmate.

Then again, he realizes mid dumping the pasta in the sauce, that they could still be doing that just covering it up with the music? He shakes the idea out and tries focusing back on the food and listening to Robin venting.

It went on until fucking four in the morning.

But it was a Saturday. So, he didn’t see a need to complain too much. He remembers hosting parties in high school at his parent’s house and how loud they got too. Weekends are meant for excitement anyway, he usually has Sundays off anyway.

That wasn’t the last time though.

Since he works most weekdays and Robin promises ice cream and gossip after work, he spends nights on her couch instead of making the drive back to his place. Saturdays at his place because are saved for when it’s his turn to cook, so it becomes a pattern at four in the afternoon some loud music starts, goes on until four in the morning.

It’s annoying, but at least it’s just Saturdays.

That is until Robin decides to switch jobs on him and he of course, follows her to the new toy store that opened and with the promise of more benefits and morning shifts, he’s happy to get some relaxing evenings off.

After his first day of work spending it training and avoiding kids running under his feet, all he wants to do is crash on his nice warm bed.

But as soon as he gets to his door, the floor is vibrating. At first he thinks it’s just from a neighbor vacuuming with the world’s shittiest vacuum, shrugs and makes his way into his apartment. It’s only as he shuts the door and drops his keys on the table and they jump right out that next second.

That’s when he noticed his whole apartment is fucking vibrating and the sounds of loud screaming registers in his head. Again like the first time, he stared down at his floor. Wondering if the downstairs neighbor has shitty hearing or covering the sounds of loud sex.

Oh and that they know that it’s fucking Monday.

He mentions it the next day to Robin and they decide maybe it was a fluke and his neighbor just forgot what day it was.

It happens on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

He’d get home to a vibrating floor and loud as fuck music from below that lasts until four in the morning.

Friday rolls around, he takes it off for a doctors appointment. After the appointment and some errands, he gets home at three. Spends the time relaxing and eating leftovers, texts Robin about their plans for the weekend when at four o’clock, he hears the start of music. Then within a few minutes, he feels his couch start to shift and then everything else starts to vibrate.

“What the fuck, man.” He mumbles to himself as he stares at the stupid sailor boy figure slowly moves on his table, before it falls to the ground.

It’s annoying, but it’s okay he can handle this. He doesn’t need to say anything. The rest of the evening goes on, the music isn’t his favorite (mostly metal, some rock songs thrown in. Dio and Metallica are played the most) but it’s okay. The vibrations are annoying, but isn’t actually harming him. So, he goes about his routine.

What breaks him is the migraine that wakes him up; it’s the nausea that really wakes him up, not the still loud as fuck music playing. After the wave of nausea goes away, he looks at his phone.

Staring brightly at him is 3:00am.

Blinking, he groans and drops back on his pillows. He stares up at his ceiling, head starting to pulse with pain while he starts to notice the vibrations. The song switches to another screaming voice- then it gets louder and it’s only when his eyes start to burn from pain that he’s throwing his covers off with a determination.

He pounds on the door in only his sweats. The pounding in his head is just about lined up to the pounding from his hand, when the door swings open to reveal a guy with long curly, a dark red sweater and black sweats on. But the thing that really stands out is the fucking sunglasses.

Music is no longer playing, he doesn’t see anyone else in view, just the guy in the sunglasses.

“Oh hello there” The guy smirks at him, leaning against his door.

He shakes his head, which hurts but it clears enough for him to focus on his determination. “Hi, look can you just do your party or whatever this is, on the weekends? You’re making my apartment vibrate, man. I really don’t mind it, but I get migraines sometimes and this- whatever it is- has been happening for a while.”

The guy leans there and the smirk dies down but still sorta there. He pulls off his sunglasses and the world’s most adorable fucking Bambi eyes stare at him, even in the fogginess of the migraine, he could tell this man is gorgeous.

But now isn’t the time to focus on that. It’s stupid o’clock, he has a migraine and work in the morning. All he needs right now is the promise of easing up on the loud music.

Bambi eyes blinks at him then looks backwards into his apartment before looking at him again, he frowns and crosses his arms, a sheepish look crosses his face. “My bad, sweetheart. I’ll try to remember that. I didn’t think it was that bad-“

He doesn’t know what causes it but he blurts it out anyway, “it’s not bad! It’s not my favorite but it’s fine! Just the building has ridiculously thin everything”

Bambi blinks at him again and he curses his lack of filter, looks anywhere but at the face in front of him. The silence is weird but it’s that, that makes him notice that no one has called out for the music to start, hasn’t seen someone walk over and he processes the sweater and sweats combo that makes him blink at him, “Are you alone?”

There’s confusion across Bambi’s face, and holy shit this guy is adorable- it’s not the time! He scolds himself. Bambi takes another look behind himself and Steve gets the perfect view of a blush climb it’s way up Bambi’s neck and up his face. Then he looks back, “yep, just practicing. Trying to learn some new songs, only time I get.” He huffs a laugh, “didn’t know it could make the building vibrate, think you could forgive me?”

He can only nod, fighting his own blush. The guy looks smug, even if he’s getting told to stop this.

“Uh yeah, yeah. Thank you, honestly.” He can feel his cheeks heat up, “anyway, I should really get back to my room.” He awkwardly throws his thumb over his shoulder, “I’ll see you around”

As he shifts to walk away, he catches another smirk on Bambi’s face, it makes him pause just a moment before he actually goes to leave.

“Oh, for sure, sweetheart!”

Pulling the noise canceling earplugs out and the start of Master of Puppets starts, he rolls his eyes at the clock staring at him.

3:45AM

He throws off his blankets and slips out of the bed to leave the room. A fond smile spreads as he leans against the wall, in the corner is one of his favorite sights. Sleep has him in a sappy mood, he moves after a moment to tap a shoulder and it’s as he’s pulling out the earplug that he hears, “sorry sweetheart, got an idea and couldn’t help myself”

Steve rolls his eyes, “Eds, you were asleep with him.”

Eddie shrugs, placing the guitar on its stand before standing up and throws an arm around him pulling him close, “just had inspiration hit, sweetheart. I’ll finish it later, sleep now!”

He lets him lead him back to the bedroom and as they get comfortable under the covers, looking over at the clock on the wall, there clear as day it reads; 4:15AM.

~~~~

That ending is terrible but I’m starting to really feel my edible now and I can kinda tell this is starting to make absolutely no sense 🥴

It’s based off a tweet I saw earlier that said: “The apartment below us used to blast dance music from 4 PM to 4 AM every day it made our furniture vibrate. We assumed they were hosting pandemic parties? One night at 1 AM Brie went down there to beg for mercy and it was literally just one guy wearing sunglasses.” And I immediately thought of Eddie fucking doing that and Steve being done with it, and knocking on Eddie’s door. SO! I wrote this… sorry if the formatting is weird or it just doesn’t make much sense. I’m high, tried & rambling…. So I’m stopping this and just posting lol.

Oh it’s probably a litttttle late but this based on modern times 🫡

[zarophod]

i am only human i am no exception to falling in love with the cunty gay vampire elf

[brothersonahotelbed]

nico you're the best boy ever and don't you forget it <3 you're handsome and you are so fucking good at playing guitar and your voice is angelic (like i'm being so serious i could fall asleep to it every day it's so beautiful/handsome). you're so funny and kind and you deserve everything good! ily mwah mwah never forget what you're capable of because you are so strong and so brave about everything <333

SNIFFLES. OKAY. I LOVE YOU.

[viridian-vulpes]

Sometimes I am okay at art 😩

It’s one of my- pause while I check my notes… 98 ocs for a specific au

[awek-s]

applied to 2 jobs today I think that’s the extent of my abilities

[bubaboos]

lmaooo

[vveissesfleisch]

“AS YOU SINK INTO THE DARKNESS, CALL OUT HIS NAME, SEE IF HE REPLIES…OR IF YOU MUST HEAR THE ETERNAL SILENCE!”

YES!!! YES!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Y E S S S S S S S!!!!!!

[kharonion]

🔲✔️💤 for Vikt from the NSFW headcanons? 👀

nsfw headcanons × oc list

🔲 - In general - How long does it take for them to have sex with someone they find appealing if that someone shows interest into them as well?

This is a bit tough for him. Vikt is a virgin until the bout on the yacht, and as such, his experience with initiating sex is nonexistent. He knows nothing. So, when Kerry shows clear interest, Vikt has no concept of doing anything else other than reciprocate if he shares the sentiment. And in that instance, he definitely does. So I guess the answer is pretty hecking quick.

✔️ - Which things do they enjoy especially when having sex?

• When Kerry gets mouthy, especially at the pulse of his neck, collarbone, shoulders, and hips. This goes double for biting and sucking so hard it leaves marks. • Being able to look into Kerry's eyes. Face-to-face sex is almost a necessity for them; they both love being able to see the other's responses. • Having his hair pulled. Especially when Kerry does it to better access his neck. • Being called "pretty boy." If Vikt is feeling submissive at the time, this hits extra hard, to the point he might start to beg; alternatively, if he's a bit more feisty, it makes him double down on his efforts to drive Kerry goddamn wild. • Ripping shirts off. Listen, Vikt is a Strong Boi... and sometimes, a Really Hungry Boi. There're days he's a bit... ravenous, and it really turns both him and Kerry on when Vikt just. Splits Kerry's shirt open with his bare hands.

💤 - In which position would they like to sleep in with their partner afterward? And what position are they likely to end up in instead?

[answered — but I copied it here!] After sex, Vikt always spoons Kerry. Holds him tight and presses as close as possible, wrapping his legs around to better do so. Not just to feel Kerry against him still, but also to act as a protector and a shield as Kerry dozes off. They either stay like that the entire night, Vikt shifts to lay on his back with Kerry still wrapped in an arm, or Vikt becomes the little spoon instead.

[fawnoir]

Thoughts time!!! Im not butch in a I can fix things and get dirty way. I actually have poor hand eye coordination and less than ideal motor skills. I cannot pay attention long enough to follow directions to put furniture together and I hate touching dirt or any substance my OCD or sensory issues deem to be Bad. I’m butch in the “hey that boy is a little malnourished and small for his age and looks like he shops exclusively at zumiez and old navy”. My pockets will have at least one fidget spinner and tamagotchi at all times. I do not have a problem with this or my interests. First of all, I’m black so I’m extra hot. I’ve got curly hair a gorgeous smile and dark brown eyes. My speech patterns very much give socialized female but I do speak in a masculine way too. Btw my therapist recently told me she thinks I’m autistic, but I’ve made it this long without any sort of ‘intervention’ so it’s not a huge deal. I’m realizing that I 100% mask and unmask. I’m totally myself at home with my friends but can switch how I speak at work. It’s exhausting as fuck but I’m very much used to it.

[halfchick]

Almost a month till my 30th birthday…………….

[evilaccountant]

Finally got around to finishing JLU and wow... superman 😳

[lewisvinga]

get his ass ! | lando norris/the grid x fem! reader

summary: y/n was loved among the grid, quickly gaining the title of ‘the mother of the grid’ due to her motherly nature. but when a famous football player says he’d like to take her on a date in an interview, the boys are quick to defend her.

fc; maria isabel

warnings; kinda suggestive pics , curse words

notes; requested! this came later than expected lol, been super tired after a long road trip and was out all day w poor connection😩🥲 don’t mind my lil football reference 🤭🤭 also second pic of the interview was meant to say pretty at the end but it was called off lol😞

masterlist !

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 940,038 others!

yourusername: pov: single mother after a day full of chasing and taking care of her 5 grown children on the paddock

tagged; landonorris, oscarpiastri, alex_albon, logansargeant, georgerussell63

username: MOTHER IS BACK ON THE PADDOCK

username: i want u fr

landonorris: ‘single mother’ who am i then?😕

yourusername: a grown child who asks me to ‘pretty please’ wipe the grease off of his pizza😁

landonorris: it was disgustingly greasy…🤢

username: LMFAOOAOAO

username: a single mom who works 2 jobs who loves her kids

yourusername: they get on my nerves all the time but i love my grown children 💓

logansargeant: sorry mom

yourusername: you and osc are an exception

alex_albon: oh, wow!

oscarpiastri: 😁

georgerussell63: you trying to say something, y/n….

yourusername: yeah give me carmen

carmenmmundt: i agree!

georgerussell63: wait-

username: you need to open a youtube channel!

username: your fit on the paddock ate today 😩

username: the picture of alex and logan w the snake 😭😭😭😭

username: can always count on y/n for content

yourusername posted to their story!

[caption 1; baby’s nap time 😴] [caption 2; taking my sons out for lunch 🫶🫶] [caption 3; my new child, surprise! it’s a boy!💙]

Jude Bellingham answers your fan questions!

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 1,503,028 others!

landonorris: all mine.

tagged; yourusername

yourusername: lando norris…. i thought you’d post this on your jpg account…

landonorris: nope😁

yourusername: could’ve been worse thank u

yourusername: all yours. forever. 🫶

landonorris: always.

username: so y’all saw jude’s interview too…

username: caption was 100% aimed a jude

alex_albon: can i tag him pls

yourusername: no.

landonorris: yes!

yourusername: no or i won’t take you to get kbbq tmrw

alex_albon: sorry lando

username: alex’s comment😭

username: oh wow

username: the 2nd, 4th, n last pic🥴🥴🥴🥴

username: their relationship isn’t a want it’s a NEED

logansargeant: oh!

yourusername: look away pls😞😔

landonorris: no keep looking so you and every other athlete knows she’s mine 😁

username: jealous lando omg 😵‍💫😵‍💫

maxverstappen1: take that tap in merchant!

carlossainz55: yeah and he won against you guys! put some respect on his name 🙄

yourusername: my football rivalry sons…

landonorris: no i agree w max

username: not the culers and merengues of f1 fighting 😭😭

georgerussell63: my eyes!😰😰😰😰

georgerussell63: but that serves him right! y/n is a taken lady!

username: red is HER color, no one can wear read

username: the fit is everything 😍😍

username: need someone to recreate the last pic w 😖😖😣😣

oscarpiastri: i really had to stop lando from posting more exposing pictures, you’re welcome btw mother

landonorris: i had plenty of other ones to choose from…

yourusername: thank u osc😭

[anxietytwist]

𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐦 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐮́𝐝𝐞𝐳

“𝐂𝐚𝐥”

[ 𝟻'𝟷𝟷" | Nonbinary | BiDemi | 𝐇𝐚𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐧❤︎𝐍𝐢𝐱 ]

•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•

﴾𝕾𝖙𝖞𝖑𝖊﴿

ᴄᴀꜱᴜᴀʟ

ꜰᴏʀᴍᴀʟ

❅ They always wear the 𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘤𝘬𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 their mother bought them when they were 𝟷𝟷 ❅

ʜᴀɪʀ

“𝘓𝘰𝘯𝘨, 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬, & 𝘸𝘢𝘷𝘺” (kept up during training/combat/formal events…)

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﴾𝕮𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖊𝖘﴿

“𝐁𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐬”

♂️ (Bashkir Curly Horse)

𝗣𝗲���𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆: Despite being a powerful warhorse, 𝐁𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐬 is an absolute 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘧𝘣𝘢𝘭𝘭

“𝐋𝐮𝐞𝐬”

♀️ (Golden Tabby Tiger)

𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆: She may be intimidating, but 𝐋𝐮𝐞𝐬 is a total 𝘭𝘢𝘻𝘺 𝘣𝘰𝘯𝘦 once she's off-duty

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﴾𝕹𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖘﴿

ᴛɪᴛʟᴇ➙ “𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫”

��ʀᴏɴᴏᴜɴꜱ➙ They/Them ʙᴜɪʟᴅ➙ 𝘈𝘵𝘩𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘤

ꜰᴀᴋᴇ-ᴅᴀᴛᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ➙ 𝐇𝐚𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐧 ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇ ꜱʏᴍʙᴏʟ➙ ❄️

ᴡᴇᴀᴘᴏɴ➙ 𝘚𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥/𝘏𝘢𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘳

ʀᴜɴᴇꜱ➙ ...

ᴇʟᴇᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʟ ᴀʙɪʟɪᴛɪᴇꜱ➙ Ice blast, freezing parts of/total freezing of enemies ꜱᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟ ᴀʙɪʟɪᴛɪᴇꜱ➙ Fury Explosion

At 𝟷ˢᵗ hearing about 𝐇𝐚𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐧'𝐬 tryst greatly upset them… but after considering the political reason for his decision, they were able to bury their jealousy deep down (but it still festered 🫠)

𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐦 prefers their friends to call them by their nickname: “𝐂𝐚𝐥”

They're touch-averse (but are comfortable PERSONALLY making contact with a select few people... & even enjoying it if it's 𝐇𝐚𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐧, his touch is warm & kind 🥺), the only loving touch they experienced growing up was from their mother & 𝐒𝐢𝐫 𝐅𝐢𝐨𝐧; after her death, & their 𝟷ˢᵗ time on a battlefield, they began to HATE physical contact 😣

Even though their fathers DESPISE each other, 𝐂𝐚𝐥 & 𝐇𝐚𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐧 get along surprisingly well (agreeing to be fake-date partners has the added bonus of annoying their fathers >:] + they've been mutually crushing on one another since that time at the fountain)

They don't enjoy killing or looking at dead bodies, but their upbringing & unfortunate personal experiences have left them desensitized to a degree (they sadly still have nightmares about everything, though) 💀😮‍💨

𝐂𝐚𝐥 is extroverted, yet shy (mostly due to how others tend to view/treat them), they enjoy going to parties but prefer to “soak in” the atmosphere instead of “actively” taking part in whatever the partygoers are doing

While they've been able to keep their face scar-free, even after all the intensive training they've had, the same cannot be said about the rest of their body (their most noticeable scars are the multiple 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘸 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘴 on their shoulder/neck from the bear attack) 🩹

𝐂𝐚𝐥 struggles when dealing with people who genuinely care about their well-being (as most are either afraid of them or want something from them), they're left feeling unsure if they really even deserve it

Most people (i.e. those that don't know them personally) assume their “flat” expressions are due to them being cold & unfriendly; instead they're simply nervous about being around strangers that most likely already have negative preconceived notions about them (😐 <-screaming internally)

𝐂𝐚𝐥 always tries to be as formal/polite as possible with anyone they're unfamiliar with, but when they're around those they consider friends, their behavior & manner of speech become much more casual/sarcastic

They did their best to avoid completing the 𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 (the very thought of killing another HUMAN made them feel sick, even hunting animals was hard for them), but watching their mother being beheaded broke something inside them ... ending in a room full of frozen corpses with only their mother's body left unscathed 🥶

In the aftermath of their icy explosion, 𝐂𝐚𝐥 spent their days in a semi-catatonic daze (they finally came back to themselves the day their father returned home; sobbing into his chest as he held them which was sadly the only time he's ever done so)

Everytime 𝐇𝐚𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐧 calls them “𝐻𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑦” they melt inside (despite knowing he's just teasing them & that his choice of words don't mean anything in the end... not that they'd want him to 😳!!!)

Despite their father's teachings, 𝐂𝐚𝐥 prefers to approach life/others with an empathetic attitude (but will NOT hesitate to “dispose of” anything that threatens them or those they care about)

After the death of their mother, they began hiding their emotions; only revealing their “vulnerabilities” to those they trust & feel completely safe with 🥹 (like 𝐇𝐚𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐧/𝐍𝐢𝐱 once they're officially together ❤️‍🩹)

𝐂𝐚𝐥 is very attentive when it comes to the needs & comforts of those they care about (physical, mental, emotional, etc...)

When it comes to conflict, they always try to resolve things peacefully… & unlike their father, they show mercy to those who honestly seek it (killing is only a last resort for them)

In a rare moment of rebellion, 𝐂𝐚𝐥 refused to execute 𝐒𝐢𝐫 𝐅𝐢𝐨𝐧 & instead swung their sword at their father 🗡😠 (they would not kill the only positive male figure they had in their life)… they also demanded that 𝐅𝐢𝐨𝐧 be buried with dignity

…

𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐦 means “𝘥𝘰𝘷𝘦” (Latin-> Scottish)

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𝐼𝐹: @bloodlegacies

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[Approximate Heights]

Picrew used:

[jobazzle]

specifically chose this showtime to see a horror movie at the theater bc i checked online and other ppl had bought tickets (being alone in a theater for a horror movie is a little too scare for me…) and so far!!! I AM!!! THE ONLY ONE!!! IN HERE!!!! how!!! fun!!!