#bodily fluids

[foldingfittedsheets]

So one of my doctor friends shared a story when he was getting his degree that is stupid funny to me, even more so because he finds it so utterly mundane.

He was in a small lab class and they were studying how to read diagnostics on different bodily fluids. The class was about 80% female. When they reached the stage of needing to see semen up close things got… personal.

See, spermies don’t keep super well once expelled from the safety and comfort of their testicle. They’re delicate little guys that are best observed fresh. There wasn’t a feasible way to get enough fresh semen in from reputable outside sources that would be viable to study. And all the people incapable of producing semen of their own to study needed to find samples somewhere.

So the two guys in class were suddenly in very popular demand. The impression I got from him was that of a hunted creature, surrounded by the baying of hounds as they closed in, called for his jizz juice.

The day of class he removed himself to a private bathroom and did what he had to do.

For science medicine.

Later I would go on to take a cooking class at that university and used that very bathroom and while sitting on the toilet I thought, damn, I wonder how many dudes have had to come jerk it in here over the years.

[alex2xander]

Shout out to all the tumblr users dealing with daily fatigue and severe depression.

Respect to those who have medium and high support needs who need assistance with bodily functions.

Love to those who cannot safely leave their bedrooms or home due to the pandemic and lack of societal support.

Care to those who spend the majority of their life online because this is the only way they can socialize with the outside world

There are so many of us trying to make it day to day. I love you and you're not alone in this.

I love you people who have to be carried, lifted, or escorted in mobility aids to do daily living tasks

I love you people who depend entirely on your cariers and personal aids for every function

I love you people who haven't been able to shower in over a week and therefore have tangled or matted hair and body odour

I love you people who have been wearing the same clothes for over a week

I love you people who dont have the energy to get out of bed to use the bathroom and need to use diapers or a bed pan

I love you people who havent been able to cook their own meal in months

I love you people who have piles of dirty clothes and trash scattered around their room

I love you people who uncontrollably drool on yourself and your property

I love you people who have slowly lost mobility and function over time and are adjusting to their new life

[saltminerising]

poopie

[kapps-locke]

i hate this man i hate this man i hate this man i hate this man i (love him. so dearly.)

anyway this is the cover to my sunday playlist. lmk if yall want a link

[deepinthewillcws]

At least 3 times a day I will turn into that one horse dog and 👹 that's piss 👹

[c0untingw0rmzz]

for the last time I’m not picking my nose, I’m adjusting my nose ring

[saltminerising]

water discord: STP pair

me, clueless: stand to pee pair?

🌱

[trauma-trove]

Piggybacking off my last "you're not responsible for how your body reacts to trauma" post, but like dude my ass is wet. I have been so wet and slimey all day that my actual ass is wet and has been wet all day. Why do I have to put up with this

[i-3at-s0ap]

Born to convulse violently in the floor in a pool of my own bodily fluids forced to walk calmly to the hotel room

[whisperofthewaves]

gods. this morning in the metro there was a guy literally licking clean his packet of cookies, and also licking his fingers by sticking them whole into the mouth

and now somebody were being violently ill under my windows just as I was finishing my supper

[dancing-heart-pony]

InkEGOretober, Day 28: Sparkle ✨ / Neon Gore 🧑🏻‍🎤 / (12) Green 💚

Swour Fwuit Gummie 💚

[disengaged]

GOOPY

[kiragecko]

If all goes well, I might actually know what's wrong with me by monday! AND I have medication that supposed to help with the cramping. (It hasn't yet, but I'm still hopeful.)

Downside is pooping into a tupperware container. For multiple days. Which is pretty gross.

[tomorrowusa]

Whether he really said he would do it or not, donating sperm for Mars sounds like something Elon Musk would do. It's amazing, as well as cautionary, that the real life mega-rich behave like wannabe James Bond villains.

Elon Musk has denied that he offered up his sperm to help start a colony on Mars. The SpaceX founder, who has previously warned that humanity must colonize Mars if it is to survive, said he had not made a personal contribution to that effort after The New York Times reported he had volunteered his sperm as part of SpaceX's plans to build a city on the red planet. "I have not, for what it's worth, 'volunteered my sperm'" wrote Musk in a post on X. [ ... ] According to the NYT report, which is based on interviews with more than 20 people close to Musk and SpaceX and on internal SpaceX documents, Musk has directed SpaceX employees to investigate the details of how a Mars colony would work, with one team drawing up plans for a series of dome-shaped habitats on the red planet. A SpaceX medical team is also reportedly looking into whether it is possible for humans to have children on Mars, the Times wrote. Two people with knowledge of Musk's comments also told the NYT the Tesla CEO had volunteered his sperm to help grow the colony.

A colony of inbred Martians Muskians on the Red Planet would be a great subject for a comedic dystopian novel or TV series. Perhaps a clone of Musk's hair transplant surgeon would also be present at the colony.

Elon's Martian sperm is not the only news regarding him today.

Elon Musk's X platform in breach of EU rules

Preliminary findings from the European Commission on Friday said tech billionaire Elon Musk's X (formerly Twitter) social media platform was in breach of EU digital content rules. "Today, the Commission has informed X of its preliminary view that it is in breach of the Digital Services Act (DSA) in areas linked to dark patterns, advertising transparency and data access for researchers," the European Commission said in a statement. [ ... ] "Back in the day, BlueChecks used to mean trustworthy sources of information," European Commissioner Thierry Breton said in a statement. "Now with X, our preliminary view is that they deceive users and infringe the DSA." Secondly, the Commission said that X was not in compliance with "required transparency on advertising" and did not provide "a searchable and reliable advertisement repository." In the third preliminary finding, the Commission said that X "fails to provide access to its public data to researchers" which it said need to be in line with the DSA.